181 - Live at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee (2017)

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Oh, hi, Milwaukee.

[2] Hi, Milwaukee.

[3] Holy shit.

[4] Wow.

[5] I just would like to say that we were not directly informed how large this theater was by our people.

[6] Nope.

[7] So just in casual conversation upstairs with the lovely people who work here, we were like, sorry, what's that again?

[8] How many seats did you say?

[9] Oh, my God.

[10] This is the most nervous.

[11] Like, I'm shaking.

[12] Yeah.

[13] You can tell I blew my own hair out, huh?

[14] You can see I'm shaking, and you can see my cuticles are still fucked up.

[15] Probably.

[16] Yeah, let's get a close look on this.

[17] Oh, no. And in one of those, you can find a dressing room that actually shows you your own butt.

[18] Have there ever been 2 ,400 people there when you looked at it?

[19] Yes.

[20] Oh, really?

[21] Yeah.

[22] What store is that?

[23] Um, we love this.

[24] We, we, so, oh, we want to let you people in the second, the second balcony know.

[25] That's right.

[26] Yeah.

[27] We're going to go through each area and have you shout for yourself.

[28] So just wait, just wait.

[29] Um, but first.

[30] It's haunted on that row.

[31] Yeah.

[32] We asked the lovely Sasha, who's like, the manager here, and she's so wonderful.

[33] And I was like, isn't haunted here?

[34] Which is like such a dick thing to ask someone.

[35] And she's like, uh -huh.

[36] It's like, really tell me everything?

[37] And so she was saying one night, she was closing on stage, alone in this entire fucking theater, can you imagine?

[38] And she was like, okay, bye to the audience.

[39] Like, that's kind of her thing, which is adorable.

[40] And then she's like, then a woman walked by in the second row and left.

[41] She said dress, long blonde hair.

[42] Gray or blonde?

[43] Assuming blonde, but I'm sure it was white and wispy.

[44] Yeah.

[45] And what?

[46] And what did she do?

[47] Halfway, she walked across and then turned and looked at her and then kept going.

[48] How's it going up there?

[49] Kind of cold?

[50] Does everyone cold all the sudden?

[51] Freezing cold?

[52] Oh, no. It's just a fun start.

[53] Yeah.

[54] So let's turn all the lights off here, everyone.

[55] Do you want to show everybody your outfit?

[56] Oh, sure.

[57] Just do a quick walk across?

[58] Yeah.

[59] Look that.

[60] Breezy, easy to pat.

[61] Yeah.

[62] I know.

[63] Yeah, let's see yours.

[64] Thank you.

[65] Thanks.

[66] Mine, it's not supposed to stick to me like this.

[67] You have a lot of static electricity in the air.

[68] I was hoping for more of a billowy, less clingy situation.

[69] But who cares?

[70] I mean, right?

[71] There's nothing we can do at this point.

[72] No. I think we've both given up at this point, wearing shoes that are not given up.

[73] I mean, yeah, that are not.

[74] phrase.

[75] It's not given up, but I am wearing clogged boots with a dress, so, you know.

[76] You pull it off.

[77] I'm not.

[78] I just can't with the heels.

[79] I have the best intentions when I pack.

[80] I'm like heels and spanks and a bra and then I'm like, fuck you.

[81] And a big wig.

[82] Huge earrings and a lip plate.

[83] She really tries.

[84] I don't.

[85] I do.

[86] So we drove here today from Indianapolis.

[87] We did last night show.

[88] because I insulted them once until we had to go there.

[89] Pretty good slam.

[90] We have to go to a lot of places then because, my God.

[91] We have a lot of apologies to make to the nation.

[92] The apology tour.

[93] Yeah.

[94] It should be.

[95] We got everything wrong.

[96] If we didn't mispronounce it, then we just were rude.

[97] That's great.

[98] Yeah.

[99] And we, this is like, I lost my mind when I realized we could do this on the way.

[100] We were in the minivan, seriously, and, like, Vince was, like, doing the dad driving thing, which is, like, he's so responsible, and it was, like, fun.

[101] We were all talking, and then I see a sign, and I'm, I didn't think of this, and this has been my dream for so long.

[102] There was a cracker barrel.

[103] I lost my mind, right?

[104] It was as if we drove by Diamond Disneyland for Georgia.

[105] It was like, and I actually, we're both from California, so we've only heard of Cracker Barrel referenced in like movies and TV like it's it's kind of it is kind of sounds fictional to us like go down the cracker barrel or whatever it's like okay ha ha and i've scrolled like i look at food photos all the time and so like i've scrolled through cracker barrel hashtag instagram for hours hours because it's so my kind of food and then we went and it was it was exactly what I man it was so good I mean I have a hash -brown casserole to beat the bit.

[106] I mean, our waitress told me to eat my vegetables.

[107] I'm not kidding.

[108] She shamed us.

[109] She was like the sweet little, maybe racist grandma.

[110] We don't know.

[111] You don't know.

[112] You're right.

[113] And she walked by and she's like, how are the vegetables?

[114] Because you could tell we hadn't taken a single bite of them.

[115] We're like, oh, we're going to eat them.

[116] Sure, absolutely.

[117] Barb, that was her name.

[118] Barb.

[119] She came back by again.

[120] She was like, are you going to try it?

[121] Yes, I will.

[122] And then she said to me, when she was clearing my plate, let me get those out of your waist, and I don't put your elbows in them.

[123] And I realized my elbows were on the table, and she was like, we got schooled at Cracker Barrow, ladies and gentlemen.

[124] I was like, well played, though.

[125] I tipped her really well.

[126] That's what I want at a restaurant.

[127] Tell me how to live, please.

[128] Yes.

[129] I need it.

[130] Yeah, she was, that place was, I lost my mind.

[131] Also, we were doing that thing in the gift shop that you do when just excited in general.

[132] We're just like, oh my God, look at this.

[133] But it's just like a wind chime you could get anywhere.

[134] But we're just like, George, I'm going to buy you this.

[135] I want to give this for my nephews.

[136] And you're like, I traveled here.

[137] How will I get this home?

[138] Yes.

[139] I was going to buy my niece Nora rocking chair.

[140] It was not a good plan, but I was excited.

[141] Carry on.

[142] Yeah.

[143] And then you don't even need to buy a seat on the plane.

[144] That's right.

[145] Just fucking right there in the aisle.

[146] No drink service on this one.

[147] Sorry, everybody.

[148] Oh, and then a cat gets out of its carrier And it's a whole, like, Cracker Barrel Kathy Cartoon It could be fun if we did a Cracker Barrel only tour And we all ate What about that?

[149] We all eat We have some fucking dumplings Limea beans.

[150] I got Limea beans.

[151] I'm 100 years old.

[152] She was eating her, she was eating her lime beans And she goes, there's bacon in these.

[153] Like it was like the bacon was super cute.

[154] Because in California, they would tell you that because people are vegan, and so they wouldn't just not tell you.

[155] Yeah, you can't just, bacon is never assumed in California ever.

[156] You've got to declare.

[157] A vegetable, and then they're just throwing bacon in.

[158] Yeah.

[159] It's good for you.

[160] You know how many fucking high school, like, I'm vegetarian now.

[161] Kids have, like, lost their mind there.

[162] You know, like, there's nothing I can eat on the menu.

[163] Like, shut the fuck up.

[164] And their parents are like, pick the bacon out.

[165] Pick the bacon now.

[166] Eat around it.

[167] Eat around the bacon if you don't like it.

[168] You'll be done with this in three months.

[169] Pick it out.

[170] That was good.

[171] We also stopped at a travel oasis, which truly was an oasis.

[172] What a gorgeous idea you all had to build an anti -an's pretzel store over a freeway.

[173] Thank you.

[174] I had an ice cream cone because I'm always.

[175] also five, even though I'm also 100.

[176] And it was that thing of, it was like, oh, we've got to get ice cream here at McDonald's.

[177] We can't get it anywhere else, but here the travel oasis.

[178] When am I going to have a vanilla cone at home?

[179] Never.

[180] No, it's never going to happen.

[181] No, it's never going to be driving.

[182] There's one last thing about the travel oasis.

[183] I was just going to say, we had just finished at Cracker Barrel.

[184] I had the cornflake oven baked chicken, thank you.

[185] I can be reasonable sometimes.

[186] Again, my kale salad, Barb told me, ate it, and the casserole I already riffed on.

[187] I had eaten that maybe nine minutes before, and we walked in, and I was like, I should probably get a pretzel, though.

[188] I probably just, because we're driving, and what if we get stuck, and it did?

[189] It's so bad.

[190] I'm suddenly really self -conscious that I had lipstick on my teeth, and you guys could see it.

[191] Just like when Chaudet was on SNL that time, and she had lipstick all across certie?

