Colson Baker (aka Machine Gun Kelly)

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dax Shepherd.

[2] I'm joined by Sharon Weekly.

[3] Hello, hello.

[4] This is Sharon Weekly.

[5] Actually, Aaron, I think I told you about this interview.

[6] It's, oh, it's up there for me. It's, oh, we did talk quite a bit about them, actually.

[7] A .K .A. Colson Baker.

[8] From Cleveland, Ohio.

[9] Cleveland, Ohio, Denver, Kuwait, Africa.

[10] This poor kid was never anywhere for more than, 15 minutes until he was in Cleveland.

[11] I really, really adored him.

[12] I'm calling him a kid.

[13] That's fine, right?

[14] You think he's 32.

[15] Well, no, we call almost everyone kids, even, you know, people that are our age.

[16] Or older kids.

[17] We used to call our dad kids.

[18] Yeah.

[19] Grandpa kid.

[20] Machine Gun Kelly is a rapper, a musician, an actor, and a filmmaker.

[21] In addition to mainstream Sella, a new tour that's happening with post -haste.

[22] He also has a movie out called Good Morning, M -O -U -R -N -I -N -G, Aaron.

[23] I get what he's doing there.

[24] Oh, man. Okay, I ended up really loving him, and you and I both could relate.

[25] Yeah, I look forward to the interview because the way you made him sound is he pretty much is us.

[26] Yes, a Vulner Boy.

[27] Yes, a Vulner Boy.

[28] Major Vulner Boy.

[29] Yeah, like he could be maybe even the lead singer of our band.

[30] It would make them most sense because he can sing.

[31] Right.

[32] Yeah, sure.

[33] This is great.

[34] We just had a band long.

[35] enough that finally I interviewed someone that could actually do all to stop.

[36] We just have a name.

[37] Once again, we've just named something.

[38] Yeah, next interview with him, we'll bring it up.

[39] Yeah, we'll share one of our new songs.

[40] Okay, please enjoy Machine Gun Kelly.

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[44] He's an armchair He's an altruid's good I downloaded the guitar tuner Yeah, it was terrible Do you have one the on here?

[45] You know what's good is guitar tuna?

[46] Tuna Oh, I like that Mm -hmm This is a first But not had a guest I appreciate it You can listen, you can tune a guitar But you can't tune a fish Oh my god You know that already That's really funny.

[47] You've never heard that?

[48] No, what I'm taking that.

[49] Yes, you can tune a guitar, but you can't tune it.

[50] That's golden.

[51] That's probably why it's called guitar tuna.

[52] It's an old proverb.

[53] Yeah, I think it must be a nod to that joke.

[54] Ah, guitar tuner.

[55] I've never heard it either.

[56] Look, you just let that sit there and if the spirit moves you, you just grab that.

[57] Fucking let it rip.

[58] Walk me through your thoughts right now.

[59] I see you taking in your environment.

[60] Also, get comfortable.

[61] Yeah.

[62] Oh, in fact, do I have to move the couch out?

[63] I might have to.

[64] Lean back.

[65] I want to see if your head will hit.

[66] Oh, that's right on the limit.

[67] My thoughts are I was having nervous breakdowns like an intense way to describe it.

[68] I was late because I was just like debating if I was going to be like fuck the world today.

[69] Oh.

[70] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[71] I'm familiar with that.

[72] This is a great way to start because stacks can relate.

[73] Oh, my God, yeah.

[74] Do you know anything about me?

[75] I'm being sincere.

[76] I loved you as Frito and idiotic.

[77] Oh, okay, thank you.

[78] Do you know I'm a raging name?

[79] addict.

[80] Do you know any of that stuff?

[81] Oh, no, I don't know that.

[82] Okay, so major fucking addict.

[83] I haven't drank or done coke in 17 and a half years.

[84] I relapsed during the quarantine on opiates, went bonkers.

[85] Yeah, those are good.

[86] Yeah.

[87] Which ones?

[88] Percocets?

[89] Oxi 30s.

[90] I had to stop at four so I could sleep.

[91] So I would do like 8 to 10 between 9 a .m. and 4 p .m. Did you ingest them or snort them?

[92] So here's the interesting thing.

[93] I did both.

[94] I did not find snorting them to be more impactful than eating them.

[95] That made sense when people did oxy cotton because it was time release it would make sense to snort it but they're not time release i don't notice a big difference with that but when i would snort adderall how the fuck did you know i was gonna say that because i'm a fucking junkie look at me i know everything great that's literally where i was leading to i was like but when i would snort adorall or vivans holy shit that hit way different than just taking it like college students thousand percent yeah the same with cocaine like stevie ravean he never snorted cocaine he always put it in his whiskey And he just drank cocaine.

[96] I've drank it before.

[97] Oh, you have?

[98] Yeah.

