#400 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz, Duncan Trussell

[0] Joe Rogan, experience.

[1] Train by day, Joe Rogan, podcast by night, all day.

[2] I love Lucy.

[3] How many episodes I Love Lucy?

[4] You can sit there for fucking two years and not watch I Love.

[5] He has a kid, they go to Panama, they meet Superman.

[6] He puts the fingerprint.

[7] How many fucking I Love Lucy's?

[8] Real quick, not to throw you off.

[9] How?

[10] I only take three shroom texts because one time I took like five dog and I couldn't control myself.

[11] Really?

[12] Like, when I started doing the shrewing.

[13] Shroom tech, I would go to the epileptical, and I can only do seven to nine minutes.

[14] Yeah.

[15] And I would start getting stressed out.

[16] Now, with the shroom tech, I could do 45, and that's because I get scared.

[17] I get off.

[18] I hit the bag before I get on the epileptical now.

[19] Yeah.

[20] For 30.

[21] So that's how much, you know, I've been working on it for fucking five months.

[22] Right.

[23] But the shroom tech, I take, you're supposed to take them towards body weight, correct?

[24] Yes.

[25] You know, like, and I don't even know how to do the math.

[26] on that.

[27] So I just take three of them just to be safe.

[28] Right.

[29] But they're fucking, I'm telling you, man, I like them.

[30] Yeah, I took five.

[31] That's the biggest thing.

[32] You take five.

[33] I take five of those before I work out.

[34] That's crazy.

[35] It's just a lot of B -12, a lot of B -12 and a lot of quarter -steps mushroom.

[36] And, you know, there's nothing bad for you.

[37] I've never had a bad experience from taking five.

[38] I wouldn't advise people to take five.

[39] I would say cut it off of two.

[40] I take three.

[41] I get gangster with them.

[42] I found all these football players were getting gangster with it.

[43] They take, like, five alpha brains and six room techs, and I was like, these guys they're gigantic so I'm like I'll try five let's see what five is like but isn't that follow you at that same rule that guy told you like don't take too much of you know like boner pills or something like that yeah well it's it's really I would say yes but it's really it's all natural it's not it's nothing like radicals happening to your body it's not a stimulant it's not like I wouldn't worry about it I wouldn't take more than five you know what's going to happen because of this you're going to be watching CNN .com and you're going to hear about some psychopath wandering into D .C. with a shotgun and then pictures of alpha brain are going to start flashing up he had 700 bottles in the back seat of his car he would please he would be enlightened he wouldn't be going with a gun he would be going with hugs you try to hug him and they shoot him that would get yeah that gets you killed faster than guns yeah she was suffering from postpartum and she uh was driving around she was on you know some sort of medication yeah drive it down the white house and she got a a gun fight with the with the popo they wound up killing her she had a baby in her car i mean it It's so crazy.

[44] Every time I see stuff like that, I think, man, I wish you could do that in Grand Theft Auto.

[45] It's like you can't drive kids around.

[46] If you notice that, there's no kids in Grand Theft Auto.

[47] Not a single kid.

[48] Why would you want to drive little fake kids around?

[49] Why not?

[50] I want it to be realistic.

[51] Drop them off at school, drive them off cliffs.

[52] Wow.

[53] You can't kill dogs in it, though.

[54] Yeah, that's where we draw the line.

[55] You can't have fake killing of babies.

[56] If you encourage that in any way, shape, form and then it somehow becomes a reality like someone decides to make sport of killing babies because it's a part of a video game it's going to be a real problem how fucking crazy is this is happening now every three weeks people it's pretty crazy this is this is not even a joke no more like it's happening every three weeks and you know what it's going to happen around here at a fucking park at a stupid basketball game at a fucking taco place there's a lot of issues a lot of fucking issues.

[57] And I'm sitting there going, you know, is this a setup?

[58] There's somebody hanging out outside a fucking psychiatrist's office.

[59] When they see some fucking guy come out, they give him a gun and $20 and say, I mean, what the fuck is going on?

[60] I don't think that.

[61] I don't think.

[62] I don't know what to think.

[63] I think it's natural.

[64] That's what I think.

[65] Really?

[66] When you have this many people.

[67] It was this natural to go into them?

[68] No, I'm not saying that.

[69] I'm saying it's natural when you get this many people that are on, first of all, on drugs.

[70] You have a massive amount of people in this country that are on.

[71] all sorts of drugs, whether they need them or not.

[72] The reality is the amount of people that are on prescription medication is very high.

[73] Then you're going to have natural amounts of mental illness.

[74] When you have a high population, you have higher amounts of mental illness.

[75] They've shown this in rap population density studies, apparently.

[76] I was listening to this podcast about it.

[77] I think it was psychedelic salon where McKenon was talking.

[78] I forget.

[79] It might have been Art Bell, either way.

[80] They were talking about rap population density studies.

[81] is that they did the same thing with rats, where they started them small, put like 100 rats in a room together or 10 rats or whatever, and they just kept ramping it up until they were on top of each other.

[82] And when they were on top of each other, they started exhibiting the same sort of mental illnesses that you see in people.

[83] Or like they stand in the corner and would just shake and rock back and forth.

[84] They couldn't handle it.

[85] You started to see all sorts of weird, aberrant behavior.

[86] And they think it's from the over -stimulation because when you get to a population density like that, it's very difficult for the human body to tolerate.

[87] It's very difficult for the human body to deal with the sheer numbers of people that you interact with on a daily basis.

[88] It's almost completely unnatural for us.

[89] And so the idea is that in these scenarios, most of us can keep it together, but there's going to be a certain amount that have mental illness, and coupled with a certain amount of extra stress that our highly populated cities are providing, with a certain amount of extra craziness because they're on prescription, medication and then just the stress of life period all that together being unemployed financial stuff boom powder keg but isn't this stuff happening mostly in the united states and other overpopulated countries you don't hear about this it's good point you do about some the one in finland where the guy murdered those kids that's right there was the guy in finland but it's was in finland or iceland i don't think it was finland i don't know jo the big one was in san diego when the kid went into macdonald yeah the kids that was the big one that's that's it.

[90] That was, you heard about, you went home and there was a special eyewitness news report.

[91] They were in San Diego and the guy had a shotgun and that was, you know, now it seems like you expect it.

[92] It's a daily occurrence now.

[93] Some are worse than others.

[94] It's also, there's a lot of people out there that feel disenfranchised.

[95] And there's a lot of people out there that they don't, they don't feel like they can make a dent in this world unless they do something really bad.

[96] There's people out there that feel like to get noticed.

[97] and to get people to recognize them, they can do that if they do something really bad.

[98] I think it's a love famine.

[99] I think people are starving for love.

[100] People in the United States don't express love in a normal way.

[101] It's a really weird thing.

[102] You know, like you might be around friends or even just talking to your brother or something and you have this impulse where you want to say, I love you, man. I love you.

[103] But you don't do it.

[104] There's a thing that triggers in you where you feel, I'm not going to say that.

[105] I think that's what it is.

[106] I think people are just so turned around backwards as to the flow of nature, the flow of life that they're sort of malfunctioning because of that.

[107] Yeah, there could be that for sure.

[108] There's also this weird transitionary period the human race is going into as we get more and more information on a daily basis from the internet.

[109] It's more and more obvious that the world we live in is fucked.

[110] like the system's terrible.

[111] We know that we can operate as individuals and we can be really friendly with each other.

[112] You know, we can, the people in this room can, we can party, we can live together.

[113] We can, if it was just us on the planet, we were the only people that we interacted with, we'd have a great time.

[114] So why is it that when you get massive amounts of people, all the sudden there's all this death and there's all this fucking fighting and there's all this chaos and there's all this, you know, lawsuits and bullshit and what is it?

[115] You know, what it is about number?

[116] Sounds like the fucking Kardashians.

[117] You know, here's the other thing.

[118] It's, it's a person.

[119] Two people can have a life now.

[120] Like, you and Duncan could own a business.

[121] Do you know that?

[122] And not even talk to each other.

[123] Yes.

[124] You can live in your home and Duncan can live in your home.

[125] You don't have to talk to each other.

[126] I'm very insecure.

[127] Why do you?

[128] I'm like texting.

[129] Why?

[130] I'm insecure.

[131] I want to hear you.

[132] Oh, you want to know.

[133] I want to hear the person's voice.

[134] I want to hear you.

[135] Right.

[136] And you don't want to text me. And you don't want to even voicemail messages either because you want to communicate.

[137] I want to talk to you.

[138] I'm all.

[139] school because I don't want to ever lose that.

[140] Yeah.

[141] I don't know how to say, I don't know how to say the word.

[142] We're disenfranchising ourselves from ourselves.

[143] Yeah.

[144] And that some people can handle it and some people can't.

[145] I can't handle it.

[146] You know, I was fucking 30 when I was 20.

[147] So I'm an old soul.

[148] I like it.

[149] I like the contact.

[150] For me, I need to hear your voice.

[151] One of the all -time best douchebag actor stories.

[152] Yes.

[153] I'm at a restaurant once, and this douchebag actor is there.

[154] And he's by himself.

[155] eating and he's I think he's crazy and he starts talking to a couple that's near them like they're sitting by themselves on a date and you know he's kind of fairly famous so he starts talking to them like how long have you two been together you know and they're they're you know they don't know what to do but they kind of recognize them so it's kind of weird so they kind of are stuck in this thing where they have to talk to the guy and then I'm watching this play out and he's he's talking to him he tells the woman that she's an old soul Jesus He told her she was You seem like an old soul You really seem like an old soul You guys really I send something with you too Like this is an amazing relationship Isn't it It was so fucking strange And I was like Get me out of this town Get me out of here You people With your fucking emotional support dogs I told you about that shit I'm at a restaurant Bigger than me get on a plane with a French poodle.

[156] I was cracked right there.

[157] Bigger than me!

[158] 400, 400, 400, 480, 500 with a fucking French poodle.

[159] Go ahead, I'm sorry to interrupt it.

[160] That's hilarious.

[161] Just don't even get me started on that fucking issue.

[162] LA has, people have figured out that there's a workaround to this Americans with Disabilities Act.

[163] Yes.

[164] And you can say that your dog provides you with emotional support and you can be like a regular person and you can go into a restaurant with a fucking Labrador.

[165] See, this is a thing.

[166] This is a thing I got to confess.

[167] When I was with Natasha, we realized this trick that you can put a red vest on the dog with a little cross on it.

[168] You can order them on the Internet.

[169] And legally, people can't ask you what your disability is.

[170] So it's like, because, you know, when you see somebody with a Chihuahua, it might cross your mind to think, how is this thing going to help them if they start having a seizure?

[171] Like, what's it really going to do?

[172] It's going to let you know he's dead.

[173] Park, park.

[174] Mark, bark, bark.

[175] So, like, we started saying that we were doing that.

[176] And then, man, got a couple, got some emails from people who are disabled.

[177] And they're like, you have to understand.

[178] I have to have this dog.

[179] Like, it's trained to either guide me. It's trained to, like, help me if I have a seizure.

[180] And every time you assholes put one of those fake vests on a fucking dog so that you can go and eat in a nice restaurant with it, you're making it that much more difficult for me to do it because people are getting increasingly suspicious and increasingly suspicious where they used to not be at all so just leave your fucking dog at home if you want to go eat pasta don't don't gum up the gear don't get in the way of people who are actually fucking sick yeah because there are you cunts I was one of those cunts in Columbus Ohio Christina Pisizki and Tom Zaguerra brought their dog using the same thing See, that shit is so ridiculous.

[181] People with dogs think that just because they love their dogs, that dirty, stinky, open -assed animal can just be allowed.

[182] Yes, it is.

[183] They're rubbing their little asses on chairs, and that ass on the chair could have worms in it, and the microscopic worms could get in my hand, and I could get worms.

[184] That's real.

[185] It's a dog, man. It's a fucking dog.

[186] It's creepy enough that people drop silverware on the floor and pick it up and still use it.

[187] Like you're going to wipe off with a napkin, all the fucking shit eggs that are stuck to the bottom of your show.

[188] My dog's shit eggs are clean.

[189] Dude, I love dogs.

[190] You know I do.

[191] I've always had dogs.

[192] But bringing dogs to restaurant is a massive douchebag move.

[193] How about that fucking plane?

[194] It's just as bad.

[195] How about the plane when you got to sit next to somebody with a fucking dog?

[196] Listen, I love animals too, but I don't expect somebody else like them.

[197] I'm old school.

[198] You want to listen to music with your fucking earphones on, and I'll put mine on.

[199] You don't have to hear each other's shit.

[200] I like something different.

[201] So I'm the same way.

[202] I feel like if I was to walk into somebody's space with a dog they didn't even know, I'd be fucking feeling weird.

[203] Yeah.

[204] I don't know.

[205] That's just how I was built up.

[206] I'm wasting your fucking time.

[207] And there's people who think they could do that shit on fire.

[208] And I know it guides you for emotional support.

[209] But so there's a Pop Brownie.

[210] You eat a little half of a Pop Brownie.

[211] You go to a restaurant.

[212] You're okay.

[213] You can leave the fucking dog in the car with the air on.

[214] And, you know.

[215] Some people can't leave the dog anywhere.

[216] They want that dog with them all the time.

[217] I love my cats.

[218] I worry about earthquakes.

[219] Most people who ate.

[220] But you got a. If people ate pot brownies, like you eat pot brownies and went into restaurants, they would need emotional support.

[221] No, no, no. I'm talking about, I've had conversations with people that do not smoke marijuana.

[222] They're not potheads.

[223] They eat brownies.

[224] And they've given up, they eat little pieces of brownies.

[225] They'll buy, like, a hundred milligram brownie on Monday, a divine well.

[226] And it lasts in four days And they drive to Warner Brothers And they communicate with people And they threw away their fucking pills Wow Okay This I know What pills were they on?

[227] You know, the shit that they give you When you go to the doctor And tell them that you hear voices Whatever the fuck they give you Whatever they give you Joe Adderall You know I'm so sorry Whatever I'm sorry guys I don't know No hey I know it's not my word I know what you're saying though You know so that that's how I meant I didn't mean it's in a funny way it's real tricky to decide what medication is right for anybody you know I think it's real tricky to try to figure out how another person's mind works and that seems to be the issue that they have when they're prescribing those medications in the first place like when our friend was on them I think one of the things that came up was that they had a constantly change his dose and give them different stuff and they will like try this tell me how you feel on this like it's that simple like they give you stuff to try and you're like well I guess I feel good okay was that you think that's a good dose and you're like well I feel pretty good you know everything seems pretty good today like okay or we're going to keep you at that dose and when they start doing shit like that it's like it's very it becomes very subjective like what work why does this one work really good on you and that one work really good on him i was on zoloft when i was in college why were you on it i got depressed wow what was getting you depressed that's i you know i don't know i'm not really sure that i like completely figured it out but um i don't know how long were you on it for i was on it for probably six months and I couldn't come like it made it so that I couldn't come anymore like I could get it I could get it up but I couldn't ejaculate I couldn't have any orgasms that's Brian's favorite new drug I know what is it called Zola It's also really bad for your brain note dude Especially if you're not supposed to be on it Well it was you know what it did What it did was it did produce this Feeling that I now associate with when I'm being really healthy like when I'm meditating a lot or exercising regular eating right or when I get all my ducks in a row this nice clear tranquility will generally come over things that I'm not my mind isn't reactive when any weird shitty thing happens it's like you just are sort of at this nice tranquil level it kind of kind of reproduce that at the cost of not being able to have orgasms and then um when I just stopped taking it and went out in the woods because i was working in the summer camp went out in the woods shot load like a donkey with a cattle prod up his ass first time coming after how long god i don't know man it was it was a while i mean i could but it's not like i couldn't come it's just like it took forever like if you've ever taken a narcotic and tried to jerk off it's like that it's like it just doesn't happen it's like that so but you can do it if you really apply ply yourself and work really hard and like you can like squeeze some jizz out of the thing.

[228] After it's over does it feel like you accomplish something?

[229] Yeah, it feels like you put your cock and a pencil sharpener.

[230] Because you've been jerking off for an hour straight.

[231] At two points in my life, I've jerked off to the point where I had a blister on my dick.

[232] Oh, Jesus.

[233] An actual, like a blister?

[234] Yeah.

[235] Like a blister?

[236] No, like a red spot where I like wore through the skin.

[237] I had one of those.

[238] Twice.

[239] To dry jacking.

[240] Are you a serious?

[241] On two separate occasions in my life, I did that.

[242] That's how stupid I am.

[243] I had one time.

[244] Beat off to my jickers.

[245] Dry jacking.

[246] When you're young, especially when you're young and single, especially if you're trying to stay single, like you're trying to be focused in your career, it was when I was very young.

[247] When you're trying to be focused in your career, the last thing you want to do is be thinking about sex.

[248] And just, for me, my solution was just beat off on the reg.

[249] And then it becomes an addiction, really.

[250] That should be in the Constitution, where before politicians make big decisions, they have to masturbate.

[251] I bet this shutdown wouldn't happen.

[252] It's like Boehner and Obama had to jerk off before they decided to do whatever they were going to do.

[253] They would definitely be less tense.

[254] Is it still shut down?

[255] Still shut down?

[256] Yeah.

[257] I got about 22 fucking hate emails the other day when I went out to the other night to work out on the way home.

[258] It was 20 to 10, and I saw the wheat store.

[259] I'm like, let me go in there.

[260] And on the way home, it dawned on me that it's 20 to 10.

[261] And the weed store is still open.

[262] The way I worried it was the government shut down.

[263] And the weed stores still open.

[264] And the weed stores still open.

[265] And we'll be for the next two hours.

[266] Fucking, I got hate mail.

[267] Fuck you, you fat, fuck.

[268] Why is that bad?

[269] Why would you get hate mail from that?

[270] People were like, you don't understand what's going on with the government.

[271] This is bad.

[272] This is all because of Obama.

[273] Guys, it's a fucking tweet.

[274] You know what I'm saying?

[275] Yeah.

[276] What's wrong with you?

[277] This is why it shut down.

[278] Don't, fucking Momo's like you.

[279] Yeah, don't get mad at Joey Diaz for stating the obvious.

[280] Can you believe that?

[281] Because every time there's a stupid article or something on Twitter and on the media, we get fucking Twitter from people across the country like haters.

[282] Hey, man, they're going to shut the fucking stores down.

[283] What are you going to do then?

[284] No more.

[285] And all of a sudden, these fucking stores are still rocking and rolling.

[286] Denver is rocking and rolling.

[287] I was in Portland last week, and those motherfuckers don't know what it is nothing.

[288] smoking.

[289] You know, those fucking savages up there.

[290] They walk around with pot trees and shit, and knapsacks.

[291] I mean, that's it.

[292] They have no idea.

[293] So, all of a sudden, the government shut down because they got no Gitas.

[294] But these fucking states got so much Gitas and taxes.

[295] I think California is broke.

[296] But at least they're generating.

[297] Let's look up the fucking numbers people.

[298] What's Denver generating?

[299] What's Denver?

[300] Did you see that 60 -minute show?

[301] Well, what they're saying is, it's going to be, it literally is going to turn the economy around.

[302] Around.

[303] This is it.

[304] Completely.

[305] Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, and these dummies, by the way, who are the same dummies who are anti -drugs, it's almost like secretly they want drugs to be legal, and the only way they can go about it is to have the government completely collapse, so that they can't regulate them anymore, and then the drugs will take over, and the drugs will let them understand how they've fucked up the entire country with their cunty egos.

[306] Yeah, that's great.

[307] Then they can apologize.

[308] It's almost like the only thing that can save them at this point is pot.

[309] out of all the ones that are dangerous at all the ones that you want an instant change in the economy of course it's not going to be under corporate control you've got to realize that you're ready for that because it's going to be under control but anybody wants to grow pot that's the problem if you make it legal how legal is it going to be is it going to be legal to grow like a tomato like I have tomatoes in my yard is it going to be okay if I grow pot in my yard because if that's the case it's pretty easy to do man good luck we're off to the races the whole economy's going to change wasn't there a time when weed was totally legal.

[310] Totally legal.

[311] And no one even thought about it.

[312] Before the 1930s.

[313] It wasn't even a thing.

[314] Like it was just something else you smoked.

[315] It was so common and so normal and so used as a textile and a commodity.

[316] Like it was so important to the making of clothes and for all sorts of different things that they had before they came out with the decorticator.

[317] When they came out with the decorticator, it led them to be able to process this shit really fucking easy.

[318] And all the difficulty that they had with processing in the past was gone.

[319] One machine completely figured out how to take this hemp and turn it into, instantly turn it into what you could use for paper, building materials.

[320] Henry Ford made his first fucking car.

[321] He had the fenders made out of hemp.

[322] It's an amazing plant.

[323] It's one of the most durable fucking plants that's ever existed and it's lightweight.

[324] It's really weird.

[325] It's not like any other plan.

[326] So the idea of making that illegal was so ridiculous that they had to make the name marijuana.

[327] What they did was Harry Anslinger and William Randolph Hearst and Hurst controlled all these newspapers.

[328] We also controlled all this paper.

[329] He controlled all these, like he made, he had forests, and these forests would chop down this wood and use it to make paper.

[330] He was going to have to convert all that to hemp.

[331] Like popular science was saying hemp, the new billion -dollar crop.

[332] Like, they got it in because of the actual applications for like clothing and nylon and fuel.

[333] that's how they got it in.

[334] They got it in as a commodity.

[335] They essentially banned an incredible natural commodity, one of the greatest ones ever, so that they could have nylon for like ropes and shit like that, so that Hearst didn't have to transfer his mills over to hemp paper.

[336] There's a bunch of weird economic reasons.

[337] It just stuck so good.

[338] In the 1930s, it's still stuck.

[339] Yeah.

[340] Like, we're running around with the fucking Internet, with cold syrup and alcohol.

[341] and fucking antidepressants and everything else and to this day one of the best plants that's ever existed on this planet for people is illegal illegal I mean if there's no you don't need any more proof than that that we're fucking retarded like you want to talk about a backwards ass civilization they've got the best plant ever illegal then nothing else can fuck with it there's nothing else you can eat make houses with make clothes with and that motherfucker is illegal.

