MFM Minisode 218

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Welcome to my favorite murder, the mini -sowed.

[2] The mini -mimi -sowed.

[3] It's tiny and Mimi's here.

[4] She's an abusive to the dog, to the puppy.

[5] That's her job.

[6] And that's her job as a big sister.

[7] She's the queen cat and she got to slap some puppy teeth out of puppy's mouths.

[8] That was the craziest thing I've ever seen.

[9] Georgia sends me a picture, text me this picture and goes, look, Mimi just slapped this tooth out of cooking.

[10] mouth and it's her palm and the tiniest baby puppy tooth.

[11] I want to say in Rift Defense of Mimi that puppy teeth fall out.

[12] She's at that time.

[13] So it's almost like the big sister who tied the string around the puppies.

[14] You know what I mean?

[15] But it is aggressive.

[16] With her paw.

[17] With her paw slapping.

[18] Yeah, except uppercut.

[19] And now Cookie won't come close.

[20] She barks at herself, but she knows to keep her distance.

[21] Yeah.

[22] You've got to get that three foot radius around Mimi.

[23] I think We all know that.

[24] Everyone knows that.

[25] That's how it is with that cat.

[26] Are you ready to read some e -mails?

[27] Let's do it.

[28] You want to go first this time?

[29] Let's do it.

[30] Okay, yeah, let's kick right off with the subject line.

[31] Flower is flammable, Karen.

[32] Hi, MFM crew.

[33] Sorry, Karen, but flower is not something you should put on a grease fire.

[34] What if that's all the hometowns from now on is just about how wrong we were.

[35] Well, that's fine.

[36] I was wrong.

[37] Jim was wrong.

[38] I was wrong.

[39] You actually, Georgie, but you went, are you sure?

[40] Like, you did have a pause about it.

[41] Thank you.

[42] So who cares?

[43] But I'm a follower.

[44] So I was like, you must be right.

[45] Well, and also, you know, with the background of someone who is supposed to have 30 plus years, 30 plus years experience.

[46] I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

[47] Yeah.

[48] I gave Jim the benefit of the doubt.

[49] We always a mistake.

[50] We all do.

[51] Okay.

[52] But this is, it's worth it to get this email.

[53] Okay, so it says, Hi, MFM crew.

[54] Sorry, Karen, but flowers, not something you should use to put out a grease fire.

[55] It's super flammable and once blew up an entire mill in Minnesota.

[56] Hold on.

[57] Does she go on to tell the story?

[58] Because I have a, I have one, too.

[59] Is this the same one?

[60] I mean, you go and then I'll go.

[61] It's not the same one.

[62] It's a totally different email about the exact same thing.

[63] No, but I mean, in the same state?

[64] I think so.

[65] Okay.

[66] Tell me about it.

[67] Let's find out.

[68] Okay.

[69] On May 2nd, 1878, the Washburn A -mill exploded in a ball of fire around 7 p .m. The explosion triggered a few others, and not only was the Washburn A -mill destroyed, but a few, but several others in the waterfront area.

[70] 14 men working the night shift at Washburn were killed in the city of Minneapolis's burgeoning flower industry, which had just overtaken Buffalo and St. Louis as the leading flower producer had been reduced to a third.

[71] of its capacity.

[72] Wow.

[73] It took firefighters all night to put out the flames and speculation began immediately that it was caused by an earthquake or a trainload of nitroglycerin or even bad gas from the Mississippi River that sparked the blast.

[74] The manager of the washburn mill claimed it was caused by flour.

[75] Two millstones that had become too dry rubbed against one another and created a spark.

[76] The ever -present clouds of flower dust in the mill went boom instantly and decimated the area.

[77] The manager's claim was later proven by two University of Minnesota professors S .F. Peckham and Lewis W. Peck.

[78] That's funny.

[79] Very similar last name.

[80] They are.

[81] They are.

[82] The mill's owner promised to rebuild and was as good or better than his word.

[83] He rebuilt the mill in about five years with several safety innovations and greater capacity.

[84] The mill is now a museum.

[85] I've never been.

[86] I'm from Massachusetts.

[87] It's not Minnesota.

