#733 - Judah Friedlander

[0] There's no levels, Judah Freelander.

[1] We don't give a fuck about levels.

[2] We're here to learn how to beat up anybody.

[3] That's right.

[4] You're not wearing a World Champ hat, dude.

[5] Oh, you got a World Champ shirt.

[6] It says it in sign language.

[7] Oh, you crafty best.

[8] Yeah, these are actually the severed shrunken fists of my deceased opponents melted onto my hat.

[9] Now, is that a real weathered hat or did you prematurely weather it?

[10] No, this is, I've been wearing this hat for years.

[11] Really?

[12] Yeah.

[13] Oh, okay.

[14] My mom keeps saying you should retire it.

[15] No, no, no. But I keep wearing it.

[16] No, it's vintage now.

[17] It's been through battles.

[18] It's been through wars.

[19] You know what you could do, though, for sure, is you could sell those, like, the ones that you've worn for, like, a long time, and people would gobble it up.

[20] Yeah, maybe.

[21] Yeah.

[22] You know how, like, those, do you know what a humiliatrix is?

[23] No. There's a lot of gals out there that make a living selling their old socks.

[24] Uh -huh.

[25] And they'll sell, like, various bodily fluids and excretions to dudes who have a thing for that.

[26] Yeah.

[27] We had this girl Sierra Lynch on recently, and she educated us on this world.

[28] So it's like vintage shopping, but with a more personal touch to it.

[29] I like how you put a spin on it, man. Yeah, that's beautiful.

[30] So you wrote this book, which is How to Beat Up Anybody.

[31] Yeah, that was five years ago that came out now.

[32] It's an instructional karate book.

[33] Nice.

[34] Yeah.

[35] How much karate have you actually studied?

[36] Well, no, this book is basically a spoof of people who think they're great at it but are horrendous at it.

[37] It's basically, you know, I teach you how to beat up ninjas and big foots, but it's kind of like the worst martial arts instruction possible.

[38] And it's like a 208 page photo joke book, basically, that way.

[39] And then, yeah, this is a new book that just came out called If the Rain Drops United, which is a book of drawings and cartoons that I did, mostly single panel.

[40] cartoons and most of them are comedy but I'd say probably 40 % of the ones that are comedy are kind of like dark satire on big issues whether it's like uh yeah that one honest tits lying tits yeah that's a big issue that's a big issue out there well and it has to do with the nipples like you went pinocchio yeah yeah it's basically a pinocchio story told through nipples yeah no that that's definitely not one of the more uh social commentary uh ones in there But I do like that one That's a good one And I do like lying nipples also I am nothing wrong with them Yeah I like all nipples Me too, I'm a fan I don't discriminate Yeah I've heard people say something like Oh man I don't like when you have small nipples Or like really pale ariola Just be happy you get to see them Yeah I think people that I think we can call that white privilege Let's call that white privilege Let's call that white privilege Let's call that exactly what it is But it's like no Whenever I hear people complaining about Like especially like you know It's like you're already getting laid.

[41] What are you complaining about?

[42] Exactly.

[43] You know, it's like you can't complain about breasts.

[44] I knew this dude who's in a wheelchair.

[45] He used to play wheelchair.

[46] He used to play pool.

[47] And he was like, you're playing tournaments and stuff.

[48] He's like, he had all these physical problems.

[49] He was like really unhealthy.

[50] And was his wheelchairness due to health reasons?

[51] Yes.

[52] Okay, got you.

[53] Yeah.

[54] So he was, you know, as a physical specimen, he was a mess.

[55] but he was addicted to prostitutes and he would only go for ones that had really well taken care of feet and he had this huge issue like someone's feet were too big or if their feet like he would like freak out about feet like he would get like almost angry and you want to go dude you should be happy than anybody wants to just hug you yeah like if you could pay a couple hundred bucks and a girl will get naked with you like whoa and that's a score that's also a story where you really got to, like, give respect to the people that work in the sex industry.

[56] Oh, yeah.

[57] I have a lot of respect for them because people, I think, like, people don't understand, you know, what a difficult job that is.

[58] And think about, like, the woman who goes to him.

[59] Yeah.

[60] And, you know, she's being paid to please him.

[61] And what does he smell like?

[62] Yeah.

[63] And then her foot's, like, an inch too long.

[64] And he's mad.

[65] Yeah.

[66] Yeah.

[67] That's, you know, that's, that's more of a hassle than being a barista at some coffee place.

[68] or something like that way more way more so the sex worker thing is a real it's a real issue with our puritanical culture that we have this this prejudice against people that have sex with people for money yeah we don't we don't have it with any other thing that we enjoy yeah don't have it with people that cook for people for money or people to give massages for money or cut people's hair do a bunch of things that people don't necessarily want to do i have more respect for the sex worker because if you think about it we're a capitalist society they're more capitalists than the rest of us you know they're there they're well in a sense you know they're they're they're using their body for uh to make money you know but what's wrong with them in a sense they're athletes exactly well they definitely are they definitely no they are they are yeah it's kind of weird that it's still illegal though it really is weird i mean at a certain point in time become stupid if it's the thing that everybody wants the most if you if you across the board what do people desire more than anything at a certain time in their it's going to be sex.

[69] Obviously, it's food and rest and shelter and, you know, everyone wants to have a comfortable life and good friends and all that stuff.

[70] But everyone who's sexually active, whose body works, it's functional.

[71] Yeah.

[72] They want sex.

[73] Even people whose bodies aren't functional, they still want that.

[74] Yeah.

[75] And if you look at all advertising for no matter what product it is, it's usually sex is the subtext of what they're selling.

[76] Yeah.

[77] So here's someone that's openly and honestly selling it.

[78] And then, yet, they get discriminated against.

[79] They get locked up.

[80] Yeah.

[81] They get locked up.

[82] I mean, there's task forces designed to capture them.

[83] Yeah.

[84] You know, there's, my friend Brian Callan, I think he's told the story in the podcast before, he was talking to some girl in front of a club in New York.

[85] You know, Brian, he's a silly, he's a silly goose.

[86] And some girls were, he's like, hey, girls.

[87] And they're like, hey, you want a date?

[88] He's like, a date.

[89] Well, how much would that cost?

[90] and she's, and, you know, and she said, you know, how much do you, how much would you be willing to pay?

[91] He goes, $10 ,000.

[92] He got, he got pulled in for that.

[93] They, they, like, literally.

[94] Were these women cops?

[95] Yes.

[96] Oh, wow.

[97] Like, he said $10 ,000.

[98] So was this recently?

[99] No, years ago.

[100] Okay, because I was going to say, because, like, street hookers, you don't really see in New York anymore.

[101] But I remember, like, 20 years ago, you know, just going into, like, the corner deli, and girl, comes up to me and she's like hi you want a date and I was like you know for you know this is the first time it happened to me and I was like I'm like I'm like first of all what's going on and then you realize pretty quickly you know the woman's a hooker and I'm like no that's okay but thanks how hot was she she was pretty hot so if you if she wasn't a hooker if she was just a person and thought you were attractive uh yeah I'd probably talk to her yeah but I'm like a germaphobe so I really yeah yeah so how what level like Howie Mandel level uh he's he's the black belt Yeah, no, his is different than mine.

[102] Mine's kind of different.

[103] I don't know how his mentally works, but there's different kinds of OCD, and mine goes through various phases.

[104] Like some people will be a neat freak because, or they might lock their door five times because they're afraid they, oh, maybe I forgot to lock it and then someone's going to break in.

[105] But there's another kind where if you don't lock it, like doing it like the exact, you know, physical motions that you're supposed to.

[106] then something bad's going to happen to you that day.

[107] Like you might get cancer if you don't lock the door properly.

[108] So that's why you might lock it 10 times.

[109] It's like you'll get some kind of a hex or a jinx on you.

[110] That's the kind of thing that I have sporadically often on.

[111] I've had it for years, you know.

[112] Sporatically?

[113] In various, yeah, it comes and goes, you know.

[114] So when does it go when you're feeling great about life and everything's going well?

[115] Sometimes, sometimes you think, okay, something's bad has got to happen now because things are going well.

[116] Oh, you think about it that way.

[117] I was thinking the other way, that like when things are going well, you think, well, I don't have to worry about the hex right now.

[118] No, no. Usually it's when I'm not busy, like, you know, because then your mind, because my mind is kind of always racing, you know, so if you're just, if you're unable to just sit back and relax, then your mind, it just keeps racing.

[119] And then if it gets on a negative thought, it just, you know, spirals and spirals and spirals.

[120] That's so common amongst comics that we were just talking about that yesterday with which.

[121] Whitney Cummings.

[122] She has like a kind of a similar thing where she has to constantly be active, constantly be doing things.

[123] And I'm kind of the same way.

[124] I'm always doing something.

[125] Yeah, right, right.

[126] Is that a comedian thing?

[127] Like, what the hell is that?

[128] Yeah, I don't know.

[129] I mean, like, sometimes when I'm exhausted and stressed out, I will go out to the comedy clubs and do two or three shows in one night.

[130] And people say, why are you doing that?

[131] I'm like, because it's actually the most relaxing thing I do.

[132] It's like being up on stage, for whatever reason, that's where I'm most comfortable.

[133] Well, and also, it's really fun.

[134] Yeah, yeah, and not telling people forget, it's a hell of a lot of fun.

[135] I got a chance to see TIG Nataro, Natasha Legerro, and Jim Jeffries last night.

[136] What a fucking show.

[137] That's awesome.

[138] TIG Nataro is hilarious.

[139] So, first time I've seen her live, she's really fucking funny.

[140] Where was the show?

[141] At the improv.

[142] Oh, cool.

[143] Jim Jeffries was fucking hilarious.

[144] And, oh, my God, Natasha Lajero killed.

[145] Awesome.

[146] Oh, she's got this Oprah bit.

[147] I was screaming so funny man it's so funny but it's like to do stand up it's like it's you know it requires concentration and you have to work at it and all that good stuff but when it's when you've got the bits and when you're actually like you know in the you know you're in the zone and everything's going well it's so fun oh yeah yeah you're seeing people have a great time it's the most fun thing I do so it's what I would most like to do yeah so I totally makes I've never like canceled a show because I was tired Ever.

[148] And the other thing is, like, you know, I'll feel tired when I'm leaving my house.

[149] Like, oh, I got to fucking fire up.

[150] I got to show in an hour.

[151] But once I get there, when you're on stage, it's like.

[152] Everything's firing up, man. And then when you're off, you want to go up again.

[153] It's such a beautiful exchange, too.

[154] You know, particularly I feel that way about, like, Hollywood clubs, because you're not really getting any money.

[155] No. Well, same with New York.

[156] I mean, in New York City, you don't, those are the two cities kind of.

[157] Probably in the world, you know, that where in general, when you're working those two cities on a nightly basis where there's multiple comics per show, you're basically, you're basically working for free or very little money.

[158] So you're doing it for the love of it and everyone is, you know.

[159] And everyone's doing it also because it's like these fueling stations, like the seller or the stand or the store and these places where you go and all the other comics are there and we all kind of fuel up, you know.

[160] Yeah.

[161] And also, comedy is something you can't practice.

[162] It's not like guitar.

[163] You can get at home, stay at home, but you really fucking go to guitar just by playing by yourself all day of guitar.

[164] But stand -up, you have to go on stage.

[165] Otherwise, you're not doing stand -up.

[166] Yeah, you have to go on stage also when you're working out bits because they take a life of their own up there.

[167] Like, I'll write a bit out and I'll have like, ooh, I got a great new bit.

[168] I can't wait to try it.

[169] But when you're on stage, that fucker just takes turns of its own.

[170] Yeah, I think that's because your mind's, at least for me, like my mind's in like hyper -driving.

[171] drive when I'm on stage.

[172] So I might, like, I always carry around, like, you know, little, you know, little sheets of paper with, like, you know, that's your sheets.

[173] That's your nose.

[174] With, like, a few, like, words on it or something.

[175] You draw on them, too.

[176] Yeah, yeah.

[177] Well, these are just some random, like, faces and dudes.

[178] It's all penises.

[179] Why?

[180] No, well, that's a tongue on a dude, but it looks like a penis kind of, yeah.

[181] But, uh, so, but yeah, so I'll like, I'll usually have a thought or, like, a sentence, or maybe it'll be like a one -liner.

[182] Right.

[183] And then I get on stage and then it'll let's it gets if it gets a laugh then I immediately I'm thinking art how do I extend this and take it in another direction and get another laugh you know why do you have a ritual like why do you write it on paper why don't you put it on your phone I don't know I'm just pen and I'm more of a pen and paper person I am to remember shit like before every set I have a notebook that I bring with me everywhere when I do shows and before every set like in my hotel room I go have a big show that night I'll write write out my bits really yeah oh wow sometimes I'll write out my whole act I'll spend hour wow yeah I usually that's that's good I usually this is usually me before headlining a show and like I get there right when there's right when there's like five minutes before I'm supposed to go on and then as they're saying my name I pull out a piece of paper from my pocket go all right let's go yeah because I'm trying to remember a few the new you know a few new things but yeah I always forget stuff I do that too I mean but when I'm I feel like that the even though you don't have to do that sort of preparation the sitting in front going over all the material when I do do that everything comes out better yeah no I working you know I think you got to work off stage and on stage but I tend to work a little like I don't know I saw that Seinfeld documentary and it seems like he works almost completely off stage you know like his act is written and then he goes up and says it you know that's what it seemed like from the documentary um I do I do I'm I do more writing.

[184] I'm about maybe 60 -40, where, you know, as far as off -stage writing to on -stage writing.

[185] Yeah, I think you need both, you know.

[186] And people that don't write off -stage, I'm always like, God, man, you're missing out.

[187] Yeah, you have to.

[188] Yeah.

[189] To get the most.

[190] How long have you been doing stand -up now?

[191] I started in 89.

[192] And when did you become world champion?

[193] That was at some point, you know, I'm not great at math.

[194] It's one of my weaknesses.

[195] But it was, that was it, you know, I was dabbling in it in the, I would say, mid to late 90s, but it's changed, the persona has changed so much over the years.

[196] But it's, it's such a weird one that you've always stuck with.

[197] Like, every time I see you've got a world champion hat on.

[198] Yeah, yeah.

[199] You would talk to the stage.

[200] It's kind of like when you get knighted, like Sir Ben Kingsley.

[201] It's like he's not fighting, you know, every day, but he was still officially knighted, so he still's got the title.

[202] And theoretically, I'm still undefeated, so I still got the title.

[203] But, yeah, no, initially the world champion persona kind of started as, when I was a kid, I was obsessed with Guinness Booker World Records.

[204] And I always used to try to break them.

[205] Like, when I was eight, I tried to break the Pogo Stick record.

[206] I think the record was like 13 hours straight.

[207] Oh, my God.

[208] And I did it for an hour straight without missing.

[209] Really?

[210] And an hour when you're eight is like a really long fucking time, you know.

[211] And I was so bored.

[212] I was a little tired, but I was so bored.

[213] board and I was I was just like fuck it this is not worth breaking this world record it's amazing that it's only 13 hours I feel like that was at the time that was at the time you know that was in the 70s that was like in 77 there's a gang of world records that people found out were pretty easy and they went way I can do that yeah and then they broke them I think there are there are yeah yeah it's got to be because probably people haven't even tried yeah like the Guinness book is a fat book yeah it is and you can like come up with a world record like yeah there's the group that does that where they come up with ridiculous things that nobody else is doing and then you know it'd be like it would be like a light rock you know um juggling three of these the longest you did it and then then you get a world record you know well didn't dane cook was it dane or was it uh Chappelle who did the world record for the longest show I think they both had it at various times and then one of them broke the other I'm not sure who I think Chappelle broke the Danes I think someone else that no one's ever heard of did like 28 hours so but I think it was Tommy Tiernan in Ireland.

[214] I think he did 28 hours straight or something like that.

[215] Oh, wow, okay.

[216] Yeah, like, okay.

[217] Yeah, it's like, fuck it, who wants to break that?

[218] Who's watching that show?

[219] And who wants to break that?

[220] Yeah.

[221] What does it mean?

[222] Who wants to stay up for 28 hours straight?

[223] Yeah, there's some weird world records, man. Like, what is it about world record?

[224] Like, I remember I wrote this article once about this guy who his world record was he had the longest fingernails ever.

[225] I remember that guy.

[226] He was in all the books when I was a kid.

[227] And his, they curle up.

[228] That guy has massive nerve damage in his shoulder.

[229] And has a hand that he cannot use for anything.

[230] Can't use for anything.

[231] Can't wipe his ass, can't save his life.

