Holiday Spectacular 2019

[0] Guys, thank you so much for being a part of the Christmas special.

[1] We're so happy to be here.

[2] Thanks for having us.

[3] We showed up in our Christmas pajamas.

[4] Everyone came festive.

[5] I didn't even have to tell people to dress up.

[6] They just did.

[7] That's how you know you've invited the right people.

[8] Okay, well, all right.

[9] And then Scotty, of course, really delivered because, as we know about Scotty, he's a big Star Wars fan.

[10] So we found a way to be both festive Christmas -wise and still honor the fours.

[11] Absolutely, with the new movie coming out.

[12] Honor the Force We're promoting Star Wars here today That's what we're doing Well really all things Disney I think Yeah true And now that there's a plus There's enough to go around There is so much to go You watch the Mandalorian No is it good You're not a big Star Wars fan I'm not I feel very I'm not Missed out on it Mish yeah Said the Disney lady over there I know no I like it She's gonna get a call from Bob Iger directly Don't people like think you love it Did you like randomly I used to because I used to be, I did a movie about Star Wars fandom called fanboys.

[13] Yeah, how great is that movie?

[14] It's pretty good.

[15] You know, we love you in that movie and we love that movie.

[16] Produced by her ex -boyfriend, Kevin.

[17] Kevin, man. Really nice guy.

[18] We were together for six years.

[19] Oh, fantastic.

[20] Congratulations to him.

[21] What do you think about this?

[22] Two Christmases ago, we were in Oregon.

[23] I was listening to MPR going to get snacks.

[24] And there's a story about that mice, they sent them through.

[25] through the maze and they had their brain hooked up to electrodes and they were recording the impulses.

[26] Then they put another rat in the maze with the helmet on and played back the impulses and the rat knew the maze.

[27] First time in the maze.

[28] So what they had really done is recorded the mice's memory of learning the maze.

[29] How?

[30] Like through weight?

[31] Like through electric impulses.

[32] Yeah, it recorded the electrical activity and then it played it back to the new mice who had never been in the maze and they could do it like and half the time.

[33] Okay, so I have something that's very similar to share with you on 60 Minutes, like a year ago, they had this guy who created this mind -reading thing.

[34] So, like, the guy from 60 Minutes asked the question, our favorite guy from 60 Minutes.

[35] Scott Pelley.

[36] Yeah, Scott Pelley.

[37] He was...

[38] We love Pellet.

[39] It's the best.

[40] So big.

[41] Enorm.

[42] 235 pounds of muscle.

[43] He's very sexy.

[44] Yeah.

[45] He's just focused, is what he is.

[46] So he asked the guy, This guy was like wearing some device on his head, right?

[47] The guy goes, ask me a question.

[48] He says, okay, what's the population of Indonesia?

[49] I don't know, some crazy question.

[50] And the guy thought of the answer, and it printed out on the screen.

[51] No. Yeah, it's crazy, yes.

[52] Remember that?

[53] I remember.

[54] You can Google that show.

[55] It's unbelievable.

[56] So when I was hearing the mice thing, I thought, oh, are we nearing an arrow where we can record our memories?

[57] And then I went straight to monetizing it because I'm a greedy, little pig.

[58] And you know what I thought, I could sell sexual experiences with Kristen Bell.

[59] Oh my God.

[60] Do you know how much guys would pay around the country?

[61] It would be a full memory of $1 .99.

[62] The whole thing.

[63] It would just come right out of my head into yours and you would have this memory of having slept with Kristen.

[64] Don't you think I could make several hundred dollars?

[65] Yeah.

[66] So you're just at the memory of it?

[67] You don't have the experience of it.

[68] Isn't that enough sometimes just to like think back of some joyous experience?

[69] It's all that's what everything is.

[70] Just brain waves moving.

[71] Well, with this new technology, though, where remember it was sort of controversial when it came out where you can manufacture someone's voice and now you can manufacture someone's face.

[72] And I heard last night at our white elephant party, the context we saw it in was like, they were having a presidential speech and they made him say a bunch of mumbo -jumbo skibbity pops.

[73] And it was like, oh, you could really put anything in anyone's mouth.

[74] And on that topic, they're using it in the porn industry where they're putting celebrities faces, heads on girls, and it seems 100 % real.

[75] And you're one of them.

[76] Putting anything in anyone's mouth, if you know what I mean.

[77] Do you know you're one of them?

[78] Yes, I do.

[79] Wait, you are?

[80] Ew.

[81] I hate that.

[82] Ashton told me this while we were shooting.

[83] He goes, you know, Kristen's been animated in some porn.

[84] And I had no idea.

[85] And it just occurred to me, I didn't tell you when I got.

[86] I'm just now realizing I never shared that with you.

[87] Very cool if he hit me up with stuff like that.

[88] Just like, just a little head up.

[89] Was it good?

[90] I didn't see it.

[91] Let's pull it up.

[92] Everyone paused the broadcast.

[93] I'm so Googling that.

[94] I mean, it's so on topic.

[95] Christmas, presents.

[96] Porn.

[97] Born.

[98] Wow.

[99] So I just want to bring everyone up to speed.

[100] Scotty is your husband.

[101] We were lucky enough to ruin the wedding.

[102] Yes.

[103] Do you remember this?

[104] What do you mean ruin it?

[105] Well, our daughter ruined it.

[106] Yeah, but that didn't ruin it.

[107] She ran up and down the aisles.

[108] I love it.

[109] During the ceremony?

[110] During the vows, I had to take her and move to your driveway, if you recall.

[111] No, it was love.

[112] And there was, what, a total of like 11 people there?

[113] Yeah, it was really, really intimate.

[114] Yeah, it was very exclusive.

[115] Yeah, and a lot of a ticket in town.

[116] It lasted like seven minutes.

[117] It was the perfect wedding.

[118] It was lovely.

[119] I loved it.

[120] How long ago was that?

[121] 2014.

[122] Oh, my God.

[123] Coming up on six years.

[124] Fast map.

[125] Wow.

[126] Wild?

[127] Yes, next year you guys are going to get real itchy.

[128] Hello.

[129] Oh, yeah.

[130] Seven year it's it.

[131] Oh, boy.

[132] Yeah, yeah.

[133] Scratchy, scratch.

[134] Well, with these clothes on, I kind of feel it already.

[135] already.

[136] We're wearing wool.

[137] That's not wool, is it?

[138] It looks like fleece to me. Yeah, I think it's fleas.

[139] It's a mix.

[140] It's a mix.

[141] It's a mix.

[142] It's a blend.

[143] Yes, and it is wool, and it looks right.

[144] My 60 minutes bit's going to get cut so we can just keep talking about mice.

[145] So as you know, we're going to, well, and when I say we're going to sing, you guys are going to do the brunt.

[146] You're going to sing.

[147] Everybody should sing.

[148] Well, no, we're going to do the watching and you guys are doing the singing.

[149] Okay, ready?

[150] Okay, but Kristen, would you please introduce our.

[151] in -house musician.

[152] Well, we have a very special guest because David Schiller runs the music supervision on a new show that I am working on called Do Ramee, which is a preschool children's music education program on Amazon that won't be out till December 2020, but we have a lot of fun.

[153] And David has written all the music.

[154] And every single song in this children's show is like a sick Justin Bieber Hook.

[155] It's a lot of song.

[156] It's a lot of songs.

[157] How many songs have you written?

[158] 54.

[159] Oh my God.

[160] Jackie Tone and I. Well, I was just going to say last year's Christmas guest, Jackie Tone, is also involved in the show.

[161] Yeah, yeah.

[162] Created by her and some other.

[163] Uh -huh.

[164] And Mike, Sharp, and we've had a really fun time.

[165] And we sit in the booth and sing to Dave.

[166] How long do we have you, Sean?

[167] Four more minutes.

[168] He looked at his watch.

[169] I can repeat every single thing you said.

[170] No, I'm getting something out that I spoke to you about.

[171] Oh, okay.

[172] Yes.

[173] But Dave, we're very happy to have you and very grateful.

[174] That's a miserable bunch of people, really.

[175] That you're here.

[176] I love it.

[177] Should I go down in the basement and join in on the drums but from downstairs?

[178] No. Yeah, I'm going to pass.

[179] Okay, everyone's passing.

[180] Now, let me ask you this.

[181] This street is very, very, very, very, very, very busy.

[182] This is the third time you've mentioned it.

[183] You hate the street.

[184] You don't like it.

[185] No, I love this street.

[186] I just figured with the billions of square footage available in the city of Los Angeles, you picked this spot that's near a lot of traffic.

[187] Doesn't bother that.

[188] We got a good deal on this house because there's a bus stop in front of it and no these people were buying a bus stop and we were going, what the hell's wrong with the bus stop?

[189] If we need to take the bus, we can grab it right there.

[190] It's perfect.

[191] You try to start your car, the battery's dead, you go fuck it.

[192] I'm sold.

[193] I'm sold.

[194] No, it's a good thing and it wasn't, yeah, it wasn't selling because of that and a variety of other reasons.

[195] You love a deal.

[196] You have high standards.

[197] No, I don't.

[198] Well, you do because you do your house is the nicest house in Los Angeles.

[199] I've been to it.

[200] I can say so.

[201] No, I live in a busy street.

[202] I was just going to say you're acting like you live in a country road.

[203] First of all, calm down because it wasn't busy when we bought it.

[204] Let's move on.