[342] It's going to be interesting seeing that population growth for the places that are legal now and seeing if there's a growth in like music and arts.

[343] Like if it's become like Portland becomes the New Seattle in like just two years or like some Well it's illegal in Portland.

[344] It is illegal?

[345] Yeah, it's illegal in Portland.

[346] Portland didn't pass.

[347] No, well you can have medical.

[348] They didn't make it legal statewide.

[349] They only made it legal statewide.

[350] First was Colorado.

[351] Second was shortly after was Washington State.

[352] And those are the only two right now that it's actually legal in the state.

[353] But we knew that Denver had passed a city law way back in the day where they said weed was legal.

[354] They said they were not going to arrest you, don't smoke it in public.

[355] The cops, like, they openly stated they weren't going to do this.

[356] We used to talk about that on stage back when we were doing the comedy works in the early 2000s.

[357] Yeah, it's very strange.

[358] It's a really strange phenomenon.

[359] I think it, and if you look at it, not just from the economic perspective of why people economically might want to ban it, but also from the consciousness level because of the state that induces is one of deep introspection and if you consider capitalism and the effects of it like what you just said and you really explore like shit do i want to be uh do i want to be do i want to subscribe to the system that has actually thrown people in jail for growing a thing that used to be like one of used that's the kind of thoughts that come to your mind when you're high along with a lot of other stuff like man i think i'm a fucking asshole did i really just say that to whoever i said that too like i think i'm a fucking asshole and the more you start like thinking about stuff like that that produces the paranoid trip everyone's so afraid of but if you take that deeper than what you realize it's happening is the plant is healing your consciousness and it's identifying aspects of yourself that need to be worked on that's what the effect is and also if you get super stoned and just get into a messy room, you'll start organizing the fucking room, generally.

[360] You'll start cleaning and scrubbing because you're externalizing what it's doing to you on the inside, which is organizing all these disparate aspects of your personality and forcing you to at least acknowledge it, if not work on it.

[361] And does that kind of balancing agent work with a society based on denial and a society based on ignoring the fact that the whole thing functions by evaporating human beings and stealing their land.

[362] Do you really want a drug that produces that level of understanding in the bloodstream of the population?

[363] Well, you do.

[364] Just you don't, if you're the one at the helm of the fucking meat machine, if you're the one is pushing the blades across the land and slashing everything in front of it, then you don't.

[365] But if you're everybody else, of course you do.

[366] Of course you do.

[367] Right.

[368] We're all better off high.

[369] It's never, I've never really known what it is to sit on a couch.

[370] You know, I don't play games.

[371] No. I don't play video games.

[372] I don't even know.

[373] Play a little pool.

[374] Joe Diaz can play some pool.

[375] I grew up in a fucking bar, but my mom had a ball.

[376] Joey Diaz can shoot straight.

[377] No way.

[378] Here's the weirdest thing of the mall that weed always kicked my ass.

[379] Like, it always fucking beat the fuck out of me. Like, when I smoked it in the morning, like 8 in the morning, it would pattern my day for me. Like, first off, you're not going to sit here.

[380] Right.

[381] You got to get the fuck.

[382] out of the house.

[383] Okay?

[384] So it made me go out and get like a...

[385] I always love listening to music.

[386] So I used to get those any time.

[387] Since 1980, I've always had something around my ears.

[388] Whether it was the big disc, I never had the big ghetto blast but I had the disc.

[389] And then it got shorter to the cassette.

[390] Yeah.

[391] And then it became an iPod.

[392] I don't even know the evolution.

[393] I even had the power booster that I bought on 40.

[394] You know, New York, the electronic.

[395] Oh, yeah.

[396] You could buy anything.

[397] I used to buy Sony.

[398] You used to make an amp that you plugged into the Walkman and you plugged into the Walkman, and you plugged your speakers into the fucking amp that's how much of a savage I was I wanted it loud because when you're going in New York City there wasn't those earbuds then it was speakers you know yeah but I wanted it loud and I tell you people used to go around with ghetto blasters remember that their own ears at the whole neighbor they would have their own music a hip hop a hibit to the hip they would like walk down the street like holding on a giant radio boomboxes like what that is that has got to be one of the weirdest creations a huge loud stereo that you carry with you and dudes would bring them everywhere.

[399] Do you remember that?

[400] But let me explain some to you.

[401] Think of the dudes who did it.

[402] It was the same dudes today who have a pit bull.

[403] You're right.

[404] The people who had that were people who fucking look kind of scary.

[405] Like what?

[406] They walk in with the Don't look me because I'm closed.

[407] They'll walk into the fucking house with it blasted.

[408] Well, in some ways it makes life a little bit simpler because you're walking around with a soundtrack.

[409] You know, I had one.

[410] I had a small one.

[411] I remember this.

[412] Yeah.

[413] That's what they used to carry.

[414] That's insane.

[415] Look at that thing, man. That looks like something we would plug into to make the show.

[416] Yeah.

[417] That looks like the podcast equipment.

[418] He's got like sliding scales on that thing.

[419] Look at that.

[420] You're turning on Hughie Lewis in the news, full blast.

[421] It's it to be a bit.

[422] I don't think that guy listened to Hugh and Lewis in the news.

[423] No, he's probably listening to him.

[424] And if you had one of these, nobody ever took it from you.

[425] Cool G. rap and DJ Polo.

[426] You get mugged on their fucking stereo.

[427] dog, there's a, please help us find it.

[428] I'm sure someone must have, Joey.

[429] People steal everything.

[430] Did you see this?

[431] This is me in high school Duncan Charleston.

[432] Yeah, I saw that.

[433] Did you see that?

[434] Unfucking believable.

[435] Joey's in the far right.

[436] That's insane.

[437] You were so cute.

[438] Check out the sexy legs.

[439] Lucky seven.

[440] Can you get it so just his whole body fills the screen?

[441] No, I was 44.

[442] I was 44.

[443] It was no lucky seven.

[444] Yeah, like that.

[445] Look at that.

[446] Wow.

[447] Wow, that's so crazy.

[448] Wow, look at you, dude.

[449] So how old are you in this picture?

[450] 14.

[451] God damn, Joe, you're cute as a button.

[452] Look at David Ruiz.

[453] Turn around and talk into the microphones for other people can hear this too.

[454] That kid right there was up on this screen too.

[455] That kid with the afro was a very interesting story.

[456] This guy right here?

[457] Because we were a horrible basketball team at McKinley.

[458] Can you go full screen?

[459] And he moved in to our neighborhood.

[460] Does it do that?

[461] He could jump.

[462] He was fired.

[463] foot eight, but this kid could fucking jump like Julius Irving.

[464] So he was Dominican.

[465] His name was Louis Hernandez.

[466] I'm from Jersey.

[467] They just plain that they just cut it short and called him Louis the nigger.

[468] They said, fuck it.

[469] We don't care if he's Dominican.

[470] We're not going to even think about that.

[471] We're just going to...

[472] This is David Ruiz.

[473] They called him that to his face, too.

[474] Like Louis de Nigger.

[475] And did he get pissed?

[476] Fuck you, bitch.

[477] He was a tough kid.

[478] Did he get mad at you when you call him?

[479] Sometimes.

[480] I think he bit slapped two or three people.

[481] But the best thing he did was We used to do acid.

[482] When we first started smoking weed in the eighth grade, we go behind the soccer field in North Bergen, and he let us blow smoke into his afro and see the smoke come out of the end.

[483] How cool was he?

[484] I remember that.

[485] I remember you tell me that.

[486] This was the crew.

[487] So I knew all these motherfuckers.

[488] Scroll down to the...

[489] All right, this kid here's...

[490] No, up.

[491] That kid there was David Black.

[492] We graduated together, and I knew him after the fact.

[493] And one night he came into Joe Maher.

[494] He's like, look, you got to call.

[495] you got to give me a ride.

[496] If you give me a ride, I'll give you a rock.

[497] All right, we gave him a ride.

[498] He gets out of the corner of West New York.

[499] About three minutes later, he comes running back, bleeding with his hair pulled.

[500] I go, what happened?

[501] He goes, I went and robbed my sister.

[502] I mean, he was seriously.

[503] He had Coke rocks for everybody, a chunk of his fucking hair.

[504] She caught him on the way out as he was pulling out of the window, and she just took.

[505] He was bleeding.

[506] His sister.

[507] He robbed his sister to the window.

[508] Oh, my God.

[509] It's terrible.

[510] Oh, my God.

[511] This is when Coke gang was king.

[512] This is 83, dog, at 3 in the morning.

[513] You asked me for a ride.

[514] I got to do what I got to do, you know?

[515] Think of how crazy that statement is.

[516] This is fucking crazy.

[517] Joey, I wish you could do your own stand by me, like air.

[518] My God.

[519] My fucking God.

[520] Joey, who is this?

[521] Why is this head so small?

[522] When I got this picture, I nearly, which one?

[523] The Filipino kid?

[524] No, this guy on the left.

[525] That kid's like a multi -gazillioner now.

[526] His family owned a tow truck company in northern New Jersey, New York City.

[527] So you get towed, his family is the one.

[528] that owns it.

[529] I swear to God.

[530] I believe you.

[531] This is fucking crazy shit here.

[532] I believe you.

[533] It's fucking crazy, man. Somebody sent me this yesterday while I was eating dinner.

[534] And I almost had a fucking heart attack.

[535] That's incredible.

[536] Look what I found looking through yearbooks.

[537] And that's when I was an innocent.

[538] No, I was smoking dope then.

[539] I was no innocent then.

[540] I was smoking dope.

[541] I was finger -banging people.

[542] It's still being in a plate hoops.

[543] You could still be innocent and fingerbeys.

[544] It was just me and my mom at the house.

[545] Yeah, yeah, I was okay.

[546] I was okay.

[547] I wasn't crazy then.

[548] I smoked my first reefer when I was 15.

[549] I ganked it from my dad.

[550] And I had no idea how strong it was.

[551] And we rolled a joint.

[552] And me and my friend Josh and this girl that I was dating, we smoked this shit.

[553] And we smoked way too much for 15 -year -olds, whatever we were.

[554] And we wound up waking up and, various parts of the house like blink like blink i've never happened to me before but like blink all the sudden i'd be on the couch blink all the sudden i'd be in front of the refrigerator like blink all the time in between the blinks missing wow just arriving places like waking up in a bedroom no short term memory not just no short term memory it's like my tape gets cut like the the events between those two did not exist I get so high I had zero memory so what I would think it was was I got so high that I would say you know what I need to just get into the kitchen and maybe get something to eat and maybe it'll calm this down so my brain spools up that it's got to figure out to remember to get to the kitchen to eat because I'm that high and then in between during the walking I forget everything so then boom all of a sudden I wake up and I'm in front of the refrigerator going what the fuck and she was doing it too my girlfriend at the time And my friend was doing it, my friend Josh was doing it too.

[555] We were all fucking, it was, it scared me off a weed for a long time.

[556] Scared me off a weed for a long time.

[557] I didn't smoke weed again for several years after that.

[558] The first time you get high, you really don't get that zonked.

[559] It's the second or third time.

[560] And then you, like, you're outside.

[561] You really start to understand that you end up in a bowling alley buying a chocolate milk.

[562] You know, you're sitting there.

[563] That's why I went and ate.

[564] We had French fries and chocolate milk.

[565] Have you ever had that happen where you felt like you?

[566] You woke up in places?

[567] Remember, the first two or three years, I just smoked.

[568] You know, like, Duncan, what are you doing Friday night?

[569] Nothing.

[570] My mom's leaving.

[571] Perfect.

[572] I'm going to call Joe when I come out with some weed on and all, bro.

[573] My brother found that last time.

[574] He's going to wrap me out.

[575] All right, fuck it, we'll smoke in your yard, and we'll go and listen to Pink Floyd.

[576] I mean, that's what, not even though the wall wasn't even out yet.

[577] We listen to the Beatles, Sergeant Pepper.

[578] Like, that's it.

[579] Like, we get together and roll a joint.

[580] In those days, I used to have a glass.

[581] You went to east west, this head shop.

[582] and there was a tube, and it was like a flute with this open, but it had a hole, and you put the joint in there, and you put your finger at the end, Joe light it, and you'd light the joint, and I'd suck it in, and I'd hold the back, and it was like, that's it, that was your carburetor.

[583] When you smoked one of those, you got zunked.

[584] That was it, and then we'd sit around, and we'd all have money, you know, like, what do you want to do?

[585] How much you got a dollar, quarter, what do you got $3?

[586] I got four, let's go to Knicks, and you walk to the pizza place, remember, you know, you just talk stupidity, And you look at each other Do I look high?

[587] No, you think Nick would say, I'm high No, he's on, no, I'm high.

[588] Come on, do I look high?

[589] No, no. But, Vizene, it was a fucking, it was tremendous.

[590] Then you had to get in the house and walk past your mother.

[591] Yes.

[592] And that was the night your mother decided to make cookies.

[593] So now you had to look and talk to her, whatever.

[594] That's why you smoke pot, dog.

[595] Because it brought something different to your life at 13.

[596] It made you feel fucking alive.

[597] How cool was it?

[598] Like, I always want to do, right now, forget about anything.

[599] I would love.

[600] to get 60 people and chairs and couches and just fucking come out on stage and give everybody a joint and the table in the middle with joints and just do time to all those joints are gone.

[601] Well, you know, there's a couple places you can do that in Toronto.

[602] That's it.

[603] They're going to start having those in Denver.

[604] Guarantee.

[605] Any day.

[606] The only problem is it's against health code to be able to be smoking in a public place.

[607] We just want to crack jokes, dog, and bring it back to when you were 14 and you all sat around and listened to you're something I said.

[608] Yeah.

[609] On that one album with the white up, you know, we had great arms.

[610] And I was growing up, a bicentennial nigger.

[611] All those arms were brilliant.

[612] And you'd sit around with six of your buddies, and you listen to George Carlin or Red Fox.

[613] Come on, you know.

[614] I used to sit around.

[615] That's what taught us.

[616] That's what hooked us.

[617] That was it.

[618] Just that feeling of listen to this, what this motherfucker is saying.

[619] Listen to his language.

[620] We don't know anybody who talks like that.

[621] Yeah.

[622] Even George Carlin, he was so fucking hip.

[623] I remember still listening to.

[624] Lenny Bruce and like being like 8 and like turning it off like fucking hiding what was the first stand -up you got exposed to?

[625] Richard Pryor, the nigger's crazy Wino meets Dracula push me over the fucking top drooling, crying like mommy I gotta tell you this joke and then putting it on and going back and telling him you I don't admit the curses you I don't admit the curses and then you learned you know at all that age I wasn't into fucking the black dude that everybody's supposed to like Bill Cosby?

[626] No, how was it, George Carlin, Richard Pry?

[627] Oh, man. For me...

[628] Later it was Bill Cosby.

[629] For me, was the first.

[630] That was my first.

[631] My parents had an album, and it was Noah having a conversation with God.

[632] You ever hear that?

[633] Noah in the Ark, Noah having a conversation with God?

[634] Yeah, I vaguely remember it.

[635] It's fucking great, man. I mean, it's great.

[636] He's a totally different style than any of us.

[637] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[638] And I don't think he's right in when he, like, he gets mad at people for using certain language.

[639] Yeah.

[640] You know, like, there was a Juana Sykes interviewed him once, and he, like, criticized her language, like, how she, you know, phrased the question to him.

[641] I'm like, oh, come on, man. But as a comedian, like, the dude's top -notch.

[642] He's extremely conservative.

[643] He's a very conservative person.

[644] He's very conservative.

[645] Well, you know what he is?

[646] He's a super successful man. that had to be incredibly driven to get to where he was.

[647] And he's not tolerating any mediocrity or what he perceives to be mediocrity in any form, whether it's language or behavior or the use of swear words.

[648] Fun guy.

[649] Yeah, it's unfortunate.

[650] My first experience with stand -up was, I can't remember, I was very young.

[651] My parents had a record player.

[652] I put Bill Cosby on and would play it.

[653] And when you're a kid, you don't have an immune system.

[654] for comedy because you've never heard it before so the first time you hear it it knocks you on your ass because it's so funny you can't stop laughing you don't have the defense mechanisms it's a brand new thing you're hearing a whole new rhythm a whole new way of storytelling that is always the funniest thing you've ever heard i can remember laying there and not being able to breathe just like clutching my stomach because it was so funny and it was like the one the his joke that i remember from from this album was the one about getting drunk just it was just this whole story about throwing up and getting drunk and getting drunk yeah yeah yeah yeah well he had that great bit about the son at the the football game that the dad works out with the son does all this thing with the son and then finally you know the cameras turn on him and he's like hi mom yeah yeah I had one that the one that I got hooked on the one minsea ganged he got but that's the one that really fuck mincea up That one really fucked him up.

[655] Which one was it?

[656] The Cosby one.

[657] Because that's sacred ground.

[658] I mean, as far as stand -up comedians, in my opinion, there's five, six sacred comedians.

[659] And Cosby's one of the sacred ones.

[660] Sure.

[661] No doubt about it.

[662] He's a all -time genius.

[663] You know, you can't talk shit about him.

[664] But what an odd decision to steal a Bill Cosby joke.

[665] He fucked up.

[666] You know, we've said a lot of things about that guy over the years, Mincea.

[667] You know, I honestly hope he's got his shit together.

[668] You know, I wish him well.

[669] I don't have, we don't have to play that, dude.

[670] The Buck Buck Buck joke with the blue thing is one really flip comedy for me. He does a bit about playing Buck Buck Buck and he sits on a stool.

[671] And he doesn't move.

[672] And anybody who ever played Buck Buck Buck knows it's a moving game.

[673] Right.

[674] He sold me in my mind.

[675] And that's when I learned the other phase of comedy.

[676] By that time I was maybe 16 or 17.

[677] But guess who I was into at that point?

[678] Who?

[679] David Letterman.

[680] When Letterman first came on...

[681] That's so weird.

[682] When Letteman...

[683] Fucking tell me about it.

[684] When Letterman first hit TV, I was a senior in high school.

[685] And the first time I was Letterman, I was gone.

[686] Really?

[687] Like that style of...

[688] Being cool guy.

[689] Yeah.

[690] Something.

[691] And then I watched him from 18 to like 23, you know, whenever I was home at 11 when I wasn't coked up.

[692] or in jail whatever stupidity I was doing and not in jail and then I didn't watch him again but I knew that style when he would come up and do his monologue in the beginning I dug him like I fucking just was sold and I found that he was at the comedy store and prior I was at the comedy store and I started putting all the pieces together wow and already I had heard the guy from Mark and Mindy was a joke thief he's a fucking joke thief you're following me right so I heard that already and then again way before I was going to be a fucking comic not even thought I went to catch that dude and we've said this already out here I went to see the dude from Boston that's very witty Stephen right right yeah he went my friend won tickets to the radio in Boulder at the big thing on South Boulder we went he was brilliant his material was brilliant I was blown away wow he didn't fucking curse really towards the end that's a different style yeah you know and all of a sudden I went to see him you lay it and did the same material.

[693] And I was dissing, and I said to him, I said, if I was ever a comic, I wouldn't do the same fucking material.

[694] I think he has a real problem with that act.

[695] It's such a narrow window that he can write material in, you know, the things he could write about.

[696] Everything has to be absurd.

[697] Everything has to be like a little flip on things, you know.

[698] Yeah, I love comics like that, like him and Mitch.

[699] Yeah, me too.

[700] They're amazing, but I think it must feel a little claustophobic to get.

[701] get stuck in that form like stephen rike i guess he can't just come out and start doing a long story because people would be like what the fuck what if he did it with like a lot of energy yeah and i was like lady what the fuck you talk and everybody's like whoa whoa whoa where's that mellow guy yeah yeah that's so i think that sucks kind of to get stuck or to get pigeonholed in that one form i once worked at a fire hydrant factory couldn't park anywhere near the place yes yes That's a classic Stephen Wright.

[702] That's that style.

[703] In a lot of ways, very Heedbergian.

[704] Headberg style is kind of like that, too, like real odd.

[705] It's fucking so good.

[706] I love all that shit.

[707] My favorite headberg one is, well, it's one of my favorites.

[708] He goes, somebody asked me if I wanted a frozen banana.

[709] I said, no, but I want a regular banana later.

[710] So yes.

[711] You're like, what?

[712] Imagine if somebody wrote that down for you If you're hiring a guy to write jokes Listen, fella, I'm going to give you a 200 an hour Write me some snippy material I really need to kill him at the club tonight And he reads that Guy asked me if I want a frozen banana What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?

[713] Guy asked me if I want a frozen banana I say no but I want a regular banana later So yes What the fuck are you What the fuck am I paying you to write Jesus Christ, you piece of shit But meanwhile, it's brilliant It comes out of a headbrook The one about Double Tree How did they name that?

[714] What do you want to call the place?

[715] Two trees?

[716] Double Tree Meeting adjourned His stuff was And his stuff never connected Like what we do is like We'll have a subject And so much easier The way we do comedy Because you have a subject And like your subject Like the Liberacee bit that you're doing now you start on he'll start on that Liberace movie and he can talk about that fucking movie for 15 minutes.

[717] It's a whole series of hilarious things that exist inside of this one subject but if you're a Mitch Headberg guy it's like you essentially you're talking about one thing and then you're talking about Oreo cookies and then you're talking about you know heroin, whatever.

[718] And all the bullets you've got to have in your gun you've got to have such a so many jokes for an hour set if each of your jokes is eight six.

[719] seconds yeah and they're all non -connected yeah but meanwhile headberg would just pump it out man he pumped out a lot of shit he constantly was writing that guy was like one of the most prolific guys you know like you always heard about him writing a lot of material yeah i heard somebody say they would write with him and they would go meet him to write and they would have like one Maybe one shitty, half -thought -out joke written down, and he would have, like, 20, just hilarious jokes.

[720] He's one of those comics, it just pours out of him.

[721] Is that you breathing in the mic?

[722] Jesus Christ.

[723] I don't know what it is.

[724] What's with the fucking questions?

[725] You see, I'm over here to the guilt.

[726] I'm listening to my ears.

[727] You're here in Darth Vader in the background.

[728] Yeah.

[729] He had that style down.

