Stephen Merchant

[0] Welcome.

[1] Welcome to armchair expert.

[2] Monica, you don't have your headphones on.

[3] Oh, shoot.

[4] What are you doing?

[5] This is a mutiny.

[6] For God.

[7] That's how you want to celebrate our 100th episode.

[8] You are such a police about the headphones.

[9] Maybe I wanted to shake things up for the 100.

[10] Oh, well, I would think, though, maybe do, go to the 100th, like, you know, muscle memory.

[11] Okay.

[12] Then try some newfangled stuff for 101.

[13] Okay.

[14] Well, don't tell me what it is.

[15] Okay.

[16] We have a very fun guest today.

[17] Stephen Merchant fell in love with him, of course, with the first English office.

[18] And have never not enjoyed seeing him since.

[19] Yeah, he's lovely.

[20] He was so much taller than me. It was the first thing I noticed.

[21] Yeah, that was the most extreme height differentiation we've had here between a guest and you.

[22] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[23] It was exciting.

[24] It was really exciting, especially to see you both on the same couch.

[25] Sure.

[26] I begged the question, are they the same?

[27] same species.

[28] We don't know.

[29] We don't know.

[30] We didn't get a 23MIA.

[31] Oh, we should have.

[32] He has a movie that you could watch right now called Fighting with My Family that he directed.

[33] He's an incredibly fascinating, thoughtful human being.

[34] And also, I just want to remind people that there's still a few seats left for San Francisco on May 31st at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium.

[35] So if you'd like to join the party, armchairexpertpod .com will take you to some ticky sales.

[36] So check that out.

[37] And please enjoy Stephen Merchant.

[38] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[39] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[40] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[41] You're Stephen Merchant.

[42] I'm Dachshapper.

[43] That's Monica Padman.

[44] You've had, you've had many radio shows, and then you and Ricky had a podcast, which I learned, it was in 2005.

[45] Is that when you guys recorded it?

[46] Or maybe came out in 2006.

[47] That sounds right.

[48] And do you know that they, it's in the Guinness Book of World Record?

[49] The most consumed podcasts in the world.

[50] Really?

[51] Yes, although, to be fair, yes, we were podcast pioneers and thank you very much.

[52] But there were about two other podcasts.

[53] So it's surprisingly easy to get in the world records when there's no other competitors.

[54] With 140 downloads.

[55] It's like there's like, you know, you know, when you're a kid, you'd read the Guinness Book of World Records and it would be, you know, man with longest fingernails on his left hand.

[56] You're like, sure, if you're the only guy who's bothering to not cut his left hand fingernails, you're going to get in the book.

[57] Second place was like four feet behind him.

[58] Were you obsessed at all with the Guinness Book of World Records as a kid?

[59] I felt like people would buy it every kind of year.

[60] It would be a thing.

[61] And I wasn't that interesting because so much of it seemed, you know, nonsensical to me. You know, the sheer amount of playing cards flipped into a bolder hat on a Wednesday.

[62] You're like, great, well done.

[63] Without having had breakfast.

[64] Yeah, exactly.

[65] Yeah, there's a ton of bullshit ones in there.

[66] I'll crank you that.

[67] But I do, you know, as I have kids and there are a bunch of different things I lament that they'll not have that experience.

[68] One of them being that Guinness Book World Records, because of course, now I can just Google who's the tallest guy ever, which is something, Waldo, something.

[69] I always get his name.

[70] I'm always close to his name.

[71] Walden, yeah, a huge gentleman.

[72] But, yeah, now you would, you would just Google as the, it arises.

[73] Yes, got the longest finger.

[74] Yes, exactly.

[75] But then that was your only shot at finding out who the fattest twins were.

[76] Do you remember those guys, they were on, there was on mini bikes in the picture?

[77] But you see, I think that's true of a lot of things.

[78] Because sometimes I find it hard to remember a time before the internet.

[79] Right.

[80] And I think back to sort of, you know, like in the early days of when I first was going to say the pub, we'd go down the pub and there was no internet.

[81] and we would have a conversation about, you know, who played the dad in Teen Wolf?

[82] We would have no way of knowing unless we went to rent Teen Wolf, fast forward to the credits, to look at who played that role.

[83] Because there's no, how else were we going to find out?

[84] That's right.

[85] Now, it's a second later and boom.

[86] I know.

[87] And you perhaps fact -jack who that was.

[88] I will.

[89] Yeah, and I often think, too, it's like we've denied everyone of future generations of theorizing.

[90] There's just, there's no pointing.

[91] guessing anymore or concocting a glorious theory that doesn't end up holding any water but that was so fun yeah how do you think i remember one that went on literally for four years in my friendship circle i'm super into cars and stuff and mechanical things and we were like how the fuck do they make ball bearings perfectly round like it's a piece of steel how is it and then so my theory was they must be dripping molten lava in water and it must cool all at the same time and make a sphere blah This went on for years.

[92] Finally, one, one, someone, a buddy of mine called, oh, my God, I met a guy who fucking makes ball bearings.

[93] It's a rod.

[94] A rod goes through and there's a little corkscrew that cuts some, and I was like, oh, my good.

[95] But this was a four -year mystery.

[96] And there's something quite nice about that moment of revelation.

[97] You'd be wandering all those years and here it comes.

[98] And you'd think of a new theory and float it by everyone.

[99] I feel like, as I remember hearing about the philosopher René Descartes, most famous for the, I think, therefore I am.

[100] and Descartes, I think it was Descartes, would just lie on his bed for like eight hours, just staring at the ceiling, just thinking about shit.

[101] Yeah.

[102] And, you know, no, I don't care how disciplined you are as a philosopher.

[103] You're there for 40 minutes of best, and then you're just reaching for your phone.

[104] Absolutely.

[105] You just have a light check of, you know, high old ball bearings made.

[106] Well, and also as a philosopher, you've probably tweeted some new theory.

[107] You want to check in and see what kind of traction is getting.

[108] See what a light kind of.

[109] likes it's getting.

[110] Yeah.

[111] Imagine just, because that's the perfect Twitter length as well, isn't it?

[112] I think, therefore I am.

[113] That's right.

[114] That would have been a great, that would be a great.

[115] And even sadder, it would have been the tweet of the day.

[116] That's it.

[117] Yeah.

[118] And it would have been over the next day.

[119] I don't believe someone could say a statement that's going to be repeated now 400 years from now.

[120] And also, he'd have said, he'd have tweeted, I think, therefore I am.

[121] And people would like, there's just been loads of trolls.

[122] What does that mean, René?

[123] Oh, yeah.

[124] Well, yeah.

[125] If you want to call that thinking.

[126] Yeah, exactly.

[127] You'll never forget.

[128] that about the rod and the ball bearing.

[129] But we forget everything now that it's on the internet because it just goes in and goes right back out.

[130] Like we fact check on this.

[131] We can't remember any of the things we talk about on here.

[132] The fucking tallest guy.

[133] I've already said this.

[134] And it's close to Waldo, but it's not.

[135] I think you're confusing it with where's Waldo?

[136] Yeah, sure.

[137] And if he were the tallest guy, he'd be very easy to locate.

[138] He would be a terrible subject.

[139] But yes, there's no risk of letting it go because you can retrieve it.

[140] Exactly.

[141] And in fact, now they're changing how they teach kids, which is really interesting and cool, which is there is no more memorizing dates.

[142] Really?

[143] Yes, there's a whole new approach, which I'm totally supportive of, which is now it's like the whole emphasis is critical thinking.

[144] Because you have access to everything.

[145] So to be storing that stuff in your brain is just kind of a waste of time.

[146] You could be using all that computing power to come up with thoughts or think critically.

[147] So I'm kind of into this.

[148] Yeah, okay.

[149] Yeah.

[150] At first, I was like, well, no, they got to learn their times table.

[151] And they got to say nine times seven like that, you know.

[152] But where did, so what's the natural extension of that?

[153] You can always use a calculator on your, on your phone, can you?

[154] Right.

[155] Do you have to do any kind of mental arithmetic?

[156] Do you have to spell?

[157] Do you have to be able to spell?

[158] No, spelling is not a thing anymore.

[159] So you don't have to worry about spelling.

[160] You don't have to worry about learning it, memorizing any facts.

[161] No, which was, by the way, it was four years.

[162] So what do they do you?

[163] My life was wasted, learning how to spell received.

[164] Four years you spend?

[165] Yeah, when you weren't figuring out Bullbear.

[166] You were just trying to spell receive.

[167] No, they're like, they're being taught something, but then the emphasis isn't like wrote in memorization.

[168] It now becomes about like, what does that mean?

[169] What's the point of that?

[170] What's the message of that?

[171] How does that apply to this?

[172] You know, it's all application.

[173] It's like forget, you're not going to have a test where it's like what year was the Magna Carta written.

[174] Yeah.

[175] It'll be more about what the point of the Magnacarra.

[176] Okay.

[177] That's my understanding of that.

[178] That makes sense.

[179] Yeah.

[180] Yeah, which I think is a much better use of time is like actually, understanding the themes of all these things and how they weave together and affect you currently and you know what'll happen going forward.

[181] I've always thought that something that would be valuable to teach at school in all sincerity would be how to debate.

[182] I don't just mean debate kind of you know, you know, where you, I know there's debates, classes and things, but I just mean the process of having a civilized conversation in which two people take opposing views, not to win the argument, but simply the sort of rules of engagement, right?

[183] That you don't just shout the other person down, you hear their argument, you listen, you respond.

[184] Discourse.

[185] You define the terms of the discussion.

[186] You don't make a straw man argument for them.

[187] You make an effort to be able to make their argument as well as they could.

[188] Yes, exactly.

[189] And I just think that, it feels like that would be a really useful social school.

[190] And you, you know, we sit here thinking, Oh, well, of course.

[191] Yes.

[192] Well, people do.

[193] We can all speak.

[194] But no, people are really bad at discussing stuff.

[195] They're great at broadcasting a message.

[196] Right.

[197] Right.

[198] Right.

[199] We're all like a radio antennas just sending the signal.

[200] Yeah.

[201] My thing is there isn't a single class about like self -esteem.

[202] How do you feel good?

[203] Communicating with the, in a relationship.

[204] Right.

[205] Yeah.

[206] Stating vulnerability.

[207] Like all these things that the bulk of your life ends up being about.

[208] Yeah.

[209] Yeah.

[210] There's zero like good luck, motherfucker.

[211] Exactly.

[212] Thank God I'm an AA because they taught me how to be honest with myself.

[213] They taught me how to state my fears, how to apologize.

[214] I mean, basic shit that people should know, I had to be a drug addict to find out.

[215] So before you did that, the AA stuff, you didn't really have that skill set, that capacity?

[216] No, not not in a way.

[217] I'll tell you in the simplest way.

[218] We think it's easy to be honest with ourselves.

[219] Right.

[220] And I actually would argue it's nearly impossible to be honest with yourself because you're responding to biochemical things that you don't, unless you're a biology major and you understand what serotonin is in oxytocin and all this cortisol, right?

[221] Unless you can monitor all that, there's one step in a, and I've talked about it in here, which I find to be like such a breakthrough in thinking, which is, and it's a very clever step because all it asks you to do first is just list people you have resentments against.

[222] Okay.

[223] And most people can think of 20 people throughout their lifetime.

[224] They've had a resentment against.

[225] It could be a teacher from second grade.

[226] It could be a boss.

[227] You know, we have them.

[228] X lovers.

[229] So column one is just people you're, you have resentment against.

[230] Column two is, what do they do?

[231] So a man at Bob.

[232] What did Bob do?

[233] Bob tries to get me fired every day.

[234] He's always telling the boss if I'm late and blah, blah, blah, blah.

[235] He's out to get me at work.

[236] Okay, great.

[237] Now, what is that threaten in your life?

[238] Well, it threatens my economic security.

[239] Like if I lose that job, I'm full.

[240] Fuck, right?

[241] And then the fourth column is like, well, what role do you play in that?

[242] Well, if I'm not late, Bob's got nothing to say to the boss, right?

[243] So here's the beauty of it.

[244] I don't care, Stephen, if you listed 280 people that you're mad at, you will find that these 280 people are triggering three fears tops.

[245] Right.

[246] We are all carrying around about three fears that are totally driving the fucking car around and we're largely unaware of it because how would you be aware of it?

[247] Unless you made that list.

[248] and saw it in black and white.

[249] Oh, wow.

[250] So generally, most of the people I'm mad at, I either thought my status was being lowered by them.

[251] I thought they were making me appear stupid, or they were threatening my economic security.

[252] And then I just can go, oh, fuck, well, I guess if I don't have these three fears, I got no problems with people.

[253] That's a cool roadmap to have.

[254] Yeah, yeah.

[255] Wow.

[256] How the fuck would I have learned that?

[257] Of course.

