Terry Crews

[0] Hi, Armcherry's.

[1] It's Miniature Mouse here.

[2] I just wanted to add a little disclaimer to this episode.

[3] If you haven't heard SAG AFRA has joined the strike.

[4] So it's a double strike now with the WGA.

[5] And it is important to say that we recorded this episode before SAG went on strike.

[6] So when we're talking about projects and everything we talk about, please note that we have since striked and some things have changed.

[7] But I wanted to make that clear.

[8] Now, let's on with the show.

[9] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[10] I'm Dan Shepard.

[11] I'm joined by Lily Padman.

[12] Ugh.

[13] What's a matter, Lily?

[14] Was there a Padman on your countertime?

[15] There was a buggy.

[16] A bug in my tea.

[17] In your Mary Kate and Ashley?

[18] Mug.

[19] Aye, aye, aye.

[20] Unacceptable.

[21] A bug in my mug.

[22] A bug in your mug.

[23] Spinoff show of nothing to see here.

[24] You don't listen to the fact check.

[25] You don't know what that is.

[26] Anywho, an old friend of mine is here today.

[27] Terry Cruz, you of course know Terry Cruz.

[28] Who doesn't know Terry Cruz?

[29] He's an actor, a television host, and a former football player.

[30] He has written a book, which is beautiful, called Tough, My Journey to True Power.

[31] He's also on season 18 of America's Got Talent, and he has a new entertainment company called Super Serious.

[32] That's not terribly serious.

[33] Of course, I met him and fell in love with him during I. Idiocracy, and I'm sure you did too.

[34] Also, Brooklyn 9 -9, white chicks, and everybody hates Chris.

[35] Terry Cruz was a blast.

[36] This was so much fun.

[37] It really was.

[38] And noted again, recorded before the strike.

[39] I don't even know if the strike is still going on as of today or not, but this was recorded before the strike.

[40] Yeah.

[41] And luckily, I don't know that he was actually promoting anything but just telling a story.

[42] He has an impeccable story.

[43] I really fell in love with him.

[44] loved this interview so vulnerable really really vulnerable there is something lovely about the mixed messages of a man that could have stood up and tore either of us in half physically but instead decided to be vulnerable and loving and caring yeah such a sweetheart i fucking love terry cruz please enjoy terry cruise wondery plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[45] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[46] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[47] Oh my God, it's good to see you.

[48] I know, man. This is awesome.

[49] You got that force and people see you when they're around you.

[50] They're happy.

[51] And I'm included in that group.

[52] Grateful.

[53] Listen, we're Michigan.

[54] Michiganers.

[55] Look at us.

[56] It's so much deeper than that, though.

[57] But I'm saying, not only we're both in Michigan, all the same shit was happening in childhood in Michigan.

[58] I know.

[59] That's what's freaky.

[60] Oh, wow.

[61] You're right, dude.

[62] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[63] And what's crazy?

[64] You don't know my story.

[65] I don't know yours.

[66] We've been friends now.

[67] I'd say we're friends.

[68] I mean, certainly when I see you, my heart explodes.

[69] Right?

[70] We always all over each other.

[71] We made history.

[72] Yeah, you sure did.

[73] Predicted the future.

[74] Yeah.

[75] That's right.

[76] Two of the dumbest members of idiocry of sitting down to chat today.

[77] I love.

[78] Love, love, love what Mike Judge did with that.

[79] And people don't know.

[80] You know, I auditioned for that thing like 20 times.

[81] Really?

[82] I auditioned so much.

[83] I just thought this is a game.

[84] Somebody's just laughing at me. Maybe they're going for a record.

[85] You know what I mean?

[86] Like, how many times is you going to keep going to it all?

[87] And I just said, you know what?

[88] I don't care.

[89] I'm just going to keep doing it.

[90] I'll never forget Mary Verno.

[91] She said, if you knew the people that were auditioning for this, the studio, they were wanting to us to push the other.

[92] people, but everyone just keeps coming back to you.

[93] That's the reason.

[94] Did you ever get any of those names?

[95] Because I've had this weird experience where I, too, had to beg to audition for that.

[96] I had done a couple episodes of King of the Hill, mildly friendly with Mike, like had lunch with him once, and then, you know, said, I really want to audition for this Frito role.

[97] And he said, no, you're not Frito.

[98] And I was like, I have a character I used to do at the groundlings.

[99] Like, I think it might work.

[100] So I think it's kind of interesting that we both really fought.

[101] I remember he stabbed himself he was a heroin addict hilarious comedian i can't believe i can't think of his name but he was going on every day on the radio talking about he had an audition for this movie and he heard they were gonna go with this guy dach shepherd who the fuck is that like talking shit oh my god yeah like over the years i found out some different people that read but you never found out who else was in the mix no i didn't want to know and do you think the studio was just like we need names yep i had done white chicks but it hadn't come out yet we were filming and the premiere of white chicks happened.

[102] I couldn't go to the premiere.

[103] My family was there and they were like, everybody's tripping out.

[104] It's so good.

[105] So what are they doing now?

[106] And what are they doing now?

[107] What about me though?

[108] How am I doing in the film?

[109] Oh no, no. You got to say, I watch TV like this.

[110] Me, me, me, blah, blah, blah, blah, me, me. Well, listen, people can relate to it.

[111] Whenever there's a photo taken of you and for other people and you know you only look at yourself.

[112] You have no clue how anyone else looks and then.

[113] Well, the same things happens when you're in TV.

[114] Totally.

[115] Because this is another thing.

[116] It can from game film.

[117] You know what I mean?

[118] Like the NFL.

[119] Okay, I could get a quicker step here.

[120] Yeah.

[121] I'm putting my hands too much here.

[122] I'm going to analyze every second of my performance.

[123] And my wife was like, relax.

[124] The poor people stuck with us.

[125] Yeah.

[126] You know, in some ways, you pop so big in idiocacy.

[127] But what's great is we didn't have many scenes together.

[128] I don't really know what you're doing in this movie, to be honest, until we have this crazy scene in an auditorium where you're like up there campaigning and I'm seeing what's happening for the first time and I'm with Maya and we're like what is this force of nature oh my it's so sexual the campaign was so sexual it was lots of pelvic thrust lots of innuendo it's almost like if james brown actually looked how he felt inside that was kamata like there was a volcanic sexuality to james brown but he didn't physically necessarily pull up, but this was it.

[129] I based him off a real person in Flint, Michigan, who was my pastor growing up.

[130] What's crazy.

[131] I'm going to give you a little background on me. I grew up in an ultra -religious household.

[132] It was a thing called the Church of God and Christ, Holy Rollers.

[133] First of all, I could not go to the movies.

[134] I couldn't listen to secular music.

[135] I couldn't dance.

[136] I couldn't play sports.

[137] I couldn't do anything.

[138] Every single thing you do.

[139] and shut your ass up.

[140] Read the Bible.

[141] That's it.

[142] On Sunday, we went from 9 to 4, went home and 8, and came back.

[143] Oh, my God.

[144] We went back, man. I remember $6 million man was on.

[145] And I was like, you know, this is when he meets.

[146] This is the biotic man. And it's Oscar Goldman.

[147] They're like, nope, we're going right on back to Jersey.

[148] We don't have a VCR.

[149] You just missed it.

[150] You just had to hear it from everybody else.

[151] People would be talking, and you wouldn't know what the hell happen.

[152] And then we go Monday night shut in, Tuesday night prayer, Wednesday night.

[153] You do it again, another church.

[154] And then Thursday night is another, dude, I'm trying to tell you it was so crazy, but this pastor was this personality.

[155] Really quick.

[156] Was it Southern in any way?

[157] No. Your dad's from Georgia.

[158] Right.

[159] He's from Georgia.

[160] Right.

[161] He came up for the Ottawa industry.

[162] Exactly.

[163] But it wasn't Southern.

[164] It wasn't.

[165] He was just a cool cat.

[166] He turned it on.

[167] He would warm up and How are y 'all doing?

[168] The Lord is good in here.

[169] You know, and then by the time he was done, he would rile.

[170] And you got to understand, most of the church were women.

[171] Okay.

[172] Because the guys were like, we don't believe in all that, you know.

[173] Well, your dad among them.

[174] Right.

[175] My father was not going.

[176] They're all working 60 hours a week overtime.

[177] U .A .W. They're hammered.

[178] Exactly.

[179] Okay, honey.

[180] Go ahead.

[181] Yeah, you do that church stack.

[182] And bring the kids.

[183] Oh, you're taking the kids great.

[184] Good.

[185] I'm by myself.

[186] You know what I mean?

[187] And I can drink this beer all alone.

[188] But this dude.

[189] would rile these women up.

[190] And God say it, what they're going to do?

[191] By the time he was done, but it was just almost sexual thing.

[192] Women were probably on the cuss.

[193] And it, oh, amen.

[194] I feel the Lord.

[195] I feel the Lord in a weird place.

[196] It's generally in my heart, but it's in my loins today.

[197] I feel the Lord all over.

[198] It was a lot of that.

[199] Yes, wonderful.

[200] Dude, but as a kid, I was going, what is he saying?

[201] And he wasn't saying anything.

[202] Oh, God.

[203] It was gibberish.

[204] Oh, my God.

[205] It was, and he came down from the mountain.

[206] And he went back up.

[207] I said up.

[208] Can you stay up?

[209] And people were like, yeah.

[210] He's a cult leader.

[211] He preached, but he said nothing.

[212] And I said, this is President Camacho.

[213] It's about charisma.

[214] And listen, this pastor ended up selling drugs out of the pulpit, having affairs all over the church.

[215] Of course, he did.

[216] He resists.

[217] He had everyone so riled up.

[218] He was on crack and selling crack.

[219] Oh, my.

[220] Out of the pulpit.

[221] Out of the pulpit.

[222] He was taking your money and spinning it right on the corner.

[223] Exactly.

[224] Oh, and he had affairs all over the church because he was like, you know them women's.

[225] You know what them women's come in and they wear them nice, pretty things.

[226] I can't resist.

[227] Oh, my God.

[228] Yeah.

[229] And I found all this out later.

[230] And it was so horrified.

[231] But at the time, it was everything I knew.

[232] Our family lived this.

[233] To know that he was like a straight up cult leader.

[234] Yes.

[235] It's crazy.

[236] He actually wrote a book and came out later.

[237] He wrote a book.

[238] He kind of confessed.

[239] I don't know what I was going to admire him for that.

[240] Yeah, of course.

[241] I actually do.

[242] He's got to get to heaven someday.

[243] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[244] He's like, let me try to make up for this.

[245] Yeah, like 11th hour.

[246] But I based him on that and I said, nobody is going to be able to bring this experience because I lived it.

[247] I wonder if he ever saw idiocrycy.

[248] That's a great question.

[249] I wonder.

[250] And if he was like, oh, this guy could be getting so much action if he just had a church.

[251] It probably wasn't his thing, to be honest with you.

[252] Remember, no movies at the time.

[253] But this was the thing our church did.

[254] It was so nuts.

[255] You couldn't go to the movies, but you could watch Jaws on ABC Sunday night.

[256] People took it to an old another level.

[257] They would put a TV in the windowsill.

[258] And they would say, I'll have a TV in my house.

[259] Oh.

[260] Oh, they keep it on the porch and watch it through the window.

[261] Crazy games.

[262] The loopholes people will find.

[263] And then you're growing up in a total environment of hypocrisy.

[264] And it's at home as well.

[265] Yep.

[266] My dad was super abusive.

[267] My earliest memory is him knocking my mother out.

[268] Right.

[269] Straight up.

[270] And I said, I know the rules.

[271] That's it.

[272] It's your world, bro.

[273] You know, you're five.

[274] My father would walk around the house and I would hear, boom, boom.

[275] He's not a little dude.

[276] He's big Terry.

[277] You're little Terry.

[278] I'm a little Terry.

[279] And you dare not challenge.

[280] And this is a part of the world, too, and the time.

[281] It was their way or the highway.

[282] It was your foreman.

[283] It was like, I say what goes, brother.

[284] And you're like, damn it.

[285] Yeah, he's a foreman at work.

[286] And he can't switch gears on the way home.

[287] Can't.

[288] Because he's stopping at the bar.

[289] He's probably the foreman there.

[290] Totally.

[291] He was a foreman, so he wasn't part of the black community over there.

[292] You see what I'm saying?

[293] So, freaking tricky.

[294] So I have a friend that's in a similar situation.

[295] He is a union rep for the UAW that was sent to work inside with all the management that's non -union.

[296] So the union hates him because he's up there in the house.

[297] And everyone in management hates him because he's union.

[298] He's like a man without a country.

[299] He's like, it's the most isolating, terrible thing.

[300] It's like ruining my life.

[301] It's kind of like where the DGA is right now.

[302] You know, they settle.

[303] Yeah.

[304] We got a deal.

[305] It's like, oh, wait a minute.

[306] You know what I mean?

[307] Writers are like, hey, side.

[308] doesn't got theirs.

[309] Writers don't have theirs.

[310] DGA's like, we're good.

[311] We made it.

[312] Good luck.

[313] We got to the country.

[314] Let's seal the border now.

[315] Do you have brothers and sisters?

[316] Sorry, do you have brothers?

[317] Yes, I have an older brother who's my high brother and a younger sister.

[318] My brother lives in Atlanta now.

[319] My sister's actually a judge in Detroit.

[320] Oh, that's incredible.

[321] She's a judge.

[322] But we haven't talked in a while.

[323] Okay.

[324] Lots of family stuff.

[325] Yeah.

[326] You know, once you get famous, it's a real adjustment.

[327] My best friend growing up, but my whole life sued me for a million dollars.

[328] On what grounds?

[329] What was he?

[330] He said, I ran all your social media since 95.

[331] And I went, that's interesting because there was no social media in 1995, man. Well, he's also suing Facebook because he invented social media in 95.

[332] Dude, he was making things.

[333] He found an ambulance chasing attorney and they start submitting stuff.

[334] Then he goes public.

[335] It was in deadline.

[336] He was like, I'm going to embarrass him.

[337] You embarrass you into paying me. Yeah.

[338] It's my best friend.

[339] It's desperation.

[340] I constantly think there have got to be many people that hate my guts.

[341] And I probably would too.

[342] You know, the thing I immediately relate to you so much with you is like middle child.

[343] My dad was not abusive.

[344] He was gone.

[345] He left at three.

[346] He's an alcoholic.

[347] So every weekend we were there with him, all the same shit.

[348] You're talking about like, all of a sudden, he's crying and we're comforting him.

[349] Now, he did.

[350] He fought my brother.

[351] He tried to fight me. But he never beat up any women.

[352] But I had step dads who beat up.

[353] I got it.

[354] And so I think the parallel that I relate to so much is I don't know that there's anything more emasculating than not being able to protect your mom.

[355] Nothing.

[356] It's like the most soul -crushing thing in the world.

[357] She's the love of your life and you can't do anything.

[358] It is so fucking brutal.

[359] Listen, I have memories.

[360] It's weird because you realize you can live anywhere.

[361] You can do anything because you adjust.

[362] You adjust to wherever you are.

[363] You know, you're in an anarchical right now.

[364] It'd be like, I'll nurse my coat.

[365] And you'll find a way to be happy.

[366] But the thing is, is that me and my mom, I'll never forget her nursing her face with a ice package of peas.

[367] She was like, give me the bag of peas.

[368] I'll come in and I give her the peas.

[369] And we'd sit and watch the Carol Burnett show.

[370] And it was the best time ever because she would laugh.

[371] And I was like, I got to do that.

[372] In the middle of her pain, look at what Carol Burnett, Harvey Corman, Vicki Lawrence, look at what they're doing.

[373] It's a jail break.

[374] Oh, dude.

[375] And I said, but I want to do that for her.

[376] So I would run around the house.

[377] I would do funny things and funny dances and all this stuff.

[378] And she just cracked up.

[379] Early President Camacho.

[380] You know what I mean?

[381] And I mimic people.

[382] Do all that stuff.

[383] That I always found was a beautiful escape for her.

[384] I was performing before I was a performer.

[385] Yeah, you're trying to regulate an adult's emotions for them is what you're trying to do.

[386] I know.

[387] And it's exhausting.

[388] You don't really have a childhood when you're busy.

[389] doing that.

[390] I didn't have any.

[391] You're also talking about pleasing my dad, get him a beer, and keep them out of the red, man, because you do not want to, hey, what's going on it?

[392] And all of a sudden, the world stopped.

