Flightless Bird: Thanksgiving

[0] Hi, I'm David Farrier, a New Zealander who accidentally got stuck in America, and I want to find out what makes this country tick.

[1] Now, most of the big things you celebrate in America, we also celebrate in New Zealand.

[2] Christmas Day, New Year's, all that stuff.

[3] But one holiday is a complete mystery to me, a day involving family, friends, alcohol, food, whitewash history, and a giant bird.

[4] Thanksgiving is something that hasn't made the 8 ,000 -mile trip from America to New Zealand, so we don't get to partake in the ritualistic eating of a giant poultry bird.

[5] We mostly just do chickens in New Zealand, so maybe that's why I find turkey so impressive.

[6] While a chicken's top running speed is nine miles an hour, a turkey can double that, clocking in at a top speed of 18 miles an hour.

[7] But Americans prefer the turkey dead and on their plate.

[8] The turkey sandwich is the number one thing consumed in airports internationally, but it's a love -hate relationship too when it comes to Thanksgiving.

[9] I've overheard many Americans complaining about the turkey not being moist enough, too dry.

[10] I wanted to go on a quest to find the perfect Thanksgiving turkey as I embark on my first ever American Thanksgiving.

[11] So, get ready together around that table with the people you love while you consume that giant bird sitting in the middle of your table, because this is the Thanksgiving episode.

[12] There's a bird touchdown in America I'm a flyless bird touchdown in America There have been a lot of people complaining to me from New Zealand That I'm giving an incorrect image of New Zealand sometimes Because I paint with quite broad strokes And I say, in New Zealand we don't have this Like with Halloween, when we did the Halloween episode A lot of people in New Zealand said, we have Halloween.

[13] Uh -oh.

[14] Look, we've got Halloween, but it's not.

[15] not like American Halloween.

[16] But Thanksgiving, we don't have an inch of it, just doesn't exist.

[17] So this is a real mindblower for me. I was in New Zealand on Guy Fox Day, which of course I knew nothing about as an American.

[18] And boy, did it look like Fourth of July to me. You had people with fireworks, all out on the side of the street, popping them off.

[19] Yeah, essentially it's a festival celebrating a terrorist, and we celebrate that by letting off a lot of explosions.

[20] Yeah, I thought a rose by any other name is still a rose.

[21] Yeah, Guy Fawkes is our July 4, and we love it.

[22] Litting off fireworks, do you like it or no?

[23] Guy Fawkes, historically right, was a dude who burnt down parliament or something.

[24] What do you do?

[25] He was a terrorist.

[26] And he was against the monarchy.

[27] And so it's their act of rebellion in pursuit of, I guess, a constitutional monarchy.

[28] Did it result in anything?

[29] I don't know the Alton of Guy Foy.

[30] I don't either.

[31] I have no idea.

[32] And that's what anonymous.

[33] You know that those masks anonymous?

[34] Those are Guy Fox masks.

[35] I know.

[36] I know it from V from Vendetta.

[37] They should have put more fireworks and V for Vendetta.

[38] Exactly.

[39] I don't remember that part.

[40] But what's your policy with fireworks and children?

[41] Do you let your kids let off fireworks?

[42] Children are allowed to handle sparklers.

[43] Yeah.

[44] Do you know what a sparkler is?

[45] Yeah, we have those in New Zealand.

[46] Oh, okay.

[47] We had a thing as well, though.

[48] Like kids, we chase each other around and just set them off in our hands and like fire them at people, like explosives.

[49] We do a lot of that stuff.

[50] Yeah.

[51] And that's bad.

[52] This summer on the motorhome trip of the family, as luck would have it, there was an enormous firework.

[53] Emporium.

[54] It had to be 5 ,000 square feet.

[55] I was the only person there.

[56] I always got curious, like, how often are they selling fireworks post 4th of July?

[57] Anyways, this was like mid -August, but I went in, I bought the Cadillac of packages.

[58] I could barely carry this thing.

[59] It had like 10 mortars in it, eight different cannons, all kinds.

[60] The problem is it's sitting under the bus currently.

[61] There's almost no place to deploy these armaments.

[62] When Aaron and I got to Austin, we're staying in the middle of this field, like an Airbnb for camping.

[63] Nobody's out there.

[64] I pop off a couple mortars within five minutes, the person that owns the properties down there, they're upset.

[65] So, drama.

[66] Yeah, there's, I want to fire them off everywhere, but no one's really excited for you to do that.

[67] In America, is it illegal to let them off at any time except 4th of July?

[68] Because in New Zealand, you're not allowed to set them off unless it is Guy Falk.

[69] You're not, it's illegal on 4th of July.

[70] In California, you can't have mortars.

[71] Are you serious?

[72] Yeah, you can have sparklers.

[73] There's like a whole class.

[74] I guess this fly is here, right?

[75] It's state by state, though.

[76] Because in Illinois, we would drive to Wisconsin or Indiana to go get fireworks.

[77] Same with Michigan.

[78] You drive down to Indiana because Michigan, they didn't allow firecrackers, M80s, any of the good stuff.

[79] Yeah, right.

[80] Yeah.

[81] But alas, we're here to talk about Thanksgiving.

[82] Thanksgiving.

[83] Are you getting stressed?

[84] No, I just didn't have anything to offer that.

[85] Oh.

[86] Don't like explosions?

[87] You like turkey.

[88] I love turkey, and I love an airport turkey sandwich.

[89] I'm one of those people.

[90] What a stat, bestseller.

[91] That's a last sandwich I would get at an airport.

[92] Why?

[93] It's so bland, Turkey.

[94] It's so safe.

[95] Because they do stock it everywhere.

[96] I always see them sitting at the airport.

[97] I never buy them, but they're there, so I guess people do buy them.

[98] I assumed it was because they just stay long.

[99] Like, they've got a good shelf life, Turkey.

[100] It's like two months old.

[101] From your point of view, obviously you grew up, watching a lot of American film and television.

[102] A lot.

[103] And every single TV show has a Thanksgiving episode once a year.

[104] So you must have been very familiar with it.

[105] Did it look appealing and inviting?

[106] The thing that got me is how long the table is.

[107] In New Zealand, we don't have tables that go that long.

[108] We don't make them that long.

[109] We don't know where they come from.

[110] It's another dump that you're going to get in trouble for say.

[111] We do have long tables, Faria.

[112] We have the longest tables.

[113] Listen, because you love friends, they're known for their Thanksgiving episodes.

[114] every year.

[115] They have such a good array of Thanksgiving.

[116] I weirdly don't remember any friend's specific thanksgivings.

[117] I remember he comes to Thanksgiving.

[118] He's the feast.

[119] You don't even watch Friends.

[120] I didn't watch it religiously.