[88] But I had to write this in after did it today's episode where even home gym thought flour might put out a grease fire that shit can take down nearly a whole city so please use baking soda sorry for the long -witted corrections email you guys are great and i love you all one of these days i'll send you my six degrees of separation hometown story i've been sitting on that for months but showing off my knowledge of flowers explosive powers got me writing within an hour of listening even though i'm at work with tons to do stay sexy and don't explode in a cloud of flower gene.

[89] That was great.

[90] Mine's different, which is funny that Lily pulled, Lily was able to pull two different stories.

[91] Let's do.

[92] I love that.

[93] We have, we have, what do you call that?

[94] Battling, battling explosive flower stories.

[95] God, that's crazy, though.

[96] Like, who knew?

[97] I mean, firefighters, except for Jim and a lot of civilians.

[98] He's been retired for a while.

[99] He doesn't really care.

[100] He's the one that in the, um 1989 uh san francisco earthquake we were like daddy you gonna go in and he was like no i'm not on the i'm not on the on schedule it's like i don't want going in until they call me america zero everyone america's hero um all right okay here's here's mine yeah hello fire starters listening to you both discuss whether you can throw flower to put out a grease fire triggered a teenage memory of a damp, dark field trip to an industrial plant that made bricks.

[101] As fun as watching furnaces and slag is, the best part was when one of the workers, encouraged by 13 -year -old boys, exploded stuff for us.

[102] Health and safety sat differently in the 90s.

[103] He also told us the story of a woman who blew up her flat whilst making a cake.

[104] She dropped a bag of flour in her small kitchen.

[105] Okay, so this is totally different.

[106] I was wrong.

[107] The concentration of the flower in the air was the right density to catch fire from the stove flame that was already lit.

[108] It turns out most things can explode if at the right concentrate in the air.

[109] According to stuff you should know, other podcasts are available.

[110] Flower and many other carbohydrates become explosive when they are hanging in the air dust.

[111] So don't drop.

[112] It's crazy.

[113] You can YouTube flower explosions if you want to see.

[114] in action.

[115] Of course, I decided to Google flower explosions, so here we go, and found the 1979 Roland Mill disaster where 14 people died and 17 people were injured.

[116] According to Wikipedia, other poorly researched information sites are available.

[117] It was the largest peacetime explosion to date.

[118] A cable fire led to dust explosions, which triggered the flower silo to set on fire.

[119] The roof of the silo was blown off and the walls collapsed tearing the whole building apart flower dust rained down across an area of 30 hectares and the fire burned for over a month oh my god so the moral of the story is if you're making a cake remember a moment on the lips a building may be ripped this person is clever yes i have emailed you my college murder twice before but even i have enough self -respect not to send it a third time love kate kate you're clever kate send it a third time do what is pride in quarantine yeah in hometown in hometowns there is no pride send it and put in the in the thing in the subject lily this is the kate but lily they now everyone's going to do i know sorry lily uh i mean look this is this is the best way this is the way i like to learn yeah this is why this is why i like our podcast this is why I like podcasts, like our podcast.

[120] This is the way to learn by going, wait, sorry, this is, not only is this, was I wrong in giving this example, but here's how bad it could be.

[121] Here's exactly how in real life the second happened.

[122] Horrifying.

[123] Let's change the United States school system to fucking give examples of crazy stories.

[124] Yes.

[125] You can tell me a fact, and that's fine in science class.

[126] Yeah.

[127] Back it up with an episode of.

[128] of stuff you should know.

[129] Anything that explodes, we'll learn about and we'll retain it.

[130] I'm sure they were exploding stuff and I still could not be bothered.

[131] I think you shouldn't go to high school until you're 24.

[132] Okay.

[133] This says hometown and family connections.

[134] This is a little bit long, but I think it's worth it.

[135] Hello, Lovelies.

[136] I'm from a small rural town in southern Wisconsin and grew up in one of the two local funeral homes.

[137] My grandfather was actually the OG director in his small town near Green Bay.

[138] Of his four children, one became a minister and the other three went into the family business.

[139] He had four locations that were split between brothers and my parents started their own business in another town.