[393] The whole atmosphere.

[394] Hey, and you're like, oh, shit.

[395] You're like the barometric pressure changes in the room.

[396] Listen, you know, I peed in the bed till I was 14, 15 years old, because I didn't know what was going to happen.

[397] It created this thing in me where I couldn't hold my pee when I was sleeping because I was just always You're on over arousal.

[398] Glass breaking, people shouting.

[399] My mother stabbed him.

[400] I woke up.

[401] There was police lights.

[402] He's bleeding.

[403] He's on the step.

[404] The whole thing.

[405] And the cops are just like, ah, it's no big deal.

[406] You know, back then, you could beat each other up.

[407] Well, now here's the, this is the weird Michigan vibe.

[408] And I don't know if it's everywhere, but I certainly know it was in Michigan, which is, it's a blue -collar group that found their way into some pretty good wages.

[409] No training for that.

[410] Some expendable income.

[411] You can afford to get fucked up nonstop.

[412] There's an interesting vibe, and then there's a lot of folks up from down south, you, Georgia, me, Kentucky, that culture of pride, violence is expected.

[413] These are just what men do.

[414] Maybe it's just the time.

[415] I don't know.

[416] I think you're right.

[417] This is going to blow your mind.

[418] Remember the crack era.

[419] Everyone was like, oh, my God, it's the most violent era.

[420] I mean, people shooting kids with Uzi's, the whole thing.

[421] But I did my homework.

[422] I went back and looked at the statistics of violence in Michigan.

[423] it was more violent in the 50s.

[424] Really?

[425] How can you be more violent than the crack era?

[426] Yeah.

[427] And nothing's being reported in the 50s.

[428] But that's the thing.

[429] Nobody would report it.

[430] Yeah.

[431] You could go shoot a man and it wouldn't even make the paper.

[432] Terry, Terry, I've been exploring the haunchal side of my family and my uncle, Cal, he was in prison for beating a guy to death in Detroit.

[433] Seven years later, he's out in time to shoot his brother in the back with a shotgun.

[434] and then out again in time to rob a gas station four years.

[435] I'm like, what do we?

[436] People were in jail for like a season.

[437] Fall in Jackson for this murder.

[438] I was looking at his record thinking, how was he out of prison nonstop?

[439] Back then, it was just different.

[440] Listen, I had an uncle who literally was cheating with this one lady and then beat up the husband for getting angry.

[441] Oh, boy.

[442] After what?

[443] He was jealous of the hurt.

[444] You leave that bitch alone.

[445] I was like, wait, whoa, that's my wife.

[446] wife, man. He's like, no, no. That's none of your business.

[447] That's my bitch.

[448] What we do.

[449] Okay, so listen to me. I was like, what in the world?

[450] And this is the 50s and early 60s.

[451] And that kind of thing where everyone looks at it like, this is this heyday.

[452] No, that was on TV.

[453] But in real life, you could go out there and just stab somebody and they wouldn't even make the paper.

[454] He should have knew better.

[455] You got stabbed and get scolded right after that.

[456] Yes.

[457] They were telling women who got raped, it was their fault.

[458] They were telling dudes who got stabbed.

[459] It was their fault.

[460] That's up until very recently.

[461] You're so right.

[462] What would you wear it?

[463] What was you wearing?

[464] Exactly.

[465] How many drinks did you have?

[466] I don't know.

[467] A cabillion.

[468] You think that's permission to rape me?

[469] No. Dude, violence.

[470] It was the way everyone kept their rules.

[471] You're right.

[472] The money had something to do with it.

[473] Yeah, it's a curious, like you gave a lot of blue collar working class dudes a pretty good amount of money.

[474] It was interesting.

[475] It was a lot of money, for that time.

[476] Can you imagine?

[477] My father came out of a city that had 300 people in Georgia.

[478] And his father worked on a town.

[479] chain gang.

[480] He went to jail for stealing and abandoning his family.

[481] My father had to watch his dad work a chain gang while he was on a bus on the way to school.

[482] That's what's crazy.

[483] That's how he's dealing with his pain.

[484] And I learned this later after doing much, much research in my family, after therapy, after all this stuff.

[485] Because as a kid, you just don't understand why everybody's crazy.

[486] Well, first of all, it's all you know.

[487] Secondly, a lot of your friends are going through the same shit.

[488] Everyone I was attracted to as a kid also had divorced parents.

[489] They also had step parents.

[490] Alcoholism was just baseline of everyone.

[491] You didn't even call it alcoholism.

[492] You just acting like an adult.

[493] Every male adult in my town was a fucking drunk.

[494] That's it.

[495] If you were on the street, you were a whino.

[496] Yeah.

[497] True.

[498] True.

[499] But anything other than that, there was no such thing as alcoholism.

[500] Nobody called it anything.

[501] My dad got four DUIs, was going to go to prison and then went to treatment.

[502] Wow.

[503] But the first three, he didn't have a drink.

[504] problem.

[505] It wasn't to like, oh my God, he's going to go to prison for that?

[506] I guess this is an actual problem.

[507] Maybe it's an issue.

[508] Yeah.

[509] Oh, fun question.

[510] Did you ever go to Auto World?

[511] I happened to go the one year it was open on a field trip.

[512] First of all, I almost got a job there.

[513] Oh, okay.

[514] That would have been a great place to work.

[515] But all my friends had got all the good jobs.

[516] And they were like, parking is left.

[517] And I was like, oh, man, I wanted one of those indoor jobs.

[518] Sure, sure, sure.

[519] They had a Ferris wheel inside.

[520] They did.

[521] Right next to the big engine.

[522] engine.

[523] And that's all all the world had.

[524] It had the Ferris wheel and the big engine.

[525] What is that?

[526] Can I tell you that?

[527] Okay.

[528] They made this like museum amusement park indoors in Flint because the weather is so fucking terrible.

[529] Mind you where I'm from in Milford, that's like 20 miles from Flint on 23.

[530] 23.

[531] All you say in these words.

[532] You have 23.

[533] Big Beaver Highway.

[534] X 69.

[535] I remember all of this.

[536] It only was in business for about a year.

[537] And I happened to go on a field trip.

[538] The reason I remember that trip so much as we were fucking broke.

[539] My mom was a janitor at the Proving Grounds at GM.

[540] She was not in the union and she had three kids.

[541] I eat bologna sandwiches every single day for every single lunch of my life.

[542] I went on this trip to Auto World and my mom got me a store bought bagel with cream cheese and a fucking three pack of Twinkies.

[543] It wasn't even the double.

[544] There was a bonus Twinkie in there.

[545] And Terry, when I opened this fucking lunch bag and I saw the bounty in there, I was like, oh my God.

[546] I still want to find those memorable thing ever.

[547] Three, Twinkies, all mine.

[548] Dude.

[549] And so that was your, you had that for lunch when you went to Ottawa.

[550] When I went to Auto World.

[551] So that's indelibly linked.

[552] I love Auto World because when you go there, you might have three Twinkies and a store -bought bagel.

[553] No wonder you like cars so much.

[554] That's why.

[555] Well, you know, that whole world was built on cars.

[556] I mean, my father worked for Buick.

[557] I remember pillars of smoke when I was walking to school because the workers would burn foreign cars in the lot.

[558] Oh, I just.

[559] I was writing about this.

[560] My mom just drove a Ford, but she had to park in another parking lot.

[561] The people who drove Honda's there, they would torch their fucking car.

[562] Torture.

[563] Yeah.

[564] Torch them.

[565] Fire bomb them in the parking lot.

[566] You come in on one.

[567] It would literally be on fire when you got off your ship.

[568] You could not drive a Honda in the late 70s, mid -80s.

[569] No. You were asking to get destroyed.

[570] Oh, you were going to get jumped.

[571] Yeah.

[572] If you were at a ball, you couldn't walk into a bar.

[573] It was so serious.

[574] And it was so car culture that they had clubs based on what kind of car you had.

[575] You got a La Sabre Club.

[576] Yeah, Park Avenue Club.

[577] Yeah, Park Avenue Club.

[578] This is the Electra 225 Club.

[579] Yeah.

[580] But they were all around drinking.

[581] Get hammered and drive your fucking 6 ,000 pounds, 21 foot piece of split steel.

[582] When we went to Michigan, we did a live show there.

[583] When was it?

[584] Five years ago.

[585] At some point.

[586] And Dax was like, we got to watch people.

[587] We got to go to Woodward.

[588] I'm like, let's go to Woodward.

[589] Yeah.

[590] And I was like, what are we going to do?

[591] And you're like, we just sit and watch people drive up and down.

[592] the street.

[593] I was like, excuse me?

[594] Like, this is what people do.

[595] But then, yeah.

[596] Then you love that.

[597] That it was fun.

[598] I said with the trunk pop.

[599] We had some refreshments.

[600] Everyone's out there doing the same thing.

[601] It feels like such a community.

[602] I miss that.

[603] There's some purity to the whole thing.

[604] It's funny because when I talk about Flint, I talk about the difficulty.

[605] It was hard when the crack epidemic hit and then all the auto thing went away.

[606] That's Roger me. If you've ever seen that doc, it was so good.

[607] I lived it.

[608] I mean, it was just.

[609] Eviction, massive.

[610] Watching your friends leave.

[611] It was a panic.

[612] The only thing I can really relate it to was the beginning of Walking Dead when everything was different.

[613] You know what I mean?

[614] Obviously, kids are eating people.

[615] You're like, wait, hey, kid, what are you doing?

[616] It was like, what is going on right now?

[617] Because crack changed everything.

[618] People you knew were totally different.

[619] Turned into zombies.

[620] My uncle went down.

[621] I can say this because he's now like 26 years sober.

[622] But president of the Bakers Union at Wonderbred, I mean, the whole night lost the family.

[623] was a zombie for like a year living in my grandparents' house.

[624] Just it got to him.

[625] It was so nasty and bizarre and creepy because my mother was so religious.

[626] She was also so strict.

[627] So I didn't go anywhere.

[628] I wasn't allowed to do anything, which almost saved my life.

[629] Which is one of the reasons why I'm still here.

[630] When I was a kid, I was like, oh, I hate you.

[631] You never let me do anything.

[632] But if I got to do what I wanted, I probably wouldn't be a lot.

[633] Well, also, there's so many ways you can chase that.

[634] River, which is the fact that you didn't play football, the college is mind -blowing to me. That's so weird that you've tried out for the first time in college.

[635] You wonder if you were playing since eighth grade how your NFL career would have been.

[636] So maybe you would have had a different NFL career that doesn't bring you to acting.

[637] Or get burned out.

[638] Mike Strand didn't play until he was like in college.

[639] Oh, really?

[640] Yeah, because he was a military kid.

[641] So he just kind of hopped around and he's fresh.

[642] He actually likes the game.

[643] But this is another thing, though.

[644] I didn't really like football.

[645] Okay.

[646] This is the revelation.

[647] I learned today, which is like, you were an art nerd.

[648] Yes.

[649] Have you ever seen Terry's drawings?

[650] No. He does portraits that are the most photorealistic, and he'll do them of cast members and stuff.

[651] And he'll post them sometimes.

[652] And then I'll also do like time -lap stuff.

[653] He's insanely talented, good enough that you were going to a special school.

[654] Yep.

[655] And this blew my mind I learned today.

[656] You went to interlocking.

[657] That's what like white kids from Vermont was.

[658] Exactly.

[659] What were you doing there?

[660] That was the first time I, ever really was in white culture.

[661] Yes, super white, artistic, liberal white culture.

[662] Oh my God.

[663] Kids from San Francisco.

[664] It's very fancy.

[665] I don't even know what it is, by the way.

[666] I've never been up there.

[667] It's an art school, and it has an interlocking arts camp.

[668] Dan Gore, the creator of Brooklyn 9 -9, went to interlocking.

[669] No kidding.

[670] But also, Jeffrey Epstein had a cabin up there.

[671] No way.

[672] Yeah.

[673] Wonderful.

[674] Where he was like, I know, it's the creepiest thing ever.

[675] And he gave a lot of money to interlocking.

[676] And he was like, I would love to meet these students.

[677] Oh, God, of course he was.

[678] He did pray on artists specifically.

[679] He funded a lot of artists.

[680] Yes.

[681] Yeah, he did.

[682] Oh, no, it's, when you start linking this stuff, you know, there was an island up near the UP.

[683] Mackinnell?

[684] No, it was a little small off -the -chart island where this pedophile used to fly kids up for a boys camp.

[685] And years later, it came out.

[686] But again, didn't make the news.

[687] Because that was in the 60s and 70s.

[688] Yeah, I was going to add, everyone's getting molested.

[689] I got molested.

[690] Everyone I'm friends with got molested.

[691] Dude, my mother was so, listen.

[692] That's the only upside of this religious thing is it.

[693] She was like, no, no, no, don't go with him.

[694] No, no, but he said he's going to take me to the, no, no, you're going to stay right here.

[695] And she knew it happened to her.

[696] But see, I had to wait to get to Hollywood to get molester.

[697] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[698] Okay, that took a while.

[699] It took a while.

[700] It took a while.

[701] I was in my late 40s.

[702] Oh, my God.

[703] Holy cow.

[704] That was the wake -up call of this century.

[705] Okay, so interlocking leads to an art scholarship at Western?

[706] Western Michigan University.

[707] And it was only $500.

[708] But at the time, you could go to school for $2 ,500.

[709] Yeah, exactly.

[710] I went up to Western one time to visit somebody and drank at some bar.

[711] Maybe there was a bar there called Birds or something.

[712] B -U.

[713] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[714] Birds.

[715] That's a hit town.

[716] Yep.

[717] How was being black in that hick town?

[718] Oh, horrible.

[719] We were ignored.

[720] It was just the way it was.

[721] I remember it was U .E. Lewis on the news, on the radio.

[722] nonstop, you're like, happy to be stuck with you.

[723] If I hear this song one more time, I'm going to go crazy.

[724] I'm going to lose my mind.

[725] Somebody put on some Rick James, please.

[726] We were so ignored.

[727] Me and my friend at the time started a show on Wider, which was the Western Michigan radio show called Darwin's Theory that played all funk and hip -hop, and it was the only two hours of the week you could get that.

[728] And I used to just be like, this is so amazing, you know, we got, we get the records.

[729] You're 100 miles from Motown.

[730] It's preposterous.

[731] Yeah.

[732] We were totally ignored.

[733] So you were ignored, not fucked with.

[734] No, no, because I'm big.

[735] Yeah, who's going to fuck with you?

[736] This is where I need to catch up.

[737] So as I said, I felt very masculated by the experience of watching my mother get beat, as you did.

[738] And then we had the molesting.

[739] I, too, we shared this, I learned, just obsessed with strength, with not being vulnerable.

[740] Anything that established me as masculine and a threat and not to be crossed.

[741] Same here.

[742] How much of this is genetic?

[743] What's going on?

[744] When did you start putting on like this mass?

[745] First of all, I picked up a lot of that religiosity.

[746] So I was like, no, I'm not going to have sex until I'm married and I'm going to be about the right thing.

[747] But I would go outside and put on a performance because that's where the gangs were.

[748] That's where the drug dealers were.

[749] The movie, Friday after Next, I played this guy named Damon, and I knew this cat because he was this dude straight out of jail.

[750] He was like, Craig and Day Day, what's up, fool?

[751] Yeah.

[752] You know, and I would perform that way when I was outside.

[753] You'd like code switch.

[754] Right.

[755] So they could leave me alone.

[756] Yes, you know what I mean?

[757] Your head kicked in.

[758] And then this is also the early days of working out.

[759] So I remember getting all the magazines at the end of the comic books were ever tired of getting sand kicked in your face.

[760] You would get like this book of like three exercises.

[761] And some dude drew them out.

[762] Go from Geat to Zeke or whatever they would say, yeah.

[763] And I would do those ex -ups.

[764] You know, I would do sit -ups until my stomach cramped until everything tightened up to the point where I was like, I'm going to get big.

[765] What age did that start?

[766] Oh, that was probably 11.

[767] Oh, really?

[768] That early.

[769] You know what I mean?

[770] Well, of course, his dad's in the house.

[771] I'm in a hurry to defend myself.

[772] But also, that's around the time when things started changing.

[773] The 80s, when it started to hit, when things started to get real gnarly.

[774] And so I was obsessed with it.

[775] Like, I happened.

[776] to be strong.

[777] So by the time you got to college, you were already pretty big.

[778] In college, I was 205 coming in.

