S14 E5: What a F*cking Psycho

[0] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to something was wrong early and ad -free right now.

[1] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[2] I'm Dan Tversky.

[3] In 2011, something strange began to happen at a high school in upstate New York.

[4] A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast.

[5] What's the answer?

[6] And what do you do if they tell you it's all in your head?

[7] Hysterical.

[8] A new podcast from Wondry and Pineapple Street Studios.

[9] Binge all episodes of hysterical early and ad -free on Wondery Plus.

[10] This season, guests will be sharing their own testimony in regards to the criminal allegations against Jake Gravbrot.

[11] All persons are assumed to be innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

[12] Guest experiences are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of myself, something was wrong, or Wondery.

[13] At the time of this episode's airing, Jake Gravbrot has not responded to our request for comment.

[14] If you have been a victim of Jake Ravbrot or have a crime tip in relation to these matters, please visit Something Was Wrong .com slash 14 for more information.

[15] All names of minors involved in this story have been changed for their privacy and protection.

[16] Some survivor names have also been changed for anonymity and safety purposes.

[17] Season 14 covers a variety of mature topics that can be upsetting, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence.

[18] Content warnings for each episode and resources for survivors can be found in the episode notes.

[19] The podcast or any linked materials should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment.

[20] Thank you so much for listening.

[21] He was a freelance photographer during this point.

[22] He was still doing hair occasionally.

[23] He actually had on his website for any clients that were booking.

[24] Please tip in cash because he was trying to appear broke.

[25] So he stayed with the hairstylist thing part time because he was trying to be a photographer.

[26] He went and took pictures of Justin at a concert or something, but he was trying to get a job with Justin as his hairstylist.

[27] He was like, I might go on to work.

[28] and I'm going to be gone for a really long time.

[29] I wasn't putting a whole lot of stock into that because I didn't feel like that was going to happen.

[30] But then after I left in June, he got this gig with Justin Bieber to do his hair.

[31] He was supposed to do hair and makeup.

[32] I don't know if he's ever done makeup, ever.

[33] Maybe a little bit in beauty school or something, but he does not know how to do makeup.

[34] I was giving him one word answers for the most part when he would send me. messages.

[35] I really had no desire to have a dialogue.

[36] Unless it was to talk to me about Emerson, I was not responding to him.

[37] I mostly heard it from Melissa.

[38] He made it like, oh, she's going to want me back because I'm working for Justin Bieber.

[39] I'm going to be making all this money.

[40] She's going to come running and regret what she's doing type of thing.

[41] When he was going to be Justin Bieber's hairstylist, he needed to get a passport and I drove Emerson.

[42] to pick him up from the airport and then to go get a passport and then drop him off at the venue.

[43] And he told Melissa, I'm going to wear this cologne and she's going to want to be back with me. And I made him get in the back seat.

[44] I wouldn't even let him right up front with me because I was like, no, you're here to see her.

[45] Get in the back.

[46] And he's like, for real?

[47] And I'm like, yeah, get in the back.

[48] See your daughter.

[49] He saw her for like 30 minutes total.

[50] and then I drove back and it ended up being like four hours.

[51] So any time he was like, well, I'm in L .A., can you just drive her over here?

[52] I'm like, no, dude, you're wanting me to drive her during rush hour traffic there and back to Orange County.

[53] I'm not doing that.

[54] For what?

[55] The time that you do see her, you're like trying to see me and it's weird.

[56] There's a picture that he posted of his actual All Access Pass.

[57] It shows the Believe Tour and it shows Jake as hairstylist.

[58] He was his personal hairstylist for three whole days.

[59] When I say three whole days, the first day that he was there, he shadowed the other hairstylist.

[60] Like, we have to show you he's really particular and you have to do things a certain way.

[61] He followed that hairstylist for the first night and then it was in Las Vegas on the Believe tour.

[62] He actually was the hairstylist for that night and then cut Justin's hair after the concert and Justin fired him on the spot.

[63] I think that Justin just didn't like him because Melissa said that he was upset because I think he thought oh Justin's going to like think I'm really cool and I think that he didn't like him I think he was trying to be buddies with him and he was like no you're doing my hair he like put him in his place and he was kind of mad about it I really would love to ask Justin if he remembers I should reach out Oh my gosh Hi my name is Hana.

[64] I met Kaylin through work when Emerson was about nine months old.

[65] We pretty much immediately hit it off.

[66] She was really fun, energy type of person, very kind and friendly.

[67] When I first met him, I would say that he, I mean, he's a big guy and he was definitely reserved.

[68] He was quiet, but seemed to give off a friendly vibe.

[69] You could definitely tell that there was some tension in their relationship.

[70] I could tell that she walked on eggshells around him a little bit, which I thought was definitely very bizarre because that's not her personality type.

[71] He was the more that I was around him more and more awkward.

[72] He had a hair salon and I actually used him as a stylist one time because Caitlin was my best friend.

[73] I wanted to support her.

[74] I wanted to support her husband.

[75] And it was probably my worst salon experience of my life.

