Awkwafina

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dax Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by Monica Lily Padman.

[3] Hi, guess what?

[4] Tell me. When I did my miniature food show, Tiny Kitchen Cookoff, one of the producers was like, oh, you just made this noise.

[5] You just did this thing that Dax does too.

[6] Oh.

[7] And I was like, oh, my God, what is it?

[8] But she was, like, kind of trying to explain it, but I didn't know what she was talking about.

[9] But our sounds are starting to meld.

[10] Can you recreate the sound?

[11] No, because I didn't know what she was.

[12] She was talking.

[13] I just must have done it innately, and I don't know.

[14] Maybe he was a fart.

[15] No, it was with my mouth.

[16] Oh, maybe a burp.

[17] Okay.

[18] I don't know what it was, but we're melding.

[19] You know what I want to say, too?

[20] If you have kids, you should be using hallow be.

[21] It's the very best.

[22] You should be.

[23] Literally, it's the best diaper in the world.

[24] It is.

[25] It's the healthiest.

[26] It's the best value out there.

[27] And the wipes are incredible.

[28] If you have a little baby, you should be wrapping that little baby's hiny up in some Hellobello diapers.

[29] The wipes are really, really superior.

[30] They're top -notch.

[31] They're really top -notch.

[32] As are the nighttime gummies for the kids, they're incredible.

[33] Also, though, real quick, I don't have kids.

[34] Yeah.

[35] But you can still use the wipes on your butt if you're adults.

[36] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[37] If you just have a buttholella wipes, you should use Hello Bella wipes.

[38] Right.

[39] Someone who doesn't need Hello Bella wipes is Aquafina.

[40] She has a rare condition or she's perfectly clean at all times.

[41] Did you know this about her?

[42] Oh, wow.

[43] It didn't come up in the air.

[44] interview, but this is what I found out in my research.

[45] Oh.

[46] And is it because she doesn't bathe?

[47] In your head, it's probably because she doesn't bathe, so she's really clean.

[48] It's because she makes no waste, which is so crazy.

[49] So she's AI.

[50] Yep.

[51] Okay.

[52] Are you surprised?

[53] No. I'm not either because she's a Golden Globe Award -winning actress, comedian, rapper.

[54] That doesn't really happen.

[55] No. You got to be AI.

[56] You got to be AI.

[57] She was in, of course, the farewell, Crazy Rich Asians, Oceans 8, Jumanji, the next level.

[58] In her own show, Nora from Queens, but she's here today to talk about Marvel's Shang -Chi and The Legend of the Ten Rings.

[59] It's a Marvel movie.

[60] It looks so good.

[61] I'm so happy for her.

[62] Please enjoy Aquafina.

[63] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and add free right now.

[64] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[65] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[66] Where are you?

[67] Are you in Brooklyn?

[68] No. Why are you laughing?

[69] Why aren't you in Brooklyn?

[70] It's such a specific place.

[71] No, I'm not in Brooklyn.

[72] I feel like I would be maybe, but I'm in London right now, actually.

[73] How long are you there?

[74] I'm here for about another week.

[75] Are you working on a top secret project?

[76] No, I'm not.

[77] I'm actually just kind of...

[78] Chilling?

[79] Yeah, my first time in the UK.

[80] Do you have a lover there?

[81] No. Yeah, you do.

[82] Why would you be in London?

[83] I need more information.

[84] He's going to keep poking until you tell us.

[85] Yeah, this doesn't smell right.

[86] There's something fishy.

[87] No, I have a lot of friends that are filming here.

[88] I just got off like a massive year of production.

[89] So I just kind of wanted to just take some time.

[90] Where did you shoot?

[91] Is it Shang Chai?

[92] Am I saying that right?

[93] It gives me a lot of anxiety.

[94] It's exactly right.

[95] Did you shoot Shang Chai in London?

[96] Shang Chi.

[97] Shang Chi.

[98] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[99] Shang Chi I thought you were Shang Chi Well hold on though In my defense It's S -H -A -N -G Right That tells me Ang but it's not It's Shang I think a lot of people Say Shang But in the movie It's Shang If I wanted to sue someone over this Who would it be Marvel Or like Are you personally You personally Are you in charge of this pronunciation Please yes I would love that Yeah That'd be great Where did we should We shot it at Australia.

[100] In my defense, I don't know how to say any of the white English words either.

[101] I mean, I just have a general garbling of all words.

[102] The other day, he forgot my name.

[103] Well, that's not act.

[104] That's not entirely.

[105] That's not the full story.

[106] Well, that's a succinct version.

[107] Aquafina, do you ever get this where you're like about to introduce seven people who you know inside now really, really well?

[108] But just the act of doing it gives you so much anxiety.

[109] You're going to forget their names.

[110] Okay.

[111] Well, it's, it's a measure of your entire friendship in one announcement.

[112] It's also the moment of like when you think that you killed it in introducing them and then two days later they'd be like, why would you do that to me?

[113] And then it's like, wow, I really messed up.

[114] Yeah.

[115] Yeah, struck out across the board.

[116] It's hard to introduce people.

[117] It's hard to just be alive, right?

[118] Even when shit you got it made, it's still you're going to have all these little hurdles all day.

[119] So Monica, there isn't a name I couldn't know better.

[120] In fact, it's a problem in the reverse, which is like, I say her name so often.

[121] I'll call my kids Monica sometimes.

[122] Sure.

[123] You follow me. And that's a big no good.

[124] And then when I was introducing her to somebody, I was like, I'm going to forget Monica's name as I say this.

[125] And I just was really scared.

[126] But you did it.

[127] I did it.

[128] Yeah.

[129] Don't work.

[130] Well, I don't know if you killed it.

[131] But I thank you for assuming I killed it.

[132] Yeah.

[133] I love your voice.

[134] Can we start there?

[135] Sure.

[136] Yeah.

[137] Let's talk about it a little bit.

[138] Okay.

[139] How long has it been raspy and interesting like this?

[140] Childhood?

[141] Yeah.

[142] My voice was so raspy.

[143] Well, when I was a kid, that people would call my house and they wouldn't know if I was like an old woman or an old man or like, is it a cartoon or something?

[144] Did I call Pixar?

[145] Right.

[146] It's the woman that's yelling at Mike Wozowski in Monsters Inc. So it's always been like that.

[147] And then I guess like it's just something that I've been really like cognizant about and actually a little insecure.

[148] because...

[149] Are you?

[150] I mean, sure.

[151] So one thing you can't change.

[152] Like, I can make it deeper, probably, like, over years, but I can't make it higher, and I can't take away the rasp.

[153] You could maybe make it higher, but then now you're living as a character, right?

[154] You could probably talk like this.

[155] I. No, I still rely on this kind of, like, vocal shelf.

[156] Yeah.

[157] Like, now is just breath.

[158] This is a weird question, but do you think maybe...

[159] It makes you hornier?

[160] No. I'm so sorry.

[161] I'm sorry.

[162] I thought maybe that's what you're going.

[163] It's 9 a .m. and he's...

[164] We don't do this this early.

[165] This is not going to go well.

[166] So it's going off the rails.

[167] Okay.

[168] No, but you know the lady who had the big scheme?

[169] She was like Steve Jobs.

[170] Oh.

[171] Oh, Elizabeth Holmes.

[172] Exactly.

[173] Oh, great job with the name.

[174] Very good.

[175] Thank you.

[176] You should never have anxiety about introducing people because you have a great recall.

[177] I know, you know someone's name that you probably saw in a documentary three years ago.

[178] Yeah.

[179] Wow.

[180] I do remember her, yes.

[181] But, you know, she, like, purposefully, she affected her voice and spoke into, like, a low voice to be taken more seriously.

[182] And I thought that was really interesting.

[183] Like, yeah, I wonder if people do take women more seriously when they have a lower tenor.

[184] Do you find that people are taking you super seriously all the time?

[185] I don't think they take me seriously.

[186] I think it catches them by surprise.

[187] I remember the documentary talked about that.

[188] I think it causes people to, like, be, like, surprised because I think they often assume that when you see me, five foot two coming at you, you maybe assume that my voice will sound higher.

[189] And I do know that, like, when I was younger, like, in my 20s, I would drive, and sometimes I'd drive with my grandma, and we'd get into minor road rage incidents.

[190] I'm just yelling at people.

[191] And I remember very clearly that I would roll down the window and, like, yell at some guy or something and just his face.

[192] was just like, what?

[193] Cognitive dissonance.

[194] Like your face didn't match.

[195] Yeah.

[196] And his face, too.

[197] It's like it wasn't even processing like the situation at hand.

[198] It was just the way that I was coming at him.

[199] That's disarming in a good way.

[200] Like I could see where you roll up and you're yelling at me. And at first I'm like, who's this fucking asshole?

[201] And then are you experiencing something new?

[202] And I'm like, this is kind of novel and fun.

[203] I'm going to remember this exchange.

[204] And it might even turn it all around for me. I don't know.

[205] Well, that's what you'd hope for, right?

[206] That's the best case scenario.

[207] Did you ever monetize it as a kid?

[208] And I don't actually mean for money, but did you call for friends and act like their parents to get them, like, out of school or justify them being tardy?

[209] Because I used to call every morning, my senior year.

[210] And this is exactly what I do.

[211] Morning, it's Dave Shepard.

[212] I'm just calling, you know, Dax is going to be running about five minutes late.

[213] I apologize.

[214] And they go, no problem, Mr. Shepard.

[215] And I did that every morning.

[216] I just called as my dad to my high school.

[217] I was late every fucking morning and senior year.

[218] I just was, I couldn't do it anymore.

[219] So like this is obviously after you hit puberty, right?

[220] So like you had a deeper voice.

[221] Yeah, I had hair everywhere and I was tall.

[222] But we're talking about voices though.

[223] Yeah, the voice sounded very much like my dad.

[224] I could do my dad perfectly.

[225] By the way, discovered this on accident because I lived with him for a couple of years.

[226] And when I'd answer the phone, people would launch into it.

[227] Oh, fuck yeah.

[228] Glad I caught you, Dave.

[229] I just got off the road.

[230] And they would just be privy to my dad's, like, inside stuff because I sounded so much like them.

[231] Well, I thought about this before.

[232] Sometimes when, like, siblings, there's, like, a vocal quality that's very similar, right?

[233] And the Bee Gees, right?

[234] That were, like, magically harmonizing.

[235] I think that maybe you do inherit the vocal chords.

[236] Yeah, yeah.

[237] It makes sense.

[238] You're getting everything else.

[239] I already like you.

[240] I'm going to just...

[241] Wait, but you didn't get to answer the question.

[242] Well, she did, kind of.

[243] She didn't do that.

[244] Oh, no, I didn't.

[245] I think because that's also confidence, too, right?

[246] Like, that's scary if they're like, tell me something only an adult would know and you don't know that info.

[247] Oh, God, what would that be?

[248] Let's think about what that would be.

[249] It's like, what is a Roth IRA?

[250] Yeah.

[251] Yeah.

[252] You just give them 50 numbers and, yeah.

[253] Are you a big rule follower?

[254] Not if I knew that everyone else was doing it and getting away with.

[255] it.

[256] If you're protected by the herd.

[257] Yeah, like, I was never one of those, like, creative non -rule followers that were like, I don't care.

[258] Because getting caught, I would imagine, is really embarrassing, right?

[259] Yeah.

[260] And that's the reason why, like, I didn't really go too far with, like, the whole shoplifting craze and other kind of daredevil -esque.

[261] Teen tropes of bravery and defiance and insulin.

[262] I mean, I wasn't a good kid either, but I was scared of for getting caught.

[263] Yeah.

[264] I think you already landed Monica right in the belly of what this interview will ultimately be about, which is tons of mixed messages.

[265] So my stereotype for a kid that is training in classical and jazz trumpet, that's a very specific kid in my high school.

[266] Like that gets serious.

[267] They were dedicated.

[268] They weren't out fucking about.

[269] They weren't getting kicked out of class.

[270] The trumpet player never got kicked out of class in my high school.

[271] So does that stereotype hold at all for you?

