Robert Downey Jr.

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dax Randall Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by Monica Lily Padman.

[3] This is a three -nameer.

[4] It is a three -nameer.

[5] You know, it's with great delight that I announced.

[6] Today, we have Robert Downey Jr. You've been wanting to have him on since day one.

[7] Day one.

[8] I'm fascinated with Robert.

[9] I love Robert.

[10] Yeah.

[11] And I hope you'll find amusing our past friendship.

[12] I find it to be one of the more amusing ones I've ever had.

[13] It was a really fun, funny, a little manic in a great way.

[14] Yes.

[15] It was so fun.

[16] I was in the best mood afterwards.

[17] And he was so lovely and engaging to you, which made me so happy.

[18] It was.

[19] I really liked him a lot.

[20] He's a sweet, sweet, sweet boy.

[21] He's also an award -winning actor and producer, the Iron Man's, the Avengers, the Sherlock Holmes's, Tropic Thunder, Chaplin, which he, a performance of a fucking century.

[22] Now he has a new show about Ding, Ding, Ding, Cars, my favorite topic called Downey's Dream Cars, where he takes some incredible old vintage cars and restores them and brings them up to a more eco -friendly world.

[23] It's really cool.

[24] Very cool.

[25] Even Monica liked it, and she's not long for car shows.

[26] I'm not, but I loved it.

[27] Also recommend that people check out Senior, the documentary that Robert made about his father.

[28] on Netflix, which is very beautiful, and we talk about it at length.

[29] Most of all, we're just so happy he's here.

[30] So happy.

[31] Please enjoy R .D .J. Robert Downey, Jr., aka Bob Downey.

[32] But before we go, we have our prompts for Armchair Anonymous for July.

[33] For July.

[34] For July.

[35] Here are your prompts.

[36] Prank gone wrong.

[37] Prank gone wrong.

[38] Sometimes they're well -intentioned, but the, execution is not great.

[39] Second prompt, time you made the news.

[40] Yeah, I'm excited for this.

[41] You know?

[42] What an exciting event it is to make the news.

[43] It's huge.

[44] It's huge.

[45] It's huge.

[46] Third, craziest simulation moment.

[47] You've heard all of monicas.

[48] You've heard a lot of mine.

[49] And now it's time for us to hear yours.

[50] So to remind you, prank gone wrong, time you made the news, craziest simulation moments.

[51] Go of course to armchairexpertpod .com and submit yourself.

[52] stories, and we will pick some among those and interview you.

[53] Cannot wait.

[54] Please enjoy RDJ.

[55] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now.

[56] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[57] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[58] Rob got you the most delicious thing this side of town if you're interested what's it called an oven top cream top cream from maru coffee it's the greatest thing in the world what kind of milk it's just great it's like a whipped cream that they make on top so it's dairy also we don't have to drink you want a nice espresso you got fucking big balls i'll tell you that i'm like there's water you want a cure egg fresh brew what are you going to do i'm worried about your caffeine do you want a match it has oatmeal i'm not taking you're not taking your mom We can split it.

[59] Weird if I sit on Trevor.

[60] Yeah, that's going to be audio -wise.

[61] It's going to be hard for it.

[62] Not for me. It would be a first time.

[63] We like first -timers.

[64] Do I have to wear these fucking headphones?

[65] You don't have to do anything, Robert.

[66] But I'm not shocked.

[67] You're already fucking bucking the system.

[68] There's been 600 motherfuckers came in here before you that had no problem with the headphones.

[69] Prince Harry among them.

[70] And you've got to come in here with all this toad.

[71] I don't wear headphones.

[72] I don't drink fucking milk.

[73] What else don't you do before we?

[74] We proceed.

[75] We are.

[76] We're APR.

[77] Always be recording.

[78] Except after your P, after your P. But you don't notify the guests that you're already recorded?

[79] Of course not.

[80] Sinister.

[81] How often are these changed out?

[82] Nobody has asked that.

[83] I know.

[84] This is an embarrassment.

[85] Those have been changed out recently.

[86] You're goddamn liar.

[87] Rob's a rascal and a liar.

[88] You shouldn't believe.

[89] That's right.

[90] And I broke a pair and then I had to bust out a pair from the box under my truck I found.

[91] I have more if you want to do.

[92] different pair, too.

[93] I do want a different pair.

[94] Oh, this is very exciting.

[95] Oh, my God.

[96] I've seen, I want a different pair.

[97] I've known you for, I want to say 17, 18 years now, which might shock you, because I've done math.

[98] I didn't know this side of you.

[99] I didn't know this.

[100] I haven't even seen him and I don't like them.

[101] The exact same is these.

[102] What's your problem with those?

[103] I need two pairs.

[104] Okay, great, great, great, great.

[105] I thought you were worried about germs, but you're worried about size.

[106] No. What is he worried about?

[107] It's really hard to figure out what he's Are there covers over these or is this just a felt?

[108] Would you be more comfortable if we put masks on for COVID?

[109] I have masks in the house.

[110] Should we get those?

[111] If I was worried about that, I'd have brought masks for everybody in case your masks were bullshit masks.

[112] No, these are K &96s.

[113] Most people have K in 95s.

[114] We have K on 96es.

[115] Monica, I'm so pleased to be meeting you.

[116] That is so kind.

[117] And I've been studying you.

[118] Oh, my God.

[119] What have you learned?

[120] Yeah, what have you?

[121] Well, I'm in your closet.

[122] I'm following me around.

[123] I'm listening to your dulcet tones.

[124] You're in my closet.

[125] That means you found me on Instagram.

[126] Yeah.

[127] Which, by the way, how I got to Instagram, I'm not sure.

[128] I tried to get on Instagram to watch Richard Lewis.

[129] A long story.

[130] So which one of these is fucking on?

[131] I would recommend the ones that are plugged in.

[132] Oh, my God.

[133] I'm going to try these for a second, but they just...

[134] Give him a world.

[135] They smell like your fucking.

[136] You're dusting off your chaplain character for this.

[137] You've got it all, you got a big nest of cords over there.

[138] Why is this an improvement?

[139] Well, don't you like the way it sounds?

[140] Do you want a sincere answer?

[141] My head hurts.

[142] Okay.

[143] It's like wearing a headband.

[144] Would you like an aspirin?

[145] You know, should we call it?

[146] Let's just call it.

[147] This has already been great.

[148] We got enough.

[149] Rob's got big balls.

[150] The biggest.

[151] Brings me, what is this?

[152] Cream top.

[153] A yak milk cream top.

[154] Like, that was so.

[155] beyond random.

[156] It's like this is what you would drink.

[157] Oh, no, no. It's what tax drinks, so I got an extra for you.

[158] And we're kind of similar.

[159] I hate to break this to you.

[160] Last question?

[161] Yeah, okay, we're there.

[162] We're at the last question.

[163] See, the show comes up June 22nd.

[164] Thanks, guys.

[165] How do you kick this thing off usually?

[166] Because so far you have nothing.

[167] And I think Rob would agree with me. No, you're completely wrong.

[168] You don't know shit about shit.

[169] Now, you're a genius in a lot of spaces, but you're out of your depth right now.

[170] We know how to make a fucking hot, steamy podcast.

[171] I want to try on some of your clothes.

[172] Anytime.

[173] Are they here?

[174] No, you'd have to come to my apartment.

[175] All right, but the weird thing is, usually if I think about something or say it, it's there.

[176] I know.

[177] I know.

[178] So this is already...

[179] But I'm a tough cookie, and I don't just bend to the whims of rich, powerful men.

[180] White men, let's that.

[181] Especially the white ones.

[182] That's right.

[183] Kind of flattering.

[184] It's a nice, it's a mixed bag, right?

[185] I thought you should take it as a compliment.

[186] You've done a lot.

[187] So when does OLA music need their stand back?

[188] That's too deep of a restaurant.

[189] What's OLA music?

[190] I don't know.

[191] All right.

[192] You ready?

[193] No, I'll tell you guys when this starts and what part of it you can use to start it.

[194] Just cue me when it's my turn to enter.

[195] Okay.

[196] But I do have a real sincere question.

[197] What would you have ordered at the coffee shop?

[198] Nothing.

[199] Oh, you don't like coffee.

[200] No, I love coffee.

[201] I just wouldn't order something in a coffee shop.

[202] Oh.

[203] Too pedestrian?

[204] Too unpredictable?

[205] Do you think people are trying to poison you?

[206] Well, first of all, this woke muffin.

[207] top fucking splottet or whatever it is, that just tells me who you are.

[208] Okay.

[209] Who rob is.

[210] And who are we?

[211] You're my friend.

[212] Oh, my God.

[213] I'm like, I'm like, I'm bracing for impact, yet it seems like their compliments, yet more impact.

[214] And now we're going to drink it.

[215] After all that fucking pageantry, of course we're going to drink it because we're a fucking attic and there's not going to be anything that's not sampled once.

[216] Let's get that second set of headphones on it.

[217] Any better?

[218] Is there beer in there?

[219] I still can't get the fucking...

[220] I was supposed to be ready in time for you, but the CO2 barrel isn't in there.

[221] I was hoping you and I could drink pints of N .A. While we were doing this interview.

[222] What's N .A?

[223] Non -alcoholic beer.

[224] I don't talk with an N .A.?

[225] Have you ever?

[226] You never have.

[227] I have?

[228] You don't like it.

[229] I have a huge moral judgment on it.

[230] Oh, you do.

[231] Tell me. Tell me. No, I don't know.