[232] Yeah.

[233] And because it's heavy, it's fucked up his nervous system.

[234] Yeah.

[235] Like his body's imbalanced.

[236] It's like carrying a brick everywhere you go.

[237] Yeah.

[238] A brick made out of fingernails.

[239] Yeah.

[240] So I was obsessed with those things.

[241] And then I, so I think somewhere in like the early 90s or mid, mid -90s, I was like, I started writing all these jokes about brick.

[242] breaking all these ridiculous world records.

[243] And my act was always very joke -heavy, you know, a lot of one -liners, and it was always very, you know, always did a lot of crowd work.

[244] And then I started making my own hat somewhere in the mid -90s, and I first made one that said record breaker.

[245] And then I thought it would be funny to make a hat that said, world champion, but not of what?

[246] Like, who is this idiot wearing a hat that says, world champion?

[247] It doesn't even say what it is.

[248] Like, you know, this is just this moron bragging kind of guy.

[249] Right.

[250] And it was also good because then it would lure the audience, in to ask me questions, and I love doing crowd work.

[251] So it kind of worked, and it fed into these world record, these ridiculous athletic achievement jokes that I was doing at the time.

[252] And then at some point, it sort of morphed, and it became not a guy who was bragging.

[253] It became like an actual real -life superhero, who really is this amazing athlete and sexual creature that is just better than everyone.

[254] And he's actually just humbly stating how amazing he is.

[255] You know, you talk about fucking Lewis Lane, you know, in front of Superman, without him knowing.

[256] And Lewis Lane?

[257] Is that Lois' brother?

[258] Yeah, it was Lewis.

[259] Yeah, it was Lewis Lane.

[260] It was, uh, it's actually her real name.

[261] She was, she's transgender.

[262] A lot of people don't know that.

[263] The comics, because of bigotry at the time never addressed it.

[264] Oh, they glossed over it.

[265] Yeah, they did.

[266] Yeah, they sure did.

[267] Wow.

[268] How rude of them.

[269] Yeah.

[270] Wrong.

[271] Yeah.

[272] Lois is a weird name for a chick.

[273] I don't know any Lois's.

[274] She might be the only Lois ever.

[275] Yeah, I don't know any Loisers.

[276] I don't know any Loisers.

[277] So then, yeah, so then the World Champion kind of became this, and that's what this karate book is.

[278] is just the real -life greatest martial artist and athlete ever to walk the planet.

[279] And who doesn't brag, but it's just, you know, so incredible.

[280] And then the past few years, it's morphed some more where the world champion is, I mean, he still has that.

[281] You know, that is still is the greatest athlete and stuff, but it may not be talking about that, but he's become a person who is a champion of the world and for the rights of the people of the world.

[282] So recently, like the past, I started doing shows in Europe about four years ago, and it really kind of opened up my mind and my point of view because you know when you're in a bad relationship, like you can't see it, but all your friends can see it because you're like too close.

[283] Yeah.

[284] But then if you step out, then you can like a couple years later, you're like, what the fuck was I doing, you know?

[285] So when I started performing shows like in England and other countries in Europe, I initially thought, oh, I'm going to be learning a lot of.

[286] these countries.

[287] And I did that, but what I really started learning about a lot was my own country, because you were able to see how other people live, step away from the way you've been living, and physically be farther away.

[288] So I started sort of just started seeing some of the hypocrisies and the ridiculousness of, you know, just the culture and the laws that we have, the bullshit with the government.

[289] And so I started talking more about, you know, the past you know different kinds of things so and I try to I still try to you know do it from the same ridiculous and absurd angles that my act has always kind of been but now with you know dealing with like big issues like that because I've always liked doing like dark twisted crazy shit you know in my material and finding laughs in dark places and so now with like if I do if I'm doing bits about racism, I love it because I love how uncomfortable the audience gets.

[290] Like if I'm doing bits about, like I've one bit about terminology about black people, should they be called black, should it be called African American.

[291] You should see, like usually the black people are, they're a little uncomfortable at first, but then they're fine.

[292] The white people are almost always terrified to be even discussing this.

[293] And that's where I like to get comedy out of those situations.

[294] You know, I've never been the guy who likes to get it out of the easy spot.

[295] I like going to where it's difficult.

[296] So I've been doing more stuff like that.

[297] And I also like doing it for everyone.

[298] I don't, Democrats, Republicans, because I don't find it interesting.

[299] Like, if you're preaching to the choir, I never find that interesting or challenging.

[300] I like doing a bit about guns and there's people on the right and the left and they're all laughing at the shit.

[301] That's what I like doing and trying to do, you know.

[302] So there's like a conscious effort you have when you're crafting your jokes to?

[303] sort of like, or is it just like what you normally just sort of gravitate towards?

[304] Well, these are things I normally gravitate towards, but I try to do it so that I try to point out of the absurdity in it and to sort of like get people to laugh at something and then they're realizing, wow, the fact that we're arguing over this is really absurd, you know, and so, so that they're going to laugh at it no matter what, you know, what their point of view is on an issue.

[305] Like, like, say, gun control, you know.

[306] Gun control is a big one.

[307] Because both sides, they want the same thing.

[308] You know, they want peace.

[309] You know, they want safety, whether you're four guns or against guns.

[310] They both want that.

[311] So they have something in common.

[312] But they're so passionate about, you know, we want our guns, we don't want the guns, that they don't actually see that they actually have more common ground than they think.

[313] Right.

[314] I mean, that's not what I preach in my act.

[315] But, you know, I take that, you know, that knowledge beforehand that these people actually agree more than they disagree.

[316] You know, it's how they go about.

[317] solving the issue, that they disagree.

[318] Well, I think when we set up two opposing camps, like the right and the left, Democrats or Republicans, you know, you almost always have these artificial barriers that are like set up in place for people reaching common ground.

[319] Yeah, like they're already in place like you can't agree.

[320] It's already black and white.

[321] It's already good guys versus bad guys.

[322] Well, it's the left.

[323] The left has their ideas and you have to oppose them if you're on the right, even if they make sense.

[324] Yeah.

[325] What I think's gotten, and I think this has gotten, worse and I think some of it is due like to the internet which we were talking about a little bit before the podcast started where it's like nuance is like gone it's like even on the internet on Twitter if you say one thing if you do one tweet and one person or one group gets offended you are demonized forever it's like you can't it's like you'll never be the same you know like they're done with you it's almost like you know like when a five -year -old kid eats broccoli for the first time and he just goes yuck and then spits it out it's like that's the way adults are now on like every big issue right so you write a tweet about something that's who you are yeah it's like it's like there's no room for discussion it's like you're evil uh you have to go well it's also the just the taking someone and judging them based on a tweet is so precarious because you're dealing with 140 characters you have a limit of 140 characters Yeah.

[326] And, you know, a lot of times, especially if it's a joke, you know, like, there's so much more that you could say about that subject that would give, like, you would sort of fill it all in.

[327] Yeah.

[328] Like, oh, here's Judah's actual perspective on this.

[329] Right.

[330] But instead, you know, they take 70 characters that you thought would be kind of funny to put out, you know, like, you piece of shit.

[331] How dare you say that about blank, you know?

[332] And the fact that people come to a judgment about someone.

[333] entire being immediately and then don't even want to discuss things it's like it's like you can't progress if you can't discuss things well i think you're dealing with what you're calling progressives yeah people that call themselves progressives are almost many people on the left or when we're using labels again for lack of a better term are more fascist than people on the right you know definitely more regressive fascism can come from both sides you You know, and with freedom of speech, people can, and I'm someone who's, for human rights, 100%, and always standing up for the underdog.

[334] There's actually a cartoon.

[335] I see the term fascist.

[336] I used to think this, too, but I think the term fascist actually deals with conservative issues.

[337] I think, I'm pretty sure.

[338] Jamie, pull up the definition of fascist.

[339] Yeah, I'm forgetting, because I've looked it up before, too.

[340] I think people use it incorrectly because they just assume it's like.

[341] But I have this one cartoon here in the movie.

[342] book and it's at a college campus and it says smoking awareness week and the right you have a good lung which is white and a bad lung which is black and underneath they say this poster's racist then she goes let's protest that's like the bad lung which is black is not bad because of anything to do with like the color it's because a black lung is a polluted lung that is not healthy i understand yeah yeah but i'm saying but so some people i'm saying some people their hearts in the right place, but they're misguided.

[343] Yes.

[344] So that's without protection.

[345] Well, you know, here we go, fascists.

[346] Governmental system led by a dictator having a racist.

[347] I've seen more than one definition.

[348] That's interesting.

[349] I've seen a different definition.

[350] Look at the Webster's definition.

[351] What do they say?

[352] Organized society government ruled by a dictator.

[353] It's criticizing aggression.

[354] But I've seen it, I've seen it written.

[355] Full definition.

[356] Let's see.

[357] A political philosophy.

[358] Centralized autocratic government headed by a dictator, dictator, that's a weird word, dictatorial leaderships.

[359] Right, but see, some of it is, social regimentation, you know, a certain philosophy that is forced upon people, you know.

[360] Yeah, yeah, so that it is fascist then.

[361] Yeah.

[362] Yeah.

[363] I just think there's so much with culture now, there's such this, there's a, there's the, not in the concept of discussing something.

[364] And also, when you talk to people who disagree with you on something, that's when you can really learn, you know, about their point of view and your point of view.

[365] You know, you both can learn.

[366] I think also what we're dealing with is there's a lot of people now that we're marginalized before and didn't have a viewpoint, maybe in high school and maybe even in college.

[367] And now, because of the internet, they've found like -minded people, they band together.

[368] And they really become sort of thought bullies.

[369] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[370] People, it's not about like you just said something wrong.

[371] It's like you now have to be shamed for it.

[372] Instead of like, you know, if someone says something, you know, that's, even if someone ever says anything to me about something, it's like, I want to discuss it and find out why they're feeling that way.

[373] And then if I still think differently, explain my point of view to them so that they can see it.

[374] But I don't know.

[375] People just, it's like they just want to fight.

[376] They just want to shame and fight.

[377] It's weird.

[378] Well, they want to attack because they're afraid of being attacked themselves.

[379] It's almost like they want to attack first That's a lot of what's going on It's part of what I teach in my book How to Beat Up Anybody It's self -offence, yeah Do you teach that verbally?

[380] Ask questions, never, yeah Shame first?

[381] No, no, no, I don't take it.

[382] For they shame you?

[383] No, no, I don't do it.

[384] Shame them to death, maybe.

[385] No, I don't do that.

[386] I don't do that.

[387] No, never?

[388] Not into that, no. You should maybe that's what your new persona when you morph again?

[389] Oh, that's interesting.

[390] You'd be a shamer.

[391] That's interesting.

[392] You just start shaming people for shit That's not even shameful.

[393] Yeah, I like that.

[394] So I actually did that recently a little bit of my act.

[395] I did that a little bit where I'm sort of making fun of it like as soon as when people start clapping I'm like guys just stop that.

[396] That's actually offensive to people without hands and then I'll say I said I'd like to apologize for wearing a hat.

[397] That's offensive to our friends in the headless community.

[398] You know, just making fun of the people who are like way too I had this I had this woman Christina Summers on who's a feminist and she calls herself the factual feminist.

[399] She kind of fights against a lot of ridiculous ideas.

[400] that's going around the what the quote -unquote feminist community where they're spouting false statistics and fake studies or studies that are not real or very biased well within the feminist movement there's there's many different factions yeah and uh fuck for our world's sorry about it that's okay um they'll come back to what did you just say before that what were you just saying uh we're talking about there's many different factions of feminism no no no it was before that shit uh i was talking about the headless community they're not offending them Oh, clapping.

[401] That's what it was.

[402] Jesus Christ.

[403] She was saying that, I'll fight not for cold, I think.

[404] Brains not so hot today.

[405] I think it's going around with everybody.

[406] It is.

[407] Everyone's got some kind of weird sort of cold.

[408] She was saying that she does these shows and where they, you know, people give speeches and they don't want people clapping because they think clapping will trigger people that have been beaten before.

[409] So like hearing this will trigger the idea of you being beaten.

[410] So they all have, they do jazz hands, or they snap.

[411] Yeah, they snap.

[412] Yeah, I read about the snapping thing.

[413] Just insane.

[414] And, you know, the original, I think when the beatniks in the 60s in New York used to do the snapping, that was because they were having illegal shows.

[415] And if they all applauded, that would, the neighbor, people who lived, you know, on the upstairs or the next door, would hear they applaud.

[416] Then they'd call the cops and shut them down.

[417] Really?

[418] So they did the snapping because it was quieter than clapping.

[419] that way they can still show like that you know appreciation appreciation yeah so that was the initial thing where the beatniks did it is that real i think so it's because they had illegal speakies where where they were like after our shows going on and shit my mom used to have this really cool lamp in her house that was made with like lead and stained glass and it was from an original speak easy from the prohibition oh wow cool i don't know what the fuck she did with that thing it was so awesome that's awesome yeah that's cool i don't know if she sold it or got rid of it or what god damn i wish i had that though because she had it restored and put together i mean it's like a lamp from like 1921 or something like that where where is she where like uh my mom was in mexico now oh wow yeah my mom my stepdad they live in mexico they found like this strange community of expats in mexico a lot of people move to mexico and they get older i think jesse ventura has got like a place down there yeah he lives in mexico he's a weird fucker i want to get to know Mexico, because I really don't know it that well at all.

[420] Mexico is awesome.

[421] I love Mexico.

[422] I hear Mexico City is just amazing.

[423] It's very cool.

[424] And they have a lot of good filmmakers coming out of there now.

[425] But the pollution is staggering.

[426] Really?

[427] Yeah, I took photos of it and put it up on my Instagram and see if you can't find one of those.

[428] You can't even believe it.

[429] It doesn't look real.

[430] It looks like you're flying into a fire.

[431] Why have friends, like, from Beijing and China and like...

[432] Ooh, that's even worse.

[433] It's just insane.

[434] I think that's the worst in the world.

[435] Yeah, China has some of the worst.

[436] I think so.

[437] Yeah.

[438] But Mexico City was so bad I was getting headaches there and you smell it you smell it when you land you're like whoa and apparently they say the pollution is way better now than it was a decade ago which is very hard to believe wow traffic there is also insane the traffic lights are a fucking joke right it's a free for all right and trying to merge like look at that that's flying in that's Mexico City yeah like that cloud yeah yeah shit that is uh that's when I was driving here I just read I just heard it on the radio in Porter Ranch.

[439] There's some kind of gas leak.

[440] Oh, yeah?

[441] Yeah, and they just got this camera, the special camera that can, like, see gas.

[442] And it's like, they, like, the government and the authority said, no, it's not leaking.

[443] And someone got this special camera that can, like, see gas.

[444] And it's still going everywhere in Porter Ranch.

[445] And 700 families have moved out.

[446] And they're, like, trying to, like, fight the government and sue the government or that plant or whatever that's doing it.

[447] Yeah.

[448] Oh, God.

[449] Because I'm like, that's not that far from here.

[450] New infrared video shows possible gas cloud lingering above.

[451] Oh, whoa.

[452] Yeah, and it's still leaking like crazy.

[453] And I'm like, what the fuck?

[454] That's the gas?

[455] Yeah, that's what the special cameras see.

[456] That's going on now.

[457] They had a big meeting last night.

[458] And they said 700 families have moved out on their own.

[459] Like the government didn't tell them to, they were like, fuck it.

[460] We don't trust you guys.

[461] We're moving out.

[462] Well, good for them.

[463] The government is the last person you should ever listen to.

[464] They're very close to here.

[465] That's only like five or six miles from there.

[466] Because I'm like, that gas can't be just going to Porter Ranch.

[467] It's not like it knows.

[468] It's probably going right to Jamie's head.

[469] Yeah, this is fucked.

[470] But the government is all about trying to minimize the impact on the economy in these areas.

[471] Right, right.

[472] So if people are breathing and they're not dropping dead on the spot.

[473] Capitalism wins.

[474] What is this lady doing with a mask on and sunglasses?

[475] That bitch is the one who leased.

[476] She let the gas out herself.

[477] Oh, yeah, maybe she did it.

[478] Yeah.

[479] So she's like a bad guy that shows up at the scene of the crime.

[480] Look at her.

[481] I don't know how this gas got out, but we got to get out of here.

[482] I mean, well, she's got a monkey wrencher her back pocket.

[483] Unscrewing the gas.

[484] Gas leak controversy at Porter Ranch.

[485] Yeah.

[486] Yeah.

[487] That's not good.

[488] No. You know what else?