[192] That's for the 40 -year -olds.

[193] What's up?

[194] Yeah.

[195] That's a lot of you.

[196] Don't think about that fucking screen at all.

[197] You just can't.

[198] There we go.

[199] Don't do it.

[200] You just got to squint a little.

[201] Uber, tell me. Just don't turn your head to say.

[202] Oh, so, look, Stephen has been doing my travel planning.

[203] Is that for travel or for Stephen?

[204] It's for Stephen.

[205] Yeah.

[206] He's not here.

[207] I know.

[208] Sorry.

[209] That was like it was scripted and badly done.

[210] It was like...

[211] Half of the people leave, but no, I was going to...

[212] She's angrily storming out.

[213] She was only here for Stephen.

[214] Oh, my God.

[215] Mention Stephen.

[216] Oh, Stephen's not here.

[217] Yeah.

[218] Then bring him out.

[219] No, sorry, that's not going to happen.

[220] And then it's...

[221] Just kidding.

[222] God, let's do that one time.

[223] Yeah, we have to.

[224] Oh, my God.

[225] We have to.

[226] It's on our writer that we need a six -foot black table cloth so we can surprise people with whatever we want.

[227] It's a tiny crackerel barrel.

[228] Okay, so Stephen planned my travel, and Georgia planned her own travel, so we ended up at different hotels, which is super weird, and it makes it look like we're Fleetwood Mac and we hate each other.

[229] That's what I would think if I was like, oh, she's staying there, and she's, uh -oh, must be bad.

[230] I'm just really controlling and can't leave anything up to anyone else because I'll have a panic attack if anyone does anything wrong.

[231] And I'm exactly the opposite of that.

[232] If I have to do it, I'm like, I can't do it.

[233] I didn't end up going on that tour.

[234] Because I can't open that page on TravelPedia or whatever.

[235] So, driving from Indianapolis, you don't know this, driving from Indianapolis to Milwaukee, the time changes.

[236] Oh, yeah.

[237] Backwards?

[238] Yeah, an hour back.

[239] No, I'm telling you.

[240] Backwards?

[241] So that took us a bit to process.

[242] We go upstairs, I start working on my murder.

[243] I mean, just so you know, it means the world to me, but I can't actually type it down until like 45 minutes before we come to the theater.

[244] It's a mental issue.

[245] We keep thinking the hairdressers and makeup artists who are like, well, do your makeup for the tour, for the show.

[246] and we're like, you don't understand how 10 minutes before we get here we're screaming in our hands.

[247] We'd love to take people's offer.

[248] Like, we'll blow out your hair.

[249] Come down to Diana's salon or whatever and we're like, bitch, are you crazy?

[250] We're going to go sit in a salon for an hour before this shit happens?

[251] Sorry, I was strong.

[252] Cut to the chase, I kept assuming that the time on my phone was incorrect.

[253] Okay.

[254] Forgetting that, of course, the phone's smarter than me, and it's already caught up to what time it is and really had no problem with it, because it really isn't that big of a deal.

[255] So I kept looking at my phone to check the time and going, but I also have an hour.

[256] But I also have an hour.

[257] So when I finally put it together that I did it wrong, I had five minutes to take a shower and get ready, literally five minutes.

[258] So I end up running downstairs.

[259] They got me, they got me a car to drive me over here from my hotel, which is, very close.

[260] So I run downstairs with wet hair, no makeup glasses, but also this outfit, which is kind of shocking looking.

[261] And I run through the lobby and outside.

[262] No one's there.

[263] I call the number I have for the car place.

[264] And the loveliest one is like, oh, honey, he's standing in the lobby waiting for you.

[265] I'd run past him.

[266] I'm kind of a way.

[267] It kind of wet -haired panning.

[268] He's like, thank God that's not.

[269] Oh.

[270] He's like, who.

[271] I don't have to deal with that weird crackhead that just ran by him.

[272] Oh, no, you do.

[273] You do, Steve.

[274] Get out here.

[275] So Steve comes out, lovely smile, wonderful man, very tall.

[276] And he's like, you're going to get right in here, opens the door.

[277] I get into this insanely beautiful, like, fancy BMWs.

[278] Very nice.

[279] car.

[280] And we essentially drive around the block kind of a little bit.

[281] We just took a little tour.

[282] And then he pulls down the thing and he comes and opens the door for me. And I look over and there's two women that are standing across.

[283] Was it you guys?

[284] And they're standing there just on the sidewalk.

[285] And I get out of the car like fucking Rihanna.

[286] Holy shit.

[287] If Rihanna was super not pulled together at all and Irish and they're like, hi, like that.

[288] And I go, oh my God, I don't have makeup on or anything.

[289] And I just run away.

[290] Bye.

[291] So hi.

[292] What I meant to say was, hi, how are you?

[293] Thank you for, thank you for waiting on the sidewalk.

[294] Nice.

[295] She's not as nice as she seems on the podcast.

[296] she's really superficial about makeup in real life well I got here all made up in a like really old Honda Civic so oh she's pissed no I'm good I don't have errors you know what I mean like I just want to seem like a normal person you're super grounded no that's true you're the one that's grounded in real you're the Christine McVee of the situation for sure okay yeah I'm also realized that one of the reasons I'm shaking is because we We, the fucking green room in this place.

[297] Guys, if you can figure out a way to play here, I would do it.

[298] Yeah.

[299] We go backstage sometimes and it's like, here's, there's like Trident and like a coffee pot if you want to make coffee and like bottles of water.

[300] If you brought coffee.

[301] Yeah, totally.

[302] And then we go back there and I'm like, is this a restaurant?

[303] It's just like a restaurant looking thing.

[304] Yeah.

[305] And they're like, here you go.

[306] And whoever, like, they're a murderino because they set up the whole place.

[307] place to look like a crime scene.

[308] There was a, yep, there was a body drawn on the ground with tape that said victim on the side of it.

[309] And there were like evidence bags on every table that correlated to the serial killer picture that was on the wall, the guys, the local serial killer.

[310] It was like, it was crazy.

[311] What if it actually had been a crime scene?

[312] We're just like, this is amazing.

[313] They're like, don't take it down.

[314] What do you mean?

[315] We don't know what your podcast is about.

[316] Please don't step there.

[317] Don't step there.

[318] Now our GNA is everywhere.

[319] George walked me up to the wall with the art installation of serial killers on the wall.

[320] And we're, like, looking at it.

[321] And then she's like, and this correlates to that or whatever.

[322] And then I just felt this thing of like, I'm getting more and more nervous.

[323] So I'm like, oh, I don't like this at all.

[324] This is expectation.

[325] We're way up here.

[326] We don't do that well.

[327] Oh, my God.

[328] But also, listen, we're not bragging.

[329] We're just, we are as amazed as you are.

[330] There was a barista.

[331] What the fuck?

[332] I can't even get someone at Starbucks to fucking smile at me. I mean, a barista.

[333] Alex, thank you for really over -caffeinating us.

[334] Yes.

[335] I feel good.

[336] I feel great.

[337] This is going to be good.

[338] Right?

[339] Yeah.

[340] For real.

[341] Very cool.

[342] I'm also.

[343] And then, shall we sit down?

[344] Is it time to sit down?

[345] Oh, yeah.

[346] Let's sit down and then.

[347] Okay.

[348] Yeah.

[349] Is it time to sit down?

[350] Yeah.

[351] Thank you.

[352] That's a nice chair.

[353] What that really means is, are we sick of standing?

[354] Yes.

[355] This is...

[356] This is a nice...

[357] This is quality.

[358] Yeah.

[359] Oh, Jesus.

[360] This might be a room and board chair.

[361] I don't know with that.

[362] Ooh.

[363] Yes.

[364] So last night in Indianapolis, someone gave us backstage, someone gave us these, like, really fucking sweet, thoughtful presence.

[365] They gave us me a travel.

[366] mug that had a Siamese cat on it, and it was, I was so sweet, and I brought it on stage out as my, like, drink, and I was like, I'm going to bring this.

[367] This is going to be my new thing.

[368] I'm going to bring it.

[369] It's going to be my show mug, because Elvis is here, and I fucking forgot it already.

[370] Already, I walked out the hotel room.

[371] It was like, oh, shit.

[372] That's just how I am like that.

[373] My plan that I declared to the public is over.

[374] In one, fuck.

[375] And then when we were first traveling, I was like, I'm going to put a note in every Bible in every hotel, remember?

[376] Is it that?

[377] Oh, yeah, that's right.

[378] I did it.

[379] I did it.

[380] I did it.

[381] I did a I don't have follow -through.

[382] It's not my thing.

[383] You got to pick something that you can do.

[384] Like a podcast?

[385] Yeah.

[386] There you go.

