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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Hi, Karen.
[17] Hi.
[18] Hi.
[19] This is my favorite murder.
[20] This is a mini episode.
[21] A minisoda of your hometown murders where we scroll and scroll and scroll through our my favorite murdered Gmail account.
[22] We hustle up on your hometown murders and we read them back to you in our own voices.
[23] So many.
[24] We could do a fucking telephon of these.
[25] No brag, but we have so many emails.
[26] It's not, I don't think it's bragging this.
[27] There's so many people who are interesting that are emailing us.
[28] Yeah.
[29] And yet you, and yet here are.
[30] I am.
[31] And yet here we are bragging away about our emails.
[32] You know how like you're trying to impress someone so you're like, I have over 10 ,000 emails?
[33] Yeah.
[34] Well, that's us.
[35] Has anyone impressed by that?
[36] Yep.
[37] Really?
[38] Yeah, I think like people that run internet servers and...
[39] Oh my God.
[40] I'm getting like an altar just thinking about that.
[41] Yeah.
[42] It's like we have 10 ,000 book reports to do.
[43] It's how it feels to me. Good time.
[44] Do you want to go first?
[45] Sure.
[46] Okay.
[47] This is called Into the Woods A Murder Mystery.
[48] And this is by Robin.
[49] Hi, Robin.
[50] Big fan of the show.
[51] No matter how many times you guys joke about 12 year olds listening to your podcast, I am 13.
[52] I am absolutely in love with true crime and think you guys are so funny.
[53] Oh, no. Oh, no. Someone called the police.
[54] Please.
[55] Robin's been kidnapped and someone else is emailing this from her account.
[56] Robin.
[57] Robin.
[58] stop it go to the nearest adult and tell them robin put a chair under the doorknob and listen to this okay in 2012 in carterville illinois and then they said that was just a test hopefully you passed because they know how bad i am and stuff like that two people by the names of jake wheeler and jesse evans were camping in the woods uh oh they came across a neighbor danny k coston and they were found shot to death at their campsite in Little Wabash River.
[59] I bet you can't guess who did it.
[60] Yeah, it was Koston.
[61] So they come across the, I guess they come across the neighbor.
[62] Then they end up dead.
[63] Okay, then they would end up dead.
[64] So he's -watch the Fs.
[65] Watch the Fs.
[66] 13.
[67] No, she's old enough.
[68] You got it.
[69] That's fine.
[70] You got it.
[71] You got it.
[72] He is currently serving a 52 -year -old prison, 52 -year -old.
[73] 52 -year prison tensions and will probably.
[74] probably get out.
[75] Hopefully my parents will have moved to our, move from our incredibly small town by then, and I won't have to find out the hard way.
[76] I know this is not the most interesting murder, but I freaked out when I found out about it on an episode of Nightmare Next Door, the Investigation Discovery Show.
[77] I've watched that show.
[78] Fuck yeah.
[79] This episode is entitled Into the Woods.
[80] Anyway, hope you got to read this.
[81] And if you don't, if you didn't, this was a complete waste of time.
[82] And I could have read at least two articles on H .H. Holmes.
[83] He's one of my favorites.
[84] Oh, and by the way, I found Karen and you a picture of my, of an alligator and a raccoon writing on its back.
[85] Yes.
[86] Robin.
[87] Sorry for the typos.
[88] Some of the keys on my computer won't work because I'm using my school's laptop.
[89] I am in science.
[90] but our science teacher is kind of stupid so I won't get caught.
[91] Stay sexy and don't get murdered.
[92] Goodbye.
[93] Wait a second.
[94] That was a 13 year old writing us from science class.
[95] Why am I not as cool as this 13 year old writing us?
[96] You are a little asshole.
[97] You are fucking cooler than us.
[98] I couldn't figure out how to work anything when I was 13.
[99] Do you know I just only want 13 year olds to listen to this podcast?
[100] I think we can we can start really focusing toward the 13 year old demographic.
[101] We can shape the fucking future.
[102] do you know that no one will put us in a shitty fucking old person's home when we're old if like 13 year olds if they just band together and take care of us they like us that's right hey man chill out cool chill pills robin all the chill pills take no chill pills that's wrong yeah and then go crazy okay you go um that was great thanks robin that was rad and also chill and chill uh all right this is from Lauren, and the subject line is, my best friend's grandma was Ted Bundy's Sunday school teacher.