[258] Well, I'm learning it for the first time.

[259] Yeah.

[260] And do you find that it's easily applicable when you are triggered now that you can spot it as it's happening or does it take you four hours of kind of decompression?

[261] Yes, so I've gotten better and better at it.

[262] I've been doing this for 14 years and I've been with Kristen for 11 years and where it's really gotten helpful is we could bicker all day.

[263] That's fine.

[264] If we're bickering and I find that I'm actually getting angry or my chest is getting tight, I go, hmm, okay, something else is going on here.

[265] I'm going to time out.

[266] I think I'm having a coronary clap.

[267] I'm choking.

[268] Yeah, I'm choking on the fishburn.

[269] I go just, let me take 10 minutes.

[270] I go to the bedroom and I go, okay, wow, I'm really emotional now.

[271] And so I know out of now habit, some fear of mine has been triggered.

[272] And it's up to me now to realize what fear has been being triggered.

[273] And again, they're always innocuous, right?

[274] You think it's about the cupboards, but it's not about the cupboards.

[275] It's somehow about your mom.

[276] And it always is.

[277] embarrassingly simple in that way.

[278] And I'll come out and I'll be honest.

[279] I just need to hear the one thing that actually treats my fear, not win the argument of whether it's good or bad to leave covered doors open.

[280] Yeah.

[281] Yeah.

[282] Generally bad.

[283] Yeah.

[284] Just, you know, going to hit your head or something.

[285] Yeah.

[286] Or something's going to fall out and hit a kid.

[287] It's just, you know, it's just basic stuff.

[288] There is a fun, interesting difference between England and the U .S. in addiction.

[289] And in alcoholism in particular, I've found.

[290] Like, it's not as generally accepted of a concept there.

[291] Am I right in that?

[292] Yes, you're probably right in that, well, I think, firstly, our approach to drinking in England, our acceptance of it, it's much more common, it's much more part of sort of everyday living, everyday culture, even when you're younger.

[293] It seemed to me when I first came, spent time in America that, I mean, firstly, obviously when you can drink is 21 in the UK, it's 18, but to me, the demonization of youth drinking underage in American life and certainly in American pop culture is that it's the, you know, it's the terrible thing to do and it's this, whereas I think in England there's, there was always that feeling, even among kind of adults, you know, if a kid can get away with a couple of beers, so what?

[294] Yeah, good luck to him, you know, he's a man. Yes.

[295] You know, or whatever.

[296] So I, there was, there's never been that demonization of booze, the kind of, and even though, and I think certainly that notion of us is sort of all carousing out on a Friday night, wasted drunk falling over in the streets, is certainly something which is both true and that we're sort of, we're kind of ashamed of it, but I think there's part of us.

[297] Oh, we're crazy.

[298] Whereas I think, you know, again, even in the States, I don't, I very rarely find drunken people just staggering down the street on a Friday night.

[299] You go to central London or central Manchester on a Friday night.

[300] You're going to see zombie -like people just crowding down the street with booze.

[301] I remember as a kid, and I guess I'm trying to think how old I was.

[302] I was maybe 12 or 13, maybe.

[303] And I remember, you know, my parents would have a glass of wine with Sunday lunch.

[304] And, you know, there was a point in which it was like, you know, can I, can I try some wine?

[305] They were like, sure.

[306] And I tried a little glass.

[307] And we went, I remember we went to the park and I took my bike and I was a little drunk.

[308] And I wrote my bike into a tree and fell off at the age of whatever I was, 12 or something.

[309] And there was not that idea that my parents were terrible people.

[310] It was kind of like, oh, he's at his first drink and riding a bike into a tree experience.

[311] Yes, yes, it's kind of, he's becoming a man. Yeah, it's cute.

[312] Well, I remember being in a hostel in Venice, and there was a kid from England that had joined our little group just by being in the hostel.

[313] And I was drinking on that trip, but I had been sober three months leading up to that trip.

[314] And that came up and he was like, well, why were you not drinking?

[315] And I'm like, well, I'm an alcoholic.

[316] And he's like, what does that mean?

[317] Like the confusion he had about me saying I'm an alcoholic.

[318] I said, well, you know, when I drink, I can't really control.

[319] how many I drank once I start.

[320] Right, right, right.

[321] And he goes, well, how many will you drink?

[322] And I go, you know, like 14 cocktails.

[323] And he goes, oh, well, where I'm from, I'd be proud of that.

[324] Like, it was very clear in that conversation, oh, there's a different culture around this.

[325] Like, he would be excited to tell people he can handle 14 cocktails a night as opposed to.

[326] Well, I think also, I don't know if this is, maybe you could speak to this in terms of sort of your general understanding of American culture.

[327] But certainly my feeling was when I was growing up, when you're 18, 19, you would go out Friday night and the aim would be to get drunk as quickly as possible.

[328] Absolutely.

[329] And in part, I think that was because all pubs back in those days closed by 11 p .m. right?

[330] Right.

[331] Now, this is a hangover, I believe, to use the term creatively, from, I believe, the First World War, when, again, you may want to fact check this, but I think it was that we needed people to be clearheaded and sober in the mornings to make munitions for the First World War.

[332] war.

[333] So there was some kind of government rule about, well, the pubs close at 11 because that means they go home and they get night's sleep and they're not so drunk.

[334] Yeah.

[335] This is always confused me, by the way, about England.

[336] And that just carried on and then was never really repealed until recent years.

[337] Although generally speaking, most pubs still close at 11, although I think they are allowed to stay.

[338] And maybe dance clubs maybe use.

[339] Dance clubs could go to two and they had to have a special license.

[340] But anyway, but obviously what happened was it didn't mean that someone had two pints of ale and then full well munitions making in the morning, better go home.

[341] They just had 18 points of ale in the few hours that they had before the pubs closed.

[342] It was probably a windfall of money for the pubs because money per hour there probably doubled their profits.

[343] So you know, we'd go to the pub on a Friday night and let's say some of us were working late.

[344] We didn't get there until 8 .30.

[345] We've got a couple of hours before the pub closed.

[346] So you'd immediately buy two points of bill for yourself.

[347] Yes.

[348] Just, yeah, better get these in before they call last orders.

[349] But then there's also something different too is like hard alcohol is not as much of a thing there as it is here is right it feels like it's much more of a larger beer drinking culture that the idea of sort of you know having you know whiskeys and shots and things i mean it's there but it's more yes it i think sort of traditionally it was always it was beer get the beers in but do you think there's any relationship between again and i'm not i'm not even suggesting in any way that there's higher rates of alcoholism in england or here i have no opinion on that but what is curious to me a little bit is the English we could say are a little more reserved emotionally for Americans, right?

[350] Yes, certainly in terms of talking about their emotions, talking about, yes, that stuff.

[351] And I think also the idea of therapy and sort of dealing with your issues through therapy is not really part of British culture.

[352] I mean, it's there and it exists, but it's only really since I've spent more time in the US, and particularly Los Angeles.

[353] People will look at me not having a therapist as being unusual.

[354] As being unhealthy.

[355] Like, oh, really, you're not checking in at all?

[356] My girlfriend, Marsea, actually, she said to me that when we first started dating, she was concerned because I had had no therapy.

[357] She didn't voice up, but she was like, oh, this guy has not had any therapy.

[358] I don't know if I can date this guy.

[359] It was a deal breaker in her head.

[360] Sure.

[361] Whereas, yeah, certainly, when I meet people in the UK who've had therapy, it still feels a bit like a novelty.

[362] Yeah.

[363] And it's probably super serious.

[364] Like, they might be there for something really intense.

[365] Right.

[366] Everyone goes here, even if you're having a great day.

[367] So it seems.

[368] Yeah, you can be like skipping on your way into therapy.

[369] Yeah.

[370] Sometimes I will go and she'll be like, okay, and I'm like, I don't really know what to talk about.

[371] Yeah.

[372] But it's interesting, isn't it?

[373] Because do you ever feel like sometimes there's this idea that I was, I remember it was a documentary, I'm sure I saw it was about, it was about the rise of therapy and the way that it was opened up in the US and made more easily accessible and cheap.

[374] to the average Joe in the late 70s early 80s.

[375] And that's kind of when the sort of blossoming of sort of cheaper, more easily available therapy was happening.

[376] And it was interesting that sort of, it was suddenly, and it was almost marketed, if you like, as you need to go and talk to someone because of, you know, you have feelings of insecurity.

[377] Or are you awkward in a group?

[378] Or, you know, are you too much of an extrovert?

[379] Are you this?

[380] Or you fall out with your dad?

[381] And it's sort of this idea that sort of, that if you had any of these symptoms, you must seek a therapist.

[382] And actually, what you're really describing is, just being alive, right?

[383] You're just a person.

[384] A hundred percent.

[385] And so you decide, but it was almost slightly sold as being that you were sort of special.

[386] You were uniquely troubled and therefore needed a pathology.

[387] Exactly.

[388] And actually, no, you're just dealing with shit like a lot of other people and some people have worse shit to deal with.

[389] But everyone has their thing.

[390] That's the kind of cool upside of the British character by my assessment from the outside is like when I watch World War II films and I actually recognize that the people, of London were getting fucking carpet bombed daily and continuing on and the speech that Churchill made that stuff gives me the chill that's a unique character that the English have and I think it's something to feel proud of but then the baggage that comes with that is oh everything's fine just keep dealing right and everything's not fine and this is a challenging experience being on blinded earth that's right well I sometimes wonder you know my grandmother on my father's side was a very sweet woman but i look back now and i think she was such an eccentric lady that i wonder what we would have uncovered if we could have sort of psychoanalyzed you know and she was one of those ladies who she she would lower her voice um for fear that the neighbors might be listening you know she should be in her own home and you'd come in and she'd come in and she like so what what who cares about your no one's listening no one's and she it's a little paranoia Although she was with my grandfather, you know, and they were both very old when they passed away.

[391] But, you know, it was almost like the friends that maybe they'd had back in the war when they'd have a sing song around the piano.

[392] They'd all sort of evaporated over time.

[393] So she didn't, like, who, she didn't really have any friends.

[394] Yeah.

[395] And neither did they.

[396] And then they didn't really go out anywhere.

[397] Right.

[398] She would talk a lot about, oh, I just, I got to go and have a lie down in a darkened room.

[399] And that was the thing.

[400] And then much, much later, we discovered it's because she had high blood pressure.

[401] But there was just sort of this anxiety about doctors and anyone coming to the house and, you know, and, you know.

[402] It's almost like there's an embarrassment.

[403] Like, there would be a weakness or a character failure to need assistance or help.

[404] This was the greatest example.

[405] So, so like, I remember my grandmother asked my father, what would you like for Christmas as a gift?

[406] And he said, I would love a great new winter overcoat.

[407] And she said, oh, there's no need to spend money on that, because your dad will be dead soon, meaning my grandfather.

[408] And he lived for another 20 years.

[409] And my father was just cold for 20 years.

[410] But it's just sort of, but that idea that kind of, I know part of it is, you know, you were born, you didn't have a lot of money growing up and money is a caution.

[411] But just the idea that you saw nothing ironic and just wait for your father to drop dead.

[412] Right.

[413] And then we can pull his overcoat off his, of his, of his, cold but let's let him wear it in the casket and then just before he's buried we'll get it off and you can be warm but what i'm what i am curious about is if you think there might be any parallel between the other unique again from my perspective uh drinking culture is japan okay where these gentlemen who are very very tight -laced uh at work they drink in a way that most people you know yes never witnessed in real life to the point where a good friend of ours Erica did live shows there for maybe two years.

[414] She lived in Tokyo.

[415] And she said you'd be walking by these row of hedges.

[416] And there were businessmen that were just literally, they were asleep in the hedges.

[417] In their suit with their briefcases, they would have just passed out so drunk, slept in the bushes.

[418] And in the morning you'd see men just coming to and exiting the bushes and going on to work.

[419] And to me, it would appear that that relief from the tightness and the lack of emotional expression and stuff is just like a boilerplate, maybe that the drinking really helps.

[420] You know, and I'm wondering if there's any parallel between the reserve nature, or at least the conventional, traditional, reserve nature of the British, and then the joy that they experience at the pub is almost like, they fucking need it, man, they're kind of...

[421] To loosen up.

[422] Yes, yeah.

[423] Yeah.

[424] I wonder if it's like medicinal.

[425] Because the cliche of the Japanese businessman is that, I mean, don't they talk about the idea that kind of suicide rates are very high because of the sort of burden of work and familial responsibility and so on.

[426] So now whether or not that is true, I don't know.

[427] Again, Monica will find out.

[428] She'll check that out for us.

[429] But whereas in the UK, we don't, you know, we don't, I don't think we have that sense of obligation.

[430] And actually, you know, if you went to a kind of working class pub, I don't think you'd think people were buttoned up.