[205] But we're getting a proof for speed bumps.

[206] That is true.

[207] That's good.

[208] I would just like to point out Kristen Bell is applying lip shiner for a podcast.

[209] For her singing, it's imperative.

[210] It's also because my lips were dry.

[211] It reduces turbulence as the wind leaves her mouth.

[212] And because it's gorgeous.

[213] It feels nice on my lips.

[214] That's right.

[215] It looks nice.

[216] I like it.

[217] It does look really pretty, actually.

[218] Do you mind if I borrow some?

[219] Yeah, you can have that.

[220] I would just also like to say, and I think that Christmas episode is really appropriate because it's like giving thanks and thinking about it.

[221] You three, and I'm talking to Wabiwob, Monica, and Dax, have all worked incredibly hard on this podcast to make it something that is worth listening to to propose new ideas, new ways of, thinking, keep an open mind, have on experts, have on interesting people, and I see the work that you guys do, and it's been so much.

[222] And because of the community that has wanted to listen to you and your ability to monetize this work, we were able to buy a new house, which we're very grateful for.

[223] And then Monica bought her first house, and Rob bought his first house.

[224] And I just, I mean, it's really all because it's great.

[225] That's what I'm saying.

[226] It's because of the arm cherries that you guys have this wonderful job and that beautiful Monica and gorgeous Rob bought houses for their families.

[227] That's like something to be so grateful for Arm Cherries.

[228] We're so thankful.

[229] You can send your resume.

[230] The Armcherrys are the best.

[231] Would you have a podcast?

[232] Yes, who isn't having one?

[233] But yes, I'm starting one the next year.

[234] Oh, you are?

[235] It's the theme.

[236] It's to come.

[237] Okay, great.

[238] Yeah, TBD.

[239] It's in the works.

[240] I'm part of a company called Sonic Cloud.

[241] Okay.

[242] Which I don't know if you know, but the Armchair expert is on the Sonic Cloud feed.

[243] And Sonic Cloud is a revolutionary technology for a personalizing sound on your phone or laptop or music, streaming videos, podcasts, phone calls, all that to make the audio crystal fucking clear like you've never heard.

[244] And even if you have severe to profound hearing loss without the need of hearing aids or captions.

[245] That's cool.

[246] And the armchair expert is on the list.

[247] Wait, you know who can listen to it because of that.

[248] Our friend Nicole, who's also my stylist, and a very good friend of ours.

[249] Her dad just got cochlear implants and it was a big deal.

[250] She told me all about this surgery.

[251] He hasn't been able to hear in years and got one and you have to re -learn how to hear things.

[252] But he's still deaf in the other ear and that's like a perfect way for him to listen to this.

[253] That's awesome.

[254] You've got to check it out.

[255] Has anyone heard the podcast Invisibilia the episode, How to Become Batman?

[256] No. This is about a boy who was blind.

[257] He had cancer when he was four or something like ocular cancer and he learned how to click his way through the world he makes like clicking noises with his mouth and he can tell like sonar like a bat like he exactly like he can tell how far things are echolocation that's exactly what's called and he started doing it when he was five years old and he rides a bike oh my god he climbs tree like he goes through the world like anybody else i saw this yeah we just saw this i saw really that's a new technology too.

[258] Well, it's...

[259] Clicking with your mouth?

[260] No, no, there's a new technology for blind people that is like a sonar kind of thing.

[261] Yeah, probably started because of some of these people because he's been teaching little kids.

[262] He's like on this crusade to teach blind kids how to go through life.

[263] But the whole episode is about expectation and how the rest of us have expectations of blind people that they can't see, obviously.

[264] So everyone does everything for them.

[265] It's just about how expectations can really limit you in a big way.

[266] It's so interesting.

[267] And that just reminded me. Well, do you guys ever think this is a very provocative thought?

[268] It's a dangerous conversation.

[269] But do you ever think I'll read these stories about people who later in life discover they were autistic?

[270] But they didn't know it to like 45 or 50 because their kids now are autistic and they'll see the test and they'll take it themselves and it occurs to them, oh my God, I'm autistic.

[271] But they were never labeled that and they just somehow found a path.

[272] Now, I don't want to say we shouldn't label people, but it always makes me think like, what is the cost of labeling anybody anything does it limit your expectations you're out it's a very interesting line of thought it was part of the big short that movie and there was a book i read and the only guy who bet against the subprime mortgage back securities and he made billions of dollars he had a glass eye his entire life he doesn't like talking to people because he has a glass eye and he's self -conscious of it okay your mom also has a class eye ocular cancer yeah yeah this is a theme tonight ocular cancer um so he is a savant he is a brain surgeon but then he starts trading stocks for fun and then he starts publishing this blog and then his year to year earnings is off the charts and he gets approached why don't you manage a fund he manages his fund and he says i'll do it but i do not want to communicate with the clients i'll only email them because i have this glass eye and i hate talking to people right right because he's self -conscious people stare at him yeah so his son is having problems at school they send him to a specialist, specialist says your kid's autistic.

[273] He says, no, he's not.

[274] I know what autism is.

[275] I was a brain surgeon.

[276] He goes, look, here's the criteria.

[277] Here's the questions.

[278] You tell me if you think he's yes or no to these.

[279] He reads it and goes, oh my God, I'm 100 % yes on every one of these.

[280] It never was the fucking glass eye.

[281] I was autistic.

[282] That's why I don't like talking to people.

[283] It has nothing to do with the glass eye.

[284] And you just wonder if that guy had been labeled autistic and taken out of whatever mainstream.

[285] Would you have been encouraged to be a surgeon?

[286] Would he have done all the stuff he did?

[287] Or would he have, would his parents have had limited expectations?

[288] I don't talk to people because he have IBS.

[289] Because you have IBS.

[290] Well, that's generous of you.

[291] You know what I'm saying?

[292] Or is it the IBS?

[293] That's what I'm wondering.

[294] Okay, so let's sing a song.

[295] Yeah, let's get some music.

[296] And then I have some fun Christmassy questions for you guys.

[297] Love it.

[298] Santa's coming for us.

[299] I don't know this.

[300] So once you sing the chorus, maybe we'll come in.

[301] This is a C. song.

[302] We did a music video of this and I have not been able to get it out of my head for, when did we do that?

[303] Last year or two years ago?

[304] Two years ago.

[305] But when we did this music video, we played mom and dad and there were three kids and they were all like 15.

[306] It was so fun watching them.

[307] It was super fun watching them and we at one point said how old do you think we are?

[308] Just out of curiosity.

[309] How old do you think we are?

[310] To the kids and they looked at us and they were like, I don't know, 50?

[311] And they were sincere.

[312] And we were 37 at the time.

[313] It was a paradigm shatterer for myself image.

[314] That's fantastic.

[315] And we'll just wing this because I've also never sang this out loud before.

[316] Sure.

[317] Nights are getting shorter now hot chocolate fills the air and Christmas cheer dust too.

[318] Pick a merry old Christmas tree so lovely the joy this Christmas brings to you.

[319] Two, two, three, four.

[320] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[321] Maybe this one can't be sung.

[322] This is a hard one.

[323] This just shows Sia's talent.

[324] Honestly, but maybe it can't be done, because you need all the layers of oh, oh, oh, oh, and I didn't even kiss.

[325] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[326] Oh, singing to the deer in the sky Singing as a jingle, jingle, jingle tonight Singing in the moon set it free You're the angel on the top of my tree Singing to the spirit above Sing your heart out with all of your love Santa's coming for us Santa's coming for us Santa's coming for us Santa's coming for us Santa's coming for us Santa's coming for us Santa's coming for us Oh, Santa's coming for us Great job, guys That's a tough one, that was a tough one Wow, that's a good thing But you know, I tried to choose some that That weren't as standardy as we've done before Should we do another very short one?

[327] Dave, do you do this one?

[328] What's that one?

[329] Here's the thing.

[330] I kind of want Dave to do this one because he proposed singing this song and then he sent me a little demo of it and I immediately was like oh no one should sing this song but Dave because he sounds so great on it so I kind of want him to do this okay oh great Sean hates me a merry little room your troubles will be out of style have yourself a merry little died game your troubles will be miles away So have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

[331] No, but I love that.

[332] I love your take on it.

[333] It's so soothing.

[334] Love it.

[335] This is what went through my head when Kristen Bell is just singing that song, if it stays in.

[336] Yes, it will.

[337] It's astonishing to me that this girl is drop dead gorgeous.

[338] Go on.

[339] Crazy talented actress, incredible human being.

[340] and then she opens her mouth to sing and this unbelievably gorgeous sound unicorns fucking fairies comes out yeah it's unbelievable that you know she's AI right do you know she's AI right do you know she's AI that I know I didn't know I was gonna go next to but I didn't know it could reveal that that's amazing giving me a little bit too much credit well I am no no no no no no no you can do all the things that any performer could ever do it's maddening yeah it is crazy but here's a here's a great great topic because it's about our own self -image right so So you can clearly look at her and you can see that.

[341] And what you just said is objectively true.

[342] And you have no idea that you are a world -class comedian.

[343] One of the funniest human beings to ever be on TV.

[344] Fuck yourself.

[345] You're going to listen to this.

[346] And then you go on Broadway.

[347] No, no. Yeah, but not with her.

[348] It's objective with her.

[349] Rob, turn off Sean's Mike Wallace.

[350] So you're one of the funniest guys to ever be on TV.