[779] Okay.

[780] Remember, I wouldn't go to an athletic school.

[781] I went to an artistic school.

[782] The art talent was the thing.

[783] It was always people were trying to make me choose.

[784] I would go to art class with like a letterman's jacket and they were like, you don't belong here.

[785] Maybe wearing black, we're artists.

[786] And then I start drawing.

[787] Everybody like, oh, damn.

[788] And I was like, yeah, and I'm left -handed, right brain, so I just start whipping it out.

[789] Oh, I'm left -handed too.

[790] You're left -handed?

[791] And I think I read the size of your hands and your college thing, and I was like, do we have the same size of me?

[792] Oh, my God.

[793] Oh, look at that.

[794] Oh, look at that.

[795] But again, my hands were this big when I was like 12.

[796] Yeah, look at those motherfuckers.

[797] I had to grow into my hands and feet.

[798] I don't know that you used to have yet.

[799] I haven't done it yet.

[800] I look at the size of those.

[801] I'm such a quirky dude.

[802] It's so weird.

[803] Come here, my pretty.

[804] Stay tuned for more armchair.

[805] expert if you dare we've all been there turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains debilitating body aches sudden fevers and strange rashes though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios it's usually nothing but for an unlucky few these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter whose body was found at home by his son except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[806] Hey, listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[807] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[808] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[809] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[810] Prime members can listen early and add free on Amazon Music.

[811] What's up, guys?

[812] This is your girl Kiki and my podcast.

[813] is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[814] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[815] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[816] And I don't mean just friends.

[817] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[818] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[819] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[820] And then I would go to football practice with my portfolio and anybody like, hey, man, put that shit down.

[821] So what I would draw was very manly things.

[822] So I would draw sports.

[823] In fact, when I got cut from the NFL, and then I got cut a lot.

[824] Six teams and only played 32 games.

[825] Yeah, it's it, dude.

[826] But I was everywhere.

[827] Kept my bags packed, me and my wife.

[828] Yeah.

[829] But when I got cut, I would go back in the locker room and ask the players if they wanted their portraits painted.

[830] And I would show them what I would do.

[831] And they were like, wait a minute.

[832] I would put them over the cities and make these things.

[833] And they would be like, oh, this is legit down.

[834] And, you know, they thought they would live forever, but they didn't realize in football.

[835] As soon as you're two years out, no one remembers your name.

[836] A lot of us have an idea of what the NFL is.

[837] I only happen to know because Kristen's cousin married a guy.

[838] If you're bouncing around from teams, you're getting league minimum, yeah?

[839] Yep, it's nothing.

[840] I mean, it is compared to working on McDonald's or whatever, but not to be out of town and living out of hotels and stuff.

[841] No, and you get paid per game.

[842] There's no guarantee contract.

[843] If I was on a team for three games, I got paid for that game, and then the money stopped.

[844] Yeah.

[845] So, yeah, when you were at Green Bay and you didn't play.

[846] I've spent six months in Green Bay trying to make the team getting $150 a week to work out and then got cut.

[847] That is like McDonald's.

[848] Yeah.

[849] Oh, it's worse.

[850] Oh, it's worth.

[851] Yeah, I might as well had been, like, I would have made more money at McDonald's.

[852] Yeah.

[853] That's the reality.

[854] And I remember my family showed up and we were at the last game.

[855] and they were like, it's the final cut.

[856] And they said, we're going to let you go.

[857] And I was like, no, you don't understand the pain.

[858] And what's so funny is that now, you know, they have hard knocks where they film people going through that pain.

[859] Yeah, great show.

[860] And they're like, oh, yeah, that's a great shot, right?

[861] They're just exploiting you, just using you, all your pain.

[862] Oh, yeah, did you get knocked out?

[863] Let's get it on camera.

[864] That's funny because I love that show, and I can tell for you it's triggering.

[865] Oh, no, no, it's totally triggered.

[866] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[867] I always thought, if you filmed me?

[868] Yeah.

[869] In your humiliation.

[870] Can you imagine you're in your worst spot in your life?

[871] No, it'd be like anytime one of my movies didn't open, they put cameras on me. Saturday morning when the fucking totals were known.

[872] Just to watch your reaction.

[873] And it didn't make any money.

[874] Or every time you leave a bad audition.

[875] There's a film crew in your car.

[876] Oh, no, it would be a horrifying.

[877] There's no moment as specific as getting back in your car after a bad audition.

[878] I got the best story.

[879] about that.

[880] You know, the Wayans are my guys.

[881] I was auditioning for wife and kids, and Damon loved me. He's like, we got this part for you.

[882] Trans really quick, is that before white chicks or after?

[883] This before white chicks.

[884] Before all of it.

[885] And you got to say, I need a show.

[886] I need some money.

[887] I just got three kids and it got one on the Wayne.

[888] Five total now, but I'm going, holy cow, this would be a godsend.

[889] Then my agent said, hey, man, it's yours to lose.

[890] And I was like, oh!

[891] That has lost me. Every time someone said that to me, I went out and lost it.

[892] It's so painful then, but it's so funny now.

[893] Because it balances out.

[894] But what was wild is I went there, and I'll never forget all the Wayans or there.

[895] There's like 17 Wayans.

[896] And they're all like, yeah, go kill it, kill it, kill it.

[897] Yeah, we know you're going to be the best.

[898] And then I hold up my thighs and my hands are shaking.

[899] Oh, dear.

[900] Thanks, I'm like, this never happened before.

[901] I'm a big guy, but I'm scared.

[902] Do you do what I was trying to say came out like, but the way, la, la, la, la, la, what is killing on?

[903] I'm choking my ass off.

[904] And this is the face I could never forget.

[905] Kim Wands, because she's the lone female face out of all these dudes.

[906] The Nurture.

[907] And the boys are just boys everywhere, like cold, like, man, what the fuck?

[908] And she's going, oh.

[909] That's worse.

[910] And it was worse, because that's the face I remember, like the pity face.

[911] Like, damn, he dropped the ball.

[912] He shit the bad.

[913] You can just hear, oh, what was that?

[914] How's that mean?

[915] Dude, I remember leaving, and I was like, thank you.

[916] Like, I said it as a question.

[917] Oh, my God.

[918] And they were like, he will never, ever, this is over.

[919] I get in my car, and I'm like, what was that?

[920] What, what's that?

[921] And then I play it back.

[922] I knew the other shit like three more times in the car.

[923] Always.

[924] And nail it.

[925] That would have been great.

[926] But it's too late.

[927] And so I got another audition across town.

[928] And I go, I don't care anymore, man. Now, I was ready to quit.

[929] Yeah.

[930] I was going to say, you get in the car and you actually have a moment and you go, hmm, I actually don't think I can do it.

[931] I'm not good at this.

[932] Yeah.

[933] This might not be for me. That was proof positive.

[934] I said, I can't handle this.

[935] I said, it's over.

[936] I said, I better figure out something else to do.

[937] And they said, you got one more.

[938] And I said, I don't care.

[939] I don't care.

[940] I'm retired.

[941] Yeah, I was.

[942] I had officially retired.

[943] And I was like, whatever, man. I didn't even look at the sides.

[944] I walk in.

[945] I'm like, hey, how you doing?

[946] What's up?

[947] What we got?

[948] And it's Keenan Airy Wands.

[949] And the movie is white chicks.

[950] No. Same day?

[951] Same day.

[952] No. That's insane.

[953] I don't care anymore.

[954] Yeah.

[955] And I'm like, and I just walk in like, oh, man, it must be summertime in the Hampton.

[956] But it is snowing up in here.

[957] And I didn't.

[958] not care.

[959] Yeah, yeah.

[960] And everything I did, Keenan was like, what, whoa, whoa.

[961] And I was like, whatever, man. I'm retired anyway.

[962] Like in my head.

[963] This would have been fun, but I'm actually out of the game now.

[964] I was like, yeah, but you know, I'm actually going to look for another job.

[965] The fact that I did not care anymore.

[966] And I've got to tell you this, man, this is why I'm so proud of you.

[967] You doing this podcast is the same reason I started hosting.

[968] No way.

[969] Because you and I have this fear of being broke.

[970] Oh, God, yeah.

[971] Okay.

[972] We don't want to go back.

[973] Doesn't matter how much you make either.

[974] We don't want to go back to bologna.

[975] You want to eat bologna because you want it.

[976] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[977] You know what I mean?

[978] You got wrong with a delicious bologna.

[979] Oh, it's a beautiful meat.

[980] But being forced to eat bologna, you want an option.

[981] Well, did you hear that Chris Rock joke in his most recent stand -up?

[982] He said, I identify as broke.

[983] And I was like, oh, yeah, that's me. I will never not feel like the poor kid.

[984] Homie, never.

[985] It's a sickness.

[986] No, it is.

[987] It's where I learned in therapy.

[988] And this is where I had to always, always.

[989] lead with gratitude, because it helps me not to go down when I think poverty, like, oh, no, it's going to happen again.

[990] I think, look how grateful I am to be in this place because I'm not where I used to be.

[991] I'm like, everything is a blessing.

[992] And look how great this is, instead of looking at it like, oh, no, I might lose it all.

[993] I might lose this.

[994] It's too good.

[995] Yes, it's too good.

[996] Because what happens is if you think things are too good, you're going to be like, I'm going to fuck it up.

[997] I'm going to drop the ball.

[998] Yes.

[999] That pressure, it was making me a bad dad.

[1000] It was making me a bad husband.

[1001] My wife, man, I tell her, I was like, how did you put up with me?

[1002] It's because you're so good and bad.

[1003] I asked her.

[1004] Hey, wait, I know for a fact, that wasn't it.

[1005] As of yesterday, she's like, I'm all buddy.

[1006] What's happening here?

[1007] I'm finally ready.

[1008] And you're no longer, okay, let's try this.

[1009] But what it was so wild is that she just believed in me. She told me one day, she said, you're like a lion with a. a thorn in his paw.

[1010] And I knew that's what you were.

[1011] And so I treated you like that because you were and it was like, come here, come here, come here, come here, her.

[1012] Her whole job was like every day to pull this thorn out.

[1013] Because I always had something sticking in my back.

[1014] And you try to be normal and nice and everything.

[1015] But I would be angry.

[1016] I would go off.

[1017] And you talk very, very forthwith about your addiction.

[1018] I was addicted to pornography.

[1019] Yes.

[1020] And you know, I listened to you, talk about it today in preparation for this.

[1021] And it occurred to me that I haven't really, I know one person that had an addiction.

[1022] I don't really get into the weeds on it.

[1023] I don't think he wanted to.

[1024] But regardless, we had this great chef in who was a gambling addict.

[1025] And that was so fun for me, I hate to say.

[1026] It was fun for me to hear how it all works.

[1027] I mean, ultimately it's all the exact same thing.

[1028] And then hearing you talk about it, I was like, it's literally identical.

[1029] There's no difference.

[1030] You got to regulate this mess inside of you.

[1031] That's it.

[1032] Yeah, you got to soothe, you got to regulate, because sometimes I'll try to explain to people, the appeal of drugs for me isn't necessarily the high.

[1033] It's simply knowing how I'll feel.

[1034] I'd prefer to know how I'm going to feel than play the lottery.

[1035] And it goes back to the stepdad's.

[1036] If I play the lottery and I let fate decide how I'm going to feel, it can go really wrong.

[1037] So I better just pick, and I don't really care if it's worse, the knowing what it is.

[1038] You got to say, I've never taking drugs.

[1039] I've never been drunk in my life.

[1040] I don't drink.

[1041] But do?

[1042] Oh, my God.

[1043] When I opened up this chest of porn and I was like eight, I play the flute.

[1044] And I learned from my uncle who knew how to play the flute.

[1045] And he's a jazz guy, but he's also a porn guy.

[1046] And all those guys, he was smoke weed and do all that stuff.

[1047] And I went in that basement and this is a non -religious household.

[1048] And remember the zodiac symbols with all the sexual positions?

[1049] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[1050] Yeah, it was in a lot of trailers that I...

[1051] Kids' birthday parties.

[1052] They're like...

[1053] Yes.

[1054] And I couldn't keep my eyes off the freaking Zodiac thing because I'm like, look at these people.

[1055] I want to visit November.

[1056] That looks fun.

[1057] Aries looks like a good time.

[1058] That was a thing in Michigan.

[1059] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1060] And I remember pulling out all these porn being very religious.

[1061] No one talked to me about sex.

[1062] Yes.

[1063] No one.

[1064] My father, I've never, to this day, ever had a conversation about sex with him.

[1065] My mother, anytime it came up, she was like, you're trying to have sex?

[1066] I was like, no. Nope, nope, not at all.

[1067] I don't want sex.

[1068] It was a bad thing.

[1069] It was supposed to be, yeah.

[1070] But all of a sudden, when I opened up those bags, I was like, I forgot all the stress, all the problems, everything.

[1071] I went into another world.

[1072] I was, that's so beautiful.

[1073] It's so amazing.

[1074] And I didn't even know what it was.

[1075] Like, I didn't even know what sex was.

[1076] You're not even trying to jerk off or anything.

[1077] No, because I don't know how to do.

[1078] I don't know what this is.

[1079] It's just a great distraction from the other racket.

[1080] Oh, that's what everyone's talking about.

[1081] about and I was hooked.

[1082] It's funny because you mentioned Highway 23.

[1083] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1084] I remember going from Flint on 23.

[1085] There was a truck stop.

[1086] They had these little X -rated places.

[1087] Yeah, coin operated.

[1088] The little bookstores off the highway.

[1089] Oh, yeah.

[1090] And I remember to get away from Flint.

[1091] I would be like, oh, I'm going to go work out.

[1092] And then I would drive.

[1093] And they were shacks.

[1094] I can see all of them.

[1095] Adult sign.

[1096] And you go in there and it was the truckers.

[1097] The best of the best are in there.

[1098] Oh, my God.

[1099] The workers would look at me like, what that story.

[1100] You know, like, he was this black dude.

[1101] I was just going in and looking at porn, and it was a secret.

[1102] I would die before anybody knew.

[1103] I would lie straight out, but that also started guilt.

[1104] So I was walking around a human pile of guilt.

[1105] And so my wife would be like, so where were you?

[1106] What do you mean?

[1107] Why are you always checking where I am?

[1108] I mean, what?

[1109] Are you scared?

[1110] No, no. So I'd start an argument so she wouldn't ask more questions.

[1111] Poor woman.

[1112] She just, whoa, I'm trying to check in with you.

[1113] It was horrible.

[1114] My kids, I would be angry at them from getting in the way.

[1115] And listen, it was magazines.

[1116] Then it was on the cable box.

[1117] I figured out how, as a kid, I had pouring in my house at high school because I would take the channel and move it in between and it would come in clear.

[1118] Escapade channel.

[1119] WKBD, maybe.

[1120] Yes.

[1121] Yeah, UHF 50 at 8 o 'clock at night.

[1122] It would be all waving, but that's good enough for me. But it's nothing.

[1123] I had subjects matters that were like, kidstuff, Cinderella, naked.

[1124] Snow White, naked.

[1125] You know, always fairy tales.

[1126] Look how subtle this stuff was and that got into my brain.

[1127] Well, here's where you and I differ, though, I will say, if we can dance for a second.

[1128] No, it's all right.

[1129] I'm an addict.

[1130] I misused all that stuff.

[1131] But because I did doesn't mean I think other people are going to or that they shouldn't have access to it.

[1132] I fucked up.

[1133] I'm regulating with this shit.

[1134] Plenty of people are doing it just fine.

[1135] I don't have any interest in getting rid of drugs or alcohol.

[1136] But you're kind of anti -porn now.

[1137] I don't think it should be banned.

[1138] I think that's a mistake.

[1139] Everything should be out in the open.

[1140] This is the problem I think, because I've seen also where liberals are becoming a new religion.

[1141] Oh, totally.

[1142] Where don't talk.

[1143] You can't let anybody talk.

[1144] I am not for banning anything.

[1145] I want that to be very, very clear.

[1146] That's clear.

[1147] Your slogan.

[1148] I'm trying to say, don't ban it.

[1149] But let me give you all the info first.

[1150] The truth about it.

[1151] See, that's the thing.

[1152] Now make your decision.

[1153] Yeah, exactly.

[1154] You see what I mean?

[1155] Now, now.

[1156] if you feel fine, cool.

[1157] But the thing is, there's a lot of things that Philip Morris didn't tell you about smoking.

