MFM Minisode 148 - Live at My Favorite Weekend in Santa Barbara

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Isn't it exciting, everybody?

[2] The first annual, my favorite weekend.

[3] That's right.

[4] Yes.

[5] It's an exactly right.

[6] Whom's whom?

[7] That's right.

[8] How was the murder squad?

[9] Tell us the truth.

[10] Tell us everywhere.

[11] Were they so amazing?

[12] Isn't it hilarious?

[13] Like, whatever, two years ago, it was like Paul Holes was just this distant internet dream.

[14] And now it's like, he's doing the weekend.

[15] with us.

[16] Come on, everybody.

[17] We're all hanging out backstage.

[18] Yeah, just churning.

[19] Talking about the biz.

[20] The biz.

[21] You know, just stuff like that.

[22] We're very excited to be here with you tonight.

[23] Yeah, it's exciting.

[24] A lot of fireball feelings in the audience.

[25] What did you guys think of that?

[26] Oh my God.

[27] They were like, we need a specialty cocktail for the weekend.

[28] And I was like, I don't want to do that anymore.

[29] Make up cocktails.

[30] So I said, let's do Papp's Blue Ribbon and a shot of a fireball.

[31] And it happened.

[32] Yeah.

[33] That level of power now where when we say the specialty drink is Papp's Blue Ribbon and Fireball, everyone goes, let us make that happen for you.

[34] I'm sorry about your hangover tomorrow.

[35] You're going to hate your life tomorrow.

[36] I apologize in advance.

[37] The bad decisions that are going to result from you having a third triflers need not apply are unbelievable.

[38] They should come with a two, two minimum.

[39] Maximum.

[40] Minimum?

[41] Minimum.

[42] Maximum, yes.

[43] Let's ruin some lives.

[44] Oh my God.

[45] This feels like camp.

[46] It's very campy.

[47] The first thing we're going to do tonight is, like, record a mini episode like we do.

[48] Like we do at home.

[49] At home.

[50] But we'll do it live for you here right now.

[51] Are you ready for it?

[52] Yeah.

[53] Whoa.

[54] Yes.

[55] Whoa.

[56] This is made of 100 % cat fur.

[57] I didn't realize.

[58] No, no. Clearly, we're in rich people territory if the chairs are like this.

[59] Oh, this isn't smart water.

[60] That's the only water we drink.

[61] That's a really nice rotation on these chairs.

[62] That's a good fucking chair, everybody.

[63] These are good.

[64] Oh, let's hear it for DJ Dante Fontana and DJ Fetheel.

[65] Good friends of the podcast.

[66] We were all on LiveJournal.

[67] It's been great.

[68] You met on Makeout Club.

[69] Went on Makeout Club.

[70] Live Journal.

[71] You know, all the hits of the early odds.

[72] Remember.

[73] What about?

[74] Don't care.

[75] Thank you.

[76] This isn't like, oh, I get to shout my feelings time.

[77] And you know that.

[78] You know that if you're here at the weekend.

[79] You know that.

[80] So we're going to, we picked out hometowns.

[81] I was saying we should do it how we do at home, which is quietly read and go.

[82] We wanted to just read in front of you for like 22 minutes, which is what happens to Stephen when we do it there.

[83] But we just circling.

[84] It's true.

[85] It is true.

[86] But instead, we're going to do show stuff and actually read the stories for you.

[87] And then we're going to do a hometown episode where the least drunk of you get to come up on stage and actually.

[88] Yeah.

[89] Actually, tell us your hometown.

[90] So it looks like it's going to be two members of the staff and Vince A .Roll.

[91] I'm just going to say, start drinking water now, okay?

[92] Great.

[93] You'll thank me tomorrow.

[94] Do you want to go first?

[95] Absolutely.

[96] Okay, great.

[97] Good.

[98] Right.

[99] Nice, nice, you guys.

[100] Pindrop silence.

[101] The subject line of this email is a very witchy first responder email.

[102] Hey team.

[103] That's a new one.

[104] Hey team.

[105] You ask for all things weird and spooky, so I hope this hometown delivers.

[106] If not, well, fuck it.

[107] Very strong start, yes.

[108] I work as a first responder in a rural county in Northern California.

[109] Oh, in California.

[110] It's six miles behind, southern California.

[111] as a former hometown to a couple Nassau victims there is no short of weird oh okay Nassau asshole such as a mannequin dressed as Hannibal Lecter poised at the end of a very dimly lit dead end street which is displayed year round that's not seasonal what there's always a mannequin of Hannibal Lecter at the end of the street just leave your Christmas lights up which is worse While I was on training, long before I was accustomed to the bizarre occurrences that seemed to occur daily, I was on patrol when I saw an elderly woman screaming and running out to the roadway.