[140] For them growing up in a funeral home through the 60s and 70s is exactly what you'd imagine.

[141] The funeral director was the only person that had a vehicle to accommodate a gurney so he ran the ambulance service.

[142] And my mom has stories of cleaning that out as a child after emergencies that would make your stomach turn.

[143] Hey, honey, go out in the, and then do your homework.

[144] Grab that hose.

[145] Are you done with your homework?

[146] Grab the hose.

[147] There really isn't enough time in the day to tell you all of her or my stories, but I'll try to hit some fun highlights.

[148] My grandmother was from Almond, Wisconsin, which is right next to Plainfield.

[149] If that sounds familiar, it's because that's where Ed Gainlett.

[150] my grandparents had stories about how he would give out canned meat during the holidays and my grandpa actually gave him a ride one time while he was walking down a long country road oh my god we hear Ted Bundy stories like close calls or whatever this is fucking again yeah yeah because that someone has tapped to their grandparents for stories totally which is that's it's like a vintage yeah version my grandpa said he was a creepy guy.

[151] Go figure.

[152] I have a bunch of paranormal stories ranging from radio wars with spirits in the embalming room, lazy TV watching spirits, and spirits playing the piano in the chapel to a fully white slash translucent young woman's spirit and I coming upon each other among the casket displays only to both be startled and run in the opposite directions.

[153] Oh my.

[154] This is the others.

[155] That is like she doesn't.

[156] She doesn't realize she's dead she thinks she sees a spirit yeah and she might not be who the fuck knows what we don't know why we don't know we don't know what side of the curtain we're on that's right uh however i've been binging your podcast to see if you've covered my hometown murder and though i'm not all the way through i've yet to hear it this murder occurred in 1994 in jefferson wisconsin high school teacher aide diane borschart convinced three of her male students to kill her husband, Rubin.

[157] They were in the beginning of a divorce, this having been both their second marriages.

[158] I don't know how she convinced them exactly, but she took his and her children to his parents' house for an overnight visit, and that's when the boys broke into the home and shot Ruben.

[159] It didn't take long for one of them to crack and come clean to the police.

[160] The three boys and Diane were all sentenced to varying terms in prison.

[161] My parents did Rubin's funeral, and my mom remembers it being pretty crazy.

[162] She said there were undercover cops all around because they suspected Diane of being involved and wanted to keep a close eye on her behavior.

[163] The Lifetime movie about this murder was called Seduced by Madness, the Diane Borshart story.

[164] Definitely remember that.

[165] Right?

[166] And they wanted to film at the funeral home, but my parents wouldn't go for it.

[167] They did sign something to allow them to use the red brick building exterior in the movie, though.

[168] There's also a snapped episode detailing this murder Season 18, Episode 11.

[169] One of the boys had actually been our paper boy at the funeral home and he would come in to steal candy from the dish on the banister.

[170] Having had enough, my dad waited around the stairs to catch him.

[171] I'm pretty sure he scared the absolute shit out of the kid because he never came back.

[172] Jumping out and grabbing someone in a funeral home is a great way to end some dickery.

[173] My siblings and I went through a lot of babysitters that way.

[174] Actually.

[175] Oops.

[176] Shrug.

[177] I love the quote Quote, quote, they say you die twice, one time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.

[178] You ladies are giving victims life beyond their tragedy, and that's pretty cool.

[179] SSDGM, Elise Jacobs.

[180] Wow.

[181] Thanks, Elise Jacobs.

[182] That was twists and turns.

[183] And that was crazy.

[184] Yeah, I know, right?

[185] And what a, for a second when Elise first started describing that murder, I was thinking of that Nicole Kidman movie.

[186] Yes.

[187] Because it's very similar.

[188] That idea of like hiring teen, of like black widow murderer women who hire teen boys to do the dirty work for them is a special place in hell.

[189] You're ruining the rest of, even if they don't get caught.

[190] Like you're ruining their lives.

[191] lives and everyone knows fucking teenage boys can't keep secrets also they just it's they're susceptible it's like that idea it's it's why all of that is like fucking leave children and teens alone they don't know what the hell they're doing and they want to be like macho and they think that they're tough and they watch the sopranos or whatever the fuck yes yes exactly that is egregious so georgia please leave teenagers alone i'm just i can't tell you again uh Geez, you're so judgmental, Karen.

