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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Welcome to a mini episode of my favorite murder.
[17] Yes.
[18] This is the podcast.
[19] mini podcast the mini version of the larger podcast where we read you shit and we talk about true crime and we commit to never planning the opening of any podcast that we that is our guarantee to you we're going to go out into that question mark and then keep it a question mark you can get we guarantee you we guarantee you that we will never know what we're going to say and i believe that you'll believe us when we guarantee you that really quick i just want to say time wise i know this is going to go up at a totally different time but for us it's still the day after the press conference of them catching the golden state killer i am i would say only 15 less 15 percent less excited than i was yesterday and like i can't stop looking for information it's driving me fucking bad shit so what's the one piece of information that one day later you're excited about oh there's so much oh that photo that you sent me this morning.
[20] Yes.
[21] Someone, it looks like someone screen grabbed and it's, I'm so mad at myself because I was watching the ID four part.
[22] What is it called?
[23] It's Golden State Killer.
[24] It's not over.
[25] But they got to cross that out and be like, it's fucking over.
[26] They have to be like, here's five more episodes because here's the continuation.
[27] Definitely.
[28] Someone screen grabbed just a really quick shot of a fucking, what is it called?
[29] Not a fresh conference.
[30] Town Hall meeting.
[31] Yeah.
[32] Side by side.
[33] It looks like him 100 % in at the meeting that you sent me it's on our Twitter yeah someone made it I think someone made it on the Facebook page first and then someone saw it on the Facebook page and sent it to us on Twitter but retweeted that it's very important that you know every step I just never want to take credit for something that's not ours right but we don't want it so much that we're going to write your name down on a piece of paper I certainly won't but the cool part about it or like the thing that I I couldn't stop looking at that picture because this is a person not who looks like we I was looking right it's not someone who's trying to keep their head down right or has the right hair swoop you know nothing like that but my point is his energy is as if he's at a campfire yeah he's taking up all kinds of space he is like there's you can see he it looks like he's happy to be amongst his fellow man he has a yellow shirt on which is almost like a look at me fucking thing yes and he doesn't seem he's he's playing it so perfectly of you would Never look at that guy.
[34] Yeah.
[35] And he looks intense.
[36] He looks like he's listening intently.
[37] Yeah, but slightly smiling.
[38] Like, when you look at that picture of his face, he looks happy in that picture.
[39] Plus, Ma Anon Shila is in the foreground of it.
[40] Who also looks a lot like my friend Alicia Gonzalez, who used to live in Sacramento.
[41] She has that same face.
[42] Conspiracy.
[43] Could it be that my friend's mother is actually Ma 'an Shila?
[44] There you go.
[45] Who was at the fucking Golden.
[46] sitting next to the Golden State Killer.
[47] Yeah.
[48] That's not so weird to see adults from the 70s sitting across, like on the floor.
[49] Yeah.
[50] It's like, remember when your mom or dad would sit on the floor with you and you'd be like, this is weird?
[51] I have to say, I don't think my mother ever sat on the floor.
[52] No. She was always in some kind of a chair with a high ball in her hand.
[53] It's like three in the morning.
[54] She is like, girls, I'm tired.
[55] Could you play somewhere else?
[56] Right.
[57] It was always how it was.
[58] Well, I have a Golden State Killer, quick one.
[59] Hell yeah.
[60] But should we save it for the end?
[61] or should I just get out of the way right now since we're talking about it out of the way right because it's not like you know but we're not we don't have a lot of like good ones yet because it's all so new it's all to come to come to come yes so this is called the golden state killer is my customer you fucking guys please don't use my name I work for the phone company for citrus heights and when the news broke yesterday about d 'angelo I knew he sounded familiar turns out all caps I disconnected his home phone in August oh what Once I found out the street name and saw the news coverage right outside the house, I went total stalker mode.
[62] I Google mapped the street and clicked through until I found his house an address, because duh, and then searched it in our system.
[63] He's been our customer since 1987.
[64] He called to have his home phone turned off, and I remember him wanting it turned off immediately.
[65] But we have to ask questions for his reason for disconnecting.
[66] My notes say, someone is listening to my calls, and I just don't want it anymore.