[272] were a trumpet player?

[273] Like, were you pretty dedicated and serious to that?

[274] My whole thing with the trumpet was honestly, like, I was in band in junior high school, and they were like, does anyone want to join?

[275] And they were like 50 kids on the drums.

[276] And they'd have to rotate.

[277] Everyone wanted the drums.

[278] And I didn't really like the woodwinds.

[279] I felt like it was a lot of air.

[280] And I really like the trumpet.

[281] Can we at the count of three, you and I, Monaco will count us down.

[282] We'll say what we think the second most popular choice was, because I hit my mind, yes.

[283] So.

[284] Okay.

[285] Okay.

[286] Everyone ran towards drums.

[287] It was too full.

[288] And then they all went to, and then you counted down.

[289] Three, two, one.

[290] Saxophone.

[291] Face guitar.

[292] Oh, that was an option.

[293] Electric bass was an option.

[294] Guys, this is banned.

[295] It's not the band.

[296] It's banned.

[297] What's up with the electronics?

[298] See, that wasn't an option.

[299] And it shouldn't have been an option at your school either.

[300] Electric bass?

[301] I love the way the saxophone sounds.

[302] Well, it's a sexual instrument.

[303] It's very sexual, it's a very sexual industry, but there's a lot of buttons, and it's actually more similar to the flute than you'd think in its buttoning.

[304] So I like that the trumpet, it just had three buttons.

[305] I was able to play the cornet.

[306] I was able to play the baritone.

[307] Tubah?

[308] You could probably honk around on a tuba.

[309] Oddly, tuba and French horn are on a completely different scale.

[310] Oh, even though they have the three buttons, who cares?

[311] Yeah, yeah.

[312] They're more bassy.

[313] Uh -huh.

[314] Which seems like it would have been a beautiful match for your own speaking voice, but no. Maybe you were running from that.

[315] You wanted something a little higher.

[316] Oh, man. Yeah, I don't know if tuba in this voice would have been the hottest mix.

[317] But if you were coming at me with the marching tuba, I'm bracing for impact.

[318] Like you said when I come at you at 5 -2, but now we had a tuba and you're like a whole thing.

[319] You're an industry if you do that.

[320] I'm just imagine.

[321] Wait, I'm imagining me, like, coming in hot with the tuba and just overtaking.

[322] And then there would be people that were above 80 yards away that would be like, oh my God, this tuba's floating.

[323] Everybody, there's a tuba floating.

[324] The tuba's making its way across the football field.

[325] It's on strings.

[326] And it's just me talking.

[327] It's just not even a tuba in my hand.

[328] Yeah.

[329] I love this imagery.

[330] Thank you.

[331] Yeah, it's really fun.

[332] I love me in your imagination.

[333] I think we should pitch a cartoon.

[334] you as the character.

[335] It's just no lines, just tuba.

[336] I don't know that we see her face.

[337] It's just the tuba, the bell of the tuba is so huge.

[338] It'll be like high maintenance where she carries the story really through the tuba walking.

[339] Yes.

[340] Oh, wow.

[341] Only to experience.

[342] Very abstract.

[343] Through the eyes of it.

[344] Clear off your shelf space.

[345] You got some Emmys coming your way.

[346] Oh, let's go.

[347] Yeah.

[348] Was there a trumpet player that you thought was radical?

[349] Obviously, you have Miles Davis as an option.

[350] loved Miles.

[351] I loved Chet Baker.

[352] Yeah.

[353] Wenton Marseille.

[354] And I was able to like see him at Lincoln Center.

[355] I thought that was really awesome.

[356] I went to an arts high school where I was probably the best trumpet player in my junior high school.

[357] I was probably the least good trumpet player when I got to high school.

[358] So I get the thing that you were saying earlier about like the kid.

[359] It's just like I went to an arts high school.

[360] So it was like we were all that kid.

[361] And then there were more differences, obviously.

[362] That seems great about New York.

[363] so many people that were in some kind of feeder school for some specific art discipline.

[364] I don't know.

[365] It seems like they've got to figure it out there a little bit.

[366] Yeah.

[367] Can I tell you the two best things I read about you today?

[368] Oh, geez.

[369] Yeah, sure.

[370] Let's be honest.

[371] It was last night.

[372] I mean, I'm so excited to announce this.

[373] One of her favorites and influences is Bukowski.

[374] I couldn't be more and more obsessed with him, especially in my youth.

[375] He's more problematic now in this lens, obviously.

[376] But I still hold on to everything that I felt a connection to while reading him.

[377] And then also loved Anas Ninn, or mostly I loved Henry in June a ton.

[378] Yeah.

[379] Yeah, I did love that too.

[380] I even love the movie.

[381] Yeah, who's in the movie?

[382] The guy that plays Adam Sandler's dad in another movie.

[383] I forget his name.

[384] Yeah.

[385] But I, like, really felt like I hadn't read anything until I read Bukowski and Anas Ninn.

[386] I discovered Anas Ninn because I was hanging out with my friends who lived in dytown and we went to one of their apartment buildings and there was a stack of books outside like someone was throwing them away and they were all Anas Nin books.

[387] I just opened the first one of like little birds I think it was called open the first page and I just read this like really descriptive scene I think of just a woman just lying there and I thought it was like so beautiful why would they throw them away?

[388] Yeah.

[389] And I realized it because there had been like a really horrific stain and I realized it's like after like it was like they were wet and they dried.

[390] I Bukowski, yeah, I mean, in my youth, I feel like it was really important for me to discover his writing voice.

[391] Yeah, it feels so authentic, right?

[392] Like the most authentic I've ever read.

[393] And just like unabashed and like I even said this before, he's so fully aware of the fucked up in this of his situation and he does nothing about it, right?

[394] But he's so aware of it.

[395] As a kid, it was like very intense reading Bukowski.

[396] I think he can get dismissed in the headlines of like, yeah, he fucking.

[397] hit his wife.

[398] I mean, there's terrible shit he did.

[399] He hit women.

[400] All kinds of stuff.

[401] Masagony recognized.

[402] The thing for me that I think I clung to is, A, having shame about all these kind of primal desires I had.

[403] I was an alcoholic.

[404] I was obsessed with shit.

[405] All these things that I was like, oh, I'm a dirty, vile creature.

[406] This person just spoke without seeming without any shame about it.

[407] And even if I wasn't like heading towards him, I found the confidence to just own who you are in your situation.

[408] I don't know, encouraging in some way.

[409] Yeah.

[410] I've always kind of been more into people that are very visibly tortured, I think.

[411] Yeah.

[412] And I've never had to look up where Bukowski came from.

[413] I really just learned about him through his own writings.

[414] And like the way that he describes like these like kind of like transient places, these hotels, the bars, the brothels, the women.

[415] It's like you really also get a sense of the time and place he was in.

[416] And he was I've read a couple of biographies on him, and it turns out we now live like two blocks from the main apartment where he was having all those weird German women that were obsessed with them flying for like weekends.

[417] Yeah, that's like two blocks away.

[418] And then we bought a house like an investment duplex.

[419] It turns out the address is one away from his childhood home.

[420] It's directly across the street.

[421] I don't know.

[422] I got such a bang out of that.

[423] Wow.

[424] I think of the way I found those books, to be honest, not Bukowski, but a lot of the other ones is there was this great series.

[425] One was called like smoking, drinking, and skis.

[426] growing.

[427] And it's a compilation book.

[428] So it's all these great authors from the 70s and 80s and it's on those topics.

[429] And then there's a bunch of them anyways.

[430] And they were great gateways to like Tim Robbins and all these other authors.

[431] Yeah.

[432] Isn't it fun that time, that time in your life when you're reading books and you're using them as gateways to like time travel and yeah.

[433] It literally comes at a time I think when you start to like actually know what reading is in like a critical way, critical reading, I guess.

[434] For me, it happened like around like the early years of high school, I guess, like, when I realized, like, well, now I could read pretty much anything.

[435] I can understand things that I didn't really understand before, just like signs, signs and stuff like that.

[436] But like, then it could do a tool set for everything else.

[437] It's very good.

[438] I have one other question about just the fact that you went to LaGuardia High School and you lived in Queens.

[439] Would you ever go out to that beach and watch the airplanes take off?

[440] Isn't that kind of a fun?

[441] Don't people do that on that area?

[442] I'm being serious.

[443] People used to go gather and watch the Concord take off when it would leave LaGuardia.

[444] Out of all the things that you can name to do in New York that people used to do.

[445] Rockaway Beach, Rockaway?

[446] Okay.

[447] So Rockaway Beach, so I assume that you'd be watching them from like that hanger or from J .S. Well, I guess in Rockaway, like you're right at the end of the runway for LaGuardia, aren't you?

[448] And then it just takes off over the water.

[449] I think you can kind of hang on that.

[450] A friend of mine used to do this and I found it to be so romantic and fun.

[451] And I assumed every teenager did this and that area, but I was wrong.

[452] It's like a very indie teen movie thing to do.

[453] You want to love her on the back of a shitty car, like smoking cigarettes.

[454] The guy's like, hey, do you want to see the best of New York, but for free?

[455] Oh, gross.

[456] You want to see that best hidden gem in New York?

[457] Yeah, yeah.

[458] We could go to the hangar.

[459] Yeah.

[460] It's like, I wanted to go to Cabo and pizza.

[461] And he hits you with some kind of, like.

[462] He's like, I always like to think about where these people are going in their lives.

[463] And you're like, me too.

[464] I think about where I'm going.

[465] And I want to go in the back of your cellicum.

[466] It's like, you're not going anywhere, Fred, until you get a job and you apply yourself.

[467] Yes.

[468] And it's like, still, I can't help but wonder what the other side would like.

[469] You ever seen sliding doors?

[470] And it would be.

[471] Do you think when these planes land these people will be changed?

[472] Stupid.

[473] Stupid.

[474] No, we can write it right now.

[475] We could write it right now.

[476] Oh, my God.

[477] We're going to have so many shows to pitch at the end of this.

[478] Let's do it.

[479] We can walk away with a deal.

[480] Yeah.

[481] No, we didn't do that.

[482] Okay.

[483] When you were in the trumpet phase, did you have a fantasy of what your life was going to be?

[484] And did it involve the trumpet?

[485] Like, were you all in on the trumpet?

[486] I guess you started rapping around 13.

[487] So probably you had that fantasy somewhere in there.

[488] Like, who were you going to be?

[489] that phase like I'd say it was probably one of my biggest depressive phases of my life because with the trumpet to answer the first part of your question there's not many places you can go with it and in terms of big things right so it's like if you got a degree in English or something like there's a lot of ways that you could apply that but a degree in the trumpet it's like my dream at that time was like maybe I could be in the pit maybe I could like work toward that but then I saw the work ethic of like actually good trumpet players, ones that were really good in my high school.

[490] And I was like, I can't do that.

[491] I'd never do that.

[492] And I also think that in high school, applying something that you found and that was like very almost kind of spiritual, like therapeutic, when you turn that into academia and you kind of map it out to be courses and these things and this level, what level of good do you have to prove to yourself?

[493] Oh, yeah.

[494] it's like taking something that you really had your own relationship with and then all of a sudden realizing that you're really not that good and all you kind of want is to be alone in your room those days doing like the Beatles songs right which aren't even trumpet songs they're not trumpet heavy well especially not the vocal part which is what you play you know you just kind of just want to be in your room with it and I always was very curious about music I relied on music throughout those depressive episodes as like a therapist and if I I had angst.

[495] That's a way that my inner angst was expressed if I felt lonely, I felt like I could listen to sad songs and I wasn't as lonely.

[496] And then it spurred into me wanting to produce music.

[497] And I loved the old DJs that looped a lot, like DJ Rashad.

[498] I loved Flying Lotus and all of these kind of new producers.

[499] And I really loved making songs.

[500] And making songs that time was a way for me to kind of escape the pressure of like not being a good trumpet player.

[501] So like that's what I were treated to do in my home.

[502] Well, if I can put you at ease at all, I think it all worked out for you.