[387] Got anything else?

[388] We also got cupcakes that had our faces on it, which is pretty weird thing to eat your own face.

[389] I'm just saying.

[390] But very on brand.

[391] Yeah.

[392] So that's true.

[393] It is true.

[394] Should we read Should we tell some stories?

[395] We're going to tell you some murder.

[396] This is, I mean, if you're into that.

[397] Oh, this is my favorite murder with Karen and George.

[398] By the way.

[399] Okay, I'm first tonight, right?

[400] You are first tonight, yeah.

[401] Because, oh man, you guys.

[402] You got a lot to choose from.

[403] Yeah.

[404] You have a real Pacific North West competition going on with your Yeah, well there's so many highways, is what they call them, interstates?

[405] Fiveways?

[406] Byways?

[407] Highways, byways.

[408] Just to us, we just kept when we were driving, we were like, there's so many places.

[409] Vince was very fucking uncomfortable with this.

[410] There's just so many places to hide bodies off the road.

[411] Yeah.

[412] Like, look over there.

[413] It's just a line of trees.

[414] You could just put a body in now and ever...

[415] You'd never find it.

[416] You didn't know what tree you left it under.

[417] Unless you wanted them to be found, And then you can just put them right there.

[418] And Vince is like, uh -huh, yes.

[419] He's like, uh -huh.

[420] Oh, poor guy.

[421] Oh, I watch wrestling for him, so we're even.

[422] No. Okay.

[423] Okay, so the one I've picked from you guys is David Spahnbauer.

[424] Does you know him?

[425] Okay.

[426] There were some legit gasps in the front row, third balcony, just so you know.

[427] People are genuinely surprised up here.

[428] Yeah.

[429] I guess no one wants to cheer for him.

[430] No. Right?

[431] I wouldn't.

[432] It's kind of a bummer.

[433] Okay.

[434] Okay.

[435] So David Spanbauer, did you find this guy?

[436] Did you see this guy?

[437] No. Tell me all about him.

[438] I love true crime.

[439] Do you?

[440] Oh my God.

[441] That's crazy.

[442] David Spanbauer was born.

[443] January, 1941 to a Catholic family in Oshkosh.

[444] You point at me. Whoa.

[445] What?

[446] That's him as a child.

[447] actually.

[448] 1941, so he's like two or three there.

[449] He's a perfect looking guy to do the old Hey, why the long face?

[450] Joke.

[451] Oh, yeah.

[452] Like, what is he going to become a fucking librarian?

[453] You know, of course he's a murderer.

[454] Sorry, like...

[455] And then here's someone on Twitter.

[456] I found them to be very anti -face problematic.

[457] Judgmental superficial negative.

[458] Mm -hmm.

[459] Don't shame.

[460] Okay.

[461] Face shame.

[462] Don't face shame.

[463] He dropped out of high school after her 17th birthday, joins the Navy, gets court -martialed for being absent without leave, and spend seven months in the brig, which you know has got to be a bummer.

[464] Yeah.

[465] And then is dishonor...

[466] The brig, sorry, but I do picture the brig to be filled with, like, half a foot of water all the time.

[467] Oh, yeah.

[468] Dank.

[469] Right?

[470] There's, like, sea horses and starfish and shit.

[471] Your own waiting pool.

[472] Is that one been in the Navy?

[473] I might be thinking of the Little Mermaid.

[474] I'm sorry.

[475] Thing of bobs and what's -its?

[476] Oh, no. He's dishonorably discharged in 1959.

[477] That's how much the Navy will fuck you up.

[478] Jesus, Santa Claus.

[479] 17.

[480] That scared the fucking shit out of me. I feel like Stephen's doing this to us on purpose.

[481] Cool, okay.

[482] And then you can hold the photos, I'll fucking tell you.

[483] The rest are real depressing.

[484] So, yeah, so this fucking ace.

[485] The naval doctors tell his mom that he needs psychiatric care and send a letter to her telling her this, but nothing is done, and then I wrote, because ignoring is the best policy.

[486] After he returns to Oshkosh at 19 years old, he begins his life of crime.

[487] In January 1960, he broke into a home in Appleton, and he stole a bunch of shit, including a 22 handgun.

[488] I feel like that's going to come back later.

[489] You think?

[490] Yeah.

[491] It's actually, it's going to come back in the next sentence.

[492] Oh.

[493] That quick time.

[494] Don't have to wait.

[495] That's nice.

[496] A night later, he robbed another house in Nina with a 22, with the same 22 caliber.

[497] With that 22 caliber guns?

[498] Remember we talked about that a sentence ago?

[499] Same one.

[500] That's called a callback.

[501] Karen's like, if this is good writing, we're going to talk about this gun again.

[502] And I'm like, oh, I didn't put it in any, um.

[503] A week later, still in Appleton, he broke into a home where the mother was asleep and in another room while her 13 -year -old daughter studied.

[504] A mask, he was masked, he enters the house, steals some cash.

[505] Masked?

[506] Yeah.

[507] Oh, I know.

[508] He flashes a pistol at the girl and halls her outside, and he says to her, I'm going to rape you.

[509] And she says, what does that mean?

[510] No. I know.

[511] But the girl screamed and attracted attention, and a person came over and he ran off.

[512] Thank you.

[513] You guys are.

[514] Then, that same evening, January 12th, 1960, Carol Grady, she's a 16 -year -old girl babysitting her cousins.

[515] And he is lurking outside, watching through the window, the stolen pistol.

[516] He enters the house, takes some cash, and then he rapes her.

[517] Yeah.

[518] Then her uncle unexpectedly comes home, and he shoots him in the face and gets the fuck out of the house.

[519] Whoa.

[520] Sorry, Longface shoots the uncle.

[521] Uh -huh.

[522] Okay.

[523] Oh, yeah, sorry, I didn't make that clear.

[524] That was a real roller coaster of emotions, wasn't it?

[525] No, stay down there.

[526] Yeah, it's just...

[527] It's going to be hard the whole time, just so you know.

[528] The roller coaster is not done sinking.

[529] It just goes straight down.

[530] Yeah, that's all it is.

[531] It's one of those, you know those rides that are a pole, and then they drop you a little, and they drop you a little, and then you're like, go back, I'm going back up, and then they just fucking plunges you.

[532] That's the story.

[533] And this one is actually broken, so we're all going to plummet into the ground together.

[534] Okay.

[535] This one curses a lot and has a little bit of a lisp.

[536] So, okay, rapes her, kills the uncle.

[537] I think he kills him.

[538] I didn't really, it didn't say.

[539] And then.

[540] Well, shoots him in the faces.

[541] Yeah, you're not going to.

[542] About a month and a half later during an attempted robbery in Milwaukee, when questioned by police, he breaks down and tells them everything.

[543] Oh.

[544] Yeah.

[545] That was short?

[546] No. Okay.

[547] Yeah, and then he goes to prison forever like he's supposed to, and everyone is fine.

[548] Yeah.

[549] At the age of 19, Spahnbauer is tried in a Wisconsin court, the judge labeled him as a sexual deviant and sentenced him to 70 years in prison.

[550] But in May, 1972, after just 13 years in prison, he's paroled, and he has a tattoo of a devil on his forearm at that point, which is, yeah.

[551] That's kind of on the nose.

[552] No, it's on the forearm.

[553] Oh, oh, oh.

[554] Thank you.

[555] Had to.

[556] Nice.

[557] Good go.

[558] Nice.

[559] That's what you do in a 2 ,400 C theater.

[560] So this is so fucked up.

[561] During the summer of 1972, it's a prison work release program, and they put them in city parks and beaches to work.

[562] Fun.

[563] Yeah.

[564] And it's in the middle of the fucking summer, and there's a bunch of college co -eds.

[565] And he tells a psychiatrist, since he's having sexual frustration because of all the girls around and it just is ignored.

[566] August 11th, 1972, he drove to Token Creek Park and picked up a hitchhiking 17 -year -old waitress on Highway 51, brandishing a knife.

[567] He told her he was going to rape her, and when he was through with her, he would run her over with his car and toss her body in a ditch.

[568] She started crying.

[569] He started crying.

[570] What?

[571] It would be great if then a picture came up of him crying.

[572] So he rapes her, but then he lets her go.

[573] And then she told police that the man had a tattoo of the devil on his form and ID'd him in a suspect lineup.

[574] But, oh, okay.

[575] He insists that they had consensual sex, and he's found guilty for abduction and rape.

[576] An assistant district attorney, John Burr, asked for the maximum sentence of 50 years on top of what he would receive for violating his parole.