[67] Oh, my God.
[68] Do you think that he was even bugged in August?
[69] Well, I don't, either he was super paranoid.
[70] Yeah.
[71] Or he was bugged and he knew it.
[72] I bet he was super paranoid.
[73] And also being an ex -cop, he would know what cops do and can do.
[74] Or what it sounds like when your call is being traced.
[75] Click, click, click.
[76] Click, click.
[77] And then he says, you guys, I talked to this guy for 20 minutes and had no idea it was him.
[78] Well, obviously.
[79] Right.
[80] How could you not know?
[81] S -S -D -G -M.
[82] Wow.
[83] Okay, can I say this?
[84] What if he needed to get his phone disconnected because that's the fucking phone he was calling and harassing victims with?
[85] Yeah, totally.
[86] And they were going to trace it back to him.
[87] But also the idea is like the phone line, the history of the phone line still exists.
[88] That's such an odd way to go like, oh, I can't call anymore, therefore no one's going to, it's like they'll know you had it.
[89] Well, we do have a neighbor who's writing about how her daughter babysat.
[90] the daughters in the 80s so hopefully she'll write in too oh wow yeah we'll see i mean yeah that's the other crazy thing too he's still alive which means there's all kinds of connections oh the one thing i did want to say which somebody else tweeted and people were talking about um about oh because because someone posted the article from the huffington post of the woman who wrote about how hard it was because her father was a serial killer and how right awful it was for her and so um yeah just that and when the person posted that they were just like the families are victims too absolutely everybody needs to keep in mind because you know there's tons of people going to the house and of course there's looky lose everywhere but it's like but you have to remember there's people in that neighborhood people inside that house like it's you know no they're totally victims and people always want to be like how did you not know you had to know it's your fault for you didn't want to know but it's like you know no one would know that no one's like me who's suspects every single person around her as a fucking pedophile murderer.
[91] Well, and also we know that sociopaths and psychopaths are the perfect.
[92] They are the, the wolves in sheep's clothing.
[93] They know exactly how to trick everybody, especially the people closest to them.
[94] It's Jacqueline Hyde.
[95] So standing way back and being like, how could you not know?
[96] It's like, get out of here.
[97] Okay, you go now.
[98] Okay.
[99] I'm going to start with an oldie.
[100] Okay.
[101] This one's fascinating.
[102] The subject line is mom tight.
[103] JFK's murder report hello Georgia Karen Stephen and pets when JFK was president my mom was a 21 -year -old badass working as a secretary for the FBI nice I mean I can just see her dress I can see it's like a light green dress with white piping she looks great she is it's summertime matching little bollo jacket yes and some it's like green flats with like a little thick heel at the bottom yeah a nice chunky kind of a quarter inch feel sensible sensible but still feminine yep um she was such a fast oh sorry back then uh that was the only job that was the only type of job a woman could get with them with the FBI uh she was such a fast and competent worker that she quickly rose through the ranks and was given a high security clearance hell yes bobby kennedy used to come and sit on the edge of her desk and eat candy from a bowl that she had there bet bobby did um Bobby um one sorry that's such a great visual it is um on the day jf k was assassinated she was actually off from work she was getting her incredible 60s hair set at the beauty salon but as she stepped outside she saw a woman nearby suddenly scream and drop her grocery bags all over the sidewalk mom rushed over and saw the news reports which were airing on tvs in the store's window display.
[104] Wow, that's so cinematic.
[105] She immediately ran the five blocks to the FBI building.
[106] She knew it would be all hands on deck.
[107] Eventually, she was told to go home and rest up that she would need it.
[108] A few days later, she was taken by an FBI agent to an interview room and given several pages to type.
[109] She was one of five typists working on the report.
[110] Not 100 % sure of the number, but it was something like that.
[111] And the agent with her would bring her a section of the report, then she'd type it, give it back to him to proofread, and then correct any mistakes he found.
[112] He would then leave the room and come back with a new section for her.
[113] All these sections were provided out of order so that not one typist knew too much.
[114] After more than 24 hours, she finally finished and went sent home.
[115] She was so exhausted that she fell asleep on the bus and would have missed her stop if the driver hadn't known her and woke her up.
