#1973 - Joey Diaz

[0] Joe Rogan podcast, checking out.

[1] The Joe Rogan Experience.

[2] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[3] You're Jamie looking yoked.

[4] Like a motherfucker.

[5] Hitting balls across the fucking desert.

[6] Yeah, he's addicted to that golf.

[7] I should see him out there with a simulator.

[8] Just whop.

[9] He told him he was out in the back yard.

[10] Good for him, man. Whop.

[11] You still won't hit a golf ball?

[12] I've hit a couple golf balls.

[13] I'm just not going to play golf.

[14] Okay.

[15] I'm scared.

[16] Of what?

[17] Get addicted to it.

[18] They're all addicted.

[19] Ron White, Tony Hinchcliff, him, all these guys.

[20] They're addicted.

[21] Look at him.

[22] It's over there, Jones.

[23] They go every day?

[24] You guys go every day?

[25] He's on the simulator every day.

[26] They get a motherfucker can whack a golf ball.

[27] It's like shooting jump shots, though.

[28] You've got to practice the jump shot.

[29] Yeah, you got to practice the jump shot.

[30] Tremendous.

[31] How long does this take you to do?

[32] 22 fucking years.

[33] Jesus.

[34] And then I hooked up with Erica Floreen.

[35] Jimmy's niece, and she put it all together for me. I'm happy I did it and got it over with.

[36] Nice.

[37] I got all that shit off my fucking chest.

[38] Joey Diaz is an author.

[39] Look at this.

[40] I bet this is great.

[41] I've heard most of these stories, I'm sure.

[42] But I don't know with you.

[43] You know, I always think I've heard all the fucking stories, and then another one pops up.

[44] If you really could, like, document everything you've been through in your life, like, no one would believe it.

[45] They don't believe it.

[46] People still sometimes don't believe so those stories.

[47] Yeah, we're on.

[48] Good to see you.

[49] The one thing that's writing it and reading it, I did the audio book.

[50] Oh, nice.

[51] I did the audio book.

[52] How was that?

[53] Good.

[54] And everybody said, it's going to suck, blah, blah, blah.

[55] I go, give me three hours a day.

[56] Give me a space in between.

[57] And I'll go in there and just knock it.

[58] I knocked it off in two and a half weeks.

[59] Nice.

[60] But once I read it, like, you know, because it's been on your head for a long time and shit.

[61] Once I read it, I only got one thing out of this book.

[62] I got my money's worth.

[63] When they picked me for a life, I got my money's worth.

[64] Whether it was good or bad, you know what I'm saying?

[65] Whether it was good or bad, I got my money's worth out of this life.

[66] If I get hit by a plane tonight, I'm good.

[67] And that's what, seriously, that's what I came up with.

[68] Adventures, fucking stories.

[69] I was the biggest loser.

[70] How many times I started over?

[71] If you read that book, I must have started over 60 times.

[72] you know just move pick up move and go to another town and rob them blind and then pick them up and go back and I was like a fucking yo -yo man yeah I was very unsettled you're unsettled when I met you very it was so funny because I remember I was I was talking to some guys the other night in the green room about when I met you I was like I had come to L .A. and I was just so not used to actors I was so not used to those kind of people but I was so used to like comics and degenerative at Poo Hall people and then I met you and I was like oh I know you this is a combination you I knew you right away you and I became friends like that quickly like that I remember like there's so many people that got weirded out by you it was so funny when I bring you around like news radio with the leather jacket Joey would go with Joey was building a football player back then and you would go into the fucking the green room where all the the executives and you were eating all the shrimp cocktail And they were scared to say anything because, like, that room was separated from everybody else's green room.

[73] It's like they had their own thing where they go in there and everything was catered and beautiful and champagne.

[74] And you just strolled in there and started eating shrimp cocktail.

[75] They're like, who's this criminal -looking fellow who's eating her shrimp cocktail?

[76] Well, they had the table with the regular food.

[77] And I remember they had chili.

[78] I'll never forget that they had the best chili in the world.

[79] I was broke.

[80] I was hungry, and I must ate 10 bowls of it.

[81] And then I looked over, and there's all these little white dudes with, you know, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

[82] You know, I'm like, what the fuck?

[83] And they had the jumbo shrimp and the thing.

[84] So I walked right in there, right past him.

[85] They're like, and I just started mingling with them.

[86] Great show.

[87] Great script.

[88] Tremendous actor, Andy Dick.

[89] And that was it.

[90] And then they came to you, and you were dying a laugh.

[91] And you're like, Joe, you can't.

[92] They just, boom.

[93] And then the time with the man show.

[94] Oh, yeah.

[95] Yeah, we had some times with that one.

[96] I think the first, like, eight years, you were like, I don't know if I can handle this guy.

[97] What are you talking about?

[98] I did my best.

[99] Do you remember it stand -up, New York, with Sussman, when I went off on the owner?

[100] You remember that?

[101] Oh, yeah.

[102] During August, the fear of fact, and we went in there, and he's like, you're not going to get a spot tonight.

[103] I go, I didn't ask for a fucking spot, you asshole.

[104] He just looked at me, and Sussman was like, what the fuck, Joey?

[105] I didn't like that dude, so.

[106] But no, at the beginning, I don't know that you were like shaking your head.

[107] This guy's not.

[108] Yeah, but it made me comfortable.

[109] I love being around you because I know people like you.

[110] I understand you.

[111] Like, I didn't understand actors.

[112] It made me so uncomfortable because I never knew who they really were.

[113] I never knew what they really thought.

[114] They were never, like, present with you.

[115] Not all of them, you know, but it was just like there was enough of them out there.

[116] They were trying to make it in Hollywood, and they were putting on a show for everybody, everywhere they went.

[117] So you never really knew who they were.

[118] You know, with you, I was like right away.

[119] I was like, oh, I know guys like you.

[120] Like, right away.

[121] It was rough those couple years because I would go to meetings and stuff and people go, I don't know.

[122] Yeah, you were rough.

[123] You were rough.

[124] I was like, I don't know.

[125] And then I remember I went to HBO.

[126] Somebody got me a meeting at HBO, like in 98.

[127] And I had no success at all.

[128] Like, I wasn't having any success at all except to the comedy store.

[129] and I went to that meeting and something.

[130] Like, I went with, like, actors and agents, and you know how proper they are.

[131] Yeah.

[132] This is an idea about the future, this show, and I could just take it for so long, and I just went.

[133] And I talked about growing up in a funeral parlor, picking up bodies, going to fucking JFK, and bringing the bodies back, and slinging them in the mouth.

[134] The guy's body, the mouth would open on the body because my friend had a funeral parlor.

[135] And they were like, hold on.

[136] second.

[137] This is stunning.

[138] And I just started going off on them.

[139] And they're like, we want to hear more.

[140] Put these together in notes for me. And I was like, okay.

[141] And then after the new year, I gave them the notes.

[142] And I was on fire.

[143] Like, I didn't tell anybody about this.

[144] Some guy hit pocketed me and took me to a meeting.

[145] And that was six feet under.

[146] Oh.

[147] So we were on, like, I was like, okay, okay.

[148] And they were like, we don't know if this going to work.

[149] But then they turned me down.

[150] They go, we like the idea, but funeral ideas haven't worked.

[151] after this went out for like two months and then six months later a fucking six feet under came out oh they just took your idea I don't know I don't think they took my listen that happens all the time I thought they had in development but my idea was completely different it was about two hoolums who worked at a funeral Paul right it wasn't about whatever that show turned out but I think the concept is just constantly handling dead people there's something about that that never was really covered before that's got to affect the way people see life I remember the first time I saw my grandfather was in an open casket and the first time I saw his body I remember immediately it was very interesting because one of the first things I felt was like oh he's not there you know it's not just that someone's not alive anymore like he wasn't there that was when I started wondering and I wonder if a soul is a real thing I wonder what that is that that concept of what is the force inside of someone that causes them to be alive if you sense it when you're around them.

[152] Because the strange thing about dead bodies is not just that they're a human body that's dead.

[153] It's also there's no one there.

[154] You know what I'm saying?

[155] Like you have a feeling that's very intangible.

[156] There's a feeling when you're around a person.

[157] Like there's a person there.

[158] It's like, oh, he's not there anymore.

[159] There's no energy.

[160] There's nothing coming from the body.

[161] There's no nothing.

[162] It's not as simple as the heart's not beating and the lungs aren't catching oxygen.

[163] It's something more.

[164] It's like you're feeling.

[165] You know, I don't know if it's real.

[166] And it's also, when you're looking at a body that's in an open casket, it's been drenched in formaldehyde and covered in makeup.

[167] It's very odd.

[168] Very odd.

[169] Now, they say that when you die, you lose.

[170] How much pounds?

[171] Listen, I don't think that's real.

[172] 21 grams.

[173] Yeah, 21 grams.

[174] That's a movie that that dude made.

[175] Let's see if that is that, what was that based on?

[176] That was based on some sort of a study, but from what I understand, it's not real.

[177] I don't think your soul would weigh anything.

[178] Why would I have to weigh anything?

[179] It's just a spirit.

[180] Yeah.

[181] It's just an energy.

[182] Does electricity weigh anything, you know?

[183] Do you want me to tell you something, man?

[184] I grew up going to a lot of wakes early in it.

[185] When you watch the Sopranos, they go to a wake every other week.

[186] In Jersey, you're in a wake every other week.

[187] I've been there three years, and I've already could have gone to like 18 wakes.

[188] I've been to maybe two or three of them.

[189] But in three years, wakes are big.

[190] But you look at the whole process of a wake.

[191] I would never let my daughter go to a wake now until she's 18, just because the effects it did to me. I don't remember my father's wake, but I remember my friend's wakes from grammar school, and I remember my mother's wake.

[192] And those three weeks fucked me up.

[193] To the point where somebody else died when I was like a junior or a senior in high school and I didn't go to that wake.

[194] Like I was like, I'm enough for a week.

[195] I've had enough of wakes.

[196] I don't think it's healthy.

[197] I don't know.

[198] For me, it wasn't.

[199] I got exposed to it at a young age and it just wasn't healthy man it fucked with me for a long time I watched the exorcist didn't fuck with me as long as those as much as those caskets fucked with me so when my buddy had the funeral a year later I volunteered for the job because I didn't want to have that creepiness between us and that eliminated I saw how he responded to it it was like an everyday thing it was like you lifting kettlebells him picking up a dead body putting him down you know I saw how he you get numb you you're numb to that yeah that's that's the you know but it's so weird how it's like the number one career to get into and no deal get into think about it it pays off the bat like off the bat if you go to school for the uh embalming school whatever they call it's like a funeral director the whole thing they cover everything it's like a year if you don't go to college a year a year to make a hundred something something thousand dollars think about it that's not bad yeah if you're willing to work with dead people if you want to work with dead people my friends funeral paula had a fireman that did the embalming so he would just come in and do the embalming you know 400 a body whatever i don't know what it's done during the embalming it's very sacred i know they break the spine they drain the blood they feel you a formaldehyde and shit but that whole process and then you go back and look at like the asex and how they did The Chinese, they put you on a boat and they float you away.

[200] They celebrate this.

[201] I think the Vikings did it right.

[202] The Vikings did it right.

[203] Light that motherfucker on fire.

[204] Light them on fire.

[205] Everybody had their own thing, which is very interesting.

[206] Every, the Aztecs, this, everybody had their own way of dealing with it.

[207] Yeah.

[208] So we were on the right path.

[209] I just don't think of going in there and sitting with a dead body for three hours and looking at them as healthy.

[210] And then I heard stories from Cuba where they had no embalming fluid And you would have to bury, your body would die, and you would have to wake at your home.

[211] Oh.

[212] Like in the 40s, 20s, they had wakes at people's homes.

[213] Yeah.

[214] Without the embalming floor.

[215] And at one point, the fucking hand would pop up.

[216] And you'd have to break the arm to put the casket down.

[217] Because once that rig or mortar sets in, that arm, that's a straight, that's fucking straight strength.

[218] You're not just going to bend that arm in and do an arm bar or a Camorra.

[219] It's not going to fucking happen.

[220] Yeah.

[221] So they have to break the arm to put the arm down.

[222] So when I was a kid, my mother would always go, if you hit your mother, your arm pops up in your fucking caskets.

[223] So I decided I'm not going to hit my mom.

[224] Fuck that.

[225] I'm going to walk into fucking hell with your arm up like Hitler.

[226] You know, you hit your mother.

[227] Fuck you.

[228] You're the first person to tell me about the scams of the whole mortuary industry, about how much money they get you for.

[229] Like, no matter, even if you want to get an embalming, You still, or even if you want to get someone cremated, you still have to get them embalmed.

[230] You still have to fill them up with formaldehy.

[231] And you were explaining the casket, so they, like, guilt you in getting a nicer casket.

[232] Oh, yeah.

[233] What do you want, you want to be buried in four pieces of wood, or you want the Cadillac of caskets?

[234] How weird is that?

[235] I got one with a sunroof.

[236] It's, you know, they got everything now.

[237] But how weird is it that people give a fuck what the box looks like, that they bury you in?

[238] So strange.

[239] The things that people do to show that they cared when someone was alive Buy a fancy box to put them in Like If that's me, save your money Me too Yeah I remember I had that joke Just bury me in the yard My friend That's how you're supposed to die And they want a 15 grand And I'm like, you got a yard that's huge Yeah That was an old joke I'm like you know you got a hard 15 thousand Not only that Then the person gets cycled back into life You become a part of the earth again Because, like, what we're doing is very unnatural.

[240] We stop the body from decaying, so you stop bacteria from eating it.

[241] You stop the soil from being enriched by it.

[242] It's all a natural part of the cycle of life of all living things, and we've removed ourselves from it.

[243] We've removed ourselves from it, you know, and you could say, well, it was a good thing because you ever watched that HBO show with Dr. Michael Badden, the autopsy?

[244] Sometimes they exhumed people, and they find out that the wife really did it, and you ever watched that show?

[245] That fucking show was amazing.

[246] We've had numerous conversations.

[247] In fact, they took Biden, what was his name, Michael Bowden?

[248] Michael Baden.

[249] Biden.

[250] He was retired, and they took him back to get the autopsy on Epstein.

[251] That dude.

[252] And they found out that he had a fracture in his neck that was indicative of being strangled with a ligature, like some sort of a fucking cord.

[253] Yeah, and that this wasn't like when people hang themselves.

[254] When they hang themselves, the weight of it goes up because your body is hanging down.

[255] So it's like you're getting pulled.

[256] This was down on his neck, like low, like someone strangled him from behind.

[257] In his throat, the bones in his neck were fractured, which is also like a ligature strangulation.

[258] Isn't that weird how it just went down?

[259] Still going down.

[260] Disappeared.

[261] They put Galane in jail and they never released a client list.

[262] That is insane.

[263] The fact that that's okay with people.

[264] And, you know, everybody's freaking out about.

[265] Bud Light.

[266] Okay.

[267] You care about Bud Light?

[268] You should really care about that.

[269] Because it's showing that people that are in power can probably have people killed and probably hide evidence that they did something that people would find atrocious.

[270] And we just never questioned it.

[271] Yeah.

[272] He died.

[273] We knew it was the fucking mystery man. I think it's good.

[274] There's more of that.

[275] The more of that shit that's out there, the more people realize how fucking ridiculous it is to think that these people that are in positions of power give a fuck about you.

[276] They don't.

[277] That's why I don't fuck with politics.

[278] Don't fuck with politics.

[279] I don't.

[280] It's not necessary.

[281] I don't.

[282] I don't.

[283] Because at the end of the day, it don't matter.

[284] It don't give two fucks about you.

[285] I just went off at a restaurant Sunday.

[286] Some lady, I don't know why people do this.

[287] Some couple asked me if I was a fucking Republican.

[288] A couple asked you that?

[289] Yeah, was at a restaurant?

[290] You know, you had a bar and you're eating.

[291] There's a couple next to you, and you're talking.

[292] You're watching a game.

[293] And she goes, are you a Republican or a Democrat?

[294] And I looked at him, I go, I'm a felon.

[295] And she just shit.

[296] She goes, what are you talking about?

[297] I go, listen, I don't play that shit, okay, lady?

[298] I go, all you motherfuckers have gotten too political in the last 10 years.

[299] Everybody's a political analyst.

[300] I go, I got here in 66, and I always paid attention to elections and what people said.

[301] I always did.

[302] And by the time I was 18, I realized, you know what?

[303] These people come along every four years with the same fucking story and nothing gets done.

[304] So I chose a different path for my life instead of focusing on that.

[305] Call me when the president who says, listen, you don't have to go to work and you're going to get your balls licked all day.

[306] That's who I'm voting for.

[307] Until that fucking time, I get KLS because I still got to get up and be a thief every fucking day.

[308] I still got to get up and hustle every fucking day.

[309] So what good is it?

[310] Every day, they're going to lower taxes.

[311] They're going to do this.

[312] They're going to do that.

[313] And I'm still getting up busting my fucking hump every fucking day.

[314] Well, who gives a fuck?

[315] I think a bad president is very bad.

[316] But I think a good president you just take for granted.

[317] And you don't think anything, you'd just go about your life.

[318] The Obama was very good.

[319] There was a lot of great presidents that we had, you know.

[320] But it makes the country safer if someone makes good decisions.

[321] If someone's a good figurehead, the problem when someone isn't, whether it was Trump or whoever it was, when people mock them and are angry at them, it's just bad for morale.

[322] It's bad for everybody.

[323] I saw all that shit.

[324] You don't, I saw it the last two or three presidents, how much is Americans we backpite?

[325] When I was a kid, we didn't backbite that much.

[326] Didn't backbite, like the president?

[327] Like the president?

[328] Yeah, attack the president that much.

[329] There was a lot of people that hated Kennedy, right?