[121] I like Chandler Bing and I liked Ross a lot.

[122] That was it.

[123] We all love Ross.

[124] But yeah, no, Thanksgiving, it evoked warm feelings in me. It felt like there'd often be comical scenes around the dinner table.

[125] What was that thing?

[126] I feel like, wasn't Norbert, the one where Eddie Murphy played everyone in the family.

[127] Very funny premise.

[128] I think there was a really good Thanksgiving scene in that film that I remember.

[129] You're just family getting together, eating a lot.

[130] Hilarity ensues.

[131] That's kind of what it is like for me. I think it's also the only holiday with a built -in nap.

[132] It's totally expected for people to nap.

[133] At what time?

[134] About 5 o 'clock.

[135] If you eat at 2 .30, by 4, everyone's like, oh, let's watch the football game.

[136] Everyone's just out cold in a den.

[137] Because Turkey has tripped to fan.

[138] And it makes you sleepy I did not know about that And because I think By the way How sleepy does it make you?

[139] I don't know The point is once we all heard There was a chemical explanation And an excuse Biological people were like Well I can't help it It's got triptophan And then Typically what time do you have The dinner 230 I think My family always did 1 .30 too Okay Wait like four Oh We'd have snacks out During the football game Bears always play on Thanksgiving and then like an early dinner.

[140] That's the other neat thing about the holiday is it's like, let's not do it at breakfast time and let's not do it at lunch and let's not do it at dinner.

[141] Let's go to 30.

[142] Because it's the only meal you're going to have that day because you're eating so much food.

[143] It's a tactical decision.

[144] It is.

[145] It's like you can't eat it too early because then you will get hungry again and you can't eat it too late because you will be starving until then.

[146] But you will take such a deep triptophan and do.

[147] nap that you'll be up kind of late that night and then you get right back into that icebox.

[148] What's the ideal nap time?

[149] If you nap too long, you're falling asleep and then the whole days are right off.

[150] I think an hour is totally standard.

[151] It's not a 20 minute nap.

[152] You hit REM.

[153] Oh, see, I think hitting REM is too far.

[154] I think that's when your day goes off the rails.

[155] Yeah.

[156] Smoking like a true Kiwi.

[157] I took a two hour nap this week.

[158] That's a sleep, Monica.

[159] I know.

[160] I took a sleep in the middle of Just sleep.

[161] You went to bed in the middle of the day.

[162] I went to bed at four today.

[163] I went out and talked to a bunch of other Americans about what they thought about Thanksgiving.

[164] This is their take.

[165] I think of it as family, friends' time, and the food eat everything.

[166] It's like potluck, whatever.

[167] But as long as there's some dressing in mac and cheese, I'm happy.

[168] This is my sign.

[169] So I cook what he wanted.

[170] Stuffing is definitely my favorite side.

[171] Do you have to put the stuffing in the bird, or can you make the stuffing outside?

[172] of the bird?

[173] Because I always found it a bit disgusting that you're like stuffing this bird full of stuffing.

[174] You could do both.

[175] I think I prefer not in the bird, honestly, because I don't really like turkey, to be honest.

[176] That's one thing I don't really eat during Thanksgiving.

[177] I have a bunch of sides.

[178] I don't think we've ever put it in the bird.

[179] I think we just make the big pan of it so we know how much we're going to have.

[180] And it's always something that after I'm full, after a good Thanksgiving dinner at like 11 .30, I'll go back and I'll get more stuffing.

[181] and put melted cheese on it, even though I'm super full, but that's like my own tradition.

[182] Thanksgiving, soup potato pie, for me. Pecan pie.

[183] Turkey, gravy.

[184] Yeah, the turkey can get quite dry.

[185] Yeah, definitely.

[186] Depends who makes it, and the potato salad can't have raisins.

[187] Some people put raisins and potato salad?

[188] There are people, yes.

[189] There are people who do that.

[190] Unfortunately.

[191] Right.

[192] It's fucked up.

[193] I really like corn pudding, which is kind of a weird thing that maybe they don't have other places.

[194] It's like milk and like cream corn and you kind of bake it.

[195] Okay, now that I think about it, it's like a weird texture but I don't know, it's like a little bit sweet but savory.

[196] It's actually really good.

[197] Sloppy or solid?

[198] When you bake it, the top is solid, but when you cut into it, it's more liquidy.

[199] It sounds really gross now that I'm describing it, but it's delicious.

[200] In the Midwest, we have a lot of like casseroles like that, corn pudding.

[201] Green bean casserole is famous, but But it's only good, in my opinion, if you do it out of fresh green beans and stuff.

[202] If you use the canned, no, not the canned.

[203] The sides make the meal for sure.

[204] I mean, turkey almost always ends up a little bit dry.

[205] There's some traditional sides, but every family kind of has their own special sides that they prefer or different ways that they cook things.

[206] So, like in the south, you'll find mac and cheese is a really common side.

[207] But where I'm from on the east coast, up north, macon cheese is not as popular as a side.

[208] what i learned is that food is really the focus as opposed to the giving of the thanks oh yeah no i thought that was like a big part of it you know but it's just eating well but hold on you do give thanks well at the at the dinner yeah which is completely unconventional i don't know that i'm ever at another meal where people pause to give thanks so it is novel in that way i guess unless you're praying to god or something you're not really ever giving thanks are you not everyone does it We do it at our friend's givings.

[209] We go around and say.

[210] Oh, your family didn't do it.

[211] My family didn't go around and say what we were thankful for.

[212] Really?

[213] We did.

[214] I think that's a personal preference.

[215] All those foods were a bit of a mystery to me. Did they ring true to you, the corn and the potato salad with raisins?

[216] No, potato salad is not allowed at Thanksgiving.

[217] That's a barbecue.

[218] What standard is mashed potatoes.

[219] So it would be curious to serve two different potato dishes.

[220] But people also do a sweet potato.

[221] common also.

[222] So you do normally have two potatoes.

[223] But those are different.

[224] One's a yam.

[225] I mean, if we're being honest, they are totally different.

[226] But they're called sweet potatoes.

[227] The sweet potato casserole where you do like the marshmallow and sugar.

[228] I love that.

[229] What's your favorite side?

[230] Stuffing.

[231] The whole meal for me is about the stuffing.

[232] I also like that they were calling it macaroni and cheese and dressing, which I imagine is gravy.

[233] No. Some people call stuffing dressing.

[234] Because we're not eating the one.

[235] that's stuffed in the bird.

[236] In the tray, it's dressing.

[237] Yeah.

[238] I just think of dressing as salad dressing, like a liquid.

[239] Yeah, that's very pedestrian of you guys to think that.