[76] He actually ended up ruining my hair.

[77] I asked because he was like, I don't do blonde.

[78] And I said, okay, that's fine.

[79] If you don't want to do my hair, he's like, no, I'll do it.

[80] I'll do your hair.

[81] I said, okay.

[82] And then he ended up just completely frying my hair.

[83] And so I never used him for hair services again.

[84] He did Kalin's hair and her hair was always beautiful and she always had fun colors or blonde or whatever.

[85] But he made me feel bad that he didn't do my hair the way that.

[86] He said he had, it was a very weird situation.

[87] It cost a bunch of money for him to ruin my hair.

[88] I never said anything to Kalin about it.

[89] I was just like, oh, yeah, like, I'm not, I'm not getting my hair done for a while type of situation.

[90] He owned the salon.

[91] He had so many great, like, portraits and portfolios.

[92] And so I was like, oh, yeah, for sure, I'll support you.

[93] There was only a couple of people working that day.

[94] He's a pretty quiet, reserved person.

[95] And now looking back, I think the quietness.

[96] is a little bit of a facade of, I'm not going to say anything.

[97] You just feel very uncomfortable.

[98] Like there's quiet, shy people, and then there's quiet.

[99] I'm silencing the room to make you uncomfortable.

[100] And I could tell his coworkers weren't around him.

[101] Didn't come up.

[102] I've had hairstylos over the years.

[103] They're usually friendly.

[104] They talk to their coworkers.

[105] They talk to you.

[106] Their coworkers talk to you.

[107] None of that happened.

[108] That was definitely weird.

[109] In the And I was like, this is supposed to be like some really fancy nice salon right on the water in Seattle.

[110] It did not give off those vibes.

[111] So then after he got fired from Beber is when he went on tour with Anne Berlin.

[112] He went to L .A. and went on tour.

[113] He was there for like three days, left there and went back east and met up with other bands.

[114] After he was fired from the Beaver tour, he went with some other band and did photography for them.

[115] So he was gone for the majority of the summer, and I didn't have to, like, deal with him or deal with any of it.

[116] He was distracted.

[117] It made it a little bit better for me. I would say when he came back in August, he started really coming at me again, wanting to be together and wanting to try and work things out.

[118] Maybe we could try, and maybe we could do this, coming at me with all these ideas, but being really over -the -top nice.

[119] Having dealt with him being so vicious for so many months, I went along with it because it felt so much better than being lashed out at constantly.

[120] I was so sick with stress this whole time.

[121] I was losing so much weight that my doctor at one point had threatened to hospitalize me and told me I needed to start drinking insurer because I couldn't keep weight on.

[122] I was skin and bones.

[123] I was so sick with stress.

[124] I wasn't sleeping.

[125] I was a shell of a person.

[126] And I don't even know sometimes looking back how I survived all of it because it was so dark and ugly.

[127] It felt like there was no end in sight.

[128] I can't even look at pictures from when I'm pregnant because I look so sick.

[129] it makes me sad that I let someone push me to that point and I got myself to that by not being able to stand up for myself, by not being able to put boundaries in place and stick to them, I felt like I had done it to myself.

[130] He was going to continue to do it as long as I allowed it and I kept allowing it.

[131] I felt like I was to blame, but I did not have the strength or the willpower or even knowing how to change the situation or make it any better or to get away from it.

[132] Every time I would try and walk away, he would do something that made me question, well, maybe he does actually care, because why would he do that if he didn't really care?

[133] It would be like me saying, I need to not talk to you anymore.

[134] We can figure out a parenting plan once the baby's born, but I don't want to have communication with you until then.

[135] And even then, let's just do the court system and do it that way.

[136] And he would go on my Instagram and spend three straight hours going through every single photo and leaving a comment or liking every post all the way back to the very beginning.

[137] There was a couple months period where I actually started spending time with him again.

[138] He was on pretty good behavior.

[139] He told me he wasn't dating anyone else, that he'd lost one family and that he wanted to actually try and do the right thing.

[140] I tried my best to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it really was living day to day, feeling like there was a bomb about to go off.

[141] It's going to go off.

[142] You just don't know when or how or how big.

[143] Months after I left, I was finding out more and more information all the time.

[144] By the end of it, he admitted to sleeping with at least 60 women behind my back or more.

[145] He really could not tell me the number of women.

[146] And he said, I don't know, there were so many I lost track.

[147] It was probably around 60.

[148] But he kept saying, but I never cheated on you while you were pregnant.

[149] I don't really believe that.

[150] But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter.

[151] He filed for legal separation on the 29th of May. He was trying to force me back to Washington.

[152] He had posted on his social media that I kidnapped Emerson, that he was going to try to fight for her and go to court to force me to come back.

[153] I then get a lawyer and refile, but file for divorce, because I have no interest in having a legal separation.

[154] This made it so that we would eventually have court, but we would need a temporary parenting plan since he was trying to force me back.

[155] He tries to come June 3rd for my birthday, and I tell him, I don't want you coming.

[156] And he flips out on me. This is when he threatens to get rid of my cats.

