102 - Decompressions

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfanakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] Hi.

[17] Hi.

[18] And welcome to do you know what our first.

[19] favorite murder is.

[20] I just made up a new name for a podcast.

[21] Do you know what I was saying?

[22] No. Do you need a ride?

[23] We can start over.

[24] Sorry.

[25] Sorry.

[26] No, leave it.

[27] It's, I was going to say how it feels like it's been a while.

[28] It's been, oh, no, sorry, that's quite a vacation.

[29] My favorite murder.

[30] Jesus Christ.

[31] Like, I haven't done that one in a while either.

[32] I'd not like I've been.

[33] I only have one podcast now.

[34] So if I had gotten it wrong, I would have been a, that would have been really hurtful.

[35] Yeah.

[36] How is it just having your one podcast now?

[37] I feel so free.

[38] And what's your next podcast going to be?

[39] I'm just going to do something with more homework, even.

[40] I'm just going to do something where all I do is homework.

[41] That's a good idea.

[42] Just quiet pencil, pencil on paper sounds.

[43] Just constant work working.

[44] Like more of an SMR.

[45] Yeah.

[46] I don't ever think I'm saying that right.

[47] But I have to actually do the work, so I have even less time to do anything.

[48] Good idea.

[49] Should you just go into?

[50] some like math like long division like where would you leave off in math would you like to get back to in math i mean i don't even know the basics addition i can do that you could do some basic yeah yeah i saw a really cool video about how and from what i remember uh it said people i think in japan do multiplication of long numbers yeah and it was like it looked like they were making a tic -tac toe box did you see that video yeah and what drives me crazy about it is that uh It's that thing of like, people learn in different ways.

[51] We don't all have this one way of learning.

[52] I'm sorry, I'm mad at the public school system.

[53] Because they haven't adapted to anything modern?

[54] Because I didn't get it.

[55] And so then I was stupid instead of like that maybe I just needed to learn in a different way.

[56] Right.

[57] Like how to either a better teacher, be a better approach.

[58] Right.

[59] Or better, you know, I think nowadays they have a lot more, what's the word?

[60] Montessori shit?

[61] No. went to Montessori.

[62] I did too.

[63] Oh, my God.

[64] It didn't work for you?

[65] I mean, work in what way?

[66] I learned how to, I learned how to wash my feet at the washing feet station.

[67] There was a washing feet station.

[68] Where were you?

[69] The Old West?

[70] I just remember, like, there was like the chalk station and that.

[71] And then there was like a bucket.

[72] And you could go outside and wash your feet.

[73] That is so weird now that I'm talking about it.

[74] I didn't need to talk to my sister about this.

[75] Were you, this is an Irvine?

[76] Yeah.

[77] Did you have goats?

[78] No. Were there any, was there any reason to have a bucket besides children's dirty feet?

[79] No. Was your teacher a germaphobe?

[80] Probably.

[81] Or foot fetishes.

[82] I think she must have had an issue with dirty children's feet.

[83] Why were your shoes off?

[84] Don't know.

[85] In school.

[86] Again, I'm figuring out right now that this is weird.

[87] And I want to text my sister and make sure I have this memory correct.

[88] I'm calling Janet.

[89] Call Janet and ask her.

[90] Right now.

[91] I told you how I was supposed to go to therapy with my mom.

[92] Yeah.

[93] Did I tell you that I gave her the wrong day?

[94] And she showed up like two days early.

[95] Was she pissed?

[96] No. It was fine.

[97] We ended up making up anyways.

[98] Well, that's good.

[99] Yeah.

[100] I mean, that's what counts.

[101] Yeah.

[102] Do you think that subconsciously you may have done that so you didn't have to do it?

[103] Definitely.

[104] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[105] Don't you think?

[106] 100%.

[107] That's usually why I do stuff like that.

[108] And now it's so overt to me that I might as well just be like, I'm not going to be there probably.

[109] Hey, let's meet.

[110] I've done it to you a thousand times.

[111] But that's not normally, that's not I don't want to be there.

[112] I have to talk my way out of this.

[113] But normally that's just I can't get that fucking calendar on my phone to do the right thing.

[114] Right.

[115] I can't ever do it.

[116] Yeah.

[117] It's a tricky little fucker.

[118] It goes backwards in time.

[119] Have we talked about this?

[120] It makes me crazy.

[121] easy um you had a recommendation didn't you oh you know we got stephen stephen pulled this the email for oh uh in lieu in reference to vis -a -vis episode 100 uh hey y 'all includes everyone and their goddamn animals first off love the show been listening since after episode three went to the live show in austin used to play poker with david temple for two years this is after he allegedly murdered his wife.

[122] Yep.

[123] Wow.

[124] I'm also obsessed with the yogurt shop murders.

[125] Anyway, so that's not even about what this is about.

[126] Okay.

[127] Karen said an asteroid came three miles from him.

[128] Oh, no. You can just say no more.

[129] Just don't even say anything else.

[130] It's so good.

[131] Three miles.

[132] As you say that, I'm like, that's impossible.

[133] No. Three miles?

[134] Here's the thing.

[135] And some people get very pissed off about this we just fucking say whatever we just say shit we just say whatever and then clean up the mess after some people are very bothered by that but man that's funny how far up is like the ozone i don't know but it's probably more than three miles and as you said it on the podcast then i was like okay uh -huh and then the minute that came out of your mouth i was like no just now but not i don't question you no until someone else questions you that that's my whole act is it's just very believable bullshit talking and who am i to question i mean who are you of all people to question me the queen of spain okay i don't even know math how am i going to know how are three miles you and your dirty bucket feet never question me okay okay no go ahead shoot this day i can't go barefoot you know i have a barefoot yeah that's right what did fucking village montessori do to me what did they do to your feet who was on the bottom of that bucket who hurt my feet scrubbing your feet.

[136] Oh, ew.

[137] Ew.

[138] Sorry.

[139] Back to the asteroid.

[140] Okay.

[141] Anyway, Karen said an asteroid came three miles from hitting the earth, but sorry, Asterix pushes up nerd glasses, but it was a three mile wide asteroid that came 6 .4 million miles close to hitting the air.

[142] I think that sounds more right.

[143] I'm going to go with her.

[144] Whatever she said.

[145] Does that sound better?

[146] I'm on her side.

[147] Quite?

[148] Oh, you're being sexist by assuming it's a female scientist.

[149] I'm being pro -sexist.

[150] That's right.

[151] Finally, proactive sexism.

[152] Quite a bit of a difference, but I get it.

[153] Live your sexy life like an asteroid is about to straight up murder us all.

[154] This would be great for Corrections Corner.

[155] You're so right about that.

[156] All the best and lots of love, Brian.

[157] That's rad.

[158] Brian the girl?

[159] No. He also has a second name in the middle that's also a boy's name.

[160] Okay.

[161] So I can confirm Brian as a boy.

[162] Well, I don't, I am not sexist, so I thought it was a woman.

[163] I thought it was my daughter.

[164] That is so goddamn funny.

[165] That is great.

[166] It felt right.

[167] Yeah.

[168] Is he mansplaining asteroids to us, though?

[169] Well, it clearly we need it.

[170] He's explaining.

[171] I'm sorry, I meant to say explaining.

[172] He's plain -splaining it to us.

[173] He's just splain it.

[174] He's just, apostrophe, spleenin.

[175] Straight up spleening.

[176] That's my new podcast.

[177] where people splain shit to me. Oh, that's good.

[178] Straight up.

[179] You just introduce it.

[180] Yeah.

[181] Get the idea going and then just let other people talk about the facts.

[182] Hey, explain this to me. I've never realized how consistently wrong I can be up until this point.

[183] It's a real humbling experience.

[184] Like through the podcast, yeah.

[185] Yeah.

[186] But I wonder, do you, in your daily life now, do you question yourself?

[187] Oh, every moment.

[188] As you're hypothesizing.

[189] boldly um but i don't i mean like usually if somebody stands there and goes no actually that's not true i'll go oh okay because at this point i can't really argue it yeah it's happened so many times i'll be like oh all right you know you don't go are you sure oh sometimes i'll do that but and sometimes i can like see it in my mind's eye of like i can see the headline in my head it says three miles away but that's also my ADD from being on Twitter too much and reading articles I just read four words in the headline of an article Karen I can't do Twitter anymore because it's just killing it is it driving you crazy it's awful now it's really like just can't do it anymore it's making me really depressed it's very depressing my problem is it's where all my friends are many many of my friends that I talk to the most are there as tragic as that I is to say out loud.

[190] So maybe you just can have conversations, but I just like read shit.

[191] No, yeah, it's, I don't, I try not to read that much.

[192] Okay.

[193] And when I do, I do it inaccurately.

[194] Okay.

[195] Yeah.

[196] Well, I mean, listen, if it's working for you.

[197] Look, I like it.

[198] Look and listen.

[199] If it's working for you.

[200] No, but I will say this for resolutions.

[201] I don't know if you're comfortable doing some resolutions right now.

[202] No, I dig it.

[203] But as we say this, because part of why I think all that was just so funny to me is because I haven't, really talk to another person in like three days except for texties i've just been sitting on my couch watching british people solve crime for like 72 straight hours and i have to stop doing it go bless you i have to oh is that driving you crazy yeah i'm i have to leave my house i have to give the the world a try like i have to do things here's the thing you've already done that yes or no true it's failed you it's been bad be failed you be you've been sick yes or no yes very sick uh see you just spent like two weeks with family members constantly in friends that's right you're having a decompression okay thank you thank you for walking me out of that darkness yeah but you know what my decompressions go on too long yeah and then um yeah and then i'm just in the weirdest in just too weird of a place but i would also say that I've been on a six -year decompression that needs to wrap itself up relatively quickly.

[204] Can we start on Friday?

[205] Okay.

[206] Can we say Friday?

[207] Write that down in your...

[208] How about Friday 11?

[209] And then we have that phone call 1130.

[210] Right.

[211] And then you have to...

[212] I actually had to hire or like have my old life coach come back.

[213] Yeah.

[214] Because I was fucking up hard.

[215] Like that?

[216] Yeah.

[217] And one of the things we talked about was just put some makeup on leave the fucking house.

[218] There was one time I called you and you were in a cafe and in my mind I was like, wow, she's got it all.

[219] It was like a dream come true.

[220] It changes everything when you have to put.

[221] I never thought of it.

[222] Dude.

[223] It changes my fucking entire day.

[224] Yeah, I got to do it.

[225] Oh my God.

[226] Like today.

[227] I've left the house once in the past since New Year's Eve since New Year's Day and it was to eat oysters last night.

[228] And I don't think I've been around anyone but Vince.

[229] Yeah.

[230] Who's basically the same person as me at this point.

[231] You guys are very similar.

[232] So we're like the same part, you know.

[233] You're real team.

[234] It's like being alone.

[235] A little bit.

[236] Yeah.

[237] I can see that.

[238] So we just talk about cats, our cats, and point out what things our cats are doing.

[239] It's pretty cool.

[240] But you're also very funny.

[241] I mean, I've been the, you know.

[242] Me?

[243] He.

[244] We.

[245] Thank you.

[246] You're real witty.

[247] I really enjoy how you guys talk to each other so much.

[248] It's really delightful and fun.

[249] Thank you.

[250] Yeah.

[251] You're funny.

[252] travel with.

[253] Thank you.

[254] So are you.

[255] Yeah, thanks.

[256] Yeah.

[257] That's nice.

[258] Goodbye.

[259] Oh, speaking of traveling, really quickly, two shows that are not sold out.

[260] Oh, yeah.

[261] Are like, we're about to get into our fucking huge winter spring tour.

[262] And it's starting with Las Vegas on January 20th.

[263] There's a few tickets left.