[232] Oh, because someone did give that to me. I ran into a dude from the program at a restaurant or something.

[233] I was drinking in Odules.

[234] And he said to me, You know what they say about near beer?

[235] When you're drinking near beer, you're near beer.

[236] I was like, oh my goodness.

[237] I said, you know how I know this isn't beer?

[238] Because I don't start looking for cocaine after three.

[239] That's how we know for sure definitively.

[240] This is not beer.

[241] Hold on.

[242] I'm ready whenever you are.

[243] Oh, gosh.

[244] Rob, this is too much.

[245] We can't even get them settled.

[246] It's too early for this.

[247] No, no, fuck that.

[248] You take a picture of me right now.

[249] Look, are you ready?

[250] And then over here?

[251] Let's grab one over here.

[252] Oh, wow.

[253] You don't have to take any of me, Rob.

[254] I'm easy.

[255] Part of me. Yeah.

[256] I just don't want it to start because then at some point it's going to end.

[257] Oh, that's beautiful.

[258] But do you know what?

[259] It doesn't ever have to end.

[260] It's a holiday weekend.

[261] These are going to be the best photos ever taken.

[262] They are.

[263] Who was that last character we just saw?

[264] Not sure.

[265] Maybe Elsie Downey?

[266] Oh, your mom?

[267] My mom might have been a little mom in there.

[268] I'm going to now insist we hit play, okay?

[269] Wait, can we just listen back to what we've done so far?

[270] Absolutely.

[271] Go to Video Village and watch playback.

[272] Okay, I think it's relevant.

[273] People can already hear the playful banter between you and I. They know there's an established relationship, so where does it come from?

[274] What's the Genesis?

[275] I'd love to tell that story, if we could.

[276] Yes.

[277] Okay.

[278] I'm going to be sincere right now.

[279] We've known each other for, I think, 18 years now, 17, something like that.

[280] Take care of that before you say your sincere thing.

[281] What's that?

[282] My tobacco?

[283] Yeah.

[284] On my full white outfit, I work literally for you because you dress so funky.

[285] I'm like, I'm going to go all white.

[286] And then you clearly dressed like I dressed today.

[287] It's like a body switching comedy.

[288] I'm not saying another word.

[289] Oh, no, no, no, no. Ever.

[290] Listen.

[291] You know what's going to fucking happen?

[292] I'm going to predict it right now.

[293] I'm about to tell a story about us wrestling, but we're just going to start wrestling in this interview.

[294] There's no way we make it through this whole interview with you and I not getting on the ground.

[295] I thought you were going to say.

[296] I predicted that as well.

[297] Weren't we there too?

[298] Yes, I really thought that's what you were going to say.

[299] Okay.

[300] I've not told you this ever, intention.

[301] because I think it would weird you out enormously.

[302] But I need to tell it because it's one of my favorite stories, okay?

[303] This is not a bit.

[304] We get Bree on the phone for this.

[305] I have been having reoccurring dreams about you since I was 14 years old.

[306] Once a month, in through my 20s, I would wake up, I'd tell Brie like, yeah, I had one of these fucking Robert Downey dreams again.

[307] Mind you, you weren't on all the marquees at this point.

[308] This is a pretty Iron Man. Puffy, but fuckable.

[309] Oh, totally.

[310] I mean, I would have these dreams.

[311] Robert, they were the same every single time.

[312] I bump into you out of nowhere.

[313] We start chatting and it's immediate.

[314] Oh, wow.

[315] We're soulmates.

[316] We're connected.

[317] Okay.

[318] This is 20 years of this.

[319] This is not an exaggeration.

[320] So one day we get invited over to John Favreau's house as I have just done a movie with him and you're about to start a movie with him.

[321] A little movie.

[322] Oh yeah, yeah, a little tiny upstart.

[323] So we go over there.

[324] We spend the evening together.

[325] We have no connection.

[326] I thought we did.

[327] Wait.

[328] I know I remember better than you do because obviously there's a status imbalance.

[329] So naturally, I remember every moment of this and you don't.

[330] We are soulmates, by the way, but continue.

[331] Okay.

[332] On the ride home from the Favros, I'm observably kind of sad.

[333] And Bree says to me, oh, honey, I'm sorry, that didn't go as your dreams always did.

[334] And I go, yeah, kind of interesting.

[335] I don't think he gave a fuck that I was there, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?

[336] Bear with me. Two months later, I go to visit John on set of Iron Man. You guys are in that enormous Marina del Rey soundstage.

[337] It was like an airplane.

[338] They built the spruce goose.

[339] Exactly.

[340] You and I are walking.

[341] You're leaving set.

[342] I'm walking towards that.

[343] We cross each other.

[344] And I'm so certain that I made no impact that it occurs to me, I'm going to have to remind him that we met.

[345] So as I'm crossing you, I say to you, hey, I'm Dax.

[346] We met at Johns the other night.

[347] And you said, and I'll never forget.

[348] Oh, I remember, you were the guy getting all the attention I'm used to getting.

[349] Oh, fuck Wow And my soul took flight Wings came out of my back And I was like, there it is And from that moment on In my version of events Then we became friends If you call us friends And not soulmates One more show In this interview Isn't it wild, dude Why wouldn't we Tell each other It's those things Because everything is known So I've known Unconsciously that you've been dreaming about me since you were 14.

[350] Mm -hmm.

[351] And then I probably thought, well, this is probably what made him.

[352] So Numinous and all this stuff.

[353] That's right.

[354] Your influence on him.

[355] You know, I came in so smart -assie and manic, and now I'm in my body.

[356] Oh, wonderful.

[357] And listening and connected.

[358] I'm even going to try this horse shit coffee.

[359] It's horse milk.

[360] But here's the problem nowadays.

[361] I can't even tell where the drink hole is on this.

[362] Oh, here is.

[363] There's so much cream.

[364] There is.

[365] It takes a bit to get to the actual.

[366] actual coffee.

[367] Fuck, that's good.

[368] Yeah, I know.

[369] And now with your permission, Robert, I'd like to go through a couple highlights after that moment.

[370] Hold on one.

[371] Yeah, first.

[372] How do you feel the subliminal dialogue is going on with us being reintroduced with him in the high status position?

[373] Cheryl switched around.

[374] With you there backing his play.

[375] I'm going to try to focus most of my energy on you, but I'm going to need a little feedback.

[376] So far, we're at 100%.

[377] I think we're doing really good.

[378] Uh -huh.

[379] Notes?

[380] No notes.

[381] Yes, no notes yet.

[382] I've done a couple edits already in my head.

[383] Of course.

[384] Monica edits the show, by the way.

[385] Oh, I know.

[386] Okay, great.

[387] Yeah, so I will sometimes look at her, and she has a look on her face that I know the scissors are out, and I should wrap it out because it's not going to see the light of day anyways.

[388] Either I've checked out, or I'm staring daggers into his eyes.

[389] Like, why are you still talking?

[390] Yes, that's happened several times.

[391] All right, in case you're wondering where we're at in the edit, you're on Highlight Reel.

[392] Mm -hmm.

[393] Do you have any memories of those two things?

[394] Of course.

[395] Okay.

[396] Then we chat a lot on set that day.

[397] And then you invite Brie and I really quickly thereafter to your birthday party.

[398] And I am like, I cannot believe I've been invited to your birthday party.

[399] We go to, this is why I can't tell you any of this stuff.

[400] I think I've played it really cool.

[401] Would you agree?

[402] I literally would have had no idea.

[403] In the line of what you're saying, from day one, we had like five people that were dream guests.

[404] And you were on the list.

[405] And I was like, well, can you just ask him?

[406] I know you know him.

[407] You could just ask.

[408] And he refused to just ask you.

[409] Do you need to take that?

[410] Yeah.

[411] It's a nice present.

[412] She's on another show right now as well.

[413] She does have other shows.

[414] Well, they're all under our umbrella.

[415] Yeah, but they're your shows.

[416] And I thank you for them.

[417] Because I do take a little piece of her shows, so it all works out.

[418] They're our shows.

[419] Our shows.

[420] This is what it is like on set with us, too, without a very strong director presence, is we're just kind of two loose balloons that we know.

[421] that the helium impact is going to ignite the atmosphere.

[422] So we're just kind of dancing until the moment that the strings get cut, we hit the ceiling and light up the ionosphere.

[423] So, and burn out quick.

[424] Super quick.

[425] And our voices get all high.

[426] So you were going to do a fucking highlight.

[427] So God, Jesus, where are we?

[428] Okay, so.

[429] It's not linear.

[430] I think I need to fast forward now.

[431] So initially we get to meet each other through Favro and then we stay in touch a little bit.

[432] Because I guess if I was on the outside and I learned we were friends, I would assume it was from sobriety.

[433] But that weirdly was not.

[434] I can either confirm nor deny my participation in 12 -step programs.

[435] Okay.

[436] Let me handle that for both of us.

[437] Let me bust the fuck out of your anonymity.

[438] Okay.

[439] What's really important now is that then we have a second mutual friend.

[440] And this friend is everything.

[441] He's the most important human being on planet Earth.

[442] The male that we're probably both modeling ourselves after.

[443] Two, one.

[444] Tom Hanson.

[445] Oh.

[446] Esquire.

[447] You know, I talk about him so often on here.

[448] I mean, I can't stop.

[449] So tell us for how long you've known Tom.

[450] I've known Tom for the entirety of my career.

[451] He is an entertainment lawyer.