[157] I had two cats, Maude and Margo.

[158] When I was leaving Seattle, I could not bring my cats with me. He wouldn't let me either.

[159] That was part of it, too, because he knew that I would want to come back for them and that I wouldn't feel comfortable just leaving them forever with him.

[160] I also need to protect my daughter.

[161] I felt I can find somebody to watch the cast.

[162] And he was like, no, I want to do it.

[163] I want to show you that I'm changing.

[164] I did not feel good about it.

[165] But at the same time, that couldn't be what kept me there.

[166] On May 28, 2013, I posted Seattle Friends.

[167] I haven't made it back to Seattle to pick up the rest of my things and my cat.

[168] Jake's threatening me and saying he's going to take Maud and Margo to the shelter.

[169] Anyone know of anybody who could foster my cats until I can get there and get my things.

[170] Please let me know.

[171] Thank you.

[172] One of my girlfriends, a past coworker, she said, I can watch your cats for me. no problem.

[173] She went and she got my cats.

[174] When I would come and visit, I would see them.

[175] When I went to get them back, since I was living with my brother, it wasn't really like super ideal to have cats there since he's allergic.

[176] She said to me, are you going to take your cats back?

[177] And I said, do you want me to take my cats back?

[178] And she's like, I really don't want you to take your cats back and I said, do you want them?

[179] And she's like, absolutely.

[180] I love them.

[181] I want them.

[182] Like, please can I have your cats?

[183] And I said, yeah, you can have them.

[184] So I went to her house, spent time with them.

[185] And I just kind of said goodbye to them.

[186] And she was amazing to them.

[187] They lived a wonderful life with her as really shitty as it was.

[188] I'm happy they went with her because she's amazing and she's a great cat mom.

[189] He did come later in June.

[190] I didn't want him coming for my birthday, but that's when he took me out to dinner for my birthday and told me to look into his eyes and tell him it was over.

[191] I did.

[192] And then he said, no, look into my eyes and tell my soul that it's over.

[193] And I said, it's over.

[194] I'm done.

[195] I don't want anything to do with you.

[196] other than co -parenting our daughter.

[197] And he's like, how could you say that to me?

[198] And I'm like, what are you talking about?

[199] Where have you been?

[200] Because this is a shitstorm that I've been living in.

[201] You've been horrendous to me. There were times while Melissa was pregnant.

[202] I can't remember exactly when, but he was in L .A. And he had driven to Orange County and was trying to find my work to, like, surprise me. He knew where I lived.

[203] Melissa would warn me and say he's coming down to California, just so you know, because I was scared of him showing up.

[204] He still had my key to my car.

[205] He would sometimes show up and go in my car and take things out.

[206] I'm pretty sure he took my car one time because it wasn't where I parked it.

[207] He would use my community pool all during times where he wasn't there to see.

[208] Emerson.

[209] He just was showing up.

[210] It was really scary and I leave for work at 4 a .m., so I'm really nervous, and so I'd carry my pepper spray with me. It was a very weird time.

[211] I felt a little paranoid.

[212] I felt like I was being watched.

[213] I'm Dan Taberski.

[214] In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York.

[215] I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad.

[216] I'm like, stop around.

[217] She's like, I can't.

[218] A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast.

[219] It's like doubling and tripling, and it's all these girls.

[220] With a diagnosis, the state tried to keep on the down low.

[221] Everybody thought I was holding something back.

[222] Well, you were holding something back.

[223] Intentionally.

[224] Yeah, well, yeah.

[225] No, it's hysteria.

[226] It's all in your head.

[227] It's not physical.

[228] Oh, my gosh, you're exaggerating.

[229] Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem?

[230] Or is it something else entirely?

[231] Something's wrong here.

[232] Something's not right.

[233] Leroy was the new date line and everyone was trying to solve the murder.

[234] A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios, Hysterical.

[235] Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[236] You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.

[237] She struck him with her motor vehicle.

[238] She had been under the influence and she left him there.

[239] In January 2022, local woman Karen Reed was implicated in the mysterious death of her boyfriend, Boston, police officer John O 'Keefe.

[240] It was alleged that after an innocent night out for drinks with friends, Karen and John got into a lover's quarrel en route to the next location.

[241] What happens next?

[242] Depends on who you ask.

[243] Was it a crime of passion?

[244] If you believe the prosecution, it's because the evidence was so compelling.

[245] This was clearly an intentional act.

[246] And his cause of death was blunt force trauma with hypothermia.

[247] Or a corrupt police cover -up.

[248] If you believe the defense theory, however, this was all a cover -up to prevent one of their own from going down.

[249] Everyone had an opinion.

[250] And after the 10 -week trial, the jury could not come to a unanimous decision.

[251] To end in a mistrial, it's just a confirmation of just how complicated this case is.

[252] Law and crime presents the most in -depth analysis to date of the sensational case in Karen.

[253] You can listen to Karen exclusively with Wondery Plus.

[254] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

[255] Another time, he was in the park across the street.

[256] And my brother went over and told him he needed to leave.