[489] It was something I wanted to talk about today because it was so fucking ridiculous.

[490] I tweeted it earlier today.

[491] There's this man who's a 52 -year -old father who identifies as a six -year -old girl.

[492] Uh -huh.

[493] And it's hilarious because I tweeted it, and it's his story about this, he's Canadian, and this guy who identifies as a six -year -old girl.

[494] Okay.

[495] And, like, this is his thing.

[496] So he dresses up like a six -year -old and acts like a six -year -old.

[497] Yes, that's what he identifies as.

[498] Weird.

[499] And this sort of, you know, people don't want to admit this.

[500] But this sort of is what's going on with a lot of folks when it comes to this whole transgender thing.

[501] The idea that you identify with something, like being normal and healthy and this is the extreme of that.

[502] Right now, you cannot look at that and not think that guy is out of his fucking mind.

[503] But when I tweeted it, then I watched all the other people that are commenting on and online.

[504] And there's people that are very supportive of the transgender community and very supportive of transgender rights.

[505] And they've hit this wall of ridiculousness.

[506] Like how do you respond to this now?

[507] Do you say, okay, that's enough.

[508] Well, if that's enough, is that enough?

[509] Well, what do we do about Bruce Jenner?

[510] Right.

[511] What do you know, what do you say about this guy?

[512] What do you say about that guy who wants to be a woman?

[513] Or this guy who thinks he's a fox?

[514] Or this guy who, you know, I'm a raccoon kin.

[515] I mean, people are out of their fucking mind.

[516] And that's something we're going to have to come to grips with in this, this, This thing that we're doing, we're trying to be progressive, and we're trying to be as open -minded and accepting of diversity as possible, you're going to deal with this.

[517] I think this is awesome.

[518] I think you should go back to kindergarten this guy.

[519] He's just to see what happens.

[520] That is kindergarten.

[521] Six is his first grade?

[522] Yeah.

[523] Yeah.

[524] I went on with a girl once.

[525] Uh -oh.

[526] How old?

[527] How old was this girl?

[528] How old were you?

[529] You fuck?

[530] No, she was like 25, 26.

[531] That's a woman, I have you know.

[532] So I went out with her, but I think she had, we went on with her.

[533] time we know for like a few weeks we dated but she had maybe more uh i think she had split personality disorder why's that because sometimes she was completely normal and then sometimes she it was like she had no vocabulary and would speak in broken english and like i would just be talking about something and be like yeah i saw this thing on cnn and then she'd go what's cnn i'm like, well, you have to know what CNN is.

[534] You know, you don't, you're, you grew up in New York City and you don't know what CNN is.

[535] And then another point, like, uh, we were talking about the New York Jets game.

[536] And she's like, what are the Jets?

[537] And I'm like, how do you, you, you grow up here in New York.

[538] How do you not know, even if you don't watch football, you know, you're going to see an ad that's, you know, on a bus that's driving by or something.

[539] Did you have sex with this girl?

[540] No, I didn't.

[541] I didn't.

[542] Good for you.

[543] And, and, so, so at some, and then at some point, we were sitting in my car.

[544] And she's talking normal, like Queen's accent, and then she starts talking all of a sudden, like, in like broken English, like, hi, how are you?

[545] Oh, okay.

[546] And I'm like, what, you know, and then for a second she goes, come on, get it together, get it together.

[547] I'm like.

[548] She said that to herself.

[549] Yeah, yeah, to herself.

[550] You know, you know, she's like talking to herself.

[551] Oh, well, she's crazy.

[552] Yeah, yeah.

[553] And then, and then she wanted to make a commitment, like, like, like, let's get serious.

[554] About what?

[555] About dating, like being a couple.

[556] But she wanted, but she had something, but she said to me, she had something really serious.

[557] She needs to tell me. me, but she can't say it until after I, you know, say to her that I want to be in a committed relationship with her, just the two of us.

[558] Oh, okay.

[559] So I'm like, no, that's the kind of shit you put out before.

[560] You know.

[561] She's got her own rules, man. So I noticed, like, when she would start changing her voice talking about broken English, it was almost like her vocabulary got worse, too.

[562] So I actually think she had split personality disorder, where one was like, she was like a little girl.

[563] Was she hot?

[564] Yeah, she's very good looking.

[565] She hung out with her.

[566] Fuck it.

[567] Who cares?

[568] Yeah, but didn't worry about, but good girl.

[569] Yeah, but interesting.

[570] Yeah, there's people whose brains don't work so good.

[571] Just like some people have club foot.

[572] Right.

[573] Some people have shitty brains.

[574] Right, club brain.

[575] Yeah, for sure.

[576] Cleft palate.

[577] Yeah.

[578] Fucked up brain.

[579] Yeah.

[580] It's just, you know, defects.

[581] Dude, I love here.

[582] I just want to say I love the American Werewolf in London, werewolf he got out there.

[583] Pretty dope, huh?

[584] Yeah.

[585] That was a great movie.

[586] Shout out to Pat McGee.

[587] The guy named Pat McGee does special effects for films, yeah, makeup stuff.

[588] That's an incredible job.

[589] Yeah, as a mold, he makes them for, anybody who wants one can get one.

[590] Really?

[591] Yeah, he does a Yeti, too.

[592] He has a big giant Yeti.

[593] Oh, cool.

[594] And he does the alien from me. I'm going to look him up, because that's really good.

[595] Yeah, he's really good.

[596] And that was a great movie.

[597] Well, he's one of those guys that believes in makeup special effects as opposed to CGI.

[598] I did that.

[599] I was into that when I was a little kid.

[600] Me too.

[601] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[602] I was into Rick Baker.

[603] Yeah, I wanted to do that for the movies.

[604] Like, after I saw Star Wars, like the canina, the catina scene.

[605] Yeah, yeah.

[606] Cantina?

[607] Cantina.

[608] Cantina, yeah.

[609] I remember thinking, wow, like, that was all a bunch of masks.

[610] But meanwhile, if you watch that today, it looks so stupid.

[611] The masks are so obviously masks.

[612] They don't move.

[613] They're just rubber, frozen.

[614] But that scene, like, blew people away.

[615] Well, the movie did.

[616] The special effects were incredible.

[617] I still love that movie.

[618] I think the spaceship stuff is still great in that movie.

[619] Oh, it's fucking terrible.

[620] Watch it again.

[621] Okay.

[622] I don't know.

[623] I guess I can't see it.

[624] Because when I watch it, I just love it.

[625] Well, you know what I watched this morning?

[626] I watched it with my kid.

[627] I watched the Planet of the Apes from 2001 with Marky Mark.

[628] Yeah, I didn't like that one.

[629] It was terrible.

[630] Yeah, I didn't like that at all.

[631] But I was watching the special effects.

[632] I'm like, wow, just 14 years ago, special effects looked like shit.

[633] Yeah.

[634] They look so fake.

[635] But at the time, we're like, whoa, cool.

[636] That's finally they got it.

[637] He's in space for sure.

[638] Yeah.

[639] Yeah.

[640] You know, that suspension of disbelief was, uh, yeah.

[641] But now, I mean, like, you know, interstellar or something like that.

[642] It's like, wow.

[643] They've got it.

[644] it i don't know sometimes when i see stuff now i still like the the superhero movies it'll be like okay here's robert downy junior talking to mark ruffalo and then they put on their superhero costumes and then it's like watching a cartoon right it's like i never feel like it's robert downy junior in that suit when he's flying around and punching shit yeah that's why they have to do the cutaway to his face with all the lights on it because he's got the mask on so i still i just i kind of lose believability with that stuff I sat down with my kids the other day, and we watched King Kong, the 1933 version of King Kong.

[645] Oh, my God.

[646] Yeah.

[647] It's a great movie.

[648] It's incredible to watch what a difference movies are, like what difference it is between a 1933 movie and a 2015 movie.

[649] I even like the 1976 one with Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lang.

[650] Well, we watched the 2005 version as well.

[651] I went back to back from the 33 to the 2005.

[652] I just showed them the King Kong scenes just so they could see the difference.

[653] Right, right.

[654] Oh, that's so cool.

[655] You're educating them in special effects.

[656] Well, yeah.

[657] Well, we were watching...

[658] This is what it was.

[659] You know, I have a TV in my car.

[660] Uh -huh.

[661] Excuse me. And we were watching Monsters Inc. And Monster Zinks, there was a place that were going called Harry Housins.

[662] Uh -huh.

[663] And Harry Housen is Ray Harry Housen, who is a famous special effects guy.

[664] It was like a shout -out in the movie to Ray Harryhousen, because obviously Monster Zink was an animated movie.

[665] Right.

[666] And so I was explaining to them who Ray Horsonohs.

[667] Harryhausen was.

[668] And I said, well, I'm going to show you guys some old school animation so you get a chance to look at it.

[669] So I played them King Kong and they were fucking howling laughing.

[670] They thought it was so stupid.

[671] They were like, oh my God, like there it is.

[672] But see, you got to get a video of it.

[673] See if you pull a video of the first time that King Kong sees Faye Ray Ray.

[674] Harryhaus was the king was the king of stop motion animation.

[675] Yeah.

[676] And yeah, he did King Kong.

[677] He did some of those Sinbad movies, and, uh, it was so bad.

[678] He actually did the, I think one of the last ones, or last one he did was Clash of the Titans in, like, 1981.

[679] Look how stupid it looks.

[680] Yeah, it's got the strobing.

[681] And it's obvious that they're not in the same plane, you know, like him and her, they're not in the same place.

[682] Like, and then they had the head.

[683] There was the big head that wasn't the same thing.

[684] It wasn't, right.

[685] Claymation, animation.

[686] It was like a big mechanized face where the mouth opened and shut.

[687] And then they went to this thing.

[688] Like, look.

[689] how fake it looks I don't know I just sort of ignored and I still get into it look at the lighting though look how good the lighting is man well for 1933 this was amazing like people couldn't believe it like see they would go to this this was the machine that the mouth would just open and close and then Faye Ray who was screaming and yelling and even the style of acting they did was so different the way they talked then well what kind of a film are we gonna make here you know it was like the opposite of a lot of acting you see in like American Indie films now we're almost like people have no energy and it's like they have no acting they're just everyone's just walking around with a blank face yeah you know here they they really over did it they put a lot of energy into it well i think that was reminiscent or it was a an after effect rather of doing things on stage with no film with no microphones ah interesting because when they when they used to have no microphones you used to have to project right so you would have to talk like that right to the back of the room could hear you right and be more physical with your motions And so 1933, you got to think, well, they've only been doing movies for like a couple decades back then.

[690] Especially movies where people got to talk.

[691] Not even.

[692] Not even, really.

[693] When was the first silent movie?

[694] I think of the teens.

[695] I think in the teens.

[696] I think it was the 1800s.

[697] Really?

[698] Yeah, I feel like 1800 was the first silent movie.

[699] But talkies came in the 20s, I think, or the teens.

[700] Something like that, yeah.

[701] So 1933, it was all really, really new.

[702] Well, here we go.

[703] 1891.

[704] Wow.

[705] until 1927 when the first talkie was so that's incredible so you talk about six years six six years of talkies before king con came out yeah so they really didn't have it down i mean that's like a 2011 movie i mean think about that yeah wouldn't that be cool i think it would be so cool to go back in time and to try to be like an actor in those times and like you know being the silent movies and then crush it and then get in talkies i mean it was just you would know so much you would go back in time I mean, they would think of you as just like this wise genius.

[706] Oh, I didn't think of it that way.

[707] I thought about actually just living back then, like if you were born back then.

[708] Well, people...

[709] I wonder how much of a representation, how accurate the representation of people were in those films as to like what they were really like in real life.

[710] Oh, yeah.

[711] No idea.

[712] Because it's hard when you see people talking like that.

[713] Say, mister, who are you?

[714] You know, you don't get a sense of what they really were like.

[715] Yeah, that's interesting.

[716] They might have been...

[717] I think they were pretty savage.

[718] Yeah, I don't know.

[719] I don't know.

[720] I think if you look at, there's a bunch of stuff that happens in those movies that you don't see today, like in movies, or you definitely don't see on television shows.

[721] First of all, like, domestic abuse.

[722] Oh, yeah.

[723] Men just smack the fuck out of women all the time in those movies.

[724] Even in, like, the original movie Footloose, there are scenes where the main girl is getting the shit kicked out of her boyfriend.

[725] Yeah, and even today, if that was happening, they wouldn't actually show.

[726] show it, you know what I mean?

[727] Maybe, but it wouldn't be, like, footloose.

[728] It wouldn't even be in the, right, it wouldn't even be in the story.

[729] Right, right, right, right.

[730] Yeah, it's, um, it's interesting because I think when you look at something from like 1933, even though I don't think that's exactly how they behaved, it gives you a window into the culture.

[731] Oh, yeah.

[732] Bizarre view of people from a completely different era.

[733] Yeah.

[734] I mean, watch Gone with the Wind and you'll be like, wow, this is like the most racist movies ever made.

[735] So fucking racist.

[736] It's like, oh my God.

[737] Yeah, there's a little.

[738] A lot of those.

[739] How are people not talking about this?

[740] You know what else is racist as fuck, man?

[741] Peter Pan.

[742] Really?

[743] Yeah, Peter Pan, the original Peter Pan cartoon, I was playing it for my kids.

[744] And we were like, whoa, like, about Native Americans.

[745] Oh, yeah.

[746] I've seen some of those cartoons.

[747] Oh, my God.

[748] It's angering and embarrassing.

[749] You know, it's like, you're like, wow.

[750] Yeah.

[751] And that was the normal shit that everybody saw.

[752] The old Popeyes are great.

[753] I've been watching Those are great cartoons They are great Especially the black and white ones Those are like But they're so violent Violent as hell And Blue Lowe is always Trying to rape olive oil Yeah like literally like raper Yeah Like kidnapper Yep And rape Yeah They don't show his hips thrusting But apparently Everything else is in there Like he's grabbing her And she's screaming He's pulling her away Yeah Yeah It doesn't even talk He just grunts and shit Yeah Yeah, but the violence is so prevalent.

[754] It's like, Jesus Christ, cartoons were all about violence back then.

[755] And they were great.

[756] Well, the weird thing is you can still watch them, but you could never make them.

[757] Like, you could still watch Warner Brothers cartoons.

[758] You could still watch Wiley Coyote and Bugs Bunny, but you could never make a cartoon like that.

[759] Today and put it on television?

[760] I mean, it would have to be a niche market, I guess, you know.

[761] Well, it wouldn't be for children.

[762] No, no, no, not for kids.

[763] But isn't that amazing?

[764] That was what we grew up with.

[765] Well, look at it out, like, some schools, you know, they're not supposed to play dodgeball anymore.

[766] It's like, it's too dangerous.

[767] Well, we're becoming pussies.

[768] They're giving kids participation trophies.

[769] The fuck is that.

[770] You know, it sucks to lose, okay?

[771] That's how you get better.

[772] Yeah.

[773] You can't keep your kid from bad feelings.

[774] And the lower income kids who grow up lower income, they don't have that issue because they're like, you know, they're still barefoot and it'll be a five -year -old kid riding an adult 10 speed, you know, with no helmet on.

[775] You know, it's like, that's like, like, when I lived way out in Queens, you'd see that shit all the time, you know, like, you know, Latino kid just, you know, literally like four years old.

[776] He's on a 10 speed, no shoes, just cruising down the fucking street.

[777] Where's his parents?

[778] Yeah, you don't see them anywhere.

[779] Yeah, just let that kid out the door.

[780] He's fine.

[781] Jesus, most of them come back alive.

[782] Yeah.

[783] It's just about numbers.

[784] Yeah, and he was good, you know.

[785] You know, that'd be like an adult riding like a 10 -foot bicycle.

[786] Well, New York is interesting in that way that you get to see so many different styles of parenting.

[787] and so many different styles of just living, all jammed into one area, stacked on top of each other, different boroughs, but all in the sort of same central location.

[788] Yeah, it's not as diverse as it used to be.

[789] It's really becoming a boring kind of city.

[790] Really?

[791] Yeah.

[792] What's happening?

[793] Well, I deal with that some of my book here where it's like you go to, like, one block will literally have, there's a CVS, right next to a right aid, and then a block away, there's a Walgreens.

[794] And then there's, like, five banks, like, on that block.

[795] And it's like, that's all there is, you know.

[796] And it's like, it's like, it's like turning that way, like, everywhere.

[797] It's like it's become such a wealthy city.

[798] It's, it's just become, it's become boring.

[799] You know, like even, you know, like, some, you know, like when I look at L .A. now and New York, L .A. to me, seems in many ways more diverse than New York does.

