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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only Martyrs in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Is it time?
[17] I think it's time.
[18] It's mini -so time?
[19] It's many -so -time.
[20] Hi, welcome to my favorite murder.
[21] Oh, no, the Mertysode.
[22] Oh, no, the Mertysode.
[23] My favorite Mertie.
[24] Hey, this is where you guys sent us your hometown murders and we read them back to you.
[25] It's kind of like a practice and reading.
[26] It's like a reading exercise.
[27] It's just a fun reading exercise because we both love to read aloud.
[28] Let me prove that now.
[29] My first murder, the subject line is, does that make me a murderer?
[30] Hi.
[31] My friend and I were on vacation a few months ago sleeping in a stranger's house in rural Taiwan thinking, man, it sure would be nice to listen to stories about being murdered right now and it was until we listened to episode 72 and I learned that I am related to a serial killer.
[32] The highway killer...
[33] Oh my God, I want that experience so bad.
[34] What is wrong with me?
[35] The highway killer, Larry Eiler, is my great, great second cousin or something and I didn't have any idea until you told me. I grew up in Crawfordsville, Indiana, home of the murderer.
[36] And Eiler is my grandmother's maiden name.
[37] It's a very small place.
[38] So when I heard the episode, I texted my mom and she was upsettingly casual about it.
[39] They always are.
[40] They always are.
[41] I was all, excuse me, this is all caps, excuse me, are we related to a serial killer?
[42] And she was all, what are you talking about?
[43] And I was all, I was just listening to a podcast about murderers.
[44] And they were talking about someone from Crawfordsville with the last name, Eiler.
[45] How many can there be?
[46] And she was all, oh, you mean cousin Larry?
[47] Oh, my God.
[48] Oh, that one.
[49] she says what is that who who just cousin larry's when there's a homicidal maniac in your bloodline so anyway thanks for letting me know i'm genetically i'm genetically a serial killer i'm coming to see you in madison next week please try not to reveal anything any horrifying truths about my family this time stay sexy sarah that's hilarious i want like no i don't i know i don't but i want one of those oh this whole time you know moments you thought one thing and then it actually turned out to be a totally different thing.
[50] Yeah, like a puzzle being solved, you know, and you can see in my actor's face that I'm slowly putting it together.
[51] That's right.
[52] You look to the left for a little while and then you look over to the right, kind of blinky.
[53] Oh.
[54] Oh, she's really discovering something.
[55] And you make that noise.
[56] I watch too much TV.
[57] And then I realized I watched too much TV.
[58] Okay.
[59] My boyfriend almost voluntarily got us murdered.
[60] And then it says, lighthearted.
[61] Hi, Karen, Georgia, Stephen.
[62] furry babies.
[63] Love, love, love your podcast.
[64] Can't wait to see you guys in Madison in October.
[65] So, fun story here.
[66] My boyfriend, not a murderer, almost voluntarily got us murdered.
[67] One night, the two of us were out at the bars, and it's around bar clothes, and I'm waiting outside of the bar for my boyfriend so we can take an Uber home.
[68] While I'm waiting, this girl comes up to me and compliments my shoes and walks away.
[69] Then my boyfriend joins me outside and comes back up and continues talking and complimenting my septum ring as she has one too, and then leaves again.
[70] Don't ever talk to girls outside of bars who are weird, like this when my boyfriend and I walked past her car she yells at us and asks hey we want to continue partying with her and her ex -boyfriend two questions is not a party no yeah um she this girl writes absolutely not for so many reasons as I'm about to politely decline my boyfriend goes sure and gets in the car who am I dating I go ahead and get in her car against all of my better judgments and we start driving away oh my god honey as we're driving she keeps saying weird little things like, it may seem like we're driving super far away, but we're really close, I promise.
[71] Oh, my God.
[72] She didn't tell us her name, and then she goes red flag number 7 ,500, 7474, 8, blah, blah.
[73] She kept asking us if we smoked the gongue.
[74] Oh, NARC.
[75] She's actually driving you to Quantico because she's an FBI agent.
[76] And also told us she was 23, one year older than both of us, and she has two kids and an ex -husband.
[77] Oh.
[78] She also told us she saw us at a few bars while we were out, i .k .a. she was scoping us out to probably murder.
[79] Once we get closer to the house, she goes, oh, there's not really any furniture at this place because he just moved in.
[80] Okay, so we're literally probably breaking into a house.
[81] When we pull into an extremely sketchy house and an extremely sketchy neighborhood, she says, oh, you know what?
[82] He's not even home yet, but don't worry, I'm great at breaking into houses.
[83] Girl.
[84] Oh my God.
[85] What is this?
[86] When we walk up to the door, she asks us if we have any cell service way out here because she didn't.
[87] I figured we were probably going to get murdered there and there's no turning back now.
[88] We get into this house with no furniture but a really old, with a really old tiny couch and she walks upstairs and asks if we want to smoke the gange up there.
[89] No, I do not.