[577] but in a turn of events you guys ready to rage cry stupidity at Judge Richard Bardwell reasoned that the rape was much more mild than Spahnbauer's previous rape you're like is there a photo up because of no this is and I want to say it's the 1970s but like yep okay yeah this is I usually just talk to you about this in room alone yeah this is okay the one where he so he said the judge figured he was moving from being a very dangerous sex offender now to merely just dangerous so there's been some improvement this is a this is a judge in a court and or is this a guy in a long black shirt back behind the gas station like what the fuck kind of thinking especially after the lawyer is like please give him the maximum yeah my professional opinion is give him the maximum yeah and he's like you know what I'm gonna go ahead and Here's how I'm going to interpret the law.

[578] Right.

[579] Like a goddamn idiot.

[580] All right.

[581] Sorry.

[582] No, you're.

[583] So, here's where it gets the most fucked up.

[584] So he receives a sentence of 18 years in prison on the new charges, but the judge allows the sentence to be served concurrently to his Brown County sentence.

[585] So he's released in 1991.

[586] Great.

[587] Perfect for everybody.

[588] Yep.

[589] He's, you know, he's just a very, he's just kind of dangerous now, so we're here.

[590] Fresh out of prison, August 23rd, 1992.

[591] He kidnaps 10 -year -old Ronnell Eichsted while she's riding her bike.

[592] You can put that photo up if you want to make everyone cry.

[593] Oh.

[594] Yeah.

[595] Her bicycle was found near her rural home in Fondalak County, and her body is found six weeks later in a cornfield ditch near Town Hill State Park near the river, Wisconsin -Roc.

[596] River.

[597] Then on Labor Day, September 5th, 1922, 12 -year -old Cora Jones was riding her bike on Sanders Road near her grandma's house in Dayton Township.

[598] So her body is found five days later.

[599] Then almost two years later, on the 4th of July, 1984, 24 -year -old Marianne Starihah was riding her bike on a county road near Hartman Creek when a maroon Pontiac bangs into her bike and she crashes.

[600] He emerges from the car, and then another car comes down the road, and he got the fuck out of there, which is good.

[601] And then he is fucking burglarizing and raping and just being just a piece of shit.

[602] His devil tattoo is just throbbing and lighting up red.

[603] Yeah.

[604] We've done it.

[605] So then on November 14, 1994, Jared Argyll went to his home in combined locks and discovered a man breaking into his house.

[606] He gave chase and tackled and wrestled Spanbauer into submission, and when the police arrived, they arrested him on burglary charges.

[607] Whoa.

[608] This guy fucking ran after him.

[609] What was his name again?

[610] Yeah, Gerald Argyll.

[611] Nice.

[612] Jerry!

[613] This does end on a...

[614] I gave it a positive spin at the end, so it's okay.

[615] Yours is really funny, too, right?

[616] So we're going to...

[617] Well, in custody, police noticed the tools in his car matched the two home invasion rates.

[618] that had happened earlier that fall, the police kept their interrogations, and after four days, he confesses to kidnapping and killing the two little girls, and he is found guilty for first -degree intentional homicide, and then Jones and Eichsted murders and guilty on all other counts, and was given a total of 403 years.

[619] Oh, shit!

[620] Yeah.

[621] Yeah.

[622] And this was in the 90s, so it was like 25 years later.

[623] Yeah.

[624] So Carol Grady, who's the, a 16 -year -old babysitter who had gotten raped way back in 1960, she hadn't known that he had been released from those charges against her.

[625] And when she saw the footage of this arrest for the murders, she got so fucking pissed off that she had never been notified that he even got out, that she campaigned for truth and sentencing and victim's advocacy, victim rights advocacy.

[626] Yeah.

[627] That's right.

[628] Yeah.

[629] So in May of 97, Carol Grady spearheaded a truth and sentencing proposal, and it means that felons would serve the time they are given no early release.

[630] 20 years is 20 fucking years.

[631] The bill's passed.

[632] That's what it says in the bill.

[633] And 20 years is 20 motherfucking years.

[634] Yes.

[635] So the bills passed and encompass any, you know, sexual assault, kidnapping, false imprisonment, incest, all forms of sexual exploitation or exposure to children.

[636] And so that passed in 97.

[637] And then fucking Spahnbauer died.

[638] on July, in July of 2002, at Dodge Correctional Institution.

[639] Liver disease.

[640] Yeah.

[641] And that's...

[642] So that's really a story about Carol Grady, kicking ass.

[643] It is.

[644] That's awesome.

[645] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[646] Absolutely.

[647] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[648] Exactly.

[649] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[650] But did you know that they're...

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[665] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[666] Goodbye.

[667] Jirja, what if I told you we could be transported to the 1920s to solve a murder?

[668] I'd say my entire life and wardrobe have led me to this point.

[669] If you want to escape to a bygone age of mystery, danger, and romance, then check out June's Journey, the Hidden Object mystery game that tests your detective skills.

[670] June's journey is a mobile mystery game that follows June Parker and New York socialite living in London.

[671] As June Parker, you'll investigate beautifully detailed scenes of the 1920s while uncovering the mystery of her sister's murder.

[672] There are twists, turns, and catchy tunes, all leading you deeper into the thrilling storyline.

[673] And if you play well enough, you could make it to the detective club where you can.

[674] chat with other players and either team up with them or compete against them.

[675] June needs your help, but watch out.

[676] You never know which character might be a villain.

[677] Find out as you escape this world and dive into June's world of mystery, murder, and romance.

[678] Can you crack the case?

[679] Download June's Journey for free today on iOS and Android.

[680] Discover your inner detective when you download June's Journey for free today on iOS and Android.

[681] That's June's Journey.

[682] Download the game for free on iOS and Android.

[683] Goodbye.

[684] Well, I'm going to take a left turn.

[685] Okay, good.

[686] I'm going to do Ed Gein.

[687] Oh, but it did it.

[688] Can't do it again?

[689] It's pretty great.

[690] Karen's going to do Ed Gein.

[691] I was just like a fountain with a single.

[692] I'm just like, there's just a puddle of a lot.

[693] We'll clean that up.

[694] We'll clean that up.

[695] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[696] That's us.

[697] That's on us.

[698] Actually, and here's what I need to say.

[699] Just from the get -go, I actually, if I was, you know, like the real true crime people would just be like, and this is true, it's actually pronounced Ed Gein.

[700] No. That's the correct pronunciation.

[701] No way.

[702] Yes, way.

[703] That's the correct pronunciation.

[704] But if I thought, I'm going to do Ed Gein, people would be like, what the fuck is she talking about?

[705] Like Vigina?

[706] Yes.

[707] I couldn't say that because he's a serial killer.

[708] And I have no filter.

[709] Yeah, it's Gein.

[710] I'm going to probably end up saying gine for most of the time.

[711] It's just a thing where it's like, well, actually it's pronounced jiff, not gif.

[712] And it's like, well, good luck with that because the world says gif.

[713] I pretty much broke up with someone over him telling me. What?

[714] Really?

[715] I was just like, I'm done.

[716] I'm done.

[717] Wait, because he insisted you say jiff?

[718] It was just like the last straw.

[719] I was like telling him of a cute little gif.

[720] And he's like, it's actually whatever.

[721] And I was like, why did you tell me that?

[722] You just get out of a moving car.

[723] It's actually a jiff.

[724] Goodbye forever.

[725] Vince's death roll.

[726] Vince is backstage taking a note.

[727] Don't correct her on anything.

[728] Never mention jiffs around Georgia.

[729] All right.

[730] I realized, because for a little while, I was thinking I would do Dahmer.

[731] Right?

[732] I mean, my friend Amy O 'Neill, who's here tonight, she sent me the funniest picture.

[733] She said it was a text and a picture, and it was Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer's faces in the shape of Wisconsin.

[734] Like, they filled up the state, and then it just underneath it said, Wisconsin, we eat people.

[735] And then her message was, if they still made this shirt, I would buy you this shirt.

[736] But I did, I, in like, when I was like 19, I bought an Ed Gein shirt, and it was just a white T -shirt with that big, famous picture.

[737] I think actually you guys have it.

[738] It's the first Ed Gein picture.

[739] It was a picture just with that on the front of it.

[740] He just looks like a miner.

[741] Like he's going down to the coal mines.

[742] Yeah.

[743] It's like, is this a Dorothea Lang photo?

[744] Totally.

[745] Am I supposed to empathize with the working man or be totally disgusted by this guy?

[746] It's hard to say.

[747] It's hard.

[748] I know.

[749] But I would walk around, I think I wore it one time.

[750] And then I was just like, I don't know if I can handle being this person.

[751] I don't know if I want to be the Ed Gein conversation starter.

[752] I was young then.

[753] I didn't know who I really was.

[754] So, you've changed, Karen.

[755] I've changed so much over the years.

[756] Now I'm 72.

[757] Edward Theodore Gein was born on August 26, 1906 in La Crosse, Wisconsin.