[351] You have fucking Emmys and shit.

[352] You're on Oprah.

[353] There's no denying this.

[354] And then you go on Broadway.

[355] I hate going to Broadway shows.

[356] You know this about.

[357] I go see you sing in this fucking, what was it?

[358] Promises, promises.

[359] Promises, promises.

[360] I may have said this last time, but one of the funniest things you've ever said to me is when my mom came to see the show and she had Alzheimer's.

[361] And Dax comes backstage and he goes, thank God it's called Promises, Promise.

[362] Oh, God.

[363] I look at that as a sign of our closeness.

[364] Do you remember saying that?

[365] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[366] In thinking as I was saying it, are we this close?

[367] And then when you started laughing, I'm like, oh, good, we're this close.

[368] But yes, you can sing like a motherfucker.

[369] You're unbelievably talented on the piano.

[370] It's crazy.

[371] I've seen you do all this.

[372] And yet, I'm...

[373] He's very attractive.

[374] He's got a big hog in his hands.

[375] You're magnetic.

[376] Tell me about it.

[377] Big, thick, girthy hog.

[378] And big, vainy girthy, hairy hog.

[379] You guys...

[380] Merry Christmas, everyone.

[381] Are you guys intimidated by my tan?

[382] I like it.

[383] Are you wearing khakis underneath those pajamas?

[384] Long johns.

[385] No, I mean...

[386] I hate to say that all roads lead back to Frozen, too, but they do.

[387] And there's a line where it's where Anna says, oh, Elsa, when are you going to see yourself the way I see you?

[388] And that's really the lesson here because you gave me all those wonderful compliments, but I, I mean, they're literally the same compliments for you.

[389] The same compliments we would give to you.

[390] Okay.

[391] Do you?

[392] I do.

[393] I do.

[394] I do.

[395] I do.

[396] I do.

[397] Okay.

[398] Sean and Scotty.

[399] Yes.

[400] Yes.

[401] first of all I know that you Sean grew up pretty modestly that's an understanding that's an understatement yeah as we learned on this on your wonderful episode of this podcast dad wasn't ultra present and there was some brothers and a sister three brothers and his sister yeah that's right you were broke you were poor yeah okay no heat in the winter or that we covered that yeah yeah but and then Scotty your dad was in the military yeah he eventually retired as a colonel in the US Army right I'm an army Brat moved 17 times and went to three high schools, you know, it was an interesting life, but, you know, I wouldn't change a thing.

[402] It actually was great, lived all over the world.

[403] Scotty's dad worked for Colin Powell and Scotty went on a date with Colin Powell's daughter.

[404] No!

[405] Wow!

[406] No way!

[407] That's so exciting.

[408] Yes, I did.

[409] I went on a date and it was high school or college.

[410] I think it was high school, yeah, senior in high school and, you know, and My competition's pretty stiff.

[411] I imagine the approval, you know, the process.

[412] But I was living the life of a single, only child, army kid, you know.

[413] So it was a lot of...

[414] Were you guys in the D .C. area?

[415] Yeah, yeah.

[416] At the time, my dad was working for Colin Powell and outside of D .C. Or he was there at the Pentagon, but we were living outside of D .C. And so your dad and Colin got together and said, you know what, let's put these two lovebirds together.

[417] Is that how it happened?

[418] Exactly.

[419] Oh, so they were playing matchmaker.

[420] I think they were, yeah.

[421] And where'd you take her?

[422] Shake Shack?

[423] I don't know.

[424] And it was fine.

[425] It was lovely and it was very presentational, you know, that whole thing.

[426] Did it kiss at the end?

[427] I think there might have been a pecker too, yeah.

[428] Wow.

[429] He said pecker.

[430] Well, you know, as Jess has shared on here, you know, Jess, he hooked up with girls in high school and he could, like, fake a lot of it.

[431] And then once it got down to that triangle, he was fucking, ow.

[432] So your dad was comfortable.

[433] Well, you had a comfortable upbringing.

[434] Yeah, very, very middle class, you know, upbringing.

[435] And it was wonderful and the white picket fence and all of that.

[436] Yeah.

[437] Okay.

[438] Now, do you have a favorite present you remember from childhood?

[439] Yes.

[440] Oh, Bing.

[441] He got it right away.

[442] Oh, my God, can I guess?

[443] Yeah.

[444] Well, you probably can.

[445] It's Star Wars theme.

[446] It's always, he always guesses and I get mad that he's going to guess.

[447] And then he's always right.

[448] You hate it.

[449] I hate it.

[450] Yeah, yeah.

[451] Okay, what was it?

[452] Well, okay.

[453] So, for those.

[454] who are real fans and grew up and could see the movie back in the day, there were no toys available for Christmas after Star Wars came out.

[455] They didn't anticipate how big of a movie it was going to be.

[456] And so you got these sort of makeshift box, you know, here it comes soon and type of things.

[457] But anyway, it was the following Christmas right after Empire came out that it was just an onslaught of Star Wars toys.

[458] And all I wanted was the big Millennium Falcon.

[459] Sure.

[460] And so we got through Christmas, got a couple of things, got some figures, action figures, got a remote control this and that, whatever.

[461] A little foreplay.

[462] A little foreplay.

[463] And then that was it.

[464] And there was debris and trash everywhere.

[465] And the sadness on my face was so huge.

[466] And my parents, you know, cheeky as they were, they said, hey, why don't you go grab some of the trash bags out of the closet over there?

[467] And I went in there and I literally fighting the tears.

[468] And then I opened the thing and there it was and I screamed out.

[469] And I got it.

[470] Oh, this is such a best.

[471] That was two years ago.

[472] Sean, favorite Christmas present.

[473] When I was really, really, really little, I went upstairs in my mom's closet to find, you know, to look at the gifts before she wrapped them.

[474] And I saw a Smurf doll.

[475] It was pretty cool.

[476] Oh, and it was for you.

[477] It was a stuffed animal smurf, yeah.

[478] I too grew up pretty broke.

[479] But my mom pulled out all the stops for Christmas.

[480] That was the one day we lived like kings.

[481] And like, I don't understand the concept of digging yourself so far into debt for the love of your children who are supposed to love you anyway without gifts.

[482] I'm so grateful for it.

[483] I think it's why I have such an affinity for Christmas.

[484] Yeah, I did too.

[485] It was the one day of the year we were like, we're loaded!

[486] Yeah.

[487] And my mom was just, I mean...

[488] Kill her herself.

[489] Mom, you know, we can't, we don't have a phone.

[490] The phone was turned off and our car was repossessed.

[491] Yeah.

[492] We still got, you know, matchbox cars and...

[493] I love it.

[494] Crazy.

[495] Oh, what parents will do for their kiddies.

[496] Won't do, yeah.

[497] And also, well, well, But I want to hear Sean and Scotty sing since you were just praising there.

[498] Let's do it.

[499] Does anyone want to, does anyone need lyrics?

[500] Oh yeah, I don't know the lyrics.

[501] Well, let's pull that up.

[502] That's going to be an issue probably when performing the song.

[503] Just reread the description of SoundCloud.

[504] It's the best.

[505] See if you can read that description in the melody of it's a one of the melody.

[506] You should really try it.

[507] If there's anyone in the world that could do it, it would be you.

[508] With the Sonic Cloud app, you can hear really well, even if you are deaf.

[509] Chris, it's the most technologically advanced.

[510] I can say, I close my eyes, I'm in Vegas.

[511] That's my Elvis.

[512] Nice.

[513] Here we go.

[514] One, two, one, two, three, four.

[515] Frosty, the snowman was a jolly happy soul with a cornedob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of cold.

[516] Frosty, the snowman is a fairy tale, they say.

[517] He was made of snow, but the children know how he came to life one day.

[518] There must have been some.

[519] magic in that old silk hat they found.

[520] For when they placed it on his head, he began to dance around.

[521] Oh, whoa!

[522] Fawler, see, the snowman was alive as he could be.

[523] And the children say he could laugh and play just the same as you and me. He led them down the streets of town right to the traffic cop.

[524] And he paused a moment when he heard them holler.

[525] Stop, stop, stop.

[526] Frosty's no man Had to hurry on his way, wait, way, way.

[527] Buddy waits goodbye saying, Don't you cry, I'll be back again someday.

[528] Yay.

[529] Do you know Rudolph?

[530] It's pretty much the same.

[531] It is?

[532] Yeah, we can go straight in.

[533] I'm going to do Rudolph as Michael McDonald.

[534] Okay, great.

[535] Oh, wow.

[536] I think you did this last year.

[537] No, did I?

[538] You did it at a live show.

[539] Oh.

[540] But you can do it again.

[541] I don't have many tricks.

[542] I mean, eventually we're going to run out.

[543] How did that key feel, Mike?

[544] What, uh, okay.

[545] It doesn't matter.

[546] I don't know what a key is.

[547] So there's a duet.

[548] Michael McDonald, whoever you are.

[549] You know Dasher and dancer and prancer and vixen.

[550] Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen.

[551] But do you recall the most famous reindeer?

[552] Rudolph the red nose reindeer had a very shiny nose Like a light bulb And if you ever saw it You would even say it glowed Like a light bulb All of the other reindeer Used to laugh and call him names Like Pinocchio They never let poor Rudolph Rudolph joining any reindeer games Like monopolies Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say Rudolph with your nose so bright Won't you guide my sleigh tonight Then how the reindeer loved him As they shouted out with glee Like the toothpaste Rudolph the red nose reindeer You'll go down in his story Like George Washington Amazing Wow We got one That's incredible Great job honey What was the toothpaste part Glee Glee?