[90] The house was empty but filled with little toys on the floor and there's only one light and I immediately call an Uber and have cell service, thank God.
[91] Thank God.
[92] She comes back downstairs and keeps mentioning how weird this.
[93] was and how sorry she is and how she's, quote, not a serial killer.
[94] What?
[95] She mentioned she is not a serial killer so many times that she definitely had to be one.
[96] Yes.
[97] I told her I called an Uber and we were about to leave and she goes, how did they find your address all the way out here?
[98] And we just kind of bolted out and left.
[99] Once we got into the Uber, I immediately yelled at my boyfriend for not consulting with me before he got into a stranger's car.
[100] His reasoning for agreeing to go on with her is that he saw her talking to me and thought we knew each other when she literally only complimented my shoes.
[101] My boyfriend was the one that showed me to your podcast, and he doesn't even know how to stay sexy and not get murdered.
[102] I'm glad we made it out of lie, but not sure what would have happened if her ex -husband was there.
[103] Hopefully this was an entertaining enough story to qualify as a hometown, SSDGM.
[104] Megan, Megan, it was.
[105] Megan, you highly qualified.
[106] Man. That was, okay, that is a horror movie, absolutely, because normally, don't you think people do that it's like you're inside drunk you feel safe there's tons of people around you you're with your boyfriend whatever and then there's somebody outside trying to pick people off who just spent the night drinking yeah they know that and they're like yeah let's party more and then they're like yeah we've been following you that thing of like that real like realization that you're with someone you shouldn't be with and you're in an enclosed space like a car with them and be like oh no yeah like you can't go back yeah you can tuck and roll open the door tuck and roll.
[107] You can, um, what are things you can do to get people to pull a car over?
[108] I'm going to vomit.
[109] You could vomit.
[110] That's exactly right.
[111] Yeah.
[112] Yep.
[113] Pee yourself.
[114] I'm going to vomit and then start to vomit.
[115] They will pull the car over.
[116] That's true.
[117] Then pop both of their tires and run the other direction.
[118] I don't know how you do that part.
[119] And your mom's like, what are you doing?
[120] Karen, get back here.
[121] Why did you pop out my tire?
[122] I'm running scenarios.
[123] I'm running scenarios.
[124] Okay.
[125] This subject line of this one is my bad miss. and murder.
[126] Dear Georgia, Karen, and Stephen, thanks for offering a podcast that normally confirms that my anxieties are not irrational, but also shares practical advice on how to stand up for yourself, look out for others, stay sexy, and not get murdered.
[127] Thanks.
[128] I went to high school in a small town outside of Madison, Wisconsin, your typical quiet place where no one would ever, etc. One day, one day I came home from school and my dad was reading a news article on his laptop.
[129] He turned the screen around and asked if I knew the guy in the photo from the article.
[130] I recognized him instantly.
[131] That's my badminton partner from gym class.
[132] What happened?
[133] In parentheses, yeah, this is the type of high school I went to.
[134] We spent a full month of class playing badminton.
[135] You can try your own conclusions about the general population of the area, which I actually can't.
[136] I don't understand.
[137] It's indicative of nothing to me. Yeah, I love it.
[138] Is it a small group of British people that live in Madison?
[139] There sounds like well -rounded, you know, like people of the, or is badminton trashy?
[140] I don't know.
[141] I'm not, I feel like she could either be saying, I'm a billionaire, or, um, I'm British.
[142] Yeah.
[143] There's so many choices.
[144] Okay.
[145] So my dad tells me that this guy suspected of a murder in Madison where a teenager was shot and killed on his break from work.
[146] Turns out my badminton partner was a known gang member, which was not a thing in this town with a criminal record.
[147] But he had changed his, changed his name multiple times.
[148] And the name he used at school wasn't known by the police.
[149] To this day, they actually don't know.
[150] know which, if any, of his names is the real one.
[151] What?
[152] Then it gets weirder.
[153] Oh, my God, my God.
[154] Even though he was enrolled in high school as being 17, this guy was actually in his mid -20 and pretending to be a teenage high school student.
[155] That's my favorite.
[156] Dude, the best.
[157] The best.
[158] I mean, oftentimes they have malicious intent when they do that.
[159] But just the idea of being like, fuck it, I'm trying this again.
[160] I get to do it again and see what happens.
[161] You must have had a good time the first time around because who the fuck would go back to high school.
[162] I mean, yeah, I could, I can't.
[163] I'd get shivers when I drive by my old high school.
[164] We drove by mine yesterday and I was crying.
[165] Remember when I was screaming crying?
[166] Yes, that's right.
[167] And tearing at the windshield.
[168] I was in the trunk, but that's not the only reason.
[169] Okay.
[170] I'm pretty sure it turned out that he had been enrolled at a few different high schools in the area over the past several years and every time he got to graduating age, he would switch schools and start over it with a new name and a different age.
[171] What a weirdo.
[172] He must have had great skin, though.