[99] I didn't know that Stevie Ray Vaughnda does.

[100] It ate his stomach out.

[101] What the fuck?

[102] Yeah, yeah.

[103] He got a hole in his stomach as you would damage your sinuses.

[104] Well, it's interesting because, you know, Steveo has a fucking hole in his septum.

[105] I know Steve -o.

[106] Are you friends with Steve?

[107] Yeah, yeah, definitely.

[108] Okay.

[109] He's wonderful, right?

[110] Yeah.

[111] That voice.

[112] Hey, man. That's exactly it.

[113] That's a good impersonation.

[114] Do you know how all them work as far as, like, the, intake rate and all that kind of stuff i should probably know okay so when you eat things that's going to be the slowest right it's going to absorb through your stomach lining okay and then that's going to take whatever it's going to take whatever eight to 20 30 minutes to start feeling something nose is the second fastest right because it's going directly into your bloodstream through your sinuses then of course upgrade from there is smoking it because your lungs are this huge surface area so if all that hit your lungs what was right before lungs snorting okay so in progression like if you track meth addicts there's like these different predictive rates of their likelihood of being able to quit speed right if you eat adderol that's some level and people would eat dexedrine all those things if you snort it it goes up right like it's going to be harder to quit when you switch to smoking it and that really hits you fast that's why crack so much better than snorting cocaine because it's going into your lungs and all those things are putting into your blood really really quickly right almost instantaneously.

[115] And then the apex is shooting it because now it's directly in your blood.

[116] And then when people are shooting meth, the rate of recovery is like single digit.

[117] You know, like once you've escalated to shooting, it's fucking daunting.

[118] That's just some little tidbits.

[119] I feel weird.

[120] Not weird, but like, I hope no one listens and is like, okay, so I'm just going to skip straight to...

[121] I don't think so.

[122] Well, hey, I wouldn't want that for anybody.

[123] But also, this is the facts of how drugs work.

[124] Yeah.

[125] Yeah, it's good to hear.

[126] And also, I'm not glorifying it.

[127] Look, I had to quit everything clearly, and I go to AA meetings all the time.

[128] And so I'm not a proponent of doing it.

[129] But I will also add, people have barriers.

[130] They're very interesting, like, how you control an addiction.

[131] It's like you have berries.

[132] I won't do this.

[133] I won't do that.

[134] Generally, they all rode.

[135] But I would say if you snort crystal meth, like, don't step up to smoking.

[136] This is for real.

[137] Like, unless you want to be a hardcore addict that's never going to get clean, as much as you might want to step up to smoking, don't smoke it.

[138] And if you smoke it, Do not fucking shoot it because if you shoot it, you're probably never going to get off of it.

[139] But when you're in the middle of your addiction, you don't care.

[140] You do.

[141] Like, people do have barriers.

[142] You'd agree, right?

[143] Yeah, for sure.

[144] Yeah.

[145] You still have a conscience.

[146] It's almost like sometimes you get heightened self -awareness in the middle of it.

[147] It's odd how self -aware you become when you're in a nebulous of a high.

[148] It is, right?

[149] Holy shit.

[150] You have one of those lamps, by the way.

[151] Oh, do you like these?

[152] The little library lamps?

[153] I was just talking about in movies.

[154] I was like every set designer has to use that.

[155] That's right.

[156] From seven.

[157] We love it from seven.

[158] Did you know that's why I have this?

[159] I'm sure we've talked about it.

[160] From seven with Brad Pitt?

[161] Yeah.

[162] He's in the library or Morgan Freeman's in the library.

[163] And all the desks have these.

[164] Very sexy scene.

[165] Incredibly sexy.

[166] And I was like, I have to have one of those from that movie.

[167] And you're right.

[168] That's a really popular practical lighting to you.

[169] Yeah.

[170] My dad used to have one of those in our house.

[171] Oh, he did.

[172] Anyway, back to Crystal Mess.

[173] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[174] We hop all around.

[175] I agree with you.

[176] You can be fucked up and you're evaluating.

[177] Like, how far down the road am I right now?

[178] It's not like you're just feeling great and you're high.

[179] Do you think you're really able to know?

[180] What I'm trying to point out is like, you might imagine once you get high in Coke, you're like, I don't give off fuck, fuck the world.

[181] What you're doing the whole time is like, okay, it's 2 a .m., we're shutting us down at 3.

[182] And then 3 comes, and you're like, okay, we're shutting it down at 4.

[183] And then we're shutting it down at 5.

[184] You're never just like throwing the keys out the window.

[185] you actually are trying to in some weird way, and then it's just unraveling, but you are aware of it.

[186] Does that make sense?

[187] It doesn't.

[188] I think I would agree.

[189] Like, I get that.

[190] But I guess my point is when you're in it, the priority becomes, I need to maintain this feeling.