[116] So 60s.
[117] To this day, she has never told anyone what she typed.
[118] No, tell us.
[119] Even now, with some of it becoming public record, she won't say.
[120] She signed an oath to never reveal the contents, and she is too sexy to break it.
[121] Later, she received a letter signed by J. Edgar Hoover and President Johnson thanking her for her service to her country in its hour of need.
[122] She got it framed and keeps it buried in her closet.
[123] What the fuck, Mom?
[124] Put that thing over the fireplace.
[125] It says that in parentheses.
[126] Why don't you tell your mom that?
[127] Yeah.
[128] Just go upstairs.
[129] She also received invitations to the next several presidential inaugurations, though she never went.
[130] I fucking love this woman.
[131] Also, as a part of her training to work for the FBI, she had to go to charm school.
[132] Yes, you heard me and no, I'm not making it up.
[133] Walking with books on your head, learning how to sit properly, knees together, bitches, and cross your ankles.
[134] Only hose cross the whole leg.
[135] And then there's two laughing face emojis with tears.
[136] They were just some of the many skills that she had to acquire.
[137] That's so nuts.
[138] she was also there during M .OK Jr.'s famous speech, wow, and attended many state dinners and government functions.
[139] The story she tells are both funny and fascinating.
[140] I've told her many times she should write a book about what it was like to work for the FBI and to be in D .C. during that period of time, but she can't believe anyone would be interested in reading it.
[141] You are wrong.
[142] Mom.
[143] Can't wait to see you again in Atlanta, SSDGM, Tracy.
[144] Oh my God.
[145] Can we get her mom on stage to tell her literal home?
[146] hometown murder and finally reveal what she wrote this the idea that she won't break an oath that the information of which is now public record online makes me fucking worship that one yeah that is so that's what it's supposed to be about yeah you fucking you make a promise sorry I made a promise I would have told everyone by now I can't keep one fucking piece of information in my mouth one never tell me anything no I'll either forget it or I'll tell everybody I just don't yeah Yeah.
[147] It's just how I am.
[148] Secrets are stupid.
[149] I mean, it's more fun to know shit.
[150] It's so much more fun to tell shit and talk about shit.
[151] Yeah.
[152] All right.
[153] Here we go.
[154] This is called, my mom was manipulated into cleaning up a crime scene.
[155] Oh, no, by you.
[156] This is a really funny one.
[157] My brother, uh, da, da, da, my brother always said my mom was born to be a mother.
[158] What a great opening line.
[159] No hello or anything, but my brother always, no, I guess.
[160] Yeah, we're in.
[161] No, we're in.
[162] I like it.
[163] When we both moved out, she downsized to a townhouse across town and became the mother to the world.
[164] She was constantly giving neighbors rides, cooking them dinner, and having long conversations about their hopes and dreams.
[165] I need her in my neighborhood.
[166] This is a mom episode.
[167] One day she was driving back home and she saw a man smoking beside the row of townhouses.
[168] She got out and introduced herself because she doesn't believe in the cardinal rule to fuck politeness.
[169] The man said he was the older brother to one of her neighbors and he was there to settle his affairs as he had committed suicide the night.
[170] before.
[171] My mother, knowing everyone in the neighborhood was besides, was, my mother knowing who everyone in the neighborhood was, was asked if there was anything she could do.
[172] He told her no, but he had just wished his mother didn't have to see the scene inside.
[173] My mom asked why no one had come to clean up the scene, and he told them that they didn't provide that service to suicides.
[174] My psycho mother went down to her house, grabbed her gloves, buckets, and cleaners, and returned.
[175] She told me she could never have prepared herself.
[176] for the scene inside.
[177] After she was done, she returned home and went about her life as if she didn't mop up blood and brains off the floor a few hours ago.
[178] Shortly after, the cops came knocking.
[179] Apparently, this suicide was never reported and was a murder.
[180] The victim had no brother.
[181] Oh my God.
[182] When the cops asked her why she had aided the man in cleaning the crime scene, she simply told them she thought his mother was coming and no mother should ever have to.