[264] So go get those.

[265] Oh, that's going to be fun.

[266] If you're in L .A. and you can make the driver row.

[267] Yeah.

[268] I bet it'll be a good time.

[269] You know who's doing it?

[270] Who?

[271] Marty Hardstock.

[272] Is he really?

[273] He's coming on out.

[274] He's coming out.

[275] I think my sister and Adrian wanted to, but they can't swing it like workwise and stuff.

[276] But they were like, oh my God, that would be the greatest.

[277] It's in a casino.

[278] We're in a casino.

[279] It's going to be so fun.

[280] You can stay there, watch our show.

[281] We're just like Magic Mike for one night.

[282] I'm so excited.

[283] Dance routine.

[284] What if we get the Magic Mike dancers to come over and do a routine for us?

[285] And do a hometown murder?

[286] Oh.

[287] And we do a dance.

[288] We dance.

[289] They hometown.

[290] They hometown it.

[291] I'm wiping my nose on my shirt.

[292] Sweet.

[293] All right.

[294] And then the other one is 2018.

[295] The other one to mention is Salt Lake City.

[296] Night one, we're doing two nights there.

[297] Sold out second night, but night one still has some tickets, February 15th.

[298] Nice little, what is it called, Valentine's Day?

[299] Post -valentine's day.

[300] Wait, that's the 14th, right?

[301] Yeah.

[302] Okay, so whatever happens?

[303] That's Marty's birthday.

[304] The 15th.

[305] That's weird.

[306] Is it?

[307] Is he going to that one?

[308] No. So we'll have to give him a birthday present.

[309] At in at Las Vegas, Red Rocks, Casino.

[310] Right.

[311] Salt Lake City, first night, no matter what happens, Valentine's Day, drown your sorrows with us.

[312] SLC.

[313] That's fucking right.

[314] Progressive.

[315] College town.

[316] Remember that time we talked, we like said that Salt Lake City must be conservative and all that.

[317] Oh, did we hear from the Salt Lake Cittians?

[318] Yeah.

[319] They let us know.

[320] up to you.

[321] Yeah.

[322] For Valentine's Day.

[323] We fully respect you, girl.

[324] We're going to be checking fucking chocolate truffles out into the audience.

[325] Oh, we're going to get you so many roses.

[326] We're going to throw roses at you.

[327] We're going to, we're going to make you feel like a woman again.

[328] I mean, get ready.

[329] Maybe there'll be cleavage.

[330] Is that romantic?

[331] I can bring some.

[332] Okay.

[333] Will you bring yours because I don't have any.

[334] I can bring enough for four.

[335] Oh my God.

[336] Like if I really, really, really try, there can be like some slight, you know, uh, shadowing up here.

[337] But it's not cleavage.

[338] I'll do that for my abs and then you do it for your cleavage.

[339] I'll do a cut out middle duress.

[340] What about butt cleavage?

[341] That's a thing.

[342] I think I've got that too.

[343] Anything rounded that casts a shadow, I'm on it.

[344] Perfect.

[345] There you go.

[346] Perfect.

[347] Oh, one more email.

[348] Okay.

[349] This is just fun times.

[350] I can't believe 2017 is over.

[351] I know.

[352] I mean, it's done.

[353] I know.

[354] This is a brand new year, friend.

[355] I know.

[356] Let's do it.

[357] Let's absolutely do it.

[358] I mean, we have no choice.

[359] I don't know.

[360] What we do?

[361] I really believe in myself to a really fucked up degree.

[362] Well, no, you have a lot of choices, especially with this new podcast coming out because the direction, first of all, just doubling up on podcasts is going to be great for you.

[363] And then just the directions you're going to take it in.

[364] Yeah.

[365] It's just explaining.

[366] I'm going to learn and forget so much stuff.

[367] it's going to be great information is going to be coming at me i can't wait for you to not absorb any of it this is an email from kaley it says hi gals my name is cayley carter and i play sadie rose in godless oh fuck y 'all it was to my shock and delight that i turned on the podcast to hear our show as a source of delight to you oh my god when your podcast is one of my deep obsessions oh my god along with your crime and well anything murder related it's so badass and inspiring to hear ladies getting together to create and what you've created is so unfiltered.

[368] No, sure.

[369] What are you fucking talking about?

[370] The f***ing are you talking about?

[371] Sorry.

[372] Believe that.

[373] Kaylee, sorry.

[374] What you've created is so unfiltered, badass and empathetic.

[375] Just wanted to let you know that the ladies of LaBelle lost it on our communal text chain about you guys.

[376] Oh my God.

[377] A fan, Kaylee Carter.

[378] Okay, sorry.

[379] That was very self -serving.

[380] But oh my God.

[381] Steven, that's a good email to pull.

[382] Yes.

[383] Because I've been talking about this show nonstop.

[384] Everyone's talking about it.

[385] Really loved it so much.

[386] Really, really thought it was a beautiful piece of writing and work.

[387] So good.

[388] Well, thanks, Kaylee.

[389] Thanks, Kaylee.

[390] Say hi to that text chain for us.

[391] Can I, okay, so I've been having really bad insomnia lately.

[392] Yeah.

[393] As I do.

[394] And can I do a podcast corner?

[395] Do it.

[396] Podcast recommendation corner?

[397] So this chick has been keeping me company.

[398] Wow, I can't sleep for life.

[399] like four hours last night from three to seven.

[400] It was great.

[401] In my sleep phones, I highly recommend them.

[402] This is not an ad.

[403] They look like a sweatband, but they have like flat headphones in them.

[404] Oh, my God.

[405] So she's this lovely, soothing voice and the topics are really macabre and weird.

[406] It's called The Strange and Unusual Podcast.

[407] You listen to it?

[408] No. It's by Alison Horrox, H -O -R -C -S, which sounds like a fucking...

[409] Horax.

[410] It sounds like a spell.

[411] It sounds like a, exactly, from Harry Potter.

[412] Yeah, the horror cracks.

[413] There's 10 episodes and they're like, it's all macabre and like weird, you know, witchy, old gothic, timey, you know, catacombie stuff.

[414] Yes.

[415] It's really good.

[416] And is it true or is it stories?

[417] It's true stories.

[418] True story.

[419] Let me throw those two together.

[420] The one thing I didn't realize can be possible.

[421] It's like, it's true.

[422] It's almost like the strange, I mean, the mysteries abound.

[423] Yes.

[424] But she, like, does all the writing herself and tells you about it.

[425] It's really good.

[426] Sweet.

[427] Paul Rex, everybody, if you don't listen to mysteries about you got to.

[428] So the Strange and Unusual podcast, and it's called that because from Beetlejuice, when Lydia says, I myself am strange and unusual.

[429] Oh.

[430] Is that cute?

[431] Yes.

[432] I love it.

[433] Yeah.

[434] And she's just been kind of like keeping me company.

[435] The best.

[436] Yeah.

[437] Well, then if I'm to join you in this corner, I will do my recommendation, the person that's been keeping me company for my whole vacation.

[438] I can't remember.

[439] I think I've seen like either a TED Talk or some clip of him on British TV.

[440] But I, in driving, knew that I wanted to get, like, do a deep dive into something.

[441] And actually maybe learn something.

[442] So I looked up audiobooks by John Ronson.

[443] And he is a British reporter and a podcaster.

[444] He does a ton of stuff, author.

[445] He's written a ton of books.

[446] He wrote The Men Who's Derrick Goat.

[447] he wrote so you've been publicly shamed which is all about the social media thing he's done all this stuff so he has a book one of the ones I listen to is called Lost at Sea and it's just a bunch of different stories and articles that he's written and they cover everything from people who disappear on cruise ship and basically the rash of that happening to I can't remember anything else just being lost at sea in general just being lost at sea like you have to listen do it and he has okay my very favorite thing and i laughed so hard when i was listening to this i was in my room at my sister's house i was laughing so hard i was crying and i couldn't breathe and i was sick so i felt i thought i was going to die he interviewed the insane clown posse after the magnets how did they work song miracles came out and it is one of the funniest because he is a very straightforward very plain spoken and very direct interviewer yeah and he then reenacts the like the two guys an insane clown posse reacting to how much shit they've gotten like because they've been called yeah the worst band in history and like really terrible things and stuff so he kind of went and talked to them and it's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life oh my god I'm listening and he's just very like he's so endearing and he's really I don't know he's just super brilliant and a really hilarious amazing writer so anyway John Ronson tons of audiobooks and he also has a podcast called the butterfly effect that's about like working in the porn industry right right which I started listening to it it's a little bit um I'm worried I'm worried I don't I'm worried about having to hear people that that don't yeah doing well or something whereas I like if it's a story and someone's in the third person talking about it.

[448] It's a different thing.

[449] It's kind of like my 911 call issue.

[450] I get that.

[451] Well, really quickly, one that I'm not listening to, but I have listened to it and it's hilarious and I just want to give it a shout out because it's fucking incredible.

[452] Is the true crime podcast, Dunn Disappeared?

[453] Oh, I haven't heard it.

[454] No. It's a parody true crime podcast called Dun Disappeared.

[455] Yes.

[456] It's about missing girl named Clara Pockets.

[457] Uh -oh.

[458] It's hosted by John David Booter, and it's basically a parody of Up and Banished.

[459] Wait, John David Booter is not a real person.

[460] No, it's like, it's so, it's like this beautifully narrative, narrative podcast, like, someone knows something, let's say.

[461] Right.

[462] And it's done really well, and you hear the crunching of the gravel.

[463] And then he talks about these things that are at least yours, but it's all bullshit and it's all fake and it's like kind of corny and just so silly.

[464] It's so silly.

[465] It's so silly, and it made me really happy.

[466] Oh, that's great.

[467] Yeah.

[468] That's awesome.

[469] Doesn't disappear.

[470] I mean, that's so.

[471] funny it's like it is so popular these days that like you can it's like the american vandal yeah exactly you know has been nominated for i think a writers guild award yeah um that's so cool yeah it's just like this is a really well done documentary it's just about an absurd thing that's not real it's the same thing yeah it dig it's awesome yeah i love it i love it too all right i mean i wonder who goes first i mean whatever happened was in the past i mean whatever happened was in the It's 2018, and it's episode 102, which sucks that it's not 101 because we put up a live episode last week.

[472] Oh, live, that's right.

[473] Because we're on vacation.

[474] But, I know, but like, but that was one 2017 too.

[475] Right?

[476] Yeah.

[477] Yeah.

[478] So we can do whatever we want.

[479] We can do whatever we want.

[480] And the last one, technically, that we recorded here, we did together.

[481] Right.

[482] So it's a real clean slate.

[483] Clean slate.

[484] Blank.

[485] Everything is everything.

[486] thing um from here to eternity what if we make stephen pick one of us to go first that oh no pressure's on no wait what if we um what if we make stephen no i don't know let's um pick mustache hairs and we were to throw the clown doll on your moustache hair yeah can throw the clown doll in which everyone heads or tails whoever slaps it away hard enough okay stephen who goes first um um wait closing my eyes i don't know why that matters number uh 10 okay what day is your birthday 8th what's yours 11th what does that mean um mine's closer so do you want to go first you want me to go first it's the perfect system okay how about well i was going to say since you got it then you get a pick who goes first oh shit oh really so you're putting it on me nobody wants this part of the job that's why we give it to you okay well mine is long and gruesome what's yours it's i don't think it's that long okay okay I can go first.

[487] Okay.

[488] Good job, Stephen.

[489] Stephen, you've done it again.

[490] Hey, this is exciting.

[491] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[492] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

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[496] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

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[503] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[504] Goodbye.

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[525] Goodbye.

[526] Mine, and I had never heard this story before.

