#130 - Duncan Trussell

[0] I don't know what a country try is, but God damn, I wish I had it in me. I wish I had some country work ethic.

[1] You know, that's dance or something, you know?

[2] Country work ethic?

[3] Fuck yeah.

[4] People talk about a guy who's got a country work ethic automatically, you know.

[5] You mean a man. You want to admire him.

[6] Yeah.

[7] You want to admire some dude.

[8] He could just shut his fucking mouth and throw some hay around.

[9] That's right.

[10] There's something about that that's admirable, right?

[11] Isn't it?

[12] Sure.

[13] It's amazing.

[14] like some wild west type movie shit yeah that seems like a great life guy who gets up early in the morning just fucking milks cows yeah till he can't walk anymore yeah the end the day he goes to sleep something admirable about that have you ever found an utter joe yes i think i have on fair factor pretty sure a goat one i gotta squeeze it i don't know if i did it i might might be imagining this it was so long ago um we had people suck on goat tits they had actually suck on it It was very phallic.

[15] It was really weird to watch, like, girls sucking on this tit, like, sucking milk off this.

[16] Tit looks like a black dick.

[17] It looks like a deformed, like a short, fat black dick.

[18] And these girls were sucking on these things, pulling milk out.

[19] It guys were, too.

[20] You know, it was, wow.

[21] So that goat is experiencing what is essentially a UFO abduction.

[22] It's mine cannot process what's happening.

[23] Well, there used to get.

[24] getting milked apparently because they milk them every day you know they squeeze on them yeah but imagine having just like things feeding on you and you don't know what why or what they're doing oh it's so demonic right yeah trapped in a cage yeah attached by a collar I think they were attached by a chain trying to make sense I mean they must in some way be trying to process what's happening oh and you know what they were elevated as well how weird was that they were up on least like platform so that people could get at them with their mouth like they didn't have to go under them if i'm pretty sure if i remember that correctly i might be imagining that as well but i remember imagine i remember being there thinking how bizarre it was these people are sucking on these animal parts on tv you know it feels real if you ever feel a cow one i just wonder if there's like a lot of gay farmers you know what you mean by it feels real like it feels like you're holding something that root the only thing that you've ever felt like that before is your dick so it feels like It just feels like a, it's like a fleshlight for men, women.

[25] You mean a dildo.

[26] Yeah.

[27] It is fucking strange that we drink the milk out of other animals.

[28] We make them make milk and then we drink it and we sell it.

[29] And it's super common.

[30] Totally normal.

[31] It's like we're parasites.

[32] We're cow parasites.

[33] We extract some of their fluid and we sell it and we add weird shit to it.

[34] We put chocolate in it.

[35] But apparently a lot of people believe that.

[36] eating dairy is not healthy for the human body and that you'll feel better your energy levels will be better if you just cut dairy out of your life I've heard that from so many people there's no way it can't be true but milk is delicious and so is ice cream and you can go fuck yourself I like cheese you know I'm not cutting dairy out I just went to I just went to Paris and I did you yeah did you Duncan I got super stoned how'd you get stoned in Paris I'll talk about it after with the podcast.

[37] You don't want to mention it on the podcast?

[38] No, good move, good move, good move, yeah.

[39] Just a friend out in Paris.

[40] Wow, that's nice.

[41] Lucky break.

[42] But, uh...

[43] But weed is illegal in Paris?

[44] How illegal is it?

[45] I don't know.

[46] I was standing next to someone openly smoking hash in the subway, so...

[47] Really?

[48] Yeah.

[49] So I don't know how illegal.

[50] I don't think anyone...

[51] I don't know.

[52] I have no idea.

[53] Wow.

[54] But I hadn't eaten there yet, and I was super stoned.

[55] And it was the first time I'd ever eaten, like, French cheese.

[56] And I almost passed out because it tasted so good.

[57] I swear to God, I got a momentary vertigo where I was like, I've been eating prison cafeteria food for my entire life because the food over there is better.

[58] Food in Paris is better.

[59] It comes straight from the countryside.

[60] Right now there are hundreds and thousands of dudes tweeting from all over the country going, why don't you fucking move there?

[61] I would if I could.

[62] Really?

[63] I've always thought they had the worst food until he said this because I always, I worked at a French restaurant once, and it was the worst food ever.

[64] Like the lobster bisque or something like that was the only thing that I thought was decent on the whole menu.

[65] What is it like a low -end restaurant?

[66] It was a really nice place?

[67] A French place?

[68] I'm not really familiar.

[69] I'm not as much of a food aficionado that I could tell you what French food really is.

[70] I know there's a place down the street from here.

[71] I really like that's supposedly French because they have foie gras.

[72] That's the French way of saying, right?

[73] This duck liver.

[74] It's delicious.

[75] It's rude as fuck They mouth fuck this poor goose I mean they mouth fuck this goose and force feed them It's kind of crazy It's a horrible horrible thing What is it their liver?

[76] No It's their liver mixed in with the shit They spray into them And it like flavors the liver That's what it is right It flavors the liver so that it tastes really good But it's so good Here's the weird thing It's God I think this is going to piss everybody off They're not already mad about me saying French fruits better, but it is better.

[77] Like, it's defined better.

[78] Like, what makes it better?

[79] They just use more butters that's more, like, they don't give a hundred calories and stuff?

[80] I mean, in France, I've got to imagine it's on another level.

[81] It just, like, it's more, it's more intense.

[82] It's like, I'm trying to think of a great way to explain it.

[83] It's like the volumes turned up a little bit more on it.

[84] Just flavor -wise?

[85] Yeah, the flavor's better.

[86] It's just, it's like, they like, the way they cook it, this place that we went to they were cooking we ordered this like rib platter for two and they cook this giant slab of meat on an open fire like above a fireplace and you can watch it in the restaurant and the restaurant feels like something out of like the 1600s or something and do you know why it feels like that because it's been around since the 1600s it's like old everything there's old old old old so it's like you're in this place where so many human lives have happened And I'm not saying that's why the food tastes better, but it's sure it's it's so good man It was it's really good well kind of make one one thing that I never appreciated I think before I watched Started watching that no reservations show was that that food for the preparation of food is really an art form It really truly is an art form I mean I kind of knew that abstractly and I always like appreciated good chefs But until I watch that show now then you see that guy's passion how he just describes food, how addictive it is.

[87] You know, what's the word I'm looking for?

[88] Not addictive.

[89] It's like, it's, it's, it's, it just gets you hungry.

[90] Like, it starts, like, the way he describes things, like I never get more hungry than when I'm watching that show.

[91] It's like you realize that people who are really badass chefs, all these guys, they're all like, they all have ideas and, and thoughts and like a method to how they prepare things.

[92] And it's so fascinating that it's just to maximize the impact that it has on the palate.

[93] And it's this strange art form, the art form of flavor.

[94] And I never really appreciated that until I watched that show.

[95] And then what you see, like, a really well -prepared dish.

[96] And you're like, wow, that guy just fucked me up with some crazy crab with squid ink pasta.

[97] And you realize that these creations of textures and combinations of flavors, It really is a badass art form.

[98] I never appreciated it before.

[99] Yeah, yeah, and you get this, when you taste something really good like that, you get a glimpse at how there's like this spectrum of sense gratification.

[100] And some people in some parts of the world have figured out ways to hit the higher ends of it.

[101] And so if you're, you know, only experiencing life at this one spectrum of it, then when you do like get something super high in like that, it's really intense.

[102] It's just a, it's amazing to think people eat like.

[103] that every day and also the weird thing about a lot of people in Paris they fucking eat so much and they eat all day long it seems like everything there is about eating or going out to eat with your friends and it's this very serious ritual like when you go to a restaurant it has the same energy of like you feel like you're in an air traffic control tower people are eating in this serious way it's like a like they're taking in an art or listening to a symphony in some of these restaurants not all of them but some of them it's intense and And there's like four waiters.

[104] They're dressed like super formally.

[105] There's kids being trained since they were like 15 to be waiters.

[106] And so it's this cultural, it's embedded into their culture and they've really refined it.

[107] And it's really fucking cool.

[108] But French people, the ones we say, you don't see fat people there.

[109] They're eating all the fucking time.

[110] But most of them are thin.

[111] Most of them seem like they're in shape.

[112] It's really weird.

[113] How do they do that?

[114] People say because there's no preservatives in the food.

[115] They eat like pure food that comes.

[116] from the countryside.

[117] That's what people say.

[118] I mean, I'd heard all this stuff, by the way, I'd heard it before I went.

[119] I read it.

[120] The food there's better.

[121] People are like thin.

[122] People are living life.

[123] And I was extremely skeptical.

[124] Like, whatever.

[125] It's that Buddhist quote.

[126] I think I've said it on here.

[127] Some people will tell you, this place is better than that place.

[128] This country is better than this country.

[129] There's smarter people here than there.

[130] But I say to you, the whole world is on fire.

[131] Everywhere you go, people are consumed with the same fears and worries and it's all the same the buddha did not eat ribs in fucking paris because that place is different it's better it's fucking nice man the subway signs they all look like the lettering the font that they use in absent bottles like yeah it's fucking trippy and cool and i'll shut up about paris because i must sound like an asshole but we uh you know about the catacombs of paris no you were describing this to me this is the most scary shit I've ever seen in my life that didn't I did not know existed and there's more than one well I saw photos once of a church but just explain to everybody what it is so underneath Paris basically and I don't know the exact history behind this but what happened is I think because of the black plague everyone starts dying they're having these mass die -offs and they were they ran out of room in the cemeteries so they had to dig up all the bones from the cemeteries surrounding Paris and they took them under Paris into these limestone quarries and created these things called ossilaries which are these open -air crypts and someone has gone in basically so to get there you go down these winding steps that go down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down to a point where you start feeling like you're going crazy because you just keep seeing more steps and more steps and more steps and more steps and your mind starts saying you are going deep deep underground like we're talking like out of breath on the stair master steps like way down to the quarries under the city and you sort of walk around and then suddenly you come out into hallways of bones just yellowed old french bones that someone is stacked into uh patterns like crucifixes and it looks like the texas chance on massacre house when you go it went in the movie where they have bone sculptures everywhere it's like that they've just someone just took like a shitload of femurs and it's like i think i could make a crucifix out of this and like so there's a cross in the middle there's stacks of skulls they say there's nine million skeletons down there oh nine million so nine million lives are completely anonymous now no one knows who the fuck they are all you see is just there's no names there's not a wall listing who's down there it's just row upon row upon row of skulls and skulls and i swear to god it's got to be the worst job on the planet i passed this french kid whose job is to sit in a lawn chair down there and observe people to make sure they don't steal bones and i walked by the kid and he was like pale and sick because it's damp down there and it kind of sounded like he was talking to himself in french he kind of seemed out of his mind he just sits in bones all day best place to rape Ever, though, right?

[132] If you're going to rape and murder somebody, take them down there.

[133] That'd be perfect.

[134] Well, it gets weirder.

[135] So, as it turns out, under Paris, the catacombs that the tourists are in, that's only a fraction of the catacombs.

[136] There is miles and miles and miles of winding catacombs.

[137] One of our waiters told us that people go down there and they get lost and they find them down there and they've starved to death in the fucking catacombs.

[138] Oh, my God.

[139] You fucking die.

[140] You get lost.

[141] You go down there in the dark, the flashlight runs out.

[142] No one's coming down there and you're fucking dead.

[143] Oh my God.

[144] It gets even weirder.

[145] These fucking French police, it's on the internet.

[146] Jesus.

[147] I'm just freaking out and thinking about dying that way.

[148] Could you imagine your fucking flashlight goes out?

[149] And it's so far down too.

[150] It's like a basement of earth.

[151] Just that last moment of light and then nothing.

[152] Blackness.

[153] How?

[154] You start, you would.

[155] start hearing things.

[156] Oh my God.

[157] Start hearing things.

[158] Hello?

[159] You'd start seeing things.

[160] You probably wouldn't.

[161] They don't send people down there looking for folks.

[162] No, not some French mime who got depressed and decided he was going to go down and take a break in the catacombing.

[163] Oh my God.

[164] So is it open to anyone?

[165] Yeah.

[166] The Parisian teenagers have their own entrances and they bring turntables and speakers down there and have dance parties.

[167] Oh my God.

[168] So fucking cool.

[169] We want to go down there and take ayahuasca with you, Joe.

[170] So we're going to...

[171] What the fuck, did you imagine?

[172] What a terrific combination that would be.

[173] Oh, yeah.

[174] You would die, right?

[175] Right, yeah.

[176] Instant death.

[177] Well, you would definitely never be saying again.

[178] Right.

[179] You'd probably just be absorbed with the energy of what it must have been like to see.

[180] Millions of people just rot in front of you by some incurable disease that was inescapable.

[181] Yeah.

[182] And you had just had a hope that some of the genetics would carry on that some people would be able to live through this shit.

[183] If you ever get serious about your life, that is a cure is to see nine million skulls.

[184] I'll never do that.

[185] Come on, man, does it really make you less serious about your life?

[186] It just, you know, it just lets you know, yeah, it lets you know that there's, we're very fortunate that shit's going this way.

[187] We're very fortunate.

[188] We were born in 2000.

[189] We're alive in 2011.

[190] We're very fortunate.

[191] You know, just a little while ago, stuff was terrible.

[192] Yeah.

[193] You know, I joke around about being on stage, like when we were in Philly.

[194] And I was going, do you know why the streets are so narrow around here?

[195] Because they were made by people riding fucking horses.

[196] Right.

[197] Like, wrap your head around that.

[198] This city was designed by people who thought, well, we just need a place to put the horses.

[199] This is where the horses are going to run.

[200] Like, everybody got around in a fucking city on horses.

[201] Well, there's a, you know, there's this thing I just read about this famous, I think he was an obstetrician.

[202] He died in a mental asylum.

[203] It was on Reddit.

[204] He died in a mental asylum.

[205] This was way back, I don't know the exact time, but it was when they still believed in the humors of the body.

[206] Their idea of the way the body worked was based on, you know, bloodletting.

[207] And they didn't know that they thought they didn't know that flies came from fly eggs.

[208] They thought there was something called spontaneous generation where if you had the right elements in one place, it would produce a fly.

[209] They didn't know there were eggs.

[210] So they had these really, like, fascinating ways of understanding the universe.

[211] What year was this?

[212] I don't know the exact year.

[213] If you look up spontaneous generation, it'll pop up the year that they believe this.

[214] But there was an obstetrician who suddenly came up with this crazy idea.

[215] He thought that if doctors washed their hands between handling, like doing an autopsy or handling a dead body and delivering a baby, then maybe the mothers wouldn't die as much as they were dying of this infection called pleurosis.

[216] So he's like, we should start maybe washing our hands, guys, after you handle the rotting corpse and then put your hand in that lady's pussy.

[217] Why don't you wash your hands?

[218] And doctors were like, you're a fucking lunatic.

[219] You think washing, you think if we wash our hands after we handle a corpse and touch a woman's open, open, dilated pussy that it's going to keep her from getting the infections they've been getting, a gentleman's hands are always clean.

[220] That's what the doctor said.

[221] no joke so this guy tried all these experiments and he dropped the death rate in one of these like wards where women are giving birth to 1 % where it was 30 % in other places and he kept talking you've got to wash your hands you wash it with this kind of chemical mix and the people won't die you should wash your hands germs are getting into people but they didn't know I don't think they knew what germs were anyway the guy died what did he think it was if it didn't think it was germs just poison which is evil witch brew what they think it was I don't know the explanation, but it's really interesting because it's kind of logical.

[222] You could see why they would think that, but they couldn't accept the idea that there was microscopic things floating around.

[223] Like, even though I guess you could see them in a microscope for some reason, they really wanted to deny this.

[224] In the same way now, when you talk about the idea that there might be extraditional aliens or interdimensional beings that you're seeing through the lens of a psychedelic, you tell that to anyone or most people.

[225] And they're like, you are fucking crazy.

[226] you new age fucking idiot anyway so the point is the guy died in an insane asylum for suggesting people wash their hands that's how dirty everything was back then that's how gross and infected everything was he died in an insane asylum died out of his mind and as he you know towards the end of his life they said he got dementia but I think it was just because he knew that he had discovered this thing that he proved he could save so many lives and no one would listen to him could you imagine dude if you were an advanced human and you were stuck in an in -advanced age that just refused to change.

[227] Could you imagine if you were a scientist from 2011 and all of a sudden you found yourself in the middle of Spanish Inquisition?

[228] Yeah.

[229] You were where everyone was ridiculous.

[230] Yeah.

[231] And people were just killing people.

[232] And it was insanity.

[233] You couldn't talk to anybody.

[234] Just religious fanaticism completely out of control.

[235] Yeah.

[236] And murder and all kinds of crazy shit was going on.

[237] Could you imagine?

[238] Yeah.

[239] That was your reality all of a sudden?

[240] Religious fanaticism, violent.

[241] wars raging everywhere.

[242] Totalitarian presidents, corporations running everything.

[243] Speaking of which, did you see this Michelle Bachman lady won the Iowa straw pole?

[244] Yeah.

[245] Totally.

[246] What the fuck is that?

[247] Because she's a fucking dominatrix.

[248] And those Republican boys like to get spanked.

[249] We are living in fascinating times.

[250] It's ripples like this.

[251] Like when you hear things like this, to me they're like, boom.

[252] Like little ripple.

