Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard XX
[0] I'm David Farrier, and New Zealand are accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick.
[1] Growing up in New Zealand, there were a few experiences I remember as a kid that felt just distinctly, incredibly American, and one of those was feasting at the new Pizza Hut that had just opened in town.
[2] Treat yourself to Pizza Hut's new all -you -can -eat dessert bar.
[3] Create your own delicious dessert from our mouth -watering selection.
[4] Help yourself as many times as you like for just 3 .95.
[5] When you die in.
[6] Gotta hit the hut, yeah, Pizza Hut tonight.
[7] Ah yes, Pizza Hut.
[8] Birth in Wichita, Kansas in 1958.
[9] That piece of Americana made it all the way to New Zealand and into my mouth.
[10] It was the height of luxury in the farrier household.
[11] A weekend treat.
[12] A slice of heaven.
[13] God, I still remember the phone number.
[14] Burned into my skull.
[15] Oh, 800, 83, 83, 83.
[16] Now here I am in America and pizza is all around me. It's one of the United States' favorite dishes, around 76 ,000 pizza joints bringing in $44 billion in revenue each year.
[17] On any random day in America, around 13 % of the population, aged two years and over, will eat some pizza.
[18] Was pizza invented in America?
[19] No. But pizza is in America's blood, and now America has become my home, I'd need to learn about pizza.
[20] So, spread out that dough, throw on some toppings, and shove it all in the oven, because this is the pizza episode.
[21] Flyless, flightless bird touchdown in America.
[22] I'm a flightless bird touchdown in America.
[23] Hey, Monica.
[24] Hi, David.
[25] Pizza.
[26] I love pizza so much.
[27] I like these food episodes, because I think we all have it in common, don't we?
[28] Sure.
[29] We all have to eat to stay alive.
[30] Or we'll die.
[31] Or we'll die.
[32] And some of us take more enjoyment out of food than others.
[33] And some don't.
[34] I think I'm at the lower end.
[35] It doesn't take much to make me happy.
[36] Yeah.
[37] And then Rob and I are on the other end of the scale.
[38] Yes.
[39] Way other end of the spectrum.
[40] Way at the other end.
[41] Yes.
[42] I remember when we were doing the live shows and driving around, I was driving around with Rob, and I'd always try and stop at McDonald's.
[43] Because I love McDonald's, and his disgust was you could feel it in the car.
[44] He would sneak away sometimes.
[45] Yeah, well, he needed to get what he wanted, and you needed to get what you wanted.
[46] And sometimes that's what you have to do.
[47] You have to sneak away.
[48] But it was like a crack addict.
[49] Maybe like getting gas, and he said you'd go to the bathroom, and then I'd see him walk out of McDonald's.
[50] I do love McDonald's, though.
[51] But it's hard when you go to other cities because you want to get the best of that city's food.
[52] So where does pizza sit for you?
[53] as far as foods.
[54] It's top three.
[55] So good.
[56] I love pizza.
[57] What is it about it?
[58] I like that the form of pizza makes it so easy to eat.
[59] It's a slice can go straight in the mouth.
[60] It's also so delicious.
[61] And there are so many different forms it comes in.
[62] And I think it's one of those weird magical creations.
[63] It's just more than the sum of its parts.
[64] It should not be that good.
[65] It's dough.
[66] It's sauce and cheese.
[67] That's it.
[68] That should be boring.
[69] But it's the best food.
[70] I mean, I bet if you did a poll in America, that pizza would be what most Americans would say is their favorite food.
[71] Yeah, you're talking like last meal, death row, your last meal you have most Americans slice of pizza.
[72] I'm going to say that.
[73] It was named the number one comfort food by a wide spot of Americans.
[74] See?
[75] Yeah, so it's American.
[76] Yeah.
[77] It's American.
[78] It is New Zealand, too, yeah?
[79] We have it in New Zealand.
[80] We have pizzas.
[81] It's one of my favorite things in the Ferry Household, these little frozen pizzas we'd buy from the supermarket.
[82] Put them in a microwave for three minutes.
[83] I burnt the roof of my mouth so many times on those microwave pizzas.
[84] Now, are you supposed to put them in the oven and you just decided to put them in the microwave?
[85] Uh -huh.
[86] Yeah.
[87] I was in a rush.
[88] I'll be hungry out to school, so I'd come back.
[89] I'd have Frisky the goat in tow with me because I had a pet goat and he'd go to school with me. No. So have I not told you about Friskey?
[90] No. Why do we keep learning the crazy?
[91] I love this part of this show.
[92] So my dad, my dad's an interesting man because he loves animals as much as I do.
[93] He was a veterinarian, so he would care for animals.
[94] I remember we'd have ducks in the bath and all these animals around.
[95] But he also loved hunting, killing them as well.
[96] The complicated man. Mixed messages.
[97] So for a while, my dad tried to get me to go hunting with him.
[98] So we had, I don't know much about guns, but I think it was a 38 and maybe a 22.
[99] And so we'd have these rifles in the gun cabinet.
[100] We'd take them out and go hunting.
[101] And it was time for me to spend time with my dad, you know, traipsing in the woods and stuff.
[102] So I'd be like, yeah, I get to spend time with my dad.
[103] But it comes out of cause.
[104] I have to murder animals, you know.
[105] Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
[106] So you've killed animals before.
[107] Yes.
[108] You, David Barrier, has killed animals.
[109] There are two photos that exist in the...
[110] Archives?
[111] Archive.
[112] You know those hunting magazines and you see people standing next to what they've killed?
[113] Yeah.
[114] And there's one with me kind of like drenched in blood with a dead goat.
[115] No. Frisky?
[116] No, not frisky.
[117] No, no, come back to frisky.
[118] Okay.
[119] And one where I'm holding up these two rabbits by the hind legs that I've shot and murdered.