[527] This is more of a story, more of a case, more of a personality, because I don't think there's an actual murder that they know of.

[528] This is the Beast of Jersey.

[529] Have you ever heard of The Beast of Jersey?

[530] No. Okay, get fucking ready.

[531] I'm fucking ready.

[532] Okay.

[533] And willing.

[534] Great.

[535] I. Excuse me. Both of your feet are in the bucket.

[536] I'm going to suck my feet in a bucket and get myself ready.

[537] My medic.

[538] I like that we just kick off an episode with you having recovered memories and we just blaze right through it.

[539] We just keep on chatting.

[540] I mean, I'm clearly doing okay with, with, you're just doing it.

[541] I'm just doing it.

[542] Okay.

[543] So the Beast of Jersey's name is Edward Paynell or Paynell.

[544] I'm not sure.

[545] And this story, I stumbled upon it on a, as we know, we love the website Ranker.

[546] And Rancor is in there with all those serial killers and the serial killer, 15 most interesting things about this and that and whatever.

[547] And so at the bottom of one of those lists, they have additional lists where it's like this, this, all these links.

[548] It's like, thank you for my insomnia.

[549] Yes.

[550] It's amazing.

[551] Yeah.

[552] And it's all the 15 horrible things about the toy box killer.

[553] It's every terrible thing you could ever look.

[554] Okay.

[555] Love it.

[556] So on there, I found the Beast of Jersey, which I'm like, I assume New Jersey.

[557] And when you look it up on YouTube, there is a guy who starts, his videos start coming up as the Beast of Jersey, but he is a weightlifter in New Jersey.

[558] Oh, no. Who's just like swole and yoked and all the other things you'd say if he went to the gym.

[559] And he's calling himself the Beast of Jersey.

[560] Well, I mean, I think it's like, you know, that's the language of like he's in Beast mode working out.

[561] You didn't Google it, though?

[562] Why didn't he Google it?

[563] This one's from the 60s and 70s, so he's like, I'm the new...

[564] Right, okay, that's long enough ago.

[565] He didn't give a shit, yeah.

[566] He looks great in a tank top.

[567] He's doing good work.

[568] Good for him.

[569] I respect it.

[570] Good for him.

[571] 2018 is his year.

[572] That's right.

[573] I can feel it.

[574] So, guys, please go to Beast of Jersey YouTube channel and just support him.

[575] Give him a thumbs up.

[576] Because he can lift so much weight.

[577] Okay.

[578] I got the timeline of these crimes.

[579] the details, all of it from a blog that's called True Crime Enthusiast.

[580] I've used her once before for one of my, I can't remember which one, but it was a case when we were on a live show.

[581] And she, that True Crime Enthusiast is also a podcast, but I found this on her blog.

[582] And it was the most information of any, I couldn't find any other websites besides our dear old Wikipedia.

[583] everything on YouTube is like one of those three minute videos that it seems like someone in high school made that like I then started watching one and then it went off into some other thing where this woman who was narrating was like Canadian and yelling about how the government isn't going to admit to anything and it went crazy I had quite the afternoon listen let's get back let's focus look Jersey is one of the channel islands off the north West Coast of France.

[584] Got it.

[585] I thought it was in England.

[586] Well, it's not new.

[587] It's not a New Jersey.

[588] No. That's what I was hoping for.

[589] It's original Jersey.

[590] Okay.

[591] So it's right by Normandy off the coast out there.

[592] It's also by Guernsey Island.

[593] They have the best cows.

[594] Between Jersey and Guernsey, amazing, gorgeous cows.

[595] Right, Stephen?

[596] Stephen's crying.

[597] He loves this so much.

[598] Am I right, though?

[599] I don't know anything about cows.

[600] you do I think the Guernsey's are red and the jerseys are black and white are you being serious right now yes because you grew up in a town with a lot of cows yeah that's why you know that I didn't know if they were just making a facts about a town no no Jersey and Guernsey cows are like really high end listen explain something okay to me okay that's it about cows oh oh just if you want a high quality cow you're going to need a small island off the coast of France I'll take it that's where they're all from okay okay um On Google Maps, Jersey has a 4 .9 star review out of 43.

[601] Why are you reviewing fucking islands?

[602] This is me trying to scrape together information about Jersey in a way that can inform me. I was like, is it rich people?

[603] It seems like it's a very well -to -do people.

[604] They have a lot of great agriculture, obviously award -winning cows, really small.

[605] And although it is not a part of the United States.

[606] kingdom um english is the language that's the main language spoken there they use the pound they drive on the left they love soccer the national anthem is god save the queen but they are an independent parliamentary democracy so don't fucking say that they're british because they're not okay and in 2014 there were 100 ,000 people living there so that's it's not a big place okay but in november of 1957, a reign of terror began on this island that is so fucking crazy.

[607] And it went on for 10 years.

[608] And so it starts like this.

[609] A 29 -year -old nurse is waiting for a bus.

[610] Now, when all this gets explained, it's all, they break it up by like counties and parishes and stuff.

[611] But since it's all meaningless, I just figured we'll just do it.

[612] It's all happening on an island that's, I think, 49 miles wide.

[613] Great.

[614] It's a setting.

[615] Yes.

[616] Just picture.

[617] Do you ever watch Father Brown?

[618] It's a wonderful British.

[619] No. Pre -based crime procedural.

[620] All right.

[621] No, but I have an island in my mind.

[622] It's like I'm there.

[623] It's not tropical.

[624] No, no, no, no, no. Great.

[625] It's like a, yeah.

[626] That's like a damp, dewy, pastoral, beautiful island.

[627] That's it.

[628] Rocky cliffs.

[629] Yes.

[630] All this.

[631] Yes.

[632] Okay.

[633] Fog.

[634] Fog.

[635] And tons of bus stops.

[636] Right.

[637] So rural bus stops.

[638] Okay.

[639] So this woman's waiting.

[640] She's a 29 -year -old nurse waiting for the bus.

[641] She's approached by a man who's affecting an Irish accent.

[642] And he's wearing something on his face.

[643] She can't see his face.

[644] And before she knows what's happening, he hits her on the head.

[645] He puts a rope around her neck and he drags her into a nearby field and rapes her.

[646] Oh, no. And even though she has a bunch of stitches and she's severely injured, she survives.

[647] A year later in March, the exact same attack happens, a year later.

[648] This time, the woman's 20.

[649] She's walking home from the bus stop.

[650] And again, a man approaches her.

[651] A rope is put around her neck.

[652] She's dragged into a nearby field and raped.

[653] Four months later in July, exact same crime.

[654] Oh, my God.

[655] This time, it's a 31 -year -old woman.

[656] She's walking home from the bus stop.

[657] Again, rope around her neck, dragged into a field, exact same thing.

[658] And then again, in August of 1959, but this time it's a young girl.

[659] and then again in November to a 28 -year -old woman.

[660] So it's the exact same crime happening, like relatively four months apart.

[661] So all of the victims tell the police the same thing.

[662] He put on this Irish accent.

[663] He was wearing a mask of some kind or his face was covered in some way.

[664] He's about five foot six, and he smells musty.

[665] So after this series of attacks, he comes to be referred to.

[666] is the beast of Jersey.

[667] But then in 1960, his MO changes, and he starts attacking people inside, indoors, in their homes.

[668] So it's Valentine's day in 1960.

[669] A 12 -year -old boy wakes up to see a man standing at the end of his bed.

[670] He's climbed through the boy's window.

[671] He's wearing an old rubber mask and a woman's wig.

[672] Oh, God.

[673] And he's holding a flashlight in the boy's face.

[674] He places a rope around the boy's neck, leads him outside into a field where he's raped.

[675] so a month later a woman walking up to the bus stop meets a man who drives by claims that he's a doctor that he's on his way to pick up his wife and he offers her a lift and then she gets in the car and she's like oh it's just this old guy and it you know what doesn't think anything about it until she turns to see that he is wearing an overcoat and a hat and gloves and as she's starting to put that together of how weird that is.

[676] And she also can't see his face.

[677] It's like she can't make out his face because it's dark.

[678] He's, by the time she realizes what's going on, he's driven to a secluded spot.

[679] He ties her hand behind her head, beats her inside the car.

[680] Then he drags her out of the car into a field, rapes her.

[681] Then he puts her back into the car and he starts to drive again.

[682] She jumps out of the moving car and starts screaming for help so he bails and he's not found.

[683] Damn.

[684] Okay.

[685] So the same month, this one's super creepy.

[686] So it's a mother and daughter in a remote cottage.

[687] Uh -huh.

[688] The daughter's 14.

[689] So it's 12 .30 at night.

[690] The mother is awoken by the phone ringing downstairs.

[691] So she gets up and she goes down to answer it.

[692] When she goes, she picks up the phone.

[693] There's no one there.

[694] She hears a click.

[695] And then the phone, she hears the dial tone.

[696] So she goes back upstairs.

[697] and she goes to bed.

[698] An hour later, she hears a noise downstairs.

[699] So she goes and she goes out into the landing over the top of the stairs.

[700] She flicks on the lights.

[701] That's how I pictured in my head.

[702] At some point, she turned the lights on.

[703] She walks downstairs.

[704] And when she gets downstairs, the lights cut out.

[705] Then she realizes someone is in the living room.

[706] So she grabs the phone to call the police.

[707] The phone line's been cut.

[708] Oh.

[709] Yeah.

[710] So suddenly a man grabs her, demands money, and threatens to kill her.

[711] And as she's struggling with this man, her 14 -year -old daughter comes out onto the landing.

[712] And the man immediately releases the mother and runs to where the daughter is.

[713] And so the woman runs out of the house to go get help, but the neighbors, gets the neighbors, runs back.

[714] And they find the daughter is alive, but she's been raped with the same M .O. as all the other victims.

[715] April of the same year, a 14 -year -old girl wakes up to find a man in a mask watching her sleep.

[716] What the fuck?

[717] She starts screaming and then he takes the mask off.

[718] No. Uh -huh.

[719] In July, an 8 -year -old boy is abducted from his home.

[720] He's raped in a field and then he's led back but the rope around his neck to his front doorstep.

[721] Then the attack stop for the rest of the year.

[722] So, of course, this is a tiny island of people.

[723] And people are fucking shitting a brick.

[724] Because it's also definitely someone who lives there.

[725] Yes.

[726] So it could be anyone.

[727] Exactly right.

[728] They are interviewing every, they immediately interview every single man who has ever committed a crime at all.

[729] Like the police are just, they have no idea what to do.

[730] So they're doing anything they can.

[731] So everything stops.

[732] So that's July, everything stops for the rest of the year.

[733] Then in February of 1960, it starts again and this time the ammo changes again now it's all young children so in by April of 1961 three children have been attacked and raped so finally the police call in Scotland Yard yeah um so Scotland Yard puts together this profile of like the M .O. and of the attacks oh my god love it and they basically tell the island you guys have to start like self -policing and keeping your eyes open because you have to help us catch him right like as much is we can't be everywhere and we have to we all have to do something about this so keep your eyes peeled so he's 40 to 45 years old he's five six or somewhere around that height he has a medium build he has a mustache his face is usually covered by a mask or a scarf during the attacks he enters through a bedroom window on a moonlit night sometime between 10 p .m. and 3 am.

[734] carries a flashlight he knows the island well especially the eastern part and he wears a thigh -length jacket that smells musty a hat and gloves so but he's he's still not found and there's no attacks for two years so there's that's another part of it is there it's like a swell of these horrible crimes and then it just stops and I think there's probably part of that human reaction is it's done we're done and like don't look around and don't keep looking into this like it's over right right then in April of 1963, a nine -year -old boy is attacked with the exact same MO.

[735] And then in November of the year, an 11 -year -old boy is attacked.

[736] Same.

