#109 - Ari Shaffir

[0] The Joe Rogan Experience We're married to it It's like us It's not perfect It's obnoxious It lets you know There's a lot of shit in there You would change Who made that song It got really medley really quick I think Brian made it right Didn't you make it I actually made it for the old Crackle show that we were doing Did you just do it in garage band?

[1] That's a mix of the garage band And real instruments And effects It's amazing you can do that Isn't it?

[2] Fuck man It's so easy to do do stuff today.

[3] You're not a trained musician.

[4] Do you play any instruments?

[5] Huh?

[6] Do you play any instruments?

[7] No. You can make that.

[8] I mean, I played instruments my whole life.

[9] Like, I played bassoon, trumpet.

[10] Shut up.

[11] I swear to fucking God.

[12] You played a bassoon?

[13] I played a bassoon.

[14] Which one's the bassoon?

[15] It almost looks like a tube.

[16] I like this big motherfucking crazy thing to play.

[17] I know.

[18] Why did you play that?

[19] Because I wanted to play an instrument bad.

[20] And you hate pussy as well.

[21] No, it was.

[22] It was like, I think you had to do it.

[23] You had to pick an instrument growing.

[24] up and I would I like the trumpet but after a while it's just you know what's the hardest one I thought the trumpet's the coolest one no no trumpet yeah the trumpet wasn't that weird though that we just made that distinction we both agreed like the bassoon is like the fuck kind of stupid instrument is a bassoon meanwhile the trumpet is like yeah that's pretty dope like to learn to play the trumpet that's cool people like you would stand outside a woman's like window with a trumpet right so why is that I don't know why isn't that weird that's a weird distinction and it's a one we kind of all agree on.

[25] I mean, I'm sure there's some bassoon officinados out there, but if you had to ask the average person, you play a bassoon, they're like, get the fuck out of here.

[26] But it's like, yeah, I play a trumpet.

[27] Damn, this cool jazz guy in my house.

[28] Who gets laid more?

[29] The best trumpeteer or the best bassoonist?

[30] Yeah, when I think of Trumpets, I think of like Denzel Washington and Mo Betta Blues where I like, I remember watching that, he's like cleaning his trumpet and shit.

[31] I was like, this motherfucker loves that thing.

[32] You know?

[33] He's toning it up and polishing it and girls want to fuck him.

[34] He's like, I got to practice, baby.

[35] I got to practice.

[36] I'm always practicing.

[37] It's like, it inspired me. I thought the trumpet was actually the easiest to learn.

[38] Really?

[39] To the most point.

[40] Not the easiest to master probably, but that was easy.

[41] The secret to trumpet is just knowing how to blow it.

[42] It's like using your mouth going that.

[43] Oh, just learned.

[44] You mean just learn how to actually play something?

[45] Yeah.

[46] It is fucking amazing when you see a dude who really knows how to play, though.

[47] I saw Dizzy Gillespie when I was a little kid.

[48] Really?

[49] Yeah, when I was living in San Francisco.

[50] Wow.

[51] They had a one of the, you got to go into a cool school.

[52] man public school in san francisco in the 70s was pretty bad ass yeah and uh they took us all to see uh dizzy gillespie and he was a crazy one because they you're not supposed to go and blow your your cheeks out like a fish that's not like the proper technique but that's how he did it and his his his cheeks were crazy they would blow out like a frog's yeah like he got i guess he has like really powerful lungs and flexible skin and because his fucking lungs are so powerful because been playing trumpet for so long when he blows it when he would he's dead now when he would blow out his face it was like yeah it was crazy yeah and i went to see him and i was amazed that this guy can do all this with this make all this noise out of this one little instrument just because he knows it you know he knows like if he pulls it back just this much it'll make that much of a difference and if he hits this key and blows a little extra hard it'll hit that special note that he wants and there's so much variation in the notes you know it's amazing it's It's an amazing instrument.

[53] The bassoon?

[54] What you think it's, son?

[55] You know what it was gross?

[56] The bassoon, when you were a poor kid, they had ones that you can rent from the school, kind of like a library book.

[57] And so the bassoon that I had looked like, it looked like something from the black hole, like one of those old robots or something.

[58] It was just this beat up, rusted looking gross thing.

[59] And like the spit valve was rusted.

[60] Oh, my God.

[61] Like, you know, like the pipe where you open up the spit and you blow out the spit, that was just all rusted.

[62] I remember that being so gross.

[63] That was other people spit roast.

[64] Dude, that's disgusting.

[65] Yeah.

[66] You had to get a used bassoon.

[67] Yeah.

[68] I didn't play that as long as the trumpet.

[69] I played trumpet probably for two years or so.

[70] Yeah, because it's not just the bassoon, right?

[71] It's the bassoon.

[72] Could you play Revely right now if you needed to?

[73] Yeah, I wouldn't know what I could play.

[74] Did you play?

[75] I could play it, but I wouldn't know anything to play.

[76] You know what I mean?

[77] I could blow it and it would sound right.

[78] So you couldn't play Revely?

[79] What's that?

[80] That's when they wake up in the morning I used to be able to play it Yeah But do you still remember it right now No Fuck no It's like I can't even remember Spanish I took Spanish for four years I don't I remember Ola Mota What's Mota?

[81] What's Mota?

[82] Weed Yeah Sea you know C Tall is alto Gordo Gordo is fat I know all the things people would call me I don't know people We're talking shit about you in Spanish That's what you got good at Yeah, it was all body parts, drugs, and passwords.

[83] Just curse words, yeah.

[84] That's what everybody does.

[85] Whenever you had a new kid that came from Russia, like, dude, okay, how do you say bitch?

[86] Yeah.

[87] Just tell me the keys.

[88] Verde green.

[89] Broho, right.

[90] So, Ari, how was crackers?

[91] You were in Indiana?

[92] Oh, yeah, Indianapolis, Indiana.

[93] It was fun.

[94] How much skeet shooting?

[95] It was totally cool.

[96] What's that?

[97] It was where they shoot the...

[98] Yeah, where you got a yellow pole and this fucking disc flies and you shoot it with a real shotgun.

[99] Yeah.

[100] You fucking blow it up.

[101] twice.

[102] Is that your first time shooting anything?

[103] No, I've shot stuff before.

[104] I went as in Israel.

[105] We used to go to the, um, the rifle range a bunch.

[106] They let the tickets out there, but you lie on your stomach there.

[107] I think it was the first time standing up with a shotgun.

[108] Do you have, but it blows up.

[109] It's so cool.

[110] You just have to track it and fucking shoot it.

[111] Was it really trippy?

[112] Uh, no, I wouldn't describe it as trippy at all.

[113] Are you feeling any after effects of the Salvia trip that you had recently?

[114] You know, I missed that place.

[115] Have you been any afterthoughts?

[116] What?

[117] Do you have any afterthoughts now that you've, uh, That doesn't stay with you that long.

[118] It kind of goes away.

[119] For the listeners, he had a pretty much a breakdown on Salvia where you started flailing your legs.

[120] You started...

[121] Yeah, yeah.

[122] I thought you were fucking with me. Right.

[123] Did you realize, looking back now, do you realize that Sam Tripoli was fucking you by saying shit like, I think he's dead?

[124] Oh, no, I looked at it again.

[125] It's just me completely not trusting you.

[126] Well, nobody has any idea what the fuck you're talking about.

[127] I was waiting for me to join in.

[128] This is the most ridiculous conversation ever See what happens when I let you talk?

[129] You were typing away I don't know where you were.

[130] Well, I was trying to find this thing because I wanted to ask you about there's a story on CNN today And I know that for those who don't know Ari spent a good deal of his life Studying Judaism and the Talmud And you were explaining your whole situation For people who know I was in Yashiva and Israel for two years I was super religious It's like this dormitory You just spend morning to night studying You can live around Israel too You know, you see the country But you know, most of your day 9 to 5 It's really like 8 to fucking 10 p .m. Just studying all day long With a break for lunch Break for dinner And the services.

[131] Wow.

[132] Yeah.

[133] It was super cool.

[134] It was super rewarding.

[135] I was good at it.

[136] And then I came home and lost my religion And that's why I'm a comedian.

[137] And, you know, how do you go from that to as extreme as you are now?

[138] How do you make that leap?

[139] What was it?

[140] What was it that made you lose your religion?

[141] I just really thought about it.

[142] I really honestly thought, inside, do I believe in God?

[143] And it just wasn't there.

[144] It just wasn't there.

[145] For the first time, I thought about it.

[146] And I'm like, I don't, like, when I think about, you know, you don't have this core beliefs in your system, you know?

[147] Summer's warm or whatever it is.

[148] Like, you just believe these things.

[149] That's a bad example.

[150] But it just wasn't in there.

[151] It's not in there.

[152] I don't know if you believe in God or not.

[153] But it's like, you either believe or you don't believe, especially when it comes to a leap of faith where it's like, there's no proof for it.

[154] Yeah, I don't think it's a believe or not believe.

[155] I think it's, I don't know.

[156] No, that's my answer to all that shit.

[157] I don't know, but religion.

[158] My answer is if it was an argument about anything else except religion, using the same proofs, you'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[159] There's no proof for it.

[160] Get fucked.

[161] It's no, well, it's, people have a weird desire to think that there's an answer to all this.

[162] Yeah.

[163] It's, it's, and if you, like, challenge their, their, their thought that they believe in, they'll get so angry they want to fight you and kill you.

[164] Yeah, but I thought it's supposed to be a leap of faith.

[165] So you've taken that leap.

[166] So why?

[167] And they're mad if you don't.

[168] Or they're mad if you question why they did.

[169] But look, believe whatever the fuck you want to believe, folks.

[170] We're not telling you.

[171] This is why I wanted to bring this up to you.

[172] So for some people, it helps, man. I know people that need religion.

[173] They need God.

[174] They need some idea.

[175] Some fucking fiber, some path that they can follow, something tangible.

[176] You know, and the Bible to them, it does it.

[177] I don't know, whatever.

[178] Do whatever the fuck you want.

[179] If that's what you need, good for you.

[180] Some people need Prozac.

[181] You know what I'm saying?

[182] Yeah.

[183] It's okay.

[184] No worries.

[185] But here's the question.

[186] I know you studied ancient Hebrew and you studied.

[187] Did you study a lot of the Old Testament?

[188] Oh, yeah.

[189] Well, there's a research group in Canada that is according to CNN that has just proved, and this is the story that they published, that the Old Testament has been massively mistranslated and follows three years of research, which is uncovered that the actual system for translating ancient Hebrew is the group discovered that each letter is not a letter at all.

[190] but a full word.

[191] And what was believed to be a word is actually a sentence like a description, which supplies the definition of the word.

[192] So what's a sentence?

[193] A fucking paragraph?

[194] I don't know.

[195] It's a good question.

[196] I don't understand this.

[197] This is one of the reasons why I wanted to bring this up to you, because I know you have a lot of knowledge about this shit about ancient Hebrew.

[198] So is what they're saying making any sense to you?

[199] What they're saying basically is that...

[200] I sort of get it.

[201] They used to think, as far as...

[202] I know.

[203] My limited understanding, they used to believe that every letter is also a number.

[204] Yeah, they still believe that.

[205] They believe that.

[206] So there's no, there's no numbers in ancient Hebrew, right?

[207] It's all letters and numbers are all the same thing.

[208] Yeah, if you want to show that it was chai, it's just, it's a sign for life, but it's, it means eight, and Yud means 10, so it's 18.

[209] So people usually give gifts.

[210] The gift of life is the greatest gift, so the gift gifts in units of 18.

[211] Wow, that's a really badass thing, a language that's like that when you think about it.

[212] a language where it's all like numbers and letters are all intertwined.

[213] And like words have numerical value to them, right?

[214] Yeah, all of them.

[215] So it's like you can figure shit out that way.

[216] So really any sort of translation of that into something else like Latin?

[217] Fuck, you must be losing almost all of it, right?

[218] Yeah.

[219] You can still, if you don't know the language, you won't get the meaning.

[220] Right.

[221] It's impossible.

[222] So you have to translate it.

[223] You have to read a translation.

[224] Does what they're saying make any sense to you?

[225] It makes sense, but I don't see how that could be.

[226] I mean, they know what the, a lot of those words are.