[503] But my uncle was on that track.

[504] And he had outgrown all the trumpet instructors in Michigan.

[505] And so he had to drive every weekend to Cleveland.

[506] He spent his whole weekends in Cleveland learning from this great trumpet player.

[507] And then went to Juilliard, then got out, then auditioned for the Boston Symphony Orchestra, got in, played one season, and has never touched a trumpet again.

[508] Oof.

[509] What?

[510] I mean, God, that's a lot.

[511] Yes.

[512] And I think it can go that way.

[513] easier than you think.

[514] So the moment you got to, right, like this kind of inflection point where it's like, oh, I make this my 10 hour a day job and it's no longer an outlet or a catharsis.

[515] It's this math equation almost.

[516] I think once you get on that trajectory, you can wake up and go, wait, why did I do this?

[517] Yeah.

[518] And also I can kind of maybe, I mean, I'm sure he had other reasons.

[519] It sounds like a very abrupt stop.

[520] But I can also imagine that to get your muscles in shape to that kind of environment is like you can't put it down.

[521] You can't put it down for a day, take a little break.

[522] You got to be practicing every day, like a lot.

[523] Yes, and that's what blew my mind because, of course, by the time I was old enough to understand the story about him, I was so shocked that he never played it as an adult for fun.

[524] And to your point, it pains him so much to play that instrument out of practice.

[525] Because like you said, your mouth has to be so fit to do it that when you come off of it, you can't play the way you did and then you don't even want to play it.

[526] Well, yeah, I mean, you turn yourself off.

[527] You're like, look at you.

[528] You are so, your umbiture was so good.

[529] All the quality of everything has just diminished, hasn't it?

[530] So that's the conversation you have when you pick up a trumpet.

[531] It's the opposite of a bike.

[532] You do forget how to play the trumpet.

[533] Do you play it at all?

[534] Like, will you play it currently?

[535] Over the pandemic, I ordered a whole new rig.

[536] It was the first.

[537] trumpet I bought since that time of my life.

[538] Yeah.

[539] And I remember I was getting the valve oil.

[540] And it showed up and it was in the box.

[541] And I remember opening the box and like kind of smelling the smell.

[542] And I just left it.

[543] I just left it like with the plastic all like.

[544] And I just like kind of shoved it in the corner.

[545] I didn't look at it all pandemic.

[546] And then I whipped it out around Christmas time played silver bells.

[547] And then I just felt like I was like very like exposed to the neighborhood.

[548] Like it's like the whole neighborhood knows where this is coming from.

[549] And they know that I'm alone in here and I'm not that good, right?

[550] And it's Christmas.

[551] It's been a while.

[552] Yeah, and it's silver bells.

[553] I might call the suicide line if I heard someone by themselves playing the trumpet on Christmas Eve.

[554] I might be concerned.

[555] It wasn't Christmas Eve, but it's very close to it.

[556] It's very close to it, yeah.

[557] I do think there's this maybe American ideal or maybe it's worldwide, I don't know, but that like find something you love and then make it your job.

[558] And I don't know that.

[559] that's exactly right.

[560] I mean, it's kind of hard for me to say that because we all did that.

[561] Yeah, and it worked out.

[562] But there's some truth to you lose a big element of it that's sacred to you when it becomes your job.

[563] Sure.

[564] Yeah.

[565] I will say that, like, with this career, though, I feel like even on days when I'm tired or like on days where they're not, maybe not the best days, I don't know, you guys are like what the fuck if you're about to say?

[566] I feel like I'm still kind of grateful.

[567] And I did feel like this a lot growing up.

[568] I did feel like I was really preparing myself for a life of constant letdowns, the first one being myself, but also just like sacrificing something for something else.

[569] Maybe I'm good at, but I don't care that I'm good at it.

[570] It's not like an identity you want.

[571] So you go away to college, this part of your story is very perplexing, I guess, until you find out what the motivation was unless that, too, is erroneously.

[572] but you went to China to Beijing to learn Mandarin.

[573] Yep.

[574] The only reason I second guess myself is that I know that your family owns one of the oldest Cantonese restaurants in Long Island.

[575] In Flushing.

[576] In Flushing.

[577] They owned past tense.

[578] My great grandpa came here in like the 1940s, and he worked at a restaurant in the Bronx and Inwood Hill.

[579] And then he eventually came to start one in Flushing before that neighborhood was Chinese.

[580] So at that time, it was predominantly white.

[581] But it was one of the first.

[582] And I remember like all throughout my childhood, even when I started to do this, like I'd come across people that used to go there as kids.

[583] Yeah.

[584] Because its heyday was really like this between the 60s and the 80s.

[585] So then it went bankrupt and kind of ended messily.

[586] So I think because I read it was a Cantonese restaurant.

[587] And then you went in studied Mandarin primarily so you could communicate, yes, with your grandfather.

[588] Not your great grandfather, but you're grandfather and you're a grandmother?

[589] I had a really good friend who was a year older than me, and she was about to start at NYU for Chinese.

[590] And she was going to China for a summer program and was like, we had just become friends.

[591] So I was like, this is weird that you'd ask me to do this with you.

[592] Yeah.

[593] But there was something about her I really liked.

[594] And I was like, I'm so down to go to China with you.

[595] And then we went.

[596] And I was able to go see where my grandma grew up.

[597] And I was learning a lot.

[598] There was like things that were familiar about growing up, about the food and stuff, but it was like an exchange program.

[599] And I really liked it that I then went back to study more, to learn more Chinese, yeah.

[600] You told a really funny story on Kimmel about it, but you were writing for some government -sanctioned media outlet and you were reviewing restaurants, but you really couldn't give anything less than a five out of six stars.

[601] Yeah, it wasn't necessarily shady.

[602] I'm pretty sure that there are other practices that are similar.

[603] But no, I went to this one restaurant and it had just opened no one was really ready for customers right like not just that they were like new it just they literally weren't ready they're like i had a chain and i thing and like you know like everything just like wasn't they weren't there yeah because especially because i was going to restaurants that were like really the service was there everything was there like the food all that there was care there was heart and then i went to this one i was like no dude like they don't even want people to be there.

[604] Right.

[605] And then they were like, no, they do.

[606] A lot.

[607] Yeah.

[608] So immediately, I guess when I think of you doing that, like Monica would have never done that because she kind of was kind of running from being Indian in Georgia.

[609] Like, that's not my thing.

[610] I'm an American cheerleader.

[611] Were you distancing yourself from your Asianness or clearly not, if you were willing to go do that?

[612] It doesn't seem like you were trying to like distance yourself from that?

[613] I think that I had a weird relationship with it growing up.

[614] I think that anyone in this country who is kind of a dash American, right, is going to feel a degree of otherness.

[615] Yeah.

[616] And I think as a result of it is like at home, I felt like there's like this world that really no one at school could understand and vice versa.

[617] I feel like I would come home because I was raised by my grandma who was kind of a generation above.

[618] And even that generation, no gap.

[619] It was like instead of learning mascara, right?

[620] Like, it's just the benefits of witch hazel and glutamine powder and whatnot, right?

[621] So there were things that I felt like I had to fill in the gaps myself.

[622] And, like, what really is identity when you don't feel Asian enough when you don't speak the language at home?

[623] And then when you go to school and people call you Ching Tong all day.

[624] So it's like, like, really, how do you feel?

[625] And so I think all of that really led me to that period of not only China, but the trumpet.

[626] nin, all that, because I really felt like I'm not fitting into any of these identities right now.

[627] What are the things that I feel like speak to me?

[628] I mean, I think that you really, really have to do that work for yourself, because if you let the world define you at a young age, you're going to essentially walk around invisible and just at the kind of hands of whoever's be in front of you and whoever they want you to be.

[629] If you don't have that sense of self, and I think it's something that you really continue to work on, like, even now.

[630] I'd be interested to hear, like, your experience was with it, Monica.

[631] It's ever evolving.

[632] I'm just now coming to the point where it's like, I'm a little more curious about some of those things.

[633] I totally closed the door on.

[634] Same.

[635] Yeah.

[636] I definitely always feel like I'm still making that up.

[637] Yeah, there's a gap that you're always going to have to try to make up for it.

[638] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[639] We've all been there.

[640] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[641] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[642] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[643] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[644] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

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[648] What's up, guys?

[649] This is your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[650] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment.

[651] best and brightest, okay?

[652] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[653] And I don't mean just friends.

[654] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[655] The list goes on.

[656] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[657] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[658] As an outsider, I look at Monica and her mom and dad.

[659] And I have this crazy affinity for Indians, partly because of Monica, but partly like watching Hussein show and watching how Indians argue and stuff.

[660] Like, they're so verbal and I just, I don't know.

[661] I really dig it.

[662] And I can see if I were Monica going, like, I'm not them, I'm not them.

[663] I'm not them.

[664] I'm just a cheerleader.

[665] And then recognizing somebody, you're like, oh, they're neat.

[666] They're cool.

[667] I come from a cool history of, I mean, the Indus Valley is the earliest civilization other than Mesopotamia.

[668] Like, there's all this neat shit.

[669] And it's a pretty heterogeneous population, which is fascinating.

[670] And I don't know.

[671] I can see where I'd just be like, oh, no, no. there's some magic here too I want to infuse in me and incorporate and I think that it's weird when that realization comes I think that like we're not really put in a position to be proud of that stuff when we're young but just really hard like the world really doesn't set up to make us feel like we're supposed to be okay with that and then I think later I remember hearing my grandpa has passed but I remember when I was in China and my whole life I really hadn't spoken to him at length.

[672] Like he just was kind of a grunter, one of those grandpas.

[673] It's like, you don't know, was that a no or yes, I don't know.

[674] Was he a heavy smoker?

[675] He was.

[676] He was.

[677] He was a pipe smoker, yeah.

[678] Good, good, good.

[679] And he, like, wrote me this email in Chinese when I was learning.

[680] I wrote him this, like, kind of just really stupid, just like, hi, grandpa.

[681] I bought bananas at the market.

[682] Yeah, yeah.

[683] At the library.

[684] Right.

[685] That's the biblioteca.

[686] The biblioteca.

[687] I just say biblioteca.

[688] And he's like, okay.

[689] But he wrote me this like really long email and I didn't understand some of the words and I translated it and it was like so eloquent.

[690] There was such thought and like poise and elegance and like beautiful use of the language, right?

[691] I was like, God, I didn't even know this man was capable of thinking like this because my whole life, it's been nothing but oh, okay, you know, that's it.

[692] And so I was really struck by that.

[693] That would almost make me really, really sad that my grandpa went to a place where his elegance and word smithery and all this that he had was invisible.

[694] Yeah.

[695] And that's exactly what my grandpa went through.

[696] He was a scholar in China.

[697] When he came here, he kind of had to work in his dad's restaurant.

[698] And I remember he got a taxi medallion in the 60s, and he'd get beat up all the time.

[699] And he'd just wait.

[700] And my grandma would catch him just reading at JFK in the taxi line.

[701] He would never take people.

[702] Because he just, didn't want to do it.

[703] I mean, it's super, it's sad.

[704] But it's also a story that is not rare within the immigrants that came over at that time.

[705] It was really hard.

[706] I got to say, I was coming to terms with some stuff last night watching you, like I watched your Saturday Night Live episode that you hosted, and you were telling this really cute and profound story about having gone to 30 Rock when you were a kid because Lucy Lou was hosting and she was like your hero.

[707] I sort of found myself really breaking down, like, what is going on with the view of Asians?

[708] Like, what is it?

[709] And I think one key component is there seems to be almost no sympathy for Asians.

[710] And I think it's because in general, they've performed well here.

[711] Like, Asian immigrants in general have found their way in a middle class.

[712] They come as professionals quite often.

[713] We have this stereotype that Asians do well.

[714] They're great at school.

[715] They get into the universities.

[716] So there seems to be no like acknowledgement of their struggle.

[717] I think because they've succeeded in, again, this is the stereotype of it.

[718] But I think there's something to that.

[719] I don't know.

[720] What are your all thoughts on that?

[721] You're defining the model minority myth.