[257] And he got all pissed off and posted on his social media, my brother yelling at him.

[258] He's like, it's a public park.

[259] I don't have to leave.

[260] Get out of here.

[261] And my brother's like, get the fuck out of here.

[262] What's wrong with you?

[263] You're stalking her.

[264] She doesn't want to see you.

[265] Get it through your head.

[266] she doesn't want anything to do with you.

[267] Leave.

[268] There was one time I was going to load my stuff.

[269] So I had to meet Jake.

[270] I had to meet him to try and get some of my stuff back.

[271] He had gotten a storage unit.

[272] It wasn't organized at all.

[273] It was like if you took everything and threw it into a room, that's what it looks like.

[274] He brings me into the storage place.

[275] It's inside because we're in Washington and it's cold.

[276] And I'm messaging Melissa.

[277] I'm going to tell you where I am.

[278] You need to call the police if I don't respond in an hour because I'm a little bit scared.

[279] He opens it up and he stands there and goes, there's your stuff.

[280] And he just stood out there and watched me. So I had to climb in.

[281] And all I could think is like, this motherfucker's going to close the door on me. The next time he comes is August 5th.

[282] This is when he brought Bowie with him.

[283] I did not know at the time that Melissa was also with them.

[284] So they flew down together from Washington.

[285] Apparently, I guess he was throwing a fit because Melissa had given him $500 and he said that that was not going to be enough money for him.

[286] I don't know why she's giving him money.

[287] She's pregnant and giving him money.

[288] And he's being abusive and awful to her.

[289] I'm like, do not give him any more money.

[290] And that's probably why she didn't tell me at the time that she was there because she probably knew I would get pretty upset with her.

[291] Not because she was there, but because she was allowing him to treat her like this.

[292] He is down here on the 5th, and we meet, we go to Huntington Beach.

[293] I get Emerson in the car.

[294] She rides with me because I have the car seat in my car and I wasn't going to move it to his rental because then I just have to.

[295] move it back.

[296] Bowie rode with him and I'm halfway there and he messages me I had an accident and I was like, oh no, are you okay?

[297] I'm rapid messaging him.

[298] Is everything okay?

[299] Do you need me to come and pick up Bowie so that you can sort out whatever issue you're having?

[300] I assumed he's talking about a car accident because what other accident would there be?

[301] And then he says, no, Kaylin, not that kind of accident.

[302] I peed in my pants.

[303] I was like, what?

[304] What?

[305] I like don't even understand that.

[306] You're a dude.

[307] You could just like pee out the car if you really needed to.

[308] Like you don't necessarily need a bathroom.

[309] Bowie had said later, he told Melissa that he gripped the steering wheel really hard and was shaking and then started yelling and he peed himself.

[310] He's like, no, I don't want anything from you.

[311] I'm taking him back to the hotel.

[312] I got out of seeing him that day.

[313] He then apparently had Bowie wait in the car for him.

[314] He went upstairs to their hotel room and attempted to clean himself off.

[315] And then I guess Melissa showed up.

[316] And he was like, go get me cigarettes.

[317] Bowie needs to eat.

[318] Get him food.

[319] So she went and got him pizza, got him cigarettes.

[320] She's like a freaking saint.

[321] She's very pregnant.

[322] Due in January, this is August.

[323] Here's Melissa's friend, Amy.

[324] Melissa and I became friends in 2011.

[325] We both had people that we loved to pass away in Afghanistan.

[326] For me, it was a previous boyfriend.

[327] He had crashed in a helicopter crash with Melissa's friend, Rob.

[328] And there was a memorial page for my past.

[329] boyfriend.

[330] She reached out to me. We connected that way, and we were going through some grief that I don't think the average person could really understand.

[331] Eventually, we started talking on the phone and started meeting in person when she would come to California.

[332] I want to say I'd met him in 2013 for the first time when she came out here to visit.

[333] My impression of him, before I met him, I wasn't so sure about him just from certain things I had heard.

[334] I could already tell he was being manipulative and she was having to pay for a lot of things.

[335] When this is happening with one of your friends, you don't want to say too much bad stuff to upset them, but I already had kind of my radar on before meeting him, especially because I knew like his history with his ex -wife.

[336] I met him when we were at downtown Disney.

[337] I remember she paid for everything.

[338] I knew that the trip and stuff was kind of an expense for her in general, so I was just kind of shocked that she was paying for his dinner and his child's dinner.

[339] And dessert.

[340] Not that it's not okay for girls to pay for dates here and there, but he didn't even offer.

[341] It was like he expected her to pay for their meal.

[342] It was rubbing me wrong because I knew that from her sharing some things, she was already giving him money and helping him pay for stuff for his kid and like loaning him this and that.

[343] And I just thought, it's a grown man with his child.

[344] Melissa has her own family and her own kids to take care of and stuff.

[345] It seemed a little bit inconsiderate and entitled.

[346] It was my first time meeting him.

[347] So he was on his his best behavior and I could tell he was trying to impress me. It didn't work, but I got that vibe.