[553] Gleam was the toothpaste Remember backwards They go Meagle Meagle That was a commercial Yeah They bred it backwards Oh wow Like what if a commercial For Taco Bell was Lebo Cant Or Taco Cat Which would be Taco Cat What?

[554] Oh really good Is that a Did you just Come up with that?

[555] Whoa.

[556] That's kind of known, isn't it?

[557] Hey, but this is a really different one.

[558] What's race car backwards?

[559] Race car.

[560] Oh, my God.

[561] You know all of that.

[562] I love it.

[563] What's 2020?

[564] I'm kidding.

[565] Pallandrome.

[566] Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

[567] Wonderly Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and add free right now.

[568] Join Wonderly Plus in the Wondry app or.

[569] on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[570] Okay, Mama, can you think of a very awkward family Christmas situation that happened?

[571] Yeah, I've always been into re -gifting because my mom's family and my dad's family and always split it.

[572] And it was very different because at my mom's, it was very quiet and it was just us.

[573] And at my dad's, I had two older sisters who were, as older sisters should be, pretty brutal to me and we would stay up all night Christmas Eve and they would make me I was the lightest one because I was the smallest they'd make me go down the stairs so that didn't creak and half open all the presents and report back to them at like four in the morning when I was like six years old what everybody got and I'd have to sort of rewrap them and squeeze back up the stairs but the point is I had two different Christmases and sometimes I would re -gift Christmases one to the other sure you know it was like 12 and couldn't shop and I remember that I had gotten a picture frame with like numerous pictures inside it, you know, like when a circle one and a rectangle one and it was like a little before photo walls existed.

[574] Before gallery walls.

[575] Yeah, before gallery walls.

[576] It was like an encased gallery wall.

[577] And my grandma, my step grandma had gotten it for me. And I was like, oh my gosh, thank you so much.

[578] And then that night I wrapped it back up and I took it to my mom's house and gave it to her.

[579] And when my stepmom dropped me off, I was humiliated because she took it out of the car, like helping me with my bags, go back to my mom's house.

[580] And I could see that she knew exactly what it was.

[581] And she sort of asked one like mild question of like, oh, what did you get her?

[582] And I was like, nothing.

[583] And then just like ran in the house.

[584] Did your mom love it?

[585] I think so, yeah.

[586] She probably still has it.

[587] In fact, it's probably now at our house.

[588] Yeah.

[589] Because Kristen's mom visits often, which is wonderful.

[590] She's a great grandma, and we love it.

[591] He's visiting right now.

[592] She's there right now, yeah.

[593] And she brings, every time she brings two large suitcases, one of them is her clothing, and another one is Kristen's belongings.

[594] What if you were like, one of them's Kristen?

[595] Then Kristen gets out.

[596] But she's slowly been bringing all the stuff.

[597] She's saved over Kristen's life, and it's now in our house.

[598] That's so nice.

[599] But the great thing is, now that I see it all, I do keep the things that were important.

[600] Like, she just brought this, like, baby crib that's probably about a family.

[601] foot and a half long and eight inches wide that my grandfather made for me. In 1983, July 18th on Kristen's third birthday.

[602] And now my girls are using it and they're putting the dogs in it and stuff.

[603] And it's really cute.

[604] And so that's, it's kind of nice.

[605] But now that we have kids, I can see doing it because you just, we already miss so bad them being even littler.

[606] And that's gone.

[607] And it's just going to continue to disappear.

[608] And all we will have is these little objects to sit by ourselves and hold.

[609] I find that in terms of.

[610] keeping stuff for them, I try to pick and choose.

[611] I save a lot of their artwork, and then the things they want to save is all trash.

[612] Like, they want to save the, like, styrofoam colored cup that they marked at school.

[613] And they're like, that's my keepsake.

[614] They learn the word keepsake.

[615] So now if you touch any of their stuff, they've weaponized the word keepsake.

[616] That's my keepsake!

[617] Like, when they're fighting with each other.

[618] Yeah, whatever meal they're eating.

[619] She touched my French fries.

[620] Those are my keepsake.

[621] It's awful.

[622] Now, Monica, in Atlanta, the Padman.

[623] First of all, I can't imagine your parents, well, your mother growing up probably celebrated Christmas, yeah?

[624] Yeah.

[625] But your dad didn't in India?

[626] I don't think so, actually.

[627] I don't know.

[628] We've never talked about it.

[629] Well, he could have.

[630] Well, legally maybe.

[631] Yeah.

[632] It wasn't banned there.

[633] There's a lot of Christians there.

[634] There's not a war on Christmas in India, like here?

[635] Do you guys do Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

[636] Morning.

[637] You do morning.

[638] Yeah.

[639] And where would you go to Grandma and Grandpa's on Christmas Eve?

[640] No, always at our house.

[641] And then everyone would, we'd do Christmas morning, and then everyone would come.

[642] two hours later, and then we'd do Christmas dinner, yeah, or lunch, brunch.

[643] And would you remember a favorite present?

[644] I always get really good presents.

[645] Yeah, you're really spoiled.

[646] My family's rich.

[647] Do you know her grandma gave her $60 ,000 when she graduated high school and just said, graduated high school?

[648] Yeah.

[649] Here's 60 grand.

[650] Is your family really wealthy?

[651] No, no, they're not.

[652] By our standards.

[653] They were comfortable.

[654] They weren't, like, wealthy.

[655] They were upper middle class.

[656] My grandparents saved a lot of money.

[657] They came from India and they were very, like, scared.

[658] They lived in, like, a scarcity mentality.

[659] My grandfather was a professor, and so he would get pension.

[660] So they saved a ton of money.

[661] And then when I graduated high school, wasn't 60 ,000.

[662] We think it's probably 60.

[663] I think it was 30.

[664] My mom thinks it was 50.

[665] The fact that it's questionable is a problem.

[666] But they gave me and my brother.

[667] It wasn't like, congrats for high school.

[668] Oh, graduated high school.

[669] you got that.

[670] It was just like now's a time where we're going to be giving you money like people put money in trust or whatever for it.

[671] It was just like okay, now's the time.

[672] But it wasn't to spend on college, it was just for you to save or whatever yeah.

[673] And you ran through it in her first years in Hollywood.

[674] It was a great...

[675] Not all of it, but it helped me big time.

[676] Yeah, yeah.

[677] But present, do you remember a really significant present?

[678] It's weird because I like things so much.

[679] You'd think I would have a very specific memory.

[680] And I I don't.

[681] I mean, I kind of vaguely have this memory.

[682] Oh, okay, so.

[683] Spoiler alert, if you have kids in your car.

[684] When I still believed in Santa, of these, like, flat, you know, like, Flat Stanlies?

[685] Yeah, yeah.

[686] Actually, I don't even know what a Flat Stanley is.

[687] The Flat Stanley is something that you make at school, like, in kindergarten, and then they give it to the parents or the kids when you travel to take pictures with monuments.

[688] Oh, it's, like, made out of paper or whatever.

[689] It's based on a children's story.

[690] Got it.

[691] Las Stanley.

[692] Oh my God.

[693] I don't know any of this.

[694] Really?

[695] Didn't you read that?

[696] Of course.

[697] I've taken a hundred pictures with different Flat Stanley.

[698] Really?

[699] Oh, wow.

[700] Well, this was just like little cardboard flat characters and then there was like a little house and you played with it.

[701] But I remember Santa bringing that and it was a very big box and I was really excited about that.

[702] But that's really only one that's fantastic.

[703] I remember getting the Michael Jackson Thriller album.

[704] Oh, that's exciting.

[705] Pretty exciting.

[706] I don't know if you watched the documentary.

[707] I've never been more amazed with two people's fucking bravery.

[708] Unbelievable.

[709] Incredible.

[710] That story.

[711] I, like, wanted to somehow reach out and just go like, oh, my God, I'm enamored by your bravery.

[712] Yeah, incredible to go on and explicitly.

[713] No, that's the place.

[714] Like, I'll admit on here all the time that I'm molested.

[715] I will not give someone a play -by -play of what happened.

[716] I don't think I'll ever, I don't think I've told Kristen to play -by -play.

[717] But I think it's a way they did it to heal themselves.

[718] You have to.

[719] You have to.

[720] Yeah, it's crazy.

[721] And then also, that's somehow how it got completely beyond a shadow.

[722] To me, that these two would have the exact same story.

[723] Like all of his weird things, the methodology are like, oh, it's the exact same.

[724] It can't dispute it.

[725] Right.

[726] It's crazy.

[727] What were you going to say?

[728] Merry Christmas.

[729] I was going to say there was one year where, because my mom was a single mom for many years and she worked really hard on Christmas and I think it was the year that I had gotten a bike for the first time and I was probably five or six and she wrapped everything up and stayed up all night doing it as a single mom and in the morning when I opened all my presents I noticed there wasn't anything for her and I said you must have been real naughty this year Santa didn't bring her a damn thing and she said after that time she made sure that she put gifts from Santa to herself as well.

[730] She's a nice mom.

[731] Now that we have kids, you just think about your single mother doing all the other.

[732] Yeah, it's hard to fathom.

[733] I think single moms are superheroes.

[734] They really are.

[735] I mean, moms and I'm a working mom, and I think working moms work really, really hard.