[103] Oh, that Ted Bundy got around.
[104] Yeah.
[105] My best friend's grandma was Ted Bundy's Sunday school teacher.
[106] Holy shit.
[107] And it starts, Hi, Girls, and Kitties.
[108] Yay.
[109] I recently found her podcast and binge listened to every episode this past week.
[110] It has really helped me pass the time while my husband is deployed.
[111] I'm listening all the way from Japan.
[112] Oh, my God.
[113] Thank you.
[114] What a rainbow.
[115] rainbow flavors we have on this episode beauty 13 year olds people that are deployed in japan everything we could possibly want love it my best friend from high school recently told me her grandma was ted bundy's sunday school teacher and she said he was such a cute and charming boy shut her in parentheses but that's not why i'm here oh she lured us in with that oh good my hometown murder is from spokane washington the killer is robert lee yates junior shortly after high school and dropping out of college, he worked as a prison guard and then joined the army.
[116] He was stationed in Germany and Somalia during his service.
[117] He was living in Spokane, Washington, when prostitutes, we like to call them sex workers, were showing up murdered and raped.
[118] The police had discovered a pattern and started following people that had picked up sex workers.
[119] He was pulled over in his white corvette.
[120] Oh my God, red fucking flag.
[121] Just after picking up a woman and he told the police her father requested him to pick her up and take her home.
[122] Uh -huh.
[123] So the cop just let him go.
[124] No. No. It worked.
[125] That worked.
[126] She was taken just out of sight and let go.
[127] Oh, so she was like, oh.
[128] He sold the Corvette to get rid of all the evidence because that's where the murders took place.
[129] Oh, gross.
[130] When the police finally narrowed in on him as a suspect, they tracked down the new owner of the Corvette, which was a local cop's sister.
[131] Oh, shit.
[132] Get fucked.
[133] Goodbye, Robert.
[134] DNA evidence led to his arrest, and he had 16 victims.
[135] They also suspect him of 26 unsolved...
[136] What?
[137] It says miseries.
[138] Probably it was...
[139] But it's probably murders.
[140] I'm gonna guess it's miseries.
[141] I bet it was miseries of sex workers in Germany.
[142] God damn.
[143] This was so scary to me growing up, because he was most active.
[144] between 96 and 98, so I was five to seven.
[145] What made it worse was he was a beloved neighbor father and had been my brother's Cub Scout leader.
[146] Oh my God.
[147] Oh shit.
[148] He was finally apprehended in 2000 and was sentenced to 408 years and then sentenced to death in another trial.
[149] And they got out in six years.
[150] He had this same attorney as Gary Ridgeway, the Green River Killer.
[151] That guy's got to not feel good about himself.
[152] He's not doing well.
[153] Thomas Kumero, who said Yates Oh, that was the attorney's name, who said Yates and Ridgeway are virtually the same person in terms of crimes and life history, and yet we're treated differently.
[154] I also have to say how much more I love you for mentioning my favorite childhood story, The Green Ribbon, where the girl's head falls off at the end.
[155] That was where at Halloween, we were talking about that.
[156] Yeah, scary stories to tell the dark.
[157] It's from the book in a dark, dark room.
[158] Photos below.
[159] I don't know why I love that so much as a child.
[160] My mother always thought I was a creep.
[161] And here you are now.
[162] Great work.
[163] Love the podcast.
[164] It's now my favorite.
[165] Thanks for bringing laughter to such a depressing topic.
[166] I have a cat, Lily.
[167] And every time she hears Elvis, she starts meowing.
[168] So I think she has a crush.
[169] Ha -ha.
[170] Love Lauren.
[171] Ooh.
[172] Do you remember this picture of the green ribbon?
[173] Oh, that's a really, even if I don't remember that specifically, but it's super creepy.
[174] In a dark realm.
[175] In a dark room.
[176] I don't know that one.
[177] In a dark room.
[178] Mine was off of a record that we all sat.
[179] around the list.
[180] Yeah.
[181] I think it was just like a fairy tale, dark tale.
[182] So creepy.