[240] Wilford Brimley famously would say, get yourself a turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

[241] Trimmings, but he would say trimmons.

[242] I feel like trimmings is more Christmas.

[243] It's in a lot of books about Christmas.

[244] So that's another question I have about this.

[245] Everyone describing Thanksgiving, friends, family, you know, eating.

[246] Oh, you say that like you hate friends and family, which you do.

[247] Awful.

[248] It just sounds like Christmas.

[249] Thanksgiving to me is just an early Christmas.

[250] Well, no, there's no presents.

[251] There's no tree.

[252] There's no tree.

[253] Christmas is completely different.

[254] And the food is much different.

[255] There's no home invader in a red suit and black booth.

[256] You're not going to have turkey on Christmas.

[257] Maybe some people do.

[258] What do you eat on Christmas?

[259] I think some people do a turkey.

[260] Oh, yeah, ham.

[261] Yeah, Christmas ham.

[262] What about the turkey for a pig?

[263] Nice salty ham.

[264] And then you're never going to have stuffing, dressing, you're never going to have sweet potato cassero.

[265] I never going to have green bean casserole.

[266] Brown and serve rolls.

[267] I only see them on Thanksgiving.

[268] They don't ever come out.

[269] They should come out all the time.

[270] Brown and serves are the best.

[271] What are those?

[272] I only know crescent.

[273] Brown and serve, they come and they're just a little bit undercooked and you heat them up and then they get a little crisp on the outside, brown.

[274] And then they're really soft and warm.

[275] Get yourself a nice honey baked ham.

[276] Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird.

[277] We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

[278] Flightless Bird is brought to you by Better Help.

[279] Now, sometimes I wish that life came with a user manual because, to be honest, Monica, I think it's too complicated.

[280] I don't understand what the heck's going on.

[281] I know.

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[283] We won't talk about it.

[284] You're far away, so you don't have our soothing guidance.

[285] I mean, you're wearing a hoodie.

[286] It's all the way up.

[287] Your hair's a mess.

[288] Yeah, I'm on the road moniker, and it's a lot.

[289] I'm away from my friends.

[290] And to be honest, I think now is probably quite a good time for better help.

[291] Because therapy does sometimes help when you don't know what the heck's going on.

[292] And right now I feel isolated.

[293] I feel scared.

[294] And I don't know what to do.

[295] Oh, no. Yeah.

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[311] Bird.

[312] Flightless bird is brought to you by aura frames.

[313] Now recently I had a falling out with the producer of the show Rob.

[314] It wasn't my fault.

[315] But anyway, we won't get to that.

[316] What I did to make up is I got an aura frame and I filled it with digital photos of memories, beautiful memories between me and Rob, us on holiday, us at the beach, us staying at different wacky hotels around America.

[317] And you know what?

[318] He got that digital photo frame.

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[338] Well, to get us in the Thanksgiving spirit, we went on a little trip, didn't we?

[339] All of us.

[340] By the way, I just want to give thanks to you for orchestrating this whole thing.

[341] It was pretty special.

[342] I'm wondering how the documentary I've made reflects your actual experience there.

[343] So let's see how we feel about this.

[344] I'm in the car with Monacre and Rob.

[345] We're driving about an hour out of Los Angeles to attend my first ever Thanksgiving.

[346] How is this possible?

[347] I hear you yelling.

[348] It's not even Thanksgiving yet.

[349] Well, to make this episode in time for Thanksgiving, some friends have agreed to cook us an early Thanksgiving dinner.

[350] Monika is driving, Rob's up front, and I'm squished in the back like a child.

[351] We're talking about Thanksgiving memories.

[352] I don't have any because I've never been.

[353] So Rob decides to share a heartwarming story.

[354] There was one year we're all sitting at Thanksgiving dinner.

[355] It's like the kids' table, but we're grown up.

[356] My little brother, Natalie, was there too, and my two sisters, and my grandma in her 90s, was sitting with us for some reason.

[357] And she cannot hear at all.

[358] So for some reason, my brother started talking about how he likes to have his balls looked by his girlfriend.

[359] Oh, Granny.

[360] Oh, my God.

[361] And, uh, assuming she can't hear him.

[362] Oh, no. And he finishes the story and she turns and looks at him.

[363] And she's like, I can hear out of my left ear.

[364] Oh, Granny.

[365] And it just horrified everyone.

[366] Yeah.

[367] You know, everyone just acts like they're not people.

[368] Once you turn 50 if you're a woman, they just act like you're not a person.

[369] They just talk about nasty stuff and think you can't hear.

[370] It's about 5 p .m. and in preparation for, For tonight, I haven't eaten all day.

[371] Already my stomach's rumbling.

[372] It has a very problematic history.

[373] But for me, I make it about community.

[374] And any kind of excuse to get together and have a fun meal is my favorite thing.

[375] So I love it.

[376] I love Thanksgiving.

[377] And I am an anomaly.

[378] I like turkey.

[379] Ah, yes.

[380] The humble turkey.

[381] The turkey evolved in North America about 20 million.

[382] years ago.

[383] They were domesticated about 2 ,000 years ago their destiny reaching our plates.

[384] But sometimes they fight back wild turkeys can be very aggressive.

[385] Just riding along the path this gigantic turkey just kind of like jumps up towards my face almost clawed me in the face.

[386] So kind of knocked me off my bite and then it proceeded to chase me around for like five minutes.

[387] As well as being aggressive, I also hear that turkeys can be quite dry to eat, unlike the moist and tender meat of a chicken.

[388] Why are we eating the turkey on Thanksgiving?

[389] Look, no one really knows why the tradition started.

[390] Historians say the first Thanksgiving in 1621 featured exactly zero turkeys.

[391] That one was all about geese, duck and a bit of venison.

[392] The idea is that turkeys eventually became a Thanksgiving thing because they're indigenous and native to North America.

[393] They set America apart from England.

[394] About 150 years later, Alexander Hamilton came along and literally said no citizen of the U .S. shall refrain from Turkey on Thanksgiving, and George Washington made it a national holiday in 1789.

[395] So now on the 4th Thursday of every November, Americans eat 46 million of them.

[396] We've pulled off onto a dirt road.

[397] Apparently they shot the film Nope around here.

[398] It looks like we're in a western.

[399] It's very bumpy.

[400] You're such a good driver, Monica.

[401] It's felt really safe.

[402] Good, thank you.

[403] We're about to pull in.

[404] We're close.

[405] part of my quest is to find out how to create the perfect Thanksgiving turkey so we're driving to the house of acclaimed chef Michael Voltagio he was the winner of the sixth season of Top Chef he's opened numerous amazing restaurants and he knows how to create the perfect turkey okay come in we have a full feast happening we're greeted at the door by Brea Michael's partner she's an actor and if you haven't seen her and William Defoe in the Florida Project, please watch it immediately after this episode.

