MFM Minisode 362

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[2] The minisode.

[3] Here we go.

[4] I don't know.

[5] Email reading time.

[6] I know.

[7] It's time for us to read.

[8] What do you feel like saying from the bottom of your heart?

[9] Should I go first?

[10] Mm -hmm.

[11] Okay.

[12] Boop, boop.

[13] This one's Nola, Halloween hometown haunt.

[14] Georgia.

[15] Karen.

[16] Everyone.

[17] What's up?

[18] I have loved you since Coincidence Island.

[19] And that's the first episode I send friends when recommending you.

[20] Remember that one?

[21] I remember the title.

[22] It was the shared dentures for me, Lull.

[23] Oh, yes.

[24] Remember it was like this culty, weird Galapagos Island tale?

[25] That was the couple on Galapagos Island that was, I curse you with my dying breath.

[26] I still have that needle point that someone made us and gave us at a live show.

[27] Oh, it was epic.

[28] That's in my front room.

[29] I curse you with my dying breath is one of the funniest things that I've ever experienced firsthand.

[30] I like that that's our like, here's the best of.

[31] That story.

[32] Okay, you've been my go -to through years of health issues that destroyed my confidence, crazy family dynamics, abusive roommates, and you know living in the post -apocalyptic world.

[33] Sometimes I just can't tolerate any overly positive, disconnected content.

[34] I mean.

[35] But that it says, you are real but warm and your voices are like butter.

[36] Thank you so much for all the attention you give to important topics like mental health and reproductive rights.

[37] The future is empathy.

[38] and female driven.

[39] Hell yes.

[40] Love it.

[41] Also, just so you know, when you're hearing this, last night, all the voting returns came in.

[42] Ohio just codified abortion rights in the state of Ohio and legalized weed.

[43] Hell yes.

[44] Abortion rights one big last night.

[45] So if you've been stressing, that's one thing to stress slightly less about.

[46] There's plenty of work to do, but feel good.

[47] It's a win.

[48] It's a win.

[49] Let's celebrate it.

[50] And then get back to work.

[51] Okay, so story time.

[52] I went to college in New Orleans.

[53] It was just as wild and perfect as it sounds.

[54] I dated a boy from the neighboring college in the garden district.

[55] He lived across from a cemetery, which is not uncommon in New Orleans.

[56] It was riddled with cats and Mardi Gras beads and was absolutely beautiful.

[57] I used to hold my breath passing the eerie gravestones in Houston, but decided against it in New Orleans because I would have died.

[58] True.

[59] This particular cemetery was one of the first in New Orleans to be integrated.

[60] It contained a mixture of expensive mausoleums and above ground coping graves that are just short walls built up from the water table filled with dirt without a stone top.

[61] One day my wannabe photographer X went walking in the cemetery to take some photos.

[62] Oh, we've dated him.

[63] They love to do that.

[64] He saw what he thought was an animal bone and picked it up, only to immediately drop it when he realized.

[65] it was a human finger.

[66] Oh.

[67] It had floated to the surface after a recent storm.

[68] Over the next week, the finger spirit haunted him relentlessly.

[69] On the first day, he badly jammed two fingers playing catch.

[70] Oh.

[71] On the second, he was putting up a political sign in his yard that gave him such a bad paper cut that it got infected and swollen.

[72] Oh, no. On the third, he burned another couple fingers on the stove he didn't remember turning on.

[73] This isn't good for this guy.

[74] No. That weekend, returning from a night out, his key broke off in the lock.

[75] His dumbass tried to use a pocket knife to Jimmy the door open.

[76] Of course.

[77] The spring failed, shut closed on one of his last good fingers and cut to the bone.

[78] Oh, no. Oh, God.

[79] Yeah, it was a finger spirit.

[80] At this point, I was convinced he pissed off the spirits, and rightfully so.

[81] When I sprung him from the ER, I told him he needed to leave an offering or something to appease them.