[191] Yeah, I'll go even further.

[192] Not having this feeling is going to be so painful.

[193] Exactly.

[194] What do you think?

[195] On the calm down, you start to be like, okay, I can't live like this.

[196] I have to make a change.

[197] It's actually fucked because you start to have hope for yourself while you're on the drug as you're coming down off of it.

[198] And you're like, you know what, dude, tomorrow, this is my last time.

[199] Like, I have to.

[200] And then you start to kind of realize, oh, I'm running away this person or this person.

[201] And I can't afford to lose my family over this.

[202] And my attitude is worsened.

[203] And, you know, my career is taking a hit because of this and all this shit.

[204] You get kind of honest with yourself on that.

[205] Calm down, right?

[206] It's just about can you maintain that honesty?

[207] Because as soon as you wake up and you get back around it, you're like, like oh okay fuck it i do think because i've seen a million people get sober try to get sober whatever over the last two decades let's say you have one of those nights you wake up you fucking hate yourself i'm a piece of shit this is never going to end but you happen to have a career and i have a career where it's like i can go then do something where i can still do that thing really well people enjoyed it and everyone's pumped and then it resets my self -esteem where i'm like well i'm not that fuck because i can still do that and those people are happy well what's fucked is when you do it even better when you're on the shit.

[208] That's what suck because I'm like super social and I'm super funny and I'm way more outgoing and then you're like, God damn it, like I was better on that.

[209] Yes.

[210] The film that I came to talk about and I wrote and directed, I wonder if I wouldn't have been sober off of cocaine what that movie would have been.

[211] There are some scenes that I look at and I'm like, God damn, while this is so funny and so expressive and so opposite of what my image as a musician is to people.

[212] If I had justed one bump before the scene, though, I would have been fucking Jim goddamn Carrie in this scene.

[213] Like, oh, you have those thoughts.

[214] Sometimes.

[215] I also know we wouldn't have got past week one, because I would have just been fucking flipping out on everybody and been like, this is I fucking good enough.

[216] No, you would have been brilliant for 18 hours.

[217] 100%.

[218] And then it would have just been diminishing.

[219] I want to put your mind at ease.

[220] So generally, you probably haven't heard this show, but we talk for a while, just fun, and we bond over shit.

[221] And people fall in love with you.

[222] and then we do give some serious time to what you're here to promote well i think that's the issue with me is that people have the biggest misconception of me ever so i actually gravitate much more towards that than promoting something oh yeah yeah a lot of people don't realize there's a human behind the character that i've yeah i'm also guilty of putting out there and the ethos because the name that everyone knows from me is machine gun kelly people don't even know that i actually have a real name or real feelings or invulnerable see i can see that immediately.

[223] Can I just walk you through my knowledge of you?

[224] First of all, I'm 110 years old, just to remind you.

[225] Remember that proverb he said earlier?

[226] That was from the 18th century.

[227] The tune of guitar.

[228] Yeah, that was a good 30s joke.

[229] So I'm pretty out of touch.

[230] Now, I have two little girls, seven and nine.

[231] You have what, 12?

[232] 12.

[233] Okay.

[234] So I'm kind of hip to whatever shit they're listening to, but also a lot of stuff.

[235] I just, I'm out to lunch now.

[236] And so I know machine on Kelly.

[237] And then as I'm researching you, in two seconds of learning about you, I'm like, like he's a vulnerable boy i know your fucking story i see the whole nine i feel so similar to it you're from cleveland i'm from detroit there was a masculine vibe in these places totally that was fucking terrifying at times for sure and you're way too tall and i was way too tall and i immediately was just like oh i already know i like this kid and i can relate so much to the persona i was super punk rock.

[238] I was punk rock because I wasn't going to be on the football team.

[239] It wasn't going to work for me. I didn't have Jordans.

[240] I didn't have Zika Vichis.

[241] I didn't have the shit.

[242] So I was like, all right, well, I'm checking out of that.

[243] Just so you guys know, I'm not competing in that way, because I know I can't succeed in that way.

[244] So I'm punk.

[245] I tried, you know, and I just didn't fit.

[246] I always compare it to when I was in middle school, when I look at the year before I started rapping, there's no signatures in the yearbook.

[247] And then I put on this persona and I was like really bold, because I wasn't, I was shy.

[248] I didn't have parental figures.

[249] My parental figures were on TV.

[250] So I was always like, oh, my God, Dragon Ball Z. Like, I want to be a Super Sand.

[251] Then it was like, I want to be a Jedi.

[252] And then I saw Top Gun.

[253] I was like, I want to be Iceman.

[254] I want to be Maverick.

[255] I'm going to be a pilot.

[256] Yeah, and then I did X -City at 11.

[257] And I was like, nope, fuck that.