[112] The woman, who was all of four and a half feet tall, ran up to me, screaming in a language that I could not understand.

[113] Her daughter ran out of the house and apologized profusely.

[114] She said her mother was suffering from dementia and was confused.

[115] Her mother became an even more enraged and grasping my arm.

[116] As the tiny woman held my arm, she yelled, Her daughter translated, She's cursing you.

[117] And she giggled awkwardly.

[118] I assumed that she meant cursing at me. Until two weeks later, I was in the emergency room with inexplicable swelling to the same arm that tiny, angry woman had been clutching.

[119] Oh, no. Yes.

[120] Several nurses and doctors examined, x -rayed, and poked at my arm, but could find no reasonable explanation as to why my arm was swelling to twice its size.

[121] And sadly, workers' compensation does not cover witchcraft.

[122] I asked.

[123] It was nearly two years later when I had my second encounter with a person of the witchy persuasion.

[124] I was conducting a coroner's case of an elderly woman who, prior to her demise, was an end -of -life caretaker.

[125] She had amassed an entire family of loved ones left behind by those she cared for, and was, by all accounts, a gem of a human being.

[126] While looking through the house, I found loads of homeopathic remedies and a book about white witchcraft.

[127] I assumed she was an extremely curious retiree.

[128] Wrong.

[129] As I made my way through the residence, I turned the corner and found myself standing in front of a black altar adorned with figurines, dollar bills, and burned photos.

[130] The walls and ceiling around the altar were painted in in inky black.

[131] After my first encounter with the wacky world of witchcraft, I put on my gloves and back the fuck out of, the room.

[132] And then in parentheses, as if latex glove protected against woo -woo.

[133] No. I asked her family if she's if she was a brouha, her broken -hearted adopted daughter smiled and said, yes, we don't go in that room.

[134] They don't say that beforehand.

[135] Yeah.

[136] It's like the cat box room at my house.

[137] I just stay away.

[138] Just don't go in there.

[139] Just don't go in there.

[140] It's none of your business, really.

[141] She told me about the trips to store for ritualistic chicken feet and how she would burn photos of her granddaughter's boyfriends whom she did not trust all right okay after learning more about her life and her practice I'm sure she was a benevolent brouha but I kept my gloves on the entire time stay sexy and remember that workman's comp does not cover witchcraft related injuries no name sweet that's a good one sweet that was a good one.

[142] That was nice.

[143] How about this?

[144] Hello, ladies, gentlemen, and furry friends.

[145] Okay.

[146] I mean, look, you gotta do what you got to do at the beginning of these emails.

[147] Whatever it takes.

[148] I thought you might be interested in this story because it takes place in mine and Georgia's hometown of Irvine, California.

[149] They like it.

[150] Okay, I'm on board.

[151] I mean, I'm not moving back, but constantly rated one of America's safest cities.

[152] A few years back, a new family boomed to our neighborhood, a mom, dad, and their young adult son.

[153] I started feeling like the new neighbor's son was watching me, and I was pretty sure he had followed me while walking my dog and taking our daughter to the local park multiple times.

[154] Yep.

[155] Additionally, I started suspecting that he was walking by my house unnecessarily, and it started parking his car so that he could see into our house.

[156] Look, love is a strong emotion.

[157] Oh, no, you keep reading, I'll talk after.

[158] Okay.

[159] I told my husband my fears, and it erupted into, literally the biggest fight of our now 15 -year relationship.

[160] Uh -oh.

[161] Because he said that I was making this up in my head because I read too much true crime and that I was concerned.

[162] Uh -oh, uh -oh.

[163] And was concerned because someone was just walking around the neighborhood.

[164] He's just walking around the neighborhood.

[165] I feel like this guy's going to get his come up and it's at the end of this email.

[166] I think so, too.

[167] I have a good feeling.

[168] I ended up calling the cops the day after this fight because I thought that he followed me home from a park once again, and the cops said that they really couldn't do anything because he was just walking around.

[169] A week later, the Irvine Police Department called me back and wanted to talk to me about the report I had made the week prior.

[170] Apparently, this gentleman had broken into a house near mine while everyone was in the house and sleeping and climbed on top of a 21 -year -old girl.

[171] She woke up and screamed and her male roommate ran into the room and startled, the assailant jumped and ran out the back door.

[172] The cops caught him later that night.

[173] I had to testify at the trial and found out that this.

[174] girl had also felt like he was watching her for days.

[175] She looked almost exactly like me. At one point, I got to read some of his testimony, and he admitted that he had been following me and that I had a big black dog that barked at him.