[82] Yeah.

[83] He brought flowers to the site and the finger incidents stop.

[84] Coincidence, you tell me. I did not grow up to be superstitious, but I've had several experiences with spirits that keep me believing.

[85] Regardless of you believe in ghosts or not, I always say, what's the harm in admitting you do?

[86] If you claim you don't, they might just try to prove themselves to you.

[87] Norlands is the city of the dead, but the dead aren't so scary if you treat them right.

[88] Living there gave me a new appreciation and understanding of the beings.

[89] that lived before and still exist in some capacity.

[90] Stay sexy and please can I be a French Quarter ghost one day?

[91] Coco.

[92] Coco, first of all, I loved your movie.

[93] That was so good.

[94] Also, after the like second or third injury, you'd be like, this is bad.

[95] Oops.

[96] I've really messed up.

[97] I've upset the spirits.

[98] Ooh, truly, it's like, why didn't a hammer fall from the sky and land on his thumb?

[99] Because it was like every possible most painful finger injury.

[100] I mean, good thing you didn't find a skull, right?

[101] Because any.

[102] For real.

[103] Good point.

[104] Also, like, why aren't those cemetery gates closed if there's bones on the surface?

[105] Like, can there be a three -day hold?

[106] Yeah.

[107] Okay.

[108] The subject line of my first one is, not everyone is a murderer.

[109] Uh -oh.

[110] We know.

[111] We know.

[112] Hello to everyone.

[113] I am a MH counselor at a small Catholic liberal.

[114] arts college.

[115] And at the end of every semester, the women get together for a fun pizza night.

[116] Pizza nights are never fun for anyone unless you're in the youth group as a child and you'd never tried drugs before.

[117] Yes, it's like pizza night has the underpinnings of you're either trying to not do drugs or you're about to learn how to do drugs.

[118] Don't do drugs, everybody.

[119] Okay, so after eating, each person is encouraged to stand up and announce something positive that has happened.

[120] Oh, mental health counselor.

[121] That's what they mean.

[122] I'm a mental health counselor.

[123] I was like, what could that be?

[124] I literally was like high school.

[125] That's the first thing I thought of M .H. And I was like, what high school is that?

[126] And it literally goes on to say liberal arts college.

[127] Right.

[128] So wait, let me read this again because the next line is so funny.

[129] Okay.

[130] After eating each person is encouraged to stand up and announce something positive that has happened.

[131] I dislike it so much.

[132] Typical answers are.

[133] getting tenure, birth announcements, family vacation, and research completion.

[134] When it came to take my turn, I couldn't stop myself.

[135] It was April 25th, 2018.

[136] I stood up and said they caught the Golden State Killer.

[137] Oh, my God.

[138] The DNA matched, and they got him, three exclamation points.

[139] I also think I recommended Michelle McNamara's book.

[140] When I sat down, the entire room went silent for an extended period of time.

[141] Oh, no. Then my coworker got up and said, she really likes murder mystery.

[142] So this is like her Super Bowl.

[143] This did not help.

[144] I still get awkward glances from a few coworkers.

[145] Just remember to stay sexy and not announce serial killer captures at work events, Gretchen Shear.

[146] Oh, my God.

[147] I love it so much.

[148] I wish there was just like one person who had cheered and that became your best friend, you know?

[149] Maybe there was someone then they just didn't.

[150] have the guts.

[151] I mean, maybe you're going to be the trailblazer, but it is important to remember true crime is very specific.

[152] And the people who don't like it are truly horrified by it.

[153] And keep it in the family is what I'm saying.

[154] But my thing is, like, people are super into this game where people get concussions constantly so bad that they have the brains.

[155] Football?

[156] Yes.

[157] And that's okay.

[158] But like us being glad a serial killer got caught is not.

[159] Well, I think it's a good way to tell women what to do, and I think the criticism is all about how dare you go off and do a thing that is for no one but yourself.