[253] on your universe like wake up pay attention there's a lot more dumb people than you think a lot more yeah there's some painfully stupid people in this country a lot of them yeah tons of them yeah and they can't see that she's dumb because they're way dumber than her they're way dumber than her they have no idea she's dumb they think she's got a good message and they they don't let mind her crazy eyes they don't see the crazy eyes they don't see the gay husband.

[254] They don't see him.

[255] He seems like a nice fellow.

[256] He's praying the gay away.

[257] Pray the gay away.

[258] We're going to pray the gay away.

[259] We're going to pray the gay away.

[260] A bunch of men hold him hands.

[261] We're going to pray the gay away in their underwear, hugging each other shooting loads in their pants.

[262] This is a ridiculous institution.

[263] You were going to have to learn how to shoot a load in front of men without wanting men.

[264] What is it so hard for people to accept that people are gay?

[265] what do you give a fuck they're gay so what let them enjoy it what if it doesn't affect you as long as they're not trying to fuck you who cares yeah what i don't get it it doesn't make any sense you gonna pray it away we're gonna pray the gay away pray the gay away but you got to see you got to understand that relationship because i think about this relationship between michelle bachman and her husband who's clearly gay and he runs what is he's running a that's a sex dungeon with brian that that that that that Brian impression is really not that far off he's so unbelievably gay sounding he seems gay he seems gay we should say he seems gay I don't know that he's gay for sure but might not be practicing I do know that he's running a sex dungeon a sex dungeon yeah you know he is absolutely he's been to it that pray away the gay clinic that's a sex dungeon yeah for submissive gay guys Submissive gay guys go in there They go in it's like a fetish It's a it's like a fetish situation It's like these married gay guys Go into this place Where an expert Says that he's gonna use religion To help them overcome being gay The expert happens to seem like super gay Like super like he should be on the front Of his own float In a gay pride parade holding sparklers and like, I don't know, wearing, like, leather bras or something.

[266] That's how gay her husband seems, right?

[267] But he's in a suit now, and he's talking you in that stereotypical voice.

[268] He's saying, we can overcome this thing.

[269] James, I need you to tell me, though, every gay sexual encounter that you've ever had.

[270] You know, that's part of it, you know?

[271] Okay, I'll tell you.

[272] You got to hear it, I'll tell you, yeah.

[273] Once I blew 17 guys at a bear party in New Jersey, really.

[274] Are they alone when this is happening?

[275] Is it dark?

[276] Yeah, it's dim.

[277] It's dim in there.

[278] There's candles of Jesus candles.

[279] I guarantee that place is covered in pictures of the erotic Jesus, the six -pack Jesus.

[280] You ever seen those where Jesus is painted with a six -pack on the cross?

[281] It's got like a Jersey Shore situation happening.

[282] For real?

[283] But he's getting crucial.

[284] Oh, there's tons of it.

[285] Because it's supposed to be starvation, but we look at it as like, wow, that Jesus has been hot.

[286] That's like hardcore crunches.

[287] That's not starvation.

[288] But what happens is a lot of these people back when they were painting those pictures were just artists who were getting paid by the church and they needed to make money.

[289] But they liked the male form.

[290] And so they were painting like they were making Jesus hot.

[291] Sex Jesus.

[292] Erotic Jesus.

[293] Christianity.

[294] A lot of Christianity is fucking S and M. Think about it.

[295] The son of God.

[296] comes down to the world and what happens he tells the truth and he gets spanked and a crown of thorns and whipped with lashes and nailed to a fucking cross and everyone's into it like did you see the passion of the Christ yeah that's an S &M movie man I've been to the S &M clubs I know what it looks like they tie guys up to fucking crucifixes and whip him there all the time that's why I like black Jesus better the whole theory of him yeah what is the black Jesus theory but because Jesus was supposedly Sephardic wasn't he wasn't that was not the idea I don't know.

[297] He's hotter.

[298] He's hotter.

[299] I think it's what I think it goes from is that everything has to start from black, not white, you know?

[300] I think it's fascinating that people want to lay claim to something.

[301] You know, people want to, like, that black people would go, like, Jesus was black.

[302] Like, it makes, somehow that makes your life, if Jesus was even real.

[303] But it makes your life today in 2011, like you can lay claim to that.

[304] Like, we did that.

[305] You know, we did.

[306] How annoying is that?

[307] Like, you lay claim.

[308] Like Italians.

[309] Like, Italians.

[310] You know, we built that.

[311] We did that.

[312] you know we did that like it's not it's not really we dude we really in this group together here black jesus uh holding a baby black child wow let's find jesus dot com well hey man that's just as likely black jesus is just as likely as white jesus both of them are just so squirly and so you're just supposed to believe that the dude came back from the dead and that you know and that anybody would write that he would come back from the dead anything else they you would read from them would not be equally ridiculous you know because we understand dead now We understand that now.

[313] I mean, you're saying that we must discount all scientific knowledge ever just because there's an ancient book that says some stuff.

[314] And if you go along with it, you have to just assume that this was a one -time thing.

[315] And that this one time these amazing, miraculous things that defy science happened.

[316] We just have to assume that these people who barely could write shit down were super accurate about it.

[317] Like, it's ridiculous.

[318] But let's even think one step before that, which is the religion that they've built around this thing that, based on all scientific evidence, is possibly a myth.

[319] The religion they based around this character, Jesus, is nowhere close to the things the character said in the book that they read.

[320] Jesus didn't walk around saying, you need to go to church.

[321] Here's an idea.

[322] go to build a church and every Sunday go to the church and sit down in an uncomfortable seat and read prayers pre -written from people that you barely understand and then give 10 % of your income to this group of people and just trust that they're going to use it in the right way Jesus never said anything like that in the in the New Testament if you read this stuff mostly the idea of the thing seems to be if you love the people around you as much as you can and if you're tuned into God or the love force of the universe, and you love that too, then you are going to have a great life.

[323] That seems to be the message.

[324] You don't need a priest.

[325] You don't need a church.

[326] You don't need anybody.

[327] You don't have to follow the rules.

[328] At the time, he was, you know, in Judaism, there are very strict rules about how you were supposed to live.

[329] And he was saying, we don't have to follow these rules.

[330] I don't have to do anything that you're saying.

[331] I have my own direct connection with a super -intelligence, super abundance of the universe.

[332] And that's all I need.

[333] And so then they killed him.

[334] So you've got that.

[335] And then what builds up around it?

[336] Fucking Michelle Bachman.

[337] Pray away the gay, just like Jesus wanted.

[338] Jesus didn't want somebody sticking their tentacle in somebody's excretory tube.

[339] And Jesus wanted people straight.

[340] Only fucking vaginas.

[341] The creator of the universe, it gives them a migraine headache to know on this planet people are sticking their fucking genitals into other people's assholes.

[342] That's how does that get trans how does that get translated from basically the first hippie love each other tune into the super intelligence it's really creepy and weird well whenever you have some obscure and I don't want to say obscure but very difficult to put into modern words statement like whenever you read any of the any chapters of the Bible any any passages any things that people quote all the time there's a lot of the stuff you'll read it and you go whoa what exactly does that mean right like what is that you know trying to back up and and and decipher that into modern language what what was it originally you know I mean we know it all came from ancient Hebrew and then they kind take it from ancient Hebrew to Latin to Greek like what the fuck was what was you know it's totally different language what was the original meaning behind it well you got like but you know I used to when I was in college take LSD and read the New Testament and it was the most awesome psychedelic thing ever because you're reading it and you're thinking like this no matter what this is it's shaped so much of society these words are shaped so many people's lives and so just from that alone it's super psychedelic but what did it come from what's the original language what's it based on there's all these awesome ideas you know because there's a lot of books of the in the gospels that didn't make it into the final cut that are equally valid and are far more esoteric and have like really weird ideas.

[343] I've read stuff that it's based in like this form of religion called Gnosticism, which I don't know too much about.

[344] I've heard that it's like some weird desert cult called the Aseans or that it's somehow the formulation of all these different desert mysticism's kind of merging into the, you know, they embodied it in the form of this person to transmit this bigger information about.

[345] the idea that they're you know we're all children of some super intelligence and that if we give up our um greed and selfishness and love other people like we love ourselves then that would create like a you know if everyone did that then we would be living on paris this would be utopia we would be in some kind of super communist mystical spiritual state where everyone's completely connected with each other like imagine really feeling about everyone around you the same way you feel about yourself it means don't differentiate other people from your life no more differentiation we're all the same we're all completely connected we're all children of this universe and so we should treat each other love yeah that doesn't work with society though unfortunately like we would there would have to be some gigantic event that got rid of got rid of currency or got rid of the idea of competing for currency.

[346] Because as long as people are still competing, competing for job positions, competing their company against other companies, as long as there's capitalism going on, that push for money, that push to make money, you're always going to get this same kind of dushy, cinty, chimp -like behavior.

[347] You know, it's a competition.

[348] There's a, it's obvious, way obvious, that most people are working way harder than is both health.

[349] and is desirable they're working like ridiculous hours and pushing harder than ever because they need more money they want more money they need more money it's like there's a drive like a fucking wild machine behind it you know that's as long as that's there fuck man how are you gonna get everybody to just just have resources available you're gonna trust people to work you're gonna trust everyone to put in their share like all of us are gonna trust all of us and what do we do when someone doesn't if we're supposed to love them like we love ourselves are we just supposed to like let them just fuck everything up all around them and let them go into super sabotage spin out mode where they destroy everything in their vicinity and nobody stops them from doing that that's like a spoiled child we've seen that before yeah that's the other crazy aspect of Christianity is it's ultra pacifism it's like super pacifism and the message of the thing was supposed to be look this being that their killing is the physical manifestation of the universe.

[350] It could fight back.

[351] It could shoot lasers out of its eyes.

[352] It's a superhero, but it's letting itself, I don't know, I'm calling Jesus an it, whatever.

[353] It's letting itself get killed to give a message, and the message is this.

[354] There are some things that are more important in life.

[355] And if you want to get caught up in this dimension and you want to save your body, you want to try to save your body, go ahead.

[356] it's going to die no matter what you're dead meat it's like there's no way you're going to make it through this dimension no one no one makes it out alive whatever jim morrison said there's we all no one gets out of this alive we all die so if you want to like focus and fixate on protecting yourself fine but the idea is like the you're supposed to completely surrender to this energy right and then when in regard and once you really make that move which they say is an act of faith which I mean, by the way, this is purely speculation.

[357] I have not given my heart to Jesus.

[358] But I think about, you know, what would happen if you did just become completely...

[359] Everyone.

[360] Yeah.

[361] What would that be?

[362] I mean, obviously, it's not possible.

[363] Right.

[364] But why?

[365] And who would make cars and how would there be competition?

[366] How is there this, you know, how would there be any form of capitalism the way we have it right now?

[367] How would our society, the monetary system, how would it be set up the way it wouldn't be?

[368] It couldn't be.

[369] It's impossible.

[370] It's impossible.

[371] It couldn't exist.

[372] The church couldn't exist.

[373] Society couldn't exist.

[374] So how would we revamp it?

[375] How would we put it all into perspective, put it all into order?

[376] How would we ensure that everyone follows along with it?

[377] We're not, is that like a net, is that the next stage of evolution?

[378] Is the next stage of the idea that people have gotten to a point technologically where we can start to join together as one thing again.

[379] You know what I'm saying?

[380] Like that there had to be a certain peak of competition to get us to a point where we have created some really boundary dissolving technology and when that point happens, then through that very technology as in the internet, people slowly start to assimilate to some level of understanding and awareness that wasn't.

[381] previously achieved because there was this constant state of of competition to try to get to that technological point and that's where you run into a problem because once you start getting to that state that you're talking about and I think a lot of people are we at it right now yeah we are right yeah and that's when you get to that state and suddenly you're in Egypt because you're starting to understand about what's going on and you're you're getting this information from the internet showing you what other people in other parts of the world, how they're living.

[382] The point is suddenly like a lot of shit starts seeming really, like, we've been asked to believe a lot of stuff.

[383] And kind of like you ask your kids to believe a lot of stuff when they're growing up and you do it to keep them safe.

[384] You tell them these stories and you want them to believe it.

[385] But eventually, your kid knows that whatever story you told him about where the baby came, is coming from isn't completely real.

[386] And your kid's going to start wanting to know the truth.

[387] and then at that age you tell your kid the truth and it's uncomfortable or whatever you would tell them the truth but now it's like we still have kings we have kings and queens they're king there's still serious kings and you're expecting people to keep believing this king is any more special than anyone else okay you want me to keep buying this thing about the king about how he gets to wear the throne and gets to have the giant fucking mansion that he lives in and all this property he lives in because he's a king and he's in the bloodline of some what what are you talking about.

[388] We're all the same, man. I got to keep playing this fucking masquerade party with you and believe you're a king.

[389] How much longer do I have to do this?

[390] Because I'm hungry.

[391] It's like that kind of stuff where people are like, okay, okay, so you're a president?

[392] Oh, I get it.

[393] Okay.

[394] So I guess I'm supposed to believe that there's a government, which is mostly just like, what, 120 old men in a room.

[395] I'm supposed to believe they're the ones who know how to do everything and that system's the right way.

[396] And it's like all that stuff starts, you know, spreading where people are like, I don't know if I can believe the whole you're a cop I'm a person thing it's getting kind of hard for me I mean I believe it because you got a billy club and you're fucking beating my friend in a wheelchair to death but I'm not sure if you really represent the real authority of the world and so that kind of stuff starts emerging and emerging as people evolve and the authority in the world's like fuck you got to believe the game if you don't believe this fucking game we don't know what to do what are we going to do we can't just reformat everything all of a sudden I so do Do you think that law enforcement almost inhibits evolution by creating this culture where people are getting constantly in trouble with things?

[397] Yeah.

[398] You know what law enforcement?

[399] A lot of law enforcement is?

[400] It's delivery drivers for the prison industrial complex.

[401] They deliver fucking bags of gold to the prisons, drop them off of the door, and they fucking make so much money.

[402] I think we need cops.

[403] We need cops.

[404] No question about it.

[405] Watch that Richard Pryor joke about, like, we need prisons.

[406] Have you ever seen that?

[407] That's so funny, but we need, there are aspects and elements of society that need to be in a cage.

[408] Yes, absolutely.

[409] But, you know, you don't need to be in a cage for smoking pot.

[410] You don't need to be in a cage for taking acid or taking mushrooms.

[411] You don't need to be in a cage because you told people that the military was using fucking military choppers to gun down reporters.

[412] And you had the balls to tell that to the world.

[413] That's no reason to put someone in a cage.

[414] so it's like at some point a certain number of people realize okay this is like a kid's game this is a game of make -believe that went way too far and I don't feel like doing this game of make -believe anymore because it's destroying the planet so we've got to come up with a new game that works but how are you going to convince those 60 or 120 old fucking drooling men shitting their pants getting payoffs from the tobacco companies writing bullshit laws without hesitation how are you going to like convince you them like you know what do you guys mind going home and we're going to get some like young people in here because they understand the world we do understand the world but we don't understand the economic system yeah i know i'm sure some young people do there's young people right now protesting listening saying i know i understand it correct look i i know i don't i don't understand it all i understand is like that video did you see that video i sent you today did you watch that fucking thing oh it's a marine like, you know, he starts off and kind of dramatically rips off his, his fucking medals.

[415] And he's like, I'm not going to do it anymore.

[416] And then he just starts going into graphic depictions of the different innocent people he killed when he was in Iraq.

[417] Oh, my God.

[418] And how, like, the Marines act completely different when there's embedded with them a reporter than they do.

[419] And how the his, now, now is this real?

[420] I didn't investigate it.

[421] I hope it's not real.

[422] I hope it's, it seemed very real.

[423] He talked about how his squad commander, whatever, it's called said that they would congratulate them on their first kill and he said whichever one of you makes your first kill by stabbing someone to death i'm giving you four days leave and like it's like that kind of shit like how are you going to convince those guys that you know we should all just love each other and be darrell how do you stop it you don't you can't there's no way to stop it there's no way to stop it unless somebody invents something that I think would change the world and I'd be glad to tell you what it is.

[424] What is it?

[425] A genetic scientist needs to figure out a way to put LSD into the calm and cold so that any so that so that a psychedelic experience would spread like a virus through society.

[426] Whoa.

[427] And then like and but the problem with it is you'd have to figure out a way to design it so it only the tolerance is like really you huge to a person only gets it once.

[428] Oh, that's the problem with it.

[429] Who knows?

[430] Maybe there's a doctor out of it.

[431] He's like, the problem with it is.

[432] I think there's several problems with that.

[433] Well, there's some other problems, I suppose.

[434] It's not really up to you to decide whether people should be getting boasted.

[435] Are you trying to invent this right now in your house?

[436] Yeah, right.

[437] I'm not as chemist.

[438] I'm just throwing it out there.

[439] Oh, my God.

[440] You threw it out there.

[441] You really did, you fuck.

[442] Yeah, way to go.

[443] Somebody might be actually thinking about this.

[444] Well, I mean, what's so look, here's the idea.

[445] So, okay, so let's.

[446] just keep running things the way they're running.

[447] No, I don't think that's going on either, man. I think you're just not happy with the pace that things are accelerating, too.

[448] I don't think you can genetically engineer it on your own.

[449] Or can you?

[450] Maybe that's what you're there for.

[451] Maybe the guy who does that, that really is his purpose in the evolutionary chain.

[452] He was supposed to step in and just see a new leap that others weren't willing to take.

[453] And so he dragged everyone along and he was responsible for the next hiccup and evolution.