[722] So that's an actual problem.

[723] It not only ignores the struggles, but it ignores actual real groups of people that are not doing well and are in need of like the most help in terms of poverty, in terms of resources, in terms of the things that they go through.

[724] That myth ignores that part of the community.

[725] And it's one of those things I think Asian people argue all the time is harmful, a way of looking at it.

[726] But you're right.

[727] That's why stereotypes are bad, right?

[728] Yeah.

[729] Because they perpetuate kind of this non -full scope of reality.

[730] Yeah, I think like for, I'm not excusing this.

[731] I'm just attempting to explain how all this is happening.

[732] But I do think when you're like a parent and you're trying to get your kid into UCLA, I went to UCLA, and it was majority Asian.

[733] And as a parent, all of a sudden, you're like, well, I don't even think my kid can compete with those first generation kids.

[734] Like, their parents are going to work them to the bone and they're going to have a 4 .04 when they get out of high school.

[735] They're put in a position where they're evaluating Asians as competition, which I don't think that the hegemonic group, the white group in America, looks at other ethnicities with that same sense of like competition.

[736] Oh, I'm going to get displaced by them.

[737] Yeah.

[738] I mean, I think it's tricky because they're not looking at the generations that came over.

[739] Well, they're not looking at Southeast Asians that are in Detroit that are struggling.

[740] But even still, like Aquafina is saying about her grandfather, like he's a scholar.

[741] Then he comes here and is in the taxi line.

[742] But you're looking at the kids underneath that.

[743] Uh -huh.

[744] So you're not looking at the full picture.

[745] I mean, I think it's hard to say.

[746] I mean, could there be any other scenario in which an entire race, think that they have to be pitted against this entire group.

[747] Like, I think it gets a little funny and it gets a little weird when it does go into that.

[748] Because also, I can fully say that, like, I wasn't one of those kids, right?

[749] Like, I grew up with definitely immigrant parents that, like, didn't work me. I do think that there has to be context and kind of these social observations.

[750] I think the context for that goes back to, like, kind of what Monica was saying.

[751] There's an immigrant story happening.

[752] And there tends to be this kind of belief that.

[753] when you come over, you want to do right by your parents and you want to work hard in school because how much they sacrifice to bring you to this place, to give you a better life.

[754] There are definitely different sides.

[755] I'll keep it personal.

[756] I was watching you.

[757] And then when you said that about Lucy Lou, I was like, oh, wow.

[758] Yeah.

[759] I've not seen any Asians host Saturday Live.

[760] Yeah.

[761] And then I go, why haven't I noticed that?

[762] Like I would notice if there had never been a black host.

[763] So why didn't I notice that?

[764] I guess I was like grilling myself.

[765] Like, why are you telling me that is my first realization that, oh, yeah, there aren't Asian hosts in Sarat Live.

[766] You haven't put them in a quote, oppressed category.

[767] That's right.

[768] That's what I'm saying.

[769] And then I realized like, oh, what a bizarre burden to bear when people actually think you're thriving.

[770] And so one not even think about where you're at and how underrepresented you are.

[771] But then, of course, as I'm starting to think about it, I'm like, oh, fuck yeah, Asians are so underrepresented.

[772] Even far more than, I would say, Indians at this point.

[773] Yeah, I mean, I think it's also just, it's just painting with such a broad brush that's like, oh, Asians are smart, Asians, blah, blah, blah.

[774] It's like, that's the main problem, in my opinion, is that we just do these big lumpings of like, yeah, half the world is Asian, but we're going to call them one thing.

[775] It's just not true.

[776] And you said that your parents didn't push you.

[777] Like, I have a brother who is definitely not typical stereotype and friends that aren't.

[778] When you start to get to know people, really, you see, like, oh, none of this is true.

[779] Well, I think the great thing about America is it'll make any ethnicity lazy over a few generations.

[780] Like, that's an encouraging part of the power of this country is we will all be mediocre, you know, after a few.

[781] I'm sure the shepherds were super industrious at one point when they got here from Scotland or wherever the fuck they came from.

[782] Oh, man. Man, can I float a really scary one out there?

[783] Oh, boy.

[784] Oh, no. Well, no, I would want your permission.

[785] This would be a total exploration.

[786] It could sound crazy and bad, but it just, it crossed my mind.

[787] I think, again, so it's on anyone who's buying into the stereotype.

[788] But I can imagine where it almost feels a little transactional for immigrants from, like, India.

[789] Because you're going to a university and you're going to be a physicist.

[790] Or if you're Asian and you were led in.

[791] for the school system, there's this sense that, oh, maybe it's transactional.

[792] Like, maybe there's not a desire to be an American, but maybe there's a desire to be a professional or make a lot of money or, does that make any sense?

[793] I mean, I'm scared saying all this, but I'm wondering if there's some people are assuming something about the motives of Asian.

[794] Why do people want the motive to be anything other than that?

[795] Yeah.

[796] Like, why shouldn't people come to be a professional and give something to this country?

[797] By the way, that is why they came.

[798] Well, that's what I was going to say.

[799] Like, that's literally how we were formed.

[800] Yes.

[801] With, like, I think that the immigrants changed over time.

[802] And if you go back into time, you can actually see that, like, there was tons of racist legislation, things that, like, we no longer remember as, like, these kind of really oppressed groups, right?

[803] Yeah.

[804] There was a Chinese Exclusion Act.

[805] America has been doing this for a long time.

[806] I mean, it's interesting what you're saying.

[807] I think that, like, you just see, like, ticket to America.

[808] for a degree, right?

[809] But I think there's, like, so much that goes on in between.

[810] And also, the hard thing about America is that nothing is promised.

[811] You can move here from fleeing something really horrible situation with these young kids.

[812] And they can prove to not be good students.

[813] I mean, like that happens, too.

[814] But what Monica was saying, I think that there shouldn't be anything wrong with that, maybe on an individual level.

[815] Because I think we all want what's right for our family.

[816] We all want to protect our children.

[817] and we all want our children to get in school.

[818] So I think it's maybe a shared one.

[819] I think maybe we are more similar than you'd think.

[820] Yeah, we're all fucking human.

[821] That's so obvious.

[822] And all these things are definitely mental constructs.

[823] But then I guess it was interesting for me to have that experience last night where I'm like, oh, that's a problem that that hasn't occurred to me. So then I'm just kind of in the rabbit hole of trying to figure that out.

[824] That's a really interesting question because I didn't realize how much I needed Lucy Lou until I saw her in Charlie's Angels and realized that she was like, really kind of flung out of nowhere in terms of, like, what she was doing on screen, the way that she was being featured.

[825] I was obsessed with Lucy Lou.

[826] And I remember there was, like, this one red carpet interview she did where the guy was like, are you in the movie?

[827] And she was like, yeah, just a cameo.

[828] And I remember, like, laugh.

[829] I didn't even know what a cameo meant.

[830] And I was, like, laughing along with it because I was like, Lucy, they're so funny and charming.

[831] But then I realized what a cameo was.

[832] And I was like, no, she wasn't a cameo.

[833] And when she gave that S &L speech, she was like, I'm the first Asian American woman to host this show.

[834] And I remember being like, whoa, that's crazy.

[835] And when I went, I knew I wasn't going to see her, but I just wanted to be like near her.

[836] I can't even explain it to you today what that was.

[837] But it was like, I wanted to bear witness.

[838] Yes.

[839] Be present.

[840] Yeah.

[841] And it just like was, I think it was an impulse that really came out of nowhere.

[842] I don't think that it was like, well, I should do my due diligence and watch this episode.

[843] It was like, whoa, like this is so, like this is nuts.

[844] Yeah.

[845] It's like an emotional response to something.

[846] Yeah.

[847] And part of that identity searching probably that's like pulling you there.

[848] Oh, yeah, definitely.

[849] I mean, Margaret Cho was very impactful for me and seeing her.

[850] You want to see people that look like you doing things that maybe you're not good enough to do.

[851] But it's like you're so different than anything I've ever been served.

[852] This is fun.

[853] My parents are in town currently.

[854] And we were just talking about this last night.

[855] We were at dinner and they were talking about these Indian.

[856] CEOs and basically just like, wow, Indians have done so well here, and they were proud of that.

[857] And I did say, I said, well, I think that's probably going to start going away as these generations age out.

[858] And we just have like all these Indian Americans that are going to be way more, way more average.

[859] But we were talking about the difference and like why in some of these cultures you're able to rise above.

[860] Part of it is English.

[861] Like my parents were like in India, English is a language you learn in school.

[862] It's part of it.

[863] So when you come here, you have that skill.

[864] You have an accent, but you have the language skills completely.

[865] Yeah, yeah.

[866] That is a huge.

[867] It's a benefit.

[868] Because then they're able to, you know, communication here is such a big deal.

[869] Like if someone can't communicate, you're just like, ah, I just, you write them off.

[870] And I do think at the Asian cultures, there can be that boundary, which is why with their grandfather, when he came here.

[871] I'm sure he has the ability to rise up in the ranks of a school or whatever.

[872] Well, it really affected him in every way.

[873] It affected how he looked at himself as a provider of the family, as a man, as someone who wanted to really start over.

[874] He couldn't.

[875] And also, interestingly enough, my grandma will say it's a pride thing because my grandma worked in a hospital and she worked with, like, all kinds of nurses from like all kinds of different backgrounds, mostly immigrant nurses that spoke English and she learned English from them and was speaking English like at an amazing alarming rate before my grandpa did so my grandma would speak for him kind of emasculating yeah yeah that added to it so I don't think that it was like he was incapable he didn't want to lend himself to it it was very much like the old country kind of thinking right like this is a new place and I'm grown but yeah the language has a lot to do with it when you were over in China I did a movie with Michael Pena and we became good buddies.

[876] Yeah, he's great.

[877] He's awesome.

[878] He's phenomenal, but he's told me many times about when he goes to Mexico, he's looked at, like he speaks Spanish, but he speaks it with a U .S. accent, right?

[879] So, and then the way the Mexicans look at him is like he thinks he's hot shit, which of course he doesn't think he's hot shit.

[880] But it's, again, it's that area where it's like you're in Queens and you're not fully Queens.

[881] And then you go to China, and I would imagine you might think like, oh, I'm going to feel like I'm home in some way.

[882] And then there did you feel like, oh, no, I am an American to them.

[883] Yeah, I totally did.

[884] And not only to them, to me, like I felt like I really didn't make sense there in that context because my friend that I went there with was white, and she knew more Chinese than I did.

[885] So it was a constant, like, why isn't she talking constantly?

[886] Yes, yes, yes.

[887] I dated a non -Asian person there, and he lived there and, like, worked there.

[888] And they'd be like, why doesn't your woman speak to me?

[889] And I was just like, okay, first of all, I could be Korean, right?

[890] It's like there's other Asian countries, y 'all.

[891] Like, why you assume that I am what I am?

[892] It's like another level of irony that the only people that are speaking better Chinese than you, aside from obviously Chinese people are American people, right?

[893] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[894] It's like all these people that are learning at Beijing University and you're just like, yeah, yeah, I'd have a Coca -Cola.

[895] So I didn't feel like it translated there either.

[896] But it was challenging maybe in a way that I enjoyed because I really had to sink or swim out there.

[897] Yeah.

[898] I'm curious, you get home and you go to college in Albany.

[899] I just want to know, again, where you were setting your sights.

[900] Like, was it going to be music at that point?

[901] I think it's like you just kind of go with life until it happens, right?

[902] Like, I can't say that I was both a passive figure or an active figure in what happened to me, essentially.

[903] I can't say.

[904] You were active in creating my Vag, but then you're completely passive on what the outcome of that is.

[905] Yeah, of course.

[906] You don't know the outcome.

[907] And it's like, are you in control the timing?

[908] Was it the right time?

[909] Is it always right place, right time?

[910] Are there a bunch of people that should be a lot farther along, but they just didn't do it?

[911] Then you get into semantics of that.

[912] You really don't know.

[913] When I was going to college, I didn't get into any college, pretty much.

[914] I was such a bad student.

