Francis Ngannou Breaks Down Sharing Heartbreaking Story: "I Don't Know The Purpose Of Fighting Anymore", "I Feel Powerless", "I Don't Know How To Deal With This!"

[0] Just getting tired, being tough was the purpose of fighting if I would end up not being able to fight for the only person that I can fight for.

[1] I was 13 years.

[2] I decided that I was going to be a professional fighter.

[3] But I have no money.

[4] We don't have shoes.

[5] We don't have food.

[6] There's not a gym.

[7] I have to do something for that dream.

[8] So I left Camero.

[9] You need to get to Spain.

[10] I was reading that people died.

[11] Oh, a lot.

[12] And you were drinking water that had dead animals.

[13] We had no choice.

[14] I had them in the ocean.

[15] I fell six times.

[16] I tried to climb the fence.

[17] But that while, it was the toughest part.

[18] Why didn't you give up?

[19] When your dream is so big, it's hard to give up.

[20] And the day that we arrive in Paris, I could start that dream to become a war champion.

[21] You left the UFC because of a disagreement with Dana White.

[22] What's the truth?

[23] Easy.

[24] He didn't want a...

[25] And then you fought into Joshua?

[26] Honestly, on that fight, there was a lot of unfairness.

[27] What do you mean?

[28] They have a lot of tricks.

[29] Do you think they were doing that intentionally?

[30] Yeah.

[31] He was so messy.

[32] And then life shows how cruel it's capable of being.

[33] When my boy passed away, that was a moment that I really felt like I fell you.

[34] Have you been able to grieve?

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[41] Francis, we met in a hotel room in Paris.

[42] It was me, you, Tieri, Omri, and Chemi and several other people.

[43] And I knew you from TV.

[44] I'd watched you fight.

[45] but I had no idea about your story.

[46] And it's funny because we all went around one at a time, Tieri, me, and then you, and shared our early story.

[47] And when we came to your story, I just couldn't believe it was true.

[48] I couldn't believe it was true.

[49] Really?

[50] Of course, I'd never heard, and I sit here and interview people for a living, I've never in my life heard a story like that, from where you started to where you ultimately ended up.

[51] And I know you've told it before to some people, but I have to start there.

[52] Because I think it creates the context of everything that you are today and the man that sits in front of me. So if you take me back to West Cameroon in 1986, what would I see?

[53] What was your childhood like?

[54] I think you will see two parents that are just struggling, making it.

[55] that was a carpenter and then a mom that really didn't have a job and then at some point she was doing whatever she finds whether it's like selling cook some stuff and sell in the in the trade so that's that was it in back then back in 1986 the average person lives on $1 ,500 a year in West Cameroon that's what I read Oh, that's a lot.

[56] Oh, really?

[57] $1 ,500 a year.

[58] That's a lot of money.

[59] How much money were your family living on a year?

[60] A year?

[61] Oh, definitely less than that.

[62] Less than thousand, for sure.

[63] And you're in a village of about 11 ,000 people?

[64] Yeah.

[65] I mean, yeah, maybe back then.

[66] I think now it's over 20 or 20 ,000.

[67] people or 30 ,000 people now.

[68] I found some pictures.

[69] Take a look at these pictures.

[70] What are these different pictures?

[71] Can you describe them to me what they are?

[72] Oh, yeah.

[73] This is me and my mom in our kitchen.

[74] Yeah, this was when I won the U .S. Atyaro.

[75] And then I studied there on purpose.

[76] Like, you know, I've been sitting in this kitchen since when I was a kid.

[77] So dreaming about boxing and everything.

[78] So I got to go out there from this kitchen, go out there, get that belt of a world champion and bring it back and set it in that same kitchen and sit in the same spot that I used to sit.

[79] Then I'm like at the end of the day, not only everything is possible is not such a big deal, you know.

[80] For anyone that can't see this because they're listening on audio, with all due respect, it looks like the floor is mud and the walls are mud and bricks yeah so it looks like a mud hut yes that's how we build house because it's the lesser cost you want because you make like a mud to make bricks with it's not like a brick with sand and cement it's just a mud so that's it's like a mud hut yeah and you're sat there on the floor with your mother no on the floor on the chair I mean, I wouldn't call that a chair, but it's a piece of wood.

[81] It's a chair.

[82] A piece of wood, which is a chair.

[83] You can sit in a piece of wood.

[84] It's comfortable.

[85] Was this a happy childhood?

[86] No. Absolutely not.

[87] But for some reason, I think regardless of everything, I owe who I am today to my childhood.

[88] You know, as much as I hate my childhood, my chat hurt, I was so mad, so upset about it, since we didn't have the minimum necessity.

[89] Like, even like brush, toothbrush, stuff like that, you know, book to go to school, even like a patrol to put in the lamp and learn, we didn't have some time.

[90] Sometime, like you see the fire there, right, on the picture, the fire where we are cooking on the wood, sometimes you're going to take your book there.

[91] and read it like this.

[92] So this is just a fire you've made with a bunch of wood and some rocks and you would go and read by that fire so you could see your book?

[93] Yeah.

[94] We cook.

[95] They put some food on top of the bricks or the stone there to cook and then meanwhile you're using the fire or the flame to light up and read your book sometime.

[96] What made your childhood so unhappy though?

[97] What was it?

[98] Other than the problem?

[99] The difficulty, the challenge of everything.

[100] As I said, like, we miss everything.

[101] Most of the time, a lot of time, we will be working barefoot because we don't have shoes.

[102] Or we will be like fixing shoes in 10, in thousand ways, you know, to still have issues.

[103] Our pants will be having holes all over and we will still trying to do.

[104] We will go to school, be embarrassed because maybe sometimes we don't have a pen.

[105] or pencil or notebook or having paid school fee and they're going to kick us out from the classroom.

[106] So all that stuff was embarrassing, not to mention like when come a break time, you don't have something to eat unlike your peers, the other kids, you know, you're just around on your own.

[107] So it was a lot of things.

[108] Everything was a challenge.

[109] And that's why, like, When sometime I'm like, you're people that are being very comfortable, never been in the struggle.

[110] I'm like, oh, money doesn't make happiness, money, blah, blah, blah.

[111] I'm like, give me the money and then keep the happiness.

[112] Because I have been without money and I know what it feels like all day long.

[113] I prefer being with money.

[114] You're really describing the comparison that causes the unhappiness between yourself, your family, who you guys were and the other kids.

[115] Yes, absolutely.

[116] I mean, how many times do I get sick and didn't have a pill?

[117] Couldn't even go to the hospital.

[118] We couldn't even have a peer from around a street.

[119] A pill?

[120] Yeah.

[121] And then you're just home, sick like this, hoping, having some prayers.

[122] Maybe luckily sometime go in the bush and find some remedy to cook.

[123] And hopefully that it works, but you can't afford.

[124] What were you eating during that time when you didn't have the money?

[125] We were farm, corn, beans, peanuts, peanut, stuff like that, yam, cassava, veggies, stuff like that.

[126] Is there a moment you looked back on your childhood and think that was the worst moment for me growing up?

[127] Just a memory or something that happened that you thought this was really the bottom for me?

[128] I would not say the bottom.

[129] I mean, regardless of everything, I think I was lucky and I think I was gifted to be able to handle that appropriate way.

[130] You know, when I look at it today, I'm impressed of the way that I handle it.

[131] And even without knowing where that would lead me, where I was going with that, I just handled it.

[132] like find a way out, but I never, like, feel like a bottom, you know.

[133] In fact, like, one of my biggest motivation came out of that situation.

[134] Like, I was around 13 years old, and it was someday around 3 p .m., they kicked me out of the classroom one more time.

[135] And I think that day I was peace.

[136] I was very peace, like, almost crying, like, okay, what the hell is this?

[137] Like, what do I do?

[138] to deserve this like why is this so unfair you know and then the look of the other kids on me and didn't stand that either you know then therefore he was now a challenge I promise myself that I'm going to change that I'm going to prove them it's not my fault I was just a child just as them which doesn't have the same opportunity as them just who couldn't have a parent that can provide for them but in fact the minimum that i had wish wasn't enough was um something that i worked for i earned i know the value of it and even though you have more they have more than me they didn't earn it you know they they they gave it to them but they didn't earn it i started i started to work in the sand quarry i was uh nine years old so which was a sand mine yeah sand mine And what are you doing?

[139] You're using a shovel to pick up sand and put it in piles.

[140] Yeah, pick up sand or deep, deep sand on the mountain.

[141] So, I mean, I know that, I get to realize that even though I have less, I work for those less and I work hard for that.

[142] And even though they have more, they don't really know the value of what they have.

[143] So, in fact, I'm not beneath them.

[144] In fact, I'm quite.

[145] period.

[146] Why were you kicked out of the classroom that day?

[147] When you were 13.

[148] He was, I think it was a scholarship.

[149] That exact same day, I think, was scholarship, the fee, the schooler fee.

[150] Oh, okay.

[151] So you kicked out of school because you didn't have the money?

[152] Yeah, because I haven't paid the annual fee.

[153] I haven't complete the annual fee.

[154] And yes, that day, it was it.

[155] But, you know, he was the same thing over and over this year, next year, the year after and that day I think it was a signal and now I'm like this is going to change but the problem now I was in the situation that I needed to do more than others to be noticed you know I wanted to prove them that there's no the perception that they have of me is not who I am I'm better than that and yeah so I was 13 years and that's the day that I decided that I was going to be a professional fighter professional boxer it was the day that I really decided growing up I want like karate I want this I want that but I get to the point that I want something that not only would be my passion but at the same time will provide for me and help me to provide for my family as well and then I come across like okay boxing combat sport is the thing to do but problem I'm 13 years old there is not a gym in 50 50 miles radars and I haven't I never see a gym you know I never saw a gym before then and even after that time I think I stayed in the until I was 22 was the moment that I'm like, okay, enough is enough.

[156] I can just be dreaming.

[157] I have to take action.

[158] I have to do something for that dream.

[159] Then I leave the village.

[160] I move to the city.

[161] I move to some place that I don't know.

[162] And then just like say everything that I have to start boxing.

[163] And I was 22 at that time.

[164] I've heard you say as well about your father.

[165] My whole life, my father was the example for me of what not to do.

[166] Yeah.

[167] I think that's the best thing that ever happened to me because if my dad wasn't what he was I could have been what he was but I still love him a lot yeah because again like from my perspective he's the person that affected my life the most he was violent and then I happened but he wasn't capable of canalizing his energy his strain or know how to use it then maybe if they have an argument or something usually at time people were fighting a lot but he was stronger so he basically end up beating other people so makes them the victim and him the guilty right so and then he has a reputation because when you get in so many fights in the in the hood and you're winning any fight so you're just a bad guy you know so it has that reputation from people don't really like his behavior and then that's something that I understand really quick and then who have affected me I didn't want to have that reputation although I like everything that related with power I was very into it but I'm like no no way they are talking to me about my dad basically like the divorce I was six years old so I I started to go live with my aunts and these and everywhere, they'll be like, yes, you just, yeah, he's doing that, he's like his father, he must be like his father, stuff like that.