[406] She's the one who made this night happen.

[407] We're having like a full Thanksgiving meal with like stuffing and all the sides and it it's going to be super delicious.

[408] It's been jacuzziing for like all day.

[409] I don't even know what that is.

[410] He got like a full jacuzzi maker for it.

[411] Brea leads us all into the kitchen where we meet Michael.

[412] I was a bit scared to meet him because anyone on Top Chef is scary.

[413] But he's really warm and kind.

[414] He's also just objectively cool.

[415] His hair shaved at the sides, and he's covered in tattoos.

[416] And like Brea said, there's a jacuzzi on the bench.

[417] Pieces of turkey are gently relaxing in what looks like a tiny jacuzzi.

[418] The word suvid became like a food trend, buzzwords.

[419] People were talking about it.

[420] Like, I'm cooking suvid.

[421] But for me, when I decided to take on the task of turkey, and I actually did it with Wayne Sonoma 12 years ago, They were like, we want the perfect turkey.

[422] And so I haven't changed this recipe since I developed it like 12 years ago, but I break it down into its individual parts.

[423] The legs are actually floating in that jacuzzi right now.

[424] On top, you see the breast attached to the wing that was cooked at a separate time and temperature.

[425] That was brined overnight, so that actually sat in a marinade of sugar and salt to keep it from drying out when you cook it.

[426] And then the thighs over there are completely boned out and also cooked at a different time in temperature.

[427] And then I'll bring it all back together and give it to you on the platter the way that you would expect to see it, since I believe you deserve to have it.

[428] Traditional looking, but not traditional tasting.

[429] Actually, delicious, not dry.

[430] The thing is, dryness was the least of our problems.

[431] This early Thanksgiving was almost over before it even got started.

[432] So Michael was out of town, and it was my job to find a turkey.

[433] little did I know that every turkey in the United States has the flu and when one bird gets it they kill the whole flock so there is a nationwide turkey shortage so I called every single butchery and store in Los Angeles no one had a turkey I had to get a turkey overnighted from a farm in like Pennsylvania I'm so sorry I I feel really guilty about this.

[434] You deserve a turkey for your first Thanksgiving.

[435] The turkey itself, I think, is kosher because it was the only turkey we could find.

[436] So it came from an organic kosher farm.

[437] So I'm pretty sure this will be the best and most responsible turkey you'll ever eat.

[438] I get out my phone and check.

[439] And yeah, there's a turkey plague going on.

[440] A highly contagious strain of avian flu is spreading to several states in the U .S. Wisconsin is the latest date to report finding H5N1, the scientific name for the avian flu.

[441] Reports I read said supply chain should be a bit more sorted by Thanksgiving, so don't panic.

[442] I think you'll be fine.

[443] Turkeys are not fun to work with, but it is a challenge, and so I appreciate that because here's this center part.

[444] Everyone says, Thanksgiving, it's all about the sides.

[445] It was all about the sides because the turkey was dry and it didn't taste good.

[446] And so I feel like they could have broken tradition and been like, maybe.

[447] Maybe we should try something else.

[448] How about pork belly?

[449] That's not dry.

[450] And that's what's wild about tradition is that people are so afraid to break them.

[451] But I don't think the turkeys are going to be offended if you stop cooking them.

[452] I've just heard turkeys are a very sort of, sort of drying bird.

[453] Not moist.

[454] Not tonight, though.

[455] And moist is one of my favorite adjectives.

[456] So thank you for using that.

[457] Monica hates the word moist, which just makes me want to say it more.

[458] Moist.

[459] Moist.

[460] Moist.

[461] Moist.

[462] Monica has a real issue when I say moist, and I think everyone likes a moist thing.

[463] For your first turkey and your first Thanksgiving, I think it's important that it's the best one so that you can continue to hate the turkey, like everyone else, for all the years to come in perpetuity.

[464] I always had to work on Thanksgiving.

[465] I've worked in hotels when I was 19, 20 years old, and you're cooking for a thousand people.

[466] So do the math of how many turkeys, how many pounds of potatoes.

[467] And so I made a decision that when I had my own restaurants, I was going to stop doing that, but then about eight years ago, I volunteered at the LA Mission and I've been going down there every year and cooking their Thanksgiving on Skid Row.

[468] And it took me back to the same level of production that I swear I would never do, but when you can cook for people that need to eat as opposed to ones that are entitled to eat, that to me is what Thanksgiving is all about.

[469] That's what Thanksgiving is to Michael, cooking turkeys for those that wouldn't otherwise get to eat.

[470] For this advanced Thanksgiving tonight, he refused any kind of payment, which is crazy because he's literally putting on a full Thanksgiving spread for us.

[471] He and Brea suggest we give that direct to the mission.

[472] So yeah, that's where the money's gone.

[473] What's your gravy policy?

[474] There's some gravy happening here?

[475] How's that happened?

[476] So I took all the bones.

[477] I roasted them from the turkey.

[478] Pressure cooked it in chicken stock and just reduced, reduced, reduced to a little bit of butter.

[479] So it's actually gluten -free.

[480] I didn't put any flour or anything like that to thicken it.

[481] It's just all the natural reduction of the turkey.

[482] We've got mashed potatoes.

[483] I've got sourdough stuffing in the oven right here.

[484] It's incredible.

[485] I'm curious about the stuffing because my grandma Monica was big about stuffing chickens.

[486] And does stuffing have to be stuffed inside the bird?

[487] Or do you do it separately?

[488] So I do it separately.

[489] One, because I broke the whole bird down so there was nothing to stuff it into.

[490] But I don't know many people that actually still stuff it into the back of the bird.

[491] So I think we should just start calling it bread pudding.

[492] Bread pudding.

[493] Sign me up.

[494] Looking around the, kitchen, there's just so much going on.

[495] Even just with the turkey, it's all been separated out, different body parts are simmering at different temperatures, the gravy's here, the stuffing's there.

[496] And as someone who struggles to follow even the simplest recipe, I wonder how Michael does it.

[497] I am incapable of cooking.

[498] I just don't have that skill.

[499] You're describing what you're doing with the turkey over here.

[500] How do you know how long to do this stuff?

[501] How do you know to separate these bits out.

[502] I just don't understand how you know this.

[503] I mean, I think that's the intersection of art and technical abilities sort of collide.

[504] And so I set out to create the perfect turkey.

[505] And so trial and error.

[506] I mean, I cooked, sorry turkeys.

[507] I'm sorry.

[508] Thank you for your service.

[509] I cooked a lot of turkeys to get here.

[510] I get a text.

[511] Dex and Kristen are on the way.