[227] do they make sense and sentences yeah they still exist today in the same the same word so how could they be saying this then and that sounds like they're full shit it sounds like nonsense i don't understand i'd have to really see what they were talking about exactly i would think it's when some shit gets on cnn that they've done some filtering of it and they know that they're right CNN might not be reporting exactly right or something i'm just not sure i don't know what that would be yeah well and all they have to do is really say a research group in canada look it's interesting shit you know even if it's not correct it's interesting shit and CNN is in the business of getting people to pay attention to interesting shit yeah you know when I go to CNN .com one of the reasons why it goes because every now and then they'll have some weird ass fucking story like this CNN yeah CNN has some good stories man you know you think of CNN as being like the mainstream uh website for for news and it is but there's you know there's some fucking fascinating shit on there whenever I go to those sites I just go to the wacky section the wacky section the wacky section is always a wacky section you know what let me look for the wacky news.

[228] It's like, man arrests himself after too many bananas.

[229] You know?

[230] Yeah, I used to have a friend that would scour those for jokes every day.

[231] Whenever I write packets.

[232] If ever I write packets for like a late -night talk show or something, that's all I look for.

[233] Do you really?

[234] You'll give me a fuck.

[235] What story am I going to do about speaker of the house not coming to the fucking vote today?

[236] I have nothing to say about any of that stuff anymore.

[237] Yeah.

[238] I don't want to talk about it.

[239] But if somebody tried to shoot a cockroach.

[240] with a speedboat.

[241] I want to fucking know.

[242] It's so sad to be in that state of mistrust of the government and just not, and thinking that the system is so completely fucked that you just don't want to, like, stop it.

[243] Don't even talk about it to me. Did you hear what the Democrats do on the floor today?

[244] Shut up.

[245] Shut up, World of Warcraft.

[246] Here's my new deal.

[247] You just talk to me about your wizards.

[248] It's the same shit.

[249] When people say, like, all Republicans are just fucking idiots, Midwestern morons, it's just so silly to write half the country without, that they can't, can't have any point at all.

[250] I agree with Republicans on a lot of shit.

[251] A lot of it's just gun control shit.

[252] Separation of taste.

[253] Yeah.

[254] Well, it's, if everybody would be like old school conservative Republican the way it was supposed to be, it would be smaller business, smaller government, get the fuck out of our lives, live people alone, leave people have personal freedom.

[255] But somewhere along the line, conservative didn't become that.

[256] You know, being a Republican wasn't about, it wasn't about limited government.

[257] It's just like all things.

[258] They become, what is the most profitable?

[259] What's the best way to do this?

[260] Well, the best way to do this is be completely intertwined with business, so they're fucking robbing the world and bribing us all the time.

[261] Well, that's how we do it.

[262] Let's just do it that way.

[263] And so that's where it is.

[264] You know, so Republican or Democrat or whatever the fuck it is, it's all just some shell game that involves people making absurd amounts of money, doing shit that most people wouldn't want them doing.

[265] You know?

[266] Yeah.

[267] So it doesn't matter.

[268] Well, offshore drilling.

[269] and all sorts of creepy fucking shit that goes on with...

[270] Germany said they want to get rid of nuclear power plants as is Sweden.

[271] Sweden is powering off their shit too.

[272] By 2050 they want to be completely off.

[273] They're fucking smart, man. They just have to figure out how to make it like renewable, not how to use those renewable ones and how to make it like store the energy.

[274] Dude, it's the scariest thing in the world.

[275] The idea that they've created some area that you cannot go to for the next, who knows how many fucking thousand years.

[276] But that spot, that one spot will fuck you up a thousand years from now.

[277] They said they didn't go to that spot.

[278] You couldn't eat vegetables for like.

[279] like six months or a year.

[280] They said there's still some berries.

[281] 25 years later, you still can't eat because they store it in a certain way.

[282] Are they researching like a thing to stop that or to fix that?

[283] Like a goo that they could spray in the air, you know what I mean?

[284] I don't know.

[285] I mean, I'm sure they are.

[286] It seems like a. That would be worth some research.

[287] It's a pretty elemental problem.

[288] I mean, what you've done is created nuclear fission or fusion.

[289] Which one is it?

[290] Sounds good.

[291] It's one of those.

[292] It's fission or fusion or one of them is a bomb and one of them is, the sun.

[293] One of them is a nuclear power plant.

[294] Somebody reminded me this on Twitter.

[295] Which one's in Fanta?

[296] When I was joking around, because I always joke around that, like, these guys in Japan have made a sun in the middle of the field, and now they can't shut it off.

[297] I mean, really is kind of what it's like.

[298] I mean, I know it's not exactly the same thing, but it is something preposterously powerful that you can't even fucking go near, and we created it.

[299] Why don't we just use that as where to put all the world's garbage?

[300] That's not a bad idea.

[301] Right?

[302] Like, hey, this area sucks.

[303] This area sucks.

[304] So this area is just, going to be a Tetris of nasty shit.

[305] Yeah, fly over and just dump it.

[306] Yeah, that's actually a wonderful idea.

[307] I know.

[308] I like it a lot.

[309] Or prison cells.

[310] No, that's, now you're pushing it.

[311] Dude, did you...

[312] Make it a reality show.

[313] Did you...

[314] Watch some morph.

[315] Yeah.

[316] There's the latest thing on this large Hadron Collider situation is that the large Hadron Collider...

[317] talking about shit that you can never get away from.

[318] The Large Hadron Collider has created...

[319] a gluon quark a quark glue on plasma and it's many many times more dense than a neutron star this shit is so dense that if a you'd have a sugar cube size of it it's like 40 billion pounds okay that's what are they going to do with that how do they do that?

[320] How do they make that?

[321] Is that around?

[322] They made that on their way to blowing up the fucking world is how they made it.

[323] If I was in that hot ladder, hot truck, ladder I'd figure out a way to do jousting in it.

[324] It's the densest matter available.

[325] It's, it's like impossible to us for us even wrap our heads around how dense this shit is.

[326] What's really crazy about that is it's nothing compared to the density of the original universe according to the big bank theory.

[327] The big bank theory states that the entire universe was smaller than the head of a pin.

[328] Somehow or another, just one point of infinite density.

[329] Popped open.

[330] And it just exploded and created everything.

[331] I mean, it's a very controversial theory.

[332] There's a bunch of other ones that other people believe in like brains like membranes theories that there's like every universe is like a membrane sometimes they collide with each other and it's a never -ending cycle and then then there's another there's a bunch of different theories of constant expansion and contraction and that's what the universe does infinitely just constantly expands and contracts forever just like your breath that stuff used to interest me when I was in sixth grade that's when I was super into that when I found out the universe open and closed and then I just sort of stopped you just got tired it was like I guess.

[333] There's a lot of shit, I don't understand.

[334] That doesn't, but, you know, it doesn't affect you so you don't think about it.

[335] I guess.

[336] I just stop thinking about it.

[337] Man, I'm obsessed with all that shit.

[338] I'm obsessed with anything nutty like this that I don't think anybody's paying attention to.

[339] Especially this quark, glue -on plasma, whatever the fuck it is.

[340] That just...

[341] If you had your choice, would you have them shut down the large hundred collider until you could look into it further?

[342] No, no, I think it's natural.

[343] I think what people are doing, I don't want to be anywhere near it, But I think what people are doing is a natural thing.

[344] I think that we have a built -in tendency towards accelerating technology.

[345] We cannot stop.

[346] We can't help ourselves.

[347] We need to know.

[348] We need to know what happens when I do this.

[349] What happens when I do that?

[350] I mean, look, what they're doing there, they're spending, there's 10 ,000 scientists from 100 different countries.

[351] They have spent billions and billions of dollars.

[352] And none of what they're doing is going to help pull oil out of the ocean or fix our food problem.

[353] or fix our...

[354] What are they trying to do or are they just trying to see?

[355] What they're trying to do is create a...

[356] They're trying to create a God particle.

[357] There's a theoretical particle called the Higgs -Bosson particle and this is a particle that existed milliseconds after the Big Bang.

[358] And it's this theoretical particle if they can prove its existence it puts a lot of the pieces together of like some sort of a unified theory of what creates the universe, what the universe is made on, what's matter made out of them.

[359] They don't even know if it's real.

[360] They're trying to make it.

[361] And on their way to ramp up, up to make it they're making shit like this quark glue on whatever the fuck it is so what if they make this particle then what do they get well if they do they they also get little black holes that's one of the things they get this is a a real issue that uh some people are concerned with some scientists say you don't have to worry about it because it's just going to disappear because they they can't their mass can't can't exist you know like there's uh they're they're too small they don't have enough gravity and they disappear but like fucking how do you know man. Nobody's ever made a black hole before, shithead.

[362] You know, you're just out there pressing buttons and I'm not saying they shouldn't be doing it.

[363] I'm not saying they shouldn't be doing it.

[364] Don't get me wrong.

[365] Because people are you stifling science?

[366] As if, you know, science at the, you have to look at it all objectively, man. Science doesn't get a free pass.

[367] You have to look at it all objectively.

[368] You have to look at what the fuck they're doing.

[369] What are they doing?

[370] You're smashing atoms together and you guys are playing with rocks.

[371] You guys are crazy.

[372] You guys are egghead, genius motherfuckers that talk some people into letting you break a fucking hole through this dimension.

[373] That's what you're doing.

[374] This is like, you know what this is like?

[375] This is like half -life.

[376] This is like that goddamn video game.

[377] Remember that?

[378] They blew a hole through another dimension and giant crabs came out and fuck people up.

[379] I'm picturing you sitting in front of a computer at 3 .30 in the morning and just going, no. I can't out.

[380] Like, no. Get out myself.

[381] Weird.

[382] They're crazy.

[383] People are crazy.

[384] Could you imagine the reviews of the court yard of the mare across the street from the collider, cons across the street from the large Hydeon Collider.

[385] There's nothing anywhere news.

[386] There's a Howard Johnson's across the street.

[387] Yeah, there's an I -Hop and they're complaining.

[388] Free breakfast, but across street from Black Hole.

[389] I wonder what it sounds like when Adams collide at light speed.

[390] I bet it sounds like...

[391] What if it sounds like gay porn?

[392] Yeah, I wonder if it sounds like anything, right?

[393] Yeah.

[394] It's probably just...

[395] What if it does sound like, stick it in.

[396] No, you stick it in.

[397] And it won't go away.

[398] For the rest of our life, we have to hear that.

[399] And my thoughts about...

[400] All of a sudden, nobody hears anything for one second.

[401] Right.

[402] The whole world just skips a beat.

[403] And then once it comes right back.

[404] Yeah.

[405] Well, you know, my worry about this is not this necessarily.

[406] It's about what is this spawn?

[407] You know, the atomic weapons that were first created in 1940, whatever, you know, they eventually spawned much more, much smaller compact, much more dangerous atomic.

[408] Much more powerful atomic weapons.

[409] What is this going to spawn?

[410] You know, they're not going to stop at the large Hadron Collider.

[411] A hundred years from now, they're not going to be sitting around going, well, there's no need to keep fucking around with things.

[412] Never ending, search for more knowledge.

[413] Yeah, well, they're never having searched for more knowledge.

[414] And fucking with things.

[415] Pressing buttons, seeing what happens.

[416] There's the themes of Alisagena.

[417] Do you remember the movie Black Hole?

[418] No. What was that?

[419] It's where it's a Disney movie.

[420] It's like the first R -rated Disney movie.

[421] It was about a black hole going into a black hole.

[422] Whoa.

[423] What happens?

[424] What movie was this?

[425] I'm not going to get, uh, 1980, 82.

[426] Oh, it must have been awesome.

[427] Oh, it's bad ass.

[428] It must have been awesome.

[429] It was a complete ripoff of like, well, it was not a ripoff, but trying to get on the bandwagon of Star Wars.

[430] Oh, science fiction.

[431] Yeah.

[432] Well, they had robots like R2D2s, but they had to like paint them and make these big eyes on them and stuff like that.

[433] But they're pretty much floating R2D2s.

[434] It's pretty badass.

[435] I would recommend it.

[436] But, but, but, but, uh, badass for being terrible.

[437] Bad ass.

[438] Yeah.

[439] For being done.

[440] Do you remember a good?

[441] Huh?

[442] The end, though, I don't want to give it away.

[443] The end?

[444] Just give it away.

[445] The end is...

[446] No one's going to be heard of this movie.

[447] The end is...

[448] You don't have to worry about spoilers.

[449] The producers will be happy that you.

[450] Do you even mention it?

[451] No, no, no. The end is really fucked up and I would not ruin the end.

[452] But the guy that did...

[453] What?

[454] No. It's fucked up.

[455] You guys want to see this movie.

[456] You guys want to smoke a shitload of weed and see the black hole.

[457] I really don't.

[458] I really have no. You really will want to.

[459] I got to be in the right mood for something terrible.

[460] Huh?

[461] I still got to get to get this story story.

[462] But the guy that did Tron, the Neutron remake, he's now redoing Black Hole.

[463] Oh, okay.