[800] Really?

[801] Because, you know, I think an apartment in L .A. is probably half, you know, 50 % cheaper than what it is in New York, if not more.

[802] Oh, okay.

[803] So it's just sort of priced everybody out.

[804] Yeah, it's classism, basically.

[805] So it's like the only people, I know doctors in New York City who live in Jersey because they can't afford to live in New York City.

[806] Whoa.

[807] You know, so it's like, it's because the finance people make more money than anybody.

[808] Right.

[809] You know.

[810] Isn't that funny?

[811] Yeah.

[812] All they do is moving numbers around.

[813] I know.

[814] I steal them up.

[815] Because I finally steal the numbers.

[816] Because I was always like, what do these guys do?

[817] And then I finally realized that they make money.

[818] Like you do comedy and then people come to the show and you get paid.

[819] Like that's the service you provide.

[820] But those finance guys, they make money.

[821] That's all they do.

[822] They don't do anything.

[823] They just find a way to make more money.

[824] That's all they do.

[825] Well, they don't even make it.

[826] No, yeah, they don't physically make it.

[827] Yeah, they move it around.

[828] They move it around but take some from themselves.

[829] Yeah.

[830] Giant chunks of it.

[831] Yeah.

[832] We made a big deal today.

[833] What did you do?

[834] You moved it?

[835] of ones and zeros for non -physical place to another non -physical place.

[836] Yeah.

[837] It's crazy.

[838] But they make all the fucking money.

[839] And a lot of them are fucking barbarians.

[840] I used to work out with a lot of these guys that became stock market guys.

[841] They became stockbrokers back in Boston.

[842] And they were fucking animals.

[843] They were savages.

[844] And then I ran into one of them and he was wearing a suit and tie and he looked great.

[845] And I was like, what are you doing?

[846] What the fuck?

[847] He goes, hey, I'm stockbroker.

[848] And he was just making all this money in the stock market and just doing coke and punching people and yeah that's it's a crazy business i mean there's like no morals at all in that business and no and a lot of the shit they do i think is illegal in other countries you know well it should be i mean look at what the the infamous market crash of 2008 i mean what was that all about yeah nobody got prosecuted yeah yeah i mean it's kind of crazy if if you look at i mean how much of the same laws are still in place that allowed them to do that yeah and allowed them to set up the the whole subprime mortgage loan crisis thing it's like when you look at what that actually was this is like a gigantic pump and dump scheme yeah yeah but for the whole country yeah it's it's this crazy that no one went to jail no one well that's another thing we're both parties you know both parties are they're they're not that different you know they get marketed as they're so different but they're really not that different you know they they basically work for whoever has the most money.

[849] I think socially they're different.

[850] Social, that's the only area they're different.

[851] But financially, most of them are just corrupt feeding the same shit.

[852] You know, they don't work for people.

[853] They work for mega corporations that have billions and billions and billions.

[854] Well, that's the only way you can get into the White House unless you're a Donald Trump guy.

[855] Yeah.

[856] Unless you have your own money where you can finance your own campaign.

[857] I don't even think he is enough money to do it.

[858] I don't even think he does.

[859] Really?

[860] I don't think so.

[861] I think that.

[862] I think the money that you're talking from these corporations is much more than he can have as an individual, you know.

[863] And I think most, I think the biggest reason that he's been able to get his message out so much is how much free press he gets.

[864] Right.

[865] You know, it's good point.

[866] It's like the news is always taking, oh, I don't know, how does he keep getting, how does he keep being ahead?

[867] I'm like, you're all he fucking shows.

[868] It's like he's getting hours of free advertisement every fucking.

[869] day.

[870] I've never seen a political campaign where they actually go, breaking news, Trump's giving a speech in Iowa, and then they just show the whole fucking speech for an hour.

[871] Yeah, well, they're hoping he says something wacky about Muslims.

[872] And that's never happened before where they actually just show an entire campaign speech, you know, and then like, wow, I wonder why the other Republicans don't have that much votes, because you don't, you don't even fucking show 30 seconds of their campaign speech.

[873] To me, it seems like and I don't, I try not to watch this stuff too much.

[874] until it, like, gets down to the last couple of months of the campaign.

[875] Right.

[876] But it feels like that what Donald Trump's doing is sprinting.

[877] Like, there's a marathon going on, and he just came out of the gate running as fast as he can.

[878] And, like, he's winning.

[879] Like, but you can't keep that up.

[880] Yeah.

[881] You can't keep that up.

[882] And his, the way he's talking, it's almost like he's trolling.

[883] Like, when he said he wants to ban Muslims coming into America, I'm like, what are you talking about, man?

[884] You can't, what?

[885] You're going to ban Muslims.

[886] All of them?

[887] Yeah.

[888] Just, you can't have a religion.

[889] Because what, wait a minute, what percentage of the people we're talking about that are blowing things up and shooting people?

[890] Yeah.

[891] Is it even one one hundredth of one percent?

[892] Probably not.

[893] No, it's not even.

[894] Probably not.

[895] Like, but you're going to ban all the Muslims that are coming going to?

[896] What the fuck?

[897] Yeah.

[898] And then he did a speech about it.

[899] They asked him.

[900] And he goes, well, what I'm talking about wouldn't even have to be for that long.

[901] Like, what are he talking about?

[902] Like, he goes, just until we figure out what the hell is going on.

[903] Like, he's just speaking in these sort of vague.

[904] terms it's like I feel like he's trolling I don't feel like he's a real serious candidate yeah you almost hope it's like in six months he's gonna not he's gonna withdraw and just say the entire thing was like some kind of bizarre performance art thing you know just just making fun of our entire media a big walking Phoenix sort of thing political you know arena you know it's just because yeah the news media is just you know I mean I don't like them I think they're fucking horrendous period you know what they are as a business.

[905] That's what I'm saying.

[906] And those people don't realize, yeah.

[907] They're an entertainment business.

[908] Yeah.

[909] And that's what's entertaining.

[910] A guy like Donald Trump is entertaining.

[911] Right.

[912] But they should be labeled.

[913] Yeah.

[914] They shouldn't be allowed to be called news.

[915] You're right.

[916] And I think that happened to Fox News in Canada.

[917] Really?

[918] I think they were not allowed to be broadcast in Canada unless they were called, labeled as entertainment and not news.

[919] What?

[920] Really?

[921] Yeah.

[922] I think so.

[923] That's just because someone told me that recently.

[924] The girls, what they have on that show?

[925] They're too distracting.

[926] Oh, okay.

[927] Too many she demons.

[928] But I think that should be the way with, you know, 90 % of the news, you know, because it's just, you know, it's not about giving you real news.

[929] It's about getting viewers.

[930] Yeah.

[931] I mean, there's a lot of really interesting things that are going on in the world.

[932] They're not going to cover it because it's not going to, it's not going to attach to your reptilian brain.

[933] Yeah.

[934] It's not going to, your mind is not going to.

[935] Just like when things are slower, you know, if there's some missing, uh, eight -year -old white girl you know that'll be the that'll be the new story for two years yeah i mean how many brown kids get killed every day yeah yeah one yeah little cute white girl with pigtails gets scooped up in a van they're finally doing that a little bit less now but for you know decades that was the main news thrust it works yeah that's a thing i mean this donald trump thing it fucking works you have that kind on tv you're gonna get people to pay attention yeah it's sad it's sad but it's it is what it is yeah it is you know it's it is you But I think today, it's sort of open the door for all these alternative news sources.

[936] Yeah, if you want to get real news, you really have to put effort in.

[937] It's not going to just show up on your television.

[938] Well, the Internet is a fantastic resource now because you can get all sorts of unbiased perspectives and perspectives from all these different sides.

[939] You can also get misinformation, so you've got to be careful.

[940] But there's a lot of stuff you can get all over the world.

[941] You can go online and watch news from other countries and see how they report.

[942] One of the cool things about New York, though, as opposed to L .A. is at New York.

[943] is not a showbiz -based city.

[944] Correct.

[945] Yeah.

[946] It's more diverse that way.

[947] But I tell you, more and more and more, it just feels like a finance city.

[948] I keep hearing that, man. We had Giuliani for eight years, and then we had Bloomberg for 12.

[949] Now, legally, you're only allowed to be a mayor for eight maximum.

[950] And then Bloomberg was like, well, I want to change things.

[951] And so they did a new vote.

[952] and it was just amongst, I think, other politicians, and he got voted to be allowed to go a third term.

[953] That's hilarious.

[954] Why can Obama do that?

[955] Yeah, I don't know.

[956] But, yeah, Bloomberg did it.

[957] And Bloomberg was interesting because, you know, he's a Republican and very conservative on some issues, you know, especially financially.

[958] But then on some other issues, he wasn't.

[959] So, you know, he was good and bad.

[960] And Giuliani did good and bad things, too.

[961] You know, I mean, for the arts, Giuliani was horrendous.

[962] Was he?

[963] He was closing down.

[964] They found a loophole from the, some law from the 1800s about how you can't have dancing.

[965] You have to have a dancing.

[966] You have to have a cabaret license if anyone's going to dance at a bar.

[967] So if a couple of people just, if you wanted to put on, if there's a bar and they have an extra room and you want to put on a comedy show or something and someone's dancing in a sketch comedy show and someone's dancing in a skit, they can shut you down.

[968] Yeah.

[969] So he started acting long.

[970] like that.

[971] So he started, he started actually enforcing them?

[972] He started they started enforcing that.

[973] Yeah, yeah.

[974] Wow.

[975] Yeah.

[976] What was the purpose behind that?

[977] Like, why did he, why did he want to do that?

[978] What was his motivation?

[979] I don't know, but you know, he also closed a lot of the strip clubs.

[980] He enacted this, I think it was either the 6040 law or the 4060 law.

[981] And for a while there was a comedy club that was, so basically if you had a strip club, he changed the laws so that now only 40 % of your place can be a strip club 60 % has to be another business that was a lot of yeah that was a lot of so so wait a minute yeah what does that mean like you could sell hats yeah yeah or you know you just you just have uh like i remember for a while when they closed some of the porno theaters in times square this is these are places that go back pre -internet you know where you actually go to a movie theater to watch a porno because that used to be the only place you can fucking watch one and it's just you know a bunch of depressed guys you know jerking off or waiting to jerk off you know and uh So I went to one of those After they had closed the porn And it was a short period I think it was only like a few months or something And they were showing So they were just showing like old John Wayne movies and shit What?

[982] So and there were still just like 30 guys in there Just you know most of these are guys on edge This is like 20 years ago Guys on edge and like homeless guys just sitting there It was it was maybe the most depressing thing I had seen where I think guys were thinking They were still like I was wondering Like do they think they're still gonna show the pornos?

[983] because it says it's a John Wayne movie or are they just like are they just holding on hopefully that like maybe they'll sneak a porno in there or something but it was one of the most depressing things I had seen but yeah so they had this 6040 law and I remember there was a comedy club for a while that was in one of them I can't remember what was called Stringfellows or another one it was on around 21st Street and Broadway which is you know a business and residential area it's not like a area where there's just tons of porn So you have like, you know, expensive apartments and other business stuff.

[984] And then, oh, here's a porno place.

[985] And, I mean, a strip club, you know.

[986] And so basically, 60 % of it became a comedy club.

[987] And but they still had strippers working there.

[988] And it was such a weird feeling.

[989] But it was, I'd never felt more safe at a comedy club because they still had all the bouncers from the strip club there.

[990] So it's all these guys in, like, tuxedos, these huge dudes in tuxedos.

[991] And the stage was, like, really high, you know, so that, because it's designed to be looking up at strippers.

[992] And people can't grab you.

[993] Yeah, yeah.

[994] So, and then downstairs were lockers where the strippers were, like, changing in shit.

[995] So you'd be, like, seeing them down there.

[996] How bizarre.

[997] Yeah.

[998] And then you just go through, like, a little swivel door, and then you're in the strip club.

[999] But that didn't last too long, but they had to do that for a while because they had to, they acted these new laws and they had to do something.

[1000] That is so strange.

[1001] So this is a new law, or was an old law?

[1002] No, this was when Giuliani, I think the 60 -40 was a new law that he enacted.

[1003] But what, that doesn't even make any sense.

[1004] But is it 60 % in terms of revenue or is in terms of physical space?

[1005] I think it's physical space.

[1006] Here it is right here.

[1007] A legacy of the Giuliani area in New York.

[1008] Yeah, 60 -40 rule forces any adult business to devote more than 40 % of its square footage to adult entertainment.

[1009] No more than 40 % to adult entertainment.

[1010] entertainment, meaning the strip clubs must fill the other 60 % with non -adult business endeavors.

[1011] This is why the Penn House Executive Club has Robert Steakhouse and New York Dolls has a bikini bar front lounge.

[1012] What an asshole.

[1013] What an asshole to think that he can enforce that.

[1014] Most of them just fucking went out of business.

[1015] They're gone.

[1016] They're just gone.

[1017] You know.

[1018] What a shit rule.

[1019] But I remember going to New York in like 81 and it was so cool.

[1020] You would see cats, you know, the big Broadway show catch and then right next to it the sperminator and it was just like i love i just love that that variety you know that dichotomy of seeing you know the grunggious shit next to the highest end shit you know and it was just it was exciting you know but now it's just it's just corporate corporate corporate corporate corporate well chain chain chain chain yeah but it almost it's almost like like time squares now all just chain places but now that's becoming you just see it spreading throughout the whole city really yeah like i like i like i over here college kids you know and they're they're excited they're like oh yeah my dorm's so great because there's a panera bread uh right next to it and uh and there's a quiz nose uh you know right nearby and i'm just like what the fuck you know it's like it's hard to even get a good slice of pizza in new york anymore really because uh much harder two things happened um 60 40 no not the 60 40 percent porn yeah that would be cool your business has to be 40 You have to have 40 % tits.

[1021] So what happened with the pizza is, well, first of all, Manhattan and half of Brooklyn, hardly any of the people that live there are actually from New York anymore.

[1022] So you don't even like, you don't have people moving from the suburbs, so they don't really know good pizza.

[1023] So they're not really New Yorkers.

[1024] They're just kind of living there because they're making a lot of money now.

[1025] Yeah.

[1026] So instead of like, you know how L .A. is very transient.

[1027] Everyone, like, I was voted most beautiful in high school, so I'm going to go to L .A. and try to become an actor or an actress.

[1028] You know, well, New York is now, I got good grades in school, and my dad works for this firm, and that firm hired me in New York, so that's why I'm in New York, you know.

[1029] So it's changed a lot.

[1030] Like almost every girl I've gone out with in the past seven, eight years is either finance or a corporate lawyer or something like that, because that's who you meet.

[1031] You know, it's like, I don't meet anyone.

[1032] Like here in L .A., everyone I meet is doing something in R .A. or entertainment or trying to, you know.

[1033] And in New York, it's, that happens maybe five, 10 percent of the time.

[1034] How bizarre.

[1035] So it's just a gigantic financial city now in a lot of ways.

[1036] Yeah, and that's what Bloomberg wanted because that's his background and his goal was to make it the financial center of the world.

[1037] And I think he kind of did, you know, because when I first started doing comedy in New York in the late 80s and early 90s, you know, because I moved to New York There was always, you know, the Wall Street guys, you know, and but that was down in one area in Wall Street and now that it, that business is throughout the whole city, you know, so it's, it's, it's grown and, uh, it's gonna be hard to reverse.

[1038] Yeah, I, I don't, you can, you can, you can sort of gentrify an area.

[1039] Yeah.

[1040] But taking an area and making it like more local and independent.

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] And, and getting like, like, artists and stuff and good luck yeah because i think even i remember even years ago comics and you know you know and some people might say oh this is sex whatever but you know i think it's just guy locker room talk but to have arguments who's got hotter chicks new york or l .a i remember that's definitely sexist yeah and we don't allow that on this show yeah because you can't talk about feelings yeah so anyways so i mean so i mean so you know comics we used to you know you travel around you yeah so you always have the argument who's got the hotter chicks new york and la and some and some Canon is very hot, very hot -ching.

[1043] So they, so, like, it used to be like, it was always close, you know, and then some guys would always agree with L .A., some guys would say New York.

[1044] And now, I think if you would have to place the vote, I think L .A. would win easily, you know, because New York, you don't see the variety of, like, you used to see women from, you know, all over the world.

[1045] So, you know, everyone on the planet, you'd see women.

[1046] You know, it was beautiful women from everywhere.