[730] He figured out his perfect style.

[731] And that's a great example Why you can never really teach comedy You know I thought about doing Remember we talked about doing this at the store Like doing something in the belly room Well I was I was gonna call it like a comics workshop And the idea was like you really can't Like anyone who's like a real legitimate comic Could go and do it for free You can't pay for that Can't charge people for comedy classes It just seems too fucking weird It just seems too strange It's like That's the entire opposite Of the feeling of camarader that we're supposed to be giving each other.

[732] We're not supposed to be taking money from each other like that.

[733] We don't feed off of each other.

[734] What we should be doing is promoting the art of stand -up.

[735] If somebody wants to take a course and they're not a comedian, and they just want to find out what it's like and sit in, then I could see maybe charging them, but someone who is actually a comedian, trying to be a comedian, there's that.

[736] So the idea of teaching a class kind of goes against the whole way of, you know, the whole way of camaraderie that we all enjoy.

[737] But it's also that you can't teach people how to do comedy.

[738] You can only give them advice as to maybe how you would do it, or maybe if they shorten things up or had less words.

[739] Well, it's a little bit like what you're, it's funny, I'm sorry to cut you off.

[740] It's funny because what you're saying reminds me a lot of what people say about, like, Buddhism or spirituality is that they say, you know, you can't read this.

[741] This isn't something like you can read all you want, but it's not going to teach you.

[742] It's the practice of the thing itself that teaches you.

[743] So like when I went down to hang out to this Ram Dass retreat and there is this Zen Roshi there, this woman who's been practicing Zen for like, I don't know, our whole life basically.

[744] And she said that the teacher does not give the student enlightenment, but sets the conditions, creates a good condition for realization.

[745] So in the same way, I think you could have a comedy class, but the comedy class isn't something where you tell someone, here's how you hold the mic, and here's the way you write a joke, and here's how you get booked at clubs.

[746] It's more like here's an environment that is conducive to coming up with ideas and jokes, some kind of free -form, chaotic place where people would just get together and I guess get to be around people like you or like, you know, Cosby or big comics, because somehow just being around a very funny person for a little bit of time can teach you so much.

[747] But the actual mechanics of the thing, the technical aspects of it, that's, I think, where comedy classes are right off.

[748] I'm going to tell you this sincerely from my heart that, as you were saying it, and Joe's going to agree with me because we're both on the same page.

[749] I would have loved if somebody would have taken my hand in the beginning and walk me through a lot of things.

[750] And there's a lot of things that I could take a new comic that we've all three, of us, all four of us, everybody in the room could take a new comic and walk them around for a couple weeks with them, three, four weeks and explain this.

[751] After that, it's like anything else, man. You got to figure it out on your own.

[752] Because that's part of the journey.

[753] That's part of your happiness.

[754] That's what's going to make you happy later.

[755] Well, not only that.

[756] You two guys are a perfect example of it.

[757] You two are two of my best friends, and you're also two of my favorite comedians.

[758] Thank you.

[759] And you're both completely fucking different.

[760] And I love watching both of you perform equally.

[761] You're both totally different, totally different styles, but yet both awesome.

[762] You know why?

[763] Because you're really you and you're really you.

[764] It's that simple.

[765] You're not playing.

[766] We all know the poor people that are stuck putting together like an act and they're kind of pretending to be someone they're not.

[767] We know those folks and it's a terrible rut to be in, you know, artistically as a person, whatever.

[768] You guys aren't in that spot.

[769] So because of that, you're allowed to figure out, and I don't know if that's ever going to be, you almost have to struggle uniquely and individually to get to become a Dunkin' Trussell.

[770] It's almost like if you get advice, like they're never going to figure out that this is possible, that you could be you.

[771] Like if you met with someone when you were 20 years old and you're like, Duncan, what would you like to do someday?

[772] I like to smoke pot, play video games, I'd like to write about my penis.

[773] I would like to go on stage and make people laugh and that's really it.

[774] They'd be like, well, okay.

[775] Kill yourself.

[776] That's cute.

[777] But let's think realistically, Duncan.

[778] What about your real future?

[779] Instead of saying, oh, so many people have done that before, this kid, no one is going to be able to figure out how to make a Duncan Trousel except Duncan Trousel.

[780] Well, I think some people, I think comedians, there are tendencies in comedians.

[781] There are similarities in comedians, right?

[782] Wouldn't you say there's things in comics, not material -wise, but there are aspects of comedians that all seem to be the same.

[783] One is they're, they tend to be very anti -authoritarian so you know like when when you tell them what to do when you tell them this is what you have to do they they inevitably want to reject that overcome it disrupt it make fun of it and and i think that tendency starts when you're really young and if that tendency is in you you're going to have a hard fucking time anyway getting a regular job because it's so such an affront like i can remember listening in college there was a career class we had to go to And I can remember sitting there and listening to the guy talk about having to wear suits and talking about the way you talk to your boss and talking about the way to be polite in the workplace.

[784] And I don't know, I said some...

[785] You know what happens when you listen to that guy?

[786] You wind up at a restaurant with your date and some asshole actor starts telling your date that she's an old soul and you just take it without bitch slapping that dude.

[787] Yes, exactly.

[788] They turn you.

[789] You're right.

[790] The essence of the thing is just lay on your belly.

[791] and submit to the master.

[792] Just the very same thing that like when you see a mother dog, like our dog had puppies and I remember watching the mother dog play with the puppies and part of the thing it seemed like she was teaching them was to like show their belly to like turn over on their belly.

[793] That's the essence of the fucking thing.

[794] It's like obedience, subservience, submission.

[795] Well, it's the only way you're ever going to get by in life with a regular job.

[796] The only way to get by in life if you want to move your way up the corporate ladder, you have to follow the rules, you can't tell dirty jokes at work, you can't try to get laid you can't try to play pranks on people there's no room for creativity you're there from nine to five you punching you punch out i think these are that's not all places though man i just saw oh no it's certainly like google i saw pictures of like somebody working in google and they were laying in a box of colored balls on their laptop that's amazing i don't think it's i don't think it's all places there's an old school model it's an old school model which is that it's based on feudalism it's based on the king Show obedience to the king.

[797] Show obedience to your boss or your teacher.

[798] Yeah, Google is the perfect example of how to do a corporation.

[799] I mean, we joke around about them being SkyNet.

[800] But the reality of Google is they've managed in a short period of time to keep a lot of fucking employees happy.

[801] They have a huge business.

[802] They own everything.

[803] They've got maps.

[804] They've got fucking music.

[805] They've got their own operating system for phones.

[806] They've developed their own browser.

[807] I mean, Jesus, fucking Christ.

[808] Has anybody ever kicked out?

[809] on the internet the way Google has.

[810] And yet, they're really cool their employees.

[811] If you go there, their employees get fucking foosball tables and shit and really good food and they can you know, they have a real comfortable working environment.

[812] I have a friend who works there.

[813] There's a dude that works there who's decided at work, he wants to be a girl.

[814] So he's a guy, he's married, he's got kids, but at work, he puts on women's clothes and they changed the title, his title at work, to what his girl name is.

[815] What the fuck?

[816] And they're like, like okay is we they're so open -minded they're not like Bob is there something going on man like you know all of a sudden instead of any of that there's none of that they're like okay well Helen um pleasure to meet you Helen if I met you before I have met you before but I met you as Bob okay so now well pleasure to meet you as Helen so let's from let's take it from here on where Helen except dinner parties when they go out at night he brings his wife then he dresses like a man yeah like if he has functions or anything then he's a man and he's married and he has a wife.

[817] And they're so open -minded.

[818] They're like, okay.

[819] As long as he does his job, right?

[820] Not putting you on at all.

[821] Wait, this is your friend or this is a...

[822] No, no, no, no. My friend is, my friend...

[823] I thought it's your friend.

[824] I'm like, did you get your buck?

[825] In the same environment as this person.

[826] My friend works at Google.

[827] That's all cool.

[828] That's all cool to you slip and fall in the bathroom, tie to sue Google.

[829] And they're like, Sue, then you wear a dress and fucking work.

[830] You want to sue me?

[831] You want to wear a dress cock sucker?

[832] You better get your shit together.

[833] Back your pencil.

[834] That's what happens when your heels don't fit.

[835] You imagine, what the fuck?

[836] You wear a fucking dress to work.

[837] Somebody's going to say something eventually, I mean.

[838] Well, the shoes alone would be reason to not be a woman.

[839] If I was a woman, even if I was like a really sexy, like, heterosexual woman, I think I would dress like a man. I think this is like the most comfortable way to move around.

[840] Converse All -Stars, pair of jeans, nice comfortable shirts.

[841] Why are you wearing those shoes?

[842] with those crazy shoes you wear and you can't walk in Yeah, you know one thing that is probably certain but I guess I'll find out in a second is that those fucking shoes were not invented by a woman, right?

[843] Like whoever invented high heels wasn't a one wasn't a No person was like You know what?

[844] I'm going to put myself in uncomfortable stilts That warp my feet I'm going to put myself In the most uncomfortable shoe wear I can't drink Yeah probably is a chick Probably wasn't No, a lot of people, like, footbindings.

[845] There's a whole history of, like...

[846] I meant to say, isn't it, a chick?

[847] I meant say, well, Jimmy Chew is a woman.

[848] Did you know that?

[849] Who?

[850] Jimmy Chew.

[851] That's like a big one with the gals.

[852] They love the Jimmy Chu shoes.

[853] Jimmy Chew is actually a woman.

[854] A woman created that.

[855] Yeah, but if you look at the history of them, like...

[856] Let's find out.

[857] Do you think it'd be a patent on that?

[858] This is why I hate Google.

[859] As a stone or any of your stupid ideas can instantly be shot down.

[860] My friend ate at wearing high heels the other day just tore her knee wide open because of the stupid high heel shoes.

[861] Yeah, they're fucking dangerous, man. It's like, especially when you're walking around on the street and there's cracks in the sidewalk and weird shit and divvets.

[862] You can't walk in those things.

[863] Bitch, you can't work in those things.

[864] Okay, where does it say invention?

[865] Say history of high heels.

[866] History.

[867] You've haunted me with those feet shoot, Joe.

[868] The footy toes things.

[869] I see them like every day now.

[870] They're great.

[871] If you wore them, you would wear...

[872] Well, you're so funny to talk shit because you're wearing slippers right now.

[873] You're wearing slippers like you just stepped out of some Russian bathhouse when they give you one of those massages when they beat you with the sticks, like Fador used to do?

[874] The banya, and they fucking slap you with that thing?

[875] These shoes are comfy.

[876] I bet they are comfy, but that's what it looks like.

[877] You're shuffling out in the middle of the winter and some Soviet Union gear headed to the banya to get slapped, men massaged naked.

[878] Or an Alzheimer's patient.

[879] who slipped out the back doors lost in a city.

[880] Yeah.

[881] All right, the first instance of the wear of high heels involved 1533 marriage between Catherine de Mertie and the Duke of Orleans.

[882] She wore heels made in Florence for her wedding, and as a result, Italian high heels became the norn for the ladies in the Duke's court in France.

[883] Unfortunately, this reference may be a cripple, apocryphal, Apocryphal.

[884] As the development of heels did not begin to come about until the late 1580s based on an iconographic evidence.

[885] So it was somewhere around the 18th, the 1580s.

[886] A lot of people say, I heard it's because everything used to be covered in shit and a lady didn't want to get her feet in shit puddles.

[887] And so you would try to use the high heels to like push the feet out of the shit.

[888] It doesn't make sense because the toes down, the toes still getting kicked in shit.

[889] the toes and the entire foot.

[890] Really?

[891] If I have to choose between how much of anything I want covered in shit I'm going to pick the smallest...

[892] I'll go with my heels.

[893] I'd rather have shit on my heel than in between my little cute little toes.

[894] Why would you want to get your piggies all dirty?

[895] My piggies walling around and shit.

[896] So what would that look like reverse high heels?

[897] That'd be a really weird...

[898] I can see if you have some Gene Simmons -style kiss boots you know.

[899] Call Dr. Love.

[900] They call me Dr. Love.

[901] teeth walking through the shit yeah that was the cause of a lot of disease back in the day was the poor sewer systems and the rotting bodies and all sorts of other things they had to deal with when people died just a river a shit man yeah and people would also like the like especially during times of war like their rivers would get clogged up with bodies you know and the bodies would rot and then if you drank river water with rotting bodies in it you'd get sick as fuck and possibly die this is why when people say Oh, look, these shootings are happening today.

[902] It's like you used to watch dead, blown -up bodies roll by your home.

[903] You used to, when you walked outside, you would walk up to your ankles and plague diarrhea.

[904] Yeah, it sucks that people are getting shot right now, but it's nothing like what it used to be.

[905] It's definitely nothing like what it used to be, but the numbers are so high that it seems like it's never -ending.

[906] It's a torrent because we're really not supposed to be paying attention to 7 billion people at the same time.

[907] That's what I think.

[908] Or are we?

[909] Or are we?

[910] Or is this going to be how we fix it?

[911] Is this going to be where people don't get ignored anymore?

[912] Where you really have to take and pay attention to the assets of every single human being.

[913] Assets meaning, you know, you as a person, an asset to civilization that all of them have to be accounted for.

[914] And if they're not, if they feel disenfranchised, that's when you're going to have problems.

[915] When they feel left out and they feel avoided, you're going to have fucking problems.

[916] And people don't get the love that they need from the jump.

[917] On top of all the real serious mental illnesses that can plague people that just happen.

[918] I knew a dude who went crazy.

[919] You remember the dude the Todd?

[920] Do you remember the Todd?

[921] Do you remember the Todd?

[922] Yes, I actually met him once.

[923] The Todd is responsible for me getting into the store.

[924] Wow.

[925] Because when I was doing...

[926] Yes, yes.

[927] Remember him?

[928] Friends of Pauly?

[929] Great guy, man. He was a comic and he was on MTV back in the day and he had been in and I went up and I did a spot and Mitsy she gave me non -paid regular status this means I could go on after the show was over so I would go there every night wait till like 1 o 'clock in the morning and get on and you know it was all right it was better than nothing and I was happy to have that but then I got a second chance to audition for a couple months after that and the Todd sat next to her on purpose and just laughed and laughed and he kept slapping the table and saying that I was funny because like sometimes Mitsy needs to hear from other people too she's like he's brilliant I mean, I was half of the same material I did three months before.

[930] But it was better then, I'm sure.

[931] I'd gotten more comfortable with being at the store.

[932] And I was nervous the first time.

[933] I think she also had her ear to the ground.

[934] And if you were coming in there every night, she knew it.

[935] Like, she knew it.

[936] And she knew that was, like, part of a sign that somebody had potential.

[937] I think it was more than just that instantaneous watching thing.

[938] I think it's a combination of, like...

[939] Sort of, but the Todd actually set me hip that that's been used before.

[940] And he told me that that's the way I should get me. my friend's in too.

[941] So that's what I started doing.

[942] Like when McGuire did it, I sat right next to Mitzie and laughed hard at McGuire.

[943] You know, anybody whoever, like, was performing for her, I would make sure I sat right next to her and laughed.

[944] Man, was that not the weirdest fucking thing sitting next to Mitzie and then watching the comics come up and like literally bow to her?

[945] Like comics would come up old school cult leader guru style, bow down, touch her, like try to touch her and then and she would do the Mitsy Wayvoid.

[946] Do you remember that?

[947] Yeah, the Mitzie Waiverid.

[948] Get him out of here.

[949] Okay, okay, honey.

[950] I'm watching a show.

[951] Are you talking about Todd Rundgren?

[952] No. Who's that?

[953] He's a musician.

[954] Why are we talking about him?

[955] When are you talking about him?

[956] No, he was from MTV back in there.

[957] Let me tell you what?

[958] Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You want me say about Todd Rungman?

[959] He was married to the chick.

[960] He was the Todd.

[961] What's the Todd?

[962] What's Tyler's?

[963] What's the TILERS?

[964] What's the TILA.

[965] Stephen Tyler?

[966] His daughter.

[967] Oh, Liv Tyler?

[968] Liv Tyler.

[969] His mother was living with that dude.

[970] Okay.

[971] And the mother took her to see, Aerosmith.

[972] And Liv Tyler turned around and told the mother, that's my father.

[973] For years, they had raised her thinking it was Todd Rungren.

[974] Whoa.

[975] But it was really Stephen Tyler, but she wanted her to figure it out.

[976] True story, bro.

[977] Todd Runger is a bad motherfucker.

[978] He's got some badass jam.

[979] You've heard his jazz.

[980] What is his songs?

[981] I don't know I wish you could play some yeah just look up the names of what's the dog fuck you can the fuck you can do if they can prove that you're making money off of it you absolutely can't one thing I think there's something called fair use how does it work I think that if you listen to Duncan he ain't got no legal experience yes he does he went on a legal zoom dot com and shit yeah don't listen to me this is some stoner bullshit comment I smell it fair use I smell hay farts I heard that if you're making a commentary over a thing there's some kind of like area where it is okay to like reprint stuff but it has it's not in really and I think you can do like there's seconds like you can do like 10 seconds or something it's all worked out that's interesting that's interesting I wish it would get released that Ice House Chronicles with we were talking about about what I feel is the greatest guitar solo in the history of music Freebird I don't think anything you fuck with Freebird and we were playing Freebird And we're just getting into the song about how crazy it was There's these dirty, stinky, long -haired dudes from Florida Who are making this insane music And all their songs were about getting away from girls All their songs Like a huge percentage of the songs Like, I gotta be free They call me the breeze I'm off the door bitch, you take care And call me the breeze All their fucking songs are about getting away Give me two steps I mean everything is like I gotta get the fuck out of this town This shit got crazy What's your name?

[982] I'll be back next year.

[983] It's so funny that we're writing songs about this ancient evolutionary thing encoded into our genetics, which is that you want to put as much DNA into as many people as you can.

[984] But now, like, people are actually, like, probably monkeys would sing the same song if they could.

[985] Any kind of primate would, like, is kind of stuck in that awful predicament of, like, having a genetic predisposition to spray jizz into as many holes as possible.

[986] It's just in there and then also the need to like start a family and love someone and be monogamous That's one of like the great internal wars that is raging around the world right now is people trying to Figure out how to deal with how to reconcile those things.

[987] Yeah, how do you reconcile that shit?

[988] Yeah, well, it's also I think there's a certain amount of conflict That sort of ensures movement and ensures a lot of activity and when you have two systems that are dueling it out one trying to dominate the other one trying to find a way through whether it's through certain new words they introduce into the lexicon whether it's or the language whether it's the way they you know how they interact with each other but what they're trying to do is everyone's trying to get a little bit ahead men are trying to get a little bit ahead of women women are trying to get a little bit ahead of men who feel suppressed will try to suppress others men who feel suppressed we try to do the same and there's this crazy battle going on and I think it's almost like design that way well it's a culture of dishonesty don't forget you're not allowed to say these things this is but it's also the culture that produces the most stuff creatively it's very strange yeah I think that's a very positive spin on it man but imagine like I should say right now it's not to discount any of the Europeans Japanese Asians whatever all the people all over the world that do creative shit right but there's a certain there's no reality there's no denying the fact that United States is responsible for an insane amount of influential pop culture.

[989] From the 1950s to the present, insane amounts.

[990] Of course, the Europeans, of course, the Beatles and the stones, and of course, the Who, of course.

[991] There's no denying that there was a million of them from the UK as well.

[992] But when you count in stand -up comedy, when you count in music, all different kinds of music, there's a lot of weird shit that came out of the United States.

[993] But do you think that's, you're saying that that's coming, from sexual repression?

[994] There might be something to that.

[995] The need to conquer.

[996] The need to conquer the crazy genetics that led to these people being willing to get in ships and go halfway across the fucking world in a boat with fucking barrels of food that might be enough for everybody to eat and you might not get scurvy.

[997] And you don't even have a fucking video that you can watch of what this place where you're going to try to live in looks like and you're going over there with your kids.

[998] Those are savages.

[999] Those people were fucking crazy.

[1000] So you have that.

[1001] You have the legacy of these people, and that's a part of it.

[1002] Like this desire to just move forward.

[1003] They're willing to take the most risks in order to get to America in the first place.

[1004] I think the people who came over here to, I guess, support your argument.

[1005] Many of the people who came over here were some of the most sexually repressed people on earth because they were hardcore Christians.

[1006] This is like the scarlet letter.

[1007] This is like the body was something to be reviled.

[1008] I don't know if it's the repression that is made that brings inspiration that that's never I've never been in a you know what maybe it is though because I can think of like times where you're like super horny or are like lonely and that that does produce think about music man yeah where's music coming from where's the greatest music coming from break up fucking pain man yeah coming from fucking pain the blues baby oh man there's some there's some classic song you're right there's some classic song you're You're my favorite mistake.

[1009] You ever heard that Cheryl Crow's song?

[1010] Yes.

[1011] God damn.

[1012] Tremendous guitar.

[1013] First of all, God damn that bitch could sing.

[1014] She had this, like, soft, warm voice that's like a hug that you get through your ears.

[1015] It's like this loving voice that she has.

[1016] And she's talking about this relationship that's just falling apart and that you're my favorite mistake.

[1017] And you hear the emotions and the love through her voice.

[1018] You've got to have pain to feel that, man. You've got to have pain to understand it.

[1019] You've got to have pain to be able to relate to it.

[1020] You've got to have experienced that.

[1021] If you're some fresh -faced pup who's never skid his knee and never had a family member die, you don't know what the fuck the possibilities of the world are.

[1022] You can't appreciate the full spectrum because you don't know how low the lows can get.

[1023] Your lows are pretty fucking high.

[1024] So when you do hit a low, it makes you appreciate the days that are high.

[1025] You know, I was just reading this, I'm reading this book called Cutting Through spiritual materialism, and it's by this Tibetan monk named Chogim Trampa, who was just writing about this thing that you're saying, and he was saying disappointment.

[1026] Disappointment is one of the great states to be in for growth and for spirituality, because disappointment means you're having a contact with truth.

[1027] It generally means you're having a contact with truth.

[1028] Something has gone against your expectation, which is how the universe works, and then you find yourself in what he describes is like just the rocky terrain of truth.