[348] Later, we went back to their hotel room and I was talking to Melissa and I said, I was craving gummy bears for some reason.

[349] He left the room and came back with gummy bears.

[350] You would say, oh, that's so thoughtful.

[351] But to me, it was a very obvious, like, look, I'm a good person.

[352] I heard you talking about gummy bears.

[353] I'm going to bring you back gummy bears.

[354] He didn't bring Melissa back anything, anything for his kid.

[355] It was just a little bit weird.

[356] Like, what did you bring Melissa.

[357] I'm not trying to sound like a total bitch that doesn't appreciate gummy bears, but it just seemed very fake.

[358] I said thank you and everything, but it was just a little odd.

[359] Melissa pays for your dinner, but you go get me gummy bears.

[360] I found out later that she had paid for their plane tickets and the hotel.

[361] I think he was supposed to pay for part of the hotel, and he ended up stiffing her.

[362] So she ended up getting stuck with everything.

[363] If I would have known what I know now at the time about him, I think I would have said more.

[364] I remember her telling me she was pregnant.

[365] I was like, oh, man, with this guy.

[366] I was really worried.

[367] I think she was too, but also happy, but also worried because of how he is.

[368] She would tell me some of that stuff.

[369] She was afraid for her safety, afraid for the baby's safety.

[370] He was even saying stuff about Rob, the one that I knew that died.

[371] Like, he deserved to die.

[372] Some pathetic soldier, and he got himself into it, and maybe you'll die like him.

[373] She was showing me some of these texts and he was just like, I hate you, you're the worst.

[374] And then it'd be like a week later, he'd be like, I'm sorry, I care about you, blah, blah, blah.

[375] And it'd be like, I need money, I need this.

[376] It was just an emotional roller coaster of abuse, in my opinion.

[377] When she was at her most vulnerable, pregnant and afraid for her future, for the baby's future, he wanted her to get rid of the baby or essentially harm herself or die.

[378] And I remember thinking, what a fucking Psycho?

[379] September, we have our first court hearing.

[380] He asks for a continuance, basically says he's not ready.

[381] So they gave him a judgment to pay me $500 for my lawyer fees, which he never paid, of course, going forward.

[382] My lawyer would pretty much file things for him because he would go to file things incorrectly, and they would then file things correctly for him, which would infuriate me. But at the same time, they're like, well, don't you want this over?

[383] Which, of course, they did.

[384] So then it's like, okay, fine, do what you need to.

[385] He's sending them emails.

[386] So every time they have any correspondence, they're billing me. To get custody of my daughter and have our temporary orders in place and our final parenting plan in place was $33 ,000.

[387] The reason why it was so expensive was mostly because of things that he did trying to force me back and then needing temporary orders.

[388] When we did finally go back, I flew back.

[389] He has everything filed now.

[390] So now he has his statement saying, obtunalize, saying I said I would come back and then now all of a sudden I'm going back on my word.

[391] It's like, that's because you got somebody pregnant while you're being better.

[392] He wrote in there how much he's worked on himself and this and that.

[393] No, you're not, you're manipulating the whole situation and not being honest.

[394] I think that the judge saw through that I had letters from Emerson's pediatrician.

[395] She had never met him ever.

[396] She asked me, are you okay?

[397] What's going on at home?

[398] Are you safe?

[399] Is she safe?

[400] And I said, I think so.

[401] I don't think anything would happen.

[402] But, Probably something would happen to me before I would happen to her, but know that if that ever happened, he is responsible.

[403] She made note of that in our file.

[404] And she wrote a statement for me for court.

[405] My boss wrote a statement for me. I also had a statement from Chris.

[406] I had the car bill from when he jumped on their car and the damage that he did there.

[407] I had a lot of paperwork for the judge to go through.

[408] She felt that I proved that he was a threat to me, but I did not prove that he was a threat to Emerson.

[409] I was granted a restraining order, but not for her.

[410] So it was more of a like a disturbing the peace restraining order.

[411] I could call the police and because I have a restraining order, it should help me. They went with my proposed parenting plan, which was he could see her once a month, every third weekend of the month because that's when he didn't have Bowie.

[412] He could see her for six hours at a time and no overnight visits.

[413] And he was supposed to call her every Monday night at 7 o 'clock.

[414] I think he may be called her 10 times total.

[415] He comes for Emerson's birthday.

[416] She doesn't want to see him.

[417] I'm trying to make it okay for her.

[418] So I'm saying you only have to see him a couple more times and then he goes back.

[419] Both of us were having nightmares.

[420] I was waking up in the night screaming.

[421] She was talking about snakes coming to get her.

[422] And so I was trying to make it okay for her.

[423] I wasn't thinking about him or his feelings while I'm telling her this.

[424] When we got our temporary plan, it said that we needed a need at a public place.

[425] And the public place we decided on was Target.

[426] Emerson had said something to him, like, I only have to see you one more time and then I don't have to see you.

[427] and he lost his shit.

[428] He thought that I was saying she doesn't have to see him anymore ever or something to that effect, which we have orders now.

[429] I have to let you see her.