[737] And then in July of 1964, a 10 -year -old girl.

[738] And then in August, a 16 -year -old boy, then nothing for two years.

[739] So even that, that overall pattern starts to have a pattern.

[740] And then in 1966, the Jersey police received this letter.

[741] My dear sir, I think that it is just the time to tell you that you are wasting your time, as every time I have done what I always intended to do, and remember, it will not stop at this.

[742] But I will be fair to you and give you a chance.

[743] I've never had much out of this life, but I intend to get everything I can now.

[744] I've always wanted to do the perfect crime.

[745] I have done this, but this time let the moon shine very bright in September, because this time it must be perfect.

[746] one but two.

[747] I'm not a maniac by a long shot, but I like to play with you people.

[748] You will hear from me before September, and I will give you all the clues just to see if you can catch me. Yours very sincerely, wait and see.

[749] Oh my God.

[750] Yeah.

[751] So in August 1966, there's a savage attack on a 15 -year -old girl, but this time there's a new detail.

[752] There are long parallel scratches down the torso of the victim.

[753] And then that's the final attack for four years.

[754] Wow.

[755] Then in August of 1970, a 13 -year -old boy wakes up to a flashlight shining in his eyes.

[756] He's taken out of the house with a rope around the neck.

[757] He's led to the field.

[758] He's raped, attacked, led back to the house.

[759] This time the beast tells the boy, stay quiet because if you don't, quote, something will happen to your mother and father.

[760] So the parents find the boy disheveled enough and he tries to say nothing's wrong.

[761] And finally, he breaks and tells the parents everything.

[762] And when he's taken to the hospital or inspected by police, I'm not sure which one, but they basically, on the boy, they find the same long parallel scratches that they found on the girl from 1966.

[763] And the boy tells police that the man had black, spiky hair and a terrifying mask on.

[764] A year later, this is July 10, 1971.

[765] Two policemen are sitting in a traffic light.

[766] at a red light.

[767] It's 11 .45 at night.

[768] And a car speeds past them, runs the red light, and is driving erratically.

[769] And so, of course, they throw on their lights or however they do it in Jersey.

[770] And they get into a high speed chase with this car.

[771] And it's total Jason Bourne style where on this blog, she was saying the guy drove up on the sidewalk.

[772] he was like doing everything he could to get away from these cops in this tiny fucking island yeah that's so crazy driving everywhere and basically finally he drives through a hedge and into the middle of a tomato field and like comes crashing do a stop gets out starts running through the tomato field the cops get out chase him on foot they tackle him they arrest him they bring him to the police station and finally when they get into the light of the police station they see that he first of all they notice in the car with him how musty his coat smells and it strikes them immediately that it's like just this weird gross smell which is what every single one of his victims mentioned that's crazy that it was that fucking bad that they were like that gross immediately um so then when they get into the light of the police station they see that there are one inch nails poking up out of the shoulders of his coat and out of the the lapels of his coat and around the cuffs of his coat and around the cuffs of his coat.

[773] So he has sewn in one inch nails to stick out, like punk rock style, stick out of his coat.

[774] And then they see that he has cloth wristbands that he is made tied around his wrists that also have one inch nails sticking out.

[775] So then they see that his pants are tucked into his socks.

[776] He's wearing slippers and wool gloves.

[777] And then they check his pockets.

[778] So in, in there, he's got a flashlight with black tape over the light part with just a little slit so only a tiny bit of light will come out of that flashlight so no one will notice it yeah so he can basically control and direct the light um oh my god when he's breaking into houses right um then they find two lengths of what they call um sash cord which i think means like curtain curtain curtain cord on him he's got empty cigarette packs, rolls of duct tape, and a black wig with stiff, spiky hair.

[779] And that's when they find the mask.

[780] Are you ready to see the mask?

[781] There's your mask.

[782] I'm going to go.

[783] I'm going to leave.

[784] Look at that.

[785] Oh my God.

[786] Let me see that.

[787] It is so fucked up.

[788] Okay, so what that mask is is it looks like it looks like edward's scissor hands if he were in a fire it it's like edward scissorhers and michael meyers had a baby totally and that baby was a fucking a rapist was a horrifying monster child monster the scariest okay the mask is the reason i read the article about him because it's the scariest thing i've ever seen yeah that's actually real because i was like oh i'm going to look this up and this is going to be fake like because that's so horrifying you wake up and that's standing at the end of your bed no no it's so no no no so that's in his coat pocket that mask that mask is in his coat pocket and the wig isn't so the wig he wore the wig in there separate so the wig was in one pocket and that wig is hard like it's all stiff and hard it looks like gross like gross dreadlocks yeah and it almost looks he almost looks like um like medusa yeah like he it looks like snake snake hair what is that mask made out of because it looks like it's made out of real human skin it is i think it's an old rubber mask oh my god so he was just it was like pre -holloween the scariest mask of all time um okay so he sorry i got so excited to show you that picture i left the page halfway through actually i'm gonna turn this upside down because it's so awful i don't want to stare at it it's not cool at all my god that It's terrifying.

[789] Those poor people.

[790] I know.

[791] So it turns out that this man, the beast of Jersey, is Edward Paynell.

[792] He's a 46 -year -old contractor from a wealthy family.

[793] He has a wife named Joan.

[794] He has a daughter and two stepchildren.

[795] He is well respected throughout the island.

[796] And he's very kind of prominent.

[797] There's a real Ted, not Ted Benny, John Wayne Gacy parallel.

[798] because he and his wife first met when he worked as a handyman at the foster home that her mother ran called Le Preference.

[799] And he would often visit to hand out candy and during the holidays, dress up like Father Christmas.

[800] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The children knew him as Uncle Ted.

[801] Yes, of course they did.

[802] Of course, the police investigate.

[803] They find out that Joan and Ted's marriage is not a happy one and that, in fact, they're basically man and wife in name only that he has built himself basically an annex off of the house so he has an office and like living quarters and this whole thing that's separate from the house so he can come and go as he pleases and his wife says he keeps odd hours because he's a big fisherman and he likes to go on long walks at night so he's you know he's up and out of the house at all hours and it's how he's been for years oh god yeah so um i wonder if she suspected him ever and just like didn't ever want to say anything or didn't couldn't accept it or i mean you would think with the marriage being so unhappy that he moves you know he builds himself a new part of the house to live in that something bad was happening but there's a video of joan that i saw yeah because there's an actual like uh old you know what looks like BBC footage or whatever and someone's interviewing her and she just looks like no the man I know would never hurt a child and she's she seems like she means what she says of course but then who knows because there were um lots of abuse allegations yeah at this foster home and at other so there's another part of this but basically all these abuse allegations at different foster homes on the Isle Island of Jersey.

[804] Against him specifically?

[805] No, against these people.

[806] It's super crazy.

[807] That's part of the black hole I fell into, which is watching these videos from other victims of who lived at these other, like, I think they call them home care.

[808] Yeah.

[809] But it's basically their, one is a, this one is obviously a foster home.

[810] big phosphorus like an orphanage essentially yeah but another one the worst one or you know from what the stories i saw was of course it was a catholic um uh you know send your babies here if you're having them out of wedlock and we'll raise them for you because you're not allowed to have children meanwhile they beat the living shit out of them and rape and molest them and all this horrible stuff is happening there and they have the real people who lived there talking about being woken up in the middle of the night by the people that work there and led down into these cellars.

[811] And they actually, it was so bad that the police started investigating and they found shackles.

[812] They dug up these cellars and found shackles along one wall.

[813] And they found all these bones, children's bones there.

[814] Like, it's crazy, terrible.

[815] It ended up leading to an investigation called Operation Rectangle.

[816] and it recorded a total of 553 alleged offenses with 151 named offenders and 192 victims on this island where in 2014 100 ,000 people lived.

[817] So insanity, like something super fucked up was happening.

[818] Oh, that's so dark in that like top of the lake type of thing where it's like, oh, you don't know the secrets that go on in these.

[819] Yes.

[820] And apparently that kind of like privacy and all that is a real big deal there, of course.

[821] And part of the reason people live there, but then that breeds this kind of like nobody talking about anything and nobody knowing about anything.

[822] You can kind of hide in plain sight as like a fucking creep.

[823] And the underrepresented and the marginalized that gets sent to, you know, some horrible home somewhere.

[824] Yeah.

[825] You know, then it suddenly becomes.

[826] So, so anyway.

[827] basically they go to his house with a you know to look into his house and um they find they they oh she the quote that she said was he's the most loving caring man who would never hurt a child joan joan okay so when the police questioned him about why he was driving so crazy.

[828] He told them that he was on his way to an orgy.

[829] And that's why he was dressed so oddly, because he didn't want anyone to recognize him on the way to the orgy.

[830] Because, of course, everyone would know where he was going.

[831] Right.

[832] In his car.

[833] Right.

[834] Then he explained away the nails sticking out of his clothing that he wanted to be prepared in case anyone attacked him with martial arts.

[835] I told the police.

[836] I do that too.

[837] Uh -huh.

[838] It's always going to be ready with a series of nails.

[839] Uh -huh.

[840] Nail jewelry.

[841] Yeah.

[842] Um, so when they search the house, they find a locked secret room inside his room.

[843] Oh, my God.

[844] He's already got his own annex.

[845] Oh, my God.

[846] Then he's got a locked secret room.

[847] Tell me, what's in it.

[848] Well, guess what it smells like?

[849] Must.

[850] Yes.

[851] He loves must.

[852] I don't have a frieze that shit?

[853] I mean, it's like one of the fucking clues.

[854] I mean, uh, apparently this whole room smelled like the jacket.

[855] Oh, my God.

[856] And inside the room, they find an old blue track suit.

[857] They have find an old raincoat.

[858] homemade wigs, which for some reason I find bone chilling.

[859] Yeah.

[860] And false eyebrows, which is also very creepy.

[861] Yeah.

[862] So he was clearly playing with his appearance constantly.

[863] So even if they said, oh, I was also at that bus stop and I saw that woman, but whatever description they would give would never be accurate.

[864] Yeah.

[865] Which was his plan.

[866] And what they start to realize is he had these plans set in place for years.

[867] Yeah.

[868] He, because they found a camera hanging on a hook and then they found photos of houses from around the island and eventually they got out of him that he would choose his victims sometimes years in advance he would take a picture of the house he would memorize the map of the house he knew exactly whose room was whose and what window to go into so he would never he never accidentally went into some wrong window and it was in the parents room yeah he always knew which room the children's room was oh my God.

[869] And he knew exactly when to go and when they were by themselves or when everybody was asleep.

[870] Like he planned it meticulously for years.

[871] This is scaring me like no other story we've done has scared me. It's the fucking scariest thing of all.

[872] He is the legit boogeyman.

[873] Yeah.

[874] Like crazy.

[875] And then basically the nails for real were if somebody caught him.

[876] Right.

[877] Tried to grab his hand.

[878] Tried to grab his shoulder.

[879] He would get away.

[880] Oh my God.

[881] Like, he had all these things planned to make sure he never got caught.

[882] And that's why it happened for so long.

[883] What a psycho.

[884] Then they also found what they called in, in the blog I was reading, she refers to it as black magic and things related to black magic.

[885] But in another article I read, they were like a full on altar to Satan in his barn behind a red velvet curtain, which none, that was not mentioned in any way in this blog, which I could.

[886] I kind of, I trust her.

[887] She's so thoroughly researched.

[888] Yeah, that's a little David Lynchy.

[889] It's a little, where to get a red curtain and how come no one noticed a red curtain in a barn?

[890] Yeah.

[891] I mean, it's always possible and it would be very striking and effective for black magic uses.

[892] You're like, I'm in the middle of a field filled with gorgeous cows.

[893] I turn around.