[330] Like, that was one of the things about when he got assassinated, there was a lot of people that were very happy.

[331] That's one of the kinkiest things in our history.

[332] Oh, my God.

[333] Who was happy?

[334] For sure, the Republicans.

[335] There was a lot of Republicans that did not like him.

[336] It was right after the Bay of Pigs.

[337] There was a lot going on with him, and, you know, he had all this talk about secrets.

[338] societies and the being abhorrent and he wanted to disband the CIA that motherfucker wanted to get us out of Vietnam like Kennedy was a different cat he was a different cat and you know for all of his uh sexual proclivities and all you know all the documented things of him being a freak they're all freaks that's why those people became presidents in the first place that's why they wanted power there were men who wanted power and many wanted power were all like you know like your stereotypical man in power like that's it's there's a reason why that stereotype exists but when you look at what he was trying to do for the country and trying to unite people and the the speeches that he gave to this day they're fucking incredible civil rights everything he pissed off a lot of people even talking about going to the moon just the way he phrased it we choose to go to the moon not because it's easy because it is hard like he talked about that like he wanted it to be like a symbol of American excellence he wanted to like set a tone for the country they shot his ass he dropped those people he fucked you know those Cubans feel like he fucked them yes the Bay of Pigs Cubans feel like you think there was I don't understand that story totally I've been told several different versions of it that he was double crossed that they pulled out support they pulled out their support the last minute yeah he I don't know you know I've heard I've heard he was an idiot and I've heard he was a piece of shit and I've heard no he got fucked so it's like I would have to go do a deep dive you know it's very difficult when you're reading um some versions of history because you can read a lot of versions of history that treat the Lee Harvey Oswald lone assassin stories if it's plausible.

[339] You could read a lot of versions of that.

[340] Well, you go, oh, yeah, I guess so.

[341] But then you'll read, you know, David Lifton's book, Best Evidence, and you'll be like, there's no fucking way.

[342] They killed him.

[343] They killed him.

[344] They fucking killed them.

[345] Let's just get them out of way.

[346] They killed them.

[347] They didn't just kill him, Joey?

[348] For sure, someone in the CIA had something to do with it because of Jolly West's involvement.

[349] Jolly West was the guy that was the head of NK.

[350] Ultra.

[351] He was the guy that dosed up Manson, and they ran the hate Ashbury free clinic.

[352] The CIA ran a free clinic in San Francisco for fucking decades.

[353] And then they ran Operation Midnight Climax, where they would dose up Johns with acid.

[354] These guys would go into brothels.

[355] They'd dose them, they'd think they'd go to have sex, and the woman would give them a drink, and they're drinking acid.

[356] And they'd just get dosed up, and then they'd study these guys.

[357] They did some wild, freaky shit.

[358] And one of the things that he did when he got, when Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald, he went to visit Jack Ruby in prison.

[359] And from that moment on, Jack Ruby lost his fucking mind.

[360] He was hiding underneath the bed saying the Jews are being incinerated.

[361] They're coming to kill us all.

[362] He was chripping balls.

[363] I think they just dosed that guy into a fucking coma.

[364] and then after they dosed him into a coma they gave him cancer and he was dead like within a year Wow and they're all it's all connected It's all connected And the idea that no one was involved In that assassination other than Lee Harvey Oswald That doesn't make any sense Even if Lee Harvey Oswald was the only one Who pulled the trigger Even if that Lee Harvey Oswald was traveling back and forth to Russia He lived in Russia He's married to a Russian woman Like the fact that this is in the middle of the Cold War They're not investigating this guy Get the fuck out of here.

[365] I think it was a patsy, bro.

[366] I think they set them up from A to Z. Somebody was giving them money letting them know.

[367] It's interesting because when, listen, you don't want to base yourself on stupid things.

[368] But remember that speech that dude gave Kevin Costner?

[369] Which one?

[370] In JFK.

[371] Yes.

[372] What was the guy's name?

[373] He was the guy.

[374] Donald Sutherland.

[375] A guy from invasion of body snatchers.

[376] The guy, that motherfucker got offered a deal for Animal House.

[377] he would have been like $11 million, he took the $10 ,000 one payment.

[378] Really?

[379] Yeah, I read that somewhere.

[380] I still love Donald Sutherland.

[381] Donald Sutherland was a bad motherfucker.

[382] But that speech he gave...

[383] Keitha Sutherland's dad.

[384] Kiefer Sutherland's dad.

[385] He goes, that guy got shot.

[386] And within 10 minutes, they already had a whole background on this guy.

[387] You know, and then he showed him the newspapers.

[388] How could the paper come out in Brussels?

[389] But I don't remember the whole thing.

[390] But all that made a lot of fucking...

[391] sense yeah newspapers were already reporting stories on him on him yeah on him who he was what his background was yeah I think he was a patsy and a very interesting thing I started listen you don't people tell you to watch your show yeah and you're like I don't want to watch that fucking show every day but people tell you constantly watch that show watch that show I've recently put on the show I didn't know what to expect Joe Rogan on fucking what is it godfather oh what's that not that about, it's not about what you think.

[392] It's that dude that played Fast Times of Ridgemont High, the brother that goes after Sean Penn, the big dude, Forrest Whitaker.

[393] Okay.

[394] Fucking great actor.

[395] Nigel.

[396] Is it already on season three?

[397] Yeah.

[398] Prequel to American Gangster.

[399] I think I just This show.

[400] So it's about that guy that Denzo Washington played.

[401] Yes.

[402] So this show, but it's not what you, I don't want you to think, oh, Joey showed up here with this.

[403] This show, first of all, the first season, basically by Muhammad Ali in Harlem.

[404] How?

[405] He hooked up with, what's his name?

[406] K. Malcolm X. And they already told him, listen, you are going to, your name is Muhammad Ali, but we're not going to change it until you win the championship, the title, because you will lose the white sponsors, the white devil and all this shit.

[407] He was already with them.

[408] But not only that story, it talks about civil rights.

[409] It goes to when they shot Kennedy.

[410] What they saw, like, in Chicago, how they knew for sure was the mob and the CIA that killed Kennedy.

[411] They talked about how when Malcolm X was going to meet, I didn't know about this.

[412] He was going to do a speech at the United Nations with Che Guevara.

[413] Malcolm X. Really?

[414] In 1965, they were going fucking nuts.

[415] And it all ties in because, and they kind of.

[416] explaining the beginning you have to tie a gangster in with political because then he blows up that pilot something really interesting you know I'm a fucking moron I can't say and that's what they try to show you that all these gangsters had something to do with this history yeah the guy who played that fucking dude that blows his head off in full metal jacket mm -hmm Vincent Donofrio he plays a Vito Genevieve's he plays a Vito Genoves that your fucking head will blow up.

[417] Something completely different.

[418] I like how he cast it.

[419] I like the way he cast it.

[420] He casted outside the box.

[421] Again, like Tony Soprano was casted.

[422] The guy that plays Vito, and he's very political in this.

[423] And that guy Giancarlo Esposito, who's a fucking G, he plays a congressman.

[424] And he's always meeting with presidents, but Bumpy's wife works for him.

[425] So it's very interesting.

[426] What's it on?

[427] So it's MGM Plus?

[428] Hulu, the first two seasons, and MGM Plus, the last season.

[429] MGM Plus.

[430] It's like Paramount Plus.

[431] There's so many of them.

[432] There's so many of them.

[433] You know, at the end of the week you pay for so money.

[434] But it's an interesting show.

[435] You know, that's the most interesting show.

[436] You learn something.

[437] It's not about shooting and just heroin.

[438] It's all this little, you know, the Cuban dude, how all he wanted, battle that dude that we talked about with T .J. English.

[439] All he wanted.

[440] He was selling coach just to take.

[441] Cuba back.

[442] Like that guy was, can you imagine you come into me going, Joey, we're going to do this, this, this, but the fucking final result of this money is me going back to Palermo to take my grandfather's village back.

[443] This is what that battle dude was into.

[444] He just wanted to go back to Cuba.

[445] That's it.

[446] I don't want no problems.

[447] I just want to kill Fidel and go back to Cuba.

[448] So they tried, they get with the CIA and they show how many times they tried to kill Operation shaman goose, the fucking wetsuits, the fucking cigar that explodes.

[449] All those were failed CIA attacks.

[450] How many times they try to kill Castro?

[451] Watch that documentary, 101 times.

[452] Remember when that motherfucker walked on the subway in New York?

[453] Remember he came to the U .S.?

[454] And he walked on, that's what they show in that.

[455] He walked on the subway in New York.

[456] And the guy goes, you got a bulletproof vest, and he lowers it.

[457] He goes, I got nothing on.

[458] 101 ways to kill Castro.

[459] Wasn't that the name of the documentary?

[460] I don't know.

[461] Forrest Whitaker's a fucking great.

[462] great actor, isn't he?

[463] Forrest Whitaker was in the color of money.

[464] He played the guy that hustled fast that he felt in.

[465] Yes.

[466] Remember he has...

[467] Is that you mad?

[468] Yes.

[469] 638.

[470] He hustles him out of all this money and at the end he goes, can I ask you serious your question?

[471] Do you think I should lose some weight?

[472] The guy was like completely broke.

[473] He shattered him.

[474] Fasted that he went in there with a big ego thinking he was this man, this big -time pool hustler from the 1960s, and Forrest Whitaker plays this guy that's, like, super eccentric who hustles him out of all his money, and then that's his fuck you at the end.

[475] Let me ask you a question.

[476] I think I should lose some weight.

[477] Boris Whitaker's played some fucking good roles, too.

[478] That Ediamine and that fucking, what are the last king of Scotland?

[479] I don't know.

[480] He's the same thing.

[481] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[482] Ghost dog.

[483] Ghost dog.

[484] And DeNofrio.

[485] God damn, that motherfucker.

[486] That guy has been around.

[487] That guy could act his ass off.

[488] Dog, he plays a good, and it's not like, oh, no. He seems like a guy would be a nightmare to have a political talk with, though.

[489] Yeah, no, he's.

[490] Like, if you sit in the craft service table and he starts bringing about the Biden administration's new plans for this or that, you're like, oh.

[491] Can I run out here in Pee, real quick?

[492] Yeah, go run on here and Pee real quick.

[493] We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.

[494] No worries.

[495] Go ahead.

[496] Got you to pee before we rocked them bowl.

[497] No, I saw you went to the bathroom.

[498] I'm like, I should go, I'll hold it.

[499] Fuck you, you're going to hold it.

[500] Those holding days are over with.

[501] I got a go, Jack.

[502] I got a bottle in my fucking car.

[503] You got a bottle, you pee?

[504] Yeah, the one from surgery, from my knee surgery three years ago.

[505] I just took it home left on the back seat.

[506] That New Jersey turnpike, fuck you.

[507] I go to the gym at 10.

[508] You go to the gym, you're drinking, and then I go, let me go up north or something, a meeting or something.

[509] Dog, I got to pull over, like, three times.

[510] I was just pissing the thing out of light.

[511] I got it down to a science.

[512] I put the Cuban Negro on the bottle.

[513] I piss in it.

[514] I put it in the drink holder.

[515] I just drive like a mile.

[516] Put it in the brakes.

[517] Oh, no. You know what I mean?

[518] I popped the door open.

[519] I dumped the little piss.

[520] I put paper towel.

[521] I wipe it out.

[522] I take it in the back, fill the little water.

[523] And that keeps me going.

[524] That turnpike's a motherfucker door.

[525] Yeah, that traffic is insane.

[526] That turnpike parkway is a motherfucker.

[527] The traffic in and out of New York City is probably the worst traffic I've ever experienced.

[528] No. That shit that we left in L .A. had his moments, too.

[529] When the 10 goes to the 405 at 4 .30, that was the worst.

[530] There's some ways into the city, though, where it feels like there's only one way.

[531] Whereas if you're going down to, like, Orange County, there's a few different ways.

[532] You can kind of skirt around it up until you get deep in.

[533] Once you get near San Diego, you're kind of fucked.

[534] You're kind of fucked.

[535] Those are the rough days.

[536] Driving from L .A. Remember we do, like, the La Jolla Comedy Store?

[537] we'd have to leave at like 1 p .m. You would leave at 1.

[538] I would leave at 6 and do 90 on the shoulder the whole way.

[539] Because if you left at 1, it was still 4 hours.

[540] So either you had to leave at 6 or you had to leave at like 6 in the morning or you had to leave at like 6 o 'clock at night, which would give you a 2 -hour window.

[541] And I was featuring.

[542] Oh, God.

[543] And I would fucking make it all the time.

[544] Tell them to go long and you get down there.

[545] And then I know, do you remember I used to make it about?

[546] back from San Diego and I think like an hour it had to be more than that was it 117 miles I think I would make it I would leave San Diego La Jolla at a quarter of 12 and I would make it to my coke dealer's house by 1 a .m. What is that what is uh you're going 100 miles an hour Joey what is the distance between Los Angeles and a hundred to one miles I think it's more so I would get on the five I think it's 110 okay I would get on the five, okay?

[547] I had the, this is it.

[548] Get on the five, do 75.

[549] Once you're like five miles away from immigration where they ask you to stop for fruit, I would kick it to 100.

[550] 118.

[551] I would kick it to 100.

[552] And then once I'd pass the fruit, I'd slow down to the speed limit.

[553] And from there to Irvine, I'd do 100.

[554] And next thing you knew, it said, L .A., 29 miles.

[555] Jesus.

[556] I used to fucking, I remember I got stopped a few times.

[557] Yeah?

[558] And the cops pulled me over.

[559] You know how fast you were going, but because I wasn't drinking.

[560] Fridays and Saturday nights, were you drinking?

[561] Not at all, the office.

[562] I'm better than that.

[563] Okay.

[564] Slow down next time.

[565] Fuck you.

[566] I got a Coke guy to meet by 1 o 'clock.

[567] I got shit to do.

[568] My Coke dealer would close at one.

[569] Aren't you glad your Coke days were before the fentanyl problem?

[570] Yeah.

[571] Jesus Christ, Joey.

[572] This is why I only do anything I get from who I know.

[573] Yeah.

[574] I'm to a point now where I just deal with laughing gas.

[575] That's it.

[576] I eat that mushrooms.

[577] I eat anything from them because I know where I'm getting at fun.

[578] I feel a lot safer.

[579] In L .A. now, you've got to be really careful with anything you touch.

[580] Even if it's prescription, you've got to be fucking careful.

[581] Well, I heard that people were buying testing kits for cocaine.

[582] Yeah.

[583] I know.

[584] It's crazy, right?

[585] You kind of have to do that.

[586] You don't have to do anything.

[587] Why snort coke?

[588] You know, snort and coke was always.

[589] These are fucking Russian roulette, right?

[590] Right?

[591] But now it's even more of a Russian roulette.

[592] Now you're going to die of a fucking heart attack or fentanyl.

[593] Yeah.

[594] You know, so now, and that goes for everything.

[595] That's heroin.

[596] That's prescription pills.

[597] That's fucking reefer.

[598] They're putting in edibles in L .A. That's everything.

[599] Look, didn't somebody just die again from fentanyl?

[600] Coolio or something?

[601] Coalio died from fentany.

[602] You know, this doesn't end.

[603] So you got to really, if you were, you really, really got to be careful what you're putting in you now yeah thank god i wasn't doing any of that shit now thank god because yeah you're gonna die it's very scary they're putting that shit into this country i mean that's all you read about how much fentanyl's coming in and how many people are dying from that shit so didn't they say now they're giving you narcan at home you can buy that cbs or something like that i don't know if that's case but well i know a lot of people are buying narcan and send it into their kids at college it's very scary It's scary shit, man, because it's like, this is not something that anybody had to deal with before.

[604] Like, this level of contamination was something that's so deadly.

[605] When you get, like, I think it was like 100 ,000 people one year died of overdoses.

[606] Like, what the fuck, man, for fentanyl.

[607] Tom Petty died from that, too, right?

[608] Yep.

[609] Prince.

[610] Tom Petty.

[611] Now, what is fentanyl is synthetic opioids.

[612] It's a very potent synthetic opioid.

[613] And the amount that can kill you is so small.

[614] that if you look at a penny, it'd be like a tiny little piece on a penny.

[615] Like there's an image that's online, like a famous image of the, of, see if you're finding, Jamie.

[616] There's an amount of fentanyl that could kill you, and it's next to a penny.

[617] And you look at you, holy fuck.

[618] It's the tiniest amount.

[619] So it's super, super, super potent.

[620] So, you know, in medications, it's used, but they know what the dosage is.

[621] When you're getting it from the cartel, someone's mixing in a, bathtub in Tijuana like look at it look at that amount next to the penny how crazy is that that'll kill you that mean that's nuts man it's basically the amount of coke the amount of fentanyl that's in lincoln's beard if you take that amount from lincoln's beard if you're looking at a penny that'll kill you that's crazy that's a that's a potent fucking drug and the fact that they mix that into everything it's fucking nuts man scary shit man it's and it's scary how they just hand out pain pills to people nobody just deals with pain everybody's got to just be zonked out all right and i gotta say something i learned a very valuable lesson from those pills with my last surgery i learned a very valuable lesson the lesson is i learned that i think those fucking uh oxy cottons promote more pain i really do i really fucking do i could tell you this now after the surgery because i had when i had to right knee surgery.

[622] Okay, number one, I got to give it to New Jersey, though.

[623] New Jersey, listen, I know a pharmacist, and she tells me that she used to work in Staten Island.

[624] When somebody goes in there for pain pills in Staten Island, they'll give them 100.

[625] Jesus.

[626] You know how many they give you in Jersey?

[627] How much?

[628] 19.

[629] They would give me 19 for the week.

[630] If you're going to take them for pain every six hours, that don't add up.

[631] They didn't give you enough from the beginning.

[632] New Jersey does not fuck around.