[454] I just gave someone a manifesto.

[455] How about that?

[456] There's some fucking dude living in one of those loft apartments where you can drive your car up in an elevator and he's by himself right now carving his blade of his knife.

[457] Invest in tie -dye and Hendricks now.

[458] Well, that's an interesting fucking idea that someone could engineer a virus that would induce a psychedelic state.

[459] Yeah, or some kind of state.

[460] I mean, is that possible?

[461] I have no idea.

[462] I mean, yeah, it seems like if it could affect your body the way some things can some colds can affect your body they should be able to engineer something that should affect your brain something that is a byproduct it creates a tryptamine well when you think about it man when you when you when you do MDMA and the next day you sort of feel like you came down from from a cold you sort of feel like you had a cold like so like your body was fighting something unless you just roll off does that stuff work yeah it does work it doesn't really work though it's not like it doesn't want completely bring you to a hundred percent I haven't I haven't done much, well, I haven't done MDMA much or Mali or whatever it's called, much.

[463] But I did it once without having that and then once with having it.

[464] And it was a totally big difference.

[465] There was no hangover at all like the next day.

[466] And it's just like you take it before you do it and after right before you go to bed.

[467] Roll on and roll off.

[468] So you really didn't feel anything funky?

[469] No, I mean, you're going to probably have a hangover no matter what.

[470] I definitely felt way better than the last time.

[471] I hate that feeling so much I only did that stuff once because of that feeling it was too much that feeling was too terrible I just felt I was in a I was in a coffee shop the next day and I bought a magazine with me sitting there drinking a cup of coffee trying to read this magazine I couldn't read couldn't focus couldn't focus on the words couldn't put my head into a paragraph couldn't do it and I was like oh this is terrible this is a terrible terrible place for your brain to be and I went on stage and I felt that it was like 80%.

[472] Even though I hit all the beats right, I did all my material correctly, I felt like I was only like 80 % right.

[473] Like my brain was just not capable of totally connecting to the material.

[474] I was, you know, like you know how it is when you're in the groove, when you're on stage, you're totally connected to the material.

[475] You know where the beats are, you feel it.

[476] You're in the jokes.

[477] You know, you're in there.

[478] you're you're totally in the moment but sometimes not and this time i just could not force myself into it as i was saying everything correctly but i couldn't quite keep up with it like i was like this is terrible for your brain i've never had that feeling before it's like a feeling of like a a dullness like a dying battery you know yeah felt awful yeah i hate it it's not worth it but i did learn a lot when i did it man boy i got a big lesson about about about insecurity.

[479] That's the thing that hit me the most.

[480] You know, is that God, if everybody was like in some sort of a way, the way people are during an acid trip, or an MDMA trip, it's like you would never would have to worry about fights ever again.

[481] You would never have to worry about people being douchy to each other.

[482] If somehow another the brain could be engineered to operate those RPMs on a regular basis, because now the idea is that you take this MDMA, you take ecstasy, whatever the fuck it is.

[483] And it It makes you high for a brief moment and then brings you down.

[484] But what if the mind could sustain those levels of those chemicals on a regular basis?

[485] I mean, is that not possible?

[486] Why would anyone assume we could not evolve to that?

[487] If we've come to this point from some shit -throwing, you know, tree -swinging little monkey people, if that's what we used to be, and we've come this far.

[488] We can't take that other leap to have the levels of chemicals and our brains operate so that you would be like you were on ecstasy all the time.

[489] That would be the way to engineer a loving culture.

[490] Yeah.

[491] Because I did not feel stupid when I was on it, which was very amazing that I could think very clearly.

[492] But I remember thinking, wow, how silly are my insecurities?

[493] How silly?

[494] Imagine like another universe where instead of building an atomic.

[495] atomic bomb, Einstein or these scientists had come up with these theories and physics of a way to create like some kind of device that blasts pure love into people so that when it goes off the city that it's in, everyone in the city gets filled with like as though you are on the best ecstasy on the planet, that level of love.

[496] So you're at war with the country and instead of destroying them, you're just blasting them with love chemicals so that there's no way that they can fight.

[497] He's going to poison a big population of people with acid, aren't you?

[498] You keep setting yourself up as that guy.

[499] You're Johnny Appleseed.

[500] Water supply, man!

[501] I think I actually said Johnny Appleseed incorrectly, right?

[502] Have we ever discussed who Johnny Appleseed is on the podcast?

[503] Yeah, you didn't think it existed.

[504] What did he do again?

[505] He spread out apples throughout the Midwest.

[506] You couldn't be you would be the Johnny Appleseed of Ecstasy?

[507] Of Ecstasy.

[508] I, you know, I wouldn't, I think that would be a great, great claim to fame, but I'm not going to, like, I really obviously would never poison people if I, even if I had the opportunity, but at some point, you know, their drastic measures have to be taken.

[509] That's what I'm saying.

[510] But listen, what you're saying.

[511] You're saying that you're not comfortable with the speed at which evolution is happening.

[512] It's obvious that people are evolving, but you're not comfortable that people haven't reached your level yet.

[513] So your fucking solution is to engineers.

[514] some way to poison them in some way to dose them you're going to use them as guinea pigs let me tell you this and I'm for it I'm sorry I'm sorry too it's not mine are you for it I think if it was 100 % safe yeah but they would have to be all kids and black kids black kids well no even if just kidding I would not be you know what if it wasn't 100 % safe what if it was 80 % safe listen man you can't tell people they have to dig acid all right some people are happy as fuck living a simple life and that is their prerogative this is a temporary experience and just because you see some great depth into it doesn't mean you can pose those ideals on other people that love a simple life they there's people out there that are genuinely like country music they're like feeding animals and they're like making fucking sweet potato pie and that's cool they're called my parents yeah i'm not like you can't dose your parents but try tickling first i'm not Here's the thing.

[515] I'm not talking about like literally it's never it's never going to happen I know but it could I'm just saying an interesting you have diagrams at what point at what point do you do what anonymous is doing at what point do you go from looking at the world and seeing some fucked up shit going down what what point do you go from talking about this shit going down to actively trying to fight against it.

[516] Did you see the Warren Buffett thing?

[517] No. Warren Buffett just wrote some big article on corporate taxes and why do I have to pay so little taxes?

[518] Why do all my super rich friends get to pay taxes any described in detail a bunch of crazy clauses that are in place that allow these guys to only have like 17 % taxes?

[519] And especially people that make their money with money.

[520] There's all sorts of things that can be factored in because of that they pay even less taxes.

[521] And he's like, this is crazy.

[522] all engineered ridiculous like why are you protecting this super rich it's really really fascinating that's amazing it's really fascinating because he stepped up and and and it uses the terms like my mega rich friends my super rich friends you know he you know really just kind of laid it all out it's fascinating so where you know when do we do something about it what do we do because you got to do something at some point but once you bring it down do we know who's going to build it back up no you don't have to bring it down you don't have to bring it down but at some point you i just heard this thing it's this guy that guy's rant on i don't even remember the show but it went viral and it's this guy steamed up about how republican or democrat it doesn't matter there's a system in place that is pulling the wealth of the nation into the overseas banking community or it was like really intense and it went viral um it went super viral but the the question is do we dose the irs or not no at what point no at what point a bunch of bad trips.

[523] They would have, think about all the houses they took away.

[524] Math trips.

[525] All the people where they just literally stole their money and they went poor and they couldn't fucking feed themselves.

[526] But when do you do, when do you say, anyway, this guy said we have a bot Congress.

[527] He said that Congress is in the pocket of corporations, whether this is true or not, I don't know.

[528] But I did read, if you go to Boehner's Wikipedia page it's spelled Boner, but Boe -H -N -E -R, if you go to his Wikipedia page, it talks about one of the controversy around him was that there was a big vote coming up against big against tobacco and right before the vote happened he went and passed out checks from big tobacco on the floor to all these like senators or I don't do he passed it out publicly and I don't know why what this exactly was but so that guy's bought he's passing out checks from tobacco companies in our government like that guy's bots on Wikipedia look it up and maybe someone can really explain to me why I did that or what what's happened there so we have what's called a bot Congress we have our leaders many of them are in the pockets of the corporations their decisions aren't based on the will of the people their decisions are based on what's better for the corporations and the mega rich and fucking Warren Buffett just went out and talked about it at what point do we as a people make that stop when does it happen guess what democracy didn't work didn't work they beat it they figured it out of course they figured it out it's like the rubics cube you do it enough time somebody's gonna fucking figure out to beat the rubics cube they figured it out the fucking founding fathers talked about this very thing the possibility of this kind of thing happening it happened now what do we do what do you do you sit and drink Starbucks and buy your fucking iPhone and and and fucking play video games and get on a podcast from time to time and wine or do you fucking do something when do you do something that's what i want to know when do people act like and that's why i'm so fascinated with fucking anonymous right now because they're acting they're no matter what people says oh they're just a bunch of 14 year olds in the basement of the bob's house i don't think so they just fucking did a they shut down train stations they're shutting shit down they're like blasting yeah but that's one one step away is obama's going to go on television going okay just so you know we're now considering these guys terrorists what that's all it's going to happen.

[529] And then these 14 -year -olds that are in basements who are thinking they're doing a good job are now going, okay, now we're going to get in prison for 60 years and a federal crime.

[530] Okay, no, I'm not worth them going back to work.

[531] But that's all that's all they need to do to stop.

[532] But for the rest of history, I think.

[533] For the rest of history, if every member of whatever this mysterious weird group is gets arrested tomorrow, for the rest of time, they still will exist as an organization that was one of the first emergent revolutionary organizations in the technological age and to me that is amazing oh it's super amazing and i completely support them but that they're just better watch out because i think that's coming i think they're doing it they're going to be considered terrorists any second of course i mean our country considers anything that goes against their ideals terrorism to the point where it's obvious that certain people aren't there are insurgents those are insurgents what the fuck's an insurgent those are people who don't want you invading their country they're not insurgents you're going to call them an insurgent do you know how many fucking kids in Afghanistan died from drone attacks they just released at like 168 kids dead from drone attacks a lot of insurgents apparently don't understand why you got to blow up toddlers so the question is when do people could you fucking imagine if you were living over there if that's your roll the dice you're a fucking mountain goat herder in Afghanistan and you literally are under the power of various warlords you know one city in the entire country Kabul everything else it's just warlords yeah warlordss dude warlords you know you know how they get the information from the warlords they give them Viagra that's how they find out where the Taliban is they give them Viagra that's the number one move that's amazing Hopefully you didn't learn that on Cinemax after night.

[534] No, dude, I read that online.

[535] I read it online.

[536] That's amazing.

[537] It's authenticated.

[538] It was on a major website.

[539] I don't remember what the fuck I read it.

[540] So what we know.

[541] But it totally makes sense.

[542] These old dudes, they can't fuck anymore.

[543] And they have all these hoes.

[544] Like, when you're a wardlord, you don't have one wife.

[545] You got a bang of wives.

[546] You got a gang of wives, right?

[547] He's like 60s.

[548] Dick doesn't work anymore.

[549] And he's got these 20 bitches he's trying to hold down.

[550] It's hard.

[551] Yeah, it's not like you can order Viagra when you live.

[552] deep in the fucking deadly valley.

[553] Like they even knew about it, right?

[554] I bet the first time they ever dropped it out of them, they were like, get the fuck out of here.

[555] Wow.

[556] A pill that makes your dick hard.

[557] Like, what kind of geniuses are out there?

[558] Well, I'm herding goats on a mountain somewhere.

[559] It's fucked up that we can use those drones in other countries that we're not even supposed to be at war with, too, like Pakistan.

[560] They just sneak a drone over there and shoot some shit.

[561] All right, we're going to leave now.

[562] All right.

[563] Yeah.

[564] With hellfire missiles.

[565] That's the craziest thing.

[566] They name them.

[567] They don't have the name like H256.

[568] Hellfires.

[569] Hellfire.

[570] Hellfire missiles.

[571] Actually, maybe they do.

[572] Maybe the hellfire is the nickname.

[573] Yeah, man. I want angry, angry officiados to call up.

[574] It's so creepy, man. If you think about that stuff too much, God, especially if you, man, if you eat mushrooms and your brain decides to start thinking about the Taliban, oh, God.

[575] God, that's the worst.

[576] I have rolled against the wall of my fucking apartment, clutching my head with visions of bearded strangers strapping suicide bombs to their bodies and wandering into the streets to blow up other people.

[577] And you really consider that this happens.

[578] At this very second right now, there's two things happening.

[579] There's a guy at fucking Halliburton who's screwing the top on a hellfire missile that no doubt will land in some playground in Afghanistan and incinerate some toddlers.

[580] And he's like, ah, almost off work.

[581] Only six more of these I got to screw on.

[582] There's that guy.

[583] And then there's some guy in the Middle East right now strapping a fucking belt around his waist.

[584] And he's got a little timer or a phone and he's buttoning everything up and he knows that any second, like in the next hour or two, he's going to be hamburger meat all over some fucking cafe or hotel.

[585] That's so weird We live in These are two insane people I frankly think One's a lot crazier than the other And it ain't the fucking guy With a bomb belt It's the fucking weirdos Like yeah Just screwing the tops on missiles Wonder where these are gonna go Woohoo Let's keep pushing them down the line boys I wonder where these are gonna go Who knows I don't know Cluster bombs Here's another box of cluster bombs Whoops oh shit I wonder why it malfunctioned like that perhaps we should analyze the 413 chip.

[586] You just killed toddlers.

[587] Oh, yeah, of course he did.

[588] But I wonder what it is.

[589] Maybe the battery malfunctioned.

[590] The battery is malfunctioning in your heart, murderers.

[591] That's the thing.

[592] It's like, why are we doing this?

[593] What the fuck's going on?

[594] That poppy field thing on the internet where you're talking about the soldiers standing in the poppy fields, yet another thing not to listen to when you're fucking baked.

[595] That'll send you spiraling into a paranoid episode quicker than seeing your grandmother died.

[596] There's never been a more clear.

[597] indication that they're in on it than soldiers guarding poppy fields i mean you just got to you got to at a certain point in time you got to go wait what they had your ralda riva and he was interviewing one of the soldiers who's like yeah well we don't like it but we have to guard the fields in order to get information from these people and we have to let them uh live their way of life like what are you talking about son are you really telling me you're letting people grow heroin and you guys are guarding it, but that's it.

[598] That's all.

[599] You don't have any financial stake in it.

[600] You know, we're taking American lives and they're over there with machine guns guarding poppy fields.

[601] For who?

[602] By who?

[603] Against who?

[604] Excuse me?

[605] What the fuck is going?

[606] We don't know.

[607] Where's the money going?

[608] You're, you're, someone's getting paid.

[609] You fuck.

[610] You don't have soldiers wander through fields unless there's some money being exchanged hands.

[611] Period.

[612] That's expensive to feed a soldier.

[613] Why the fuck would they put the resources of those soldiers?

[614] Why would they put them to use in that area like that you know what that makes me think though man how fucking cool would it be to have your own army wouldn't that be awesome to have like 200 like an army there's people who know what it's like to have an army to have like a are you guys with having an army well you know what would what happened with blackwater right do you know what happened with black one no i don't supposedly this is all supposedly they uh they just got some giant crazy contract uh with the united arab emirates and they're gonna you know i think it's like an abou dhabi maybe abdhabi they're starting like a private military you know he's putting together some crazy mercenary group to shut down uprisings and make sure that no nutty shit happens they don't lose all their money I heard of it I actually heard about this isn't it called cobra I don't know I don't know if it's even true I don't even know it's true called cobra I made that up damn what's the asshole well this guy who was the the guy that was the head of Blackwater apparently got some huge deal to go over there So I read online.

[615] That would make sense, man. If I was some fucking dude in the Middle East like that, I was a king.

[616] I was like, I need to protect this shit.

[617] I don't have to hire me. Once you get to that position, we ain't going to let that go.

[618] No one's letting that go.

[619] Why would you let that go?

[620] I'm the king, dude.

[621] Shut the fuck up.

[622] I got a new army.

[623] We've got shit on lockdown.

[624] You're going to resist any form of assimilation.

[625] I don't care what you saw on Google.

[626] I got a palace.

[627] I got to keep up.

[628] Why would it be like to be a king and have an ass a trip?

[629] A king and I have a really.

[630] deep acid trips.

[631] It's great.

[632] You think so?

[633] Yeah.

[634] Like having a fucking harem?

[635] Like tripping on acid and knowing you had access to a harem and things got weird?

[636] Don't you think you would freak out thinking about all the people that hated you?

[637] And all the people that wanted you dead, all the people that wanted your throne?

[638] Sure.

[639] You just get the joker to dance for you and you'll forget about it.

[640] I mean, just living in any sort of a place where there's one person that is thought to be the king.

[641] The king.

[642] The king.

[643] The king.

[644] The king.

[645] The king.

[646] The king of Jordan.

[647] The king of Egypt.

[648] The king.

[649] The king of England, the Queen of England.

[650] That's got to be a terrifying position.

[651] To be the king?

[652] Yeah, you must be totally paranoid all the time.

[653] Yeah, of course.

[654] I mean, look at the, I mean, just present, look what Obama's got a ride in.

[655] He's got to ride in some kind of bulletproof fucking purse thing.

[656] Of course, also, because he's black.

[657] Let's be honest.

[658] That's the real reason.

[659] That's the real reason.

[660] It's a big reason.

[661] Look, people tried to kill Ronald Reagan, of course.