[120] I feel like I'm in a fever dream right now.
[121] I don't think this is real.
[122] Thinking about it, it's weird.
[123] I forget that it ever happened.
[124] Did you drag those dead animals in tear tunnel?
[125] Was your tunnel full of dead animals?
[126] No, no, it wasn't.
[127] I would like to say that I didn't take to it.
[128] So I did it because I wanted to be manly and be like my dad.
[129] And my older brother, Rob, who would use a bow and arrow.
[130] He's so masculine, your older brother, Rob.
[131] Yeah, he was really masculine, and I was not that.
[132] But I tried, because I wanted my brother to like me, and I wanted my dad to love me. And so that's sort of, I got sucked into this world.
[133] At some point, I said, no. Okay.
[134] I don't like this.
[135] I like the walking.
[136] in the forest?
[137] I like to any time with you, but I don't want to kill anything.
[138] Yeah, I think that's fair.
[139] I would like to say, on behalf of my dad and my brother, we would eat them.
[140] So we weren't just out there sort of slaughtering things.
[141] They'd bring them back, skin them.
[142] We had meat in the freezer for the year.
[143] They weren't savages.
[144] It wasn't for sport.
[145] I do think that's better, actually.
[146] It is better.
[147] Yeah, they weren't just, I'd just like to say that before people turn on my dad.
[148] But at one point I said, I don't want to do this anymore.
[149] And so I stopped.
[150] And there was a period where I would go out with them still when they were hunting, but I wouldn't try and kill anything.
[151] I just go out.
[152] Anyway, one day, my dad shot a goat, boom, goat, drops dead, went up there, and then we hear this little, no, I hate this even, wow.
[153] And there's this tiny little kid there, which is what you call a baby goat.
[154] Also what you call a human.
[155] It is.
[156] It wasn't a child, okay?
[157] It wasn't a small child.
[158] It was a kid.
[159] It was a baby goat.
[160] And I said, Dad, don't, but you can't kill it.
[161] Like, we have to...
[162] Did you start crying?
[163] Jumped in front of it.
[164] Pretty, that's how I imagine it.
[165] It definitely didn't happen like that.
[166] Yeah, and I said did you start crying, which I think is maybe more what happened.
[167] And I probably did.
[168] Yeah, because that's sad.
[169] And, you know, my dad's, it's the same.
[170] My dad's, you know, he's not a monster.
[171] So he's like, yeah, like, we'll take the goat home.
[172] Oh, okay.
[173] And so bizarre.
[174] Pop the goat in my backpack, the little head was sticking out, took it home.
[175] And Frisky was the most loyal pet I've ever had in my life He'd come into town with me In Fungare, he'd walk to Manu Primary We'd tie him outside the school gate So I'd go in there I'd come and see him at morning tea break And play with him And then I'd walk home with him Morning Tea Break We had a morning tea lunch and afternoon tea It's called Morning Tea All these kids just drinking cups of tea Wait a minute, hold on How are you dealing with this?
[176] First of all I think Frisky may have had Stockholm syndrome because you quote rescued Frisky but also you killed Frisky's mom He murdered his mother I like to think that I mean Frisky love me and I love Frisky it was such a close relationship This potentially times that Frisky had flashbacks to his mother dying and then sort of me approaching sort of shoving him in my backpack but look Frisky had a great life and we were so close Why are we talking about this?
[177] Because of the pizza Why the pizzas?
[178] After school With Frisky for a microwave pizza Back on topic Did Frisky ever eat any microwave pizzas?
[179] Absolutely.
[180] He'd have a bite of everything.
[181] Goats eat everything Oh wow So we had to really keep Frisky In our little paddock.
[182] What a life.
[183] I wish if I could go back in time And watch you live As a 10 year old I've had phases.
[184] Yeah.
[185] Because I had the hardcore Christian phase I had like the frisky phase, the hunting phase, sort of a basketball phase for a while.
[186] Wow.
[187] Tunnel phase.
[188] Tunnel?
[189] Yeah.
[190] But I wasn't in the tunnel with dead animals for the record.
[191] There was separate phases.
[192] Tunnel phase and hunting phase.
[193] Okay.
[194] Wow.
[195] I'm so happy we stumbled upon that.
[196] That was magic.
[197] That was gold.
[198] Thank you.
[199] We probably ate Friskees mom because we killed.
[200] We probably would have.
[201] No. Did Frisky eat?
[202] We would.
[203] Did Frisky eat them?
[204] No. You fed the mom to the sun?
[205] Absolutely.
[206] No. I'm not a sicko.
[207] Sometimes I wonder.
[208] So, we all ate pizza and the three of us, we went on an adventure, didn't we?
[209] And I had my dictaphone with me. This is what happened as we journeyed into the world of pizza.
[210] I'm going to be honest.
[211] Making a weekly episode about America terrifies me. Off I go each week, diving into a new topic, blindly feeling my way around in the dark to bring you my take on the United States.
[212] It's a mission full of peril.
[213] More peril than Tom Cruise has ever faced in any Mission Impossible movie, because I've increasingly come to realize that the United States isn't one place, it's a load of places all thrown in together.
[214] So why if I go to investigate in some small corner of the US, making my sweeping generalizations and Kiwi observations, and in doing so offend approximately 98 % to the population?
[215] And here I am looking at pizza.
[216] This episode is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.
[217] There's so many different types And already I can feel Chicago coming for me Because in this episode I don't go to Chicago And I don't eat any deep dish pizza None of it Not because I hate deep dish pizza or Chicago But because good God I make one of these episodes a week And America's really big I'm from New Zealand Tiny New Zealand So cut me some slack and join me As I go and eat some pizza Not all the pizza in all the places But some pizza In some of the places What's the first pizza you went, what's if, what's...
