The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett XX
[0] Did you know that the DariVosio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[1] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life, and the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany and Austria.
[2] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[3] And along with the Dyeravisio channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV.
[4] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a Cio channel.
[5] right now.
[6] What kind of dad do you want to become?
[7] Because you've got a kid on the way now.
[8] Congrats again.
[9] Yeah, thanks.
[10] It's really hard to say this because I know that every first time prospective parent goes, oh, I'm going to be the best dad.
[11] And actually, you know, invariably we'll all fuck up at some point.
[12] It's going to happen.
[13] I just, I think for me, if I can have a child and if I can instill in them the waste of time in anxiety, like they're just the just the sheer nonsense of it like i really want them to understand that worrying does nothing you know yes all right we can be stressed about things there are times when life is hard and things there's challenges to overcome but you overcome those challenges when they present themselves there's no my therapist one said to me when you worry you rob yourself twice right because the first time round, you're overwhelmingly thinking about nothing but a potential problem, which may never rear its head.
[14] If it doesn't rear its head, then you've wasted time worrying about it.
[15] If it does rear its head, then you're forced into action because you can't stay in that situation.
[16] So why stress about something that's never going to happen or, you know, something that you will solve if it does happen?
[17] So I really want my child to understand, just be content, I think, and to know that both me and Sarah and all of our families.
[18] So my siblings, my mum, Sarah siblings and her parents will always be there to help, you know.
[19] I think that if I can do that, then I'll have done a good job.
[20] I also want to make sure I'm around enough.
[21] My job totally allows that.
[22] Like, I have time.
[23] I can work as little as much as I want.
[24] That's the beauty of my job.
[25] Obviously, I'll work less.
[26] I earn less.
[27] But, you know, I can make those sacrifices.
[28] I don't at the moment.
[29] that's my problem.
[30] I work constantly because I like what I do and because of the constant, it's anxiety.
[31] I'm constantly worried about if I take my foot off the gas, what happens next?
[32] I find that fascinating, but I picked up on that before we started recording.
[33] Right.
[34] Because every time we talked about your screenplays or other things you're working on, you would then end the sentence with, but I might lose it all.
[35] Right.
[36] And I, I don't resonate.
[37] Like, I found that interesting because it's not how I end my sentences.
[38] Right.
[39] But it was, it was like you would tell me something and then you would also then almost caveat at the end with there is a chance I might not I might not get it or I might lose it all and I find it particularly because I don't think in that way right so where does that come from in you this my mum right 100 % again she's wonderful she has like an ethos it's not a saying but it's an ethos which is like a day doing nothing is a day wasted um she can't relax I can't relax as a consequence um if I'm sitting there just chilling even if I'm watching a film which for me I consider as research because I write films right if I'm watching something I'm like oh okay I see what they're doing there and it's like I don't watch them passively I'm constantly thinking about them um but even if I'm sitting there watching a film I'm like oh I shouldn't be doing it 9 p .m right it's the evening and I'm supposed to be relaxing and I'm sitting there going I shouldn't be doing this I shouldn't be doing this that's my biggest what's your brain saying in that moment it's telling me off it's going dude you need to be you can't just be sitting here watching You need to be working and making.
[40] What if this all goes wrong?
[41] How are you going to earn the money?
[42] How are you going to afford to look after your child and pay the mortgage and, you know, all that stuff?
[43] A lot of people will resonate with that.
[44] For sure.
[45] And you've addressed it in therapy.
[46] Yeah.
[47] What have you learned?
[48] I learned that I do it.
[49] Which a lot of people don't even know, right?
[50] That self -awareness of knowing that it's a problem you have.
[51] And it's taken me, I've been seeing my therapist for Christ, six, seven years.
[52] years, something like that.
[53] How often?
[54] It varies.
[55] If I'm going through a moment, then more often at the moment, like once every six weeks, because I'm pretty chill.
[56] But it's taken her most of our time together just to crack that.
[57] And she's sort of said, you know, with me, it's my biggest strength and also my biggest floor.
[58] It just depends on where it is on the dial.
[59] Like, if I've got that at seven, it's great, because I'm motivated and I'm enjoying my work, and I'm loving it, and I'm sitting there and God, I'm really good at this.
[60] You know, and I'm typing away or doing whatever I'm doing.
[61] If it's an eight or a nine, it's torture.
[62] Paralyzed or?
[63] Yeah, often paralyzed.
[64] Often paralyzed ironically into doing nothing because I'm so busy stressing about getting it done.
[65] I don't get it done because I've got no brain space because it's too busy whizzing around in my head going, get it done, get it done, get it done.
[66] So there's a point where it's sort of really ironically kind of.
[67] of just, it's the antithesis of what it's designed for.
[68] Yeah.
[69] And I think I get a lot of that from my dad because I remember being young, knowing that it was easier to be busy and keep myself separate.
[70] So I used to draw, I'd be low.
[71] I'd be really arty.