[662] You know, people would, I think someone, there wasn't there some sort of a thwarted attempt against, it was something about George W. you but they got it like way before anything happened it was a grenade i think they were trying to lob a grenade on stage either way there's i mean there's there's always there's always one crazy faction of society that wants this this president dead or the united states president dead for whatever reason but i always feel like with obama like the the shit that i hear online and the the things that i read it's like the racism is pretty obvious man there's a lot of people that's they don't don't just not like him as a person they they don't like him because he's black oh fuck yeah talk about it pretty openly sure and call him a monkey and call him like it's like like it's really really fucking fascinating like the the level of disrespect you know the idea just imagine right now the way you're going to feel the day after michel bogman gets elected if she got elected imagine how you are going to feel i'm going to feel i'm going to feel how much money does it cost me every year to live in Vancouver and I'd call my accountants and I'm going to say all right now tell me what I would have to do I'd have to pay taxes in both places yeah okay I can do that though and I can live there and I keep I can still be United States citizen let's fucking do it I would just do it okay move the fuck up there that is the way racists felt when Obama got elected of course that's the fucking sense of like horror that some people had not because of his views not because of his ideas but because he's black they were like oh my fucking god this is it this is it charlie it's over is that amazing yeah that's amazing so yeah man yeah it's it's it's completely out there and then you add on to that the fact that he fucking didn't exactly hit a home run to put it lightly dude he stepped up to plate and got hit with a meteor shower i mean i don't think any president had any chance of making any of this look good there was a gigantic scheme going on it covered lapsed and created this vortex of suck and unemployment and home foreclosures.

[663] And anybody stepping into that vortex would have been sucked into its momentum.

[664] Yeah.

[665] That's my opinion.

[666] It kind of sucks that while it was in that fucking vortex, he like started saying that people could start raiding medicinal marijuana dispensaries again under him.

[667] They started doing that.

[668] Yeah.

[669] Did they say that they raided them because they violated both state and federal law?

[670] Do you know?

[671] Because that was one of the claims that Obama said.

[672] He never said that he would stop raiding medical marijuana clinics.

[673] I think the language they used was they were going to stop unless they were violating both state and federal law.

[674] So if someone was selling marijuana, you're automatically violating federal law.

[675] But are you staying within the state guidelines?

[676] If so, then we're going to leave you alone.

[677] But if not, then we're going to go after you.

[678] And that's what they did.

[679] Oh, that's what he said?

[680] Because I heard there was a new thing that's...

[681] I don't know.

[682] I heard that, too, but I didn't investigate it enough to be talking about it.

[683] It's very hard for me to...

[684] Hate our country so much, Duncan?

[685] No, I love our...

[686] Well, let me be clear about this.

[687] I don't think we're happy.

[688] I'm not happy until there's full legalization.

[689] And here's the problem with this idea of medical is that I believe, at least in my...

[690] The way I understand it, that it can be interpreted that the only way you're supposed to be running one of these...

[691] collectives and dispensaries is you're not supposed to be making any profit.

[692] I believe they're supposed to be a non -profit sort of a business.

[693] But obviously these people are making a fuckload of money.

[694] So it's a very tricky sort of a gray area that's going on right now.

[695] So I'm not even happy with just the medical distinction.

[696] It's silliness.

[697] It's 2011.

[698] Any argument about giving any inches or just anything at all in that direction.

[699] Like, okay, well maybe we should make it illegal if you're not stop it it's a fucking plant all right you can't you can't make it illegal you can't it's a fucking plant it grows in the ground you can't say it's no good if you it's not it's not it's not a poison how come you not there's all these plants that grow strychnine they make strict nine they don't they don't you can buy them you can sell salvia at target and i would think that salvia is way more dangerous for kids well salvia salvia plants salvia plants in the nursery go check it out.

[700] Is that the same type of salvia?

[701] I don't know.

[702] I don't know, but I do know that they sell the San Pedro cactus at like Home Depot.

[703] The San Pedro cactus is how you get masculine.

[704] Wow.

[705] Yeah.

[706] That's where peyote comes from.

[707] You can take that fucking cactus and you can, if you know how to do it, there's a bunch of, you know, like forms that'll show you how to go through step -by -step process online.

[708] Yeah, man. It's fucked up.

[709] It's fucking, it's ridiculous.

[710] It's not just fucked up.

[711] It's like that.

[712] If there's a, there's a one thing that has to happen, the first thing that's going to happen, and people don't put as much stock into this idea because it seems like a silly request, but if you could fix anything about the world, what would you do?

[713] I'd make psychedelics regularly available and legal and have people and devote energy and money to studying them and to distributing them correctly.

[714] Totally.

[715] And get people who are a shaman to take people on authentic trips, people who have navigated these worlds, and then when the people come back and they need like, you know, like, you help with this reprogramming you sit down with them you have groups of people that have also had the experience sit down with them discuss what about it did it make you think about yourself was that is there anything that it like glaringly obvious you needed to change and then you know the person would say yeah well there's this fucking thing that freaks me out i'm kind of a cheap fuck and i think we need to deal with that right i mean you're kind of selfish yeah yeah yeah i don't know what it is i just like it's fucking it's a force of habit and if you're if you have any weird sort of a personality tick like that and you do any psychedelic even eat pot just eat a cookie mat.

[716] That's the first thing that's going to hit you.

[717] You're going to think about being a creepy person.

[718] You know, and if there's ever a way to re -engineer society, it's to shock people out of their current pattern of behavior that they find almost unavoidable.

[719] The same patterns that cause people to overeat or chronic masturbation, we have to figure out a way to blast people out of those.

[720] Shock you out of the pattern, show you yourself from an angle or perspective that's not available without the psychedelic, then bring you back and give you something to think about.

[721] You know, it's like these little trips, these little blasts, they're just little bursts of evolution.

[722] It's society, you see yourself, you see how you can fit, you see nice, you see positive, good.

[723] I'll see you in a couple months.

[724] And just keep doing that.

[725] And every couple months, people go in and get blasted, talk to people, people talk to through situations and tell them about ego and that it's all a trick and it's just temporary anyway man the best feeling you'll ever get is to be really cool to as many people as you can the best feeling you'll ever get it's just to be nice to as many people as you can be friendly to them, shake their hand, hug them if you can and just be someone that other people enjoy to be around when you do that you create positive energy you create love you create this this this burst comes from you and you attract it and you bring it into your world I'll see you in a couple months and then the guy comes back every couple months one trip after another and a year later you can't even recognize this guy a year later this guy is fucking eating organic food and drinking coconut water and going to crossfit and reading about the Bhagavad Gita and you become a different human being you become a human being that's actualized that's a good word it's a good word but then you know that is possible you can evolve without drugs you can evolve just with hard work and focus and attention and meditation or you can just take the drugs and get there way quicker it's up to you man or go crazy and combine the two yeah you know you don't it's not like you can only do one or the other actually I found the combination of the two is amazing getting really high and chanting is such a perfect synergy it's the it's so fun to But, I mean, getting high and doing anything is pretty fun.

[726] To me, the most amazing is getting high and doing yoga.

[727] Dude, I love to get super baked.

[728] I'll get baked in hotel rooms, and I'll do yoga.

[729] I got, like, a few DVDs, and I got one thing that I downloaded that I can watch on my laptop.

[730] Dude, I'll get, just blitz -streaked.

[731] So you're just in tune with every fucking fiber of your muscles, and you're holding these poses.

[732] And I'm reading from this book that has this fucking black and white photo.

[733] of this Indian dude doing it from 1934 and he's doing these crazy ass fucking poses and I'm holding them in this hotel room and then after I'm done man it's like it takes the high and brings it to this completely new room it's super clean and it's like you sit here in this new room and just this is just relax a little until the yoga wears off and then you can go right back in it's like it puts you in some crazy new high room or you're like, I can see things so well right now.

[734] It's like my body's in balance, my mind is in balance.

[735] I can see things so clearly.

[736] Troubling decisions seem so obvious.

[737] I would love to see both of your favorite thing to do high together at the same time, like you chanting and you're doing yoga in the same room.

[738] I think that you guys should do that sometime.

[739] Yeah, but we could put that online, and dudes would beat off to it.

[740] That's, fuck it.

[741] Some guy, bear 69 cock, age, well, let you know.

[742] I'll beat off to your thing, cool.

[743] Thanks, bro.

[744] You know you're straight to love your asshole.

[745] That would be awesome.

[746] Hey, can I ask you something?

[747] Of course.

[748] Brian started talking about it.

[749] So what did you think of Planet Apes?

[750] Listen, bro.

[751] Oh, here we go.

[752] I got way more chimp in me than the average person.

[753] So you put me a movie where chimp start fucking shit up.

[754] I get very excited.

[755] Right.

[756] I thought the CGI was the shit.

[757] I thought for a movie, for like, what I like to go to the movies to see.

[758] I want to see some fun shit.

[759] I like comic book movies.

[760] I like, you know, like X -Men.

[761] What was the latest X -Men?

[762] I really like that one a lot.

[763] Yeah.

[764] I like that kind of shit.

[765] I like ridiculous movies.

[766] First class.

[767] I just like, yeah, that one.

[768] I like shit that's like, I like stuff that's fun, you know?

[769] I want to, I want to just get into it.

[770] And to me, this movie was, first of all, the special effects were fucking insane, so close to perfect, so close to see.

[771] seeming like real chimps.

[772] Can I say something?

[773] Yeah.

[774] Here we go.

[775] I don't want to see it.

[776] You haven't seen it?

[777] No, I've seen it.

[778] But I don't want to see chimp cock, but none of those chimps had genitals.

[779] It's true.

[780] PG -13.

[781] Well, it's not that they didn't have genitals.

[782] They just never showed you an angle where you could see the dick.

[783] Here's the thing.

[784] It was just clever photography.

[785] Everything that you've just described about the movie, I agree with.

[786] The CGR was fucking cool, and there was some really cool moments.

[787] but what bothered me about the movie what really bothered me about the movie was the penis and what made it kind of what made me really start aiding it halfway through and get embarrassed by it and just think I'll never go see a fucking movie again in my life what?

[788] Yeah I got so pissed because I saw at the beginning fucking news core and I was like oh here we go how did fucking Rupert Murdoch fuck this up how did he fuck it up these chimps these fucking chimps who've been tortured in laboratories who I I told you about the time I almost got killed by a chimpanzee already, right?

[789] I told you about a story.

[790] When was this?

[791] I didn't tell you that story.

[792] Even if you did, tell me again.

[793] I'm sure a lot of people never heard of it.

[794] Tell me. So I, from this pilot I did for Comedy Central, we had a chimpanzee as one of the gags where I was playing chess with a chimpanzee and the chimpanzee beat me at a move.

[795] And so, like, oh, I'm chimpanzee is smarter than me. It's just a stupid quick gag.

[796] like a computer's looked up to the chimp and like it says checkmate the computer says checkmate so I was really excited about this day and my friend um Tom Giannis who uh was the co -creator the show and directed it was um he uh he kept telling me Duncan is that you think there's any way we could do this without a chimp or do you really want to have a chimpanzee because I've worked with chimpanzees before and they're really hard to control on set and they're dangerous and I'm like you know I want to work with a chimpanzee.

[797] I'm not going to say no to working with a chimp and they're not dangerous and they're going to sense that I'm a nice guy and the chimpanzees going to know I'm okay and it's going to be fine I was looking forward to this for days because I've always wanted to fucking hold a chimpanzee so a fucking the chimp gets here you know that I know the chimp's there because it's punching the hardwood floor as hard as it can as it's coming down through like to where we're shooting it's just punching the floor punching the floor punching the floor bang bang bang this fucking thing it looks like if you took a toddler and just blasted it with steroids it's like imagine the most muscular toddler with the worst case of ADD on the planet that's a chimpanzee and so right before he starts shooting the guy says okay just so you guys know it's a very friendly monkey um call him a monkey or I'm sorry chimp I'm gonna I was like that trainer sucks dude you get that guy get that gym train I don't know is there a hard Harvard for chimp trainers.

[798] You just fucking get a chimp.

[799] Say you're a trainer and you can rent the thing up.

[800] Don't you have to be a primatologist or something?

[801] I don't know.

[802] Okay.

[803] So this fucking monkey so he's like just, you know, the chimpanzee's the most, this is the strongest person in the room.

[804] If he comes up to you, he just wants to say hi, he's very friendly, just don't make any quick movements.

[805] And so suddenly this chimp is sitting in front of me and it goes from being like oh, this is going to be cute to being like, this is no different than being with a tiger this thing is fucking strong it seems kind of focused and cool right now but it was being a little weird earlier how big was it uh i i don't know the weight of the thing it was probably like a little higher than my waist like with it with the chimp crouch happening so you say maybe 70 pounds 80 pounds um i'd say like uh probably 80 pounds or something i don't know i don't know i don't know so it's not a baby No, it's a middle -aged little guy wearing blue jeans I think it's more than a hundred or a hundred pounds I don't know It wasn't no I could I don't know I could have picked it up It's muscular shit right So The real muscular So we're we're starting to do the scene Chim's got to move a piece By the way for animal rights people out there I will never ever ever Ever ever use a chimpanzee again In anything that I ever do I don't advocate it It's cruel It's a horrible thing It's fucked up These creatures belong in habitats are in the wild they do not belong on a movie set they're very cool very cool creatures but that's it's a terrible thing i agree so totally i'm fucking sitting there and the basically in like two seconds the chimp went from being calm and kind of focused to screaming at the top of its lungs and shooting past me at maybe 20 miles per hour like like there's no way i could have reacted if wanted to pounce on me i couldn't have blocked it it was like just this bang like a lightning bolt it shoots by me and runs to the top of this divider so now it's pulling like a king kong it's like it's screaming at all of us and i'm like fuck i'm feeling the worst sense of guilt and fear anyway we get it back down holy shit we get it back down everything's fine again it's like nothing happened i didn't just freak out that it's cool gets off it's chill whoa whoa hold on this thing freaked down and you went back to work with it again yes oh my god went back to work went back to work oh my god i had to get the shot man it's low budget and fuck it man let's go for it so what if i lose my talking i was terrified it was a bad decision in retrospect but in the moment i decided to do it so the things in front of me again and it's calm down and it's kind of cool now i look over the trainer is sweating like you know nervous sweat like nervous nervous nervous sweat and I swear I hear the guy who's with him whisper to him um should we do it something with her like should do it and he's like not yet yells at the guy so I'm thinking like did he just suggest that they dart the chimp or something like they calm it down like something's not right with the chimp right now so anyway thing goes for me again not for me but shoots out of the chair again the guy tackles it football tackles the chimp right football tackles this poor fucking creature the guy hits his head on a chair he hits his nose on a chair from tackling the chimp the chimp didn't uh the chimp didn't bite him but he hurt he he hit his nose i saw him do it so because he tackled the chimp why did he tackle the chimp He saw something in the chimp's eyes that made him think, I got to tackle this chimp.

[806] So he tackles the chimp.

[807] He stands up every, I look around, the crew is like white -faced.

[808] I'm sitting here frozen in terror.

[809] I look over, the chimp is projectile vomiting bananas because that's what they do when they get anxious.

[810] And the guy's like, guys, like, guys, we can go on, everything's fine, everything's fine.

[811] Blood running down his face from where he slammed into the chair, just blood, just gushing down the guy's face and uh and i'm like no you know what i think we got it let's let's call this a let's call this a day and that that happened man those fucking things are fast and deadly and dangerous and fucking kind of half insane because they're out of their environment so when i went to see planet apes and the first time one of those chimps went to kill someone and the chimps like no No. You know, we mustn't kill.

[812] Let's let these humans live.

[813] I'm like, fuck that.

[814] Chimps, if they were super intelligent, they'd be ripping people to, like, fucking turkey on Thanksgiving.

[815] That's what annoyed me about it.

[816] It should have been brutal.

[817] It was more realistic.

[818] You wanted to be more realistic.

[819] Yeah, I wanted to see fucking monkeys like, not just, by the way, like, all these monkeys seem really good at jumping through office glass.

[820] If they weren't, it would be the most boring movies.

[821] ever if they were all hitting the glass and falling back not if they were grabbing the workers in the office and slamming their bodies into the glass like bean bags it's splitting them like fucking so you didn't have fun with the movie at all you couldn't look at it i did think that some of that jumping through the glass shit was ridiculous but i was willing to let it go because it was a fun movie yeah that's what i would think to me it was just a fun badass movie uh listen there is that part of my brain too that's like whoa this is fucking cool but i'm not discounting what you're saying i completely agree with you if they went full chimpanzee what a what a champion would really be like it was intelligent it would be a horror film a horror film of epic proportions where the chimps would storm the town and just kill all the people exactly brutalize them that's what what would happen i saw this really cool picture on this website i go to called disinformation and um that sounds like a real credible source it's a great website man they know they put out you hear that though it's like where did you get where did you get the article oh it was on disinformation dot com that sounds like you immediately just fall into one of those people yeah yeah right constantly searching for the truth behind the lies right it's not a conspiracy site it's more like it's a good site i'm just i'm just saying like i've got go to it all time i'm just saying that if that's one of those like hot buttons like disinformation dot com yeah disinfo it's like a website called we lie to you yeah they have the book didn't disinformation aren't they the people that have you're being lied to is yeah they're the people that produce that book and the whole series of those books yeah which are fantastic by the way great books you you've realized how many times people have been lied to all throughout history.

[822] And it's like, whoa, what the hell?

[823] Yeah.

[824] About that, too.