[258] Because a friend of mine who was living with his sister, who was older, was dating like a rave deed.

[259] This is like full -on 90s rave shit.

[260] Yeah, what is?

[261] This is the warehouse district.

[262] And this is in Denver, not in Cleveland.

[263] Oh, okay.

[264] But the warehouse district.

[265] as Cuyahoga River.

[266] Yeah, that's where I have a coffee shop at, actually.

[267] Oh, right, right, right.

[268] When I saw how it was no signatures, and then I saw that, when I put on my, like, superhero mask as a rapper, people were like, oh, shit, I like you.

[269] For me, it was a trick, because what it told everyone around me is like, this guy's so confident.

[270] Again, this is 91.

[271] No one would have bleached blonde dreadlocks, and it read is ultra -confident, but it was smoking mirrors.

[272] Yeah, but it fucked me because, you know, still to this day, I deal with hundreds of thousands.

[273] I'm in due to feels like millions of people who just are like he is so confident and all these things that like I feel okay shitting on him.

[274] Yeah, they feel like they're punching up on you.

[275] Yes.

[276] I feel okay saying this shit about him.

[277] And I'm like, you know what, dude?

[278] Yeah.

[279] Have I been a dick in media?

[280] Sure.

[281] Have I represented myself poorly sometimes?

[282] Yeah, absolutely.

[283] Is the camera on you when you were growing up?

[284] Because if it was, I'm sure we would all have fucking little excerpts to talk about.

[285] And it's like, that's not you though.

[286] I understand.

[287] You're a lost young.

[288] young man or woman and you're like figuring shit out and you talk your shit as does anybody but like for people to miss that whole shit on me as if I'm not like the same like growing human being where I have feelings and I'm sensitive and I'm like you know what 10 years later as a man though as a father of a teenager and a husband this isn't me and also too I'm 31 years old I know plenty of 31 year olds who are still full pieces of shit and like are still figuring themselves out.

[289] So like, I'm kind of ahead of the game from a lot of people who are just putting on this facade of like, well, in public, because of all these people that have fucked up, I know to not do that.

[290] But in private, there's still pieces of shit.

[291] In private, I'm actually a great human being and full of like vulnerability and like just learning myself and the fact that people kind of are like, oh yeah, but he's machine gone Kelly, dude.

[292] I've called some of these people, but I've literally been like this person in this band or this person who's a YouTube review or this person who felt like putting videos out being like, this is why MGK sucks or like is disgusting.

[293] And I've called them and been like, hey, man, why are you running a smear campaign on somebody who's just making music?

[294] Just a person.

[295] Like it's weird.

[296] You would think that I was in politics and I was like being like, no abortion, like some crazy shit.

[297] This is the saddest part.

[298] I said this to a guy.

[299] I said, hi, this is Machine Gun Kelly.

[300] I see what you say, and he goes.

[301] Did you say Machine Gun Kelly or did you say this is Colson?

[302] But he doesn't know who.

[303] They don't know that I'm a person.

[304] He literally verbatim goes, oh, bro, like, I didn't know you'd actually ever see this.

[305] He compared me to Target.

[306] Okay.

[307] Well, first of all, I love Target.

[308] Yeah, Target was great.

[309] My aunt used to work in talk about.

[310] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[311] We love it.

[312] We truly do.

[313] He compared me to Target in the sense that he's like, oh, you're so big that I wouldn't think that.

[314] Oh, okay.

[315] Target would respond.

[316] Like Target would ever give a shit about one customer saying that Target sucks.

[317] Yes, yes, yes.

[318] Well, okay, can I tell you something I heard recently in a meeting?

[319] I did the things they say I did I'm not who they say I am I think that would sum up what you're saying Absolutely exactly what it is Yeah, it's nice, right?

[320] Crazy childhood Or at least on paper it is Yeah, it's pretty wild Your parents were missionaries One of them was, yeah Your father And you guys went all over the world Yeah, he would be in and I I kind of learned a lot of this stuff After his death Oh, he died?

[321] Yes When did he die?

[322] Can I ask?

[323] Two years ago Okay And I learned a lot of lot of this stuff after.

[324] I knew that he was really traumatized from something that I haven't really even acknowledged to myself what it was, but I learned what happened as a kid.

[325] And it's actually not what anyone would think.

[326] It's the most unique, odd kid story I've ever heard because it's not like, oh, someone touched him.

[327] It's nothing like what you would, it's probably the most insane.

[328] Perpetrated by his parents?

[329] No. Oh, okay.

[330] His father died in front of him.

[331] Okay.

[332] But I haven't stopped to ever acknowledge what he went through.

[333] He didn't talk about it until he was on his deathbed.

[334] And he was like, this is what that was.

[335] Yeah.

[336] And I was mind -blown, and it made me understand so much of who and why he was dealing with what he was.