[183] Thanks, Robin.
[184] I'm going to do one more.
[185] I mean, Lauren.
[186] That was from Lauren.
[187] More.
[188] Robin was 13 year old.
[189] Robin was 13.
[190] Hi, Robin.
[191] He was taking over this podcast.
[192] We're giving it up.
[193] And thank you.
[194] Okay.
[195] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[196] Absolutely.
[197] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[198] Exactly.
[199] And if you're a small business owner, you might know shop.
[200] is great for online sales.
[201] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[202] That's right.
[203] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in -store, on social media, and beyond.
[204] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[205] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in -person.
[206] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[207] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[208] Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.
[209] Connect with customers in line and online.
[210] Do retail right with Shopify.
[211] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[212] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[213] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[214] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[215] Goodbye.
[216] Hey, this is exciting.
[217] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 21.
[218] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[219] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[220] Who killed Saz?
[221] And were they really after Charles?
[222] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[223] This season, murder hits close to home.
[224] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[225] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[226] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[227] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[228] Get ready for the story.
[229] Stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[230] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[231] Goodbye.
[232] This one's called From Arcade and Yorkshire, New York.
[233] This is by Lindsay.
[234] Okay.
[235] I just finished listening to your podcast.
[236] Love it.
[237] So this is what happened in my hometown.
[238] Da -da -da -da.
[239] Okay.
[240] Back in the early 90s, there was a man that was killed in his truck behind the AIMS store, Andy Gasper, with one fatal stab into the chest.
[241] Speculation was that the killer was his wife's boyfriend.
[242] Fast forward to when I became driving age, my insurance agent was Cheryl Gasper.
[243] Just a few years ago, the case was solved and Cheryl Gasper and her former boyfriend were charged with murder.
[244] Oh.
[245] And she confessed to coercing her boyfriend to kill her husband.
[246] I was so fucking shocked.
[247] My second story, okay, in the mid -90s.
[248] Quick, clean, exciting.
[249] Let's do it.
[250] My second story in the mid -90s, my parents divorced and my dad lived in an apartment above a divorced mom with her two kids.
[251] I stayed with my dad and his girlfriend, now wife, off and on, but my mom had primary custody.
[252] Been there, done that.
[253] Yeah, that's really not fun.
[254] My downstairs neighbor always seemed to order food every night.
[255] Little did we know it was actually an FBI agent, FBI agents changing shifts.
[256] She was, was being stalked.
[257] I think she means her stepmom.
[258] Yeah.
[259] He was being stalked by a well -known rapist whose name she doesn't know from prison and she was under protective custody.
[260] This man was in prison and had an accomplice that would follow her and give explicit details to the man in prison and he would write her letter saying how good she looked in that skirt and creepy shit like that.
[261] One evening after change in FBI shift and after her two children went to bed, the accomplice tried climbing in through the window and the FBI agent was there.
[262] pointed a gun on him and said, if you wake up those kids, I will shoot you.
[263] Oh, my God.
[264] We had zero knowledge of any of this.
[265] She's one of the kids.
[266] No, no, no. She was saying the divorce mother with the kids that live downstairs, remember?
[267] The FBI agent was in the apartment.
[268] I didn't follow any other.
[269] It's harder to follow when you're reading.
[270] It is.
[271] You're right.
[272] I'm just the listener.
[273] You're right.
[274] I'm the receiver.
[275] Thank you.
[276] We had zero knowledge of any of this until after it was over.
[277] Those are my stories.
[278] Love your podcast.
[279] Can't wait to listen to the rest of the them, Lindsay.
[280] Lindsay.
[281] I follow that now.
[282] That was crazy.
[283] Dude.
[284] And you're just upstairs, like, watching the love boat.
[285] You'd have no idea what's going on.
[286] I feel like you should tell, the neighbor should know.
[287] But then won't you be freaked out?
[288] Would you want to know if right now there was an FBI agent in the apartment beneath you?
[289] If I was a woman in an adjacent apartment to someone who was being stocked by rapists.
[290] Yeah, that's true.
[291] Yeah.
[292] You'd just be like, give me the chance.
[293] to once again move to a holiday.
[294] All right, here's my second one, second and final.
[295] This is from Ariel, and the subject line is 15 hits of LSD, and it's party time.