[464] And so it's kind of cool.

[465] The Neutron wasn't bad.

[466] The Neutron wasn't bad.

[467] Really?

[468] It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad.

[469] It was kind of fun.

[470] I went to re -watch the old one and I was like, oh, I don't have any interest in watching this new thing.

[471] Oh, it's good.

[472] It was not bad.

[473] It was not bad.

[474] Yeah, 3D was cool.

[475] I saw a priest last night in 3D.

[476] It was pretty fun.

[477] Which one's priest?

[478] Who is this vampire killer dudes?

[479] Oh, yeah, that looks pretty cool.

[480] Yeah, it's fun.

[481] It's fun, stupid, fun.

[482] Yeah.

[483] I'm going to get Piranha 3D, still haven't seen piranha and I'm going to see it.

[484] It's like a comic book movie, you know?

[485] I want to see The Hangover, too, at Americana.

[486] Why?

[487] They have a thing there where you can get 130 different types of sodas.

[488] Whoa.

[489] You choose your base, like Fanta, Fanta Light, Sprite Zero, Coke Zero, Diet Coke.

[490] And then on top of that, so you can get like, orange flavored, caffeine -free Diet Coke.

[491] Whoa.

[492] Yeah.

[493] You can get, grape, Sprite Zero.

[494] Whoa.

[495] Yeah, you can get, it's awesome.

[496] It's awesome.

[497] It's awesome.

[498] Oh, I set that.

[499] for like 15 minutes.

[500] Oh my good.

[501] The girl I was with is like, Ari, people are waiting.

[502] I'm like, you can let them wait longer.

[503] I haven't seen everything yet.

[504] Wow.

[505] Ari, he held up the line.

[506] Yeah, he would be horrible to be behind.

[507] I know, Ari.

[508] He would dissect every single flavor.

[509] I got lost in it.

[510] Yep.

[511] Sorry, you shouldn't put up that many if you don't expect people to look.

[512] Or how about you let us in early?

[513] I ask the lady specifically, can I get in?

[514] I'm high.

[515] It's going to take me a long time.

[516] And she said not until 20 minutes before the movie.

[517] Have you seen the flashback sodas?

[518] You told you you were high?

[519] Yeah.

[520] I was like, it's going to take me a really long time.

[521] Do you decide what I want?

[522] I'm really high.

[523] Can I just go in now?

[524] I've seen the flashback sodas.

[525] They've taken like Pepsi and Mountain Dew and you can get the old, they have the old cans, and then they have real cane sugar back going back to like real cane sugar.

[526] Do you think they should let stone people in movie theaters early?

[527] Yes, like how they like babies on board airplanes early.

[528] Yes, deal with it.

[529] Because you don't want me stuck a line behind me?

[530] Wheelchairs and babies, right?

[531] Yeah.

[532] With small children.

[533] Absolutely.

[534] Let them on Ford quicker.

[535] It's an impediment at certain points.

[536] It's not a bad idea.

[537] Ari, do you think you over -medicate on marijuana?

[538] Oh, yeah.

[539] No, I mean, I don't know.

[540] What's over -medication?

[541] What does that mean?

[542] You wake up the second you wake up, you smoke weed all the way to the second you go to sleep.

[543] You don't think you do that?

[544] No, I don't do that.

[545] No, I don't do that.

[546] It's completely saying I do, but I don't.

[547] Because you smoke a shitload of weed.

[548] Every time I talk to you're like, I've already had, well, I just wonder.

[549] No, you don't have to call me a liar.

[550] Yeah.

[551] I'll tell you what I do.

[552] I don't care.

[553] I'll admit to anything.

[554] But I don't wake up and start smoking pot.

[555] I usually take all my errands.

[556] Today I didn't.

[557] couldn't go to the bank.

[558] The way you asked him was a tad on the d. No, no, it's true fact that Joey Diaz does the same, you know, he wakes up and smokes weed all day and stuff like that.

[559] Every time I hang out with Ari, Ari's already completely baked out of his mind and it's like noon and every time I hang out with Ari.

[560] Well, maybe he knows he knows he's going to hang out with you.

[561] He wants to get high to make the conversation.

[562] If I go to my pockets, I let's do it like, I don't like to do it right before I go on.

[563] That's just a legitimate question, though.

[564] But you said it, do you say it.

[565] Do you over Medicaid?

[566] No, no, no, no. Later, when you want to explain anything?

[567] When you said, I mean, you wake up the first thing in the morning, and I was like, no, I don't do that.

[568] And you go, okay, you don't think you wake up first thing in the morning and smoke.

[569] Yeah, you said it's a very clear use of the word.

[570] It's kind of dushy.

[571] Well, because that's what I, that's what I, that's what I, that's what I, that's okay.

[572] That's what I, that's okay.

[573] It's okay.

[574] All right, I'm sorry, that came across douchey.

[575] It's all right.

[576] That's not what I was going for.

[577] It's all right, dude.

[578] But the important thing is, the real question is, how often are you getting high all day?

[579] Like, how many days?

[580] I get high every day Every day Damn Shazam You don't take no days off?

[581] If I take a day off You'll probably hear about it It's a noteworthy moment Yeah well You know But at this point I got high for like an hour And then I'm completely fine Right You know Unless I get some honey butter Like I got last night A little bit every day Unless you get like a cookie Yeah cookies in all day Let's have some fun I went to six flags A couple weeks ago Or last week With Eric Abrams And And a sickly Ryan Zickler.

[582] And we all had some of those stuff from NOCC, the banana breads.

[583] I keep hearing about these terrifying.

[584] Stay away from those.

[585] On roller coasters, it was so good.

[586] I had about three quarters of one.

[587] And it was like, oh, my, go, my, Jesus.

[588] Oh, my God.

[589] I couldn't even imagine being that baked on a roller coaster.

[590] It's so great.

[591] Especially six flags.

[592] Those are hard course.

[593] Those are so extreme.

[594] They have one where you strap in and they lift your legs up, so you're just flying.

[595] Yes.

[596] You can only look down into nothingness.

[597] What is that one called X something?

[598] I don't know.

[599] No. X2.

[600] They didn't have an X2.

[601] I don't know if that was that one.

[602] It might have been.

[603] They had X2, the Viper.

[604] It was so fun.

[605] It's so fun.

[606] Season past.

[607] You have to take everything out of your pockets.

[608] You can't have nothing in your pockets around because that shit will go flying.

[609] This is what I did this time.

[610] You get whipped around.

[611] I said, fuck it.

[612] I'm going to wrist my glasses.

[613] What?

[614] Yeah.

[615] I had a hoodie on.

[616] I tied my glasses to the strings of my hoodie.

[617] Yeah?

[618] And it's, they never fell off, though.

[619] They almost got close.

[620] But I was like, if they fall off, fuck it.

[621] I got to hold on and I'm going to die.

[622] Wow.

[623] so it's like yeah but they never fell off they got close and then I managed to push them back dude deaths in amusement parks are like whenever you see that final destination's movie you know those movies where people are dying it's always like a bunch of different I never saw one of them but I have seen I mean I think they must have done like five of them yeah I always see the fucking previews yeah that's great a train hits somebody oh it's so out of control a bus flips over on someone well there's not many deaths on roller coasters and stuff like that really but there is a lot of getting stuck and you don't see that much.

[624] Have you ever seen the video of like the people stuck upside down on a coaster for four hours or something like that?

[625] That's worse than the fucking final destination flying off the track.

[626] Can you imagine being upside down that one?

[627] Oh my God.

[628] And that shit happens all the fucking time.

[629] That's really?

[630] Are you sure?

[631] Yes.

[632] At first it's super scary.

[633] They don't even have to report.

[634] They have to report that?

[635] There's no one dies on that.

[636] It's like safety features worked.

[637] No one got hurt.

[638] Oh my God.

[639] That's terrifying.

[640] Sikler was saying somebody lost their cowboy hat on a ride, and so jumped the fence to get it.

[641] Oh, no. And as he, like, got it, he picked his head up.

[642] Decapitated.

[643] And, uh, obliterated his head.

[644] Somebody hit it with a foot, like it was coming through one of those standing things.

[645] Oh, my God.

[646] And their foot got shattered as they, and he just died instantly.

[647] Oh, my God.

[648] It's like, leave your hat.

[649] Oh, my God.

[650] Climb the fence at her.

[651] Those things go like, like three feet from the ground.

[652] Yeah.

[653] It's so hard.

[654] Oh, people make some fucking terrible decisions, man. Yeah.

[655] Man, people make some terrible goddamn decisions.

[656] But, yeah, those are good days for edibles.

[657] Do you imagine the thought that went through that guy's mind right before that chick's foot went through his mind?

[658] I thought my heart.

[659] Yeah.

[660] Do you even see it coming?

[661] Do you say, oh, my God, I can't get out of here?

[662] Oh, my God, this is too close to the ground.

[663] Yeah, if you're looking right at as you pick up and then just coming around where, yeah, it's too late.

[664] How fast did they go?

[665] So fast.

[666] Well, I know the fastest one was in Abu Dhabi.

[667] They just installed it.

[668] And it was a Ferrari -themed one because we did a UFC there at Ferrari World.

[669] Really?

[670] Yeah, big crazy fucking roller coaster with like, you know.

[671] One of them was listed at over 100 miles an hour, I think.

[672] That's this one.

[673] This one maybe it was before that was built.

[674] This is the fastest one.

[675] This is the newest and fastest.

[676] There was one of six flags that said that.

[677] Yeah.

[678] Yeah.

[679] This is probably the fastest of the one you're talking about.

[680] I think this one is new.

[681] Yeah.

[682] The one in Ferrari World, I think it's like this year.

[683] I'm pretty sure it's the fastest.

[684] one hour.

[685] But if somebody hits your head with their foot at 100 miles an hour.

[686] Oh my God.

[687] Lots of really fast.

[688] It would suck for your foot too, man. Fucking god.

[689] Yeah, her like a shatter because some douche had to pick up his hat.

[690] This cowboy hat.

[691] Yeah, she couldn't ask somebody.

[692] Hey, my hat's there.

[693] Is there anybody I can get it?

[694] What a crazy story she'll have, though.

[695] You know what freaks me out is there's like, those traveling amusement parks that are in parking lots.

[696] We're out of nowhere.

[697] There's like this like roller coaster in the parking lot of a Costco.

[698] Circus.

[699] Yeah, those fake, Like those Mexican Disney worlds.

[700] All the kids from the store went to, got up mushrooms and went to watch it last week, the week before.

[701] That shit's scary, man. I remember my mom taking me to one of those as a kid, and I'm thinking, like, Mom, that's like bad parenting.

[702] Somebody set that up.

[703] You shouldn't be, have control.

[704] Like, you should not be able to choose that for me. Like, I, that's murder.

[705] There was always those down the, I guess like in New Hampshire.

[706] I'm trying to figure out where it would go.

[707] When we go to one of the beaches, one of the beach towns, and there was like those little fucking.

[708] carnival things there and just really wonky roller coasters and shit where you're like really shouldn't be on it it's just a rector sets they're not even real metal it's just a rector sets tons of and they used to have haunted houses and shit and going to the shitty haunted house it's terrible it's like a skeleton with like a light bulb on it yeah you know like something pops up you're like yeah yeah you scare me you fuck it's better than doing nothing yeah we'll go there exactly god i wish i could remember exactly to what beach all this shit was on but they were just the one one whack ass ride after another they were all terrible it was awful just movements and they were all just waiting to go flying off the tracks and into the stands and all those people with their fake IDs at work there would just disappear all the people that owned it you know what was really cool that I just thought of is that I don't know how it was where you guys live but in haunted houses back in the day in Columbus Ohio it used to be like oh that remember that old house in the corner they're about to tear it down, but they're going to make it a haunted house the last year.

[709] And so, like, you go in this house knowing how, seeing it every day as a child, you know, driving by that one old crazy house and then knowing it's going to get torn down right after this haunted house, it feels like that house is just like even a thousand times more scarier.

[710] I remember just going through these old houses, like looking around going, wow, this is an old creepy house that needs to be torn down, you know?

[711] That's a cool idea.

[712] Yeah.

[713] Fucking use it.

[714] What's up with those dudes who do that shit on their, on their, on their, front lawn on Halloween, like, turned their front lawn into like a haunted house.

[715] Child molesters.

[716] There was one we went trick -or -treating and they had a maze.

[717] This guy had built a maze.

[718] I'm like, this is just a rape trap.

[719] Yeah, exactly.

[720] Built a maze with his front lawn.

[721] Have you ever been down to the Venice canals before like Halloween?

[722] No. They all drew up their yards.

[723] It's really awesome.

[724] Really?