[633] So they're worried about you becoming addicted.

[634] Yeah, the DEA went into Jersey and a living.

[635] You can't get none of it.

[636] And you know I know everybody.

[637] You can't get shit in Jersey.

[638] Shit, not the way it was in L .A. But Staten Island's open.

[639] Yeah, because New York State is different prescription things.

[640] So when a doctor prescribes your oxy cotton in New York or Staten Island or for the five boroughs, they gave you like 90 of them.

[641] You know?

[642] In New Jersey, they get you.

[643] you 19.

[644] Talk, I thought the pharmacy was robbing me. Like, I would get home and go, where'd all the pills go?

[645] And I would sit there that I take, no, I just got them.

[646] My wife would give them to, how to fucking this?

[647] They don't give them to you to drive you crazy no more.

[648] But I had one prescription, and then it took me three days to get another one.

[649] I just suffered.

[650] And then I took another prescription, and by the end of that week, the pain had gotten worse.

[651] And it got to the point one day where it was that bone by my ankle.

[652] I guess they screwed something in there?

[653] I don't fucking know.

[654] And I said, you know what?

[655] I got the prescription.

[656] I threw them away.

[657] And the pain went away.

[658] So I think the pain was promoting, the pill was promoting my pain.

[659] Because once I threw the pain pills away, I didn't have no more pain.

[660] And what was the decision that throw the pain pills away?

[661] I don't like how they make you feel.

[662] You know, listen, you go to the dentist.

[663] I'm happy for two hours.

[664] They either give you a viking or something.

[665] I could live.

[666] off a Viking.

[667] I go to a little dodge a game or smoke a joint.

[668] I'm good.

[669] If I want to do that, it's when you do those things every day, like when you get a surgery and they give you those things every day, that's when I think it's a problem.

[670] Because when I took the fat ball out of my thing, that was horrible.

[671] At the end of that prescription, and I was a full junkie that, I did not feel good, Papa.

[672] I did not fucking feel good.

[673] It took me a couple weeks.

[674] And it was, you know, not the, you do the probiotics, you do all that shit.

[675] Now, let's take it back to the Xanax.

[676] When I was on the Xanax, it was basically during the pandemic.

[677] I had 10 ,000 of those things at the house.

[678] 10 ,000?

[679] Because he was sending me 90 a month from 2012 on automatic monthly.

[680] How was it taking them?

[681] They were just going in the closet.

[682] They were just going in the fucking.

[683] When did you take it?

[684] 2012 was when I got a prescribed.

[685] when I had my little situation at the comedy store that we goofed about that was none of that's not that was not good there's no way I should be in a standing walking 10 count that's what that was that night when I had to follow Morgan Murphy a standing walking 10 count dog I went up to I asked Paulie Shaw I told you this story and then we laughed about it but dog now thinking about it I should have done something I went to the comedy store I'm in the back you weren't there I think you had you were coming in the later.

[686] Yes, you were coming in later because on Saturdays I used to do the close the original room.

[687] Uh -huh.

[688] Talking bullshit with Pauli, everybody's in the back, no refil, maybe a joint before I got there.

[689] You know, Saturday night, just look to girls.

[690] I get there, they say Joey, you're up next.

[691] I walk to the thing and as I'm walking, I walk up the steps to the original room and Morgan's on stage and Paulie standing there laughing at her.

[692] And I walk up and I'm like, damn, I don't fucking feel good.

[693] Like, this is not working.

[694] I was starting to get anxiety.

[695] I couldn't breathe.

[696] I couldn't breathe.

[697] But I went to look at that window for years.

[698] Whenever I had anxiety in the original room, I had a window.

[699] When I'm on stage, I got a window on the right, remember?

[700] Yeah.

[701] And we could look out the sunset.

[702] Yeah.

[703] I was always good.

[704] That day, particularly, when I went in there, I didn't see a fucking window.

[705] So I was waiting for Morgan to get off, and all of a sudden I got this anxiety joy.

[706] I couldn't breathe.

[707] I couldn't fucking breathe.

[708] So I walked down the stairs just to look at the door.

[709] And I got worse.

[710] It got worse.

[711] I couldn't breathe.

[712] I thought I was going to fucking have a heart attack.

[713] And I go, Pauly, I can't get on stage.

[714] I'm having a horrible anxiety attack.

[715] He goes, I just went up, dude.

[716] And I walked up there, and I told you.

[717] But I didn't explain it to you correctly because I was cracking a joke.

[718] I woke up at the 12 -minute mark.

[719] I remember walking past Pauley, and that's it, Joe.

[720] that's it and then i remember waking up on stage and people laughing and i was probably on automatic pilot i had a bit that it was on automatic pilot that was a little scary when you got on zanics no it was a couple weeks i went to the doctor and he goes what was i kept having these little panic attacks kept having these little panic attacks little panic attacks i was okay i wasn't going to go to a psychiatrist we were working our asses all we didn't know what the fuck was going on so i started taking the xanax and it was help it a little bit.

[721] I would take it on the road if I went on a plane or something like that.

[722] What does it do for you?

[723] You got to remember, too.

[724] It was, you were a walking contradiction.

[725] I'm talking about myself because you said it best.

[726] I'm eating 2 ,000 milligrams of THC and scaring the fuck out of myself, right?

[727] You're walking around fucking scaring.

[728] Then the Xanax, I would take the Xanax to calm me down, off the anxiety.

[729] Come on, man. That's not going to work.

[730] Those edible weed sessions, when you do too many of them, I do think they make people very anxious.

[731] I think they just shift.

[732] I think they did, too.

[733] I think they shift the pole of your brain.

[734] You know more, I brought some more.

[735] I'm sure you did.

[736] But now I eat them more to sleep.

[737] I got them on a, my big problem, Joe, still to this day, is sleep.

[738] So now two nights, three nights a week, I drink a bodybuilder, a sleeping thing.

[739] What do you, do you have a hard time sleeping because you're not tired?

[740] Do you have a hard time sleep because you're thinking?

[741] I'm tired until 9 .30.

[742] And I look, come on, man. It's a comedy timing.

[743] I don't want to go to bed at 9 .30.

[744] Yeah.

[745] Do you know what I'm saying?

[746] I never want to go to bed at 8 o 'clock.

[747] That's when you know you're almost done.

[748] Yeah.

[749] I want a bed at 8.

[750] Fuck you, man. Yeah.

[751] I'm not looking to stay up until 4, but I'm not going to bed at 9 .30.

[752] So I'm tired about 9, but I push the envelope a little bit.

[753] I like to read, maybe listen to music.

[754] 11, 11 .30.

[755] I'm like you.

[756] I like to read shit on the computer.

[757] 11, 11.

[758] I try to read it and that.

[759] I turn the TV off.

[760] Once I go up there, bro, I'm thinking about the guy who came to my house who asked me if he could take an orange, but he took three instead.

[761] He took nine.

[762] He took nine instead.

[763] Yeah, and you're like, that was 11 years ago, Joey.

[764] I think about the time I bombed in the original room following Don Marrera.

[765] Like, does it matter?

[766] I think about the time I ate a bucket of dicks in North Carolina and Chapel Hill.

[767] Does it matter?

[768] Does it really matter that you ate a bag of dicks?

[769] You know, I think a stupid shit.

[770] Yeah.

[771] And then I fall asleep eventually.

[772] I'll tell you what to help.

[773] Whoop.

[774] I got the whoop watch to help me with recovery because I was lifting and going into Jiu -Jitsu and my back would hurt.

[775] So I want to figure out what kind of calories I could do, and I won't go over those.

[776] If I could do those five days a week, that's fine.

[777] But I can't go in there burn 800 fucking calories in Jiu -Jitsu and expect a deadlift the next day.

[778] I don't have that.

[779] So I got the whoop watch.

[780] The whoop watch put me on to sleep.

[781] It's helped me sleep better because I finally realized, though, you slept four hours last night.

[782] No wonder you feel like shit.

[783] Right.

[784] So now I'm in contest with whoop.

[785] So I got it up from four and a half hours of sleep to eight hours, pretty much.

[786] Last night I only slept like five because of the flight.

[787] But I'm sleeping eight hours now.

[788] That's great.

[789] Yeah.

[790] Now I'm sleeping 11 .30 to 8.

[791] Don't get me wrong.

[792] once every two weeks I have a little hiccup I go upstairs I think of something I go back down I smoke some pot I read and I go back up and I'm all right but when I was doing comedy there was no sleep Joe do you want me to tell you why why eight cups of espresso a day you know everybody thought I would leave the store because I was going to do something bad do you know I was leaving the store before midnight think Why?

[793] Because Starbucks is open until midnight in Studio City.

[794] And God forbid, I didn't catch my flat white before midnight.

[795] God forbid I didn't catch my Grande flat white before midnight.

[796] And then I'll call you tomorrow and tell you how I didn't sleep last night.

[797] So you would drink coffee late in today?

[798] We would always have espresso after dinner.

[799] Yeah, no. Now I have an espresso at five and I'm not sleeping.

[800] That's so weird.

[801] I could sleep right after having one.

[802] Oh, I loved it because in my world it takes you up.

[803] Yeah.

[804] So you're catching on the way down.

[805] I eat a chocolate something.

[806] I can't fucking sleep that night now.

[807] Really?

[808] I really focused on my sleep the last couple years.

[809] You know, especially since I got this whoop about 16, 17 months ago.

[810] That's what's really improved in my life, is asleep.

[811] And I've been taking naps, too.

[812] If I go to Jiu -Jitsu, I do the Blue Belt class, I need a nap check.

[813] I need a little nap from five to six, you know.

[814] That's where I am.

[815] but when I started popping the Xanax the high point was maybe May of during the pandemic like I couldn't leave the house without popping the Xanax and then when I get in the car I pop another one and they would stay in your system thank God I wasn't drinking and what was that doing for you though what's the feeling like calming me down I can't take sleeping pills and I can't take the strong Zanics so I have to take the little footballs but I was taking and ate the 10 of those motherfuckers a day.

[816] Jesus.

[817] And then when I landed in Jersey, what had happened was, you know how you and Tom had that conversation about my tolerance?

[818] Yeah.

[819] Okay.

[820] That tolerance, dog, I think, as you could tell, I think a lot about this shit.

[821] Yeah.

[822] You had a conversation on me a couple years ago about your Romero getting punched in the face and his eye socket.

[823] And when he got into the green room, when he went, the doctor saw him after the fight, his eye socket was healed.

[824] It was healing.

[825] Healing, okay.

[826] I think about where you were talking about my tolerance with the edibles and stuff.

[827] Now, let's get back to early Joe Diaz.

[828] When I was a child, the doctor would have to come to my house two days in a row for years.

[829] They'd have to shoot me with penicillin on Monday and then come back on Tuesday and shoot me again because I would never take the penicillin.

[830] You know, I had a lot of problems with my throat as a kid and whatever, fucking tonsils and shit.

[831] So I was always in the hospital.

[832] as a kid I was a sickly kid I was about eight all those years Joe they would always have to shoot me two or three times with penicillin the same penicillin they would give you one shot of did have to shoot me so I don't know always had a high tolerance always interesting except for alcohol mm and even alcohol because I could drink something with Jamie right now and I won't fall over I don't want to do it but that's what's always pissed me off about alcohol that I could drink a few alcohol shots feel okay but then if I push the envelope that's when I feel shitty but my tolerance with alcohol and with cocaine and alcohol shit I get a case of Budweiser you know cans so my friend Johnny you had a coke problem I was just to have to take him to the corner store the liquor store to get 40 ounces yeah he would calm himself down with like a big malt liquor that well I would drink he's always trying to like 20 20 beers and it would calm you down so when the Xanax finally what I realized when I got the jersey that year.

[833] I got the jersey August 9th or something on your birth.

[834] August something.

[835] Two days after I got the jersey, I had something like a weird, mild heart attack.

[836] My heart didn't stop pounding.

[837] And that was because the Xanax turned on me. I didn't realize that until I went to the knee surgery.

[838] And one of the assistants caught it because I couldn't sleep.

[839] And they tried to give me something to sleep.

[840] And the chick goes, you're a, withdrawing oh from benzos she goes you're withdrawing naturally that's why your heartbeat's going up that's why you're fucked up it's very dangerous so then she told me you have to flip it so I had to read a journal about this about transitioning you just can't quit you can't quit alcohol and you can't quit benzos yeah there's that you know you could die so what I had to do is take whatever I was eating, which was ate of those things a day, and worked myself backwards.

[841] How long did it take you?

[842] Six months.

[843] Wow.

[844] Worked myself backwards.

[845] Jordan Peterson was fucked up for a year.

[846] Dog.

[847] It fucks with your central nervous system.

[848] You don't have no idea what life is to your central nervous system is fucked with.

[849] Forget cocaine.

[850] Forget all that shit.

[851] And you know, I've done it all.

[852] Yeah.

[853] How's it fuck with you?

[854] Your heart constantly beats.

[855] I'm talking constantly.

[856] You could be watching TV, and you could see it.

[857] You know how scary that is?

[858] You could fucking see it.

[859] So your body's just freaking out that it doesn't have it in the system.

[860] Freaking out.

[861] I had to go on calm support.

[862] I had to change my diet.

[863] So even the sixth month slowly transitioning off, even that was rough?

[864] Oh, really?

[865] Because I had to break them into two parts, the Xanax.

[866] So I would get up in the morning, eat breakfast, work out, and then pop a Xanax.

[867] And then go the whole day.

[868] I'm going to tell you why I did six months.

[869] I would go the whole day without his annex and then pop one at night and deal with it.

[870] Just to help me go to sleep.

[871] But that whole time, I would go to the pool every day.

[872] I would put my feet in the grass and try to, you know, just get me back because it was central nervous system shit.

[873] A lot of tea, a lot of felt off.

[874] Oh, you feel awful.

[875] Awful.

[876] Was it fucking with your comedy?

[877] I wasn't doing comedy, the pandemic.

[878] I was just getting back into it.

[879] It was just starting to open up.

[880] I went and did a parking lot.

[881] I did a, like a, it was outdoor comedy.

[882] Rich Voss told me to go fucking do a parking lot, me him and Jimmy.

[883] Oh my God, there were fucking bats, right?

[884] When, when, it was like in a mall outside of Jersey.

[885] There's a little stage, and you can see the bats flapping behind the comics and shit.

[886] And I told Rich the next way, Rich, what's with all those bats?

[887] He goes, fuck that.

[888] I did a gig last week.

[889] There was a bear behind us.

[890] He goes, I jumped right off the fucking stage.

[891] Jesus Christ.

[892] Those places in Northern Jersey.

[893] Everybody's got a lot of bears.

[894] Everybody's doing those outdoor shows.

[895] So when I was going through all this, it was, I used to just sit on my bed, on my hands, and look straight.

[896] That's all I could do all day.

[897] You couldn't really keep a conversation.

[898] I remember Ari came down once.

[899] I couldn't wait for him to fucking leave.

[900] that's normal though right no that's my brother that's my brother i was happy he brought the dog and the girlfriend of course i'm kidding chinese food it was great but i couldn't wait i couldn't keep eye contact i couldn't fucking do much and i always noticed that after i took the pill that feeling would start again so when i went to the gym in the morning and did all that shit i was fine once i took that zanx i felt like shit and once i took that nighttime zanx i felt like shit and once i took that nighttime zanx i felt like shit and I cut down what's that called when you cut back the little what's that called regression regression and doses I don't know what would have you called I forget you have to cut off you have to shave I know what it is yeah I can't this weed is you have to shave the pill a little bit yeah that's what I did and then I realized one day tapering tapering I got myself uh I got myself uh I got myself what's not a what's the doctor under the doctor a nurse no that a doctor they call them something whatever they can give you prescriptions but they're not really a doctor okay I signed up with one of those and she put me on this plan like just what to eat and do all that stuff and one day I called and I said listen man I got a funny feeling that every time I take these pills it makes me feel worse and she goes why I go because when I go to the gym I'm feeling great I go in there I'm talking with people I'm feeling great and she goes what are you saying i go i'm not stopped taking because i take clonidine already for blood pressure and that stops strokes so i'm just going to stop doing it and i stopped and i never took a zanax again wow that was it but i'll dog i will never eat one of the withdrawal the withdrawal the withdrawal was horrible joe i won't wish on anybody well that's what jordan was saying he had no idea you have no idea they ever listen if i was buying this shit on the street from some kind named fucking Pedro or something, then I would have a problem.

[901] When your doctor gives it to you, you think it's normal.

[902] I did the studying.

[903] Xanax is only prescribed for two weeks.

[904] That's it.

[905] It's for short periods of time until they figure out what to give you.

[906] Whether to give you, whatever the fuck.

[907] How long does it take before your body gets addicted?

[908] I don't know, Joe.

[909] I was living through hell.

[910] There's so many of these creepy medications out there, Joey, that people are just taking.

[911] You know, then there's a medication that people kill themselves.

[912] You know, I don't know if it's even real.

[913] I don't know if it's true.

[914] Well, there's definitely medications with the side effects are suicidal thoughts.

[915] I just didn't want to feel like this ever again.

[916] And, you know, I stopped drinking.

[917] Like, I never really drank, but when I moved to Jersey, I was drinking sangria's when I went out.

[918] And one night I thought I was bad Joe Rogan when I got an Italian old -fashioned.

[919] Oh, my God, Joe.

[920] That set me back fucking.

[921] That was it.

[922] I was done with alcohol after that.

[923] Alcohol is a dangerous one.

[924] Really?

[925] It's a little poison.

[926] A little poison every time, but it's fun.

[927] You know, I always feel bad that I don't drink.

[928] Well, I feel horrible that I don't drink.

[929] Why?

[930] I wish I could be social when I have a red wine, Joe.

[931] I wish I'd go to dinner with you.

[932] Yeah, but it doesn't matter.

[933] No one cares.