[1029] So now the relationship that you thought might work out, but you knew it wouldn't, it didn't.

[1030] Or your mom has died, or you just put your dog to sleep.

[1031] Now you're experiencing reality.

[1032] You're experiencing the fact that you are in a maelstrom of atoms that will inevitably dissipate in the nothingness.

[1033] And that is a really intense fucking place to be in, but he doesn't say stay in a place of disappointment.

[1034] He says that to move past that place into the next place, which is the incredible peace and joy that comes from recognizing that you're part of this infinite, non -ending, changing, beautiful thing, you've got to recognize the first part, which is you're not going to last, nothing's going to last, no one you know is going to survive this thing.

[1035] Everything that you've ever said will be lost in time.

[1036] We are all part of an infinite, shifting, changing thing, and what's causing you the problem, is your desire to hold on to a form, to hold on to the idea of this is who I am.

[1037] This is how things are always going to be.

[1038] This is going to last forever.

[1039] That conception will always cause you pain.

[1040] If you have a hangover, no, if you're having a terrible trip and you start thinking, I'm going to be freaking out forever, man. That will only make the trip worse.

[1041] And if you're with someone you love and you think, I'm going to be with this person forever, you're setting yourself up for some pretty severe disappointment because you won't.

[1042] And so that disappointment that comes from realizing that, that's the place where you start growing.

[1043] Hareda Krishna.

[1044] I just got disappointed.

[1045] Why are you freaking me out, Bunker Trussel?

[1046] You're fucking with my head, Duncan Trussle.

[1047] You're fucking with my head, Duncan Trousel.

[1048] I walked in here, the sun was out.

[1049] I don't think we all need it.

[1050] I feel like a fucking Elton John song.

[1051] There's an old expression that a wise man learns and the mistakes of others, a fool learns from his own.

[1052] Yes.

[1053] You know, and I think that I don't know if we need to have massive fucking chaos for people to understand and appreciate how cool life can be, but it helps.

[1054] And the people that I know that are the most interesting all had fucked up lives.

[1055] All of us, they all had fucked up lives.

[1056] Nobody here in this room was on the Brady Bunch.

[1057] Well, it gets you out there, man. It's like, you know, you always hear about people who get cancer.

[1058] And then all of a sudden, they're skydiving.

[1059] They're like running from the bulls.

[1060] They're doing anything they want.

[1061] They're telling the truth.

[1062] They're telling the truth.

[1063] And that's really, I think, that's like a, that's a tragic thing in the sense that for people to actually start appreciating their existence, they have to be, uh, dying.

[1064] You know, dying is in within a year.

[1065] We're all dying.

[1066] But it's like suddenly when you wake up to the fact that you're dying, that's when you actually are born.

[1067] And a lot of people don't get that.

[1068] Yeah, there's that wake up call.

[1069] There's that, that reality check.

[1070] When this is the real game, this is the real shit, man. And you're really affecting people.

[1071] Well, it's so easy to get complacent.

[1072] It's so easy to just get lazy.

[1073] It's so easy to just look at life and not appreciate the fuck out of this crazy ride we're on.

[1074] Especially us.

[1075] We're on the craziest ride of all.

[1076] The ride of the professional comedian.

[1077] We get drugs from the audience.

[1078] We tell jokes and they give us drugs.

[1079] Like the drug of laughter, that's a drug.

[1080] We're all addicted to it.

[1081] The drug of killing.

[1082] You know, man, I think it's a crazy ride, but I think the whole, if you have been blasted out of a pussy onto this planet, you're having a crazy ride.

[1083] Everyone You are, there's no way To not have a crazy ride And the thing The idea is just yawned And Brian put it on camera Why are you talking to me About rides, Drusel I'm gonna ride back home to my bed You keep talking to Cox sucker You're gonna fuck you You two fucking hippies You just started smoking weed A week ago Yeah He would say that for the first Like 10 years Joe Rogan You've been smoking weed for a year You've been smoking weed for two years Joe Rogan you've been smoking With three years Shut the fuck up Joe Rogan It's only been 10 years.

[1084] You don't even know about weed yet.

[1085] Four more years, then you understand the nuance, the subtleties.

[1086] 30 years.

[1087] The fucking s is the buttois of the weed.

[1088] 50 years.

[1089] Rogan, it's been fucking half your life.

[1090] There's a whole half of your life you did without weed, so shut the fuck up.

[1091] You did.

[1092] Yeah, it's amazing what you did do without the weed.

[1093] Like, now they shut it off for a while.

[1094] God's, God help.

[1095] Let's see what really happened.

[1096] Yeah, God praise Eddie Bravo.

[1097] Praise Zeus and praise Odin for Eddie Bravo.

[1098] Because if it wasn't for him, I would have never started smoking weed.

[1099] Right.

[1100] I thought it was for losers.

[1101] That'd be so weird to see the difference in your life Yeah, I'd probably be like way more agro It's a beneficial substance man And that's the real problem that I have With people that want to go on and on About people who are addicted to it Like, you know, I love Dr. Drew I think he's a good person, I really do But whenever I hear him talk about people being addicted to weed I'm like, let's get all those people That are addicted to it in a room And find out what the fuck else is going on Right I guarantee you you you shouldn't blame weed It's not a physically addictive thing I always feel something I always feel that you have an addictive personality.

[1102] You know, we've discussed when you were on the Kong.

[1103] What's the name?

[1104] Quake.

[1105] Quake.

[1106] You know, I remember when you were dropping this on me. I'm like, where's this coming from, Joe?

[1107] And you were like, oh, you don't know.

[1108] I used to leave you guys at the store.

[1109] I'd go home.

[1110] I played till 7 in the morning.

[1111] And to people to recognize that, that's where the gift comes in.

[1112] Because somebody would write that off.

[1113] Like, that's just what he does every fucking night until 7 in the morning.

[1114] And it's weird how I've always believed, especially for me, It's always been the transfer of addictions.

[1115] Okay, and at the end of the game, here's the simplest way to solution.

[1116] If you're going to have a fucking night addiction, you might as well let it be the cheapest and the less harmful.

[1117] And in my eyes, it's always been the wheat.

[1118] You know, it makes me better at night when I write.

[1119] It makes me, you know, it calms me down the daytime.

[1120] You know, whatever I make it believe that it does, it fucking does.

[1121] If it's not to make believe that, man, I know, no, no, no, no, no. I know you.

[1122] I see what happens when you get hurt.

[1123] Well, first of all, I never see you sober.

[1124] No, you see me sober.

[1125] Three times.

[1126] No, you see me sober.

[1127] I documented them.

[1128] I wrote him down.

[1129] I believe Joey Diaz is sober.

[1130] And I look at his pocket, he's got an empty Cheeba Chew rappers.

[1131] Cheeverchoo.

[1132] I might be incorrect.

[1133] Sober is a relative term.

[1134] But it's really weird.

[1135] Like, sometimes I go, you know what?

[1136] Monday, I'm not going to eat smoking, nothing.

[1137] I'll eat nothing.

[1138] And by Tuesday, it's not like I'm jonesing.

[1139] I'll just find myself with a joint of five in the afternoon when I'm writing something more.

[1140] But I like, you know, it guys out of all the addictions whether it's going to strip clubs drinking gambling i could have been hooked on a thousand fucking things we ended up with refa i enjoy it as a ritual i enjoy it as a ritual before i write i enjoy it as a ritual like before we do podcast i i i like it it it's like it signifies that we're we're going to shut off our phones and get into this space whether it's a space you're doing stand -up or the space of writing or the space of doing a podcast I like it in that way.

[1141] But I also like the effects.

[1142] The effects are undeniable, man, for me. That introspective aspect of it that you talked about earlier is so important.

[1143] Very important.

[1144] I've been talking about it on stage, the term paranoia.

[1145] You know, the people like, I don't like weed.

[1146] It makes me paranoid.

[1147] I'm like, you really should be paranoid.

[1148] If you're paying attention, if you really want to just open yourself up to all the possibilities, it's insanity out there.

[1149] Yeah.

[1150] Everywhere you go, you're a bag of blood, a fleshy bag that's holding.

[1151] a couple of gallons of blood.

[1152] And if any of it spills out, you're fucking doomed.

[1153] And you're running around in metal boxes.

[1154] Everybody's flying by, going 60 -plus miles an hour.

[1155] They don't know what the fuck they're doing.

[1156] They're running over motorcycles.

[1157] You see that shit in New York?

[1158] You see that shit?

[1159] In front of his kid.

[1160] The motorcycles...

[1161] Well, there was some craziness that went on.

[1162] I don't know who started what or who did what, but I know that that dude ran over a guy on a bike.

[1163] I'm going to bet it was the bikers.

[1164] Could have been.

[1165] However, how he handled it might have been incorrect.

[1166] Also, I don't know.

[1167] What happened?

[1168] The guy got, apparently someone slowed down in front of him, and he bumped the bike.

[1169] And then the guy stopped his bike.

[1170] And the assumption is that the guy did it on purpose being a dick.

[1171] And he was trying to box in this guy in the truck and make him slow down.

[1172] We also don't know what their interaction was before this video started.

[1173] We don't know if this had been going on for a while.

[1174] Like maybe the biker panicked and cut someone off.

[1175] The biker was an Asian driver.

[1176] I'm not saying.

[1177] I'm not saying that Asian drivers are terrible but a lot of Asian drivers are terrible are we in agreement on this?

[1178] Yeah but that doesn't mean it's not that all of them are terrible but that is the goddamn stereotype okay and I'm not saying that this guy's responsible I've never heard of that well no it's like 99 .9 % it's the goddamn stereotype I've never heard that and it's not 100 % true of course just like it's not 100 % true that all Italians beat their wives okay but that and me being Italian I can say that but the reality but the reality reality is, is that this guy in the video drives over, they're yelling at him, and he drives over this bike and drives over a guy and broke his body.

[1179] I mean, the guy, he drove over him with a fucking SUV.

[1180] I don't know if that had to have happened.

[1181] I don't know.

[1182] I don't know what happened before that.

[1183] I certainly think it's a terrible tragedy on both ends, that the guy in the car got beat up and that the guy got ran over.

[1184] It's a terrible tragedy.

[1185] But besides my horrible racist Asian joke, which I apologize for profusely, I was just joking around and making a point, but I don't know what happened.

[1186] I really don't know what happened.

[1187] So when I'm looking at, I look at a guy who drove over somebody and then I looked at another guy went insane and beat the guy's window in like while he has a baby in the car.

[1188] So to me, it says tragedy on both sides.

[1189] It's a tragedy.

[1190] It's a tragedy of over, overreacting on both sides, for sure, a horrible tragedy.

[1191] Yeah, it sucks.

[1192] Horrible tragedy that the guy got pulled out of his car and beat up.

[1193] Horrible tragedy that...

[1194] The guy got pulled out of his car and got beat up.

[1195] You got beat up.

[1196] You got He flashed his face.

[1197] Yeah.

[1198] Well, there was all this glass that broke, too, because the guy broke the window.

[1199] He's breaking the window with his helmet.

[1200] He's smashing the window with his helmet.

[1201] The whole thing's crazy.

[1202] They threw a spike strip out.

[1203] Did they really?

[1204] That's what I read.

[1205] What's a spike strip?

[1206] Popped his tires.

[1207] Who threw it out?

[1208] The bikers.

[1209] They had a spike strip on him?

[1210] That's what I read.

[1211] Okay, you are not Googling this.

[1212] You're not even trying to substantiate this.

[1213] Google it.

[1214] Okay, I'll pull it up.

[1215] Okay, we'll pull it up.

[1216] Okay, bikers threw down spike strip.

[1217] Okay, here we go.

[1218] You know, I'm watching this.

[1219] I'm thinking, you know, you know, you, your wife, your kid.

[1220] What the fuck?

[1221] I know.

[1222] Well, there was also, there was, um, tinted window, so they might not be able to see that this guy had his wife and his kid in the car.

[1223] Um, it doesn't say that, Duncan.

[1224] I read it.

[1225] And they didn't have license plates on their things?

[1226] Uh, biker brawl.

[1227] They popped his tires.

[1228] That's why I couldn't keep going.

[1229] No, um, apparently someone stabbed his tire.

[1230] That was one of the.

[1231] Maybe that's what I read.

[1232] One of the...

[1233] That's not real, Brian, you can't trick me. I know what a video game looks like.

[1234] You fuck.

[1235] It looks pretty goddamn good, though.

[1236] Look how good that looks.

[1237] Isn't that amazing?

[1238] Like, the textures of the road?

[1239] It's so beautiful.

[1240] Oh, show the time lapse.

[1241] Have you seen that?

[1242] The time lapse of Grand The Addo?

[1243] I'm never going to get into this game.

[1244] I cannot do it because it's just too...

[1245] It looks like it's too good.

[1246] Have you not played it at all?

[1247] No, I know me, man. I don't fuck around.

[1248] I know me. I'm crazy.

[1249] What about this Oculus Rift thing and Quake?

[1250] Like I said, I know me, bitch.

[1251] Quake is supposed to be Oculus Riff -friendly.

[1252] I feel like at all the things, I'm allowing myself, out of all the things that get me crazy addicted, I'm allowing myself to just fuck with pool.

[1253] Because pool is, I think I get something out of it that I don't get out of video games.

[1254] I get like a body calmness because it's all about like meditating on the distance that the ball is going to go and calming yourself down and putting yourself into a very sensitive state where you're playing.

[1255] I don't get that from video games.

[1256] So when I looked at it objectively, I'm like, Like Joey said, you got addictions.

[1257] You know, you got to pick which is the best one.

[1258] And for me, the best one is pool.

[1259] This is a time last they made up.

[1260] How nice is it to go to a, I mean, I don't even like nice pool halls.

[1261] If I'm going to go to a pool hole, I want to see it for what it is, but I don't want stupidity.

[1262] Like hard times.

[1263] You ever go to hard times with me?

[1264] You ever been a hard times?

[1265] Where have we gone?

[1266] We went to the old Hollywood billiards, which was awesome.

[1267] Right.

[1268] We went to a place in New York City.

[1269] God, I missed that place.

[1270] Ten years ago, three years ago.

[1271] in Manhattan, then we went somewhere else.

[1272] That was Chelsea.

[1273] We went to Chelsea Billiards.

[1274] That was Chelsea Billiards after, yeah, yeah.

[1275] Chelsea Billiards after, I think it had already changed names.

[1276] Chelsea Billiards was the legendary place.

[1277] Like sometimes you'll see me wear this jacket.

[1278] It's like a varsity jacket.

[1279] It says Chelsea Billiards in the back.

[1280] You've seen that.

[1281] That at all -time great pool halls for pool hustlers and action, that's the greatest, or one of the greatest, next to hard times in California, one of the greatest in the history of the world.

[1282] That place was a 24 -hour pool hall where half the people in there you'd go at 3 o 'clock in the morning half the people in there were vagrants that could rob you I mean rob you playing pool They could get out Homeless dudes who knew how to fuck them get out They knew how to play safe You knew how fuck you up They would get you on those tables Especially what they would call a gaff table There's a table where one pocket rolls to the right And if you know that pocket rolls to the right You can put someone in a position Where they don't think they can make the ball But they can and you know it Little shit things Like you can scratch on shots where you don't think you can.

[1283] If you know a table, especially what they call a gaff table, it's huge, very important if you're a pool player.

[1284] The home team advantage.

[1285] It would just rob people.

[1286] They would rob people.

[1287] But there was also like really high stakes gambling between like high level pros too.

[1288] Really interesting stuff to watch.

[1289] Both the drunks getting robbed and then, you know, by the hustlers.

[1290] And then the real big sharks come in and they would, you know, match up and put the money on the light.

[1291] And, you know, you're in the middle of fucking New York City, dude.

[1292] It's 4 o 'clock in the morning.

[1293] dudes are playing for $10 ,000.

[1294] And when you're a kid and you're watching that, you know, it's some exciting shit.

[1295] That was a part for me. It was like being a part of this really rare underground society that I knew was not going to last very long.

[1296] Like I'm like, this crazy 24 -hour pool hall life where people were players and they're gambling, they're bringing their own money, and they're matching up and barking at each other.

[1297] You ain't got no heart.

[1298] And they're fucking, and that's a crazy underground world.

[1299] These guys were making a living, paying their bills completely off the grid.

[1300] No taxes.

[1301] No one's no taxes.

[1302] Stop, stop, stop, stop.

[1303] I'm staying at this fucking boarding house down the street.

[1304] I'm in the house with 10 other dudes.

[1305] I got my pool queue.

[1306] I put it under my blanket when I sleep.

[1307] I get up in the morning and I go down to Chelsea.

[1308] And you're like, whoa.

[1309] These guys were living there.

[1310] They were getting an education in this gangster life at this 24 -hour pool hall.

[1311] I know several dudes who got arrested while I was playing there.

[1312] One dude who was a three -card Monty champion.

[1313] He was a bad motherfucker at three -card money.

[1314] He's a slick Puerto Rican dude.

[1315] He would go out and he just, have all these dumb white people from Nebraska that had never been to New York City before and he would be doing this three card money shit and this is all before the internet and they couldn't you know, they would come on right up here, sir you look like a winner, you look like you know how to play a game my friend come on over here dog how much money you got on you my friend my friend where you're from you got a beautiful suit that's a beautiful is that almani what is that bro yo that's beautiful hey listen man this is a game called three card money we just like to have a little fun here in New York City especially people come in for the first time no it's real simple they're sure it's real simple it is Here's the thing right of it.

[1316] And now they're giving it to you, Duncan.

[1317] They give it.

[1318] Guess it.

[1319] I'll give you a couple free ones.

[1320] Guess it.

[1321] There it is.

[1322] Bam, there you go.

[1323] You would have just wanted some money.

[1324] And also there's a partner next one.

[1325] So how do we do it?

[1326] You see the partner getting closer than in.

[1327] Yeah, I got the black thing right.

[1328] He had a pee.

[1329] And Duncan, he's showing it to you.

[1330] And the next thing you know, Duncan, it all goes to hell.

[1331] Well, there's the cops, and there's also three card money.

[1332] There's the cups where you're trying to figure out.

[1333] Well, whatever, there's a free card money.

[1334] All of a sudden the 20 goes down.

[1335] And the guy wins.

[1336] And the next 20 goes down again.

[1337] his money.

[1338] And that's it.

[1339] Now he gets the guy from Nebraska to come in and throw 40 and he even wins.

[1340] And the wife is like, do it again, do it again, because everybody wants to come to New York.

[1341] Well, you ever seen a guy try to walk away with the one victory?

[1342] Yeah.

[1343] Yo, they will attack you.

[1344] So what they do is, they'll get that table going.

[1345] This is a table, Duncan.

[1346] So right there, they'd have two guys sucked in and one of their own.

[1347] So you'd be working with me. And you're 20, you'd be doubling up.

[1348] You're already won 120.

[1349] But I know I got three people in the audience and hypnotizing.

[1350] And I'm letting them know they're going to win.

[1351] They just come to New York.

[1352] You know what?

[1353] I got $200 in my pocket.

[1354] If I double it, that's $400.

[1355] I mean, this is how you're thinking right there.

[1356] This is a duetized situation.

[1357] And all of a sudden, right there when they got you.

[1358] Boom, the black, bam!

[1359] They take up $1 ,200.

[1360] The Puerto Rican yells the police, and they take their money and three tourists are like, what the fuck?

[1361] And they're gone?

[1362] Just happened.

[1363] Hey!

[1364] And the guy's got a carton?

[1365] Like a bottom of a carton for cans, and he just throws it up in the end.

[1366] That's it.

[1367] That's their residence.

[1368] It's a carton.

[1369] The three cups are gone and their beans in their fucking mouth and they're walking on the street and there ain't no fucking cops.

[1370] And they're all gone in different directions.

[1371] And that's it.

[1372] And now they hook up again and I will lay at the same place and they do that same scam again.

[1373] They would do that five times, made six grand.

[1374] That's how good it was.

[1375] I got caught one one day with a buddy of mine.

[1376] They took me for a 20.

[1377] The guy was yelling at me. Next you know the guys I was with laid out 20.

[1378] A piece.

[1379] Bam, 60 bucks.

[1380] And next you know, boom, the police.

[1381] They blow a whistle.

[1382] What's going on here?

[1383] The cops, everybody runs.

[1384] They got your money.

[1385] They got your money.

[1386] Fucking tremendous, man. You know, when you made that turn on 42nd Street, it was, when you were 13, like 12, it was something that Ari says that when you walk around today, you walk past people, you know, and all of a sudden, like, they're under their breath, they'll go weed.

[1387] And, like, five feet, you look around, you know, look at you, and all of them they come back up to you, it was completely different.

[1388] When you cut that corner on 42nd Street, Duncan, you'd hear every drug in the world, world.

[1389] Weed, marijuana, T .H .C. joints.

[1390] Loose joints.

[1391] Acid.

[1392] Acid.

[1393] That's acid in Spanish.

[1394] Acido.

[1395] Fucking acid.

[1396] Fucking.

[1397] Marijuana.

[1398] Heroin.

[1399] Cocaine.

[1400] Perico.

[1401] Fucking.

[1402] Fucking.

[1403] A different.

[1404] If I was stupid rich, like Bill Gates rich.

[1405] I would buy Chelsea Billiards and I would reinstate it.

[1406] I would bring it back.

[1407] I'd make it 24 hours a day.

[1408] I'd make it the last bastion of the poolhouse is it open it's like some faux pool hall now where they have like red cloth and fucking shiny lights and they play horrible music that makes you want to throw up if you go to a pool hall and not playing classic rock turn around turn around and leave just if you walk in if you don't hear some leonard skinnered some arrowsmith if you don't hear sweet home alabama get out of there because they got red cloth and you're playing on buckets and no one's leveled these fucking tables it's a disaster it's not real pool.

[1409] And the only dinner you could get is an old hamburger or a fucking bag of fries.

[1410] The place that I used to play out in White Plains, New Jersey, or White Plains, New York got turned into a disco.

[1411] It's basically a disco now.

[1412] It was executive billiards.

[1413] Executive billiards in White Plains.

[1414] Right down the street from Nicky's Pizza, the greatest white pizza the earth has ever known.