[192] Sorry, sorry.

[193] I just am sick of it.

[194] Okay.

[195] Hi, people and pets.

[196] You're great.

[197] I'm obsessed.

[198] Blah, blah, blah.

[199] Let's get into it.

[200] Another solid.

[201] I moved to Manchester just over five years ago for university.

[202] And when I heard you that, heard that you love the city as much as I do, I decided that I needed to tell you my favorite with a you story from the city.

[203] It has everything.

[204] Yes.

[205] Hannah Beswick was born in 1688 to rich parents.

[206] So her life is pretty good for a woman at that time.

[207] That was until the day of her brother's funeral.

[208] As they were pulling down the lid of the coffin, all caps, one of his eyes opened.

[209] What?

[210] Yes, he was almost buried alive.

[211] Everything that I have read says that this quote broke Hannah and gave her a pathological fear of being buried alive, which is fucking fair in my opinion.

[212] Absolutely.

[213] completely not only not insane the sanest reaction you could have absolutely watching it happened to your almost happened to your brother then you're like now i'm afraid this is going to happen to me absolutely nothing wrong and then she says as if that were a weird reaction to her situation exactly wouldn't you be just a little shaken by that happening also being buried alive was pretty common back then as i found out from one of your episodes learning we're teaching people stuff that's right sometimes it's right sometimes it's right sometimes it's It's not.

[214] Don't put out a grease fire with flour.

[215] So to keep her from this fate, she added a line into her will that said she wished to remain above ground until a doctor was absolutely sure she was dead.

[216] Now, I read that as keep her above ground for a few days and keep an eye out on her.

[217] Her family doctor, Dr. Charles White, interpreted it as embalm her and display her mummified corpse.

[218] Oh.

[219] Which is what he did when she passed in 1758.

[220] Oh.

[221] After a short stint at her family.

[222] home, her embalbed body was given back to Dr. White, who put it on display in a grandfather clock.

[223] Reuse, recycle, reuse, repeat.

[224] Repulsive.

[225] I'm confused.

[226] Like, she, like, there's a clock up here and then down here, the embalmed woman, body of a dead woman?

[227] No, I think he turned a grandfather clock, like, horizontal.

[228] And you know how they have the little doors and they have the see -through glass.

[229] I'm just saying, is the clock part still active?

[230] Oh, I have no idea.

[231] Probably not.

[232] You're standing there staring at a really creepy thing, and then there's just the tick.

[233] And then you're like, oh, shit, I'm late for my appointment.

[234] And then gong, gong.

[235] I really hope not.

[236] Okay.

[237] Later, she was given to the Museum of Manchester Natural History Society, where she was named, quote, the Manchester Mummy.

[238] And she became one of their most popular attractions.

[239] In 1867, the museum decided that she was irrevocably and unmistakably dead.

[240] She was finally laid to rest in 1868, 110 years after her death.

[241] But the story isn't over.

[242] It said that before she died, Hannah buried some treasure to keep it safe from Scottish rebels in 1745, but she never told anyone where it was and it was lost.

[243] The story goes that long after she died, her ghost was seen multiple times.

[244] Geez, we have similar stories for each of these.

[245] I know.

[246] Her ghost was seen multiple times walking over to the same flagstone and disappearing.

[247] Someone who lived there pulled up that flagstone and found a massive stash of gold.

[248] Yes.

[249] Smart.

[250] He sold it and was given three pound tens, now 450 pounds, for each piece.

[251] Oh, I was so disappointed at that.

[252] Oh, that's amazing.

[253] Oh, it's good.

[254] So there you go, the story of the Manchester mummy.

[255] Sorry, it was so long.

[256] And thank you for getting me through my long shifts at work.

[257] I hope you come back to the UK as soon as this whole pandemic malarkey is done.

[258] We'd love to have you.

[259] Stay sexy and don't wait 110 years to pronounce someone dead, Jenny.

[260] God.

[261] That's a good one.

[262] It's almost like they were being sarcastic.