[725] That and Christmas lights.

[726] The Venice canals are supposed to be really nice, but I know two people that live there that got robbed.

[727] Really?

[728] Yeah.

[729] Their houses got broken.

[730] Oh, that I could see.

[731] That I could see.

[732] You're right there.

[733] It's like, you know, when you walked in the boardwalk in San Diego, wherever, and you're like, oh, I can see into your living room.

[734] Right.

[735] There's this glass thing.

[736] This living room that you're here only on weekends in the summer.

[737] Yeah.

[738] Well, not only that, there's a lot of our celebrities.

[739] And they say, you know, Eh, I live in the, eth can have.

[740] You know, they want everybody to know where they live because I think it's like a hip spot.

[741] Yeah.

[742] And then like, Jesus, stupid.

[743] There's not that many houses there.

[744] So people just go wandering around.

[745] Hey, look at that.

[746] That's that chick from that fucking TV show.

[747] Let's break in there.

[748] Why not?

[749] They know when you're working.

[750] You're working all day.

[751] You got a 16 -hour -day job hooker.

[752] I'm in Vancouver on set.

[753] Yeah.

[754] I'm like, oh, great.

[755] They're like awesome.

[756] We'll rob your house.

[757] Thanks for the heads up.

[758] I'm going to jerk off in your pillow soon.

[759] I'm not too.

[760] How many people did that?

[761] Jerked off in their pillow probably good.

[762] If you were new, you were in Megan Fox's house, I would definitely at least go over the pillow and just go.

[763] Would you smell her underwear if it was on the ground?

[764] If you said it like that, as you pointed to her underwear.

[765] But I wouldn't think too on my own.

[766] You wouldn't think to on your own?

[767] No, I don't think so.

[768] Is that something all guys do is sniff underwear?

[769] I don't.

[770] I'm not into it.

[771] Pussy, yes.

[772] You've done it, though?

[773] No. You've done it?

[774] Of course.

[775] I've done a lot of things.

[776] Yes, you've done it?

[777] I've done it.

[778] I've masturbated while I was shitting.

[779] Yeah.

[780] Never done that.

[781] To see if I could.

[782] Ten.

[783] Scienceific theory, proven.

[784] What?

[785] Jason keeps his girlfriend's panties in a zip -block bag when she goes out of town just to keep the smell so he can pull it out.

[786] Weird.

[787] And I give her a good tip, and he was like, thanks a lot for that tip.

[788] that before the girl leaves or his girlfriend leaves Daniel needs to take her underwear and stuff it inside of her and it's so much better for the smell why don't you just go over there and blow him that's what you want to do giving him tips hey I know you're really fucked up and creepy with underwear here's a way to get a little more fucked up and creepy take them and put them in a zippy put them in a little zip lock bag maybe like a little you can take a little paper towel and moisten it sort of like you would do if you carry in home cigars.

[789] Yeah, you should do dryer sheet.

[790] Something that really holds the smell.

[791] Yeah, holds the smell and shove that shit up there.

[792] And then get fucking what?

[793] It's important because the smell of good pussy is a delicious thing, but the smell of bad pussy is probably the worst smell.

[794] You can smell next to like some horrible chemical shit that's going to kill you.

[795] Yeah.

[796] The smell of bad, when you smell a girl that has an yeast infection, that is easily the most repuls.

[797] It's worse than shit.

[798] It's the worst thing to have to ignore.

[799] It's a smell that smells worse than shit.

[800] It really does, right?

[801] Wouldn't you agree?

[802] It's like a worse smell than shit.

[803] It's like it's nature's way.

[804] Nature's way of telling you, you don't want this kid.

[805] It's like trying to scare you off.

[806] Nature's trying to scare you off.

[807] The worst is when you look at it.

[808] What happens with those things?

[809] You can get that, first of all, you get that shit on you.

[810] You can get a yeast infection.

[811] A man can get one as well.

[812] You can get, I mean, realize what she's got down there.

[813] What happens when a guy gets an yeast infection?

[814] It smells.

[815] It gets creamy.

[816] Dick cheese?

[817] Yeah, get dick cheese.

[818] I think that's what's a dick cheese is.

[819] what does that mean i think uh it's like some some stuff that's not supposed to be there some some sort of like creetian it's itchy it's excretion it's an it's excretion yeah it comes out of your dick could be from all sorts of pores if you're like cheeses up on you you can get oh it's pretty easy for a girl to get a yeast infection too you know like when you see girls like putting chocolate syrup on them in like porn videos and stuff that's sugar sugar makes use that that gives you a use can easily give you any yeast infection brian is the king of information on how to fuck up a punster's life.

[820] I like, so obviously, that's how you get used to my friends.

[821] Yeah, well, you know, when you're doing those scenes which do come up in everyone's life, you know, lesbians, bags of sugar, whatever, whatever.

[822] That's the afternoons.

[823] Yeah, it's just doing the stuff.

[824] You're the king of that.

[825] Thursday.

[826] It's a weird thing, man. Their bodies are like, you know, I mean, we're all of our bodies, we just don't think about it, or, you know, housing all sorts of different, healthy and non -healthy, friendly bacteria, unfriendly bacteria, you know, all sorts of shit on your skin.

[827] And when you have any sort of an imbalance like that, some sort of a, you know, it could be for women.

[828] It's like, could be their diet.

[829] It could be stuff they eat makes them have yeast infections.

[830] It could be the black shit underneath your fingernail and you just shove it into the girl's pussy.

[831] And next thing you know, she's got WD40 and poop inside of her pussy.

[832] Exactly.

[833] Or you could have a dog and she's allergic to dogs.

[834] You start finger banging her and all of a sudden the inside of her pussy swells up and itches.

[835] You ate shrimp at fucking red lobster and she's allergic, dead.

[836] Death -deathly allergic to red lobster.

[837] Right.

[838] And your red lobster comes out of your dick.

[839] And it's still potent sun.

[840] Tentical porn.

[841] I wonder if you like ate mushrooms and a chick blew you.

[842] Sounds like they're always going to get it no matter what.

[843] Keep her legs shut for Jesus Christ.

[844] I wonder if you ate mushrooms and a chick blew you if she could get some of the effect.

[845] Ooh, I wonder.

[846] I wonder if you could.

[847] Because I know that you could drink piss and the piss actually contains psilocybin.

[848] And it actually takes the trip to the next level.

[849] That's what the shamans tell you're supposed to do.

[850] When you're full on tripping, when you don't think you're, can get any higher, you're supposed to drink your piss.

[851] And when you drink your piss, it's all that psilocybin that's gone through your system and passes through into your urine.

[852] Your urine is basically sterile.

[853] People worry about drinking it, but it's disgusting in thought, but in reality, it's really not that big a deal.

[854] People drink it all the time and stay alive and they get stuck on boats and shit.

[855] You know, I mean, it's either drink your piss and live, or don't drink your piss, and die dehydration stupid.

[856] It's pretty fucking simple.

[857] It's gross.

[858] When you're high as fuck and you drink your piss, apparently the mushrooms can You make you into like another door.

[859] You know, you went through, Brian had a breakthrough mushroom trip that we talked about yesterday where he had like seven grams.

[860] Wow, really?

[861] Seven grams?

[862] The world dissolved and he became a part of some other world.

[863] What?

[864] How much that cost you?

[865] They cost me anything.

[866] Those are the ones you got last minute?

[867] Huh?

[868] Those are the ones you got last minute?

[869] What kind of an inside conversation is this, boys?

[870] We're talking about a very important thing to happen.

[871] You know what I was thinking about.

[872] I saw the story of Pixar the other day.

[873] Like, where did you get it from Bob?

[874] No, did you get it from John?

[875] What about Timmy?

[876] I saw the story of Pixar the other day, and he was talking about how creation of CGI is all, like, triangles.

[877] And when I was having that breakthrough on mushrooms the other day, that's what I was looking at my hand, that everything was triangles.

[878] And so animation, like a person's face and stuff, it's just tons and tons of triangles.

[879] So I'm thinking, wow, what if I broke through and found out that I am a program?

[880] And that's what I was seeing, my hand that was triangles.

[881] Like, I saw, like, the inner programming of my hand.

[882] Well, you know, that's a, like, a huge science.

[883] scientific theory, believe it or not, that the world, the world is some sort of a computer recreation, that our reality is not in fact reality.

[884] It's some sort of an artificial reality that's been created.

[885] No, it's not even the matrixes.

[886] The matrix idea was that we were using like the human body, you know, they had to make it dark and disgusting.

[887] You know, the human body had gotten stuck to this machine and it was like, you know, they were sucking off all the biological power.

[888] Yeah, but mostly that it was just like computer program.

[889] Yeah, sort of.

[890] Yeah.

[891] but it was also sort of like a devious one that was like plotted to keep people down and the idea is that the whole the life that we're living like there is no real world is that everything that you see and encounter is all just a part of your imagination all of it is and this world that you live in this world the people that you interact with are all people that you've created in your mind and it's allipsithic world and you would say well that's that's bullshit because I have my own world and I have my own so you're saying that I can do yes yes that's the theory theory is you have your own universe too and our universe is interact with each other and they can change each other yeah well there's there's a lot of wonky fucking ideas when it comes to you know what is reality and what is what is consciousness and what is our place here wouldn't it be that if you built that universe in your head that everyone else is just a part of your head so they don't really exist they're just telling you no but I said know that too like in your world I'm just saying this but I don't really the idea would be that there would be more than one universe the idea would be that everyone would have their own like their well you could call it a universe but we all exist on the earth yeah we sort of we some somehow or another coexist inside each other's universes and that almost they're almost completely independent of each other but in when when they interact with each other they can change each other back and forth it sounds like total ridiculous hippie talk but if you you know if you look at like scientific interpretations of what a um some sort of a computer program of life would be and how detailed it could get.

[892] Well, with the exponential increase in technology, it can get absolutely unrecognizable.

[893] The computer simulation one day will be impossible to stop it from being as real as real life.

[894] Impossible.

[895] So to say that we are absolutely not in that, when we know what human beings are capable of, we already talked about this quirk -glu -on thing, where there, you know, this insanely dense matter.

[896] In a Star Trek?

[897] That's possible.

[898] Yeah, where you just think it looks, everything's real, and you have people fighting you.

[899] That's possible.

[900] All that shit's possible.

[901] This might not be real.

[902] It's possible that, I mean, it sounds completely ridiculous.

[903] And I'm absolutely agreeing with anyone right now who's going, this is fucking total stoner talk.

[904] Yes, it is.

[905] But it's also possible.

[906] It's possible that reality is some sort of a computer simulation.

[907] Okay, so then what?

[908] When I came out of...

[909] Yeah, that's a big question.

[910] When I came out of being sick and puking and going through this phases of just being just like body was ill. Like out of nowhere, I just became better.

[911] Like, like, and I remember laying in bed.

[912] Yeah, we talked about this yesterday.

[913] Yeah.

[914] I remember laying in bed going, you know what?

[915] I think I just died back there.

[916] And then that in some other world and you, and some other world you are just like, you know, going, oh, my God, you're dead.

[917] And this is like a whole different.

[918] Like I was, I froze up and I was reset as my program was reset.

[919] It might be.

[920] Because I felt like, I was like, wait a second.

[921] Why do I feel 100 % right now?

[922] And just a couple minutes ago, I was...

[923] And to the person out there, to the skeptic, to the cynic, the people out there go, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[924] This is what you're doing.

[925] You're jacking your brain up with chemicals and your five senses are being overloaded for our limited understanding of this reality and whatever the fuck else is possible out there.

[926] Just relax on that.

[927] I know what you're saying.

[928] I'm with you 100%.

[929] Of course, you're taking drugs and some wacky shit happens when you take the drugs.

[930] And you think it's real.

[931] Ho, ho hippie.

[932] What is death?

[933] What is life?

[934] What is the energy that takes us here?

[935] It takes us into another place.

[936] It's the same thing as like liquor where it's like you just barfed and you feel better.

[937] What is mushrooms?

[938] It's something on this planet.

[939] But it's what it makes you think that that's what's interesting to worry about.

[940] And in the fact, I don't know, whatever.

[941] What I'm saying here is what everyone's worrying about is what sounds ridiculous.

[942] But what they're not worrying about is how ridiculous are mushrooms in the first place.

[943] Right.

[944] I mean, you're talking about, well, it can't possibly be that you're reacting to a higher consciousness.

[945] It's just chemicals in the way.

[946] Listen, how crazy is it there's a fucking little plant that you can eat that can fuck your mind up so deep?

[947] How crazy is it there's this little thing that's like that?

[948] That's cool.

[949] That you can take it and it can take you to a cartoon world of impossible images.