[758] Yeah, good job.

[759] come on his father George was a timid alcoholic while his mother Augusta was a puritanical lunatic oh and together so they cancelled each other out and they were great and they had such a happy family he had an older brother named Henry and he lived most of his life on a remote isolated 155 acre farm in Plainfield Wisconsin in 2012 Plainfield's population was 862.

[760] So back then it was 14.

[761] But do they have a cracker barrel?

[762] Because we are driving there tomorrow.

[763] Okay, so let's talk about his mother a little bit.

[764] She's very, you know, kind of famous and well -known Ed Gein's mother.

[765] He was super into her.

[766] Her name was Augusta Gein.

[767] She was a devout Lutheran who hated her drunken failure of a husband.

[768] Look at her.

[769] She looks so nice.

[770] No, look at the eyes.

[771] Look at the eyes.

[772] Oh, my God.

[773] It looks like a Disneyland photo when they, like, the eyes follow you when you walk by the roof.

[774] Haunted house photo.

[775] Except that necklace is pretty fucking sweet.

[776] It does, it looks like a Halloween store 3D photo where when you start looking, it's like, oh, no, it's a skeleton with veins.

[777] Oh, my God.

[778] Augusta.

[779] Look.

[780] Augusta, I have bad news about your son.

[781] Oh, no. Honey.

[782] Her eyes are on fire with the Lord.

[783] Oh.

[784] Fuck.

[785] Man. I can't get over it.

[786] I found that picture and I was just like, I want to stare at this picture for the rest of my life.

[787] Haunted.

[788] She was positive.

[789] She was right.

[790] If Sasha came out and was like, that's the woman I saw on the second floor.

[791] Oh, my, dude.

[792] Okay.

[793] Okay, so devout Lutheran hated her drunken failure of a husband, but she believed divorce was a sin.

[794] So instead of making her life better for herself, she decided to make it awful for everybody else.

[795] Happens.

[796] She became mired in misery and religious obsession, and she didn't want any outsiders influencing her boys.

[797] So after school, Henry and Ed had to come straight home, do their chores around the farm.

[798] They were not allowed to have friends or date, and their house never had electricity.

[799] Ooh.

[800] I don't know why that detail is the one that really put a chill down my spine.

[801] You know why?

[802] Just growing up in candlelight.

[803] Oh, it's got to fuck you up.

[804] With the gustus eyes, I'll like, let me read out of the Bible to you.

[805] So every room you pass by.

[806] Can you imagine at night you have to pee and you just have to pass by all these dark rooms with a candle?

[807] It's dark in the daytime.

[808] Look at those windows.

[809] Jesus, H. Yeah.

[810] Oh, you know, there was a gnarly basement in there, too.

[811] Oh.

[812] They have, like, three sub -basements.

[813] Yeah.

[814] Yeah, they were, like, when they were putting in electricity, they went by, and they're like, Augusta, we can hook you up.

[815] No, thank you.

[816] Nope.

[817] We're going to keep it super dark.

[818] Like Jesus wants.

[819] So, every night after dinner, she made them participate in.

[820] in a thing called Bible Time, where she would read to them out of the Old Testament for hours about how the world was a bastion of perversion and profanity, and that all women were instruments of the devil and natural -born hoars.

[821] Or as I like to imagine her saying it, Hoor's.

[822] They're all Hoor's.

[823] It's like a 10 -year -old and an eight -year -old.

[824] Hoor's, I told you.

[825] Mom, it's actually sex worker.

[826] Shut up.

[827] Mom, you're not supposed to say that.

[828] Now, this is super interesting.

[829] Census records indicate that Augusta became pregnant with her older son, Henry, before she was married to George.

[830] Uh -oh.

[831] Which back then, as we know, would have been a major scandal and maybe it was even illegal, so she fudged the dates and got married.

[832] before anyone realized what was going on.

[833] Got a big old baby, right?

[834] That's right.

[835] Who's the, who are now, Augusta.

[836] Eyes, eyes.

[837] Crazy eyes.

[838] Isn't that always the way?

[839] I saw us close up with those eyes.

[840] These weren't meant to be close up.

[841] No. Because it was back then, it was there.

[842] Look at him.

[843] I should have had Steven Zoom way in on the eyes.

[844] Or do a gift where we just keep going into her eyes.

[845] You guys get hypnotized, and then you're like, the show was great.

[846] It was wonderful.

[847] We loved the show.

[848] Karen and Georgia.

[849] Of course they can play a 2 ,400 -seat theater.

[850] No. Why not?

[851] Okay.

[852] So, okay.

[853] I slut shamed Augusta.

[854] That's out of the way.

[855] Little revenge on Augusta.

[856] So Ed himself was said to be, as a child, quiet, effeminate.

[857] He had odd mannerisms like laughing to himself in the middle of class for no reason.

[858] I mean, it's like saying, please punch me at recess.

[859] And he had a droopy eye, and the kids called him milk sop.

[860] Oh, what's that?

[861] I don't know, but it's so fucked up.

[862] Yeah.

[863] Yeah, it's not a, it's not...

[864] It's just so mean.

[865] No, yeah.

[866] It's like you're soaked in milk or something?

[867] I don't know.

[868] It's a Wisconsin thing.

[869] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[870] They say it all the time.

[871] They say it all the time.

[872] They say it so much.

[873] Okay.

[874] So on April 1st, 1940, I wrote Ed's booze bag, dad died from booze.

[875] I got a little carried away while I was typing.

[876] And then I wrote, Augusta was like, yay!

[877] I can finally be myself.

[878] Eyes.

[879] So then to help earn money, the boys who are now closer to actual grown men, they started getting odd jobs around town like chopping wood for neighbors and babysitting.

[880] That's odd.

[881] Yes, that's an odd job for Ed Gein.

[882] That's an odd job.

[883] Yeah.

[884] Ed Gein was a babysitter, which I thought would be an amazing fan fiction storyline for the babysitter's club.

[885] If anybody wants to do that.

[886] Stephen, write that down.

[887] Write that down.

[888] Are you sure you want Ed to be in the club, Stacey?

[889] Claudia, he took the babysitter's oath.

[890] He gets to be in the babysitters club.

[891] That's good.

[892] Yeah.

[893] It's a good one.

[894] I actually had to text my friend Julian McCullough, who's a comic, who actually did read all 35 books of the babysitters club when he was the son.

[895] was like, can you give me some babysitter club names so I can write this joke?

[896] Because he's going to listen to this and he's going to get real pissed off.

[897] Yeah, I would think so.

[898] Okay, anyway, now that his dad was dead, Ed could have his mother alt himself, which is what he wanted.

[899] He doted on her.

[900] He loved her.

[901] It was all about Ed and Augusta 24 -7.

[902] And to the point where Henry was like, you guys, he was bumming out.

[903] he was starting to realize that maybe Bible time wasn't for him anymore like he started dating a divorcee who had kids in town and he was like saying to Ed like what's what are you doing this is weird um so then on May 16th 1944 while Ed and Henry were burning some brush on the property um the fire that they started to get I guess do some kind of a back burn or I don't know a farm burn, you know.

[904] The fire got out of control.

[905] So Ed ran to the sheriff and he was like, we need help to put this fire out.

[906] And they get back to the fire, and the fire's out, but now no one can find Henry.

[907] And so when the sheriff asked, did you go check up at the house to see if Henry went back home?

[908] Ed just didn't say anything.

[909] And so then they said, well, maybe we should search the property to see if he's still here on the farm.

[910] And so then Ed just led them directly to Henry's dead body which was which was out where the fire was but interestingly he was face down on the ground and he was in a patch of scorched earth but his clothes were not burnt in any way so they of course didn't suspect foul play and the doctor said he died of his fixiation and so sorry to you the Gaines we'll send a casserole over So at Henry's funeral Ed Gein was reported to He's been saying things to people like Henry would have been a great disappointment if he had lived Oh my God Play a fucking roll for a minute, dude Just hold off for an afternoon, Ed And then he was also saying to people Well, it's just me and mama now Oh, Ed.

[911] Mom's like, fuck.

[912] I mean, I'm crazy, but this guy.

[913] But I'm not into my son.

[914] Okay, so a year and a half later, Augusta has a stroke, and Ed is her nurse.

[915] He takes care of her day and night until she dies, and that's when he loses his shit, as we all know.

[916] That he becomes the Ed game that we know and love in a way that seems sick, but actually is more fascination and interest.

[917] It's not respect.

[918] We don't want to have dinner with him, Yeah.

[919] We know he's a bad person.

[920] Doesn't make us bad people.

[921] Yeah.

[922] We don't love serial killers.

[923] No, that's crazy.

[924] Co -workers.

[925] We don't.