[512] They must have smelt the bread pudding.

[513] You're such a good host.

[514] Thank you for this.

[515] I'm trying really Thank you for noticing.

[516] So far, tonight's been bliss.

[517] We're laughing and joking and everything smells so good.

[518] But I know for some, Thanksgiving can turn bad.

[519] When families all gather together to eat and drink, things can get feral.

[520] And I think of Rob's poor old grandma.

[521] With that in mind, I ask Michael what his worst Thanksgiving was.

[522] So my first job was at the holiday end when I was 15 years old in Frederick, Maryland.

[523] And my first job was to run the food back and forth to the buffet.

[524] And so for Thanksgiving one year, they got the bright idea to dress us up in very inappropriate costumes.

[525] And I would be canceled for this today.

[526] They put me in a pilgrim costume and told me that was my job for that.

[527] Like, I had to do that.

[528] You know, it's the Christopher Columbus syndrome.

[529] Like, we're celebrating these things that we shouldn't be celebrating.

[530] But for that day, I had to wear a costume and run food back and forth.

[531] I was 15 years old to a Thanksgiving buffet at a holiday inn.

[532] that's how I got into fine dining.

[533] And here's the elephant in the room with Thanksgiving, right?

[534] For many Americans, it represents this day.

[535] You can hopefully take off work and get to hang out with the ones you mostly love.

[536] The next second, some holiday inn is sticking a 15 -year -old employee in a pilgrim outfit.

[537] Because pilgrims.

[538] The simple, undeniable fact is that when settlers arrives in America, 90 % of indigenous peoples died, almost exterminated by a combo of genocide and introduced disease.

[539] So my name is Crystal Echo Hawk.

[540] I'm a citizen of the Pawnee Nation, which is in Oklahoma, and I'm Kickahawki band.

[541] And my Pawnee name is Kiharu Hatawa, which means lights in the room woman.

[542] Crystal is a friend of a friend.

[543] This whole episode is Friends of Friends.

[544] And she knows America more than most.

[545] I think the biggest context is to understand is that there was full -on genocidal colonization happening, like in the years preceding.

[546] It was an uneasy truth.

[547] between the pilgrims and the Wampanags, and it really eventually turned into very bloody, destructive battle.

[548] Really, when you look at some historians, they point to the actual real first Thanksgiving that the pilgrims were very proud to celebrate was actually a year later when they celebrated the massacre of 400 Pequot people.

[549] I acknowledge there's simply no easy, non -awkward way to transition into this stuff in the middle of a fairly happy -go -lucky podcast about making a delicious moist turkey.

[550] But Thanksgiving is also about the making of a making America, and it was awkward.

[551] Probably more appropriate term would be horrific.

[552] So it's tempting to just leave it out, which is, I guess, the approach America took.

[553] There was a study done back in 2015 by a woman named Professor Sarah Shear.

[554] She found that 87 % of schools in the United States don't teach about Native Americans past 1900.

[555] Gone, done.

[556] Like, we just sort of fade to black.

[557] Isn't that convenient?

[558] That's right around the same time.

[559] Close at the 1800s, beginning of the 1900s is when you start to see this narrative of fade to black the noble savage.

[560] That's when the Thanksgiving myth really starts taking off.

[561] Crystal isn't here to stop you celebrating Thanksgiving.

[562] She'd just prefer it if we didn't deny reality.

[563] And if people stopped dressing up as pilgrims and wearing Native American headdresses at Coachella.

[564] If you went and pulled different native people, you're going to get a lot of different answers about how people deal with Thanksgiving.

[565] How they choose to celebrate it or not celebrate it.

[566] And I think as we're trying to really build bridges with allies like call them in and let's flip the script, let's rebrand this, let's figure out a different way.

[567] There's a way that if it's important to you to get together and eat Thanksgiving and do your turkey and potato thing, then let's make it something that can be really positive and educational for your family.

[568] I don't think the expectation is like everybody's sit there and unpacked the genocidal history of what happened to Native Americans while you're eating your turkey.

[569] But I think that there's cool ways, really finding out whose land you're on, maybe finding a native TV show or film you want to watch, and to have just sort of a discussion and really began to open it up and think about, wow, okay, how do I want to be going forward?

[570] How do I want to be a good ally with Native peoples and, again, not perpetuate bullshit?

[571] Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird.

[572] We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

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[578] They're the one magician of being to see in Vegas, and they were so good.

[579] But you can basically learn magic from them and the art of magic, and that's pretty special.

[580] I never thought I'd get a one -on -one with them, and it's kind of great.

[581] Have you been testing out any of the magic on your first?

[582] family?

[583] I've been driving my nieces a little bit crazy.

[584] Well, they teach you all about the psychology of it and the show.

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[598] Terms of play.

[599] That was a pretty awkward transition to make into that stuff.

[600] But yeah, that's the way.

[601] I mean, it is hard.

[602] It is just kind of this awkward thing, right?

[603] Yeah.

[604] I downloaded that app, Native lands, and it tells you what lands you're on in America.

[605] The Tongva.

[606] This was their spot.

[607] California.

[608] And I think that's a cool idea.

[609] She also mentioned a cool thing that's happening in America is Native Americans being treated in pop culture in a different way.

[610] Reservation Dogs, which is weirdly a show that Taika Waitidi and New Zealander co -created.

[611] That takes a really interesting look at Native Americans.

[612] And there's this film that I just watched recently called Prey, which is in the Predator series.

[613] It is the first film that has an entire dub that is in Comanche, the language.

[614] The Predator franchise is this huge thing.

[615] You've got aliens and Predator.

[616] And the new one takes part before white people got to America, and it's just Native Americans basically fighting the predator, and it's really, really fucking good.

[617] Cool.

[618] And so there's just cool stuff coming through, and she's just like, we should just be watching more of this and talking about it instead of ignoring it.

[619] I mean, definitely, I didn't learn about Thanksgiving being connected to...

[620] It just wasn't at school at all.

[621] At all.

[622] Just not there.

[623] Yeah.

[624] Well, here we go.

[625] Do you think it's a holiday about Native Americans?

[626] There's some record.

[627] It was all men at the table, and there were Native Americans at the table.

[628] But is the holiday about giving thanks for a harvest, or is it about Native Americans?

[629] Yeah, that's the thing.

[630] I think the first Thanksgiving, the narrative that Americans had been told, is that it was about this really peaceful hand over the land.

[631] And that's the tradition that's been passed through schooling.

[632] I think most of us now think about it as being thanks.

[633] Well, it's called Thanksgiving.

[634] And it's about giving thanks for the harvest.

[635] No, but you are taught in school that the first Thanksgiving was the Indians, And the pilgrims and they sit together.