[1047] And it was just, you know, see this variety anywhere but in new york you would see it now you don't see it that much and you know you don't even see a lot of interesting fashion walking around the streets of new york used to always see that you know because if everyone's working in finance that's you know that's not the most fashionable group of people you know what seems like the worst when you in terms of like artistic people in terms of like creative people yeah like if that's going to take over that's going to be the worst for that being for hotness you mean no I mean for having diversity for having oh yeah yeah for having artistic people like that like there's a lot of industries that could move in where things could be kind of cool like if the tech right just moves in right like san francisco is a good example right a lot of money in san francisco and a lot of people are complaining but a lot of weird cool shit is there too still right right right like a lot of freaky people it's interesting a lot of the people in tech are unique and odd and eccentric right you're not getting that in finance you're not getting the creative types no no no and you often when you meet them you know and a lot of them are nice too you know that they usually kind of heckle themselves you know say they're boring they work a job or whatever you know but what are the clubs like now well the clubs are doing well because you have a you know the city since it's gotten safer uh the tourism is up you know and is it a lot safer oh much safer than it was 20 years ago much much safer yeah it's you know it's you know it's there's not much crime there, there just isn't.

[1048] That's incredible.

[1049] Yeah, you know, because, I mean, if every, if one -bedroom apartments are anywhere from $500 ,000 to $1 .5 million, and that's a one -bedroom that's probably 70 % smaller than a one -bedroom in L .A. It's like, like, you know, a new one -bedroom in the village in New York will be well over a million dollars.

[1050] Yeah, we, we talked about, my wife and I thought about getting a place here at one point in time we're like maybe we should move to new york maybe it'd be a good thing maybe we'd try something different we're looking at apartments that were at three bedroom for five million bucks yeah it's insane yeah that's great it's an apartment you can buy two houses in the hollywood hills for that yeah it's it's a fucking apartment so you don't even have a yard you don't even have a parking spot yeah and also those apartments unlike if you buy a house they have the building monthly maintenance fees oh yeah which can be easily you know two to three grand a month and that's it's just going off the window.

[1051] Yeah.

[1052] So it's like owning and renting at the same time.

[1053] You're right.

[1054] Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

[1055] It's like, so like for years, I've been thinking about buying a place, and then I'll look for a few months, then I'll get frustrated, I'll quit.

[1056] And then the next - Why do you want to stay there?

[1057] I don't know.

[1058] I think for, well, you know, my folks and my brother, they're in Maryland and D .C., so I kind of want to be close to them.

[1059] And I, you know, every time I come to L .A., I always, because I lived out here for a couple years in the early 2000s, I keep thinking, oh, maybe I should just move here, you know, so I just, I don't know where, I'm at the point in my career, like, I don't know where I want to live, you know, I was funny, even Anthony Bourdain, who's like this long -term New Yorker, and who's like, you know, kind of like, when I think of New York, I think of guys like him.

[1060] Sure, yeah.

[1061] He was telling me that he had thought about it many times about living in L .A. Yeah.

[1062] I'm like, really.

[1063] It's like, people are recognizing that there's like a weird shift that's going on.

[1064] Yeah, well, people, I remember, you know, 15, 20 years ago, the big thing There's always been this sort of love, hate with L .A. and New York.

[1065] You know, I always noticed, like, it seems like there's always L .A. comics seem to have a little bit of a fear towards New York comics a little bit, or a little bit sort of, like, respect.

[1066] I've always known, even with, even with, even with, even with actors, you even notice, oh, a New York actor.

[1067] I mean, that means they know stage.

[1068] And then even with L .A., it's like, oh, those New York guys are, they're getting on six, seven times a night.

[1069] They're just in New York because they just want comedy.

[1070] They're not interested in other stuff.

[1071] And I'm like, you guys are really exaggerating things a lot.

[1072] It's like, first of all, you can't be doing six and seven shows a night every fucking night.

[1073] It just, you know, once in a while you can do that, but you're going to go fucking crazy if you do that.

[1074] And then just geographically getting to all those spots on time is not fucking easy to do.

[1075] Yeah, unless you have Bill Bird, a helicopter, you're around the city.

[1076] Right, right.

[1077] So, and most comics just aren't doing that many.

[1078] You know, New York City does have more comedy clubs in L .A., but, um, you know, you know, And the city's also geographically smaller, so you can't get to them.

[1079] But if you're doing, let's say you do four shows in one night, you're probably going to be spending, just to get to those, you're going to need a cab.

[1080] So you're probably going to be spending, you know, $40 to $50 to $60 a night, and you're probably making $70.

[1081] Yeah, you know what I mean?

[1082] So it's like there's not that much.

[1083] So, you know, no, I also think now compared to when I lived here in the early.

[1084] 2000s.

[1085] The comedy scene in L .A. has grown.

[1086] I think it's very healthy here.

[1087] And I think it's much better.

[1088] The store is like rocking every night.

[1089] And they got...

[1090] It's on fire.

[1091] And they got three rooms, and they're all great fucking rooms with each, and each one has a different personality to it.

[1092] You know what's crazy?

[1093] This year is the first year the store has been profitable in like forever.

[1094] Wow.

[1095] I believe it.

[1096] This last year.

[1097] It's crazy.

[1098] I mean, Adam's done, you know, an amazing job there.

[1099] Oh, he's the best.

[1100] He's the best.

[1101] I'm I can love that guy.

[1102] It's so cool, having a guy who's, like, the talent coordinator, who's just a regular, like, he's my friend.

[1103] Like, I'd hang out with that guy.

[1104] It's very rare that anything like that ever happens.

[1105] He's the best.

[1106] He's the best.

[1107] But, you know, I mean, of the two cities in America, you know, L .A. and New York has the most comics and the best comics.

[1108] You know, where there's a really underrated scene?

[1109] Where?

[1110] Denver.

[1111] You know, a lot of good comics come out at Denver.

[1112] I believe that.

[1113] You know, Dan Soters from there.

[1114] And can't think of who else right now.

[1115] Curtis one woman right right she's the best yeah she's an animal that chick she's she's on that place forever she's been she started working there as a waitress of the comedy works that's awesome and then she established when she started taking over she established like a whole system like an open mic system right a system of taking people from uh open micers to making them mcs to making the middle acts making their headliners she's got like locally made headlines that's awesome like legit comics that go on and they go on the road and it's amazing well i think that that point you bring up is interesting because I think, you know, years ago, you know, there were, there were like a few main cities if you wanted to be different or do something entertainment.

[1116] There's pretty much Newark and L .A. And now it's like there's, or even if like, let's say, you know, if, you know, 40 years ago, if you wanted to be gay, you would move to one of the big cities.

[1117] Right.

[1118] You know, but now it's like every city has their gay communities.

[1119] Even like little town, you know, Buffalo has a big gay community.

[1120] Don't you think that's the internet is a big part of that?

[1121] People find each other.

[1122] Yeah, yeah, I do.

[1123] I do.

[1124] And I think just, but I think that, the fact that other places have gotten better is also another reason New York has gotten more generic.

[1125] Right.

[1126] Because if you're a freak, if you're a weirdo and outsider, people would be like, move to New York, move to the big city, get away from the small town.

[1127] Now you can find cool shit in your small town.

[1128] Right.

[1129] So you don't, so it's not attracting that as much as the interesting peoples it used to for that reason, which is great, you know.

[1130] But then the finance thing.

[1131] And then with everything being so expensive, I actually think there's, L .A. has a lot of interesting people moving to it and living in L .A. I think L .A. has a lot of cool shit going on in entertainment and an art, you know.

[1132] Yeah, I think so.

[1133] Stand -up comedy, I think it's the best place right now.

[1134] I think it's the best place as far as the amount of talent, the amount of like really high -level people there, and the amount of like really good clubs.

[1135] Yeah.

[1136] I think it's the best spot.

[1137] Yeah, I couldn't say which city's better.

[1138] They're both excellent.

[1139] New York still has more clubs, and...

[1140] They're a different kind of club, though.

[1141] They're smaller.

[1142] Oh, they're much smaller.

[1143] Smaller stage.

[1144] It's much smaller, much smaller.

[1145] That smaller stage also lends itself to a different style of comedy.

[1146] It does.

[1147] It does.

[1148] More personal, more like, where are you from, sir?

[1149] Less physical.

[1150] Less movement.

[1151] Yeah.

[1152] Small stages.

[1153] I like comics in general.

[1154] I mean, these are big generalizations, but in general, a little more physical.

[1155] Yeah.

[1156] So it's, you know, it's interesting.

[1157] I don't know.

[1158] But I think all three of the main clubs are doing quite well in L .A. Yeah.

[1159] No, they definitely are.

[1160] The Laugh Factory is not doing that good.

[1161] Oh, it isn't?

[1162] Okay.

[1163] Yeah, you can go to Laugh Factory on many a night and it's half -filled.

[1164] Really?

[1165] Interesting.

[1166] Because when I lived here in the early 2000s, that was like the happening club.

[1167] Yeah, it's dropped off.

[1168] And the Improv and the store were kind of struggling.

[1169] The store and the improv are killing it right now.

[1170] The improv has two clubs now.

[1171] I know.

[1172] I did their little room when I was here last month.

[1173] It was great.

[1174] Yeah, it's really cool how they've set that up.

[1175] That's a smart move the way they've done that.

[1176] That's how it used to be a long time ago.

[1177] Oh, really?

[1178] That's actually where Ari Shafir started off his powerful Arir Shafirot T -shirt.

[1179] I know, I saw that.

[1180] Ari Shafir started off his This Is Not Happening show.

[1181] Oh, I didn't know that.

[1182] Yeah, okay, cool.

[1183] He started off in the annex, which is like this little side room.

[1184] Right, right.

[1185] And he nurtured it.

[1186] Like, that show that he has on Comedy Central is a genuine hard work success story.

[1187] Yeah, yeah.

[1188] Because what Ari did is he had this concept, and his concept was, this will be a good way to generate new material.

[1189] if instead of being under the pressure of like punchline, punchline, punch line, doing in a stand -up sense, let's do something where you just tell stories.

[1190] Right.

[1191] Like here's a crazy fucked up story that happened to me. And out of that story, maybe there'll be some jokes.

[1192] Right, right.

[1193] Maybe there'll be some something that I could mine out of that.

[1194] That's cool.

[1195] That's cool.

[1196] And so he did that and then eventually went to do it on the web, did it on the web, and then eventually Comme Central picked it up, and now it's on its third season.

[1197] Right.

[1198] That's killing it.

[1199] That's awesome.

[1200] It's amazing.

[1201] Yeah.

[1202] It's beautiful.

[1203] and it's just a matter of like growing you know putting it together nurturing it grows nurturing it more it grows well that's the other thing just just being able to have space like l .A like new york there's no space here there's space you can you can grow exactly you know even if you look at podcasting I mean I'm not an expert on this but it seems to me that it started basically in L .A it's an L .A. kind of movement the podcasting if you look at the big podcasts for comedy yeah you know it's L .A. I remember like When I first started coming out here in like, like, probably like late 90s, early 2000s, it was weird.

[1204] It's like comics would come.

[1205] The story were like about New York comics.

[1206] They'd move out here and they basically just stopped doing comedy because it was too hard to get on, weren't enough places to get on.

[1207] And then before I know it, they're just going out every once in a while or every week, you know, getting drunk and doing karaoke.

[1208] That was like the thing.

[1209] Yeah.

[1210] It seemed like there was a lot of comics.

[1211] We're always going out doing karaoke.

[1212] Like when I first moved here, came out in the, like, who the fucking?

[1213] What are you hanging out with?

[1214] I don't know.

[1215] There's a lot of fucking comics that were doing that.

[1216] And I'm like, I'm like, no, I don't want to fucking do karaoke.

[1217] I want to do comedy.

[1218] I'm not coming out here to do that shit, you know.

[1219] But then at some point, it's like, and also there's more free time out here.

[1220] Like New York, you're constantly, just as a, I'm not talking as a comic, this is a person.

[1221] You're constantly rushed.

[1222] Like what, like, it's just a busy city.

[1223] It's so congested.

[1224] It's like, it's hard to relax.

[1225] You know, here you can relax.

[1226] You got space.

[1227] You can get privacy.

[1228] You can relax.

[1229] Like when people in New York go.

[1230] on vacation, they usually want to do something boring.

[1231] When people in L .A. go on a vacation, they want to do something exciting.

[1232] Eco -tourism.

[1233] You know what I mean?

[1234] I really like, and the audiences are a little different between New York and here.

[1235] But New York really only has, even though it has like probably 15 comedy clubs, there's probably only about three that are like actually good clubs.

[1236] I think it has a lot more than 15.

[1237] I think New York has a shitload of comedy clubs.

[1238] Yeah, I don't know.

[1239] I think there's more than 100.

[1240] No, no, no, not full -time comedy clubs.

[1241] No way.

[1242] Find out, Jamie.

[1243] Yeah.

[1244] How many comics are in New York?

[1245] I don't know.

[1246] It's a lot, though.

[1247] Hedge your bets.

[1248] What do you say?

[1249] What's the over under?

[1250] I'm going to go 19.

[1251] I'm going 50.

[1252] Okay.

[1253] I went with 100 just to be cocky.

[1254] I'm going to say there's 50.

[1255] But L .A. has, I mean, if you look at L .A. They probably have like eight now, right?

[1256] Well, in the greater L .A. area, there's quite a few.

[1257] Like, you know what's really good?

[1258] I just started doing the new Haha Cafe in North Hollywood.

[1259] I did it last Thursday night.

[1260] Yeah, dude.

[1261] I did it last Thursday night, and now I'm doing it this Thursday night again.

[1262] It's fucking incredible.

[1263] What a room.

[1264] It's perfectly set up, low ceiling, packed in, great stage size.

[1265] I used to do that years ago, that place.

[1266] I did the old one.

[1267] Yeah, every time I went there, the stage was in a different spot.

[1268] Like, the guy was constantly redoing it.

[1269] Well, I got to check that out.

[1270] The old one is just down the street from the new one, just down the street.

[1271] Is it still there?

[1272] Yeah, it's still there.

[1273] So there's two of them.

[1274] Yeah, but one of them's a ha -ha, one of them is something else now.

[1275] It's like a different corner club.

[1276] I think he still owns it and he leases it out to somebody.

[1277] But the new spot is a gem.

[1278] The new spot is one of the best clubs in the city.

[1279] Awesome.

[1280] It's perfect.

[1281] I was like, wow, this place is fucking hopping.

[1282] That's cool.

[1283] Yeah, I did it last Thursday, and I was like, wow, I'm sold, man. I will nurture this place.

[1284] Keep this place going.

[1285] That's awesome.

[1286] When I prepared for my last Comedy Central special last August, I was doing the ha -ha all the time.

[1287] Oh, cool.

[1288] I was doing it like every Tuesday night for like a few months.

[1289] And you were doing like a long set, right?

[1290] Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you can fuck around there.

[1291] You can do long sets there.

[1292] That's great.

[1293] Then there's flappers, which I don't do.

[1294] I haven't done that yet in Burbank, yeah.

[1295] I've done it once.

[1296] It's really good.

[1297] But, you know, you can do that.

[1298] The Ice House, which I'm doing tonight.

[1299] I have a 10 o 'clock show there tonight.

[1300] That place is the shit.

[1301] Yeah, everyone loves that.

[1302] I haven't been there yet.

[1303] You haven't been?

[1304] Not yet.

[1305] Are you around tonight?

[1306] I don't think I can tonight.

[1307] You son of a bitch.

[1308] You're putting people down.

[1309] 10 o 'clock.

[1310] Okay.

[1311] But tonight it's sold out.

[1312] It's Greg Fitzs.

[1313] Simmons, Tony Hinchcliff, Burt Kreischer.

[1314] Cool.

[1315] And who fuck else?

[1316] Oh, Al Madrigal, too.

[1317] Oh, cool.

[1318] Hell of a show.

[1319] Hell of a show, God damn it.

[1320] But the ice house is the oldest comedy club in the world.

[1321] The known world.

[1322] Is it really?

[1323] The whole universe.

[1324] The oldest comedy club.

[1325] It's old of the improv.

[1326] Yes.

[1327] It's the oldest place.

[1328] It was a legitimate ice house where you would get ice back with people didn't have freezers.

[1329] Or you get a chunk of ice and you put it in the ice box And it's going to keep your food perishables cold.

[1330] And then in the 1960s, a very early 60s, it became a comedy club.

[1331] So it's been a legitimate comedy club for more than 50 years.

[1332] That's awesome.

[1333] Yeah.

[1334] It's the best.

[1335] That's my favorite place in the planet.

[1336] Next to the store.

[1337] Yeah.

[1338] The store is different in a different place because it's like this crazy psycho energy gym where, you know, you're fucking around and you're working.