[926] Friends.

[927] Good friends who should understand me better.

[928] Yeah.

[929] Like you're allowed to have babysitters club, but I can't have murder?

[930] That's perverted.

[931] I don't say anything to you.

[932] Except in front of 2 ,400 people.

[933] Oh, yeah, except for right now.

[934] Right.

[935] Okay.

[936] So now he's a middle -aged man who has been isolated his entire life on a farm with no electricity.

[937] And everything was fine?

[938] And everything turned up fine.

[939] A man who believes that sex is bad, that women are bad, that the outside world is evil.

[940] Well, is you wrong?

[941] Well, no, you're right.

[942] He's right.

[943] So the first thing he does is, board up the three rooms that his mother used.

[944] So the entire upstairs, he boards off, and then he boards off her bedroom and the parlor, the living room, whatever.

[945] Any place that she used to go, now no one can go.

[946] And those rooms were kept exactly as they were when Augusta died until the house burned down.

[947] Spoiler alert, they fucking burn the house down.

[948] It's such a great, when you read it, they're like, oh, he was arrested.

[949] Everyone knows he was arrested, but he was arrested and then there were the talks that they were going to turn it into oh they're going to make it into a tourist attraction or whatever and like the next day it's like burned to the ground everyone's like I seriously haven't seen anything and I don't know what happened at all can you imagine going into like being the you know cop who pulls the board down and walks into that fucking room what if the green room upstairs what has is actually based on the parlor with a barista she had a barista and everything she had really good tortilla chips yeah like legit guack and an NBA jam video games oh my god but they didn't have electricity that doesn't make sense okay okay sorry let's go back so Ed starts buying what are called in many articles yet I don't understand what they mean death cult magazines death cult Also, Detective Magazines.

[950] There was a magazine back then called Detective Magazine that was basically a true crime magazine, but it was also like naked ladies and stuff like that.

[951] Oh, my God, I need these.

[952] Right?

[953] Yeah.

[954] We need to order them right now.

[955] Not the current issues, like the, you know, vintage.

[956] It's vintage.

[957] You open it, and it's just like a huge centerfold comes out.

[958] Anyway, he's basically getting into all the things his mother said, you can't ever look at this.

[959] Obviously, that's what humans do.

[960] he especially liked reading about Nazis and cannibals one night around this time his neighbors invite him over to dinner because you know the mom of that family was like I just worry about that Ed Keynes sitting up in that farmhouse all by himself yeah lost his whole family that's amazing I'm not even going to try to do it guys I love Fargo it's such a great film do it again Do it again.

[961] All that for just a little bit of money.

[962] So they invite Ed over for dinner.

[963] Well, it goes, as you would imagine, because Ed's never been around people or electricity.

[964] And they had also invited a female relative to be at the dinner, which apparently Ed just stared at her like he was, some say, undressing her with his eyes.

[965] Some would argue he was doing other things.

[966] I'm like skinning her with his eyes.

[967] Needless to say, the dinner ended relatively soon, and a couple nights later, the young boy and the family wakes up, he's being held in a chokehold, and this intruder is whispering in his ear asking where this female relative is right now.

[968] And the little boy tells his family, I think it was Ed Gein.

[969] And then they're like, oh, wow, and they never tell the police.

[970] They don't want to be rude Don't make a fuss Oh my God You know, look, he's our neighbor Wow I don't know, it's just coming through me now I'm channeling it I don't know It might be the ghost What if it's the ghost?

[971] The ghost had a really strong accent Okay Other neighbors report that they see Ed Gein just straight up peeping -tombing right in their window.

[972] He's straight up peeping -tombing all over town.

[973] So he's not doing well with the socializing.

[974] So then, in 1954, a tavern owner named Mary Hogan disappears.

[975] The police find blood on the barroom floor, and they suspect foul play, but the case goes cold.

[976] and later on when Ed overhears some locals talking about Mary's disappearance he says oh she's not missing she's at my farmhouse right now and he like what the fuck but instead they're like Ed you fucking nut get out of here old milk sop over here oh the milk's up him and his jokes milk's up okay so then So then three years later on November 8th, 1957, a woman named Bernice Warden disappeared.

[977] She owned the local hardware store and this hardware store had been closed all day, which was unusual, but most people in town thought maybe it was because it was the first day of deer hunting season.

[978] For real, they're like, oh, Bernice.

[979] It's a holiday.

[980] She loves to get a good 10 -point buck and then come on back to the...

[981] But her son Frank, who was also the deputy sheriff, when he can't get a hold of her, he goes to the hardware store.

[982] He finds the cash register is open and there's blood on the floor.

[983] And when he looks at the receipt book, the last thing that happened in that store was a bottle of antifreeze was sold to Ed Gein.

[984] Holy shit.

[985] So a little while later, they find him at the grocery store and they arrest him.

[986] and then they go out to the Gein Farm.

[987] And there in a shed next to the house, they find Bernice Warden's decapitated body, and it is hung upside down and dressed out like you would have hunted deer.

[988] Holy shit.

[989] Mistakenly, mistakenly, mistakenly, yes.

[990] You did not look at this.

[991] Clicked on that fucking picture.

[992] Are you fucking kidding me?

[993] It is.

[994] Don't put it up.

[995] Don't look up there.

[996] You look up like you're like, and you look how horrible.

[997] Merry fucking Christmas.

[998] It's the worst.

[999] It's very, very, very upsetting.

[1000] I don't recommend accidentally looking at it in your hotel room while you're by yourself.

[1001] Wow.

[1002] I feel like lightheaded.

[1003] Yeah.

[1004] Well, really, then you might want to lay on the ground because I have some stuff to tell you.

[1005] I have some bad news.

[1006] That's not it?

[1007] Yeah.

[1008] Apparently, so what Ed Gein.

[1009] did, he went into that hardware store, he took a 22 rifle off the shelf and shot her with the rifle from her own store.

[1010] So when they search the house, I'm just going to read you a list of what the authorities found.

[1011] I thought that would be fun for everybody.

[1012] Everyone sit back.

[1013] Let's hear it.

[1014] They find a, there's a pot of water on the stove, and inside it is her heart.

[1015] That's just walking in the door.

[1016] There is a wastebasket made of human skin.

[1017] There's human skin covering several chair seats.

[1018] There are skulls on his bedposts.

[1019] Holy fuck.

[1020] There are skulls sitting around with the tops sawn off.

[1021] There are bowls that are made of skulls.

[1022] He just did skulls every way you could.

[1023] He really liked bowls, I guess.

[1024] He was...

[1025] I mean, I guess what else are you going to do with a fuck?

[1026] I mean, that's right?

[1027] A candle holder?

[1028] I don't know.

[1029] You stick like male in the front in the eye socket.

[1030] We're being insensitive now.

[1031] We're being absolutely.

[1032] That's just simply incorrect.

[1033] He made a corset from a female torso skin from the shoulders to the waist.

[1034] He made leggings from human leg skin.

[1035] Oh, no. He made...

[1036] I just pictured that and...

[1037] Yeah.

[1038] Well, turn that picture thing off because he made masks from the skin of female faces, heads.

[1039] He...

[1040] What the fuck?

[1041] He had Mary Hogan's face mask in a paper bag.

[1042] He had her skull in a box.

[1043] He had Bernice Warden's entire head in a burlap sack.

[1044] And he had nine vulvei in a shoe box.

[1045] Oh, my God.

[1046] Yeah.

[1047] Yeah.

[1048] That's the outer pussy, everybody, if you don't.

[1049] I feel like there's people that don't know.

[1050] Don't you think there's a couple people that are like, what is that, the elbow skin or whatever?

[1051] Don't you think?

[1052] Oh, yeah.

[1053] You know?

[1054] Yeah.

[1055] It would have less impact if you weren't.

[1056] Is that that thing when you talk and it wobbles?

[1057] Oh, I need to get my vulvae removed.

[1058] Oh, my God.

[1059] Someone brought their dad, I bet.

[1060] I know, Jesus.

[1061] There's definitely at least one person that was to their friend, like, you have to come.

[1062] I know you've never heard it before, but it's, you know.

[1063] You're going to love it.

[1064] Last night, a girl whispered in my ear, and she was leaving, I'm on a Tinder date right now.

[1065] I was like, yes.

[1066] You're not going on the second one, honey.

[1067] That's a special section of Tinder.

[1068] Yeah, yeah.

[1069] Of course, there's the belt made from female nipples, the famous.

[1070] We actually had a lovely fan murderino send us a crocheted version of that belt.

[1071] which I forgot to put on Instagram.

[1072] But yes, it is gorgeous.

[1073] It made me laugh.

[1074] When I realized what it was, I laughed so fucking hard.

[1075] I, like, scared the cats.