[452] He's, I'm sure, as you've described him, he is a gorgeous one time near do well.

[453] He's the only person in our industry who has no known enemies.

[454] He's brilliant.

[455] He's great.

[456] the thickness of his hair i know it's insane but it's everything i've always said that he is the most successful person i know personally professionally as a dad too his yeah and his moral psychology is really the thing yeah i know i love him so much so then so how do we show our respect for him let's fast forward how we honor him we are both lucky enough to get invited to his was it a fourth of july was it new year's eve yeah I think it was 4th of July -ish.

[457] It was a holiday in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

[458] I was staying there.

[459] You were at a hotel with Susan, but you came over for dinner and they sent us to get something out of the kitchen, you and I. And while we were there, we got to talking about martial arts, as you do.

[460] And at any point, take over from your perspective.

[461] Because I'm not sure how it goes from us chatting about it to us full grappling, knocking shit over in this kitchen.

[462] I think it just exploded.

[463] Yeah?

[464] It's what soulmates do.

[465] There's no explanation.

[466] They just are following the fucking blueprint of some celestial plan they're not even aware of.

[467] It was one of those testosterone moments where people just gather around to see, is this where they have to get in their fast friendship?

[468] I think it's like, well, we know we can't fuck each other.

[469] So what else is left?

[470] I'm going to speak for yourself.

[471] You may be tall, but you're worth the climb.

[472] Well, we should add we're there with our wives.

[473] Look, here's all I remember.

[474] It happened.

[475] You're a game person.

[476] I don't know if people know this enough about you, but you are someone that should not be taken lightly.

[477] You're also tall and strong.

[478] You're also a tiny bit controlled crazy.

[479] Hailbilly, Gene.

[480] Okay.

[481] This is a terrible combination for someone who would think you were something else.

[482] Uh -huh.

[483] And I know a lot of folks like that that are from, Michigan or Tennessee or whatever, they just have this thing that urban people don't have in a way because the urban thing is everyone's bouncing up against it.

[484] It's really hard to discern.

[485] That is a terrible blanket statement.

[486] Here's what I'm saying is you are formidable.

[487] You are somewhat unpredictable.

[488] But I knew I was safe with you because unconsciously as soulmates, I knew that you been dreaming about me since 314.

[489] Absolutely.

[490] And I have thought about this.

[491] Who got the better of the exchange?

[492] I want you to say it.

[493] I can only tell you like the, the, proudest moment of it for me personally.

[494] Please.

[495] I was on top of you in the kitchen, and you said, you're so fucking strong.

[496] And I could have like evaporated into pixie dust at that point.

[497] What I do remember is my arms had gassed out from these seemingly never -ending strong headlock I'd had you.

[498] Pretty much from the beginning of the interaction until you fully mounted me. And were they real moves?

[499] We were going for it.

[500] It went to the floor immediately.

[501] and stayed there until the end.

[502] Okay.

[503] But I need to add, for anyone that might think this was like a 20 -second thing, a 30 -second thing, people...

[504] Six minutes?

[505] At least in vegan shit is getting knocked over.

[506] We're not in our house.

[507] We're in Tom and Judy's beautiful home.

[508] And stuff's falling off a counter as we have not brought the food back that we're supposed to bring back.

[509] And now I start hearing, I think, Kristen, you almost done in there?

[510] Like, we're getting the signal that we're ruining the party, basically.

[511] But I've thought about it since, it's how misguided I am so often.

[512] Like, I just want to be your best friend.

[513] And in my mind at that moment, I'm like, he will want to be my best friend if I'm stronger than him, which is the most antithetical approach, you know, but do you do those stupid things?

[514] We are very similar.

[515] And I also feel that there's very much a six degrees thing with us in that I can easily imagine a brilliant future for me that wasn't realized where I would be sitting in that chair and you would be sitting in this chair.

[516] And I think there's an understanding.

[517] We both share the same brain disease.

[518] We both have the same kind of semi -tamed, wild manic energy.

[519] I'm always happy to see you because then I realize I'm not the only one who looks bugged out half the time.

[520] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[521] And I think there's just a lot of similarities.

[522] But I think more than anything is this power of partnerships.

[523] your whole life is built around these very central, deeply significant partnerships you have.

[524] Powerful.

[525] Yeah, and they tend to come from things that happened organically and morphed into something else and morphed into something else.

[526] And then it's this realization of, all I fucking need is us.

[527] Do you think there's something for me there is?

[528] I can bond and share with Kristen or in this space with Monica.

[529] I have maybe a harder time doing that with me. men.

[530] Like there's probably been a lot of men that have come through my life that could probably have helped me in many ways that I couldn't either avail myself to or it would look like cowardice or weakness.

[531] Whatever it is, I've been able to accept women's power and allow that to help me in a way I can't with men.

[532] Yeah, I was in a couple's therapy session with Susan night before last.

[533] And maybe for the first time ever, I realized about 40 minutes in, I hadn't really said much and it was going great uh -huh and they were kind of figuring me out and he was going you know i never really put it together you know with robert he doesn't really that and i was kind of like this is great i'm not starting a fight to show that something needs to come up and be addressed so we can find some homeostasis i'm not trying to state my opinion with righteous indignation and basically the good doctor who's I think in senior he's just that blurry voice yeah oh I was curious if that was you on a zoom with your therapist yeah because he respects himself he's not he's not right I wondered if it was your therapist me too because it mirrored my sessions pretty well anyway Kenyon said you know from the outside it looks like you have this series of missteps and then you were in jails and institutions and then When you did a superhero movie and your life turned around, he goes, I track that as just a byproduct of you finally got into a relationship with somebody who understood how to meet your needs without coddling you and how to have separateness within your unity and how to have definitive black and white boundaries with you.

[534] I've observed this spending time with you and Susan.

[535] When I'm around the two of you, I go, these two were really made for each other.

[536] Certainly, Robert needs her.

[537] She was made for each other.

[538] How does she implement boundaries?

[539] Can you give an example?

[540] Here's my favorite one.

[541] I'll say this.

[542] When I'm in one of my moods, she will not engage.

[543] She will not follow me down a rabbit hole.

[544] Oh, wow.

[545] And it comes off to me as neglect.

[546] Uh -huh.

[547] This was one of the big kind of breakthroughs.

[548] I mean, you'd think we'd have gotten to this before, but you know, like you hear it and you say it and you feel it and you agree to it and you sign off and you check all the boxes, but you still haven't processed it and integrated it.

[549] She is just naturally not prone to enmeshment and dysfunction.

[550] And it is stunning.

[551] It's like she's staring at the teacups at Disneyland.

[552] She's like, yeah, I'm not getting on that ride.

[553] I'll get nauseous.

[554] Why the fuck would I get on that ride with him?

[555] Not to assign roles.

[556] And again, I just think.

[557] relationships are everything particularly if the relationships are based on a deep trust in how consistent we will be with each other doesn't mean that we can't fall away a field and be admitted back but we're not admitted back with the same rules as before we're constantly updating and integrating this thing because we're hell -bent on improving ourselves via each other so when you find someone that really can do that so we also try not to assign roles that she He's the sequential thinker, and I'm the associate of one, because we're always combinations of those.

[558] But generally, there are lanes.

[559] So it's not uptight.

[560] It's just super consistent.

[561] Have we started yet?

[562] We're about to.

[563] We're just, we're only, I only have three more.

[564] No, I have a little.

[565] I only have three more questions and then we'll start.

[566] Okay.

[567] I guess I just want to take us next after the wrestling match.

[568] Now I'm scared it's going to end.

[569] Thank you.

[570] It's never going to end, guys.

[571] It certainly isn't going to end with him on top because while he has improved his martial arts skills zero percent since then.

[572] But I'm twice as strong as I was then.

[573] That has nothing to do with anything.

[574] I have been on a trajectory of mastery.

[575] Will you tell people what was your martial arts?

[576] No, I will not.

[577] Oh, that's even deeper than the alcoholics.

[578] No, it felt like a gratuitous ask.

[579] I'm passing on that question.

[580] You know what?

[581] I'm glad you're passing because then we would just probably end up debating different martial arts.

[582] arts.

[583] And who the fuck wants to listen to that?

[584] And you would be incorrect about all of it.

[585] So it would be I concede.

[586] I concede.

[587] I idolize you.

[588] I concede.

[589] I won't try to dominate you to get you to like me. Next what happens in our story, which is really, really important to me is I get to be in one of your movies.

[590] And you're a big part of why I got to be in that movie, the judge.

[591] That was 10 years ago.

[592] Do you realize that?

[593] Like right now, that was 10 years ago.

[594] Because Lincoln was three months old or something when she came to set.

[595] I just figured that out this morning.

[596] And then I had a panic attack.

[597] Then I drank more coffee and now I'm back.

[598] You are as well -rounded and capable an actor as I have or will ever work with.

[599] Oh, come on.

[600] And I think you wouldn't hear it for me because you already knew that I loved you.

[601] But I think by the time you could tell that Duval was acknowledging you.

[602] Now, part of it was that you were at close proximity to him.

[603] And his lawyer in the scene.

[604] But even better as when I could tell, he would start talking shit about me and you would go along with it, which is when I actually finally felt perfect.

[605] Your job was done.

[606] Probably the highlight of that whole experience was Billy Bob Thornton saying the internal dialogue of DeVall while he was sitting there in the courtroom and it went something like this.

[607] I don't know how that horse bucked a wrecks.

[608] He's a hell of a cowboy.