[1415] If you want to get off your gluten -free diet, go to fucking White Plains, New York, go to Nicky's Pizza and get the White Pizza.

[1416] It's got white cheese on it, ricotta cheese with garlic and olive oil, and it will knock your dick right into the cat litter box.

[1417] It's unfuck -un -un -believably good.

[1418] That sounds bad.

[1419] It's better than dick in the dirt.

[1420] I was struggling for a metaphor.

[1421] Tick in a cat litter box.

[1422] It's better than your dick in a pile of cat shit and piss.

[1423] Those crumbs sticking to the tip of your helmet.

[1424] The place was like a great place back in the day in the 90s.

[1425] That was the spot.

[1426] Like pool hustlers would come in from all over the world.

[1427] They would come, like, they would make stops.

[1428] In New York, if they were in the New York area, there was a few places they would play.

[1429] And one of them was they would always check in an executive.

[1430] And if you were, like, my buddy owned the place, so he'd be on the phone, you know, and they'd get a call.

[1431] You know, in like the middle of the day, you know, he's polishing balls and shit.

[1432] And he'd get a call that Jake the Snake is in town.

[1433] You know, this is dude, Jake the Snake, who played one pocket, and you'd come down.

[1434] And, you know, they would call George the Greek.

[1435] This guy wants to play one pocket away.

[1436] This motherfucker's got no hot.

[1437] And then everybody would meet up at the pool hall at like 10 o 'clock at night, and you'd see The dude practicing, knocking balls around the table, like, oh, shit, it's going down.

[1438] And they would put this big stack of money.

[1439] And there was this Guido gangster dude who was always there who had a gun just in case somebody tried to rob the steak.

[1440] It was a fucking crazy place to be a part of.

[1441] Sounds cool.

[1442] It was fucking, it was Runyon -esque.

[1443] It was a movie.

[1444] I mean, it was like a crazy movie about the depression, except there was no depression.

[1445] It was just going to diners and watching guys gamble their life away.

[1446] And me being a visitor in the world.

[1447] I was not really a player.

[1448] I couldn't play that good.

[1449] I played okay.

[1450] Like for a regular person, I played amazing.

[1451] But for these guys, I would play, and I would always lose.

[1452] And I've never, I won, like, one or two tournaments ever.

[1453] Most of the time I would lose.

[1454] I'd have to get really lucky to win.

[1455] So I got the chance to see these people who lived entirely off of this one crazy game.

[1456] That's all they did.

[1457] All they talked about was the different conditions of the cloth and what kind of chalk are you using and what fucking tip are you got?

[1458] You got a sniper on this motherfucker?

[1459] Or when did you get the sniper?

[1460] Is that better?

[1461] And everybody's trying to constantly figure it out an edge because they're playing a game where their life, whether they eat or no. Whether they go hungry, whether they have money for a hotel room, it's all based on fractions of an inch, whether a ball rolls slightly to the left too far or bumps the other ball and gets in the perfect position.

[1462] The fucking differences between those things are the tiniest fraction on the cue ball of where you hit it, and they're obsessed with it, obsessed with the movements, and just trying to live off those movements.

[1463] That gives me an anxiety attack.

[1464] It's madness.

[1465] But it's also beautiful.

[1466] When you watch it done right, it's an art form.

[1467] That's what people don't understand about the game.

[1468] When people say, oh, you're fucking boring.

[1469] You talk about pool.

[1470] It's just so fucking boring.

[1471] To me, it's not.

[1472] Trust me. When you, it's one of those things, when you appreciate it, when you know how difficult it is to do, then it becomes an art form.

[1473] Like Starcraft.

[1474] It becomes like a ballet.

[1475] Exactly.

[1476] Exactly.

[1477] When you talk about Starcraft, I go blank.

[1478] Because I have no point of reference.

[1479] I don't understand the game.

[1480] I've never tried to.

[1481] I'm terrified of it.

[1482] I see you.

[1483] I see you fucking start sweating.

[1484] When you talk about it, I see your face starts sunken in like your body's trying to conserve water.

[1485] I've quit.

[1486] Because you know you're not going to be.

[1487] Your body, you say StarCraft and your body goes into like the hibernative state where it knows it's not going to get nutrition for the next six hours.

[1488] You really stay up for three days, don't you?

[1489] I quit.

[1490] I didn't quit because of the addiction.

[1491] I quit because they demoted me to bronze league again i'm not dealing with that shit anymore i'm like number 75 in bronze league i'd made it up to the silver listen man your ego reveals you my brother why do you give a fuck if you're in bronze league because it's you be in bronze league joe it's an insult i wouldn't even be in bronze league i'm getting beaten by toddlers i would be in aluminum it means that i'm playing against fourth graders who are crushing me that's all right at least you're playing against somebody no it's a you ageist it's a young man's sport.

[1492] You're an agriest, patriarchal asshole.

[1493] Your male ageist privilege is showing.

[1494] You basically hate women.

[1495] Put it in your blog.

[1496] I don't care.

[1497] You basically hate women.

[1498] I'm going to have to blog about you, Duncan Trussell.

[1499] You hate women and you're an ageist.

[1500] I love women.

[1501] I hate Bronzley.

[1502] I don't say I love women.

[1503] You know what I say?

[1504] I love nice women.

[1505] I don't say I love men either.

[1506] There's a lot of men that are cunts.

[1507] A lot of men suck.

[1508] Remember when we were talking about Bigfoot, somebody actually killed him.

[1509] They didn't just kill one.

[1510] Oh, don't show that.

[1511] That's a spoiler.

[1512] Don't spoil it, dude.

[1513] That's a spoiler.

[1514] Hey, don't spoil it.

[1515] Duncan thinks it's important and not spoiler.

[1516] I'm not looking at.

[1517] Show it to me offline.

[1518] He's not.

[1519] Instead of, oh, you son of a bitch.

[1520] Behind doesn't even care.

[1521] This is insubordination.

[1522] If this was any other company, if he was not, he was working for any other company besides the Death Quad, affiliated company like the freak party.

[1523] Sit here right here he gets him.

[1524] I don't give a fuck, bro.

[1525] I don't want to see him shoot Bigfoot.

[1526] Probably a man. Oh, look.

[1527] Oh, he's a son.

[1528] So sad.

[1529] Shoot me, human.

[1530] Yeah, that is sad.

[1531] Let's put it something happy to balance this out.

[1532] Pull up the Godzilla trailer.

[1533] Oh, dude, they have Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad Gita in it.

[1534] Ah, wonderful.

[1535] Brilliant.

[1536] Find it.

[1537] You've got to find it's on Daily Motion.

[1538] It's on my Twitter.

[1539] If you go to my Twitter, it's one of the most recent posts.

[1540] But it's the trailer for the new Godzilla.

[1541] And oh, motherfucker, does this look good?

[1542] I can't wait to see it.

[1543] I got a three -quarter staff just watching the first 10 seconds of the trailer.

[1544] I didn't even know what you saw.

[1545] like, oh, they're doing it right, they're doing it right.

[1546] It's not out.

[1547] Apparently, it's a concept, and they're building it right now, but it's a Warner Brothers, what do you say, a property?

[1548] Check this shit out, son.

[1549] Are you giving full attention?

[1550] Yeah.

[1551] You knew the world would not be the same.

[1552] Few people cried, but we're silent.

[1553] Look at this shit.

[1554] We're looking at smashed buildings.

[1555] You could find it online, folks.

[1556] You can't stop the internet.

[1557] You can't take pee out of the ocean.

[1558] Hindu script trip Tower 7 I don't know why they're trying to remove this For some reason Like it's on YouTube sites It's pulled down You know what that is That's some ancient dumbass thinking That's some executives that don't get Show us this motherfucker Come death The Destroyer of Worlds Listen if that doesn't get your dick hard Move to France Alright Just go Get the fuck out of America If that doesn't get your dick hard quit meanwhile Japanese invented Godzilla by the way this is a parody of a really racist nationalistic American comes out in 2014 god damn that looks good well just the attitude that they have in creating that clip when you talk you know you got Oppenheimer talking about the Bhagavad Gita when they're Aubenheimer for folks who don't know is the guy who like was the most critical aspect the Manhattan Project was a huge project obviously but the most critical aspect was Oppenheimer and he's credited as being the guy who figured out how to make a fucking atomic bomb.

[1559] Yeah, that fucking, that is an incredible verse, man. I have become death, the destroyer of worlds.

[1560] That is so badass.

[1561] Dude.

[1562] That's really cool.

[1563] Yeah, that's going to be intense.

[1564] So, Bigfoot's dead, and there you go.

[1565] There's a bunch of people who say they've found Bigfoot this week.

[1566] There's a new video of Bigfoot.

[1567] And we won't even show it because I'm not going to fucking insult you.

[1568] The shit is ridiculous.

[1569] That's not it, dude.

[1570] This is more.

[1571] That ain't even Bigfoot.

[1572] Bigfoot doesn't have tities like that.

[1573] Oh, shit.

[1574] Is this Grand Theft Auto?

[1575] Oh, Bigfoot's got a mask.

[1576] This is fucking a huge spoiler, dude.

[1577] Stop.

[1578] Why don't you do that?

[1579] Brian, that's so rude.

[1580] I hope somebody actually just used the Grand Theft Auto engine to create that, and it wasn't real.

[1581] This is the sleeping Bigfoot.

[1582] And it's a female.

[1583] How do they know it's a female?

[1584] Well, they smell this pussy.

[1585] They smell a pussy a mile away.

[1586] It smelled like a tuna that got hit with a musket.

[1587] It's fucking lying out there in the middle of the woods.

[1588] What do you think it's sad?

[1589] It must be a female.

[1590] A male can't smell that fishy.

[1591] What is that?

[1592] This is a piece of...

[1593] Baby Bigfoot.

[1594] Shit that they found.

[1595] Yeah, that's mountain line shit.

[1596] It's got elk hair in it.

[1597] Dumb cunts, I'll tell you right now.

[1598] I've only been hunting for a year.

[1599] I can tell you what the fuck that is.

[1600] I might be wrong, by the way.

[1601] I'm very confident.

[1602] But don't mistake that for being accurate.

[1603] Yeah.

[1604] This is ridiculous.

[1605] Well, these people are crazy as fuck.

[1606] Todd Disotel, who's a professor at NYU, who we had on that podcast.

[1607] If there's one thing that we answered on the Joe Rogan questions everything, it's not whether or not Bigfoot is real, but it's whether or not the evidence that has been purported to be Bigfoot DNA has been acquired in the most non -contaminated way.

[1608] And that answer is clearly no. There's not a direct chain of command between finding this and documenting the fact these guys wore rubber gloves, they had masks on, they picked this up with tweezers.

[1609] When you find human DNA, it's a...

[1610] amazing how easy it is for humans to get DNA on shit now.

[1611] They can get DNA.

[1612] If you sneeze, if you breathe, if you touch something with your sweaty skin, you get human DNA on things.

[1613] It's incredible how sensitive these pieces of equipment are.

[1614] So when you get some fucking piece of shit that a hunter found in the woods, this is a squatch turd.

[1615] Squatch came by a shit on my elk carcass.

[1616] You don't know what the fuck happened before that thing got to you.

[1617] And when you start testing it, it's very irresponsible scientifically.

[1618] So whether or not these people are telling the truth, I believe they are.

[1619] I believe they really believe that it's a big foot turd.

[1620] Whether or not or hair or whatever the fuck they claim they have or many pieces of evidence they claim they have.

[1621] The real problem is all of them have been extracted from the crime scenes unscientifically.

[1622] So me, as executive producer, Duncan Trussle's co -host of Joe Rogan Questions Everything, we say, go fuck yourself.

[1623] That's she ain't real, son.

[1624] That's a fucking chick with a Sasquatch costume on.

[1625] You say that?

[1626] I really don't think anyone thinks.

[1627] it's real though even the news when they showed it on their news they were like oh here we go again oh that's not true i saw some dummies that were being interviewed that seemed like they really believed in it that's so there was a few dummies i really think they acted like they believed in it i don't know the answer man that's what that's what i learned from the show is i just i have no fucking idea and i and and anytime i think i know something it always turns out to be something wrong and generally if i let myself just be in the state of not knowing it things get a lot more interesting anyway.

[1628] I don't know there's a big foot.

[1629] There could be a big foot anywhere.

[1630] There could be underground.

[1631] They could live in the earth like hornets in a hive.

[1632] You know what's more likely than Bigfoot?

[1633] Is that little tiny person thing?

[1634] That oaring pendek.

[1635] That's more likely.

[1636] They found these motherfuckers 14 ,000 years old, Joey.

[1637] Three feet tall, Hobbit dudes.

[1638] They had spears.

[1639] They might have, like, actually, like...

[1640] They found them.

[1641] They found them on the island of Flores.

[1642] They're called the Homo Floriancese, or something something like that.

[1643] They were alive 14 ,000 years ago.

[1644] They ain't shit.

[1645] And they have legends about these little people who could fly, or they rode birds or something.

[1646] Can you imagine?

[1647] How about those giant fucking...

[1648] They figured out how to fucking kidnap eagles.

[1649] How about those giant wasps?

[1650] Insane.

[1651] Killing people in China.

[1652] And by the way, this was like a week after we were talking about wasps on a podcast with Josh Barnett.

[1653] Josh Barnett's obsessed with wasps.

[1654] How crazy gangster wasps are?

[1655] And they could just fucking, they kill everything.

[1656] They kill tarantulas.

[1657] There's videos of wasps fucking.

[1658] up tarantulas?

[1659] Because wasps can keep stinging.

[1660] Have you ever been stung by a wasp?

[1661] They can kill you.

[1662] No, I haven't.

[1663] I have.

[1664] It is awful.

[1665] The ones in, you're seeing, these Chinese ones or Japanese ones, these are giant.

[1666] Oh, yeah.

[1667] These are enormous wasps.

[1668] Their stingers are like hypodermic needles, man. They're just punching holes in Chinese.

[1669] Well, they're the size of a small mouse.

[1670] Look that.

[1671] It's the size of that guy's hand, or a girl's hand.

[1672] Gow.

[1673] Should we say gal?

[1674] I don't want to offend anybody.

[1675] You can say lass.

[1676] Lass.

[1677] Young maiden.

[1678] I think it's a dude.

[1679] I hope whoever they are, they're not sensitive.

[1680] I'm so tired of people and being so needy.

[1681] Can you imagine getting swarmed by one of those things?

[1682] Well, they've killed 42 people and injured 160 plus in China over the past, you know, the past few months.

[1683] Fuck.

[1684] Well, they don't know what's going on, but they're fucking huge.

[1685] I know what's going on.

[1686] A portals opened up to hell, and those things are climbing out of it.

[1687] The apocalypse is a slow -moving event.

[1688] It's glacier -like.

[1689] it's not like an asteroid.

[1690] The apocalypse.

[1691] There's no apocalypse.

[1692] Listen, cock -sucker.

[1693] You want to smell my ass?

[1694] That's the apocalypse.

[1695] I'll pull my pants down.

[1696] I'll unleash that in and out double -double in your face.

[1697] Speaking to the fucking apocalypse, man. I got a fucking Oculus Rift waiting in my house right now.

[1698] Don't panic.

[1699] Don't get sweaty.

[1700] I got to get back.

[1701] You're sweaty, man. Why are you sweaty?

[1702] You're not going anywhere.

[1703] You're hanging out to the end of this podcast.

[1704] Where am I going?

[1705] There's people that are listening to this depend on you.

[1706] Don't be so selfish.

[1707] Don't get caught up in the wave of Selfishness that is addiction I wasn't going to abandon Oh it's not addiction It's going into an alternate universe That's not addiction I want to see Skyrim in 3D Riders on the storm Wow Oh my god Fuck that Oh my god Those are like puppies There's a photo of a guy or a gal With four of these giant hornets You really do need to know if it's like a Shaquillo -O -Neal -sized hand or if it's like a baby's hand yeah small let's put all these lester like little lester's hands little lester has some tiny little lester has a tiny hornet riders on the storm DC trussle what happened what did I miss you putting it in you taking those babies and getting them killed by hornets in your game you can't there's no game of your mind if you had one though if you had a baby that was alone in the crib like the mom mom was on meth and the mom fell asleep in the game and was right next to the baby passed out but a window opened up and a hornet figured out its way through would you allow all the hornets to come in and kill the baby just so you could see what it would be like this is like uh this is like what was that was that movie with harrison ford total not total recall blade runner these are like questions these are the questions you ask an android to make them start malfunctioning that's exactly what i'm doing a turtle's laying on its back its legs are waving in the air it can't i'm trying to figure out whether the a tortoise what's a tortoise it's a turtle i'm trying to figure out whether the uncomfortable moments and the the the animosity that you've faced in your life has turned you irreversibly towards the dark side i'm trying to figure out whether they can seduce you to the force you're you are saying that if i was to let hornets attack a digitized baby i would be evil well that you would want to experience that what about if you had the options between hornets and a slew of Bikini, pageant, contest, entrance, blowing the kid.

[1708] Let me tell you something, man. Have you ever played Fallout 3?

[1709] No. The game where you wander through the apocalypse in Fallout 3?

[1710] Well, there's a mission in Fallout 3, where there's a little, like, commune of orphans who are living in some kind of cave.

[1711] One of the missions is, and in a part of this world, there's like a compound of slavers.

[1712] so you can bring them people you can sell people to slavery there and one of the missions built into this game is you go into that fucking compound of kids kidnap one and bring it back to these slavers to do whatever the fuck they're going to do to the kid and they give you some weird special executioners mask that gives you powers and that's encoded into the fucking game so that's what's weird about video games is there's this like people will do awful shit in video games You would too.

[1713] Oh, I wouldn't.

[1714] You would un - Yeah, I would.

[1715] That's why I wouldn't do it.

[1716] No, I wouldn't do that.

[1717] In a video game.

[1718] I probably would on you, you know, like, if I had an option, you know, if you could, like, pick, who would want, you know, who you'd want, like, if you could take, like, a public figure, you know.

[1719] Like, who, think of someone who really annoys you.

[1720] Some, I don't even, don't even mention a name.

[1721] Let's just take some horrible, foreign dictator type character.

[1722] Yes.

[1723] Some, cony.

[1724] Whatever happened to Connie?

[1725] Boy, did there, is there a fucking cause that one?

[1726] away any quicker than that Coney 2012 thing all you got to do is whip your dick out and run around the street beating off and then it doesn't matter how many babies die in Africa everybody's like it's this fucking this topic is over he went to Oprah did he he went on Oprah didn't he became a Christian and shit well the guy was in the middle of the fucking street beating off in San Diego the guy who like started this organization and put the whole thing together you can see if you can find that video right it's it's whatever it's caused by I don't go fuck it's there's a lot of kinds of stress in this world this one type of trust it's called fighting off the gay DCT in the house what did you think when this whole thing went down this guy got arrested and then he was beating off the middle street that makes sense right totally makes sense no I thought it was something even deeper than that man I thought it was some kind of attack from the guy in mind on him because he was ripping people off I don't know if he was for sure but I was suspicious of him and so I thought that it had reached this like psychic some kind of psychic magnitude of negativity just swirl down on him and temporarily exposed him to the world and this is somebody that maybe isn't reliable or somebody that you shouldn't be sending money to.

[1727] I don't know exactly how they were using the money that they were getting but I know a great many charities legally they only have to...

[1728] There he is.

[1729] Look at them.

[1730] You're totally right by the way.

[1731] I hate to interrupt you there.

[1732] But you're totally right.

[1733] This is him walking around naked and the old man behind him.

[1734] They're in San Diego.

[1735] It's all like ex -military and shit down there.

[1736] They're like, son of a bitch, I start on the beaches of Yiwo Jima.

[1737] And you fucking cocksucker running around my neighborhood showing your dick to my wife, I'll fucking kill you.

[1738] But this is something...

[1739] You're right, though.

[1740] What is that?

[1741] It's about this.

[1742] It's about this.

[1743] Yeah, it's South Park's song about this.

[1744] Oh, South Park had a song about it?

[1745] That's called Wacking It in San Diego.

[1746] By the way, if you watched this season of South Park, brilliant shit, man. I got to get back on the South Park horse.

[1747] I heard they're going after everybody.

[1748] School shooting God bless them God bless them When you're someone like South Park That has that kind of power The way they use it Is so just Yes They wield the fucking Almighty sword Of retribution Of comedy Of Of ethics They're just right They're right So many times I never disagree with them Cut to Them shitting on me Did you see the book of Mormon?

[1749] I loved it Yeah I saw it I haven't seen it It's great I mean I'm not into musicals So for me to love it, it shows how good it was.

[1750] I hear it's really fun.

[1751] Yeah, I was way lit when I went to see it, too.

[1752] It's really, it's a really interesting thing that they're so, like, they're so prolific.

[1753] They do that show every week and somehow they manage to find time to develop not just a musical, but a really good one.

[1754] Yeah.

[1755] And it just makes you go, God, I'm such a lazy bitch.

[1756] As Duncan thinks about how much time Oculus Rift is going to chew out of his life.

[1757] Shit, that's a thing, man. You know, I understand the lazy bitch theory, but fuck, like, what are we supposed to be doing on this planet if not burrowing into the imagination and digitally experience alternate realities for the first, something that's for the first time in human history has happened?

[1758] It's a brand new experience.

[1759] What am I supposed to do?

[1760] Go to some fucking pool hall and bet $15.

[1761] Joe, just let him know what the fuck's wrong with what he just said.

[1762] I have no idea.

[1763] I have no fucking idea because I'm looking at him.

[1764] I know he's a brilliant dude, so you'll go home.

[1765] right now, and when will you be outside and daylight again?

[1766] The truth, because I know there's times years ago, you disappeared.

[1767] Depends on if there's daylight in the Oculus Rift land that I visit.

[1768] So if you're set up tonight, you shut your phone, lock the door, hide the window.

[1769] Hide the window.

[1770] Cut to new headlines.

[1771] Young gamers finding Oculus Rift makes their body produce vitamin D without the sun, exclamation point.

[1772] It actually triggers it.

[1773] You don't need something.

[1774] Sunlight.

[1775] Listen, you first worlders are all stuck on your fucking sun and the light.

[1776] When will you see the sun again?