[736] It's like I'm stressed all the time.

[737] I can't even imagine people who don't have any help.

[738] And then I think about, oh, what if you not only don't have help?

[739] And by that I mean like babysitters and nanny, daycare, anything to not also have a partner to do it with, to be doing everything by yourself, which means you are not only the breadwinner, but you are the doer of 100 % of the things.

[740] That's my mom.

[741] That is, those are superheroes.

[742] Yeah, five kids, as you well know.

[743] Like, and the house was relatively clean, right?

[744] And there was food.

[745] No, time.

[746] Okay.

[747] But yeah, that's going back to the Christmas thing where she would just like fill the house with presents.

[748] I'm like, how is this possible?

[749] You're, A, never home because you're working all the time.

[750] When you're not working, you're cooking.

[751] When you're not cooking, you're cleaning.

[752] When you're not cleaning.

[753] You're barely sleeping.

[754] You know, I don't No, she was like her own fucking Santa Claus.

[755] Like, it was a miracle.

[756] Now, when you bought her this house, you bought her a really beautiful house.

[757] Did you coordinate that with a either birthday or a Christmas or anything?

[758] Or you just like, middle of May where, like, here's this house.

[759] Totally.

[760] I mean, we discussed it, you know, and I bought the house we grew up in, and the one of the left of it and the one of the right of it.

[761] And I tore all three down.

[762] Oh, that's amazing.

[763] Oh, Sean.

[764] It's the biggest mistake in my life.

[765] No, it's so sweet.

[766] You regret it?

[767] You regret it every day?

[768] Absolutely.

[769] Absolutely.

[770] Absolutely.

[771] And please share, once again, the reaction your mom had.

[772] I moved her into a condo or an apartment little apartment while it was being built, right, for like a year and a half or whatever it was.

[773] And this describes my mother, too.

[774] I had a whole move -that -bus moment, you know, like a big reveal, all brand -new furniture, like top to bottom, turnkey pots pans, everything.

[775] Like a TV show.

[776] Yeah, didn't you do anything.

[777] You had a brand -new house with brand -new furniture, brand -new pot, everything.

[778] It was amazing.

[779] And she walks in and, you know, she had one eye, right?

[780] you know that because she had her or autism yeah or autism yeah jury's still out a little too late because she passed away but so she walks into the house and she sees it she overwhelms she's crying her eye out right and she goes in crying her eye out and she walks in and she puts her hand on the couch I'm not making this up she puts her on the couch well first she goes oh my god nobody's done anything like this for me in my entire life and she puts her hand on the couch she goes I don't know that I would have picked out that couch oh that's perfect genius what nice comedic timing she has I wonder if you got your sense of humor from her oh yeah she was 100 % hilarious yeah she was hilarious yeah I had the pleasure of knowing her for a wee bit of time yeah she took a turn but yeah she was a great woman super funny and then your job of course was making her laugh because her life fucking sucked raising you five kids and you're trying to lighten the mood all the time yeah i remember this scottie just made me realize this the other day you know my dad left when i was like five years old or six years old or something like that and so my mom would sit in the dark in the living room every single night pitch dark because it was very dramatic to do that and cry cry cry cry cry cry and so at five six years old i would walk into the room every single night and say mom are you okay what do you need do you need anything And Scotty just made me aware of this like two months ago where I'm constantly asking people, especially Scotty.

[781] What's wrong?

[782] Is something wrong?

[783] Are you okay?

[784] Is there anything okay?

[785] Isn't that wild?

[786] Yes.

[787] Armchair expert.

[788] Well, it is.

[789] Exclusive.

[790] Exclusive.

[791] Yeah, you get primed.

[792] Now I'll go even deeper.

[793] Do you think you subconsciously sought out a partner that you thought needed your assistance or your help?

[794] Yes and no. I mean, I I think I sought out other relationships in my life, whether it's friend, family, co -worker, whatever, that fulfill that, whether it's healthy or not.

[795] Right.

[796] You're more likely or not.

[797] It's not healthy.

[798] It's what I've discovered.

[799] Yeah.

[800] And Scotty, what do you do to Sean that you've realized is like reliving your childhood?

[801] Oh, my gosh.

[802] Dressing them up in Star Wars.

[803] I don't remember.

[804] By the way, is Scotty so amazing musically because he writes music.

[805] two just like you did.

[806] And it composes and produces music.

[807] And I'm not making this up.

[808] You put in any movie while we're watching it and I'll go he'll hum the music in the background of the scene where most people are watching the scene.

[809] People hum note for note at the entire movie.

[810] It's a little rain mannish.

[811] I'm not going to lie.

[812] It's cool.

[813] It's kind of free.

[814] It freaks myself out sometimes and I'll be sitting there watching it.

[815] You know what?

[816] I mean like, what?

[817] But that's fun.

[818] That's serendipitous because, Sean, you originally wanted to compose scores from movies.

[819] Yeah, I did.

[820] And Scotty, were you pursuing, like, right out of high school, were you pursuing music?

[821] You know, I kind of was, I'll back up, and this is no surprise.

[822] The first record album that I ever got, because I asked for it, was seven years old after I saw Star Wars, the double album by John Williams of Star Wars.

[823] That was my friend.

[824] And I listened to it just over and over.

[825] And what happened was I fell in love with this composer, his music.

[826] And every time I'd see a movie that he did a score for, it was sort of that thing where the second time I watched it, suddenly I'm humming the scene or I'm listening to the score and I'm quoting dialogue from the movie that I've only seen once.

[827] I was, I mean, it's pretty sad.

[828] I mean, I've gone out on dates with girls, right?

[829] you know so we're going to the movies we're going to a dinner um but i'm not playing cool pop music on the radio i'm actually playing scores while we're going yeah or whatever and i i look back on that now going god i was so so like a dud of a date i'm sure for these girls because i'm like oh wait till this part it's and hear the strings here they come you know and i'm such a nerd like who here's the door there i go yeah yeah exactly well these ones are going to come in like a freight train You buckled up?

[830] Are you buckled the fuck up?

[831] They got nine brass instruments on this track.

[832] Listen to those French horns.

[833] Yeah, so I did study music in high school, junior high, and played trumpet, played baritone euphonium and did all those things.

[834] But I went into college with a real sort of mind for like, I want to make films.

[835] I want to do TV and I want to do music.

[836] So I had to pick one and stick with it.

[837] And I thought, well, maybe the one their safest one out of the three was maybe to go into television.

[838] At least there's a lot of things to do in television, and that's what I did.

[839] But I always wanted to really dive hard into music theory and all that sort of stuff.

[840] So everything I've done, I've done just through basic studies and whatnot, but I'm such a fan of music that I think there's a part of my brain that is triggered working on music, that it just flows, it comes out, and for all intents of purposes, it works.

[841] Yeah, you get into a state.

[842] Yeah.

[843] What's interesting about that is if I was drawn to something and it was one of those composers, like so many people start bands because they see a shitty punk rock band and they go, oh, I think I could do that.

[844] And then they try it, and then they get better and better.

[845] But if the first thing you want to do is John Goldwyn, is that his name?

[846] John Williams.

[847] Oh my goodness.

[848] Jim Williams.

[849] J .J. Williams.

[850] If that's the first thing, if that's what you're setting out to do, the bar is pretty fucking high.

[851] I know it is high.

[852] Yeah.

[853] But but, you know, J .J. Goldsmith.

[854] Hey, J .J. Ah, Zimmer.

[855] We're going to go back to one.

[856] But, yeah, no, it's true.

[857] And I'm not going to lie.

[858] I pull a lot of inspiration from him.

[859] And I've had a few moments here and there to really kind of pull some inspiration because up until now, I haven't had large opportunities to do some big orchestral things.

[860] But once in a while, there's something big.

[861] You did the history of comedy on CNN, the theme for the history of comedy.

[862] Yeah, and that's kind of a big orchestral thing.

[863] And I immediately pulled from John Williams' theme for amazing stories.

[864] You know, it just was one of those themes that has always lingered in my head, even though the series was sort of short -lived.

[865] And so I had 30 seconds to work with, and my partner and I, we just kind of said, you know what, that's really a great little capsule of music that he did.

[866] So it definitely is our inspired beacon, you know, when we did that.

[867] We just did on Will & Grace, it'll air in 2020.

[868] We did an I Love Lucy episode.

[869] where we each play the characters in this flashback kind of thing.

[870] And we couldn't license the actual music.

[871] So we had to record it over.

[872] So we went to Capitol Records.

[873] And there was a full 20 -piece thing that's got it conducted and arranged.

[874] Yeah, it was a physical.

[875] Oh, that's awesome.

[876] Yeah, I mean, we had no sheet music to work with.

[877] So we had to actually transpose everything and just kind of listen to it.

[878] Okay, let's focus on the horns and write it out.

[879] With these crazy, crazy famous, like horn players.

[880] Horn players played for Stevie Wonder, Phil Collins, you know, Earth, Wind and Fire.

[881] I mean, you name it.

[882] They, they were Michael Jackson's thriller album.

[883] I mean, it's really, really crazy.

[884] You want to be starting something.

[885] Yeah, you've got to be.

[886] Also, Scotty composed something for baby director.

[887] Now I'm forgetting what it was.

[888] Scottie's done me so many favors.

[889] That's why your nickname in town is, do me a solid Scotty.

[890] Yeah.

[891] Okay.