[337] Because I couldn't understand.

[338] He slept for a lot of years when my mom had left to do her life.

[339] Major depression, yeah?

[340] For sure.

[341] And alcohol.

[342] I mean, he died of liver cirrhosis.

[343] And he probably wasn't that old.

[344] No. Yeah.

[345] It was escapism, which is classic with me as well.

[346] So it was just like, okay, I can't keep this job.

[347] So like, go to God.

[348] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[349] Go to missionary.

[350] Oh, no, then, okay, get a job, but then can keep just, okay, go to God.

[351] Yeah.

[352] So there would be moments, like I remember in high school, like he went to Kuwait for a year.

[353] I was a freshman, and I stayed with a friend of mine down the street.

[354] In Cleveland.

[355] Right before I moved to Cleveland.

[356] So I moved to Cleveland at the end of freshman year.

[357] Okay.

[358] nine to 13, 14, something I was in Denver.

[359] Did you see me smirk just now?

[360] Yeah, why?

[361] Because I got excited, but I want you to know why I smirked.

[362] Yeah, yeah.

[363] Because if you asked me like where I grew up, I'll tell you, I grew up in my mind in this area of my life that was really only three years long.

[364] Same.

[365] So when you said that I got little goosebumps because I had crazy trauma up until we moved to this one town Milford and I started sixth grade there, all the stepdad's were gone, fucking sexual abuse.

[366] was gone all this shit was gone and i got there and i met my best friend who i'm still best friends with i became popular i was punk i skated this whole thing and so it was only three years but that's my home when you just said cleveland i was like oh yeah that's the same thing i bet that was my segment where i was like this is who i am and you just caught my smirk which no one would have caught your spidey senses are fucking 12 because of your fucking childhood and i would have caught if your eye moved this much while i was talking i'm like what's up did i lose him now he's out to get what's what happened right that was awesome yeah yeah that's funny i caught the smirk and i wonder why the smirk yep yep yep i just wanted you to know yeah i moved around a bunch when i was a kid so like it was like africa for the first six years of my life then chicago for a couple months then blank blank blank blank then denver and then yeah when i went to cleveland i was kind of where i was like all right you know what i'm going to get a job and i worked as a shopping cart boy at a grocery store and started taking care of myself that was kind of where i was kind of where i was I was like, all right, this is growing up.

[367] Now I'm deciding what my life is.

[368] For sure.

[369] I was when I was like, I'm taking music seriously.

[370] And by that time, I had been arrested and kind of knew what came with that.

[371] And then friends of mine were getting arrested.

[372] One had gone away for four years.

[373] And you're like, fuck, dude, we're still like 15.

[374] Yeah, we're children.

[375] Yeah, that's such a big percentage of your life.

[376] Totally.

[377] And you, like, learn that world.

[378] And you're like, okay, well, maybe that's not for me. But dad went to Kuwait for a year.

[379] That's where I interrupted you.

[380] The Kuwait thing was interesting because, Because that's what I was saying.

[381] It would be like little points of time where it would just be like, you know, I'm going here.

[382] And I'm like, I'm not moving again because I spent my whole childhood moving and I like these friends.

[383] So I'm not doing it.

[384] Like, that's wrong for you to do that to me. Because I already sucked at being myself.

[385] I was already like, dude, I've been a loser in five towns.

[386] Like if I'm hitting in this town, you got to let me like get, you got to let me have some type of friend.

[387] You know what I mean?

[388] These other towns were not fucking with me. I finally did it.

[389] Leave me alone.

[390] I finally got three, dude.

[391] So he went there.

[392] and then that was during the war after september 11th so then i failed in school and word got to him obviously like yo like he hasn't shown up for 36 days or some shit yeah and so he's like oh well like get your ass out to kuwait and so then i moved to kuwait i've been there it was just weird in that time dude because i would be walking on the street and i would be a fucking car with an osama bin laden flag with his face on the side of the car, run through, and there would be people on top of it, like, screaming.

[393] He must have felt really safe.

[394] Yeah, exactly.

[395] Exactly.

[396] And it was gnarly, and I actually had got into an altercation there.

[397] Really quick.

[398] What year was this?

[399] Oh, four, I guess.

[400] Okay.

[401] Yeah, this is the end of freshman year.

[402] Every freshman's dream.

[403] Yeah, exactly.

[404] Get over to Kuwait.

[405] It was with the wrong people that I got into it with, and essentially, we had been asked to leave.

[406] The country.

[407] Yeah.

[408] Because you got into some funny business.

[409] Standing up for somebody, actually.

[410] In Kuwait, there's Kuwaitis, and then there's Indians, and Indians are the minorities in Kuwait.

[411] And a friend of mine was Indian.

[412] There had just been an altercation at the school.

[413] I went to an American school.