[1777] When you see light?

[1778] It's all about...

[1779] Look, this guy.

[1780] Yeah.

[1781] That's...

[1782] And this omnidirectional treadmill.

[1783] I got to get one of those.

[1784] Do you know what wants to fuck that guy, though?

[1785] No one.

[1786] No one wants to fuck that guy.

[1787] Someone wants to fuck you, Duncan.

[1788] Take advantage of that.

[1789] Look, see, what does he have on the wall?

[1790] Big girl with giant tits that will never have sex with them voluntarily, unless her rent is late.

[1791] You know, man, I think there might be a great many people out there who aren't being fucked at this moment.

[1792] Why shouldn't they get to run on a treadmill and experience some magical weird realm?

[1793] I think they should, but I find it shocking that the first incarnations of it involve violence and not sex.

[1794] The first incarnations of this...

[1795] No, my friend put on Oculus Rift porn.

[1796] He says that you look down and you see your dick.

[1797] Yeah, but what are we looking at right here?

[1798] We're looking at violence.

[1799] This is they aren't patriot.

[1800] We're looking at dudes with guns.

[1801] when they're running around they're hiding behind barrels they're trying to snipe on people they're being assholes so like you know when you give a squeaky toy to a dog oh boy do I and you realize that that squeak is the sound of an animal dying and that's why they like the squeak because that sound the sound I never thought about that until right now that's what it is so so like you know your sweet little dogs chewing on this thing it's squeaking just like an animal would if it were biting it well that's what these games are for humans they're squeak toys they like let humans experience the you know, aggressive side that exists in all people.

[1802] You know, there's this thing where people are always shocked, like, to think that we're using this for violence.

[1803] But it's like, look what we are.

[1804] I think it's cathartic.

[1805] Yeah, it's cathartic.

[1806] I think it's cathartic and it helps people, you know, get out aggression or just experience, like, you know, bizarre states of being.

[1807] Joe, you don't fuck with games, period.

[1808] You've never fucked with games except pool when you're, when, you know, you were at the bar when you were a young kid.

[1809] I'm a What's, I don't even know the fucking name of it with the maze and shit If I'm a maze?

[1810] Crossword puzzles Pac -Man, Pac -Man, I'm a Pac -Man dude If I go, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, these machines now, these machines now, they're talking all those games.

[1811] They put Miss Pac -Man, Pac -Man, Pac -Man, doing with the missiles, they didn't, the ones that, you know, start from scratch, all that shit.

[1812] I watch pawn stars, too.

[1813] I know this.

[1814] Born stars.

[1815] They fucking sell those games.

[1816] So it's a man. They always has one.

[1817] They sell it to a bar.

[1818] Oh, they have it at a desk squad.

[1819] The guy that sent those 4K TVs.

[1820] He sent us one, like a big arcade and it has like 500 games on it.

[1821] Is that called maim?

[1822] Is that what that is?

[1823] I think it's a maim technology.

[1824] Do you know that people think that I'm a fucking Nazi because of that stupid zombie robot?

[1825] People are so stupid.

[1826] There's so many people that are like looking to find some sort of crazy conspiratorial connection.

[1827] Yes.

[1828] That they've decided that because at Bryan's studio, at the ice house, which, by the way, I have zero.

[1829] Zero input in how he designs.

[1830] He just does it himself.

[1831] I'm not a control freak.

[1832] And Brian has a fucking zombie that this dude...

[1833] Do you remember Homeboy's name?

[1834] Yeah, let me find it real quick.

[1835] Dude's a...

[1836] He makes those for movies.

[1837] You know, like that movie, Dead Snow.

[1838] Did you see Dead Snow?

[1839] I don't think I saw it.

[1840] Great fucking movie.

[1841] Stupid as shit, but great.

[1842] And it's all about zombies that were...

[1843] They were Nazis and somehow another.

[1844] they became zombies.

[1845] He got frozen up in the fucking South Pole or some shit.

[1846] And these people are out there.

[1847] They're camping out and the zombies come and get him.

[1848] The Nazi zombies.

[1849] It's hilariously stupid.

[1850] So he has one of the zombies from Dead Snow.

[1851] It's a fucking movie.

[1852] Okay?

[1853] He's got this zombie at his studio.

[1854] And I get all these messages from people that are saying, yeah, I always knew that he had a problem with Jews.

[1855] That's why he's got a zombie at his studio that has a swastika on.

[1856] Joey's falling asleep.

[1857] What?

[1858] I'm not falling asleep.

[1859] you falling asleep.

[1860] Joey had his eyes closed.

[1861] He was like this.

[1862] I'm a dick a nap.

[1863] No one's ever going to know.

[1864] You wake up early.

[1865] Joey wakes up.

[1866] I'll wake up and like look on Twitter and Joey's been tweeting since 4 .30 a. When I go to bed, we change off.

[1867] We have strip.

[1868] You know, you ever see that cartoon where there's a sheep dog and the coyote?

[1869] Yeah.

[1870] And they meet.

[1871] I'm the coyote.

[1872] He's a sheep dog.

[1873] We meet morning, Frank.

[1874] Morning Sam.

[1875] We tell you what happened.

[1876] I was doing fine today.

[1877] day was going great, and I stopped at the weed store at about 1230, 1215.

[1878] In the afternoon?

[1879] After you were there last night?

[1880] No, I wasn't there last night.

[1881] The night before last you were there?

[1882] No, no, no, no. Which night?

[1883] Tuesday was when I tweeted the thing.

[1884] I went there this afternoon.

[1885] I went to the one on Lancasham to lock up, they have edibles and reef.

[1886] They got a lot more selection.

[1887] The other place just has strong fucking weed.

[1888] Right.

[1889] This one has a pre -rolled joints of the dynamite.

[1890] And we've got edibles that are dynamite and weed that's dynamite.

[1891] on there this afternoon and shunuch the guy goes hey i got this new thing i want you to try it's a fucking uh little brownie thing and it's just he goes these people always have solid stuff tell me what you think i take a bite out of it and i could tell it was gonna be a ride i could tell i took a bite out of it like a little bite yeah and i'm like wow and also it's been hit me this afternoon but i'm all right these crazy hippies are so inconsistent they're so inconsistent with their product like you'll get a five -x cookie that's not that big a deal yeah and then you get one that makes you think about everything that went wrong from ages three to six.

[1892] You'll see it all play out in front of you.

[1893] Man, I bought one of these chocolate bars and took a little bite of one.

[1894] A tiny, tiny, tiny little bite.

[1895] And I fucking, like, within two hours, you could taste it.

[1896] I'm like, it was when we were having the heat wave.

[1897] I'm so paranoid that I'm like, I'm just going to go fucking jogging.

[1898] I'm going to go jogging and try to see.

[1899] sweat it out.

[1900] I'm running by the L .A. River, look down, see some guy taking his pants off.

[1901] Perfect.

[1902] Do you suck his cock?

[1903] What did it taste like?

[1904] It tasted like river water.

[1905] Tasted like God.

[1906] It's like a brownie.

[1907] I found the perfect dose from me, edible -wise.

[1908] It's L .A. Speedweeds, gummy bears.

[1909] Two gummy bears.

[1910] Perfect.

[1911] Right.

[1912] There's a little confusion when it comes to, like, breast strips, breast trips.

[1913] Breast trips are very tricky.

[1914] I never go with a full breast trip, because you don't know what the fuck.

[1915] It can get too scary.

[1916] But the gummy bears, for some reason, seem to be pretty consistent.

[1917] I think it's how they make gummy bears.

[1918] I don't know, man. Who knows?

[1919] The problem is illegal.

[1920] That's why we have to have this fucking conversation.

[1921] Well, you've got to be careful because, you know, a lot of people, they go and get their prescription, and then they go next door and buy some marijuana brownies, and they think, oh, it's just a brownie.

[1922] I'll eat the whole brownie.

[1923] And then Satan is dragging them by their hair.

[1924] No, this brownie kicked my ass a little couple minutes ago.

[1925] It has been fucking wrestling.

[1926] me i took one bite of it but i knew how it was packaged the whole thing these are real yeah i know these people i'm like wow this is pretty fucking good yeah well you know what i think that it is important and people that hear this and go guys guys are talking too much shit about uh weed and talking about weed brown it really is something that people need to hear they really do unfortunately the eating of the brownie can really fucking be psychologically devastating yeah or the chocolate bar or whatever the any edibles any edibles can really really Fuck your world up.

[1927] Your world up, Jack.

[1928] Yeah, you got to be careful.

[1929] And sometimes, I'll tell you, even like I learned with acupuncture, I never get high before I go to acupuncture because it turns into a complete different realm.

[1930] I feel every needle go into my skin.

[1931] I feel every needle break the skin.

[1932] I can hear it.

[1933] It's like having Spider -Man sense.

[1934] You can hear it.

[1935] You can hear the needles.

[1936] The pop?

[1937] You can just feel them.

[1938] The needle corresponds.

[1939] with your skin.

[1940] When I'm not high, I don't feel that.

[1941] And that's what kills me. That's what stresses me to fuck out.

[1942] Once I feel a little bit of pain from the needle, it shoots up to my brain.

[1943] If I'm straight, I'm fine.

[1944] But if I'm stoned, it takes that little bit of pain and does something else with it.

[1945] And next, you know, I'm having a goddamn anxiety attack.

[1946] Yeah.

[1947] So that's why I've got to be careful with situations like that.

[1948] Well, it's, like I say, about bombing.

[1949] The best I've ever gotten at a stand -up comedy was when of bombed and realized that I need to fucking make some sort of corrections.

[1950] That's the best improvements that I've ever gotten.

[1951] It's similar to the feeling that you get when you eat a brownie or whatever and you freak the fuck out.

[1952] I've been reading this book called the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.

[1953] Have you heard this of this book?

[1954] Who's the other?

[1955] Chakingi.

[1956] Patangeli.

[1957] No. It's Patangeli.

[1958] I didn't know.

[1959] I didn't know.

[1960] But they talk about how the mind, how there's a term called Vritis.

[1961] and vritis is the term for a wave of thought and so like your mind is basically all these waves of thought rolling through it rolling through it each of those are a vriti and those things are sort of you are created by things in the external world or other thoughts or feelings that come into your mind so when you get super high what's happening is you're suddenly amplifying those vritis you're seeing these thought patterns that normally are way under the surface and those thought patterns are it's usually shit you've been ignoring like for me I'll start thinking about like you know well like when I had cancer that's that would come to my mind like shit I'm probably gonna die I might die this could kill me or you know whatever the thing is that you've been trying to ignore or forget about it just will grab your face and push you right into it and so the answer is to just embrace that thing dissolve into it go into it go into it fly into the it's like Dante's Inferno the only way out of hell and Dante's Inferno is by going to the middle and climbing down Satan's leg because Dante never tried to suck Satan's dick if you suck his dick as he comes in your mouth your brain explodes and you appear in the garden of Eden with Eden and she hasn't given the apple to the snake yet Eden's the stripper that lived in the garden whatever whatever name is that the whore that was Eve's friend Eve's like a tramp there's just some like dirty girl who lived there too they never done you don't talk about it because all she did was just clean your ass she had like wet warm towels she would just wipe your ass after you shot in the field Joey stopped you on it and Brian stop video start putting a video on him you're gonna change the whole tone of this fucking show you son of a bitch Jesus Joey Diaz what are you doing this weekend you're making a movie he's way too high I got till the 8th on this thing what is this thing you're doing right now your life has changed no I always do one of these yeah but yeah but yeah but yeah but yeah I was at the fucking the storyteller show the other day Your life has changed No, brother That was a good pricking thing The night wasn't it?

[1962] It was a lot of fun Ari Shafir's Storyteller show This is not happening On Comedycentral .com I had to leave I had to do Kevin and Bean in the morning I had to get out of there But the reaction that you got When you even walked in the building Your life has changed It was rocking over time You're living in a different world And you were living in a couple of years ago No, I'm fine, man I'm still in the same fucking world I know you are But it's interesting to watch man What was the last gig we did together.

[1963] Where the fuck were we?

[1964] Boston?

[1965] Milwaukee.

[1966] One of those.

[1967] Yeah.

[1968] Milwaukee and Boston were both insanity.

[1969] Are you doing another of those dog movies?

[1970] Yeah.

[1971] Which one is this one?

[1972] Are you allowed to say?

[1973] A dog that saved Easter.

[1974] How many times this dog gonna fucking save the world?

[1975] This is the fifth one.

[1976] Gary Valentine Pass.

[1977] Look at you show me. Gary Valentine Pass, so they brought you back?

[1978] No, no, I always come back.

[1979] But you're saying that Gary Valentine passed.

[1980] Guy Valentine passed on this one.

[1981] Wow.

[1982] Dean Kane, this is he took a little pit stop.

[1983] before searching for Bigfoot?

[1984] He's got a new show.

[1985] He's got a new show on Spike with my pal, Todd Dissotel.

[1986] They go searching for Bigfoot.

[1987] Brian, what's the girl's makeup?

[1988] What's that?

[1989] Is that what it was?

[1990] They dress you up like a girl?

[1991] You know why?

[1992] Do you know why?

[1993] Because they're scared of you, just like they do with black men.

[1994] No, no. What, my Ada?

[1995] Think about it.

[1996] All the black men, they dress up like women?

[1997] That was the third movie we did.

[1998] Yeah.

[1999] That never dressed me up like a woman again.

[2000] Dave Chappelle had a whole speech that he did on one of those talk shows about it about, man, why is it when black man gets famous?

[2001] They always try to dress him a little girl.

[2002] It's true.

[2003] Eddie Murphy, think about all the different people.

[2004] Jamie Fox.

[2005] Think about all the different people that are dressed at Keene and Ivory Wayans.

[2006] Think about all the different people.

[2007] Big, strong black men, and it's hilarious.

[2008] They dress up like women.

[2009] Why, Joe Diaz?

[2010] Why did they do it to you?

[2011] Because they've seen your dick online.

[2012] That's what it is.

[2013] They've seen the Cuban egg roll floating out there like the Death Star Deep Space.

[2014] What's wrong with you?

[2015] You know what I'm saying?

[2016] We're over here.

[2017] I'm stone to the gills.

[2018] I got Duncan to the right of me, red band to the left of me, you got to be over here, you know.

[2019] Duncan, when are you jumping back into the comedy world again?

[2020] This Saturday, I'll be at the comedy store.

[2021] Oh, good.

[2022] Googly -moogly.

[2023] What time, cocksucker?

[2024] 11, 1045.

[2025] Oh, shit.

[2026] That's something about that place, right?

[2027] Still, to this day.

[2028] Yes.

[2029] Exotic, exotic place.

[2030] Isn't that where fucking hobo made his debut?

[2031] That's exactly where he made his first.

[2032] I'm saying, who's hobo?

[2033] Who's a hobo?

[2034] Hey, you forgot about me. What's the new hobo like?

[2035] I don't, I've retired hobo.

[2036] Shut the fuck up.

[2037] Why would you do that when it's on video?

[2038] That's why.

[2039] Why does everything have to be on video?

[2040] Because the other people should enjoy it too.

[2041] Well, you developed with something that was really beautiful.

[2042] That was real.

[2043] Well, you know the problem?

[2044] There's a technical problem, which is that it uses a Pink Floyd song.

[2045] And I'm super doubt that if I email then, they're going to be like, yeah, you could use one of the most famous songs on Earth for your comedy album.

[2046] Uh, guess what?

[2047] What?

[2048] That's a small part of that bit.

[2049] Very small.

[2050] That's not even one -tenth of one percent of that bit.

[2051] But that's...

[2052] But that bit is...

[2053] I don't want to say it anymore, because I don't want it to be a spoiler.

[2054] You don't need that song, dude.

[2055] That's silly.

[2056] But I feel, you know, like, the next time I go back out in the road, I don't think I can bring a little hobo.

[2057] Talk to him Joey Diaz.

[2058] Tell him to put that fucking shit down on wax.

[2059] I can't keep doing it, though.

[2060] You can't keep doing something.

[2061] You don't have to keep doing it.

[2062] You just have to do it and get it on DVD or get it on a video.

[2063] put it on the internet for that little hobo bit to not get out there in the world is a crime against humanity thanks jean you need to figure that out thank you you need to figure that out you need to figure out you need to figure out how you're going to get that out there okay because i can't tell you how many times i fucking howled with laughter at that bit i've seen that bit close to a hundred times maybe i mean all the times we work together i love doing it's a fucking great bit dude you need people need to see that it's fun and it's so you it's so you if anybody was like wondering what kind of comedy as Duncan do.

[2064] I'll be like you got six minutes sit out and watch this.

[2065] You know what's fucking cool though, man. I can't give too much of it away, but I am going to be puppeteering a puppet.

[2066] I'm going to be using a puppet for this show we're doing for MTV Digital that we're shooting right now.

[2067] It's going to be really cool.

[2068] A lot of spooky spooky sketches.

[2069] Okay, let's get into the Duncan Psyche.

[2070] Let's find out what that's all about.

[2071] Joey Diaz used to always say, this motherfucking Duncan's always playing around with the devil.

[2072] One of these days you're going to fucking realize that devil's going to bite him right in the ball sack.

[2073] They did.

[2074] Did it?

[2075] Did it really?

[2076] Took one of my balls.

[2077] No, no, no, no. I don't really...

[2078] No, I was just kidding.

[2079] I was just kidding.

[2080] No, no, no, no. You know, listen, man. There's no dark side.

[2081] You can't be fucking around with the devil, Duncan Trussel.

[2082] You think you're being cute all he -hees and ha -haz?

[2083] Watching the cartoons.

[2084] SpongeBob.

[2085] But my point is, I'm just joking around about that.

[2086] But my point is, like, What is your fascination with this demonic idea?

[2087] You're drawn to that angle so often.

[2088] Like, what is it?

[2089] Drawn to what angle?

[2090] Drawn to the angle of, you know, obviously I don't believe that you think in these things, like as far as being reality, but the idea of a demonic entity, the idea of evil incarnate.

[2091] I mean, you've often talked about evil as, like, a philosophical idea, like a location that you can get to.

[2092] You know, man, I've changed a lot in my life.

[2093] life and there was a time when I actually did believe that there was some there there and I still have I I know people who do believe in this kind of thing but you know why you don't anymore what you know why you don't anymore why girlfriend's 24 you think that's why I don't believe in evil anymore as you look at a vagina it's like drinking out of a spring when you've been trapped in the desert you're trapped in the desert and you come down the hill and what is this is this an oasis is this a hallucination and you get in that cold Colorado spring water and you just slap it up 24's not old Joe that's not what I'm saying I'm just kidding that's a joke I get I know it was a joke God I think it's more of a you know there's that too though you know what I like does that too well I think that that's a very good point that's not that is not a huge point Joe Diaz I'd like to say that that is a savage you guys are embarrassing me I um but I I like the uh in Hinduism I like the whole cycle of things.

[2094] Someone's panicking, they're going straight to the Bhagavad Gita.

[2095] That's what I think.

[2096] Oh, Jesus Christ, here we go.

[2097] Fuck off!

[2098] It's fucking Hindu time.

[2099] You assholes!

[2100] You ass!

[2101] Let's talk about Congress and the Diebold voting machines, man!

[2102] I can smell a fucking lottery ticket.

[2103] Let me get that midnight moon.

[2104] Whatever the fuck that is.

[2105] Don't let me smell like that.

[2106] We're drinking moonshine here in the point of the episode.

[2107] Duncan, I push one in front of you.

[2108] Do you not drink anymore?

[2109] Are you scared?

[2110] I'm trying to, I'm trying to lose weight, so I'm not drinking alcohol.

[2111] That's not going to help you.

[2112] Being a pussy is not going to help you lose weight.

[2113] It's the exact opposite of what's going to help you lose weight.

[2114] What's going to help you lose weight is being a savage.

[2115] And what a savage does is occasionally they have a drink because they're a fucking man. They do whatever they want to do, and then they do squats.

[2116] Well, what I want to do is not drink.

[2117] Listen to me. I have kettlebells here in this building.

[2118] I can help you burn off.

[2119] Are you going to throw one at me if I'm going to help you work out?

[2120] After this podcast is over, I'll show you a squat routine that you can do with a fucking 32 kilogram.

[2121] Okay, great.

[2122] Okay, great.

[2123] How much proof is?

[2124] A thousand.

[2125] It's evil.

[2126] It'll hurt your mother.

[2127] If you drank that shit, your dead parents will fucking kick around their graves.

[2128] If you drink that shit, kids you grew up with in high school were crashing the trees.

[2129] Oh, my God.

[2130] That shit's fucking strong.

[2131] It's so strong.

[2132] It's ridiculous.

[2133] People you've never met will get drunk.

[2134] People you'll meet in a week and will fucking pass out of work.

[2135] Does it taste good?

[2136] It actually tastes pretty good.

[2137] It's not as strong as a regular man. It depends on what you think good is.

[2138] If you're talking about good.

[2139] Pool -Aid, no. How about do it's good with ice cubes?

[2140] What it tastes like, it's not that brutal.

[2141] It's interesting.

[2142] They did, whatever this is, Jamie, what is this?

[2143] What's the name of this company?

[2144] The smoky, old smoky, I think it is?

[2145] Whoever these people are, they're bad motherfuckers.

[2146] They know how to make some real moonshine.

[2147] Because I've had some scary moonshine that hurts, and I've had some moonshine like this.

[2148] It's pretty fucking smooth while letting you know that it's fucking you up.

[2149] But if you talk to somebody in Kentucky, they were like, yeah, That's, like, the wine cooler of moonshines compared to them, you know, like building it in the backyard and stuff.

[2150] I don't know, man. This stuff's pretty good.

[2151] Duncan and I had some stuff in North Carolina.

[2152] I remember when we ate at that slamming barbecue joint?

[2153] Yes.

[2154] Do you remember that?

[2155] Yep.

[2156] That plate, was it, what was it called?

[2157] I can't remember, but it's fucking good.

[2158] If you're in Raleigh, hold on a second.

[2159] I need to let these motherfuckers get their props.

[2160] Raleigh, barbecue, BVQ.

[2161] We ate the pit.

[2162] Was it the pit?

[2163] That's exactly what it was.