[430] I'm not withholding.

[431] He locks her in the car and he comes and confronts me and she's watching.

[432] She can see everything that's going on and he's screaming at me. I get my phone out to call the police because I have a keep the peace restraining order I go to call the police and he rips my phone out of my hands.

[433] In the process of doing this, he hit me in the chest and it caught my necklace, so it was leading a little bit and then it was bruised the next day.

[434] From Emerson's view, she thought he hit me. Somebody else was like, hey, do you need me to call the cops?

[435] And I was like, yes, please.

[436] So he gives me my phone back.

[437] The police come.

[438] They're questioning him.

[439] They're questioning me. I'm like, he leaves tomorrow.

[440] They issue me a temporary restraining order because the one that I have is not valid in the state of California.

[441] They were like, you need to leave and leave her alone.

[442] They want him to leave.

[443] They're like, he goes back to Washington tomorrow.

[444] You know, have this so that you have it.

[445] You could file it or don't.

[446] Anytime Emerson saw a police officer, she would say, remember that time when my dad hit you?

[447] And I would have to say, well, I don't think he was trying to hit.

[448] me. I think he just hit me on accident because he was trying to grab my phone from me. And she's like, yeah, but he hit you.

[449] I'm like trying to make it okay with her because she is going to have to go with him again.

[450] How awful for her to see that and then have to go with him another time.

[451] I started being a little bit more fearful of him.

[452] And my mom would try and do drop -offs and pickups if she could.

[453] If she wasn't able to, then I would do it.

[454] But we met at the police station after that.

[455] This whole time, he was not paying me child support.

[456] He'd give me money here and there.

[457] At that September court date, when they did a continuance, she did set child support.

[458] When he sold his salon, he got $12 ,000.

[459] He did not leave it in his bank account because he owed me money at that time for child support.

[460] And if he left money in his account, they would clean it out.

[461] Currently, he's behind $22 ,000.

[462] That's just me alone.

[463] During the temporary orders to the final orders, he only saw Emerson for one visit between.

[464] We finally got our divorce April 22nd of 2014.

[465] We went to the mediator.

[466] Initially, he had said he wanted summers in Seattle.

[467] He had asked for way more visitation than he was allotted in the temporary order my lawyer, she would ask me, what are you willing to bend on?

[468] He wanted to have her from Friday through Sunday every third weekend.

[469] I said absolutely not.

[470] He cannot have her for overnights.

[471] She's literally spent two days away from me. I'm not going to agree to that.

[472] And then he said, okay, well, I want one overnight with her.

[473] My lawyer said, maybe you agree to after he comes for five consecutive visits.

[474] And he's showing he's consistent, he can have one overnight.

[475] I said, fine.

[476] We went with the, he needed to come three times in a six -month period to get one overnight.

[477] And you could build on it, but he needed to be consistent.

[478] If he could be consistent, call her and visit her, then I felt better about it.

[479] I didn't feel good about it when he's not even calling her in between because it's so hard.

[480] He's like a stranger.

[481] So much changes between six months between a visit that I'm like, it is too confusing for her.

[482] I pretty much got, for the most part, what I wanted in it, like that he needs to keep her on a vegan diet during his time with her.

[483] He needed to stop talking about me on social media and on the internet, something that he never followed through with.

[484] I found myself living in more fear in the times when he was being.

[485] nice, because I knew what followed.

[486] The nice was absolute chaos.

[487] I never knew how bad it was going to be.

[488] If it was going to be just a minor blow -up, or if it was going to be him lashing out and telling me that he wanted me to die, or if it was him attacking my car, we stayed in that pattern until November, two months before my due date.

[489] He finally admitted to me that during the time frame that Kalin had moved to California, all this time he had been blaming me for ruining his family and for him losing his daughter and losing his wife and all of this, he admits to me, well, I was actually sleeping with her best friend during that time frame.

[490] Even though she had tracking devices on my phone, I would leave my phone at home and I would take my iPad.

[491] If I got a message from her, I could still respond to it.

[492] But if she looked, it would look like I was at home.

[493] This best friend, whose name was Lisa, she lived with her husband, and her husband apparently worked out of town a lot.

[494] And so whenever the husband was out of town, Jake would stay at their house with her.

[495] I was so disgusted by not only that, but him admitting.

[496] that during those months, too, that he was soliciting for random sex off of Craigslist.

[497] He told me it was probably upwards of like a dozen women that he slept with in the weeks after Kalin moved to California.

[498] And I just thought you've blamed me for ruining your marriage, but you're sleeping with so many people.

[499] How is that my fault?

[500] How can you not look at your actions and see that your actions are what destroyed your marriage?

[501] It wasn't one person.

[502] When you've cheated with probably 60 people during your marriage, how are you blaming one person for your marriage falling apart?

[503] Any time that I brought this up, he could not take any accountability at all for any of it.

[504] When he finally admitted, which I had had suspicions about the best friend, and I had even told Kalin, the way he talks about Lisa, it makes me really uncomfortable.

[505] I think there might be something going on between them.