[176] In court, baby.

[177] I'm sorry, but that is the, like, what did I fucking tell you?

[178] Um, let's, you know what, sorry, will you read that back, please?

[179] I don't think he heard it.

[180] Always trust your gut and lock your doors, even in the safest city in the US.

[181] No, no name.

[182] Amazing.

[183] A real comeuppance.

[184] I mean, the idea of someone telling me that I'm overreacted.

[185] I mean, ever.

[186] Yes.

[187] No, sorry.

[188] Okay.

[189] Especially in the height of an overreaction.

[190] That's the worst time to do it.

[191] Not mid -scream.

[192] Okay.

[193] Where are you at?

[194] I'm all right.

[195] Okay.

[196] I'll just read this.

[197] It just starts like this.

[198] Karen, Georgia, Stephen, Elvis, Mimi, Dottie, Frank, and George.

[199] Vince should get a shout out too.

[200] And as well, he should.

[201] Yes.

[202] A few weeks ago, my boyfriend, family, and I were out to lunch, and my mom and I were talking about what her life was like growing up in Southern California, given she lived there from 1956 to 1981, aka when all the shit was happening.

[203] She very casually mentioned how she discovered she had a broken back while riding horses.

[204] Ouch.

[205] It turns out, she fucking rode horses and took riding lessons from one of the Manson family members at the Spawn Ranch.

[206] What?

[207] Oh my God.

[208] Now, honey, I've signed you up for horse riding lessons, but it's a bit out in the desert and you have to take this tab of acid first.

[209] I don't know why.

[210] I don't know why.

[211] Just do it.

[212] That was my character, The Mother.

[213] That was a good one.

[214] Thank you.

[215] A year and a half of acting lessons at Sack State University.

[216] One of the greats.

[217] One of the great kids.

[218] My grandma took her there once and got the fucking hebe -jeebies and told my mom they were never going back.

[219] Nice.

[220] Okay, that's good.

[221] As I was trying to pick up my jaw, wanting to ask all the questions, she then proceeded to tell me the Hillside Strangler was also active in one of the neighborhoods she lived in, and then parentheses, seriously, how the fuck is she alive?

[222] In 1981, my parents moved from L .A. to Bend, Oregon, which also happened to be not so...

[223] Okay.

[224] which also happened to be not so far away from a little town called Antelope where the Rajneesh had moved and all the people are freaking the fuck out.

[225] Oh shit.

[226] It's the greatest hits.

[227] My mom shared with me that there was a time my grandma was visiting and they wanted to go to the high desert museum, which was the only museum in Bend.

[228] My grandma decided to wear a maroon blouse purple pants.

[229] Oh, no. Oh, no. And when they got to the museum, Oh, no. The Rajnees was also there.

[230] My mom in a panic and concerned my grandma was going to get mistaken for being part of a sex cult left before she could ever explain anything to my grandma.

[231] My boyfriend usually never has anything to contribute when my mom and I get into our talks, but as we were talking about the Rajneesh, my boyfriend turned to us and said, my dad interviewed my aunt Sheila at the compound.

[232] What?

[233] My mom's eyes almost burst out of her head, and she screamed, Tell me everything!

[234] At this point in the conversation, all I could do was laugh.

[235] My mom is the one who I share a true crime passion with, so it's not uncommon for us to start talking about this shit when we're together.

[236] She's no G. Murderino.

[237] My boyfriend's dad was a radio news reporter, and while the Rajneesh was active, he would go to the compound to conduct interviews for radio segments.

[238] He still had several tapes that have never been heard or were used by the news station when he was talking with Sheila.

[239] He also still has the welcome gifts that they would give to those who came to visit.

[240] Once we open one, and I'll let you know what's inside.

[241] Oh, once we've opened one.

[242] I thought she was just intentionally fucking with us in this email.

[243] I was about to rip it in half.

[244] Thanks for all you do for empowering women, for being honest and open about your own mental health struggles, and how it's okay to not be okay.

[245] Yay!

[246] It's really okay.

[247] It's okay.

[248] It's more than okay.

[249] It's pretty standard, actually.

[250] It's a must for this crowd.

[251] It's a must do for America.

[252] Because of you, I establish a relationship with a therapist, am conquering my anxiety.

[253] You ladies always make me laugh every episode and make my commute so much more enjoyable.

[254] Stay sexy and be sure to properly vet equestrian teachers and don't get murdered with gratitude, Laura.

[255] That was great.

[256] Man, they really ruined maroon calf tans, didn't they?

[257] I can't wear my maroon shirt with my purple pants anywhere in Antelope.