[609] I got to try that sushi place that Downey's talking about.

[610] Says it's number one in the country, but I didn't like it the first time.

[611] I got to try that again.

[612] To watch Billy Bob just narrate what he was thinking.

[613] I don't think I've ever seen anything better.

[614] That's the other thing, too.

[615] I love this idea of, you know, I'm number one on the call sheet.

[616] It's called The Judge.

[617] It's about Duval, but it's my fucking movie.

[618] Now, Duval is the legendary artist in this movie.

[619] You come in, you start kind of like getting in Duval's Good Graces, which is damn near impossible.

[620] And I'm like, this is good because you're, really fucking good.

[621] And then there's Billy Bob that is so in his own category as a person, a human, and an actor that you go like, no matter how good any of us think we are, we always want to just be who we are and where we are.

[622] There's always this tertiary element, which is if you seek the opportunity, the opportunity to just appreciate someone like Billy Bob.

[623] Who's floating in on a magic carpet.

[624] Yes.

[625] Yeah, but also by his own admission, the most neurotic.

[626] person will ever meet.

[627] So in a way, it's also shows our neurosis informs our ability to do certain things well, maybe even not at the bleeding edge of the cultural expectation, but there is always a cost.

[628] And managing that cost is what makes you cool.

[629] That's what's actually great about Billy Bob is he is as comfortable in his own skin as you could ever be while being very forthright about all of his phobia's fears.

[630] Oggy, can give you one example, and I think he would not mind this.

[631] Here's prime example as he'll go like, you know, to move out of that hotel room.

[632] There's too much fabric in there.

[633] I was thinking all that diseases and everything that's so much fabric, so much fabric, you know, with all those pathogens and airborne pollens.

[634] So that's what he was wrestling with.

[635] If you're lucky in life in the middle of any moment where you're being spotlighted, you can imagine how much cooler it would be if the person you're talking about just showed up.

[636] Oh, yeah.

[637] Yeah, yeah.

[638] And that is a guy who, it's impossible that he wouldn't be one of your best interviews ever.

[639] Billy Bob.

[640] Just giving you an idea.

[641] I know.

[642] Maybe you could.

[643] We were going to go to his house out in the West Side at one point.

[644] Yeah, yeah.

[645] By the way, Jane Fonda, great.

[646] The guy that you were all just talking to about the Supreme Court.

[647] Yes, Michael Waldman.

[648] That guy's incredible, no?

[649] I have to tell you, there's a lot of different podcasts out there.

[650] And I love making sport a podcast.

[651] I need to, whatever it is that I'm doing, you know, I need.

[652] to act like...

[653] Elevate it?

[654] Exactly, right?

[655] Yeah, like on Sam Jones, you said you hate impressionist solely because you can't do any impressions.

[656] Yes.

[657] But that, to me, was so definitive because you were bringing something where you are so prepared.

[658] When you say we're not experts, truth be told is everybody loves an expert, but to be a generalist where you can actually hold these kind of conversations for the laymen, I'll call myself just for five seconds, the layman, who's in his dry sauna.

[659] Yes, yes, yes.

[660] For 40 minutes just going, wow, I didn't really know any of this.

[661] And this is so important.

[662] Agreed.

[663] Was that the most challenging role of your career playing the layman for 30 seconds?

[664] Challenging.

[665] By the way, you are going to be my vocal coach for this next job I do.

[666] I'll tell you why offline.

[667] All I have to do is listen to you, do this endless advertisement copy.

[668] I could just use it, but I would rather give you the honor of actually, might be my acting coach, too.

[669] Oh, my God.

[670] I have so many hats on this next.

[671] Yeah.

[672] Well, the acting part, is this for Vertigo?

[673] Am I going to be somehow involved in Hitchcock now?

[674] You dragging me to all the greatest parties.

[675] I just need you go to the top of really tall buildings and tell me what it's like.

[676] Aren't you honored?

[677] I'm incredibly honored.

[678] What I'd like to do is, what if you could give me the medical condition of Vertigo and make me do all your blocking?

[679] Like, send Shepard up.

[680] He's got really bad vertigo.

[681] Put him on that ladder.

[682] Let's see what would really happen.

[683] First of all, that is literally beneath you.

[684] No. I would want, by the way, and I would take this seriously, too.

[685] Wait, really quick.

[686] Trevor, your friend is here and the producer on Downey's Dream Cars.

[687] He's been with us forever.

[688] The great thing about Trevor was he cold called Team Downey.

[689] Fuck yes.

[690] Oh, I love that.

[691] I've been waiting for someone like you to enter my world like that.

[692] Excuse me. That was me. I know, but you're too rich now.

[693] You don't do a fucking thing.

[694] Oh, she's got the house across the street.

[695] Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

[696] I did buy the house, so I am done.

[697] Yeah, she's done.

[698] Yeah, right.

[699] She's building the house across the street.

[700] Robert.

[701] This is the American dream.

[702] It really is.

[703] Yes.

[704] It really is.

[705] And I think you and I, because this is one of the topics I want to talk about, do we wrap everything up?

[706] Time to switch gears?

[707] I'm sorry, am I running out?

[708] Vertigo is done.

[709] Vertigo done.

[710] It's not vertigo.

[711] I'll tell you what it is, but he is someone from Indiana, Michigan area, and he is a retired detective.

[712] And I want to talk a lot of shit I need to be able to improvise And you are going to be I don't want to say dialect coach That's beneath you You're going to be my acting coach for it Oh my God And can I be on a microphone somewhere In these scenes?

[713] Yeah, okay Can I be your stylist?

[714] Oh, absolutely Okay And will I only wear your small petite frame clothes Correct See that's a new twist on this guy You don't have a lot of retired detectives Who cross -dress in microclothing So many things, yeah It's not just that you dress like a gal.

[715] It's that you dress as a very small gal that doesn't fit you.

[716] I have body dysmorphia.

[717] It's a lot of different things.

[718] Wait, Trevor, that's where we were.

[719] And we cover.

[720] Trevor, yes.

[721] So Trevor Cold called Team Downey, which is incredible.

[722] Yep.

[723] And lo these many years later.

[724] How many?

[725] 11.

[726] You were there during the judge?

[727] Technically, yeah.

[728] Technically, yes.

[729] They didn't let me on set, though.

[730] Yeah, you weren't ready.

[731] Well, truly, you weren't ready.

[732] By the way, I'll tell you, by accident, Trevor wound up being the only assistant.

[733] that has ever been on a Chris Nolan set.

[734] Wow.

[735] Congratulations.

[736] That's huge.

[737] And even for Chris, it was such an anomaly that when he saw him, wondering why I didn't just disappear.

[738] It was almost like that chaplain thing.

[739] And Trevor told me what the moment was like because he had a reason to be there at a important day and I had cleared it.

[740] But I think Trevor wanted to like just put a lampshade on his head and pretend he wasn't there.

[741] Yeah.

[742] But at that point, hair director knew who Trevor was.

[743] And he's not really that uptight.

[744] It's just you make a rule because it's all about discipline.

[745] Anyway, congratulations.

[746] You were in Chris Nolan's eyeline, and you did not have to evaporate.

[747] Wow.

[748] They're strong.

[749] We're going to have you in separately to spill the tea or whatever they say.

[750] You could come on.

[751] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[752] We've all been there.

[753] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[754] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[755] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[756] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[757] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[758] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[759] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[760] Prime members can listen early and ad free on Amazon Music.

[761] What's up, guys, it's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[762] And let me tell you, it's too good.

[763] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[764] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[765] And I don't mean just friends.

[766] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[767] The list goes on.

[768] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[769] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[770] What's that fucking crazy dog of yours name that we met?

[771] Frank.

[772] Are we going to have any cutaways to Frank here at any point?

[773] Always.

[774] We've got like a treasure trove of cutaways, yeah.

[775] You know, if you don't mind that we recycle a few of them.

[776] Wait, we're really going to do that.

[777] We're going to have to add that.

[778] I would appreciate it.

[779] So all I wanted to do, I wanted to thank you publicly, because you were really instrumental in me getting to be in that movie.

[780] I became best buddies with Dinoffrio.

[781] I fucking love him so much.

[782] I know you do too.

[783] That's another.

[784] You could just go down the Dinofrio rabbit hole.

[785] And by the way, No one is going to be more pissed off that you're my acting coach for my next job than Vince Donoff.

[786] Well, no, Jeremy's going to be a little bummed, too.

[787] Jeremy's too busy.

[788] Okay, okay.

[789] Jeremy's too big for us now.

[790] Okay, well, okay, yeah, maybe you'll be his acting coach.

[791] Can I say something to you?

[792] I do need to do a little sidebar.

[793] Day one of shooting almost.

[794] There's a funeral.

[795] Jeremy's there.

[796] He's not even working that day, and he's taking pictures and he's in character.

[797] And from jump, everyone would be like, oh, God, look at him.

[798] He's so into it and blah, blah, blah.

[799] and look where he is now.

[800] Oh, yeah.

[801] So I always want to say for anyone who wants to cast aspersions or have opinions about what someone's process is, does that process work or not?

[802] Totally.

[803] That's one of my favorite things.

[804] You would have no idea because you just started listening to the show in anticipation of coming here, which I do appreciate that's more work than most people do.

[805] But had you been listening to all 600 episodes, you would know that I regularly use you as an example, which is you have the confidence to go like, look, I've tried every version.

[806] I was Charlie Chaplin, add some, God knows what to the mix, Charlie plus cocaine plus whatever.