[168] And he pisses me off, like, so bad, like, I don't want to be, have that reputation, even though I like everything with strain, power fighting, you know.

[169] Then that's how, like, I ended up finding those boxing combat sport stuff.

[170] he was the right thing to do because there was a rules there was a rules he was organized and everything was right to do and you wouldn't affect your reputation when you get into a boxing match or character fight you win you're a winner they celebrate you they don't blame you from beating somebody he was a violent man outside of the home but also inside the home yeah a little bit to you and your mother we would get some We would get some spying.

[171] I mean, in Africa, at that time, that kind of thing was happening a lot into a lot of families.

[172] So he wasn't something, nowadays things are a little different, but he wasn't something that was very different, you know, just so he was kind of like straight, straight guy.

[173] Was he violent towards your mother?

[174] Sometimes.

[175] Sometimes it could happen.

[176] He passed away when you were 15 years old.

[177] Yeah.

[178] How did that impact you at 15 when he passed away?

[179] You know, he wasn't a big part of my life at that time.

[180] But, yeah, you get affected, you think about your dad and the fact that you will never see him again.

[181] You know, time to time for months, you think I am like, man, so this is it.

[182] And yeah, he affected you a lot.

[183] I mean, you're hurt, but just how to keep rolling.

[184] When he passed away, he couldn't afford to go to the hospital.

[185] Yeah.

[186] He was sick.

[187] He was at home for months.

[188] Sick, just stay in bed.

[189] Couldn't even go out to the toilet on his own, anything.

[190] He has one leg that was getting...

[191] rotten and was just there like that until he died.

[192] And that was something that I looked at it and I'm like, man, I think I need to do something, I need to take action because this kind of thing might happen again in the future or to my mom or to somebody close and I won't be, I will be powerless.

[193] and no, it doesn't have to be like this, you know.

[194] So that was one of the reason, like just being sick, be at home and to die.

[195] Maybe we could have saved him if we have money.

[196] Maybe he could have still be alive if he could have gone to the hospital, but nobody knows and nobody will ever know.

[197] A couple of years after I was looking at my mum, and I asked myself if she ever got sick what would I do and it scared the hell out of me at that point I knew I had to do something to at least be able to provide her some decent health care I always wonder what it would be like if my dad was still alive today I wish I can have him in my life today even just for a day yeah well after my dad passed away And then I think that was also a shock of our situation.

[198] I realized, I mean, I was 15.

[199] By the time, I know that our situation wasn't good.

[200] We weren't living in a good condition.

[201] But that was like an eye opening, like, okay, this is how bad it is.

[202] He didn't go to the hospital for months.

[203] I was going there time to time, and he was suffering.

[204] In pain and everything, it didn't go to the hospital.

[205] And even when he passed away, I could have, I keep having nightmares of seeing him, like, in pain, screaming at night, stuff like that.

[206] And I'm like, this is not happening again.

[207] Bro, like, he was tough, right?

[208] So now that was not only, like, I was thinking that when I grew up, I would have a family and I would want to provide them, provide to them.

[209] and then get them in a good situation, in a better condition.

[210] But that was like, okay, there's something that can happen again.

[211] What would you do?

[212] It could be, yes, it could be your mom, it could be one of your siblings, or you could some day be your own kids.

[213] What will you do?

[214] Like just sit there and no, I need to do something.

[215] So that's what I took actions, you know?

[216] And then, yeah, in the, On the other hands, seeing where we were, when my dad passed away, I always wonder, like, what would it be like if he was around?

[217] If he could turn around and see us, what would he say?

[218] Like, how would he feel?

[219] I mean, it's always, and I miss those moments that I replicate our family a lot.

[220] You know, growing up, we never have to eat in the dining table like this.

[221] We don't have a dining table.

[222] But for the past year, I've been replicating that.

[223] Like, I will have nice house with table, dining tables, and sometime I would get there and then regroup everybody in the table.

[224] And then even though I don't speak, I look at that table and know that somebody is missing.

[225] There's one person missing.

[226] You know, to make that a perfect table, you know.

[227] even though it's quite enjoyable to be with those who are there it's still like a blessing to have them but it's still sad not to have one person there you start dreaming at that very young age you start dreaming of a different life and I was reading that you were pretty obsessed with America you were signing your signature San Francisco you're not like obsessed I love America I always love America, like since I, I name myself American boy.

[228] I give myself a nickname of American boy.

[229] When you were young.

[230] Yeah, like kids around will call me an American boy because I tell them that's my name.

[231] And at 17, you said that you left that small town.

[232] Is it called Betty?

[233] Betty, yes, the village.

[234] And that's the village that you left.

[235] And you moved to a different town.

[236] Mm -hmm.

[237] You went to Cameron's largest city where you started boxing.

[238] Yes, duala.

[239] Why did you leave?

[240] He wasn't at 17.

[241] At 17, I left, I abandoned school because I couldn't continue.

[242] Ah, okay, so you left school in 17.

[243] It was at 22.

[244] Okay, so 22, you decided you wanted to move city.

[245] Yeah.

[246] Had you ever been to a gym before, before?

[247] When was the first age you went to a gym?

[248] A boxing gym?

[249] Yeah.

[250] Kind of, 22.

[251] 22.

[252] Yeah.

[253] When I left the village to go find one.

[254] And why did you end up leaving Cameroon?

[255] And what age was it when you left Cameroon?

[256] I left Cameroon.

[257] I was around, I was 26, around 26 when I left Cameroon.

[258] Why did you leave?

[259] Well, I knew that I couldn't make it there as a boxer.

[260] Because I started boxing and I know the reality there.

[261] I know the truth.

[262] Even before I started boxing, I knew the reality.

[263] I knew that it can happen there.

[264] You know, I need a big stage, I need somewhere that there is more, boxing is well developed.

[265] Where did you want to go?

[266] First, he was always America.

[267] But from Cameroon, there wasn't a way to come to America.

[268] I wasn't going to swim to the Atlantic Ocean.

[269] so the easiest way the more paved way was to go to Europe so April the third you're 25 26 years old 2012 which doesn't feel like it was that long ago 2012 is when I left it was 2012 yeah that's when I left that's when I left my secondary school and at that time you were leaving Cameroon yes and your objective was you were going to try and get to Spain or get to Europe?

[270] Yes.

[271] So you were going to walk from Cameroon to Europe?

[272] It wasn't work.

[273] I mean, from Cameroon.

[274] I was in Douala.

[275] I took a bus to Yondon, then I took a train to the train to North Cameroon.

[276] And then we took like a, we started to take like a, how do they call?

[277] Clando.

[278] Is it a lorry?

[279] No, no, no. Small car that, you know, they know how to avoid police station and all those staff on the road.

[280] So that's how we get from Cameroon, north Cameroon to Yola in Nigeria, and then Yola to Cano, and then Cano, Nigeria.

[281] So you traveled from Cameroon to Nigeria to Nigeria, to Morocco?

[282] Yeah.

[283] And then how did you get through the Sahara Desert?

[284] We were lucky.

[285] Our group didn't have so much of a trouble, even though it was 25 of us in the back of a pickup truck.

[286] Yeah.

[287] But we made it.

[288] The truck didn't broke up.

[289] We get it all the same.

[290] people die going on a lot like all the way you will see like skeletons skeletons in the desert and just look other way like no you'd see skeletons and look away yeah how do you afford where does the money come from to get go on this journey to get out of Cameroon and to try and get to Europe because it must cost money yeah from the beginning The beginning is not so hard because it's something that you prepare for for years.

[291] You don't just wake up one day and go like this.

[292] You prepare for.

[293] You don't know how much you need, but you know that the much that you can have, you can use it to go.

[294] So I have some savings that I've been saving for a little while.

[295] I took some with me and I gave some to my little sister.

[296] to keep it ready in case I call because I didn't know where I was going and then we have heard that there's a lot of smuggler on the way so you better don't carry all your money on you so as much as you're going, you're going to call and then they'll send money until it's over and then you start to figure out on your own.

[297] What is the, you say it so casually, but what is the reality of that of that journey.

[298] You know, I was reading that you were drinking, at times drinking water that had dead animals inside the water.

[299] Yeah, when we first crossed the desert, we get to South Algeria in a tamarasset.

[300] We found the water well and it was almost dry and there was a little water that was there for, I think for months, there was dead animal and all the leaves, everything.

[301] thing was inside our water.

[302] But we were so dehydrated because our water finished in the desert like hours ago.

[303] So at time, the water didn't look good at all.

[304] It was pretty bad.

[305] But I think the philosophy right here was like, okay, whether I drink the water and if he has to kill me, it came me later or I just die now by dehydration.

[306] I think when that's the only two choice, it's easy to choose one.

[307] Die now or die later later.

[308] What does all of this experience do to you as a man?

[309] In terms of your resilience and attitude towards life, you probably don't even know because you just are the way that you are, but you must see that you're different from other people in the Western world.

[310] I think in general, in Africa, we are quite different to, um, the Western world we have more not that in the Western world people don't have hardship but we have mostly most of us we have hardship and toughest one for the most part you know like because in the Western world you will not see it's not very often that you will see Kitada have experiment famine you know like going to to sleep without eating or something.

[311] I think the West is more designed to stay away of those kind of trouble.

[312] You might not have home, but you can still have something to eat.

[313] But in Africa, most people, they will not even have that.

[314] And then the good thing, and I think the different that I found so far is that But in Africa, you know from your early age that you're not counting on nobody.

[315] You are not expecting anything from anybody.

[316] It's all on you.

[317] And as long as you get that, the rest of your life get better.

[318] Because you go out there and figure it out.

[319] But you go in a lot of Western country.

[320] and then even though coming from where you come from you see that there's a lot of opportunity and people are stood there sitting complaining we don't have this, this should be like that it should be like that you'll be like man this is like more than all what I need you know because you're at the point that you don't need, you don't just need what can be given to you what will be given to you is just a way, what could be given to you is just a way for you to a bridge to help you get where you're going because you have set your goal way beyond what you can get.

[321] You, how long does it take you to get across the Sahara Desert?

[322] Across the Sahara Desert itself, it took one day.

[323] We didn't stay.

[324] Again, we were lucky.

[325] Our car didn't broke up.

[326] So they drove for about, I think, 20 or 22 hours.

[327] And eventually you get to Morocco.

[328] And from Morocco, you need to get to Spain, which is difficult.

[329] That was the toughest part.