[934] It doesn't matter.

[935] Joe, I grew up in the 70s where you walked into somebody's house and people just gave you a drink.

[936] Hi, Joe.

[937] Do you want bourbon?

[938] Yeah.

[939] They don't know.

[940] In the 70s, they didn't add.

[941] They took two cubes.

[942] How cool were those tables?

[943] Yeah.

[944] Like Sinatra.

[945] What's the name?

[946] Do you know when you do the Tonight Show, they would have a cart.

[947] They would pull a fucking bar cart into your green room into your dressing room.

[948] Would you like a drink?

[949] When I did the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, he gets you, gets you booze before you go out there.

[950] I didn't know that.

[951] Yeah, he wants everybody to be laughing.

[952] Have a good time.

[953] What's a joint all fucking, yeah.

[954] Exactly.

[955] Exactly.

[956] Do you see what laughing gas is?

[957] I'm sure Maher probably smokes.

[958] Well, he definitely smokes on his podcast.

[959] Does he?

[960] Jesus Christ, Joe.

[961] What do you got there?

[962] I'm so terrified of that bag.

[963] Bring it to the Greenwood.

[964] Bill Maher, okay.

[965] Keep it in there.

[966] And you got your own bag with the Joe Rogan experience on it?

[967] Thank you.

[968] A beautiful leather bag.

[969] I got you some fucking...

[970] I'm so excited to show you this club.

[971] I'm so...

[972] Bro.

[973] I've heard fucking...

[974] I have people that are non -com This is just a lot of noise on the microphone.

[975] I know.

[976] I'm trying to figure out what you get to smoke next, dog.

[977] Let's look at it.

[978] I got bags everywhere.

[979] Come on, we're good.

[980] What the fuck?

[981] I give nothing to join them.

[982] Here.

[983] Oh no, we got a fucking chocolate mushroom bar.

[984] Laughing guys got it all, Uncle Papa.

[985] They're gonna open up an AC.

[986] They gotta fix the laws in Texas.

[987] that basically marijuana is decriminalized in the city of austin but this the fucking law's dumb and these people don't realize it's dumb because they've got it connected to leftists and hippies it's about freedom there's a lot of ranchers and farmers that like to smoke weed it's great weed's great it makes you love your children more it makes you stare at the stars makes food taste better makes sex feel better you fucking idiots that are making it illegal are ruining the world And they say that it's going to ruin people, yeah, it's going to ruin people, just like cheeseburgers are going to ruin people, and gambling is going to ruin people, and alcohol is going to ruin people.

[988] All those things that are legal and should be legal, because you got to give people the opportunity to fuck up their own life.

[989] You should work on counseling, should give people advice, you should give people some sort of resources where they could get out of any sort of hold they're in, whatever addiction they might have, but you got to leave people the fuck alone.

[990] That's what this country's founded on.

[991] This country's founded on freedom.

[992] And if you don't have the freedom to choose what you put in your own body, especially when we're talking about something that is beneficial, medically, psychologically, physically, not physically addictive, doesn't kill anyone.

[993] The only way you die from it, you literally have to do something stupid because you're high.

[994] If I haven't died from it, ain't nobody going to die from marijuana.

[995] Okay, knock it the fuck for it.

[996] The only time you die, this is a fucking brick of marijuana falls out of the sky and hits you in the head.

[997] But we're still dealing with a bunch of goofy laws.

[998] And I think they keep these laws goofy on purpose.

[999] They keep the culture war going because it's an easy distraction from other things.

[1000] The more things...

[1001] You don't gamble either, right?

[1002] What's that?

[1003] You don't gamble either, right, Jamie?

[1004] There's some gambling here, right?

[1005] They're like poker rooms.

[1006] Okay, but not like...

[1007] Not a casino.

[1008] Casinos are...

[1009] Somewhere in the state.

[1010] Magnets.

[1011] for sick people you know when you go to those casinos in like Connecticut they're like Jesus Christ there's so many people that are just sick a lot of people having a good time just out on a date let's go to the casino play a couple of hands of blackjack seems like a good time but there's a lot of just sick fucking gambling junkies in there just lost when you see them and they have their wheelchairs and they got the oxygen mess and they're still smoking the casino you're like wow you see a lot of those different strokes with different folks hey you You got to let people do that if that's what they want to do.

[1012] How about the chick last week that was winning so much money?

[1013] She just started pissing out the casino.

[1014] Did you see that?

[1015] Their girl just pissed on the fucking seat.

[1016] While she was playing slot machines.

[1017] Bro, she didn't even move.

[1018] She was on the phone.

[1019] She didn't dry her monkey either.

[1020] What a crazy bitch.

[1021] That's disgusting.

[1022] That's a crazy bitch.

[1023] Even me. When I pee in the bottle, I have a little tissue to dry the helmet off.

[1024] Maybe she was on Xanax.

[1025] Yeah, this is her.

[1026] She seems kind of hot, too.

[1027] She looked hot from the side.

[1028] And just piss it.

[1029] so ridiculous ladies wild it's crazy though imagine that you it's not uncommon not that uncommon hold on scroll up scroll scroll look at this regardless of the video's legitimacy urinating on casino florence isn't as uncommon as one might think 2000 oh many people probably did it oh they had adult diapers this guy said the Annie Arnie Wexler rather a recovered problem gambler who operated a New Jersey -based gambling hotline and counseling service at the time told the Louisville Courier Journal that many heavy gamblers donned adult diapers to avoid having to leave a slot machine or gaming table.

[1030] If they don't come prepared, he said.

[1031] They just pee in the seat.

[1032] Oh, my God, you dirty fucks.

[1033] You imagine walking in a casino, you just smell piss.

[1034] You just know so many people have been pissing on the floor, you can smell it.

[1035] Oh, I don't know if I'm ready for...

[1036] diapers I don't know dog well peeing your pants you gotta leave that shit on what would you rather have diapers or be paralyzed I'll take diapers you gotta just deal with it it is what it is you know you can only control you can control you can tell me you're gonna shit in a diaper and sitting it for two hours I don't think the shit thing is this big of an issue I think mostly it's a piss thing incontinence you might you might be shit in your pants a little but it depends on your digestive system and your diet i mean some people have gastral intestinal problems it's horrible that's the worst there's a lot of problems out there in the world though little babies die leukemia you know a lot of problems we're lucky as shit we're we're alive and kicking in 2023 one of the most interesting times to be alive and you and i grew up in a time where there was no internet we got to experience this whole wave of change over the world the erosion of faith in politicians and and medias and an all -time high people are just starting to wake up to how fucking insane this world is organized and run and we're starting to realize that hey you know this is almost over for whoever is listening to this if you're listening to this and you're in your 40s you're halfway there kid all right if you're listening in your 20s if nothing terrible happens to you you don't accidentally overdose on fentanyl you got a solid 60 years left if everything goes great if you're taking care of yourself maybe you'll make it to 90 maybe so I'm 55 so how much time do I have left I'm pretty robust 20 I work out a lot 20 years that's it damn I was hoping for a hundred after that what they're gonna do 150 you really want to be able to be 100 sit there I think I think I'd get even better hmm I think I'd get even better about it at anything I think if you could stay alive for longer you'd make less mistakes you'd understand yourself more they'd be like a value that you could to other people, if you have energy.

[1037] Like, people can learn things from other people that have already experienced life.

[1038] That's why we love hearing stories and hearing wise people talk about things.

[1039] The more I experience life, the more I understand me and other people, and the more I talk to people, the more I understand people, the better I get at it, the better I get it life.

[1040] I really, really, really believe that.

[1041] And I think everybody does, sort of.

[1042] Everybody does in their heart of hearts.

[1043] I feel the same way.

[1044] As long as you don't give up, as long as you don't give up, as long as you don't get cynical, as long as you don't get hateful.

[1045] If you could just stay positive and stay around loving people and be a good person and be someone that people like to be around.

[1046] You can get better all the time.

[1047] You keep getting better at being a human.

[1048] You get better at podcasting.

[1049] You get better at stand -up.

[1050] You get better at everything.

[1051] You once told me something really interesting when you said that your biggest fear was turning old.

[1052] You wanted to be in good shape.

[1053] Yeah.

[1054] And my biggest fear all these years, honest to God.

[1055] It was not dying or anything.

[1056] It was not being, I hate to say this to you, and you're going to understand what I was saying right off the bat.

[1057] People at home might not.

[1058] I didn't want to become one of the comics at the store when we got there.

[1059] I know what you mean.

[1060] I'd rather shoot myself.

[1061] I didn't want to call you when I was 60 and go, dog, I'm taking this cruise.

[1062] I need to come on the podcast to change my life, as we both heard from people.

[1063] Yeah.

[1064] I did not want to be one of those guys.

[1065] And that, That is what I'm proudest of the most.

[1066] I'm proud that I put a book together.

[1067] I'm very proud that I found alternatives.

[1068] That I have to keep bothering people at clubs to put me on.

[1069] Yeah.

[1070] And, you know, well, Joe Rogan sucks.

[1071] Mitchie Shaw never gave me the love I needed.

[1072] I blew off Kennison.

[1073] I don't want to hear that shit.

[1074] Yeah, but those guys, they're always going to exist.

[1075] You know, they're a lesson for you.

[1076] This is a path that you could go down.

[1077] You see that path, it's negative.

[1078] Where we got very lucky, Joey, is that we both experienced, like, you did movies, the longest yard, we did a bunch of stuff.

[1079] We did a bunch of stuff, but then the internet came along right when we were, like, fully developed, like, real comics.

[1080] We were real headliners.

[1081] And then when everybody transitioned into podcasting, and everybody transitioned into, like, YouTube became, like, the best platform for putting out a comedy special and we all learned who's the great comics from listening to each other you know people would talk about have you seen shane gillis holy shit mark norman oh my god that guy's funny and then everybody here and it becomes this organic network but it all happened we got so fortunate that we caught that wave every step of the way at the right time we wrote every wave in every step of the way take the mainstream stuff to use it to transition into putting your stuff online, you realize online is the real mainstream.

[1082] Everybody's addicted their goddamn phone.

[1083] Everybody's on social media.

[1084] Everybody's watching YouTube.

[1085] Everybody's listening to podcasts.

[1086] There's just, it's, we caught that wave every step of the way.

[1087] And that's the same thing with this club.

[1088] Joey, when this, I was not going to open up a fucking club.

[1089] What did I always tell you guys?

[1090] I said, be nice to club owners.

[1091] You don't want to be one of them.

[1092] We need those freaks.

[1093] We need these crazy people that are willing to deal with stand -up comedians every week and hoping that they don't have a fucking overdose after the Friday night show and hoping that they show up for radio at 6 o 'clock in the morning to promote the gig those people are crazy we know them we are them we're all crazy anybody who wants to do stand -up comedies out of their fucking mind you don't want to be a club owner so I was always like be nice to those people I want them to be my friends these are people I work with I want to look forward to see them and hugging them and I don't want to think this guy's fucking me out of money and my bonuses are short all that I don't want to I don't want to be involved in any of that.

[1094] I just want to give everybody a hug.

[1095] Say how out of the wait time.

[1096] What's up?

[1097] What's up?

[1098] I want it to be nice.

[1099] Positive experience.

[1100] You don't want to be a fucking club owner.

[1101] Now I'm a club owner.

[1102] And it came about during the pandemic.

[1103] It was this wild series of opportunities.

[1104] First of all, COVID, me looking at all the chaos in L .A. going, this ain't getting better.

[1105] We're getting the fuck out.

[1106] I had liberal friends calling to borrow guns.

[1107] Like, what?

[1108] No, you can't borrow a gun.

[1109] Jesus fucking Christ.

[1110] There's lines around the gun Do you remember the lines at the gun stores?

[1111] Joey, I was driving through, I think it was Burbank.

[1112] Burbank.

[1113] There was a line.

[1114] Both of them.

[1115] On that Alberta Crane School.

[1116] For people looking to buy guns, they didn't have enough guns to sell people.

[1117] So I was like, I'm getting the fuck out of here.

[1118] And when I got to LA, or got to Austin, rather, I was like, shit, I need a club.

[1119] There's no clubs here.

[1120] We were working out the Vulcan, which was nice, but it wasn't set up as a community.

[1121] It wasn't set up that was like where we could all all be together and hang like we did at the store.

[1122] I was like, Jesus, that's so important for the culture of stand -up.

[1123] It's so important for the comics to have a sense of community.

[1124] And so I was like, all right, I've got to open up a fucking club.

[1125] And at the same time, everybody had been fired from the comedy store.

[1126] The comedy store was shut down.

[1127] Everybody was unemployed.

[1128] So I got all the best people from the store to come here.

[1129] When I got Curtis and Adam and Eric and Jody and Jesus Christ and Kerry Mitchell to run the bar, like, holy shit, man. It was like, this is the dream team.

[1130] Imagine how many people were ready to leave.

[1131] Bro, and Adam Eaget, that guy's the fucking man. Everybody was ready to leave.

[1132] And they come here, and it's so beautiful.

[1133] People are so nice.

[1134] And it all, like, every step of the way, it's like I rode this wave perfect.

[1135] This building that I got, this built, they didn't even want to sell the building.

[1136] It was been one family's owned it for 100 years.

[1137] They didn't want to sell it.

[1138] But they decided, they offered me a price.

[1139] I didn't even negotiate.

[1140] I said, I'll take it.

[1141] And they were just happy that it was going to stay alive, entertainment.

[1142] venue.

[1143] They would worry it was maybe become a hotel or something or a restaurant.

[1144] They wanted to be a live entertainment venue like it always was.

[1145] I want you to go back where you were talking about in L .A. where your liberal friends asking you, that's a good topic you brought up because I always feel that the beginning of my downfall with the fear just wasn't the pandemic.

[1146] I'm not scared to fucking die from a fucking cold.

[1147] It wasn't the pandemic, but the pandemic was fuck with me. The thing that fucked with me the most was what my neighborhood had become.

[1148] Yeah.

[1149] And not from you telling me. You know how people tell your shit?

[1150] No, no. What I saw.

[1151] Yeah.

[1152] And once I see something, that's it.

[1153] I don't give a fuck when anybody tells me. I saw a guy get hit by a four -by -four.

[1154] Oh.

[1155] At the bus station in North Hollywood.

[1156] We drove by thousands of times.

[1157] I saw a guy hitting people with a four -by -four, not a two -by -four.

[1158] Who leaves the house with a four -by -four?

[1159] Jesus Christ.

[1160] Okay?

[1161] I saw a fucking.

[1162] And CVS, Studio City, I saw a white guy and an African -American hooker fighting at CBS at 10 in the morning in Studio City.

[1163] I've been going to that fucking thing for five years at CVS.

[1164] That's why I got all my prescriptions and shit.

[1165] I saw like three or four things.

[1166] Then I had the glass door in my house.

[1167] So I kept feeling that they were going to kick the front door in.

[1168] So I went right to the Armenian, and I'm like, dog, I need a gun.

[1169] We ain't got time to stand out line in Burbank.

[1170] And he brought me like a fucking 45 with a bazook and shit.

[1171] And I gave him like two grand.

[1172] I go, don't come back without a gun.

[1173] Wow.

[1174] This motherfucker came back three days later with like a fucking AR -15 in a suitcase with a violin.

[1175] I'm like, oh, my God.

[1176] So now one thing I don't like, I do not like weapons.

[1177] I'll shoot you.

[1178] But I don't want to have a weapon.

[1179] I can't have a weapon.

[1180] You don't want to want to have a weapon, right?

[1181] You don't want to feel that you need to have a weapon, though?

[1182] No. You worry that just the energy of it?

[1183] Yeah, you don't want to feel like you.

[1184] I messed around weapons for years.

[1185] You know, I got in trouble with a weapon.

[1186] And I always said that when I put weapons on, I met more people that had weapons on.

[1187] Do you follow I'm saying to you?

[1188] When I was a civilian, hugging people, I never felt a weapon.

[1189] When I put a weapon on in 86, for three years after I got arrested, most people I dealt with had a weapon.

[1190] So I considered a magnet.

[1191] It was a, for me, in my mind, it felt like a magnet of fucking bad shit.

[1192] Those two guns I had in the house, they didn't feel right with me. You weren't going to bust into my house and, you know, hurt my daughter or my wife.

[1193] But having those two weapons in the house did not feel good.

[1194] California is very creepy laws when it comes to that, too.

[1195] I didn't give a fuck about the laws.

[1196] I will get rid of that gun before the cops even get there.

[1197] Trust me. I had 10 neighbors that were cool as shit.

[1198] Take the, like, I got an O .J. Where'd O .J. shit go to?

[1199] You got neighbors.

[1200] Yeah.

[1201] You got neighbors.

[1202] I killed the bitch, hide the fucking shirt.

[1203] Whatever.

[1204] I just didn't like it.

[1205] I didn't like having that weapon.

[1206] I didn't like having her 45 in my car.

[1207] And then on the day, I flew back here.

[1208] I'll never forget that I had that.

[1209] I gave him back the AR.

[1210] And I had the 9 -millimeter, the 45.

[1211] And the people called me and they're like, are you bringing a weapon with you on the plane?

[1212] Because I flew on a private plane.

[1213] During COVID, I had the cats and shit, you know?

[1214] So I go, yeah, I'm going to bring the gun with me. And that night I said, no. And I gave it to Brett.

[1215] I called him the next one.

[1216] I go, come pick up this fucking 45 from me. He still has it.

[1217] He's holding it for me. I don't want it.

[1218] I didn't like that fear.

[1219] Yeah.

[1220] When I saw Latin Kings, spray paint on my daughter's school Cofax Elementary same school Bert sent his kids that wasn't good I just saw a lot of shit up there that I would never saw in the valley you see it in Hollywood you know shit like that so that's good that you brought that up because I forgot how scary it was it was scary for a few weeks it got very strange because it got different it felt like everybody was more on edge I saw a bunch of looting so it was crazy like someone broke into this clothes store It smashed the windows and ran into it, and we were by this target, and these people had blocked the door of the target with a dumpster and lit the dumpster on fire.