[506] I don't think she wanted to believe it, and he always denied it to me until that one day when he finally did admit it, told me how he got away with it, all the effort that went into it, all of the months of his abuse, the up and the down and the back and the forth, and him blaming me and the guilt and confusion and sadness and everything that I had felt, it all kind of boiled up at that point for me. and I lashed out at him and told him, you make me sick.

[507] You are the worst person I have ever met in my life.

[508] I don't ever want to talk to you again.

[509] You disgust me. Everything about you is disgusting.

[510] You're just horrible.

[511] I can't even put into words how horrible you are.

[512] He's like, well, what am I supposed to do without you?

[513] I said, I don't really give a shit what you do.

[514] Go work on your photography.

[515] Just leave me alone.

[516] That night, he starts sending me. me pictures.

[517] He has set up a photo backdrop in his hair salon that he owns and is now living in.

[518] He has a full photo shoot with a gun in one shot holding the gun to his head.

[519] In one shot, he's holding it in his mouth.

[520] It's this whole series of photos.

[521] And he's sending them to me one by one.

[522] I said, are you trying to push me over the edge?

[523] What are you even doing?

[524] He said, oh, no, don't get it twisted.

[525] I'm working on my photography.

[526] It's art. I said, I don't want anything to do with this.

[527] Are you going to post those?

[528] And he said, no, people would think I'm crazy.

[529] Why would I show anyone else these?

[530] I said, oh, so they're just for my benefit.

[531] I think he knew that I was done with him.

[532] I didn't want anything to do with him.

[533] I didn't even really want to communicate with him.

[534] And the very next day, he informed me that he was back on Tinder and he was going to be dating and we went back to me getting to hear about every new love of his life that he found.

[535] It was just woman after woman.

[536] He's about to be homeless because his lease on his salon is about to be up and all of his stylists have quit and refused to work for him.

[537] He's not going to have a place to live.

[538] He doesn't have anywhere else to go.

[539] And he's really not even working that much.

[540] He admitted to me that he's trying to make it look like he's broke because they're going to set his child support.

[541] And he'll do anything he can to avoid having to pay Kalen.

[542] She doesn't deserve it because she left is his reasoning.

[543] He would tell me things that are pretty unbelievable because I'm not going to sit on that information and not do anything with it.

[544] Scammers are best known for living the high life until they're forced to trade it all in for handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit once they're finally caught.

[545] I'm Sachi Cole.

[546] And I'm Sarah Haggy.

[547] And we're the host of scam influencers, a weekly podcast from Wondery that takes you along the twists and turns of some of the most infamous scams of all time the impact on victims and what's left once the facade falls away.

[548] We've covered stories like a Shark Tank certified entrepreneur who left the show with an investment but soon faced mounting bills an active lawsuit followed by Larry King and no real product to push.

[549] He then began to prey on vulnerable women instead, selling the idea of a future together while stealing from them behind their backs.

[550] To the infamous scams of Real Housewives stars like Teresa Judice, what should have proven to be a major downfall only seemed to solidify her place in the Real Housewives Hall of Fame.

[551] Follow Scamfluencers on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[552] You can listen to Scamfluencers early and ad -free right now on Wondry Plus.

[553] He would tell me, you know, they keep garnishing my checking account because I'm not paying my child support.

[554] I'm figuring ways around it.

[555] I have, like, all my money in PayPal now, and they won't be able to take it.

[556] I called Kalin, and I said, you can let the state know.

[557] He's hiding his money in his PayPal account.

[558] He had asked me at one point, would you open a checking account for me and keep it in your name so they can't take my money?

[559] The answer to that was obviously no. I knew that he was about to be homeless, and he wasn't even.

[560] remotely trying to make enough money to pay for his own place.

[561] So the next natural thing would be to find a woman that he can move in with.

[562] It was always, oh, she's beautiful and she lives in a houseboat.

[563] Or this one has a really good job and she lives in this really nice apartment.

[564] It was always about their houses.

[565] I knew that he was targeting women based on if he thought he could move in with them or not.

[566] So he met this one girl and she did live in a houseboat.

[567] They seemed to be fairly serious from really early on.

[568] But he told me I did not tell her I have a baby on the way.

[569] And Kailen and I said, okay, well, one of us needs to tell her then because that's really wrong, that he's just hiding all of this information.

[570] I messaged her anonymously and gave her Kailen's email.

[571] address.

[572] She contacted Kailen, and then Kailen actually had a phone conversation with her.

[573] She had no idea about 90 % of the stuff.

[574] She thought, oh, he only has the two kids.

[575] Once she found out the truth, she didn't stick around for very long.

[576] I was scheduled to be induced on January 10th, 2014.

[577] Another girl he had met, it was probably a week before that.

[578] He had sent me photos that he'd done like a photo shoot with this woman and he says look this is what someone worthy of being with me looks like and it's like pictures of them kissing under a bridge and i'm almost laughing at this point because it's so over -the -top stupid the stuff that he says when i don't react to that he he doesn't say much else i get a message the night before i'm scheduled to be induced he says i just want to let you know that i'm hoping you both die in childbirth tomorrow that's what i'm praying for.