[894] Here's this curtain out of nowhere.

[895] Okay, so anyway.

[896] all kinds of satanic shit though in this room um so basically that i mean that's it he goes to trial and on november 29th 1971 it took 38 minutes to declare him guilty of all charges he's sentenced to 30 years in prison that's it and he gets out in 20 what he was a model prisoner he's paroled in 1991.

[897] Stop it.

[898] Yeah.

[899] Stop.

[900] He goes to prison in 1971 and he gets out in 1991.

[901] What the fuck?

[902] But the...

[903] He tries to move back to Jersey.

[904] Oh, hell no. And the people are like, yeah, no way.

[905] So he ends up moving to the Isle of White and he dies there of a heart attack in 1994.

[906] So I think the Isle of White is, from what I know, I think one of my favorite bands is from the Isle of White.

[907] And I think it's real sparse.

[908] would you look that up really quick, Stephen, think?

[909] He's already doing it.

[910] But, oh, my, 20 years?

[911] 20 years.

[912] Because it's all rape.

[913] I know.

[914] And this was the 70s.

[915] When they were like, oh.

[916] Yeah, I wish that was not like that anymore.

[917] I know.

[918] Well, it's getting better, though.

[919] Certain places, sure.

[920] Like, a serial rapist would not, would not get out of jail in 20 years.

[921] They don't do that anymore.

[922] I mean, I know every case.

[923] I'm trying to, oh, I forgot, I forgot to believe you on everything.

[924] Okay, good.

[925] Yeah, okay, great, great, great.

[926] Thanks for telling me here.

[927] Let's see.

[928] Okay.

[929] Was I right about the Isle of White?

[930] Yes, the Bees.

[931] I love that fucking band.

[932] The Bees.

[933] Chicken Payback.

[934] Best song ever.

[935] Stephen, you just, you just looked up the musicians.

[936] Wait, but do we know anything about the, here, here.

[937] Let me just actually say.

[938] Notable bands from.

[939] Oh, whatever.

[940] Isle of White.

[941] It's the second, it's the largest and second most populous.

[942] island in England so I was totally wrong about that.

[943] We'll do a show there fine oh my god let's go to the Isle of White okay they have a really good um music festival there I believe that again that could be bullshit um I believe you know I believe me uh oh so anyway then oh this is the final thing in that operation rectangle the police and had to actually announce um that there was no firm evidence linking Paynell to any of the abuse that took place at that Catholic nun home.

[944] It was called the Haute de la Guerin.

[945] I did not pronounce that right.

[946] Where really terrible things happened.

[947] So they had to say, there's no, you know, Beast of Jersey is not connected to this.

[948] Although he was known to be a regular visitor there.

[949] Oh, what a coincidence.

[950] So basically they're just saying there's no firm evidence, but he also came here all the time.

[951] Yeah.

[952] And horrible things happened to.

[953] And he likes the children here.

[954] To hang out at this place.

[955] Yeah.

[956] Horrible, horrible.

[957] And freakishly, like, how did I never hear of any of that before?

[958] Well, I have a similar one.

[959] Horrible, horrible, freakish.

[960] How did I never hear about this before?

[961] Oh, shit.

[962] Okay.

[963] Another list of horrible things that have happened.

[964] Yes.

[965] This one I've heard the name that I'd never heard of.

[966] I'd never known what happened.

[967] surprisingly um this is the mad butcher of kingsbury run aka the cleveland torso killer oh shit god damn it were you gonna do it for cleveland i yes but i knew it's such a good one that has we have neither of us have done for so long that it's just been dangling out there yeah well done you thank you i swooped in i apologize got to do it but here i here i go here you go let me try to make do it give it justice and everything.

[968] So 1930s Cleveland, it's the sixth largest city in America, but it's the most dangerous because they have a high rate of traffic accidents, which sucks, and rampant organized crime along with antiquated police force.

[969] One of the high crime areas was on the south side of the city known as Kingsbury Run.

[970] It's a riverbed like ravine located near the suburb of Shaker Heights, and it's where the train tracks run along.

[971] So a lot transients riding the rails in the 1930s would camp out there.

[972] And in the Depression era of 1930s, it was this dark, dreary, dangerous place.

[973] And there was a lot of, there was a lot of let's see.

[974] It was like a hobo camp at that point, basically.

[975] Yeah.

[976] So, and hobo is okay to say.

[977] I know, right?

[978] Yes, it is.

[979] Many people told us, it stands for Homeboy, which means like I'm on my way home boy right like i'm on the train yeah okay so um it's a makeshift they call it a hobo jungle and um it's just that it's just this crazy transient encampments with box made of boxes and you know it's thrown together houses and this sort of thing um and it's right next to uh a place known as the roaring third which is kind of like this neighborhood that's home to bars and brothels flop houses gambling places.

[980] It's like the fucking down and dirty area.

[981] All grimy.

[982] And this is the setting where the most notorious murder cases in Cleveland's history start to happen.

[983] Wow.

[984] In September 1935, two teenage boys, and this is a lot of people stumbling along a lot of body parts in this up, in this show.

[985] Yep.

[986] So in September 1935, two teenage boys playing at the base of Jackass Hill and Kingsbury run.

[987] Yes.

[988] Yep.

[989] How could you knock on a jackass hill every day if you were like 12?

[990] Yeah.

[991] I'm going.

[992] Yeah.

[993] Where else will we play?

[994] Please.

[995] Um, but, but, but okay.

[996] All right.

[997] So they discover the decapitated, emasculated.

[998] Oh.

[999] They call it body of a white male.

[1000] Oh, shit.

[1001] Can you fucking imagine?

[1002] Like, is it worse to come upon a body or fucking headless body?

[1003] Headless body.

[1004] Yeah, you're right.

[1005] That's been emasculated.

[1006] yeah that's horrifying yeah so their lives are ruined because here's the thing can I just say yeah if you come upon a body you don't know what happened and a number of things could have happened right you come upon a headless emasculated body you immediately know someone did that to that someone like headless and emasculated him someone did it intentionally yes it's the worst car accident of all time which it isn't okay the body is naked except for a pair of socks and I know worst I know cleaned and drained of blood and um the cause of death is the decapitation yeah which is horrifying but sorry cleaned and drained of blood like black dahlia style oh oh wait um so the area is being searched by the police they get there they're like probably talking those kids down from freaking the fuck out oh my god and around 30 feet away, another male corpse is found.

[1007] This body, in the same position and the head and genitals, also had been removed.

[1008] The body appeared to be a 40 -year -old male, covered with a chemical preservative, and appeared to have been dead for at least a couple of weeks before being dumped after becoming to decayed, almost as if someone had tried to preserve the body wherever he was, wasn't working, got rid of the body.

[1009] Super creepy that we can hear a train right now.

[1010] Fucking.

[1011] riding those rails.

[1012] Scared me. I know.

[1013] Right?

[1014] Can you hear that, Stephen?

[1015] The mad butcher Kingsbury Run is on that train right now for all we know.

[1016] Well, there hasn't been a train gone by here in over 25 years.

[1017] Okay.

[1018] Close to the bodies, though.

[1019] They find both heads as well as both sets of genitals.

[1020] They discarded them as though they had just been thrown away.

[1021] No blood is found in the ground or on the bodies.

[1022] and so they had been cleaned somewhere else.

[1023] Oh, yeah.

[1024] The younger man, the first body that was found, had been dead for about three days, and his fingerprints were able to lead him to who he was.

[1025] He was Edward Andressee.

[1026] He's a 28 -year -old guy who minor police record for carrying a concealed weapon.

[1027] He near Kingsbury run.

[1028] He was kind of a rough -and -tumble dude.

[1029] He had a reputation for being a drunk and frequently getting into fights.

[1030] And when I did the autopsy, based on the cuts, the operation was done very skillfully, and the investigators suspected that the killer might be a butcher, a surgeon, or at least someone familiar with killing animals.

[1031] Which seems like it's always the case.

[1032] Like, I think if you don't know what you're doing, you don't try to start doing that.

[1033] Or like, you get, you kind of get like a fetish for it.

[1034] Yeah.

[1035] If you do it to like animals, maybe?

[1036] Maybe if you're a certain certain certain sort of psychopath.

[1037] Right.

[1038] Oh, sorry.

[1039] That was the the John Ronson book that I started with audio book was the psychopath test.

[1040] That's the whole reason that all started.

[1041] And it's such a good book.

[1042] Sorry.

[1043] Oh, you're good.

[1044] I should have said that before.

[1045] But it basically there's no difference, the relatively no difference between a psychopath and a sociopath.

[1046] It's all, he goes into all of that.

[1047] But anyway.

[1048] It's relevant.

[1049] It's very relevant.

[1050] But like that you couldn't just a normal person if you were going to kill somebody, even if you planned it out.

[1051] Yeah.

[1052] If you were, you would have to be devoid of feeling to do all that stuff yeah because you yeah you'd you'd have to be a certain mental type to be able to clean a body drain it of blood cut it cut it cut pieces of it off yeah like the thought of so like I'm a pretty normal person and the thought of having to you just you just nodded your head in the most sarcastic way was that involuntary it was silent it was was that involuntary it was conversational I appreciate it though because I don't want to be normal I mean in that I'm not a psychopath so the thought of having to go from here to killing someone is such a huge leap that the people who are okay doing it must be close must be fucking closer to that already 100 % you know what I mean yeah I don't think it's a I don't think it's like a line in the sand I think it is a total is light on or off because there's nothing worse like when you're watching a movie and people like Like, ugh, what was that fucking, oh, that movie, the Ewan McGregor movie, he would let, made him a star.

[1053] Oh, um, where they kill their roommate.

[1054] Oh, transpired.

[1055] No, no, no, no. Um, it was the one where they, it was the three roommates, they decided to kill the fourth roommate, or maybe they don't kill him, but he's dead and they cut up his body.

[1056] And it basically, having to watch people who aren't like that have to do something that horrible is like, like, I hate any movie like that.

[1057] I mean, it's a good movie, but it's so stressful.

[1058] Okay.

[1059] Because then you just picture you would have to do that.

[1060] Well, did you watch second season of Search Party?

[1061] No, I haven't watched it yet.

[1062] It's so good.

[1063] They're all just dealing with them.

[1064] I'm not going to spoil it, but they're dealing with the ramifications of the first.

[1065] And what's her name?

[1066] Aaliyah Chakrat.

[1067] She is so good.

[1068] She's such a great actress.

[1069] She's a great actress.

[1070] And this whole season of her just having stress over what, what they did.

[1071] It's amazing.

[1072] It's really hard to watch.

[1073] I get that's very stressful.

[1074] oh it's shallow grave sorry okay it's a good movie but so stressful in that way we're just like too they do it for money but like when you when you entertain that idea yeah where you'd be like what would it take for you to cut up a human body yeah i just don't there isn't an amount of money i don't think so for me either i'd rather go to jail because it would PTSD you into infinity totally okay totally the older man the second body is impossible to identify and that's a fucking theme.

[1075] Most of these bodies that are found are never identified.

[1076] They hope that would be easy to find the killer because the guy who they could identify, Edward, was, you know, had this trail through sleazy bars and gambling places.

[1077] And he's known to be a procurer of young girls for prostitution and also admitted to have male lovers.

[1078] So it's like, it's going to be one of these people from this area of the roaring.

[1079] He was a gay pimp in Cleveland?

[1080] Uh -huh.

[1081] Yeah.

[1082] He's from the Roaring Third.

[1083] They're like, it's going to be someone here in Kingsbury Run.

[1084] easy but they follow lead after lead and they can't find any really good suspects and it leads the investigation leads nowhere so the press starts calling him calling the killer the mad butcher of kingsbury run which is like such a cool fucking name yeah it's really good so a couple months later in january of 1936 a woman discovers two half busheled baskets left alongside a manufacturing building in the city inside the basket baskets and neatly wrapped in In the newspaper, she finds about half the body of a female.