[218] Good God, sometimes I can't even get a question out.
[219] Fumbling with my microphone and recorder and winsock, I'm with Rob and Monica.
[220] Rob got us tickets for some fancy pants pizza party in Los Angeles called Chain.
[221] Have you had pizza before?
[222] First time.
[223] Never heard of it.
[224] Explain it.
[225] No, of course I love pizza.
[226] It's my favorite food.
[227] It's my island food.
[228] if I could have one food on a deserted island.
[229] We're in West Hollywood, which is where a lot of the actory types in L .A. seem to live.
[230] We drove past Quentin Tarantino's theatre to get here.
[231] Where is here?
[232] What is here?
[233] I have the same questions.
[234] Spike to punch?
[235] Oh, yes, please.
[236] Hello.
[237] Well, Rob knew I liked Pizza Hut, and so he's taken me and a moniker to this house that's had its innids transformed into an 80s restaurant chain.
[238] Inside, it's 80s and 90s memorabilia from places like Pizza Hut and McDonald's.
[239] There's a big purple grimace staring at me right now in the corner.
[240] Tonight, a chef is reimagining the Pizza Hut Pizza Experience with his own Hollywood flavors.
[241] This night's about as allay as it gets.
[242] I thought I was walking into a house, but it's like I'm in the inside of a beautiful restaurant or some kind.
[243] We've had people stand outside for like 10 minutes kind of looking around and the security guard has to be like, you're in the right place.
[244] Tonight, it's Pizza Hut night.
[245] They even have an old stained.
[246] glass Pizza Hut lamp hanging in the corner.
[247] You'll see in the backyard there's some Pizza Hut touches.
[248] The lamp is a new addition.
[249] That's Nicholas Kraft Talking.
[250] Big Pizza Hut fan.
[251] King for fast food collectibles.
[252] Most of these collectibles actually belong to my father.
[253] He was a huge collector.
[254] What's your favorite type of pizza, Rob?
[255] Mine's pepperoni.
[256] One of my favorite things about Rob is he has a cheeky story for any occasion.
[257] Tonight, some family trauma related to Pizza Hut.
[258] So when we were kids, we went with my family, and my brother unscrewed the red pepper at the table.
[259] That would be funny.
[260] That would be a prank.
[261] And I would do it occasionally, but he had done it this time.
[262] And my dad went to put on his pizza, and it spilled all over it.
[263] Classic.
[264] He got mad and walked home.
[265] Blame me for it.
[266] Rob, get over it.
[267] Move on.
[268] Now, Rob sees himself as the food.
[269] of the group and starts prattling on about different types of American pizza, riffing on the Chicago stuff that I'm yet to taste.
[270] Detroit does like a similar deep pan style, but it's cheese on top, but a little saucier, I think, and a little thicker crust.
[271] It's not really pizza, is it?
[272] It's like too much filling.
[273] It's like sloppy.
[274] Yeah.
[275] Still pizza, it's still pizza.
[276] It's like a sloppy mess though, isn't it?
[277] You eat it with a knife and a fork, right?
[278] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[279] It's pizza.
[280] Tonight's pizza is Pizza Hut, but upgraded.
[281] The three of us are slumped into a corner as our pizza arrives.
[282] Pepperoni, red pepper and mushroom.
[283] And then, what this is, onion, green pepper.
[284] Is that pineapple and sausage?
[285] I think we can all agree that pineapple is the best part of any pizza.
[286] Pizza Hut, New Zealand, had a big thing, which they probably did here as well, where they really got into doing stuffed crust pizzas.
[287] I wondered if that was going to be here.
[288] That was my favorite part about Pizza Hut, was the Stuff Crust Pizza.
[289] I did a Pizza Hut commercial.
[290] I don't know if anyone would remember that, but I did a Pizza Hut commercial, and it was for, they had a crust with stuffed crust, but they were bites.
[291] Does anyone remember that?
[292] We don't.
[293] But suddenly I spot the chef tonight, Tim Hollingsworth.
[294] So Pizza Hut, for me, there's like this nostalgic memory of when I was five years old.
[295] I was in Texas and Houston at a Pizza Hut.
[296] There was a flash flood, so I was hanging out there for probably like five hours.
[297] So that nostalgic memory of that buttery crust and thinking about that taste as a kid, that's probably my first food memory is Pizza Hut.
[298] What does it take to make a good pizza in your mind?
[299] I mean, I think pizza is one of those things where there's a lot of different types of pizza, but it's going to start with really, really good bread.
[300] And for me, this pizza is that a nostalgic, buttery, squishy crust with that caramelized outside.
[301] I'm healthy.
[302] Yes, exactly.
[303] Before he goes to make more pizzas, Tim drops a bombshell.
[304] Are you familiar with ranch and pizza?
[305] Not at all.
[306] Educate me, please.
[307] Are you serious?
[308] No, I'm serious.
[309] Okay, so this is a very controversial thing.
[310] There's people that absolutely are like die -hard, do not put ranch on your pizza.
[311] I am not that person.
[312] I am a die -hard, put ranch on every single bite of your pizza.
[313] I slop some ranch onto my pizza, probably too much ranch.
[314] love their condiments.
[315] In case and point, Rob.
[316] Typically, there's three blends of shakers that you're putting on.
[317] You got parmesan cheese, oregano, and then crushed reds, which will make it spicy.
[318] We're getting full, and the pizza sweats are coming on.
[319] Monica's having a bad pizza trip, dough deep in her belly, as she ruminates on pizza nights of yore.
[320] So maybe, God, I'm scared to say, in high school, it was Friday night.
[321] I really wanted to wanted pizza.
[322] I demanded for my parents that we have pizza that night.
[323] And they decided to get, I don't know, healthy or something.
[324] I don't know.