[258] Without seeming like I'm an occult.

[259] Or looking like a human bruise.

[260] Come on, Grandma.

[261] Okay, this one's last, and then this one's second.

[262] And then, okay, here we go.

[263] About 10 years ago, when living in Portland, Oregon, was still affordable.

[264] When it was still affordable, my ex -husband, Ian and I rented a wee, rickety house with a giant leafy backyard.

[265] on an unincorporated road.

[266] All the neighbors were students and or criminals.

[267] Or both.

[268] Chickens ran amok, and several busted cars and trailers were waylaid in the dirt road, riddled with vines and moss.

[269] It was a great neighborhood.

[270] Ian and I were relaxing one night with beers in our big, overgrown backyard, and our wild -eyed, severely drunken, aborist, aborist.

[271] Arborist.

[272] I knew I was going to get it wrong.

[273] Arborist.

[274] Thank you.

[275] Arborist.

[276] amazing subgroup of MFM Arborists.

[277] His name is Bradwin.

[278] Arborinos.

[279] Oh my God, are you being serious?

[280] Oh, my God, front row and everything?

[281] Fucking Arborinos in the front row, ladies and gentlemen.

[282] Arborists coming together.

[283] Trees and murder.

[284] Trees and murder.

[285] Fuck yes.

[286] What a diverse community.

[287] Okay, his name was Bradwin.

[288] Arborino.

[289] Sorry.

[290] It sounds like someone who's really into Arbys.

[291] Or Arbor Mist.

[292] Oh, yeah.

[293] Mixed together.

[294] Yeah.

[295] We're back.

[296] So, their neighbor, they're a severely drunken, arborist neighbor, Bradwin, crashed through our back gate and yelled, do you guys have any drinks?

[297] Is it me in 1991?

[298] Hey, listen.

[299] Do you have extra beer here?

[300] Drunk Karen, the drunk 90s, Karen, our favorite parent.

[301] Yes.

[302] Yay.

[303] We handed him a beer, because that's what you do, I guess.

[304] And he proceeded to regale us with the stories of cutting trees for other crazy people.

[305] Before he told his best story, he lurched out into the end of the yard under a giant Douglas fir and took a whiz.

[306] He came back and said, Man, I've been pissing blood because of this massive kidney stone My ex and I eyeballed each other knowing that Bradwin had just pissed blood under a beautiful pine tree This doesn't have anything to do with the story I just love this part How awful, it's like nature And here's Bradwin This reminds me of when I drink too much coffee in the morning and I start writing emails And I'm just like, it starts about one thing And then I'm like, you know what else I hate?

[307] Just like, do we need to know about Bradwin's kidney stone.

[308] We do.

[309] Okay, okay.

[310] No, we don't.

[311] Full trust.

[312] We don't.

[313] Okay.

[314] We started getting up to go inside, but Bradwin proceeded to tell us his claim to fame, arborist story.

[315] Living in California, years back, he had been hired by a prominent lawyer whose name he did not mention.

[316] Bradwin was up in a big tree, cutting branches, and the lawyer was hanging out on the ground below him, enjoying a cocktail, and regaling him with his crazy lawyer's stories.

[317] As Bradwin was chopping away, the lawyer's daughter came outside.

[318] She was about eight years old, and she interrupted their conversation saying, Daddy, there's a phone call for you.

[319] The lawyer said, honey, please don't interrupt.

[320] You can see I'm busy.

[321] Great parenting.

[322] Talking to the arborist.

[323] He started talking to Bradwin again, and the daughter became impatient.

[324] Daddy, the phone is for you.

[325] He said again, sweetie, I told you that interrupting is wrong.

[326] Now go inside and take a message.

[327] Then the little eight -year -old girl yelled, fuck you, Daddy, it's Bobby Shapiro.

[328] The dude went running into the house to take the call.

[329] apparently this lawyer was on OJ's defense team and Robert Shapiro was on the horn.

[330] My ex and I laughed her asses off and Bradwin gave Bradwin another beer.

[331] It was an entertaining night.

[332] Say sexy and don't let your drunken, arborist neighbor piss blood in your backyard, but do let him fill you in on his OJ connections, Jessica.

[333] Yeah.

[334] Fuck you, Daddy.

[335] It's Bobby Shapiro.

[336] What is that family like?

[337] That's amazing.

[338] Where is that little girl now?

[339] You can't interrupt, but if it's an emergency, say fuck you to me. These are the rules of the house.

[340] That's a lawyer's daughter, I'm sure.

[341] For real.

[342] Use your words, please.

[343] Oh, fuck me. Oh, Bobby Shapiro.

[344] All right.