[1085] Whoa.

[1086] The rest of her body is found about 10 days later in a vacant lot nearby.

[1087] I mean, people are stumbling upon a nightmare after a nightmare.

[1088] Also, if it was wrapped, it said it was wrapped in newspaper.

[1089] So she unwrapped it and be like, what's in here?

[1090] She's like, this could be a stack of money.

[1091] Yeah.

[1092] That's totally what I would be like, look at this stained wet money.

[1093] I can't wait to unwrap it and spend it.

[1094] Fuck, no. So fuck.

[1095] Also because it's the, like, you're saying depression error.

[1096] She's like, is this fucking food?

[1097] Maybe this is food.

[1098] I'm starving.

[1099] Let this be.

[1100] How about some nice dishes?

[1101] Nope.

[1102] How about a nightmare for the rest of your life?

[1103] Some nice dishes from the five and dime.

[1104] Okay.

[1105] The cause of death, again, is decapitation.

[1106] Fingerprints identified the body as Florence Polilo or Flo.

[1107] She's this fucking, like.

[1108] Flo Polilo.

[1109] Flo Polilo.

[1110] She's this, like, salty fucking older woman.

[1111] And there's like a good photo of her online.

[1112] She's a waitress, a barmaid, and a sex worker.

[1113] She clearly doesn't give a fuck.

[1114] Carries a shank in her purse, like obviously.

[1115] She's doing it.

[1116] She's getting hurt.

[1117] She's stacking that paper.

[1118] Until she got decapitated.

[1119] As the time of her death, she lived right on the edge of the roaring third, and her head is never found.

[1120] Whoa.

[1121] Okay.

[1122] In June of 1936, in Kingsbury run, two young boys are fucking out doing stuff, and they find the head of a white male wrapped in a pair of trousers.

[1123] What?

[1124] Fuck.

[1125] Those poor kids.

[1126] Police found the body of the 20 -some -year -old man the next day.

[1127] So they found the head.

[1128] Then they found the body the next day.

[1129] Dumped in front of a police building.

[1130] Whoa.

[1131] Cleaned and drained of blood.

[1132] Everything's intact except for the head.

[1133] Again, caused by decapitation.

[1134] Which is like, we're going to really talk about it.

[1135] I don't want to.

[1136] That's the fucking one of the worst ways to die.

[1137] He died of decapitation.

[1138] Even fast, isn't it?

[1139] Yeah, you got to hope.

[1140] what if it's like for 20 minutes you're alive in your head that's why worse but that's why you want someone who's actually good at who's like is a butcher or a surgeon yeah you don't want someone hacking away your neck no no no you want a nice guillotine style boom make it quick what was that i didn't feel anything lord jesus is that you yeah or whoever your lord might be okay i'll take anyone at that point Yeah.

[1141] Just get me out of here.

[1142] Yeah.

[1143] A plaster reproduction.

[1144] Okay, this is creepy.

[1145] A plaster reproduction of the man's head, because they couldn't identify him, along with diagrams of his tattooed, are displayed so the public can try to identify him.

[1146] And it's this creepy, like, plaster mask.

[1147] It's so gross.

[1148] That's the one thing I do remember about this.

[1149] Like, all the details are very fuzzy until you say them, but I can see those masks.

[1150] There's a lot of them.

[1151] And you actually can see them in Cleveland.

[1152] We should go.

[1153] And at the Cleveland Police Museum, they have.

[1154] have a bunch of that we're going.

[1155] Two ticks.

[1156] I thought you were going to pull that out.

[1157] I did that.

[1158] He's called the tattooed man and he's never identified.

[1159] So in July 1936, while walking through the woods near the west side, a teenage girl comes across the decapitated remains of a white male in his 40s.

[1160] The victim had been dead about two months in his head as well as a pile of bloody clothing was found nearby.

[1161] Like, who is doing this?

[1162] Also, two months?

[1163] That thing.

[1164] Yeah.

[1165] Did she not from 50 paces show this something smells terrible?

[1166] But probably back then everything smelled bad.

[1167] Oh, true.

[1168] No. True, true, true.

[1169] This was back when you had to put deodorant on, it was in a pot and you had to put it on like cream deodorant.

[1170] I've ever seen that?

[1171] No, and you didn't probably shower a lot, right?

[1172] Yeah, and you just slapped on some cream deodorant.

[1173] Yeah, no. Gross.

[1174] By hand.

[1175] No. Mm -hmm.

[1176] So this time there's an enormous quantity of blood, so they're like, he must have been killed.

[1177] there.

[1178] In the forest?

[1179] Yeah, in the woods.

[1180] Then in September 1936, so two months later, a transient trips over the upper half of a man's torso while trying to hop on a train in Kingsbury Run.

[1181] Oh, did he get on that train?

[1182] I don't know.

[1183] I hope so.

[1184] He is trying to catch a train and he trips, and that's what it is.

[1185] Insult injury.

[1186] Police send a diver into a nearby swimming hole, like sewer area and find the lower half of the torso and parts of both of his legs.

[1187] I hope that diver was compensated handsomely.

[1188] Handsomely.

[1189] Because also it's a swimming hole, so it'd be all murky.

[1190] It's really probably a gross place.

[1191] It's more feeling around than diving with your eyes.

[1192] Yeah.

[1193] Okay.

[1194] This victim, who's the number six victim, is in the late 20s cause of death, decapitation.

[1195] Corner notes that the head had been cut off with one bold, clean stroke, which indicated strong, competent killer, very familiar with the human anatomy, and that the victim died instantly.

[1196] So that's good.

[1197] Thank God.

[1198] Identifications never made.

[1199] Because, you know, this is a time back then where it's all these transients trying to get jobs.

[1200] They're riding the rails from city to city, trying to not be in the cold, freezing cold winter, trying to make a little bit of money anywhere they can.

[1201] So it's just this huge transient population.

[1202] Yeah.

[1203] So these, and it seems like the killer, you know, use that to his, his, advantage because if they can't identify the victims they can't track who they spoke to who they were who they were friends with yeah clearly it was a decision that was being made exactly of who to pick exactly um so uh plaster casts again are made and some with actual hair from the victims no and the plaster cast not necessary no we get it brown hair yeah that's all you just type that on a card Mm -hmm.

[1204] So, this makes six brutal killings in one year, and the police had no clues or suspects.

[1205] The press reported almost daily on this.

[1206] Everyone's freaking the fuck out.

[1207] Yeah, the officials are super desperate and embarrassed, and everyone's like, what is crap happening?

[1208] Everyone's like, watch where you walk.

[1209] Don't walk anywhere.

[1210] Tripping over bodies has become a big thing here.

[1211] Yeah, it's the new, it's all the rage.

[1212] Around this time, around the time that these started, Elliot Natchez who's the legendary Prohibition Agent, you know, we all know L .A .N .S. It's Kevin Costner.

[1213] I remember watching The Untouchables when I was a kid, and I shouldn't have.

[1214] That's not a kid movie.

[1215] No, I will never forget.

[1216] And I will never forget there's a scene where he takes a baseball bat and bashes someone's head in.

[1217] I haven't seen the movie since I was a kid, and yet I still remember that scene very well.

[1218] Yeah, yeah.

[1219] Really fucked me up.

[1220] He was the good guy, right?

[1221] Uh -huh.

[1222] Yeah.

[1223] Yeah, I didn't know.

[1224] I don't know why that was.

[1225] Anyways, Elliot Ness.

[1226] So he, at this point, is appointed safety director of Cleveland, which means he's in charge of cops and firefighters and everything.

[1227] He gets more involved in the case.

[1228] They put a psychological profile together saying that the offender was a psychopath, although probably not obviously insane.

[1229] He had some knowledge of anatomy, and he would have been very skilled at cutting flesh, obviously.

[1230] Because decapitations are very messy.

[1231] it was believed that he had access to some private space where the murders were performed.

[1232] And if this was true, then the fact that the bodies had been carried long distances to be dumped, indicated that he was probably really strong.

[1233] So he also may have been familiar with the Kingsbury Run area.

[1234] And, yeah, and then two full -dime detectives are put on the case.

[1235] These two dudes go undercover into Kingsbury Run, like Shantytown, which sounds so much fucking fun, doesn't I?

[1236] Oh, shit.

[1237] Why isn't there a movie about this?

[1238] I don't know.

[1239] Because that's amazing.

[1240] I think it's called The Adventures of Natty Gann, isn't it?

[1241] She went into a shanty time to solve decapitation murder?

[1242] Oh, no, no, no. That's part two.

[1243] She was so brave, that little girl.

[1244] That would kind of be amazing.

[1245] Female empowerment.

[1246] She just gets tripping over torso.

[1247] Marching through.

[1248] Hand me that head.

[1249] She didn't give a fuck.

[1250] So they get a fucking go.

[1251] undercover there's like photos of them too online of like being like oh look at me being a hobo and it's like it's like if you were to dress up as a quote hobo for fucking Halloween like how you'd look no sorry can I sidebar this yes because I did dress up as a hobo one year okay I may have told you yeah it was my own idea because right around age eight I think my mom started telling me I was on my own Halloween costume style so it was just like whatever you could gather around the house was your costume a hundred was that one time i was a caddy because i found old and a small old set of golf clubs in the garage then only so you just carried golf clubs around with you the whole night yeah that was my costume was how did we manual labor how did we why didn't we why didn't anyone care what your kids and then you go you dress as a fucking caddy and then it's like go out by yourself at night and knock on people's doors and ask for candy but it didn't i didn't make it to the night with the caddy outfit because at school in this like Halloween parade I learned my lesson of like I'm carrying 20 pounds of golf clubs for an hour reason but and also in this day and age can you imagine a parent being like make your own costume yeah they would be arrested and like you'd never hear from them again yeah um so anyway I the that year I became I was a hobo so I just had a bunch of old clothes and you know it was the classic 70s child costume sure but what I thought was going to be innovative is I put Vaseline on my face, and then I put coffee grounds on the Vaseline so that it looked like I had a beard.

[1252] And it was fun and creative until the part where we all ate delicious snacks started happening and everything I ate tasted like coffee because that was what was on my face.

[1253] And I ruined Halloween for myself.

[1254] No, my mother ruined Halloween for me. I think the 70s ruined Halloween.

[1255] How did any of us enjoy fucking anything?

[1256] that's a great question it was all abazaba anyway okay go ahead um they're dressed up like right okay thank you they interview more than 1 ,500 people it becomes the biggest police investigation in cleveland history and then on february 3rd 1937 a man finds the upper half of a female torso washed up on shore on the shore east of brattanol that got that wrong Rotanol?

[1257] Brotanol.

[1258] Broughtenol.

[1259] B -R -A -H -T, Brat, E -N -A -H -L.

[1260] Bratanel.

[1261] I hear Cleveland screaming it at us from the audience right now of our fucking Cleveland show.

[1262] It sounds like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, right.

[1263] Like, like, Scooby -Doo talk.

[1264] Right.

[1265] Unlike all the previous victims, the cause of death had not been decapitation, because that had happened after she had already been dead.

[1266] And the lower half of the torso washed ash ashore three months later at about East 30th Street, the woman was in her late 20s.

[1267] she's never identified.

[1268] Wow.

[1269] So it's weird to that again, like with your dude, they're changing up the MOs.

[1270] Yes.

[1271] So it's almost like, you know, nobody's fucking safe.

[1272] Yeah, because if they do it long enough, they're like developing and fine -tuning to their own creepy.

[1273] I mean, it becomes for both these cases, it's not about, it's not, it's about the act, not about the victim and not about the want and a need.