[1339] Yeah.

[1340] And you'll bring up, you know, there's like a million great comics.

[1341] bringing up being Edwards and this guy and that guy and it's like it's just just you look at the lineup and it's like 13 murderers yeah yeah yeah no yeah no it's great it's uh yeah i i enjoy doing the audiences are always it seems like they're always like i can't quite put it in the words what the differences are but they're always west coast in general like a little bit different than east coast audiences but the new are seemed to be more cynical yeah more cynical the little less squeamish like the darker shit a little bit more sometimes But not always, you know.

[1342] Well, I think that just the cold and the, you know, they're being packed in and just everybody just jammed on top of each other.

[1343] Like, fuck you.

[1344] There's more, there's more like anger there.

[1345] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1346] Well, or they let it out more sometimes.

[1347] Sometimes I think there's more anger in L .A., but it's more pent up.

[1348] There's something about New York, though, when I stay there, whenever I'm staying there and I'm in a hotel and I look out the window and I just see this insane construction, this thing that people are.

[1349] have put together this modern beehive of cement and steel and glass.

[1350] I'm like, this is amazing, especially at night.

[1351] Like, last time I was there, I spent a good solid two hours just sitting at the desk in my hotel room, looking out the window, just looking, just looking around.

[1352] Where, where did you say?

[1353] I don't remember which one.

[1354] Oh, last time was at the Trump Tower.

[1355] But I've stayed a bunch of different, at Soho.

[1356] Yeah, the Soho one, okay.

[1357] A bunch of different places.

[1358] But I forget which place I was at.

[1359] I was at one place once where I was in the middle of like all these buildings and it was it was like freaky like you look out the window you're looking at somebody else and they're looking out the window Yeah yeah yeah yeah it's fucking yeah buildings stacked on top of buildings it's hard to get privacy Well there's almost I mean how many people watch people fuck in New York yeah gotta be really common Yeah there was a radio lab podcast about that it was really strange it was about this woman and she was telling the tale of how she watched this couple and she would watch this couple all the time and it made her kind of feel weird about her own relationship because this couple they were young and they would fuck all the time and they would they didn't have the curtains drawn they would just fun and she would just watch these people fuck and then the guy got sick and then like the family would be over and she was watching this guy like with her way and then he died oh and then they carried him out of the building and as she saw this yeah over the course of years i would have stopped watching a long time so she well she kind of it was her window like that was her view yeah it's like i look out my window and there's a tree that i like to look at right right right yeah That couple.

[1360] So she ran downstairs as they were taking the body out and putting it in a hearse.

[1361] And, you know, she, like, made eye contact with the girl who lived with the guy and they're taking the body out.

[1362] And she just felt like such a creep.

[1363] But she also felt like she knew them.

[1364] Yeah.

[1365] Like it was like.

[1366] She had a relationship.

[1367] Yeah.

[1368] With them.

[1369] They did them with her, but she did with them.

[1370] Yeah.

[1371] Like, that's a uniquely New York thing to happen.

[1372] Because anywhere else, like, you'd be a fucking creep.

[1373] Like, you'd have to be some guy with them.

[1374] Well, she's still a fucking creep.

[1375] But yes, I see what you're saying Is she?

[1376] I don't think she is I think she's just looking at her world Look, I don't think it's her responsibility To look away when some people are fucking And they're 30 yards outside of her window And they're in a window themselves Yeah, yeah They're on display Yeah Well, are we pretending Well, you're right, windows are meant to be Looked through Looked out of and looked into Yeah, you're correct It works both ways I don't think she's a creep at all I think she's looking at her world but it was interesting how she had she was really good at narrating this and explaining this sounds great yeah think it'd be a cool movie well i don't know about that a depressed the fuck out of here i think because in the end the dude dies yeah you know there's no heroes in that movie but she ran downstairs and like made eye contact with the p and they were like what the fuck you yeah and she's like oh god i realize like they don't know me but i know them and i'm a creep i got to get out of here and then she took her off but that's super common in new york where people like oh there's the guy There's the guy who practices the trumpet.

[1377] There's the guy who jerks off.

[1378] Yeah, I wish I had, I don't have any neighbors like that, but that sounds awesome.

[1379] Do you look out your window?

[1380] Yeah, there's definitely a building.

[1381] There's like an expensive building right behind mine, and you look at it?

[1382] You can just see everyone's stuff, but I hardly ever look out.

[1383] Why wouldn't you?

[1384] You don't look out at those people?

[1385] Because they can, they'll be able to see me. And it freaks you out.

[1386] Yeah, then it's like, just put your world champion hat on.

[1387] Yeah, then especially if I get recognized and they'll be blogging about your tweet about you.

[1388] Hey, you're that guy from that show.

[1389] Yeah, why are you looking at our fucking apartment?

[1390] Hey, which show are you from again, man?

[1391] What show is that?

[1392] Yeah, so.

[1393] Are you a world champion guy?

[1394] I lost my thing.

[1395] Yeah, I don't plug.

[1396] Yeah, that thing, we got to fix that, Jamie.

[1397] That's happening way too often.

[1398] I got it.

[1399] I got it.

[1400] It's all good.

[1401] Look at you on the ball.

[1402] Yeah, that's a weird way of living.

[1403] Yeah.

[1404] Stacked on top of everybody.

[1405] Yeah.

[1406] Like everywhere else in the country, Pretty much, other than, you know, Chicago and some other spots, most people are sort of, they have a house and a little bit of a yard.

[1407] And then there's another house over there and a little bit of a yard.

[1408] Yeah, you get some privacy.

[1409] It's weird how, like, they just decide one area is the area.

[1410] Like, everybody, get here.

[1411] Get here.

[1412] It's not like there's a river that, you know, has gold salmon swimming through it.

[1413] Initially, that's what it was.

[1414] I mean, if you look at almost all big cities, they're usually on some body of water, you know.

[1415] Yeah.

[1416] But now it's, that's not really why it is.

[1417] It's just, yeah.

[1418] Well, there's other places that don't have a reason other than the fact that they're cool, but people are flogic, like Austin, Texas.

[1419] Right, right.

[1420] The middle of Texas.

[1421] And every time I go there, I'm like, Jesus Christ, did a thousand people a day move here for the last 15 years?

[1422] Like, what the fuck is going on?

[1423] Yeah.

[1424] It's, but that is what's happening there.

[1425] Like, people are, they keep hearing, like, I'm fucking up right now by saying Austin's awesome.

[1426] Right.

[1427] It is an awesome city.

[1428] No, they've been doing that for years where the people who are from there are like, fuck, stop telling people about it.

[1429] Yes, exactly.

[1430] Getting too crowded now, you know.

[1431] And that's the thing that pulls people there is the university.

[1432] Yeah.

[1433] That's another thing that pulls people.

[1434] Like, like -minded people, intelligent people, educated people.

[1435] And then they're also, like, it's out of all of the areas in Texas, it's the most open -minded, the most diverse.

[1436] Right, right.

[1437] Yeah, no, there's a lot of good food there, too.

[1438] Oh, yeah.

[1439] Texas has great food, period.

[1440] Fuck you know.

[1441] I don't think you can get a bad meal in Texas.

[1442] You can definitely get a bad meal in Texas.

[1443] Really?

[1444] I haven't had one.

[1445] You can do it.

[1446] I'll get you there.

[1447] Okay.

[1448] I'll get you one.

[1449] Do you work in Texas at all?

[1450] Yeah.

[1451] What clubs do you do?

[1452] Cap City.

[1453] Cap City.

[1454] I'll do the Moon Tower Festival.

[1455] Haven't been there in a while, but the club in Dallas or...

[1456] Addison?

[1457] Yeah, that's a great club.

[1458] Really good club.

[1459] Yeah.

[1460] Houston used to be the shit.

[1461] Yeah, years ago.

[1462] But yeah, I don't really go there anymore.

[1463] I haven't been there in a while.

[1464] I've done colleges in around, you know, all over Texas.

[1465] So you still do college?

[1466] colleges, that's like a big debate with comics these days.

[1467] A lot of comedians don't want to do colleges anymore because it's just too difficult, too much politically correct attitude.

[1468] Yeah, I don't really have a problem with it.

[1469] I really haven't had a problem.

[1470] Before I go on, you know, sometimes before I agree to do it, you know, I ask them, you know, if there's any restrictions.

[1471] And sometimes there's no restrictions at all.

[1472] Sometimes there are.

[1473] What are the restrictions that you...

[1474] Well, usually they never give it to you.

[1475] They'll be like, well, we want HBO.

[1476] No, that's a SNL is fine, but not HBO.

[1477] I'm like, what the fuck does that mean?

[1478] Yeah, yeah.

[1479] So he was booking a show that was way out in Brooklyn in an all -Orthodox Jewish neighborhood.

[1480] And it was a show where the rabbis, it was in an Italian restaurant, an Orthodox Jewish, it was a kosher Italian, like, seafood restaurant, I think.

[1481] What?

[1482] How is that even possible?

[1483] Yeah.

[1484] So everyone there is Orthodox Jewish or even, they had a fair amount of Hasidic Jewish people there.

[1485] And the rabbis in the room, and they had a sheet printed out of all the subjects and words you could.

[1486] and could not say.

[1487] It was like, don't say schmeckle.

[1488] Don't say sex.

[1489] Don't mention sex.

[1490] You know, all these fucking things.

[1491] You know, I'm early on.

[1492] So it's like, I think it paid 25 bucks.

[1493] And, you know, it's like an hour train ride out in the Brooklyn.

[1494] I'm like, fuck it, I'll do that shit.

[1495] So, and it was, you know, it was not a good show.

[1496] But I just remember that thing at how, like, okay, they spelled out every fucking thing that you could not say.

[1497] So it was very clear.

[1498] So there's never a controversy.

[1499] Right.

[1500] So when I do a college, I'm like, what can I say?

[1501] You know, what can I not say?

[1502] Can I do any jokes about a, because I've done Catholic colleges.

[1503] You know, can I do a joke about abortion?

[1504] Can I do a joke about gay marriage?

[1505] You know, I have some bits about gay marriage.

[1506] And, you know, that's with the Catholic Church, that's a big thing.

[1507] So I'm like, I'm like, I need specifics on subject matter and words.

[1508] What is it?

[1509] And I get that, and then everything's fine.

[1510] You know, but you got to get that shit clear.

[1511] But is that fine with you right now?

[1512] like if they give you a list right now and they said okay look some I pass on no some I pass on but what have you passed on I can't remember I think there was a Jewish gig I passed on because it was uh I think it was just I can't remember what it was but it was for some it was a very specific group and it was just I knew there was like there were like so many things you couldn't you'd have to give like this you know they should have just had a kid playing the flute or something it's like don't even have a fucking comedy show you know what I mean And have some 10 -year -olds tap dance or something, you know.

[1513] The kosher place, I wish you took a photo of the rules.

[1514] I think I have it somewhere.

[1515] Where?

[1516] I've, I'm a pack rat, so I'm hoping I have it somewhere.

[1517] I got to look through my notes.

[1518] Please, if you have it emailed to me, and I'll put it up on Instagram.

[1519] But it was amazing.

[1520] That needs to be displayed.

[1521] But I understand that like, even like when you do, you know, if you're going, if you're doing, like even with late -night talk shows on television, I will usually pass undoing stand -up on those and if I can I will do panel right because in a stand -up they're going to there are going to be so many things in my stand -up act that where I have to cut something I'll have to not say a word or a certain subject matter and I'm like I don't want to cut that out of my stand -up I don't want to censor my stand -a -act at all like I want to do zero censorship with it right but if I'm doing panel and then I want you to do some bits on the couch it's a little bit of a different dynamic you know and it's like I'll more likely do that, I'd rather censor it there than do it in my stand -up act.

[1522] Well, it's also interactive.

[1523] Right, exactly.

[1524] So it's a little bit different.

[1525] And you're a guest on their show, and these are their rules.

[1526] So if I know that going in, I'm fine.

[1527] But with those talk shows, when they want you to like, oh, can you not say this word on that stand -up bin or not that something?

[1528] I'm like, fuck it.

[1529] I'm out.

[1530] I'm not doing any censorship with my stand -up, you know.

[1531] Yeah, that's why I would say, like, doing these shows where they would tell you...

[1532] Yeah, I'm sorry, go ahead.

[1533] Go ahead.

[1534] No, they pay a lot.

[1535] You know, colleges pay well in general, and I weigh it.

[1536] And I'm like, all right, if this is going to be it, this is what it is.

[1537] You know, like I did a show at Princeton a few years ago, and this is a different issue.

[1538] And it was, I mean, a lot of the crowd was like a shitty audience.

[1539] They were like, you know, not all of them, but a fair amount were very, very spoiled, very entitled, and drunk as shit.

[1540] And they're heckling.

[1541] and normally I would just fucking destroy him but I'm like if I heckle one of these kids and I fucking rip them the shreds I'm in my head I'm thinking they're gonna write a fucking letter you know and then then nasty letter saying oh you did all these things and then they're gonna tell all these other colleges and then I'll like fucking stop working them so I handled the heckler but not how I would normally how I would normally handle that is why people don't want to work colleges no I get it I get it 100 % when And people don't want to do that.

[1542] It's not worth it.

[1543] I usually find a way.

[1544] So, and the ones I've done this past year, I haven't had to censor anything that I do.

[1545] They've all been really good.

[1546] So, but that does happen sometimes.

[1547] We're also dealing with a lot of people that don't have a lot of real life experience.

[1548] They're very young.

[1549] I've often said, a 50 -year -old janitor will have a better sense of humor than a 19 -year -old Harvard student.

[1550] You know, because, you know, first of all, comedy IQ, comedy smarts, doesn't necessarily of anything to do with book smarts and real life experience is huge.

[1551] You know, sometimes I find college audiences to be almost more narrow -minded than even someone in high school.

[1552] Oh, yeah.

[1553] Because someone in high school, even though they're a couple years younger than someone in college, they don't have that.

[1554] Because usually when people get to college, they kind of think they know everything.

[1555] But in high school, they don't think they know everything.

[1556] Right.

[1557] But in college, they do.

[1558] So it's like they can never be wrong.

[1559] Well, they're ready to establish themselves as independent.

[1560] adults right they're ready and they're ready to reinforce their ideas on you excuse me yeah what you're saying is bullshit yeah the patriarchy right but i also i also make fun of that shit you know when i'll do colleges you know if that shit comes up i make fun of that shit you know so that shit is important to make fun of that's a goddamn cancer thought yeah yeah yeah well that's what that one cartoon in the book is you know i mean it really is it's like thought cancer yeah there's a disease yeah does disease of fake progressiveness yeah it's not it's really Just calling people out on things and finding targets.

[1561] Right.

[1562] Well, it's kind of like when a kid's young, and he's first learning about, you know, curse words and dirty words.

[1563] He's just saying them constantly.

[1564] He doesn't even know what it means.

[1565] So sometimes when people are trying to, like, stand up for something, and this is a new thing.

[1566] This activism is a new thing to them.

[1567] They don't really know.

[1568] They may not be that good at it yet.

[1569] Or, like, their heart might be in the right place, but they're being misguided and they're fucking shit up.

[1570] Yeah, that's a good way of putting it.

[1571] You know, so that I think, and then sometimes, and this goes back to where we're talking more earlier, where people never think they're wrong, you know, and it's okay to be wrong, you know, like my opinions change on things over the years, and I enjoy listening to people.

[1572] Like, I did a show in Columbus, Ohio at a comedy club there.

[1573] I forget, I think it's a funny bone or something.

[1574] I did a show there.

[1575] It was the weekend that the Trayvon Martin case was going on with George Zimmerman.

[1576] And the, it was a show.

[1577] Do you want to black jokes?

[1578] No, no, but I have jokes about gun control, you know.

[1579] And so, and it was, the verdict came down that night and the show's going on.

[1580] And then the next day.

[1581] And I still did my bits about it.

[1582] And I'm talking to guys afterwards.

[1583] And there were a couple guys in the audience, a black guy and a white guy, who were all super pro -gun.

[1584] And they both work for the biggest online gun seller in the country.

[1585] And it was just very cool, you know, talking with.

[1586] them afterwards and getting, you know, their insight as well as people who, you know, want, you know, strict gun control.

[1587] So it's just, uh, it's interesting.

[1588] You know, the, usually things aren't, you know, there are a lot more nuanced than you think they are.

[1589] And there's a lot of issues.

[1590] I just did a gig in Buffalo.

[1591] And the waiter at the comedy club, uh, it's like, hey, I won't see tomorrow on Saturday because hunting season starts tomorrow.