[892] Let's get another song.

[893] Don't be afraid of the classic.

[894] Okay, this one I prepared for daddy.

[895] Because she said earlier she was afraid, and I said, just, it's okay.

[896] You give the people what they want.

[897] Yeah, I know, but I was thinking of you of ones that you would like.

[898] Oh, thank you.

[899] How about you have this, and I'm pointing to Kristen, you have this at your disposal to sing any time you want.

[900] Yeah.

[901] I'm not allowed to sing in the house.

[902] Are you serious?

[903] You are so encouraged to sing.

[904] That was one of my main complaints about you, the first six years we were together.

[905] I'm like, why don't you sing all the time?

[906] I'm cracking jokes for free.

[907] That's true.

[908] I'm not talking about you.

[909] You very much encourage me to sing.

[910] You know, one of the cutest things you ever did was early on in our relationship when I was like nervous to sing around you.

[911] And I was really just belting it out in the shower.

[912] And you were saying sing around me. But I was genuinely nervous.

[913] You said, you know what I want you to do for my birthday is learn like an old Irish blessing song.

[914] Yeah.

[915] And singing for me. And I never did it.

[916] And I mean, he did that.

[917] Well, guess whose birthday is coming up?

[918] Yeah, yours.

[919] I'm going to have to learn one really quick.

[920] Met my old lover at the grocery store.

[921] The snow was falling Christmas Eve.

[922] I stole behind her in the frozen foods, and I touched her on the sleep.

[923] She didn't recognize the face at first, but then her eyes flew open wide.

[924] she went to hug me and she spilled her purse and we laughed until we took her groceries to the checkout stand the food was totaled up and bagged we stood there lost in our embarrassment as the conversation drag we went to have ourselves a drink or two but couldn't find an open bar we bought a six -pack at the liquor's store and we drank it in her car We drank a toast to innocence We drank a toast to now Tried to reach beyond the emptiness But neither She said she'd married her an architect Who kept her warm and safe and dry She would have liked to say She loved the man, but she did I said the years had been a friend Her eyes were still as blue But in those eyes, I wasn't sure if I saw a doubt.

[925] She said she saw me in the record stores, and that I must be doing what.

[926] I said the audience was heavenly, but the traveling drank a toast to innocence, and we drank a toast to innocence, and we drank a toast to tongue.

[927] It was empty and our tongues were tired of things to say.

[928] She gave a kiss to me as I got out And felt that old And as I turned to make my way Everyone's eye is wet Yeah Just like your mom Everyone's crying their eye out I feel honored that I got to sit next to that Singing right next to me I had goosebumps galore That was unbelievable It's a pretty pretty song Yeah It's an underutilized Christmas song It only Or I also feel like it's also an underutilized all year round song because it's really the Yacht Rock Christmas theme song.

[929] A sub sub genre.

[930] Yeah.

[931] Right is that song, did I interpret that correctly that they were lovers and then something went wrong and they bumped into each other.

[932] Yeah, or it's time.

[933] It was just time they were dating in school and yeah, it's cute the song and it's and he wrote it.

[934] Dan Fogelberg and he wrote it and he, it's a true story.

[935] It actually happened to him and he, it's about an old lover and he, there's things online like he wrote people wrote him letters asking him if it was true and you know like i think a kid wrote him a letter saying what's the metaphor at the end does the snow turn into rain because after she's left everything feels a little warmer because he saw her again and his he wrote a letter back to the kid saying yes that actually was the metaphor and also a reality when she left it started to rain oh wow sad song yeah i'm sad now can i ask a hypothetical though?

[936] Yeah.

[937] So I go out to get groceries.

[938] You're like, Hun, pick up some butter.

[939] I'm making macaroni and cheese.

[940] And I go, great.

[941] I'll be back in 10 minutes.

[942] And then I come back in about four and a half hours.

[943] Oh, yeah.

[944] And Kristen goes, where were you, hon?

[945] I go, craziest fucking thing.

[946] I'm getting the groceries.

[947] They're putting them in the bags.

[948] I see Randy Hamina from eighth grade.

[949] So we go out and we grab a couple drinks.

[950] Then we got a six pack and we pounded six beers in the car.

[951] That's where I've been.

[952] Well, Monica will have to fact check this, but I don't know that he had a lover at the time.

[953] Only she did she did her later in life when he was single and that's why he was noticing her maybe okay and i don't know there's a lot i like songs with interpretation okay let's let's reverse it i'm the architect you've gone out from butter hun you were supposed to be 10 minutes uh you've been gone for six and a half hours what happened well look she would like to say she loved the man but she didn't like to lie she didn't know what i mean so she doesn't love her husband that's right and you go oh well hon i just bumped into someone i had uh nine drinks in the car with them and he went.

[954] Great, I don't care.

[955] Go to bed.

[956] That's what the architect says.

[957] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[958] What's up, guys?

[959] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[960] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[961] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[962] And I don't mean just friends.

[963] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list go.

[964] on.

[965] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[966] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[967] We've all been there.

[968] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[969] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[970] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[971] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[972] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[973] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[974] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[975] Prime members can listen early and ad free on Amazon music.

[976] I often think about how much I don't want to get divorced, but if I got divorced, I'm like, I could be so happy in this studio.

[977] I could just live in this box.

[978] It'd be so simple and manageable.

[979] Nothing to worry about.

[980] What can break?

[981] There's nothing in here.

[982] Everything's already broke.

[983] It's too late.

[984] Yeah, except your soul.

[985] Okay, Monica, favorite Christmas movie Go.

[986] Home alone.

[987] Home alone.

[988] Any reason in particular?

[989] Just love it.

[990] It's great.

[991] You just love it.

[992] Scotty.

[993] I mean, it's...

[994] Star Wars.

[995] David.

[996] I was going to say it's not Christmas.

[997] It's planes, trains, automobiles is Thanksgiving.

[998] Yeah.

[999] I love that.

[1000] I love that movie.

[1001] John Candy.

[1002] What a fucking sweetie pie.

[1003] Sean Hayes, favorite Christmas movie.

[1004] It's not Christmas at all, but we watch it every year at Christmas is Amadeus.

[1005] Oh, you love that movie.

[1006] That's your movie, right?

[1007] Yeah.

[1008] But, you know, F. Moray, I went backstage after It's Only a Play, which was that play that starred Nathan Lane and Megan Malalley and Matthew Broderwick.

[1009] and then Marty Short took over for Nathan's, and that's when I saw it, and F. Marie Abraham was in it, right?

[1010] So I went to backstage to say hi to Matthew, who's a friend, Matthew Broderick, and Marty Short is a good friend.

[1011] And I said, oh my God, can you introduce me to F?

[1012] I'm like, what do I call him?

[1013] Marie -Marie Abraham.

[1014] And so, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like freaking out because he won the Oscar for playing Salieri, and he was amazing.

[1015] And, like, he was such a huge part of my.

[1016] childhood right in that movie and so I went up to him and I was like you know Marty introduced us and I was like hi I just want to say you know I'm a day ass and he stopped me he goes don't tell me it made you want to be an actor oh my goodness and I go oh no I just wanted to say I like you in the movie but he was nice I guess is he with us still or do we he's still working a lot.

[1017] Okay, good.

[1018] Yeah, yeah.

[1019] He was the guy that read all the sides during the auditions.

[1020] Oh, really?

[1021] And then they just gave him the part.

[1022] Totally.

[1023] It's so Harrison Ford as Hans Solo.

[1024] He read all the sides while everybody else auditioned and he was so good that they asked, you know, what?

[1025] That happened to Harrison Ford.

[1026] Well, Harrison Ford was a carpenter on the lot, right?

[1027] Is that the story?

[1028] Yeah.

[1029] Yeah, you can watch a lot of the auditions for Star Wars and such.

[1030] That also happened to Tim Simons on Veep.

[1031] Mm -hmm.

[1032] It did?

[1033] Uh -huh.

[1034] Tim Simons was the assistant in the casting office and he was the reader, yeah.

[1035] These are the stories that all actors like are desperately hoping for never happened, but I guess it's happened three times in a big way.

[1036] Mama, what's your favorite Christmas movie?

[1037] Christmas vacation, come on.

[1038] Christmas vacation.

[1039] Christmas vacation all the way, baby.

[1040] We should watch that.

[1041] We're going to watch that tonight.

[1042] We're going to put that tree, Griswold.

[1043] Bend over.

[1044] I'll show you.

[1045] What did he just say?

[1046] I wasn't talking to me. You got a lot of nerve talking to me like I wasn't talking to you.

[1047] The best.

[1048] Okay, that's the great.

[1049] I'm going to go with Bad Santa, although it is Christmas vacation, but you already picked that, so I'm going to go Bad Santa.

[1050] It's really funny.

[1051] Dave, favorite Christmas movie?

[1052] Die hard.

[1053] Nice.

[1054] Really nice choice.

[1055] Who thinks is that?

[1056] It's probably a tie with Home Alone because, again, John Williams sort of makes that movie.

[1057] Yeah, die hard for sure.

[1058] Another counterintuitive one is Gremlins.

[1059] I love it, and they show it at Arklight around Christmas sometimes.

[1060] Do you think we can show the girls' Gremlins?

[1061] Absolutely not.

[1062] No, it is a very vicious movie.

[1063] Yeah, that's a double digit -jid.

[1064] But they could probably see fatal attraction.

[1065] They have.