[160] Right.

[161] And it is about kind of like caring about a thing that you're basically saying, I'm acknowledging this happens in our culture, and there's certain people who are like, I deny that this happens at all.

[162] Yeah.

[163] Yeah.

[164] So there.

[165] Wow.

[166] I just stumbled upon the great question is answered.

[167] why women like true crime.

[168] When we've even asked for eight years by journalists, and we're like, ugh.

[169] Can someone please write that down?

[170] It just came to me. I needed to think about it for eight years.

[171] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[172] Absolutely.

[173] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[174] Exactly.

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[184] Aw.

[185] I was just listening to Minnesota 278 when Georgia asked for glitch in the matrix type stories.

[186] This happened to me around nine years ago.

[187] Wait, can I just say something really quick?

[188] Uh -huh.

[189] Because of TikTok, I have started seeing Glitch in the Matrix videos, and I now understand what you were trying to explain when we first talked about it.

[190] Because there's one of a southwest plane, and I think it's because they're driving in a car going the other direction.

[191] but it literally looks like the plane is hanging in the air and not moving, and it is so fucking creepy and weird.

[192] Yes.

[193] Glitch in the Matrixy shit.

[194] I love it.

[195] Right.

[196] Which there's a scientific explanation surely somewhere.

[197] But it's very uncanny valley of like, oh, maybe perception isn't reality.

[198] Yes.

[199] And also, we've never seen this before.

[200] And there's been airplanes for a long time and cars for a long time.

[201] So why is this new?

[202] But anyway, sorry.

[203] I just wanted to say that because there's been a couple.

[204] I'm like, that's what it is.

[205] I get it.

[206] Now I get it.

[207] Yeah.

[208] Like Georgia, I was big into the random chat rooms when I was starting out on the internet.

[209] And then it says, anyone remember tagged an IMVU?

[210] Don't remember those.

[211] And it says around 2007, which is past my prime.

[212] I met this guy who we will call Rob.

[213] He was similar age to me and a few towns away, close enough to feel local, but too far for us to meet in person.

[214] We would talk regularly after school for at least a year, maybe even two to three.

[215] As we continued growing up, we eventually lost touch.

[216] I totally had those, like, close friends.

[217] Well, our fucking, our marketing director, Aaron Brown is my friend from Live Journal from like 2001.

[218] So great.

[219] I love that one.

[220] I do too.

[221] Then we became IRL friends, so it's not weird.

[222] Flash forward to 2015 when I was now in my early 20s, my boyfriend at the time invited me to a Christmas party.

[223] His work was having for the entire company.

[224] I met a bunch of his co -workers.

[225] and had a nice time.

[226] Now, flashing forward another couple weeks, my boyfriend and I were hanging out in my room, and he dropped something.

[227] I have a piano that I used as a dresser next to my bed.

[228] Don't ask, we had to slide the piano over to retrieve what he had dropped.

[229] When doing so, something else fell out of the piano.

[230] It was an old ID for one of my boyfriend's co -workers.

[231] Super confused.

[232] We both questioned how that could possibly be there until I read the name closer and realized not only, is it my boyfriend's co -worker, it's my long -lost internet friend, too.

[233] No. If I were her boyfriend, I'd be like, you're having an affair.

[234] That's the first thing I thought of.

[235] I would just be like, so you can go ahead and take this ID and get the fuck out right now.

[236] Exactly.

[237] This is done.

[238] Yeah.

[239] We still have absolutely no idea to this day how Rob's ID, I don't think she'd write this if that was what was really going on.

[240] You know what I mean?

[241] Because it's her house.

[242] So Rob would assume that the key card was.

[243] Oh, yes.

[244] That someone left their ID.

[245] Oh, yeah.

[246] Got it.

[247] But maybe he just, like, brought home the wrong ID once and it somehow got pushed behind.

[248] I don't know.

[249] That's a tough one to write off.