[1592] So me and my dad are driving out the woods and we're going to be hunting all day.

[1593] And then, and then the, uh, the, the, the, the Uber driver who took me back to the airport was also hunting and then he was telling me all the rules they have in hunting like you the bullets can only be a certain size and it can in your rifle you're only allowed to have three bullets in there you're not allowed to have five bullets in there and it's got to be certain bullets that that that like shoot through clean so they don't if you hit the wrong place it's not going to fuck up their whole leg you know all this kind of things that you don't even realize that are out there you know what kind of bullets are these what the fuck we're talking about well i think it's kind of like with fishing like there's a lot of fishing laws where your hook is not allowed to have like those I forget what they're called it like the little daggers that go along the side because when you pull it out the barbs you don't want to be fucking the fish up no what that is is for catch and release places right right that's what I'm talking about yeah but there's no catch and release with bullets no but there was something he was saying about but it was a similar it was a similar dynamic with with the catch and release stuff with the hooks well you can't have hollow point bullets if that's what they mean but those are mostly for pistols Anyway, there's lead ammo versus copper ammo, but really the impact is environmental.

[1594] They're worried about birds eating the lead.

[1595] Okay, okay.

[1596] That's an issue.

[1597] Right, okay, but what you're saying are things that most people don't even know exist, you know, which is part of the conversation in gun control.

[1598] Right.

[1599] You know, I think the gun control conversation and the hunting conversation are very different because I think what people are really concerned about when it comes to gun control are, quote unquote, assault weapons.

[1600] Right, right.

[1601] They're worried about, like, what happened in San Bernardine.

[1602] You know, somebody having large magazines, semi -automatic weapons, killing a bunch of people.

[1603] Also, in, you know, cities versus suburbs and rural places, it's totally different.

[1604] Sure.

[1605] Like if in a rural area and people are like, well, everyone owns guns, that's a hell of a lot different than if you're in a city and on one block, you have 10 ,000 people living.

[1606] Right.

[1607] If you have 10 ,000 guns, you know, within 30 yards, that's a lot of fucking guns.

[1608] Yeah.

[1609] You know, that's a different dynamic than, you know, so I don't know all the answers.

[1610] I think one of the things you were talking about earlier about, like, these people that are activists that really have their heart in the right place, they're just learning how to do it right.

[1611] I think that you could say that overall about what's going on with the Internet in general.

[1612] I think one of the big problems that people are having right now with progressive thinking and what people are calling regressive left, like people that are like very overly peace.

[1613] and trying to reinforce, I think what we're trying to do is make the world a little bit better and a little bit safer and a little bit more open -minded, but along the way, there's going to be a lot of stumbling blocks, and this is going to be a lot of poor representations of these ideas.

[1614] Sure, and you see it from the right, too.

[1615] I mean, with Trump and some of the things he's saying, it's like, you know, some of these things are...

[1616] He's so cartoonish.

[1617] Yeah, but everyone, but even like what he's doing is similar to what happens is sometimes on the left, where everyone is so confident about their idea.

[1618] and they think this is the only way and it's like it's usually a lot more complex than that you know yeah almost always almost always more complex than that there's a lot going on there's a lot going on with human interaction and I think ultimately like we should probably try to leave people alone as much as possible let people do their own thing as much as possible as long as what their own thing is isn't interfering with other people's things I agree 100 % so that way when someone something like radical ideology like Islam extreme you know Muslim terrorist type characters that are doing what they did in San Bernardino and these other places, you got to go, okay, well, now it's a problem because now, you know, someone has stepped in, killed a bunch of people, and they've done it with guns.

[1619] So we have these issues.

[1620] We have these issues of radical ideologies, and we have these issues of guns.

[1621] And we also have mental health issues.

[1622] Yeah.

[1623] That's a big one that one drives me fucking crazy, that every time someone is a mass shooter and kills a bunch of people, the gun control issue comes up over and over again.

[1624] But what about the fucking mental health issue?

[1625] Because the mental health issue is as big an issue as anything else.

[1626] There's a lot of people in this world with guns.

[1627] There's more guns in this country than there are people.

[1628] But relatively speaking, there's very few mass shootings when you consider the amount of human beings.

[1629] So what the fuck is it that makes people pop?

[1630] Yeah, I don't know.

[1631] I mean, the stuff I've read recently says that gun shootings in general now are lower than they were 10 or 20 years ago, but mass shootings are up.

[1632] Yeah.

[1633] You know, murder is down.

[1634] murders are the lowest murder rates i tweeted this the other day lower than they have been in the last 50 years and maybe even ever interesting but mass shootings there's more of them yeah yeah i don't know uh all this i don't know all the reasons i don't think anybody knows they also get publicized now we're in a like a very instantaneous way social media twitter i mean i remember when the san bernadillo thing was happening i just started seeing tweets yeah that was the first thing yeah you know he just immediately get, oh my God, something's happening in San Bernardino.

[1635] What's going on?

[1636] Hashtag San Bernardina.

[1637] It's trending, right.

[1638] Yeah.

[1639] Trending.

[1640] Yeah.

[1641] Trending.

[1642] Yeah.

[1643] It's a weird word, right.

[1644] Yeah.

[1645] It's a weird.

[1646] You don't want to be trending.

[1647] No. You don't be trending.

[1648] No. Judah world champion.

[1649] Hashtag, Judah world champion.

[1650] If that was trending, yeah.

[1651] Yeah.

[1652] That's not bad.

[1653] Yeah.

[1654] That's not good.

[1655] That's not good.

[1656] Uh, but no, that, you know, I don't know all the answers to that.

[1657] Nobody does.

[1658] That's the realities.

[1659] But I do know that it needs to be discussed with an open mind and intelligently, and people need to hear other people's ideas.

[1660] Yeah.

[1661] All sides, you know, it's so, so.

[1662] You know what's fascinating when a mass shooting happens, one of the big winners is the gun business, the gun industry.

[1663] Oh, their sales go through the roof.

[1664] Through the roof.

[1665] Because everybody's scared that the government's going to take the guns.

[1666] Yeah.

[1667] So everybody starts buying guns and buying boats.

[1668] That's what I talked with those, those gun business.

[1669] Ellsman in Ohio when I did that kick.

[1670] They were said through the roof, you know.

[1671] Yeah.

[1672] It's also, they always like to point out that those things don't happen very often in places where you have open carry.

[1673] Those places where anybody can have a gun, you can take a gun anywhere you want.

[1674] It's very rare that you have these mass shootings.

[1675] Right.

[1676] But, I mean, if there is a mass shooter, if there's someone that's shooting people, what do you want?

[1677] Do you want everyone to be unarmed or do you want everyone to be armed to just having fucking crazy gun fights?

[1678] Yeah.

[1679] Like, what is the answer?

[1680] I don't know what the answer is.

[1681] Yeah, I mean, do you really want to live in a society where everyone has to carry a gun?

[1682] Where you're just walking into Walmart with a fucking AR?

[1683] Yeah, you want to give all, like, yeah, at what age would you be required to have a gun?

[1684] You know, is it like when you get your driver's test at 15 or 16?

[1685] Is that when you get your gun also?

[1686] Or do you get your gun when you're six?

[1687] Well, that's another problem is how easy it is to get a gun as opposed to how easy it is to learn how to drive a car.

[1688] Yeah.

[1689] If you're driving a car, you have to go through a lot of hoops and you have to have.

[1690] to learn.

[1691] As it should be.

[1692] You don't have to do that with a gun.

[1693] That's a problem.

[1694] It's a real problem.

[1695] You don't have to show competency.

[1696] You don't have to, you know, they don't have to test you on your marksmanship or any of that.

[1697] I think Colbert just did a thing the other night saying it's, you have to show more ID to get Sudafed than to get a gun.

[1698] Well, especially ammo.

[1699] There's more restrictions on Sudafed than there are on ammo.

[1700] That's what it was.

[1701] That's what it was.

[1702] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1703] That's what it was.

[1704] Yeah, I had to buy some recently.

[1705] And when I bought it, they had to get, they had to get my ID.

[1706] And I was like, what?

[1707] Like, you have to write down someone's ID when you buy Sudafed.

[1708] Yeah, and that never used to be that way.

[1709] In the 80s, you just go buy Sudafed.

[1710] Oh, yeah.

[1711] We need to just go back to the 80s.

[1712] That's what we need to do.

[1713] Go back to the 80s.

[1714] No internet.

[1715] Everyone was stupid.

[1716] The internet's the fucking problem.

[1717] Yeah, the internet has recipes for how to make meth from cold syrup.

[1718] Yeah.

[1719] Remember when you started doing comedy?

[1720] Did you ever think you were going to have to be doing tweets and shit like that?

[1721] We were talking about that before the show.

[1722] Like, we were both tweeting.

[1723] Like, yeah, no. I mean, it's a prerequisite.

[1724] If you want to be a successful touring comedian, you have to tweet, you have to Facebook, you have to, I do three things.

[1725] Facebook, tweet, Instagram.

[1726] Those are my three things.

[1727] Okay.

[1728] I don't really do Facebook anymore.

[1729] I just couldn't.

[1730] I just kind of, I did Instagram, Twitter.

[1731] I just started doing Periscope a little bit, but.

[1732] I gave up on Periscope.

[1733] Usually, I've done a few, and each one was me on the road, like, in a city, and I have no car, so I'm just, like, walking a mile to, like, the closest, like, CVS or gas station supermarket to buy some groceries.

[1734] So in the 20 -minute walk, I'll be like, all right, I'll just fucking periscope this shit.

[1735] Why don't you just rent a car?

[1736] That's a good point.

[1737] But then I'm not really going anywhere, you know?

[1738] Go places.

[1739] Not really, because I usually, on the road, it's like I have to get up early to do morning radio.

[1740] I got shows late at night, and I'm just, I'm usually too tired to do anything during the day.

[1741] Why don't you take some vitamins, eat some healthy food?

[1742] I do eat healthy food.

[1743] I do eat healthy food.

[1744] I don't do vitamins, but I do healthy food.

[1745] When you're on the road, do you bring your own openers?

[1746] Not usually.

[1747] I'm not at that point in my career where I can really, I'm not making.

[1748] getting enough money where I can do that you know I need to get up like another rung on the ladder and then I can be doing that I think I'm like just below that successful television show though I know but I never translated anything into successful business just yeah just didn't do it I don't know I'm just not a good business person you know it's like I remember like I remember you know just doing this one show like it was a road show and a bunch of comics were on it and like There's two comics who are like, they didn't even have the better of the sets, and they're selling T -shirts, they got their CDs, they're selling left and right, and the other couple are like, you know, no one's even talking to us, you know, and we had great sets.

[1749] But yeah, it's not, I don't know.

[1750] I've never been good at selling stuff or organization or anything like that.

[1751] Yeah, would you see just going on the road, doing your thing, getting the fuck out of there?

[1752] Yeah.

[1753] Yeah.

[1754] I'm trying to, like, get to see the cities more and learn about it more instead of just going in and out, you know.

[1755] Are you looking to do more TV, or you're just looking to do more stand -up now?

[1756] Like, what are you trying to do?

[1757] Yeah, well, that's, I think I'm going to, stand -up has always been my main thing and still is.

[1758] I spent most of the last year, when 30 Rock ended, actually, I stopped.

[1759] I didn't even have an acting agent.

[1760] I, and I wasn't looking for one, and I haven't had an acting agent in about two years.

[1761] When 30 -Rock ended, I just wanted to hit the road and tour, because I was still doing tons of stand -up.

[1762] all doing 30 Rock, but I wasn't allowed to do go on the road much because we were filming in the city.

[1763] So, you know, like eight or nine months out of the year.

[1764] So I just went on the road and that's all I wanted to do.

[1765] And then with the sort of constant sleep deprivation of traveling and, you know, morning radio and morning TV shows, I started actually drawing again.

[1766] And that's when I started.

[1767] And the book sort of like came out of that, you know, after several months, I realized I had like 50 cartoons.

[1768] And I was like, wow, I think I'm working on a new book here.

[1769] And so I wasn't planning on that.

[1770] That's just kind of organically came to me. So I spent the past, most of the past year, year and a half working on that and then doing stand -up.

[1771] I turned down a fair amount of acting stuff that came my way.

[1772] And now the next big project I need to do is a stand -up project, whether it would be a special or a 90 -minute feature -length stand -up concert film.

[1773] And then I'll do an album with it because I still have never put one out.

[1774] Really never?

[1775] You know anything?

[1776] I should have had probably five out by now.

[1777] years ago I turned them down from Comedy Central because I always Well this was this is probably like 10 15 years ago I turned him down because of their censorship stuff I didn't Now they're much looser with it obviously Way looser But then it was like there were subjects you couldn't talk about A lot of words you couldn't say and I'm like fucking I'm not doing it And I also never liked their ownership clauses Where they owned They didn't just own that filmed footage of you They owned all the writing in it also You know so if I wanted to If I wanted to do let's say I had one joke from there and then I wanted to do that on my own album but I've like one line but I've added three new lines to it they either wouldn't allow you or you'd have to get lawyers and fucking get permission so I was like fuck it so and then I've been trying to make my own for the past couple years and then this book project sort of presented itself and then so at this point the only thing stopping me is me so you must have so much material I know I can put out I think what I'm going to do is just put out my recent, most recent hour.

[1778] But, yeah, I can put out, I can go back to material I don't even do anymore and put out probably two or three others, you know.

[1779] Yeah, you should do that.

[1780] You should just bang out like three specials in a year.

[1781] Yeah, I might do that, yeah, or maybe one special and then two other albums or something.

[1782] Because it's so important if people want to go see you that they can see something online.

[1783] They could find something that they get Netflix or something along those lines.

[1784] I have some clips online.

[1785] And that's it.

[1786] But I don't have, like, any of the half -hour -hour stuff because I always turn that down.

[1787] That's crazy.

[1788] And I think a lot of it was fear -based, too, because I also have a lot of trust issues with people.

[1789] Do you trust me?

[1790] I do.

[1791] I do trust you.

[1792] I'm trusting you today.

[1793] Okay, cool.

[1794] No, but, no, I respect you and trust you.

[1795] But it's like I have a lot of trust issues, period, you know, and then some of us, because I've been fucked over a lot, but that's okay.

[1796] But then there's also my own perfectionism.

[1797] It's like, oh, as soon as you tape it, then I'm going to think, oh, I have this one other joke that goes on to that one, and I want it in there.

[1798] I want it perfect.

[1799] And you got, you can't aim for perfect.

[1800] You got to just go with what you got at that time, and that's what that show represents.

[1801] Yeah, it's got to be a representation of what you're doing right now.

[1802] In this one time where this is filmed in, you know, December of 2015, bam, this is Judea Freelander, bam, this is it.

[1803] Exactly.

[1804] But it's hard to do that.

[1805] Yeah.

[1806] It's hard.

[1807] It's hard to nail it like that and lock it in and then not say, oh, but I could have done this.

[1808] Maybe I should have edited that out and that part was flat.

[1809] Right.

[1810] Take chances.

[1811] Right.

[1812] And then the other like blockage on my own area, mental blockage was, and I'm much better with that now.

[1813] But for a few years ago, I used to never have it.

[1814] Then a few years ago it kicked in was like that fear of like, you know, basically like not just trolls, but like, you know, bloggers saying, oh, this.

[1815] shit sucked like they're gonna shit on it and then because you know so many people like like if one blog says you stink then all the other ones are just gonna basically rewrite that one and then write the same fucking article and then before you know what you have all the fucking internet saying you stink or like the whole hipster half of the internet saying you suck so I never used to give a shit what people think but at some point several years ago that kind of happened to me so I was like it did happen to yeah it did where I was just constantly like I got a lot of anxiety, like thinking, if I put something out, they're going to shit on it, and everyone thinks I'm going to suck, and then I'm not going to have a career.

[1816] Did this happen because someone shit on you, or you were worried about someone shitting on you?

[1817] I was worried about it.

[1818] Yeah, I was worried about it.

[1819] So it never happened.

[1820] No, well, no, I've had reviews where people, like, like, just completely shit on me, and it's all, none of it's factual.

[1821] You know what I mean?

[1822] It's basically like a professional troll, you know, but.

[1823] You're always going to have that, though, man. Yeah, I know.

[1824] Yeah, so I can't think about that.

[1825] Yeah, I've gotten much better.

[1826] with like not worrying about that shit but for you know three four years three four years ago i was i was having that really bad you know and i don't know what it was i i think it was all kinds of trust issues trust issues i was having personally and stuff because i remember like when 30 rock was going on i'd go out on a date with the girl and then like 30 minutes in the date um she starts talking about her boyfriend and i'm like what i'm like what are you talking about and and she's like Oh, I thought we were just, you know, going out for dinner on, like, friends.