[330] I spent almost one year in Morocco.

[331] Trying to get to Spain.

[332] Yeah, trying to get to Spain.

[333] I did a lot of attempt in the water.

[334] and also in the fences.

[335] When you were living in Morocco, where were you staying?

[336] Wherever you find in the desert, in the forest.

[337] It depends on what you're looking for.

[338] For example, if you want to go to the fence, trying to fence to escalate the fence, which is in Melia, for the most part, then you have to stay in the forest of Gorogo.

[339] It's like living in the forest between trees, you know, and then you hunt.

[340] What are you eating?

[341] What you're eating, everything that you find.

[342] Sometimes there are people that can make trapped and get some animals.

[343] But for the most part, we will wait nighttime to go to the market because the police is always around, you know, the undercover police.

[344] We will wait for the night, for nighttime.

[345] go to the market, go to the market trash, and then find, like, rotten stuff like that they throw away, whether it's tomato, pettos, chicken legs, because they didn't eat chicken legs, who was the best thing for us.

[346] So we will find stuff like that in the trash and go back in the forest and try to make a meal when we don't have money.

[347] At that time, were you trying to figure out, learn how to get to Europe?

[348] we're trying to learn the best way because I can't imagine or did someone tell you how to get to Europe?

[349] There is a lot of people there that is trying to do the same thing.

[350] It's not just you.

[351] You left your house by yourself but by the time you get to some point you start meet people that are in the same journey and by the time you get in Morocco there is a lot, hundreds of people.

[352] Are you training at the time?

[353] Are you trying to stay fit?

[354] Yeah, sometime in the forest I mean, you have nothing to do you will do push up, you would do some apps, but otherwise, what would you do?

[355] And you were still dreaming of being a boxer even though you were in forest?

[356] Oh, yes, that was the thing.

[357] I mean, that was my motivation.

[358] I think if he wasn't about that, I wouldn't have left my country.

[359] He was just about that.

[360] I never thought about anything else.

[361] So that was the reason why I left.

[362] How did you know you'd be good at it?

[363] I didn't know.

[364] But he was about to find out.

[365] I didn't know at all.

[366] I had no idea.

[367] I could have been very bad.

[368] I could be good.

[369] So he was just about to give it a try.

[370] And if he doesn't work, then at least I try.

[371] You know, I think it's the most important thing.

[372] It's to try and give it all.

[373] And if he doesn't work, then.

[374] Well, we reset.

[375] There's two ways to get to Spain.

[376] You can go over the wall, or you can go across the water, through the sea.

[377] Yeah.

[378] And across the water could be very dangerous.

[379] Dangerous and difficult sometimes.

[380] I try a couple of times.

[381] Did you try the wall?

[382] Yeah.

[383] The barbed wire.

[384] Yeah, I tried the barbed wire.

[385] I have a lot of scar on me, a lot of barbed wire scars on me. Really?

[386] Those are barbed wires.

[387] Those, you see my finger?

[388] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[389] Like on my skin, you will find on my stomach here, on my feet.

[390] I have a lot of that.

[391] I try and I attempt in the ocean like six.

[392] I fell six times.

[393] What happens when you try and go over the barbed wire fence?

[394] Is it, do they catch you?

[395] Where the spot that we pick, because it's a, about like 12 or 14 miles of fence with barbed wire.

[396] So we will have like an outlook guy that will go, walk around all those fence, and then like trying to identify a spot that there is not too much barbed wire or that the barbed wire has fell, you know, and when there is not a lot card, because there is guard on the Moroccan side and there is guard on the spent side.

[397] And some way there's like three fences and then bar wires on like maybe the first one or the two.

[398] There's not a chance that unless you can fly, you cannot go there.

[399] And it's like seven meters high.

[400] Seven meters high.

[401] Seven meters high.

[402] So it's not possible with bar wires.

[403] Without bar wires, yeah, that's good.

[404] And then they clean, there's a surrounded of the, offenses so the guy has to stay like far from the distance to trying to identify if there's a failure of barbed wire somewhere you know so it's very difficult and on there is a police a Moroccan on the Moroccan side there is like a boxes of a guard in like an interval I don't know maybe 20 matter.

[405] Every 20 meters, there's a guard.

[406] Yeah, 30 matter, there's a boxes of guard.

[407] Sometimes some boxes can be empty.

[408] But from where we are, you don't see.

[409] Need somebody to go there like a week every time, read, everything, monitor, all the information, you know, like the post, the guard, how they've been the schedule.

[410] Yeah, how they've been changed.

[411] Because It's permanent, but one person doesn't stay there 24 hours.

[412] I think it's like eight hours.

[413] So, you know, when he spotted a spot, that there's not too much barbed wire, then he'll be like, okay, there's an outlook very far there.

[414] There's the outlook from the spent side very far.

[415] And then these boxes, is there guard inside?

[416] He might take him days to just find if, find out if those boxes have guard.

[417] somebody is going to go by and then like wait they can stay in the same spot for like two days just to wait and then when the truck comes to change shift for the guards to change shift and then he will see which box has the guard and which box does a half and then what time they come and these what time they go if they pray what time they go to pray and you need all those information before prepare a attack and eventually you prepared an attack for the fence yeah and sometimes you prepare the attack you see all those you collect all those information then as you are getting closer to the fence you realize that there was a barbed wire you couldn't just see from where you were at, you know?

[418] Or that maybe there's someone that is in the floor, they dig like five meters long like this, wide, and then they throw barbed wires all the way.

[419] Then you ran, you ran by maybe 30 meters or 100 meters, they can see you coming, they know that you're coming.

[420] Now you're taking advantage on like, because you're in a group of a people, and then you get closer and then you find like five meter barbed wire you can jump five meter it's not possible you know so so what do you run back what you run back or some by the time you run back if it's a group of you some people will fall in the barbed wire because they didn't see or maybe you're in the front line you see but you can't go back because there are people a mask behind you coming the private just push and then you fall inside the barbed Did you ever try and climb the fence?

[421] And did you get caught?

[422] Yeah, I tried to climb my fence.

[423] I get out of those barbed wires on the floor once.

[424] And that was the time that I fell in the barbed wire.

[425] I tried to climb the fence.

[426] But the barbed wire on the fence was...

[427] Painful.

[428] Big.

[429] Like, I was trying to hold it and he was just...

[430] Catch my face like...

[431] I'm like, oh, okay.

[432] I see.

[433] Like, so, and I get to the point that I'm like, you know, I'd rather be a life without being a Europe, instead of being dead in Europe.

[434] Like, wait, it's going to be another time.

[435] It's not possible.

[436] So you eventually decide that you want to go via the sea in a boat.

[437] You're going to try and take a small little dingy?

[438] Yeah, that was, that was, I mean, even before I tried the barbed wire, the first thing that I tried, it was a, boat.

[439] And why did that not work?

[440] I mean, it's not like the boat is a small inflatable boat that you can use in your swimming pool, stuff that they use in the swimming pool.

[441] We call it a dingy.

[442] You can put it in the swimming pool.

[443] You get it in Walmart.

[444] In Walmart.

[445] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[446] So that's a, you tried to cross from Morocco to Spain in one of these small inflatable boats.

[447] You couldn't swim.

[448] No, I don't know how to swim.

[449] But guess what?

[450] I ended up being a captain.

[451] Captain of the what?

[452] Of the boat.

[453] Because it's still needed a captain.

[454] He's needed somebody to organize, somebody that knows how to pattern, somebody know where we are going, somebody know how to organize, like, for 10 people to get in the same boat, going from the ground to the ocean, and then, like, how to they get all those organizations.

[455] And then I practice, I did it so many times that I became an expert.

[456] And I still don't know how to swim.

[457] You tried six times to get across.

[458] What happened in those six times?

[459] Sometimes we get caught.

[460] The majority of time we get caught.

[461] And what does that?

[462] What happens if you get caught?

[463] They send you back to the desert.

[464] They send you back to the desert.

[465] Yeah, to the desert.

[466] Not to Morocco.

[467] No. You are in Morocco.

[468] You get caught by the Morocco guard.

[469] Yeah, but then they just bring you back to the city or something?

[470] No. because they have been financed to protect people from area border.

[471] They have been financed by European Union or something like that from holding you guys down there.

[472] So every time that they catch somebody, they make a report of that person that, okay, we cut somebody and then we send them back out of Morocco.

[473] They will just bring you to the Algeria border in the desert.

[474] and throw you guide there and you will figure out your way.

[475] So they throw you back in the desert without food every time you got caught?

[476] Yeah.

[477] I mean, it's pretty horrible.

[478] Why is life?

[479] And even till today, there's people out there still doing the same thing.

[480] And even though he's getting harder and harder, I don't know how they do, but I don't want to find out.

[481] It's horrible.

[482] So you would, but then you went back again and tried again for a, seventh time.

[483] Why didn't you give up?

[484] You've tried the fence.

[485] The fence doesn't work.

[486] You've tried crossing six times in a small inflatable boat.

[487] That doesn't work.

[488] Why don't you give up?

[489] What for?

[490] Give up, go back to Cameroon, maybe live in Morocco.

[491] Go back to what?

[492] Don't I get a job in Morocco?

[493] Why couldn't I?

[494] Why shouldn't I try again?

[495] It was all about trying.

[496] And I think like when your dream is so big, when you have something, it's hard to give up.

[497] You know, like, you get to the point that you're capable of risking more for just a dream, which is something that a normal person will not understand.

[498] Like, I just ask myself now, like, why didn't I give up at that time?

[499] Why do I keep doing this?

[500] Why did I take those risks?

[501] Because there was a moment that even now I think about it.

[502] I'm like, that was stupid.

[503] It was like a dead sentence.

[504] You just get lucky from coming out there alive, you know?

[505] But I took those decisions.

[506] Your dream was so big that he blinds you.

[507] You couldn't see anything else except what you have, not what is in front.

[508] You couldn't see anything in front of you.

[509] except what you have in your mind.

[510] You could only see what is in your mind and regardless what is in front of you, what the obstacle is in front of you, you can only see what in your mind and nothing could stop you.

[511] And what was that in your mind that was pulling you?

[512] Dream.

[513] Dream to make it to go, have that boxing, you know, that boxing career.

[514] set up a stability for me and my family and my potential kids so they don't have to go to what I've been through.

[515] You know, so I knew that if I gave up, I wouldn't be able to look in myself in the mirror like this.

[516] He would have been a shame of to live with myself.

[517] I couldn't live with myself.

[518] He was hard.

[519] You thought about it.

[520] You think about like, oh, maybe, maybe there's not a way.