[250] But it doesn't make sense that it's also her internet friend from fucking 10 years ago.

[251] Yeah.

[252] Did she just write in an email and tell on herself that she was having to figure?

[253] Yeah, like, I don't think she would have done that.

[254] I think she would have a great cover story.

[255] Yeah, let's never talk about this again.

[256] We still have absolutely no idea to this day how Rob's ID got there.

[257] As it was older than the years, my ex worked with him.

[258] Holy shit, it was from before the new boyfriend was at the company.

[259] Yeah, and my family has had the piano since around 2009, which has moved around several times in two houses.

[260] So maybe it was his piano before.

[261] Love you guys and please tour Canada again, specifically Okanagan, Star, she, her.

[262] Star, I think that guy was in your house, squatting.

[263] Yeah.

[264] Or what is it called when you're in the walls, frogging?

[265] Piano frogging.

[266] inside a piano they're like a masochist that's also needs an apartment so they're hiding inside a piano that is crazy yeah that we kind of fucked up star's whole story with conjecture and accusation i apologize we do i apologize star i want it to be gossip okay here's my next one and it is bad dog stories i can't get enough of these i think they're so funny okay it just starts Hello, MFM family.

[267] I just heard the minisode about Ferris the dog in which you asked for more anti -hero dog stories.

[268] My childhood dog buster was an 18 -pound dachshund beagle mix with a death wish and a stomach of steel.

[269] You might as well just substitute Frank because this is absolutely a frank story.

[270] He was known to snatch sandwiches and hot dogs out of the hands of small children at birthday parties and barbecues.

[271] Oh my God, Elvis did that once to Matt McCarthy.

[272] He knocked a subway sandwich out of his hands.

[273] A grown man. And then went and took it.

[274] He tried to.

[275] He once knocked his chicken nugget out of someone's hand and walked away with it.

[276] Got to get that food.

[277] They're hustlers.

[278] And my family quickly learned to push our chairs in because he could and would climb up on the dining room table.

[279] Keep in mind, this dog was barely a foot tall.

[280] His love of anything remotely edible nearly killed him on multiple occasions, including a time when we had a house guest who was running an ultra -marathon, boo, and had been.

[281] packed various energy supplements and caffeine goo packets.

[282] What is that ultra marathon?

[283] Isn't a marathon enough?

[284] I think it's like they run for 48 fucking hours or something.

[285] Jesus.

[286] Hold on, wait.

[287] Let's look it up really quick because I'm, I'm just kidding.

[288] Sorry, I booed you.

[289] You can do things no one else can do.

[290] What if it's a marathon, but you're being wheelbarreled the whole time?

[291] So it's ultra.

[292] On your hands, yeah.

[293] It's really hard.

[294] It's so hard.

[295] The catalysts, you have to have a...

[296] You have to wear gloves.

[297] An ultramarathon also called ultra -distance or ultra -running is any foot race longer than the traditional marathon length of 26 miles.

[298] So a 27 -mile is an ultra -marathon.

[299] The most common distances for ultra -running are 50K, 100K, 50 miles, or 100 miles.

[300] Uh -uh.

[301] A hundred miles are also called centurion races.

[302] Holy.

[303] It's also called knee replacements when you're 60.

[304] It's also called you hate everybody around you.

[305] And you're just like, got to go run for four fucking hours to get away from you fools.

[306] Right.

[307] This is the only way that the brain will stop talking to me about how much everyone sucks.

[308] My dad used to run marathons.

[309] My mom and dad did too.

[310] Did they really?

[311] Well, it was so popular in like the late 70s.

[312] It was a true trend.

[313] Yes.

[314] But I was always just like, so you could be hanging out with us.

[315] But you're just like, I'm going to go run for.

[316] for two hours.

[317] Fine.

[318] My parents did it in their 40s, I think, to, like, prove to themselves that they could still do that in their 40s, which I thought was pretty cool.