[915] I had to take gym summer school.

[916] I had to take the earth science regions, which is the most basic science.

[917] I had to take the regents.

[918] I failed it three times.

[919] So I was a horrible student.

[920] I remember going to City College, which was a CUNY.

[921] It was a little bit cheaper and it was local.

[922] And they have great schools in that program.

[923] I went there.

[924] I remember the woman just was like, I didn't get your application.

[925] Let me see your report card.

[926] Gave her my report card.

[927] And she was like, you didn't do well enough to get into this school.

[928] And I was like, ow, like, that really hurts because it's like, you're telling me this in person, like in front of me. Yeah, yeah.

[929] It's not just a paper, like an email.

[930] You're not worthy.

[931] Yeah.

[932] And also, it's like, are you even the person?

[933] Because, like, I feel like I'm in this office.

[934] I didn't do this the right way.

[935] You're not delivering me this news the right way.

[936] Like, all of this, it's doomed from the start.

[937] Like, what the fun?

[938] Yeah.

[939] I came in to get my license renewed.

[940] Why are you telling me I can't go to college?

[941] Yeah, it's like, am I at the DMV?

[942] Are you just someone, yeah.

[943] And so I remember going to school and I went to school.

[944] And I went to.

[945] China and I applied for SUNY Albany while I was in China saying why I was there, apologizing for my past school records.

[946] And I got in.

[947] Like a day later, I was like, you are so in.

[948] And I was like, did I have to just go to another country and tell you that like I had like some gumption?

[949] Yeah, some worldly ambitions.

[950] Yeah.

[951] So I got in and I chose journalism.

[952] And I remember that period was hard because I was used to doing music for more than half of my day and band.

[953] and class and going to a very arts -centric community school, all that, and going to then kind of just a really massive state school.

[954] And because I took that year off to go to China, I was in a school with people that were younger than me, a year younger.

[955] And it hurts less in college, but like, I mean, in high school, being held back.

[956] So there was a lot of things going on.

[957] And that's really where I started to realize how much I needed to make music.

[958] When I watch my Vag, and I see you on SNL, and I just get to know who you are, I see a New York kid.

[959] Like, I have a stereotype as well for a New York kid.

[960] My friend Leslie Arfin, she's like, for me, the prototypical fucking New York female, like tattoos, ex -junky, skateboarder.

[961] I have a stereotype about that as well.

[962] And then so I'm like, oh, I'm putting you in that category in my head when I see you.

[963] I'm like, oh, this kid is a very New York streets kid.

[964] and that seems to be the loudest thing.

[965] For me, when I look at you, is this inextricable New York vibe that kids get when they grow up there.

[966] Do you know what I'm saying, like cool and a point of view, too adult in a great way?

[967] Yeah.

[968] I noticed it in other people.

[969] I love that about other New Yorkers.

[970] Yeah.

[971] All right, now we really got to make up some time.

[972] This was so exciting.

[973] I really enjoyed this.

[974] Well, this is the point.

[975] This is the point.

[976] Your album that you relates in 2014 is called Yellow Ranger.

[977] Yeah.

[978] All right.

[979] Next question.

[980] No, no. I love it.

[981] It's good.

[982] So I was friends with Margaret.

[983] In the late 90s, I moved to L .A. And she was very much in this comedy scene that I was in, this kind of alternative comedy scene.

[984] And it was required, I think.

[985] Maybe that's not the right way to say it.

[986] But I could see where for her felt very required to be acknowledging her age.

[987] a lot in her art. And I think as people break down the barriers, it's like this ratio that dissipates, thank God.

[988] It's not like, like Chappelle talks about black issues for sure, but it's not like he's up there going, I'm black.

[989] Let's acknowledge this fact.

[990] I'm black.

[991] Let's talk about that.

[992] I got to ease you into the, like, we're there.

[993] Thank God.

[994] That's not what a black comedian has to do anymore.

[995] But I do think, like, for many of the comedians that I've worked in the last 20 years, you're probably one of the people that transitions into, like, I'm just a comedian that doesn't have to be part of it.

[996] I don't know what I'm asking.

[997] Am I saying anything that makes sense?

[998] Do you feel the weight of it on you that you have to represent?

[999] You have to go like, all right, guys, let's talk about this.

[1000] Yep, I'm Asian.

[1001] Like, let's get this out of the way.

[1002] Yeah, I've never done stand -up, but I go to see a lot of Asian stand -up nowadays.

[1003] And, these are, well, Asian -American stand up, right?

[1004] So it's like in Koreatown, my friend dumbfounded has like all these nights where he like wrangles a bunch of like really awesome comedian.

[1005] Some nights are really just Asian comedians.

[1006] And I'm noticing more and more like I used to go to shows where there would be like one Asian comedian out of like eight other comedians that might have been primarily white, maybe somewhere female.

[1007] And I can see in that context and especially like even in the 90s, which if you look culturally at like the progression we've made would seem like aliens, some of the things that were okay back then and what we had to do, especially as people of color, I wasn't even performing in the 90s, but what I would imagine is that you would have to wear it on your sleeve a lot more.

[1008] What I'm noticing now is like on these Asian nights with these comedians, they tend to not acknowledge it.

[1009] And when they do, it's just like, well, you know, it's like that kind of thing.

[1010] It's like, it's not like explaining that we eat dumplings or we use chopsticks.

[1011] These were things that were like very much a part of like many repertoires until very recently.

[1012] I think now as they're becoming more, and I think that there is this kind of like wildfire aspect, the same reason why I felt magnetized to see Lucy Lou, I think there's a lot of young people, especially in comedy right now, that are seeing that it's possible, they're in L .A. There are all kinds of cool open mic nights.

[1013] And it's like prompting people to just be artists and not really have to be held accounted for like, well, you didn't talk about Asian stuff.

[1014] Because I also think, interestingly, and I'm sorry if I'm going off, I don't think that they were forced in, even back then, to address Asianness in a way that you'd have this kind of sketchy white producer that's like, but you're going to talk about the Asian thing, right?

[1015] I mean, maybe some were, but like, I think some of them, it was like kind of this unspoken thing that they felt forced to.

[1016] And I think also the annoying thing is that you're in a position where you feel like you have to address it because you're the only Asian person.

[1017] And then you have people like yelling at you because all you talk about is Asian, right?

[1018] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1019] So it's like, well, how am I going to win in this situation?

[1020] It's like, I can't talk about it, talk about it too much.

[1021] I have to talk about it.

[1022] It's weird if I don't.

[1023] Yeah, like you're in a catch 22 because comedy is your perspective and your story as is if you're a writer, you write your story, being Asian's part of your story, but what part of it, but maybe not the degree that the white audience wants it to be?

[1024] Who knows?

[1025] Right.

[1026] I think the reason I asked is I thought about this over the years.

[1027] At the time it was happening, it seemed normal.

[1028] But now over the years, I always think about this.

[1029] I used to work for General Motors, the car company, and we were doing this car show, and we were in Texas, and there was an engineer from Texas, and he was Asian.

[1030] And he had like a good old Texas accent, right?

[1031] And when he'd get up and address all the journalists, first thing he'd have to say is like, I bet you weren't expecting this voice to come out of this guy, you know.

[1032] And it was amusing to people.

[1033] Like, in their stereotype or whatever.

[1034] whatever their archetype of an Asian, it did not have a Texas accent, right?

[1035] Sure.

[1036] And what it really, like, I've always think about, oh, my God, that poor guy, every time he got up to talk about his specialty, which is engineering a car, he had to go through this whole thing about being a Texas Asian dude.

[1037] And what it really is is it's just representation.

[1038] Because there's not Asians with Southern accents on television, you're not aware of them.

[1039] Guess what?

[1040] If people aren't on television, you're kind of not aware of them.

[1041] You grow up in Detroit.

[1042] So all signs more and more and more, in my opinion, point to, yeah, you need examples of everyone and you need representation.

[1043] Absolutely.

[1044] Because that's what's fueling the stereotype.

[1045] I mean, and you know what?

[1046] I'm going to be honest, like when I see Asian people with like a really intense southern act, like I feel like a, I'm just like, that's so cool.

[1047] Monica's mom, Nirmala, she's from fucking Savannah, Georgia.

[1048] She moved there when she was four or five.

[1049] Oh.

[1050] Yeah, she is a full on southern accent.

[1051] So when I met them.

[1052] She was a full on southern accent.

[1053] Well, I didn't notice it.

[1054] She didn't even know, which is great.

[1055] I also grew up in Georgia, but not Savannah more metro Atlanta, so I don't have one.

[1056] But Savannah's south -south.

[1057] So she has one, but I just grew up listening.

[1058] My dad has an accent, too.

[1059] He's an Indian accent.

[1060] So I'm just hearing all these different sounds basically.

[1061] And when I met them, I met them in that order.

[1062] I met dad.

[1063] Dad spoke first.

[1064] and that's on brand and then her mom speaks and she's like how long y 'all run in this house?

[1065] And I was like, whoa, oh, this is great.

[1066] Yeah, but I didn't even know.

[1067] Then, Dax was like, oh, my God, you have such a strong Southern accent.

[1068] And I was like, she does?

[1069] Like, I didn't even.

[1070] Yeah.

[1071] I grew up with a girl who had a Scottish dad and, like, didn't realize that he had a bad accent, you know?

[1072] Yeah.

[1073] Right.

[1074] Yes.

[1075] It's just like, you just grow up with.

[1076] Your parents' voice is white noise at some point.

[1077] Yeah, true.

[1078] Well, yeah.

[1079] It sounds like to turn.

[1080] Brown.

[1081] Yeah.

[1082] Well, that's the first negative thing associated with white.

[1083] We know we're always talking about how everything bad is black.

[1084] Yeah.

[1085] White lie?

[1086] White noise.

[1087] Well, no, white lies like bullshit.

[1088] That's kind of like, oh, it doesn't count if it's a white.

[1089] Yeah, white noise is kind of good, though.

[1090] Yeah, white noise is kind of good.

[1091] No, it's bad, right?

[1092] It's oppressive.

[1093] It's ever present.

[1094] Your brain recognizes it as a distraction.

[1095] You file it into, I'm not going to listen to this.

[1096] Oh, that in some ways it's bad, but also it's a machine you put on at night to go to sleep and it's soothing.

[1097] Oh, that's nice.

[1098] You're right.

[1099] You're right.

[1100] But if it was called black noise, like, oh, well, you don't even hear that because it's black noise.

[1101] That would be, we'd be like, oh, that's negative.

[1102] Anyway, I think I just found the first negative white connotation.

[1103] It's still not the best.

[1104] We're discovering things.

[1105] We're blazing new trails.

[1106] Whitehead.

[1107] Oh, but there's also blackhead.

[1108] But whitehead's grosser.

[1109] I'd rather have a blackhead than a whitehead.

[1110] Yeah, me too.

[1111] Whitehead you're going to see from a mile away.

[1112] Yeah, this is true.

[1113] You could get by on like a 35 millimeter lens with blackheads.

[1114] No one knows.

[1115] Okay.

[1116] So based on the success of all your music and the viral nature of my Vag, which I watch and it's so fucking fantastic.

[1117] Granddad's Cabbage is the best part of that from my money.

[1118] You find your way into film and television and you're fantastic at that.

[1119] Just one thing I got excited about like the Bukowski thing is you did two things with Stoller.

[1120] Oh, yeah.

[1121] Yeah, you know Stoller?

[1122] So my first movie ever, 17 years ago was a movie called Without a Paddle.

[1123] And that was one of Nick Stoller's first writing jobs where they flew him to New Zealand.

[1124] He was like the punch -up writer.

[1125] Seth Green?

[1126] Seth Green, Matthew Lillard.

[1127] I love Matthew Lillard.

[1128] Oh, is any of the great?

[1129] Do you remember that I'm in that movie?

[1130] No, you said Seth Green and Matthew Lillard.

[1131] Okay.

[1132] Oh, my God, is Seth Green in that?

[1133] Yeah.

[1134] I love Matthew Lillard.

[1135] Cool.