[636] And that's why you do make the headdresses with the construction paper.

[637] And it is very much about those two coming together.

[638] That's what I was taught for sure.

[639] This is reminding me, I think I must have been in first or second grade.

[640] We had to come up with our Native American name.

[641] But I didn't know any.

[642] So I picked this name, Sangida, which is a actual Indian name.

[643] Oh, right.

[644] You're from India.

[645] Yeah, yeah, that was.

[646] It was my grandparents' friend's daughter's name, and I just like, I knew it, and there was son in it.

[647] So I was like, I'm son, Giza.

[648] And they were like, no, that's not.

[649] Literal enough.

[650] That's not an Indian name.

[651] That's not a Native American name.

[652] And I'm like, no, that's what I'm going by.

[653] I love that you did.

[654] I think that's kind of great.

[655] I connected to my Indian culture that one moment.

[656] Put your foot down.

[657] I did.

[658] It's kind of endearing.

[659] I did it wrong, but it's fine.

[660] I'd be real concerned if there was an elementary school in America right now teaching that we had this joyous union with Native Americans and everyone prospered and there wasn't a genocide.

[661] I'd be real concerned about that.

[662] I wonder what's how?

[663] We should ask the kids.

[664] I know my kids aren't learning that.

[665] I mean, I can find out next week.

[666] I have friends.

[667] I am going to the South who have friends, yeah, with kids.

[668] Yeah, let's find out.

[669] Because if that part's not being taught, I think that's the issue.

[670] Again, this is the awkward thing where I'm not from here.

[671] So I'm coming from no place of expertise at all.

[672] Yeah, yeah.

[673] But my impression from talking to people here is that it's still glossed over and not taught.

[674] There's a big difference between glossed over.

[675] What I'm saying is if they're still teaching the thing people object to, it was taught that there was this peaceful harmony between natives.

[676] If I told you, let's just say, hypothetically, that's not being taught and hasn't been taught for eight years.

[677] Yeah, that would be great.

[678] Does that solve the problem?

[679] It's a big part of the way to solving it.

[680] Okay.

[681] Yeah, teaching the right information from early on so that when you're at Thanksgiving, you actually know.

[682] Yeah.

[683] I guess we're going to have to do some further research to know if that's being taught anywhere currently.

[684] It is still a problem for some older people because they were taught what I was taught.

[685] I do think a lot of people haven't had the need to think twice.

[686] If they're not paying attention, there's no need to think twice about what it really was.

[687] If you were taught what I was taught.

[688] Right.

[689] But young kids, I mean, I do think the newer generations are way better off.

[690] Yeah, super savvy.

[691] Yeah, and they are being told real information.

[692] Yeah, I can only speak for my kids.

[693] And granted, we're in a liberal pocket of Los Angeles.

[694] So who knows?

[695] I would be curious if it's that whole dress as a native, do a head dress, if any of that's happening anywhere.

[696] Construction paper.

[697] Yeah, yeah.

[698] I remember the turkey construction, but you put the feathers.

[699] You draw stuff on the feathers.

[700] For the turkey.

[701] Yeah.

[702] No, we like wore a whole thing.

[703] Yeah.

[704] Okay, we're going to do an awkward transition back into having a really good time at Thanksgiving.

[705] Great.

[706] Which we did.

[707] Such a good time.

[708] We had a really good time.

[709] As I watched Michael in the kitchen, I realize I don't have any of these things in my apartment.

[710] I certainly don't have this turkey jacuzzi.

[711] How are me immortals like myself meant to do a good turkey at home?

[712] One easy tip you could do at home, though, and you don't have this machine and all that.

[713] You brine it.

[714] You put all the spices and this is going to sound disgusting, but you mix it into mayonnaise.

[715] and actually rub the outside of the turkey with the poultry seasoning and everything in mayo and bake it, and it creates this delicious golden crust on the outside of the turkey, but it's also fat.

[716] Go mayo.

[717] Go mayo.

[718] Mayo, another much -loved American treat, and no doubt a separate flightless bird episode.

[719] What is good to pair with a turkey, drink -wise or food -wise?

[720] Is anything it naturally goes with?

[721] I mean, for me, the best bite is getting a little bit of turkey a little bit of mashed potato, a little bit of gravy and a little bit of stuffing on one bite.

[722] People love cranberry sauce, and I never understood why, because it's disgusting.

[723] But then I made it from actual cranberries one day, not right out of the can, and it was actually delicious.

[724] And so now I get it.

[725] But like everything else, it's like a game of telephone.

[726] It gets dumbed down and dumb down and dumb down.

[727] And eventually it became something that just literally like out of a can and falls out in one molded.

[728] It's basically like a jello mold that looks like a tin can that tastes like kind of cranberry.

[729] Suddenly, like a Thanksgiving miracle, Dak Shepard appears, just in time for the food.

[730] With his arrival, the usual group dynamic kicks in, and him and Monica start bullying me. You can hear it in the background, Monica is saying, David, you took your shoes off.

[731] So that's something I've been thinking about a lot since I've been in America, and I'm glad you raise it.

[732] I always take my shoes off indoors.

[733] I've noticed everyone here right now is wearing shoes except me. Yes.

[734] A lot of houses prefer shoes off, so you're doing the right thing.

[735] It's nice.

[736] I think it's respectful, but also I think if someone did that in my house, I'd be like, you're too comfy.

[737] It falls under the farting category.

[738] Like, I want someone to feel comfortable enough to fart around me. You included, David.

[739] There's no way we would not have to acknowledge it's more sanitary.

[740] But unlike the rest of the world, Americans are too busy working.

[741] We don't have the time to take our shoes on and off, unlike you guys.

[742] who are working 32 hours a week and have benefits somehow.

[743] Oh, New Zealand.

[744] What a place.

[745] I realize this whole time I've been very focused on the food.

[746] But Thanksgiving is clearly so much more than that.

[747] It's more than a meal.

[748] It's an entire day.

[749] And I want to learn how to spend it.

[750] You traditionally watch the Detroit Lions play football.

[751] They somehow have grandfathered themselves into being the team you have to watch every Thanksgiving.

[752] And I'm from Detroit and I say this with love.

[753] They're the worst.

[754] team ever.

[755] And so it's a really curious thing.

[756] So imagine being in a sport and it's like on the big day where everyone gives thanks.

[757] Let's watch the worst team play.

[758] Right?

[759] Yeah, it's deeply unusual.

[760] It's kind of like, but are you sort of rooting for the underdog?

[761] Yeah, I don't even know that anyone roots for them.

[762] I think it's more a spectacle of like, how bad will they lose this Thanksgiving?

[763] The other thing that's weird and what we're not doing correctly is the timing of Thanksgiving is peculiar.