[1158] They used to give out cigarettes at the Red Cross.

[1159] They'd be like, here's medicine, bandages, cigarettes.

[1160] Yeah, yeah.

[1161] The whole thing was to get you hooked.

[1162] I don't know anybody that was porn after 18.

[1163] They were always young.

[1164] Just look at what they're trying to do and then now make your decision.

[1165] And I'm saying if you can be up front with it, then cool.

[1166] Everything is on the sneak tip.

[1167] Dude, I get porn text to me. Mm, that's me, though, just fucking with you.

[1168] D .A. Oh, X, X, X, X, X, that's that.

[1169] Yeah.

[1170] Now I understand.

[1171] My thing is to let people know what it does.

[1172] You know what's interesting is we met in Austin.

[1173] Yeah.

[1174] Greatest place ever.

[1175] You and I are on the exact same ride because we've both just popped.

[1176] You and I had an enthusiasm for what was happening that I wish you could bottle.

[1177] But there were a couple things that I was like, what's Terry wrestling with?

[1178] Because you were reading a certain book I saw you were reading.

[1179] It was kind of like maybe on how to repair a marriage or how to be a good husband.

[1180] And I was like, oh, I wonder what's...

[1181] I was like, I see you at sea.

[1182] Yeah.

[1183] I had gotten sober for that.

[1184] Well, let me tell you this.

[1185] I went to the table read, supposed to be sober.

[1186] Then went out and did co. I had been trying to gain all that weight to play Frito.

[1187] Rip lines for three days lost like 14 pounds right before we started.

[1188] I did stay sober the whole movie.

[1189] But I'm like in the midst of trying to wrestle that thing to the ground.

[1190] And then I see, you read that.

[1191] this book.

[1192] And I'm like, okay, think maybe we're both kind of struggling a little bit.

[1193] Well, a lot of time in hotels alone, I would be on the porn channels.

[1194] And then I would feel super guilty.

[1195] And then I would read a bunch of self -help.

[1196] Okay, let me get back to even here.

[1197] Because I felt bad about myself all the time.

[1198] I am a failure in my head.

[1199] For both of us, probably, I'm just regularly checking in with how my mom would feel about all this.

[1200] Oh, my mom saw this whole thing.

[1201] My whole thing was, I didn't mess up with another one.

[1202] Right.

[1203] So I would justify it in some ways.

[1204] I'd be like, oh, well, you know, that's what men do.

[1205] Yeah, yeah.

[1206] I was told that, man, you can't be addicted to porn, man. It's just natural.

[1207] It's just who you are.

[1208] It's no big deal.

[1209] Your wife's got to understand that.

[1210] That you're just a man. And I thought about something.

[1211] Like, imagine if your wife was getting money from another guy.

[1212] And you found out, you'd be like, hey, honey, why are you getting money from?

[1213] What service are you providing?

[1214] We all need money.

[1215] We're women.

[1216] We all need money.

[1217] So, no big deal.

[1218] You'd be like, hey, but I'm there with that.

[1219] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1220] I can help you with that.

[1221] But see, that's what your woman feels.

[1222] It's like, wait, wait, sex, I'm here for that.

[1223] Right.

[1224] Hey, got you.

[1225] Now, if you agree together to go do something and watch something or whatever, that's fine.

[1226] But if I got to keep it a secret.

[1227] Yeah.

[1228] Well, and by the way, when I heard you talking about it and knowing that you would go from 10 a .m. to 11 p .m. Crazy.

[1229] When I just told you the 23 highway story, what are you doing out here?

[1230] Yeah.

[1231] Like to go that far?

[1232] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1233] Where are you going?

[1234] Yeah, yeah.

[1235] The whole ride home, you're in a shame spiral.

[1236] A shame spiral on the ride home.

[1237] What am I going to say?

[1238] Early in sobriety, I found it hard to transition.

[1239] I got really good at this extreme on both ends.

[1240] I fucking disappear for three days.

[1241] I come out of it.

[1242] I'm fucked.

[1243] I'm behind.

[1244] I have a test.

[1245] I have a term paper.

[1246] I have a sketch.

[1247] Now the catch up.

[1248] And now I'm a superhuman because I'm running.

[1249] and on shame.

[1250] If I drop the ball in these next four days, it proves that what I'm doing has to change.

[1251] So this weird energy source from it.

[1252] That's how I became overachiever.

[1253] That's how you get to the NFL.

[1254] Because that energy, it's like a bullet.

[1255] The comeback.

[1256] It's for your life.

[1257] Oh, my God, I got goosebumps.

[1258] You know, it's funny because I heard underachievement and overachievement is almost the same thing.

[1259] Under achievement makes you live under a bridge.

[1260] But overachievement, you live under a you own.

[1261] You know what I mean?

[1262] You do it all.

[1263] So I can hide under here.

[1264] And, you know, success is the warmest place to hide.

[1265] Yeah.

[1266] No one's going to ask you about your issues because you're successful.

[1267] It all works.

[1268] You are unstoppable.

[1269] And you are a mess inside.

[1270] You're a mess.

[1271] You've got to know.

[1272] I've seen it in entertainment and sports and everything.

[1273] And then they turn right around and commit suicide.

[1274] Oh, sure.

[1275] Yeah, yeah.

[1276] And you're like, but he had everything.

[1277] But dude, I know exactly what that is.

[1278] It's a treadmill.

[1279] You can't get off of.

[1280] And you get in this cyclical behavior working for the reward.

[1281] I got to buy this next experience by whatever thing it is.

[1282] For me, it was overachieving at school and at the ground lanes and everywhere else I could.

[1283] I call them Scooby Snacks.

[1284] Scooby Snacks.

[1285] You know what I mean?

[1286] But the concept of being good and doing good just for good sake, why?

[1287] What's the point?

[1288] Right, where's the reward?

[1289] The reason I say I love you is I can get some sex.

[1290] The reason I'm doing good things because what you're going to get me?

[1291] Yeah.

[1292] Everything becomes quid pro pro.

[1293] You're bartering with yourself at all times.

[1294] And let me tell you, I'm still figuring it out.

[1295] I'm 18, 19 years into this.

[1296] And I still, if something good happens, I'm in my most dangerous place.

[1297] I still have the hard, hardwiring of if something good happens, I deserve a reward.

[1298] And it's kind of brutal.

[1299] It's kind of rock star too.

[1300] because I remember, after I did white chicks, on that movie, everything went right.

[1301] I was goofing around, and it was, that's in!

[1302] I did that song in the car one time.

[1303] By the way, the whole trailer, I've never seen the movie, but that trailer was Terry Cruz.

[1304] It was my biggest hit, and it's the one that still, to this day, people were going back, and you got to understand, it was the best time of my life.

[1305] Like, everything I was doing was perfect.

[1306] You know the term is flow.

[1307] When you can't miss a shot, like Stephen Curry, it's like, everything's going in.

[1308] I was doing the Michael Jordan Shrug, like, hey, I don't know what to tell you.

[1309] I hate me, too.

[1310] I remember telling the Wands.

[1311] I'm like, yeah, man, I've stolen up for this movie.

[1312] And they were like, oh, you bastard.

[1313] And I was like, yeah.

[1314] And then I went home where you're not a hero.

[1315] My wife was like, you know, the garbage has been sitting there for like, I was like, oh, don't talk to me like that.

[1316] I'm a scene now.

[1317] No, you take the garbage out.

[1318] That's your job, right?

[1319] I was like, these damn kids, they're always bugging me. These are my loved ones, but I'm like, the way you're looking at me right now, you're really irritating me. Back on the set, I always looked at like, and I got a depression, a huge depression because it was so high.

[1320] And I was like, am I ever going to do that again?

[1321] It's got to match that, and there's no match.

[1322] And you sit there and you go, I got to be happy forever now, like with this?

[1323] Yeah.

[1324] How about I just relive that?

[1325] Well, it's very dangerous if you live in a fantasy, which we do, and that these things will result in elation and fulfillment and contentment.

[1326] The most dangerous thing is to go get those things because they don't result in any of that.

[1327] Between idiocracy and the next movie, I had every single thing.

[1328] Everyone at the airport recognized me. I was about to make a million dollars on a movie, which was unimaginable.

[1329] All of it, the whole list.

[1330] And I'm hiding in the corner of this bar in a San Francisco airport.

[1331] So no one sees me because I've already been to AA and I'm also going and doing Coke.

[1332] the bathroom and I also my heart palpitations and I'm like I think I want to kill myself because all the things that were supposed to fix me I've now got and now I'm really hopeless nothing can fix me I'm always going to feel like shit I know exactly that feeling because I was like I don't like my family yeah that's scary yeah wait that's dark yes throw me back into a self -help book because how can I love my family again and you're also you're becoming your father exactly And wait, and then you understand Hollywood does not care if you abandon your family.

[1333] In fact, we'll get you two more movies if you do.

[1334] We're not hiring you to be a good day.

[1335] You're like, great, now you're open for that 10 -episode series.

[1336] You won't mind shooting in New Zealand.

[1337] I saw how it happens.

[1338] I saw how people walk away from their kids.

[1339] I just remember my wife is very intuitive.

[1340] She knew the whole time, but would resist.

[1341] And that's the thing.

[1342] I was very successful.

[1343] Longass yard, everybody ate Chris.

[1344] I was doing TV.

[1345] I was making money.

[1346] Old Spice had hit, dude.

[1347] Oh, yeah.

[1348] You got to say, when I did Old Spice, at the time, actors weren't doing commercials.

[1349] My agent warned me, he's like, you're going to get a pigeonhole here.

[1350] I was like, I don't care, man. Let's go.

[1351] Did you see what they offer for me?

[1352] We changed the way commercials were for 10 years.

[1353] People were watching them as entertainment.

[1354] P &G was like, pow!

[1355] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1356] But I was going, uh -oh.

[1357] Now I'm back up.

[1358] It's his high.

[1359] And my wife was like, what's wrong with you?

[1360] Terry, there's something you ain't telling me. And I finally, I, the thing is, when I went on a binge, I went to a massage parlor in Vancouver and got a hand job and said, I'm going to my grave with this.

[1361] The secret, now it's super secret.

[1362] I said, I had cheated on my wife.

[1363] I was that dude, like, who officially stepped outside.

[1364] And I had never done that before.

[1365] I kept that secret for years.

[1366] Yeah, yeah.

[1367] But it affected her.

[1368] Like, she was going, something's up.

[1369] But I knew eventually that I was going to leave.

[1370] I already knew.

[1371] I just said it was just a matter of playing it out.

[1372] You can't be honest.

[1373] Nope.

[1374] That's not going to happen.

[1375] So let me be honest with a brand new person.

[1376] Right.

[1377] Let's start over.

[1378] Let me just erase that one.

[1379] I mean, I put it all down.

[1380] And I told it what I did.

[1381] I said, I got this hand job in Vancouver back on the first movie I did.

[1382] And she went, and I would never forget that gas.

[1383] I'll never forget like, what?

[1384] And what's crazy is that I'm thinking, hey, that was 10 years ago.

[1385] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1386] But for her, it was a second to go.

[1387] Right.

[1388] And she's like, get out.

[1389] I'm done.

[1390] Don't ever come home.

[1391] I'm good.

[1392] And that was the darkest.

[1393] Like, now I'm really alone.

[1394] Now I'm realizing I am all alone.

[1395] Here you go.

[1396] Yeah.

[1397] Which is really the ultimate goal of an addict, even though they don't know it.

[1398] You want to just be left alone with your addiction.

[1399] You don't want anyone around that can make you feel bad about it.

[1400] You just want to be married to that addiction.

[1401] That's good.

[1402] That is an observation that I just got today.

[1403] It takes everyone ultimately to a closet, whatever version of that closet.

[1404] I realized I didn't have a family anymore, and I was rich.

[1405] I was like, this is how Hollywood goes.

[1406] Now you get the second one, and now you go to the third and the fourth.

[1407] And I was like, what am I talking about?

[1408] Yeah.

[1409] And you hear yourself talking like that.

[1410] That's the Hollywood way.

[1411] But you don't even like them people.

[1412] Yeah.

[1413] And now you want to be like that?

[1414] And all of a sudden, I went, whole shit.

[1415] I don't want none of it.

[1416] I said, I want that.

[1417] And that was the first time.

[1418] I said, my family, my family.

[1419] That's it.

[1420] Like, this is what I want.

[1421] Because you play in games with yourself, but let them leave.

[1422] And she was gone, and I was like, no, she's going to come back.

[1423] No, she's really gone this time.

[1424] And then I realized, I got to get better for me. And that was the best advice I got from my friend.

[1425] He said, Terry, I can't tell you're going to get your wife and family back.

[1426] But you have to get better for you.

[1427] And I went, for me, but.

[1428] What about my Scooby Snacks?

[1429] Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1430] I do good things.

[1431] I'm going to get me, you know.

[1432] But no, now it's just being good for you.

[1433] So you don't hate yourself.

[1434] The reward is a lack of something, not something.

[1435] I went to sex addiction rehab.

[1436] Yeah, what is that?

[1437] I'm glad.

[1438] Was it impatient?

[1439] Inpatient.

[1440] And it was 12 hours a day.

[1441] And this is where sports people go who've gone through major stuff, pastors who fell, senators.

[1442] Any kind of sex scandal, these are the people.

[1443] And I went in there and I was like, this is not me. This is crazy.

[1444] And then they started reading my mail.

[1445] And they went like, was your dad, an alcoholic?

[1446] I was like, yeah.

[1447] Was your mom religious?

[1448] I was like, how did you know?

[1449] I just learned that.

[1450] Is that a, oh, I like that.

[1451] Oh, no, reading your mail.

[1452] Oh, they're just intuitively figuring you out.

[1453] Oh, totally.

[1454] Okay.

[1455] Because there's a profile.

[1456] There's things that have happened when I was going to check.

[1457] Yeah, then you find out your fucking generic as shit.

[1458] C cliche.

[1459] Yeah.

[1460] You thought you're easy to read.

[1461] Yeah.

[1462] I'm so complex.

[1463] You're like, I'm going to be the one to stump everybody.

[1464] You can't touch this.

[1465] And all of a sudden, they were like, whoop, who.

[1466] By the second day, I'm in tears.

[1467] I hadn't cried in 15 years.

[1468] After I left, I did the whole thing.

[1469] And eventually, my wife, we agreed to try again, which was really on a slow go.

[1470] It was so wild because I'll never forget this.

[1471] The movie, Lean on Me, I was watching Lean on Me with Morgan Freeman.

[1472] And I could not stop crying.

[1473] I cried for three hours after the movie was over and I didn't understand because I was like he cares for those kids man he's locked the doors I was manifesting flint and everything I went through and he was like all of you are expigated get out you guys got to go and he was kicking out the bad and he was fighting I'm getting choked up now man he was fighting for those good kids that were trying to do it and I saw myself like that man And I literally looked at myself like a little kid.

[1474] Yeah.

[1475] And I could forgive myself.

[1476] And it was like, hey, man, you do the best you could.

[1477] Yeah.

[1478] Yeah.

[1479] Well, it's the Oprah book.

[1480] What happened to you?

[1481] Something happened to you.

[1482] What happened to you?

[1483] I couldn't stop crying.

[1484] Watching this movie and seeing Morgan care so much.

[1485] And I was like, that's what I want.

[1486] Like, I want somebody care that much.

[1487] And my wife just looked at me like, I don't know what's happening.

[1488] of you.

[1489] I like it.

[1490] She liked it, though, right?

[1491] No, she said, I like it.

[1492] I'm here for it.

[1493] And she's like, Terry, I'm with you.

[1494] And that was in 2010.

[1495] And, you know, we're going on 13 years.

[1496] And when I look at the patience, she showed me, because she was never about Hollywood, never about football, never by, she was just about me. Even when we moved out to L .A., I'll never forget, because I was trying to get behind the scenes.

[1497] I wasn't even trying to act.

[1498] And she said, how long we have to be here before I know that it's time for us to go or we go back home or whatever.

[1499] I said, honey, we're never leaving.

[1500] The doors is locked.

[1501] Yeah, I was like, I was like, take the lotion and rub it on your body.

[1502] You can check out of here.

[1503] So I told her, I said, I don't care if we're 99 years old.

[1504] Then it works.

[1505] It'll be worth it.

[1506] I promise you.

[1507] And she said, all I need to know.

[1508] And to have that person who cares about you more than anything, I didn't think I was worthy of that.