[1136] Matthew Lillard was tight, though.

[1137] I was like, I had a crush on Matthew Lillard growing up.

[1138] Fuck, yeah.

[1139] We all did.

[1140] It was in Scream, right?

[1141] That's where I was like, who's this tall drink of water?

[1142] He was in Scream and 13 ghosts.

[1143] Do you remember that movie?

[1144] 13 ghosts?

[1145] SLC punk he was in.

[1146] We love him.

[1147] We love Lillard.

[1148] Love Seth Green, yeah.

[1149] I was excited that both of us, because those are your first movies, too.

[1150] That's early in the pipeline.

[1151] He's a great director to have your first movie with, I think.

[1152] I think he's really nice, just like puts he at ease.

[1153] Yeah, no pretentiousness from him.

[1154] Yes, exactly.

[1155] Yeah.

[1156] Which I've drawn to.

[1157] Okay.

[1158] And then lastly, obviously crazy rich Asians is like, now you're going to get to do anything.

[1159] And that's Chu who we're friends with for years and years and years, John Chu.

[1160] From our social circle, not professionally.

[1161] We're just friends with.

[1162] We wish professionally.

[1163] Yeah, he won't hire either of us.

[1164] I mean, I think we all can say we wish to be associated with him professionally.

[1165] Yeah.

[1166] Even I can say that right now.

[1167] He's doing some great things.

[1168] And then for farewell in 2019, you won a Golden Globe, which is phenomenal.

[1169] And you're the first Asian.

[1170] actress to win Golden Glove.

[1171] Is that accurate?

[1172] There's been nominations.

[1173] Of that category of comedy or a musical.

[1174] Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

[1175] All right.

[1176] Now let's talk about while you're here.

[1177] Marvel's Shung Chi, the legend of 10 rings.

[1178] Am I saying 10 correctly?

[1179] Yes.

[1180] 10 rings.

[1181] No, you're doing so good.

[1182] Yeah.

[1183] Okay, first and foremost, I watched a trailer last night because obviously the movie's not out.

[1184] It comes out September 3rd.

[1185] everyone should see it.

[1186] But I was like, fuck, yeah, Marvel's going to try kung fu, basically, for me, from my growing up watching this, this is the first martial arts version of a Marvel movie, yeah?

[1187] I think so, yeah.

[1188] You don't look pumped on that description, I just get it.

[1189] I can see your face, you're like, what's he saying?

[1190] No, no, you're right.

[1191] Everything you're saying is true, yeah.

[1192] I'm just stoked because I generally, the superhero movies to me got too much.

[1193] Everyone's got too much power.

[1194] Everyone's the immovable object and the unstoppable force.

[1195] Like, what are the stakes if every character can demolish buildings?

[1196] But this, to me, seems way more real.

[1197] You know what I'm saying?

[1198] It's not like this character's not going to fly to another planet in any point and chat with Thor, I don't think.

[1199] Not specifically, no. Okay, great.

[1200] What's the history of this Marvel?

[1201] Was it a graphic novel?

[1202] Was it a comic book?

[1203] Shang -she was a graphic novel from like a couple decades ago.

[1204] It's kind of a fixture within the comic universe.

[1205] It has a history that is more complicated.

[1206] There are other characters that are in his family.

[1207] But what's different now is like Destin, the director, wanted like a different take on what this story would be.

[1208] So it's totally reimagined.

[1209] And I think that it's like for Asian kids, like if you're not thinking of like Bruce Lee and like that whole era of kung fu movies and martial arts, there is a disconnect between the way that Asian American kids, I think, are able to feel, like, actually connected and proud, right?

[1210] Of, like, that kind of martial arts of that kind.

[1211] I think this movie, like, really displays it in this, like, really different way that feels modern, but also is very, very rigidly derived from, like, traditional practices.

[1212] And it makes you feel, like, proud to come from a culture that, like, invented that stuff.

[1213] So, yeah, he is definitely one of a kind.

[1214] In your ever -changing identity and career direction, have you sat and thought about what it is to be in a Marvel movie?

[1215] I guess have you prepared yourself mentally at all for like the leap generally one takes once they're in those?

[1216] Oh, I thought you were talking about like the fandom.

[1217] Well, that's an aspect of it for sure.

[1218] Yeah, I don't know even what that process is like.

[1219] I think that I'll soon find out, right?

[1220] But, like, I haven't really prepared.

[1221] Do you think that I should?

[1222] What do you think I should do?

[1223] That's a great question.

[1224] I haven't been in one, but I've had friends that have gone to the stratosphere.

[1225] And that's a very specific ride.

[1226] And it seems to be pretty isolating.

[1227] So is a lot of aspects of it is, right?

[1228] Yeah.

[1229] It's this huge fantasy and it's so wonderful.

[1230] And then also you're like, well, where the rubber meets the road, I'm sitting in a hotel room most of my year.

[1231] Me too.

[1232] by myself.

[1233] It's been a long time since I did what you do now, which is like you go to movie to movie to movie.

[1234] But there's like this wonderful novel aspect that I really liked and maybe a fantasy about who I'm going to be in Australia for six months.

[1235] That's kind of fun.

[1236] I'm going to go down there and I'm going to surf or whatever the fuck you told yourself.

[1237] Sure.

[1238] Yeah.

[1239] That part right is all romantic and fun.

[1240] And then also like you're alone a lot.

[1241] You're spending a good chunk of your life with people that you may or may not see ever again, which is its own weird thing.

[1242] There's like loneliness attached to it, I think.

[1243] There's always loneliness.

[1244] It's like you have to really want to do it, right?

[1245] Because there's not a lot of other things other than that want that passion that will keep you in a hotel or alone away from your family.

[1246] It's the rush, right?

[1247] Like, I don't think I'd be, I'd find myself in a position I don't want to be in, but there's sacrifices to this lifestyle.

[1248] It's not necessarily attributed to just these projects, but this is what I've kind of been going through, even the My Vag days, going to Tacoma to play a show by myself, things like that.

[1249] So it's like, yeah, it's isolating.

[1250] You get used to that, though.

[1251] I also just want to mention that you have your own show, Nora from Queens on Comedy Central.

[1252] If you had to say, like, what you're getting the most satisfaction out of the process, is it like the Marvel movie or is it doing your own show?

[1253] You've got to sample a lot of different fun things now.

[1254] And I'm wondering which one you're finding most fulfilling and which one you want to pursue going forward the most.

[1255] I find most fulfilling the ability to move through spaces that are really different, projects that are really different, adapting to them and not feeling like because I'm EPing my show that I can come on to a movie and act like I'm the EP, right?

[1256] Yeah.

[1257] Yeah.

[1258] It's like that humility and knowing your place.

[1259] And for my show, it's just really special because I'm able to understand what goes behind it.

[1260] Because as an actor, you could be doing tons of movies.

[1261] You don't know what's going on back there.

[1262] Yeah.

[1263] It's a lot.

[1264] I just want to learn more about that process.

[1265] But I imagine you see yourself as a creator of stuff, not a utility player that I call you and I plug you into something.

[1266] It sounds like you probably want to be a part of shaping a perspective.

[1267] Yeah, I don't mind being the call me and plug me in sometimes.

[1268] I think that's how I got here.

[1269] Yeah.

[1270] It's how you buy an apartment.

[1271] right right but it's also if the phone stopped ringing would I just wait or what I could generate my own content and would always be I would self -generate my own content oh my god the last thing I have to say I just have to say it before I go the other stereotype I found myself confronting while watching you on Saturday Live in particular was I think what some of us older actors have where it's like wait this person's a YouTube person like they right and so I was like what does that mean in my head.

[1272] Why do I even?

[1273] Why do I hate that?

[1274] Yes.

[1275] Why would I care if somebody got popular from YouTube or not?

[1276] And then I was really thinking about it.

[1277] And I was like, yeah, why is there more pride in having gone into a room and read in front of somebody and that person gave you an opportunity?

[1278] Versus like I'm at home.

[1279] No, I'm going to give myself an opportunity.

[1280] Like I should admire the YouTube trajectory into this industry far more than I do like move here, wait for someone to call you, then go into a room with 80 people and do your thing.

[1281] It's just so weird.

[1282] I even, had that residual braddiness, I guess.

[1283] It's an age thing, I think.

[1284] Yeah.

[1285] I mean, if you're saying that about YouTube, you probably used it differently than a lot of the early kind of creators.

[1286] They used to call YouTube Asian Hollywood because Asian people were like blowing up on there.

[1287] Yeah.

[1288] And they were in a place where they really had no place in mainstream media.

[1289] It was all there.

[1290] So I think for some people, it was needed.

[1291] I mean, I love that technology.

[1292] I blessed that technology, right?

[1293] And I would have been using it nonstop.

[1294] I made videos.

[1295] I just had to show them at the groundlings.

[1296] There was no outlet for me to show these videos.

[1297] But for some reason, I'm like, wait, this person's in their room.

[1298] And now I'm going to read against them for a role.

[1299] There's like a knee jerk.

[1300] Oh, new technology thing, I guess.

[1301] But when I really broke it down, I'm like, oh, it's way more admirable to have created your own thing and not waited for anymore.

[1302] Well, I mean, before you say all that, I'd still have to do the other stuff.

[1303] Yeah.

[1304] Yeah.

[1305] I also think we're at a point.

[1306] We interviewed Selma Hayek and she was like, I was looking around just wondering why the executives weren't recognizing that there was 40 million customers sitting in the U .S. that no one was making content for as a Latina.

[1307] And I was having that same thought about knowing I was going to interview you, which is like, yeah, people have been out to the lunch on the fact that there's like this enormous market to be catered to that has just been ignored.

[1308] If you had no other motivation than that, it seems like it would make smart business.

[1309] I dig you.

[1310] Yeah.

[1311] I think you guys.

[1312] You're very cool.

[1313] You're very smart.

[1314] It's so encouraging you know you did shitty in school because you're so fucking smart.

[1315] I think people would, if you've got a kid that sucks at school, like they.

[1316] It doesn't mean.

[1317] It doesn't mean shit, really.

[1318] No, it doesn't at all.

[1319] You're doing just fine.

[1320] You're in England visiting friends.

[1321] I mean, who gets to do that.

[1322] Thank you.

[1323] So waiting for that lover.

[1324] It's been awesome meeting you.

[1325] I hope you take on an English lover.

[1326] And I hope I get to meet you in real life.

[1327] I want to see the five foot two of rolling thunder coming at me. You know, with that tuba.

[1328] I would have that tuba coming at you.

[1329] I loved it.

[1330] I had a really good time.

[1331] Thank you.

[1332] So cool.

[1333] Take care.

[1334] Bye, Monica.

[1335] Bye.

[1336] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1337] Oh, I loved her.

[1338] Me too.

[1339] I loved her.

[1340] She's so cool.

[1341] We have a great job.

[1342] We get to fall in love with all these people every week.

[1343] I know.

[1344] Tell me about it.

[1345] Carmelo Anthony.

[1346] Matt Damon.

[1347] Matt Damon.

[1348] Bill Gates.

[1349] William H. Gates.

[1350] How was your trip?

[1351] Tell us about your trip.

[1352] Oh, man. It was perfect.

[1353] Thursday to Monday in Michigan on all sports Cooley Lake.

[1354] Little tiny cottage rented.

[1355] Aaron and I were there the whole time.

[1356] You know, the house had a pontoon that we could rent, which we did.

[1357] Yes.

[1358] And so we were on like every single day.

[1359] We went out to the swim bar.

[1360] What's a swim bar?

[1361] Sandbar.

[1362] where we're like the lake shallow.

[1363] Mine did that whole lake shallow.

[1364] That's another.

[1365] I think it was only like three feet deep.

[1366] I was a little concerned.

[1367] I would have felt great and safe there.

[1368] You would have, but I was more like, is this a flooded parking lot?

[1369] Uh -oh.

[1370] Here's what happened.

[1371] We pulled up for the first time to the sandbar and we're standing at the edge of the pontoon.

[1372] I said to Weekly, is that five feet deep or two feet deep?