[1274] It's more like about this obsession.

[1275] Yeah.

[1276] So it doesn't matter if you do it on a boy or a girl or a grown woman or you know right it's all the yeah it's the planning and the and the and the picking and the right it's enjoying it's enjoying it's being a psychopath yeah it's being a murderous lunatic psychopath totally June 1937 a teenage boy discovers a human skull um next to it in a burlock bag can is several remains of what turned out to be a petite black woman so this time it's a black woman which changes the emo she's about 40 years old dental work shows that she is Rose Wallace and police follow every lead they have on her, but nothing is found.

[1277] Then in July 1937, the National Guard had been called to maintain order at the flats or where, you know, everything's going on.

[1278] And a young guardsman is standing watch by a bridge and sees the first piece of victim number nine in the wake of a passing tugboat.

[1279] Ooh.

[1280] Over the next few days, police recovered the entire.

[1281] fire body except for the head from the waters of the Cuyahoga River, the victim who had been mutilated, what was in his mid to late 30s, he's never identified.

[1282] God.

[1283] It's crazy.

[1284] Did it come off the tugboat, perhaps?

[1285] Ooh, that's a good question.

[1286] I mean, like, did it make anyone go maybe that?

[1287] Because if you were on a boat, if you were the captain, say you were like a crab fisherman or something.

[1288] Okay.

[1289] You're not near the ocean, but some, that is a, it's a vessel or.

[1290] you could be by yourself and you could clean things and you could rinse things off in the water in the water that surrounds you that's a good point thank you um let's look into that okay in 1938 a young laborer is on his way to work in the flats and saw what he first thought was a dead fish along the banks of the kayahoga river turns out to be the lower half of a woman's leg oh this is victim number 10.

[1291] A month later, police pulled two burlack bags out of the river containing both parts of the torso and most of the rest of the legs.

[1292] She's never identified.

[1293] Wow.

[1294] Okay.

[1295] Then in August 1938, three scrap collectors foraging in a dump site, which are like, don't do that in Cleveland right now, guys.

[1296] Guys, this is the time where you maybe get into writing.

[1297] Right.

[1298] Maybe go internal.

[1299] Yeah.

[1300] Don't do any kind of garbage -based, uh, activities.

[1301] No, exactly.

[1302] They find the torso of a woman, wrapped in a man's double -breasted blue blazer, then wrapped again in an old quilt.

[1303] The legs and arms are discovered in a recently constructed makeshift box, wrapped in brown butcher paper and held together with rubber bands.

[1304] And this is the weirdest one to me because it makes me think that they're, and obviously this is one of the ideas, it's a lot of different killers, because this one's like, it's disposed of so differently.

[1305] And I'm shocked that they couldn't find any clue based on that from a suit jacket where back when everything was tailor made yeah from the suit jacket to the to the box to the rubber bands to the quilt it's like it's so crazy that they couldn't find anything and and maybe if it just if it were the same killer they're they've done it so many times that now they're taunting the police of like here's a ton of clues and you're still not going to find me yeah could be yeah um so Okay.

[1306] Yeah, because there's a big difference between a burlap sack and a blazer.

[1307] Yeah, it's very weird.

[1308] And it's like it's hidden more than it, more than it was.

[1309] And it was in a dump site.

[1310] So it was like it wasn't left out to be found.

[1311] So I bet this one is, I bet this one is made, is like the husband made to look like it's one of the victims.

[1312] Oh, yeah.

[1313] Of the torso killer, smart, that you think.

[1314] And it says that some of the parts look like they had been refrigerated.

[1315] while searching for more pieces the place discover the remains of a second body only yards away never mind so well maybe that was her lover maybe here we go these two bodies have been placed in a location that was in plain view from Elliot Ness's office window whoa so yeah toying with him well also that his office was close to a dump site yeah like the dumps yeah essentially yeah wow I wonder if theories what well if it so maybe it was like let's say it was the husband who killed the the wife and the lover and wanted them to get found because he wants the insurance money but they're going to just assume that it was killed by the torso killer so it wasn't like he murdered them right I don't know that'd be a great plan yeah thank you and that mean and by that I mean terrible I mean awful really so August 18th 1938 at 1240 a .m. Elliott Ness and a group of 35 police officers and detectives raid the hobo jungles of the Kingsbury run.

[1316] They arrest 63 men there and they search the shanties that they are now deserted looking for clues.

[1317] But you can't decapitate an emasculate a body in a shanty.

[1318] So they just go after the poorest unrepresented people.

[1319] Well, they think because all these bodies seem to be of transients, that it must be one of their own doing.

[1320] it.

[1321] But yeah, they're not going to do it in the shanty.

[1322] There's very little privacy in the shanty town.

[1323] That's true.

[1324] From my experience.

[1325] That's a country song, I think.

[1326] Any time to myself in the shanty town.

[1327] And then they set the shacks on fire and burn the whole fucking shanty town to the ground.

[1328] Yeah.

[1329] That's what the fucking Cleveland people said, too.

[1330] What the fuck?

[1331] Non -solution.

[1332] Non -solution.

[1333] The press are really pissed off about it, too.

[1334] They criticize Ness for his actions.

[1335] But the murders did stop after this happened.

[1336] Oh, maybe.

[1337] Okay.

[1338] In July 1939, they bring in their suspect, 52 -year -old, Bohemian bricklayer Frank Dolzal.

[1339] Dazzal, Dahl.

[1340] Oh, like Rachel Dolesal?

[1341] The woman who posed to be black?

[1342] How did she spell it?

[1343] D -O -L -E -Z -A -L?

[1344] I think.

[1345] Yes.

[1346] That was off right off the top of the top of the end.

[1347] Those all.

[1348] Well, what a rich history that family has had.

[1349] I mean, so he's arrested because he had lived with Flo, our friend Flo, and who had been, was the body that was found in the baskets.

[1350] He had lived with her for a while, and it revealed that he had been acquainted with the two other identified bodies, Edward, and Dr .C. and Rose Wallace.

[1351] Oh.

[1352] So after a. ton of questioning and getting beat the fuck up by investigators.

[1353] He confesses that he had stabbed her, killed her in self -defense, but he didn't know any of the case details, and it didn't, it, he kept getting bruises and injuries from his time in custody with the Cleveland police, and within a month, he, in custody, he's found dead in his cell.

[1354] Oh, no. It said he hung himself with his bed sheets.

[1355] he from a a hook that was five foot seven inches tall off the ground and he was five foot eight oh so that math doesn't add up and when they medical records show he had four broken he had broken ribs and bruises all over his body that were not there before he entered prison yeah so not fucking I'm just telling you the information I read not saying anything that's really good call but yeah that's dead all sounds the problem with that too is when you kill the suspect even if it's a bad suspect you still don't know anything right like you're you're still cutting off that line of information well it's almost like you you're not learning anything and you get more and more angry about it and so you hurt him more and more to get more information but if he doesn't know the information he can't give it to you right so yeah yeah um um To this day, no one thinks that he is the killer, all the, like, historians and shit.

[1356] So, but it turns out there's a secret suspect that Elliot Ness interrogated in 1938, but it didn't come out who it was until the 1970s.

[1357] Was it Herbert Hoover?

[1358] It was Herbert Hoover.

[1359] Turns out it was a deranged doctor.

[1360] Of course.

[1361] Sorry, I love that.

[1362] Yeah.

[1363] Dr. Francis E. Sweeney.

[1364] And he sounds like, you know, a fucking classic deranged doctor, a murderer type.

[1365] Love it.

[1366] He's a veteran of World War I who was part of the medical unit that conducted amputations.

[1367] Why did you just laugh, Stephen?

[1368] I was trying to cover up a sneeze.

[1369] Oh, okay good.

[1370] We're like, oh, Stevens finally is fucked up as us.

[1371] Oh, no, he's sneezing.

[1372] I thought you laughed so hard that you, like, had to cover your face.

[1373] What if Stephen, that's when it's revealed, Stephen's intensely evil and how.

[1374] has been this entire time.

[1375] It's the thing that gets him is World War I amputees.

[1376] Yeah.

[1377] It's his fucking favorite.

[1378] That's when Stephen's real personality, Steve, comes out.

[1379] Hey, Steve.

[1380] Okay, so he's part of a medical unit that conducted amputations and patchings up in the field.

[1381] During the interrogation by Elliot Ness, who's like, at this point losing his shit because he's so embarrassed that he can't find the killer.

[1382] Sweeney said to have, quote, failed to pass to polygraph tests.

[1383] but they were kind of in their early stages at the time.

[1384] So that's, you know, we don't totally know.

[1385] Back then it was just a third cop holding your finger.

[1386] And I go, lying, not lying.

[1387] Very early, rudimentary.

[1388] That's exactly right.

[1389] You can see that.

[1390] You can see that in the Cleveland Cop Museum, too.

[1391] Just that same cop sitting there.

[1392] We're going to go meet him.

[1393] Look, it's the original lie detector.

[1394] It's just screaming in people's faces.

[1395] That guy.

[1396] O 'Leary, he was amazing.

[1397] Lie.

[1398] Best lie detector.

[1399] He was a lie detective.

[1400] That's right.

[1401] I don't know.

[1402] It seems that, okay, so it seems like Elliot Ness definitely thought that fucking creepy Francis E. Sweeney was the killer.

[1403] But there isn't a lot of information on it because it turns out that Sweeney was the first cousin of one of Elliot Ness's political opponents, Congressman Martin L. Sweeney, who had been hounding Elliot Ness in the press publicly about his failure to catch the kill.

[1404] killer.

[1405] So he was about to run again.

[1406] So it would look really bad if he was like, well, guess what?

[1407] It's your cousin who's the killer.

[1408] And no one would believe him.

[1409] And then if he were wrong, he would ruin his career, L .A .S.'s's career too.

[1410] Very high stakes.

[1411] Right.

[1412] So he's like, fuck, I can't do this.

[1413] But I totally think it's this dude.

[1414] And then he was like, told everyone, don't fucking tell anyone.

[1415] And no one fucking told anyone until this dude was writing a book in the 1970s.

[1416] And was like, shit.

[1417] It was fucking Frank E. Sweeney.

[1418] So after he comes under suspicion, Dr. Sweeney commits himself to an insane asylum, and there are no more leads or connections that police could assign to him as a possible suspect.

[1419] From his hospital confinement, he's threatening postcards signed by Sweeney, mocked and harassed, sent to Elliot Nass, and they mocked and harassed him and his family into the 1950s.

[1420] Whoa.

[1421] He'd sign them F. E. Sweeney, paranoid, paranoid nemesis.

[1422] Paranoidal?

[1423] Paranoidal nemesis.

[1424] Wow.

[1425] Mm -hmm.

[1426] Of course.

[1427] I mean, that's like kind of admitting that you did it.

[1428] Oh, yeah.

[1429] That's crazy.

[1430] Yeah.

[1431] He's crazy.

[1432] It's possible, of course, that there were many murderers and copycats, which I think might be the case.

[1433] Similar decapitation murders occurred in neighboring Newcastle, Pennsylvania as well from 1923 to 1940, and none of those were ever solved either.

[1434] So there's a lot of similar cases.

[1435] And before the first two bodies were ever found in 1930, before, a woman's torso washed up on this shores of Lake Erie outside of Cleveland.

[1436] The victim's flesh had also had the chemicals on it that looked like it'd been trying to embalm her.

[1437] And they called her the Lady of the Lake, but it wasn't until later that they put those, they made the connection that they were all, they could have been the same killer.

[1438] Oh, wow.

[1439] But, but, but, but, but, do, do, do, do.

[1440] Okay.

[1441] Okay.