[431] No. I think you'd think they were quite loud and quite brash and quite kind of, you know, And actually quite chatty.

[432] But I think perhaps what it is is that that that's in itself a front, right?

[433] And that actually you're still not really talking about yourself.

[434] Right.

[435] You're not really sitting there and discussing your emotions.

[436] It's really weird how humans will end up getting what they need in the most convoluted way.

[437] Like even when I look at like the English hooligan soccer guys in the commitment to one another and the tribalism and the in the physicality they need.

[438] and then the fucking hugging each other after the battle.

[439] Like, what I see is like some men who need to hear, I love you, and I care about you, and I'm going to hug you.

[440] Like, if the evening had started that way, probably every other thing doesn't happen.

[441] It's more, it's more, to me, that stuff's more fundamental, which is that that's, that's the byproduct of people who have low status, right?

[442] They feel they have low status.

[443] They feel they don't have a great deal of value.

[444] For whatever reason, yeah, they just have low self -esteem.

[445] and perhaps justified, you know, because whatever's happened to them.

[446] And this is a sense of power, right?

[447] I mean, there's nothing more powerful than start in a fight.

[448] Yeah, yeah.

[449] And pulling out a knife and get into a rumble, right?

[450] And it's seen as this symbol of sort of machismo and kind of manliness and attitude and taking ownership.

[451] But it's not.

[452] It's terrified people that kind of are trying to put their stamp on things, right?

[453] Yes.

[454] And I definitely think that is a huge component of it.

[455] having been the Detroit version of one in my youth, what I really was craving is this group of guys, you know, these stupid displays of bravery to earn their respect.

[456] I mean, ultimately, I think all I was truly craving was like, they love me and I love them.

[457] Comradeship community.

[458] Yes.

[459] Sense of sort of, yeah, brotherhood and friendship and family.

[460] And no one showed us the roadmap to get that.

[461] Is it bad that even as you talk about your wayward youth in sort of, you know, a gang form, in my mind, you're either a shark or a jet.

[462] In my mind, I'm picturing you just kind of low to the ground, clicking your fingers.

[463] I'm your first cigarette to your last dying day when you're a jet.

[464] Monag always laughs and I know that song because I don't know any musical theater, but the one about gangs I know.

[465] Yeah, yeah, right.

[466] What was childhood like for you, like as a teenager?

[467] Can I start by saying I'm a bit of an anglophile?

[468] Okay.

[469] Like, I do have great admiration and just interest in the British.

[470] So this is all coming from like a positive, very curious, not critical.

[471] Yes.

[472] Well, my school was a fairly standard what we'd call comprehensive, which is like just a public high school, you know.

[473] Confusingly in England, private schools are called public schools.

[474] Just to make it really confusing.

[475] But I didn't go to a private school or I went to a general school.

[476] You didn't go to a public private school.

[477] Exactly.

[478] And about a thousand kids there.

[479] So it was pretty big and fairly impersonal.

[480] I think there was sort of a degree of cliquiness, but I always felt a little bit like I wasn't part of any gang.

[481] Okay.

[482] I felt a little, I would drift among the different groups.

[483] And I was sort of welcomed loosely, partly as the sort of gesture.

[484] Because you're funny.

[485] Yeah, you know, and I could come and kind of do a little jig and entertain, but I wasn't really part of anything.

[486] Right.

[487] You know what I mean?

[488] I was always slightly floating on the outside.

[489] And I probably, you know, I fell into the sort of nerdier camp, but I, I, but I could move within the other circles.

[490] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[491] What's up, guys?

[492] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good, and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

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[506] Have you been tall your whole life?

[507] Yes.

[508] You have?

[509] Yes.

[510] I've been the size since 14.

[511] Yeah.

[512] And I was quite skinny at 14.

[513] Oh, I was very skinny.

[514] It makes it hard to hide, right?

[515] Well, I think it's interesting that a lot of youth culture is that idea of standing out from the crowd, right?

[516] Like whether you're a, you know, the classic kind of punk, English punk rocker with the spiky hair and everything, right?

[517] It's both a sort of uniform of sorts.

[518] it puts you in a group, like you said, it makes you part of a gang.

[519] But also it makes you stand out, you know?

[520] And I think when you're very tall, I certainly felt that I didn't get to decide when I stood out.

[521] Yes.

[522] So I didn't do the earrings and the pink hair and everything else because I was always standing out.

[523] Yes.

[524] Whether I liked it or not.

[525] And people always felt very confident just and felt free to comment on it, right?

[526] Sure.

[527] Because height is seen as a victory, isn't it seen as an achievement?

[528] Yeah.

[529] Well, it's enviable if you're, you feel short.

[530] That's right.

[531] But it's funny because I never, through all my teenage years, I wish, someone had said to me, oh, you know how envious people are of your height?

[532] Because I was self -conscious about it.

[533] Right.

[534] I was always self -conscious.

[535] I always wanted to be shorter.

[536] Yeah.

[537] I felt like I, yeah, I felt different.

[538] Yes.

[539] And it seems so basic that later in life, someone, people go, no, everyone's really jealous of tall people.

[540] Yes.

[541] If only I'd known that then, I'd have been the king of that school.

[542] Well, again, it's kind of like, you want the choice to stand out when you want to, when you're feeling confident and feeling extroverted.

[543] Do you want that choice?

[544] And then you also want the ability to retreat on a day.

[545] And then you just really don't have that ability.

[546] But I also, in all seriousness, I feel, and you may feel the same way, but, you know, I'm six foot seven.

[547] So I go into most rooms, and I've been most people's heights.

[548] Yeah, right.

[549] You know, I've been everyone in this room's height at some point.

[550] That's a great point.

[551] And so I, it gives you a weird arrogance.

[552] Once you get beyond six four, it starts to get a little bit silly.

[553] We have the exact same thing.

[554] And beyond six, you're just, now you're just being stupid.

[555] Because nothing's really built for you and nothing's really made for you.

[556] But someone wants to.

[557] to me, you know, about the idea of sort of people going into comedy as I did because of being bullied and so on.

[558] And I was never really bullied, but someone said an interesting thing once and I don't, it was sort of a bit of cod psychology, which I've remembered, which is, do you think you went into comedy because it allowed you to control when people laugh at you?

[559] Yeah.

[560] And I thought that was quite a perceptive idea.

[561] I don't think it's strictly true because I think I chiefly went into comedy just because I was always a fan of comedy.

[562] Right.

[563] And I could, and I could make people laugh and it seemed like a good fit for me. But I think probably over time what I realize is what I do like is if you are going to point and laugh at me for being six foot seven, you may as well do it as well because you're, oh, and I saw him on the good place.

[564] And he was funny.

[565] You know, it's like, you know what I mean?

[566] It justifies why they're pointing and laughing at you.

[567] Yeah, not unlike the alcoholism.

[568] I think there's about 20 things that could have added up to you being into comedy.

[569] I think certainly that's probably one of them in general.

[570] I also find that a lot of writers I talk to, and I'm a writer as well, is people that generally desire a good deal of control because there's nothing more empowering than when you sit down and you actually invent an entire world that's going to abide by the rules you set, the people are going to say the things you want.

[571] Yes, absolutely.

[572] I agree with that entirely, but it's interesting that, isn't it?

[573] Because I don't feel like I have the desire for control in all aspects of my life.

[574] If we all went on vacation together, I feel like sometimes there's someone who just wants to be the person who's kind of slightly organizing things and deciding where we eat and where we go on the road trip and all the rest of it.

[575] I'm happy to concede that stuff.

[576] Yes.

[577] And I'm happy to concede responsibility and control in quite a few environments.

[578] Creatively, I'm not.

[579] I'm much tougher to deal with.

[580] Like, for instance, I felt when I was younger, I would imagine if you was just sort of hang out with me when I was 16, that I'd be a little bit exhausting.

[581] You know, just like kind of sort of relentlessly trying to be funny to the point where, in fact, I remember a friend, who's still a friend of mine said to me around that time, you know, people find you really funny, Steve, and then they get tired of you.

[582] And I remember it was a real shock.

[583] And he was, I'm glad he said it, but it was a very brutal thing to hear.

[584] And actually, I think, because I then tried to rebalance, I went too far the other way.

[585] So people would be out for a drink just why I'd have a fun time and I'd be like, yeah, but man, we're all going to die and, you know, you're just, you're like thinking of a million great jokes.

[586] You're like, nope, put that one on.

[587] No, put that one.

[588] No, they don't need to hear that one either.

[589] Yeah.

[590] That person either loved you so much or they hated you, one of the two.

[591] There's no way the person was neutral.

[592] Somewhere in between.

[593] I don't know, yeah.

[594] Because that's a bold thing to say to somebody.

[595] Now back to your height, one more second.

[596] I bet you experience this.

[597] Because my wife, by all accounts, is more famous than I am.

[598] But we're in public, I get recognized way more because you can look at her and go, oh, that, That woman looks like Kristen Bell, right?

[599] But if you look at me, I'm tall enough and my nose is bent enough that you go, oh, that's Dak Shepard.

[600] Right.

[601] That's the guy from Scrubs.

[602] Yes, exactly, exactly.

[603] But I one time, Kristen did, in fact, did a movie with Vince Vaughn.

[604] Yeah.

[605] And he and I got into a little bit of an argument on politics in the first class lounge.

[606] And then we were walking to the gate, right?

[607] And we were still very much engaged in this argument.

[608] And I realized, for the first time ever, however famous he was.

[609] he just is naturally.

[610] You add in that he's six, six.

[611] Yes, yes.

[612] So every single person that heard us yelling at each other where we're like, that's Vince Vaughn in an argument.

[613] Sure, of course.

[614] But I can just imagine that even when, like, you would be with Ricky places, who he's so famous, I bet you are, you just can't hide.

[615] Right, right, that's right.

[616] But then probably if I was with Ricky, they would see this thing.

[617] And then they're, oh, and oh, look, he's with Ricky Javis.

[618] And then they'd be excited about that.

[619] Oh, right.

[620] I just did a movie with Vince Form.

[621] Oh, you did?

[622] Which one?

[623] This is my movie, my wrestling movie.

[624] Oh, he's in it.

[625] He's called Fight With My Family, and he's in it, and he was terrific.

[626] Oh, that's wonderful.

[627] And you got on well with him?

[628] I loved him.

[629] He's a great.

[630] He's a really talented man. I mean, everyone knows that anyway, but it's sort of, it's easy to almost underestimate because he makes it look so easy in a way, and he's been in our consciousness so long.

[631] But actually, when you actually work with him, like, wow, this guy's really good.

[632] He really is.

[633] is, well, he has, I think, an X factor, which is, and how I define it is basically, my first example of it was like De Niro.

[634] As a kid, you'd watch movies and you'd realize, many of De Niro movies are just filming him walk down the sidewalk.

[635] And by God, you can watch that for a long time.

[636] Yes.

[637] You can watch De Niro walk for a good seven minutes before you're getting bored.

[638] Absolutely.

[639] I used to do film reviewing when I was very young, and I, and I, and they often would send me to the movies that the more senior critics didn't want to go to or hadn't heard about it, because they didn't want to bother.

[640] And they sent me to see this little film called Swingers, which no one knew anything about it.

[641] And it was, you know, this little indie movie.

[642] And I went to see it, and actually, firstly, Vince just blew me away.

[643] I mean, you know, he's just, it's like, it's rare that you just see someone for the first time in a movie and you, and you want to buy shares in them, because you just know they're going to be a superstar, right?

[644] But also, it, it was the film which I saw, even as a film film where I thought, oh, I could do this.

[645] You know, not, not, not, I I don't mean that I could make a film as good as swingers.

[646] I just mean, oh, that seemed accessible.

[647] That seemed doable, right?

[648] Totally agree.

[649] It was a, it was a contain movie.

[650] It was a group of friends who'd written the script, made the movie.

[651] It just, it felt somehow accessible in a way that other stuff did.

[652] And weirdly, their personalities were the star.

[653] Like, like, it's what a few movies that you see were, it was clearly written for the people before it was ever an idea, you know, which you can tell.

[654] Yeah.

[655] They didn't plug anyone in.

[656] They weren't going to recast VIN.

[657] That's right.

[658] Yeah.

[659] Isn't it weird, though, there's that, because, charisma and particularly screen charisma is such it's like i don't know that anyone's ever done a successful scientific analysis of what that is because like we worked with um samuel jackson once and sam jackson when you meet him is a perfectly lovely man but it's not like you meet sam jackson and he seems any different in person to other human being you put you put that camera on him and there's like some alchemy between him and the you know the mechanics of a film camera that just...

[660] And by the way, without naming names, I've also seen the opposite, where I've met actors who I bore me in movies.

[661] Right.

[662] And I've met them in real life and I'm like, what is going on?

[663] This is the most sparkly, charismatic person ever.