[1373] He was like, I can't tell.

[1374] And I jumped in and guess what?

[1375] It was about 20 inches deep.

[1376] I just jumped and landed like up to me. Thank God it was sandy under you.

[1377] underneath.

[1378] Yeah.

[1379] And then, of course, we theorize because it's called All Sports Cooley Lake.

[1380] Every time we would get an Airbnb reminder that our trip was approaching, it would always say, your vacation on all sports Cooley Lake is in five days.

[1381] And so once we saw how shallow it was, we thought, oh, maybe they mean all sports is like, you could probably ride a motorcycle through there.

[1382] It would just be up to the gas tank, play baseball, skateboard.

[1383] We were thinking one of some dudes and some razors just ripped out to the sandbar.

[1384] That makes sense.

[1385] Yeah.

[1386] And then we got really excited that Maybe they were going to host a truck pole while we were there, our Munster truck jam.

[1387] Ooh.

[1388] Yeah.

[1389] We came to think of it as more like a state fairground, all sports coolly like.

[1390] That's cool.

[1391] And a lot of chili dogs, cony dogs.

[1392] And, yeah, it was just, it was perfect.

[1393] That's a ding, ding, ding.

[1394] Because, you know, you had your story about Pink's hot dogs and there was hot dogs.

[1395] And then today, my chef, her video was hot dog party.

[1396] Oh, my God.

[1397] Do you think they're having a moment, hot dogs?

[1398] Yeah, they're coming back.

[1399] I mean, they never left, but they might be coming back.

[1400] Like, really thriving right now.

[1401] And it made me want one.

[1402] You should have some.

[1403] Yeah.

[1404] I ordered 10 hot dogs from Chicago for our camping trip.

[1405] Oh, you did?

[1406] Have you been to Portillo's?

[1407] Oh, baby, I live at Portillo's.

[1408] You do?

[1409] There's one in Anaheim.

[1410] Yeah, yeah.

[1411] What's Portillo?

[1412] It's a Chicago hot dog and sandwich joint.

[1413] And, like, Italian beef.

[1414] Oh.

[1415] It's really good.

[1416] The dogs come, you know, with, like, cucumbers, peppers, you know, Chicago style.

[1417] Yeah.

[1418] Tomatoes.

[1419] Manease.

[1420] Poppy seed bun.

[1421] Tomatoes?

[1422] Well, tomatoes, yeah.

[1423] Oh, tomatoes.

[1424] Tomatoes.

[1425] You don't like that?

[1426] Not on a hot dog, no. No, no, no. When the three of us were in the Chicago airport, I had a couple of Chicago dogs, and I got them loaded to the gills.

[1427] Do you remember that?

[1428] You don't.

[1429] No. That was a really special trip to the airport for me. Shoot, I don't remember.

[1430] I don't remember that at all.

[1431] I have zero memory of us being at the Chicago airport.

[1432] What did we do that?

[1433] We've been four times.

[1434] four times, four times of the Chicago airport.

[1435] Yeah, because we had a live show in the winter time, so we flew in, flew out, and then we were back there in the summer.

[1436] Well, I have no memory of that.

[1437] Oh, my gosh.

[1438] Now, I'm not going to accuse you of having a bad memory.

[1439] I think you have a great memory.

[1440] Thank you.

[1441] You're welcome.

[1442] And your nails look great.

[1443] You can't backpedal on that.

[1444] That's over.

[1445] That's done.

[1446] But I do have a horrible memory now.

[1447] I can own that.

[1448] and I don't like it, but I have to accept it.

[1449] What?

[1450] That I have a bad memory.

[1451] Oh, that you have a bad memory.

[1452] It's really bad.

[1453] It's gotten so, so, so bad.

[1454] And it's because of my long cold.

[1455] My long cold is affected by...

[1456] Yeah, we both have a long cold, which is not long COVID, but it is long cold.

[1457] It's not long COVID because we've gotten lots of tests, but we've had a cold for like a month.

[1458] Cold is long time for sure.

[1459] And it's a long cold.

[1460] I got to go back to the nails for one second.

[1461] No, the nails didn't go well.

[1462] It didn't go well at all, but I just thought of something that I would really have responded to.

[1463] Okay.

[1464] This is a peace offering.

[1465] Okay.

[1466] This is my olive branch.

[1467] Maybe if I were you, I would have said, like, great, you're right.

[1468] And who cares, Dax, if someone's nails are like.

[1469] Oh, that's your peace offering?

[1470] Well, I just, I can admit who cares?

[1471] I've come to the point where I recognize it's absurd that I even care.

[1472] No, if I were you, you ought to have been like, okay, all your points aside, also who cares?

[1473] Why would you care if someone has long nails?

[1474] And then I have to admit, why would I care?

[1475] Okay.

[1476] You know?

[1477] Well, you're telling me why you care, because it's slowing you down.

[1478] But then I can also step back and go, is that really something I want to care about?

[1479] And then I can turn a switch off in my head where I'm like, I no longer care about that.

[1480] Okay.

[1481] Like I made my little point.

[1482] And also who gives a fuck.

[1483] Yeah, it makes people feel good.

[1484] Yeah.

[1485] I want people to feel good and pretty.

[1486] And like they don't have to work.

[1487] They, uh, I'm teasing.

[1488] That was a little joke I slid in.

[1489] Yeah, but it was too soon.

[1490] Yeah.

[1491] It's not, when you're doing an olive branch, it's not the time.

[1492] Put mud all over your olive branch.

[1493] It's covered in mud, the olive branch you gave me. Okay.

[1494] I tried.

[1495] I'm sorry.

[1496] Okay.

[1497] Oh, I got to add one thing.

[1498] Okay.

[1499] About nails?

[1500] No. Okay.

[1501] I'm all done with nails, and yours look beautiful.

[1502] And I don't give a fuck what the history is.

[1503] What do I care?

[1504] Generally, when Aaron's out here, I treat him like a little prince.

[1505] He's my little prince boy, as you know.

[1506] This trip, Aaron treated me like a little prince.

[1507] He did.

[1508] He cleaned up everything.

[1509] He did all the dishes.

[1510] He prepared food.

[1511] He packed up the whole car when we left.

[1512] Wow.

[1513] He was like on it.

[1514] That's good.

[1515] I liked being pampered by him.

[1516] It was nice.

[1517] Yeah.

[1518] It's like when the sun grows up, you know, the sun takes over.

[1519] The sun becomes the dad eventually as I get into diapers and whatnot.

[1520] I know.

[1521] Yeah.

[1522] Diapers are another thing.

[1523] People wear to prove they're rich.

[1524] They're like, I can afford these diapers.

[1525] I don't even have to go to the toilet.

[1526] That's what that means, definitely.

[1527] So my grandmother has a broken arm.

[1528] How'd she do that?

[1529] Because obviously she was taking my grandpa's diapers out.

[1530] I know.

[1531] And she fell down, not very far.

[1532] Her bones just shattered.

[1533] Oh.

[1534] So does she have to have surgery or just a cast?

[1535] She has to have surgery.

[1536] Does she need me to come down there?

[1537] No. Because if they're just screwing screws in, I can do that.

[1538] No. Okay.

[1539] We're going to go with a MD.

[1540] I wouldn't trust myself with her anyways.

[1541] See?

[1542] Yeah.

[1543] Yeah.

[1544] Yeah.

[1545] I might take this moment of only.

[1546] And pray on her.

[1547] No. I might.

[1548] Okay.

[1549] I might see a door opening.

[1550] That's disgusting.

[1551] Well, she needs some reassurance.

[1552] She's probably feeling vulnerable.

[1553] She definitely doesn't need.

[1554] I don't think what she needs is more impact.

[1555] Oh, geez.

[1556] Well, and that's how I'm going to offer.

[1557] I'm going to offer her super gentle granddaddy kisses and play with their hair and stuff.

[1558] Ew.

[1559] Whatever she likes.

[1560] Oh, my God.

[1561] I'm not trying to get in there and rode around.

[1562] Oh.

[1563] Yeah, because it's so crazy for me to think that.

[1564] It's not crazy.

[1565] I'm just telling you that that's not my intentions.

[1566] My intention is just to give her some, like some tingles, like our hairplay, gentle kisses on the eyelids.

[1567] Oh, boy.

[1568] What?

[1569] It's just the idea of you doing that to my grandma is making me feel squirmy.

[1570] Oh, my God.

[1571] That's interesting because the idea of you doing that to my Papa Bob would make me so happy for him.

[1572] Yeah, but it's because you're a little bit of a predator.

[1573] Oh.

[1574] Is that what it is?

[1575] Yeah.

[1576] Oh, okay.

[1577] But if you did it to my Papa Bob, you wouldn't be a predator?

[1578] No, I'm not a, no, I'm like not a predator.

[1579] Like, you already want to go back in time and do stuff with my grandma.

[1580] Like, you've already said, I haven't said anything about wanting to do anything with your Papa Bob, other than meet him.

[1581] Okay, but you're right.

[1582] If I bump into 35 -year -old grandma.

[1583] I know.

[1584] See, this is why.

[1585] But that's not what we're dealing with here.

[1586] We're dealing with Grandma who's had a setback.

[1587] Yeah.

[1588] And she needs to be propped up a bit.

[1589] Yeah, but if you're giving her kisses on her eyelids, like, you're, you're, you're, We're going to get sexual.

[1590] Well, listen, that's up to her.

[1591] No. Have you seen Stella got her groove back?

[1592] No. Me neither.

[1593] But I think this is the same thing.

[1594] And I want to give your grandma her groove back.

[1595] Oh.

[1596] I'm really sad about it, actually, but.

[1597] I know.

[1598] I have this terrible.

[1599] You just don't know how to.

[1600] I can't deal with it.

[1601] I know.

[1602] You don't know how to deal with that, and that's okay.

[1603] You know what's funny is, or I don't know if it's funny, but I think what's really going on is, I actually don't even think about the other people in these stories.

[1604] And I think it prevents me from dealing with death.

[1605] All I'm thinking about is the person telling me this who's sad.

[1606] Right.

[1607] That's why they're telling me it.

[1608] And then I just have this uncontrollable compulsion to cheer them up.

[1609] Yeah.

[1610] And then I don't always do it right.

[1611] Well, no, it is.

[1612] It's a really lovely sentiment.

[1613] But sometimes, you know, sometimes people, I mean, I don't know.

[1614] Also, it's great to laugh when you're sad.

[1615] So that's good.

[1616] Humor's good.

[1617] Yeah.

[1618] Humor's good.

[1619] Like a friend of ours was telling us a story, sad story of a, a, classmate that had died in a vehicle accident in high school.

[1620] Yeah.

[1621] And you said, who hit them?

[1622] Was that what your question was?

[1623] I said, were you there in the car maybe?

[1624] Right.

[1625] You said, were you in the car?

[1626] Yeah.

[1627] And I said, no, he was driving the other car.

[1628] Yeah.

[1629] And that was a really good joke.

[1630] Okay.

[1631] So I don't know whether I should do those anymore.

[1632] I guess this is the part that I bump up against.

[1633] Tell me. Yeah.

[1634] It's what I worry about or what I feel sometimes, I sometimes I'm like, is he even listening or he's just looking for?

[1635] I'm panicking.

[1636] Well, I'm telling you the truth.

[1637] When you call me and you're sad about your grandma, I'm panicking.

[1638] Like, I got to fix.

[1639] I got to cheer her up.

[1640] I know that's making it way too much about me, but I'm just, that's what's going on in my head.

[1641] It's like, fuck, my little buddy's sad.

[1642] Yeah.

[1643] Maybe this will make her laugh.

[1644] I know, which is, again, it's so sweet.

[1645] It's just, I get nervous that then you haven't really heard it and you just were looking for the joke.

[1646] You found the joke.

[1647] You said the joke.

[1648] And then you pat yourself on the back for the joke.

[1649] So it's a whole thing.

[1650] Well, you just said it was a really good joke.

[1651] That one I definitely high -fived myself because I thought it was real good.