[319] Are their knees and hips fucked up now?

[320] No, they're fine.

[321] My dad did a couple and my mom, I think, did one.

[322] Yeah.

[323] But they're fine now.

[324] I mean, honestly, when I booed, it's because I'm jealous because there's nothing hotter than you're like, oh, I met my newest boyfriend in a running club.

[325] Right.

[326] But then you have to keep up the facade, the whole fucking, you better.

[327] If you're saying this from our couch, And we're saying this because we're lazy and we're scared that if we say, yay, good job.

[328] You're going to make us do it too.

[329] So we're saying boo.

[330] So you like stay away from us with the idea of marathons.

[331] As if people are fucking inviting us anywhere near a marathon.

[332] I truly, it's like, who cares what we think?

[333] But anyway, here we go.

[334] We're supposed to be talking about this dog.

[335] Oh, yeah.

[336] Okay.

[337] So a time when we had a house guest who was running an ultramarathon.

[338] Yay.

[339] and had packed various energy supplements and caffeine goo packets.

[340] Buster got into his bag and consumed more caffeine goo than anyone ever should.

[341] We were bearing the lead of a great story.

[342] Totally.

[343] Because we need to talk about ourselves.

[344] I need to relate to every single email that's sent to us.

[345] Another time we went on vacation and left him in the care of a neighbor who had a well -behaved dog.

[346] Buster was a bad influence and together they ate a huge box of raisins and they both had to have their stomachs pumped.

[347] My parents footed the vet bill for both dogs.

[348] Oh, my God.

[349] Come on, it'll be fun.

[350] Multiple Christmases in Easter's, where he ate all the candy and chocolate in our Easter baskets and in our stockings.

[351] One Christmas, when we were considering getting a second dog, our hopes were dashed when Buster ate a 16 -ounce bag of chocolate chips and racked up thousands of dollars in vet bills.

[352] Oh, my God.

[353] We knew something was really wrong that time because he hadn't finished the bag.

[354] Thanksgiving, circa 2014.

[355] On the Saturday after Thanksgiving, my mom boiled the bones of the turkey to make soup broth, then disposed of them in the kitchen trash.

[356] That afternoon, we locked Buster in his crate in the kitchen while we went for a walk in the local park.

[357] When we returned, he had somehow escaped from his crate and eaten the entire skeleton of what had been a 17 -pound turkey.

[358] The vet told us over the phone that the only thing that we could do was cross our fingers and hope for the best.

[359] Oh, my God.

[360] Buster spent the night vomiting in the yard and greeted us the next morning with a face that said that he had emerged from the ordeal stronger than before and would happily do it all again.

[361] Despite all his antics, Buster was a sweetheart and I have very fun memories of my childhood with him.

[362] He had a huge fan club in the neighborhood and would always be greeted by a swarm of kids when he walked to school with me and my sister.

[363] Stay sexy and remember that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[364] Julia, she hurt.

[365] Oh, my God, I love that.

[366] Julia, you're a great writer, first of all.

[367] Truly.

[368] Good job.

[369] It's so funny how much, like, it's like, I remember somebody very early on in my dog ownership journey, somebody telling me dogs can't eat grapes.

[370] Right.

[371] And being, like, I would drop a grape in the kitchen as I was eating them, be scared to death.

[372] And, like, at this point, I've had Frank for over 15 years, and I've watched that fucking dog eat.

[373] It's like watching a dog eat a bomb.

[374] And you're like, no, no, no. And they just, like, do it real fast, staring right at you.

[375] And then it's like, well, here we go.

[376] And nothing happens.

[377] That meme of nothing in the world is faster than you yelling what's in your mouth at a dog, than a dog running after you yelling what's in your mouth.

[378] Yeah.

[379] You know?

[380] Yeah.

[381] So true.

[382] He was eating those little red berries.

[383] that are like poisonous berries that are on bushes that bloom around this time.