[664] And it's not on screen.

[665] And it's not a black hole on camera.

[666] Yes.

[667] But it's also odd because it's not even to do with looks.

[668] No. I've met guys who are talented actors who are very good looking.

[669] And then, yeah, on screen, they just don't come alive.

[670] They're perfectly fine, but there's a lack of something.

[671] It's weird.

[672] Yeah, it's like the lens is a filter for whatever.

[673] thing they had.

[674] Yeah.

[675] Yeah.

[676] And given that someone like Vince was so raw when he did swingers, it's, it's not like it was sheer skill and technique that was, that he just knew how to do screen acting.

[677] It was just something fizzing off him.

[678] Back to you directing, did it make you nervous giving him notes?

[679] You've directed a ton.

[680] So I have, but he was the first, he's the first sort of star of his stature who, I guess, you know, we'd worked with a lot of stars, including De Niro, when we did our show extras, but they were in for a day or two.

[681] It wasn't like they were thinking of it as part of their career resume, right?

[682] It was just like something they did as a bit of silly fun.

[683] Yes.

[684] Whereas this was like, it's a movie, and Vince is a movie star, and it's a big thing.

[685] And so there wasn't that thought.

[686] And then I, but I spoke to him on the phone, and he just had excellent notes and observations on the character and on the script that were just really smart.

[687] And I didn't feel like I was clashing with him.

[688] I just thought, oh, this is really smart analysis of things.

[689] And so in the kind of rewriting and sort of accommodating his thoughts, it just made it better.

[690] Yeah, that movie is called Fighting with My Family.

[691] And how did you, I just, I'm always interested in comparing kind of approaches.

[692] I don't think I want to speak about myself as a director in that regard, only because I'm worried that it will sound like I've got it all figured out.

[693] And I'm not sure that I have it.

[694] It almost feels like the actors that were in it would be able to tell you my strengths and weaknesses.

[695] That's fair.

[696] I think, I think, what I try, I'm not interested in it being a power, a game of power play.

[697] Everyone's on the same team.

[698] I don't want, if you're going to be difficult or a diva, I can't be bothered.

[699] I'm not interested.

[700] I'm not going to scream and shout.

[701] I'm not, I'm not going to throw my toys at the pram.

[702] The best idea wins.

[703] There's no, there's no, this is not a power game for me. I'm not interested.

[704] I know that there are some directors, you know, who are kind of famously, basically, they're control freaks, and they love the sense of power it gives them.

[705] Bending people to their will.

[706] Yes, to their will.

[707] I have no interest.

[708] I'm not interested in that.

[709] To me, we're all playing the same direction.

[710] Yeah.

[711] It's just that someone needs, in order for us to move on, someone needs to have a final say.

[712] Yes.

[713] It can't be an endless discussion.

[714] That's right.

[715] Because we need to keep the train on the tracks, right?

[716] Yeah.

[717] I think, like I may have mentioned to you before, I sometimes feel, I would hope that when someone listens to this podcast, I'm quite a coherent.

[718] person who can express myself quite well, but sometimes in the heat of the directing moment, that seems to evaporate.

[719] And I just can't quite put into words what it is I'm trying to express or it's just a confusing, contradictory mush of ideas.

[720] And then you actually just has to say, what do you want?

[721] And now increasingly I try to be much more clean, incoherent, not trying to overwhelm an actor with too much.

[722] And also I don't compliment enough.

[723] I just, I just always forget to say great work.

[724] Yeah.

[725] And that's a great mistake because everyone needs that.

[726] Yeah, 100%.

[727] I was the, you know, I'm sure you hear this a bunch, but I was the biggest fan of the office, the original office.

[728] And that's you and Ricky.

[729] What is so beautiful about that show is that it's just, it reels you in so quickly with just being one of the funniest things I've ever, ever seen for sure.

[730] But then where it went emotionally, I just thought was the most spectacular achievement.

[731] of the whole thing.

[732] It was so emotional.

[733] I was so in love with Lucy.

[734] Yeah.

[735] And her and Martin's relationship was just so wonderful in the Christmas special.

[736] And it was so beautiful.

[737] And I loved it so much that I just never, ever gave the U .S. Office of Chasas.

[738] I just couldn't do it.

[739] Like, I watched one episode of it.

[740] And again, I love everyone on it.

[741] It was brilliantly done.

[742] I just thought, I'm not going to get the emotional voyage I got on this other show.

[743] I could just sense that this was going to be an American version or something.

[744] And I think I've, I think I robbed myself of it because I'll catch it now on TV now that I don't have this chip on my shoulder about the original one.

[745] And I'm like, oh my God, it's spectacular in its own original way.

[746] Yes, absolutely, 100%.

[747] But it's so dicey if you've loved this other thing.

[748] Right.

[749] I almost thought the American version like a cover version of a great song.

[750] Uh -huh.

[751] You know, and that you, if it's a big rock number, you can actually do an acoustic version and it's still.

[752] great, right?

[753] It has a different feel, but it can still give you a different, but complementary emotion.

[754] And then along the way, it absorbed these other amazing people's fingerprints like Mike Scher's and Middies and all these people, right?

[755] And so then it became some other spectacular thing on its own, which is really cool.

[756] Do you know Peter Serafinoetz?

[757] Yeah.

[758] Okay, so Peter's a friend of Kristen and I's.

[759] And so I went to his house in England once, and his wife, whose name I've forgotten, she was on a very, very popular English show, too.

[760] She's done a number of Yeah, comedy things.

[761] One was a big, big hit.

[762] It was like you're all's friends or something.

[763] I wish I could remember that name of it.

[764] Coupling?

[765] Yeah.

[766] Oh, couple.

[767] Yeah, yeah.

[768] And so I'm kind of sitting in their living room and I'm like, oh, so how many seasons of that did you do?

[769] Right.

[770] And I don't know what it was.

[771] But it was like three or four or something.

[772] Right.

[773] And then at that time, I'm like, yeah, in the office only did three seasons.

[774] And there's just a completely different paradigm in TV in England, right?

[775] Yes.

[776] Which boggles us, especially me as a greedy little piggy.

[777] actor, which is the actors there don't ever make that windfall of money.

[778] Right.

[779] No. Right?

[780] Well, chiefly because there's no syndication.

[781] You've got to think that, you know, we're a much smaller country of 60 million people plus, and we don't have the sort of syndicated way that traditionally is how is how American actors and TV made their money, right?

[782] The friends guys got it through syndication as much as the success of the show first time around.

[783] And there's no model for that in England.

[784] So what basically once the show is aired on the BBC, that's it.

[785] That's that.

[786] You wait for the rerun, you know.

[787] Still streaming came out.

[788] Well, until streaming and these other things came along, right.

[789] Yeah.

[790] And then the huge incentive to just keep pushing is gone.

[791] Right.

[792] I mean, you know, I think probably for Rick, you know, Rick and I were writing and directing all of the episodes and he was in them.

[793] And, you know, and so we would do six episodes and we were burn out.

[794] Sure.

[795] Yeah.

[796] And then, you know, be like a year later, we'd do another six.

[797] And by the end of the two seasons, we were like, I don't, do we have any more ideas for this?

[798] Right.

[799] I think we were worried that it would just start repeating itself.

[800] If you knew there was $100 million at the end of that decision, oh, we'd have kept going for years.

[801] You'd have dug a little deeper.

[802] Of course we would have.

[803] Oh my goodness.

[804] Yes.

[805] And actually, I think probably, because it was the first thing we'd done, we didn't realize how hard it would be to keep doing stuff.

[806] You know, up with a show like that where all the parts worked where the alchemy was right that you just because it's the first thing you're like every show we do will have this is this is this is easy absolutely and actually so it's only later when you go oh maybe we should keep going because that that's just very hard to repeat that formula well i heard a phrase since which i which i wish someone had told me the time which was don't quit a hit yeah that's good so was there at all like a giddiness or and again this will probably make you really uncomfortable because i think english people hate talking about money but was Is there this, was there a fun sticker shock of coming to this country and going, oh, goodness, okay, so if we do this show for nine years, I'm like, we're going to make real money.

[807] Oh, of course.

[808] But, but I, I was something of a, of a historian of TV, particularly even American TV, just as a fan.

[809] I just, you know, I was one of those nerds who would just read a lot about it.

[810] Yeah.

[811] When I was young, even before you could, um, read, research things on the internet.

[812] I just, like, I used to collect mad magazines.

[813] magazine from America.

[814] And they would do kind of jokey spoofs of all these shows I'd never even heard of.

[815] And so I felt like I always kind of had, was tuned in to American comedy and culture.

[816] And so I knew when the American version of the office was discussed that if, if it ran for a number of years, it was a bit of a lottery win for us.

[817] Yeah.

[818] And, um, but at the same time, I kind of also I would say to Ricky, you know, it's, that's like winning the Olympics.

[819] Like the chances of that happening are very slim.

[820] And so just, you know, you know, you weren't out buying yachts and Rolex is because you just assumed it was never going to work, you know?

[821] But a very fun thing to happen, though, right?

[822] Oh, unbelievable.

[823] But unbelievable because it takes, one of the reasons we finished that office first time round, we had a slightly kind of artsy, indie kind of sensibility of that.

[824] We just wanted to do a great work, piece of work, and we were very proud of it, and we didn't want to burn up the goodwill, and we didn't want to keep hammering this thing until everyone hated it, and they said it was past its prime.

[825] and so there was part of us that felt like a record album like here's this thing and it's a classic and you're welcome yeah and so um so it wasn't just it wasn't mercenary you know i'm sure we could probably ask for a good chunk of change if we've done another season but we you know so so but what the what the america the success of the american version is it just took the pressure off paying the bills yeah which is liberating as an artist yeah exactly is part of it also those programs are funded by the public BBC it it's it In a sense, yes, that's right.

[826] Yes, yes.

[827] The BBC is, people talk about it like a tax, and I suppose in a sense it is.

[828] But basically the BBC is funded by what they call the license fee.

[829] Everyone who owns a TV in the UK has to pay for one of these license fees.

[830] And that allows them to watch TV across the board plus the BBC.

[831] And then the BBC is paid for by that.

[832] So then it would get tricky a little bit, right, if there was a headline that said you and Ricky were making, you know, 18 million a year.

[833] And this is public money, that gets dicey, right?

[834] Well, and actually, that happens frequently anyway, so not with us because we haven't made anything with them for a while.

[835] But yes, you'll, so the highest paid stars periodically get hauled over the coals for that.

[836] Okay, so once the office is regarded the way it is, it's immediately a big show here in the U .S., right?

[837] Right.

[838] Do you get any kind of paralysis?

[839] Like, oh, fuck, we've got to top this thing next time.

[840] Did it lead to any kind of writer's block, or does it help to have a partner in that situation?

[841] It does.

[842] And I remember having conversations where, again, I felt a little bit more like wiser than my years because I remember saying the success of the show and the way it caught fire certainly in the UK public consciousness was beyond anything we could have imagined.

[843] And so I was smart enough at least to know that that's not something we could replicate easily.

[844] It didn't mean that we couldn't do something good.

[845] just mean that that added factor the Vince Vaughn charisma of it is this other thing that you can't plan for and so it seemed to me that to try and top it was going to be was a fool's errand and so it's better to just kind of do something that could sit parallel to it as you said you guys wrote and directed every single episode so here you would have had a writer's room right does that even exist in England almost never yeah I'm on a multi -camera sitcom right now and there are way more writers than then cast absolutely but they come down there's 20 30 people that's right and I'm like oh wow this is yeah yeah yeah well it's a real sort of creative machine you know and you're a much more we're like this weird little cottage industry in England you know just two old ladies running a little tea shop you know against the kind of might of the the the sort of American machine and do I remember hearing that you guys were kind of really inspired by the Larry Sanders show that was certainly an influence.

[846] I think the influences were, I think on Rick's part, Spinal Tap, was a big influence on him.

[847] And oddly for me, I'm glad you responded to the romantic element because I was always very keen for that, because I loved shows, particularly comedy shows that had a strong kind of romantic.

[848] Well, cheers.

[849] But also friends, did it, I thought, really well in the early seasons.

[850] It's Monica's life.

[851] It's my favorite.

[852] Right?

[853] Yeah.

[854] And also, I used to love Northern Exposure.

[855] Oh!

[856] That was the first show I fell in love with.

[857] Loved it.

[858] What a show.

[859] And there was the moment where, spoiler alert, there were the, you know, where Dr. Fleischman and Maggie finally kind of got it together.

[860] And I was watching at university and I was the only person who watched that show.

[861] And I was so giddily excited when that happened.

[862] It loved the kind of the will they won't may nature.

[863] In fact, you know, there's such a nerdy thing to say.

[864] There was an X -Files CD -ROM game back years ago.