[1652] I didn't think any of the ones I made about your, you know, baby kisses on your grandma's eyelids were that good.

[1653] Those aren't good.

[1654] I'm not going to pat myself on the back about those.

[1655] Okay.

[1656] All right.

[1657] Or that people display their wealth by wearing diapers.

[1658] That's not a really funny joke.

[1659] I mean, I laughed, I think.

[1660] I don't remember.

[1661] I don't remember.

[1662] I just, it's sad.

[1663] It's hard to watch people get old.

[1664] It's really.

[1665] It's a bummer.

[1666] Yeah.

[1667] There's something wrong with me. I can't let myself think about it.

[1668] It's so, I guess it's a block.

[1669] You're protecting yourself.

[1670] Yeah.

[1671] That's okay.

[1672] You know, they might die.

[1673] And then what do you?

[1674] going to say to me when I call you and say, you know, my grandma, I don't even, I can't, I can hardly even say it.

[1675] Right.

[1676] You know, what if I have to say that to you?

[1677] You're going to make a joke.

[1678] Do you know what I'm going to say?

[1679] Okay, I got to go.

[1680] I'm going to kill myself so I can go be with her in heaven.

[1681] Oh, no. Yeah.

[1682] Oh, no. She doesn't believe in heaven.

[1683] She's, oh.

[1684] Where's she going?

[1685] I guess she would be, she'd be reincarnated.

[1686] Yes.

[1687] Yeah, so she might.

[1688] As a 40 -year -old?

[1689] Find you, yeah.

[1690] Can she be reincarnated like middle -aged?

[1691] I can't wait 18 years and I don't even want to have sex with an 18 -year -old once she's 18.

[1692] I need her to be like 30 -something.

[1693] I don't know.

[1694] She might not be a human.

[1695] She might come back as something.

[1696] Oh.

[1697] A dolphin.

[1698] Oh, God.

[1699] Dolphin asparagus.

[1700] Maybe all roads, this has all been leading to your, I'm going to have a little swim one day in the Bahamas.

[1701] And I'm going to see a beautiful dolphin.

[1702] Do you get to keep any body part when you're reincarnated?

[1703] Like, will her eyes be the same so I can recognize her?

[1704] Oh, good question.

[1705] I don't know.

[1706] Can I tell you my issue with reincarnation?

[1707] Sure.

[1708] Mathematically.

[1709] Sure.

[1710] If you go back, you know, 400 years, the world population was like 100 million people.

[1711] So if those people died and they're like reincarnated is, what happens is there's not enough people to be reincarnating all the creatures.

[1712] You know, there's just been such an explosion.

[1713] of creatures that I don't understand how it maps out with, like, the original 10 ,000 people who were going to get reincarnated.

[1714] How did that grow up of $7 billion?

[1715] That's the part that doesn't.

[1716] I guess some are new, right?

[1717] Like, a reincarnated person, a reincarnated snail has sex with another reing.

[1718] I don't know how their organs were.

[1719] But, yeah, they have sex with another reincarnated snail.

[1720] And then they make a new snail.

[1721] That's a new guy.

[1722] No, don't they just make a snail that another new dead person's about to occupy?

[1723] I think sometimes they're new.

[1724] Okay, that's weird.

[1725] So that's part of it.

[1726] So some things are new and a lot of things are reincarnated.

[1727] God, I just don't know enough.

[1728] We need an answer to that because that could alleviate the whole problem.

[1729] And sometimes you don't get, like, at some point you ascend far enough and you're done.

[1730] Where are you at then?

[1731] Dead.

[1732] Just permanent blackness or some fun.

[1733] plain.

[1734] No, I think you're just dead.

[1735] Dead after that.

[1736] You're dead.

[1737] I can't live in a world where I don't, like, spend some time with your grandma in her prime.

[1738] I can't accept that.

[1739] That's the world we live in.

[1740] You don't have to accept that.

[1741] You can believe whatever you like to believe.

[1742] Yeah.

[1743] Okay.

[1744] Whatever makes you happy.

[1745] Okay.

[1746] Henry and June movie.

[1747] She said, the dad, she thinks Adam, Sandler's dad in another movie.

[1748] Perfect.

[1749] And Fred Ward plays Henry.

[1750] Okay.

[1751] And Uma Thurman plays June.

[1752] Fuck yeah.

[1753] Great June.

[1754] Yeah.

[1755] How many Asian people have hosted SNL?

[1756] So this is in 2019, and there have been six Asian or Asian American hosts in the show's history.

[1757] But Aquafina is the first Asian woman to host SNL in 18 years.

[1758] She was.

[1759] Right behind Lucy Lou.

[1760] And then Sandra O has done it now since.

[1761] We didn't talk about this, which I thought was cool, because I know she talks about it in every other interview.

[1762] I thought it was cool that you didn't talk about it.

[1763] But her real name is Nora.

[1764] Yeah, I didn't want to do that.

[1765] Yeah, I know, which I think's cool.

[1766] Oh, thank you.

[1767] I had watched so many interviews with her beforehand, and it just seems so fucking laborious for her to have to keep talking about.

[1768] Yeah.

[1769] Who gives a flying fuck?

[1770] Here's her name, Uncle Fina.

[1771] Right.

[1772] I guess for me, the only reason it was notable is because her show has her real name in it.

[1773] And I didn't know that her name was Nora.

[1774] So when I heard that...

[1775] You were like, why'd she pick Nora?

[1776] I was just like, oh, that's her show.

[1777] But then it made more sense when I knew it was her name.

[1778] Okay, so I wrote this down.

[1779] This isn't a fact, but it's interesting.

[1780] She talks so much about identity.

[1781] Uh -huh.

[1782] And she was saying even with beauty...

[1783] Oh, my God, that was Matt.

[1784] Fucking Matt Damon's fucking with me?

[1785] Yeah.

[1786] Come on, bud.

[1787] We have a big large cutout of me and Matt, Damien now in the attic.

[1788] Wow, wow, wow.

[1789] This is your world world is passing through it.

[1790] Have you noticed yet?

[1791] Yep.

[1792] Anywho, identity.

[1793] And she was talking about beauty and it reminded me that I love beauty videos.

[1794] And all I do to wind down is watch beauty videos, Vogue beauty secrets.

[1795] Sometimes I watch what did blah, blah, blah, eaten a day.

[1796] I get down radicals.

[1797] Meaning like some actor?

[1798] What did an actor eat a day?

[1799] What did Aquafina eat in a day?

[1800] Oh, wow.

[1801] I would watch that.

[1802] I want to know.

[1803] Have you, like, drilled down into what about it appeals to you?

[1804] I have like a old operating system still that I've had since I was much younger.

[1805] That's like a little voyeuristic.

[1806] Okay.

[1807] Yeah.

[1808] Where I like escaping into somebody else's life.

[1809] I mean, fantasy life.

[1810] Yeah.

[1811] So I still have a little bit of that.

[1812] When I'm watching people do their beauty routine and stuff, it's almost like I'm like that.

[1813] I like seeing what other people's lives are like.

[1814] Ah.

[1815] But would you be able to watch it with non -celebrities?

[1816] Would you be as interested in as like Jane from Oklahoma doing her makeup?

[1817] Well, I'm more interested in the skincare, but yeah.

[1818] Whatever the thing is you watch, if you swapped out a normal.

[1819] I don't know.

[1820] I don't, I guess it would depend on if I thought they knew what they were doing.

[1821] Uh -huh.

[1822] If I thought they - Beautiful.

[1823] No, no, no. They don't have to be beautiful.

[1824] But like if they've like done research on the stuff, then I would.

[1825] But not just any person.

[1826] I imagine that these people that I'm watching, they have like facials.

[1827] So they have tricks and tips.

[1828] I'm also in in the market for tricks and tips and shopping.

[1829] Right.

[1830] And especially with the food ones, I get really like, oh, wow, they have this smoothie in the, you know, then I start thinking, like, I'm going to do that.

[1831] Right.

[1832] And then I don't.

[1833] Yeah.

[1834] And I don't think they do either, to be quite honest, but that's okay.

[1835] I'm trying to think if I do anything that's the equivalent of that.

[1836] I guess I watched guys on my Instagram do stunts on things.

[1837] Yeah.

[1838] Like stuff on motorcycles.

[1839] There's a group of guys.

[1840] It's kind of a movement that did not exist 20 years ago.

[1841] go where guys on Harleys now are doing a lot of stunts.

[1842] And there's guys on full dressers like saddlebags, the whole accoutrema, riding these fucking 12 o 'clock wheelies on these 800 -pound motorcycles.

[1843] Wow.

[1844] And I look at it and I just go, I'm not brave enough to do that.

[1845] And any time I see something I'm not brave enough to do, I'm innately interested in it because I'm just afraid.

[1846] And I like to watch things I'm afraid of.

[1847] God, I hate to bring it.

[1848] back to the nails.

[1849] Tell me. But don't you think that's incredibly impractical what they're doing and silly?

[1850] Oh, completely.

[1851] But it doesn't point to a character defect.

[1852] Laisiness and resting on wealth to me is a character defect.

[1853] I think it does point to one.

[1854] I think it points to recklessness and having no satisfaction.

[1855] Oh, wow.

[1856] Yeah.

[1857] that's a cruel interpretation it's the exact same as cheerleading no it's the exact same as cheerleading it's ultimate control over one's body and it's impressive right no like i would look at your state champ cheerleading video clearly an adjective i could use would be reckless but that's not a negative thing for me because something's reckless what decides if it's reckless or not or is whether they land that wheelie or you get caught by those people.

[1858] And when they land that wheeling, you get caught, you go, it wasn't reckless.

[1859] They have the fucking skills.

[1860] And it's so impressive.

[1861] Okay.

[1862] So the beauty videos, she talks about, like, in her house, there was like witch hazel and, like, glutamine powder.

[1863] And that's so strange.

[1864] But it's so funny because those are in now.

[1865] Oh, yeah, yeah, glutamine powder.

[1866] Yeah, and witch hazel.

[1867] Like, everyone uses witch hazel.

[1868] It's such a great product.

[1869] Oh, it is?

[1870] Yeah.

[1871] But it's just so funny, these things that you're like, ugh, like this is different, they can end up making their way into the zeitgeist.

[1872] Yeah.

[1873] I've been having that realization lately as I'm reading people's books, generally guests we have.

[1874] Quite often, I think, like, the job isn't even necessarily to be novel, but a big job is just to keep reissuing these truths we've learned over the last 3 ,000 years.

[1875] And people aren't going to go read a book from the four years.

[1876] So if they found something real clever in the 40s, someone in 2021's got to put it in a package we will then consume.

[1877] So sometimes you're just trying to keep the knowledge we already have alive, I think.

[1878] Yeah.

[1879] That's all.

[1880] That's everything?

[1881] Yeah.

[1882] Is Aquafina someone, I know you don't want to be anyone else.

[1883] But when you think of people that you wouldn't mind being, is she one of those people?

[1884] Of course.

[1885] Yeah.

[1886] I mean, I want to be friends with her.

[1887] Yeah.

[1888] She's awesome.

[1889] You must admire her, like, hustle and her.

[1890] Big time.

[1891] Big time.

[1892] Yeah, I do a ton.

[1893] Yeah, I like that you came around on the YouTube thing.

[1894] Yeah, I was wrong.

[1895] I like seeing it for really what it is, which is hustle.

[1896] Totally.

[1897] It's even beyond that.

[1898] It's more admirable because it's like they're not waiting for anyone to tell them they can do what they want to do.

[1899] I love that.

[1900] And I think she made a really good point, which is for a lot of minorities.

[1901] That's the only entry in.

[1902] Yeah.

[1903] Yeah.

[1904] So good for her.

[1905] her.

[1906] Yeah, it's a great story.

[1907] Great story.

[1908] I love you.

[1909] Your nails look beautiful.

[1910] I don't want you to say that again, because you're lying.

[1911] I just want you to be friends with me. Well, I'll think about it.

[1912] I'll dust off the mud off the olive branch, and I'll think about it.

[1913] I love you.

[1914] I love you.

[1915] Bye.

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