[325] They said no. And no, Monica, you can't have pizza.
[326] No, we're not ordering pizza tonight.
[327] Yes, we are.
[328] I want that.
[329] I need it.
[330] It's Friday.
[331] What else?
[332] Why?
[333] I could understand because they wouldn't tell me why.
[334] They just kept saying no, and I threw the biggest tantrum.
[335] I can remember that it was so outsized and outrageous.
[336] I was screaming.
[337] You just wanted pizza?
[338] So bad.
[339] I think I was malnourished.
[340] Mommy daddy, pizza now.
[341] I was too old to call them mommy and daddy.
[342] Mother, father, buy me some fucking pizza.
[343] Did it work?
[344] No. Tonight is the opposite.
[345] too much pizza.
[346] And while it's delicious, it's also completely ridiculous.
[347] We're here in LA in someone's house that's been converted to look like a pizza hut, eating schmoozy upmarket pizza that's riffing on what Pizza Hut does.
[348] Why are we not just eating Pizza Hut?
[349] Have I sold out?
[350] Is this what LA does to you?
[351] There are influences all around me, snapping photographs.
[352] They're all beautiful and photo ready.
[353] The walls are closing in.
[354] There's a caricature artist who's been here staring at us, drawing and he just delivered the final results.
[355] Rob looks nice.
[356] Monica looks beautiful.
[357] I look fucking deranged.
[358] It's time to get the heck out of here.
[359] So yeah, those are my memories of the night.
[360] It was a really fun night, Rob.
[361] Thanks for the ticket.
[362] Yeah, thank you, Rob.
[363] That was a really fun outing for us.
[364] It was good.
[365] But look, I was thinking out to it.
[366] It was a great time, but it was crazy.
[367] It's riffing on Pizza Hut.
[368] I imagine tickets weren't cheap to get in there.
[369] It wasn't like a $4 slice.
[370] It was like a really beautiful night.
[371] So I ordered an old school pizza hut This is my favorite Now I got this maybe three hours ago now So it's going to be a little bit cool That's okay And I have eaten two pieces Okay great great But it is fresh Wow And this is my favorite It's not stuffed crust But it's Hawaiian It's my favorite pizza And it's just very simple It's got the sauce And the white X goes on pizza cheese And pineapple It'll be a little bit cold That's fine You're a no on it You have to Rob You have to I don't do a pineapple pizza You're doing it today Just have one bite Just the tip Just put the tip in your mouth Don't tell me to put the tip of my mouth Okay We're all gonna take bites together I've never had this either This is a fairy special It's pretty cold It's just the basic key flavors I don't mind cold pizza though That's also a thing You know people eat cold pizza I think Next day pizza Is the best kind Getting that pizza out of the fridge Not eating it Not heating it Keep it cold It does something interesting to the cheese Which I really like But I thought we had this fancy pants Pizza Hut pizza I thought we've got to Just have some regular old pizza hut Because I think a lot of people think pizza hat shut down.
[372] I think we thought it shut down.
[373] I thought it did.
[374] Yeah.
[375] In New Zealand there was a big deal because when the final pizza hat restaurant shut, but they keep the takeouts open.
[376] So you can still get pizza hut.
[377] Okay.
[378] And I would argue it's still good.
[379] Listen, I think it's similar to what we had.
[380] I mean, we didn't have this kind, you know.
[381] But that's why it was good.
[382] It was just like doughy and salty.
[383] He like intentionally tries to take flavors from this but you put what was the meat wagoo or something yeah you put some fancy steak on it yeah exactly and i think that's the difference i think because for you rob that would be i sometimes feel like i miss out on the meaning of it all you would have taken more appreciation whereas i feel like i'm so simple i have like a slice of regular old pizza hut and i sort of get the same level of joy this is a medium crust this is medium okay this is medium yeah when we had a chain was a pan pizza and so pan pizzas are thick.
[384] That was thick bread.
[385] Huge thick bread, but that is the bread at Pizza Hut.
[386] My favorite chain is by far dominoes.
[387] Mine's Papa John's.
[388] Oh, I do have a lot of good Papa John's memories.
[389] I'll still click in if I'm watching like a football game.
[390] If I'm watching sports, I will crave Papa John's and just order it and eat like a slice and the rest of it way.
[391] We used to have in college, Papa John's had college night or whatever.
[392] It was Thursday night and you could get a large pizza for like $1.
[393] Not really, but basically.
[394] Yeah, I do like those specials you get with pizza are crazy sometimes.
[395] Little Caesars, there was a little Caesars that was down the street for me growing up.
[396] So you'd have the $5 pizza and the crazy bread.
[397] I've had that with you, Rob.
[398] Yeah, we've got that with me last year.
[399] We've got that before.
[400] You got it here?
[401] Yeah.
[402] I think it was like going to Utah or something.
[403] We've Yeah, crazy.
[404] It was good.
[405] Boy's trip.
[406] Let me interrupt, always off cruising around America.
[407] You are.
[408] The thing that I think we've talked about this on the show before, we have a chain in New Zealand called Hal Pizza.
[409] And here we've got Lucifer's, which I haven't been to yet, but this has reminded me that I should.
[410] It's so good.
[411] It's so, so good.
[412] But we were wondering if they were connected somehow, because the whole thing is the guy on the machine is Australian, and Jack always does that thing.
[413] They're all connected.
[414] And, yeah, always controversial marketing plans.
[415] I said in New Zealand, there was a lot of controversy when a hell pizza opened up in the town of Bethlehem.
[416] Oh.
[417] That was a big deal because I thought the Satanists had come and Hal was just like, we're just pizza.
[418] Stay tuned for more flightless bird.
[419] We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.
[420] Flightless bird is sponsored by BetterHelp.