[825] Just about everything.

[826] But there's a picture on the site of a painting.

[827] Someone did a Planet of the Apes.

[828] And it's these apes with guns standing in front of a pile of dead human bodies, like they're hunters posing with, like, things that they've killed.

[829] Now, that's cool.

[830] When I see that, because then they're really playing that, like, we flip the script.

[831] Here's what it's, here's, the Planet of the Apes.

[832] by showing monkeys behaving like humans do it was a cool creative way to amplify the cruelty and humanity and brutality of humans that was an important aspect of it is the monkeys were supposed to be cruel to things that they didn't think were smart so the fact that these their distant ancestors started off as like what appears to be it seems like while that chimp was getting educated he got a nice heavy dose of like some form of like this is no spoilers by the way right you're not going to drop some spoilers on us because i haven't seen it yet it's planet of the fucking apes if you don't know it's about talking monkeys then what the fuck yeah it's a little bit of a spoiler sorry look i see what you're saying i think i don't think that oh come on man that movie was fun for me i enjoyed the shit out of it but you could make a movie where it would be all the scenes from King Kong and from the Hulk where they were just smashing everything and I would watch that movie.

[833] It could be like 40 minutes, I would pay $20 to go to see just a video of the Hulk fucking shit up for 20 minutes and then King Kong fucking shit up.

[834] Yeah, that's so fun.

[835] The people screaming when he's stepping on them.

[836] Oh, the old King Kong?

[837] Yeah, that's awesome.

[838] I just love the idea of the special effects.

[839] Did you like Godzilla's much?

[840] Yeah, I liked that when I was a kid.

[841] Yeah.

[842] But you know what?

[843] Those movies back then were so stupid it's like you you we all agreed that we're stupid we didn't think that was like a real monster there was no doubt that was not a real monster but we were willing to go along with it because it was kind of fun there was no doubt the water would not move that way if it was really the ocean that's a goddamn bathtub there's no doubt but we were willing to accept it because it was kind of a cool movie what's fun for me now is i just love watching these artificially created that have been rendered on a computer and people are interacting with them that to me like the king Kong scene when when king Kong falls down in the newest king con he falls down in between these two like a into like a big crater or something like that in like a big canyon anyway he falls down to this big crack and there's all these vines and shit and he's duking it out with t -rexes all along the way while he's like juggling this chick and while you're watching it's like god damn this is a motion picture piece of art this is a masterpiece what they've done this really does look like a giant gorilla fighting off T -Rexes that's fucking badass and it's really it really does look like it's interacting with trees it really does it's amazing when the fucking gorilla gets to the ground starts duking it out with them and it's like that really looks like a gorilla this is incredible dude I'm blown away by that shit blown away because I can't when you hear about like computer language like I I watched John Carmack do this speech about the new technology and their game rage and like all the different cool tweaks and different things that they've done with it.

[844] Remember when we went there when we were in Dallas and we got a chance to go in software?

[845] They let us go walk around the studio and look at the game before it was ever made.

[846] Dude, you listen to him talking like my brain is so far removed from any of this knowledge.

[847] what he's discussing with how they've created video games how they've changed the way the game interacts with people and I know he's doing this with ones and zeros and numbers on white paper it's so far he might as well be an alien he might as well be an alien he might as well be a different species than me somebody was just telling me that programmers' brains start working differently because they're constantly thinking and coding language and it creates this difference in the way their brains work, which I didn't really understand.

[848] That totally makes sense.

[849] Yeah, just when I use Photoshop, and I think, like, somebody built this.

[850] Like, somebody figured out how to do this.

[851] That is insane to me. It's, who are these people?

[852] It's like, we're giving Academy Awards and, like, huge awards and accolades to, like, symmetrical people who are really good at, like, reciting lines in a specific way.

[853] How come, like, the famous people in our society, aren't these super geniuses who are building phones.

[854] Why don't we have like awards for people who make the crazy shit that makes our life so much better?

[855] It's really weird.

[856] Johnny Linz -Flair.

[857] It is very weird.

[858] Well, it's because our society is sort of developed and evolved without much planning.

[859] It sort of just happened.

[860] And as we are this weird combination of evolving being an animal with needs and instincts, There's a lot of variables that don't get accounted for as behavior forms into patterns and, you know, and cultures evolve around giant masses of land.

[861] It doesn't get planned out.

[862] But I always feel, just like I feel with any pattern that is established in nature, I always feel that the most fucked up human behavior, all of it, the whole pile of it all has got to all be natural.

[863] It's almost unavoidable.

[864] This is just what the human being does.

[865] And as we are older and have much less responsibility than most people, you know, 30 years ago, you know, or rather 300 years ago, our age were literally dying, you know, 500 years ago.

[866] How long did people live and, you know, and was it, what was normal?

[867] What was normal a thousand years ago?

[868] Oh, no, I looked this up.

[869] I think it's like 32 years.

[870] If you can look up a lifespan of people, it's like, no, it's not a thousand years ago.

[871] It's like 1800s.

[872] It's almost to me like we're not supposed to get old enough to see the hustle.

[873] Right.

[874] It's almost like we're designed to die off right when we start going, what the, wait a minute, what the fuck are we doing?

[875] Hey, hey, hey, everybody settled down.

[876] What exactly are we doing here?

[877] But that's when we're supposed to heart failure.

[878] That's what your shit's supposed to quit.

[879] But we're alive so much longer now because of nutrition and medicine and people are just, they're more conscious.

[880] And a person like yourself has more free time as well and more free time to contemplate.

[881] And you're in a nonconformist occupation where you're not constantly pressured every day to thinking along certain lines.

[882] Because that's a real issue with the American worker.

[883] You think you're given eight hours a day, but you're not given eight hours a day.

[884] You're given eight hours a day plus your behavior outside of work can't give you.

[885] get much too crazy in comparison to your behavior inside of work or it's going to affect your performance at work.

[886] You can't be partying too much and coming into work hungover.

[887] So the whole thing must be regulated.

[888] So everybody has to stay in line.

[889] You can't get crazy and say sexist jokes around female coworkers or you'll go to jail.

[890] You'll be arrested.

[891] You'll lose money because of sexual harassment.

[892] You know, if you fire her, you're going to get sued.

[893] And these are all, that this is all like an impossible thing to avoid if you're not a normal person working a normal job it's impossible for you to avoid your behavior being altered just so that you can work well yeah you're you there's a game that people forgot they were playing it's called Western society and most people the way they play that game is they have to there's different roles they take there's the worker and the boss there's the executive there's the president, there's police officers.

[894] And it's all a big game.

[895] When you go and buy a Starbucks, I learn this.

[896] There's a really cool meditative technique you can do that's part of this stuff this guy Gerjeev talks about, but it basically shows you how you're essentially just a series of automatic functions throughout the day.

[897] You're not even there.

[898] But what you do is when you go to buy something, just be aware of the way you buy something.

[899] Watch the way your hand gets your wallet.

[900] Watch the way the money or the card comes out.

[901] the way you swipe the card, watch the way you talk to the person, watch the way the person talks to you.

[902] And what you'll see happening is something you've been doing for years and years and years and years and years, over and over again, to buying shit.

[903] Because you live in America and that's how we fucking survive, it's buying shit at a cash register.

[904] It's just a great way to see how, when you do that, your body goes into this automated function.

[905] Get the wall, pull the cards, say thanks in a weird way.

[906] Look at the person.

[907] If you look at the person, you're seeing an automaton.

[908] You're seeing a person who's put their consciousness on the shelf while they, like, all day long, process people's cards, process people cards.

[909] So what you're seeing is two machines having this interaction.

[910] And it's really fucking a great exercise to do because what you're seeing is a game that you've been playing so long, you've forgotten you're playing that game.

[911] You've learned out to buy shit at a cash register.

[912] There was a time when you'd never bought something in a cash register when you were a kid.

[913] And then your parents taught you how to do it.

[914] You learned out of exchange money for goods.

[915] And that crystallized of this ritual that you don't even know as a ritual.

[916] It's just this automatic thing.

[917] So this fucking game of Western society, it invites people to become automaton's to get through the day when you're like, I used to wash dishes at Applebee's and I can remember like the way that you would get through the day of washing dishes is you just go into this automatic trance, just a trance spray the dish, put in the thing, wash scrub, put in the thing.

[918] It's just an automatic trance.

[919] You're there, but you're not really there.

[920] You're just in a trance and you do it as an escape from the, monotony and dullness of the job.

[921] Well, it should be one person is cleaning their own plate.

[922] That's what it should be, right?

[923] It shouldn't be there's a giant stack of plates and someone's job it is to clean those things because that's when things start to suck.

[924] That's when jobs start to suck when you're doing all the shit for money that no one wants to do.

[925] There's a big difference between that kind of a job and the kind of a job where you actually have a career and do things you enjoy like you.

[926] You get paid to be a professional comedian.

[927] There's a complete that's a come i mean it's not even it shouldn't even be classified as a job yeah it doesn't feel like it call it a career if you want to get pretentious but you know it's your thing the career thing is a horrible word man it's a weird word makes you feel like you know i'm fucking serious you know what it means career rindstone what it's the it comes the derivation of the word is the track horses ran on really yeah circle you never get anywhere you just run in a fucking circle that's what a career is i'm working on my career It's like the the the yeah, I think that I feel very luck.

[928] I feel incredibly lucky and also I feel like the always on the precipice of absolute disaster.

[929] There's something really quite peaceful about having a regular paycheck, man. There's something really nice about that.

[930] That's fucking cool to know every two weeks you're getting a paycheck.

[931] That's badass.

[932] So that life of working a job and having a regular job, it is, there's sweetness to it, man. And it facilitates having babies and a facility.

[933] facilitates a lot of aspects of life that I think are quite pleasurable on a really high level.

[934] So I totally get it.

[935] It's just a, you know, is there a way that this process that we're all engaged in, this gigantic game that we're all in, this crazy dance of Western civilization that we're all engaged in, is there a way that we can take it up a level?

[936] Is there a way we can make it a little more aware of itself, a little more cognizant of itself, little less embedded in superstition and again i've got to go to what i said before is that i think that things are evolving you just are not happy with the pace i think that we live in such a tiny frame a tiny window of time and the amount of progress that we're looking at just from a thousand years to now is monumental two thousand years to now and human behavior knowledge and access to information off the charts how much it's progressed.

[937] And you're just caught in the middle of it.

[938] And it's not going to stop with the internet and with the access to information that's available now and the ability to communicate now.

[939] Truth is getting through more often than not.

[940] Truth is piling on.

[941] There's a lot of bullshit out there still, but it's way easier to cut the bullshit off with the internet.

[942] It's evolving.

[943] It's just not evolving up to your speed.

[944] what you would like to see but just look at the way people think act and behave now as a as compared to the way they did turn the century.

[945] There's no question and that's not even a blink of an eye not even a blink of an eye it's unquestionally moving in a certain direction and yeah it's quagmired in greed and built on a foundation of unfixable bullshit but it's still spiraling towards the technological singularity there's no fucking question about it.

[946] Some of the advancements that you're talking about are some of the things that you're like, wow, things have really advanced.

[947] It's because groups of people made active efforts to push against the anti -evolutionary force.

[948] Sure.

[949] I mean, that's their role in this machine.

[950] That's their role in this process.

[951] Their role is to push things in that manner.

[952] I mean, I think it's all an ingredient in a gigantic metaphysical sort of a soup.

[953] and it's all piled in together there and everyone's doing their little part but it's changing slow for our ideas and our tastes but in as compared to history the rapid pace of evolution and not even evolution of progress the complexification of our society it's blowing up in our face we're hanging on tooth and nail literally you know there's a lot of people that still haven't even grasped how much it's changed.

[954] That's why when you have all these wacko, gay Republican dudes that get busted online, getting hookers, you know, getting male hookers, like this new guy that just got caught.

[955] Somebody just sent it to me on Twitter.

[956] I don't know his fucking name, but you know the story.

[957] The story just keeps happening over and over again.

[958] The same goddamn story.

[959] This guy wanted to pay some dude to have sex with him and he got caught with it.

[960] And it's fascinating, man. It's fascinating shit.

[961] Human animals.

[962] A very strange mixture of complex thinking and awareness and then some just wild monkey jealousy and instincts and fears and it's all piled together in this weird fucking biological machine and just like go ahead figure this out you got a bunch of things pulling you in a bunch of different directions and a lot of eyes around you good luck and you pushed out there and try to find things to sustain the body while the mind searches for answers and like -minded people to hang with in order to compare ideas so you don't feel like you're crazy you don't feel like you're the only person out there in the beach howling at the moon saying what the fuck is this somebody please make sense of this shit somebody is there anybody out there and the internet now you can send that fucking message in a bottle and someone answers dude right here WTF what the fuck what's going on what's happening and everybody gets together and that's the high mind.

[963] That's how the mind really thickens.

[964] That's how things really start getting connected.

[965] It's happening right now.

[966] It really is, man. It's only, we're only dealing with a two -decade old invention.

[967] Two decades is a fucking, a fraction of the time it takes for your eye to close.

[968] But how about when not only does it get a group of people being like, what the fuck?

[969] How about what, how about when it brings groups of people into the streets and overthrows governments, like an Egypt.

[970] I mean, it doesn't just stop with this, like...

[971] Well, how about the UK?

[972] You know, one of the things they were trying to do, they wanted to shut down Twitter and Facebook over there.

[973] Yeah.

[974] Because that's how people were communicating.

[975] This Bart thing that happened in San Francisco?

[976] Same thing.

[977] They shut down the fucking cell phones.

[978] They didn't want people organizing.

[979] Yeah.

[980] It's crazy, man. Like, that kind of shit is like, listen, man, you can't do that.

[981] You can't, you're not allowed to shut off the phones.

[982] What if someone's fucking mother was dying?

[983] What if someone got hit by a car, but you couldn't call a fucking ambulance because you can't use your phone because you assholes are afraid of criticism because you assholes are afraid of people yelling and screaming and telling you that you fucked up so you cut off the phone lines you should go to jail you should go to jail if you shut off the phones in America in 2011 to avoid a protest fuck you that's ridiculous for you to say that you want to maintain order so badly you will cut off communication between everyone.

[984] Taxpayers, good people that have done no wrong without a single spot on their record.

[985] You deny them use of the phone too, blanketly?

[986] Fuck you.

[987] You know what they said?

[988] What?

[989] Humans have, Americans have a right to free speech, but they also have a right to get to where they want to go on time.

[990] Yeah, well, how about if someone's dying, stupid?

[991] No, I think it's the worst.

[992] I think it's the, it's fucking so...

[993] To me, it's scary.

[994] It's terrifying.

[995] It's terrifying.

[996] It's terrifying.

[997] It's terrifying.

[998] Yeah, it's scary because it's like...

[999] What you're supposed to do is you're going to have to hire more cops, stupid, and you can have to, you know, keep peace in a very respectful manner.

[1000] And, you know, there's a whole fucking bad history between cops and people up there, man. And, you know, I'm not saying that the cops are 100 % in the wrong, but there's been some shit that they did that's crazy.

[1001] Like the cop that shot the guy because he thought he was tasering him, instead he shot him, and it's all on video.

[1002] I mean, what the fuck, man?

[1003] There's been a lot of nonsense like that.

[1004] and it's just when you shut the fucking phones off and keep people from protesting people just got to go what what the fuck are you doing and that man who the fuck are you that's why it's so incredible what anonymous did by creating a protest that got broadcast nationally to every to internationally people saw that shit and and if they hadn't have done that if they'd been content with just having conversations about it it wouldn't have escalated to the level that it escalated to and a lot of those guys got arrested like they put freedom of information in front of their own freedom that is heroic that's badass that's what i'm talking about i'm saying at some point you people have got to like stand up because if you don't if no one had stood up if no one had done that if there'd been no protests if bart didn't know that every time they try to shut the fucking phone lines down they're going to get swarmed what was the protest over.

[1005] Do you know?

[1006] I don't know.

[1007] It was the anonymous protest was after another protest happened and I do not know why the first protest happened.

[1008] I just know they shut the fucking phone.

[1009] Did it have to do with that guy who was murdered?

[1010] I think that the guy's getting out of jail.

[1011] Oh, maybe.

[1012] I might be completely different.

[1013] That's what I thought the whole thing was about.

[1014] It's the saddest thing in the world man when you think about that.

[1015] Someone lost their life because of something so fucking stupid and then the guy who did it one fucking stupid mistake his life is fucked forever too yeah he's got to deal with that for the rest of his life i mean can you imagine what how stupid you must feel to make that mistake you thought you're so panicked you thought you had your taser but you had your gun and you shot the guy that weight of that think of the weight of that i always think about that the weight because it's like when you fuck over a friend or if you do something stupid eventually you can say i'm sorry that was stupid You can apologize, and you can get it off your chest.

[1016] When you kill somebody, you can't do it.

[1017] You can't apologize someone back to life.

[1018] There's nothing you can do.

[1019] You can say you're sorry to their family, but that's not going to bring the person back.

[1020] It's so terrible.

[1021] Yeah, it's a pretty crazy idea.

[1022] We're so connected to each other.

[1023] When you lose someone in your life, it's so painful.

[1024] The idea that other people can take people away from people.

[1025] It's like the ultimate attack on them.