[72] And I just want things I really, yeah, sit out of harm's way.
[73] So you would draw in the corner because you felt safe if he, if you were busy and he wasn't, you know, I wasn't in his, in his eyeline.
[74] I couldn't be chastised or it was safer.
[75] The thing of my dad, he was very unpredictable.
[76] So, which is terrifying for a kid, right?
[77] Because you don't know if you're going to get love or you're going to get punishment for the same action.
[78] So I was spend most of my time just kind of getting on with stuff.
[79] And because of that, I've developed a real independence, a real creativity.
[80] But if it's turned up too high, it's crippling.
[81] Whereas if it's at a good number, then it's what's got me to where I am.
[82] I 100 % would not be here without that because it just wouldn't work as hard as I do.
[83] But I don't need to work as hard as they do.
[84] You know, human beings have a couple of things they need to do.
[85] They need to sleep.
[86] They need to eat.
[87] They have the option of procreating.
[88] That's kind of it, right?
[89] What else is there?
[90] The rest of it is just made up, right?
[91] The rest of it is just made up shit that we've given ourselves to do.
[92] Society has told us that in order to be a complete person, we need to climb.
[93] Right, totally.
[94] And it's bloody stressful.
[95] It's debilitating sometimes.
[96] So when I have that turned up too high, I end up doing nothing.
[97] But I worry myself.
[98] And Sarah's like, where have you gone?
[99] like I just disappear and I don't talk.
[100] I don't like, I haven't been like this for a while because I'm pretty good at recognising the signs and I know to take my foot off the gas a bit because of, you know, all the therapy I've had.
[101] But yeah, it's the bloody worst.
[102] What has helped you?
[103] Therapy, yeah, absolutely that.
[104] Being aware of it is a point.
[105] I always say this because I've actually, a couple of my best mates have, I don't know a guy that's my age.
[106] Doesn't need it, by the way.
[107] So a couple of my best mates, I've put them in touch with therapists or sort of said something.
[108] You know, I think you should see someone.
[109] Actually, we're really open and honest with each other.
[110] We're constantly looking out.
[111] If one of us is quiet on the group chat, we'll go, dude, all right, you've been a bit quiet.
[112] I said to him at a time, I was like, there's a really tough point with therapy where you start seeing someone.
[113] At first, you're really resistant.
[114] You're like, no, I'm fine.
[115] What are you talking about?
[116] But when they point things out to you, like, shit, I'm not fine.
[117] But you're aware of doing it, but you have no tools in place of how to stop doing it.
[118] or how to at least challenge it.
[119] So you're just punishing yourself for doing it.
[120] Like, I remember going through that stage for a long time going, I hate that I'm failing.
[121] I hate that I'm still stressing out about being, like, working constantly or not working constantly or whatever it is.
[122] I hate that I'm doing it to myself, but I can't stop.
[123] And you feel a bit like a junkie, you know, in a way that you're like, you know it's wrong.
[124] You know you shouldn't be doing it, but you can't, you can't not.
[125] And actually, it takes a while to learn the techniques.
[126] You know?
[127] Mine is as simple as it's painful that I have to go, right, stop.
[128] Just don't do it.
[129] Take a step away from your laptop, step away from your camera, do whatever it is you doing.
[130] Have five minutes.
[131] If you feel better after five minutes, go back to it.
[132] If not, then take the rest of the day off.
[133] And that's what I have to do.
[134] I need to be, Sarah needs to keep me in check quite a lot.
[135] Because if I, sometimes it stinks up on me and I'm kind of like at stage four before I even realize it.
[136] And I'm like, shit, I'm in too deep.
[137] So she's often like, dude, come back.
[138] And that's really helpful.
[139] It's hard, though, because you don't want to be told by someone that you're not performing the way you should.
[140] You know what I mean?
[141] Especially someone that matters, right?
[142] Right, totally.
[143] Especially when it's already your weakness.
[144] But you need to be, like I actually really like criticism.
[145] So it's good for me. Like, you know, if I send someone some work or something and they go, oh, okay, as long as it's constructive, you know, they go, okay, I see what you're doing here, don't like that.
[146] That's not great.
[147] I thrive on that because I'm back in there and I'm, you know, So I think having other third parties be like, you're not doing right right now.
[148] And that's something that I really want to be totally aware of when it comes to my child.
[149] Because I don't want to be an absent father.
[150] I don't want to be a dad that's always going, no, no, no, no, I'm just not my lap, so I'll come back to me five minutes.
[151] I want to be able to, obviously I have to work.
[152] You know, we all have a living.
[153] But I want to be able to have my kid with me and be present, you know, I'm not them think that they're sort of auxiliary or like an afterthought or just an addition.
[154] I want them to know that they are the centre of my universe.
[155] Did you know that the Dariovacio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[156] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life.
[157] And the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany and Austria.
[158] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[159] And along with the Dyer of a CEO channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV Plus.
[160] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a CEO channel right now.