The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett XX
[0] Did you know that the DariVosio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[1] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life, and the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany and Austria.
[2] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[3] And along with the Dyeravisio channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV plus.
[4] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a Cio channel.
[5] right now.
[6] When was your hardest time?
[7] My hardest time?
[8] In your five guys journey?
[9] Yeah.
[10] Well, I went through a very painful divorce and went through something called Leave to Remove, which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
[11] Essentially, it's the right to have your children taken out of the country.
[12] So I had two young children who, the court system was.
[13] approved leave to remove, which allowed my ex to take my kids back to America, which was incredibly painful.
[14] And my whole view of myself, my definition of who I was changed.
[15] I thought of myself as a great partner, good husband, good father, devoted father.
[16] I was in politics back in America was involved in my community and a church leader and businessmen.
[17] And I thought, you know, all these things are who I am.
[18] And essentially all of that was, you know, quite a large bonfire of vanities.
[19] And that was a real dark, dark moment for me. And there were days when five guys was the one thing in my life that was stable and that I could hold on to.
[20] And it really pulled me through a very difficult dark time personally how long did that that process last um that that's part of the UK challenge it took years um better part of two years um we're in that process um and then um you know trying to um rebuild those relationships and thankfully i'm in an amazing place with my kids now um and have um you know accepted that they that we have had a more adult relationship but now that they're both at university and feels more normal now and those are hard fought hard one recast relationships which you know really important are important to me but was i was the thought that they were at risk was caused just enormous anxiety and living with that kind of anxiety on the personal side having a place where you know things were more predictable was in being able to work in that way provide for them was you know a real yeah really helped me through when your kids are essentially taken away to another country and you've got this huge responsibility of running this big business how do how does Does that impact your ability to show up every day professionally?
[21] Well, I mean, it was really complex for me because I had a non -compete back in the U .S. for the business that I had sold.
[22] So I couldn't just relocate back to America and do my job.
[23] So it felt like a huge cash -22 because I had these court -ordered financial obligations and the only way that I could really fulfill them was to keep doing my job here.
[24] Court -ordered financial obligations as in the separation costs and stuff that you have to page your pun.
[25] Yeah, exactly.
[26] So it felt like a catch -22.
[27] They were allowed to leave, but I had to provide for them, so I had to stay.
[28] So it felt like a kind of indentured servanthood for a bit.
[29] But, you know, being able to focus on the important job that I had actually was enormously relieving, because I knew that for, you know, 10 hours a day, you know, 12 hours a day, whatever it ended up being that I could actually do something productive that I knew I was good at that made a difference for them and that was it the the anxiety of being separated I could set aside for a few you know for those hours in a day and that was really helpful it it could have absorbed just kind of overwhelmed me but work was able to it was it was a place where I could where I could escape from that Did you see your motivation fluctuate?
[30] Often when we have these like pretty substantial life events, there's an initial period where getting out of bed in the morning is a little bit more difficult.
[31] It's almost like someone is messed with your why, your reason to get out of bed and your sense of purpose.
[32] Yeah.
[33] So you always have to, I've learned from my own experiences that you have to spend a little bit of time.
[34] You're almost faking it to get the drive back, if that makes sense.
[35] No, of course.
[36] No, well, you know, I told you I got up at 5 a .m. when I was a kid and practiced file in for an hour before.
[37] before school.
[38] And I was never a great musician, but what I did find was that if you did something every day, you actually could get better at it, maybe even more than competent.
[39] And I think it was something like that that just in me said, you know, said, you know, get out of bed, do the next thing.
[40] And something, things will change.
[41] You will, I called a friend of mine who'd been through a similar situation.
[42] and he said, you know, just keep showing up, you know, texting my son every day, calling, you know, every day, being as present as I possibly could.
[43] And, you know, obviously it's imperfect.
[44] And it's deeply upsetting, I'm sure, to them, as well as to me. But doing it as much as you possibly can to be available and in touch.
[45] And then you just have to trust, trust something that it'll be okay.
[46] Trust something.
[47] I think just trust life that it will...
[48] No, I mean, you know, now we're getting very personal to even, but, you know, I believe in a higher power.
[49] I don't pretend to understand it, but I think there's something much more powerful than I am in the world.
[50] And what I will say is that it helped me to see the world in two camps.
[51] One are things that I can control and some things that I absolutely can't control.
[52] And if you spend, if you allocate your mental health and your time on the things that you can't control, you can drive yourself to distraction and eventually madness.
[53] So being able to focus on the things that you can control and realizing that that's your job.
[54] Your job as a human is to do the things that you can control.
[55] And if you, if you, you know, it's just, it's just arrogance and ignorance to focus on the things that you can't control.
[56] And so identifying those two camps and being at peace with that, accepting that you can't, some things you can't control, that's really hard, but it's hugely important.