[183] to see something so gruesome my mother was eventually cleared of having anything to do with the murder and was given the compliment that she had done a great job disposing of the evidence stay sexy and don't mop up crime scenes jojo oh my fucking god that's that is so insane but it like nothing about that even i didn't see that coming at all that that i didn't see that coming at all that i I'm sorry, but the guy smoking in the car is kind of a genius.
[184] Because you would, if you say, like, my brother committed suicide, you're not going to sit there grilling the person on like, diddy.
[185] Yeah.
[186] You're immediately going to be like, let me help you.
[187] Let me help you.
[188] That's so terrible.
[189] That person, like, totally played her like a fiddle.
[190] I wonder who he was.
[191] I mean, besides it's from a murderer.
[192] Aside of, you know.
[193] Also, well, that's a good thing for everybody to know.
[194] They do send, you know, when things have.
[195] happen, go ahead and let the authorities get involved first.
[196] And if they don't, there's a company you can hire to do that.
[197] And the reason is nobody, it's a very traumatizing probably.
[198] Yeah, it's not for neighbors to do.
[199] No, this isn't a fucking broom and swiffer situation.
[200] This isn't, you don't need your house to be broom swept.
[201] God damn.
[202] That's so heavy.
[203] Okay.
[204] Okay.
[205] Hey, this is exciting.
[206] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[207] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[208] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[209] Who killed Saz?
[210] And were they really after Charles?
[211] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[212] This season, murder hits close to home.
[213] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[214] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[215] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[216] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[217] Get ready for the starry -est season.
[218] in yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Davey, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[219] Only Martyrs in the Building premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[220] Goodbye.
[221] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[222] Absolutely.
[223] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?
[224] Exactly.
[225] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[226] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[227] That's right.
[228] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[229] Give your point of sales system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[230] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[231] So give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[232] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[233] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.
[234] Connect with customers in line and online.
[235] Do retail right with Shopify.
[236] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[237] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[238] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[239] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[240] Goodbye.
[241] The subject line for this is, it turns out my dad wasn't having an Fair, a Drew Peterson hometown.
[242] Oh, dear.
[243] Hi, Georgia, Karen, and Steven.
[244] I was listening to last week's minisode and I got so nervous that I missed out on the chance to share my hometown story.
[245] When I was young, maybe seven or eight, my dad would occasionally take me over to this woman, Nancy Peterson's house.
[246] It seemed super sketchy to me because they were always in another room.
[247] They were, uh, they were always short visits and would leave me in a room to hang out with her daughters who are younger than me. Eventually her kids would leave and then my dad would come and get me and we would go home.
[248] Naturally, I just assumed my father was having an affair because I watched too many soap operas and had an act of imagination.
[249] Oh, my God, I love it.
[250] That's really funny.
[251] In my defense, I also thought my mom was having an affair with her chiropractor because I saw him rubbing her back all the time.
[252] You're a little per.
[253] Yeah, exactly.
[254] That was the one you were right about.
[255] That was the one.
[256] Well, eventually this stopped, and I never really thought anything of it until later when I was in my 20s, stories started coming out about Drew Peterson's fourth wife going missing.
[257] My dad casually brings up our visit to Nancy's house in front of my mom.
[258] I was like, dad, shh, mom can totally hear you.
[259] And he was so confused.
[260] He explained to me that the reason we used to go to Nancy's house was that she was going through a divorce with Drew Peterson's brother and Drew would come over and harass Nancy and her kids.
[261] And my dad worked with both Drew and Nancy.
[262] So he would be there to keep Drew in check.
[263] Since my dad and Drew were both police officers, he knew that Drew wouldn't start shit in front of him.
[264] Oh, my God.
[265] Clearly, I wasn't giving my dad enough credit, thinking that he was cheating on my mom instead of being a good guy and protecting this woman and her kids.
[266] My mom and dad both thought it was hilarious and made fun of me for hiding their affairs.
[267] Yeah.
[268] Which is really funny.
[269] Thank you, ladies, for all you do.
[270] The way you talk about anxiety and therapy helps decrease the stigma of mental health issues and makes the world a better place, one murderina at a time.
[271] SSDGM, Sarah.
[272] Well, Sarah, you just made the world a better place.
[273] That was very...
[274] I guess I think I would be pissed at my daughter if I was like, you suspected this thing and you never told me?