[1221] And they were telling everybody to get out of the building, put down whatever you're purchasing, run out of the exit right now.

[1222] It got real weird with all that Antifa stuff.

[1223] It got very strange.

[1224] People were emboldened to do things.

[1225] And after the George Floyd death, when it was the riots and they lit the cops.

[1226] cars on fire there was this real feeling this real fuck the police we're gonna do whatever the fuck we want and no one's gonna stop it and the police seemed hesitant to do things too and that got that was when I was like check please I was like this is not the place these no one here is you got to recognize when things are changing and when they're not going to get better because there's no resources in place there's no leadership in place there's no if you're defunding the police that is a totally wrong approach to deal with an excess of crime.

[1227] What you need is better funding and you need better training and better people as police officers and better respect for police officers.

[1228] You need to have an understanding that they're very, very necessary.

[1229] And one of the things that people found is that as soon as crime starts fucking scaling up, in every city people are calling for the cops, even politicians in San Francisco that were actively saying we should defund the police.

[1230] They were tweeting we should defund the police.

[1231] Then the crime starts kicking up, they're like, we can't even get the cops to come out.

[1232] Like, why do you think that is?

[1233] That's crazy.

[1234] Maybe it's because you defunded them.

[1235] I mean, you're out of your fucking mind.

[1236] Like, do you think that somehow or another having less police equals less crime?

[1237] Like, that's the dumbest scenario.

[1238] Like, how would you, what do you think everybody's going to get kumbaya on you?

[1239] No, you're just going to emboldened criminals and you're going to terrify people.

[1240] And then you're going to, things are going to scale worse and worse.

[1241] And if you keep doing the same thing to try to fix it, it's never going to get better.

[1242] That's what you're seeing in Portland.

[1243] That's where you've seen in San Francisco.

[1244] It just keeps getting worse, and it's chaotic.

[1245] You ever go to a fucking club, like a club, and they're playing, like, disco music, and also some fat fuck like me yells, put on Skinnerd.

[1246] And nobody listens, like, people like, look that idiot.

[1247] When I heard the term, debunked the police, that's what it felt like.

[1248] Defund the police, yeah.

[1249] Defund the police.

[1250] Put on Skinnerd until people started saying, that's a great idea.

[1251] And you're like, what the fuck?

[1252] And that's what was going on.

[1253] Too many people were yelling, put on Skinner, with different.

[1254] and ideas at that point yeah and you're like what do you mean dog listen let's get something straight you're gonna hear this from me one fucking time I was born a nice kid somewhere along the line I lost my fucking way somewhere along the line when you suffer a traumatic experience when you're a young man you stay stuck for a few years or a young woman you stay stuck that's why women become you know they have they become what is that word prostitutes no proxia when you're when you like the fuck the proximity whatever that fucking words.

[1255] Nipfomaniacs?

[1256] No, that's not the word is promiscuous.

[1257] Oh.

[1258] You know, when you suffer a dad or a mom or a grandmother you would tie with, you get stalled for a couple years.

[1259] I'm not making excuses.

[1260] These are all proven things.

[1261] You've got to read this shit.

[1262] You just don't grow until the reality comes to you of what happened.

[1263] You're still in shock when your mom dies or your father dies.

[1264] And somewhere along the line, I went off the rails.

[1265] And I'm sorry for that.

[1266] I never disrespect to the cop, Joe.

[1267] and all the stories I tell you you never hear any disrespect of a police officer never well you knew cops that the fuck that that's part of it too you know who raised me when I was a young kid PAL PAL police athletic league on 88 street in Amsterdam I grew up in that that's where I learned how to shoot pool that's where I learned how to shoot guns they took you to the 25th precinct and you shot at targets they took you to the park I was a big P .L guy.

[1268] Then I moved to Jersey.

[1269] Fucking baddest P .A .L. Boxing coach, Cuban coach, Mr. Gamio.

[1270] I never trained him.

[1271] He didn't like me. But I knew his sons and his kids, you know.

[1272] But P .A .L. Mr. Marino, that dude used to drive us everywhere.

[1273] Again, he didn't like me too much.

[1274] Why did you like you?

[1275] Because I was like, you know, something.

[1276] I don't know.

[1277] Once I got the Jersey, I hung out with a rough crew or something.

[1278] At that age, they didn't like me in Biddy basketball, so I didn't play in Union City.

[1279] But I always had respect to the PAL.

[1280] And all those years, I always knew they had a job to do.

[1281] And I was trying to be a criminal.

[1282] I can't take it out on them.

[1283] Right.

[1284] You never heard me say bad shit about cops.

[1285] In fact, in 60 years, the only cop I've had a problem with is one of the guys that arrested me in Boulder.

[1286] In fact, the other dude, I just wished him a happy birthday.

[1287] James Kohler was his birthday on Wednesday or Tuesday on Facebook.

[1288] I follow with friends on Facebook.

[1289] Oh, that's hilarious.

[1290] So that was the only cop.

[1291] So for a guy like me to only have a problem with one real cop in all those years, got to tell you something.

[1292] So when I heard that debunked the fucking cops, defund.

[1293] The fund.

[1294] Go fuck yourself.

[1295] It's so ridiculous.

[1296] You're the same motherfuckers that are going to be crying for the same cops to come to your house in five years.

[1297] 100%.

[1298] And then they were talking about having people come over to your house and just talking to you, like, during, you know, two safety officers.

[1299] And now this shit that they're doing with bailes.

[1300] It's crazy.

[1301] It's almost like they want everything to fall apart.

[1302] This is like something that you hear.

[1303] Yeah, we're going to have bail reform.

[1304] You're like, okay, yeah, I'll put on skin it again.

[1305] Yeah.

[1306] Bail reform.

[1307] So what you're telling me is right now they have a huge problem in New Jersey with stolen cars.

[1308] And these motherfuckers got it down to a science.

[1309] They're stealing them and they take them right to the port in Newark.

[1310] There's no more middlemen.

[1311] You know, in L .A., they got the Armenians chopping up car.

[1312] They just take them right to the port.

[1313] You could see it on the GPS of your car.

[1314] They take them right to Newark.

[1315] They're waiting for the car.

[1316] They know where you live.

[1317] They know it's a half hour in Newark.

[1318] The ship is there.

[1319] And where do they bring them?

[1320] They take them to whatever.

[1321] Brazil to start a new currency.

[1322] I don't know where the fuck they take them.

[1323] But my point is that when those guys get arrested, they're out the next day.

[1324] Yeah.

[1325] And half of the shit that's going on, people are out the next day.

[1326] Again.

[1327] Did you see the thing, the shoplifting statistics about New York?

[1328] Of all of the shoplifting, it's like 600 people, and they've been arrested thousands of times.

[1329] Thousands of times.

[1330] See if you can find the statistics, because it's so crazy, you can't believe that that's really it.

[1331] In New York, it takes two cops to arrest you.

[1332] So here it is.

[1333] Okay.

[1334] Oh, excuse me. Only 327 people, collectively, they were arrested and re -arrested more than 6 ,000 times.

[1335] Some engage in shoplifting as a trade while others are.

[1336] are driven by addiction or mental illness.

[1337] The police did not identify the 327 people in the analysis.

[1338] 327 people.

[1339] Hey, maybe you should lock those folks up and you'd stop all of the shoplifting.

[1340] The idea that you shouldn't do that is so fucking...

[1341] Do you understand how cities work?

[1342] Do you understand how law and order works?

[1343] Do you understand how peace works?

[1344] You need peace officers.

[1345] If you don't have peace officers, bad people are going to run amok and they're not going to listen.

[1346] This has been the case in all of human history.

[1347] I mean, we know what the fucking equation is.

[1348] It's not that all cops are bad, is that there are some bad cops, and they should be exposed, and they should have better training, and they should be better funded, and they should be appreciated.

[1349] And maybe if they're more appreciated, there would be less of this.

[1350] And maybe we should figure out why the crime is happening in these cities in the first place.

[1351] Maybe figure out why these disenfranchised communities are the same every fucking year, decade after decade, with no federal funding, why we ship billions of dollars over to Ukraine.

[1352] And what did we spend in Afghanistan?

[1353] What do we spend?

[1354] Come on.

[1355] This is, it's not like you can't like make some real steps to fix this nationwide as a country.

[1356] But defunding the police is not one of them.

[1357] Not one of them.

[1358] That's a dumb way to approach it.

[1359] Punishment is so fucking important.

[1360] Yeah.

[1361] I understand a slap in the wrist.

[1362] I got a ton of them.

[1363] And what did that do?

[1364] Nothing.

[1365] What did that do?

[1366] All those slaps on the wrist, that was cool.

[1367] probation, write a letter.

[1368] No, no, no. What did they do?

[1369] What did they do?

[1370] They let me run amok from 1983 to 1988 when I got busted.

[1371] I wish I would have got arrested once and for all.

[1372] But all those stupidity things that I was doing, whether I was in San Francisco, I got arrested in all those places.

[1373] But they were dumb enough to let me out.

[1374] What did you get arrested for?

[1375] it doesn't matter you know stupid shit theft of over $200 possession of stolen tools possession of this you know only one weed possession that was my first that was my second arrest was weed and I got a six month probation which had a half ounce on me I get it I paid a fine a buck and a quarter or something like that did it defray me that deter me from getting high no no you know I wish they nail you, and that sentence that that judge gave me, that's a sentence they got to give people.

[1376] Zero to four years, reconsideration after a year.

[1377] If you really do it, just to show you the bowels of what it is.

[1378] If after a year I don't reconsider you, pretty much you're going to be in there for the rest of your fucking life.

[1379] You take somebody, you punish them heavy the first time, and then you see what direction they go.

[1380] One thing, when I walked out of that prison cell, I knew I was going to still do coke and Joe, I knew I was still going to steal.

[1381] I just knew I had to change my ways a little bit.

[1382] I knew I knew I wasn't going back in there.

[1383] This goes back to shoplifting.

[1384] When you shoplift, they have theft over 200 and theft under 200.

[1385] And in different states, different counties, it's all different.

[1386] I don't know what it is.

[1387] Well, now in places, it's like $900.

[1388] Yeah, 900.

[1389] So people are just walking out of stores and no one's stopping them.

[1390] Exactly.

[1391] So it used to be that I could go to a place, a supermarket and try to rob a fucking lobster tail for $100 and they give me a ticket.

[1392] A ticket.

[1393] I'll live with a ticket all day long.

[1394] I'll take that ticket and shove it up my ass.

[1395] It's me going down to the station, getting processed, fingerprinted.

[1396] That's what deters you.

[1397] That's the shit that deters you, Joe.

[1398] And that's what they're not understanding.

[1399] They don't have enough programs for people.

[1400] Listen, when you go to prison in this country, all you're doing is warehousing me and put me back out.

[1401] You warehouse me with guys that are smarter than me and now gave me new ways to make money, to steal.

[1402] If I was stealing with a gun before, now they taught me how to steal with a computer.

[1403] What do you think is going to happen?

[1404] There's no programs in there.

[1405] They don't talk to you.

[1406] They don't give a fuck.

[1407] It's up to you to give a fuck.

[1408] There's no Chinese food in prison.

[1409] There's no fucking tons of things in prison, And so I didn't belong there.

[1410] So I didn't, I know I wasn't going to go back.

[1411] Knock on wood.

[1412] I stayed out.

[1413] But think about the people who weren't as lucky as me. The percentages.

[1414] The percentages are horrible.

[1415] The percentages of most men who grow up in crime -ridden neighborhoods are horrible.

[1416] It's very, it's very hard to get out.

[1417] You've got to find something, whether it's music or entertainment or sports or something.

[1418] You might have a wild idea for a business that can't.

[1419] catches on, but Jesus Christ, the odds are stacked against you.

[1420] The odds are stacked against.

[1421] And what happens when you do get convicted with that felony?

[1422] I can't do nothing.

[1423] Still, to this day, I can't do anything, Joe.

[1424] I can't go get a retirement job at Costco.

[1425] I can't volunteer at Costco.

[1426] I can't get a volunteer's job at a fucking rec center, maybe helping taking old people out to a movie or something like that just to give back to the community.

[1427] I can't do that.

[1428] Can't do that.

[1429] That liquidated me from anything.

[1430] I found out the last three years how worthless I really was.

[1431] That's why I sell wheat.

[1432] The last three years, why sell the last three years?

[1433] Because I was always looking for options.

[1434] Like, what else can I do in my life that would maybe, you know, whatever?

[1435] Just what can I do?

[1436] Maybe go back to school, anything.

[1437] I don't know.

[1438] I'm always interested in learning more.

[1439] I fucking don't remember any history.

[1440] So you're just thinking about doing it just as an interesting thing to do, like a new adventure?

[1441] Yeah, like maybe go back to school or something, take online classes, something.

[1442] I love to fucking learn all this shit I blew away the last 30 years.

[1443] You know, I didn't read what I used to read as a child.

[1444] I didn't read geography, I didn't read history.

[1445] I read, you know, books, you know, fucking stupid books.

[1446] So I'd love to take classes again or something like that.

[1447] But anything, I have no options.

[1448] I could never do anything with that felony.

[1449] is that the is that the fucking thing you should be sending yeah it doesn't mean just if someone pays their price and does their time I feel like they should just if as long as they're not doing anything else as long as they're not committing more crimes they should be a regular member of society no let me explain something to you in my world for me to get to where I got when I walked out of that prison cell I became a regular member of society but imagine if you're 20 years old and you do something stupid and you get locked up for it and then you are no longer a voting member of society.

[1450] I was 25.

[1451] Yeah.

[1452] I was 25.

[1453] Yeah.

[1454] 1987, I'm 24.

[1455] 1988, I'm 25, Joe.

[1456] Yeah.

[1457] I got out when I was 27, 20, 27 and a half maybe.

[1458] And, God, thank God I could sell.

[1459] Thank God I could fucking sell ice to a fucking Eskimo.

[1460] You know, thank God you have that skill.

[1461] At least you could sell cars or insurance or whatever.

[1462] can't get registered.

[1463] I can't work at the stocks.

[1464] I could always be like you're a stock broker.

[1465] I could always make call calls for you and shit like that.

[1466] But in my world, I didn't want to go back.

[1467] What was I going to do?

[1468] What are you going to do?

[1469] I can't even be an acupuncturist.

[1470] That probably makes a lot of people go back to crime.

[1471] Exactly.

[1472] People give up.

[1473] When I found that, I didn't do background checks at comedy clubs, how fucking happy was I?

[1474] And that was still skeptical and then it was one guy that saved my life Tim Allen.

[1475] Tim Allen I was just going to say that when I heard the Tim Allen did boom yeah boom I'm like okay and the middle motherfucker got on Disney and I'm like okay I just want to get to the comedy store I don't want to get on Disney I don't want to go on NBC let me ask you this what happened to you where you figured out how to be funny on stage because you were always okay on stage but you would have some rough sets and then there was one day it was one day in the OR you were telling stories backstage you know we'd have that little back parking lot area you were telling stories and you went on stage just fucking guns blazing and you murdered harder than I'd ever seen you kill before I was like this is crazy it's like a different person like you were stiff on stage before you're like I you didn't like that joke, all right.

[1476] And you go into another joke, and, like, you had a joke and a joke.

[1477] And then one day, you went on stage just guns blazing, and it was not, I was tell everybody, it wasn't like it was a slow, gradual he got better.

[1478] It was like you were here, and then boom.

[1479] Bro, you get punched in the face one too many times.

[1480] And after one punch, you go, that's it.

[1481] I'm not doing this.

[1482] And I just want to tell you something, because I talked to Harvey about this.

[1483] If, well, I'm definitely going to do 10 minutes tonight to fuck around with you.

[1484] I have a plan, Joe.

[1485] If you know anything about me, you know I always got a plan.

[1486] You got plans.

[1487] I always got a plan.

[1488] For me to do stand -up again, I don't want to travel.

[1489] I'll come down here, do a residency down here for you.

[1490] Whatever the fuck you want, storyteller, whatever you want.

[1491] I got no problem with that.

[1492] I don't want to hang dates all over me. That gives me a lot of anxiety.

[1493] And I don't want to be doing anything else for the first time.

[1494] If I go back to comment, I told Ari this.

[1495] I go, Ari, because Ari says you might not do a podcast no more.

[1496] And I go, you're done.

[1497] Ari's so silly.

[1498] I go, if you don't want to do it, don't do it.

[1499] Just focus on stand -up for the next five years.

[1500] Because he's about to turn 48 or something.

[1501] I go, it's just too stand -up for the next five years.

[1502] Nothing else.

[1503] Right.

[1504] No podcasting, no films.

[1505] You don't have to worry about anything.

[1506] And he goes, you know, you got a good point because I wrote the new special when I couldn't edit no more, that fucking this is not happening show.

[1507] you've always spoken about this, just do stand -up.

[1508] Yeah.

[1509] When I got to L .A., I was there just to do stand -up.

[1510] But then everybody started throwing all these things at me, and I got confused.

[1511] And then I realized I'm at the store.

[1512] I came here to do stand -up, and that's what we are.

[1513] I think even now, the stand -up comic is too...

[1514] We're all over the place now.

[1515] We used to just do stand -up.

[1516] We used to just do stand -up.

[1517] They got comics doing everything now.

[1518] It's great, but it takes away from who the fuck we really are.

[1519] Well, when I was doing Fear Factor, I didn't tour hardly at all.

[1520] Because I was really working a lot.

[1521] It was a lot of hours.

[1522] And I was mostly just doing the store.

[1523] And I remember hearing about people that were doing the road and I'd get jealous.