[1827] And I'm like, I'm like, I asked you out.

[1828] It's Saturday night.

[1829] And I'm like, so I go to like, are you like, are you, are you cheating on your boyfriend?

[1830] Are you not in him anymore?

[1831] Like, he's out of town or you guys have an open relationship?

[1832] She's like, no, he's here.

[1833] I'm like, well, where is he?

[1834] He's over there watching.

[1835] At the apartment.

[1836] I'm like, well, fucking go to him.

[1837] What the fuck you're doing here with me, you know?

[1838] How many times this happened?

[1839] That happened a few times.

[1840] We're like girls would, like, want to, like, go out with me just to take pictures.

[1841] So they can, like, tell their Facebook friends and shit.

[1842] Oh, so they became friends with you because you were on television.

[1843] Right, exactly.

[1844] So that...

[1845] So I think when that stuff was happening, that's also...

[1846] I'm just guessing here.

[1847] I don't have the exact answers.

[1848] I'm just thinking out loud.

[1849] But I think that's maybe sort of around the same time when I started worrying about, like, bloggers and shit, like, shitting on you and stuff like that.

[1850] You know, my friend Eddie has this theory about Bill Cosby and about Bill Cosby when he started.

[1851] started doing that to women and he thinks that that might have been the similar type of situation where these women wanted to be around him but they were turning him down oh gotcha and he started drugging them then he started raping him yeah yeah yeah that i just left yeah yeah yeah you're much better man than him but you know what i mean like no that's interesting that can happen where someone's attracted to you simply because you're a famous person right right right right you think well hey this is a girl that i'm romantically interested in and i'd like to go on a date You ask them out, and they say, yeah, and then you're at dinner.

[1852] So what the fuck, man?

[1853] So you're talking to this girl, you go, hey, you want to go out to dinner?

[1854] And she's like, yeah, that sounds good.

[1855] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1856] And then all of a sudden you're on a date, and she's telling you about her boyfriend.

[1857] Yeah, it's Saturday.

[1858] It's 10 o 'clock.

[1859] Yeah.

[1860] And you're thinking, yeah, look at you.

[1861] I bet you look good naked.

[1862] Oh, yeah.

[1863] Dude is going to get some.

[1864] All right.

[1865] And she's like, yeah, my boyfriend's waiting for me. Yeah.

[1866] No, she just casually mentioned them about something.

[1867] Oh, yeah, my boyfriend's.

[1868] And then I'm like, huh?

[1869] What?

[1870] Yeah.

[1871] And this happened more than once.

[1872] Yeah.

[1873] I remember one girl.

[1874] I remember one girl.

[1875] What did she?

[1876] I'm trying to remember what she wanted to do.

[1877] Fuck.

[1878] No, no. She wanted to.

[1879] It was something like...

[1880] Buy jewelry?

[1881] No, I can't remember.

[1882] I think it was Time Out New York Magazine.

[1883] They put me on the front cover of their, like, dating issue.

[1884] And they're like, a whole list about dating.

[1885] And they had a thing on the friend said, like, date this guy.

[1886] And I'm like, on the cover.

[1887] They were like, oh, I'm fucking in.

[1888] Woo.

[1889] Yeah.

[1890] So, and I remember one girl, I think, saw that and then she she like Facebooked me or something like that and was saying oh she wants to me me and so she wanted to go she wanted to go she wanted to write articles she wanted to follow me on a date and then write an article about it that's that's what she wanted to do and I'm like why the fuck would anyone want to do that and why would I want to fucking do that it's like why do she wants you to meet a random girl go on a date with her and she's going to hang out with you guys yeah yeah because she wants to get uh because she's like an aspiring writer so she wants to try to get you know articles written online so her way to do is to latch onto a famous person right right so there's always you know that kind of shit you know so i uh and i had you know and before any of that shit i always had trust issues with people so then that would make it even where does your trust issues come from i feel like i'm your doctor no yeah i don't know i don't know my psychologist does always your whole life you've had this yeah i don't know always with authority figures i've never gotten along pretty much you know and you you consider women authority figures no no that's just you know it's just a relationship right so how many different girls did that to you when you went on dates with them and they said they had boyfriends well there's that one I can think of I mean it probably happened like two or three times that's really weird yeah yeah that's super unusual yeah but also but it'll happen after shows all the time where a girl will be really flirty with you another comes say like dude you should jump on that I'm like her boyfriend's right there you know yeah it's like you know she'll be flirty with me and I remember one time one girl was like taking her shirt off showing her boobs me and godfrey are there there's outside the cellar and her boyfriend's right there he's taking photos of us doing it and stuff and other other freaks yeah yeah you know some people are just that way you know and other people are going to do you guys you go with the girl like her boyfriend's taking the photos no I'm not going to find there's always going to be people like that people there's I have a friend of mine that went with this girl and the girl told him that she had a husband and the husband watched and coached her while she was blowing my friend that's that's really weird shit deep that's the shit i don't want to get involved that's deep in the weird pool yeah i don't do that yeah i was saying to him i said did that feel gay like she's like he's directing your pleasure the whole thing that's just that's just bizarre that whole thing but some people are into bizarre shit not like that man not me no no some people are into weird shit though yeah you know but i don't know i think you know so much of culture is so Wow.

[1891] Like, even if you look at social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, if I wasn't trying to promote my shows, I wouldn't be on any of that shit.

[1892] Right.

[1893] Yet, everyone's on that shit.

[1894] Mm, that's a good point.

[1895] You know, like, why are they on it?

[1896] Like, if you're on it and you just want to follow different people to sort of, you know, get some, like, you know, ongoing kind of entertainment, you know.

[1897] But it's like, like, when people just take photos of themselves at the beach or their food, and they posted them like, I don't know.

[1898] Why the fuck are you doing it?

[1899] What's the point?

[1900] That's a really good point.

[1901] You know, I don't think I've really thought about that.

[1902] Like, I get why we're on it.

[1903] I don't get what anyone else is on it.

[1904] Because I've been in entertainment for so long, and social media is just something that sort of came along the way.

[1905] What would I be doing?

[1906] Would I be even using if it, if I, I don't think I would.

[1907] No. I got on to MySpace to promote gigs.

[1908] I got on to Facebook for the same and Twitter for the same.

[1909] That's really interesting.

[1910] And Instagram, same thing.

[1911] Like, I know some people, and they just follow.

[1912] They'll follow, like, their favorite, like, musicians and their favorite comics.

[1913] And they're, you know, so they're on their scroll.

[1914] They're getting, you know, some, you know, info and entertainment, like, throughout the day.

[1915] I understand that, but, but if you're actively posting, I don't, I don't know.

[1916] You know what it's almost like everyone has their own show, basically.

[1917] That's what the world's become.

[1918] Everyone has their own reality show.

[1919] Yeah, that is what it's like.

[1920] So it's also like a lot of, yeah, I'm sorry, go ahead.

[1921] Go ahead, no, please.

[1922] No, no, no. You're in the show.

[1923] No, no, I've had you off too many times.

[1924] It's all right, man. It's just talking.

[1925] I feel bad now.

[1926] What are you saying?

[1927] Don't feel bad.

[1928] What are you saying?

[1929] All right.

[1930] If a girl...

[1931] No, like some of those girls, like from a few years ago, it was like, it was almost like, you know, the date was me guest starring on their show.

[1932] Yes, exactly.

[1933] You know, and I can maybe get them ratings, you know.

[1934] Yes.

[1935] Get them a bunch of likes in their photos.

[1936] Right.

[1937] That's what it was like, you know.

[1938] I went with a guy from the 30 Rock.

[1939] Look, it's me. Thought he was going to get laid.

[1940] Ha, ha, ha.

[1941] L -O -L.

[1942] Sometimes I don't even think they're thinking that.

[1943] Like, I don't even even.

[1944] think that occurs to them sometimes what yeah oh they're dumb well i don't know i think they're just so into like oh this will give me people are going to like this photo you know they're not thinking i don't know that they all actually think it affects you as a person just like trolls don't think it affects you as a person often you know they're just like you know they're just talking shit they're just not thinking about it yeah yeah yeah they're just using you as a target for their angst right right right they don't view you as a human right and for the girls she's using you as a target You're a celebrity.

[1945] Right, right.

[1946] You're on a television show that she enjoys.

[1947] Look, I'm here with him, the guy from the thing.

[1948] I'm amazing.

[1949] I'm amazing.

[1950] I made magic happen.

[1951] The guy from the box is standing, and he paid for my food.

[1952] It's a perfect impression.

[1953] Is that what she sounded like?

[1954] Perfect.

[1955] And then my boyfriend says, and then my boyfriend says, and he doesn't like you.

[1956] I don't know why.

[1957] I never.

[1958] No, you'll be like, oh, yeah, he likes you too.

[1959] Yeah, but when you asked him, did your boyfriend know that we're going to dinner together?

[1960] Yeah, on that one time I did.

[1961] And what'd she say?

[1962] She just, she had nothing to say.

[1963] Yeah.

[1964] Oh, God.

[1965] So did you just end the date right there and get out of there?

[1966] No, I finished my food.

[1967] You know, I think it lasted a little bit longer.

[1968] It was just kind of like awkward and shit.

[1969] Yeah.

[1970] Yeah, it was pretty lame.

[1971] Yeah.

[1972] How'd you guys end of the night?

[1973] Did you hugger?

[1974] I don't remember.

[1975] I don't remember.

[1976] How could you not remember?

[1977] What's that?

[1978] How could you not remember that?

[1979] I don't remember how it happened.

[1980] I just don't fucking know.

[1981] You know, the idea that everyone has their own show is exactly what's going on.

[1982] And that's also when you see these like really self -righteous tweets that people put out, like, what are they really doing?

[1983] They're doing exactly the same thing that you see people doing on reality shows where they're fucking acting.

[1984] You know, you know when you watch a reality show and you watch someone, they're doing something or saying something very specifically to get a reaction.

[1985] Okay.

[1986] I don't watch them, but yeah, I get what you're saying.

[1987] Yeah, yeah.

[1988] Like they know the camera's on them.

[1989] Yeah, yeah.

[1990] And that's why they're acting in sort of an unnatural way or in a manipulative way.

[1991] Right, right.

[1992] And that manipulation applies to social media as well.

[1993] It's just a, it's a less pervasive method of doing it.

[1994] So they're broadcasting to a million plus people on a reality show.

[1995] You're broadcasting to 10 ,000 people who follow you on Twitter.

[1996] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1997] That's a big part of what people are doing today.

[1998] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1999] It's also what hashtag activism is.

[2000] What is hashtag activism?

[2001] Well, I think it's a lot of what it is.

[2002] Yeah, no, I think it can be both.

[2003] I mean, I agree with you and I disagree, because I think sometimes people are genuine, but then sometimes people are just, you know, to their own morning.

[2004] Yeah, I mean, there's no black or white in this.

[2005] Yeah, yeah.

[2006] Or I should say, yeah.

[2007] So I know, I remember.

[2008] So I say gray?

[2009] Is that okay?

[2010] I remember doing a stand -up set on a show years ago in L .A. called Late Friday.

[2011] And I got, I remember doing my first joke.

[2012] it's a setup and a punch line and I say the setup part and I have a slight pause everyone starts laughing and I was like what the fuck's going on that's you're not they've never laughed there ever I've been doing this joke for two years they've never laughed at that point and then I get to the punch line and they're still laughing the setup they don't really laugh at the punchline that much and then after about like three and the first of the first few minutes were just weird like that and then after about three four minutes it kind of became like a normal set and then afterwards I found out that the entire audience was a paid background extra actors so and they didn't tell me that before going on so that's kind of like you know reminds me what you were saying about you know everyone had on their own show you know yeah just so they were trying to be they were acting and trying to act like an audience member instead of just sitting there and just let it happen you don't have to do anything paid background and everybody when juda comes out he's going to say jokes I want you to laugh it up on to hear your best laugh right now come on folks you can do better yeah is that all you got Come on.

[2013] And that's the way a lot of times comedy on TV is where it's just, it's so fake, you know, it's just, and that's a more extreme example, but it's like, it's just, I don't know, but it's not easy to capture, you know, even when you see specials, it's not easy to capture a real stand -up night.

[2014] Because, you know, when you put those cameras in there and people know what's going on, it always adds a little bit of a different dynamic, you know.

[2015] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2016] You know, Hunter Thompson was talking about that a long time ago.

[2017] Really?

[2018] documentary about, yeah, he started filming things, started carrying cameras around and filming things.

[2019] And he was talking about, they were interviewing him for this BBC documentary that they were doing, I think it was BBC.

[2020] And he was saying that having a camera changes everything because you're not capturing reality because having the camera, knowing that it's being filmed, changes exactly what it is.

[2021] It becomes something different now because everyone's aware of the camera.

[2022] And this is a documentary he made that he was talking about?

[2023] No, it was about him.

[2024] Oh, I got to see that.

[2025] Yeah.

[2026] That sounds great.

[2027] There's a few.

[2028] He's got a couple of.

[2029] I'm a big fan of Hunter Thompson.

[2030] Yeah.

[2031] But the one with Gonzo, the life and times of Hunter S. Thompson.

[2032] I think that was what it was called.

[2033] The documentary.

[2034] Yeah, that was one.

[2035] And then there was another one.

[2036] Fear and Loathing in Hollywood, I think.

[2037] I forget which one was.

[2038] But there's a few of them.

[2039] You can find them online.

[2040] I'll check those out.

[2041] That sounds really cool.

[2042] But they were at his place in Woody Creek, Colorado, with cameras and filming them.

[2043] And he's like, well, this isn't.

[2044] reality because you got a camera as soon as you use that camera he was an incredibly perceptive uh person man that's pretty cool except when it came to himself interesting yeah it's all sorts of blind spots yeah yeah that's i mean i think that's uh that's probably pretty common you know fuck yeah it's uh way more common than not yeah and i think it's i think it's good to admit that you know yeah i think that's one problem is where like a lot of people don't admit that it's like it's okay to have flaws you know we all have flaws.

[2045] If you don't have flaws, you're not human.

[2046] And that's the other thing about social media that's weird.

[2047] It often shows, people are showing themselves without the flaws.

[2048] So it's, it's like you said, it's like everything's kind of fake on a certain level.

[2049] And they also find a flaw that you have and just fucking attack.

[2050] Yeah.

[2051] Yeah.

[2052] It's a target.

[2053] Yeah.

[2054] What did you say about black people, Judah?

[2055] Yeah.

[2056] So, I didn't, black lung.

[2057] A lung.

[2058] It's a dark.

[2059] It's, it's cigarettes.

[2060] Yeah.

[2061] Yeah, that's the kind of thing That was the kind of thing I used to worry about Like, oh, you do one thing and fuck They're going to get you I had a couple drawings in here where It's paralysis by analysis The way I draw it and the way I worded I'm like, am I going to get shit on for this?

[2062] And I was like a couple of them Yeah, but it's cool Listen, I got to get out of here But let's highlight the book We've got two of them here How to beat up anybody This is the one that's out for a few years Yeah, that one you can get on Amazon For 35 cents and shipping is $3 .99.

[2063] The new one if rain, $39.

[2064] cents?

[2065] You can get your...

[2066] Yeah, I think, you know, because you can get used copies.

[2067] I think new, it's like $14.

[2068] But if you want to use a copy, I think it's like 35 sets.

[2069] What a nice guy you are?

[2070] And then shipping is $3 .99.

[2071] And if raindrops United...

[2072] See, that goes back to me not being a good salesman.

[2073] I tell people to buy the shitty shit.

[2074] You're an artist.

[2075] But yeah, if the raindrops United, this has been my big passion in the past...

[2076] If you like B -Kleban, or maybe even some of the old Gary Larson stuff, I think I think you'll dig this book.

[2077] Beautiful.

[2078] And then your Twitter is J -U -W -World champ?

[2079] J -U -D -A.

[2080] H, World Champ, tour dates, Judahfreedlander .com.

[2081] Thank you, brother.

[2082] Appreciate it, man. Always good seeing you, please.

[2083] This is great to see you.

[2084] Anytime, man, let's do it again.

[2085] No, I always, I don't see you much because I live in New York, and it's always cool when I see you.

[2086] Always cool to see you, too, brother.

[2087] All right, Judah Freelander, ladies and gentlemen, we'll see you soon.

[2088] Bye -bye, big kiss.

[2089] M -M -M -M -W.

[2090] Oh, that was great.