[263] Like, oh, okay, you want us to make sure.

[264] Okay, young lady.

[265] Fine.

[266] Oh, or maybe it was the coroner that accidentally almost buried the kid, her brother alive and he was like, well, fuck, I'm not at fall.

[267] You're at fall.

[268] Or he's, or he was like, you think you're stressed out about this.

[269] Now this is my number one fear.

[270] This is my reputation.

[271] He's like one more and I'm fired.

[272] That's what they said.

[273] Especially from the same family.

[274] Oh, God.

[275] I'm just picture it.

[276] You're out of funeral.

[277] No. A family member funeral crying.

[278] It's your brother.

[279] I was picturing him being young.

[280] Yeah.

[281] Yeah.

[282] Yes.

[283] And then one eye flies open.

[284] Can I tell you something?

[285] This happened to you?

[286] No, something similar.

[287] But I know, okay, I was at my ex's, my ex's grandma died, natural causes.

[288] We went to her funeral, of course, and they were whatever religion it is that you kneel in front of the casket.

[289] I think it was light, light Christian, some light Christian thing.

[290] Wait, what?

[291] I don't know.

[292] light, like fat -free?

[293] No, like not super hardcore.

[294] Like whatever Vince is or it was raised.

[295] Episcopalians.

[296] They're the lightest.

[297] That's right.

[298] Which is not to say they don't do great work and totally love the Lord.

[299] No, I'm all about the like, they're not like, oh, here's a bunch of horrible incense and we're going to shake a thing at you.

[300] Body of Christ and all.

[301] No, no, that's what I'm saying is like it was totally as Jew.

[302] I was like, all right, all right.

[303] So I go with him, of course, as support to Neil at her casket, open casket.

[304] And, like, we're leaning over her and she looks so serene.

[305] And there must, I know there's like gases and stuff in the body went as they.

[306] And I swear to God, we both froze because she went, oh, God, Georgia.

[307] That's so scary.

[308] We both sat there, like, wondering if the other one had heard it.

[309] full -on, full -body chills.

[310] I was like, he's not going to forget this about his poor grandma for the rest of his life.

[311] Did you have somebody check to make sure she wasn't so frustrated for being assumed dead?

[312] If she wasn't dead, she was when they fucking embalmed her or whatever.

[313] Bless her soul.

[314] I've been embalmed.

[315] The frustration of being embalmed.

[316] The hassle.

[317] Ugh.

[318] This again.

[319] Those stories, man, when they sit up in the morgue.

[320] And then the poor fucking coroner is like, ah, you know.

[321] Yes.

[322] Oh, God.

[323] Well, I've ancillary story, not similar, but.

[324] That's what this podcast is for.

[325] Right.

[326] One of my favorite family stories is when my grandma Ann died, the matriarch of my dad's side of the family and just a legendary, hilarious, badass, wonderful woman.

[327] It was so sad.

[328] And it was my grandpa died first.

[329] And so when she died, it was like, oh, they're both.

[330] It was really hard and sad for everybody.

[331] And, of course, my dad has eight brothers and sisters, gigantic family.

[332] And so my cousin, Danny and Chris, are the two youngest, were at the time, the two youngest cousins.

[333] They were like the baby of the family's babies.

[334] And so I think it was Danny.

[335] And I think he was about seven.

[336] And when he went up to look at the body, he, you know, he.

[337] You know, he did that by himself.

[338] His mom let him do it by himself.

[339] So later on, my Aunt Joe said, how did you feel about seeing grandma like that?

[340] And he goes, it was okay.

[341] But her hands were really hard to pull apart.

[342] How old was he seven?

[343] He was really little, like seven.

[344] And my aunt told us that story.

[345] And she was like laughing and crying at the same time.

[346] She was like, I tried not to realize.

[347] act like to his face.

[348] Oh my God.

[349] What was he doing?

[350] I'm just picturing you walking in on a seven -year -old ripping her hands apart.

[351] Obviously, like hold one last.

[352] Yeah.

[353] Just like, oh, does he get shit for that story every you weren't supposed to.

[354] I don't think.

[355] I think it was that kind of thing where we're all going.

[356] Oh, my God.