[764] It's generally you eat dinner at like 2 p .m. It's an early meal.

[765] It's not dinner.

[766] It's late lunch.

[767] It's impossible to plan you're eating that day.

[768] I think you're supposed to have a pretty good -sized breakfast because you're going to have to make it until two or three.

[769] And then everyone is so full by four that everyone's out cold by 435.

[770] And then around 9 p .m. people start sniffing around.

[771] Where was all that food that we put in the fridge?

[772] What happens with all the leftovers?

[773] because I'm imagining not everything is eaten, right?

[774] There's a really traditional response, which is sandwiches.

[775] You're supposed to put everything you ate individually between bread with a healthy dose of mayonnaise.

[776] There's that mayonnaise again.

[777] That definitely has to be another episode.

[778] I walk through into another room and interrupt Brea and Kristen talking.

[779] There's nothing to make it feel more like Thanksgiving than someone wandering around with a microphone and shoving it in your face.

[780] Where does Thanksgiving rank?

[781] You know, you've got Christmas, you've got Halloween, you've got Easter.

[782] It's mid -level.

[783] You can't decorate as much for it.

[784] I really like to eventize things.

[785] So Halloween and Easter are going to be my top two.

[786] I recently became a full -blown cheater, and I'll never go back.

[787] I, two years ago, started ordering Thanksgiving dinner.

[788] Like, I previously made it, and my family would come in and be with them, and we're in the kitchen, and I come from the Midwest, so a lot of things have like a ritz cracker base or the green beans have mushroom soup and then funions on the top.

[789] What a funnions?

[790] They're like dried onion chips.

[791] Yum. But two years ago, I ordered from a little mom and pop catering place by our house and the experience I had at Thanksgiving, I would say, was my best because the not bustling around the kitchen and stressing out that everyone has what they needed, was my kind of Thanksgiving.

[792] It was all just taking care of.

[793] Yeah, and I was supporting a local place, and it all came prepared, and we sat down and ate.

[794] There was way more family time, I think.

[795] Family, that's what this is all about.

[796] I don't have any family here in America.

[797] They're all back in New Zealand, more scattered around the UK.

[798] Maybe these people around me right now are my family, my weird little family, and my weird little family is getting hungry tummies.

[799] How many hours has gone into this meal, because we're down to the final sort of minutes, and I'm thinking this being such a buildup.

[800] I started this morning at 7 a .m. So it's 7 .30 now.

[801] So I took a couple breaks, but about 12 hours today and 4 hours last night.

[802] This turkey, flown in from Pennsylvania, has been over a day in the making.

[803] But the next 15 minutes will be its transformation.

[804] So I'll render all the fat out of the thighs, and then I'll cook the breast in that same fat.

[805] Crispy chicken thighs are very popular right now in most restaurants.

[806] This will be that version but turkey.

[807] And then the breast itself will then render in the same fat.

[808] It's a stressful.

[809] No, this is dinner at home.

[810] David doesn't really know, I fear, the extent of you.

[811] Yes, yes, yes.

[812] And like most things in America, I'm sort of in the dark a little bit.

[813] Michael's a huge.

[814] Huge.

[815] I did some Googling, and I understand it does know what he's doing.

[816] I'm also quite hungry at this point.

[817] The smells are going to start, and I think that's when you're like, you know Thanksgiving's happening.

[818] You're going to walk into the smells, you're going to see it, you're going to feel it, and you're getting your tradition tonight.

[819] Things smell good when you start cooking them, don't they?

[820] I mean, that's kind of the idea, and Thanksgiving is really about the smells.

[821] You know, you think about Christmas, you walk into somewhere and you smell apple cider and peppermint bark.

[822] But Thanksgiving, it's a savory holiday.

[823] You smell savory stuff, you know?

[824] This bird's browning up quite nicely.

[825] It is.

[826] We're going to throw a little butter in there, and we're actually going to, since it came out of the water bath, Now we're going to baste it in like a bit of a butter bath.

[827] So this butter will get nice and frothy.

[828] We'll base the outside of the turkey with that.

[829] And again, we're adding a little bit more fat, a little more moisture, but it's also going to help crisp that skin up perfectly.

[830] All right.

[831] We're about five minutes out and we'll be ready to eat.

[832] And this is the moment.

[833] We all head into the dining room.

[834] Sitting around the table, we reflect on flightless bird.

[835] Well, it's more a case of decks tearing into the entire concept of the show.

[836] Yeah, I've had stuffing, but never in the context of Thanksgiving.

[837] Yeah, do we have to, like, play along and act like he's now.

[838] Oh, David's never had turkey.

[839] David's never had chilled water.

[840] When you take a bite.

[841] Good job, Davey.

[842] Good job, Davey.

[843] What do you think?

[844] Michael comes in, a giant plate and a giant cooked turkey in hand.

[845] While alive, it could run up to 19 miles an hour and attack a fully grown man. Tonight, it's dinner.

[846] No one wants to listen to people eating and telling endless stories.

[847] and giggling away, so I won't put you through that.

[848] I will say it was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had.

[849] Sure, it was my first, but as we went around the table and gave thanks, I realized everyone here felt really thankful for the company, for that bread pudding, and for the turkey, that moist, moist turkey.

[850] Gosh, it was good.

[851] This is abnormally generous of you guys.

[852] I can't thank you enough.

[853] This is such a rare, unique experience, and I'm so grateful.

[854] and I can tell how much work with all this, so I feel so lucky to be here.

[855] So thank you guys.

[856] And then to the armchair group, this weird thing has taken us so many places already.

[857] And I'm so grateful to all you three for taking me all over the place and having all these fun experiences.

[858] Vindex turns to look at me. And then you're a smoke show.

[859] No, no. He was looking at Kristen.

[860] Fucking heels to head, sex pot.

[861] I love you.

[862] Rob and I know what a huge deal it is to be sitting at a Voltaggio meal, and I'm very, very, very grateful that you had us and that you spent all day cooking.

[863] I can't believe it.

[864] And also, yes, we hit 500 episodes today of armchair.

[865] And I'm incredibly thankful for a job that's not a job.

[866] How did that even happen?

[867] I don't know.

[868] And to David Ferrier for bringing us flightless bird and teaching us more about America than we even.

[869] new.

[870] Love you guys.

[871] And Kristen Bell, because she's so sexy.

[872] It's Rob's turn.

[873] He'd said earlier how much he hates this part.

[874] Unlike most of us, Rob's not in love with talking, especially not into a microphone.

[875] He's always gently helping us in the background.

[876] He does so much, but he hates into stage.

[877] Right now, he'd rather be dead like that turkey.

[878] I'm thankful to be here eating this food in your house.