[1524] I was hearing about people who were just doing stand -up and I would get jealous.

[1525] But I also knew I was very fortunate.

[1526] And I also knew like, hey, man, not a lot of people get a hit television show.

[1527] Like, you got to keep doing this.

[1528] Like, this is money that you could literally do whatever the fuck you want now.

[1529] You could, like, literally not ever worry about money.

[1530] That's a giant thing to have.

[1531] So I was like, okay.

[1532] But I remember thinking, man, all these guys are just doing stand -up.

[1533] It looks like so much fun.

[1534] I would talk to dudes after they did Thursday, Friday's Saturdays and Sundays, and they'd come to the store on Tuesday.

[1535] And I'd be like, where were you?

[1536] They were like, oh, I was in Columbus.

[1537] How was it?

[1538] Oh, it was fucking great.

[1539] Saturday night, the fucking show was so good.

[1540] They're telling stories and this and that.

[1541] I'm like, oh, your hour gets so tight.

[1542] You know, you roll in Thursday with a new joke.

[1543] By the time Saturday late show, it's fucking crack.

[1544] And I'm like, but if all I was able to do is, like, do like weeknights and weekends occasionally at the store.

[1545] But I really didn't have the time of travel.

[1546] Well, at least you did that.

[1547] I think of all the guys that came to L .A. as good stand -ups, got a job on a team.

[1548] TV show and say, fuck stand up.

[1549] Yeah.

[1550] And they got caught up in the TV show and then they never did stand up again.

[1551] And that's one thing I always really respected about you.

[1552] And I told people all the time, I go, in the height of this game, this motherfucker would still do his 1045 on a Friday night.

[1553] After he just grabbed a huge paycheck all week on some TV show there was news radio or the other one, you'd never be late for your Friday night spot.

[1554] And that's character.

[1555] That built a lot of, that made me, uh, It inspired me. Like this guy doesn't give a fuck because nine out of ten comics they'll tell you how much they love comedy once they got on a TV show, it's over.

[1556] They're not coming down there again.

[1557] And I get it.

[1558] I get it.

[1559] But you didn't really love comedy the whole time.

[1560] Do you know what I'm saying?

[1561] Yeah.

[1562] You've always, and that's what I like about stand -up.

[1563] I don't have to travel, Joe.

[1564] I could just shoot into the stand three nights a week, do 15.

[1565] And you know how you prove it It's really the stand -up.

[1566] It's because, like, the store wasn't even giving you any money.

[1567] Like, would you get, like, $25?

[1568] Yeah, $15.

[1569] $15 for a 15 -minute set.

[1570] We weren't doing it for money.

[1571] No. We were doing it to work on stand -up.

[1572] I enjoyed being broke.

[1573] It was accepting, I was accepted at that time as being broke.

[1574] You accept being broke for the fucking honor to come here on two or five nights a week.

[1575] That's what you switch.

[1576] You give away that to take that.

[1577] And think about it for people watching.

[1578] this right now.

[1579] How much the stand -up mean to you where you don't even care about money?

[1580] I didn't care what happened to me at that time.

[1581] I didn't care where I slept.

[1582] When I would go on the road, what do you think I had a fucking, you know, who shows to an open mic on a Lamborghini?

[1583] You know what I'm saying?

[1584] Nobody, right?

[1585] Nobody's funny.

[1586] You know?

[1587] No. Nobody shows up to an open mic and Lamborghini.

[1588] Nobody.

[1589] One kid, what I started with, he had a rich, what he called those rich hot mommas he had?

[1590] Oh, he had a sugar mama?

[1591] Yeah, he had a sugar mama.

[1592] This kid was horrible.

[1593] He did impersonations, but it was all one.

[1594] His resume, you opened it up, his bio, was a living 3D resume.

[1595] Whoa.

[1596] She had made like 100 copies of this fucking book that came out.

[1597] It was him as Tony Montana, and him as like Charlie Chan and all these.

[1598] And that was his name.

[1599] He's probably even not in the business anymore.

[1600] But his name, it was like, thing, the man of a thousand voices.

[1601] But in Denver, they said, but you only heard one.

[1602] And I still remember him going down to the comedy works.

[1603] One of the best clubs in the country at that time.

[1604] This is 94.

[1605] And him doing an open mic and me doing an open mic.

[1606] And me like doing okay.

[1607] But he just going bomb.

[1608] And he would come off the stage.

[1609] This is how crazy comedy is.

[1610] And he would have his tape recorder, the old ones, and he would be pounding it.

[1611] And I go, what's the matter?

[1612] And he goes, this fucking tape recorder, don't pick up the laughter.

[1613] And I go, oh, my God.

[1614] You know how many times?

[1615] this guy would call me up after that.

[1616] Like, I left, I was living in Seattle.

[1617] And he go, I got to ask you a question.

[1618] He goes, I just got down to coconuts.

[1619] He booked me as a headliner.

[1620] And then after the first night, he booked me to a feature.

[1621] He demoted me. Now I'm the MC, and I'm seating people.

[1622] Should I stay?

[1623] Because in coconuts, you had to seat people if you were the MC.

[1624] You didn't know that?

[1625] No. Those chains in Florida, I don't even think they're still open.

[1626] This is how far long ago it was.

[1627] So when you worked at coconuts, if you were the MC, you had to seat people.

[1628] He got hired as a head.

[1629] When he got there on Tuesday, he was the headliner.

[1630] He ate such a bag of shit on Tuesday.

[1631] They met him the fucking feature on Wednesday.

[1632] He ate such a bag of shit on Wednesday.

[1633] They made him the MC on it.

[1634] That's how bad this guy was.

[1635] But he was filthy rich.

[1636] The chick would get him suits and lights and unbelievable.

[1637] He had a fucking, he had a guy on stage already.

[1638] He has an open micer.

[1639] He already had a sound guy.

[1640] The people you fucking meet in this struggle, my friend.

[1641] I know.

[1642] It's interesting when you stay with them the whole time.

[1643] One of the interesting things about being good friends with Greg Fitzsimmons is that we literally started out a week apart from each other.

[1644] So we were there for all these crazy shows.

[1645] We were there in a car once, and we were driving to this gig, and we're with this guy, and we're just talking about different stuff.

[1646] And this guy was this little feeble guy with glasses.

[1647] And, you know, we're talking about, like one guy was complaining about his girlfriend, And she does this.

[1648] He goes, well, my woman insists that I put a dildo in my ass.

[1649] We're like, what?

[1650] You put a dildo in your ass?

[1651] It's like, yep, yep.

[1652] She wants me to do it.

[1653] And it's not bad.

[1654] We're just in the car driving.

[1655] And to this day, Greg and I will talk about that and just fucking cry laughing.

[1656] We're like, what the fuck are you saying?

[1657] She does what to you?

[1658] Like, those people, they're insane people.

[1659] You mean like literal insane people The open mic world is a fucking fantastic world And it's funny as shit too It would be a great sitcom Yes it is like a single camera Like a you know Like a Louie style Come on look at let's just talk about The Sunday nights at the store when we were there When I used to host The 7 o 'clock, the 9 The open mic Yeah and I quit Because there's too much walking up and down the stairs Three fucking minutes I'm up and down And I brought 8 ,000 calories.

[1660] So then she gave me 10 to 12.

[1661] But that helped you a lot, too, because you got loose, like fucking around in between the acts and, you know, making fun of things.

[1662] Well, right there, I was working really closer to Mitzie.

[1663] And Mitsy was a confidence builder.

[1664] You know that.

[1665] She didn't even have to give you a note.

[1666] If you went up with her and killed, you got better.

[1667] Yeah.

[1668] Because the first couple times in front of Mitzie, you were always like kind of gawky.

[1669] Yeah.

[1670] So the more you go up in front of Mitzie on a Sunday, the more confidence you get.

[1671] And I still remember going somewhere like 2002, like Indianapolis, Notre Dame in Indiana.

[1672] They used to have a comedy club there, a funny bone.

[1673] And I was dating that crazy chick from Missa Walker from Michigan.

[1674] And I'll never forget, like 2000, maybe like 2000.

[1675] And I'll never forget that I went there for a fucking showcase.

[1676] And I'm not the type of guy that would open his mouth like that.

[1677] He told me, come on Sunday and do 10.

[1678] And if you're funny, I'll bring you back.

[1679] I'm like, okay, and I went down.

[1680] And after the, I did great.

[1681] I did great.

[1682] But afterward, he was like, well, I don't like, and I stopped him.

[1683] I go, oh, stop.

[1684] I don't mean any disrespect.

[1685] I perform in front of Mitchie short, fucking three times a week.

[1686] Shut the fuck up.

[1687] You ain't going to give me no fucking note, Tarzan.

[1688] You're in Notre Dame.

[1689] You don't know dick about dick.

[1690] I really did.

[1691] He was a great guy.

[1692] We both laughed about it.

[1693] But in my mind, And I had that confidence in my heart.

[1694] Like, save it, bitch.

[1695] I'm in front of Mitzi.

[1696] Yeah.

[1697] Save, go fuck yourself.

[1698] She was the ultimate mentor.

[1699] She was.

[1700] And that she gave me, that was the other thing.

[1701] Like, she just, you know, when you're in front of her a lot and she don't have to say nothing to you.

[1702] Just you killing in front of her?

[1703] That's it.

[1704] I'm wearing my dick on my fucking shirt.

[1705] I don't give a fuck.

[1706] She also was the very best at taking comics and putting them in dangerous spots, taking people and putting them after people.

[1707] that they really probably shouldn't be following.

[1708] Me?

[1709] Yeah, with all of us.

[1710] She would put me after I Rera or that fucking dude.

[1711] I've told you a thousand times.

[1712] I still have nightmares about that dude.

[1713] What's that is?

[1714] The brother with the dreads.

[1715] God damn.

[1716] I just, dog, I still have nightmares.

[1717] This is driving me nuts.

[1718] You're killing me. I can't remember his name.

[1719] Me neither.

[1720] Great kid.

[1721] We'll figure it out.

[1722] I can't even figure out what to tell Jamie to find him.

[1723] Yeah.

[1724] God damn it.

[1725] It's just weed.

[1726] It's a real problem.

[1727] These 420 shows.

[1728] Bro, don't blend on the weed.

[1729] I could pull his name out if I didn't have the way of me. God damn.

[1730] Two alpha brains, I'll fucking pull his name out.

[1731] I just saw T .K. Kirkland.

[1732] Oh, shit.

[1733] On a podcast with, I was dying a laughter with that motherfucker.

[1734] Godfrey.

[1735] Oh.

[1736] Godfrey and T .K. Kirkland.

[1737] I remember T .K. Kirkland from the store, early days.

[1738] Early days.

[1739] He was always talking about him.

[1740] Yeah, I liked him a lot.

[1741] I liked him.

[1742] Have you seen Eddie Griffin?

[1743] What was the last time you saw Eddie?

[1744] I see him online.

[1745] I haven't seen him in forever.

[1746] I want to see him.

[1747] messages, he won't return like messages.

[1748] I liked, if he wasn't funny, he'd give you a big hug.

[1749] Dog.

[1750] I always love that.

[1751] Listen, I think that you and Eddie, and regardless of what you might say, could be a good podcast for three hours.

[1752] I would talk to Eddie Griffin for three hours.

[1753] I think, come on.

[1754] Dog, how about the night we're behind the comedy store?

[1755] Tell these motherfuckers what he said to you.

[1756] I much that Bruce Lee, four of a thousand guys.

[1757] I was there with you.

[1758] So I can't, I can't, you can't, you can repeat this because I was there with you.

[1759] I remember we walked the pink dot We walked the pink dot and you're like I don't know I don't know about it Well he just loved telling stories And it didn't even matter if the story was true Did Bruce Lee fight a thousand guys Remember what was I don't know what the fuck it was It was so ridiculous But you heard it too Yeah I mean the whole thing is happening While I'm working for the ultimate fighting championship He's telling me about how Bruce Lee fought a thousand people And I'm like what the fuck you're talking about man He was an actor Bruce Lee is an innovator in martial arts a hero.

[1760] He was an amazing guy, but no, he didn't find a thousand people.

[1761] It was one guy, and he hit him with a punch.

[1762] Because I still remember that speech.

[1763] It was three in the morning.

[1764] I was a little fucked up.

[1765] But I would listen to that speech all day long, man. Eddie Griffin would describe to you in detail how they built the pyramids.

[1766] Let me tell you about Eddie Griffin.

[1767] Eddie Griffin was there.

[1768] I introduced myself to Eddie Griffin the first night I walked into the originals.

[1769] The first night I ever walked into the store was a Monday, and Eddie was there with Tupac.

[1770] Not Tupac.

[1771] Tumach, the kid who was in The Last Dragon.

[1772] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Last Dragon.

[1773] Okay, I'm the show going to haul him.

[1774] He was in there with him.

[1775] There was eight people in the audience, Bruce Leroy, Bruce Leroy.

[1776] Dom Barris was hosting, Wheels was there, and that was in on a Monday night.

[1777] And I want, Dom Barris put me up out of a favor to nobody, to himself, and Eddie saw me. Didn't say nothing to me, but then I got a showcase.

[1778] And Eddie was there.

[1779] And he told me that night, I'm going to sit next to Mitzie.

[1780] He's a good dude.

[1781] He sat next to Mitzie when I was on stage, so no motherfuckers would talk to her.

[1782] Yeah, and they would laugh.

[1783] The Todd did that for me. People would tell you to do that, too.

[1784] Yeah.

[1785] Like, if guys you knew that were going to showcase, you'd sit next to Mitzie and laugh.

[1786] He was good to me. And then I bumped him to him to plane one time.

[1787] This is before 9 -11 when you could do whatever fuck you want on a plane.

[1788] And I moved up to first class with him.

[1789] He goes, just sit here.

[1790] stay here with me. And that was how I met Eddie.

[1791] And I gave him a picture of Bruce Lee's grave.

[1792] I had taken.

[1793] Wow.

[1794] And ever since that, we just hit it off.

[1795] And he would always throw me little bones.

[1796] And he would bump me for fucking six hours.

[1797] But I never really got mad at him for that.

[1798] His set on Def Jam to this day was one of the, at the time, I remember thinking, God damn, this guy's talented.

[1799] Remember he had shorts on?

[1800] Do you remember that?

[1801] Alexander Graham Bell invented the, what was the telephone why because he was doing coke yeah right yeah it'd go like uh how how you got to be to be like i want to talk to someone who's not even here that was it i want to talk to someone who's not here that was a great joke bro he had some great bits man and he was so physical he was real lean back then real real physical on stage he had all this energy i remember watching I think I was living in New York at the time.

[1802] I watched it on HBO and I was like, holy fuck, is this guy good?

[1803] You know I studied a lot?

[1804] I was a fan of when I first got to comedy, and I'm a fan of them still till this day.

[1805] I just saw he's doing the show.

[1806] The brothers from St. Louis.

[1807] The Wayne's brothers?

[1808] No, the other brothers.

[1809] Your friends with the young...

[1810] Oh, the Tories.

[1811] The Tories.

[1812] Guy and Joe.

[1813] Oh, my God.

[1814] Oh, they're great.

[1815] Joe was the warm -up for Death Cam.

[1816] We were coming up.

[1817] Joe was the only guy that I ever saw kill and be yoked at the same time.

[1818] This motherfucker would go on stage with, like, a vest on, built like Mike Tyson, just jacked.

[1819] And he would kill.

[1820] I don't know how he did it.

[1821] Like, I don't know.

[1822] Not even remotely self -conscious.

[1823] Jamar Neighbors can do it, too.

[1824] Jamar Neighbors goes on stage shirtless, and he's fucking shredded.

[1825] And it's funny.

[1826] It works.

[1827] I miss Jamar Neighbys.

[1828] I love Jamar Nehers.

[1829] Where is he?

[1830] He's back in L .A. I thought he was down here with you guys.

[1831] No, he came out, he spent some time here.

[1832] He did the podcast, like, what, like a year and a half ago?

[1833] He's, I love that, dude.

[1834] He's a legit boxer.

[1835] You know, Jamar Neighbors can box.

[1836] I didn't know that.

[1837] You show me a video of him fighting.

[1838] He's had amateur fights.

[1839] Jamar Neighbors can crack.

[1840] No bullshit.

[1841] No bullshit.

[1842] He can box.

[1843] That's crazy.

[1844] Yeah, that's where that body's from.

[1845] He does all these crazy calisthenics.

[1846] If you go on his, like, Instagram, I think he's got all his crazy workouts he does.

[1847] That dude's in serious shape.

[1848] He looks strong as fuck.

[1849] He's shredded.

[1850] You see him on his Instagram?

[1851] He's got like a video put up of him doing stand -up with a mohawk.

[1852] He glues a mohawk to the day.

[1853] And he's just fucking ripped.

[1854] Like this is him boxing.

[1855] That's Jamar.

[1856] Dude, he's good, man. He's like a good amateur boxer.

[1857] He's very fast, too.

[1858] I mean, how old is Jamar?

[1859] He's got to be in his late 30s, right?

[1860] No. I thought he was a little younger than that, right?

[1861] How old is he?

[1862] I don't know.

[1863] I've known him forever.

[1864] He's got to be 35, right?

[1865] 37.

[1866] 37.

[1867] Yeah, so there you go.

[1868] I thought he was a little younger, 33.

[1869] He's a good boxer, though.

[1870] So it's very rare that some...

[1871] But Guy Torrey was the first guy that I ever saw that went on stage with, like, a vest on.

[1872] I was like, what?

[1873] Look at him.

[1874] There's Jamar.

[1875] White slavery.

[1876] He's wearing a Nazi hat.

[1877] Look how shredded Jamar is.

[1878] I mean, that's ridiculous.

[1879] I'm telling you.