[57] Yeah, I was at this festival this weekend and there was a, I did one -on -one meetings with lots of people that were in the audience for three hours, and I found myself being asked over and over again how to deal with exactly that, which is when chaos arrives in our lives, what to do on that day and people had me recording these voice notes for them for that day so when that day comes they just wanted to be able to play it and what you said that is exactly what i said which is there are a small list of things you can control and on that tough day make a promise to me that you'll spend 100 % of your mental energy focusing only on those things because you can't because obviously yesterday focusing too much on that tends to lead to depression as i think the loose how the philosopher says focusing too much on tomorrow and the things that are yet to be in your control will also cause a lot of anxiety so really focusing on today, I think, is just phenomenal advice in terms of, A, it's the thing that's most conducive with a successful outcome, but B, it's also the thing that's most conducive with having a healthy mental state in total chaos.
[58] No, I think that's absolutely right.
[59] I mean, I think the other thing is that realizing that our, I believe, our purpose in life is human connection.
[60] I think that's why we're here.
[61] I think we're made to connect.
[62] And sometimes it's, you know, we're colliding and more than connecting.
[63] But, but figuring out how to connect with other human beings.
[64] And I will say, you know, that was the making of me as being able to, to, you know, when someone comes into my office and says, you know, I've lost my, I've lost my partner.
[65] You know, they passed away, you know, way before their time.
[66] You know, being able to connect with that person in that moment of loss is hugely valuable as a company.
[67] but hugely meaningful to me as a human being.
[68] And I wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't been through the loss that I had experienced.
[69] So, you know, it's one of those things where you end up being grateful for the most upsetting things that happen in your life because I think they're the making of you in many ways.
[70] Because of what you said at the start of this conversation about that importance of feeling like you belonged, and that's so evident that that is much of the reason and you've also been successful, as you mean, even from the short conversation we've had, you strike me as a very empathetic person who is able to connect with others.
[71] That moment must have been presumably even more difficult because your sense of belonging in that moment was taken from you to some degree.
[72] The family unit, right?
[73] No, for sure.
[74] That was a, yeah, that was a defining moment.
[75] But now, you know, the thing about five guys is that we have these 8 ,600 people who get up every morning and have this shared vision mission to make great burgers and fries for hungry customers.
[76] And I get to be a part of that.
[77] And I get to be a part of this larger community that has this, and that winning in business feels fantastic, right?
[78] I mean, it's a real high.
[79] It's a, it's a drug, and it's an addiction.
[80] And being a part of a community that has, that this, it's accomplishing this thing.
[81] You know, we were the eighth fastest growing business in 2016, I think, in the UK, and the fastest growing food and beverage business.
[82] And even with that, we never met a budget that I had made.
[83] So, you know, we were fastest, but, you know, still behind by my mind.
[84] And being a part of this community that shares our values and that are all working towards this is enormously satisfying.
[85] and yeah, fill something that, you know, has always been empty.
[86] Some days as CEOs, we maybe we're tired or, you know, we're in a bad mood or something's off.
[87] We can sometimes not show up as our best selves.
[88] And sometimes when that happens with me, I regret it.
[89] So I'll go home and think, I just wish I'd, I wish I'd handled that situation differently.
[90] Does that happen to you a lot where you think, fuck, I wish I'd been.
[91] in a better mood or I'd slept more today or something.
[92] Yeah, Julie tells me when...
[93] Who's Julie?
[94] Julie, my head of ops, she comes in and says, yeah, you really fucked up that meeting.
[95] Oh, really?
[96] That was...
[97] But actually having somebody who, you know, to me, the one of the worst things that can happen are these, you know, emperor has no clothes where, you know, where the most important, powerful person in a business has blind spots that, you know, everybody knows about and somehow you know you work around and and that's just hugely dangerous as a business and having people who can come into your office and go john that that was you know that comment was just way out of line or really unhelpful you know you now have people thinking like this is that what you wanted so people who can confront power with truth and you know to me that that kind of culture is hugely important to a company because you can go so wrong with the emperor has no clothes and people thinking, God, we know this, we just can't tell them to that person.
[98] How do you cultivate that?
[99] Because I imagine a lot of CEOs and a lot of team members that work for a CEO, think, oh, if there's no way I could give to my CEO and tell him that was wrong or he shouldn't have said that.
[100] Or she should have said that.
[101] I think publicly owning your shit is really helpful in that way.
[102] So showing up at the next meeting and go, hey, you know what, I said this to the last meeting and that was just really wrong.
[103] It was off.
[104] I was off my game or, you know, I didn't think it through.
[105] And, you know, it should be the opposite.
[106] It should be the opposite of that.
[107] And, you know, showing that you can respond to that kind of challenge, I think is important as a leader.
[108] And then you give everybody else permission to do the same thing.
[109] You know, I mean, you can change your mind.
[110] You're allowed to change your mind.
[111] You're allowed to be wrong as a fallible human being, too.
[112] And confessing that, it's powerful.
[113] Did you know that the DarioVosio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[114] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life.
[115] And the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany, and Austria.
[116] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[117] And along with the DariVosio channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV Plus.
[118] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a CEO channel right now.