[1509] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1510] We're skating past the most profound moment, which is you spend your entire life building an identity of indomitable strength, and then you find out the most attractive piece of you is the scared vulnerable person.

[1511] That's a shattering of everything you've believed as well.

[1512] And when you get a taste of that and the person doesn't run away, they don't call you weak and they don't call you all these things, that's the gift of a lifetime when someone rewards your vulnerability.

[1513] It's you.

[1514] We're all scared.

[1515] That's one reason why I talk about my issues because it keeps me there in this place of vulnerability.

[1516] I don't like when people are like, oh, you are the man. I'm like, uh.

[1517] But one, I can look at my wife and watch those eyes roll like, oh, you know, well, but the vulnerability, I want you to know me. The way Hollywood used to be was you had a fake family.

[1518] You have a set that would be a house.

[1519] You wouldn't even live there.

[1520] And they'll just make it for the magazines.

[1521] Your real life, no one was interested in it.

[1522] That stuff's dead.

[1523] Now people want to know who you are.

[1524] And if you're not willing to do that, I don't know if you're ready for the future.

[1525] This is one reason why I'm so proud of you, man, because you're, You share so much for so many people.

[1526] And all people want to know is that, wow, wait a minute, I'm not alone.

[1527] Yeah, totally.

[1528] That's the most comforting thing in the world.

[1529] Well, it's the isolation piece that makes it unbearable.

[1530] Yeah.

[1531] So if you know there's even just one other person.

[1532] Who feels the exact same way.

[1533] You don't feel fundamentally broken and flawed.

[1534] It's all good.

[1535] You attract now people you'd way rather be around.

[1536] Yes.

[1537] You know, the people I attract it when I'm doing wheelies and flip the, someone off.

[1538] I don't know.

[1539] It's fun for the weekend, but I don't know if that's who I really want at my dinner table.

[1540] When I got the job hosting and doing AGT and all this stuff, people were like, what are you doing?

[1541] But this is me because I hosted my high school talent show.

[1542] Remember, my mother wouldn't let me perform, and I got her.

[1543] I said, how about I host?

[1544] And she was like, go ahead.

[1545] I got about a loophole in the Bible.

[1546] I don't see anything about hosting.

[1547] And Jesus hosted.

[1548] Yeah, he hosted.

[1549] the dinner.

[1550] We don't know that he ate.

[1551] No, no. You turn the water into wine.

[1552] Yeah, he fed everyone.

[1553] And he was like, are y 'all good?

[1554] Okay.

[1555] He was the host.

[1556] That's right.

[1557] One thing I love is watching other people hit their dream.

[1558] It's more satisfying than when I got it.

[1559] Yes.

[1560] It sounds like, oh, yeah, sure.

[1561] They pay you a lot of money to be happy for the people.

[1562] But I would do AGT for free.

[1563] I swear to you right now, because I'm that kid who had big dreams like that, who wanted to make it.

[1564] And I see them coming in every time that new comedian or that new singer, that new dance person.

[1565] And they're coming from Wisconsin and Illinois.

[1566] And they're like, dude, I'm in LA and the lights are so big.

[1567] And I'm like, I remember that.

[1568] Yes, yes.

[1569] Well, that's what's interesting is you get disillusioned when you get your own fantasy.

[1570] But I can still experience it for other people.

[1571] Yes.

[1572] Similarly, I hosted this game show with this preposterously large wheel.

[1573] And people could win like significant money, like hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars.

[1574] When they win, it is.

[1575] You're so happy for them.

[1576] But I was also part when they would lose and you would like them so much and they fucked up.

[1577] I don't go back to my dressing room and be like, I don't want to do the third show.

[1578] But that's the same thing here.

[1579] They get four buzzers and they come back off the stage and I'm their counselor.

[1580] This helped me learn.

[1581] I said, listen, this is what entertainment is.

[1582] It's not the hit.

[1583] Yeah.

[1584] It's the failure.

[1585] I said, if you can't go through this, it's not for you.

[1586] You got a decision to make.

[1587] And I'll talk to these guys like this.

[1588] They don't air in a lot of it But I'm like, man, if you can't take the four buzzers And what's so wonderful That I see people who've gotten four buzzers And then they come back You're like, it's for you buddy Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll tell my kids If you want to be in this business You got to take this stuff, man This rejection is hard Yeah, you have a kid that's an actor Yes, he's an actor My 32 -year -old lives in New York Okay And she's performing But she does real acting Like plays and stuff Yeah, he's like, oh, you're peck -popping Oh, I'm like, and I paid for all your NYU And paid your tuition.

[1589] But she's just real acting.

[1590] Good for us.

[1591] And my son was on Nickelodeon for a couple years.

[1592] Oh, wonderful.

[1593] And he had a show, and now he's doing stuff.

[1594] But he's kind of growing up.

[1595] He'll be 18, not in the athletics, just a pure, funny performer.

[1596] But I took him to an improv thing, and I performed on, and I wanted him to see it.

[1597] Hey, man, somebody's jokes bombed, hard.

[1598] Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1599] And some of them hit.

[1600] I said, but you've got to risk it.

[1601] It's the failure.

[1602] That makes you who you are.

[1603] If everything happened great, it's the most boring book of all time.

[1604] Yeah.

[1605] Those victories just don't feel the way you think they're going to feel, really.

[1606] We know.

[1607] Yeah.

[1608] You're on year five of that, EGT?

[1609] And all the spinoffs.

[1610] And your endurance is golden.

[1611] What are you, 53 now?

[1612] I'll be 55.

[1613] I'll be 55 next month.

[1614] How's the workout going?

[1615] What do we do?

[1616] Look at those tears.

[1617] Oh, my God.

[1618] Let me tell you.

[1619] This is my fitness philosophy.

[1620] Tell it to me. My fitness philosophy is it.

[1621] be fun.

[1622] It's never punishment.

[1623] Discipline is not punishment.

[1624] A lot of people confuse the two.

[1625] Discipline is just training.

[1626] I have podcasts on.

[1627] I have books.

[1628] It's my spa time.

[1629] Yeah.

[1630] Are you still lifting a lot?

[1631] Oh, yeah.

[1632] I was deadlifting 500 pounds this morning.

[1633] Come on, baby.

[1634] I did some deadlifts today too.

[1635] You know, but this is the thing.

[1636] I'm smarter because there's a lot.

[1637] Because you watch the Ronnie Coleman documentary?

[1638] Yes.

[1639] I watch the American Gladiators dot.

[1640] Oh, I got to see that.

[1641] It just came out.

[1642] Oh.

[1643] I know a lot of them guys.

[1644] Yeah, yeah.

[1645] And you go, holy cow, they did it wrong.

[1646] Yeah, yeah.

[1647] Just a mess that Ronnie Coleman down.

[1648] All I know, there's a law of diminishing returns.

[1649] If you can't do three reps at the end, then don't do it.

[1650] Right.

[1651] The one rep max is ridiculous.

[1652] No, no, no. This is no point to it.

[1653] Now, I'm strong, but I'm also smarter.

[1654] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1655] And I realized I used to run on a treadmill 8 .0 for a half an hour of speed.

[1656] Now, I slow that shit down, dude.

[1657] And get your fitness another way because you're going to blow out.

[1658] Listen, you know about cars.

[1659] My thing is you take them to the top every time.

[1660] You're going to blow something.

[1661] And I treat myself like a Lamborghini.

[1662] And I go in there, it's like I go out to my gym and it's like tinkering with my this.

[1663] Tinkering with my biceps.

[1664] Let's oil this sucker.

[1665] And I warm up.

[1666] I get up super early.

[1667] The workout takes two and a half hour.

[1668] But remember, I'm relaxing most of the time.

[1669] Sure, sure.

[1670] I used to try to get it all done in 45 minutes, no matter what.

[1671] No challenge.

[1672] I love being by myself.

[1673] My kids, no, don't bother me during that time.

[1674] I said, don't bother me unless the house is on fire.

[1675] One time, my son said, Dad, I said, you interrupting me?

[1676] He said, the fire department's here.

[1677] I was like, you, I love you.

[1678] You got it right.

[1679] And no joke, the freaking alarm went off.

[1680] The fireman is right there.

[1681] I'm like, I told him not to bother me unless the house is on fire.

[1682] He's a good boy.

[1683] He said, Dad, I do good.

[1684] Have you watched the Arnold one?

[1685] I've been hearing nothing but great things.

[1686] Oh, my God.

[1687] You're going to love the Arnold one.

[1688] I can't wait to see it.

[1689] He's very fucking honest in it.

[1690] It's really admirable because he's the old guard.

[1691] He don't really have to.

[1692] He could just drift off and not ever confront at all.

[1693] No, no, no. But he does, and it's pretty incredible.

[1694] My first movie was with Arnold.

[1695] It was called The Six Day.

[1696] No kidding.

[1697] First movie I ever auditioned for.

[1698] Really?

[1699] This is why I went into a show.

[1700] shame spiral because I didn't deserve it.

[1701] I don't know how to act.

[1702] And I'm in this giant movie with Michael Rooker and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tony Goldwyn and there's Robert Duvall.

[1703] Yeah.

[1704] And I'm playing like a heavy, but I'm in the movie.

[1705] I'm in there for six months.

[1706] They were telling me, well, Terry, we're not going to use you for three weeks.

[1707] You can go back to L .A. I'm like, no, no, no. I'm going to stay here because I'm thinking they're going to cut me. Like in sports.

[1708] I stayed in the room for three weeks watching porn.

[1709] Yeah, yeah, of course.

[1710] And ended up in the massage parlor.

[1711] Yeah, yeah.

[1712] But Arnold, I was supposed to say, Adam Gibson, come with us.

[1713] And I walked up on the steps, and Arnold turned and looked at me, and I went, he took your brother back.

[1714] And I was like, oh, it's Coden.

[1715] It's Terminator.

[1716] Everything just went, shit the bit.

[1717] We get here.

[1718] Oh, sorry.

[1719] But something went wrong with the camera.

[1720] Oh, thank God.

[1721] And they never noticed.

[1722] They were like, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, let's stop.

[1723] Let's go back.

[1724] Give me five minutes.

[1725] I walked back up to the side.

[1726] I was like, dude, do you want to go back to nothing?

[1727] Yeah, say some terrible words.

[1728] Do you want to go back to Flint?

[1729] I was like, bro, do you understand, if you don't go up there and say this fucking line like you mean it?

[1730] Because I ain't going back.

[1731] Dude, I walked up the next day.

[1732] I was like, Adam Gibson, come with us.

[1733] And he was like, I like, I like, I like, I like, he's got a lot of spunkia.

[1734] Yeah, you're really good.

[1735] Was he generous to you?

[1736] He was really cool.

[1737] I was way down the roster.

[1738] But it was cool because when my family came up, he was ultra nice.

[1739] To introduce your wife to the biggest movie star in the world?

[1740] For sure.

[1741] Same thing with Stallone.

[1742] He was the same way when I did Expendables.

[1743] Well, that was my one question I wanted to ask about your acting career.

[1744] Was, what was the vibe like on that Expendable series?

[1745] It's like Alpha Galore.

[1746] But I know how to deal with.

[1747] Alphas because the NFL taught me how to deal with Alphas.

[1748] That makes sense.

[1749] It's all alphas in the NFL.

[1750] Yeah.

[1751] You know what I mean?

[1752] I call it jail with money.

[1753] You could put an NFL team in the jail.

[1754] They'll run it in a week.

[1755] Uh -huh.

[1756] You know what I mean?

[1757] Sit your ass down.

[1758] No, I said, sit your ass down.

[1759] That happened in the locker room.

[1760] Men are manipulated by pride.

[1761] Okay?

[1762] So it's like, so, hey, man, I bet you can do this.

[1763] I bet you I can.

[1764] And then you need a woman somewhere to be like, hey, none of that's really stupid.

[1765] We don't like that.

[1766] That's not making us horny.

[1767] You need a woman that kind of's like, yeah.

[1768] But if it's all male, they'll be doing something so insane.

[1769] You're like, how did we get here?

[1770] Yes.

[1771] So that's what Expendables was like.

[1772] There was a traffic jam in the parking lot from the SUVs.

[1773] Because, wait, it was only 20 steps to the set.

[1774] Oh, my God.

[1775] But everyone got in their own SUV.

[1776] Oh, my God.

[1777] Everyone's at peak physical fitness.

[1778] They can't walk to set.

[1779] But when you have seven people in SUVs, and no one had a spot because you couldn't do that if you gave someone a bigger spot just to get one shot off.

[1780] I bet, I bet.

[1781] What's ridiculous.

[1782] Did you guys all lift together?

[1783] No. No. That was all privately done.

[1784] Oh, my God, super private.

[1785] And it got more private as the movies went on.

[1786] Van Dam was on the second one, you know, Exhibitables 2.

[1787] And then by the third one, Harrison Ford was there.

[1788] It just was like, boom.

[1789] I said this before, but I had an issue because I remember being on set and I wasn't getting used.

[1790] And I felt like, when am I going to be Mr. Badass?

[1791] They were like, okay, just wait, wait.

[1792] And so I remember we were shooting in New Orleans and then we went to Brazil to shoot.

[1793] I only done like one scene.

[1794] And I was like, you know what?

[1795] I know what this is.

[1796] Now, I had a whole story, the black guy, they're going to put me in the back.

[1797] I'll probably die.

[1798] I don't know somewhere.

[1799] And I said, you guys see yourself as more valuable to me. Okay, I'm going to just say my lines and get out of here.

[1800] This is dumb.

[1801] And something hit me. First of all, you are from Flint.

[1802] You are not trained actor.

[1803] You didn't even take a freaking karate class.

[1804] You haven't opened up 12 movies in the 80s.

[1805] You know what's the number one at the box office?

[1806] Every last one of these guys, you bought tickets to see.

[1807] Yeah, yeah.

[1808] And you want to walk in here?

[1809] Like, what are you doing?

[1810] Yeah.

[1811] And I realized.

[1812] This is where I've seen, especially comedic actors, it switches to cynicism.

[1813] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1814] You go to the most logical explanation that's also coupled with the story you have about your life and everyone on Planned Earth.

[1815] It makes a lot of sense.

[1816] It makes tons of sense.

[1817] And first of all, you ain't wrong.

[1818] There's proof.

[1819] I'm not making that shit up.

[1820] But then I said, wait a minute.

[1821] Change your attitude.

[1822] Go on set, and if they give you two lines, say it with all your heart.

[1823] Now, this is stuff I had to tell myself because I didn't feel it.

[1824] Feelings follow decisions, not the other way around.

[1825] You have to decide to love your wife, and your feelings will come.

[1826] Act your way into thinking differently.

[1827] This is where you're always wrong, because you feel love, and then all of a sudden, you don't, and then it's a rap.

[1828] So I went on that set, and they gave me a couple of lines, and I was like, I'm going to say this, everything.

[1829] And then I started ad -libbing, and Sly was like, I like that, man. Sly wants to be a comedian.

[1830] Of course, yeah, yeah.

[1831] But he's like, they won't believe me. They used to me shooting people and killing people.

[1832] So I'm going to give you the funny lines.

[1833] And I was like, yeah, cool.

[1834] Just because of this attitude switch, because people can feel your vibe.

[1835] Yeah.

[1836] If your vibe is accepting and warm, they go, oh.

[1837] But if you're like, fuck y 'all, and you're still saying things, they'd feel that too.

[1838] Yeah.

[1839] You're not hiding shit.

[1840] You're not that good an actor.

[1841] No, everyone knows how everyone feels pretty much.

[1842] I've got to say I'm super sympathetic and empathetic and compassionate to that exact situation you're described.

[1843] Well, I'm fucking white trash.

[1844] Everyone thinks I'm low rent.

[1845] I was dyslexic and I'm stupid.

[1846] Everything fits into that thing.

[1847] Those aren't even really good ones.

[1848] That probably isn't happening.

[1849] But if you're black or you're female, I don't know how you figure that out.

[1850] I have like deep empathy.

[1851] Like whether it's really happening that way or not.

[1852] An example I can give you is I had a good friend.

[1853] We were compadres.

[1854] We were at the same level.

[1855] We came off with something.

[1856] We ended up having different opportunities.

[1857] And I know his explanation.

[1858] He told it to me. It's because he was black.

[1859] And I was like, Yeah, but you're also, you're not in any classes.

[1860] You're not doing improv.

[1861] There's other stuff.

[1862] That's one isolated case.

[1863] And I just saw for him, that is probably some percentage of this.