[1880] he goes on stage looking like that and he kills Malachi I like that name he's just a fun dude to be around but find guy Torrey dog I still remember one of his bits or Joe Torrey Joe Torrey Joe Torrey's bit when he warmed up him fucking Martin Lawrence how was a hell of a lineup too that was my worst bombings of all time when I had to follow Martin Lawrence at the store over and over and over again I'm gonna tell you who the best performance yeah this Joe I'm gonna tell you the best performance ever on fucking Def Jam.

[1881] D .O. Hughley as a host.

[1882] When he got a standing ovation, I never saw anything like that in my life.

[1883] Yeah, how about...

[1884] As a host, got a standing, I mean, ripped the fucking room apart.

[1885] I will never forget that.

[1886] Joe Toro.

[1887] He, ready for Joe Turer?

[1888] Yeah.

[1889] I got a brother who's one of those saved the whale motherfuckers.

[1890] But I'm thinking about getting a gun.

[1891] I'm dying to shoot a motherfucker.

[1892] I could see me with a gun hanging outside an ATM machine with a tuxedo on come out of the bushes I'm going to shoot you something about fucking buying a gun and he wanted to shoot somebody so he would hang out on an ATM with a tuxedo on every night I fucking loved that joke and one night I said it to him and he's like man I haven't heard that in years that's great you just reminded me he hit me his brother with good dudes you ever think about dudes who didn't make it where you can't understand how like we're like god damn that guy was good like what the fuck I always I always use Reggie McFadden Reggie McFadden is like Where is Reggie?

[1893] I don't know I think he got into real estate or something But Reggie McFadden in like 1992 when I was living in New York My friend John John Tobin was opening up For Reggie at the Champagne Comedy Club The Champagne Comedy Club was this dude was hilarious This old school black dude who owned it He was like, no motherfuckers, like he had rules.

[1894] He goes, you don't say the bitch had a big ass.

[1895] He said, the woman had a wide behind.

[1896] And he would, like, tell guys how to talk comedy.

[1897] But it didn't matter with Reggie because Reggie's act was clean.

[1898] And I'm telling you, this motherfucker murdered.

[1899] I was in this room watched him.

[1900] John had gone up, he brought him up, and we sat and watched Reggie.

[1901] And he murdered.

[1902] I mean, to the point where I was like, I'm looking at the next Eddie.

[1903] Murphy.

[1904] I'm looking at the next superstar.

[1905] Like this is a can't go wrong talent.

[1906] He was so he had this joke about meeting a pretty girl and he's got an ugly friend that you can't shake.

[1907] And he's the ugly girl smashed through his window and he's physical.

[1908] So he like he burst through the window on stage and where are you?

[1909] And it was just like it was he was so funny man. He was so talented.

[1910] And I don't know what happened.

[1911] I don't know what happened.

[1912] People change.

[1913] People see.

[1914] People see.

[1915] things that I want to do.

[1916] Corey Miller was one of those guys.

[1917] What happened with him?

[1918] Zoo, a little zoo member, Corey?

[1919] Yeah, but what happened with him?

[1920] He just went back to raise his kid.

[1921] Wow.

[1922] In Atlanta, he still does comedy.

[1923] Still does comedy.

[1924] Atlanta, I know somebody saw him in a college and he said to say hello to me. People just changed their priorities, man. It happens all the fucking time.

[1925] You know, you think about the two dudes who were in Guns and Roses, the one guy Izzy that just left.

[1926] What does he feel like today?

[1927] You know, didn't you have a guy on from Soundgarden here a couple?

[1928] Jason Everman.

[1929] Yeah.

[1930] Jason Everman.

[1931] He was the original guy or?

[1932] He was in Nirvana.

[1933] Okay.

[1934] And then he got kicked out of Nirvana and he was in Soundgarden and he got kicked out of Soundgarden.

[1935] How do you think he feels today?

[1936] He was not very happy.

[1937] Oh.

[1938] Well, now he's happy.

[1939] Now he's fine.

[1940] I mean, he really, he's a very much at peace guy.

[1941] Well, you make, he's also had like a very, like, fascinating life.

[1942] I mean, he's a special forces guy and he went to, did tours in Iraq.

[1943] Iraq and Afghanistan, multiple tours in Afghanistan, went to Colombia, got a degree of Colombia.

[1944] He's a brilliant guy.

[1945] So, like, I think he's a very thoughtful person, and his path was a great path for him.

[1946] But at the time, he felt like total dog shit.

[1947] They just honored the guy from the original bass player, from Soundgarden.

[1948] And he was, like, on the first two albums, I always wondered what happened to that fucking dude and how they feel now that they were in, had an opportunity being this monster of a band you know isn't that the craziest thing about artists guys like chris cornell who was so fucking talented and so like universally loved and still takes his own life that's that just shows you like how fragile mental health is and people's states of mind and how you know you could just not see the thing i mean that motherfucker was beloved like his voice was fucking insane it was it had so much power he's a really fucking spoon man come on are you kidding me and the shit he did another shit you and I were listening to spoon man remember I had that suburban with all the big speakers in that shit we were sitting in my no it was a Denali it was a Yukon Denali and we were sitting in the Denali in the comedy store parking lot just jamming to Spoon man Spone and you You were screaming.

[1949] If you don't like this song, you're not real, cuck, sucker.

[1950] You don't like spoon, man. Are you out of your fucking mind?

[1951] You were just so into this song.

[1952] And I still remember the night you came up to me out of cold, and you go, how can somebody listen to the Beatles after they listen to blow up the outside world?

[1953] By SoundGarden.

[1954] And I said to you, I go, you know what, it's crazy?

[1955] You could tell Chris was a beetle fan when you hear that chant.

[1956] But I get what you were saying that day.

[1957] Like, it was such.

[1958] I changed my perceptions on that.

[1959] I became a much bigger Beatles fan later on.

[1960] Me too.

[1961] But back then, look, blow up the outside world is a masterpiece.

[1962] That song's a masterpiece.

[1963] His voice is great on it.

[1964] It's a masterpiece of sound, everything about it.

[1965] It's like a spiritual experience, that song.

[1966] That song is a fuck.

[1967] And if you're high, if you're, like, sitting in your living room and you smoke a joint, you put the headphones on, you listen to that.

[1968] Oh, my God.

[1969] That song's incredible.

[1970] It's crazy how I had views.

[1971] I hated the Beatles.

[1972] Here, give me some of that.

[1973] Especially if you're high and you listen to this, Joey.

[1974] There's some music that's just accentuated by weed.

[1975] What a song.

[1976] I like it towards the end when they do the drum thing and he says that he holds that one note.

[1977] Yeah.

[1978] Oh, my God.

[1979] Keep it going, Jamie.

[1980] Keep it going.

[1981] Talented motherfucker that guy was.

[1982] Now, talking to the Beatles.

[1983] after we didn't have appreciation for the Beatles growing up.

[1984] Not because I didn't like them, because everybody always broke my balls on how good they were.

[1985] And I've told this story before.

[1986] I love John Lennon.

[1987] But the day John Lennon got shot, it was the happiest day of my life.

[1988] Because I won the argument now, because every time you couldn't fucking say nothing with beetle people, every time you said, like, oh my God, I went to see the stones last night.

[1989] What a great album, shattered.

[1990] What a great album missed you is.

[1991] Some motherfucker would say, Yeah, it's a great island But wait till the Beatles get back together Fucking stay with Evans A great song Yeah, it's great, but wait till the Beatles get back together They always had me I always lost that argument You had to walk away like, yeah, he got the point The day John Lennon got shut That argument went out of the window, bitch They ain't getting back together So shut the fuck up now, okay?

[1992] It's Led Zeppelin who's running things In fact, they had a beetle mural at my high school Somebody put an extra John Lennon The day after he got shot because we didn't want to hear that argument no more.

[1993] Everybody got sick of that fucking argument, all right?

[1994] And I love John.

[1995] I don't want people, you know, I love all those albums, fucking shave, fish, and all that stuff.

[1996] While my guitar gently weeps.

[1997] Oh, I love all that shit.

[1998] Oh, my God.

[1999] I love the Beatles from Revolva on.

[2000] Once they did The Aston and started smoking dope, I like all that shit.

[2001] That's really good stuff.

[2002] Before that, she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2003] It's okay.

[2004] I get it, but no. It was a different time.

[2005] Yeah.

[2006] A different time of the world.

[2007] When they went to India and smoked with that Maharishi and started playing all that shit and opened up their horizons, they were good, man. Isn't it interesting that the kids that grew up that were into, like, ACDC, Led Zeppelin?

[2008] Those were not necessarily kids that were into the Beatles.

[2009] And some of them were.

[2010] My crew was all, like, Jim Morrison, it was the Doors, Van Halen, Led Zeppelin.

[2011] Van Halen was current.

[2012] That was like the current band that everybody was into.

[2013] But it was old bands.

[2014] It was always played.

[2015] dare way to heaven or somebody wanted to get crazy you play freebird when that guitar solo goes on at freebird when you're 16 years old and you listen to that song you're like holy shit to this day that that is in my opinion that's the greatest guitar solo of all time that guitar solo is fucking insane there's so much good music so much good music it's so like you get caught up with one thing with during the pandemic i got back into music And I put on, I bought vinyl, I got into vinyl again.

[2016] I fucking love it, you know.

[2017] And it's so weird how an album will take you back.

[2018] Like, I got an album now, it'll take me back for a week.

[2019] Like, I'll play the album when I'm writing, when I'm doing shit.

[2020] Take you back to those days.

[2021] Like, just, but you also hear things.

[2022] That's why I don't like doing music reviews and shit.

[2023] Because I learn more about the music, the more I listen to it.

[2024] Like, every time I put on, like, I don't put on Led Zepp.

[2025] no more but you're in your car you had it back you crank it up you always hear something you haven't hear it heard and go wow I used to always crank whole lot of love when I was on my way of the store all those all that shit but that was the song that was the song that I wanted to hear when I was on my way to the store ba -b -b -b -b -b -b -b -b -b -b -b -b -that fucking jam oh my god and then there's like a minute -and -a -half of fuck sounds in that song a minute and a half's like ah With the little symbols in the background.

[2026] Zeppelin, too, is very interesting because it's dirty.

[2027] Yeah, there we go.

[2028] Give me some of this.

[2029] It's dirty.

[2030] They go shoot a load.

[2031] Honey.

[2032] This is the get ramped up to go to the Comedy Store song.

[2033] And this sounds sucks.

[2034] You got to listen to this on like real speakers.

[2035] Something about the way it's coming through my ears.

[2036] It sounds like dog shit.

[2037] Maybe I need new headphones.

[2038] No, it's some songs on YouTube for some reason Don't sound great when we run it through here Maybe it's because they don't want you to be able to do that Maybe they want it to distort so that you can't like just I think it has to take the music down It can be the cable on business and I don't know Oh that's more logical Sometimes something sounds fine and maybe we should get a better cable I just I don't know why something sounds perfect and other things don't Should we replace the cable?

[2039] It might not fix it It's also the thing Okay It could be that But it would it be nice if we could hear it, like, really good?

[2040] That seems like if it should be possible.

[2041] It also could be, like, I have to find a good source.

[2042] You know?

[2043] Right.

[2044] So some of these...

[2045] They're probably compressed, too, right?

[2046] Yeah.

[2047] It doesn't sound great either.

[2048] Keep it going, though.

[2049] Let me hear some of that.

[2050] That's better.

[2051] That's better.

[2052] I had a 2002 Toyota Super Turbo.

[2053] that I got the craziest sound system ever put into this fucking thing.

[2054] I just, this was like when I was on Fear Factor and I was like, what do you have?

[2055] Like, what can you do?

[2056] And they said, we can engineer a sound system just for your car.

[2057] And I'm like, oh my God, let's do it.

[2058] And they put, like, there was a subwifur under the front seat or under the back seat.

[2059] Like, you couldn't push the back seat back and these crazy speakers in the dash and put speakers here and speakers there.

[2060] And it would have that.

[2061] You can put a microphone in your seat.

[2062] so they can, like, tune to your seat?

[2063] I don't know how they did it, but when I would play this in that car, the music would dance around the car.

[2064] Like, you could hear the guitar from over here.

[2065] You know what I would really hear it in?

[2066] Was Seal.

[2067] When you kissed by a rose, there's sound coming from all over the place in that song.

[2068] Well, what's that taping call, that style of recording?

[2069] Because that's on that album.

[2070] Because even when you listened to it when you were a kid and you had two sets, to speakers, ah, oh, ah, that's what I was just, yeah, that's what I was just saying.

[2071] What I was saying is my, do you remember that Super, that, Toyota 9 -11 turbo?

[2072] That's what it was, that was a Super Turbo, 9 -11 Turbo.

[2073] That had a 2002 9 -11 Turbo.

[2074] I had that crazy sound system in it.

[2075] Yes.

[2076] And that sound system, the sound would bounce around with that song.

[2077] So that was like my warm -up song.

[2078] When I was listening to that song and I was driving down sunset, it was like coming, and all the, with the, with the, Humping sounds like, ah, ah, ah, ha, ha, ha, that's like drifting around the car.

[2079] Give me some of that, Jane.

[2080] So when you do acid or something like that, that's what you, that's dancing for it.

[2081] You start hearing that fucking, those little speakers.

[2082] I've always thought they recorded, like, thinking that you were going to do acid.

[2083] Like Pink Floyd, I know, recorded, thinking that you were going to be tripping.

[2084] Oh, for sure.

[2085] They were.

[2086] They fucked with you like that, you know.

[2087] You got it?

[2088] I was looking for a stereo mix to see if I could find one that was going to do it better.

[2089] What was the name of the kids?

[2090] Speaking of it.

[2091] When you got to L .A., you bought a nice car, and then you didn't want it no more.

[2092] Who did you sell that super to?

[2093] Comedian.

[2094] Yeah.

[2095] He disappeared after that.

[2096] It wasn't that.

[2097] It was a Volkswagen.

[2098] I had a Volkswagen carado, and he only had a certain amount of money.

[2099] And I said, okay, whatever he had.

[2100] What was his name?

[2101] I can forget his name.

[2102] Did he date Kelly Kirsten?

[2103] I don't believe so, did he?

[2104] But he was a...

[2105] It was a nice kid?

[2106] Nice kid.

[2107] I was just starting to make some money.

[2108] He was funny.

[2109] Yeah.

[2110] What happened to him?

[2111] Man, some of them, just the pressure, the overwhelming pressure of constantly performing, it gives them anxiety, and they never survive it.

[2112] They just, it cracks them.

[2113] Here it is.

[2114] So this is me coming down Laurel Canyon.

[2115] I would always time it.

[2116] I knew, like, when to start playing it.

[2117] I would start playing it when you hit that store.

[2118] You know, that little country store on Laurel Canyon?

[2119] When I hit that, that's when I would start the song.

[2120] And by the time I'm snaking all the way down Laurel and I get to the bottom, take that turn.

[2121] Down, down.

[2122] You're playing two different things.

[2123] Fucked it up, Chandler.

[2124] I was trying to show you Laurel Canyon.

[2125] Oh, I see it.

[2126] This was the way I would come over from the valley.

[2127] If I didn't take the 405, I'd go this way.

[2128] Fuck this line.

[2129] Yeah, the traffic.

[2130] This was just like the perfect let's fucking go song.

[2131] This song made me smoke pop, though.

[2132] This one did?

[2133] That was it And you think it's over But it's not over You think it's winding down I'll bring this up Can you hear in the background You can hear his voice Deco's yeah That's part of what happened With the tape That's like an accident Oh No way The tape is tight Stored too tightly Kind of Meanwhile it's perfect Yeah sounds perfect It's accident Here we go Cocksuckers Chase for me I want to be your back And there'll never, ever be anything like this ever again.

[2134] Well, it was so unique for the time, too.

[2135] This is the second out.

[2136] This is the second fucking out.

[2137] I'm hooked on the fifth album now.

[2138] I've been listening to Presence lately.

[2139] Killie's last day.

[2140] How about the ocean?

[2141] For your life.

[2142] That's house of the holy.

[2143] That was the second album that put me over the top.

[2144] That A to Z, dancing days.

[2145] Oh, my God.

[2146] Oh, my God.

[2147] No court, listen, I was such a fucking half a little fag when I was a kid that when I first got Led Zeppelin to, I would play dancing days.

[2148] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you don't have to go.

[2149] Then it's supposed to be no quarter and then the ocean.

[2150] I would skip over no quarter.

[2151] Scariest fucking song they had.

[2152] I only listened to it when I got a little old.

[2153] I was like, okay, I'm ready for this time.

[2154] I love the immigrant song.

[2155] Immigrant song.

[2156] I'm three.

[2157] Listen.

[2158] And that's what really shows you.

[2159] Every album, they kind of change it up.

[2160] They got a hillbilly song called fucking Gallows pole.

[2161] It's a hillbilly song or a country song?

[2162] Can you?

[2163] Gallos pole?

[2164] Yeah, can you ask Jamie to put on and listen to the beginning of this, Chan?

[2165] Yeah.

[2166] And it just picks up.

[2167] I used to eat quailudes to this, me and Dini.

[2168] We used to eat quailuze with a bottle of Pupoff.

[2169] What's Pupov?

[2170] P -P -O -V, that fucking liquid.

[2171] And we would fucking.

[2172] go over and over.

[2173] In fact, I still got a busted eye thing, a vein from the Kuala.

[2174] That does have a country kind of influence.

[2175] Speed it up a little, Jamie, get Rogan.

[2176] Here we go.

[2177] Full bow, Joe Rogan.

[2178] Here we go.

[2179] A little son different.

[2180] Beautiful.

[2181] I used to get fucked, and this album's got immigrant song, this and the best Led Zeppelin song.

[2182] After all those songs, Jimmy Page's best work since I've been loved.

[2183] loving you.

[2184] Oh, yeah.