[296] Oh, my God.
[297] Hey, ladies.
[298] This is just going to go fine.
[299] My favorite hometown murder is what really got me interested in murder.
[300] I grew up in Westchester, Illinois, and when I was 13, my third grade teacher was murdered by her 18 -year -old son.
[301] We.
[302] Sorry, let me build you.
[303] out the sorrow for that um deborah tom porowski got a call on sunday from her son stephen who is 18 who was on a trip with his father and uncle in wisconsin he asked her to drive up because they were having car trouble or something she arrived in the evening brought him something to eat and they sat on the porch to chat all while his dad and uncle were dead inside the house that's a horror movie right there while he ate his fucking burger and fries you little shit face apparently violently murdering your family really works up an appetite he went into the house before her and shot her on the way in the door Stephen had taken 15 hits of LSD and proceeded to shoot both his uncle and his father his uncle did not die so naturally he grabbed a kitchen knife no no no no no and slit his throat after he shot his mother he covered all of bodies with drapes or sheets or something and get this oh god no no placed baby toys and dolls around them he was so fucked up he was so fucked up uh dash this is the creepiest part to me it's like he gulp tucked them in oh my god he also took all of the family photos off the walls and burned them in the bathtub he had time for that apparently he was caught after he drove home to Westchester got stuff from home, including the family dog, and took off.
[304] I think they found him in Kentucky or something.
[305] He is in jail forever.
[306] My parents never knew how fascinated I was in this case and its details because I was worried they would think I was a psycho for being interested.
[307] We hear you.
[308] I'm so glad I found my people.
[309] Hi.
[310] Give the kitty snuggles for me. Yay.
[311] Aloysius, my cat keeps me company while I watch creepy Netflix documentaries about murderers late at night.
[312] Oh, it's the best.
[313] His picture is below.
[314] if anything.
[315] If anything, Stephen will, Stephen will enjoy it.
[316] Hey, Stephen.
[317] Stay sexy, don't get murdered.
[318] Ariel.
[319] Wow.
[320] That was amazing Ariel.
[321] The thought of taking 15 hits of LSD.
[322] Oh, it's, you, you are, you're insane.
[323] Yes, you can't.
[324] Your brain is just all chemicals at that point.
[325] Nothing makes sense.
[326] You're not human at that point.
[327] That's terrible, terrible, horrible.
[328] Oh, my God.
[329] Nightmare.
[330] I mean, this is a funny thing.
[331] I keep thinking about this.
[332] Over and over, we tell these stories, and so many times these people are on drugs.
[333] And it's just like, it's people are on drugs, addicted to drugs.
[334] And it's like, I'm not paying lip drugs.
[335] Yeah, needing drugs, needing money for drugs.
[336] And you and I have both been there.
[337] It's so ugly and it's like, don't do, don't just don't go near it.
[338] You and I've been there or we've seen people closely who have been there.
[339] Yes.
[340] It's a one -way street.
[341] to living hell.
[342] You're not you anymore.
[343] It's terrible.
[344] And you're a horrible person.
[345] And then when it's over, you have to fucking live with yourself.
[346] And the shit you did.
[347] And you sober up and it's just awful.
[348] There's shit that I tell my therapist that I would never, like I'm so embarrassed of things from back then.
[349] I know.
[350] It's because you just, I mean, because, yeah, it's just a mistake.
[351] It's not you.
[352] And it's a lot of people make it.
[353] It's not who you, who you would think you are.
[354] Yeah.
[355] what was I going to say?
[356] Oh, and also I'm never having children because fuck.
[357] Oh, and also, um, uh, stay in school.
[358] Stay in school, stay off drugs.
[359] Be cool.
[360] Stay in school.
[361] Be cool.
[362] Write a fucking alligator.
[363] And if you're a fucking raccoon.
[364] If you're a raccoon, write an alligator.
[365] That's our best advice, I think.
[366] Yeah.
[367] Hang 10 on an alligator.
[368] And just be chill.
[369] Just be chilling.
[370] Just be chilling.
[371] fuck and stay sexy and don't get murdered bye bye Elvis want a cookie yeah one more Elvis cookie Elvis a cookie he's just staring there there he is bye