[1864] But also, you also recognize I'm doing other stuff.

[1865] Yep.

[1866] But I was very, because it's so real also.

[1867] And I don't know how you navigate that.

[1868] See, I think that's a brilliant observation because what I had to do was start asking myself the other questions.

[1869] Because yes, racism is here.

[1870] Oh, yes.

[1871] Yes.

[1872] But am I doing it?

[1873] everything I need to do.

[1874] And if the answer is no, all that's got to be checked off.

[1875] And that's the problem because it's too easy to start there.

[1876] And you ain't checked none of the other stuff.

[1877] Listen, I got kids.

[1878] Kids, they give me nothing excuses about why they ain't done it.

[1879] Everything's stacked against you.

[1880] I said, dude, your daddy's rich.

[1881] Yeah, yeah.

[1882] What are you talking about?

[1883] I got family.

[1884] Man, if I had what you had, I'm like, wait, first of all, if you give me a good idea, I'll give you the money.

[1885] Right.

[1886] But you ain't came up with no ideas.

[1887] You just want cash.

[1888] See, that's the thing.

[1889] And they got an excuse for everything.

[1890] Well, I wish I was as telling it as you.

[1891] Well, why don't you just come up with something?

[1892] Why don't you just do what you're supposed to do?

[1893] But see, that comes off very, very like, oh, he wants to put his head in the sand because he got around them white people.

[1894] And I'm going, yo, man, whatever you say, whatever you do, this is why I discovered, work on me. Well, you're the only variable in any.

[1895] situation you're going to change.

[1896] I can't do anything about anybody else.

[1897] What am I to do?

[1898] Force my will on you.

[1899] That's like a warlock action.

[1900] I'm also crazy, sympathetic.

[1901] I don't know how I, it would be a hard one for me to know what's actually happening here.

[1902] Do I need to work harder?

[1903] Do I need to get better?

[1904] Or is this just, this thing's so stacked against me. Is this a waste of my time?

[1905] It is hard.

[1906] This is why I think women are smarter.

[1907] Guys, we push our way through everything.

[1908] A guy will run a business because I got the biggest bench press.

[1909] You're like, yeah, but You don't know anything about inventory or, nope, I got the bench press, so I run the business.

[1910] Yes.

[1911] But women, they think their way through situations.

[1912] And so they're smarter because of that.

[1913] When you're a powerful woman, imagine what you had to do to get to that spot.

[1914] It's a 10x achievement because you go, hey, man, yeah, I'm black, but I'm still a dude.

[1915] Oh, yeah, and you're six to.

[1916] Right.

[1917] And I have white people are like, hey, you can go, my man. You know, you can because how big I am or whatever.

[1918] I can still push my way through.

[1919] things.

[1920] My first realization was, you know, I hear white privilege.

[1921] I'm like, I don't know how privilege you think my situation was.

[1922] You know, I got defensive.

[1923] That was my thought.

[1924] Right.

[1925] Luckily, I'm a drug addict.

[1926] So I remember, I've not been to prison and I carry drugs all the time.

[1927] And I got pulled over all the time.

[1928] And I realize, no, thousand percent, you're black, you're in prison.

[1929] That became very obvious to me. And that doesn't feel too bad to admit.

[1930] I admit that, right?

[1931] And then it's like, yeah, you're six too, man. It has this fucking weird power.

[1932] And I'm moving through life and it's only been this way.

[1933] So I don't even, I don't even.

[1934] aware of it.

[1935] You just keep going down and listen.

[1936] I'm like, no, I got a lot of shit going for me. But I'm going to hit you another one, Dax.

[1937] This is crazy.

[1938] People haven't traveled enough.

[1939] You got American privilege.

[1940] Oh, word.

[1941] Wait, wait.

[1942] Look, me. You were born in America.

[1943] Hold up.

[1944] I've been to Africa.

[1945] This dude left his kids and fed him dog food.

[1946] This is real.

[1947] Most of the world is cooking on a hot plate.

[1948] They don't have a kitchen.

[1949] No. They don't have air conditioning.

[1950] They don't have clean water.

[1951] Only less than 5 % of the human population have vehicles.

[1952] That's nice.

[1953] I mean, come on with the fact that you got in a car.

[1954] But see, you can play it at infinitum.

[1955] It's a game that just keeps going.

[1956] Yeah, you'll always find.

[1957] We all have it.

[1958] But to your point, when you said, I don't know how I would be able to handle figuring out whether it's this or whether it's just something I could be doing, I think if you're in any, what we'd call marginalized group, if you're powering through, you just realize it is always a fact.

[1959] factor.

[1960] Racism is a factor.

[1961] Misogyny is a factor.

[1962] These are things I'm going to butt up against, but I can't let that be the reason I take myself out.

[1963] You just say, okay, here it is.

[1964] I see it here, I see it here, I see it here, and I'm going to figure out how to weave through.

[1965] Otherwise, you just won't.

[1966] It is everywhere.

[1967] That is brilliant because I bought a hundred year old house that I live in, built in 1920.

[1968] And when it was built, there's no way I could have lived in it.

[1969] Yeah, exactly.

[1970] Oh, and I bought it for that reason.

[1971] Yeah.

[1972] Because I got to do it for the people who couldn't.

[1973] I'm doing it because there's no way my grandfather or great -grandfather would have been allowed in this room that I'm in right now.

[1974] So look at this as an opportunity.

[1975] Hopefully, my kids all the way down and their kids will be like back in 2023, we're doing stuff you could never do.

[1976] It's all about that raising of expectations.

[1977] Your kids now expect this.

[1978] My fucking kids have a swimming pool in the yard.

[1979] I'm like, they think houses should have swimming pools.

[1980] There are perks in Flint.

[1981] No. Didn't look this good.

[1982] So, yeah.

[1983] Now just that's the expectation.

[1984] Or it's a possibility at least.

[1985] Yeah.

[1986] People will tell you it's impossible.

[1987] Every theory is true until you proven it wrong or right.

[1988] Then it's not theory anymore.

[1989] You're either a king or fool at some time in your life where you're, You're a fool because you work your way into something and then you mess it all up.

[1990] And then you have a table full of excuses as to why you messed it all up.

[1991] That table goes forever and it's all legitimate.

[1992] I was born here.

[1993] I was this.

[1994] I was that.

[1995] And you could just pick from that plate and live at that table, but you're still a fool at that table.

[1996] But the king says, I'm responsible for everything in my circle.

[1997] So he gets rid of all the excuses and says, now I get to say, what comes in and what comes out.

[1998] You can't blame your parents anymore.

[1999] Yeah, it happened, but you are responsible for what happens today.

[2000] This dude, you should follow him on Instagram.

[2001] You would love him.

[2002] His name's Lane Norton.

[2003] His handles BioLaine.

[2004] He's a nutritional scientist.

[2005] He's also a world record power lifter, all natural his whole career.

[2006] But he was in here and he said, it is true that so many people's weight issues are not their fault.

[2007] You have this situation.

[2008] We know you're 70 %.

[2009] more likely.

[2010] It is not your fault.

[2011] But unfortunately, it is your responsibility.

[2012] Wow.

[2013] And I'm like, wow, that's pretty much could sum up life in general.

[2014] Shit might not be your fault, but sadly, it is your responsibility because ain't no one going to knock on your tour coming here and solve your shit for you.

[2015] Not.

[2016] I'll never forget, there were ideas I had with people that were back in Michigan.

[2017] You know, again, they sued me for it.

[2018] Yeah.

[2019] But I went.

[2020] You stayed.

[2021] Me and my wife got in the truck, loaded everything up.

[2022] No one knocked on your door.

[2023] We drove the whole way from Michigan.

[2024] All the way out to Los Angeles, California, didn't know anybody.

[2025] High degree of failure ahead of you.

[2026] Oh, my God, didn't know any.

[2027] But stayed in this month -long hotel.

[2028] Our first place we were in, we caught our landlord coming out of our place.

[2029] She was rummaging around in our goods.

[2030] You're like, you can't do that.

[2031] She said, oh, okay, I've evicked you now.

[2032] We went through hell.

[2033] Yeah, yeah.

[2034] And they sue you because you went out and you went for it.

[2035] My mother made, I think, the most genius comment to me. I was talking to her, I don't know, a decade ago.

[2036] I think I was complaining to her that someone else had asked me for money.

[2037] And she said, well, sweetie, in life, you can either be the person asking for help or the person getting asked for help.

[2038] So what would you rather have?

[2039] And I was like, oh, God, yeah, that's right.

[2040] No matter what it comes with, I'd rather be here.

[2041] And I was like, oh, that's so clean.

[2042] That's real.

[2043] And I want to be the guy getting called.

[2044] I definitely say.

[2045] I want to be the guy getting sued, not suing.

[2046] My best friend in L .A. sued me. Yeah, I've been there.

[2047] Oh, dude, come on.

[2048] You get that letter?

[2049] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2050] That's a whole perspective change.

[2051] First of all, you ain't made it until it happened.

[2052] That's what he said, actually.

[2053] He called me, because I got good news and bad news.

[2054] The good news is you've officially made it.

[2055] Bad news as you're getting sued.

[2056] I was like, oh, that's great.

[2057] You know, it's so funny because in America, you don't know what's going to happen.

[2058] Anything can happen.

[2059] Through hook or crook.

[2060] Yeah, when you get lawsuits on, oh, it could be ugly.

[2061] Well, Taryn, I am so delighted that you and I met.

[2062] It'll be 20 years we've known each other.

[2063] We've survived.

[2064] Dude, I love you, man. Forget whatever the heights and the dips.

[2065] Like, we're still here.

[2066] I've been so happy watching you for the last 19 years since I met you.

[2067] I mean, just always so happy to see you're doing so well.

[2068] I remember when you and your wife were dating.

[2069] And we bumped into each other in Vegas that time.

[2070] Remember that?

[2071] I was like, what does she see in him?

[2072] Yes, I know.

[2073] You and America.

[2074] I was going.

[2075] But we just held hands up together, and now you know.

[2076] Dude, first of all, you guys are the most beautiful couple, the most beautiful family.

[2077] Thank you.

[2078] I can't be more proud.

[2079] This is why we got to live long enough.

[2080] People call winners way too early.

[2081] Yeah.

[2082] That's the last thing I think I was going to maybe touch on.

[2083] Life's Long, 2010 was 13 years ago.

[2084] Things are good.

[2085] But things go bad.

[2086] I found it was a little dangerous to be feeling post any of it.

[2087] I'm not fixed.

[2088] Oh, no, no. understand.

[2089] But for me, identity change is the north star of habit change.

[2090] I had to be like, I'm not that anymore.

[2091] So that helps my habits.

[2092] I'm not going to say that porn doesn't come up and then it's all of a sudden, well, okay, but I treat it differently.

[2093] It's like, okay, I'm not addicted to that.

[2094] Right.

[2095] I could fall tomorrow.

[2096] Yeah, same.

[2097] That two hours in the gym is all about preparing me for the day.

[2098] Play it out before you get to it so that you don't slip.

[2099] So that that that wink from that girl doesn't all of a sudden catch you by surprise or this is what I'm going to do if this happens.

[2100] I write a bunch of choices down instead of watching porn, this is how I got so much done.

[2101] I mean, I got furniture design.

[2102] I got seven shows and I was getting it done because I was writing down what else I can do, write that movie, write that idea, who cares if it ever comes out?

[2103] And I started a company called Super Serious where we're doing ads now.

[2104] I know I saw that.

[2105] And you're with a guy that you had done the old spice stuff with right exactly yeah that's great super serious it's just the name of it i love it so good picture of you guys looking ridiculous it's super serious we have a friend who this just reminded me we have a friend who just did hypnosis and she was saying that there's like a mantra you do in it that's i used to do that i don't do that anymore never again that is it encapsulated and it keeps you now yes i have a hard time with never again you know It's what cements that...

[2106] It's a decision.

[2107] Yes, I'm deciding never again in conjunction with I don't do that anymore.

[2108] Right.

[2109] You know?

[2110] No, I like it.

[2111] I like it.

[2112] I'm just being honest about where it breaks down for me. Because I still have a fantasy being 75.

[2113] I'm in a retirement community.

[2114] I only drive it to golf cart.

[2115] My dick doesn't work.

[2116] There's no reason I can't be drunk.

[2117] What are what trouble am I going to get into on my golf cart with a flaccid penis?

[2118] Maybe you take out the never again for you.

[2119] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2120] You just stop it at it.

[2121] I don't do that anymore.

[2122] Terry, I love you.

[2123] I'm so glad you find.

[2124] came in.

[2125] This has been a blast.

[2126] And I hope everybody watches the many, many versions of America's Got Talent that you host.

[2127] Also, you've got a couple of great books that are loved by everybody.

[2128] I hope people check those out.

[2129] Manhood, how to be a better man, or just live with one.

[2130] And then tough my journey to true power, which we talked a ton about that, masculinity, what it means to be strong, all of it.

[2131] Also, President Camacho is running again for president.

[2132] His slogan is back foe mo. Yes.

[2133] 2024.

[2134] That was incredible.

[2135] South by Southwest.

[2136] Was Mike a part of that at all?

[2137] Yes.

[2138] He was.

[2139] Mike was part of it.

[2140] Oh, that's wonderful.

[2141] That's what made it.

[2142] I wouldn't have done it.

[2143] I'd be honest with you.

[2144] We were in Austin, South by Southwest, we brought Camacho back.

[2145] Where'd the outfit come from?

[2146] I got it made.

[2147] Remade it.

[2148] Oh, no. You got to stand it.

[2149] I love Camacho.

[2150] Oh, okay.

[2151] Yeah.

[2152] You know, the hope is to get a movie.

[2153] It's to bring something and I would love if we could kind of play around one day.

[2154] I'm free to on here all the time.

[2155] Yeah.

[2156] She's not on here.

[2157] appearances on this program.

[2158] That's the thing.

[2159] We need Frito.

[2160] President Camacho's awesome.

[2161] He's seen as busted muscles and his pecks horse.

[2162] He's got huge rods.

[2163] I got my vote going for him.

[2164] Time Magazine called me when Hillary lost.

[2165] We predicted a lot.

[2166] It's still going.

[2167] I'm sure it's the same gift for you as it is for me. It is.

[2168] No one ever saw it.

[2169] And then it just increased, increased.

[2170] This proves that everything's worth doing.

[2171] Yeah.

[2172] All right.

[2173] I love you, man. Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

[2174] Hi.

[2175] Hi, just before we hit record, you were telling me that they're about to start putting casons in.

[2176] At my house.

[2177] Yes, what could be more exciting?

[2178] Have you been stopping by a lot to see what kind of progress has happened?

[2179] Not a ton, but every now and then I'll stop by.

[2180] I think I'm going to start randomly posting little videos.

[2181] Uh -huh.

[2182] Of the progress.

[2183] Yeah.

[2184] That sounds fun.

[2185] Yeah.

[2186] Kind of keep people abreast.

[2187] Mm -hmm.

[2188] It's pretty exciting.

[2189] Yeah.

[2190] Oh, my God.

[2191] I mean, the fact that you've had that place for three years and still live an apartment and that you're going to have a yard and stuff, I can't imagine how excited you are.

[2192] I am.

[2193] It feels more and more real, but.

[2194] Still not very real.

[2195] Yeah.

[2196] Yeah.

[2197] That makes sense.

[2198] I think I might have to be in there before it really feels.

[2199] for a few minutes six or seven minutes you're gonna be able to park directly in front of your door walk right in that i'm so excited about yeah you don't have to pull into like a super tight little parking garage down a super skinny alley with looming threats in every direction i notice it so much when i'm packing to go somewhere or like if i'm going camping that one time i went camping i really noticed it because you have to do so many trips you have to take the cooler and then take the other food.

[2200] And it's such a far walk when the car isn't right in front.

[2201] Yes.

[2202] That's all in the past now, though.

[2203] Well, we have another year and a half of that.

[2204] Your camping trip in 2025 will be very easy.

[2205] Yeah.

[2206] So that's exciting.

[2207] So stuff's happening over there.

[2208] Oh, my God.

[2209] Okay.

[2210] So I don't know.

[2211] Okay, a few summers ago, like a lot of summers ago, maybe eight or seven.

[2212] I don't remember where Kristen was.

[2213] All right.

[2214] She was out of town.

[2215] Okay.

[2216] Me, you and Jess hung out every day.

[2217] We played Catan every day.

[2218] Do you remember this?