[1076] I was alone.

[1077] Yeah.

[1078] Because when we opened it, it was like, we were like, what's this?

[1079] A cat toy?

[1080] And we were kind of like, what's this?

[1081] I guess it's nice colors or whatever.

[1082] We were kind of just like that.

[1083] And then...

[1084] I went to take a photo of it after they left, just to like send it me like, I still don't know what this is.

[1085] And then I looked through my lens, and I was like, oh my god and then I started laughing and I was like we have the best listeners like you know like fucking this American life doesn't get shit like that right or if they do they like call the police or something sidetrack four noses get right back into it right a lampshade mane for the skin of a human face fingernails from female fingers And this is my, I'm not going to say the word favorite, but it's the one that, it's the one that fascinates me the most.

[1086] He had a pair of lips tied to a window shade drawstring.

[1087] So it's like, oh, that sun is too bright.

[1088] Ed?

[1089] What the fuck, Ed?

[1090] Man, what do you think his Pinterest would look like?

[1091] We have, we'll be a bummer.

[1092] You guys don't tell anybody what we said tonight, okay?

[1093] Oh my God, please don't tell anyone.

[1094] Please.

[1095] Let's keep it between us.

[1096] Yeah.

[1097] So when they question him.

[1098] Oh, just so you know, they photographed all these things, sent us to crime lab, got what they needed, and then it was all destroyed.

[1099] So none of this could get out, yeah.

[1100] So if you ever, like, are like, oh, I just bought Ed Gein's nipple belt, you've been conned.

[1101] Because they were immediately like, this is the worst of, this is the worst of human.

[1102] existence.

[1103] Well, put the woman flayed on the internet, but everything else needs to be destroyed.

[1104] Just can I get out one lip's window thing?

[1105] I just, I don't know why.

[1106] I just think it's interesting.

[1107] Okay.

[1108] I don't.

[1109] So when he's questioned, Ed Gain tells investigators that between 1947 and 1952, he made as many as 40 nocturnal visits to three local graveyard.

[1110] It's a town with 600 people and they have three fucking graveyards.

[1111] What's happening?

[1112] He would go there and he would exhume recently buried bodies.

[1113] So what he would do, he would look in the paper in the obituaries.

[1114] And if there was somebody who died that was a woman who was around the age his mother was when she passed.

[1115] Augusta, you've done it again.

[1116] Coming back into Ed's life.

[1117] he would go and dig up that body or go take a couple parts that he wanted he also made a point to tell the police that he would return a lot of the jewelry good of you Ed, good of you what a gentleman he also said that when he would go there and do that he was in a day's like state which is like oh really you weren't normal you weren't like sharp as a tack and he also told the police that he left the graves in apple pie order which what the fuck kind of saying is that oh my god apple pie oh I left him on the apple pie you wouldn't believe it so okay so uh sorry I lost my spouse this is the biggest this is the biggest paragraph with things like face and nipples in it that I've ever read.

[1118] I'm just like, my God, pass that.

[1119] Which nipple was I on?

[1120] Okay, so what he was doing, as we all know, and it has been taken.

[1121] This is, Ed is the reason that you got super scared when you watched Psycho, when you watch Silence of the Lambs, and when you watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[1122] That's all this fucking lunatics doing, because what Ed was trying to do was make a woman's suit so he could be inside his mother's body.

[1123] A psychologist would just take that one apart really quick.

[1124] I'm in, I think, in like, ten minutes.

[1125] I mean, yeah, it's just an argument against reading out of the Old Testament straight into your child's face with no lights on and not letting him have friends or sex or anything, obviously.

[1126] Yeah, he...

[1127] Let your child's face.

[1128] have sex.

[1129] If we have one message to leave you with tonight.

[1130] Jesus.

[1131] Oh, that was the night that they got arrested.

[1132] Just for speaking.

[1133] It should end on a green room like that, though.

[1134] We'd really go out on top.

[1135] Yeah.

[1136] So basically, he would put this lady's suit on and put the face on his face, go into the backyard.

[1137] He had like an incantation dance he would do under the moonlight.

[1138] he was he was fucking nuts and all alone way out in the country when the cops asked him if he had sex with any of these dead bodies he said no they smelled too bad oh so they're like I'm sorry you fuck face you can suddenly you have standards okay all right he and then in that interrogation he admitted to killing Mary Hogan the tavern owner because he was in the tavern and he heard her talking and he thought she had a foul mouth and that she didn't deserve to live.

[1139] Oh, shit.

[1140] He did, yes.

[1141] So we'd be dead.

[1142] Yeah, we'd be, would we or we fight him off?

[1143] We'd fight him off.

[1144] I would pull out a Bible and be like, guess what I can read the Bible too, Ed?

[1145] Now you have to do what I say.

[1146] Okay, so this is what he said when he was interrogated by district attorney, Earl Killeen.

[1147] He said, quote, I started to visit graveyards in the area regularly about 18 months after my mother died.

[1148] Most nights I would just stand and have private conversations with my mom.

[1149] Other times, I couldn't make myself go home without raising one of them up first.

[1150] Maybe on about nine occasions I took somebody or part of somebody home with me. Now I don't even know what accent I'm doing.

[1151] It was kind of an evil spirit I couldn't control.

[1152] that's where the oh sorry the saying is he left the graves in apple pie order hmm apple pie order so he there's a piece of American cheese on every grave local jokes get local work okay and he basically said that the reason that he did it is he had an uncontrollable desire to see a woman's body oh Ed that's natural and normal you don't have to make woman's suit to look at a woman's body all right so this is a sad part is the Washara County Sheriff Ed Archleigh is the sheriff who was handling the case and he was the one that interrogated Ed Gein and so when Ed Gein was listing when they had all this evidence and he was telling him all these terrible things and he He was just confessing all of it very directly.

[1153] Archley took Ed Gein's head and bashed it into a brick wall.

[1154] Whoa.

[1155] I mean, you know.

[1156] Yeah.

[1157] That sounds about like the right reaction.

[1158] What else he's supposed to fucking do?

[1159] So then the judge decided there was no way that that confession could hold up in court because excessive force was used.

[1160] And Ed Schley died of heart failure before the trial even started.

[1161] in his late 40s.

[1162] And a lot of people count him as another victim of Ed Gein because it was so traumatic what he went through looking at all that stuff and being around it and having to have that experience, which I mean, Jesus Christ.

[1163] So there's I think we do have a picture.

[1164] It's Ed Gein getting walked by a big tall guy.

[1165] That's Archelae, who was the sheriff who...

[1166] He's in shock.

[1167] Yeah, he's just like, uh, what the fuck?

[1168] I didn't know life was like this.

[1169] Yes, I mean.

[1170] I thought it was like something else.

[1171] I would like to go back to the other place, please.

[1172] Oh, poor guy.

[1173] So basically, he went to court.

[1174] He was convicted.

[1175] There was obviously an insane amount of evidence, and they knew he did it.

[1176] He didn't fight it.

[1177] When he was convicted, they told him, the locals burned his house down.

[1178] That's my theory.

[1179] That's not.

[1180] That's alleged.

[1181] But basically they were like, oh, you think you're going to make a carnival out of this shit?

[1182] Goodbye.

[1183] Also, there was no electricity in the house, so it's not like something sparked and it's fucking burned down.

[1184] You know what I mean?

[1185] They were like, oh, I think a comet hit it.

[1186] Yeah, yeah, I saw a comet too.

[1187] And then when they told Ed that his house burned down, he goes, it's just as well.

[1188] Fucking Ed, right?

[1189] What a milk stop.

[1190] He died in Medota State Mental Hospital at age 77, and that's Ed Gein, everybody.

[1191] Wow.

[1192] Thank you.

[1193] You do those heavy hitters so well.

[1194] You do.

[1195] That's why I didn't do Domero.

[1196] She's going to do one of the big ones.

[1197] I'm going to let her do a heavy hitter.

[1198] That's right.

[1199] That's how we do it.

[1200] You can have them.

[1201] I'm going to do the horrible child killers that are recent.

[1202] And horrible.

[1203] That's how we do it.

[1204] Yeah, I mean, that's our Cagney and Lacey kind of set up.

[1205] That's how we like to do it.

[1206] Which one?

[1207] We're both Laverne's.

[1208] I don't know.

[1209] Before the show, Georgia goes, should we both get L's to sew onto our dresses?

[1210] I'm like, yes, double Laverne.

[1211] Yes.

[1212] We can all be adorable Shirley's.

[1213] It's time for a hometown murder, I think.

[1214] I think, should we do it?

[1215] I think, though.

[1216] I think we know, sorry, I do think we know because there is someone that sent a tweet, a Twitter and it's someone, shit, I memorized the name and then I got all caught up in my rock and roll lifestyle upstairs.