[345] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[346] Absolutely.

[347] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[348] Exactly.

[349] And if you're a small business.

[350] owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[351] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

[352] That's right.

[353] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in -store, on social media, and beyond.

[354] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[355] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in -person.

[356] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[357] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[358] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.

[359] Connect with customers inline and online.

[360] Do retail right with Shopify.

[361] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[362] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[363] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[364] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[365] Goodbye.

[366] I, Georgia, what if I told you we could be transported to the 1920s to solve a murder?

[367] I'd say, my entire life and wardrobe have led me to this point.

[368] If you want to escape to a bygone age of mystery, danger, and romance, then check out June's Journey, the Hidden Object mystery game that tests your detective skills.

[369] June's Journey is a mobile mystery game that follows June Parker and New York Socialite living in London.

[370] As June Parker, you'll investigate beautifully detailed scenes of the 1920s while uncovering the mystery of her sister's.

[371] murder.

[372] There are twists, turns, and catchy tunes, all leading you deeper into the thrilling storyline.

[373] And if you play well enough, you could make it to the detective club where you can chat with other players and either team up with them or compete against them.

[374] June needs your help, but watch out you never know which character might be a villain.

[375] Find out as you escape this world and dive into June's world of mystery, murder, and romance.

[376] Can you crack the case?

[377] Download June's Journey for free today on iOS and Android.

[378] Discover your inner detective when you download June's Journey for free today on iOS and Android.

[379] That's June's Journey.

[380] Download the game for free on iOS and Android.

[381] Goodbye.

[382] I won't read the subject line.

[383] It's a spoiler.

[384] No. Hi to all my heartbeats, furry and not.

[385] That's creative.

[386] It's poetic.

[387] It's a little creepy.

[388] It's all very creepy.

[389] I mean, what are we fucking doing?

[390] Right?

[391] I could not be first.

[392] from your target audience.

[393] I'm a single man, 52 years old.

[394] I also happen to live by myself in the forest.

[395] Oh my God.

[396] Please, please come and pick me up right now.

[397] I am begging you.

[398] The fucking brawny man is writing to us right now.

[399] Oh, God.

[400] My home is four...

[401] Oh, in California's Calaveras County.

[402] My home is four miles.

[403] My home is four miles as the crow flies are from the site of Leonard Lake Charles Inns torture and murder bunker.

[404] Those dicks.

[405] I don't know if you've done this story, but it's a bizarre one.

[406] We haven't because it sucks, the worst.

[407] If they just yelled, yes, you have.

[408] I'd be like, super sorry, we have done that one.

[409] I'm a Bay Area native.

[410] Born in the city.

[411] Born in the city during the summer of love, raised in the city.

[412] the East Bay, an unacorporated portion of Contra Costa County, called Tara Hills.

[413] Sure.

[414] When I was six or, someone yell, fuck you.

[415] Well, fuck you, Daddy.

[416] It is on.

[417] I love that you hate when they yell, I love you, but if they yell, fuck you.

[418] I love it.

[419] Please learn what I'm about.

[420] Thank you.

[421] When I, okay.

[422] When I was six or seven years old, I had established myself within.

[423] my large cousin group as a fearless child.

[424] As this is the mid -70s, I can best liken myself to Tanner from the Bad News Bears, including his varied and colorful use of language.

[425] It was this act of fearlessness that led to one of the most shocking, fear -filled memories that has scorched into my psyche for life.

[426] He typed dramatically in the forest.

[427] His bald head gleaning, his brawny head.

[428] His paper towel covered head gleaming and the sunlight.

[429] On what must have been Halloween in 1974 or 75, although I can't be certain, I found myself being led through the neighborhood by my large group of older cousins.

[430] After a long and successful tour of the neighborhood, I was informed that it was time to return home.

[431] Of course, I refused, loudly.

[432] I demanded to go to just one more house.

[433] Being both loud and lazy, I chose the house closest to the current position.

[434] It was a corner house.

[435] It was a house shrouded by darkness.

[436] A house with not one single bulb burning.

[437] this house appeared to be dead.

[438] Up the porch steps, my large, lazy ass went.

[439] My fat fingers found the doorbell and rang in rapid fire a dozen times or more.

[440] When that failed to get a response, my pudgy fist found the door and banged out a rude knock.

[441] On what would have been the fifth or sixth fistfall, the door disappeared.

[442] My pudgy fist never found the door again.

[443] In its place, we're now a set.

[444] of craggy legs, skinny enough to doubt their stability, holding up a pair of dingy blue boxer shorts.

[445] The instability of the legs was belied by the strength of the voice.

[446] Oh my God.

[447] Is this guy a poet?