[1026] so strange because we all know we're temporary we all know we're going to die we just don't want to right now i'm not ready yet i'm not having too much fun i'm enjoying this i'm just getting this thing mastered i'm just getting it figured i know how to enjoy it now i figured it out i figured out how to enjoy it don't let me die yet not that did that did that not yet sorry mr rogan we've got to move you on to the next experiment you can't stay here that's you know that's like maybe that's all this is like when they give like the like in Planet of the Apes you know when they have that spoiler alert put your fingers in your ears don't do that don't do it's not that bad I can talk about the test that they did right can I talk about it?

[1027] Yeah you shouldn't talk about the plot it's probably not smart it's rude okay so forget Planet of the Apes but sometimes with kids you give them like intelligence tests where they have to like do like certain things you know and imagine if that's what this whole thing is some kind of alien intelligence test where after you solve this certain puzzle you get moved along and the way it looks when you get moved along is you're Gandhi taking a bullet in the chest or you're you know you're some you're someone who just like maybe you just have a heart attack like sometimes I've thought I wonder if there's like a thought you can have or a place you can get to where you just get it to the point where you don't have to stick around here like they say that some yogis through meditation have just like meditated and meditated and they can willfully just leave their body they call it dropping your body they don't call it death dropping your body i wouldn't i wouldn't put that past the realm of possibility if you consider the fact that your brain we know produces a bunch of different psychedelic chemicals who's to say that there's not some way to trigger those and not the way to some way to stimulate those by putting yourself into a frequency through meditation where you force the brain to accept a certain vibe a certain just a certain frequency And in doing so, you can actually force your brain into producing certain chemicals.

[1028] And then you fucking blast off.

[1029] I mean, the brain makes psychedelics.

[1030] Fact.

[1031] Fact.

[1032] The human body makes psychedelics.

[1033] Fact.

[1034] We know it does.

[1035] It makes a bunch of things that affect your behavior.

[1036] It makes adrenaline.

[1037] Makes dopamine.

[1038] Make serotonin.

[1039] It makes all these different things.

[1040] Oxytocin.

[1041] There's all sorts of things that stimulate you, affect you.

[1042] We know it makes all the crazy chemicals that exist that create the dream state.

[1043] I've been taking this fucking alpha brain.

[1044] and having the nuttyest dreams man and I had a werewolf gorilla sex dream it was the strangest fucking dream of all time it was so bizarre because it was so stupid but so real and so easy to recall these alpha brain things man one of the things that a bunch of people have tweeted me about this too that when you take them and have dreams for whatever reason you're fucking you remember your dreams you know and um this dream was so stupid.

[1045] It was a gorilla, and he was right behind, like, a bulging and breaking piece of wallboard, you know, the white plaster, and I had to squirt the fucking stuff to put him to sleep through it.

[1046] I couldn't go ahead and get to him.

[1047] Then I had to runaway and hide, and he ran into a werewolf, and they fucking fought, and then started sucking each other's cocks.

[1048] It was the most ridiculous dream ever.

[1049] I'm not responsible.

[1050] I don't know what the fuck it means, but this werewolf was on top sucking this gorilla's cock.

[1051] And they were like 69ing each other.

[1052] And I was like, what kind?

[1053] I've never had a dream like that before.

[1054] If you were ever, if you looked in the dream dictionary, does it say anything?

[1055] It doesn't exist.

[1056] It just says you are Joe Rogan.

[1057] Yeah, it was so crazy.

[1058] It was like going from absolute terror and fear.

[1059] Like there was these, these gorillas were these giant silverbacks, and they were right behind this thin piece of wallboard.

[1060] And I had to inject them with this sedative.

[1061] I had to get them with it.

[1062] and I couldn't quite get to him and I pulled it out and he came through the wall and I ran and then he runs into the werewolf it was this it went from were they 69ing dude it became completely ridiculous not only that but the way they looked became completely ridiculous they went from being like a terrifying looking silverback gorilla to some sort of curious George halfway you know goofy looking like smiling gorilla getting his dick sucked by a werewolf you know it became completely cartoonish it was so strange i was like i can't even wrap my head around how anybody would try to describe i mean how are you going to tell me what's going on in my head that's awesome how you're going to tell when everything became a big gay joke it's like you're running from you're running from a terrifying superior physical specimen in a giant silverback gorilla that you're trying to sedate through a wall with a needle what and then you run away and then a werewolf turns the corner and smashes into the grill and then they start blowing each other.

[1063] What the fuck, man?

[1064] Do you believe in those dream books?

[1065] No, you can't.

[1066] If that's not in there, I don't believe it.

[1067] If that's in a dream book, I'll give it.

[1068] And I'll tell you what, I swear to God, I'm fucking straight as they come.

[1069] It's not what this is about.

[1070] I am just not responsible for a lot of the fucking thoughts that's been around in my imagination sometimes.

[1071] I really don't believe I am.

[1072] I think, I mean, it's not, that I was, like, thinking that this was a real thing.

[1073] It was like, my brain just created the stupidest idea for a movie in the middle of a horrifying scenario, like...

[1074] Now, did you join into the monkeys at all?

[1075] Did you start, like, having sex with them also?

[1076] No, I was trying to get away.

[1077] I was trying to get away.

[1078] So you realized they were just blowing each other.

[1079] A way to escape.

[1080] Yeah, yeah.

[1081] They started blowing each other, and then I said, I can get out of here.

[1082] But it became, like, cartoonish.

[1083] Now, did you walk away slow, like, you were watching the whole time.

[1084] Yeah, you know, I did.

[1085] I tiptoed so that I didn't shock them.

[1086] You know, I feel like if you move too fast, they can't help but chase you.

[1087] They'll come out of it.

[1088] Yeah, it's like if you roll a ball in the yarn past a kitten, they run after it.

[1089] They can't help themselves.

[1090] It's just instinctual.

[1091] They say that's what also happens with bikers, like mountain bikers and mountain lions.

[1092] Sometimes mountain lions, they see them moving fast, and they literally can't help themselves.

[1093] They just chase after them.

[1094] Right.

[1095] So you want to make sure you don't do that.

[1096] So I walked away real slow while they were blowing each other.

[1097] So there you go, you guys.

[1098] There's a survival tip.

[1099] Yeah.

[1100] If you ever come upon a werewolf Blowing a guerrilla Sucking each other's cocks Slowing up away Yeah what the fuck is that Good luck Freud Good luck dissecting that memory Or that idea But the weird thing is that it was so vivid These pills for whatever reason Give you these incredibly vivid dreams What's in them Good question I should probably know right I'm telling everybody to take them It's supposedly everything there's There's on on it dot com Oh, N -N -I -T.

[1101] Angel -I -T.

[1102] Chris or Aubrey, as he says.

[1103] Would you say angel -eyes?

[1104] Yeah, people keep on saying there's angel -eyes.

[1105] Angel eyes.

[1106] What does that mean?

[1107] Angel eyes is that stuff that you give to dogs, so when they tear, it may, you know, when dog cries, it gets black underneath their eyes, angel eyes is something you put in their food when they eat, so it doesn't, it takes that away.

[1108] And people online is like, does it have angel eyes?

[1109] I've never knew that there was something like people were concerned with their dog's tears.

[1110] Yeah, when you get like a white dog and it's really spraying that yellow shit out, it looks like, yeah, yeah, but what the fuck are you doing to the dog?

[1111] What is that angelized?

[1112] It's their protein.

[1113] It's like too much zinc or something weird like that.

[1114] Oh, so it's just sort of holistic?

[1115] Oh, okay.

[1116] What the fuck are we talking about?

[1117] Well, before Angelized, we were talking about a 69ing werewolf gorilla to do well.

[1118] How did we get from that to angelize?

[1119] You were talking about the brain stuff.

[1120] The pills.

[1121] The brain pills.

[1122] Who knows what they're doing to us?

[1123] Yeah.

[1124] The sales pitch for the pills, I think we got to work on it a little bit.

[1125] No, Angel eyes.

[1126] I'm not working on it.

[1127] I'm not selling it.

[1128] This is what I'm telling.

[1129] This is what I've decided.

[1130] to do.

[1131] I'm just going to be totally honest with how I feel with them.

[1132] That's my, I'm going to give my, I'm not a doctor, obviously.

[1133] If you're listening to any medical advice I give you, you're a silly person.

[1134] There's plenty of valid sources on the internet.

[1135] But I am a person with an objective experience.

[1136] And what I'll do is I'll take these fucking pills and I'll tell you what I feel like.

[1137] And what I feel like right now is I feel like they make my mind feel clearer.

[1138] And the clearer is a very subjective term, obviously.

[1139] But I feel like I have more energy, but it doesn't feel like a, run on sort of a spiky caffeine energy it feels like a i hate the word crisp and cleaner but that's for lack of better it's like seven up of energy yeah it's it's it's it does something good man i enjoy it and it gives me very memorable dreams not all of them involving guerrillas and werewolf some of them been you know weird people dreams of some science fiction dreams you know i've had some i've had some crazy ones i had this crazy dream about um a world with a thousand Nikola Tesla's that instead of just one super genius oddball crazy man like Tesla this it was like a subsect of the species and it's like a thousand of them and they just in a matter of a few years time had these giant metal floating ships all throughout cities and everything was run through wireless electricity and this was me somehow or another in the 1950s this 1 ,000 Teslas had move society so rapidly before anybody could even control it because they were so far advanced there was like a thousand of them all together creating all this shit and in the 1950s there was flying ships and you know there was a type of electronic connectivity that was very similar to the way we were doing it now but different there was just everyone could talk to people from these handsets that were all throughout the city like there were there were you know everyone was congested into this one place and you could move to any handset and constantly be contacting people.

[1140] It's very trippy, man. It was really weird because it was like 1950s aesthetic, like the way people dress and, you know, a man going to work with a leather briefcase and, you know, and even like the certain type of hats they would wear with their glasses on father knows best.

[1141] But meanwhile, there's flying metal ships and, you know, electricity in the air.

[1142] You know, Tesla wanted to broadcast electricity.

[1143] He wanted it to be like radio signals and have it just fly through the air.

[1144] But then anybody could just like radio, just all you need is a receipt.

[1145] to take it there's no fucking money in that yeah that's right yeah he had a lot of shit that he invented that you know they took away his trunks that all his writing yeah that's kind of crazy fascinating fascinating dude but in this crazy dream the dream that like almost had a title was a thousand Teslas as if there was all these little crazy looking dudes eccentric looking super geniuses running around all together like a thousand of creating all this nutty shit no one could keep up with what the effects it was just It was nothing like the slower pace that we've had to endure over, you know, and really, and you think about an extra half of a century ain't shit, it's really not that much time ever to have all this new technology together.

[1146] But if it all burst together in the 1950s, if we had all the access to all the different disciplines that we have today, if we have them in the 1950s, if there was really like that kind of an evolutionary growth, like immediately from 1900 to 1950, that would be incredible.

[1147] That would be so fascinating.

[1148] if in a lifetime we go from 1900 to us right now or advanced or even more advanced in 50 years yeah like if the singularity happened yeah in the 50s exactly do you believe in the multiverse stuff um i'm too stupid i'm too stupid to argue about it i read um some new thing about i i forget what it was that made them uh believe some sort of a some sort of sound something vibration what was the latest, there's some latest evidence of a multiverse.

[1149] Do you know what it is?

[1150] No. On the internet.

[1151] It's all still what ifs though.

[1152] That's the only bad thing but the whole thing.

[1153] We're never going to probably find out in our lifetime.

[1154] I don't know about that, man. I don't know about that.

[1155] Man, if you look back, if you want to see how much we've advanced, just go back like we were talking about earlier and check out the medical ideas that people had, the scientific ideas people had.

[1156] Here it is right here.

[1157] First observational test of the multiverse.

[1158] The theory that our universe is contained inside a bubble and that bubble that multiple alternate universes exist inside their own bubbles making up the multiverse is for the first time being tested by physicists to research papers published in physical review letters and physical review D are the first detail how to search for signatures of other universes physicists are now searching for disc -like patterns in the cosmic microwave background relic heat radiation left over from the big bang which could provide telltale evidence of collisions between other universes and our own whoa collisions evidence of collisions of universes what the fuck dude collisions that's the alternative concept to the big bang as well the idea that our universe whether it's in a bubble like the multiverse or the people that propose membranes they propose like that the brain drains collide at certain points and that creates like a recycling of the world.

[1159] We just can't wrap our head around something that's that far or that long, that much longer of a period of existence than our own life.

[1160] The idea of this cycle that's billions and billions of years, we are so important in our own lives that the idea that that's how small a part we play for real, I'm going to exist for 80 years inside some weird biological body and some crazy process that happens every 16, 17 billion years, these things collide with each other and everything starts completely from new.

[1161] No planets, man, no nothing.

[1162] Just particles and gas and heat and nuclear explosions and fucking mass connects all these different objects together and they slowly form planets and then life grows on them and then life becomes complex, life becomes intelligent, And self -aware life creates technology, goes to war, blows up the fucking universe, and then they collide again, and more collide all around.

[1163] And it's a constant cycle of society, life, everything, the universe, complexity gets to a certain peak, and then just, they just hit each other.

[1164] Boom.

[1165] Maybe it's not that much time in between each collision.

[1166] Maybe it's not.

[1167] Maybe a genius thought or a really great idea.

[1168] When people have like super great ideas, maybe that's a collision.

[1169] collision that's happened.

[1170] Maybe like maybe maybe it happens on the micro scale and not just on the macro scale.

[1171] It's like perhaps there's like super tiny universes that bubble against stars and like manifest in the form of somebody who came up with the theory of relativity or some kind of culture shaping idea like communism or something like that.

[1172] Maybe that every great idea is just a projection of the multiverse.

[1173] coming through people and manifesting here is massive global change and maybe we're getting hit by more of them now like a meteor swarm of these multi these other universes bumping into ours fucking McKinnett wrote this awesome weird story did you ever read this thing he talked about how right around with when Christianity started the universe ripped into a multiverse and there's another advanced dimension right next to ours that's concerned over the fact that we have nuclear weapons, but like normally we could be ignored, but the fact we have nuclear weapons kind of like makes things in multiverses next to us that are aware of us worried.

[1174] But he wrote it not like it was really, he wrote it in this strange way.

[1175] Like I couldn't tell if he was trying to write a metaphor or something.

[1176] I wish someone would find it.

[1177] It was fucking cool.

[1178] But this Tesla thing you're talking about, it's so funny because you have to think, okay, well, I guess my brain just completely manufactured this alternate reality where super intelligent people had invented all these things.

[1179] That's like one version of it, or the other version, which a lot of, I think, shamans talk about, is the idea of the spirit world where at that moment your astral body went to some alternate dimension and saw one possibility of the way our universe could have turned out.

[1180] And then came back here, and now you're broadcasting that to as many people as listen to the show.

[1181] you're a leak of some weird some weird coordinate of the multiverse is coming through you now as you talk about this thing that's like it's a dream maybe there's some fucking part of the multiverse where werewolf 69 guerrillas I got to stay the fuck away from there it just to me it was almost like a little message that everything is preposterous do you take do you ever stop and wonder how much your life, how much of the things that you go through are real and how much of it may be some sort of background noise going on in this weird play that you're creating for yourself that your imagination is put forth and then someday you're going to understand it all.

[1182] But right now, it's all the people that are in front of you are the bit players and you're supposed to be trying to figure this fucking thing out as you move along.

[1183] All that stuff that's going on in the background, car accidents and war.

[1184] There seems like there's too many pieces going together too like too many times i'm like that's just weird that that just happened like that you know like it just like you're manifesting things in your own mind yeah yeah yeah there's not it's not it's not foolproof you know it's not like you can prove it right but there's something going on yeah i think it is i think there there there's something to the idea that we're like when you know someone is going to call you and then you pick up the phone and it's them that's just weird.

[1185] There's something to that.

[1186] I don't know what it is.

[1187] I'm not, but I don't buy that it's just coincidence.

[1188] It may be coincidence sometimes, but I've had sharp moments where I thought of somebody and I looked at the phone and it started ringing and it was them.

[1189] Like sharp moments.

[1190] Like, I don't know what that is.

[1191] I don't know what it is.

[1192] You could say that it's just luck in anticipation meeting each other, you know, that I was hoping that person called me, but not even, man sometimes you don't even think about that person for a long time then all a sudden you think about them like wow I haven't talked to him in fucking 10 years and then he leaves you an email yeah you're like what is that what is what is just happened to me dude I just on on the lavender hour I just did my friend Brennan Walsh came in and we both go to the same medicinal marijuana dispensary and we were both talking about how awesome it is and the people who work there really fucking cool and so I'm like you know what I'm gonna do a commercial for this dispensary.

[1193] Like if I want to do like all the way commercials should be, I'm not getting paid.

[1194] They don't even know who I am.

[1195] I'm just going to do this commercial because they're cool people and it's a cool fucking place.

[1196] So I did like, like there's a character on the lavender or a teacup pig.

[1197] It's basically little hobo.

[1198] Like I am so high right now.

[1199] I did this stupid commercial for them.

[1200] The next day I went in there to get my medicine and I walked in and the guy's like, hey, hey, look at this.

[1201] Look at this.

[1202] And he just pulled up on the computer.

[1203] The Lavender Hour episode where I did the advertisement.

[1204] Now, what the fuck are the odds of that?

[1205] The odds of that are pretty goddamn slim.

[1206] I mean, I think the odds that that guy would even hear about it are pretty slim, but if you consider the idea of me coming there at the exact time you just pulled it up on the computer.

[1207] Dude, I don't think you have any idea how many people listen to you on this podcast.

[1208] I bet that guy probably was a big podhead podcast fan, and he probably listens to this one or listens to you.