[384] I went into the backyard.

[385] That can't even taste good.

[386] No, it's like, what are you doing that for?

[387] Okay, my last one's called A Family of Thieves.

[388] It starts, hey, all you cool cats and kittens.

[389] While listening to the episode about Jewel Thief, Doris Payne, her story reminded me of the time I learned I come from a long line of thieves.

[390] I was doing family research on my great uncle, a photographer for the Chicago Sun Times, and someone who I would have loved to meet.

[391] I connected with his son through Facebook and was able to visit him a few years ago.

[392] My cousin's condo is like a museum.

[393] Pick up anything and it could either be worth millions or 50 cents.

[394] In his 83 years, he had done a lot of traveling, collecting, and making good use of eBay.

[395] And then it says, yes, he's a cousin in his 80s.

[396] We're Italian.

[397] I have no idea how many cousins I have or how I'm related to them all.

[398] I was doing very specific research on my family, mainly the mafia connections and how many of my dad's stories were actually true.

[399] My cousin told me that his condo was the hiding place for many of the things his uncles and other members would steal before moving them to the next place.

[400] He said that it happened so much that he was sure there was stuff hidden behind the bathroom wall and in the ceiling that they had forgot about decades.

[401] ago.

[402] Open it up.

[403] Open it.

[404] One thing that was stolen was a very large, very expensive painting.

[405] I asked him how they hid the painting and he said it was put underneath the couch that I was sitting on at that very moment.

[406] His response to my shocked face was this, quote, face it, honey, you come from a family of thieves.

[407] Considering what the mafia is usually known for, I guess being thieves isn't so bad.

[408] Much love, Elle.

[409] Oh, I love that.

[410] I love that.

[411] someone's got to be thieves yeah come on someone's got to be the fucking middleman of fevery i like the idea though of stealing stuff and bringing it to your cousin's house who has a big collection of stuff and sticking it amongst that collection so that you don't get caught right or bringing someone who has nothing to do with the whole thing anyways so it wouldn't be suspected yeah you put up your little diamond on the mantle next to the crystal poodle no i got this in a state sale nothing.

[412] Yeah, no big deal.

[413] Okay.

[414] This says a hometown babysitting kind of story.

[415] Hiya.

[416] I'm from a small town in the middle of the UK and in the 1970s and the early 80s, we had summer play schemes.

[417] No idea what that means.

[418] It sounds scary, actually.

[419] The local high school would put them on.

[420] Oh, I think it's like summer plays, like a series of plays.

[421] Yes.

[422] Perhaps.

[423] The local high school would put them on and kids from No, I think that was wrong.

[424] And kids from the five, six mile surrounding.

[425] We're just going to use our context clues and we're going to build the case as we go and figure this out.

[426] Okay.

[427] It's not a play.

[428] The local high school would put them on and kids from the five, six mile surrounding would all attend.

[429] Usually from the age of around eight or nine up to your mid teens.

[430] What do you think this is?

[431] Like a, I don't know.

[432] Like activities, just like almost like day camp?

[433] Yeah, like a little carnival that you put together maybe.

[434] You know, it's just for people from around the five, six mile.

[435] And it's just a scheme.

[436] Calm now.

[437] Okay.

[438] Continuing on, hopefully more will be revealed.

[439] Now, my friend Lisa's not her real name, Mom, worked at the local youth club and therefore helped out with the play scheme along with some other adults from youth club.

[440] So there's adults there.

[441] It's not just kids by themselves.

[442] All right.

[443] We're adding.

[444] We're adding.

[445] Okay.

[446] This is official, structured, civic, the odd teacher and volunteer parents.

[447] So there were about 12 -ish kids to each adult.

[448] This is day camp, I think.

[449] Yeah, I think so.

[450] We had the run of most of the ground floor at school.

[451] There would be games of cricket and tennis in the grounds and loads of crafts and bouncy castles, trips to big adventure playgrounds, canoeing, swimming, learning about...