[2185] I'm telling you, they came up with something different, every fucking album.

[2186] I love music today.

[2187] I can't also believe I just saw that picture for the first time of James Brown's mugshot.

[2188] Yeah.

[2189] Is that from the arrest in 91?

[2190] Yeah, that was 91.

[2191] He hit her, and they chased him in the truck and shit.

[2192] My favorite thing is when he got in trouble, then he was on some talk show, like right afterwards with sunglasses on.

[2193] That's right.

[2194] He was skirted around it.

[2195] He was fucked up.

[2196] Yeah.

[2197] He was fucked up.

[2198] Yeah.

[2199] Yeah.

[2200] That's, That's his mug shot.

[2201] What was, so the other one was a different time he got arrested.

[2202] It was a cart.

[2203] There was something else, I think.

[2204] Was that something else?

[2205] That's a different one.

[2206] See if you could find the interview with him.

[2207] There's a hilarious James Brown interview where he's like clearly high as kite.

[2208] And he's singing and having a good time.

[2209] It's very, very funny.

[2210] That's it.

[2211] CNN.

[2212] Janice Brown.

[2213] My brother, you're in Newark next week?

[2214] Yes.

[2215] Oh, you are coming?

[2216] Yes.

[2217] Okay.

[2218] Yeah, it is like, give me some point for this.

[2219] This is amazing.

[2220] He's got these incredible sunglasses on.

[2221] He's the charges that Brown denies.

[2222] He was released yesterday on $15 ,000 bond.

[2223] He joins us from Atlanta to discuss the charges, and we welcome you, James Brown.

[2224] How did all of this trouble begin?

[2225] Living in America.

[2226] Nothing wrong at all.

[2227] You're not in any difficulty, but you're out on bond.

[2228] No, I'm not.

[2229] Have all the charges been dropped?

[2230] Yeah, I'm out of love.

[2231] Are you out on love or out of love?

[2232] Which is it?

[2233] Out on love.

[2234] Alone from night to night, you find me?

[2235] Now, James, this isn't the first time you and your wife have had a problem.

[2236] Are the two of you going to be able to work this out?

[2237] Let's talk about some music.

[2238] You want to talk about music, and you don't want to talk about what happened.

[2239] No, it's all over.

[2240] Well, let's talk about your tour.

[2241] When are you leaving?

[2242] We leave it tomorrow.

[2243] And where are you going?

[2244] Rio de Janeiro and San Paulo, Brazil.

[2245] Brazil.

[2246] All fans will have read all about this, James.

[2247] Aren't you concerned about that?

[2248] No, Dajan.

[2249] I'm concerned because there's nothing wrong.

[2250] And what are you going to say to your fans when they ask you some questions about that?

[2251] I'm going to say, I feel good.

[2252] I've got a brand new bag.

[2253] It's a man's world.

[2254] Well, that's the second time we've heard that in two days.

[2255] That's very interesting.

[2256] Now, don't leave us, James.

[2257] You stay right there.

[2258] We have more that we have to talk about.

[2259] Well, tell us a little bit about what you're going to be.

[2260] What are you going to be doing on this tour?

[2261] I'm going to be doing.

[2262] Popper's got a brand new bag of living in America.

[2263] Sex machine, get up off of that thing.

[2264] I feel good.

[2265] Now, I understand that you have already, James, I have to ask you one serious question here.

[2266] I understand you already have started divorce proceedings.

[2267] Does that mean that you're now eligible?

[2268] Yes, I'm, yes.

[2269] I'm singing.

[2270] I want to mingle.

[2271] You want to mingle.

[2272] Now, the women.

[2273] He's got gloves on.

[2274] Why do you think that is?

[2275] What'd you say?

[2276] The women love you when you get out there.

[2277] Why is that, ladies?

[2278] Well, I'm asking you.

[2279] Huh?

[2280] Because I look good.

[2281] I look good.

[2282] I feel good.

[2283] And you sing good.

[2284] And make love good.

[2285] Oh.

[2286] Well, there we are.

[2287] We don't have to ask anybody else.

[2288] We got that from the source.

[2289] There you are.

[2290] Now, you're involved in publishing a gospel magazine.

[2291] Tell us a little about that.

[2292] The second coming.

[2293] It's out of Augusta, Georgia's anchor.

[2294] Joseph P. Young is the editor, and James Ryan, one of the advisors.

[2295] And we're doing a fantastic job, the second coming.

[2296] It features on this week, I think we have the Pope, and I believe the William's brothers.

[2297] And last, next week we're going to have Reverend Adler Sharpton, I think, on the cover.

[2298] And we'll be doing a lot of good things, and hopefully we'll get brother Ted Turner on the cover.

[2299] Ted, where you're at?

[2300] James, we want to thank you for having, for being with us today.

[2301] Wait a minute, I've got here.

[2302] Oh, is there something more you want to say that we haven't covered?

[2303] Yeah, I don't say a lot of things.

[2304] Okay, go ahead.

[2305] I love America.

[2306] I love everybody.

[2307] Well, it's, it sounds to me as though you're not troubled by any of this at all.

[2308] This is a man's world.

[2309] Thanks for reminding us of that.

[2310] Every once in a while, we forget.

[2311] But we've remembered again James, good luck on your tour Thanks for being with us I guess we're going to hear lots more Osloiego There's a guy that didn't give too fucks He's coked up to the gills God knows what else is in his fucking system Look at him He was as good as it gets Was that guy though What was the concert in Zaire?

[2312] Yeah, the Muhammad Ali one Yes Jamie played that Because that was incredible See if you can find that Because that That concert was insane What year was that?

[2313] Wow Look at him He's fucking drenched Oh my God Yeah That's the one With the cape Yeah This man will make Your bladder Splatter This man will freeze Your knee If you will, let's all welcome the world's godfather of soul.

[2314] Soul, brother number one, Jay Brown.

[2315] You know, Joe, this guy was the real deal, too.

[2316] He was a real deal.

[2317] What did he do up in Boston?

[2318] He has history.

[2319] Boy, he did something.

[2320] He saved.

[2321] He stopped a riot.

[2322] Oh, he performed.

[2323] After a cop shot a black kid and the city was in a riot.

[2324] And they told him not to perform.

[2325] He goes, I'm performing.

[2326] Something.

[2327] He did something.

[2328] The Knight James Brown saved Boston.

[2329] Very interesting thing.

[2330] Oh, there's a movie about it.

[2331] Wow.

[2332] Two days after Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination, singer James Brown performs at the Boston Garden.

[2333] Oh, wow.

[2334] Two days, that's insane.

[2335] Oh, my God.

[2336] Yeah, he did something.

[2337] Wow.

[2338] Okay, I'll check that out.

[2339] These guys, I don't know These guys were Different era Different world Pioneers, real pioneers You know they were running against different I watched that fucking thing again A couple weeks ago The Green Mile Whatever the Green Book You know that dude's in the South He fucking wanted to go sing in the South They wouldn't let them fucking They wouldn't put them in a green room They wouldn't let them Performing the eat in a dining room With other people That was a different fucking world man And these guys had so much courage Jackie Robinson to face that, I would fold.

[2340] How about Ali changing his name in the middle of it and then not going into the Vietnam War and they won't let him fight for three years and they're in the middle of his prime.

[2341] It's fucking crazy.

[2342] It's crazy.

[2343] So you really got to nod to these guys because, man, they came up in a tough time.

[2344] I always see those pictures like him, Jim Brown and Muhammad Ali and they all got together and, you know.

[2345] It's pretty impressive, man. Different type of savages.

[2346] It's a different world.

[2347] Imagine being a kid in like the 1960s when you see Hendricks for the first time.

[2348] If you were 15 years old, five years before Hendricks, there was nothing like that.

[2349] Nobody prepared anybody for anything like that.

[2350] I saw a lot of shit when I came from.

[2351] I learned a lot, man. And that shit has always stuck with me. The stuff I saw, you know.

[2352] hence tremendous hence tremendous when's it available May 2nd you could order it now on Amazon like pre -order it when can you get the audio book May 2nd oh everything May 2nd nice fucking tough to write man I'm sure you know how it is with these fucking things you gotta dig deep and ask yeah book is a lot of a lot of soul searching too I'd imagine yeah no while I was doing it I was fucked up as hell that's why I figured I'd do it then you did it while you were getting off the benzos?

[2353] Yeah, well, I just moved.

[2354] I did the knee surgery.

[2355] It was like a thousand things.

[2356] I didn't even know I was withdrawing.

[2357] Like I said, until I went to, I did the knee surgery and something happened with my heart.

[2358] And one of the doctors came in and we started talking and he kept looking at me weird.

[2359] He was a Spanish dude.

[2360] And I fucking, he gave me his card and I called him when I got out.

[2361] And he goes, come see me. Something wasn't right that night.

[2362] And he did a physical.

[2363] And I went back to see him blood, that type of shit.

[2364] And he goes, everything was right.

[2365] You know, everything was okay.

[2366] I don't know.

[2367] He put me on a heart monitor.

[2368] And he goes, your heart's fine.

[2369] I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

[2370] And his assistant said, are you still taking the Xanax?

[2371] And I go, yeah.

[2372] And she goes, that's what's going on with you.

[2373] Look at the charts, Doc.

[2374] He's been on him from 2012.

[2375] And I go, no. I just been using them since the pandemic started and that's when she goes no you got to stop withdrawing i didn't even know i just had a horrible fucking feeling how long do you think it takes when you're on those things before you're addicted two weeks maybe really well i didn't see i would take them and then forget about them i would put them in my top pocket and then go to the store and not take them and then i would just wash them there was a lot of times i would take them i would bring it with me in case i got like a little fucking, you know.

[2376] But Joe, the funny thing about this, if I tell you, this goes back to when I was a kid.

[2377] In the simplest way.

[2378] You ready for this?

[2379] I was a little fucking fruitcake when I came from Cuba.

[2380] Do you know I sucked the pacify?

[2381] I thought I was six.

[2382] So after, like, I was three, they took them away from you.

[2383] But I'd hide them in strategic places.

[2384] And whenever shit got dange, I'd go over suck it, put it down, and then I'd fucking go back to what was going on here.

[2385] So when I lived in 88th Street In New York City My mom had a jukebox at the bar So every week the guy comes in And he gives you the old 45s Is that what they call?

[2386] Forty -fives So I don't know what they were They were all different types Spanish music You know black music Rock music My mother had a great taste in the jukebox So I would have fucking boxes Of singles I lived on the third floor And if you go to 205 205 West, even today, you pull up to it, you'll see where I live, where I grew up right there on the third floor, but you'll see that there's like a parking garage day.

[2387] They never really, it's like an old building.

[2388] Now it's redone again.

[2389] They did something.

[2390] When we were kids, we played back there.

[2391] So whenever I had anxiety, I would go upstairs to suck on the pacify.

[2392] I didn't, I wasn't cool enough to put them on the street yet.

[2393] I would, later in time, I would put them on the street, and I would suck on them when I was playing basketball or something.

[2394] if things that they called a file on me and I would panic.

[2395] I would go upstairs and I had a window that they couldn't see from below because it was the back of the building so it was like an indentation and all our windows.

[2396] You can't see that from there.

[2397] So I would take those 45s and I would whip them.

[2398] They're like fucking boomerangs.

[2399] I would just sit there for 10 minutes and just whip them, whip them, whip them.

[2400] And I'd hear people downstairs.

[2401] What the fuck?

[2402] Stop it, you fucking scumbag.

[2403] What's going on?

[2404] And then I run downstairs, and all these kids would be holding on to their heads and shit.

[2405] They're like, where'd you go?

[2406] And I went upstairs to go to the bathroom.

[2407] You missed it.

[2408] The crazy guys throwing records at us.

[2409] Do you know how long I did that for, Doug?

[2410] I did that for about a year.

[2411] I threw records at those motherfuckers.

[2412] I cut them.

[2413] I did so many things to those kids.

[2414] They never knew.

[2415] It was me. But back to it, that's how I started going upstairs to suck on the pacify.

[2416] So I always had something.

[2417] You know what I always had my little?

[2418] You wanted something to, like, help me. help you out.

[2419] I always had something to smoothen the humps and the bumps.

[2420] I didn't know that should exist.

[2421] I ate those when you did coke.

[2422] When you do coke, that's when people give you those things.

[2423] Oh, you don't have a heart on, take two of these and you'll get a heart on, you'll fall asleep.

[2424] I never knew they were treated for anxiety or whatever fuck.

[2425] Who gives a fuck when you're on the street doing drugs, what they're treated for?

[2426] There's a lot of people with anxiety.

[2427] That's the problem.

[2428] And getting off of that seems like it's one of the worst things you get off imaginable.

[2429] No, man, because now I deal with, it's so funny.

[2430] No, I'm talking about the withdrawal, the shit you went through.

[2431] Oh, the withdrawals are horrible.

[2432] But it's funny now when I do shit, I always remember.

[2433] Like, I had to do something in the city a couple weeks ago.

[2434] I'd go for an audition.

[2435] As I was putting on my suit, I go, insert Xanax now.

[2436] This is when I would be putting the Zadix.

[2437] My anxiety would start creeping up on me. I'd lose my breath, like my breath would go away from me. And once I'd start panic and forget, I even had to take it.

[2438] I would take Xanax to go to Jiu -Jitsu for a while.

[2439] Jesus.

[2440] Because of my anxiety in Jiu -Jitsu.

[2441] Now I have no anxiety in Jiu -Jitsu.

[2442] Now I go to J -Jitsu, I just get beat up.

[2443] That's it.

[2444] It's great.

[2445] I go in there and I breathe.

[2446] It's fantastic.

[2447] So you have to work in anxiety.

[2448] You have to really breathe.

[2449] I did a lot of breath work.

[2450] I slept a lot.

[2451] I went back to my boulder roots, and I meditated a little bit, which helps.

[2452] I don't get on the computer in the morning anymore.

[2453] That helps you a lot?

[2454] I fucking get a cup of coffee and I sit on my balcony and look at the mountains for 20, 30 minutes.

[2455] We're in no rush.

[2456] We've got nowhere to be.

[2457] I do a little grateful shit, what I'm grateful for.

[2458] I pray for you.

[2459] I pray for my friends.

[2460] I don't pray, but I hope everybody's all right.

[2461] You know, I'm Cuban.

[2462] I got my little faults, but I'm still like that bolder Buddhist shit has always, I can't cop to being a Buddhist, but sometimes I think about it, you know?

[2463] So before I do anything, I make sure I'm good in the mornings.

[2464] I'm grounded.

[2465] I used to get up and go around the fucking computer and start doing bongets.

[2466] That ain't going to do nothing more.

[2467] Come on, man. Come on, man. You can't do that shit.

[2468] You can't do it.

[2469] And this is what you were saying before.

[2470] As you get older, you start learning about what works.

[2471] And you try to share it with people.

[2472] You know, you're like, listen, man, don't get up anymore and put that TV on.

[2473] And don't get up and open that fucking computer.

[2474] Save yourself.

[2475] I realized something else.

[2476] For the last year, I've been eating a fruit bowl for breakfast.

[2477] Every morning, raspberries, bananas, pears, cherries, whatever, whatever I could get on.

[2478] Guess what now?

[2479] I don't need sugar at night.

[2480] Is that the weirdest thing?

[2481] Even when I get, I can smoke 15 joints.

[2482] I don't need sugar at night no more because I got rid of that sugar crave in the morning, I think.

[2483] I don't know.

[2484] Well, it's definitely the healthiest way to get sugar.

[2485] I don't know.

[2486] I don't think anybody says fruit's bad for you.

[2487] They do.

[2488] For who?

[2489] Yeah, fruit.

[2490] Fruit's great.

[2491] Listen, if you take 22 aspins a day, you're going to die.

[2492] But one aspirin ain't going to fucking kill you.

[2493] Two apples ain't going to fucking kill you, you know?

[2494] Joe, I've got to wrap this up.

[2495] Why?

[2496] Where are you going?

[2497] Got a dinner.

[2498] We just got it.

[2499] No, it's already 4 .30.

[2500] It's 4 .30?

[2501] Yeah.

[2502] That's it.

[2503] I'm going to see you?

[2504] Oh, you're going to see me in a couple hours.

[2505] Okay.

[2506] Who's coming tonight?

[2507] Who's doing the show with us?

[2508] Russell's here?

[2509] Russell's here.

[2510] Because Redmond?

[2511] Tony, Brian Simpson.

[2512] Asan, Asan Ahmaud.

[2513] Okay.

[2514] You and me?

[2515] Ron White.

[2516] Ron might come down.

[2517] Ron was sick.

[2518] He's been sick for a couple days.

[2519] Hopefully he's feeling better.

[2520] I'll call him up.

[2521] He looks good, man. Duncan, called Duncan.

[2522] I'm right to see him.

[2523] Yeah, for sure.

[2524] I want to thank Laughing Gas.

[2525] They send you a bag.

[2526] Oh, Christina's coming down tonight, too.

[2527] Christina's coming down.

[2528] Good to see her.

[2529] What do you call her?

[2530] Christina P. Okay.

[2531] I'll call it Christine.

[2532] Okay.

[2533] I know it's one of those that she gets pissed off at.

[2534] I don't know what the name is.

[2535] Yeah.

[2536] She don't know.

[2537] I love you.

[2538] Thank you very much for having me on.

[2539] Thank you.

[2540] And everybody, Tremendous, the book is out May 5th.

[2541] May 2nd.

[2542] May 2nd.

[2543] Pre -order Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, Thrift .com, and you saved no delivery charge.

[2544] You go on thriftbooks .com.

[2545] All right.

[2546] I love you.

[2547] I love you, too.

[2548] Appreciate you.

[2549] I appreciate you.

[2550] I appreciate you.

[2551] Being in a stable.

[2552] Have fun, man. Bye, everybody.