[521] word for like going back and then maybe some not really have something to do and someday you see your child get sick and you feel powerless just as your parent were to you and like no that's not happening and then the seventh attempt was successful yeah take me take me to that seventh attempt of getting across the sea to get to europe you you get in the boat there's you and a couple of other men you start paddling the sixth attempt was close to the winter we get caught and i was this close we were already on the other side we get caught by a army he wasn't even like the um uh i don't know how the the the coast guard he wasn't even the coast guard he was the army with a big ship and they were just passing by going somewhere after three hours inside the ocean we were paddling we knew that we are getting there and then we get caught back in morocco they knew that we are gone we made it and then uh at that time he was like close to winter the winter was coming the water wasn't stable anymore we couldn't at tempt anymore.

[522] And for me, he was that, I tell myself that the day that I'm touching the ocean again, I'm not coming back ever.

[523] I don't know exactly what I was willing to do, but I'm like, it's not happening.

[524] This is it.

[525] You know, my frustration was top to the level.

[526] So, we're, uh, We recruit back in the forest trying those trine fences or just stayed there during the winter because the water, I mean, yes, you can't try some crazy stuff, but only when you see that there's an ounce of a chance.

[527] But when you look at the oceans, the big monster rising up with those waves, you know that you cannot go through.

[528] there's no way no you can do that on a small boat on a small inflatable boat and then it's cold it's freezing so I think what was even scary the most was the cold you would just get frozen out there you know so I stayed in the forest for like months months and once when the winter was by the touch in the end I had a friend that people He was in Tangier and then he reached out to me. He said, I have a ship, let's go.

[529] I couldn't leave Tangier.

[530] I did everything.

[531] I get to the bus station and there was so much police and this.

[532] I didn't want to end up in the desert in Ushda.

[533] I'm like, okay, just.

[534] And then the next day, the next day, we are running from the police from 4 a .m. to like maybe 4 p .m. We came back to our spot.

[535] I opened my phone.

[536] I saw like 12 missed call.

[537] I checked.

[538] And then he was like, Eto made it.

[539] Ito was the guy that was calling me. I'm like, damn, I could have been making it too with them.

[540] Did they get, they got to Europe?

[541] Yeah, they got to Europe.

[542] like bro come on i couldn't sleep there anymore and i have a lot of call and people was like yes we want you to be our captain you wait this that that i'm like i'm going you know and i didn't want any promises like oh we're going to do this buy a boat in one week or no i have a guy that we've been talking for a long time he said i have a boat already i'm like let's go so you get on a boat an inflatable boat I heard that you wrapped yourself in silver foil.

[543] No, no, I didn't.

[544] But I was planning, we put a life jacket, though.

[545] The one thing that we are very strict about is a life jacket.

[546] Yeah.

[547] I didn't, but because over time, you learn a lot of stuff.

[548] And you know that those silver foil would deviate radiation from like a, you know, the radar.

[549] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[550] So if you wear this over, then the radar can't find you.

[551] Yeah, the radar can find you.

[552] He can see you.

[553] Because when the radar is going like this, and then he see like, I think it's infrared or something, and then he see movement, he'll like, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, but when you have that silver for you, they can see you.

[554] So that time, tell me about this successful journey.

[555] You get in the boat, not you and a few other men, you're the captain.

[556] No, we didn't get in the boat.

[557] I went to Rabah, which there were.

[558] What's Rabah?

[559] A city.

[560] Okay.

[561] I went from Nado to Raba to meet them.

[562] Like, okay, when are we going to Tangay?

[563] Because I've been in, I've been living in Tangier for so long until winter that I went back to Nado.

[564] So they are living in a Rabah, which is kind of like a city.

[565] And they have those little job of construction.

[566] I'm like, when are we going?

[567] I meet them there and like, okay, let's go down.

[568] I'm like, oh, we are still working.

[569] We are going to get paid on Saturday.

[570] And this is when, like, I think this was like, Tuesday.

[571] I'm like, bro, I'm not staying here until Saturday.

[572] Bro, my blood was boiling.

[573] I'm like, man, I miss this.

[574] I could have been making it with the other guy that called me. So, we, they are leader, the head guy of the group, he said, okay, then I'll go with you.

[575] Because I was a captain, I need to go and check the place and everything.

[576] Say, I'll go with you.

[577] The rest of people, they can wait until we get, everything is good.

[578] We give them a sign so they can come.

[579] We move.

[580] By the time we touch ground, we are stepping down of the body.

[581] Because in Tangier, I got sick, I got a fever.

[582] And we are going to this house inside mud.

[583] We have to take our shoes off, walk inside mud, to get into this house, to sleep, something like that.

[584] And I was sick, bro.

[585] But I can't tell anybody that I'm sick.

[586] I'm the captain.

[587] And people saw me in Tangier, then I'm like, wow, this guy is here, he's going to make it is not coming back so they are trying to bribe the the guy that i was to get them in the in the group and you i'm like no we collect the money together to buy um to buy the boat so i can kick take anybody out of it um i'm like if uh because they call me vandam they say if vandam is the captain you guys are not coming back you're going to make it and i was sick knows.

[588] So long story short, we've been there for like couple days and I didn't even have any money to eat.

[589] And then, but I check and turn it every day to check the weather.

[590] The weather.

[591] To see how the ocean is.

[592] And he wasn't so stable and I found one day I think was Tuesday and he was the second, April second, to 3rd.

[593] 2013 and I say, this day is good because this is the speed of the wind, this is the direction of the wind, this, this, I know that thing, I don't know how I know it, but by the time I know it properly, I was a captain.

[594] So I say, tell your guy to come this day because we're living.

[595] By the time they come with the boat, we are not sleeping here with the boat.

[596] We have to just be going with the boat because it's a very even the police when they're like uh bused into houses they will search for that and they came we get to the to the to where we were going next to where we were going but the police car was up there so we couldn't inflate here and then put the raffle inside the ocean without them seeing us now we have to make a detour all night long we make a detour to go somewhere in the front and even though I was sick usually captain you don't carry staff because they protect you for the big action for the main action which is inside the ocean and then while we are making these detours some people are being left behind and this I'm like bro where is the boat where is the raffle they say oh it's here he's still this guy I'm like bring that raffle if you stay back stay alone don't stay back with the raffle I take that thing and like if somebody want to go he has to catch up with me and just lead the way and keep going and all night we go up and then finally go down to the step and find a place and he was all rocks and I'm there you know we used to go to where to the beach so there is a sand it's easier because like when you walk to the sand like this to go inside water and every footstep get you deeper and deeper.

[597] Now you're in the mirror of rocks and then the ocean is there.

[598] You don't know how deep is the ocean there and how you're going to get in that ocean.

[599] You can just jump like this to get in the ocean and then the wave was so strong.

[600] You will hear like, damn.

[601] Was it nighttime?

[602] Yeah, early in the morning.

[603] Okay.

[604] Because we are waiting, we are aiming to do this when the call for 5 a .m. prayer.

[605] Okay.

[606] Yeah.

[607] But we get little late because of those two.

[608] But I'm the captain, I'm the one that everybody's expecting on me. And he was nine of us.

[609] So I tell them, okay, with me here, let me find him.

[610] place.

[611] You know, when something is yours, it's yours.

[612] I walked around and I get somewhere in the mirror of rocks, I found a spot just bigger, as big as this table, enough to inflate the boat, just enough, no more than that.

[613] And it was like this, clean.

[614] I touched it.

[615] There wasn't anything sharp on it, just like that.

[616] Enough.

[617] I went back and called the other guys.

[618] I'm like, let's go.

[619] They came, I'm like, okay, let's inflate the boat.

[620] Eventually, the boat gets in the water, you go.

[621] Yeah.

[622] And the boat is rescued by the American Red Cross.

[623] By the Red Cross.

[624] I don't know if it was.

[625] We know there was a Red Cross base in Spain, in Tariffa.

[626] Did you get to, you got to Spain?

[627] We didn't get there, but we know that there is a Red Cross inside the ocean.

[628] In fact, in fact, we have their numbers.

[629] So you knew that.

[630] there was a red cross there.

[631] So you got close to Spain.

[632] And then the red cross came and got you.

[633] We get far from the Moroccan's coast, but we don't know where is the limit.

[634] But we just get far from this coast and then trying to get as farther as possible inside the ocean and core.

[635] But the problem is that you're in the middle of the ocean.

[636] And even though it's where lands the closest distance of the two continents, from this side you can see the other side but in the mirror of the ocean when they say where are you what are you seeing you can really give them a direction so sometimes because their goal is just to rescue you their goal is not to bring you to Spain and if they cannot find you they will even call a Moroccan coast guard for help and if you know your locking day you get fined by a Moroccan coast guard you know where you're going you're going back to so we paddle like for one i think it was like hour and half almost two hours and then there was a helicopter in in front of us and he was like standing there like he was looking about something and i tell the guy that okay this is not a good sign whether this helicopter can play again us or he can play for us what we do call we call now because if they ask what are you seeing, we will see the helicopter is right above us.

[637] And then we call.

[638] So you called the Red Cross.

[639] We called the Red Cross.

[640] You called the Red Cross.

[641] Yes.

[642] And what did you say?

[643] For the rescue.

[644] Oh, we are inside the ocean.

[645] We need help.

[646] And then I don't know.

[647] We'll pick up the phone and start to ask if we have, yes, how many people?

[648] Do you have ladies in the boat and this?

[649] I'm like, what the hell is?

[650] problem.

[651] We are human being and I'm like, yes, we have ladies, even kids.

[652] We didn't have kids, we didn't have kids.

[653] I'm like, what's that?

[654] What's different that makes?

[655] Like, you will just let us here because, like, yes, even kids.

[656] And say, okay, what are you seeing?

[657] We see, we see the helicopter right there above.

[658] Say, okay, we're coming.

[659] And they found you?

[660] Yeah, and then right after that, he started rain and the water really get bad he was moving now we are in the mirror of the ocean in this little boat just like this table and he's like going all we get tired in the mirror we were it was nine of us how long did it take for the red cross to find you uh like 10 10 to 15 minutes it's quick yeah and they they take you yeah I think a little more, maybe like 20 minutes.

[661] And they take you to Spain?

[662] And then when they find us, because now he was a little harder to find us because he was raining and the ocean wasn't stable.

[663] You know, when the ocean is stable, you can see something from fireway.

[664] Now, there's something crazy that happened inside the ocean.

[665] Like from the coast, the ocean is flat.

[666] When you get inside at some point, bro, ocean has mountain.

[667] Like there's a way that you're climbing and then until you get to the peak and then there's a way that you're going down inside the ocean.

[668] I don't know how it works but it's exactly like that and you can see like a huge mountain inside the ocean.

[669] And they took you to Spain?

[670] Yeah, they found us and then took us in their boat.

[671] They have a real boat, you know, like solid, big boat.

[672] They took us inside and then brought us to their headquarter, which is in Spain.