[414] It was like a melting pot of expati people, yeah.

[415] Including people that lived there, and like all the Kuwaitis, like a lot of them wanted to go to that school.

[416] I think it was just a good school.

[417] I don't know.

[418] And I didn't go to this school much either, but, you know.

[419] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[420] You do what you could.

[421] I was defending a friend, and I guess I was defending a friend against the wrong.

[422] Like someone who had some juice, you know, some royalty type of sitch.

[423] And we had been, like, excused from there.

[424] And so then when we got back, that was obviously a blow because my dad was like, I had a job.

[425] Why would you fuck this up?

[426] Your dad's behavior to me sounds really familiar in that, like, a ton of addicts do this geographical cure thing.

[427] Like, I won't be this way there.

[428] Ah.

[429] If I go to Alaska, I'm not going to shoot dope there.

[430] I'm going to be the person I want to be.

[431] God, that's so funny.

[432] I still do that.

[433] Yes.

[434] I literally tell it to make it all the time.

[435] I'm like, if we go to Montana.

[436] Yes.

[437] The environment is the problem.

[438] You will see this behavior, Jeff.

[439] It even has a term now.

[440] We've interviewed some psychiatrists.

[441] It's called a geographic.

[442] Like, oh, that's a geographic.

[443] So people will do, they'll do people.

[444] Right.

[445] Like, oh, if I had this relationship, I'll live up to that.

[446] If I go on that island.

[447] We just interviewed Josh Brolin.

[448] And he's sober, and he and I both do it.

[449] He's sitting in Venice.

[450] He's like, I need to be on a ranch.

[451] He gets up to the ranch.

[452] He's like, I need some fucking rhythm.

[453] I got to get back to the city.

[454] It just never ends.

[455] It's like, oh, there'll be a place I'll feel the way I want to feel.

[456] A geographic.

[457] For sure.

[458] So, yeah, it sounds like your dad maybe suffered from some.

[459] When he had passed, I went into our storage unit from when I was a kid.

[460] Found a bunch of like, what's the right word, psychiatric or like, like evaluation or something, psych evils.

[461] Stuff like that.

[462] He was struggling.

[463] yeah for sure and mom she left when you were nine it's cool because she's coming to visit me in a month oh that's great yeah we have our relationship that happened after my dad had passed and i was like i'm sick of not having answers and my cousin who i grew up with he was schizophrenic and he had lived with us until he couldn't control that side and then he had to you know go to one of those places so again i was just always kind of like left out of the loop of what was happening in front of me. And so my mom very educated.

[464] She's a scientist.

[465] I think if I was her too, I'd be like, I need a life.

[466] Like, I'm not a geographic.

[467] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[468] I can't sink with your ship.

[469] For sure.

[470] Yeah.

[471] For sure.

[472] So I used to say left, but now I'm just like, I think she just wanted to save herself.

[473] Yeah.

[474] That's very generous, by the way.

[475] She wasn't in your life until recently.

[476] Again, things that I had learned later, like, oh, I had reached out a million times.

[477] Oh, I came there and was kicked off the property.

[478] I portrayed it differently in the early years of my career because I was angry.

[479] Of course.

[480] I didn't know shit.

[481] I didn't know the facts.

[482] I didn't know anything.

[483] You felt abandoned.

[484] For sure.

[485] And it's like, you know what?

[486] No, you went to save yourself and now you can come into my life at a much better time.

[487] Because, you know, who was there for me was my aunt, who was my dad's sister.

[488] And that's who I lived with a lot of the years.

[489] And I wasn't there for her because I wasn't addict.

[490] And I was so obsessed with the fast life and she died and I rushed her off the phone before she died.

[491] She was there for me in every way possible and I was so selfish.

[492] I wasn't even able to appreciate what she was giving me. So the fact that now I like a day where I can just have a conversation and like, you know, my mom is there to have that with me. It's really nice turnaround from what I was used to.

[493] And it's probably better and worked out that way because it feels really nice to speak to someone where I'm like, holy shit.

[494] You guys are probably similar to super similar to me. And everyone says, like, we look exactly the same.

[495] Is she 6 '4?

[496] She is not 6 '4.

[497] So that's the only gene that she doesn't have.

[498] I'm going to guess too.

[499] This is a wild guess.

[500] But your dad, who was struggling a ton, I'm sure in his mind, if he didn't have you, he was going to be dead in a couple months.

[501] Oh, for sure.

[502] So I bet his hold on you was like part of his own, I'm going to die, basically.

[503] If this good thing leaves my life, I'll be unaccountable to every.

[504] And I'm dead.

[505] Totally.

[506] Oh, man. It's wild.

[507] But you know what's fucking great, though, is like through all that, that cauldron, you have this fucking beautiful, explosive, artistic, creative, wonderful side.