[865] You know, when you, you know, you'd put the disc in the machine.

[866] and it would load for a and there was a X -Files game that had a little kind of filmed opening sequence with the stars of the X -Files and then they kind of go missing and then the rest of the game is you as this sort of burgeoning FBI detective has to find Muldron Scully and it's one of those games where you know you'd go in a room and there'd be like a click and point and you could examine the room and you could pick up a cup and things like this but it was fairly basic but good and you're this detective and I also thought it revealed a lot about me that there's a moment where your character encounters a female detective.

[867] You're a guy and you discover this sort of female detective and there's these little filmed into bits and then they'll pause and then it'll give you options right and one of the option will be ask her if she's seen Mulder and Scully's car ask her if she knows anything about the footprint in the scene of the crime and then the third one would be like compliment her on her sweater and I'm like hmm where's this taking us so I followed that road and basically within this X -File game.

[868] It built up a will they won't a relationship with this detective that I forget Mulder and Scully.

[869] I'm just on board with this.

[870] 100%.

[871] Good luck Molder and Scully.

[872] I've found true love.

[873] Is the American office popular in England at all?

[874] Or is it kind of two camps?

[875] Well, it's funny because our show at the time was much loved.

[876] We very quickly became very popular.

[877] I think also because we weren't not known, so we hadn't it's a good story.

[878] You know, we were the underdogs.

[879] And so I remember, you know, you'd see a newspaper article, and it would say, they're remaking it in America, they'll ruin it.

[880] And then the series would begin, the first series of the American version will begin.

[881] They don't know what they're doing.

[882] This stinks.

[883] And then as Ricky and I just hung around longer, kind of, we were no longer the underdogs, and now it was time for us to take a beating.

[884] So then it was like, the American version far out strips the British one, you know, what were we thinking?

[885] You know, and this sort of went full circle.

[886] there's a very specific career trajectory in England I've noticed which is that you start off you're the new thing and people like you and they're like yeah this is great and then you kind of you become perhaps more popular and more well known and sort of people are like yeah okay yeah yeah this is cool and then they turn and then it's like this guy again and then if you hang around long enough if that doesn't kill you if you can survive that then you become a national treasure then you get a knighthood or something right exactly and then it's just like and then you can just shit the bed Then you can do whatever you're like.

[887] Then you're betting what.

[888] When I look at your acting credits, there's really fun ones in there.

[889] There's like you were on 24.

[890] Pretty early on, right?

[891] I literally, again, this is what was so weird.

[892] The office was popular among the most unlikely people, including the 24 guys.

[893] And they were fans and we ran into them somewhere.

[894] They're like, come down to 24, hang out.

[895] And we were like, we loved the show.

[896] We were such fans.

[897] So we went down there and then they're like, hey, why don't you put on the shirt?

[898] Bricketts C to you and I'm like yeah So I'm there for like I hand someone A floppy disc or something That's exactly what I had imagined Was the scenario that led to you being on 24th And that's almost entirely how I choose my acting I'm not joking it's literally What sounds like a fun Thing to do Again that's the beauty of having A couple dollars off of a syndicated show So this is your first Solo directing feature And what was the impetus for it.

[899] Well, I, this is the most unlikely story because this project originated because Dwayne the Rock Johnson was in a hotel room in England whilst making a Fast and the Furious film and saw a documentary on British TV about a family of wrestlers from England who wrestle in provincial little theatres in England and all, the whole family, mum, dad, the kids, everyone.

[900] And the two teenage kids, brother and sister, got the chance to audition for the WWE, which obviously if you're a wrestling fan is, or if you're a wrestler, is the big leagues, right?

[901] That's Hollywood.

[902] That's, that's, that's it.

[903] And so this documentary covered this, their audition process and how much this meant to the family and how they were rooting for them and how this was going to change everything and it was going to make them big stars and that was obviously going to help the family wrestling business and everything.

[904] And only the daughter got signed.

[905] Probably not what they were expecting.

[906] Which was not the way not what they're expecting, and the brother had to deal with that rejection, and it was very tough for him because he'd been raised as the sort of, you know, as the potential wrestling star of the family.

[907] Meanwhile, his sister, who never had that much interest initially, goes off and goes off to Florida and has to do it.

[908] And then that's where the documentary ends.

[909] And Dwayne, coming from a wrestling family, saw this and was just immediately, completely enamored of this story, and actually weirdly reached out to them and kind of ended up sort of being tangentially involved in her career.

[910] Cut two several years later, and he decided this could be a movie, and I don't know if this is true, but I think he maybe only has two British people in his phone, right?

[911] It's me and Jason Statham.

[912] And, you know, what I lack in, you know, in charisma and kind of upper body strength, I make up more in typing speed, and he needed someone to sort of write the movie.

[913] Someone fast on the keys.

[914] And so he sent the documentary to me, and I'd worked with him, bizarrely, in this film called Tooth Fairy, some years ago, you're welcome.

[915] And so I ended up meeting with you.

[916] Dwayne and we I ended up making this film about this family yeah with actors in it and but telling this girl's story uh with Dwayne as a producer and also in it as himself uh -huh and Vince turned and it's just like the weird so it's such an odd conflation of different yeah personalities and and and a British story but an American story and and you know so anyway this is where we've ended up stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare Is it harder for you when you're writing and creating something to not have started creating the world from the page one?

[917] I found this an enormous relief in a way.

[918] It was still incredibly hard because you're trying to manage this real life story.

[919] You fill an obligation to the people, but you don't want it to just be a hagiography of their lives, as they say.

[920] Yeah.

[921] So I cut you off.

[922] A what?

[923] A hagiography, you know, where you, it's simply a fawning celebration of them.

[924] Oh, yes.

[925] Without any kind of critical...

[926] A puff piece.

[927] A puff piece.

[928] Although in England, a puff is not a good word.

[929] Was that a gay pejorative?

[930] A puff.

[931] A puff.

[932] A puff.

[933] Not a puff.

[934] A puff piece you could say.

[935] Okay, right.

[936] I intend to with reckless abandon the next time I'm in England.

[937] Confusingly, of course, a fag is a cigarette.

[938] You're free to say.

[939] Yes, you can say that anything.

[940] Unless you're super anti -lung cancer.

[941] It's all complicated.

[942] But no, but, So it was actually weirdly easier because they were real people that went to me, and they are so kind of larger than life anyway, and just their sort of ready -made characters, which was great.

[943] Well, I guess in wrestling, you have to pick an archetype just to have a persona.

[944] Right, but that was what was sort of interesting, because I didn't know anything about wrestling, and I had no interest in it, and I didn't want to make a film just for wrestling fans.

[945] I wanted to make a film that appealed to non -restling fans.

[946] Yeah.

[947] And so, but at the same time, I had to figure out how it all works, because it's such.

[948] a confusing, weird levels of reality are so bizarre.

[949] Like the stakes are not there?

[950] You don't really win or lose.

[951] And so it's not like Rocky where when he knocks out Apollo Creed, you know what that means because when she wins a match, it's phony, right?

[952] So then you're actually right.

[953] But at the same time, the audience inevitably wants the kind of final match because it's a, you know, it has all the sporting infrastructure.

[954] It has to have it.

[955] And so then you're right.

[956] It's like, well, what are the stakes of a race?

[957] wrestling match.

[958] But that's what's interesting and what I discovered actually, Duane was really useful about this, is that within wrestling, particularly in the WWE, when you get your shot, you have to win over that crowd, right?

[959] You know, you, you, you, there's not, because not every wrestler is a superstar, right?

[960] So there's something about you, your persona, your showmanship, your skills, your athleticism, your storytelling ability in the ring, that is the thing which, as they call it, puts you over with the crowd.

[961] Yes.

[962] And so then I start thinking, it's like gladiator, right, where he says, you know, If you win over the crowd, you win the fight, whatever.

[963] And so you end up with this movie, which is like a weird mix of kind of a Broadway backstage musical and the kid gets her shot at the big time.

[964] And then you get, it's like a little bit sports movie.

[965] And there's this thing called K -Fabe where it's the weird blurring of your own life with the fiction of wrestling.

[966] So like the Rock told me that he, for a while, he and John Sina genuinely had a real life beef that would then be played out in the ring.

[967] And so you're like bringing this weird element of reality.

[968] It's such an unusual.

[969] It's so bizarre because, you know, I think you get, perhaps you build yourself up as a hero, right?

[970] As a baby face, as they call them, right?

[971] And you sort of, that's how you win over your crowd and you become known as a baby face.

[972] And then Vince McMahon or someone, the WWE chief, will come to me and go, we're going to make you a villain in the next season.

[973] And you're like, what?

[974] My fan base loves me. Yeah.

[975] And so it's, also I haven't been playing at that.

[976] So I guess I'm just being recast With the same face With the same face, yeah Yeah, that's so fascinating Who else is in it?

[977] So it's Dwayne is himself, Vince, as her trainer And this young, very talented actually called Florence Pugh, who plays Paige Who is the name of the real life wrestling star And she became ultimately a big star at the WWE So it's a real guy, Ragster Rich's story Which is great.

[978] Her brother is played by this actor called Jack Loudon Who's also terrific.

[979] And then the parents are played by Lina Heidi from Game of Thrones and Nick Frost, who's done a lot of directors of movies as the doubt.

[980] And they're terrific in it.

[981] Now, when do you use your superpowers to nerd out?

[982] Like, are you a Game of Thrones fan?

[983] I'm not.

[984] You're not.

[985] No, I haven't.

[986] I'm going to have to ask you to leave you.

[987] But when do you, let's say you were a huge Game of Thrones fan.

[988] Yes.

[989] You're in a position that you probably could call enough people to get yourself onto the set.

[990] Right, right.

[991] Yeah.

[992] What things have you, like, nerded out on that you, wanted to go.

[993] Well, 24 back in the day.

[994] But it's funny because I know there's a lot of people that get very excited about visiting the Star Wars set.

[995] There's loads of people that kind of, I played a Stormtrooper.

[996] And I, whereas I think over time, the more I've been in this business, the less of that geek fan I've been, I used to really be that person.

[997] And now I think just, I've seen how the sausage is made.

[998] It's a very mechanical process.

[999] It's a very mechanical process.

[1000] And it's just not as exciting as it used.

[1001] to seem to me. And so I think musicians I would get more.

[1002] If you told me that Bruce Springsteen was going to walk in, I would freak out, I wouldn't know what to do.

[1003] Then I would crumble, you know, because I don't understand, you know, his alchemy, his magic.

[1004] He's, that's Elvis for me. That's Jesus.

[1005] I don't know how.

[1006] Right.

[1007] Whereas if you told me that a successful actor was coming in, I'd be like, oh, I'm excited to meet them, but I don't think that the allure, the mystery wouldn't be the same.

[1008] Yeah, I agree.

[1009] And then the saddest thing, of all of it probably is you start this thing because you love film and television.

[1010] Right.

[1011] Right.

[1012] And then the more and more you know about it, the more and more you do it, the harder and harder it gets to watch, right?

[1013] You were talking about, you know, I used to watch Friends.

[1014] I used to watch Northern Exposure.

[1015] Those shows could not have gone on long enough, in my opinion.

[1016] And now I find it hard to watch a continuing series because I feel like, I know these writers are just trying to keep this alive.

[1017] Is it going to be a payday if they can do six seasons?

[1018] Yes.

[1019] It's like, you know, you can start to see the mechanic.

[1020] But also, I don't know, I've, I never used to be jealous.

[1021] I never used to have career envy or any of that stuff.

[1022] And, and do you know what, the first, I had it for the first time really in a pronounced way this year.

[1023] And the person I was envious of was Bradley, was Bradley.

[1024] Oh, because I'm like, I've met Bradley.

[1025] He was utterly lovely when I met him.

[1026] And I was like, this is a very good looking man who seems like a very charming guy and a talented actor.

[1027] And now he's an amazing director.

[1028] He might win an Oscar.

[1029] Like, what are you?

[1030] That's not the rules.

[1031] The rules are good -looking guys can't be that.

[1032] And you can sing.

[1033] Oh, my God.

[1034] I'll make it even worse.

[1035] We've been friends for 14 years.

[1036] And so I'm watching it going like, yeah, what the fuck, dude?

[1037] Oh, you can sing all of a sudden?

[1038] I mean, where's the, yeah.

[1039] You couldn't sing when I knew you 10 years ago.

[1040] Sickening.

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] But what's weird is because I know him and I love him and root for him.

[1043] Actually, I've gotten to a point where now I, and I've done enough.

[1044] I finally feel like it for you.

[1045] I'm like, I'm good.

[1046] Things are good.

[1047] I can now actually look at someone like that and go like, of course he can do it.

[1048] He's just that.

[1049] He's an angel.

[1050] Right, right, right.

[1051] He's got a horseshoe in his ass and he's like, he probably could discover he could play fiddle next week.