[950] That's his defense mechanism as a plant.

[951] Is that what it is?

[952] Yeah.

[953] Just like a jalapeno pepper But why?

[954] It makes you want to eat it It makes us want to eat it But the dears That it originally accounted It told them I don't Because it'll fuck you up Is that true?

[955] There's like a halopeno pepper Yeah just like that's Well you know that Well I know that's true With hot peppers But did you know that The Aminita Muscaria Is like the number one food For Caribou?

[956] They love it Oh really?

[957] That crazy red and white Snowman looking Santa Claus mushroom Yeah That's the one that They believe that Yeah it's the Aminita mushroom This one from the sacred mushroom in the cross and that's the one that looks like Santa Claus.

[958] They love that shit.

[959] The reindeer are famous for it.

[960] Really?

[961] Just keep eating it.

[962] Yeah, that's how the whole Shaman Santa Claus myth happened with reindeer.

[963] That's how reindeer got in the mix.

[964] Oh, cool.

[965] See, the whole idea, and if you haven't heard this, it's a crazy theory.

[966] I don't know how much of it makes sense.

[967] But the idea is that this mushroom represents Santa Claus.

[968] And at Santa Claus, when you see this Santa Claus, and you see him, and he's like bringing you packages under the Christmas tree.

[969] Well, those packages, those bright, shiny packages, what those packages are is those mushrooms have a micro -riso relationship with that tree, with pine trees.

[970] They grow under these fucking pine trees.

[971] And they grow under them in the forest and people collect them.

[972] And that Santa Claus was a shaman.

[973] And the reason why they hung red stockings in front of the fire, well, those aren't stockings.

[974] Those are red mushrooms.

[975] Those mushrooms are red and white.

[976] They're all red and white.

[977] Yeah, they are the colors of Santa Claus.

[978] And that's how they dry them out.

[979] They would hang them in front of the firepost.

[980] place.

[981] That's how they preserve them.

[982] And that's also why they hang them on trees.

[983] You hang them on trees to dry them out.

[984] Yeah, it's what you make of your reality.

[985] As you're chipping out, you're like, whatever, that those drapes become fucking something, a waterfall or something.

[986] What's the poisonous one?

[987] I thought the poisonous one.

[988] The amina mascara is a little bit poisonous.

[989] Yeah, I thought that was the one to stay away from.

[990] Well, when I say poisonous, it's an LD50 rate that you have to worry about.

[991] You know, you have to worry about toxicity.

[992] There's some that look like psychedelic mushrooms, but they're really toxic.

[993] You've got to be really.

[994] You've got to be really.

[995] really care.

[996] I think this is one.

[997] Yeah.

[998] Yeah.

[999] There's some that will fuck you up, man. But there's, like, it's all in like what kills us doesn't kill other things and what kills other things doesn't kill us.

[1000] You know, like sheep.

[1001] Sheep can't eat DMT.

[1002] If sheep eat DMT, they fucking fall down to the ground.

[1003] Their little legs stick up and they have seizures and they die.

[1004] Like dogs and chocolate.

[1005] Yeah.

[1006] Yeah, if they eat grass that has a high DMT content, they're fucked.

[1007] Wow.

[1008] Yeah.

[1009] Weird.

[1010] Look at us.

[1011] We have it in our brains.

[1012] You know, we can smoke it and trip out and we'll, you know, relatively fine.

[1013] Dogs can't eat chocolate.

[1014] You know what I'm saying?

[1015] So when they do like tests on other animals, that's one of the things you have to consider.

[1016] Like, man, we're also, we vary so much.

[1017] Yeah, absolutely.

[1018] This would be a good time to promote Shroom Fest.

[1019] Oh, yeah.

[1020] So tell me about this Shroom Fest.

[1021] I'm organizing International Mushroom Festival.

[1022] Ah, where are you going to do it?

[1023] 18, 19, and 20th, all over the world, Joe.

[1024] Wherever people are.

[1025] So everyone's just going to get on webcams?

[1026] Are you just going to do it?

[1027] No, we're all just doing shrooms together.

[1028] I think Brian's got a good addition.

[1029] Yeah.

[1030] If people want to, what's it called?

[1031] Tap stuff, take pictures, webcam.

[1032] Absolutely.

[1033] Get involved.

[1034] Yeah.

[1035] Web cam it up, ma 'am it up.

[1036] Yeah, you definitely want people webcam it up.

[1037] Take pictures, take stories.

[1038] Yeah, on Twitter, we're going to have hashtag Shroomfest.

[1039] Shroomfest.

[1040] So anything goes down with your plans, hashtag that's.

[1041] We can all look.

[1042] We can all sort of be together with it.

[1043] So how do you avoid getting arrested?

[1044] Well, you know, just like every time you do illegal drugs.

[1045] Yeah, but this one, you make it very vocal.

[1046] They're going to knock on your door.

[1047] June 18, 19, 19, and 20.

[1048] Mr. Shafir, you want to step out of the house, please.

[1049] This is the door.

[1050] It's over here.

[1051] I know it looks like a giant gaping vagina with teeth.

[1052] This is the door.

[1053] I would not be partaking in Shroom Fest.

[1054] You might do it?

[1055] No, I just did it.

[1056] What if when you do shrooms...

[1057] I might do it more than once.

[1058] What if when you do shrooms, you enter into some sort of a zone, or if it wasn't shrooms, maybe some other drug, where there was a zone that you could enter where everyone was in the same hallucination.

[1059] A lot of people say that connect us all.

[1060] All the people that are high who are out there shrooming all over the world.

[1061] When I'm on a mushroom at a music festival?

[1062] Giant world of warcraft.

[1063] That would be cool.

[1064] That would be very cool.

[1065] When I'm on Shrooms, I was at a music festival in Ottawa when I was on shrooms.

[1066] And as I was leaving, as we were all, the whole crowd was leaving, I could tell who else was on some sort of hallucinogen.

[1067] Really?

[1068] And your head?

[1069] Oh, absolutely my head, but I can.

[1070] Everyone's on just antidepressants.

[1071] Obama, he's on it.

[1072] I could tell.

[1073] No, I can tell you're in the vibe.

[1074] No, it's Lovitra.

[1075] He leaves me smiling.

[1076] I smile.

[1077] Levittra.

[1078] Nothing scares me more than those Abilify commercials.

[1079] Nothing scares me more than Arion Salvia.

[1080] Those Abilified commercials are commercials where.

[1081] your regular antidepressants don't work so you take this one what does that one do and this one can make you suicidal it can make you homicidal it can make you a fucking uh a menace but it's for don't cue that shit up brown it's for um people who uh who are regular shit ain't working for them yeah does it that's all different ones people barely hanging on a lot of a lot of antidepressants make you suicidal what the fuck they get real careful and start you in slow doses how what a crazy It's 22 there.

[1082] Yeah, so if you feel more than normal, let's tell me immediately.

[1083] You want to talk about Ari and Salvia?

[1084] No, let's finish on Shroom Fest first.

[1085] We're talking about it eventually.

[1086] We're talking about Shroom Fest, man. So, yeah, I'm trying to get everyone to fucking do it to join in.

[1087] Tons of people at the commerce store are doing it.

[1088] Tons of people.

[1089] I might do it a couple times.

[1090] I might be in Vegas.

[1091] We're just going to sit in your house and do it?

[1092] No, no, no. So explain to me Shroom Fest.

[1093] What is the concept behind it and what are you trying to do?

[1094] Everybody, let's all fucking do it together.

[1095] Let's all make an excuse just to do some shrooms.

[1096] they're awesome.

[1097] Everyone should experience them.

[1098] Here's the reason.

[1099] Just for the sake of the thing.

[1100] How many freakouts do you think you're going to cause worldwide?

[1101] When I was planning?

[1102] I was deciding when should we do this?

[1103] And I thought Monday would be the best day because let's stay away from the squares.

[1104] They'll be at work.

[1105] Let's not get involved.

[1106] And so many people were asking me. They're like, but I want to do it.

[1107] But I can't take off a day of work.

[1108] Yeah, man. Your problem is you're only going to get the societal outcasts.

[1109] So I added Saturday and Sunday.

[1110] Oh, nice.

[1111] I waited until high school was done.

[1112] Saturday, Sunday and Monday?

[1113] Saturday Sunday when I went until high school was over So kids didn't have to worry about schools and finals Wow So somebody's going to do something bad and they can blame you though When all this is going to take responsibility For yourself in your own actions It seems like that's not a good idea to promote a day If I say everybody come up for a July 4th barbecue And somebody dies in the way there It's the same way.

[1114] It's like be careful Be careful Yeah you shouldn't do it in drive Nobody should drive on mushrooms Absolutely not That's the point you're making a good point Yeah don't do anything reckless at all But have some fun Organize a party Go to a beach go to a barbecue, go to a music festival.

[1115] There's worse things that we could do with our time.

[1116] You're talking about portobello mushrooms, too.

[1117] No, I'm talking about psychedelic mushrooms.

[1118] Make no beans, bones about it.

[1119] I'm clearly talking about illegal mushrooms.

[1120] But I'm still saying, let's all do it.

[1121] Start looking now, find your shrooms, ask a waiter.

[1122] Ask whoever would your stoner friends.

[1123] They don't know how to get it.

[1124] If your waiter has more than one tattoo.

[1125] Yeah, ask him.

[1126] Ask him.

[1127] That's a good source.

[1128] Yeah, especially if he's get good tattoos.

[1129] If they don't have it, they'll tell you where to get it.

[1130] You know, if you tip well.

[1131] Yeah.

[1132] Well, where would you go?

[1133] Would you go to a bar?

[1134] Ask a waiter at a bar?

[1135] That's the best move, right?

[1136] I would say like a Houston's.

[1137] Houston's?

[1138] Just because my roommate used to work there and he was like, yeah, we all had weed.

[1139] I would say guitar center.

[1140] That would be a good idea, too.

[1141] You have to convince him that you're not a cop.

[1142] Right.

[1143] Because it's very weird.

[1144] Like, do you want any mushrooms that were illegal for me to purchase from you, sir?

[1145] There was another woman who was a cop who coerced some guys into getting her drugs.

[1146] and then they arrested the guys for drugs.

[1147] Really?

[1148] Yeah, the guy was saying that he could get it was somewhere near San Diego.

[1149] I forget where it was.

[1150] And I bring this up because yesterday we were talking about that ridiculous case where the woman went to high school, not just one woman, but a bunch of different people went to high school and pretended to be high school students.

[1151] And they were cops, undercover cops, and they busted all these people for weed.

[1152] Wow.

[1153] You didn't hear about this?

[1154] Damn, that's fucking rude, man. That's when you're just being the man. What are you doing?

[1155] 20 arrests so far.

[1156] more to come.

[1157] But my point is like when you when you ask someone like say if you're talking to a child and you're an adult, right?

[1158] This woman has got to be like at least 19 to be a cop, right?

[1159] Yeah.

[1160] And she's talking to some kids.

[1161] How much smarter are you than them?

[1162] When you're 19 and they're 15, you're so much fucking smarter than them, man. You could talk them into doing all kinds of shit.

[1163] That's why this doctor's right blouse.

[1164] Yeah.

[1165] Because you can talk them into it.

[1166] Dude, you barely talk normal as it is.

[1167] You got a mouth full of fucking food.

[1168] That's why there's mumbling, it's so crummy, too.

[1169] What are you eating?

[1170] A cookie.

[1171] I have a basketball game tonight.

[1172] I played with a cookie on the other day.

[1173] Nice.

[1174] Oh, a pot cookie.

[1175] Oh, yeah.

[1176] Oh, okay.

[1177] Whenever I just...

[1178] It just says it like we're just supposed to know.

[1179] But I play basketball at the park with all my comic friends.

[1180] Right.

[1181] I shot lights out.

[1182] I took a jolly rancher like two hours before.

[1183] Oh, yeah.

[1184] And I was on fire.

[1185] I've never played that good.

[1186] Ever.

[1187] Not in high school.

[1188] Never been that good.

[1189] It gives you a certain sensitivity.

[1190] Everything slow down.

[1191] The ball came at you.

[1192] Like, okay, I'm going to catch that.

[1193] Should I pass it on?

[1194] Should I work for a shot?

[1195] Well, here it comes.

[1196] I should grab it now.

[1197] You should try a pool on it?

[1198] You tried pool on it?

[1199] No, I just did my first poker tournament.

[1200] Dude, you can play the fuck out of some pool when you're high.

[1201] You feel the ball's going.

[1202] I've done that.

[1203] I play pool high.

[1204] I've just never on an edible, I don't think.

[1205] Yeah, the edible is the way to go.