[1209] yours and he knew exactly who the fuck you were and he's seen you online because he thought you were hilarious when i find out about a comedian of someone that i think it's funny or a musician some new music like i just got into queens of the stone age recently i've been looking up on them and reading all different you know articles about them and downloaded a couple of their CDs it's great stuff but when you then you all of a sudden you know what that person looks like right you recognize them so this guy was like a lavender hour fan he wasn't his friend had told him about it i'm just saying the weird temporal coincidence of me i don't know why i even try to pee on your parade yeah he on the parade man i don't know first of all i i mean um this is but i more people listen to your show than the lavender are for one two you got to get rid of that broad get out of here i'm just kidding i was like holy shit joe i was like oh man don't go down that road please, man. People love those kind of couple shows.

[1210] Jay Moore does it with his girl, and everybody, there was an article on our website about what's his face.

[1211] Who the fuck does it with his girl?

[1212] Bill Bear, Bill Burr, Jesus Christ.

[1213] Bill Burr and his girlfriend will get into arguments.

[1214] And he does it on his Monday morning podcast.

[1215] There was a whole thread about how they love it when Bill Burr's girlfriend comes on because it's fun.

[1216] I think that's some of the funniest moments when we start arguing.

[1217] Kevin Smith's funny with his wife.

[1218] That was an interesting one it's it's you know it's a different dynamic man you know husband and wives have weird dynamics men and women have weird dynamics you know doing yours i love doing your podcast it was fun it was fun seeing you uh in this different environment you know because whenever you and i do a podcast we do it over here but doing it over there it was cool to see you know you and her have this real cute little banter thing going back and forth and we're all sitting in this thing together and you have to stop every 20 minutes because it's uh It's about to crash your hard drive.

[1219] Like, it's like so totally dunk.

[1220] It's like, oh, this is awesome.

[1221] It's awesome.

[1222] Hold on, guys.

[1223] I got to save this.

[1224] I got to save this.

[1225] It's just gold.

[1226] Hold on.

[1227] So every 20 minutes, he's saving it on his fucking.

[1228] Yeah, you've fixed it.

[1229] Since then we fixed it.

[1230] We have a sound guy now.

[1231] You fixed it.

[1232] But, you know, what I like, this is what I really liked about it.

[1233] She and you are very different, but she lets you be you.

[1234] She's not trying to change you.

[1235] And you're such an odd guy, Duncan.

[1236] And I've, you know, we've had, you know, you've had situations in the past where girls didn't kind of get that that it was good and they wanted to turn you into something else like do you remember the time we were thinking about quitting comedy and you were going to go back to school yeah because every time I get on the show you remind me and everyone about it well it was a brilliant moment yeah it was a beautiful moment it was a moment which I don't mind by the way I was joking I don't mind no I know I know who were you dating Sigourney Weaver those moments when when you realize that someone is morphing you and then you are trying to conform to what they like because you don't want them to leave you Yeah.

[1237] Those are creepy fucking weird moments, man. That's terrible.

[1238] Those are scary moments.

[1239] Very scary.

[1240] Those are scary fucking moments because, well, they are all, you know what, it's an illusion of being scary because, you know, I mean, well, no, it isn't.

[1241] For some people.

[1242] What happens if you put a baby inside one of those people?

[1243] What happens if like, that's, then, then you're connected forever.

[1244] Then you're chained to a person who's dissatisfied with you as a human.

[1245] But here's the thing, man. they're being with someone for a while you're you're going to watch people go through phases and there're going to be some phases that people are in that maybe you're not so cool with you know what i mean and you have to differentiate between is this person or am i dissatisfied with some core aspect of this human or are they just in a weird spot right now and i got to you know what i mean it's it's tricky being in a relationship you and your chick are unusual and that you're both in the same line of business and you work to you and you still get along yeah how the fuck does that happen um doesn't always happen it doesn't always happen we don't always get along we're not in a we have a great relationship but if you think that i mean relationships aren't idyllic you know what i mean but what is it like like like you're mean and you open for her right yes what that's kind of your feature for her yeah i'm not a lot.

[1246] I should open car doors for.

[1247] I open everything.

[1248] I open fucking cans.

[1249] What I'm trying to say is she's a good comic too.

[1250] She's a great comic and she's fucking disciplined and really funny and when we work together our synergy creates a lot of funny shit and I make her laugh and she's got one of the greatest laughs I've ever heard and so that keeps me wanting to be funny around her and instead of it like her rejecting me being funny she embraces it and so that You've had girls reject you being funny?

[1251] I wouldn't say, like, reject me being funny, but I think it's more of it.

[1252] It's more with her...

[1253] Is it a conformity thing?

[1254] They wanted you to, like, not have these crazy ideas.

[1255] It's always power, man. Really?

[1256] It's not a conformity thing.

[1257] It's like you're either in a relationship with somebody where you can create a symbiosis and merge your power together and you both want each other to be successful, or you're in a situation with someone where somebody wants to be on top, somebody wants to be ahead, someone wants to be literally on top.

[1258] In every single way.

[1259] And so if you're in a relationship where somebody's trying to repress your creativity out of fear, then as a human being, you have to get out of that relationship.

[1260] But it's not that easy when you're in love with somebody.

[1261] What do you mean by what you were just saying?

[1262] Someone that always wants to be on top.

[1263] Yeah, on top.

[1264] On top of the game, on top of you in every way.

[1265] The dominant one.

[1266] If you're with someone who...

[1267] You've had that, man?

[1268] oh yeah I would say you did win you like that one girl full full on someone just constantly fucking with you constantly telling you what to do really yeah yeah but I think I think I think the important thing to realize though is that she has a vagina is that yeah exactly it's a life of hell but it's true they're fucking shades of this that we're talking about there's shades of this and I and the reason it's kind of a common you know it's a common thing when you see in a sitcom or a movie, the theme of the guy, yes, dear, whatever she wants is what goes.

[1269] It's because we're talking about some form of interaction that happens between the masculine and feminine energy.

[1270] Well, you know, it's really interesting.

[1271] You've grown more, it's true.

[1272] You've grown more as a person.

[1273] I mean, you've always been a guy who's really pretty introspective and kind of brutally honest about yourself, pro or con. But when you're in a steady relationship, I always feel like, especially like right now, like you're in a healthy one, you're in a, you're like in a way different place creatively.

[1274] Like you're able to express yourself without the burden of there's a lot of psychological fucking warfare that goes on and constantly bad relationships that really clouds up the mind.

[1275] And when you're in a healthy relationship, you know, like you are, it allows you to think about things much clear.

[1276] your ability to describe reality just over the past few years you've gotten so much better at it man your writing's gotten better your comedy's gotten better you've always been a super smart dude but I think that when you're in a position where you find someone who doesn't try to fucking change who you are that's so important it's the worst thing in the world to see one of your friends stuck in some situation where someone's trying to get him to be something that he's not right not encourage him to do what he wants to do but to get him to you're never going to make it as a comedian just give this up yeah the thing about right books you can write books yeah i get encouraged like yeah it's a very cool relationship because the incur i get encouraged right to go on stage more right it's more you got to go on stage more you got to go up all the time you got to work harder why you get on stage do you got to do stand -up go on the road get a headlining set exactly that's like a really good situation for you yeah for you for sure yeah But, you know, if she was married to some square dude who's like, you know, fucking accountant or something like that, it's like, you know, her interests and needs and weirdness would probably be too much for him.

[1277] You know what I mean?

[1278] It's like you guys meet at the perfect time your weirdness and your comedy, your creativity.

[1279] She understands it.

[1280] She gets it.

[1281] She gets what you're doing.

[1282] She gets that this is going to result in you killing on stage.

[1283] Whereas someone who doesn't see you as being successful enough thinks that they can fix you in most.

[1284] you and turned you into something respectable they can bring at parties.

[1285] Oh, this is my boyfriend Duncan.

[1286] He's a professor of Cornell.

[1287] What do you teach?

[1288] Well, you know, mostly ancient history, but...

[1289] Some philosophy.

[1290] Can I get you another drink?

[1291] You know, you got leather, those swayed patches on your elbows, and you're just thinking about telling a great, suck my cock joke, and killing in front of a large crowd at the comedy store on a Friday night, a nice 10 o 'clock spot you're crushing you're thinking about that while you're hanging out with some dildos some stupid house where they eat french cheese and come in their pants wow the second part and then you watch two monkeys fuck i knew a dude from france and him and his wife became friends of them and they had me over for some weird dish that they have with non -pasteurized cheeses and he was like really adamant about that that when they homogenize and pasteurized cheese in America fucks up the flavor so he has to sneak this shit over illegal cheese yeah he actually sneaks it over wow yeah yeah he puts it in some uh a container that says it's pasteurized or marginalized have people that will do it for him because it stinks and it's got all this bacteria in it you know it's it's it's so good that's what it's sorry but that's what blue cheese is you look at those crumbles the blue cheese the blue part that's like fucking mold man why would it be illegal though just because it's considered like a poison or something It's a good question.

[1292] I think it's a really good question.

[1293] I think just for public health concerns, when you like raw milk, it's like real dangerous.

[1294] You can only keep it for a certain amount of time.

[1295] You know, how long is it good for?

[1296] I mean, regular milk's good for like a month.

[1297] Raw milk can't be good for more than like seven or nine days or something like that.

[1298] I would imagine.

[1299] And, you know, people can get sick.

[1300] You know, and I think that's some of the theory behind it is that when you homogenize things, you pasteurize them, you can keep them on the shelf longer.

[1301] But that's also how you approach.

[1302] apparently cook the enzymes.

[1303] That's one of the reasons why people have lactose intolerance, but some people with lactose intolerance can actually drink raw milk and not have any problems with it.

[1304] Weird.

[1305] Yeah, but raw milk tastes delicious, dude.

[1306] Raw whole milk.

[1307] It's like really, it tastes really good.

[1308] Like with cookies, oh, it's the shit.

[1309] It's so, like, rich and creamy and, you know, and it seems so alive when you drink it as opposed to, like, you know, when you drink regular homogenized, pasteurized milk, that's just like milk body.

[1310] That's dead milk It's almost water It's almost like just white water Or something It's not So weird It comes from a cow This cheese that I got in Paris God you sound like a jerk When you talk like this You sound like such a jerk But this cheese I had It was like It was not just like A little bit of mold Like you'll get cheesy And you'll see the green stuff It was like Flourishing mold Like when you leave like Just rising above the cheese Just like glowing with mold And it was so good You just ate the mull.

[1311] I ate it all.

[1312] I ate the mold and all of it.

[1313] Did you get any diarrhea or weird feelings?

[1314] Yes.

[1315] Oh, God.

[1316] I don't even want to talk about what I did.

[1317] I don't even want to talk about what I did do at Jens Club.

[1318] Why would you even eat that?

[1319] That I was there.

[1320] Wait a mean, so you had all this delicious food and you got mad diarrhea.

[1321] And you're trying to get us to eat it.

[1322] It wasn't diarrhea.

[1323] It was something worse.

[1324] Diarria is not the right to mean for it.

[1325] Did your girl get it too?

[1326] No, I don't think so.

[1327] Did she eat the same stuff you ate?

[1328] Yeah.

[1329] If she got it, she didn't tell me. Well, good for her.

[1330] That's good for her.

[1331] That's nice.

[1332] She went CIA with it.

[1333] No, but like, I, this is, I don't want to tell a shit story.

[1334] I had, it was very intense what it did to my stomach.

[1335] Dude, there's nothing wrong with a good shit story.

[1336] I was in this jazz club in Paris.

[1337] And I have, first of all, if you say that to the right girl, you're in.

[1338] Not when I followed up with this.

[1339] Okay.

[1340] I, like, what I did to the bathroom, because, like, when I, got up after I'd finished.

[1341] I'm trying to make this as not.

[1342] When I was done with my shit and I looked back at the toilet, it was like a shit bazooka had come out of my...

[1343] It was like everything was just covered.

[1344] Everything.

[1345] Like, it was crazy.

[1346] Where I, I panicked.

[1347] I was like, I got to get out of here.

[1348] If someone walks in here now, I might get arrested.

[1349] There's that much shit.

[1350] I might get arrested.

[1351] Like, they would arrest you for over shit.

[1352] Look him in the crink Do you know girls share poop Pictures with each other just like guys do Really?

[1353] They take pictures of their poop I would imagine Yeah this is the new world Women should be allowed of the freedom Of shocking people with their giant poops I love it I wish I could put them online I wish I could put my pictures online That's a good picture You can The fuck out of here Nothing's stopping you Just intelligence Hey you're gonna be in New Orleans Nobody wants to see your shit man I don't want to show my hat.

[1354] When I see people's shit, I don't know I'm going to see it.

[1355] Yeah, I'm going to be in New Orleans.

[1356] Yeah, you got to check out this restaurant in New Orleans.

[1357] It's crazy.

[1358] It's called Oceans.

[1359] Hold on, I tell you right now.

[1360] I just started thinking about those catacombs.

[1361] Ocean.

[1362] I'm freaking out again.

[1363] Ocean.

[1364] Ocean.

[1365] Yeah, I just saw the show on TV.

[1366] Is that the one Mincea owns?

[1367] You're trying to trick me?

[1368] Is it really?

[1369] He owns something.

[1370] No, no, no, no. They were on that show.

[1371] I was talking about once, Kitchen Nightmares.

[1372] And you got to watch it season four Last episode of season four But the guy on there is cycle And almost tried to beat up the chef And then the kitchen man or the head chef Had like some seizure thing going on with his face And they fired him on the show Anyways, they're completely crazy And so sometimes when people are on that show I'll go on Yelp to see if like their business is still You know like in business And so I see what the reviews now are And on their Yelp right now It's like 110 We came with 110 people we were trying to negotiate the bill like manager went psycho called cops on and started throwing things screaming and so you watch this episode and then you look at this yelp this might be the craziest fucking place ever to go to wow you got it and then you look at their website and it's like friendly website like the most happiest thing in the world that's crazy that's funny have you ever been there before New Orleans?

[1373] Yes a long time ago I was there for a UFC it was in who knows God when Nobody knew what the UFC was back then It was during the news radio days Yeah, I don't remember much Remember we put on some fights and left I remember I ate at a restaurant And people were saying, be careful, it's dangerous That's what I kept hearing What?

[1374] Be careful is dangerous Yeah People kept saying Yeah, be careful, it's dangerous People get robbed Yeah There's apparently an extraordinary amount of crime Around New Orleans My dad would take me to New Orleans He'd go to a bar He'd give me like 60 bucks I'd get fucking drunk and wander down the street and just take nitrous oxide hits.

[1375] Hold on a second.

[1376] How old were you?

[1377] I think I was like 16, 15, I don't know.

[1378] What?

[1379] That's what I used to do that at 16, too.

[1380] Yeah, I would go down the street and get, because you could buy nitrous oxide balloons.

[1381] So I - Crackers.

[1382] This is how bad a kid I was.

[1383] I spent all my money on a stripper and all these nitrous oxide balloons and some booze.

[1384] so I know it was money that was supposed to last for a couple of days that my dad had given me and then I told my dad I gotten mugged to get more money to spend on more nitrous oxide isn't that crazy the easy whip corporation half of their profit is just from people 16 year olds doing balloons that crazy come on half their profit I mean that's you can't say that it has to be I used to buy cases of that oh I thought you were like reading something online oh I'm sure man I bet it's not even 1 % no way No, no, 16 -year -olds, all 16 -year -olds do it.

[1385] Easy whip.

[1386] One out of 100.

[1387] How many people do you know that make their own whipped cream?

[1388] Yeah, exactly.

[1389] Yeah, exactly.

[1390] Thank you, don't get it.

[1391] I've made my own whipped cream.

[1392] It's awesome.

[1393] Well, here's some homemade whipped cream, everyone.

[1394] Enjoy.

[1395] I made this myself.

[1396] Listen, I have done it a couple times, and it is delicious.

[1397] I think most people buy the whip stuff.

[1398] Don't get me wrong.

[1399] I've made it a couple times.

[1400] It's pretty badass.

[1401] You got to get one of those blender things.

[1402] when there's two whisks and they spin with each other and you get it a bowl and you add all the ingredients I've done it a couple times it's pretty dope real whipped cream tastes better because you know just but I think you know come on man I ain't making that shit I don't have the time for that no way but the stuff that's in the cans that doesn't taste as good that doesn't taste as good as real whipped cream like if you go to a real restaurant you get some real whipped cream with strawberries Shazam so when I see a can of whipped cream to this day all I think about is how high it can make me too really that's all that comes through my mind when I see a can of whipped cream when I used to my I had a friend in high school introduced me to whip it's and after that I don't know if my parents thought I was trying to become a pastry chef or what the fuck they thought it was turned into in Ohio they sold it everywhere too they just sell it at video stores whip it's like you come in you go buy a cracker a balloon and the easy whip at a video store that's how popular it was in Columbus yeah and so what Is it, is it, is it, there's no whipped creaming it then.

[1403] It's just the air.

[1404] No, no, it's just the air that you used to screw on the machines that would pump the air out, like to go.

[1405] You learn how to do it.

[1406] You don't shake it up.

[1407] You buy it and you don't shake it up because the gas rises at the top.

[1408] So you just do it right off the top when you first do it.

[1409] Yeah, you do it.

[1410] I'm talking about these little cancesters that you put in like a thing and they put a balloon on cracking.

[1411] Sucking the whipped cream.

[1412] Yeah, I never did that.