[1052] And then I weirdly get like embracing others.

[1053] Oh, there's a real life superhero among us.

[1054] Exactly.

[1055] Well, I wish you a ton of luck.

[1056] The movie, actually, there are many people who've watched it who've been reduced to tears.

[1057] And I don't mean that in a kind of, I want my money back way.

[1058] I mean it in a kind of emotional way.

[1059] So it is, it's a very emotional story.

[1060] I'd also imagine the real test for you is you don't want to alienate wrestling fans.

[1061] And you also don't want to make a movie about wrestling.

[1062] It's not about wrestling in the end.

[1063] I keep thinking about that movie, Billy Elliott.

[1064] Do you ever see that movie?

[1065] Oh, fucking love Billy.

[1066] Which is not really about ballet, right?

[1067] It's about a young man who wants to be a ballet dancer.

[1068] You don't need to care about ballet to care about him.

[1069] And it's the same with this.

[1070] You don't need to have any interest in wrestling.

[1071] Well, Stephen, it was such a delight to talk.

[1072] to you um you were so funny on the good place but it was a great delight to see you on that episode and i was great fun to do i assume you did that because you know mike and i did i know mike and also i have to say uh working with ted was a you know as a cheers fan all those years you know and does that motherfucker deliver oh my god he's as sweet as a janet episode yes i was in that episode too very very quickly yeah yeah that was our favorite episode because a monica was in it and b you were in it but c darcy got to show off yes yes absolutely and she has our favorite yeah yeah all right we'll come back the next next movie you direct and we'll chat more about the many fascinating differences between british and americans thank you so much for having me all right and now my favorite part of the show the fact check with my soulmate monica padman i think i may have already done this one but okay okay you're ready well she's a real tough cookie with a long history we'll find a little facts like the one you see spit out some truth let's get down to it hit me with your best facts why don't you hit me with your best facts hit me with your best facts fire away I don't remember hearing that before so I think it's new Pat Benatar I liked that that's Pat Benatar I believe so I thought it was Chenaya Twain no no no no I thought for a second.

[1073] It was Joan Jep, but then I remembered it wasn't.

[1074] Pat Benatar.

[1075] You know what I associate Pat Benatar with?

[1076] The Bowling Alley.

[1077] Now, you didn't really have this experience in your youth, right?

[1078] But I used to go to the bowling alley to kind of like get a hot dog or maybe play a video game or just kind of loiter when I was in sixth, seventh grade.

[1079] And it was a real rough place to hang out because there was always a bar.

[1080] I'm speaking now specifically about the Highland Bowling Alley.

[1081] And there was always a bar.

[1082] So there was adults in there getting pretty plastered on like, you know, Wednesday afternoons and stuff.

[1083] So it was just a little bit seedy.

[1084] Sure.

[1085] And that, those songs were the soundtrack.

[1086] Soundtrack.

[1087] Thank you for that experience.

[1088] Yeah, sure.

[1089] Yeah.

[1090] I went to the bowling alley.

[1091] My, I think probably six birthday was at a bowling alley.

[1092] Yeah, that's probably a little different.

[1093] Okay.

[1094] Why?

[1095] Well, because you went to bowl, right?

[1096] With friends and whatnot.

[1097] Yeah, I never went to the bowling alley to not bowl, no. Yeah, we were just kind of hanging in the middle of the afternoon.

[1098] And you never bowled.

[1099] Not when we'd go there after school to just hang.

[1100] Really?

[1101] We'd also take what we'd do is behind the bowling alley.

[1102] There'd be all these empty fifths from the bar.

[1103] And we'd take a couple of boxes of them.

[1104] And my friend Kevin Gwen, the train ran in his backyard.

[1105] His backyard had a fucking train flying through it.

[1106] So we would chuck fifths at the side of the train and they would break.

[1107] It was really fun.

[1108] He also shot his 20 -gauge shotgun at the train one time.

[1109] I don't like that.

[1110] Well, it wasn't a passenger car to help it.

[1111] How do you know?

[1112] Well, because it was just a steel conics container on that.

[1113] There could have been a boy in there.

[1114] Well, sure, sure, I guess.

[1115] Well, if there were, he was on an adventure and we made it a little more exciting for him.

[1116] That's true.

[1117] No, I didn't have that.

[1118] We would go to the movie theater and hang out and stand outside the movie theater.

[1119] So there was just like 45 kids standing outside the movie theater.

[1120] And I thought about that as an adult.

[1121] I was like, that would be so horrible.

[1122] as an adult to show up to the movie theater and have to wade through a whole sea of annoying teenagers yeah we we did it too on friday nights we went to the milford cinema yeah very small little theater in a strip mall and occasionally like you're right some adults wouldn't be hit to the fact that that was our junior high hangout no one would ever go there on a friday night unless they just didn't realize that right and they'd be they'd sit down to watch splash or some movie and we would just be tearing the place down.

[1123] People are getting fingered.

[1124] People are making out.

[1125] People are screaming and jumping over seats.

[1126] There's a fight every now and then.

[1127] I mean, what a terrible environment to see a motion picture.

[1128] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1129] Sorry, Milford Cinema, but some of my best memories were there.

[1130] Did you?

[1131] So you saw movies.

[1132] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1133] I mean, whatever movie was out on Friday, it didn't matter.

[1134] Right.

[1135] We just needed a box to sit in and finger each other.

[1136] We normally didn't see a movie.

[1137] It just stayed outside.

[1138] Every now and then, we would, like I told you about bringing on Coyote Ugly.

[1139] Mm -hmm.

[1140] Everyone got tickets to bring it up, but some of us didn't.

[1141] So we had to go see Coyote Ugly because it sold out.

[1142] Oh, so embarrassing.

[1143] And for the most part, we just stood.

[1144] We just stood.

[1145] There was always like someone was going to fight someone that was always a rumor.

[1146] Oh, right, right.

[1147] Oh, good.

[1148] I'm glad that that was.

[1149] The fights would be scheduled during the week.

[1150] Yep.

[1151] And then they would take place on Friday at the Milford Cinema.

[1152] But also, we would go into the IGA there.

[1153] the shopping center and steal a cart and a cigarette sometimes, which is really regrettable, but I'm just, I'm here to be dead honest with you.

[1154] That's something that we also did.

[1155] And I will be honest, because you're talking about the bowling alley, one time, it was a bunch of friends hanging out, a bunch of guy friends and girlfriends.

[1156] And we were watching a movie at a house and all the girls fell asleep but me. So then all the guys and I went to the bowling alley.

[1157] This was not that long ago, which is embarrassing.

[1158] We went to the bowling alley Oh, as an adult?

[1159] Kind of.

[1160] I guess we were probably, we were like right out of college.

[1161] Uh -huh.

[1162] Young adults.

[1163] Y -A.

[1164] Y -A.

[1165] And then we went to the bowling alley, we bowled, and then we left, and we didn't pay.

[1166] Intentionally?

[1167] Yes, but not for me. It wasn't intentional for me, but then we were in the car and I was like, wait, we didn't pay.

[1168] And they're like, yeah, it was planned.

[1169] And then I felt so, guilty.

[1170] I almost went back the next day and paid.

[1171] There's an episode of Silver Spoons about that.

[1172] And they were going to dine and dash.

[1173] Everyone knows dine and dash, but I didn't realize people bold and bolted.

[1174] I didn't either.

[1175] Did they call it a bowl and bolt?

[1176] I was in shock, so I don't know.

[1177] Okay.

[1178] That must have been a real hard situation for you.

[1179] It was.

[1180] I really was like, morally, and I really probably should go back and pay.

[1181] But then I'm like kind of throwing my friends under the bus.

[1182] Well, you could have just gone in and said, oh, we got in the car and I realize none of us paid we all thought the other person paid how about the next is the bowling only still around i don't know it probably went out of business because all these people are not bowling and bolting yeah m b and b brooklynne and oh yikes don't associate brooklyn with this kind of behavior no no no they pay their bills they're like the lannisters they always pay their debts yeah anyway that was a bad day i'm sorry that happened me too it happened to me yeah What if the Statue of Limitations is such that they hear this and then they press charges and then you go to jail?

[1183] Yeah, what if they sue me for all I'm worth, which is more now than it was back then.

[1184] Yeah, they waited.

[1185] It was smart for them to wait.

[1186] Yeah, because God knows what the damages are, the pain and suffering.

[1187] Yeah, because what if that lady got fired because she was not paying enough attention to charge us?

[1188] There probably was a butterfly effect because of this.

[1189] Yeah, absolutely.

[1190] People have died.

[1191] Uh -huh.

[1192] It's possible.

[1193] We're all going to get tracked back to you now, though.

[1194] I go.

[1195] We're going to have to have cereal doing this whole series on you.

[1196] Speaking of cereal.

[1197] Speaking of which.

[1198] First fact.

[1199] We had a natural segue.

[1200] Natural segue.

[1201] I want our misophonia listeners to know how considerate we are of them.

[1202] Because I really want to be eating these cashews that are next to me. And you have said you actually can't do it.

[1203] Well, yeah.

[1204] Which is the right thing to tell me. It just, I do want you to know that we give a lot of thought to the misophonia.

[1205] is.

[1206] Well, the other day, when I was editing, you were eating and I heard it.

[1207] I heard it for the first time.

[1208] I heard how horrible it sounds.

[1209] We're losing our natural segue talking about this.

[1210] But so the...

[1211] Should we have a podcast called Lost Segways?

[1212] People probably think it was literal, like people looking for their two -wheel vehicles.

[1213] Probably.

[1214] This is a recurring theme where we start a conversation.

[1215] and then forget.

[1216] I love it.

[1217] Yeah.

[1218] Anyhow, Guinness Book of World Records's most consumed podcast of all time says the Ricky Jervais show.

[1219] Uh -huh.

[1220] And you bring that up.

[1221] Serial is the most downloaded podcast of all time.

[1222] That must have been at the time.

[1223] Yes, it was much before serial.

[1224] 2007.

[1225] Guinness World Record for the World's Most Downloaded podcast, having gained an average of 261 ,670 downloads per episode during its first month.

[1226] And then according to the BBC, by September 2006, the podcast of the series had been downloaded nearly 18 million times.

[1227] As of March 2011, the podcast had been downloaded over 300 million times.

[1228] That is a lot, especially back then, but this is still just a lot.

[1229] But serial is the most downloaded podcast of all time.

[1230] I asked Brad from Simplecast, Simplecast is our hosting platform.

[1231] And there's a very nice man, Brad, who runs it.

[1232] And I asked him to help me fact check this.

[1233] And he did.

[1234] Oh, he did.

[1235] Yeah.

[1236] Also, just so everyone, oh, just so everyone knows, which that was timely.

[1237] I sound horrible in this episode.

[1238] I must have been sick.

[1239] This was a long time ago and I don't remember.

[1240] I sound so bad.

[1241] You do.

[1242] Yes.

[1243] But bad.

[1244] That's a weighty word bad.

[1245] No, it sounds bad.

[1246] So different.

[1247] Gross.

[1248] Oh.

[1249] Sometimes I love when I get a bad cold in my voice is a little hoarse.

[1250] Me too.

[1251] When I've screamed and it's a little lower and raspier.

[1252] Yeah, I like that.

[1253] When you're losing your voice a little bit, that's not what this sounded like.

[1254] It sounded just yucky.

[1255] Like a yuck.

[1256] Yeah.

[1257] So I just want people to know I recognize that and I'm sorry.

[1258] Okay.

[1259] But what can I do?

[1260] I was sick and I went to work.

[1261] Right.

[1262] Powered through.

[1263] Oh, I have to make a correction.

[1264] Okay, correct.

[1265] On Nora Jones episode, I mistakenly said George Harrison was the one who has the very funny with peace and love with peace and love, stop sending me fan mail.

[1266] Uh -huh.

[1267] That was Ringo Star.

[1268] That's the clip that they always plans turns Ringo Star.

[1269] Oh.

[1270] I got confused.

[1271] Okay.

[1272] Oops.

[1273] So with peace and love, peace and love, I am sorry.

[1274] So he said there were about two other podcasts when he and Ricky started theirs.

[1275] Stephen said that.

[1276] Yeah.

[1277] There's probably more.

[1278] There's more.

[1279] I don't know exactly.

[1280] I asked Brad.

[1281] He hasn't gotten back to me about that one.

[1282] But I did find, according to Pew Research, very reputable source.

[1283] One of the most.

[1284] In 2006, 11 % of U .S. population ages 12 or older, said they had listened to a podcast.

[1285] That's only 11%.

[1286] So there weren't that many.

[1287] So 33 million.

[1288] 33 million folks.

[1289] In 2016, 36 % of people.

[1290] Oh, my goodness.

[1291] That's over 100 million.

[1292] Lots of people have.