[448] Kind of.

[449] That now boomed down upon me with what seemed like cartoon visible sound waves.

[450] Get off my porch, you little, young, lazy, and pudgy, though I was.

[451] These terms did not describe the grace, agility and speed I displayed as I see appeared back with my cousins.

[452] I arrived on the sidewalk just in time to hear the loudest door slam I have heard still to this day.

[453] It wasn't long after when we noticed a new family living in the corner house.

[454] Thankfully, Mr. Blue Boxers had moved away.

[455] What seemed like a very long time passed between my childhood trick -or -treat terror and the day that we saw that man again, Mr. Blue Boxers had gained weight when we saw him again on the evening news.

[456] The breaking story was that of the rape and mutilation of a young woman.

[457] Yep, Mr. Blue Boxers was, in fact, Larry Singleton.

[458] Oh, my God.

[459] He trick or treated at fucking Larry Singleton's house.

[460] He banged on the door until Larry Singleton answered the door.

[461] Guys.

[462] I've shared stories like this in the Zodiac, the Nightstalker, Trailside, Lake Eng, et cetera, with my daughter, who has literally been a murderito since birth.

[463] She grew up in Benicia, so the Zodiac happened in her backyard.

[464] Her natural inclination to true crime led my daughter the murderino I created to turn me into a murderino, despite my location at 180 degrees from a typical murderino and being alone in the forest.

[465] Stay sexy and don't get murdered, but maybe give the forest another chance.

[466] Not all.

[467] The arborists here are like, yeah.

[468] This is fucking, this night, we call night one of the weekend tree power night.

[469] And this is just the end of that.

[470] Not all who wander her beautiful canopy are serial killers.

[471] At least one of us is a murderer, no, sincerely Donnie.

[472] Yeah, yeah.

[473] All right, let's go to hometowns, guys.

[474] Let's do some hometown.

[475] Here's how it's going to go.

[476] Let's see.

[477] I pick people first.

[478] What's that?

[479] I pick people first.

[480] Yeah.

[481] Okay, look, can I have the lights up a little bit?

[482] Okay.

[483] A little bit of house lights.

[484] You're going to be going, oh, here's Vint.

[485] Ah.

[486] Okay, you're going to meet them right over there.

[487] There's rules to this whole thing.

[488] Yes, as you will know.

[489] Yeah.

[490] And this is an important thing, I think, for continuing on in this evening and through the weekend.

[491] You can pick one of two lanes.

[492] You can be fireball drunk, or you can come and tell your story.

[493] those two lanes will not intersect and if you jump up here and then you're in the fireball lane we love you, we'll hug you and you get pushed off stage that's just how it is because there's good stories to tell and they gotta get told but the bad ones no booing and no yelling it's scary at the yeah yeah don't yell at the other people you yell at us for your own reasons but no yelling at the lay people and we get to do this more than once so if you don't get picked tonight, don't worry, because you'll have another chance.

[494] Cool your fireballs.

[495] We'll start with Alyssa.

[496] Alyssa, be number one.

[497] Let's do, here, and then we'll do it after.

[498] Right here.

[499] Alyssa, everybody.

[500] Hi, Alyssa.

[501] This is Alyssa.

[502] Hi.

[503] Oh, here.

[504] O .G. Martyrino fan call.

[505] I love it.

[506] Yes.

[507] Hi.

[508] Hi.

[509] Is that awesome?

[510] I'm so excited.

[511] I'm Alyssa.

[512] I'm from Atlanta, Georgia.

[513] Oh.

[514] Thank you.

[515] We're traveling so far.

[516] It's my Heteral Lifemate Nikki's 40th birthday.

[517] Happy birthday.

[518] Happy birthday.

[519] Happy birthday.

[520] Happy birthday.

[521] This is our adventure.

[522] Great.

[523] I love it.

[524] So I am from Marietta, Georgia, which is a...

[525] Really?

[526] No, they're just doing that.

[527] You kind of power through it.

[528] Fair enough.

[529] It's a suburb about 20 miles north of Atlanta.

[530] We birthed Newt Gingrich, and I'm really, really sorry about that.

[531] Thank you.

[532] So in 2004, this guy, John Hutcherson, and his best friend, Frank, were at a bar, drinking, having a good time, and decided that they needed to drive home after being very intoxicated.

[533] And they were driving in his truck, and Frank at one point apparently got sick, and he was like feeling really bad, so he leaned out the window and they were driving down this very windy road which has, you know, power poles.

[534] I saw this movie.

[535] Wait, this is called hereditary road.

[536] Go ahead, go ahead.

[537] They may have gotten the idea from this.