[1206] Regular high is good, but there's something, what the edible does to me is it tunes the whole body in.

[1207] You know, whereas pot, like, when you smoke it, it goes blast right to your head.

[1208] And you're high as fuck, but your body's not, is in tune the way it is with an edible.

[1209] Edible does something where the whole thing is hits the same frequency.

[1210] The whole, you like, you get a control over your body, a feeling over your body.

[1211] That's why sex is so good, right, Brian?

[1212] Edibles.

[1213] When you're high.

[1214] It's crazy shit.

[1215] I think in these jolly ranchers lately, they just, it's like doing Vicodin immediately.

[1216] Really?

[1217] Wait, what does that mean?

[1218] Just like super body numbness.

[1219] So you just not alive there?

[1220] Yeah.

[1221] Just not feel anything.

[1222] It just, everything feels numb.

[1223] But Vicodins just make me stupid as fuck.

[1224] I can't take those things.

[1225] Yeah, that part of the Vicinins.

[1226] It doesn't do that.

[1227] No, it's just more of like a body part of the Vicodon.

[1228] Man, that's all I associate with Vicodins.

[1229] I got Vicodins after my first ACL operation.

[1230] The first one I did, they did what's called a Patella tendon graft.

[1231] And what that is, is they take the Patella tendon is a really big, fat, thick tendon.

[1232] And what they do is they drill a hole and they cut the bone out.

[1233] They cut a section of the bone out.

[1234] slice the tendon, and then cut a section of the bone out where it connects in your shin.

[1235] And then they open you up like a fish, and they screw it into the bottom with a screw, and they screw it into the top of the screw, and it sets and eventually becomes, like, really strong, like it is now.

[1236] But the fucking pain of these screws that they put in the bone of your shin is hard to describe, man. It's Frankenstein.

[1237] It's fucking hard to describe.

[1238] And I was lying on the couch.

[1239] I had my second one done with a cadaver, and it was way easier.

[1240] It was no one near the pain.

[1241] But I would get off the couch, and it would be like lava.

[1242] Like someone took a pitchfork and just dipped it in hot lava.

[1243] It's just sort of shoving it into your asshole.

[1244] Like, that's how bad it hurt.

[1245] It was fucking intense.

[1246] And so they gave me some vicodents.

[1247] Every time I'd get up off the couch, it was really temporary.

[1248] It would only last, like, maybe 30 seconds or a minute.

[1249] but the fucking pain was I never felt anything like that I'd had broken bones I'd have I've been sick I've had a lot of like real bad moments Don't tell me you refused the Vicodin I fucking got rid of them Got rid of them after one day Because I took it and I was sitting on the couch And I was so fucked up I was so dumb I was so dull My mouth was open And I was watching MTV And I remember thinking I will never do these again I don't give a fuck about the pain I don't ever want to feel like this I just felt stupid as fuck And I don't know man Maybe it's just me Because the dudes at the pool hall loved them They bought those shits off me With the quickness Yeah, so can I happen?

[1250] Yeah, man Before I even fucking offered My friend Jeff was like Hey bud I said Hey you got some viking If you're trying to get rid of those things Bud I got you even fucking hear You vultures They knew Like yeah I just didn't like how they constipated me They give you constipation How many times do you guys done these things?

[1251] No, I took it for my knee surgery.

[1252] I had to take it for like a week or two.

[1253] Yeah?

[1254] And I didn't get the crazy stupid stuff, but I did get a...

[1255] You had a meniscus.

[1256] Miniscus.

[1257] Miniscus.

[1258] I was staring a bone crack.

[1259] Yeah.

[1260] Ooh, had the bone crack.

[1261] It's all, I don't know.

[1262] Did you get a heel hooked or something?

[1263] Does someone catch you in something?

[1264] I don't think it was kettle bells.

[1265] The next time I did kettlebells after I came back from PT, from physical therapy.

[1266] I could feel a tweak.

[1267] Really?

[1268] I was like, yeah, I should.

[1269] this is what it was.

[1270] I thought it might have been before because I was like it was around the same time as I did some of those they really add to your power.

[1271] Your problem was you went for like this long period of time where you weren't in shape and then all of a sudden you threw yourself in the jujitsu class.

[1272] Yeah.

[1273] It was after like a year though.

[1274] Yeah, but you were still getting you were getting some breakdowns you know, it's hard and you don't you don't eat that good.

[1275] No. You know?

[1276] That good.

[1277] No, I don't need good at all.

[1278] You know, we talked about that like if you really want to do this you have to take violence.

[1279] vitamins, and you have to eat well.

[1280] I'm really trying to get my candy intake to where I want it.

[1281] Where's it at right now?

[1282] Well, I'm suffering greatly in the juji fruit category.

[1283] Juji fruit?

[1284] Uh -huh.

[1285] All the sort of jujis?

[1286] Never was a fan of anything other than chocolate.

[1287] What?

[1288] Try other things.

[1289] Oh, you get bored of your life, man. Get out there.

[1290] I try them.

[1291] You know, I try like go crazy, get a little sour patch kids.

[1292] And I'm like, fucking melon rings.

[1293] Melon rings are good, too.

[1294] Mellon rings?

[1295] Melon rings.

[1296] Hellen rings?

[1297] Not really a melon rings fan.

[1298] Squirty gum.

[1299] Squirty gummy bears, peanut.

[1300] Brian's going to have the same voice and the same conversation when he's 80.

[1301] Oh, squirty gummy bears.

[1302] Yeah, melon slices.

[1303] They're all going to think he's a pedophile.

[1304] I was like, listen, I just never grew up in the same guy.

[1305] Tells about 9 -11.

[1306] Well, these terrorists of beinos.

[1307] That was back when you can get Twizzlers at the corner store.

[1308] The gas station, get Twizzlers before they made him illegal.

[1309] One day, Twizzlers.

[1310] Twizzles, stop paying.

[1311] Yeah, the government would be like, why would you think you should be able to eat those?

[1312] They do nothing but bad for you.

[1313] Government come in, bitches, you know your shit's poisonous.

[1314] Shut everything down.

[1315] The Twizzler factory.

[1316] I mean, look, someone has to come to the absolute conclusion that that's what's happening with cigarettes.

[1317] There's no other fucking way cigarettes would still be legal.

[1318] They're paying the government to keep cigarettes legal.

[1319] There's just no way around it.

[1320] If there's one thing that's killing 350.

[1321] to 400 ,000 people every year.

[1322] Americans?

[1323] Worldwide?

[1324] Americans.

[1325] Wrap your head around that.

[1326] 300 ,000 Americans plus every year?

[1327] 300 ,000 Americans plus every year.

[1328] So that's like...

[1329] Dead from cigarettes.

[1330] A tenth of one percent of the country.

[1331] Well, look, they were going to die eventually.

[1332] One out of every thousand people dies.

[1333] Yeah.

[1334] Every year.

[1335] Oh, yeah.

[1336] Wow.

[1337] That's a lot.

[1338] Yeah, that should totally be illegal.

[1339] They should give you like a year.

[1340] Yeah.

[1341] Every six and a half minute.

[1342] I'm pulling this out.

[1343] of my ass so we'll just google it it's every six and a half minutes somebody dies in america or the world i don't know you don't know um every six i'd say in the road i'd say in the row i don't know you're just why why even say because i can't imagine the commercial going to this here's it's even crazier it's even crazier worldwide tobacco deaths are more than five million per year.

[1344] Wow.

[1345] Wow.

[1346] Whoa.

[1347] Now how many of those are counting somebody here?

[1348] Here we go.

[1349] The most recent statistics, America 2011, 443 ,000 U .S. deaths attributed.

[1350] But it's only been five months.

[1351] No, each year.

[1352] They're saying each year 400, sorry, I didn't read the full sentence to you.

[1353] What is it?

[1354] Each year, an estimated 443 ,000 people die prematurely from smoking or exposure to secondhand smoke and another 8 .6 million live with a serious illness caused by smoking.

[1355] Wow.

[1356] Oh yeah, they have people like that.

[1357] They don't die, but they have a tracheotomy.

[1358] Dude, that is, not just tracheotomy.

[1359] How about people have iron lungs?

[1360] How about people that are slowly dying?

[1361] Iron lungs?

[1362] Is that still around?

[1363] Fuck yeah.

[1364] People still have iron lungs?

[1365] It's like a...

[1366] You see them at the airport, man. They're carrying around.

[1367] There's some people that have iron lungs.

[1368] Yeah.

[1369] The thing where it forces you to breathe in and out, I'm sure that exists.

[1370] But, you know, how about the people that are connected to those tanks?

[1371] Yeah.

[1372] They bring them everywhere.

[1373] The things in there in their nostrils and you know what it is, man. I saw a guy like that at the gun range.

[1374] He had that thing in his scooter, in the back, next to his rifle, who was also in the back.

[1375] Well, for some people, I shouldn't say, you know who it is, because for some people, I'm sure they have to use that because of an actual disease.

[1376] They didn't get from smoking, but it's amazing, man. Yeah, they shouldn't make that illegal.

[1377] Those numbers are really scary.

[1378] The numbers are, the trippy thing about him is that it's never discussed.

[1379] You know, they'll talk about 3 ,000 people that died during 9 -11, and no one's saying that that's not a big deal.

[1380] It is a big deal, and it's a horrible thing.

[1381] But 443 ,000 people are rotting to death, choking on their own fluid that's building up in their rotten lungs.

[1382] They drown.

[1383] They drown in their own fluid.

[1384] They literally can't get oxygen into their lungs anymore.

[1385] They fill up with fluid and they die a horrible death.

[1386] They have to strap them down.

[1387] That's 1 ,000 people a day.

[1388] That's more than 1 ,000 people a day.

[1389] Mm -hmm.

[1390] Crimeity.

[1391] Yeah.

[1392] That's a lot.

[1393] Yeah, that should totally be able to be able to.

[1394] illegal.

[1395] They should give you some time.

[1396] That's so scary.

[1397] Six months.

[1398] Six months to a year.

[1399] We're like, it's going to happen here.

[1400] No, six months.

[1401] I don't think it should be illegal.

[1402] I think you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want, man. Well, the secondhand smoke makes me think that they should do what they're doing in terms of not in public.

[1403] That's scary when you have a spouse or children and, you know, you're smoking in your apartment.

[1404] That's a lot of people are doing that.

[1405] And those kids are getting sick.

[1406] Yeah.

[1407] That's a scary thing.

[1408] You know, it's against the law now in California to drive in a car with anyone under the age of 18.

[1409] Even if it's your own kids.

[1410] And smoke, cigarettes.

[1411] Oh, and smoke?

[1412] Yeah, and smoke.

[1413] Yeah, I was like, what are you talking about?

[1414] Why are you taking kids to school?

[1415] That's ridiculous.

[1416] You're like, really?

[1417] There's only one way to keep kids from fucking.

[1418] We have to keep them at home.

[1419] Don't drive them around.

[1420] They just fuck.

[1421] But that's one thing I do remember as a kid, my friend's mom, always driving us to the bowling alley every weekend because we were in bowling leagues.

[1422] And smoking the whole way there with the windows open.

[1423] And as a kid, I remember going, this is disgusting.

[1424] And I told my mom the other day about it.

[1425] Meanwhile, you know, you are smoking.

[1426] Yeah, that's exactly probably one of the reasons why that, or my grandfather always smoking.

[1427] You know, everyone smoked around me as a kid.

[1428] That's definitely not why.

[1429] The reason why is because you put a cigarette in your mouth and you light it and you smoke it.

[1430] That's why you're smoking cigarettes.

[1431] But the reason I ever got to the point where I would do that is because I grew up with all everyone around me smoking.

[1432] That's possible.

[1433] But I grew up around people smoking.

[1434] my mom smoked when I was a little kid She quit I think she quit when I was like 10 Something like that I got to see her smoke Eventually if they were completely legal Like when I was born if they were legal I would have eventually got into I would have like found one and tried it We all tried them together when I was like 15 Yeah My sister's my sister stuck with it for a long time Man she kept smoking for years She quit now But It's not easy man You know everybody Brian will tell you Joey will tell you You can tell everybody You guys are both You're currently addicted, and you were, you know...

[1435] So the debate, whether she was six months or a year is still open.

[1436] It's just amazing.

[1437] It's amazing that the government can somehow or another allow this, that they can pretend they're looking out for our interests.

[1438] They're, you know, stop fucking high school kids from selling weed, get some people, pay our own tax dollars, or have some chickplayed 21 Jump Street, you know, and go in and get some weed off some kids.

[1439] Yeah.

[1440] They didn't even uncover anything other than weed.

[1441] That's crazy.

[1442] You know what that makes me?