[1066] But you showed on Raiders of the Lost Ark. We had the weirdest experience.

[1067] So one weekend, we're in a phase now where there's six and about to be five, and we're like, they're kind of old enough for 80s movies.

[1068] And hit or miss, you know, it's a roll of the dice.

[1069] So we show them Indiana Jones.

[1070] Wow.

[1071] Delta loves it.

[1072] Wait, the first.

[1073] Raiders are left.

[1074] Yeah.

[1075] We did, as I will say, we did fast forward through the face melting part.

[1076] The face melting part and the guy getting hit with the propeller by the airplane, the bald guy.

[1077] Yeah, but you don't see it.

[1078] Well, you see blood gets spattered everywhere.

[1079] I know, but you don't see the thing.

[1080] That's true.

[1081] So wait, I can't believe they watched it.

[1082] Well, Delta loved it.

[1083] Lincoln hated it and was terrified.

[1084] The following weekend, we showed them E .T. Delta was terrified of G .T. That's what she calls them G. G .T. And we're not allowed to say G. You just get in the house.

[1085] Just don't say GT.

[1086] She thinks he's hiding in the stuffed animals and stuff.

[1087] Don't talk about GT.

[1088] So she watched the whole movie, the whole movie?

[1089] No, she was in and out.

[1090] She was in and out, and she had the covers over her face a lot.

[1091] She just did not like his face.

[1092] She did not feel his vibe.

[1093] You know, that's one of the reasons we talk about having, you know, we've had this ad nauseum conversation about having kids.

[1094] One of the main reasons why we wanted to have them is to have an excuse to watch movies over again.

[1095] Oh, believe me, we're there and it's worse.

[1096] Some of them pulled up and some of them don't.

[1097] Like, we watched Honey I Shrunk the kids.

[1098] kids.

[1099] It was great.

[1100] Home alone, of course, is perfect.

[1101] All hold up.

[1102] Totally.

[1103] All the back to the futures.

[1104] All the back to the futures held up.

[1105] Uncle Buck did not hold up.

[1106] It wasn't really sad.

[1107] It was a, no, it was kind of a little bit of snoozy.

[1108] It was a snoozy movie.

[1109] There were moments that were great, but it didn't hold up like I thought, because when I thought of Uncle Buck, I was like, oh, we got to show him that.

[1110] That's so great.

[1111] But also then you showed them peewees.

[1112] Oh, that was a huge misfire.

[1113] I thought Peele -Merman would be.

[1114] an amazing movie for them.

[1115] No, why didn't they like it?

[1116] Because I fell in love with it around eight or something.

[1117] And then seeing it now with adult eyes, it's a little scary.

[1118] It's like a fun house.

[1119] And now as an adult, I understand what they're, they can't figure out what he is.

[1120] He's an adult, but he's a kid.

[1121] I also, I hadn't seen it.

[1122] Right.

[1123] And so I was very confused.

[1124] Okay.

[1125] Does he have?

[1126] He's just getting his bike back.

[1127] Yeah.

[1128] Well, now it appears that he might have a mental issue.

[1129] Like he's mentally challenged.

[1130] Yes.

[1131] Are you watching, you know, is the lead?

[1132] And then are you supposed to laugh?

[1133] Are you on its team?

[1134] No one knows.

[1135] Now, I'm a gigantic John Hughes fan.

[1136] Sure.

[1137] Like, huge.

[1138] Yes, all of it.

[1139] All of shot around where I lived, you know, near where we grew up.

[1140] So we were, I'm like, let's do a John Hughes marathon, whatever.

[1141] Of course, Ferris Bueller is like, it will hold up until the end of the earth.

[1142] But pretty and pink.

[1143] Oh, yeah.

[1144] That doesn't shock me, although I love that movie.

[1145] You're watching it, you're going, I'm like, well, okay, waiting for some story beat that I can hook into, not a lot happens.

[1146] But I still love it because I went out and the nostalgia.

[1147] Yeah, but just from a story point and all that, you know.

[1148] But you know what, what has occurred to me now is that so many of those movies were the introduction of a music genre.

[1149] So that had psychedelic furs and pretty and pink.

[1150] Wasn't she pretty and pink?

[1151] right so when you like separate like part of the fun was discovering that song plan and automobiles he used book of love yeah oh and in ferris bueller he used an instrumental of a morrissey or the smith's song yeah he was like wow that's so cool played by played by oh uh dream academy dream academy hey oh my mama they did they did a cover of it and it was this beautiful instrument and they had that oboe wabiwob favorite christmas movie it's christmas vacation but since it's taken a christmas story oh great it's a classic it's a standard yes the christmas story a christmas story i'm going to tell you this thing really quick since you're talking about movies yeah did a movie called the bucket list right sure so on the thanks sir and so on the waiting on the while a scene was getting lit it was me jack nicholson and morgan freeman and craig zaden who's a good friend and Rob Brenner were just kind of all sitting around waiting for them to light a scene waiting for them to put the green screen up yeah totally every other scene right first of all I called Jack Nicholson and Morgan captain Jack oh nice were they into that like did you do were you finding any purchase with your comedy the very first my very first day I shot in a bentley they took the windshield out and it was I was just me in the front seat my very first day me in the front seat and Jack and Morgan in the back Morgan just kind of running his lines and Jack's listening to his earpiece, you know, the guy talking to him.

[1152] And they were so both lovely, wonderful, kind, awesome men to me. But it's my first day, you know, when you have a joke in your head and you're like, should I do it, should I do it or should I do it or not?

[1153] Yeah.

[1154] Like, I could bond with them super fast if I say this, or it's going to go south.

[1155] Yeah, I'm going to get fired.

[1156] So I turn around and I go, hey, maybe one day when you're successful, you can sit in the front.

[1157] That's great.

[1158] They didn't laugh.

[1159] Nothing.

[1160] I got nothing.

[1161] Well, but probably neither of them even heard you.

[1162] But, right?

[1163] They were so focused, sure, totally.

[1164] So then, like, it was a week or two or three weeks later.

[1165] I'm like, okay, I'm warmed up to that.

[1166] So we sit around while they're lighting a scene and I go, hey, let's sit around and play a game.

[1167] Let's say, I'll go first.

[1168] You have to name a movie you're embarrassed to say you've never seen.

[1169] Oh, wonderful.

[1170] Oh, that's great.

[1171] Okay.

[1172] Great, great game.

[1173] So I'll go, I'll go first.

[1174] I've never seen the godfather and that was the end of the game because for the next half an hour every crew guy every single person that we're going to be dude what the fuck are you fucking kidding this guy's never seen the god oh my god what are you an idiot what are you got a fucking sandwich stuck in your fucking brain what are you fuck so I never heard anybody else's answer oh wow but I've never seen a Christmas story is my point Oh my god we promise me tonight when you get home watch it it is phenomenal it's so good it definitely holds up it's phenomenal okay good I'll see it now just really quick about being who you and I are which is I must get these people's attention and approval as quick as possible we're the same person I'm absolutely I think people are either drawn to me because I am that guy who's just constantly running on anxiety 24 hours a day or I'm that guy that people don't like because I'm running on anxiety 24 hours a day.

[1175] So it's such a turnoff to people.

[1176] But heaven helped the waiter that you and I have when we go out to lunch.

[1177] Poor waiter.

[1178] Because they step up and we're like, we're both kind of like, yeah, top hat and cane, like, yeah, I mean, but Sean's getting backstory.

[1179] He's finding out, so how long have you been here, yeah?

[1180] Well, with the, with the, everybody.

[1181] But I like that.

[1182] I'm as interested in people as you are.

[1183] Yeah, except this group.

[1184] Yes, that's true.

[1185] Okay.

[1186] You have one more in you.

[1187] Do you have another bullet in the chamber?

[1188] We were listening to the radio in the car, and there was an Elvis song on, and I got you, which is rare.

[1189] Yeah, because you know, I'm a mile, oh, yeah, you like that Elvis.

[1190] And also your face contorts in a really cute way.

[1191] Like I hates it.

[1192] When I'm sitting in that seat, it's hard for me to stare at it when it's happening.

[1193] I just want to know what he was doing with his diaphragm.

[1194] You guys are professionals.

[1195] Was he going like?

[1196] Like the way he is throwing his diaphragm around, isn't something happening medically?

[1197] It's contorting.

[1198] It's more his face than his diaphragm.

[1199] We're rocking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop.

[1200] There it is.

[1201] Misses a tongue where you can see.

[1202] Every couple tries to stop.

[1203] We're rocking around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas spirit ring.

[1204] I'm sorry, we got to start out.

[1205] I ruined it.

[1206] I thought, I'm sincerely sorry.

[1207] You're trying really hard and you're doing a great job.

[1208] I'm not mad.

[1209] And I made one fart noise.

[1210] I thought my buddy could handle it and he couldn't.

[1211] And I apologize and I rescind it and I take it back.

[1212] Okay, ready?

[1213] We're rocking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop.

[1214] Missletoe hung where you can see every couple tries to stop.

[1215] We're rocking around the Christmas tree let the Christmas spirit ring.

[1216] And later we'll have some pumpkin pie and we'll do some caroling.

[1217] I'm immune to him.

[1218] You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear voices singing, let's be jolly.