[2219] We called it camp.

[2220] That was like six, seven years ago.

[2221] Yeah, that's when Kristen did the movie in Florida and was trapped by the hurricane.

[2222] Right.

[2223] Okay.

[2224] Yes.

[2225] We called a camp.

[2226] We hung out every day, and it was super fun.

[2227] We played settlers at Catan a lot.

[2228] A lot.

[2229] That was that phase.

[2230] Hundreds of rounds of settlers.

[2231] And we watched TV, and we had a grand old time.

[2232] And it was camp.

[2233] And I feel these couple weeks have had a little bit of that vibe.

[2234] Oh, really?

[2235] Yeah, which is nice and fun.

[2236] And you don't get it every summer.

[2237] You don't get camp every summer.

[2238] It's like, as we said, that was six or six.

[2239] seven years ago.

[2240] It's like a common, like Haley's common or something.

[2241] It blows through every, you know.

[2242] Exactly.

[2243] Maybe it's linked to El Nino years.

[2244] We should look at what the last El Nino was during the last camp.

[2245] Wow.

[2246] Maybe.

[2247] Yeah.

[2248] So mainly me and Anna and Jess, but he's not a bail every, every day.

[2249] Right.

[2250] But Anna is.

[2251] Yeah.

[2252] And this camp is hosted by Kara, the Kara Hotel.

[2253] Yeah, we love it.

[2254] We love it so much.

[2255] Oh, my God, we've gone every day.

[2256] Really?

[2257] Yes.

[2258] Do you drink in the bar or do you sit by the outdoor European?

[2259] We've done both.

[2260] Both are European.

[2261] The bar also feels very European, European hotel bar.

[2262] Oh, okay.

[2263] And also we've done the outside part two.

[2264] It's just so hot here.

[2265] So it's hard to kind of be out there for too long.

[2266] But we've just gone every day.

[2267] It's embarrassing at this point.

[2268] When I walk in, I'm like, oh, Lord.

[2269] And like the valets now know us.

[2270] Oh, that's great, though.

[2271] And do you get the same thing every time?

[2272] No, mix it up.

[2273] Are you guys always eating?

[2274] Are you mostly going just a drink?

[2275] It's both.

[2276] Mix match.

[2277] Oh, it's been so fun.

[2278] You know what I like most about that place is the clientele is so confusing to me. You do not feel like you're in Los Felis.

[2279] You're like, where are these people?

[2280] from everyone it's a totally unique gathering of folks oh that's interesting real eclectic i haven't noticed that yes pay attention it's very eclectic okay okay i will uh but yeah summer of kara hosted by kara and you were going to tell me something specifically about kara or just that you love it and you're going every day yeah just that it's hosting our camp okay and it's nice because it's it's really close by yes it's really great.

[2281] And it's very unassuming.

[2282] From the street, you are not expecting what it is.

[2283] Well, let's be honest.

[2284] It was previously a cruising hotel.

[2285] It was a hotel people would get virtually by the hour.

[2286] It was to hook up.

[2287] It was a dive.

[2288] Shady, shady, shady.

[2289] Across street from a halfway house and next door to a weird sect of some religion.

[2290] It was a dicey little stretch, but they've cleaned that thing right up.

[2291] They really have.

[2292] It's like a rags to riches story.

[2293] It is.

[2294] Yeah, yeah.

[2295] American tale.

[2296] You're too young to have seen trading places with Eddie Murphy and, I don't know, someone else.

[2297] But there's a bet that they are going to - Sounds like you were too young.

[2298] You don't even remember.

[2299] Well, I just, when Eddie Murphy's in a movie, you're going to really remember him and then everyone else.

[2300] But these Wall Street guys made a bet that they could make anyone rich or whatever, and they found this homeless dude, which was Eddie Murphy.

[2301] Oh.

[2302] Yes.

[2303] And so, you know, it's rags to riches.

[2304] Oh, wow.

[2305] Does that hold up?

[2306] Does anything hold up?

[2307] We were just, so Kristen's college best friend, Ariel, Ash, who's an insanely beautiful designer.

[2308] So we've been hanging out with them because they live here, whatever, much of the year.

[2309] And Seth Myers is married to Ariel's sister.

[2310] So we've been around Seth a lot.

[2311] And yeah, we were going over just last night, like some sketches that have appeared on Saturday Night Live.

[2312] Someone was guesting and he thought, well, I'm just going to check out how that sketch went the last time we did a similar version.

[2313] Oh, geez.

[2314] Okay, it's even worse than I thought, you know.

[2315] And then we were just going through like, you know, we watched Ace Ventura with the kids while we were here, pet detective.

[2316] And you kind of forget that the whole third act is like one transphobic joke after another.

[2317] You're left in the situation to explain to the kids.

[2318] Like, yep, in the early 2000s or late 90s, this was the kind of joke that was prevalent.

[2319] but we don't make it anymore, blah, blah, I just caught it.

[2320] I don't ever watch Friends, but it was on the other day.

[2321] And Monica, is that her name?

[2322] She's in a fat suit.

[2323] And they're calling her fatty, fatty two by four and stuff.

[2324] I mean, they're letting it rip.

[2325] I know.

[2326] Yeah, most comedy, you know.

[2327] Yeah.

[2328] We were also just talking about this because did you, well, I can't believe I was about to ask you, did you watch this?

[2329] Obviously, you never watched Seventh Heaven.

[2330] Did not see Seventh Heaven.

[2331] This didn't make it to your TV.

[2332] I was obsessed with Seventh Heaven.

[2333] Jessica Beale, was she on that show?

[2334] She was, yeah.

[2335] It was on the WB, also known as CW.

[2336] I wanted that life.

[2337] All those siblings and wholesome white life.

[2338] Yeah, all the things I didn't have and wasn't.

[2339] I wanted that.

[2340] Yeah.

[2341] So I was obsessed with it.

[2342] And I guess now.

[2343] There's somebody, I'm not on TikTok, but somebody was telling me that there's this guy on TikTok who's re -watching Seventh Heaven.

[2344] And he's just like pulling pieces and talking about it.

[2345] And it is so outrageous how bad it is.

[2346] Give me an example.

[2347] Awful.

[2348] Okay.

[2349] So this was a ding, ding, ding to what we were just talking about.

[2350] So there's one episode where the young boy brings home a homeless.

[2351] girl, basically.

[2352] Okay.

[2353] And she, the way they've made her look.

[2354] The homeless girl?

[2355] Yes.

[2356] Uh -huh.

[2357] They just like, wetted her hair and basically put her in brown face.

[2358] Right.

[2359] Put motor oil all over her cheeks.

[2360] To make her look like dirty.

[2361] They just like put brown makeup all over her.

[2362] Yeah.

[2363] And she won't talk.

[2364] This girl won't talk.

[2365] And so she's like, can we keep her?

[2366] Like, can we keep this pet?

[2367] She's a stray dog.

[2368] Yeah.

[2369] Yes, and there's this scene where him and the other, like a little sister are fighting about who gets to keep her.

[2370] Uh -huh.

[2371] And then eventually her dad comes.

[2372] Her dad, they've also made look horrible.

[2373] And it's about alcoholism.

[2374] Oh.

[2375] She ends up talking and she says, my dad is sick and he has a drinking problem.

[2376] Yeah, I don't remember the word she used.

[2377] But anyway, it's all.

[2378] a disaster.

[2379] I mean, it's so bad.

[2380] And there's another episode where Jessica Beale's character has to steal this glass from a pizza restaurant or something, like from a restaurant.

[2381] Just like a drinking glass.

[2382] She has to steal it as part of her basketball team kind of hazing.

[2383] So she steals this glass.

[2384] The pastor dad finds it.

[2385] What is this?

[2386] Oh boy.

[2387] Okay.

[2388] It's so serious.

[2389] And the older brother takes the fall.

[2390] It says it was me. I did this.

[2391] Oh, that's nice.

[2392] And the dad says, you have to go to hell.

[2393] Take this back.

[2394] You're already going to hell, but you have to take this back.

[2395] And you have to apologize.

[2396] And he goes to the restaurant and says, I'm sorry, I took this glass.

[2397] And the guy presses charges.

[2398] Oh, okay.

[2399] They go to trial.

[2400] Oh, there's a trial.

[2401] Yes.

[2402] There's a trial, and then all of the basketball team starts, like, rushes into the courtroom and says, if you're going to arrest him, you have to arrest all of us.

[2403] The quintessential Donna Martin graduates scene.

[2404] Yes.

[2405] Yes, yes, yes.

[2406] Well, I was just, we were at Dunkin' Donuts on the way to the ferry.

[2407] We stopped, really to use the bathroom, but then we bought some stuff, so we didn't feel bad about using the bathroom.

[2408] And I was talking to the man behind the counter, and I was having a very hard time gauging his age.

[2409] But I assumed he was too young to have seen it.

[2410] Anyways, I was telling the guy the plot line of the toy.

[2411] It's a Richard Pryor movie.

[2412] And the premise is this spoiled rich kid goes to a huge toy store, like an F .A .O. Schwartz.

[2413] And he goes when it's closed because he's so rich.

[2414] And the dad's like some kind of commander or admiral.

[2415] I don't know.

[2416] He's got juice.

[2417] And Richard Pryor is there working the cleanup crew at night.

[2418] He's a janitor.

[2419] And he starts messing with this huge inflatable wheel that you can see.

[2420] standing and it'll roll with you in it.

[2421] And he takes that for a ride and then it pops.

[2422] And then he's trying to bring it back to life and he's giving it CPR and he's saying, don't die on me. And the little boy's watching all this.

[2423] And he didn't want any of the toys at the store.

[2424] And he says, I want that.

[2425] And then the helper goes like, oh, he wants that wheel.

[2426] Get him that wheel.

[2427] He goes, no, no, I want that man. So they buy Richard Pryor.

[2428] Yes, they do.

[2429] And Richard Pryor comes to live in the mansion.

[2430] And he's the boy's toy.

[2431] But of course, they become friends.

[2432] And he teaches them, you can't really treat friends this way.

[2433] And then the little boy goes and sees how Richard Pryor's living.

[2434] It's kind of a Savannah vibe, maybe where they're at.

[2435] Uh -huh.

[2436] Yeah, that's about right.

[2437] Yeah.

[2438] That was a totally fine movie for everyone to go enjoy in the 80s when I was a kid.

[2439] wow but also of course it's bad but it it almost seems like they were showing that that's bad like that this is the way a lot of people it's almost seems yeah i think they made an attempt at redemption right and and it turned out the little boy you started feeling bad for him he was spoiled but really he just he didn't have a mom and his dad was too busy working he just really needed a friend right right so you end up navigating through all these kind of nice But the premise and what gets you to the movie theater is that this rich white kid bought Richard Pryor for his amusement.

[2440] Oh, my God.

[2441] And people were like, oh, this is funny and great, not like, oh, my God.

[2442] Yeah, this is rough.

[2443] The world is so different.

[2444] It's almost unimaginable.

[2445] Yeah.

[2446] I don't feel like that big of a gap existed between the 80s and the 50s, but maybe the people that were raised in the 50s felt that way.

[2447] I don't think they were looking back with all this crazy shame because most of that content was like the cleaver.

[2448] You know, leave it to beaver and Mayberry and all these kind of like weirdly righteous shows.

[2449] So maybe they didn't have that.

[2450] But I don't know.

[2451] This feels like the biggest chasm between generations.

[2452] It might be.

[2453] I like that.

[2454] Again, suspicious that we live now.

[2455] Suspicious, Sammy.

[2456] Yeah.

[2457] Who's this for?

[2458] Terry Cruz.

[2459] Oh, boy.

[2460] What a party.

[2461] I enjoyed him a lot.

[2462] Yeah.

[2463] What a sweet, sweet, sweet boy.

[2464] Oh, trying to be big and strong this whole life.

[2465] I know.

[2466] But he's also so arty.

[2467] I did look at his art. Can you believe it?

[2468] Yeah, it's incredible.

[2469] Right after the interview, I found it on Instagram and I sent it to you.

[2470] I knew that you thought I was exaggerating.

[2471] There would be no way to believe that he's as good as he is.

[2472] I assume that he would be good based on what you said, He is a mate.

[2473] No, he's brilliant.

[2474] Yeah.

[2475] He's a better artist than he was a football player.

[2476] That's what's weird.

[2477] It is weird.

[2478] I wish you would do a drawing of us.

[2479] Well, you could probably commission him to for the right price.

[2480] Well, but I wish you would just do it as a friend.

[2481] Out of the kindness of his heart.

[2482] And give it to you or does you want a copy of it?

[2483] No, I want it.

[2484] Oh, you want the original hanging in.

[2485] Of course.

[2486] Of course I do.

[2487] Okay, I had screenshoted something to tell you.

[2488] And now I need to find it.

[2489] Oh, this is a picture of a dessert treat I found in my bed.

[2490] Oh, a little remnant.

[2491] Yeah, summer, you know, summer's getting out of hand.

[2492] A little dessert de bris.

[2493] What kind of dessert was that?

[2494] Some kind of meringue?

[2495] It is a lemon bar that Elizabeth lame of nobody's listening right, my favorite podcast.

[2496] She makes these lemon bars and she's known for them.

[2497] And I wanted them, just like I want a picture from dairy.

[2498] Yeah, yeah.

[2499] And she made them for me. She did.

[2500] How many?

[2501] A whole pan?

[2502] So this is a funny thing, right?

[2503] Okay.

[2504] So on their podcast, they had this fight about lemon bars because Andy gets mad when Elizabeth makes, she's, he thinks she only will make them for, if they're going to an event or something, if they're going to someone's house, she'll only make them then.

[2505] And she gives away so many.

[2506] And then there are enough for the family.

[2507] Yep.

[2508] And he's like, and you never just make them for us.

[2509] Yeah, this is a little bit like me and my spaghetti, to be honest.

[2510] You know, I always make it to impress people or when we're on a family trip or whatever.

[2511] But it doesn't get made around the house as much as it probably should.

[2512] That's true.

[2513] That's true.

[2514] But it would be like if Kristen kind of took offense to that.

[2515] Why don't you, why aren't you ever just making it for us?

[2516] Why does it always have to be for other people?

[2517] And then I only get one small bite.

[2518] Yeah.

[2519] I mean, that's actually how I feel about your spaghetti.

[2520] I am a little offended.

[2521] It's like, I'm not getting that enough.

[2522] Uh -huh.

[2523] Well, that's flattering.

[2524] Thank you.

[2525] You're welcome.

[2526] Anyway, so that's an ongoing thing with them.

[2527] And so when Elizabeth brought some lemon bars over, I was like, Andy, are you upset about this?

[2528] And he was like, no, no. And Elizabeth was like, yeah, we did get in a fight because this morning he wanted me to remove one of the lemon bars from the plate.

[2529] Oh, for him.

[2530] Well, of course he should have gotten that.

[2531] A third of them or even maybe half should have been for him.

[2532] Well, he didn't, she didn't give me all the lemon bars.

[2533] She gave me like five or six.

[2534] Oh, okay.

[2535] And, but she said they make like 30 or something.

[2536] So they had given some to people the night before.

[2537] So he's just slowly panicking, you know.

[2538] Yeah.

[2539] And I get it.

[2540] I get it.

[2541] Yep.

[2542] I would too.

[2543] I'd panic for sure.

[2544] Yeah.

[2545] Anyway, they're amazing.

[2546] They're incredible.

[2547] I get why he's stingy about them.

[2548] them and a little piece ended up in my bed.

[2549] You eat them at night in bed.

[2550] You try to have them in your bed?

[2551] I guess so.

[2552] I guess there's really no fighting that one.

[2553] I was like, why is my bed so sandy?

[2554] I was getting so confused.

[2555] Oh, speaking of which, your littlest buddy, I go to tuck in, well, oh, this is a crazy update.

[2556] I hear screaming two nights ago and it's Lincoln and she's running now from the bathroom into the kitchen where we all are.

[2557] And when she enters the kitchen, she has blood all over her mouth because this molar that was loose, she gave it a jerk and then I got halfway out and she was a little freaked out, right?

[2558] So she comes in the kitchen, there's blood, she's screaming.

[2559] Kristen grabs paper towel, plucks it right out, right?

[2560] Yeah.

[2561] Five minutes later, this is real.

[2562] Five minutes later, Dahlia comes in.

[2563] She goes, look, her molar fell out.

[2564] What?