[275] You wouldn't be proud that she's not a snitch?
[276] Absolutely not.
[277] Snitches get candy.
[278] Oh.
[279] Oh, that is.
[280] Oh, if you had it wrong.
[281] This whole time.
[282] That sounds more right.
[283] You're right.
[284] But how weird would it be if you were eight?
[285] And you're just like, mom, I need you to sit down.
[286] We have a, turn the TV off.
[287] We have to have a talk.
[288] I'm like, you're my favorite.
[289] I love you.
[290] There's so much better than your brothers and sisters.
[291] All right.
[292] Should I do one more?
[293] Do it.
[294] Okay.
[295] This one's, I won't tell you the name of it, but it says lighthearted.
[296] Okay.
[297] Hey, Stephen, Georgia, and Karen.
[298] Then it says, in parentheses, I'm not really an animal person.
[299] Love the podcast, and I can't wait to see you in Dublin in May. I'm from Connecticut, but I'm currently studying abroad in Ireland.
[300] So, in the early 60s, my great uncle and great aunt were newlyweds living in Boston while my uncle attended Harvard med school.
[301] Aren't you smart?
[302] At the same time, the Boston Strangler was in full swing.
[303] Between 1962 and 64, 13 women between the ages of 19 and 85 were raped and strangled to death, usually by their own, by their nylon stockings, by the Boston Strangler.
[304] The murders took place in the women's apartments, and since there was no sign of 4th century, it was assumed that the women let the strangler in, either because they knew him or because they thought he was a delivery man, delivery maintenance man of some sort.
[305] Yeah, listen to the Stranglers podcast, right?
[306] Yeah.
[307] It's really good.
[308] It is.
[309] All right.
[310] So one night, sometime in the midst of the Strangler's active years, my great -uncle and great -aunt were watching TV before they went to sleep.
[311] The news reported another murder that they suspected was done by the Strangler, and my great -a -and -maid made a comment about how horrifying the crimes were.
[312] That's when my great -uncle decided to turn to her, look her in the eye, and say, Pat, I have something to confess.
[313] I'm the Boston Strangler.
[314] I know.
[315] My great aunt freaked the fuck out, completely believing him.
[316] My great uncle immediately realized he had made a grave error, recanted his, quote, confession, and started frantically explaining my great aunt all of the reasons why he could not possibly be the Boston Strangler.
[317] She eventually calmed down, but she said that they slept with a light on that night.
[318] Thankfully, the real killer ended up confessing, and my great uncle and great aunt are still happily married today.
[319] Stay sexy and don't falsely confess to murder, Caroline.
[320] line.
[321] Caroline, you know that a lot of people think that the guy they arrested, was it?
[322] Yeah.
[323] DeSalvo.
[324] Albert DeSalvo.
[325] They think he, they think that it isn't real.
[326] He definitely killed at lay debt.
[327] They got a DNA match on at least one of the murders.
[328] Oh, is that true?
[329] But it's pretty common knowledge that there are multiple killers.
[330] Doing the same thing.
[331] All using the nylons around the neck.
[332] Like coffee cats, maybe.
[333] Yeah.
[334] So, but that's why you should listen to the, podcast is so great.
[335] I really loved it.
[336] Some of those, the details of some of those crimes are so disturbing and fucked up.
[337] And it's like, yeah.
[338] It's so hard to hear with like little old ladies.
[339] Not that like fucking young women with their lives ahead of them aren't hard enough.
[340] It's all hard.
[341] Yeah.
[342] Every time you listen to one, it's hard in its own way.
[343] It's especially hard.
[344] Is that all we got?
[345] I think that's how we have.
[346] All right.
[347] Well, that was like quite a minisode.
[348] A lot of packed.
[349] There's a lot of people aren't given secrets away, a lot of badass moms.
[350] A lot of snitches.
[351] A lot of bitches.
[352] Thanks for listening.
[353] Send in your hometown whatever you'd like it to be.
[354] We're taking all information.
[355] Yeah, my favorite murder at Gmail.
[356] And stay sexy.
[357] And don't get murdered.
[358] Goodbye.
[359] Elvis, you want a cookie?