The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett XX
[0] Did you know that the DariVosio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[1] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life, and the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany and Austria.
[2] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[3] And along with the Dyeravisio channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV Plus.
[4] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a Cio channel.
[5] right now.
[6] In the book you talk about these three points of philosophy that...
[7] Oh, the three rules.
[8] The three rules, yeah, that underpin this figureoutable mindset.
[9] Yes.
[10] What are those?
[11] So rule number one is that all problems or dreams are figure outable.
[12] Rule number two, if a problem or a dream isn't figure outable, it's a law of nature, right?
[13] So death, maybe taxes.
[14] Rule number three, you may not care enough to...
[15] to solve a particular dream or reach a particular goal, and that's okay.
[16] Find something that you do care deeply about and go back to rule number one.
[17] And what that does is it creates a container.
[18] A container for us as human beings to be honest about what we care enough about to go figure it out.
[19] Because in my life, there hasn't been one thing yet that I have truly wanted to either understand, achieve, transform.
[20] Do you don't have some different relationship with that when it was true in my heart, that I haven't been able to figure it out.
[21] And if I don't want to figure something out, like I can get real at myself.
[22] Like, I don't care enough about this to go figure it out right now.
[23] That's super important.
[24] Point number three.
[25] It's the one we don't talk about.
[26] Yeah.
[27] Because we'll all have goals in our life that we think are important.
[28] We think we want to do.
[29] I want to, you know, I want to become a DJ.
[30] I want to start working out and get a six -perk.
[31] I want to be an artist.
[32] They often don't happen.
[33] And we end up thinking that they haven't happened because we are an unmotivated person.
[34] So we say, you know, we start beating ourselves up.
[35] I'm unmotivit.
[36] I'm a failure.
[37] I'll just keep trying at it.
[38] We very rarely pause and go, do I actually want it?
[39] And there's this weird thing that I noticed, which I won't name the person, but they know who they are because I know they're listening.
[40] There's this weird thing that I observed, which taught me a really important lesson.
[41] It's just sometimes, like, we want to want something.
[42] And the way that I, I'm just laughing at, the way that I described that is like, we want to want something.
[43] We want to have the motivation to do the thing.
[44] We want to want it.
[45] Yeah, we want to want it.
[46] We think we should want it.
[47] Yes, so we go around saying we want it.
[48] So like, I want to, I really want to go and lift weights, I might say, Stephen, I really want, you know, I'm saying to the world, I don't know, I really want to go and lift weights.
[49] But it's because I want to be the type of person that wants to be that, that wants that.
[50] Yes.
[51] So I go around saying it, but I don't actually want it.
[52] I just want to want it.
[53] Yes.
[54] I had this same conversation with my best friend and we were laughing about this because I have put so much pressure on myself at so many different points of my career because I think I should want something.
[55] Yeah.
[56] And I'm like, but if I, okay, for example, I think you'll appreciate this because I think you and I share a similar philosophy, perhaps about social media.
[57] for example.
[58] So I suck at social media, right?
[59] I'm never on it.
[60] I don't put any attention in it.
[61] I actually had a colleague of mine say to me like, Marie, you're so good at what you do.
[62] Like, why aren't your numbers bigger?
[63] And it was like one of these, you know, like when someone makes a comment and you're like, oh, that kind of feels like a punch in the gut.
[64] And you're just like, oh, oh, I don't know.
[65] And anyone who knows me, my friends, and even my audience, they know, I'm like very transparent.
[66] I'm like, I don't spend a lot of time on my phone.
[67] Like, I'd prefer to write books.
[68] I create programs.
[69] Like there's other things.
[70] And then I, I just want to live my life.
[71] Like I feel like I'm like, oh, there's like, oh, if I was really committed to being a changemaker, then I would be making videos.
[72] I was like, what the hell is that philosophy?
[73] Like, I remember torturing myself.
[74] I should want to want that.
[75] Exactly.
[76] But the truth is I don't.
[77] Exactly.
[78] And that's the hard part to admit.
[79] Yes.
[80] Yes.
[81] That's the really hard part to admit that we just don't care enough.
[82] We just don't want it.
[83] It's someone else's.
[84] It's.
[85] And I think that just having this conversation because I would imagine there's folks listening to us right now that think that they should want to want something and they don't.
[86] And then what happens?
[87] So, you know, I failed to go to the gym to get that six pack that I tell myself I want or I fail to start that business because I don't really want to, but I want to want to start it.
[88] Yep.
[89] And then I use excuses.
[90] And the number one excuse is I just don't have the time because that's a cloaking of, as you said earlier, that's a cloaking of your true priorities.
[91] Yep.
[92] It's a way of saying, So it's not my fault.
[93] It's just a lack of time in the day.
[94] There's only 24 hours.
[95] But really, as you've said, it's actually how you use your time is one of the clearest demonstrations of your priorities.
[96] Of your values.
[97] 100%.
[98] 100%.
[99] The way that I always like to keep myself honest about like what I want and to call myself out on my own excuses, this is the two -word distinction that has helped me the most, understanding the difference between can't versus won't.
[100] So anytime that I'm about say, oh, I can't do that.
[101] I can't do this.
[102] I can't get up earlier to work out to get those six packs.
[103] I can't write my next book.
[104] I just don't have the time for me. Learning Italian.
[105] I can't learn Italian.
[106] I have so much on my plate right now with my business.
[107] So 99, not 100, 99 % of the time when we human beings say can't, it's a euphemism for won't.
[108] And what does won't mean?
[109] Won't means we really don't want to.
[110] We're not willing to make the sacrifice.
[111] It's not that important to us right now.
[112] And so I always encourage myself and other people to play with this.
[113] Like anytime you're about to say the word can't, try on won't or try on that's not a priority for me right now and see how your body feels, going back to this body truth.
[114] Something in me goes, you know what?
[115] I actually don't want to learn Italian right now.
[116] You know why?
[117] Because in my free time, I'm watching the House of Dragons.
[118] I'm, you know what I mean?
[119] I'm watching this show or that show.
[120] Or I'm hanging out with my friends.
[121] Or I'm doing this.
[122] I'm doing something else where I could be dedicating that to my Italian studies, but I'm not.
[123] You know, why?
[124] Because that is not my priority right now.
[125] That is so much more honest and it's so much more freeing.
[126] And then all of a sudden, I'm not a bad person.
[127] I'm not ambitious enough.
[128] I'm just me. Did you know that the driver's CEO now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[129] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life and the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany and Austria.
[130] Samsung TV Plus is a free service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets, and along with the Dyer of a CO channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV Plus.
[131] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a CEO channel right now.