[2565] Her muller fell out within five minutes of Lincoln's molar falling out, to which we thought, oh, my God, did someone put a spell on us and all of our teeth are going to fall out, like the ice cream shop we went to or something?

[2566] But at any rate, so because Lincoln had the molar lost, I last night, when I tucked her in, I slid some tooth fairy money under the pillow, right?

[2567] Sure.

[2568] When she wasn't paying attention.

[2569] And I was in her bed and I was snuggling her and I had slid that money.

[2570] And then I went over to deltas to give her snuggle before she went to sleep.

[2571] And it was like climbing onto the beach.

[2572] Oh.

[2573] Just as you'd expect.

[2574] Her mattress is 100 % sand.

[2575] Yeah.

[2576] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2577] That adds up.

[2578] Right?

[2579] That tracks.

[2580] And she doesn't even care.

[2581] I mean, she does, but not enough to change her behavior.

[2582] Well, that's true because she gets angry and sensitive to, like, bad textures and stuff.

[2583] That's right.

[2584] But she's not cleaning it up.

[2585] preemptively to prevent that she just doesn't like it but continues i can relate yeah i left that lemon bar very similar well you would have been great if you left it even after you photographed it i know like oh that's in there that'll eventually get ground up into a powder i don't need to worry about that i threw it out but there were remnants everywhere oh wow you had a real orgy with it i did i don't know this summer's been crazy yeah this camp oh my god speaking up i started a show.

[2586] Okay.

[2587] The tennis show on Netflix.

[2588] Oh, yeah.

[2589] Break point.

[2590] Yes.

[2591] I think it's got it's great, right?

[2592] I love it.

[2593] Yeah.

[2594] It's the same people that do Drive to Survive box to box.

[2595] I know.

[2596] But I was like, it's not going to be as good as Drive to Survive.

[2597] So, and I don't like, whatever, tennis.

[2598] It's ever been my thing.

[2599] Same.

[2600] But then when we were in Indio or wherever we were for Fourth of July, there was a tennis court there.

[2601] We were all playing tennis.

[2602] And it was so fun.

[2603] I was like, I really want to, I mean, this is when I do anything, right?

[2604] When I play trivia, I think, I got to go get some books on trivia.

[2605] I got to be good at this.

[2606] I want to be good at this.

[2607] Same with tennis.

[2608] I felt really bad.

[2609] Well, I was.

[2610] I'm not, I don't know how to play.

[2611] I want to learn.

[2612] I want to be good at it.

[2613] By watching the show.

[2614] Yeah, through osmosis.

[2615] No, I want to take lessons here.

[2616] Okay.

[2617] So anyway, all to say, it's just, oh, you're frozen.

[2618] Oh, no. Ugh.

[2619] You're still?

[2620] Yeah.

[2621] Okay.

[2622] You want to call me back?

[2623] Yeah.

[2624] Boy, we had a real challenge, didn't we, a technological challenge.

[2625] I hated that.

[2626] Yeah, me too.

[2627] Me too.

[2628] I did forget to tell you one thing.

[2629] Very fun surprise tomorrow for me. My boyfriend, Larry Trilling, and his wife, Jennifer, are coming to stay at the house.

[2630] house with us for a few days.

[2631] They happened to just be driving around the East Coast, and it turned out they were close enough to here to come stay.

[2632] That's very excited.

[2633] Oh, I can't wait.

[2634] Three days of chatting with Larry Treling.

[2635] Oh, my God.

[2636] You love that.

[2637] I love it.

[2638] Yeah.

[2639] Well, what else was I going to tell you about life?

[2640] About my life.

[2641] Are you going to watch Formula One this weekend?

[2642] Or did you?

[2643] I guess I didn't.

[2644] have to ask if you did watch Formula One.

[2645] I don't know.

[2646] I might have because.

[2647] Because Danny's back.

[2648] Exactly.

[2649] Danny's back.

[2650] Of course, I'm so thrilled about that.

[2651] Me too.

[2652] You know, I DMed him.

[2653] I'm so happy for you.

[2654] Congratulations.

[2655] Most deserved.

[2656] My text was, this news just cured my erectile dysfunction.

[2657] Wow.

[2658] Wow.

[2659] I went straight to it.

[2660] Really on brand.

[2661] Uh -huh.

[2662] Yeah, consistent.

[2663] Yeah, Danny's back.

[2664] And talk about an American tale rags to riches, not rages, riches to riches.

[2665] Riches to riches.

[2666] But really, I find his F1 journey so heartening and beautiful because if people don't know, he got let go.

[2667] What do they call it in F1 terms?

[2668] Yeah, let go, fired.

[2669] From McLaren.

[2670] From McLaren.

[2671] and it's still under contract.

[2672] So they're still paying him for this season.

[2673] And Red Bull is paying him as an alternative driver.

[2674] And now he's driving for Elf Atari.

[2675] I hope he picks up a third little revenue stream off of there.

[2676] Oh, my God.

[2677] Riches to riches.

[2678] Probably not.

[2679] So the interesting history of Ricardo is when he was a very junior driver, he was in the Red Bull Driving Academy.

[2680] And he was an alternative driver for Red Bull, waiting to get a ride with what was then called Torrosa, which became Alf Atari, and he got lent to this other team called Hispania Racing.

[2681] So midseason, that's how his career started.

[2682] He came in midseason on loan from Red Bull to another team, drove for six months, then ended up at Toroosa, then went up to Red Bull.

[2683] So it's really the most full circle journey imaginable, which is he's going to be back at Alfatari, which was Toroosa, and then with the shot of, who knows, maybe getting to Red Bull.

[2684] When he got let go from McLaren, there was a lot of chatter about like, yikes, like should he just be done?

[2685] Because he wanted to stay in the game.

[2686] Yes.

[2687] It was really very admirable that he decided to go back to Red Bull as like a, what, what?

[2688] It was he an alternate driver there?

[2689] Yeah, so, yeah.

[2690] And that played a role in him getting the seat, which is, by all accounts, the last season at McLaren was really miserable.

[2691] He did not perform.

[2692] People were like, what happened?

[2693] Just two years ago at, you know, Alpine or was then Renault, he was winning races, which they hadn't done in forever.

[2694] He was driving brilliantly at Renault, not good at McLaren.

[2695] So the British Grand Prix at Silverstone was two weekends ago.

[2696] And on the Monday after the race, they do a tire testing session.

[2697] And that's his job is to test the tires as the alternate driver.

[2698] So he gets in the real RB19 race car that was just raced in the race.

[2699] And they know his times.

[2700] And they just had pull times from two days before.

[2701] On the seventh lap, he had driven fast enough that he would have been on the front grid.

[2702] Of that previous weekend race, on lap 11, Helmut Marco, the leader of Red Bull, fired the other driver.

[2703] On lap 11.

[2704] Oh, my God.

[2705] So it was really a trial, like this bizarre trial, and he delivered, which is so encouraging and very exciting.

[2706] And I hope he's got the fire.

[2707] Me too.

[2708] I'm just so happy, so happy for him.

[2709] But to me, it's more of an overall tale of he was okay with being an alternate driver after many years of being.

[2710] A hot shop.

[2711] And he was just having fun with it.

[2712] He was posting social media.

[2713] He made the most of that.

[2714] Yes.

[2715] He had a great attitude being humbled.

[2716] Yes.

[2717] And then look where it got him.

[2718] Yes.

[2719] I love it.

[2720] I love him so much.

[2721] I love with him.

[2722] I am in love with him.

[2723] We're all love with him.

[2724] He knows.

[2725] knows that.

[2726] He feels it.

[2727] Yeah.

[2728] Let's get into some facts.

[2729] Okay, great.

[2730] Let's do it.

[2731] Okay.

[2732] So you mentioned that when you auditioned for idiocracy, a lot of people were auditioning for idiocracy as well.

[2733] And you found out that this comedian had auditioned and kind of shouted you out and said, this other guy got it.

[2734] Unsterned.

[2735] And you couldn't remember his name, but you said he stabbed himself.

[2736] Yeah.

[2737] That person is already laying.

[2738] Yep.

[2739] Artie Lang, who I like, by the way, he was great on Stern.

[2740] He had a horrendous heroin addiction.

[2741] He was juggling while being on the show.

[2742] And it's very heartbreaking.

[2743] Really sad.

[2744] His dad was a quadriplegic.

[2745] Mm -hmm.

[2746] Yeah.

[2747] Hard.

[2748] Also, when was social media invented?

[2749] Because Terry was sued for, like, social media and something 1995.

[2750] The first social media site was born 1997 on one of the first true social media sites, 6Degrees .com.

[2751] You could set up a profile page, create lists of connections, and send messages within networks.

[2752] The site amassed around 1 million users before being bought out for 125 million only to shutter in 2000.

[2753] Oh boy.

[2754] That happened a lot with those companies because also Fox Media had bought MySpace for 800 million, and then shortly thereafter it died.

[2755] And no one knew about the turnaround of these things at that point.

[2756] No, remember Yahoo was enormous.

[2757] All these different companies were huge, and then they just disappeared.

[2758] I know.

[2759] Ask Jeeves.

[2760] Yeah, ask them.

[2761] Did you use Ask Jeeves?

[2762] Never.

[2763] Was that the original AI?

[2764] It was just a search engine, right?

[2765] Yeah.

[2766] Yeah.

[2767] It's really weird how there's no kind, like, that seems to be one domain that once you win, you can't be unseated like Google no no search engines ever gonna right that's the only one I believe won't go away that's why I'm surprised you didn't because that was Google like that was what you used before Google yeah ask Jeeves ask them give an ask he'll tell you okay how much do people get paid working at McDonald's this is in L .A the low is 725 and the high is 3160.

[2768] 3160.

[2769] Is that for like a manager or who knows?

[2770] Okay.

[2771] It says approximately 1042 for a lead cashier, again in California, $29 per hour for a repair technician.

[2772] Hmm.

[2773] They can't have one on site all the time, can they?

[2774] A repair tech?

[2775] That person must float between McDonald's, no?

[2776] Well, there's different names first up.

[2777] Another thing is saying 11 $168 per hour for flight attendant.

[2778] Like, they call them names.

[2779] Oh, okay.

[2780] There's not a McDonald's airline, is there?

[2781] Because I need to be flying.

[2782] If they serve Big Macs and up in the sky?

[2783] $20 per hour for replenishment associate.

[2784] Okay.

[2785] What do we think that means?

[2786] Putting in the tanks of the Coke machine and the bags of mix for the milkshags?

[2787] Yeah, I think they're in charge of the replant.

[2788] I would like that's the job I would want I would not do well at interfacing with the public you'd be a bad flight attendant well if someone gave me a ton of attitude I just I can't control myself I would give it right back to him yeah I know so I feel like what's interesting is I would imagine replenish associate would I would imagine be less right because they don't have to interface with the public yeah but it's more and also we don't know what any of this means we don't but I imagine you're getting paid for some technical knowledge that takes a minute to learn.

[2789] Oh, true.

[2790] Okay, that's, that sounds right.

[2791] Now, you mentioned the Chris Rock special where you said, he said, I identify as broke.

[2792] Yes, that's his newest special for Netflix.

[2793] And he says, I identify as poor.

[2794] Oh, poor.

[2795] Okay, better.

[2796] I mean, same.

[2797] Tomato.

[2798] Wasn't my fave, but would still love to have him on.

[2799] He's brilliant.

[2800] But, uh, yeah.

[2801] I expected a more clever wraparound from that whole experience than he was an emasculated bitch.

[2802] I thought that was a little below him.

[2803] Yeah.

[2804] Yeah, I agree.

[2805] Okay, Terry said that less than 5 % of the human population has vehicles.

[2806] An estimated 18 % of the world's population own a car.

[2807] And it says, and it's likely even lower.

[2808] But this was in January of this year.

[2809] Okay.

[2810] So five seems probably a little.

[2811] too low?

[2812] Yeah, seems a little low to me. But, uh, and it's, it actually says the most recent U .S. Census survey found that 92 % of American households own at least one vehicle.

[2813] Yeah.

[2814] Some too.

[2815] That's America, though.

[2816] We have a high standard of living and we love our cars.

[2817] Yeah, those are my facts for Terry.

[2818] Oh, okay.

[2819] Well, did you enjoy listening back?

[2820] Yeah, I did.

[2821] I really, really like him.

[2822] He's so shiny and warm and feels inclusive and...

[2823] Oh, yeah, very inclusive and very lovable.

[2824] Mm -hmm.

[2825] We root for him.

[2826] Yeah, for sure.

[2827] His success makes me happy.

[2828] And he was so vulnerable and telling us that story.

[2829] Yeah.

[2830] He's very brave, too.

[2831] Yeah.

[2832] Yeah.

[2833] And mussely.

[2834] Very mussely.

[2835] So musseling.

[2836] He made his titty's bounce for you and you loved it.

[2837] Oh, yeah, that was fun.

[2838] Oh, yeah.

[2839] That's, you don't, I assume people gather that something happened there, but you don't know what it is.

[2840] Because we all laugh, but we don't say what just happened.

[2841] But yes, he like flexes his pecks.

[2842] Mm -hmm.

[2843] Oh, he makes them dance.

[2844] It's kind of like his, you know how Ryan does a backflip every few days?

[2845] That's, that's his signature move is making his titty's dance.

[2846] It's his move?

[2847] Yeah, he's done it in a lot of movies.

[2848] He has?

[2849] And he does it on America's Got Talent.

[2850] pretty often too.

[2851] Oh, my God.

[2852] He's got great control of them.

[2853] Yeah, he can make him pop and dance and lock.

[2854] Do you know how to do that?

[2855] Uh -huh.

[2856] Not to his degree.

[2857] Do it.

[2858] Wow.

[2859] Oh, my God.

[2860] You can do it.

[2861] Like a titty dance.

[2862] You know how to move one versus the other.

[2863] That is crazy.

[2864] Do most people know how to do that?

[2865] I think you need enough pecks for it to be visible, probably.

[2866] There's some.

[2867] Right.

[2868] A threshold of minimum pectoris majorists you need?

[2869] But do people know, even if they don't have that big of a pectoral?

[2870] Do they know, like, the motion?

[2871] Yeah, you know how to, you can engage your pector muscle.

[2872] You know how to do that.

[2873] Like, imagine you're doing a bench press and that feeling of your chest getting tight as you.

[2874] I'm trying it.

[2875] Okay.

[2876] Just for the audience to know we're safe, you're in a very enormous sweatshirt.

[2877] So it's not like I'm seeing anything in a probe.

[2878] Also, we're safe because nothing is happening, like zero is happening.

[2879] That's unfair.

[2880] That's unfair.

[2881] That's because of my breast size.

[2882] Well, if you did a more, you don't do any push -ups or bench press, I can't imagine in your exercise routine.

[2883] You're more of a wager and a legs.

[2884] I am more of a wager and a legs.

[2885] I do, though, every, I will throw in some push -ups and planks.

[2886] Okay.

[2887] Well, next time you're doing that, just connect with, What muscle, that's part of it.

[2888] You know, your brain creates these neural pathways, right?

[2889] If you're learning to ride a bike that you're learning how to operate those muscles in that routine to do that task.

[2890] So if you don't ever flex your peck muscles, you have no connection to do that.

[2891] I mean, you can just move your arms, but it's kind of like raising your eyebrows, right?

[2892] Or some people can, you know, make their ears jiggle.

[2893] You have to practice that.

[2894] And then once those neural pathways are there, then you can just do it.

[2895] You can make your ears jiggle?

[2896] I can't, but many people can.

[2897] Yeah, they can move their ears or they can move one eyebrow up and one down.

[2898] Like, we could do that if we put in the time in the mirror.

[2899] I'm trying.

[2900] I can't do it.

[2901] You're not doing many of the, yeah, I just didn't do the eyebrow thing and didn't, to my knowledge, do the pecks either.

[2902] You've got some work to do.

[2903] You can roll your eyes.

[2904] You know how to roll your eyes really good.

[2905] You've perfected that.

[2906] Yeah, I have.

[2907] I have control over my eyebrows.

[2908] Yes, at the same time, but not one at a time.

[2909] Is one up right now?

[2910] Ish, ish.

[2911] Not a total foul, but yeah, you got to get in front of the mirror today and put in the time.

[2912] Damn it.

[2913] Okay.

[2914] All right, well, I love you, and pretty soon we're going to be reunited.

[2915] I'm ready.

[2916] Yeah, it's getting in the attic.

[2917] All right.

[2918] I love you.

[2919] Love you.

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