[357] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[358] Absolutely.

[359] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[360] Exactly.

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[375] That's shopify .com slash murder.

[376] Goodbye.

[377] I mean, can we end the episode now?

[378] Because that was epic.

[379] Well, you might want to, except for, it's my turn, isn't it?

[380] Because it's time for ball pit stranger danger and my mom.

[381] Yes.

[382] Don't let's not walk away from an opportunity to go into the ball pit.

[383] Right?

[384] Never ever.

[385] Speaking of how to use the ballpark?

[386] Pitt that I surprised sent you?

[387] I haven't used it yet.

[388] You got it.

[389] I haven't.

[390] That's got to be a very cult video as you diving in.

[391] Well, that's exactly why I haven't set it up because Georgia sent it to me and then immediately went, set it up and take a picture and post it and do this, do that.

[392] And then I was just like, this goes right into the closet.

[393] I'll do none of those things.

[394] All right.

[395] So this starts, Hey, team.

[396] Are we still doing ball pit stories?

[397] Yep.

[398] What about pretending to be kidnapped?

[399] Cool mom stories?

[400] Just whatever occurs to us?

[401] Great.

[402] This email is for you.

[403] When I was a little over two years old, 27 months, if you're a weirdo, my mom was maybe six months pregnant with my little sister.

[404] One day we were at Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party.

[405] She was hanging out with the other parents while I was off enjoying life, 1989, am I right?

[406] Suddenly, my mom hears my little voice calling for help.

[407] She jumps into action and follows the sound to the ball pit.

[408] She looks in just in time to see my little face sinking down beneath the plastic balls.

[409] or she likes to tell it, quote, all I could see was your face being obscured by balls, unquote.

[410] My mother and all of her pregnant glory had to jump into the ball pit to save my ass from drowning.

[411] Oh my gosh.

[412] Bless her.

[413] Cut to two months later, my mom is massively pregnant with my sister.

[414] And on our way to my grandmas, my mom decides to stop at the mall for one quick thing.

[415] Because I was generally a well -behaved child and because we only needed to go to one store, my mom thought it would be okay.

[416] not to use the stroller and to let me walk.

[417] Dear Reader, it was not okay.

[418] The moment we crossed the threshold, I took off.

[419] Running as fast as my little legs could carry me, I darted in and out of stores while my very pregnant mother chased after me. When she finally caught up with me, out of breath and nauseous, she scooped me back up to carry me back out to the car.

[420] I must have known I was in trouble because I just went limp in her arms and started to shout, help, help me, help.

[421] I don't know her.

[422] No!

[423] It's no to do.

[424] I've heard people say this before.

[425] Kids are such dicks.

[426] They're such dicks.

[427] I don't know her.

[428] This was like, this was like peak stranger danger time.

[429] And my mom says that she could feel everyone staring at her.

[430] Hopefully.

[431] She did her best not to lose her cool or to vomit.

[432] And she calmly carried me out of the mall.

[433] Thankfully, no one stopped her.

[434] Thankfully or unfortunately.

[435] I mean, there's, you could argue both sides.

[436] And we safely made it to my grandma's house.

[437] She's pretty sure that being so visibly pregnant stopped her from being accused of being of kidnapping.

[438] Needless to say, my perfect child reputation suffered for a while until my holy terror of a sister came along.

[439] Oh, shit.

[440] Anyway, my mom and I don't agree on much these days, cough, Trump, cough.

[441] But I never doubt her love for me. and I know that she'd still jump into a pit to save me from groaning and plastic balls.

[442] Peace, Emma.

[443] Aw, these are some fucking solid stories this week.

[444] Beautifully written, Emma.

[445] Yeah, that was really, that was really, that was a wonderful blend of all the things we love.

[446] That was excellent.

[447] Well, here I've got one more.

[448] Great story.

[449] I'm not going to read you the title.

[450] Hey, darling, dearest.

[451] I go by Molly and I'm from Boston.

[452] I've decided to share my most embarrassing memory with fellow murderinos as an offering of levity between all the, you know, murders.

[453] One day at my college work study job in the library, my daydreaming is interrupted when a coworker anxiously asks, do you hear that?