[2164] I thought it was.

[2165] They gave us some moonshine, some like peach moonshine.

[2166] Oh, my God, it was good.

[2167] God damn, it was good.

[2168] First of all, the barbecue there, if you're in Raleigh, that place is sensational.

[2169] It's so good.

[2170] It has four stars if you go to, like, the reviews online.

[2171] But that's just because 10 % of the people in the world have their fucking head deep in their ass.

[2172] like if the world was just and pure that would be a five -star place no doubt about it and they had this insane peach moonshine and you would drink it and you'd go whoa yeah and you also like it because you know it's illegal you know i hate booze right you know i hate the taste of booze yeah that's fucking delicious this is good that's delicious they know what they're doing um real moonshine is uh over a hundred proof as high as 150 proof which is about 75 % of alcohol.

[2173] So you're drinking Yeah, you're pretty much just drinking You're free basing booze.

[2174] And what is this stuff?

[2175] It should say on the side of it.

[2176] Does it say the proof?

[2177] Yeah, I should say right on the bottle.

[2178] Can you eat it, Joe?

[2179] If you eat bad pussy and you eat this and you drink this, you're saved.

[2180] It'll save you.

[2181] It'll kill all the HPV.

[2182] I don't kill all the HPV right out of your fucking Thompson.

[2183] You won't go on Michael Douglas.

[2184] I won't be spitting fucking yellow buttons tomorrow.

[2185] I can't read the proof.

[2186] Where does it say it?

[2187] Does it say it in the front?

[2188] Eagle, I'm sorry.

[2189] Oh.

[2190] It says 50%.

[2191] Is that 100 proof?

[2192] Why wouldn't you say 100 proof?

[2193] Oh, it does say 100 proof.

[2194] Another spot.

[2195] 100 proof?

[2196] Yeah, it's 100 proof.

[2197] It's not bad?

[2198] No, it's not bad.

[2199] What's whiskey?

[2200] 90.

[2201] 90 proof?

[2202] Yeah.

[2203] So it's just a little stronger than whiskey.

[2204] That tastes delicious, though.

[2205] Now, that's...

[2206] With some ice cube, with a little mild cigar.

[2207] Oh, yeah.

[2208] With an ice cube, but a little mild cigar guys, are not a big one, a little one, three hours to kill.

[2209] maybe something to watch in a fucking casino in Vegas while you...

[2210] Like a Monty Cristo?

[2211] Something, yeah, a little Monty Crystal that's perfect.

[2212] The problem is, is when Jamie first originally gave it to me, I thought it, I didn't think it was that strong, so I was just drinking it like a drink and I almost drank like a half a bottle of it.

[2213] And that's like drinking a half bottle of Jack Daniels.

[2214] Yeah, you get fucked up.

[2215] How many guys did you fuck that night?

[2216] Just you.

[2217] What?

[2218] Oh, shit.

[2219] We want, wah, wah.

[2220] This is jealous, Joe.

[2221] Shut up.

[2222] This fucking podcast sucks.

[2223] I quit.

[2224] This is legal to sell?

[2225] Yeah, that's actually...

[2226] That's the grocery stores.

[2227] I can go to a bar and get this.

[2228] Yeah, this has a barcode on it.

[2229] Wow.

[2230] Midnight moon.

[2231] That is fucking delicious.

[2232] Ice cubes.

[2233] As long as they have one of those fucking things on it, that's legit.

[2234] That means it's gone through the government taxes and all that shit.

[2235] Man, I wonder what the fuck is going to happen to this country now that we realize that these assholes can't communicate.

[2236] They can't get along so badly that they're...

[2237] They're shutting the government down.

[2238] Like, they're throwing a temper tantrum, and then they're not working their way through this, and they're shutting the government down.

[2239] I read this thing on Reddit that I thought was a really cool solution, which is adding to the Constitution some way to, if this happens to do re -elections for everyone, so that we can just, we can wipe the slate.

[2240] That's a good idea.

[2241] That's incompetence.

[2242] That's clear incompetence.

[2243] And apparently, if, like, all the states wanted to do that, there's a way to do that.

[2244] There's actually a way for the states to ban together so that we can do complete re -elect.

[2245] and get get you know since it's not working they can't do their jobs it's not working let's get new people in there but then there's seen ran paul and some other dude got taught got caught in a conversation with their mics on about the the reactions that people are going to have to all this no what do they say they're just talking about hedging their bets they're just talking about saying all the things the talking points or all the things they were willing to compromise on with the president wasn't and it's really spooky stuff because it's it comes down to this gigantic system grinding to a halt because a bunch of people were in an ego battle and they're playing a game with chess.

[2246] Well, it's almost like the founding fathers built into the machine, a thing that I think is supposed to alert the population that we have to do something more.

[2247] I think that's what that is.

[2248] I mean, I just saw, I hate saying this.

[2249] I mean, I don't know why I hate saying it, but I just saw Jesse Ventura on Pierce Morgan, and he was giving this very, like, intelligent, cogent description of what's happening, and he was saying, this means that we need to have a revolution.

[2250] And it doesn't have to be violent, but we do need to revolutionize the way government works.

[2251] Because right now it's not working, and the reason it's not working is because there is a percentage of people who don't believe that they should have to get, that the government can impose health insurance or that can make people buy health insurance.

[2252] You know what I think?

[2253] I think the government has to adapt just like the porn industry did.

[2254] The porn industry came along and the internet came along and clipped the fucking legs out of the porn industry.

[2255] Is there still porn available, Brian?

[2256] Yes.

[2257] There is.

[2258] That's right.

[2259] You know why?

[2260] Because they adjusted.

[2261] They did what they had to do.

[2262] And I think the government needs to do the same.

[2263] The internet does not allow the government to be the same entity.

[2264] It's too obvious where the money comes from.

[2265] We know too much about lobbyists.

[2266] We know too much about the influence of corporations.

[2267] We know too much about Congress.

[2268] And now Congress has been influenced to the point where they're willing to actually allow corporations to vote as humans with their money and have no limits on how much they can get.

[2269] tribute to individual candidates who will eventually serve their business needs once they get into office it's nonsense and we know it's nonsense now because of the internet just like we know that 3999 for a DVD with you know insert the blank terra patrick that's not you don't have to do that when you can go to you to you porn and just it's free just beat off online yeah and we know that now so that that kicked out the legs yes digital information one's in a very different way but it's the same thing yeah the internet has kicked out the legs of politics and politics is holding on by a fucking claw.

[2270] They're hanging on like that kitten in that, hang in there, poster.

[2271] It's getting to the point where we have to do something.

[2272] Like, it's...

[2273] Or it will happen just like the Ice Age eventually stopped or just like war eventually ends.

[2274] Just like we got out of Vietnam, just like the Civil War ended.

[2275] Something will eventually break.

[2276] Well, we'll get to a point where we'll like enough.

[2277] Yeah.

[2278] Well, let's just hope, I mean, I don't...

[2279] By the way, lately, I've just been trying to avoid the news, which is hard when you're addicted to read it, but I've been trying to avoid it completely.

[2280] But if what they're saying, if it's not just a bunch of bullshit, if what they're saying is true, then we could go into another recession because of this.

[2281] This could drive us into another recession.

[2282] And if that's the case, then that means that we have to get a new, there needs to be a new government, because there's no reason for us to go into another recession.

[2283] You know, how many of them are there in the government?

[2284] Yeah, how many?

[2285] How many senators?

[2286] How many?

[2287] I don't know the exact amount.

[2288] There's an exact amount.

[2289] What is it?

[2290] 200 people?

[2291] Seven.

[2292] Yeah.

[2293] And how many people are on the planet or on Earth?

[2294] And how many people are on the United States?

[2295] Because the shit that happens in the United States affects the entire planet.

[2296] So it's like the fact that there's, I don't know, it's sad that I don't know the number of senators and congressmen.

[2297] You don't need to.

[2298] It's all nonsense.

[2299] whatever this tiny, tiny number is compared to the ocean of humanity, the fact that they're creating an unnecessary situation where we could all theoretically suffer shows that we as the people have been conditioned to believe that we're powerless.

[2300] And so that conditioning needs to go away.

[2301] And the moment it did and we organized in a nonviolent way, then they would immediately start listening to us.

[2302] It's just that everyone gets so mad, oh, the government doesn't represent the people anymore.

[2303] It's like, well, that may be true, but what are we doing to organize to make it so that they start listening to us again?

[2304] We need to do that.

[2305] Well, yeah, and no. I mean, yeah, and that something's got to change.

[2306] And no, in that really what would be optimal is if the people that were in positions of power realized they were fucking over the world.

[2307] That would be the best.

[2308] If they said, hey, guys, you know, we ate some peyote and we realize we're a bunch of cunts.

[2309] So we're willing to, like try to figure out how to figure out a way, how to reward people for the work that they've already done, but yet move forward in a much more ethical way of distributing wealth.

[2310] Good luck, man. Good luck, because that's socialism talk, you fucking commie.

[2311] And these people are fucking human fossils.

[2312] Imagine taking peyote with bainer.

[2313] Imagine like, can you imagine looking across at that guy and he's like transforming into howdy -duty in front of you?

[2314] His eyes are glowing red.

[2315] No way, man. I don't know if it's possible.

[2316] It seems like these are earlier versions of human beings whose entire operating system has needed an update since the 70s.

[2317] Imagine if you hadn't updated your iPhone since when iPhones came out.

[2318] That's what these people are like with information.

[2319] But they're way worse than iPhones.

[2320] These motherfuckers, they're on a BBS board in the early 90s with a 14 -4 modem.

[2321] And the shit cuts out every five minutes.

[2322] They're not on top of the ball at all.

[2323] Yeah.

[2324] Well, it's the whole thing's fucking wrong, man. I really liked, I had Christopher Ryan on my podcast, and he was talking about how in indigenous cultures, the people who never are allowed to become leaders or the people who indicate that they want to be leaders, like those are always the ones people avoid as being the leaders, and the ones who end up being leaders are the ones who know the most about certain things like fishing or hunting.

[2325] Those people are naturally followed.

[2326] Right.

[2327] They don't fucking throw men.

[2328] makeup on and try to get in front of a try to hypnotize a country by saying the exact same thing everyone always says good evening yeah my fellow americans president talk that weird cadence why are you talking like that what the fuck is that we've talked about that a hundred times on this show you and i have had this conversation like if you were sitting at home with a guy and he started talking me like that you would stop him he'd be like what the fuck are you doing are you trying to hypnotize me can imagine if joey dyes were sitting across from obama joey what we're dealing right now been reached.

[2329] We have reached out the Republicans.

[2330] We're unwilling to bargain.

[2331] Yeah.

[2332] People like, you're fucking killing me, dog.

[2333] Why are you talking to me like that?

[2334] Yeah, and also the way...

[2335] You're freaking me the fuck out.

[2336] I was born.

[2337] I was...

[2338] North Bergen, New Jersey, 1978.

[2339] Look at this picture.

[2340] Look at me, motherfucker.

[2341] I'm on a basketball team with a bunch of guineas.

[2342] One black guy and a Filipino.

[2343] Why are you talking to me like that?

[2344] It's, what's happening is diffusion of...

[2345] Joey's gone.

[2346] You're so gone.

[2347] I've never seen more gone.

[2348] I'm not.

[2349] I'm watching my Boy, I'm listening over here.

[2350] How high are you on a scale of one to a billion?

[2351] I'm like six.

[2352] For Joey Diaz to be this high, man. Whatever you took must have fallen out of a spaceship.

[2353] That shit must have come out of a time machine.

[2354] The fucking...

[2355] A portal opened up and the worm vomited out whatever you ate.

[2356] The orbs, basically the orbs.

[2357] Yeah, man. Took a cookie to Joey Diaz's house.

[2358] I've never seen you like this.

[2359] I'm thinking about people who smoke dope and people who don't smoke dope and how the people who don't smoke dope worry me. Because the people who don't smoke dope have just called me eight times after I told them for the last eight days that I was doing your podcast today.

[2360] From one to whatever, they've continually called me today.

[2361] And the people who don't smoke, the people who smoke dope, they don't bother me. They're at home.

[2362] They ain't trying to fucking call me. It's amazing.

[2363] What do you mean people who don't smoke?

[2364] Just a friend of mine that wanted to do something Friday.

[2365] Oh, I see.

[2366] And I said to him, listen, I'm going to be busy from, like, one to like five, maybe six.

[2367] Maybe I won't see you.

[2368] Yeah.

[2369] But I'll call you when I get out of there.

[2370] Yeah.

[2371] He's already called me three times as I've been in here.

[2372] Yeah, it's weird.

[2373] You getting mad?

[2374] No, no, I'm not getting mad.

[2375] I just thought I spoke to him about it.

[2376] And it's just weird how people don't fucking listen.

[2377] They don't listen.

[2378] They don't care to listen.

[2379] They don't want to listen, you know.

[2380] Right.

[2381] It's just, it's always, you know.

[2382] so that's it that's what I was thinking that's it these motherfuckers don't want to listen they don't want to fucking listen I don't ask for much who does want to listen Joey nobody me neither I don't want to listen that's why we did too busy with my own shit I'm trying to sort of my own shit that's right don't need to listen to anybody that's right Duncan man when you get around somebody who's listening to you it's the coolest feeling ever like wow hence the 24 year old girlfriend is mystified you string words They're together like a wizard.

[2383] No. Like, buddy, you know I love you.

[2384] You're a savage.

[2385] You take these girls.

[2386] I love it.

[2387] You teach them.

[2388] You're a guru.

[2389] I'm not teaching.

[2390] She's really super fucking smart.

[2391] We're just joking around it.

[2392] These are jokes.

[2393] Very smart.

[2394] See, this is honorable because you like her so much.

[2395] This is where you stop joking.

[2396] You like halted the joke.

[2397] Oh, come on, guy.

[2398] Oh, yeah.

[2399] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[2400] Like, you can't even joke around about it because you actually like her.

[2401] Well, if we were, yeah.

[2402] It's sweet.

[2403] Yeah, it's beautiful.

[2404] I think you're supposed to do that.

[2405] You are.

[2406] You are.

[2407] Well, it just shows that that's who you really are.

[2408] You know, that you're, you know, you really like the chick.

[2409] She's cool.

[2410] Nothing wrong with being 24.

[2411] I was 24.

[2412] By the way, when I was 24, I was dumb as fuck.

[2413] You wouldn't want to be friends with me. If I was 24 and I was in this room, you'd be like, get that dickhead out of here.

[2414] Go.

[2415] Same with me. I was so dumb.

[2416] When I can, we didn't have the internet.

[2417] What?

[2418] We didn't have the internet.

[2419] We didn't have it.

[2420] Well, I had rudimentary.

[2421] We had rudimentary internet.

[2422] Please.

[2423] You didn't have the real internet internet.

[2424] You had to download JPEGs and it would take a long time.

[2425] You just hoped that it would like click over the tits so you could start masturbating.

[2426] That's what porn used to be, is waiting for those lines of pixels to roll down the screen.

[2427] Well, you know, I think that it took a long time for us to figure out what to do with it.

[2428] So the early internet, like I was on the internet in 94, but I didn't learn a goddamn thing until 2003.

[2429] Right.

[2430] I didn't learn anything.

[2431] It was all just talking shit and message boards and downloading porn and nonsense.

[2432] And then somewhere along the line, that all got boring.

[2433] And I started learning shit.

[2434] I think we started paying attention more things.

[2435] It was also like the three years into my pot journey.

[2436] I started with the weed around 2000.

[2437] So that's when I started questioning a lot of different things at about 2000, delving into the Internet deeper.

[2438] Thank God for the Internet.

[2439] It's revolutionizing everything, man. Even like fucking taxis, like Uber.

[2440] Oh, it's amazing.

[2441] Are you fucking shitting me, man?

[2442] It's the exact same price as a taxi.

[2443] Tell people what it is.

[2444] There's a, I'm not sponsored by them at all.

[2445] I just love them.

[2446] I just used them.

[2447] I only used them once.

[2448] It was incredible.

[2449] But there's a company called Uber.

[2450] It's an app.

[2451] And you go on to Uber, you click a button.

[2452] And within, when I did it the first time, there's a, they send like a limo to your house.

[2453] And it was there in two minutes.

[2454] It's the exact same price, maybe $5 more than a taxi.

[2455] And it's incredible.

[2456] Yeah, it's a sweet move.

[2457] It's great in New York City.

[2458] It's amazing.

[2459] And the taxi companies in L .A. took them to court and tried to sue them so that they couldn't exist.

[2460] Really?

[2461] Because it's such a competition.

[2462] I just talked to a taxi driver all about this.

[2463] And he said, there's good reasons for it too.

[2464] My friend, I'm not friend, this guy I know drove for one of the Uber type things, like I think it was Lyft.

[2465] He got in a car accident with three other people while he was driving.

[2466] And you would think like Lyft or this company would insure everybody, but no, he's getting sued by everybody in the car.

[2467] And his insurance isn't supposed to be covering, you know, when he's working.

[2468] And a lot of these people don't have the right insurances.

[2469] So when you're in an Uber or something like that, they're not getting approved by the state.

[2470] They're not getting insured.

[2471] It's kind of almost illegal in some ways.

[2472] Well, I would never do anything illegal.

[2473] Right, but the taxi drivers have now all have their own apps now.

[2474] Like the yellow cab app has the exact same thing Uber has now.

[2475] So they're actually catching up trying to do this shit.

[2476] Yeah, but still, even if the yellow cab app works, you're still in the back of a fucking taxi.

[2477] With Uber, you're in like a super nice car, bottled water in the back.

[2478] And it's the same part.

[2479] The main crazy thing about it is it's $5 more.

[2480] They can't compete.

[2481] There's no way they're going to compete with that.

[2482] Like once people start really finding out about it, who's going to call a fucking cab?

[2483] Why?

[2484] Yeah, why would you?

[2485] And it takes longer to get a cap.

[2486] When I did the Uber thing, it was there in two minutes.

[2487] Like, you know, when you see your dog take a shit and instantaneously there's a fly on the shit?

[2488] And you're like, how is that possible?

[2489] Where do they come from?

[2490] Are they everywhere?

[2491] That's fucking Uber.

[2492] Well, there's so many people out there driving limos.

[2493] The number of people driving limos is pretty gigantic.

[2494] It's amazing now.

[2495] Yeah, I mean, think about where you're at.

[2496] You're in the Los Angeles area.

[2497] The amount of airplane pickups, airport pickups, airport pickups are what limo driving is all about.

[2498] I work for 5th Avenue limo in Boston, and 90 % of my work was airport.

[2499] Airport.

[2500] I work for a limo driver too.

[2501] Take them in New Hampshire, take them anywhere from Logan Airport, like in a 100 -mile spiral, you know, in any direction.

[2502] Awesome.

[2503] Yeah, so there's always a bunch of people waiting around.

[2504] Like, that's the other crazy thing about limos is those motherfuckers work insane amount of hours.

[2505] Like, it's not just a crazy, like regular job, like 12 hours a day, 16, 17, 18, go back home, sleep for a few hours.

[2506] They'll call you in the morning.

[2507] I worked until 2 o 'clock in the morning.

[2508] These motherfuckers were calling me at 6 asking me to come back in.

[2509] And I was like, you're fucking crazy.

[2510] And they were like, look, you got debt, you got credit card payment problems, you got this, you got that.

[2511] We'll take care of you.

[2512] Well, I'll tell you what, we got a fucking bounty of work.

[2513] And they're like, see Mikey, Mikey over here, the guy had, he had a Boston college sticker on his Cadillac.

[2514] Didn't go to college.

[2515] He just liked Boston College, right?

[2516] He was just a limo driver.

[2517] It was kind of a sad character.

[2518] This guy just was, all he did was work.

[2519] And he's like, he makes you good living.

[2520] He doesn't have to bust his ass.

[2521] You know, he's in here, 16, 17, 18 hours a day sometimes.

[2522] And he was like, that's how you do it.

[2523] And he gets in his car and he drives off.

[2524] And we're like, like, he's got a nice apartment.

[2525] a nice Cadillac.

[2526] He's driving.

[2527] Meanwhile, this guy was a slave.

[2528] He was a slave to Ville Scalapini at the nice Italian restaurant that he could get any time he wants.

[2529] He was a slave to the fact that he had a nice apartment with a nice view.

[2530] He looked out his window.

[2531] He felt like a winner.

[2532] And he was a slave to his Cadillac with his BC sticker on it.

[2533] And this fucking guy worked every day.

[2534] And you could do that.

[2535] The good thing was, if you were in a hole, you were in a financial hole.

[2536] It was good.

[2537] They paid well.

[2538] You could work and you can make good living.

[2539] That guy made more than 60 grand a year driving limos.

[2540] And this was back in 1990, not even, 1989.

[2541] So it was a long time ago.

[2542] You know what else is cool about Uber?

[2543] I'm sorry, Joey.

[2544] No, go ahead, I'm sorry.

[2545] No, go ahead.

[2546] No, Uber also, you know, listen, Uber obviously is $5 more than a cab.

[2547] So what that does is that only cuts everybody again.

[2548] Yeah.

[2549] Like, that lowers the price.

[2550] I mean, it's good for us, but it's like some...

[2551] Well, it's good for them, too.

[2552] It's just bad for caps.

[2553] At least they're busy.

[2554] Yeah.

[2555] At least they're busy.

[2556] It's bad for caps.

[2557] At least, uh, instead of, you know, that, you know, that, Same ride would cost $85.

[2558] Now with Uber probably cost $55.

[2559] Did I ever tell you when I drove Jeff Beck?

[2560] I drove Jeff Beck.

[2561] Well, I didn't, I don't know if he was in, yeah, he was in my van.

[2562] And the manager, it was some, I was picking up rock stars on a regular basis.

[2563] And the manager for Annie Lennox was there too.

[2564] And we went to some hotel where we saw Annie Lennox.

[2565] But I couldn't, I wanted to get Stevie Ray Vaughn.

[2566] It's a big Steve Ray Vaughan fan.

[2567] Steve Rayvon refused limos, would not take limos, rode it in cabs.

[2568] All he did was riding cabs.

[2569] You have a limo waiting for Steve Rayvon.

[2570] He'd be like, thanks.