[508] And then trying to learn that's your sword.

[509] And so the downside is, yeah, you might disappear for a few days.

[510] And the upside is you might really see another person that's been through what you've been through and hold out your hand.

[511] And they can see it in you and feel it in you.

[512] And you can get people, hope.

[513] So it's like this crazy weapon you have and learning how to keep that other side dull and the other one sharp.

[514] It's a fucking journey, you know, you seem disappointed in yourself a little bit.

[515] No, I was just having the urge.

[516] I was like, I need to smoke a cigarette.

[517] Oh, you can.

[518] Yeah, you can.

[519] Yeah, you thousand percent can.

[520] Oh, let me open a window.

[521] Well, no, you know, what's funny is, like, I was realizing I had did this at dinner the other day and like other people there were like sober, trying to get.

[522] And I was just like, no, you're fine.

[523] I'm going to do this with you.

[524] I'm going to dip while you smoke.

[525] It's going to be great.

[526] Let me get you a little ashtray.

[527] He'll take any excuse to dip, so you gave him a gift.

[528] Dude, the first time I dipped, my friends told me to swallow it.

[529] What nice friends.

[530] And I just barfed until I couldn't.

[531] It was the worst.

[532] It's gnarly because it's fiberglass and it cuts into your bloodstream and it's really, thank you.

[533] How crazy is it that idiocracy was right?

[534] Oh my god, that was a documentary It literally is where we're all at It's kind of crazy Because I rewashed it the other day It's a trip And that's also Dax peeing in the background Yeah, that happens quite often Okay, great Feel free to take a time By the way, you can also smoke pot in here You can do whatever you want I prefer you didn't shoot anything But short of that you can do whatever you want Yeah, that shit's a trip dude I was watching it and I was like It was a joke but came to life My kind of funny story about that is my mom saw it.

[535] I did it like a month after I got home from shooting without a paddle.

[536] That movie is so funny.

[537] Well, you are the prime age for that movie.

[538] Oh, dude, that was my shit.

[539] When that came out, that was my shit.

[540] So my mom saw that and she was excited.

[541] She's like, oh, wow, you're really doing this.

[542] Then she saw idiocracy and she goes, well, not my favorite thing you've done.

[543] And I'm like, understandable.

[544] And then she called me like two months later and she goes, I just left Walmart.

[545] And I think that movie might be brilliant that you're at.

[546] She did a 180.

[547] It is.

[548] It takes a second.

[549] It does, it does.

[550] You got to come to it.

[551] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[552] We've all been there.

[553] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[554] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing.

[555] But for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the cause.

[556] clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[557] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[558] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Bollin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[559] It's called Mr. Bollin's Medical Mysteries.

[560] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[561] Follow Mr. Bollin's medical mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[562] Prime members can listen early and add free on Amazon music.

[563] What's up guys?

[564] It's your girl Kiki and my podcast is back with a new season and let me tell you it's too good and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest.

[565] Every episode I bring on a friend and have a real conversation and I don't mean just friends.

[566] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[567] So follow, watch and listen to Baby.

[568] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app.

[569] wherever you get your podcast.

[570] Oh, my God.

[571] This was so juicy.

[572] Where were we at before I had to pee?

[573] Oh, about your aunt and stuff.

[574] Oh, she was great.

[575] She worked at Target.

[576] Any album I had or any magazine I was on, she had it at the front of her register.

[577] That is so sweet.

[578] If anybody looked like they were going to buy a music CD or if they came with a CD.

[579] I was back when I was able to see, like, all the messages people were saying they'd be like, dude, does you're all work at Target?

[580] Because I was buying this like Notorious B -I -G CD and she like shoved your CD in the pile was like, you need to get my nephew, C .D. It was great.

[581] It was actually across from, have you been to Denver?

[582] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[583] Okay, so have you been to Shotgun Willys?

[584] No. It's like the strip club of strip clubs.

[585] Okay.

[586] Whenever I ask them if they'd been to Denver, that's like for some reason, the food's great there.

[587] They also have like a weed dispensary attached to it.

[588] Oh, my God.

[589] It's just like a one -stop shot, but it's in the parking lot of Super Target.

[590] Oh.

[591] All the dancers, they all knew my aunt.

[592] Oh, my God.

[593] That's amazing.

[594] I grew up walking past that, because my aunt worked a target for years.

[595] She would get my friend's job there, whatever, and if we didn't have money for the bus, which is hilarious because it's like 65 cents for a one way.

[596] But if we didn't have a couple quarters laying around, we would just walk everywhere.

[597] And that was back when, like, walking everywhere, it was fun anyway.

[598] Oh, it's the most fun.

[599] Kids, and we didn't have phones.

[600] You would just talk the whole time, and you skate.

[601] We are big skaters.