[538] Yeah, yeah.

[539] So at some point, he's swerving and gets too close to one of the power lines.

[540] And Frank's head is off.

[541] You're right.

[542] Shit.

[543] And apparently he was so drunk that John didn't notice that this had happened.

[544] Drives home, parks the truck in his driveway, with his friend's body sitting in the pastoral thing.

[545] Goes upstairs, covered in blood, and passes out in his bed.

[546] What?

[547] So 8 a .m. the next morning, this is the neighborhood that I grew up in, too.

[548] Oh, my God and his little baby daughter are walking down the street and sees the truck with the body in it.

[549] He calls the cops.

[550] And they go upstairs and wake him up.

[551] And I were like, hey, what happened last night?

[552] And they had to go back to the place, the scene of the accident, to find his head.

[553] Oh, my God.

[554] So this was the neighborhood I grew up in.

[555] He is, his little sister is really good friends with my little sister.

[556] So this was big.

[557] So you know for a fact, this really happened and it wasn't an urban legend or anything like that.

[558] 100 % lived less than a mile from my house.

[559] Holy shit.

[560] That's so awful.

[561] So he went to prison.

[562] In prison, obviously, for manslaughter.

[563] But he's out now, and I checked Facebook, and he's, like, living life.

[564] Oh, my God.

[565] I don't know, though.

[566] I don't know how okay.

[567] I mean, I'm assuming nightmares are happening at some way.

[568] They got out of sound.

[569] That's the spooky Halloween story is what you just gave us right there.

[570] Holy shit.

[571] Well, we started off with a bang, everybody.

[572] Nice one.

[573] Marietta, Georgia, showing up in playing.

[574] I'm strong tonight.

[575] Everyone, this is Jamie.

[576] It's Jamie, everybody.

[577] And we forgot to mention, you can do your hometown from anywhere.

[578] It doesn't have to be from California.

[579] I'm from Texas, so I had to bring you guys.

[580] Oh, sorry.

[581] I'm from Texas.

[582] She brought us Bucky.

[583] Yeah.

[584] Oh, shit.

[585] Thank you.

[586] Thank you so.

[587] Hell yeah.

[588] They're Bieber Nuggets, but for some reason I just keep calling them Bieber balls.

[589] they are for dirty reasons okay okay okay so um my uh my uh my tickets okay okay okay my sister is a she's kind of a badass she's um uh she's a swat team member she's a detective but she's also on the swat team nice first female on her force wow so she told me what's her name her name's Andrea okay yeah way to go Andrea good job she's really cool um and she's a little old like me And during the holidays, like for Christmas, does she come and, like, kick the door open and then get down?

[590] Does she crawl, belly crawl through the backyard type of stuff?

[591] Sort of.

[592] Oh.

[593] Want to party with her?

[594] Okay.

[595] Yeah.

[596] So, she didn't work on this case, but she told me about this case, but it's actually kind of famous.

[597] So this is the Louisville Chainsaw Massacre.

[598] Mm -mm.

[599] So this was 2010 in Louisville, Texas, which is right outside of Dallas.

[600] and um yay sexist um so this man um his name was Jose Coronado um had he's a father of six um and happily married uh just a nice family man and um he suddenly had a strange period where people were saying like oh he might be having a little bit of a nervous breakdown but um he was actually starting to get into Santa Ria, and he had some suspicions that his wife was cheating on him.

[601] So I, and I'm not, you know, I don't know much about this religion or anything, but from what I understand, part of that religious experience is that if there is a demon, the way to get rid of the demon is to cut off the demon's head.

[602] So he discovered that his wife...

[603] That's foreshadowing that everybody, just so now.

[604] So he suspected that his wife was cheating on him.

[605] So he somehow got all of his children to go to a restaurant, and this was like a Sunday afternoon, like 11, got his family to go to a restaurant, convinced his wife to come home with him where he had this all planned out.

[606] I'm not quite sure of the logistics of this, but he had chainsaws that he duct taped one to each hand.

[607] No, no. And then he chased her through the house with the chainsaws running.

[608] Sorry, how did he chainsaw?

[609] Ductape the second chainsaw.

[610] I'm just saying.

[611] Did he have an assistant?

[612] Was the devil with him at that time?

[613] Like, did he have a machine?

[614] He was a wizard.

[615] Okay.

[616] So he ductaped the chainsaws to his hands.

[617] I don't like this at all.

[618] There's not a lot to like about this.

[619] What my sister was able to tell me that an inside scoop was that, well, she didn't run away from him very fast because he was able to cut her multiple times throughout the house.

[620] Oh, so it's on her?

[621] Come on, Andrea.

[622] What the fuck?