[673] And you stayed in Spain in a detention center in a cell with 10 or 20 other men for two months?

[674] Yes, it was like, I think, 53 days.

[675] How were you treated?

[676] Treated.

[677] We were eating.

[678] But it was a prison, though.

[679] was it quite a prison.

[680] I think you get to the point that, you know, I'm like, maybe they should they just let us inside the ocean or maybe we were better in Morocco because you are locked, you can do anything, you realize that you had freedom, even though your life wasn't the best.

[681] That's when, I mean, you're here, you're getting feet every day.

[682] But they tell you where, when to, to eat, when to shower, when to go sleep, when to go out, and everything.

[683] And after like a couple weeks, he started to become hot.

[684] Because at first you were excited.

[685] I'm like, oh, I made it.

[686] You're excited.

[687] I'm in Spain.

[688] I'm in Europe.

[689] But after a couple of weeks, I'm like, come on, man. Like, I need my sentence now.

[690] Because if you had a fake idea at one point, And if you...

[691] Oh, no. When you get caught, you make sure that you don't even have a receipt or whatever on you.

[692] So you threw it in the water?

[693] Oh, yeah.

[694] When did you throw it in the water when you saw the Red Cross?

[695] I know.

[696] When you're sure that the Red Cross will get you, because otherwise, that will be your way out in Morocco.

[697] Sometime he can prevent you not to be thrown in the desert.

[698] When did they...

[699] They released you from the detention center in Spain.

[700] Yes.

[701] Eventually, after almost two months.

[702] And they gave you 50 euros.

[703] No, not from the detention center.

[704] There is an association that come, charity for refugees, some organization that are out there.

[705] So they will come, take you and then bring you to their place.

[706] And where did you want to go?

[707] What was the plan?

[708] So you're now in Spain, you're free.

[709] You've got 50 euros.

[710] So my plan, first of all, was to go to...

[711] First, I wanted to go to the UK.

[712] UK.

[713] But I knew that even though I'm in Europe, the free circulation in Europe would not allow me to get in the UK because they are not in that zone, in the Schengen zone.

[714] So I think I settled for Germany because I wanted a place that boxing was big.

[715] But somehow I was in a group of people that most of them, they were like, oh, we are going to France, oh, Shanzili, all this, all that.

[716] And in the 9th of June, 2013, 26 years old now, you arrive in Paris.

[717] And I read that on your first day in Paris, you figured out where to eat, where to sleep, and you found a boxing gym.

[718] Where did you sleep when you arrived in Paris?

[719] In the parking lot.

[720] You slept in a parking lot?

[721] Yeah.

[722] How long did you sleep in the parking lot for?

[723] Like two months.

[724] For two months, you slept in a parking lot.

[725] How did you, how did you, so you arrive in Paris, you're sleeping in a car park.

[726] How do you find a gym, pay for a gym?

[727] Oh, next day, I was after it.

[728] So I finally get where I could start that dream that I've been having for a decade.

[729] What do you do?

[730] Do you just walk up to the boxing gym and say, hey, can I come here for free?

[731] Yeah, basically what?

[732] I walk in the front desk and they gave me this form.

[733] And then I saw the prize and everything and I couldn't afford it.

[734] Then I'm like, can I talk to a coach, to the boxing coach?

[735] And the lady said, the boxing coach is not there today, but he has, his substitute is there.

[736] You can talk to him.

[737] I just explained straightforward, like, okay, I arrived in Paris yesterday.

[738] I don't have where to sleep.

[739] You know, but what I want, I want a place to train.

[740] So that's why I wanted to see a boxing coach if you can let me train here because I have no money.

[741] I have nowhere to sleep.

[742] I have nothing.

[743] but the only thing that I'm asking for is a place to train because I want to become a world champion.

[744] Straightforward, that was it.

[745] And he said, if you have a phone number, give me your phone number, I'll speak to a boxing coach, he will be here on Wednesday, and I'll give you a call back.

[746] That's how I gave him my phone number, I had a phone.

[747] And then on Thursday morning, he called me, and he said, yes, I spoke to the coach and he agreed that you can come and train and the next training is Saturday and that's how he started.

[748] Didier Carmont?

[749] Yeah, Didier Carmont.

[750] Didier Carmont was that man that you met that day in the boxing gym that gave you a chance and he let you train for free?

[751] How...

[752] He spoke on my behalf to the coach who let me...

[753] Let you train?

[754] Yeah.

[755] And they gave you a new pair of shoes.

[756] I read that he gave you keys to an apartment to sleep in as well.

[757] Yes.

[758] After like two months, he gave me a key.

[759] He has like one apartment that he was, I think was Airbnb or renting out and then he'd get free for a couple of days.

[760] And at time, I think he knows me a little bit more and he gave me that apartment for almost two months.

[761] He changed your life, didn't he?

[762] Because if he hadn't have said yes, if he hadn't have introduced you to the person, if he hadn't helped you.

[763] He helped me a lot.

[764] he helped me a lot changed my life i think it's too much say but he helped me a lot um i mean we were at the gym and then he knows exactly my situation because i was uh clear to him telling him everything but other people at the gym didn't know and in fact he he at some point even tell me that you don't have to tell your story to everybody they don't need to know your situation you know like why did he help you why did he help you because it was kind He just liked me and liked to help me and hear me a lot.

[765] It's because he didn't have a reason.

[766] No, he didn't.

[767] A lot of people will have expectation that maybe at time you would not know, but later on you will find out.

[768] But he was just genuine.

[769] He never had like an expectation.

[770] You know, in fact, sometimes he's the guy that sometimes you will even call.

[771] He will not be around.

[772] shut down his phone and everything, he's always been like that.

[773] Because it was quite difficult to become a boxer in France without having all the correct identity papers, he eventually suggests that you take up mixed martial arts as a way to make some quick money.

[774] And in 2013, 26 years old, you went to the MMA factory in France and introduced yourself to a coach called Fernand Lopez.

[775] And within four months, I mean, he saw something special in you in terms of MMA.

[776] And within four months, I mean, he saw something special in you in terms of months of that, you had your first MMA fight.

[777] Yeah.

[778] What did you think when you first saw the sport of MMA?

[779] Did you, had you ever heard of MMA before?

[780] No. So DJ was the first one to talk to me about MMA.

[781] I'm like, oh yes, you have a good striking if you do MMA.

[782] I'm like, what's MMA?

[783] Mixed martial out.

[784] Okay, good.

[785] Then what's that?

[786] Was mixed martial out?

[787] So yes, it's like boxing, with wrestling with this.

[788] I'm like, ah, I think I have seen that once on the I was watching TV, I see something like that.

[789] Like, yes, if you have, if you learn some good wrestling, some take down the fence, a little bit of a grappling and this, I'm like, what's grappling?

[790] So explain the whole thing to me. And this is back in 2013, June 2013.

[791] And I'm like, bro, nah, that's not what I want.

[792] I won, you know, the Mike Tyson boxing, right?

[793] So yes, I'm like, that's what.

[794] I won.

[795] You fought five times in Europe before you were signed for the UFC, which is quite remarkable because a lot of people spend many, many, many, many years trying to get into the UFC.

[796] You fought just five times in Europe before you were offered a chance to fight in the UFC.

[797] I didn't even, I wasn't even planning to go to the UFC.

[798] And, but as soon as I started, I started to fight in France, then he became, he became very hard for me. to have a fight in France.

[799] People didn't want to find me. Fight me. Why?

[800] Or they say, I'm brutal.

[801] And now I'm like, it's a fighting game.

[802] I mean, the goal is to be brutal.

[803] And then I'm not having fight because I'm brutal.

[804] I heard your coach.

[805] He actually posted on Facebook saying, asking if anyone in Europe wanted to fight you.

[806] That's true.

[807] Will anybody in Europe fight Francis?

[808] Yes.

[809] Nobody wanted to fight you?

[810] I mean, no, anybody at that level.

[811] Because even though a lot of people didn't want to fight me, I was still on experience.

[812] So he's not like they will just give me to anybody.

[813] But nobody either, like, want to take a risk.

[814] There's not a gain for an elite fighter to fight me. He's risking of losing everything, but not quite a lot to gain.

[815] Were you aiming to be in the UFC?

[816] Because now you knew what MNA was.

[817] But when you started becoming an MMA fighter, were you trying to get into the UFC?

[818] No. How did that happen?

[819] I was just like, you know, training because I had time.

[820] I was jobless.

[821] So I have all my time and I like to train.

[822] And I found MMA very exciting.

[823] I like all those staff.

[824] So I was training, boxing, MMA.

[825] And then I started to fight MMA.

[826] And sometime, maybe.

[827] I would have like a couple hundred euro fighting MMMA who was very welcome at the time.

[828] So I'm like, let's do this.

[829] But that was it.

[830] And people keep saying, oh, if you improve your jujuice.

[831] So if you do this, you're going to become a UFC champion.

[832] Like, then what?

[833] I really, like, I was so focused on boxing.

[834] And then, but I think like MMA came to me and gave me that opportunity.

[835] And then all of the sudden, I'm sure I have the UFC contract.

[836] How did that happen?

[837] How did that happen?

[838] Did they call you or your agent or your manager?

[839] So I think Fernando, no, a guy that was a manager at time.

[840] Tiago Ok. Tiago Okamura.

[841] Yeah.

[842] And then he was the guy that was pitching me to the UFC.

[843] Okay.

[844] So your manager, your coach knew someone who was pitching you to the UFC?

[845] Yeah, the manager.

[846] And then that's how I get, that's how I get the UFC contract.

[847] Where was your first fight in the UFC?

[848] Orlando.

[849] Orlando.

[850] Was that your first time in America?

[851] Yeah.

[852] It was the first time.

[853] And I remember, like, I get there.

[854] And I'm like, okay.

[855] And there was somebody at the airport.

[856] with a tablet with my name on it, and then pick me up with a card like, brought me to the hotel.

[857] They hired residency, they checked me in, brought me to my room.

[858] How did it feel?

[859] Then I call home, I called my mom, I'm like, I don't know what it is, but I think your son has made it.

[860] Finally, get to that, like, I mean, like I get to America, basically.

[861] So that's what Because for so many years America was the dream to get in America and I get in America and in a big way not the way that I get in Europe because I get in Europe in the service door I get in America basically on on the red carpet that was it that was 2015 2015 how much that first fight does that first fight make you rich no You don't get paid much for the first UFC fight.

[862] Yeah, he was $10 ,000 plus $10 ,000 win bonus.

[863] And then with all the commissions, you got out with almost just half.

[864] But he wasn't about the fight.

[865] He was more about, like, I think me coming to America and all the stuff, he was more than what I was making in the fight.

[866] That's nine years after you left Cameron.

[867] Maroon, you fought for the UFC heavyweight championship belt.