[1293] Oh, that's great news.

[1294] And maybe now more.

[1295] I heard a number the other day for the total amount of podcasts currently out.

[1296] And it was in like the 600 ,000 range.

[1297] Somebody told us, yeah, I forget.

[1298] It was a lot.

[1299] Was a lot.

[1300] It's great.

[1301] I love that the barrier to entry is almost non -existent.

[1302] Yeah, anyone can do it.

[1303] It's great.

[1304] It is great.

[1305] Who is the tallest guy ever?

[1306] Robert Wadlow at 8 feet 11 inches.

[1307] Can you imagine?

[1308] Do you think he was so sad that he was just an inch away from nine feet?

[1309] When he died, probably.

[1310] Yeah.

[1311] He probably wasn't that concerned because I think he was in a lot of pain.

[1312] Yeah, well, he had acromegaly, which is, they'll take you down.

[1313] I don't know which ones, but I've been at a Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum, where they had a wax.

[1314] I don't even know if it was made of wax, but it was a statue of Robert Waldo.

[1315] Wadlow.

[1316] I always want to call him Waldo.

[1317] You do always want to.

[1318] Yeah, Wadlow.

[1319] So Wadlow, and it was actual size.

[1320] And it's preposterous when you're in real life next to it.

[1321] That is crazy.

[1322] Three, almost four feet taller than me. Yeah.

[1323] Yeah, only a foot and an inch below a basketball rim.

[1324] Oh, my goodness.

[1325] Did he have acromegaly?

[1326] Because, well, like, maybe this is the same thing.

[1327] It says that he had hyperplasia of his pituitary gland.

[1328] That's the same thing.

[1329] Hyperplasia just means overactive pituitary gland.

[1330] It's always caused by a tumor.

[1331] Oh.

[1332] It's always caused by a tumor?

[1333] Mm -hmm.

[1334] Then can they just remove the tumor?

[1335] So in some cases they can, in some cases they can't.

[1336] Oh.

[1337] Like sometimes it's too emmished in the brain.

[1338] Speaking of that, a few people have said that I could potentially have a tumor based on the peeing story from last week.

[1339] Okay.

[1340] So just let's keep that in mind.

[1341] Okay.

[1342] All right.

[1343] I'm keeping it in mind.

[1344] That's for sure.

[1345] So who played the dad in Teen Wolf?

[1346] James Hampton.

[1347] Hmm.

[1348] He played.

[1349] Jimmy Jammer Hampton.

[1350] This is very long.

[1351] Good.

[1352] How do they make ball bearings perfectly round?

[1353] You said a rod goes through and there's a corkscrew.

[1354] I watched it on how it's made.

[1355] Okay.

[1356] That's where this is.

[1357] The first stage in the process is a cold or hot forming operation.

[1358] A wire of metal approximately the diameter of the finished ball is fed through a heading machine.

[1359] This machine has a metal cavity, the shape of a hemisphere on each side.

[1360] It slams shut on the wire, forcing the piece.

[1361] piece of metal into the shape of a ball.

[1362] The process leaves a ring of metal called flash around the ball, so the balls coming out of this machine looks something like the planet Saturn.

[1363] Next, the balls go into a machine that removes the flash.

[1364] This machine rolls the ball between two very heavy, hardened steel plates called real plates.

[1365] One real plate is stationary, and the other one spins.

[1366] The plates have grooves machined into them that guide the balls around in a circular path.

[1367] One of the plates has a section cut out of it.

[1368] This is where the balls enter, and the other exit the grooves.

[1369] When the machine is running, the grooves are completely filled with balls.

[1370] Once a ball has traveled through a groove, it falls into the open section in the plate and tumbles around for a little while before entering a different groove.

[1371] By making sure the balls travel through many different grooves, all the balls will come out of the machine the same size, even if there are differences between the grooves.

[1372] As the ball travels through the groove, it spins and tumbles, the rough edges get broken off and the ball gets squeeze into a spherical shape, a little like rolling a ball of dough between your hands.

[1373] This squeezing of the balls compresses the metal, giving the balls a very hard surface.

[1374] Ooh, squeeze the balls and get a hard surface.

[1375] Dirty.

[1376] Because the balls are metal, this operation generates a lot of heat.

[1377] So water pours over the balls and plates to cool them.

[1378] The variables in this process are the pressure that squeezes the plates together.

[1379] The speed, the plate spin, and the duration the balls are left in the machine.

[1380] Properly setting these variables will consistently produce balls of the correct size.

[1381] After this operation, the balls may be heat treated.

[1382] This hardens the balls, but it also changes their size.

[1383] The size of the bearing balls has to be perfect, sometimes within millions of an inch.

[1384] So a few more operations are needed after heat treating.

[1385] The balls next go through a grinding operation.

[1386] This same kind of machine is used, but this time the coolant contains an abrasive.

[1387] Ooh, grinder.

[1388] The balls travel through the grooves again and get ground down and compressed to their final dimensions.

[1389] Finally, the balls go through a lapping operation.

[1390] Ooh, lap them.

[1391] Again, the same kind of machine is used, but this time the plates are made of a softer metal, and the machine uses much less pressure to squeeze the plates together.

[1392] Also, the machine uses a polishing paste rather than an abrasive.

[1393] This process gives the balls.

[1394] They're a perfect, smooth, shiny surface without removing any more material.

[1395] The last step in the process is inspection, obviously.

[1396] The balls are measured with very accurate machinery to determine if they meet the required tolerances.

[1397] For instance, the Anti -Friction Bering Manufacturers Association, AFBMA, has a set of grades for bearing balls.

[1398] A grade three ball has to be spherical within three millionths of an inch, and the diameter must be accurate within 30 millionths of an inch.

[1399] This means that for a great three -quarter -inch ball, the diameter would have to be between 0 .24997 and 0 .25003 of an inch.

[1400] And the smallest diameter measured on the ball has to be within three millions of the largest diameter.

[1401] Oh, God.

[1402] Wow.

[1403] I feel like you should have some kind of sex podcast where you just read technical stuff like that.

[1404] Okay.

[1405] And other humans listen to it for arousal.

[1406] Did you think that was arousy?

[1407] Yeah, quite, yeah.

[1408] Just because I was saying balls and abrasion.

[1409] Yeah, rod and stuff like that.

[1410] Hard, soft, shiny.

[1411] Okay, shiny.

[1412] Millions.

[1413] I don't know what that was triggering.

[1414] Interesting.

[1415] So that's a different process by the one I watched on telly.

[1416] That makes sense of press.

[1417] Yeah.

[1418] So now we know.

[1419] Yeah, we do.

[1420] Everything about ball bearing production.

[1421] And now I'm really impressed by it.

[1422] I never would have been impressed.

[1423] I'm never impressed, but I should be impressed by everything.

[1424] I mean, everything is impressive when you really think about it.

[1425] Yes, it's like we were talking about with Bill and I, the science guys.

[1426] Adults just start taking the whole world for granted and they stop being curious how ball bearings are made.

[1427] I know.

[1428] Or if the temperature of the balls change, what did you say?

[1429] They get hard.

[1430] They get hard.

[1431] Probably, yeah.

[1432] Okay.

[1433] Was it Descartes that would lie on his bed for eight hours just thinking about stuff?

[1434] Descartes was a late riser.

[1435] The French philosopher liked to sleep until mid -morning, then linger in bed, thinking and writing until 11 or so.

[1436] Sounds like you.

[1437] Here I sleep 10 hours every night without being disturbed by any care.

[1438] Descartes wrote from the Netherlands where he lived from 1629 until the last few months of his life.

[1439] And after my mind has wandered and sleep through woods, gardens, and enchanted palaces where I experience every pleasure imaginable.

[1440] I wake to mingle the reveries of the night with those of the day.

[1441] These late morning hours of meditation constituted his only concentrated intellectual effort for the day.

[1442] Descartes believed that idleness was essential to good mental work and he made sure not to over -exert himself.

[1443] After an early lunch, he would take a walk or meet friends for conversation.

[1444] After supper, he dealt with correspondence.

[1445] Oh, what a lie.

[1446] Yeah.

[1447] Doesn't that sound wonderful?

[1448] Yeah.

[1449] You know what I did think about, though, the fact that he was riding in the 1600s and taking these 10 -hour.

[1450] slumbers, you know, by comparison, comparatively, in a world without cars or motorcycles or television or really any stimulation other than books, I bet dreaming was a much more exciting proposition.

[1451] That's true.

[1452] Like I'm a little bit bored after eight hours of sleep.

[1453] I want to get up and get some coffee in me and get stimulated a little bit.

[1454] But, you know, by comparison, if you were waking up and it just got more boring to be awake, why not extend that slumber?

[1455] 10 hours than staying in an ethereal slumbery state.

[1456] True.

[1457] And come up with, I think, therefore I am.

[1458] Okay.

[1459] So he said that pubs used to close around 11 because in World War I, they needed them to be clear -headed in the morning.

[1460] Correct.

[1461] Ooh, great fun fact.

[1462] Yes.

[1463] Before the outbreak of the war, and partly because of the rising support of the temperance movement, urging the moderate consumption of alcohol, licensing laws began to restrict the opening hours of premises.

[1464] But immediately after the outbreak of war in August 1914, Parliament passed the defense of the Realm Act, which covered a range of measures to support the Allied effort of the war.

[1465] A section of the act looked specifically at the hours in which publicans...

[1466] I've never heard it said like that.

[1467] I didn't know that.

[1468] Publicans could sell alcohol, as it was strongly believed that high levels of alcohol consumption would have a negative impact on the war effort.

[1469] It therefore restricted opening hours for licensed premises to lunch, 1 ,200 hours to 1 ,400.

[1470] So just two hours.

[1471] And later to supper, 1830 to 2130.

[1472] Yeah, okay, 6 .30 to 9 .30.

[1473] Just doing some quick math over here.

[1474] Good math.

[1475] I'm so glad we don't have to do military time for everything.

[1476] Me too.

[1477] Lots of math.

[1478] October 1915, the British government announced a further series of measures they believed it would reduce alcohol consumption further.

[1479] A, quote, no treating order, unquote, laid down that any drink ordered was to be paid for by the person's supply.

[1480] So to dissuade rounds of drinks or drinks on credit.

[1481] That's interesting.

[1482] Very.

[1483] The maximum penalty for defying the government order was six months imprisonment.

[1484] Well, that won't help the war effort.

[1485] If everyone's in prison.

[1486] up an able -bodied young man. You know, my sexism goes straight to these are all for men.

[1487] These rules.

[1488] Don't they feel like that a little bit?

[1489] Yeah, I don't even know if they would have served women these drinks.

[1490] I hope not.

[1491] They can't be trusted with alcohol.

[1492] Percentage of people in the UK who get therapy, you guys thought it was low.

[1493] The Guardian 2010 said, almost one in five people has consulted a counselor or a psychotherapist, while almost half the population knows someone who has, according to a survey by the British Association of Counseling and Psychotherapy, which suggests that the stigma attached to taking therapies is disappearing.

[1494] The association says that attitudes towards counseling and psychotherapy appear to have changed markedly since it conducted a comparable investigation in 2004.

[1495] The current survey found that 94 % of people now consider an acceptable deaf counseling and psychotherapy for anxiety and depression compare with just 67 % in 2004.

[1496] Well, I wonder how many people have seen a therapist in the old U .S., the old Stars and Stripes.

[1497] Probably a lot.

[1498] 20 % of English people in 2010 had.

[1499] I wonder what the number is here.

[1500] Oh, we talked about Japanese drinking culture.

[1501] Mm -hmm.

[1502] And I checked in with our friend Erica, and she said, yeah, that she would be riding her bike home and she'd see.

[1503] Businessmen's sleep.

[1504] in the bushes.

[1505] Yeah.

[1506] And then I also looked on the internet and it said Japan is renowned for taking a tough stance on illicit substances.

[1507] But when it comes to legal drugs such as alcohol and tobacco, it tends to turn a blind eye.

[1508] People associate drug abuse with the criminal underworld while alcohol is glorified for being a part of Japanese culture.

[1509] Indeed, the country's liberal attitude toward drinking means that alcohol can be found almost anywhere at any time of the day.

[1510] It is not uncommon to see salary men pass out on benches, women swaying from side to side on their walk home, or ew, ew, piles of vomit jokingly called platform pizza at train stations.

[1511] Oh boy, platform pizza.

[1512] That's disgusting.

[1513] Thank you for calling platform pizza.

[1514] Oh, oh, oh.

[1515] Okay.

[1516] Also, Japanese suicide.

[1517] Oh, that came up?

[1518] Yeah.

[1519] Japan's suicide rate is among the highest in the developed world.

[1520] In 2000.

[1521] Oh, wow.

[1522] Here we go.

[1523] This is that thing where when you were a kid and your friend's brother came in to say that grandma died.