[623] Just kidding.

[624] It's funny to turn on Andrea, the swap.

[625] No, there was a trail of evidence of bits of the wife.

[626] This is the kind of story you don't want the inside scoop on, you know what I mean?

[627] Yeah, really.

[628] Or that phrase used.

[629] So, yes.

[630] So there were, yeah, so she makes it basically to the front door where he starts to dismember her in the house.

[631] And I think at this point she was dead, but then he dragged her out onto the front lawn.

[632] So this is broad daylight and then decapitates her on the front lawn.

[633] and very calm or no actually it was in the street so he dragged her through the front lawn onto the street, decapitates her somehow removes his little arm situation puts that on his the bed of his pickup truck and then just calmly drives away in the family's other car so the person who found this was the mailman who was the first to come up on the scene and sees something in the road and is like, mm -hmm, what's that?

[634] And then he realizes it's ahead.

[635] And then when the police arrived that one of the chainsaws was still running in the back of this truck.

[636] Yeah, I don't like this.

[637] Oh, but the best part is that, so he drives to, oh, no, I don't mean the best part.

[638] No, we get it.

[639] If anyone gets it, we get it.

[640] Yeah.

[641] He drives to a car dealership where he deposits, I don't know why I'm looking at you so much, you're also here.

[642] No, go, it's okay.

[643] I don't need it, hurtful.

[644] He deposits, I like you, but he deposits the car and just, I guess, test drives, another car, and then drives that to Mexico, where he's free.

[645] Wait, to this day?

[646] Yes.

[647] Oh.

[648] Sorry.

[649] Until tonight's spotlight.

[650] Oh, no. Is it Jamie at Texas.

[651] That was, thank you.

[652] Thank you very much for that awful story and wonderful delicious treats.

[653] Okay, Georgia, just can we take a moment?

[654] A pause to say Georgia randomly chose two beheading stories.

[655] How?

[656] Who's doing this?

[657] No. We're not getting a third.

[658] Oh, great.

[659] Hi.

[660] Lauren.

[661] Okay, Lauren.

[662] It's Lauren, everybody.

[663] Say hi.

[664] Lauren, where are you from?

[665] I'm from San Clemente, California.

[666] All right.

[667] So, okay, so I grew up in San Clemente, California.

[668] My friend who's in the audience with me as well, and we knew a set of twins who their family did a mass suicide, if you will, a five -person suicide.

[669] So the twins, they were 21.

[670] we went to high school with them.

[671] They dressed the same through high school.

[672] You know, they were recluse a little bit.

[673] And their family, all of a sudden, nobody heard from them.

[674] They lived in a gated community, rich family.

[675] And one day the family relative was like, where are they?

[676] We don't know.

[677] And nobody was like, we don't know what's going on.

[678] And three weeks later, somebody was like, It kind of smells.

[679] Oh, no. And so they go into the house, and it's a mass suicide, five -person suicide.

[680] But the twins are tucked in bed.

[681] Everybody's in black.

[682] The twins are tucked in the bed, and they were poisoned with Vicodin.

[683] And the grandma also poisoned with Vicodin.

[684] And then the mom and the dad, the dad, was shot and the mom shot herself in shot herself so she committed suicide so she was like the mastermind of it wow wow and nobody to this day knows like why they did it they it's like they never interviewed any friends or family like it was just kind of like that's what happened so so that's what happened yeah it's really weird it's really weird you're right It's terrible.

[685] It seems like there's a deeper meaning there, but like nobody cared to investigate it?

[686] Yeah.

[687] I don't know.

[688] Orange County, they're just like, whatever, sweeping under the road.

[689] Yeah, exactly.

[690] So that's nice.

[691] Good job.

[692] Lauren, everybody.

[693] Give it up for Lauren.

[694] Oh, my God.

[695] You guys, tomorrow night, we're going to do some more.

[696] Everyone's going to have their head on, though, the whole time.

[697] I feel like that should be.

[698] We're going to do a note decapitation.

[699] We've covered all the capitation story.

[700] That's right.

[701] Well, that was a really strong kickoff of awful shit.

[702] Just terrible, terrible stories.

[703] We hope you guys can sleep okay tonight.

[704] Don't have hangovers tomorrow.

[705] We'll see you tomorrow.

[706] Oh, yeah, we'll see you at the brunch tomorrow.

[707] We're going to do a real show tomorrow.

[708] It's going to be a lot of fun stuff.

[709] Yeah, we're so excited.

[710] Thank you again for coming here, playing along, being our friends.

[711] We're so excited to see you, and we will see you tomorrow.

[712] Bye, you guys.

[713] Thank you.