[1442] So it's also been theorized that the Cleveland torso murder cases, have some connection to the January 1947 murder of Elizabeth Short, aka the Black Dahlia.

[1443] Yes.

[1444] In fact, one of the many suspects from Cleveland was living a few blocks away from where the body of the Black Dahlia was found, severed and a half and drained of blood.

[1445] No fucking way.

[1446] Way.

[1447] So somebody that got interviewed for that way back in the 30s.

[1448] For those murders.

[1449] In Cleveland.

[1450] 15 years before.

[1451] uh -huh moves out to sunny CA couple blocks away to try his handed acting uh -huh or what have you fuck yeah like what are the fucking chances the very low i would guess or was he was he like of maybe he did kill her and he just wasn't also the killer of the torso people in cleveland that would even wouldn't not even be more of a coincidence yeah no no no because he'd been following the murders that whole time in Cleveland.

[1452] He was like, that sounds like fun and he killed her.

[1453] So he was copycatting as well.

[1454] Yeah, either way, he killed the Black Dahlia.

[1455] Shit.

[1456] Yeah.

[1457] But it's interesting to note that Dr. Sweeney, who didn't die until 1964, spent the rest of his life committed.

[1458] He was allowed to leave for days or weeks at a time.

[1459] Why?

[1460] Because he committed himself.

[1461] Oh.

[1462] Until his permanent institutionalization in 1955.

[1463] So maybe that motherfucker went to California for all you know.

[1464] Yeah.

[1465] Where'd he go when he got to?

[1466] leave great question oh um nests's inability to catch the killer drove him fucking crazy and it also tarnished his reputation which we know is like fucking super historic and yeah godly um and official police records on the case have been lost destroyed or removed and so cleveland police museum dot com a lot of good information there and a lot of photos and there's some gruesome ones too just so you guys know and also a website called prairie ghosts .com got a lot of good information there as well nice so that is the the Cleveland torso killer or the mad butcher of kingsbury run wow yeah also the fact that that that ends with hooking up to another great unsolved mystery is insane.

[1467] Like, it's so good.

[1468] I know.

[1469] And crazy.

[1470] Yeah.

[1471] Because then that means, potentially, it's, say, 30 years from now, they find some kind of whatever.

[1472] Like, what if one day it's solved and it's not, it's the black dahlia and the mad butcher of Kingsbury run?

[1473] Do you think the black dahlia will ever be solved?

[1474] I mean, that's what I asked for for Christmas.

[1475] So, yes, I believe that Santa can hear me. a spec of DNA and then they put it through CODIS and it's related it's the relation DNA that they have now that's so cool oh yeah where it can be like uh it you're the the the person who's matches is is related to this other person who's in CODIS oh so even if they're not in codis which because they'll be so old it wouldn't be in there but they could be like this is the person's great grandson so they could track them down anyway yeah if that person is in codis did you ever listen to that series and I'm not going to be able to remember it off.

[1476] Oh, no, I can.

[1477] It's Hollywood and crime.

[1478] Oh, yeah.

[1479] Did you listen to that?

[1480] And it's like basically all those there were a bunch of similar murders before and after.

[1481] That podcast is so fucking good.

[1482] Hollywood and crime, if you haven't listened to it.

[1483] Man, it's good and it is, it wades right into all this whole the Black Delia territory.

[1484] The Black Delia thing is it's so much bigger than you thought.

[1485] Yeah.

[1486] And it's a great podcast.

[1487] Yeah, it tells all these stories.

[1488] It tells it's so well it's like it's reenactments i feel like i recognize some of the actors that are playing like the cops and stuff yeah there's some really good voice acting in it yeah listen to it from the beginning because it's not it's episodic it's not yeah and you need to know because there's all these it's all connected it's like it's so good uh that was great uh thank you cleveland cleveland we'll see you soon um okay all right Good job us.

[1489] Good job, us.

[1490] That was really fun.

[1491] 2018.

[1492] Let's do it.

[1493] More haunted trains in the background of 2018.

[1494] I can't ever move from here or else I'm not going to have a haunted train.

[1495] I know what's the best.

[1496] Should we start recording from a fucking train box car?

[1497] Yes.

[1498] Box car.

[1499] From the dining car of a train where we have to wear like 40s outfits and those pillbox hats with netting down the front martinis snoots martinis with tons of olives i mean here's the thing if more if we get threatened by nuclear war even just a little bit more i feel like i should start drinking again i feel like nothing bad will happen um i think wait till the first bomb is dropped okay and then i support you but then you're right you're right would it be a bummer if you died of a seizure before you could die of nuclear holocaust wait until you're ready to die of a seizure okay promise me but here's the thing just so it's just as an FYI the liquor and the seizures are not directly related the reason I can't drink is because my medicine is bad on my liver so you can't you basically like will like speed yourself and deliver failure if you keep drinking but it's not good for it but it won't immediately make me have a seizure.

[1500] Okay.

[1501] So how, until how long?

[1502] I think I got a good six months bender in me before I drop.

[1503] I don't think that we're going to be around that much longer.

[1504] Okay.

[1505] I think this, this nuclear holocaust is coming.

[1506] Now, this is the end where we say something positive.

[1507] Well, I guess is the upswing after the murders.

[1508] I had such a good time doing jack shit over the holidays that I'm like, you know what, when the nuclear, Vince and I're going to hole up in here, we've got water.

[1509] We've got cat food.

[1510] We've got cat food.

[1511] I will like to say this.

[1512] Dude, if I got in an argument with someone about how I wouldn't eat my cats.

[1513] What the fuck?

[1514] And they were like, you have to?

[1515] I just remembered I got really mad at this guy, my friend's cousin at the Magic Castle.

[1516] Good.

[1517] Because we got in this argument about like, you would eat your cats.

[1518] I'm like, I'd kill myself before I eat my cats if I'm like, if I have to.

[1519] And he's like, no, you wouldn't.

[1520] I'm like, fuck you.

[1521] I got like so mad.

[1522] And I was like, why am I talking to this guy and turned away?

[1523] Also, first of all, have you ever seen this cat?

[1524] There's not a ounce of meat on his body.

[1525] That's what I was saying.

[1526] For what?

[1527] Three extra days?

[1528] That's just giblets.

[1529] Yeah.

[1530] You got nothing going on in that cat.

[1531] That pouch on his belly is just skin.

[1532] That's, yeah, you could, you could chew on it.

[1533] Yeah.

[1534] Still.

[1535] So I'd have three extra days of living knowing I'd eaten my cat.

[1536] I'd rather just die.

[1537] Sorry.

[1538] Why are we entertaining this?

[1539] This is a person that's someone's cousin.

[1540] You don't even know them and they're telling you how you would be.

[1541] Do they know that my cats have Instagram account?

[1542] Yeah, they don't know shit about your cat.

[1543] Because I feel like that.

[1544] are money makers.

[1545] You're not going to eat them?

[1546] I love my cats so much that I have an Instagram account for them.

[1547] I'm not going to eat them.

[1548] That's the only way to prove love anymore.

[1549] I know.

[1550] Yeah.

[1551] Like when a vet tries to tell me about how to take care of my cats, I'm like, they have an Instagram account.

[1552] Clearly, that's like all I think about it.

[1553] And then you just slam the door.

[1554] And they have 6 ,600 follower.

[1555] Bill me. Anyhow, so peace and love to everybody.

[1556] Oh, this is what I was going to say.

[1557] Don't take the nuclear strike off your worry table.

[1558] Okay.

[1559] because there are just reams and loads of people in between there is no button on his desk okay that's not how it's happening yeah and there's people there's things happening do you think that they put like one of those staples you got you got that buttons on his desk and like here no it's totally and it goes bing bong and then he keeps pressing yeah um yeah there's it's it's not going to go down like that okay all right i'll worry about other things in the meantime i feel like i feel like i feel like i feel like Like, there's so much to worry about.

[1560] And that one is so overarching as a child of the, as a true child of the nuclear age.

[1561] Right.

[1562] Where that was actually a true concern of ours, like they would talk to us about it in school.

[1563] Yeah.

[1564] That's how old I am.

[1565] Don't do that to yourself because it's just, you know, it's just because, in the dark thing to say, but it's like, because you, maybe the thing you should be worried about is getting it by bus.

[1566] Like, you just don't know.

[1567] Yeah.

[1568] We don't know.

[1569] I'm thinking globally.

[1570] and I, with problems, and I need to think locally.

[1571] You need to act locally, yeah.

[1572] That's right.

[1573] And I need to make you a martini, clearly.

[1574] Oh, man. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, and I know I've said this before, I'm really good being a drunk.

[1575] I'm just like, I don't slur, I don't try to tell you secrets.

[1576] I don't fucking do any of that shit.

[1577] Well, then why would I want to hang out with you?

[1578] Give you a drink.

[1579] Because I bring all this other stuff at the table.

[1580] Slurring and secrets are my favorite.

[1581] How do you feel about fistfights?

[1582] Because I think as a girl, you probably haven't gone into the, realm the way you could have the way you can't but they didn't one fist fight do you know that i do i've never actually gotten into a fist bite but one time in a total whiskey blackout at on new years at the san francisco punchline in the 90s i a girl leaned across the bar and started yelling at the bartender now it could have been his girlfriend she could have been doing a bit it was a comedy club i do not know what was going on all i know is the next thing i did is grab her finger and twisted around her back and because it the bartender was really nice and it made me like what she was doing was so fucking irritating to me and then the next thing I knew there was a big circle of people standing way back from me and the girl was crying and going why did you do that and then I was like uh -oh what did I do I had no idea what I did and then my friend like basically had to usher me out because I was like wait what happened and I didn't know that I'd finger assaulted her you're not getting a drink i'm sorry it it gets pretty serious pretty quick um but it sounds fun it is fun well you know what it is because you know sometimes you go out and nothing happens yeah that would never happen with me there's always something is going to go down oh man all right last day on the planet yeah meet me here great with a bottle of well let's go out my lord okay let's meet here and then we're going to go somewhere okay yeah we'll start here Oh, and you know, Vince is like the funniest drunk.

[1583] That's where he's the greatest.

[1584] Yeah.

[1585] And he'd probably be able to keep me in line.

[1586] Yeah.

[1587] I would say, Stephen, you're our designated driver.

[1588] Perfect.

[1589] No. Stephen, you're going to do last day Uber.

[1590] Uh -huh.

[1591] And it'll be a vance.

[1592] We'd pick people up.

[1593] Yeah.

[1594] So that sounds fun.

[1595] Stay sober.

[1596] And in meantime, I'll start doing some research about one of those weird hidden bunkers that holds 500 people.

[1597] We'll figure out where there is one that a man's been working.

[1598] on for years we'll go have a rave since the 80s and we'll just collect up drugs we'll get people who have good drugs okay good liquor good personalities and we'll all go into a mountain lots of dogs dogs would be fun but then there's cats he can go in like a backpack or something okay um all right all right great that's my happy thought perfect i feel like we just did that yeah i mean i think that's we covered that there's lots to be stressed about these days but also don't forget in your stress then And also just start making up a fun plan.

[1599] Okay.

[1600] To kind of counteract your stress.

[1601] I think it relieves tension.

[1602] Something we'll look forward to.

[1603] For sure.

[1604] Okay.

[1605] I like it.

[1606] Okay.

[1607] Thanks for listening, you guys.

[1608] Welcome to 2018.

[1609] Guys, we're so happy to be in this year with you.

[1610] We're going to do it.

[1611] We're going to make this year count.

[1612] We are.

[1613] So stay sexy.

[1614] And don't get murdered.

[1615] Bye.

[1616] Elvis, you want cookie?

[1617] Whoa.

[1618] That was a good one.

[1619] He's right there.

[1620] He's so ready.

[1621] Thank you.