[807] But you did that.

[808] You did method.

[809] You lived Charlie Chaplin.

[810] And then you've had total chaos.

[811] I've heard people say that the earpiece is a cheat.

[812] And I've watched you with an earpiece.

[813] And I'm like, I don't know how this guy's doing it.

[814] He's improvving with us.

[815] He's also got all these insane speeches that are coming out perfectly.

[816] You're fucking emotional.

[817] I'm like, I've stood on the business end of it.

[818] And it's insanely moving.

[819] So, yeah, whatever process gets the results.

[820] There's part of what we're doing that's really important and needs to be revered.

[821] And then there's part of what we're doing where we're essentially game show hosts.

[822] And I think that sweet spot between how serious is this really?

[823] But strangely enough, going back to Nolan, the Nolan thing was like being off book for a three -act play.

[824] Oh, my God.

[825] And that's only because I was wondering, am I one of those people who has lost the ability to function because I've become.

[826] I'm so lazy and have so many crutches.

[827] And the answer was a definitive no. I'm intact.

[828] You're fully functional and firing on all six cylinders.

[829] I mean, we knew that within the first five seconds of you coming in here.

[830] I want to apologize for coming in a little scattershot.

[831] And Rob, this coffee is making me ill, but I'm going to finish it because I also know when I saw you in the driveway, you've probably been dreaming about me since you were 14.

[832] 12.

[833] Oh, wow.

[834] Oh, wow.

[835] Right in the puberty transition.

[836] Yeah, those dreams are different.

[837] Confusing.

[838] Do you want to do a three -way leg lock with me and Dax later?

[839] Yes, please.

[840] Okay.

[841] Listen, when this concludes 9 or 10 p .m. tonight, we will be going out into the grass back there, and I'm going to get out of these white slacks, and it's going to be a battle royale.

[842] We're going to see.

[843] The idea that you think it's going to make it to the ground this time is what I find.

[844] Enticing.

[845] I love it.

[846] Okay.

[847] You didn't let me finish public.

[848] thanking you.

[849] You're going to think this is hyperbolic that I'm trying to just flatter you.

[850] This is truly my story.

[851] If I ever wrote an arro biography, this would be part of it.

[852] You fought for me to be in that movie.

[853] I got to be in it.

[854] It was an incredible experience.

[855] Top few of my professional life being in that movie and getting to talk with Duval and meet these people.

[856] It was incredible.

[857] The studio really liked me, as it turned out.

[858] They wanted to see what I wanted to do.

[859] I got to direct chips literally because of that movie.

[860] And what a fucking gift.

[861] I mean, if that little piece doesn't come first, I don't get to do that.

[862] And it was the most incredible thing ever.

[863] And you gave that to me, and I thank you for it, sincerely.

[864] We help each other consciously or not, right?

[865] Which I guess means we also hurt each other consciously or not.

[866] That's the thing to keep an eye on.

[867] Yeah, I guess it goes both ways.

[868] God, this tastes like Frank's asshole.

[869] As you chug it.

[870] Okay.

[871] If you look at that fucking $50 ,000 watch one more time, I'm leaving.

[872] This is the first time I looked at it.

[873] And it's because I'm trying to be conscientious.

[874] Twice would be too many.

[875] This is a $1 ,000 fake old watch.

[876] Okay.

[877] Are you giving me that one?

[878] And it's yours.

[879] I want you to have it.

[880] I'd like you to have this alligator clip.

[881] You know, I, because I have some questions for you, motherfuckers, too.

[882] Oh my God.

[883] Good.

[884] You brought a binder.

[885] I have a crotch full of knickrette rappers.

[886] Yeah, boy, get the two of us together and just someone's got to be walking around the 50 gallon trash can with all the fucking nicotine.

[887] Are you a constant?

[888] No, you are.

[889] Hundreds of pieces of Did he just take the watch off and then put it back on?

[890] I was going to throw it to you and I realized you were out.

[891] Don't think about this answer.

[892] Who's more neurotic, him or me?

[893] I know him better than you.

[894] So I should say you because he'll be mad at me. I won't be mad, but I think you're more neurotic than me. I say this also about you behind your back.

[895] I don't know how we would evaluate it, but let's say that there's a spectrum, zero to 10 for addiction.

[896] And I got it pretty bad.

[897] I think I'm probably an eight.

[898] But I'll give you this credit.

[899] I think you're a 10.

[900] I think you're the most addicky motherfucker I've ever met in my life.

[901] He'll get going on these gums, Monica.

[902] You've never seen anything like it.

[903] He's just endlessly pulling them out and putting them in his mouth and putting more in.

[904] You can get wild.

[905] That's funny that you say that because when I watched the movie, Senior, I thought, oh, his addiction is more based in his life or like his youth as opposed to his chemicals.

[906] I thought the opposite.

[907] Oh, you thought, like, genetically.

[908] But just think his dad, we learned in senior, an addict.

[909] First of all, she's right.

[910] Oh, okay, great.

[911] So let's just go on that basis.

[912] Thank you.

[913] Wonderful.

[914] There we go.

[915] Then I have no follow -up.

[916] Is that going to be okay for you?

[917] Absolutely.

[918] Her win is my win.

[919] We're a team.

[920] But you're the same.

[921] You're the same with the gum.

[922] You guys are probably on the same level.

[923] That's what I'm saying is if you put us in his trailer with an espresso machine and unlimited nicotine, I'm just saying, lock the door.

[924] Yeah.

[925] Because it's going to all get consumed in the next hour and a half.

[926] The great thing about us is from the time we've met, we have been on the same trajectory of there has never been a night where you and I were going to go into the fuzzy deeps of shadow play.

[927] We have been basically sound of mind, best as we could be.

[928] Yeah.

[929] Since we met, and we've been on that path.

[930] There are just two worlds.

[931] There's the shadow world and there's this.

[932] Yeah.

[933] Mm -hmm.

[934] That's it.

[935] Yeah.

[936] And you're trying, I'm trying to have the, I still need something.

[937] I need to be wrestling my caffeine consumption or my nicotine.

[938] I got to be busy with that.

[939] Yeah.

[940] Well, what I also like look around at the people that are charged with Till Death do us part with you, you know, wife, kids, closest associates.

[941] If they are at peace with how we're clucking along, no matter how much coal we're shoving into our weirdo little engine, it's like you go, okay, I always look for when are the people closest to me seeming out of balance because of my lack of integrity.

[942] That's when I know, all right, I got to shift something here.

[943] We're all just weird animals.

[944] It's fun.

[945] Yeah.

[946] Okay, that actually brings me to Senior.

[947] I text you today telling you, I watched it while I was working out and was totally crying while lifting.

[948] I recommend I was deadlifting quite a bit away with tears streaming down my faces.

[949] I watch you and your father in the bed.

[950] I had the same thing.

[951] You know, My dad got diagnosed with cancer in August.

[952] I was with them nonstop in Michigan.

[953] He died December 31st.

[954] So it was like three months of 2012.

[955] Yeah, I remember.

[956] Yep.

[957] So much of it reminded me of that experience.

[958] And it's such a multifaceted experience for me. And I'm going to guess for you, which is first and foremost, the amount of gratitude I have that I was there is maybe the apex of gratitude.

[959] I can't believe I was there and I did it right.

[960] I have done so many things wrong and there's so many moments in my life I couldn't have been there.

[961] But just to get to do that is an enormous gift.

[962] Would you agree?

[963] 100%.

[964] And again, speaking of partnerships, I initially started thinking of conceiving, letting senior happen kind of as a defense mechanism and an avoidance technique, I realize now.

[965] And then at a certain point between Chris Smith and Kevin Ford and then really, Susan had this moment where she goes, you know, you can't make a senior documentary like a senior movie, like the last hour for us.

[966] This very disjointed, nonlinear kind of fest.

[967] She goes, you have to think of this in a three -act structure and you have to start thinking about your closure with your dad, whether it's monitored or not, because otherwise, forget that it won't make sense to anyone who ever watches it.

[968] It won't make sense to you.

[969] And so that last trip to New York and the fact that Exton, our son, wanted to go, it was almost like, I got to do it with a generation of downies that are untouched by the ugliness of addiction.

[970] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[971] And so it's almost like I needed to be filmed, monitored, and graded doing it in order to do it.

[972] And by the way, so did your dad.

[973] Yeah.

[974] Which is even deeper.

[975] It's wild to see how much movies is your dad's life.

[976] he couldn't frame anything outside of that.

[977] Well, that's what we realized, too, was he was only going to talk to us through the language of what film he was doing at that point in his life.

[978] And because at the end, the film he was doing was the film about his life, he needed to do something else because it made no sense.

[979] It wasn't a film he was doing.

[980] Yeah.

[981] I mean, look, you know, it was very Pirandello, play within the play, all that stuff.

[982] But the crazy thing is being at the Castro Theater in San Francisco.

[983] where he had gone up for one of his films premiered or there might have been Greaser's Palace in like 72.

[984] And I realized that that film had screened there and now I'm watching a screening of Senior from the back looking at it on the screen with these kind of like set pieces and stuff back there.

[985] And I had one of those definitive quantum moments.

[986] And sometimes you have these on set, sometimes you have them in life or you have them in transitions to life or you just go, just stand here.

[987] If you can understand this, because this is actually what life is.

[988] If you're lucky, you get to actually just stand there for a second and see this thing and you hold space and time and grief, nuts.