[868] And eventually you won that belt and you held that UFC heavyweight title.

[869] Yeah, but I lost.

[870] I fought before.

[871] Yeah, you fought quite a lot.

[872] Yeah.

[873] Yes, I fought in 2018.

[874] Yeah.

[875] Yeah.

[876] But eventually you won.

[877] The same guy.

[878] Yeah.

[879] I lost.

[880] I've watched your career.

[881] So I've watched the journey and it, it felt like for the first start of your career, I don't know.

[882] It felt like maybe you weren't as focused.

[883] But then it felt like this this other half of your UFC career, something had changed.

[884] I was focused.

[885] It's just that I didn't, I never, I never done sport before.

[886] I didn't grow up as an athlete.

[887] So I didn't know how they do.

[888] I didn't know how they train.

[889] I didn't know how they prepare for a championship.

[890] I didn't know anything.

[891] So I was just out there trying.

[892] And then in that fight, I did a lot of mistake.

[893] And I learned from it.

[894] And I'm like, okay, the good thing, I might have lost this fight, but this fight would be the biggest fight in my career because everything that is coming after this fight, everything that I learned in this fight, I will implement that in my game, in my career from now on, and he will be quite helpful.

[895] You have the hardest punch ever recorded by the UFC, the equivalent of 93 horsepower.

[896] A smart car by comparison maxes out at 80.

[897] horsepower and they called you the predator.

[898] You did eventually win the UFC heavyweight title and you held it between 2021, 2021 and 2023 and eventually you left the UFC in January 2023 because of basically a disagreement with the UFC with Dana White about, I guess, freedom and money?

[899] Yes, freedom and treatment.

[900] the way that I was being treated.

[901] I didn't like it.

[902] Was there ever a moment where you realized that you'd really made it?

[903] You know, you're a young man that come from Cameroon.

[904] You walked your way out of the, you know, through Africa, and then you got on a boat and went to Spain and then from Spain to Paris, then from Paris to America, and then you reach the highest mountain, which is you win the UFC.

[905] heavyweight title which is like the peak of fighting was there a moment where you thought i've made it it's not like you reach the higher mountain you know uh whatever mountain you are on top there's always then when you get in the peak of a mountain you realize there's another mountain that's higher you know and um you realize that what motivate you what keep you going wasn't the peak of the mountain but he was the peak of all mountain so then you keep it's never a satisfaction even though you you take a moment and I'm like oh finally make it to the top you know you take a breath but you know that you keep going it's I think it's a mindset that you have and basically will not stop like you don't have a limit you don't have a place that you say okay if I get here then I'm done.

[906] There's always something around.

[907] There's always something which is set as a higher mountain, you know.

[908] So, but I think what I do is to take time, you know.

[909] I like to go home a lot and I like to go back on my path.

[910] And every step, every time I will be there, I'm like thinking of the moment that I was there like maybe 15 years ago and he would feel like he was just yesterday and I were trying to see like where I am today, you know, see the different that's exactly when I realised because when I'm here, I'm just living like it's normal like everybody like he was just like this all the time but when I get back I connect with the past and then I realize how far the road has been and you've really gone I mean it's been an incredible job has your mother ever seen you fight in the UFC.

[911] Has she ever been there?

[912] No, I tried.

[913] I tried to get her to my fight back in 2019.

[914] She couldn't get a visa.

[915] She got denied twice.

[916] And I'm like, okay, this is so stressful.

[917] I'm not doing it again.

[918] It was also embarrassing, stressful.

[919] And even for her, it was very tough.

[920] And I'm like, okay, I'm not putting her to this again.

[921] There will be a moment.

[922] I think if I set up, if I set things up pretty good, there will be a moment that things would be easier for her to see me fight.

[923] Why are you fighting?

[924] Why are you fighting now?

[925] I mean, you made, I mean, the reason you left the UFC was because of freedom issues and you didn't like the treatment.

[926] You wanted to be free.

[927] The argument you had with Dana, you know, you say that essentially you weren't willing to comply with the system of the UFC where you don't really have the option to go and box and do other things.

[928] Dana White said that you're in a place where you wanted to take less risks and you wanted to fight lesser opponents for more money.

[929] So we're going to let him do that.

[930] Is that true?

[931] Do you agree with what he said?

[932] He said you wanted to take less risks and fight other opponents, lesser opponents, to make more money.

[933] I think if we have to spend time to talk about like what Dana White say, if it's true or not, we're going to spend a whole night here and then don't be okay with a lot of things.

[934] I think the situation was a little bit embarrassing for him and then he was going to make a statement and find his way out.

[935] Less of opinion, like living my comfortable career in MMA that I'm quite comfortable into to step into boxing.

[936] to take the best for my first boxing match, which I never really do a professional boxing match.

[937] Does that sound like an easy fight?

[938] I mean, I think he has to say something.

[939] And those who know, those who know, know that he just has to say something to get out of that situation.

[940] What's the truth?

[941] Easy.

[942] He didn't want to compromise.

[943] He didn't want to change.

[944] And I feel like, That situation wasn't good for me. And I tell myself, if that's the end, then let it be.

[945] I mean, in fact, I had no guarantee that the boxing that I've been dreaming of doing, I would have to do it.

[946] He would happen at the time.

[947] But I didn't just want to comply and do things that I'm not okay with, just because they led me with that one option to say yes.

[948] with things that I don't like.

[949] That was the thing.

[950] I was very aware that could be it.

[951] But he has to be on my term.

[952] And even though he means like going back to Africa, you know, I don't know, farm.

[953] I love farming, I always love farm.

[954] And if that means I had to go back and farm, I was okay with it.

[955] So I made my peace with my peace with my myself at time and that's why I stood with my decision.

[956] I turned down a lot of money that I didn't have at time.

[957] I was, for the most part, I was broke.

[958] I was living out of loan.

[959] So, yes.

[960] You're the heavyweight champion of the world in the UFC.

[961] You're broke.

[962] I mean, no, that broke.

[963] When I say I was broke, I mean, for a heavyweight champion, I wasn't.

[964] were comfortable.

[965] Yeah, I wasn't comfortable.

[966] Were you a millionaire?

[967] Maybe, but never made a million a fight.

[968] But the most you made was 500 ,000 pounds?

[969] Except if I have accepted to sign a new contract, I would have been having a lot of money.

[970] But that contract was coming with a lot of things that I was fighting against.

[971] and that's why I didn't sign.

[972] So I'm like, okay, whatever this deal is, whatever this contract is, I'm fighting this contract of instead of renewing the contract for and have more money and really have nothing changed, that means I'm setting myself up for another years in the same situation that I'm giving away all the power in a contract that is not giving me any power.

[973] power you wanted was freedom.

[974] Yeah, was freedom, was it possibly to say, okay, this is no right.

[975] You can do this, you know, or you have to do this.

[976] You have, I mean, I need a obligation.

[977] I don't want a one side contract.

[978] I don't want a contract that, okay, there is, I have no right.

[979] But in the other hand, the other side of the table have no obligation.

[980] So in fact, I mean, I'm giving everything for nothing, just for money.

[981] I want some of that leverage.

[982] So you wanted to be able to decide and you wanted...

[983] Not like to decide, but I want at least some responsibility on the other side showing toward me. You know, I want some responsibility.

[984] For example, when I come to like, say, healthcare, for that level, for the money that I could have been making for the money that I would have been making if I had signed that contract, I could have any kind of healthcare that I want.

[985] But at the same time, I also want the guy on the other side of the table to take some responsibility.

[986] I'm like, okay, I'm giving you a health care, for example.

[987] So you wanted something like healthcare included?

[988] Yeah.

[989] I want stuff like that.

[990] I want something like a guarantee since i'm making this of a living and i'm exclusive to you you guarantee me that whenever i could fight you find something for me you're obligated to give me a fight know that because if i don't sign a contract and you want me to sign and you want me to run out of money and crawl back to you because i need those money then you staff me and not give me a fight okay even though you know that even though you know that you know that i'm I might need to, just because you know that I might need two or three fight to make a living, to keep up my lifestyle, then you strengthen down to one fight.

[991] So I will be needing money and then will be forced to take a contract that I don't want just because I need money.

[992] So I want to make sure I'm super clear on this.

[993] You essentially wanted a guarantee of fights within the contract so that you could live.

[994] A guarantee of engagement.

[995] I'm giving everything.

[996] I'm giving of all my right.

[997] Exclusivity.

[998] Exclusivity and everything.

[999] So you can't go and do anything else?

[1000] But I really, yes, but you are not committed to anything.

[1001] So, okay, so I'm the UFC.

[1002] I'm not committed to anything, but you have to give up your exclusivity.

[1003] Yeah.

[1004] And I'm not even guaranteeing that I'm going to give you.

[1005] And then some, some exclusivity in that contract, say, in perpetuity.

[1006] Forever.

[1007] Yeah.

[1008] So exclusive forever in certain situations.

[1009] But at the same time, you really have no obligation.

[1010] but I have no responsibility obligation to give you anything so it's really one -sided yeah okay so if if you decide not to give me a fight for two years I can't say anything and you'd starve but if you if you call me and say oh you have a fight in okay I have a fight I want you to fight in one month and I'm say oh I'm hurt then you have your right to say okay I extend your contract for six months oh okay so if you turn down a fight then they can extend the contract and it doesn't matter the reason for any reason so you could be sick and and there's nobody will be consulted for that if that's fair or not they make the decision so you so i could know that you were sick and i could offer you a fight knowing that you couldn't take it and that would extend the contract six months yeah so you decided to quit and you knew that when you quit you could lose everything you there was no guarantee that you could go there's not a bigger fighting league i decided to leave not to quit okay you decided to leave And when you left, did you have a plan?

[1011] No, really?

[1012] How do you feel about the UFC now?

[1013] I don't know.

[1014] I think they do business how it's good for them.

[1015] They do a good business for themselves.

[1016] I just wanted to do what's good for me too.

[1017] And you went on to do the impossible once again in your life because many people thought that maybe you were gone now.

[1018] You were gone from fighting.

[1019] but then after that it was announced that you'd be fighting Tyson Fury in a boxing match who is the world heavyweight champion of boxing and by many people's account you know I watched the fight as well I stayed up in the UK and watched it um you beat him you didn't beat him but I think in every sense of the word you beat him and for that fight you got paid I read many times more for that one fight than you got paid in your entire UFC career yes from one fight with Tyson Fury yeah and even in my you would have been a Tyson Fury fight or he would be a PFF fight I know that from that moment every fight that I will make I would be paid more than what I have been making in my entire career Why?

[1020] Because my last year, years in the U .S .A, I could have been making more if I have accepted contract.

[1021] So I basically left a lot of money on the table in order to get my freedom.

[1022] I bought my freedom, basically.