[173] The news reports contained warnings that he was armed and extremely dangerous.
[174] There was a manhunt by police and the U .S. Marshals to find him.
[175] There would be heightened security at my school until he was found.
[176] My dad is telling me this.
[177] And since my reaction is to feeling overwhelmed as to cry, I'd just start bawling.
[178] My dad stops and asks why I'm crying.
[179] I'm so overwhelmed.
[180] Someone is dead.
[181] My classmate is a murderer.
[182] U .S. Marshals are on a manhunt.
[183] I can't put my thoughts into words.
[184] So instead, I say sobbing heavily.
[185] but daddy was so good at badman oh my god two and a half years later he was found out of the country extradited back to the u .s sentenced to 20 years for first degree murder my high school now requires proof of age for enrollment you think jenny wow dad you don't understand we could be eloquent all the time wouldn't that be nice it's difficult we played badman in my high school for gym It was just one of the main...
[186] So you know a bad mittens is?
[187] Absolutely.
[188] It's just like, it's lighter tennis.
[189] It's just smaller, longer handled rackets.
[190] Tell me this.
[191] Did you feel British when you were playing it?
[192] Yes.
[193] I felt high class.
[194] Except for one time my partner, um, killed someone.
[195] No. And switched schools and, no. She went to hit and it, her, somehow the racket came down.
[196] And I was wearing one of those really thin plastic goody headbands.
[197] Uh -huh.
[198] Remember those that were just like, They barely held my hair back anyway.
[199] She went like that and it just like shattered in a thousand pieces.
[200] It was really hilarious.
[201] That's badminton.
[202] Those are your memories from badminton.
[203] That's badminton for me. You should listen to the podcast, badminton memories.
[204] Also, we had to play it in front of the boys who, while the girl gym class was doing badminton, the boys lifted weights.
[205] So they were just like standing around lifting weights and watching us play badminton.
[206] Sexism in society.
[207] It's just, you know.
[208] It's every.
[209] it was a difficult time.
[210] It's in P .E. Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[211] Absolutely.
[212] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[213] Exactly.
[214] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[215] But did you know that they also power in person sales?
[216] That's right.
[217] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[218] Give your point of sales system a serious upgrade.
[219] with Shopify.
[220] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[221] So give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[222] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[223] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can't too.
[224] Connect with customers in line and online.
[225] Do retail right with Shopify.
[226] Sign up for a $1 per month promo code is all lowercase.
[227] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[228] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[229] Goodbye.
[230] Hey, this is exciting.
[231] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[232] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[233] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[234] Who killed Saz?
[235] And were they really after Charles?
[236] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[237] This season, murder hits close to home with a third.
[238] right against one of their own.
[239] The stakes are higher than ever.
[240] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[241] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[242] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[243] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Davey, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[244] Only murders in the building premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[245] Bye.
[246] Goodbye.
[247] Okay.
[248] My grandma is ride or die as fuck is this.
[249] Hey, MFM crew.
[250] My best friend and I geek out over your podcast.
[251] I'm a Karen.
[252] She's a Georgia every week and we can't wait to see you ladies in Minneapolis next month.
[253] Yay.
[254] My grandma is a former biker wife with a treasure trove of outrageous stories.
[255] Up until recently, my personal fave was the one where she ran away to join a circus in order to avoid being kidnapped as you do.
[256] Wow.
[257] Last summer, my family stumbled upon some documents outlining my grandparents' involvement in their neighbor's murder years ago, and that's when the ultimate grandma's story was revealed.
[258] A long time ago, my grandpa hired a guy to kill a neighbor he had a vendetta with.
[259] Whoa.
[260] Long story short, after the killer did the deed, he panicked, fled the scene, and hidden a bush across the street.
[261] From her window, my grandma noticed him hiding, so she opened the door to her apartment and beckoned him inside.
[262] When the police showed up at her door later that day, grandma proceeded to hide the killer, all caps, under my mother's crib.
[263] Whoa.
[264] And threw a robe on over her clothes, must have her hair and answered the door.
[265] Upon being asked if she had noticed any commotion that day, grandma told police she hadn't seen anything because she'd been napping, which would be true in my case.
[266] I'm not condoning murder by any means.
[267] Sounds like you are.
[268] And both grandma and grandpa ended up doing their time.
[269] But I do love the story in how it speaks to my grandma's loyalty and the wild tumultuous life she's loved, loved and lived, just lived.
[270] She now spends her days watching Unsolved Mystery Reruns and eating chili, cheese burritos that she buys in bulk from Taco Bell.
[271] Yes!
[272] SSTGML.
[273] Okay, she needs to write a book.
[274] Immediately.
[275] She needs to write a book.
[276] Immediately, immediately.
[277] Email us at My Favorite Murder at Gmail and send us your hilarious and tragic and weird and mostly hilarious hometown stories.
[278] Yes.
[279] And stay sexy.
[280] And don't get murdered.
[281] Bye.