[454] He points at the wall and I noticed it is buzzing.

[455] We figure it might have something to do with the construction upstairs, so we call down a worker to come investigate.

[456] Sooner or later, though, pretty much every class that shares a wall with us is now in the library trying to figure out with the noises.

[457] Pretty soon I hear my boss say, whose backpack is this?

[458] He's pointing at my backpack, which is slumped against the wall, the noisy wall.

[459] When he picks it up by the grab handle, the wall stops buzzing.

[460] Then it all clicks in my head.

[461] And I remember there's a vibrator in my backpack.

[462] Oh, honey.

[463] Which must have been thrown on when I tossed my backpack against the wall.

[464] As my boss begins to unzip the bag, I make a pathetic sound, dash over, snatched the bag, and scurry into the women's room to turn off the vibrator.

[465] When I come back for the rest of my shift, my middle -aged boss, undergrad co -workers, the library staff, construction workers, professors, students, etc., are all giggling hopelessly.

[466] Everyone in the library that Monday morning knew that I had a vibrator in my backpack, evidently so powerful, it caused a public safety disturbance in the library.

[467] oh my god to this day i have unsuccessfully maintained that it was an electric toothbrush so thank you for finally giving me an opportunity to come clean about the vibrator in my backpack at the library stay sexy but not so sexy that your vibrator goes off in the school library and don't get murdered and then not surprising there's no name thank you no name that is cathartic and we've all been there mine was an enema at the airport being held aloft by the TSA because I forgot and it's over eight you know eight ounces and I forgot to take it out of my fucking travel case and she was cracking up as she held it aloft no that's mean please don't do that please don't do that oh my god we're about laughing and I don't care obviously I'm saying it on the podcast so what do I like listen people have needs people find libraries incredibly sexy traveling is dihydrate traveling is hell on the body as we have learned.

[468] No shame.

[469] A lot of shame, but no shame.

[470] So much shame, but I, yeah, what, what would you do?

[471] I just, I, it's such a human story, like, to hear that and just be like, what the hell's that noise?

[472] And you're joining in on that, like, yeah, what is that noise?

[473] Because you can't, you don't remember.

[474] Thank God she had the, had the, like, you know, she wasn't frozen and grabbed the backpack before he, because the amount of holding a loft part is the part that's, Well, that's cruelty.

[475] I think, I feel like hopefully, I mean, we'll never know.

[476] But in my idea, the middle -aged man that picked up the backpack would not have held it aloft.

[477] Oh, no. Oh, no, no. He would have been more embarrassed than she was probably.

[478] Yes.

[479] That I would have bet on that.

[480] I think, although I don't, I think I would have froze because it would just been like, oh, no, it's over for me now.

[481] Then you would have forfeited the backpack.

[482] I'm like, I don't know his backpack that is.

[483] I don't know what papers with my name on the top is in there.

[484] That's not mine.

[485] I don't know why my initials on the outside.

[486] Send us your, I mean, we've opened the floodgates.

[487] Feel free to be anonymous, but you need to share these with everyone else because we've all been through them.

[488] Probably not as bad as mine and hers.

[489] But maybe worse.

[490] Do you have a worse embarrassment story?

[491] Shit, yeah.

[492] You don't have to put your name on it.

[493] We'd love to hear it.

[494] We would love to hear it.

[495] Everyone else would love to hear it.

[496] We're going to show it to the light so maybe you can take some of that off.

[497] I feel like once you see, hear how funny it is.

[498] you're going to be like that's that was worth it it's also it'll um it is i think cathartic like you said i think it is that thing of like we've all been i've felt like i spent most of my life having that embarrassment feeling so anytime i hear a story that's like that i love it because it makes me feel better totally makes me feel less alone and it's that thing of like laugh at yourself and it's who cares laugh at yourself laugh at vibrators laugh at laxatives whatever it takes Whatever your system requires, we're all the same.

[499] Yep.

[500] Please send it to my favorite murder at Gmail.

[501] Tell Lily, we say hi.

[502] And also please stay sexy.

[503] And don't get murdered.

[504] Goodbye.

[505] Elvis, do you want a cookie?