[2571] And he, like, taxi.

[2572] He put his hand up, get a taxi, throw his bag in fucking the backseat, and bring his guitar in there with him.

[2573] And that's it.

[2574] He was gone.

[2575] He didn't want to ride in your limo, man. He wasn't interested.

[2576] Wow.

[2577] It's really kind of interesting.

[2578] Because they had a limo for him at Logan Airport.

[2579] Boston he's like yeah not interested he probably like the thick smell of soup farts and cologne well he probably could do heroin much more comfortably in the back of a cow yeah right I don't know if this was the time where he was doing heroin or if he was just being authentic oh you know some people just decide that like you got a in order to do real art like that like real Stevie rave on type music yeah you got to be down got to be in the gutter you got to be down with the people it's not about the gutter I mean a cab driver's not the gutter but a cab driver's down that's a real dude.

[2580] You know, you're driving around a city, and you're taking a cab, and the cab is driven by a guy who lives in the city.

[2581] That's a guy who's working, but he's also on the grind.

[2582] That's a real dude, you know?

[2583] Sure, man, that's one way to look at things, but every time I get in a fucking cab, I feel like somebody just amazed me with your car.

[2584] I don't feel like I'm with the fucking people.

[2585] I feel like I'm in a gas chamber filled with shitty cologne.

[2586] Well, Jekar's all right, man. If you're trying to get laid and you live in a rear.

[2587] Now when it's mixed with garlic burps and the smell of somebody's rotting PETA The smell of somebody's rotting prostate They're just Every day they just pour Your car into their asshole To try to cover up this rotting stink of their intestines Riders on the storm Dum Dumb Dum Riders on the storm Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dunkin's Saturday Night Comedy Store Yes Joe Diaz, where are you going to be at?

[2588] Next week, I'm with Ari Shafir at Cubs.

[2589] Suck upon it, people.

[2590] Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

[2591] Suck upon it.

[2592] Get your shit together.

[2593] That's a fucking fantastic show.

[2594] Strap that motherfucker on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

[2595] Don't fuck around.

[2596] Joey Diaz.

[2597] Ari Shafir is very funny right now, man. He's on point.

[2598] Yeah, no, we got this.

[2599] He's on point.

[2600] He's on point.

[2601] He's a good fucking show.

[2602] This is a great show, there.

[2603] Well, you know, everybody's been accelerating.

[2604] It's been fun to watch.

[2605] I'm not going to say the bit, but the bit that you and I talk.

[2606] talked about on the phone that you're doing now.

[2607] I don't want to say what it is, but it's fucking hilarious.

[2608] I love watching everybody, like, hit some new levels.

[2609] You know, that Liberace bit is one of the funniest bits I've seen in decades.

[2610] I'm fucking writing new shit.

[2611] I'm trying, man. It's hard.

[2612] It is hard.

[2613] It is hard to write and tuck something away and go on and write something around it and you get on stage.

[2614] But you know what?

[2615] I'm getting into the 50 -minute bit now.

[2616] I'm starting to dig those long sets now.

[2617] I'm starting to realize that for years, the 15 -minute fuck -around set in town was working, now I just stay home and sleep.

[2618] I'm just going to town the night early and do Thursday night and bring the notebook with me. And by Friday, I'm fucking loose, man. It's really nice to...

[2619] There's a different game, you know?

[2620] It's a difference game and the hour game.

[2621] The hour game is different than the 15 -game game.

[2622] Yeah, you learn a lot more, man. And the only way to do it is to do it.

[2623] It's like anything else.

[2624] It's to do it.

[2625] You can talk about it.

[2626] I'm trying to write my hour.

[2627] You're not going to write it, bro.

[2628] You've got to get up off your ass and go out and do it.

[2629] I felt the difference in when I lived in New York, too.

[2630] It's one of the reasons why I did very few sets in New York City.

[2631] I was like, this seven -minute set is just not cutting it.

[2632] Seven, ten, ten minutes, that's not cutting it either.

[2633] Like, I barely got warmed up.

[2634] I barely got, barely get cranking.

[2635] And when you're going on the road and you're doing these long sets, it's the difference between doing a trailer and doing a movie.

[2636] Right.

[2637] You know, the trailer, you know, you develop a totally different style.

[2638] You have this like real quick, get to the point quickly, shock them early be nice to them but get your point across do you do do thank you good night and it's a sprint it's a wild sprint you're running up a hill but the set when you're doing an hour and 10 hour and 15 hour and 30 that's a different animal that's an animal you're establishing a mindset yeah you've got to do that all the time to do that and that's such a jarring thing when you've been doing that and then you come back and do a 15 minute set it feels really hard fucking weird it's less jarring though than the other way.

[2639] The other way is way brutal.

[2640] When you're going from a 15 minutes set and you think you know what you're doing and all of a sudden you have to do 45 and you get 35 minutes in and you're like I'm done.

[2641] Yikesies.

[2642] Yikesies, I got no material left.

[2643] What are you from, sir?

[2644] And the fucking panic in your eyes and just thinking, do I have any jokes I haven't done?

[2645] Is there anything I haven't done?

[2646] Is there anything I'm working on that I haven't done?

[2647] Scambling through the rolodex of your stone brain desperately for some scrap of a joke.

[2648] Well, for me, Back then, it was not even stone.

[2649] It was totally straight.

[2650] Right.

[2651] It was totally straight brain.

[2652] For the first few years, I didn't even, like, have a beer before I went on stage.

[2653] I didn't want to have that as a crutch.

[2654] I remember the first time I went on stage, I was shit in my pants.

[2655] I was like, maybe I should go get a drink, calm myself down.

[2656] And I was like, stupid, if you do that, you're going to need a drink every time you go on stage.

[2657] Just take your medicine, dummy.

[2658] I remember telling myself that, and I just went out.

[2659] 21 years old, take my medicine.

[2660] Smart boy.

[2661] Luckily.

[2662] Crazy and smart at the same time.

[2663] crazy enough to know it's like a really smart kid who gets a 500 horsepower car and really shouldn't be able to drive it like you gotta be careful stupid you gotta know what the fuck you're doing with this thing you're gonna hit the gas and fly off a cliff riders on the storm dunkin trussle looking with the fucking beard looking sharp with the fucking uh you've abandoned the fedora is this permanent I've abandoned can I shave your head no no and just leave the beard like look at this my friend Look how...

[2664] That's what freedom looks like.

[2665] No way, man. Oh, you say no way.

[2666] No, that looks great, but I'm in no way.

[2667] I'm never shaving my fucking head, man. I am happy that I made all the mistakes that I made.

[2668] All the mistakes that I made made me who I am today, and I've made them work for me, but if I could change one thing, it would be...

[2669] Not that I would necessarily...

[2670] I like the fact that I talk about the fact that I panicked about losing my hair, and so I got hair transplants, and I got a stupid scar on the back of my head.

[2671] but logically the one thing that makes the least amount of sense I should shave my fucking head when I was like 21 I just said you know what this ain't gonna last I should have just went with it because this is like so comfortable it's so easy to do it's so relaxing it's a non -factor now and I know it's still a factor for you my friend here's the thing man here's the real factor you do every single thing cult leaders do and I figure shaving my head I might as well go to airport and start handing out USBs with your podcast.

[2672] Just a little FYI, if I ever do start a cults, I'm not interested in being a leader.

[2673] No, of course not.

[2674] You're a leader.

[2675] You can be lead.

[2676] Tell me what to do.

[2677] I'll let you go.

[2678] I don't give a fuck.

[2679] You can be the leader.

[2680] Sure.

[2681] This is what they play on the documentary after the mass suicide.

[2682] Listen, behind that comet is a spaceship.

[2683] It is a spaceship, but they won't take you unless you cut your balls off.

[2684] So it's up to you.

[2685] You want to live on this earth and be in perpetual hell?

[2686] Or do you want to cut your balls off?

[2687] Put on the Nikes.

[2688] Get on the fucking spaceship.

[2689] God, Duncan.

[2690] Why not?

[2691] Take some alpha brain before you do it.

[2692] Take six.

[2693] And do some jumping jacks, the alpha brain.

[2694] Cattle bells.

[2695] Shave your head.

[2696] A hemp force.

[2697] What is it going out anyway?

[2698] It's out.

[2699] Is it out of it?

[2700] Yeah, I just got a new bottle of it.

[2701] It's vanilla with assayee.

[2702] Hemp Force protein powder.

[2703] It's fucking special.

[2704] What's some of that was?

[2705] It tastes like delicious.

[2706] It's so good.

[2707] We nailed it.

[2708] We took a long time.

[2709] This is not a slow process.

[2710] It's been really, first of all, Aubrey is amazing.

[2711] You want to talk about a pure person, a guy with pure intentions, and a hardworking dude and a smart guy and deserves every good thing that's happened to him.

[2712] He's just an amazing guy.

[2713] He's a really unique individual.

[2714] And you get it from his podcast.

[2715] You get it from his, he puts down these videos.

[2716] Like he made this one video about the psychedelic experience.

[2717] He's a smart motherfucker.

[2718] And I found no weaknesses in his fence.

[2719] You know, like a poke at people's fences and shit and trying to figure out where the weakness is.

[2720] He's the real deal, man. He's a young guy, too.

[2721] It's very admirable watching someone, like, go about trying to make a business and do it correctly and do it in this day and age with all the scrutiny of the internet and all the cons just raining down.

[2722] shit rain on your head just opening their asshole above your head is emptying their bowels of failure upon your head at every point always like and in their defense in their defense if you pay attention to most of human behavior you're going to find people tend to gravitate towards the worst if they can get away with it you know they get away with what they can get away with But the beautiful thing about people who are true psychedelic explorers and that's a fucking gross term but I'm going to use it anyway even though it's been co -opted true psychedelic explorers really are trying to do the right thing at all times and they understand that you have this beautiful way of describing this thing about acting in a famine state and that it fucks people up because they act in this famine state and the same amount of resources are available but you go into a panic where someone who acts in a state of community and abundance has a much different reaction from the same amount of resources sources, the same circumstances, the same, completely based on the attitude.

[2723] Well, yeah, and to get that sense of abundance, you actually have to, it's, you actually have to experience that there is abundance.

[2724] That's the thing.

[2725] You can't fake it.

[2726] You need to connect with what some people call the source or whatever you want to call it.

[2727] But once you connect with that thing, you realize that you're going to be fine.

[2728] Your body isn't going to be fine.

[2729] The planet, as George Carlin says, the planet's fine but humans are fucked.

[2730] Well, you go into that state, you realize, well, you're not permanent, but you realize there's a much, much greater thing happening than you.

[2731] And once you plug into that, it gets more difficult to get back into those ego games that are usually based on defending whatever you consider to be the most important thing in your life.

[2732] Yeah, no, I completely agree.

[2733] Yeah, I completely see where you're coming from.

[2734] Joey Diaz, you're done?

[2735] You know me, Doug.

[2736] I'm just waiting here for something, though.

[2737] I need to see an opening.

[2738] I need to see something to feed.

[2739] You know, they're just talking about plans.

[2740] Riders on the storm.

[2741] Fucking Galacticos.

[2742] We're talking about Northburg in New Jersey, 1978.

[2743] Slinging dick like a fucking, like a banshee on a trapeze.

[2744] Red band, what's going on?

[2745] With a dick like a carpet roll.

[2746] Why are you fucking quiet?

[2747] Red band, you're not feeding me lines, you know, upset me about that.

[2748] Joey, this is not red band's fault.

[2749] The micro fucking pot.

[2750] Both you guys.

[2751] You're not fucking talk.

[2752] talking me about the fucking nothing you don't get a chance to talk on this podcast i'm over here waiting for something to drop knowledge but nobody's giving me a fucking that's nonsense they're not even throwing me a fastball they're just throwing me curves who had the biggest dick in your high school basketball team that you show that picture by the way joie dyes has a uh this live podcast he does once a month and i was on his last one and it was probably one of the funniest one of the most funest times i've ever had to do you know I had a good time.

[2753] You only do it once a month now?

[2754] The live ones.

[2755] If I'm busy, I can't do Saturdays on one.

[2756] I switched up last, the end of September, into the Saturday night of Friday night.

[2757] It was great.

[2758] We had a fucking blast.

[2759] It really was a blast.

[2760] Really was a blast.

[2761] Because a lot of people worked during the week.

[2762] Right, right, right.

[2763] So you really can't give them.

[2764] So I've been trying to work it out, but this month I got busy, I can only do a Wednesday.

[2765] But I'll try in November to do a Saturday night or something.

[2766] Yeah, I think those, they're a different dynamic.

[2767] You know, I don't think it's the best way to do all of them, but it's fun to do some of them somewhere.

[2768] It really is to see what you draw from the audience.

[2769] And that spot is a great spot to do it.

[2770] And you get blaze and it's dark and you go up there and it's the perfect place and time to be funny.

[2771] Yeah.

[2772] It's like going to where they shot Gladiator.

[2773] You've got to fucking kill some motherfuck when they throw you in that stage, correct?

[2774] Coliseum!

[2775] Same thing at the ice house and that little stage too.

[2776] Yeah.

[2777] The energy is so against you.

[2778] Remember, you have people to the left of you, people to the right of you, and people in fucking front of you which is very rare you have people taking your corners away but not that wall you can't bomb there there's no way to run you know what I'm saying yeah there's just and it's perfect so you're up there and you're fucking it's like that little cheetah the other night that little stage was perfect even though you have people behind you sometimes that type of shit is good you're forced to be real in an intimate environment like that you only get five rows like cheetahs are just like five six rows and it couldn't have been better that story that I told that was the best that I was told it ever and part of it is because the energy The energy in the room Same thing at the ice house Yeah With that, now To do a podcast in the theater That's not for me, I don't think I think it would turn it into a show host condition Hey Duncan look someone sent you a tweet It says in Look at Dube Except the inevitable You look beautiful Yeah What is it look beautiful It's Duncan bald That's really good photoshop I'll retweet it Brian And Duncan went to prison tomorrow?

[2779] You come out in 10 years.

[2780] That's you.

[2781] You look like nobody would recognize it.

[2782] Okay, I just retweeted it.

[2783] There's Duncan Chastel.

[2784] I had a fucking swastika to the forehead.

[2785] And that's not.

[2786] You always have to go towards evil.

[2787] Come on, man. Swastika's not evil.

[2788] What about all the Jews out there?

[2789] There were fans.

[2790] Where is your bitches?

[2791] You son of a bitch.

[2792] Talking about Manson.

[2793] Big time, pimp.

[2794] You son of a bitch.

[2795] That's sexy.

[2796] See, that doesn't look that bad.

[2797] that looks beautiful come on Duncan I'm telling you yeah that looks better but Malin Khan did not accurately depict my hydrocephalic head that's a nice smooth head I've got a warped misshaping you don't even know what you're talking about I have a fucking smiley scar in the back of my head it doesn't matter it's the ultimate test of your ego your ego is trying to convince you that you look better with hair you do not you look different with hair I like it but okay that's great then but you don't look different Why is there a compulsion in all cult leaders to have people shave their head?

[2798] This is something that really drives...

[2799] Because you can't make them shave...

[2800] He's so fucking weird.

[2801] Because you can't make them shave their asshole, that's what.

[2802] Nobody else is like, you got to shave your head.

[2803] No one I know is like, shave your head.

[2804] It'll free you.

[2805] Riders on the Storm.

[2806] Dung -G -G -G -G -G -U -D -U -N -C -A -N -T -R -U -S -E -L -L.

[2807] You can follow Duncan -T -N -R -U -S -S -E -L -L -E -L -R -U -S -E -S -E -L -E -L.

[2808] Russell in the motherfucking house.

[2809] Don't bother following him on Facebook, because most of those people aren't even really Duncan.

[2810] You're talking to some strange girl.

[2811] Some girl pretending to be Duncan.

[2812] There's in love with Duncan.

[2813] Joey, there's fucking plenty of impostered Duncan's.

[2814] They're sprouting up as we speak.

[2815] How dare you lie to those people out there and not prepare them for the inevitable?

[2816] Joey motherfucking Diaz.

[2817] You can't get him on Twitter as Joey Diaz.

[2818] Mad Flavor.

[2819] Because he is Mad Flavor.

[2820] Matt Flavor.

[2821] He is the only...

[2822] semi -white dude who's allowed to have a non -de -plur.

[2823] And we, is that I say it?

[2824] That's right.

[2825] Non -de -plu.

[2826] Thank you.

[2827] It's a pseudonym, ladies and gentlemen.

[2828] Mad Flavor.

[2829] Mad Flavor.

[2830] Cod's.

[2831] With the flying Jew, Ari Shafir.

[2832] One of the best shows you're going to see, period, anywhere.

[2833] You're going to fucking have a good time.

[2834] Aetel's up there this week.

[2835] Oh, Jesus.

[2836] And then we come in.

[2837] Christina and P. is there Sunday.

[2838] Tommy Sigura from Sunday night.

[2839] That's how we do it.

[2840] Oh.

[2841] Opening up doors.

[2842] Promote.

[2843] We're ready.

[2844] We're there.

[2845] Cocksucker.

[2846] Bring the Riefer, T .H .C. The Santana Alms, I don't give off.

[2847] Oh, we're coming in the hot.

[2848] We're coming in hot.

[2849] Fuck it.

[2850] This weekend, I'm at the Ontario Improv with the one and only Tommy motherfucking Segura, aka Tommy Buns.

[2851] A .k .a. High and tight.

[2852] Bonds.

[2853] And he's there Friday and Saturday, and then on Sunday, it's the wonderful and luscious Tony Hinchcliff.

[2854] Tony Hinchliff on Sunday.

[2855] Perhaps Joey Diaz will be stopping by this weekend, but we can't promise anything.

[2856] He may, he may not.

[2857] nap.

[2858] He may eat two cookies and go deep into the abyss and come back with new information in a physical form.

[2859] You know me, guys.

[2860] Brian Redband, what's up with you?

[2861] You got a Friday night at the Ice House tonight?

[2862] No, I'm going to be at L .A. Podfest tonight with Mark Marin and Doug Benson doing a live show.

[2863] But October 31st, Death Squads at American Comedy Co. For Halloween with Tony Hinchcliffe, Sam Trippley, and a lot of surprise guests.

[2864] Oh, shit.

[2865] And then November 20th, San Francisco Punchline.

[2866] Oh, shit.

[2867] Bees!

[2868] San Francisco Punchline.

[2869] By the way, one of the ten greatest clubs in the history of comedy.

[2870] One of the ten greatest.

[2871] San Francisco Punchline?

[2872] Love it.

[2873] It's right up there with me. It's right up there with the Comedy Store, or the Comedy Works in Denver, right up there with the Comedy Store in Hollywood.

[2874] Those perfectly designed clubs, Punchline, San Francisco is the fucking bees' knees, Duncan.

[2875] Peace.

[2876] Anything to add?

[2877] This is a beautiful 10th podcast or 400th podcast.

[2878] whatever it was.

[2879] We love you.

[2880] That's it.

[2881] I fucking love these motherfuckers.

[2882] We love these people.

[2883] That moonshine was good.

[2884] Can you appreciate all the, what this is going on?

[2885] Or does it seem like, to me it seems craziness?

[2886] It seems like it doesn't even make sense.

[2887] None of it makes sense.

[2888] It's too many people.

[2889] It's too many numbers.

[2890] It's too nutty.

[2891] I don't want to think about it.

[2892] We just did Toronto.

[2893] We did Toronto, me, Callan, and Tommy Sigora.

[2894] Might have been the fucking craziest weekend we've ever had ever.

[2895] It was madness.

[2896] When Brian Callan went on stage to open up the show, The fucking, I really wish I filmed it.

[2897] I fucked up and didn't film it.

[2898] They went ape shit.

[2899] I mean, they went fucking ape shit.

[2900] They went crazy and then Secure came out.

[2901] They went crazy.

[2902] Toronto was amazing.

[2903] It was amazing.

[2904] It's hard to quantify how fucking good it was.

[2905] Toronto's such a cool city.

[2906] It's about as cool as it gets.

[2907] But this thing that we're doing right now, this podcast, this has changed my life.

[2908] And I know it's changed your life.

[2909] I know it's changed all of our lives.

[2910] It's some crazy shit.

[2911] but it's we found a hole we found a hole pulling people through come on through fucks all right we love the shit out of you guys and we will see you next week we got a lot of people coming up I'm in negotiations or no not negotiations Sam Harris Maynard Keenan Neal degrossi Tyson we got a lot coming up Greg Proops is coming up we got Graham Hancock is coming back cool we should get Dr. Drew I would love to get Dr. Drew David Wilcox We got a lot of people coming up A lot of interesting ones Into November I booked a bunch of A bunch of cool people in November as well So Dave Asprey's coming back We got a lot of people coming back All right Thank you everybody For allowing us To get to this Crazy number of 400 We love the fuck out of you people We can't believe That this has gotten To where it is We never saw it coming Brian and I started Almost 400 shows ago Almost four years ago Just hanging out of my house with a laptop.

[2912] Snowflakes.

[2913] A spinning Apple logo.

[2914] Yeah.

[2915] And here we are.

[2916] Having a good time.

[2917] Together still.

[2918] And we grow from you too.

[2919] We appreciate the fuck out of you guys.

[2920] And believe me, it's no small thing that we have a great sense of, of, we owe you guys.

[2921] I mean, that's how I feel.

[2922] We have a great sense of attachment.

[2923] This is not just a war.

[2924] one -way street.

[2925] And we want you to know that we appreciate the fuck out of you guys.

[2926] There's a massive amount of appreciation from Joey, from Ari, from Brian, from Duncan, from all of us.

[2927] We love the fuck out of you people.

[2928] From everybody, Tate and Eddie Bravo feels the same.

[2929] We all feel the same.

[2930] And thank you to all our sponsors as well, all of them, including the one that sponsored this show, LegalZoom.

[2931] Use the code name, Rogan, legalzoom .com, and save yourself some money.

[2932] Squarespace .com.

[2933] Use the code word, J -R -E to get yourself $110 $110 -dollar, awesome bonus situation type activity and uh on it dot com use the code name rogan save 10 % off any else supplements all right we love the fuck out of you guys big kiss how do you guys