[1443] That makes me happy about our new generation.

[1444] The kids coming up.

[1445] Yeah, they got arrested for weed, but look, what are they doing?

[1446] Yeah.

[1447] They just smoke at some weed and trying to bang some cop.

[1448] That's right, exactly.

[1449] Like, what?

[1450] I want to get late.

[1451] I had these people in Central Washington in my show that were, that they had no teeth and their smile.

[1452] Whoa.

[1453] So I was like, is that a meth situation?

[1454] And he goes, he holds up his drink.

[1455] He goes, seven years sober, man. And I was like, fuck yeah.

[1456] I was like, wait, you're holding up a beer.

[1457] But you know what he said to me?

[1458] He goes, you don't think it's a difference between a fucking drink at a comedy club and meth.

[1459] And I was like, you're absolutely right.

[1460] And I apologize.

[1461] There's a complete difference.

[1462] How funny is that, man?

[1463] How funny is that?

[1464] Yeah.

[1465] And I was like, you're not even sober.

[1466] I'm like, of course you are.

[1467] Hey, you need to take her advice from that little Esther chick.

[1468] She says a lot of cool shit on Twitter.

[1469] Revis?

[1470] Advice.

[1471] Here's what Little Esther just said on Twitter.

[1472] Everyone that's in a relationship is delusional.

[1473] Little Esther, stop.

[1474] Move away from the fucking keyboard, right?

[1475] This is getting too transparent.

[1476] I'm starting to feel ill. There's a new breed of people who love taking shit public.

[1477] We love like throwing shit out there.

[1478] That's just silliness.

[1479] Just so the person who has offended them will know they're talking about them.

[1480] There's a little of that.

[1481] That's a little bit, I'm sure, in that statement.

[1482] That's also, that's the kind of thing you say when you're 21.

[1483] Yeah.

[1484] And you think you really have an answer.

[1485] That's the saddest thing about life.

[1486] You get older.

[1487] You get more questions.

[1488] Yeah, you realize, but you accept that there are no answers to a lot of things.

[1489] You're just able to accept that.

[1490] That's a tough fucking sell, man. That one moment where you have to give in and accept that there are no fucking answers, I mean, we all know that that's what turns people to religion.

[1491] You were much more religious than I was when I was a kid, but I was very religious for a little while.

[1492] When my parents were breaking up when I was five, before I went to Catholic school and they cured me. They cured me in Catholic school.

[1493] Surged your religion?

[1494] Fucking cunt, none.

[1495] This evil woman, this woman was, she was just rot.

[1496] Rot?

[1497] That's what she was.

[1498] She was just a sister -man at Josephine.

[1499] She was just rot She was a rotten person Like everything was bad about her She started yelling at me The first day of fucking school She was just evil man She was just an evil bitch She's dead now you think How old was she then?

[1500] Yeah she was old as fuck She was old as fuck when I was like I was like six You know But I remember thinking Like while I was getting through school Well you know Every day I lived in terror It was just fucking so mean But while I was getting through school I remember thinking Well now I have to like Figure out what the fuck is going on Because clearly it's not religion.

[1501] Because I thought when I went to church when I was a little kid, when I was like three and four and five, you know, church to me was like my whole life was falling apart.

[1502] My parents were getting divorced.

[1503] I didn't know what was going on.

[1504] My dad was super violent.

[1505] And I was just starting to realize that he beat my mom up for no reason.

[1506] So to me, like, there has to be God.

[1507] There has to be something.

[1508] You know, and when I would go to church with my grandparents or with, you know, whoever took me, I would say, well, this is, this is beautiful.

[1509] You know, everybody here is being nice and God be with you.

[1510] you and they're all saying nice things and they're telling you if you do the right thing you go to heaven and all the sins on earth disappear and dissolve but this cunt was so evil and she was connected to this I was like wow she was like the shittiest salesperson for a religion of all time yeah they don't get the right spokesman but that's like one of the cool things about being Catholic the religion is so ridiculous very few people completely agree with it it's so over the top stupid and ridiculous and I mean there was a story last week about one one of the head guys in the Pope's whole thing about pedophilia got arrested for pedophilia.

[1511] This motherfucker got arrested for he was trying to get Moroccans to deliver him young boys and he was telling him to get him from kids who had a troubled childhood.

[1512] And what was his position?

[1513] He was in charge of the pedophilia to make sure that the priest didn't do it.

[1514] Like he was the guy that the Pope put in charge of making sure that doesn't happen.

[1515] He was there, what's the branch of the cops that investigates their own?

[1516] I've watched enough TV.

[1517] Peter Protectors?

[1518] But yeah, so those people.

[1519] Here is this story.

[1520] A priest in the archdiocese of a top advisor to Pope Benedict the, what is the 16th?

[1521] What is he?

[1522] Was arrested Friday on pedophilia and drug charges.

[1523] And they have all the papers of this dude asking for, they have like emails and shit.

[1524] of him asking for boys and wanting them from backgrounds where they didn't have a family and they're all fucked up.

[1525] How ridiculous is the guy that was in charge to make sure that didn't happen?

[1526] This is his, this is one of the things he wrote.

[1527] I do not want 16 -year -old boys, but younger.

[1528] 14 -year -olds are okay.

[1529] Look for needy boys who have family issues.

[1530] He was trading cocaine for boys and that the Vatican knew about the problem for decades.

[1531] Listen, man, they're all.

[1532] all creepy.

[1533] That's the worst part.

[1534] I understand.

[1535] If a priest does something, that's not the whole organization's fault.

[1536] Dude, they've been doing this shit forever, man. They've been doing this shit forever.

[1537] This, I mean, the whole, they just, yeah, they back it up.

[1538] If you don't make it disappear.

[1539] If you don't arrest them, you're backing it up.

[1540] This pope, when he was a bishop, this one that's currently in now, they have all sorts of paperwork showing that he was shielding child molesters.

[1541] He was moving them.

[1542] He was moving them from one place to another and trying to get them to avoid a prosecution it's amazing it's amazing that anybody would take any of this shit seriously that it's still they can still do this and they can still have meetings with Obama and everyone can still pretend this is some insane the representative of evil and you're going to tell me yeah it's a fucking cult of kid fuckers why is this not like on the front page of CNN why is that the only article about this was from some you know translated from some Italian newspaper you know like why aren't they collecting all these facts and like really talking about It's in the mainstream news, bro.

[1543] I think some of it might be also people are just tired.

[1544] It's the same story for the last 15, 20 years.

[1545] It was in the New York Times.

[1546] It was pretty mainstream.

[1547] Did they just translate the articles when I was saying?

[1548] Is there actually anybody really talking about this other than translations from Italian newspapers?

[1549] I don't know, but there's been other stories about these in the New York Times as well.

[1550] It's not like people were avoiding all these pedophile issues.

[1551] And there was also, like, in every mainstream story or every mainstream news source, there was some big meeting that they had recently to deal with priests.

[1552] and sexual charges and that was all public too if you're out there a certain amount of it has to be public because it's such a known issue if you're out there go to Catholic churches you're going to an organization that condones his behavior so just know that when you show up for church tomorrow on Sunday yeah absolutely you're joining an organization that condones that behavior yeah what the fuck what are you doing it's amazing but you really are yeah they're like oh I'm associated now with child molesters in my organization that are making rules for me, but I'm not leaving this organization.

[1553] Based on fairy tales.

[1554] Yeah, well, based on who in the fuck knows what the original thing was.

[1555] Even if you believe in Jesus, you clearly know these people are, yeah, just go to an automational church or something.

[1556] Yeah, well, they're not acting in Jesus' name when they're fucking your kid's mouth.

[1557] It's that simple.

[1558] No, clearly not, that's right.

[1559] It's amazing how many people can get away with.

[1560] There was Bill Maher had a clip that somebody put up online from his show that made a really good point.

[1561] And he was talking about how many people call themselves Christians, but don't follow any of the rules of Christianity.

[1562] He was talking about the Osama bin Laden thing.

[1563] Like, Jesus was like the most nonviolent guy ever, you know, and he was the guy who said, turn your other cheek, you know, do not be evil to your enemies, but treat them with love.

[1564] And meanwhile, and the Christians are like, go into kill Muslims with guns and horses on a, on boats.

[1565] Yeah, and it was really funny because Obama, they asked Obama, like, about people that would would, you know, whether, you know, what's the controversy about the death of Osama bin Laden?

[1566] And he was like anybody to think there's anything wrong with getting rid of that guy.

[1567] It needs to have their brain checked.

[1568] Yeah.

[1569] Needs to have their head checked.

[1570] Like, this is the guy who pretends to be a Christian.

[1571] This was like Bill Morris Point.

[1572] And that's such a good point, you know, because it's like the most neglected aspect of Christianity.

[1573] It's like, you're not supposed to hate.

[1574] Yeah.

[1575] You're not supposed to be angry at people.

[1576] And you're supposed to be all turning your other cheek.

[1577] But not just love.

[1578] love your enemy.

[1579] Yeah, love your enemy.

[1580] What is it?

[1581] Man. Yeah.

[1582] Take your enemy.

[1583] The guy you hate and not just forgive him, but love him.

[1584] Yeah.

[1585] Well, really, it's awesome advice.

[1586] Why didn't they capture that guy?

[1587] Jesus?

[1588] No. Osama bin Laden?

[1589] He's definitely trying to capture Jesus.

[1590] I don't think it's real.

[1591] I mean, I don't know if it's real.

[1592] It might be real.

[1593] They might have done exactly what they said and they might have killed Osama bin Laden at that moment.

[1594] But, you know, there was a lot of, like, there was a lot of reports, like way back to 2002 that that that guy was dead.

[1595] And they were always saying that he was very sick.

[1596] You know, they were always saying that that guy had, you know, bad kidneys and he had needed dialysis on a regular basis.

[1597] I don't think they take the chance of him possibly being out there to say, like, unless they know, they've seen his body, there's no way of, let the president go on and say, I assure you he's dead.

[1598] It's like it might come up that he's not.

[1599] Yeah, but that if he was already dead a long time ago, that's what they believe.

[1600] What people believe is that this was just some sort of, This is some sort of a publicity ploy to keep Obama in office.

[1601] Look, Obama is like this ingenious device that the Republicans have created.

[1602] Get a guy run for the Democratic Party, make him black, and make him do everything a Republican would do.

[1603] Yay!

[1604] And everybody loves him.

[1605] And he's fucking you and you're clapping.

[1606] Yay!

[1607] He's the black president.

[1608] Yay!

[1609] Meanwhile, he's fucking Bush plus.

[1610] He's doing everything that Bush did plus.

[1611] He's doing exactly the same shit.

[1612] My problem with the theory that, like, he just did this to when an election is coming up is, like, Well, if they're going to do that, the timing is not right.

[1613] Wait six to eight months.

[1614] Well, maybe it is, though.

[1615] Maybe it is because maybe this is what sets the ball in motion.

[1616] Maybe they have, like, political experts that have actually studied, like, tides of the cult of personality and how many times, how many months does it take?

[1617] Maybe, like, all this shit with Kim Kardashian and all this.

[1618] This is just as all the government has done is create these famous people for no reason, just so we can see, like, chart the tides of how much time does it take for people get pissed off.

[1619] you.

[1620] And how much time does it take for you to recover from that?

[1621] You know, when everybody was pissed off at Obama, how much time is it take him to recover and be a bad motherfucker again?

[1622] Well, he's got to kill bin Laden now.

[1623] And then it needs like nine months for a defester in the American psyche.

[1624] And this is like step one of a bunch of other things that will set in place.

[1625] So this is the perfect time to do it?

[1626] Yeah, they're wagging the dog.

[1627] That's ridiculous.

[1628] Step one, they kill Solomon bin Laden.

[1629] That's awesome.

[1630] Now step two, they're going to thwart some nuclear attack.

[1631] They'll stop that, look like badass.

[1632] Stereals.

[1633] Step three.

[1634] Yeah.

[1635] And then they move into step three.

[1636] And And then they announce all these new jobs because the government will hire like two million census workers.

[1637] The government created two million new jobs.

[1638] Meanwhile, they're just a bunch of people knocking on your door, annoying you, asking you what peanut butter you use.

[1639] You know, they could put it on a fucking census.

[1640] That's why the only thing that could have beat Obama would be something like a lesbian, armless lesbian, armless lesbian.

[1641] Nobody wants an armless woman.

[1642] I think a lot of Republicans like, I don't want to run against Obama.

[1643] Armless black lesbian.

[1644] I'm not doing it.

[1645] I'm pulling out.

[1646] I'll do it in four years.

[1647] I'm not running against Obama.

[1648] I think a lot of people would be good to run against Obama.