[1524] Who was it that past?

[1525] His teacher.

[1526] Oh, that was horrible.

[1527] Oh, that was horrible.

[1528] Oh, that was horrible.

[1529] No, it wasn't a good laugh.

[1530] An involuntary laugh.

[1531] How about that?

[1532] in 2016 you can't do it there were 17 .3 suicides oh boy there's no way you can say it for every hundred thousand people that's too many too too many it's too many second only to South Korea among major industrialized nations the U .S. figure is 13 .5.

[1533] Oh, so it's not like double R's or anything.

[1534] No. 13 divided by 17.

[1535] I can't do it.

[1536] Yeah.

[1537] 70 %?

[1538] I don't know.

[1539] No, maybe.

[1540] Well, I don't know.

[1541] Yeah.

[1542] Well, now I've got to find out.

[1543] I'll see how close my guess.

[1544] Okay.

[1545] 13 divided by 17.

[1546] 76%.

[1547] Oh, that was pretty close.

[1548] Yeah.

[1549] Okay.

[1550] As in most places, the majority of victims are men.

[1551] The most common method is hanging, unlike the New York.

[1552] Are there a park that people hang themselves?

[1553] A forest?

[1554] A forest.

[1555] No, there's a bridge.

[1556] There's a Japanese forest, too.

[1557] That's what I'm aware of.

[1558] And then that YouTube guy went there and did a live stream.

[1559] He was like a famous YouTube kid.

[1560] Real repugnant.

[1561] I've watched the feed.

[1562] And then he went through there, and I think he saw someone hanging and he did like a bit.

[1563] A bit?

[1564] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1565] That's horrible.

[1566] He got some blowback from that.

[1567] Yeah, I would say so.

[1568] It's horrible.

[1569] Among people aged 15 to 39 in Japan, suicide is a leading cause of death.

[1570] claiming more lives than cancer and accidents combined.

[1571] Oh, my gosh.

[1572] Combined, yeah.

[1573] How are they only having 17 out of 100 ,000 die of cancer?

[1574] I know.

[1575] I feel like 40 ,000 of 100 ,000 Americans die of cancer.

[1576] They're much healthier than us, I think.

[1577] It's all that drinking.

[1578] You know where my attic brain goes when you tell me that story about Japan?

[1579] Mm -hmm.

[1580] I think like, oh, I should move there and no one would care I was a drunk.

[1581] That's my first thought.

[1582] Yeah.

[1583] Mm -hmm.

[1584] I always forget I cared.

[1585] Right.

[1586] Yeah.

[1587] I mean, they might care.

[1588] The families might care.

[1589] I don't know.

[1590] If there's zero social stigmatism, like, if I slept in a bush and Kristen found out about it, she'd be quite disappointed.

[1591] But it sounds like if a normal wife in Japan found out her husband slept in a bush, she'd be like, yeah, whatever.

[1592] That's true.

[1593] I mean, but I think she'd be disappointed because then it means what it means.

[1594] Like, then you're not home.

[1595] You're not there with the children or her.

[1596] And you're not.

[1597] So that's why.

[1598] It's not just because you're sleeping in a book.

[1599] I think even when we were just dating, that would have been a big red flag for her if I slept in a bush.

[1600] Well, yeah, but that's why, because then you're not reliable.

[1601] Yeah, but in Japan, it wouldn't be a thing.

[1602] I guess.

[1603] Clearly, or it wouldn't be allowed.

[1604] Yeah, I guess.

[1605] Tokyo introduced a basic law for suicide countermeasures in 2007 and broadened that law with new more holistic guidelines a decade later.

[1606] So they're working on it.

[1607] They also have Korochi.

[1608] Do you know what Korochi is?

[1609] No. It can be translated literally as overworked death in Japanese.

[1610] It's occupational sudden mortality.

[1611] The major medical cause of Grosci deaths are heart attack and stroke due to stress and starvation diet.

[1612] The phenomenon is also widespread in other parts of Asia.

[1613] So they work a lot.

[1614] Back off the throttle.

[1615] Yeah, we need a break.

[1616] Give me a break.

[1617] Give me a break.

[1618] Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.

[1619] Okay, that's a really good transaction.

[1620] because when you just saying that, the first thing that I think of, I've already said that on here, but I think of Ed Helms in the office, one of the funniest bits on the office is him trying to figure out the last bit to that jingle.

[1621] Oh.

[1622] It's so funny.

[1623] I didn't see that.

[1624] Timely.

[1625] Exactly.

[1626] The office.

[1627] Because as soon as you saying that, I was like, oh, that reminds me of this.

[1628] I wonder if I should say it.

[1629] I've already said it.

[1630] No. But then the next thing on my list is I love the office.

[1631] Mm -hmm.

[1632] Okay.

[1633] Good.

[1634] Do you fact -checked that?

[1635] Yeah.

[1636] And I do love it.

[1637] You stared in the mirror.

[1638] I love that show so much.

[1639] I'm so sad you haven't watched it.

[1640] Yeah, maybe I will.

[1641] I think you should.

[1642] I will.

[1643] It's probably on Netflix or Hulu or something.

[1644] It's on Netflix, yeah.

[1645] Okay.

[1646] I didn't watch the British one, so I should watch that.

[1647] Yeah, it'll be interesting to hear what you think because we both will have baggage.

[1648] Yeah, we will.

[1649] But you know.

[1650] The original office is in my top five TV.

[1651] shows of all time you won't eat curry right it's too triggering for you i have i do yeah you stay away from indian food in general like i've ordered it to the house several times because i love a tiki marsala chicken tiki marcella thanks for helping me you're welcome um in england boy they've got some of the best damn indian food they do i've had it you have among the best cuisine there actually yeah they have a lot of indian food in fact because i went i studied abroad there and a friend Cal who I was there with, she wanted to get Indian food there.

[1652] So that's why we got it because she was like, we have to go.

[1653] Were you embarrassed to be in the restaurant?

[1654] Like two on the nose?

[1655] Yeah.

[1656] That's how I feel when I get barbecue from a hillbilly.

[1657] It's just so obvious.

[1658] Oh, the gladiator quote.

[1659] If you win over the crowd, you win the fight.

[1660] That's not the quote.

[1661] The quote is, then listen to me, learn from me. I wasn't the best because I killed quickly.

[1662] I was the best because the crowd loved me. Win the crowd and you will win your freedom.

[1663] Ooh.

[1664] When the crowd and you will win your freedom.

[1665] Words to live by.

[1666] That's a great movie.

[1667] He also says, hold the line.

[1668] That's my favorite line in it.

[1669] Oh, I don't remember that.

[1670] Because it has the word line in it.

[1671] Oh, that's why you like it.

[1672] It's like a double.

[1673] What's my favorite line?

[1674] I think it's the only line in the movie.

[1675] It's your favorite line.

[1676] Literal line.

[1677] That's ever been said.

[1678] Of all the lines in the world, I guess that one's your favorite.

[1679] That's a great.

[1680] point maybe in Jurassic Park when they said get in line that could have that's a rival yeah I don't know that they said that but it seems like it would have been said line up or something oh okay yeah but probably in some drug movie they said do you want to do a line I'd probably lean towards that you'd love that yeah that's your favorite line yeah okay so who's played a storm trooper okay prince William and Prince Harry oh good job princes actor Tom Hardy and pop legend Gary Barlow.

[1681] They appeared as Storm Troopers in The Last Jedi.

[1682] Do you think when Prince Harry and whatever one, what's the other one's name?

[1683] Megan Markle.

[1684] No, that's not a prince.

[1685] Oh, Prince William.

[1686] Prince William.

[1687] Yeah, I don't know their names.

[1688] Oh.

[1689] Do you think they've ever gone, they've ever been somewhere?

[1690] Because I know the redheaded one was here in America.

[1691] So when he was here, I wonder if he was ever at a bar and someone didn't know who he was.

[1692] Because that could happen to me. And then if the person said, what do you do?

[1693] He said, I'm a prince.

[1694] no he probably doesn't say that he'd have to that's technically what he is that's what he does but that's not what he does like what do you do for a lady oh i'm a prince i would be embarrassed to say that no i'm a prince i don't think he's saying that i think he is saying like oh i work for the royal blah blah blah blah i don't think whatever the full thing is he's saying that he's not saying i'm a prince he is literally a prince of course he's saying and I'm a prince.

[1695] Okay, no, just because you are that doesn't mean that that's what you're saying.

[1696] That's not what you do.

[1697] Let's roll play.

[1698] Okay.

[1699] Hey, how are you doing?

[1700] Hi.

[1701] Can I get you a drink?

[1702] Sure.

[1703] I'll have a margarita on the rocks.

[1704] I don't know what that is.

[1705] We drink a gin.

[1706] A margarita.

[1707] What is that?

[1708] Oh, where are you from?

[1709] England.

[1710] Oh, I've heard of that.

[1711] Oh.

[1712] Oh, cool.

[1713] What part do you live in?

[1714] Oh, right in London.

[1715] Oh, wow.

[1716] Wow, cool.

[1717] And what do you do there?

[1718] Oh, I'm a prince.

[1719] Um, no, I'm one of two princes.

[1720] Okay, fuck you.

[1721] Oh, okay.

[1722] Shall we return the beverage?

[1723] I don't want, oh, your accent face is getting crazy.

[1724] Shall we?

[1725] Because you made him crazy all of a sudden.

[1726] Shall we hail a bali?

[1727] I don't even know.

[1728] What do they call a cab there?

[1729] I don't know.

[1730] Oh, I don't know about me. Should we get in my carriage?

[1731] Listen, he's not saying that because he, because it.

[1732] He's nothing other than that.

[1733] Well, no, he was in the military.

[1734] You could say, oh, exactly.

[1735] He works in the royal government or whatever it's called, royal something.

[1736] The royal family.

[1737] He's a prince in the royal family.

[1738] No, the royal establishment or like, what do they do?

[1739] I don't know, but they.

[1740] That's the thing, Monica.

[1741] They don't do anything.

[1742] I know that.

[1743] It's all ceremonial.

[1744] I know, but there's some name that they can apply.

[1745] That's what I'm saying.

[1746] I think it's, oh, like, I got you.

[1747] Like, you call a trash guy a civil engineer.

[1748] Right.

[1749] Maybe he calls himself like a ceremonial engineer.

[1750] He's not, I don't think he's like on saying I'm a prince.

[1751] Look, they're probably both great guys.

[1752] But obviously, I don't like monarchies.

[1753] I don't believe in that.

[1754] So I'm pretty critical of the whole thing.

[1755] Well, they can't help it.

[1756] They're just boring.

[1757] No, they can.

[1758] That's not their fault.

[1759] Yeah.

[1760] But the whole concede is silly as hell to me. Sure.

[1761] I guess it's similar to just being born with a trust fund That's what I was just thinking Like I mean kids that have Kids are just born into these things Yeah My kids won't be because I'm going to give I'm going to leave all my money to the royal family Good So they can buy more jewels They deserve it Yeah Megan Markle I'm a prince You sound like a Malfoy A what Malfoy Malfoy from Harry Potter Oh Was he a prince?

[1762] No, but he felt like he was.

[1763] He was entitled.

[1764] Yeah, he was.

[1765] Well, thanks for letting me roleplay with you.

[1766] I love acting with you.

[1767] Me too.

[1768] Even when you turn on me in the scene.

[1769] Well, I had to.

[1770] That was the only reaction.

[1771] You lofty piece of shit.

[1772] That's the natural reaction in Vegas if somebody said they were a prince.

[1773] Well, it depends, actually.

[1774] Because I'm, okay.

[1775] Or a princess.

[1776] So what do you do, a young lady?

[1777] Oh, I'm a princess.

[1778] Well, why don't you take a royal sniff of my ass?

[1779] Excuse me?

[1780] Where's the bathroom?

[1781] I'll meet you there.

[1782] You were kind of like Prince.

[1783] I was very ethereal.

[1784] Well, you were more like Princess Hilton.

[1785] Oh, Paris.

[1786] Yes, Princess Hilton.

[1787] Yeah, yeah, sure.

[1788] Was her dog maybe named Princess?

[1789] Probably.

[1790] I liked her, you know, that I partied with her one time.

[1791] I kind of liked her.

[1792] That's good.

[1793] Yeah.

[1794] Okay, that's all.

[1795] That was it?

[1796] That's all.

[1797] I hate when it's over.

[1798] I'm sorry.

[1799] That's okay.

[1800] Don't have a Karoshi over it.

[1801] Okay.

[1802] That's a sudden heart attack or stroke due to stress.

[1803] I'm not, I'm going to make a pledge to you that I won't go down by Karoshi.

[1804] Great.

[1805] Okay.

[1806] I can't make that same promise.

[1807] Okay.

[1808] I love you.

[1809] Love you.

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