[1023] You know, they say that they say freedom is not given.

[1024] It's not given.

[1025] Freedom is not free.

[1026] You have to give something in order to get that.

[1027] So that's why at that point I made some less of a money because I refuse.

[1028] I turned down a lot of money.

[1029] But it worked out.

[1030] It worked in the end because you got paid more in that Fury fight than you ever got.

[1031] Lucky I. Yeah.

[1032] And then I read that for the fight with Anthony Joshua, you earned about 15 million pounds, which is almost 20 million dollars.

[1033] True?

[1034] I don't know.

[1035] I haven't count yet.

[1036] So I can say if it's true.

[1037] This is, I mean, but it's not true.

[1038] It's not true.

[1039] Yeah.

[1040] But you earned a lot of money, right?

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] Life -changing amounts of money?

[1043] What's life changing?

[1044] I don't know.

[1045] One thousand can't change life.

[1046] Depend of where we are standing from.

[1047] You're speaking from my side or from your side or from who side.

[1048] you give 10 million to somebody it's just another 10 million and he won't change anything in his life and you give 1 ,000 to somebody he changed his life he saved his life he would take that 1 ,000 maybe send his kid at school or maybe buy them some medicine, save them from illness or something so life changing money is not a amount Why are you still fighting then?

[1049] Because you don't need to fight.

[1050] Why I start fighting?

[1051] You have to find, in order to know why I'm still fighting, you have to know why I start fighting.

[1052] Why is that?

[1053] I love fighting.

[1054] You're not doing it for the money?

[1055] No. When I start fighting, there wasn't money.

[1056] I fought a lot of fight for free that I had no, not a penis.

[1057] And what is your goal?

[1058] now with fighting.

[1059] You've done it.

[1060] I mean, you've done it.

[1061] You did the UFC, you've done boxing.

[1062] As I say, there's always a challenge.

[1063] There's always like, could this be possible?

[1064] Can I done this?

[1065] Can I, you know, like, what's my limit?

[1066] How far can I go?

[1067] I think whatever we do in life is a shame if we end up not really find our full potential or not giving it all.

[1068] I think I'm going to give all everything that I have, then I go home.

[1069] But as long as I still feel like I have something for fighting, I have something to give to the fighting community, I go to the gym, I get excited, I wake up, I think of training, and I get excited like, oh, this is it.

[1070] I still have that motivation, that fire in me. I think I keep doing it.

[1071] You know, I go to the gym, I train, I think like, oh, I learn something, I have some improvement, you know, or there's something that I really want to understand how he works or how to master.

[1072] Yes, I think it works like that.

[1073] You have to remember that it's not just fighting.

[1074] It's a martial art. Fighting is a martial art. And martial art never ends.

[1075] Before MMA came around, you will see people, character, Kung Fu, Taekwondo, they were doing it for like six, until they are 60, 70, 80, they are still doing it because it's a passion.

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[1086] When you left Cameroon, you had a really clear goal.

[1087] You had this vision, a really, really clear goal.

[1088] What is that?

[1089] To stand on top of the mountain.

[1090] And you stood on top of the mountain.

[1091] But there's the biggest mountain.

[1092] As I said, there's always a biggest mountain.

[1093] There's always a mountain ahead that is big.

[1094] What is the big mountain in front of you now?

[1095] What's coming?

[1096] What is that?

[1097] Another fight.

[1098] Do you want to become the heavyweight champion of the world in boxing as well?

[1099] That's never been my goal.

[1100] My goal was really, because I was aware of the situation.

[1101] My last fight, my first fight in boxing was less than a year ago, October 23.

[1102] And I was, what, already 37.

[1103] It's not a moment.

[1104] that you're expecting to have a career into a combat sport like boxing, you know, he was just like, okay, what can I do?

[1105] And I think that question is still stand.

[1106] And even for MMA, I think there's a lot of things for me. I've been doing even MMA for just like, what, 11 years.

[1107] And I think I still have a lot of things to learn, to experiment, to show in the fight.

[1108] I think I still have a lot.

[1109] I still have that passion.

[1110] I'm not very young, but I still have a couple years in front of me to be doing it.

[1111] Because after this, you have to remember that after this, maybe by the time I'm 40, 42, then I'm retired for the early retirement.

[1112] We only have that short window of a time.

[1113] Then at 42, like, it's a time that most people, a career, just pick up but we are forced to retire by that time so why would i just like do what i can do until then and see how far i can go you fought tyson many people think he won the fight an incredible fight um you fought anti joshua you lost that fight um and i think at the end of that fight anthony actually says he says you should you need to carry on boxing you need to carry on going and i think that's the sentiment that everyone has no i'm i'm carrying on i don't really take that fight as a note because not to say I mean you cannot you will be a fool if you're going to fight basically in boxing somebody like Anthony Joshua and don't think that you can lose right or trying to make an excuse of losing if there's somebody that you can loss against in the combat sport then he's somebody like Anthony Joshua right but But honestly, on that fight, there was a lot of unfairness, you know, and then which might have been for something or not, but there was a lot of unfairness.

[1114] Unlike the Tyson fight, that everything was straight, and I think nobody was giving me a chance, and then everything was fair, no sneaky stuff.

[1115] but the second one he was so messy what you mean a lot of tricks like they will get you everywhere that I was going in that week I have to wait at least one hour one hour and half before the beginning or before Anthony Joshua arrived but they always send a car to pick me up like that amount of time even the five day the five day I stay in the locker room for four hour and a half, four hours and a half.

[1116] They sent a car to pick me up, pick up time, 10 .30.

[1117] Because you're supposed to fight.

[1118] They tell me up front, I'm supposed to fight around midnight and 1 p .m. So pick up time.

[1119] 1 a .m. Yes, and 1 a .m. Pick up time, 10 .30.

[1120] It's like, okay, good.

[1121] It's how he works.

[1122] is that amount of time.

[1123] Then you get in the arena, they're like, oh, yeah, there's a producer, like, oh, we are running behind clock on the broadcasting, so we might be fighting at 1 .45.

[1124] Okay, it's not that bad.

[1125] I've been training to fight in that time frame in around 1 p .m., 1 a .m. Bro, we are sitting there, and then watching Anthony Joshua arrive in the arena at 1 .30.

[1126] Like, how come you tell me that, with you guys, tell me that I'm going to fight around me night and 1 o 'clock?

[1127] Or that is delayed, I'm going to fight at 1 .45.

[1128] And then he's now just arrived.

[1129] When he arrived, we know that it's about two hours before there is a fight.

[1130] You don't get in the arena one hour before the fight.

[1131] No. It's two hours.

[1132] And stuff like that, they did a lot.

[1133] Again, not to say I couldn't lose the fight, but...

[1134] Do you think they were doing that intentionally?

[1135] Yeah.

[1136] You think that?

[1137] Yeah.

[1138] I said the whole week he was like that.

[1139] They were wasting your time.

[1140] I mean, I think it's a trick.

[1141] I didn't know before, but I think he said, he's a trick that they have in boxing.

[1142] They have a lot of tricks.

[1143] And in fact, like in the week, during the week my coach Dewey because he's a very calm person and he was like, he get to the point that he was really mad and was yelling about it like, no, this is how you get to get, you do to get fired tired.

[1144] And I'm like, no, it's okay.

[1145] I didn't know how deep was the problem, you know.

[1146] Until I get in the final set, then I'm like, okay, this is serious, but he was too late.

[1147] Were you tired?

[1148] Very tired.

[1149] By the time.

[1150] I was sleeping.

[1151] You were sleeping before?

[1152] Yeah.

[1153] I don't know why.

[1154] I don't know if it was just a fatigue or whatever.

[1155] I was in the locking room getting warm up and falling asleep and feeling asleep.

[1156] So that's why, like, personally, yeah, I take that loss, but I don't put it in the context.

[1157] You know, I think it could have been different.

[1158] Do you think you could have beat him?

[1159] I still think I could have beat him.

[1160] I could have lost too.

[1161] but not that easy.

[1162] Yeah, things were so easy.

[1163] I'm like, I wasn't, I don't know.

[1164] Yeah.

[1165] Did you feel like yourself?

[1166] No. No at all.

[1167] No at all.

[1168] But I think it was my mistake.

[1169] I wouldn't, I shouldn't have done good in the Fury fight.

[1170] I think that was what was expecting in the Fury fight.

[1171] for me to lose maybe in that fashion.

[1172] You have, you come out of the fight with Anthony Joshua and you go back to making plans for the future and then life shows how cruel and unfair it's capable of being when your 15 -month -old baby boy Kobe passes away just a few months ago.

[1173] I'm really sorry.

[1174] Thank you.

[1175] And it is the the most unimaginable the most unimaginable thing yeah that's something that I never I never imagined and all of the sudden nothing really matters all of the sudden you realize that you were complaining about a lot instead of being feeling blessed being grateful you were complaining about things that didn't work but in fact everything was working well How are you?

[1176] How am I?

[1177] Yeah.

[1178] A life, I mean surviving, but not the same.

[1179] I don't think you will ever be the same.

[1180] And I can explain how in just 15 months, I mean, I so ask myself how in just 15 months a kid or a person can take this much space and basically, became you to the point that when he's gone, you feel like you're missing too, just 15 months.

[1181] I mean, two years ago, he wasn't there, and I was living good.

[1182] He came and he left.

[1183] And I felt like, I don't know, he's a weird type of thing.

[1184] Basically, like, after what I was saying earlier, my whole life was about to do, to fight in order for my family not to go through those situations, not to feel powerless or useless in the situation.

[1185] And for the very only person that I should fight for, I didn't even have a chance.

[1186] so sometimes only that idea is painful you didn't have a chance yeah he wasn't sick we didn't have to take him to the hospital didn't have anything like that you know i wish i could have like you know take him to the hospital find for a good doctor like make calls and do stuff you know feel like I'm useful I'm playing I'm useful just as I always want to be so that was it is it possible to is it possible to have you been able to grieve and process it how do they grieve how do their processes I never learn I never know how he works you just feel it some days you do with it some day you do without it how do they deal with that kind of situation?

[1187] There's not a, how do they say, there's not a process that they set up to, to learn how to go through.

[1188] People would do, people will do it in different ways and how long it takes to grief.

[1189] When did he stop?

[1190] Whenever.

[1191] you know one of the big conversations in um i think that's become quite popular is the idea of mental health and our and protecting our mental health and being aware of our mental health when something like that happens to you it's the the most i mean i've never i don't have children yet so i don't i've not been through something like that but i can just imagine the the way that i try and imagine it is i have these wonderful nieces and nephews in my life my brother as a year older than me has three children and they're like my children in a way and just the thought of something happening to them is the most, it's the most unimaginable crushing feeling to me. And men in particular aren't very good at dealing with things compared to my partner, for example.