[421] Now, Monica, I don't know if you're like me, but do you ever wake up in the early hours of the morning and just have a brain full of thoughts?
[422] Or is that just me?
[423] Oh my God, yes.
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[426] Imagine.
[427] Imagine that.
[428] I just like sitting in my own misery and just spinning out endlessly, but apparently talking to people can be really good.
[429] It can.
[430] And someone brought up something recently to me about therapy.
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[472] For the next part of the documentary, I hit away from Los Angeles, terrified of upmarket pizza of Los Angeles, and get into some, arguably some better pizza, but we can discuss that same.
[473] Did anyone?
[474] Well, yeah, we did.
[475] Miffie Wan -A.
[476] Somebody's going to have to barf it all up.
[477] I've seen enough movies to know that America is where you go to get pizza.
[478] And often, I'm thinking teenage mutant ninja turtles.
[479] John Travolter and Saturday Night Fever.
[480] It's New York pizza all the way.
[481] So I've come to New York to learn more about pizza.
[482] And right now I'm sitting on the sidewalk in Greenpoint with Kyle Driscoll.
[483] I'm a pizza maker here at Polly G's Pizzeria in Brooklyn.
[484] I'd randomly just wandered into Polly G's about two minutes ago because it smelled really good.
[485] I told him the spiel.
[486] New Zealander, stranded in America, started a podcast, and he's into it.
[487] I associate New York with pizza.
[488] As far as America goes, is New York the place where you should come for good pizza, or are the other states or cities that do it as good or better, or I probably shouldn't say better because I'm in New York?
[489] No, we definitely do it the best.
[490] It's New York.
[491] There's a huge culture around it, right?
[492] I mean, you see a pizza slice shop on every single corner, whether it's dollar slice or a more premium product like ours.
[493] So I think the culture is really what's driven it here.
[494] Can you get great pizza elsewhere?
[495] Absolutely.
[496] I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico, originally.
[497] We have an awesome pizza place there.
[498] I've had good pizza in a lot of different places.
[499] And then the styles are different, right?
[500] Chicago style, Detroit style.
[501] So it really depends.
[502] But, I mean, for a classic slice and a thin slice crust, there's no better place in New York City.
[503] What is this pizza joint best known for?
[504] We're best known for our Hellboy slice, which is a slice of pepperoni drizzled with Mike's hot honey, which is a chili -infused honey.
[505] It's not too spicy, but very good.
[506] We're the first ones to do it.
[507] I have a hellboy sliced right in front of me. I'm salivating.
[508] Genuinely, 2 p .m. with a mouthful of saliva slopping around.
[509] Optimal time to eat a slice of your pizza?
[510] Anytime.
[511] Yeah, I mean, I had one for breakfast this morning and, you know, I worked last night and I had one before I left me as well.
[512] So, no, anytime.
[513] The whole beauty of pizza is it's grab and go.
[514] Something quick, delicious.
[515] Right now in front of me, I have a plain cheese slice and that Hellboy slice, which is square -shaped.
[516] What the Hellboy squared is, is a Sicilian -style slice, so it's a thicker rectangle, it's actually a square slice.
[517] We've got sesame seeds on the bottom, and then it's an upside -down slice, almost like a gram -a -slice.
[518] So it's cheese, sauce, and then we put the pepperoni on top, and then once it comes out of the oven, it's drizzled with Mike's hot honey.
[519] With so many pizza places in America, and so many here in New York, Kyle tells me that it helps for each pizzeria to set itself about.
[520] part somehow.
[521] Every pizzerie is a little bit different.
[522] I think what makes ours different is, one, the water content, if you're going to get geeky and get into the dough stuff, but the water content obviously makes it different.
[523] One of the easiest things to compare it to is think about whiskey.
[524] Bourbon has to be made in America, but it doesn't have to come from Kentucky, but most of it does come from Kentucky, and the reason being is the water table there and the water content.
[525] So when you think about things like pizza and bagels here in the New York and the tri -state area, the water content is extremely important.
[526] Now, percentage of water in the, in the water, in the The dough is just going to depend on what type of dough it's going to be, whether it's going to be something more like our square slice, which has a little bit more water content and some oil, or the classic New York -style slice, which has a little bit less water content.
[527] And there's another subtle difference in the pizza I'm eating right now.
[528] And if Kyle hadn't told me, I wouldn't have noticed.
[529] This pizza stuff is complicated.
[530] Basically, it's a Sicilian -style slice, but we use sesame seeds underneath on the crust, which is something pretty unique.
[531] I feel like it's a little bit heavier while it's a nice, fluffy, light dough.
[532] What's the importance of dough versus toppings?
[533] Like, how does that work?
[534] Oh, I think they're both just as important.
[535] You can kind of cover up not as good dough by using better ingredients, but the two need to be married together in order to make the perfect slice.
[536] I've seen a lot of people sort of folding their triangular pizza and then shoving it in their mouth.
[537] Is that something you're meant to do?
[538] I think so.
[539] It's just an easier way to eat it.
[540] And you should have some flop at the end, too.
[541] When you fold it in half, you should flop a little bit at the end.
[542] Look, the way you burn the roof of your mouth is putting the hot cheese right on your mouth.
[543] So you fold it in half, you semi -examine.
[544] I avoid that and you just burn the sides of your mouth, right?
[545] I've done that many, many times.
[546] I'm incredibly greedy.
[547] What mistakes do people make when they're making pizza?
[548] If I'm making them at a friend's place, sometimes you can go overboard on the toppings, right?
[549] And the whole thing just becomes like a soggy mess.
[550] Yeah, that's a big one, definitely too much.
[551] The other thing is if the oven's not hot enough, you're never going to really get a crust on the bottom.
[552] I feel like I could quiz them all day about Sicilian pizza, but it was time to get back to work, as in go somewhere else and eat more pizza.