[989] Yeah, it's really beautiful.

[990] The thing that I started crying, thinking about is it felt to me like the movie was maybe one last ditch effort to understand your dad as we tried to understand our dads and ourselves.

[991] That's the journey, right?

[992] Yeah.

[993] Even your dad says it in the movie.

[994] He's like, I have no clue who I am and I'm not going to know.

[995] By the way, were you trying to lure me in with a Fugazi so I could tell you you're wearing a really cool watch and you could tell me it was low rent.

[996] Are you trying to play?

[997] I wanted to admit to you that it's a fake gold watch.

[998] That's all I didn't want to be deceptive to you.

[999] It's a fake gold watch.

[1000] So you wore it so that I would ask you and you would tell me it was a fake.

[1001] I wear it every day, every single day, whether you're here or not.

[1002] And by the way, also, we exist when you're not here.

[1003] Do you know that, Robert?

[1004] It doesn't seem necessary.

[1005] When you're not here, we're still here.

[1006] Can you believe that?

[1007] That's your mistake.

[1008] Well, now you fucked up the most important thing I wanted to say about the senior.

[1009] I know what you're doing.

[1010] I doubt it.

[1011] Monica?

[1012] He's trying to avoid this.

[1013] I'm not.

[1014] We'll get back to it.

[1015] Okay.

[1016] Do you have it?

[1017] Because I don't want you to listen.

[1018] I thought it was so beautiful that your son, how old was he?

[1019] 11, 12?

[1020] He's 11 now, so he was 8 .5, 9.

[1021] And with clarity saying, I want to be there so that I have memories.

[1022] for when he passes to hear a very small person be able to articulate that showing the growth between the three generations truly maybe the only growth no it's not that's not true you see the vulnerability increase throughout those generations and that's the moment where you're like oh yeah it's compounding it's been done the growth is compounded yes and now let me because we're all in this same kind of business where we're always doing something and we're here in this moment But I try to always divorce myself from the idea of what will it be like when this is a product.

[1023] But from the second I saw that scene with Exton, where he says that in the whole audience just gets choked.

[1024] Yes.

[1025] I was like, we got him.

[1026] And I hate to say it because there I went back again.

[1027] But you're doing two things.

[1028] I'm doing two things.

[1029] You have to do two things.

[1030] And in that moment, I was like, you know, I think act three in this thing is really going to work.

[1031] And by the way, act three is my fucking dad dying.

[1032] Yeah, no, it really works.

[1033] Act three is a rocket ship, dude.

[1034] That's when I started crying.

[1035] You got Cat Stevens montage, fucked me up.

[1036] That's right.

[1037] And then you got Nick Drake.

[1038] Fuck you.

[1039] What a cheap shot.

[1040] Nick Drake.

[1041] Come on.

[1042] We're dusting off Nick Drake to fuck with Dax while he's lifting his weights, trying to get big, be a big boy, press his friend Robert.

[1043] I know.

[1044] Let me tell you what, my conclusion now that you've avoided it.

[1045] To me, it felt like you were trying another attempt at really understanding this man. Your father was very interesting and original and peculiar.

[1046] And I think if I had to sum up what he might have said, and this is what made me cry, I think his point of view was, life is a hundred year long joke.

[1047] And then in the scene, I realized, no, it's a fucking tragedy.

[1048] We live in a fucking tragedy.

[1049] You love people.

[1050] They die.

[1051] You die.

[1052] Everyone loves you.

[1053] And you try to laugh your way through it.

[1054] You try to joke because it is a tragedy.

[1055] But it catches up with us all the time.

[1056] The joke turns on us a lot.

[1057] I mean, even like, when you discover drugs, you're like, yes, what a joke.

[1058] This is hilarious.

[1059] Now I feel like a cartoon character.

[1060] You know, now I'm really getting one over on the universe.

[1061] I'm having a blast in this technicolor kaleidoscopic dream of mine.

[1062] And then it catches up with you because, again, it's a fucking tragedy.

[1063] The joyful participation in the suffering of mankind is really what I got.

[1064] And you can either laugh or cry through the whole thing.

[1065] We know where it's going.

[1066] The other day, I sent some really, I thought, very funny.

[1067] I'll play them for you after the bit.

[1068] And somebody said, oh, this is going to be an Exton's movie, Jr., about you.

[1069] That definitely crossed my mind, too, is that you will most certainly, and you'll have to be, a subject of his exploration of you.

[1070] Who even knows what a documentary will be like in 30 years?

[1071] That's true.

[1072] I think it'll all come around.

[1073] I really liked about the movie.

[1074] It means it's so beautiful, of course.

[1075] But the beginning is a little, like, what's going on?

[1076] You are like, I don't...

[1077] It's like his movies.

[1078] Well, exactly.

[1079] And kind of, I think, his life.

[1080] Like you said, it's chaos and you're going from one thing to another and he's directing within the directing.

[1081] And it's like, what is going on?

[1082] And then at some point, it becomes lucid and moving and poignant.

[1083] And I feel like, oh, that's the trajectory of his life.

[1084] It kind of mirrors that in a beautiful way, I think, whether you did it on purpose or not.

[1085] Well, Susan Downey was involved.

[1086] so the execution of that cut is very purposeful.

[1087] And Chris Smith, he and Susan really hit it off.

[1088] They're both just really high -level thinkers.

[1089] It was so funny, when you're saying that, I was just thinking it's kind of like life.

[1090] It starts off like this confluence of probabilities.

[1091] And then as it gets more and more real and closer and closer to its finite nature, hopefully, if you're lucky, I'd much rather have it begin in chaos or even begin with promise, descend into chaos, and reorganize at a higher level.

[1092] As opposed to it being reversed.

[1093] Yeah.

[1094] Where life just gets more, more, more on tethered and chaotic.

[1095] We know those stories and we saw them.

[1096] I mean, just even look back from 2020 until quote unquote last month.

[1097] How many relationships in the crucible of the pandemic became the chaos that wasn't managed and then other things kind of fused together in a way that I think was probably better than if it hadn't happened.

[1098] Yeah, if you made it through.

[1099] I barely made it through.

[1100] That was a wild stretch.

[1101] And isn't it great to you?

[1102] Like, none of that matters.

[1103] I remember at the time reflecting on you because you know, this idea that you get long -term recovery and that it is like a treasury bond is the biggest joke in the world.

[1104] However, as humans, I think we're conditioned to say this thing that seems stable, I can absolutely count on it to be a solid, unmovable object.

[1105] and so in another way I hate to say it but what a great service I did for so many people for so many years when I showed this is how messy things can get this is how quickly they can get that messy this is how much freedom you can lose in a short amount of time why don't I volunteer for that let me act that out for all like no no I didn't put my hand up no your hand was up yeah but it wasn't consciously up and consciously doesn't matter that's not how things work around here.

[1106] Can I ask you one question about jail?

[1107] I had one question about jail.

[1108] Yeah.

[1109] I've never asked you about jail.

[1110] Oh, I actually have two questions.

[1111] But one is, how long were you in there before you actually accepted?

[1112] Oh, I'm actually in here.

[1113] I can imagine myself, because the denial muscle in us is the strongest, especially if we're at apex addiction, right?

[1114] Yeah.

[1115] Zionitis hasn't happened.

[1116] Those are police lights behind me. They're not going to give me a breathalyzer.

[1117] I'm not carrying any.

[1118] You're just in denial of everything.

[1119] I'm curious, like, how long before.

[1120] I'm going to see if, without thinking about it, I'm just going to try to give you the flashcards.

[1121] Yeah.

[1122] I'm in court.

[1123] I'm being over -sentenced by an angry judge.

[1124] And at some point, he said something in Latin.

[1125] Oh, boy.

[1126] And I thought he was casting a spell on them.

[1127] And he was.

[1128] Two weeks later, I'm in a place called Delano, which is a receiving center where they decide where you're going to go.

[1129] arguably the most dangerous place I've ever been in my life because nobody is designated if they're a level one, two, three, or four everyone's there.

[1130] Yes, and you could just feel the evil in the air and that was no trouble at all because it was kind of like just being in a really bad neighborhood and there was no opportunity there, there was only threats.

[1131] So yes, everyone is going to take your wallet so watch it and I remember walking out at one point when I popped out out of my cell to go to the shower.

[1132] By the way, this would be the best sound bite.

[1133] And I didn't know it, but I was a little spun out, and I had my underwear on backwards.

[1134] Uh -oh.

[1135] That put the entry chairy.

[1136] An invitation, really.

[1137] Yes, and I remember eliciting some strong chuckles and jeers from my fellow inmates.

[1138] And once I had gotten through that, then I was transferred.

[1139] And then the rest was walking onto the yard that you're going to be doing more than a year on for the first time.

[1140] The closest thing I can associate it to is to being sent to a distant planet where there is no way home until the planet's aligned.

[1141] But the short answer is two weeks.

[1142] And I would say this, I hate to say it, about anything for anyone regarding any transition.

[1143] Because we are programmed to within a short amount of time be able to adjust to things that are seemingly impossible, And for me, there's worse things that could have happened than being sent to an institution by far.

[1144] Sure.

[1145] However, we can only go by what we know.

[1146] And I would imagine, if I had to guess, that was the worst thing that happened to me. Yeah.

[1147] Day 15 was a ball.

[1148] Oh, my God.

[1149] By day 15, I'm playing.

[1150] Literally, by day 15, I'm dialed in.

[1151] Yeah, this is my question.

[1152] What was your strategy?