[452] Oh, yeah.

[453] It's summer camp.

[454] Yeah, this rules.

[455] Learning about Native American cultures and the occasional visit from the local zoo.

[456] with assorted pythons, tarantulas.

[457] Then one hot summary day, Lisa and I were, at the decrepit age of 12, helping clear up in one of the craft rooms, when her mom asked if we'd, quote, babysit for Susie for an hour or so.

[458] Lisa and I shrogged at each other and agreed.

[459] We all walked down to the staff common room to meet Susie.

[460] We both wanted to appear grown up and responsible, so in our haste, we hadn't asked anything about Susie's age or what she could eat or anything.

[461] And there she was.

[462] In the staff room, happily playing with Jeff, one of the youth club grownups.

[463] Susie was a beautiful five -month -old lioness cub.

[464] Oh, my God.

[465] Oh, every 12 -year -old's dream.

[466] A dream.

[467] Playful and spotty still with massive paws.

[468] The grown -ups all looked at us nervously, but we were already sitting playing with Susie on the floor.

[469] Oh, I just wish I could do that.

[470] I want that.

[471] I want that.

[472] I want that.

[473] So it's okay if we go to the pub for an hour?

[474] Lisa's mom asked.

[475] That's why they wanted to go drink.

[476] Of course, yes, we both trilled for the next hour or so.

[477] We played about with this massive kitten until she curled up and went to sleep between us on the sofa.

[478] Oh.

[479] Purring.

[480] Susie, I found out later, came from Whipsnade Park in the south of the UK.

[481] where she took part in their captive breeding program and helped to restore the native populations in places like Kruger National Park in South Africa.

[482] Since her mom had died and she'd had to be hand -reared, which is how two 12 -year -old girls babysat for a lioness whilst all the adults were in the pub.

[483] And then it says, I loved the 1970s too.

[484] Stay sexy and trust 12 -year -olds with endangered animals.

[485] Love to you both from my small hometown in the wildest East Midlands, Claire X, X, X, X. Claire.

[486] They were all kittens playing together.

[487] Oh, my, but also literally one false move and one of those girls could have lost their eye.

[488] One, like, playful move, overly playful move, like not even malicious, just like, I see my claws?

[489] Yeah, I'm like a cub, so I actually can't control them.

[490] Whoops, I just ribbed half your face off.

[491] Totally.

[492] I mean, oh, my God.

[493] That's amazing.

[494] Good.

[495] It's amazing.

[496] It could never happen again.

[497] Also, East Midlands, there's a bunch of procedurals about that.

[498] So I kind of like to think I know where Claire is from.

[499] Is it moody and brooding?

[500] I think so.

[501] If it's what I remember, either Vera or one of the other procedurals is filmed up there.

[502] And it's basically, yes, it's very Moorish and very countryside, beautiful.

[503] Lots of bogs.

[504] A lot of bogs, a lot of boots, rubber boots.

[505] Wellies?

[506] You mean wellies?

[507] Oh, yes, I absolutely met Wellies.

[508] Send us your stories about the weather.

[509] Whatever.

[510] Have you ever seen a tornado?

[511] Would you please write into this podcast that's supposed to be about true crime and tell us about extreme weather events you've witnessed?

[512] Please.

[513] We appreciate it.

[514] Oh, and also stay sexy.

[515] And don't get murdered.

[516] Good.

[517] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[518] This has been an exactly right production.

[519] senior producer is Alejandra Keck.

[520] Our editor is Aristotle Asavado.

[521] This episode was mixed by Leanna Squalachie.

[522] Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail .com.

[523] And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and on Twitter at MyFave Murder.

[524] Goodbye.

[525] Follow My Favorite Murder on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen so you don't miss an episode.

[526] If you like what you hear, rate and review the show.

[527] Visit exactly right store .com to purchase My Favorite Murder merch.