[553] But one final, important question.
[554] Thoughts on pineapple on pizza?
[555] We debate this all the time in the slice shop.
[556] I personally think it's pretty good.
[557] I mean, that's the correct answer.
[558] Look, it's personal preference.
[559] We have a lot of great vegan slices.
[560] I don't eat vegan.
[561] So to me, it's personal preference, but as far as traditional toppings go, it's probably not considered one.
[562] I think it's fair to say that Pauli G's slice shop was a mid -priced pizza option, between $4 and $5 a slice.
[563] It wasn't the influence of pizza I'd had in L .A., But it also wasn't the greasy dollar slice.
[564] I needed a greasy dollar slice.
[565] So I head to Joe's, which has a few locations now in Brooklyn and Manhattan.
[566] Joe's is well known here.
[567] On the wall, there's a treasure trove of celebrity photos who've dined in.
[568] I spot Danny DeVito, Kevin Bacon, Pee Wee Herman.
[569] My name's Tony, Cozantino.
[570] Joe's pizza was started by Josephino.
[571] Yeah, he just passed away this year, but he was the founder and the owner of Joe's.
[572] and started in 1975 in this store, which is in Greenwich Village.
[573] It's on Bleeker Street, and they just moved down the street here to this location.
[574] It's on the same block.
[575] Joe's is now run by Joseph's grandkids.
[576] It's all the goodwill of Josephino, man. He was one of the best pizza guys ever in New York.
[577] We all learned from the traditions that he created, and we kept it real for all these years.
[578] So we haven't really diverted much from the original plans at all.
[579] I can remember coming in as a kid when I was like 12 years old.
[580] then it's the same exact thing now.
[581] What defines Joe's?
[582] So what defines Joe's is the quality.
[583] Perfect thin slice with the perfect crust, excellent sauce to cheese ratio.
[584] It's amazing.
[585] You can see how the sauce bleats through just slightly and, you know, a fresh mozzarella pie.
[586] We use all the best and fresh ingredients.
[587] We make all our dough fresh in the morning.
[588] We even season our vegetables.
[589] We cook our spinach in the morning.
[590] We do.
[591] Yeah.
[592] The flavor is amazing.
[593] The flavor's impeccable.
[594] I'm full from the two bits of pizza I've already had today but I get the cheese slice there's always room for cheese the guy next to me Brandon has two slices on his paper plate he's a regular here do you mind just telling me what you've got in front of you here a normal cheese slice with a Sicilian slice yeah that's pretty much what I get almost every day over here best of both worlds right?
[595] Pretty much yeah it fills you up for the rest of the day for pizza too is like, I really don't judge on it.
[596] Even pizza, that's like a dollar is even good.
[597] But it's been getting priceier lately over here.
[598] I've noticed this.
[599] Yeah, it's like $1 .50, something like that now, for those?
[600] Everything's going up in New York, right?
[601] That's pretty much what's going down, yeah.
[602] The more people come in, the more everything gets costly.
[603] How long have you been in New York for?
[604] Oh, since I was born, 26 years.
[605] You ever leave?
[606] Probably not.
[607] Usually when you're here, you usually get stuck here.
[608] But not me. I'm not stuck here.
[609] As I leave to go out the door, Tony Chipson, reminding me that, yes, New York is all about pizza, but it's also about the people that eat it.
[610] New York is neighborhoods.
[611] The neighborhoods have such a rich history to it.
[612] It's such diversity in New York.
[613] And I think we get a lot of electricity from that, a lot of energy from that.
[614] It's so amazing.
[615] And everyone loves it.
[616] You're proud when you're born and raised in New York, man. There's no better city in the world.
[617] Okay.
[618] So I've had my $5 slice at Pauli G's, and my three -sense.
[619] $75 slice from Joe's.
[620] My final New York pizza destination sees me at a more upmarket pizza spot.
[621] My name is Mike Fatim.
[622] I have two pizza shops in Brooklyn, New York.
[623] Two seems greedy.
[624] Why have you got two?
[625] Well, it's a big city, and I think what we do is a little unique in a pizza world, so I thought it'd be cool to do one wood -fired pizzeria in a really inconvenient place, really tiny and one deck oven like New York style pizza in a very populated very convenient location.
[626] Right now I'm at the ladder at Mike's place Ops in Brooklyn.
[627] They have a fancy natural wine selection here and it feels more restaurant than pizzeria.
[628] Someone completely ignorant to pizza like what does set your pizza apart from the other pizza in the city?
[629] Well yeah so it's sourdough and it's like a pretty long fermentation that it never sees refrigeration.
[630] Ops prides itself in knowing where all its ingredients come from, from places like Utah and Pennsylvania, New Jersey and upstate New York.
[631] The pizza from the flour up is all organic.
[632] They're texting the farmers directly each week.
[633] It's all very farm to table, a term American foodies love using.
[634] Because of the fermentation we do, it's super digestible.
[635] I had a guy in here last night, he was like, I've just had like over a whole pizza myself and I don't feel full.
[636] I think another interesting thing about New York and why pizza is, a big deal here is I think New Yorkers are like really particular about prices of food.
[637] Everything's available all day, every day, and it's like available in every corner.
[638] You can get anything.
[639] So I think with food, New Yorkers are like really aware of the prices.
[640] And I think that's just part of like the New York savviness.
[641] Everybody's like got their thing.
[642] They've like figured out where to get the best bodega sandwich or where to get the best slice of pizza, you know.
[643] I guess it's time to eat more pizza.
[644] Mike has a suggestion.
[645] his favorite here.
[646] I would always go with the cicero, which is this onion pizza that's surprising and really satisfying.
[647] He says I can come back into the kitchen while he makes it.
[648] So I follow him there where he grabs a ball of dough that's been fermenting away.