[1153] The most important thing.

[1154] Because you're very cute.

[1155] Thanks, hon. I was quite nervous for you.

[1156] As long as you have the willingness to do harm, it is unlikely.

[1157] that you will be targeted.

[1158] So it really is that thing of what is the difference between acting like you're willing to do harm and actually being willing to do harm.

[1159] I remember the extreme example, and whoever said this is an idiot, they go, always have a plan to kill whoever you mate.

[1160] Which was probably one of those, like, safety experts who was like a black ops guy or whatever.

[1161] It's like, fuck, shut up.

[1162] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1163] Yeah, I hear a lot of that stuff.

[1164] Yeah, I bet.

[1165] Yeah, two weeks.

[1166] Okay.

[1167] How did you friend up with people?

[1168] How did you decide?

[1169] Okay, I'm going to try to pal up.

[1170] Motherfucker, you don't have friends in your joint.

[1171] You got acquaintances.

[1172] Okay, how'd you pick your acquaintances?

[1173] What's this character's name, by the way?

[1174] Clyde Bowen.

[1175] I've been in and out of 32 maximum penitentiaries.

[1176] Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

[1177] I'm Cliff Bowvine or Clyde.

[1178] I love Bovine.

[1179] Just to wrap this up, there's a handball court Depending on what the politics were Is when whatever your particular pigmentation was Had access to that court And like anything, did you ever see Midnight Express?

[1180] Oh, yes.

[1181] It's kind of like you could say, How long did it take him to get used to being in a Turkish prison?

[1182] Two weeks.

[1183] Okay, that's the biggest fear I think I've ever had That I've, by the grace of God, avoided.

[1184] It's shocking I never was in there I think I would have gotten killed.

[1185] I'm telling you right now, you would have been fine.

[1186] Oh, wow.

[1187] Maybe I'll go.

[1188] Okay, we're getting into Downey's Dream Cars now.

[1189] Seniors incredible.

[1190] Is it nominated?

[1191] It's going to be nominated?

[1192] We don't know how that works.

[1193] Do we know?

[1194] Is this the season?

[1195] First of all...

[1196] I want to cast my vote then.

[1197] Great, great.

[1198] First of all, who fucking cares?

[1199] Sure.

[1200] Second of all, if and when it goes down this trajectory, I'll get behind it.

[1201] I think Chris Smith is one of our great American stories.

[1202] Was he in it?

[1203] You see him once or twice, but I mean, back to American movie.

[1204] Oh, my God.

[1205] To Jim and Andy.

[1206] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[1207] To 100 -foot wave, to execting Tiger King.

[1208] He also did American Home, which is an incredibly weird documentary about four bizarre homes.

[1209] I urge you to watch it.

[1210] Oh.

[1211] One of the dudes designed the world of tomorrow at Disneyland in the 60s, and he turned his whole house into a world of tomorrow.

[1212] And he can drive his recliner around the living room when he crashes it.

[1213] Oh, wow.

[1214] You would love it.

[1215] Even things I don't know about him and I'm crazy about everything.

[1216] He is an incredible person and it would be meaningful to me for anything that came his way as a result.

[1217] Yes, yes.

[1218] I already got a fucking Emmy.

[1219] I don't need another one.

[1220] For?

[1221] I don't remember what for.

[1222] Allie McBeal?

[1223] Probably.

[1224] Are you almost an EGOT?

[1225] Not just yet.

[1226] What do you need?

[1227] Grammy.

[1228] We'll get you one.

[1229] We'll get you one for this podcast.

[1230] Oh my God.

[1231] It's not impossible.

[1232] It's not.

[1233] I've got like three questions I would never ask you in real life.

[1234] but now that I have you sequestered here.

[1235] I'm here to help.

[1236] But can I say something?

[1237] Can I just do a quick assessment of this episode?

[1238] Yeah.

[1239] I don't know what we've got in the first half hour.

[1240] I think it's fucking trash.

[1241] No, you're wrong.

[1242] I'm going to leave it to you.

[1243] And I know I'm wrong, but I also want to lead into the wrongness because this thing needs to fucking hum from jump.

[1244] This is because you grew up in a movie house and all you can do is see.

[1245] Your brain is formatted.

[1246] That is how your brain works.

[1247] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1248] You're going to have to trust us that we know how these work.

[1249] Is there a crawl?

[1250] What's that?

[1251] Like a credits crawl?

[1252] Are we just starting with action?

[1253] Because I don't see where that is if we want to do that.

[1254] There'll be some light chit -chat off, Mike, and then Monocles seamlessly in a great that.

[1255] It's going really well.

[1256] Yeah.

[1257] This is an incredible.

[1258] I mean, of course, I don't show up for things that don't go well.

[1259] All right.

[1260] I do have some questions, though, that have been burning a hole in my...

[1261] Boring alert.

[1262] Let's go.

[1263] Okay.

[1264] You have to forgive me. I'm from Michigan on a dirt road.

[1265] Hollywood was a very exciting thing for me. The outsiders was a very exciting thing.

[1266] for me. Everything that was happening in the 80s and movies was very fucking exciting.

[1267] So for me, forgive me, the notion that all of you were going to the same high school, to Santa Monica High School.

[1268] And then I have a director from Parenthood who told me he was once in a class Ced between you and Rob Lowe.

[1269] And his chances of getting a girl to look at him were fucking 0 .0%.

[1270] To me is so amusing.

[1271] What, you had the Sheen brothers at Sam Ohai?

[1272] We had Ramon Estevez, who is the most eccentric of the Sheen brothers.

[1273] He taught me how to tap dance when we did Oklahoma the musical.

[1274] Oh, my Lord.

[1275] He is one of the all -time great humans on Earth.

[1276] Do we have the Penn brothers there?

[1277] They were gone.

[1278] Sean's older than you.

[1279] Yeah.

[1280] Charlie might have just been coming in.

[1281] Me and Ramon were in the same grade.

[1282] Rob was there.

[1283] Chris might have been out I think that some of that is storied because it's in like a roughly somewhere near class of 83 sure but I wouldn't know because I never graduated and by the way I wasn't looking around going I wonder what other motherfuckers here are going to be of notes down the road my money's on this guy I was scaling the fence after I did a teacher's assistant with Mr. Jellison the greatest theater arts teacher of all time and leave, and by the way, there were easier ways to get out.

[1284] It was just the only place that I knew they weren't going to be expecting me to try to ditch school.

[1285] It had to have been a 35 or 40 foot tall chain link fence.

[1286] I would ditch school, I would go, smoke a joint.

[1287] I would come back in around fourth, fifth period because Jean -A Gravino, the object of my affection, had a typing class that I would try to bust into.

[1288] You'd have thought I'd have learned at least to type.

[1289] No. Were all the girls, just be honest, they were obsessed with you?

[1290] No. Besides Jenae?

[1291] Because that's why you wanted her?

[1292] We should do a whole other episode just about Jenae, but there was one point where I want to say my life is due to three girls from Santa Monica High School.

[1293] Kelly McRennolds, Amber Gilbert, and most importantly, Heidi Kozak.

[1294] Okay.

[1295] I think there was at one point where I thought I was dating all three of them, then they found out, and they all decided to get together and ditch me. It literally was like a sitcom, but it was a huge lesson that I still haven't learned.

[1296] Having only one object of your desire?

[1297] Don't fuck with cats.

[1298] Yeah.

[1299] See, that's actually, if I'm being dead honest, you want to pull a curtain fully back?

[1300] One thing about you that confuses me to no end is you actually don't seem to have that gear.

[1301] In your scumbaggery toolkit?

[1302] No. That's not your thing.

[1303] No. We have never been together where like a beautiful woman is walked by and you've been like, you know, or whatever, even obligatory knowledgement.

[1304] It's gross and it's weird and it's very typical.

[1305] But you don't fight it, right?

[1306] Like I always say, I feel very lucky I don't have a food addiction or a gambling addiction, which is shocking because anything I enjoy I'm going to be addicted to.

[1307] Yeah.

[1308] Very much sex addicty, love addicty, for sure, for me. But I don't sense that in you and that's always been peculiar to me. Yeah, I don't know why I've always been in long -term relationships.

[1309] And then after Susan Downey, by the way, it helps that by the time we met, I was in my late 30s, she was in her late 20s, and we would be like at LAX.

[1310] I'd be like, do you and your daughter need help getting through the thing?

[1311] And I'd be like, oh, this is so fucking hot.

[1312] So it's never one thing.

[1313] Half of it is she's hot and great.

[1314] She also isn't typical and that she's not effusive.

[1315] She doesn't dress suggestively.

[1316] So there's this thing that's very private.

[1317] just save for me. And then when she opens the spigot, it's gnarly.

[1318] And then there's all the things.

[1319] I look at it the exact same way I look at taking a drink.

[1320] What could possibly be the upside of convincing myself one more time that that would be worth it?

[1321] And therefore, I don't need to recoil as though from a hot flame.

[1322] That's an oven.

[1323] You're not even drawn to the hot flame at this point.

[1324] You've been relieved of the obsession.

[1325] I think there's been times because I also think where are you at?

[1326] like I'll be 60 in a couple years.

[1327] I think in my early 40s to 50, I was probably wondering, shouldn't I be getting all kinds of dirt done?

[1328] And shouldn't I just even just be giving a pass for that?

[1329] I mean, look at this.

[1330] Yes, yes, yes.

[1331] And then you get to a certain age and you go like, you know what?

[1332] No one's doing any way favors here.