[1192] She's very expressive, very emotional, she expresses how she feels.

[1193] What do you like at expressing how you feel?

[1194] You don't learn how to express?

[1195] I think I found myself very emotional at some point.

[1196] More than what I thought.

[1197] you don't it's not something that you commend it you don't control just happen and then you you discover yourself and you're still in that process yeah you discover your own self you think you've been through a lot you think you're strong you was you thought you were strong you realized you were I don't how is your family your family your mother everybody else.

[1198] Surprising, I think a lot of people are doing pretty good, better, which is for me a surprise.

[1199] I always walk around like the toughest guy until now.

[1200] Until now?

[1201] Yeah.

[1202] And I get to, you know, just being tired, just getting tired, being tough.

[1203] I think it's exhausting.

[1204] Being tough means you have to be true over and over to a lot of shit.

[1205] Which just not easy to deal with.

[1206] Because people see you as a, you know, they see you as a tough guy.

[1207] That's your, they called you the predator, they, you know.

[1208] I don't know.

[1209] I've been questioning myself about that lately.

[1210] Yeah, that's why I like, you see people.

[1211] trying to know somebody, pretend to know somebody.

[1212] Meanwhile, they don't even know themselves.

[1213] Like you can know somebody who doesn't even know your own self.

[1214] You don't know who you are.

[1215] You don't know what you can do, what can affect you, how you can deal with things that never happened to you.

[1216] So you can't expect to know that about somebody.

[1217] what have you been questioning in yourself if I can deal with stuff if I can handle stuff been doubting about my capability of stuff sometimes what are you talking about in terms of dealing with stuff handling stuff emotional things yeah like yeah even emotionally Suddenly, you know, there's some days that you wake up and you think about stuff, about everything.

[1218] And you really like, what's the purpose, what's the goal, if it's going to end up like this?

[1219] What's the purpose of fighting if I will end up not being able to fight for the only person that I could fight for?

[1220] Let's talk about something else.

[1221] Yeah, I'm sorry.

[1222] what else you get move on to something I am you're in Vegas at the moment yes but I'm going home soon going back to Cameroon next week next week what's the plan I'm going to be there for a couple weeks I'm training now I want to really make a purpose have a purpose you know make a sense of all of this and I think I'm going back to fight.

[1223] So I've been training a little bit because I get to the point that I feel like I really need to push myself to get out there, start to think about something, find purpose, and that's what I'm doing.

[1224] Now training.

[1225] And I think I sure fight.

[1226] I need a fight.

[1227] So I might fight before the end of the year you know I think some MMA fight would be good to get back in the loop a little bit before going back to boxing again you're fighting in a new league under a new promotion yeah which is very exciting I saw the announcement yeah I suppose to be fighting no I'm not fighting in the PFL Africa I'm fighting in PFL global but yes we we along we launched the PFR Africa and they announced it the other day in Nigeria, in Lagos, Nigeria, with one of our new partners, Elios.

[1228] So, it's been good.

[1229] And you're, it's about purpose now.

[1230] It's about finding new purpose, you said.

[1231] Yeah.

[1232] Fighting a reason, fighting for a reason, you know, something to fight for.

[1233] I think it's what I, you know, it's what I, you make it a purpose to keep going or a reason to keep going or a reason to stop.

[1234] But other ways, either way, it can serve as a reason.

[1235] And your reason, your purpose, you're going to get out there and find him?

[1236] Yeah, I think my son was full of life.

[1237] I think if there's one thing that he wasn't, he wasn't inactive.

[1238] He was very active.

[1239] He was very curious about staff.

[1240] And I think the best way to honor him would definitely not be to quit or to live thing like that because of him.

[1241] I think if there is a way that he would like things to be done was to serve as a motivation or to be a reason for things to happen.

[1242] that's what you've always been francis it's what you've always been you've always been an inspiration he's now a inspiration i think he's now your inspiration yeah i had so much in this kid like he was just 15 years 15 months old but you know i have so many plans was doing this was preparing that was having a bad building the basketball court was getting ready for his looking for a soccer clit of his side so we can go play soccer when he started because he just started to work when he's solid we go play everything he became he became a a goal he wasn't like just a kid he was a goal like I was exciting waiting you know his day and it's time but yeah So fighting nights, the goal is to fight before the end of the year.

[1243] So I'm training, I'm keeping in shape, but I have to go back in Africa a little bit.

[1244] Is it easy to train at the moment?

[1245] Or is it day by day?

[1246] It's day by day, I think, as I said, like there, some day, like, I don't just really want to do anything.

[1247] I don't really care.

[1248] And those are the day that you, I mean, that's how, that's what you're, you, your heart tell you your heart don't really care about anything then your brain will tell you be reasonable and tell you that to go that's when you really have to at that moment that you feel like you don't want to do anything is exactly the moment that you have to do something to get off of there because like those emotions they are pretty good at shutting things around you, sometimes you get in the, just get, I don't know, in the bath, and then just get stuck in there and then memories and stuff just get you stuck in there and you're, it's so sad inside that you don't even know that you can push the door and get out.

[1249] So you have to do something, you have to keep.

[1250] And then when you push the door, get out, maybe work in the room or something, then it changed your mind and you're like, oh, this pick something down and then you help change your mind but if you stay in that bathroom those same memory will run over and over and over.

[1251] Have you spoken to a therapist at all?

[1252] Or anyone that can help?

[1253] Do they take help do what, take a pain away?

[1254] Or bring it back.

[1255] I think it's a process that you have to go through.

[1256] It's a pain that you just have to learn with It's like having a handicap.

[1257] You just have to learn to deal with.

[1258] There are people today that live pretty good without hand or food, or food at first or they get imputed and they have to rehab to deal with.

[1259] You've been an inspiration your whole life, your whole life to so many people.

[1260] You now say that Kobe is your inspiration and he's the reason why.

[1261] And your motivation.

[1262] And your motivation.

[1263] And he's the reason why you are striving.

[1264] He's the mountain.

[1265] He's pushing you up a new mountain in your career in this chapter of your career.

[1266] And I'm really, really looking forward to seeing this season of your career play out.

[1267] Yeah.

[1268] I hope I'll be able to do it.

[1269] I just have to get out there and find out.

[1270] Francis, we have a closing tradition on this podcast where the last guest, a question for the next guest.

[1271] So the last guest has left a question for you and they don't know who they're leaving the question for.

[1272] Okay.

[1273] And the question is here.

[1274] When did you last realize that you had it all wrong?

[1275] When my boy passed away, that was the moment that I realized that everything, I mean, everything that's been my reason for fighting.

[1276] fall apart that was the moment that I feel that I really feel like I feel like a failure you felt like a failure yeah I feel power I just feel like I could have done something Francis I have to say a huge thank you I have to say a big thank you and I'm not just saying thank you from me but ever since I heard your story that time in Paris when we're in that hotel, you put my life in perspective.

[1277] You gave me gratitude that I probably didn't have to the same extent before because you've been through an incredible journey.

[1278] And throughout that whole journey, you've got this perspective for life where you understand more than I ever did what's important.

[1279] Things like family, things like principles.

[1280] You've understood that more than I did.

[1281] And you also, having gone through that entire journey, I didn't hear you feeling pitiful, complaining about the struggles you'd been through.

[1282] And I reflect on the life that I've lived and the things that I'd dwelled on.

[1283] And I thought, oh my God, this guy has walked out of a really, really dire situation and built this the most incredible life.

[1284] He's climbed to the top of the mountain.

[1285] And it's funny because when you climb to the top of those mountains, you get there alone.

[1286] What you don't ever get to see is that you've actually brought millions of people there to because you've inspired them and you've shown them proven that they have no reason why they can't to if Francis could if Francis could go from Cameroon on that journey through the Sahara Desert he tried to climb the fence couldn't get over the fence then went through the sea on the boat from Spain to Paris from Paris to the USA to the top of the mountain to beating Tyson Fury there is absolutely nothing that I can't do Yeah, I think so.

[1287] I think there's a lot.

[1288] We set ourselves for, we set a lot of limit of ourself by just like, oh, it's not possible.

[1289] Which, again, we don't know what's possible or not.

[1290] But staying there thinking of what's possible or not, does it help, actions help.

[1291] And sometimes you try, you fail.

[1292] It's okay.

[1293] You stand back up, pick your shit, reset, start again.

[1294] And then once you make it, and then once you really make it.

[1295] And then I'm like, oh, he's good.

[1296] He's a genius.

[1297] Like, how did he know that this will work?

[1298] He didn't know anything.

[1299] Just keep trying, just refuse to give up.

[1300] It's just like that.

[1301] And it's something that, you know, because at some point, like, I feel like I need to succeed.

[1302] in order to prove everybody that was doubting at me to prove them wrong.

[1303] Because even, like, coming from where I came from, having the idea of boxing, bro, he was the worst thing that it was dream that you could have had.

[1304] Like, everybody, nobody believed in it, in the dream, not in me, but just in the dream, like, it's not possible.

[1305] We can't come from where we come, we are to get there.

[1306] It's not possible.

[1307] It's not mean for us.

[1308] find something that is around us and get settled, you know, like they really thought I was losing it.

[1309] Basically, like, when I let my little job in the village, like, say, go to the city, I was 22 years old and I saw my motorcycle like, okay, go to the store and buy gloves and stuff that I'm doing boxing.

[1310] I'm like, okay, this guy has got to the top level of craziness.

[1311] What the hell is this?

[1312] You know, and everybody doubt it.

[1313] I mean, even my mom say, like, you're my son, I always stand by your side, even when you're losing it, like now.

[1314] Like, okay, at least I know that, you know.

[1315] But one day he happened, I made it.

[1316] And I'm like, wow, he's his juniors.

[1317] How do you know that it's going to work?

[1318] don't know.

[1319] Just keep doing it, you know.

[1320] So whatever you have, you can't keep trying.

[1321] It might work, might not, but at least you will be in peace with yourself knowing that you have given it all.

[1322] I think it's the most important.

[1323] People are so afraid to fail that they don't even try.

[1324] And I think that's really, that's the failure from not taking action.

[1325] The failure is not And actually the fact that you don't succeed in whatever you do, the failure is not taking action, it's not even tried.

[1326] That's where you're really fair.

[1327] Francis, thank you.

[1328] Thank you so much.

[1329] Honestly, it's the most amazing honour.

[1330] And you're such an incredible person on and off camera.

[1331] You're such a wonderful human being.

[1332] But you're just the most tremendous inspiration.

[1333] I've interviewed three, 400 people, but I've never ever encountered a story.

[1334] You do that a lot.

[1335] Yeah.

[1336] As heroic as yours, so.

[1337] I'd rather find than interviewing people.

[1338] Thank you.