[879] It all looks incredible, and I'm thankful to Dax and my Monica and David for all the experiences we've had the last four years and you, David.

[880] I hate this, I hate this.

[881] And Kristen smokeshow.

[882] We're not very good at showing emotions in New Zealand.

[883] We refuse.

[884] And I especially refuse.

[885] What are you good at in New Zealand?

[886] Because all I hear about is what you guys are not good at.

[887] I'm actually starting to get quite a few complaints from New Zealand.

[888] Being like, what are you saying about us?

[889] The Tourism Bureau cannot be excited by it.

[890] The Tourism Bureau cannot be excited by it.

[891] And to make up for that, I want to say I'm very grateful for New Zealand.

[892] I love New Zealand.

[893] It's really good.

[894] But also, since getting stuck here, stuck seems like such a negative word, but I genuinely have had some of the best experiences of my life.

[895] There's something about Americans that are so hospitable, and it's crazy to me, whether it's literally what we're doing now.

[896] You've literally been cooking all day for this little podcast we do, and that's crazy.

[897] You've got much better things you could be doing with your time.

[898] But thank you so much.

[899] And you, Dex, and Monica and Rob, and you've literally sponsored my visa and I'm here because of you.

[900] So thank you so much.

[901] What I am the most thankful for is not only this great group of people, but specifically that stuffing that Michael made.

[902] I still haven't had a bite, but I just know every fiber of my being is grateful for it.

[903] We're all grateful to the chef.

[904] I doubt I'll ever have someone this famous for cooking for me, anytime soon.

[905] I'm thankful that people have taken bites and no one has spit anything out yet.

[906] So I appreciate that.

[907] But honestly, Brea brought everyone together.

[908] She sent me a text message.

[909] She sent it actually from the living room to the bedroom and asked if I would cook Thanksgiving dinner in mid -October.

[910] So here we are.

[911] I feel fortunate that I actually get to do what I love to do at home because I've done so much of it at work that I actually have the opportunity to get to do this for you guys and so this for me is it's not work at all this is a home -cooked meal for some friends new ones and i'm stoked you guys are here so let's make a baby catch up with these guys so hi this is christin bell i'm very grateful to have been included i'm grateful for the outstanding compliments i've received even if they're superficial tonight at this table it's always exciting to be led into someone's home, but particularly when you can see their passions up close and personal.

[912] And I'm even noticing that you're doling out like gravy when you see someone's turkey is dry.

[913] You're putting gravy on it.

[914] And just to like sincerely to witness that level of care and affection, it fills my heart so much because emotions are contagious and I'm grateful to be included.

[915] And also, very few people for my palette get the salt perfect.

[916] And every single bite of this has perfect sodium levels.

[917] So thank you so much.

[918] Okay, I'm going to go again.

[919] And with Thanksgiving, I quietly turned the microphone off.

[920] Four different pies are being dished out, and I'm so full my brain's just turned off.

[921] That's why I turned my recording gear off.

[922] I don't want to work anymore.

[923] I don't need to document pies in a podcast.

[924] about a turkey.

[925] But Dax insists.

[926] I refuse.

[927] I tell him I'm off the clock.

[928] I'm done.

[929] I'm cooked.

[930] I just want to eat some pie and peace.

[931] But Dax stage is a coup, grabbing my audio gear and microphone and turning it all back on again.

[932] David's off the clock.

[933] He's announced that he's off the clock in his own episode.

[934] I don't know if this is a Kiwi thing when we already discussed the work ethic, but you're so fucked up on cake, pie, and wine that you've literally quit your duties.

[935] We said, David, what's your favorite pie?

[936] Oh, and Rob rightly so, said, let's record that.

[937] And you say, I'm off the clock.

[938] Go, boom, boom, boy, tell people what's on your play.

[939] I've got four.

[940] I did just refuse to work in front of literally my various bosses in the room.

[941] I've got four big slices of pie.

[942] I've never had this one before.

[943] I thought it was a cheesecake, but apparently it's key line.

[944] This is Peacan.

[945] A famous Thanksgiving treat that I've never had before.

[946] I think maybe it's a bit much.

[947] All this cake was a bit much.

[948] The whole night's been a bit much, but in a really good way.

[949] And we all munch away on pie, which goes down into our stomachs to join the turkey and the stuffing and everything else.

[950] It's been a wonderful day with wonderful people.

[951] And I felt thankful.

[952] It does feel good though, doesn't it?

[953] Or the sugar.

[954] You are the cutest when you're fucked up on sugar It was a good day It was such a good day The pre - Thanksgiving Thanksgiving I stand by that cuteness observation It was kind of unparalleled Okay except you missed the car ride home Where his tummy started hurting Of course it's tummy Of course it did I got sore If your stomach had not hurt after that You would need to see a doctor Because you had four enormous pieces of pie and cake and what, 12 glasses of wine?

[955] When you say pie got dished out, you dished out the pie.

[956] You were in charge of slicing up the pie and everyone said just a little tiny sliver.

[957] And then you cut a quarter of the pie and put it on everyone's plate.

[958] We had bought pie to this house, right?

[959] We did.

[960] We did all bought pie.

[961] And I just wanted to feel like we were giving back.

[962] But I gave back too much to myself in the end.

[963] and I got sick.

[964] I felt ill. Didn't you eat even more in the morning then?

[965] I had more, yeah.

[966] I took some in a box home.

[967] They box them up.

[968] And I had it for breakfast and I felt sick again.

[969] I think you thought you could start like a wave in an arena.

[970] I think you wanted to give back.

[971] But everyone was like, we're good.

[972] They already had their own two desserts, which were great.

[973] And I think you were like, no, you got to receive something.

[974] So I'll go first and eat all of it.

[975] And I was just standing there waving the whole night on my own, essentially, and feeling ill. Oh, my God.

[976] No, no one had the puke on the ride home.

[977] No, but I did get him some pepto, which I always keep handy.

[978] Yeah, you pipped me up, and that was good.

[979] But then I ruined it in the morning by eating more and feeling, yeah, sick all over again.

[980] You always have your little mobile medicine kit with you.

[981] We sort of had Thanksgiving on a different day.

[982] We pulled it forward by about a month.

[983] We did.

[984] Maybe that can be the new Thanksgiving day.

[985] I actually think it was gapped out perfectly because had Thanksgiving come up two weeks later, I'd have been like, nah, it's too fresh in my memory.

[986] perfect that was and it'll just be really lackluster but there's been a little space so it was really really good stuffing man yeah i mean i have been thinking about that food ever since we had it it was so good thank you michael my goodness michael and brayer which is a really good hosts and a lot of fun and my first thanksgiving was a really really good one welcome to america i'm a hundred percent american it's over for the moment Ha ha ha ha ha