[1649] Obama.

[1650] If they, like, Ron Paul did, you know, Ron Paul and that other guy from New Mexico, the former Gary Johnson.

[1651] Yeah.

[1652] In what way?

[1653] Well, first of all, both of those guys are, you know, they're Republicans.

[1654] I'm pretty sure Gary Johnson is, but I know that.

[1655] What do you mean Ron Paul?

[1656] Like, what do you mean?

[1657] What does that verb mean?

[1658] Ron Pauling it?

[1659] Well, Ron Paul is all about smaller government and is all about getting us out of these wars and is all about being, you know, honest about what's happened with the American people and then upholding the Constitution and freedom of personal use of drugs and doing whatever the fuck you need to do.

[1660] I think we need a new constitution made by people that we can relate to.

[1661] That would help.

[1662] But then there would be a question of who would be the ones that would draft this fucking thing and how much would the government have a say in it?

[1663] You know, because when they come up with things like the Patriot Act, you can't think that they're looking out for your best interest.

[1664] So we can't let them come up with a new constitution.

[1665] So who the fuck?

[1666] I mean, the system right now is so corrupt.

[1667] You can't say, hey, you guys are all corrupt and fucked up.

[1668] Will you please fix this?

[1669] Write out some new shit.

[1670] It's a good point.

[1671] That people in charge would have to be.

[1672] So who would it have to be?

[1673] It would have to be scholars.

[1674] It would have to be the people.

[1675] Well, they've shown time and time again that a lot of these guys, especially when it comes to economics that are professors at universities, they're not only not shit, they're whores.

[1676] All these guys, especially the professors and economics that are detailed in that movie, the inside job.

[1677] They just take whatever money they can.

[1678] Oh, my God.

[1679] These guys are getting paid left and right by all these different, these professors in economics get paid to like sign off on these these different like trusts and different funds and different you know and sign off on these different ideas and work for major corporations in the future and they get these huge cushy fucking jobs like millions and millions of dollars so they say all these things that are complementary towards certain styles of the market and they teach certain things that would encourage you know the same sort of system that they have set up or had set up for a long time until this recent economic collapse and they endorse it and they say all this is rock solid and this is everything's fine and it turns out if you follow the paper trail these motherfuckers are all of them eventually wind up getting cushy jobs it's all it's a real sneaky sneaky situation my friends anytime you see an economist on the good morning America or anything or whatever talking about meet the press talking about whatever it goes they're selling a book yeah they're selling some book they're selling something so they need to say something that's incendiary enough that they can get on those shows to sell more books right she'll look at Ann Coulter she's a fucking professional troll she's professional at it she goes on she says A bunch, she's the, like, vultorish -looking.

[1680] She's pretty if you're drunk.

[1681] Oh, she's the thinner one with a straight hair?

[1682] Yeah, like, you might hate fuck her.

[1683] Yeah, yeah.

[1684] If you were in San Diego and you were drunk, and she was at a bar.

[1685] Absolutely, I would do that.

[1686] I think you're funny and you're a dirty Jew and I want to suck your dirty Jew cock.

[1687] If she touched my dick on the way by to the bathroom, like gently by it, I'd be like, oh, it's on.

[1688] That's what she would do?

[1689] No, if she did, then I would definitely, yeah.

[1690] You would hit it?

[1691] Let's get out of here.

[1692] Really?

[1693] Would you call her again afterwards or would you feel gross?

[1694] It was actually Ann Coulter.

[1695] Would you start banging her?

[1696] someone who looked like that.

[1697] Would you start bringing her around the store?

[1698] Dude, no. She's really cool, man. A lot of that shit is just her public image.

[1699] She's playing a character.

[1700] She's playing a character.

[1701] She is, though.

[1702] She is.

[1703] I mean, she's very smart at it.

[1704] She says a lot of incendiary shit, and it's funny, you know, and she, you know, she called Bob Edwards a faggot.

[1705] Whoa, no way.

[1706] Is it Bob Edwards?

[1707] She called John Edwards.

[1708] She called John Edwards a faggot.

[1709] Yeah, she called John Edwards a fagot.

[1710] What?

[1711] Yeah.

[1712] And she still got a job?

[1713] She's insinuated.

[1714] Yeah, man. She's white.

[1715] She's a Republican.

[1716] It's all good.

[1717] She said on air?

[1718] It was really funny.

[1719] She had to apologize.

[1720] Jimmy Norton had a good joke.

[1721] And, you know, like, I wonder why she thought that.

[1722] Maybe she saw him more than twice.

[1723] What do you mean?

[1724] That looks like a faggot.

[1725] Oh, right, right, right.

[1726] One of what made her say that.

[1727] I guess she saw him more than twice.

[1728] I don't know what that guy looks like.

[1729] I love that the phrasing of that.

[1730] That's enough.

[1731] You just start assessing him.

[1732] What the fuck's going on with this guy?

[1733] Oh, he's good.

[1734] He's the guy that his wife was dead.

[1735] dying of fucking cancer.

[1736] Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that guy.

[1737] Having a baby with some other chick.

[1738] I wonder, man, back before, we're just getting sort of to see now how many dudes we're rocking it like that.

[1739] All of them.

[1740] Why wouldn't they?

[1741] I think that was just a part of the way it was done.

[1742] I mean, like, when you go back to, like, the Kennedys, sort of like everyone knew.

[1743] You remember when we were kids, we were growing up?

[1744] We kind of all knew that Kennedy fucked Marilyn Monroe, right?

[1745] Sort of knew, but didn't say anything.

[1746] Yeah.

[1747] Well, it was sort of like one of those things.

[1748] It was just like, we would just say, oh.

[1749] that is a different time.

[1750] I think back when they had no accountability, they could just get away with shit like that.

[1751] A lot of politicians are in the position to get laid.

[1752] They do it.

[1753] You know, you've seen a movie, you see some cop fucking a hooker.

[1754] You're like, oh, yeah, that's normal.

[1755] But you actually see a police officer.

[1756] You're like, no way.

[1757] Right.

[1758] But why not?

[1759] That's who's doing it.

[1760] Regular people are doing these corrupt things that you would think, no, not them.

[1761] Sluts too.

[1762] You see come across a slut and full, you know, nice long dress or something.

[1763] Like, no, she wouldn't be like that.

[1764] Yeah, the slut's get.

[1765] regular jobs.

[1766] Yeah.

[1767] They're all around us.

[1768] That's why women are terrified when their husbands go to the office.

[1769] There's always had one crazy bitch that'll suck your dick in a stock room.

[1770] And who's going to resist that?

[1771] Yeah.

[1772] I mean, you might live your whole life and never meet one.

[1773] Or you might work for the right office and this girl's crazy and she shows you a picture of her pussy on her cell phone.

[1774] And you're like, what the fuck are you doing?

[1775] What are you showing me that for?

[1776] And the next thing you know it?

[1777] You sure seem flirty.

[1778] Oh, Jed's a million you later.

[1779] You know who's the best of picking those girls?

[1780] Joe Diaz.

[1781] He can spot him a mile away.

[1782] There she is right there, that dirty freak.

[1783] I can see it.

[1784] I can see in her eyes, Joe Rogan.

[1785] He put AJ on my dick.

[1786] He had the crazy stories yesterday, man, about trying to pass drug tests by putting various substances over his dick and then covering it with his foreskin.

[1787] And tying it into a knot.

[1788] Dropped into, that was just a joke.

[1789] So then it would all drop into the piss cup while he was pissing and it would taint the result.

[1790] So he has two weeks.

[1791] Yeah.

[1792] He would like, you know, add like chlorine.

[1793] He added chlorine.

[1794] He had adrenno.

[1795] That's stuff you put in there.

[1796] Oh, my God.

[1797] He said he was putting Drano under his foreskin.

[1798] And just pinch you, I put a rotor band around it and burnt some extra peahles.

[1799] I don't know.

[1800] Yeah, like the whole thing, I was trying to picture in my head and made no sense.

[1801] It was like, does he put it in there and then tie it and a knot at the end with his skin?

[1802] He really did that.

[1803] He was just joking.

[1804] Yeah, but how else does he attach it to his?

[1805] Apparently, he said he has a big foreskin.

[1806] His foreskin's very long, so he just stuffs it up there and let it sit there.

[1807] And then he peels it back.

[1808] It makes no sense.

[1809] I don't have a dick like his.

[1810] I can't explain.

[1811] I feel like you have Tyrone around.

[1812] Cinch that area.

[1813] Well, I think normally when it's soft, it's covered over like an anteater.

[1814] So when it gets hard, then, yeah, like some stuff, whatever you got in there.

[1815] Like, first, the chlorine was like crumples.

[1816] It was like chlorine crumples from like one of those things that you, like, drop into a pool to chlorinate the pool.

[1817] Oh, okay.

[1818] Something like that, like a disc or something.

[1819] He shaved it and then he put that stuff under his dick.

[1820] My one -year -old nephew just had to go under the.

[1821] the knife for a second time to do his circumcision and we had talked about this before and what happened is the first time they did the circumcision it didn't take it started to grow back together or do something i don't understand what they were talking about so they had to put uh my nephew under and uh do plastic surgery cut off more and blah blah blah and my biggest thing i was just like wait a second you know like this is a high tech hospital why is this happening how is this happening why Why couldn't you just, I told my mom to get the oldest Jew and give them $100 and that would probably be better than the high -tech hospital?

[1822] Give your kid herpes and they'll suck your kid's dick.

[1823] Do you know that that's how they do it?

[1824] They cut it off and then they suck on it.

[1825] Who sucks on it?

[1826] The moil.

[1827] Sucks on the dick?

[1828] Yes.

[1829] You don't know that?

[1830] That the ancient Hasidic practice of they, when they, I believe it's acidic, they, when they, uh, the guy, what's the guy's, what's the guy's name that cuts your dick?

[1831] Moyle.

[1832] The moyle.

[1833] When they, it's supposed to suck it.

[1834] That's how they're supposed to like stop the blood.

[1835] Oh, the ones I've seen just.

[1836] They use towels.

[1837] Yeah, they suck it, too, though, dude.

[1838] The traditional ways to suck it.

[1839] There was a whole story because a baby died of herpes because a guy had herpes on his mouth.

[1840] He had a cold sore on his mouth.

[1841] He does the traditional way, and he sucks the little kid's dick.

[1842] It sounds like, it sounds like I'm talking crazy.

[1843] It's crazy.

[1844] But it's the real thing.

[1845] Spell Moil, spell moy L. M -O -Y -E -L.

[1846] M -O -Y -E -L.

[1847] It's a Hebrew word.

[1848] So it could be M -O -I -E -L.

[1849] I've seen a lot of traditional grises.

[1850] I've never seen that before.

[1851] I guess there's this new practice now, this new way to do circumcisions that the hospitals have been doing, and the fail rate is so much higher.

[1852] But I guess it's more sensitivity for the kid and all that.

[1853] It's super safer.

[1854] But the crazy thing is, is my, the doctors say to each other's doctors, it's an art. Like, it's a guessing game.

[1855] You have to be so good at it.

[1856] And it's just experience.

[1857] All they do is just that.

[1858] Yeah.

[1859] There's a video of a guy explaining why the moyle has to suck a boy's penis after circumcision.

[1860] So if you go to, look up on online, on YouTube, go to YouTube and write in, rabbi explains the importance of sucking.

[1861] I'd love to hear this.

[1862] Explains.

[1863] Explains.

[1864] The importance of sucking a boy's penis.

[1865] Yeah, see, I didn't make the shit up, man. I would love to hear this.

[1866] This is some ridiculous nonsense.

[1867] How do you find this?

[1868] me?

[1869] Start with shark attacks.

[1870] I was looking at a kid.

[1871] I was getting an argument with the wife, hide in the office.

[1872] It gets dark.

[1873] Shark bites, boys.

[1874] Here you know, in Halauraea, that's the second section.

[1875] A little loud.

[1876] It's a little loud.

[1877] Four sections of Halauga called the Shukhan Aruch, the set table.

[1878] In chapter 266, halakha, three, four, five, and six, he describes how the circumcision is to be done.

[1879] He says, after the coming, the Mohel does what is called Mitzitsitsin.

[1880] Mitzitsa means to suck, and it means doing so with his mouth.

[1881] And one could say, well, why can't you use a tube?

[1882] Well, you could, technically, but it's not the custom as to how it was done.

[1883] Now, why is it that way?

[1884] Well, you could say that.

[1885] In the old days, you didn't have tubes.

[1886] Now you can have tubes, so why not?

[1887] The answers I thought about it is that it's not as effective because the tube...

[1888] He's deciding this in his own.

[1889] He's interpreting this right now.