[649] And so now what I need to do is make it the size of the pizza.
[650] So I have to stretch it, we kind of do it carefully because we want to like maintain all that, all that nice air and strength we built all day.
[651] Doe stretched.
[652] It's topping time.
[653] So this is the Cicero.
[654] This is kind of like, I don't know, I think this is like the most unique pizza we do.
[655] Sun -dried tomatoes that are like marinated in this like kind of like vinegar, olive oil.
[656] Wild oregano from Sicily.
[657] Strength.
[658] So we came up with this four or five years ago and it's just like a blend of lots of spring onions and scalyons.
[659] All the stuff that's like fresh this time of year as opposed to cured onions that are stored.
[660] He does some other magic.
[661] Throw some other stuff on, stretches the dough out a bit more, then it's in the oven.
[662] The dough stretch so thin, it cooks pretty fast in a giant pizza oven.
[663] How long does it stay in here for?
[664] About two minutes, a little over two minutes.
[665] So quick.
[666] Yeah.
[667] It took a little longer than most Neapolitan pizzas get cooked.
[668] Because in Naples, people eat with their fork and knife, and in New York people eat with their hands.
[669] Two minutes is up.
[670] The pizza is out.
[671] We add a little finishing touches.
[672] It's kind of another specialty.
[673] of ours is how we finish things.
[674] I did a little bit of lemon, a little bit of black pepper, and it'll be a little bit of olive oil, like fresh oil, just to like kind of like give a little pop.
[675] How quickly should you eat it after it's come out of the oven?
[676] Pretty fast.
[677] This style of pizza, it deteriorates really quickly.
[678] I grabbed my pizza and shoved a slice into my mouth before it even had a chance to deteriorate.
[679] I wasn't here to muck around.
[680] This is fantastic.
[681] There's onions.
[682] I used onions because I was like so intense, but this is just very subtle and it tastes delicious.
[683] Look, I'm no Anthony Bourdain, and to be clear, every pizza I've tasted today I've described as delicious.
[684] It's a pizza's world here in New York, and I'm just living in it.
[685] I've loved all the pizza I've had today.
[686] My belly's full, and I'm happy.
[687] So when I take the subway and accidentally go in the completely wrong direction, I don't get angry.
[688] I just sit in the knowledge that I've had the best day a boy could ask for and as I go to sleep that night belly full of dough and drench in pizza sweats I think back to something Kyle at Pauli G's had told me about how he picks the best pizza in town it's sage advice we can all use support local go try every new spot you don't know if it's good don't listen to the reviews go try it yourself if you don't like it don't go back shop with your dollars shop with your dollars I ate a lot of pizza I'm really jealous It was a really good day, just traipsing around.
[689] I had no idea that water content was such an important part of the dough.
[690] You got to have a bit of flop at the end.
[691] I learned that.
[692] I didn't know that you folded the pizza.
[693] I thought you folded it so it didn't all sort of slop off under the ground, but it's also to avoid burning your mouth, which I wish someone had told me years ago because I've burnt my mouth so many times.
[694] Well, are pizza sweats a thing in New Zealand?
[695] That's not a thing here.
[696] No one says pizza sweats.
[697] You say meat sweats?
[698] Pizza sweats.
[699] Pizza sweats.
[700] They're a cousin.
[701] the meat sweat.
[702] Is that a New Zealand thing or a David thing?
[703] It's a David thing.
[704] But it's like too much of anything and you're sweating it out.
[705] I feel like when I had too many Philly cheesecake sandwiches, it was like the Philly Cheesesteak Sweat.
[706] That's like, that would be meat sweats for sure.
[707] Yeah.
[708] Horrible.
[709] You know when you wake up and you're just drenched at such a shock?
[710] Do you ever have it just drenched in sweat?
[711] Such a shock.
[712] You're like, what the I'm just, oh, I'm just being here sweating for hours and I'm just, my body's woken me up because it's so disgusting.
[713] That's what it was like.
[714] We could literally do a year.
[715] on pizza so there's just absolutely no way we can touch it all but even just with the new york there are fancier ones the right yummy ops was the fanciest i did that was like a sit down that they really made it sure it was like organic and fancy pants that's how much was that 20 -ish dollars that kind of thing you know you get your orange wine and all that kind of thing it was perfect for me so i love that i also i didn't include in the dock but i had one of those cheesy slices just from the little stands that you get when you had so many of those.
[716] You did.
[717] It felt like there was like no way.
[718] That's the thing of pizza.
[719] You can't go wrong.
[720] Right.
[721] I kind of feel that way too.
[722] I don't think I've ever had a absolutely disgusting piece of pizza.
[723] Yeah, so I can't do this.
[724] Because I normally go plain cheese.
[725] That's my go -to.
[726] So it's really hard to seriously fuck up.
[727] But if it's good, it's another level.
[728] It's cosmic.
[729] You had New Haven style pizza?
[730] What is that like?
[731] It's like New York, but they cook it at a higher temperature.
[732] So is it crispier?
[733] New Haven usually is a slightly charred crust.
[734] It's so good.
[735] I like it better than New York pizza.
[736] What's the difference?
[737] So many types of pizza.
[738] Well, and then in Naples, I mean, Naples, the mother of pizza.
[739] What a place.
[740] I've never been.
[741] I really want to go for the pizza.
[742] So New Haven style of pizza is made using a coal -fired oven.
[743] And the dough ferments longer than New York style.
[744] So it makes it With a crisper crust and tastier Is it thin?
[745] It's thin, yeah Okay I had another experience When I was in Times Square Because I thought you have to go to Times Square In New York And I went to somewhere I'd always wanted to go Which was the M &M store Oh my God, David You are such a kid I was full of pizza You're a kid, ding, ding, ding, ding Frisky Oh, Frisky I wish Frisky was still here He died Old Age I went to the MNM store.