[1219] deck the halls with boughs of Raleigh rocking around The Christmas tree Have a happy holiday Everyone Dissimarily In the new old passion Way It's It's like I can't We're like we're 10 years old It's like Fart noises are funny You will You know what it really shows It's like no song is strong enough add that in and still keep the song going like it is a it's a showstopper oh my god i'm so sorry oh what a show how should we land this plane monica um i got everyone's christmas thanks for coming well hold on a second hold on i was not a good steward of this group have you ever been alone on christmas anyone what about thanksgiving have ever been alone on plenty on another date with a gale yeah 100 % Scotty these are the cute I want to do a full podcast of your dating history I know I know it's so sweet and I just it's yeah and what when you were on these dates what's the mental racket going on I mean it's hold the line keep playing the role yeah all of that stuff you know oh my God yeah yeah that is a very very specific version of compartmentalization yeah I mean it's it's hard for any you know kid or gay person who's not out and and trying to play the role and also deep down not disappointing people right as you know like people please or 100 % but also as an only child you know I had that perfect child complex thing that I had to kind of work through even in my adult life and every single day like to yeah we talk about all the time like the thing that I still have to get used to even at this age is not worrying about taking care of other people's things.

[1220] feelings of uncomfortableness about it because I you know we don't hold hands we don't do things and you know like at the stoplight if some if someone can see in our car window we have to keep holding hands instead of stop holding hands because it makes them feel right weird or you know what I mean so I have to still learn how to stop taking care of other people's feelings for that yeah it's also just conditioning the way we grew up in the 80s 90s and all that sort of stuff and it was so you know You know, the thing you didn't do was show your sexuality if you were gay.

[1221] But, yeah, we try to fight that.

[1222] Well, and I've met your father, and he is probably smiling the biggest at your wedding.

[1223] So clearly, very accepting and everything.

[1224] Oh, you both of them are.

[1225] But with that said, military world you're living in.

[1226] So I feel like it's compounded as a child.

[1227] It totally is.

[1228] It totally is.

[1229] And everybody's got those little poles in the ground that they have to hit when you're kind of living that life.

[1230] And mine was, I'm going to go to the Naval Academy.

[1231] and after the Naval Academy, I'm going to do this and that and the other.

[1232] And, you know, and when you're not hitting those flag markers, then, you know, you're like, I'm disappointing people and all that.

[1233] And when you were on these dates, I'm wondering, were you thinking, I'm just going to do this, like, obligatory dating.

[1234] So it appears that I'm on the scene and in pursuit of it.

[1235] Or were you actually like, no, I'm going to have to walk the whole walk in like, be with a girl?

[1236] I think it was truthfully just getting through the date.

[1237] You know what I mean?

[1238] Just getting through it, you know, did I walk her to the house?

[1239] Did I, you know, open the door for her, you know, all those kinds of gentlemanly things.

[1240] And it wasn't about anything above and beyond that.

[1241] It was just trying to be, you know, a nice gentleman.

[1242] I guess what I'm wondering is it was your long -term game plan.

[1243] Oh, at some point I'm going to have to get married and fake it.

[1244] Right.

[1245] Or was it I'm just going to act like I'm trying to find someone and I'll just never find someone.

[1246] I think that's probably the course back when.

[1247] Yeah.

[1248] It was just, oh, that didn't work out.

[1249] I didn't find the right girl.

[1250] Right, right.

[1251] It was always that.

[1252] It was always that.

[1253] And, Sean, did you have a, did you date girls ever?

[1254] One in college for two seconds.

[1255] Two seconds.

[1256] Yeah, just to be like, yeah, I was just scared.

[1257] I'm dating.

[1258] Yeah, I'm dating.

[1259] I'm dating.

[1260] Everyone else.

[1261] But no, in camp, at music camp, when I was like 15 years old, I went with, remember quotes, went with Mary Beth Rizzo.

[1262] Oh.

[1263] we kissed and that was like i just and you had to turn your badge upside down which meant you were taken and my family came but i felt uncomfortable with the whole thing because i felt like a lie but i went through all of that too you know kissing girls and it's just also just the the right of passage you got to figure out what makes you tick and for me it was i made out with tons and tons of girls and and and then also went on a lot of dates and but it but all of it was never it never lived sort of in my skin that this was the right thing for me. Yeah.

[1264] I tried, you know, but I couldn't.

[1265] Jess talks a lot about something that we're feeling like the world is off limits because when he came out, it was later and he can't go up to people and slide his phone number or like when he would want to hit on someone or if he would be attracted to someone the way you could when you were straight.

[1266] And I never even considered that, that like all this thing that society has about it, that it's still like, be careful.

[1267] Yeah.

[1268] about who you are, which doesn't make any sense, but he talks about feeling like the world is off limits because he has to make sure it's a safe spot that he knows for a fact that person is also gay.

[1269] And I thought, oh, my gosh, that's such a heavy load to carry around, and I didn't even consider it.

[1270] My first year of college, there was one guy's apartment that he would throw a party every, like, Thursday, Friday, or something, and it was the same eight or 10 gay guys.

[1271] Oh, really?

[1272] Yeah, and it was like, that was it.

[1273] you went to that party yeah yeah oh okay but but it was like that's who you had to hit on the only same spot you're all in one room right you know all 80 you yeah all the eligible bachelor's yeah right oh man right and then you know then then you start isn't it and it's not just like your experience being gay it's just doesn't it ever madden you it maddens myself that like so much of my current life is still predicted by six years of my life like five years old to 11 years old I still all my programming even with an awareness of it I know that we're all kids we're all kids but like the notion yes that you guys would be in the car and it would even cross your mind like oh we're holding hands that guy can see I now like it's been decades since you really needed to think that I still think it I know you do yeah and I'm just saying isn't it incredible how profound those early experiences are you like you can't shake them the rest of your life almost right right right right I mean you that's the work that's the work that you're working doing right now right We undo all of the negativity.

[1274] Yeah, yesterday, we just walked down Larchmont, right?

[1275] Larchmont here, you know, and we held hands.

[1276] Yeah, and I go, the first thing I always say, I grab his hand and I go, you're nervous?

[1277] You're nervous, you're nervous, you're nervous?

[1278] How's it?

[1279] How's I feel?

[1280] How's I feel?

[1281] I said, look, I'm going to plow through.

[1282] I'm going to get through it.

[1283] I'm going to get through it.

[1284] We have to be okay with it.

[1285] And on the outside, to me, yeah, it seems like, how could you guys be nervous about that?

[1286] But of course you are.

[1287] Well, because people get beat up and killed for it.

[1288] I know.

[1289] Still.

[1290] Yeah.

[1291] Even in like West Hollywood.

[1292] You know, it's still happened.

[1293] There's still gay bashing.

[1294] Not every week, but yeah.

[1295] Dina Menzel, my beautiful sister, and then not, again, all roads lead back to Frozen 2, but she wrote a beautiful Christmas album right now that's out.

[1296] And she wrote, it's fantastic, right?

[1297] It's always on the Broadway channel, yeah.

[1298] Yeah, and she wrote a song specifically about this, about people who either spend the holidays alone or don't feel welcome when coming home.

[1299] to a holiday experience and it's called At This Table and it's like at this table everyone is welcome.

[1300] I just heard that song today and it's fantastic.

[1301] It's really, really beautiful and yeah, she co -wrote it and it's awesome.

[1302] It's great.

[1303] I love that song.

[1304] Okay, Mama, I'm just praying you have one more in you.

[1305] Okay.

[1306] Maybe it's much too early in the game.

[1307] Oh, but I thought I'd ask you just the same.

[1308] What are you doing?

[1309] do in wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight it's exactly twelming in maybe i'm crazy to suppose i'd ever be you chose out of a thousand invitations you I stand here comes the jackpot question it's like a soothing cup of hot chocolate I don't know I yeah I uh I rarely hear you in that part of your voice where it's kind of smoky and sultry it's a little yeah that's nice i don't think i feel very comfortable down there so i don't do it often i stay in the disney princess register but no it sounds beautiful the dpr the dpr the dpr i like the dpr it's yielded fine results though yeah i'll say oh god bless you honey you really delivered tonight sweetie not surprise you're very on top of all the things you listed about the good looks and the comedic talent, the dramatic chops, the singing.

[1310] Also, number one, consistent, take one.

[1311] I've directed this bitch.

[1312] Take one.

[1313] Fucking perfect.

[1314] Take one.

[1315] Take one, Kristen.

[1316] Prepared.

[1317] What was it for Scotty?

[1318] I'm known as take nine, Sean.

[1319] Do me a solid Scotty.

[1320] Do me a solid Scotty.

[1321] Yeah.

[1322] Well, guys, Merry Christmas to everybody.

[1323] Merry Christmas.

[1324] Happy Honey.

[1325] And all of that.

[1326] I feel very, very, very lucky of other many gifts we have in life.

[1327] I'm not being saccharine or cheesy when I say friendships, friendships, friendships, the people you're with who gives a fuck if you're not with people you love and you're friends with and you love and you respect and you feel that they challenge you and make you rise to be a better person.

[1328] All these people in my life I'm so, so grateful for and you guys of course are a pillar of that.

[1329] Likewise, we love you guys and thank you for including us in your Christmas.

[1330] David, thank you so much.

[1331] Thank you for having me. Thank you.

[1332] Wobby Wob, thank you.

[1333] Monica, I love you so much.

[1334] Love you, soulmate.

[1335] Love everyone here.

[1336] Thank you, Monica.

[1337] We're sleeping at your house tonight, Monica.

[1338] Yay!

[1339] Sleep over.

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