[1413] That's, that seems more like wasting your time.

[1414] So you're talking about just some nitrous.

[1415] in a little container they sell easy whips where are that what it's called nitrous oxide no yeah i know too yeah it's nitrous yeah i think nitrous oxide right uh but yeah and they come in these little containers and they come you buy them by the case and each balloon then you have that a metal cracker that looks kind of like something like a camping gear thing where you unscrew it and you put it in close it you put the balloon on one side and you crack it and it just fills a whole balloon and then just take the balloon i know what you're talking about when i was a kid i worked at a one of those um ice cream places.

[1416] It's called Newport's Creamery.

[1417] Newport Creamery, they served, like, cheeseburgers and shit.

[1418] I was a cook for a little while, and I got fucking horrible zits from that.

[1419] That's the nastiest ever.

[1420] But I also scooped ice cream and made ice cream Sundays, and we would have to go replenish the containers, because they would make their own whipped cream.

[1421] So they had these giant fucking containers of nitric oxide, and everyone was a burnout.

[1422] They would all go back there and get...

[1423] You do it?

[1424] I only did it once.

[1425] I didn't like it.

[1426] That was my...

[1427] I was scared of drugs days.

[1428] That was all my martial arts days.

[1429] You know what that sound is, don't you?

[1430] God's helicopter Is that what happens When you do the nitric trip Your sound just starts going in waves You hear the old That's what it sounds like You hear the old Okay any truth to the fact That shit instantly makes you retarded It must Yeah Yeah it seems like it would fuck you up hardcore But it's not as bad as as disc cleaner Like I also When I couldn't find a nitrous I would get disc cleaner Like for keyboards and stuff like that That shit was way worse I remember doing that and going Wow this is horrible Are you talking about Amel nitrate No no no no no he's talking about the spray The spray that used to spray on keyboards I don't think they have it anymore I think it's air now This shit Yeah let's do it Oh no not that Get high for us Don't do that Don't do it please I'm just kidding I don't think that's just canned air I don't think they make it anymore Maybe not I don't know Century Duster Maybe I kind of feel a little light hitting.

[1431] Do you?

[1432] So what would that stuff do to you?

[1433] It would do almost the same thing as nitrous, but it was grosser.

[1434] Like after you're done, you're like, ugh, that's nasty.

[1435] It seems like it's what you're experiencing is just oxygen being cut out of your bloodstream and your body almost dying.

[1436] Think about how many different ways people have sought to achieve altered states of consciousness.

[1437] Huffing paint.

[1438] Hanging themselves and jerking off while they wear lingerie.

[1439] Yeah, how about that?

[1440] I was watching the wonderful whites of West Virginia again on the plane.

[1441] And one of the things, They were talking about how much gasoline he sniffed, that he huffed so much gasoline he could tell the difference from regular and high test.

[1442] He doesn't have to look at the time.

[1443] And he was talking about how he huff gasoline for 10 years.

[1444] Oh, my God.

[1445] Have you seen my strange addiction?

[1446] No. What is that?

[1447] It's a show on TLC, and one of the episodes is a woman who's addicted to sniffing gasoline.

[1448] Oh, my God.

[1449] I wake up in the morning sniff galats.

[1450] She's, like, super hooked on it.

[1451] So her house is just filled with, like, old bottles of like gas and she brings in gas she spends all her money on gas oh my god she's a gas she just addicted to huffing gas she loves it what the fuck is that is that psychological it must be right yeah because she's like can you get addicted yeah you can i mean shit watch that episode is it is it she's addicted or she craves it kind of like that disease where you crave eating dirt you've been huffing gas for 15 years you're crazy yeah but what i'm saying is it become does it become physically addictive like they think that amy winehouse one of the Speculations with that Amy Winehouse died because she tried to quit alcohol cold turkey Which can't happen to people.

[1452] Yeah.

[1453] But they know that happens to people.

[1454] They also found medication in her room.

[1455] Who knows?

[1456] But you're right.

[1457] It's very possible.

[1458] But my point is that it is possible for that to happen.

[1459] They know that's a documentable occurrence.

[1460] People just quit.

[1461] They die.

[1462] Oh yeah.

[1463] You need to wean yourself off the alcohol is too in stress on your system to just quit.

[1464] You can kill you.

[1465] That's amazing.

[1466] Delirium tremens.

[1467] You hallucinate and you die.

[1468] And it's probably it's probably several drugs that are like that very addictive drugs that are like that yeah there's antidepressants that if you get off of you you'll you'll get vertigo dude have you seen the fucking commercials for that game deuce dude something X the one where like people some cyborgs oh it's a new video game what the fuck man I watch that it's an insane dose X dose X I think that's how you say it but yeah that's a really old game man and this is the newest version of this really old concept that was like a really wicked game, if I remember.

[1469] It was made by the same guys that made Dicatana.

[1470] It was like this faction of ID software that broke off.

[1471] And there was this character.

[1472] I think his name was Romero.

[1473] And he started this company, and they made two games.

[1474] And one of them had all this hype behind it.

[1475] It was called Dicatana.

[1476] And I thought it was pretty badass.

[1477] It was great, like, Death Match style.

[1478] He was like a Quake One guy.

[1479] He was with Quake from the very beginning.

[1480] But this other game, they made this Dose X. I'm pretty sure.

[1481] it's the same company and this game was apparently wicked dude fucking the commercial have you seen the commercial with the cyborgs begging because they are they're on this drug that you have to be on or your body rejects the cybernetic part no so it's all these people with like cyborg arms or like hookers with cyborg legs begging because they have to pay for this medicine that you have to take to keep the to keep your itself alive and it's got it's i don't know what the game plays like is this seems like just pure CGI like movie making so I don't know what the game plays like is this a is it an Xbox game or a PC game I don't know what game Dose X do you how these go I don't know how to spell the weird way D -EU X or D -E X or D -E it's got an X in it yeah if you look up like side it was a computer game but I think they also ported it to avert to something it was a couple years ago probably yeah it was a long time ago this one's coming out this month the first one came out a long time ago I might be confused of linking it up with the people from Daikata.

[1482] Sorry Uber nerds and geeks if I've steered you wrong.

[1483] Do you remember Daikata?

[1484] No. It's pretty dope.

[1485] It was fun.

[1486] It was disappointing to a lot of people because they thought that it was kind of derivative, you know, a bunch of other games that existed, but to me it was pretty fucking fun.

[1487] Especially the death match was really fun.

[1488] I don't need any other game than StarCraft 2.

[1489] You don't like Fast Twitch games like Quake?

[1490] StarCraft 2's Fast Twitch?

[1491] Yeah, but sorry to get a little defensive.

[1492] Did you notice?

[1493] 2V2 Gold League.

[1494] He got a little defensive, right?

[1495] Me?

[1496] He did.

[1497] I did.

[1498] I love that game.

[1499] He's a little defensive.

[1500] He's a dick.

[1501] He's like StarCraft 2 is fast Twitch.

[1502] I'm in a constant argument with everyone over StarCraft 2.

[1503] They think I'm a total dork.

[1504] Well, for one, playing StarCraft 2 is like, they think I'm in...

[1505] How much are you playing?

[1506] StarCraft 2?

[1507] Yeah, how often?

[1508] Not as much as a Korean, but not as much as the China name.

[1509] I don't know, three...

[1510] I'll admit, three, three games a day.

[1511] There's a lot of people right now saying that that's racist.

[1512] But he's meanwhile, ladies and gentlemen, listen to the context of using it.

[1513] He's saying it's awesome.

[1514] Yeah.

[1515] Saying it's awesome.

[1516] Yeah.

[1517] But let's be honest, Asians love that game.

[1518] They do.

[1519] They do.

[1520] They're fucking great at it.

[1521] Don't they have like, we've talked about this before.

[1522] Yeah, they've televised things.

[1523] It's the first time I feel like I've been able to watch something akin to sports and really get excited about it.

[1524] Because they just had this big tournament and they have like famous players and it was really cool to watch these two famous players.

[1525] compete against each other and knowing the game and having played it, seeing the crazy tricks they're using and the crazy control they have over so many variables.

[1526] It's amazing to watch.

[1527] And then it's so funny because I was thinking like, athletes of the future are all going to be fat and pale because like they cut to these guys who just played this insane game that's like required so much brainpower to control this stuff.

[1528] And since all they do is play computers, they're kind of emotionless.

[1529] like you cut to like a UFC fighter after he just knocked someone out and it's like watching Julius Caesar march into a city that he's just defeated it's fucking you're watching glory when you got cut to a Starcraft two fighter player who's just won a game it's just kind of like one of them took his shirt off because underneath that he was wearing a shirt that was like kind of insulting and he's like yeah then walked over and like shook the guy's hand oh good job and that's it but meanwhile they just did this crazy thing where they were controlled i never played the game i've watched the things online i can't i don't understand what's happening so i can't appreciate it you know what i mean greatest game it's like it's like this it's like sim city and space it looks pretty crazy it looks like you got to do a lot of different things and you're moving around a lot of different shit and you're setting things up all over the place yeah you're building the idea is you're building up this economy by gathering resources And while you're building this economy, you're also constructing an army that has to be based on what your opponent's doing.

[1530] So you can't just do the same thing over and over again.

[1531] You have to, like, scout what your opponent's doing.

[1532] And from seeing what they're doing, you understand what their strategy probably is.

[1533] And then you have to, like, create a perfect offense to what they're doing while building a defense that works against the type of troops they're constructing because it might not always, you have to be completely reactive and you have to be able to do all of this well it's like juggling you're juggling all these crazy balls at once and you have to be able to do this and also instantaneously react to shit that you don't expect to happen isn't it crazy that the most satisfying game is a virtual representative of war yeah totally they pretty much all are yeah yeah it's not amazing all that battlefield earth call a duty quake maria brothers unreal tournament the mario It's all some sort of a futuristic or, you know, ancient war.

[1534] It's either like World War II or something like that or it's futuristic.

[1535] Yeah, what the fuck, man?

[1536] You read that book War by Sebastian Younger where there's a where he does, he describes what that's like to be behind a fucking machine gun blasting people.

[1537] Like, he does this incredible description of it.

[1538] And the adrenaline that that creates is like amazing.

[1539] But I'll tell you something else that creates adrenaline.

[1540] When I do a tin pool rush into my opponent's base and my fucking speedlings encircle his base and devour it.

[1541] And he, and then he has the audacity to text me and say that I was doing cheese moves.

[1542] That's the greatest feeling ever.

[1543] I see it and I believe it and I think that if I got into it, I'd fucking love it too.

[1544] I see the connection.

[1545] You would try to go crazy.

[1546] Don't go there.

[1547] I got to delete it.

[1548] I'm deleting it tomorrow.

[1549] I think pool for me is a form.

[1550] of like a moving meditation when I'm running out when I play pool it's I'm using my body as well and that's one of the things that I like about it the most that I'm forcing my mind to control the exact amount of force my body exerts on a piece of wood that impacts a ball that collides it into another ball and moves around in order to do it right I have to be in total tune with the amount of revolutions I'm causing this ball to turn over a nine foot table I mean that's what I'm control so you to get like into that like real groove of being like dead stroke where you really feel the movement it really is like a form of meditation so that's why i prefer it over video games i had to pick my poison i had to pick like what thing am i allowing myself to be addicted to and i think i get more out of the pool than i did out of the video games the video games was fun as fuck man i love them to this day but i can't play you have you played any of the connect games like There's a game right now called Child of Eden, and if you fucking smoke some good weed or take some shrooms and stand in front of that game, you'll fucking feel like you're doing virtual reality.

[1551] If I'm alone at home, I'll fire up gears of war for a goof and just going to fucking rampage because it's fun because it's just graphics are so dope, so wild, seeing these fucking monsters that they've created.

[1552] I'll do that for fun on the big screen.

[1553] But yeah, man, you've got to moderate it.

[1554] That's a problem.

[1555] It's so fucking addictive, and it's so easy to lose your mind.

[1556] Easy to get lost in it.

[1557] It's really good.

[1558] Lost, lost, but yet it's so fucking fun.

[1559] And who is to say that that fun is less real than the fun that you get actually out there playing basketball, you know?

[1560] I'll say it.

[1561] Can I say it?

[1562] Yeah, me too.

[1563] I think it's less real?

[1564] Yes.

[1565] But why?

[1566] What if you're just in tune and dominating on this fucking game?

[1567] Why?

[1568] Because when I get done with an addictive session of World of Warcraft, and I've been playing, or I'm sorry, I used to be addicted to that, to Starcraft, too.

[1569] When I get up after playing that game for like three or four hours straight and walk outside, I feel like some, I feel like I'm like mentally disabled.

[1570] I feel drained.

[1571] My sleep sucks.

[1572] When I fucking, you know, go to the gym or go jogging or do something like that, I feel great for the rest of the day.

[1573] So video games are amazing and weirdly games that involve strategy, I think you can extrapolate some information from that that you can use in real life.

[1574] but you've got to do it in very small doses.

[1575] It's like that seems like the responsibility of human beings.

[1576] We've got this incredible brand new technology that's exploding in front of us.

[1577] The discipline is not to reject it totally.

[1578] Like those assholes when you hear, I don't even have cell phone.

[1579] It's not to reject it.

[1580] The idea is to moderate it.

[1581] Learn how to use it like a tool.

[1582] How do you do it?

[1583] That's what everything is.

[1584] It's like when I said I was addicted to city of heroes.

[1585] I used to always fantasize about jumping on from building to building just because I had been playing that video game so much.

[1586] that was something I was doing repetitively, you know, all day, you know, all night.

[1587] If you dropped me off in the middle of a castle and it looked like the scenes from Quake 1, I might start pretending I got a rocket launcher.

[1588] That'd be so funny.

[1589] I might start talking like one of those quake cats.

[1590] Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

[1591] Running down hallways with rocket launchers.

[1592] That's awesome.

[1593] Duncan, as usual.

[1594] Yes.

[1595] You're the best.

[1596] You're the best, man. No, you're the best, man. You are.

[1597] That was too much fun.

[1598] Too interesting.

[1599] and I'm going to enjoy all the taped phone conversations that the FBI will be tuning into you and myself and all over our ideas over the next.

[1600] Get ready to get bored, FBI.

[1601] I only have these conversations here.

[1602] My phone conversations suck.

[1603] Have fun with that.

[1604] Thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring the podcast.

[1605] If you go to jo -rogan .net and click on the link for the flashlight, enter in the code name Rogan, and you will get 15 % off the number one sex toy for men.

[1606] Thank you, everybody who came out to the show in Milwaukee.

[1607] Thanks to everybody who sang happy birthday.

[1608] date to me that was one of the coolest things that I've ever had happened in my life it was pretty fun Milwaukee was the shit I had a great time next big road gig is Denver Colorado September 23rd at the Paramount Theater and that's me and Joey motherfucking Diaz it's not it's not I new Orleans in between that September 23rd when is New Orleans it is hold I'll tell you right now Of September?

[1609] 916, 2011.

[1610] Okay.

[1611] So there, 916, 2011, ladies and gentlemen, I'll be at the House of Blues in New Orleans.

[1612] And there's some of the get there early because some people are going to have to stand up, unfortunately.

[1613] There was no other way I could get a show there.

[1614] There was another place.

[1615] Do not get the stand -up seats.

[1616] You will hate it.

[1617] It sucks.

[1618] It sucks standing up.

[1619] But I'll try to be as energetic as possible.

[1620] I instituted a policy when Brian and I went to see Doug Stanhope when we enjoyed the fuck out of Stanhope, as always.

[1621] but it wasn't fun to stand and watch a show.

[1622] So I decided, you know what?

[1623] I'm being rude asking people to stand and watch my shows.

[1624] Like from now on, I'm going to make sure that every show I do, people are seated.

[1625] But there was no places in town.

[1626] There was nothing I could do.

[1627] There was, like, small places that were like 50 seats or, you know, the House of Blues.

[1628] So we're going to do the House of Blues, and it's a rare seating and standing show.

[1629] And that's September.

[1630] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1631] Go to Joe Rogan.

[1632] For details.

[1633] All right.

[1634] Can I invite someone to a show?

[1635] Fuck, yeah.

[1636] I'm in L .A. tonight, laugh factory, tomorrow night.

[1637] What time?

[1638] Comedy store.

[1639] Thursday, the Improv.

[1640] Go to one of these shows and say hi, please.

[1641] Yeah, please do.

[1642] And Brian, what is this?

[1643] You're doing a show at the Improv?

[1644] I'll be at the improv tonight at 10 o 'clock and if you used the coupon code red, you get free tickets.

[1645] I'm going to retweet that shit right now if anybody is interested and you want to go heckle Brian.

[1646] Don't do that.

[1647] He's learning to get real good at that.

[1648] He's like a ninja out there.

[1649] All right, thank you very much for tuning in.

[1650] We've got to figure out when.

[1651] Hopefully I'm going to get Kevin Smith for the rest of this week and we've got to make nice, nice with Jay Moore.

[1652] Brian and Jay Moore had issues, but Jay Moore's being very nice about it.

[1653] So we must, in the spirit of forgiveness and peacefulness, bring him on, and he's a very talented guy anyway.

[1654] All right, that's it.

[1655] That's the end of the show.

[1656] I love you guys, and thank you very much for everything, and go fuck yourselves.

[1657] How about that?

[1658] Being too nice to you.

[1659] You're getting soft.

[1660] You're getting soft there, freckies.

[1661] Love you guys.

[1662] Thank you very much.

[1663] Bye.