[1333] We disagree on that.

[1334] I think there would be a fucking line like they were opening up a crispy creams in the 90s.

[1335] By the way, if you put hot donuts now.

[1336] And you know what?

[1337] I also love when someone else has it, But you've got the big Zaddy thing going on right now.

[1338] And I'm just like, let him have it.

[1339] Yeah, but as you say, you have to monitor that.

[1340] You don't look at your DMs.

[1341] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1342] I have to.

[1343] I know when should look at their DMs.

[1344] I have to have a game plan.

[1345] Yes.

[1346] Like everything else.

[1347] I don't need a game plan.

[1348] It's really simple.

[1349] As soon as I feel mildly activated, I go lock myself in a room.

[1350] Okay.

[1351] That's a good policy.

[1352] Yeah.

[1353] Isn't Kristen coming in here to say that we've got to wrap this thing up?

[1354] I thought she had ideas.

[1355] She pulled a no show on us.

[1356] That's to make us both want her more because she committed to coming in a few times.

[1357] That's true.

[1358] Yeah.

[1359] And by the way, you know what?

[1360] I wouldn't want to confuse the audience into imagining that I have some superior moral code.

[1361] This is all a result of having had my ass handed to me so many times that I don't question.

[1362] It's not appealing anymore.

[1363] I have that feeling about many things.

[1364] I was just talking to my therapist about it today.

[1365] I told you I had to go to therapy immediately after seeing senior.

[1366] Thank God that was scheduled.

[1367] Now, were you still pump an iron for that?

[1368] I lift during all my...

[1369] That's what you're asking.

[1370] Just the app work.

[1371] Okay, who did you envy in that period growing up?

[1372] Like, what actor were you kind of monitoring going, I should be that person?

[1373] Matt Dillon.

[1374] Oh, perfect!

[1375] What a great pick.

[1376] And I also got to know him.

[1377] And I just saw him, is the show called High Desert?

[1378] With Patricia Arquette.

[1379] Yeah, I just saw him in that.

[1380] He looks insanely handsome still.

[1381] I know.

[1382] But when I first knew him, he took me under his wing.

[1383] He had this place on Elizabeth Street that was run by an Eastern medicine doctor that was just really cool.

[1384] And I would leave his house.

[1385] And when we'd come back later, there would be all of these things on the door with like girls who had put their phone number on.

[1386] I mean, he was a level of stardom, intrigue, and being pursued that I think was on that Elvis, Beatles, Marilyn Monroe type level.

[1387] Yeah.

[1388] And by the way, I don't mean to sidebar too much, but I saw the Brooks Shields documentary and I realized too that I did get to know her a little bit and I got to run into her strangely in Thailand about a month ago.

[1389] But it kind of goes like this, Elvis, Marilyn, the Beatles, Michael Jackson, Brook Shields.

[1390] Yeah, that doc was crazy.

[1391] Yeah.

[1392] And I think the interesting thing about the documentary space is it can be manipulated to give you a false narrative.

[1393] but if you just pay attention and use your own discernment and just check in with how you feel about it you go you're right on my five fingers there were this now going back to your question matt dillon for sure dustin hoffman a million percent merrill streep because i realize she's got this other thing where she's american but she's really strong with dialect she's clearly focused enough and versatile enough to keep going from one thing to the next and it's always her but it's always a new version of her that you now take as being the character.

[1394] Peter O'Toole, just because Lawrence of Arabia changed my life.

[1395] And if I have to pick a fifth one, did I say Matt Dillon?

[1396] Yeah, we started there.

[1397] Okay, let's begin and end.

[1398] Let's begin and end with Matt Dillon.

[1399] I'm with you.

[1400] Again, dude, this guy is so underrated.

[1401] If you look at what he was doing in the Outsiders in Rumble Fish, and stuff he's done since up and way past something about Mary.

[1402] Remember that he wasn't beautiful girls out of nowhere?

[1403] Of course.

[1404] Oh.

[1405] He was someone who I always saw was like working with great directors and he was picking up from them, but he always had his own version of True North where it wasn't about starting an argument.

[1406] It was about always trying to make space for himself while still being agreeable with everybody else, all the while managing immense stardom.

[1407] How do you feel about Nicholas Cage?

[1408] I think he is in a category of his own.

[1409] I'm so glad to hear you said that.

[1410] Yeah, the same way that Billy Bob is.

[1411] That's the great thing is I think you and I are, I don't know.

[1412] Go ahead and speak for me. I'm flattered by it.

[1413] I think you and I and a bunch of other people are all in this kind of middle space.

[1414] And sometimes some of us are the ones in the middle doing the dancing on the cardboard and the rest of us are going out.

[1415] And then you have people who perpetually operate as these satellite entities, Billy Bob, Nicholas Cage, Crispin Glover, this and that.

[1416] And then I want to go back too because I just saw the Michael Fox documentary.

[1417] To Toro for sure.

[1418] Oh.

[1419] I would be remiss not to say this.

[1420] Of my generation, the most unappreciated actor technically is Michael J. Fox.

[1421] If you look at what he was able to do up through during and passed his diagnosis, but forget medical conditions.

[1422] We're all going to be taken down by something.

[1423] None of that matters.

[1424] All that matters is what is in your eyes.

[1425] And that fucking dude, no one has ever understood.

[1426] camera, timing, emotion, control, confidence, and also being someone who had to jump out of their stature for you to treat them as an equal in a very heightest, sexist, this, that society.

[1427] He transcended all that.

[1428] He did it all.

[1429] What a great pick.

[1430] I would also say one of those people who's outside the box, Eric Stoltz.

[1431] Oh.

[1432] Eric Stoltz is amazing.

[1433] In a way, he was too amazing.

[1434] to do something that mainstream.

[1435] So that's the weird thing.

[1436] Yes, you're right.

[1437] Like, why didn't Nicholas Cage ever do Superman?

[1438] Well, he was going to, but in a way, he can't ever come into this place where the rest of us are kind of dancing.

[1439] Funny behind the scenes thing.

[1440] One time we were just chatting, and I said, oh, this reminds me one of my favorite movies.

[1441] You ever see this movie Firstborn?

[1442] You're like, yeah, I was in Firstborn.

[1443] By the way, and you know what I was perpetually?

[1444] I thought my role in life was to be cast as Milo.

[1445] his offbeat buddy.

[1446] That was it.

[1447] So what are you doing this?

[1448] Oh, I play Milo as offbeat buddy.

[1449] It's a niche industry.

[1450] I'm kind of nailing.

[1451] That was how you saw yourself.

[1452] It was more than enough because these were real movies.

[1453] They weren't my dad's indie weirdo.

[1454] Like, everybody pitched in five grand.

[1455] And, you know, we shot for another two weeks.

[1456] The other career thing for you, I want to say before we do Downey's Cars, which I promise is absolutely right next.

[1457] You made me promises, promises.

[1458] Do, do, do, da, da, do.

[1459] Oh, we got a duet.

[1460] That's how we're opening.

[1461] What a good song.

[1462] Promises, promises.

[1463] It is a great song.

[1464] I forgot to say one thing about your dad.

[1465] Again, this stuck with me. You said it.

[1466] It wasn't in the documentary, but I heard you one time say that your dad told you everyone can act, some people can direct, and nobody can write.

[1467] Yep.

[1468] And I'm like, boom.

[1469] You talk about that all the time.

[1470] I'm like, that sums up this entire racket so perfectly it's insane.

[1471] Yeah.

[1472] Do you think he heard it from somebody?

[1473] or he just came to that on his own.

[1474] It's so good.

[1475] You know what?

[1476] I will tell you this here for the first time ever.

[1477] I think...

[1478] You made it up?

[1479] I think I accredited it to him based on an extrapolated from all experience as I ever had from him.

[1480] I got it.

[1481] I think more it's to cover the fact that he would say things to me like, oof, these Marvel movies.

[1482] Wow, tough to watch.

[1483] Act three, act three.

[1484] It's like, Oh, what a misfire, huh?

[1485] Oh, yeah.

[1486] Those good.

[1487] You can do impersonation.

[1488] You're this close to doing Dangerfield.

[1489] I mean, that one is just a hair away from Dangerfield.

[1490] That is fucking third -old.

[1491] Hey, my wife's cooking is so bad.

[1492] The flies pitched in to fix the screen door.

[1493] Ah, you can't do.

[1494] Okay, I do want to say this.

[1495] Are you on a bit of a dip right now?

[1496] I just packed a lipper, but everything's normal.

[1497] Everything's going exactly as planned.

[1498] I want to give you this compliment.

[1499] You're not going to like it.

[1500] It's going to be impossible for you to respond.

[1501] to, but I'm going to say it outlaw because I want everyone in the world to know this.

[1502] Marvel is the most successful thing to happen in the film business, maybe in the history of the film business.

[1503] It's the most incredible thing ever.

[1504] You look at the top 10 movies of all time.

[1505] It's virtually all Marvel, right?

[1506] I'm going to say this is a three -way compliment.

[1507] People may or may not know this about you, but they did not want to hire you for Iron Man. How many people had to pass before they gave you that?

[1508] I wasn't on the list.

[1509] Exactly.

[1510] I couldn't be on the list.

[1511] I was a liability.

[1512] Yeah.

[1513] Oh, no. Bad puppy.

[1514] He likes moogie, shuggy.

[1515] He can't help but powder his nose.

[1516] Because how far out was it from like major addiction?

[1517] Well, it's 0