[579] I didn't respond.

[580] I didn't acknowledge it in any way.

[581] The next morning, I go to the hospital and I had asked Chris, will you be there?

[582] Because obviously he's not going to and I don't want to go through all of this alone and I'm already comfortable with you.

[583] He had already told me he's not going to step up and be capable of being her dad.

[584] I would like to be her dad.

[585] So she's not growing up alone.

[586] And I'm not going to treat her any different than our kids.

[587] I care about you.

[588] I care about the baby.

[589] He was there for the birth.

[590] I had been at the hospital for probably an hour when I got a message from Jake.

[591] He said, I'm in a Greyhound bus.

[592] I'm heading over to be with you.

[593] This was like 12 hours later from him telling me that he hoped we both died during childbirth.

[594] My doctor can see my physical reaction to this text message.

[595] And she says, I'm putting security on your room.

[596] I don't want this man. up here, you can decide for yourself if you allow him up, but I'm going to put security on the room so that any visitor has to be approved.

[597] That way, you're not panicking, feeling like he's going to walk through the door at any point.

[598] He got to the hospital, maybe an hour before I started pushing, and he's like, I'm here.

[599] Let me know when I can come up.

[600] I said you can come up after she's here.

[601] You're not coming up before.

[602] Absolutely not.

[603] It's not happening.

[604] My daughter Ivy was born, he came up for about 10 minutes, took a picture and left.

[605] He posted the picture on Instagram and didn't specify whose baby she was.

[606] It was incredibly isolating.

[607] The whole situation from day one to the very last date that I ever had contact with Jake, it changed the way that I view the world.

[608] I've never viewed anything in life the same.

[609] It changed everything about me. The way that I interact with people, the way that I view people, the way that I view the world and society.

[610] It was like having a rug ripped out from underneath you, trying to find your footing to stand back up.

[611] And every time you try and stand up, the rug gets ripped out from underneath you again.

[612] So you're trying to find balance or something stable to hold on to get you through all of it.

[613] I'm so thankful that I had, Chris, and I'm so thank you.

[614] thankful I had Kalyn.

[615] Courtney and Kalin from the very beginning of my pregnancy were there to tell me it's not you.

[616] It's him.

[617] Don't feel like there's something wrong with you.

[618] Don't feel like you're doing something wrong.

[619] This is who he is.

[620] You can't change it.

[621] So do your best to cope with it.

[622] There was a day towards the end of my pregnancy.

[623] I was so worn down.

[624] I felt suicidal.

[625] I felt confused.

[626] I felt like I can't even function in day -to -day life because I'm so broken.

[627] Everything felt broken.

[628] I wasn't even living day -to -day.

[629] I was getting through an hour.

[630] One of those little moments I had reached out to him and I said something to the effect of, please don't judge me. I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown.

[631] And he said back to me, oh, I won't judge you.

[632] I don't give a shit.

[633] He expects everyone to always have empathy and compassion for him.

[634] And when someone else is in a low moment, he's like, I don't care.

[635] It's hard for me to wrap my head around.

[636] Even to this day, it's hard for me to understand him and how evil he is and the things that he's done to so many women.

[637] It's heartbreaking and sickening.

[638] It makes me angry.

[639] I used to think, oh, maybe He's just really damaged and he's lashing out at people.

[640] It hasn't been until I actually got away from all of it that I thought there's no way.

[641] So much of this is intentional and I think he knows what he's doing.

[642] I don't think he regrets any of it.

[643] I truly don't.

[644] The moments where it's like a mask slipping and he's letting his true self be seen for moments.

[645] The lashing out and the rage, he snaps.

[646] It makes me legitimate.

[647] scared for any woman, really any person that's near him when he does, because I, with every ounce of my being, believe that he's capable of killing someone.

[648] I hate to say that I feel like that's where this story could end someday, but he is so evil.

[649] That's when Mimi comes into the picture.

[650] That's next time on something was wrong.

[651] She fought back and he ended up choking her until she blacked out.

[652] I had a knock on my door.

[653] It was a police officer.

[654] I was really confused why there was a cop at my front door.

[655] Breaking people down to the point that they don't feel like they have a choice to say no. Whether it be filming them or just having sex with, him.

[656] What the fuck, man!

[657] I'm recording you just saying.

[658] I don't get a fuck if you're going to quit.

[659] What are you going to do?

[660] Put it online.

[661] Thank you so much for listening.

[662] Until next time, stay safe, friends.

[663] Something Was Wrong is a broken cycle media production.

[664] Created and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese.

[665] If you'd like to support the show further, you can share episodes with your loved ones, leave a positive review, or follow Something Was Wrong on Instagram.

[666] at Something Was Wrong podcast.

[667] Our theme song was composed by Gladrags.

[668] Check out their album, Wonder Under.

[669] Thank you so much.

[670] If you like Something Was Wrong, you can listen early and ad -free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[671] Prime members can listen ad -free on Amazon Music.

[672] Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery .com slash survey.