[746] They've got the big tubes of M &Ms, and you can get a bag, and you can get as many as you want of any M &Ms.
[747] I know.
[748] And I pulled on the little handle to let the M &Ms out.
[749] I'm very strong, and I pulled a bit too hard, and it just erupted with M &M's.
[750] And I was panicking.
[751] I shut it off, but a lot of them went in a little trench and sort of went down.
[752] They must recycle them.
[753] They sort of go in a little trench.
[754] Ew, I hope not.
[755] That's disgusting.
[756] And the staff member yelled at me and got me in trouble, and I went bright red.
[757] I felt like I was eight again.
[758] Yeah.
[759] And I was like, it's not my fault if I'm too strong.
[760] They shouldn't come out that fast.
[761] I don't think they're used to adults using the handles.
[762] It just made me feel, you know, when you get told off by someone in a store and you feel like a child again, that's how I felt.
[763] Yeah, well, you probably felt like they were abusing their power or something.
[764] I just felt sad.
[765] They were good I had so many different flavors I wonder If me and you had gone together On this pizza trip It would have been so different I think Do you think Would you want to go to Times Square To see all the lights If you went with anyone No Because some people are more I think in a positive way They're more chill I am very strict on vacations If you said I want to go to the M &M store I'd say no Like my parents said no to me with the pizza.
[766] Do you know what it is?
[767] Have you been?
[768] Everyone's seen, yeah, everyone knows.
[769] You can get every kind of Eminem in the one place.
[770] Why don't you just go to the grocery store and buy the Eminem?
[771] There's so many more flavors.
[772] What kind?
[773] What's your favorite?
[774] I got one that was like a peanut butter.
[775] They have that.
[776] Do they?
[777] They have peanut butter Eminems.
[778] That's red.
[779] Everyone, oh.
[780] There were so many flavors.
[781] Listen, have you been to Roberta's?
[782] No. Roberta's is now here, but I think was in New York.
[783] It just I've moved here.
[784] It's very good pizza.
[785] Okay.
[786] They have one called the bee sting or something.
[787] Sounds scary.
[788] It has a hot honey on it.
[789] It is really good.
[790] You'd like it, Rob.
[791] I don't know about you, David.
[792] Also, speaking of bee stings, have you noticed how as an adult you never get stung by a bee?
[793] When you're a kid, you're always getting stung by bees as an adult.
[794] I've never gotten stung by a bee.
[795] In your life?
[796] Oh, wow.
[797] I always am afraid I'm like, the.
[798] kid and what's that movie?
[799] Macaulay Culpin.
[800] Oh yeah, my girl.
[801] My girl, though.
[802] I don't know I'm allergic.
[803] Yeah, it's all over.
[804] Yeah, it's so weird.
[805] The bee sting.
[806] The last time I got stung, I was in college.
[807] That's kind of old.
[808] That's sort of an adult.
[809] What was happening?
[810] Just running around and bare feet?
[811] What happened?
[812] We were tailgating and I got stung.
[813] Oh, actually, my best friend, Callie got stung last year at a tailgate as an adult.
[814] The bees know where to go.
[815] It's Like when everyone's drunk and free.
[816] I had a friend that got stung when we were camping.
[817] He had a beer and it went into his beer and he drank and it stung on a leg.
[818] Wow.
[819] So apparently it happens a lot.
[820] I had a friend that got stung on like not the eyeball, but the eyelid.
[821] And it just went crazy.
[822] They're also all dying.
[823] So maybe that's all that's happening is that the bees are all dead.
[824] Which is awful because they're the ones that keep the planet running.
[825] Yeah, they sure do.
[826] So we decided that this pizza hut was.
[827] The Hawaiian was okay?
[828] The Hawaiian was definitely okay.
[829] Oh, we already got Rob's topping.
[830] That's...
[831] Pepperoni.
[832] Pepperoni.
[833] I'm normally cheese.
[834] Straight cheese.
[835] Or sometimes I'll go onion, mushroom, pepper.
[836] Oh, pepper.
[837] With tri -tip steak.
[838] And I'm the old...
[839] Oh, sausage.
[840] Yeah, actually sausage.
[841] The old ham and pineapple.
[842] And you're a ham and pineapple.
[843] Yeah.
[844] We're all different.
[845] It says something about it.
[846] Humanity.
[847] We're all what different things we like.
[848] And yet, We can all come together and agree that the pizza is good.
[849] Do you think pineapple and ham was invented in New Zealand?
[850] I could kind of see that, actually.
[851] I wish it was.
[852] I'd like to take credit.
[853] It wasn't.
[854] It is a popular topping in New Zealand.
[855] I think it's Hawaiian.
[856] It's called the Hawaiian.
[857] Yeah, I imagine it was invented in Hawaii, but we have a lot of it in New Zealand.
[858] Maybe because we're also a small island.
[859] I don't know.
[860] It was created in Canada.
[861] Yeah.
[862] By a Greek immigrant called Sam Panopoulos.
[863] That adds up.
[864] no way a Hawaiian made it and then called it a Hawaiian pizza.
[865] That's so obviously.
[866] It's so true.
[867] God, the origins of things you never know, do you?
[868] You never know.
[869] Well, this was delicious and pizza.
[870] I bet everyone who listened is ordering pizza tonight.
[871] I hope they are.
[872] And, you know, whatever pizza you're into, that's okay.
[873] If people tease you for liking one sort of pizza, I'm just trying to take a lesson from this.
[874] If someone teases you for going to the Eminem store, they should be teasing you because you're an adult.
[875] And if you do, don't want to shoot animals, but you don't want to bond with your father, just say, Dad, I'm sick of killing.
[876] Let the animal live.
[877] And on that note, bye.
[878] Bye.