[1217] It's the person who sent the tweet whose dad texted them about Ed Gein and there's a series of texts and they tweeted and said, we've got your hometown tonight if you want to hear it.

[1218] I didn't know.

[1219] I was like, don't tell me. Surprise me. Yes, I kept a secret.

[1220] So if you are here and you know what I'm talking about, well, you come down here?

[1221] Usually there's a scream by now.

[1222] And that's an honor system, so don't try to lie your way through it once you get up here.

[1223] I think that...

[1224] I think your name is...

[1225] Was it Tracy?

[1226] Yell if...

[1227] Is it Sarah?

[1228] I think her car broke down.

[1229] Are you walking or are you just sitting in a chair yelling at me?

[1230] I don't think she's here.

[1231] Oh, man. All right, take another one.

[1232] Well, no, if she knows her name is Sarah.

[1233] I bet she's looking at the Twitter right now.

[1234] Am I right?

[1235] I don't know.

[1236] What'd they say?

[1237] I don't know.

[1238] She's in the bathroom?

[1239] Is that true?

[1240] What a nightmare!

[1241] Okay, don't think.

[1242] Wait, before she gets back, before she gets back.

[1243] We have to do a trick on her before she gets back.

[1244] I can't think of what it is.

[1245] You go sit in her seat.

[1246] Okay.

[1247] Where is it?

[1248] Don't touch you, Karen.

[1249] Jesus, help me. Oh my God, I thought you guys were making a joke.

[1250] Can I slide in that?

[1251] I'm not going that way.

[1252] I'm not going that way.

[1253] I'm going to put my butt in front of everybody's face.

[1254] Yeah, I'll go this way.

[1255] I'll go this way.

[1256] Karen, I'm up here alone.

[1257] Oh, sorry, I forgot.

[1258] I'm going to go too.

[1259] Oh, my God.

[1260] Do a type five.

[1261] Oh, is that you?

[1262] Shit, I was going to do a trick on you.

[1263] Come with me. Sasha.

[1264] Oh, my God.

[1265] Can I get a microphone?

[1266] Oh, our seat.

[1267] Oh, we're still doing the trick.

[1268] Georgia Love or leave the state?

[1269] I feel like I'm having a nightmare.

[1270] Is that her?

[1271] I'm pretty sure I don't.

[1272] Sarah, get over here right now or you are in serious trouble.

[1273] Oh, she's getting her phone.

[1274] She's getting her phone.

[1275] You don't need her phone.

[1276] Right?

[1277] Okay, grab my hand.

[1278] Grab my hand.

[1279] Are you going to walk us to the stage?

[1280] How do we get up there fast?

[1281] Well, I can tell you that this was horrible.

[1282] I don't care if you had to pee, Sarah.

[1283] if you're at a professional show you stay in your seat the entire time doesn't matter what are the fucking chances that the one person we called out yes the one fucking person is peeing the chances were one in 2 ,400 thank you yeah that makes I don't know math it's like one sip of beer less and she would have not had to go through all of this and neither would I have here I have it Karen Karen Karen I have it, I have it.

[1284] Okay, okay.

[1285] Can I scream?

[1286] Come on, come.

[1287] There she is.

[1288] Oh my goodness.

[1289] No, I'm sure.

[1290] She's in the bathroom.

[1291] Come here.

[1292] Sorry, I really had to pee.

[1293] Okay.

[1294] Are you, you seem so chill about all of this?

[1295] No, I'm very scared.

[1296] Are you scared?

[1297] Let's talk about.

[1298] You should be.

[1299] You're shaking, right?

[1300] It's freaky as hell.

[1301] Yeah, I kind of like that I can't see anything.

[1302] I know, isn't that good?

[1303] It's best.

[1304] It's good.

[1305] Wait.

[1306] Where are you from?

[1307] From Milwaukee.

[1308] Thank you for any race.

[1309] Local.

[1310] What street do you live on?

[1311] I'm not going to say.

[1312] Good, good, good call.

[1313] Because I don't want to get murdered.

[1314] That's right.

[1315] That was a test.

[1316] So I'm going to tell this story through my own dad's words.

[1317] It's beautiful.

[1318] Yeah, I can't say it any better.

[1319] Okay.

[1320] So, as my father.

[1321] Wait, what is he, is he going to, are we going to know what he does for a living?

[1322] He's a psychologist.

[1323] So cool.

[1324] What's his first name?

[1325] Steve.

[1326] Steve, okay.

[1327] Steve is a psychologist.

[1328] And as a college student, before he married my mother.

[1329] What's her name?

[1330] Sandy.

[1331] Steven Sandy.

[1332] Steven Sandy.

[1333] Oh, Stephen Sandy.

[1334] Yeah.

[1335] Right out of college?

[1336] Yeah.

[1337] Right out of college.

[1338] Right out of college.

[1339] In Madison.

[1340] No. That says, I was a volunteer at Mendota Mental Health.

[1341] Working with kids.

[1342] You guys go there?

[1343] all the time Tuesdays and Thursdays and Thursdays love it twice a week the nurses brought in Halloween costumes and we took the kids trick -or -treating to the other units what hold on yeah get him on the phone right now what that I could call him are you serious yeah get him on the phone I could yeah you want to tell it and then we'll call him after okay because that's okay we'll ask him about that's insane we'll have She said, it was a weird year because someone poisoned Tylenol in Chicago.

[1344] Oh.

[1345] It was 1982.

[1346] What?

[1347] Yes.

[1348] So people were scared and kids were not trick -or -treating.

[1349] Oh, so take it to the mental hospital.

[1350] Wait, what?

[1351] Yeah.

[1352] Okay, okay.

[1353] Yeah.

[1354] Okay.

[1355] So nurses on the other units had candy and patients would give our kids treats.

[1356] Oh, I guess.

[1357] On some units, it was too dangerous.

[1358] they would slip the candy through a security slot in the door.

[1359] Oh my God, those children are like, I'm worse now.

[1360] Those kids.

[1361] But we went on the gerontology psych unit, old people.

[1362] I feel like they're like it's scared straight kind of.

[1363] That was safe.

[1364] And old people gave the kids Reese's cups.

[1365] We were waiting for all the old people who wanted to come give away some candy.

[1366] And a nurse asked, Eddie, do you want to give the kids some candy?

[1367] and I turned around and there he was.

[1368] What?

[1369] He did not want to hand out any candy.

[1370] We set a quick hi to each other and he asked if we would be gone soon.

[1371] I said, yeah, and that was it.

[1372] So kids all over the country couldn't trick -or -treat because it wasn't safe, but my kids trick -or -treated to a cannibalistic necrophile and where safe as can be, straight and horrible.

[1373] Can we get him on the phone real quick?

[1374] Oh, no. Because that was a gorgeously written series of texts.

[1375] Okay, dad's cell, it says.

[1376] Yeah, he better answer.

[1377] It's on you.

[1378] Should I put him on speakerphone?

[1379] Yes, you should.

[1380] Oh, no. Stephen.

[1381] He's in the bathroom.

[1382] Yeah, we are.

[1383] We're just going to hang out.

[1384] Ben Wall screen.

[1385] Steve, this is everybody at the Riverside Theater right now.

[1386] We've got your daughter.

[1387] We've got your daughter.

[1388] And we're having a great old time.

[1389] Ten minutes have been the worst of my life.

[1390] She was nervous.

[1391] She was nervous.

[1392] She just wanted to leave.

[1393] I guess she's a Karen.

[1394] Vince said to me, I'm going to give you a tip for, if you're losing the crowd.

[1395] I'll give you a baseball tip for a Green Bay baseball tip.

[1396] Oh.

[1397] To tell them so they'll get back with you.

[1398] What?

[1399] It's football.

[1400] It's football.

[1401] Is that football?

[1402] I just put it together in my head.

[1403] You know what?

[1404] I actually don't give a shit.

[1405] Was that the tip?

[1406] Because it worked great.

[1407] Dying, I bet you're right now.

[1408] He said, just tell them I'm named after Vince Lombardi.

[1409] What an amazing baseball tip that was.

[1410] Fuck yes.

[1411] I was at first.

[1412] I was so scared that I was saying the wrong team from like a different state that I was like oh football okay whatever I don't different sport fine you were positive it was going to be Minnesota right yeah kept saying Minnesota she got the state she got the state perfectly fine the state was exactly right and that's what matters you guys this show has been fucking incredible wow thank you so much honestly roller coaster it was there's highs there's We were very, very nervous to come out here knowing that you were twice the size of every show we've done.

[1413] And thank you, thank you for being the first city where there was such a demand for tickets that they moved the fucking location.

[1414] I mean, I guess the only thing we have to say to that is stay sexy.

[1415] And don't.