[602] And I don't know what it was like for other kids, but when you're like 10, 11, 12, you see like gentlemen's club or something.

[603] You're just like, what is that place?

[604] Yeah.

[605] It's like finding Playboys in the woods or something.

[606] It's so funny, because I would just drive by there without thinking anything.

[607] But, like, as a kid, you're like, what is the mystery of a gentleman's club?

[608] What happens in there?

[609] But, yeah, so when I got a record, all this stuff, I was like, I want to surprise my aunt, and I, like, finally want to show her that.

[610] Her nephew made it, and I pulled my tour bus up to Target.

[611] We picked her up and all this stuff.

[612] And then after the show, went to Shotgun Willys, and we were like, yes.

[613] And the fucking funniest part was no one gave a shit that.

[614] I had an album out or anything.

[615] They all just go, dude, your aunt, man, you're on, man. You're on, you're on, I love on Barber, I love her.

[616] She was kind of like a local celebrity.

[617] It was really cool because she was so passionate about Machine Gun Kelly.

[618] It was really cool.

[619] So I don't like strip clubs, not on anything moral, but I don't want to be a customer.

[620] I want approval.

[621] Like, I'm an approval junkie.

[622] If I see a woman that I think is like high status or wouldn't like me and I can get her to like me, that to me is the apex high of my life.

[623] I think as a musician is kind of just part of the culture.

[624] There's some where it's like, yes, we've got to go and throw all this money and all that.

[625] But sometimes you just want to go and ask the DJ to play your music and be like, doesn't make people vibe.

[626] Is it good to dance to?

[627] Is it fun?

[628] Do people enjoy the environment when this song is playing?

[629] Yeah.

[630] But are you an approval junkie like me?

[631] Yes, but music approval.

[632] Megan sent me this really sweet jiff yesterday as of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.

[633] And it says, maybe you don't need the whole world to love you you know maybe you just need one person and i really just stopped looking for approval for my personal self outside of my friends and her and my daughter that i was kind of like you know what i'm actually good with this but as machine gun Kelly oh my god i'm like how the fuck are we not nominated for grammy there's this magazine and i won't say their name but on my goal list every year i was like cover of this magazine cover of this magazine and never got it and i go back to a quote that puff had told me years ago and it reminded me of it and i took it off my goal list for good i don't give a fuck anymore he goes when you stop giving a fuck about getting the cover to blank you will get the cover to blank home and gardening Home and gardening is the magazine.

[634] Home and gardening.

[635] Oh, one day.

[636] You know what?

[637] I put all this emphasis on getting this number one album, like a second number one album with mainstream sellout, which was the album I put out a month ago.

[638] And I was like, because people were so thrown off that I made a guitar -driven album, which is so shocking to me because of my very first album, there was literally a metal band featured on the first song.

[639] So there's been gingerbread crumbs leading the whole time to this.

[640] Again, I was so, like, shocked by, people surprised like oh well he got lucky with that number one i was like well i have to show them that you know two times isn't luck so like i have to get i have to get dude the fucking day i got it and they called me said congrats you did it again you got a number one album i was so lonely and empty you know what i do give a shit about is the fans that made it go number one it's cool as shit it's like a voter if you vote enough that your candidate wins yeah like dude every target was sold out of the physical album.

[641] People don't even have CD players anymore.

[642] They were just buying it to be like, yo, we're getting this fucking number one because they feel the same thing.

[643] I'm one of them.

[644] And so they're like, we're going to make this happen.

[645] And they made it happen.

[646] It was almost like this one was for them.

[647] Do you think it's possible that in your mind the whole buildup of I got to get another number one?

[648] And in your mind, that's your goal.

[649] And also in your mind, I'm going to feel a certain way when that happens.

[650] That was why I brought that up.

[651] It was me being like, I'll finally feel approved and I'll finally feel like whole whole and it's like dude that went number one and then you know what it turned into instead of the last this album narrative it was like he switched genres and that's why and then this one it's like popularity contest versus talent and then I realized you just will always find something and all that matters is the people who don't care about what other people are saying are like I like this artist that's who I gave my attention to and that's who's approval I care about is people who are actually fans of it and if they are happy then I am happy.

[652] Yeah, and hopefully we can accept that whatever thing we've triggered in somebody is really their thing.

[653] You know, you know these people.

[654] Yeah, it's about them.

[655] When people rag on other people, it tells me nothing about the other people.

[656] It tells me everything about them.

[657] Oh, you must have a fear of X, Y, and Z. Oh, you must be threatened by X, Wain Z. You must feel less than in this way.

[658] I relate.

[659] I feel less than all the time.

[660] I feel emasculated all the time.

[661] I feel all these feelings.

[662] And certain people bring that up in me and other people don't, but you're almost inanimate.

[663] You know, you're just a thing that's in the world and people are reacting to it.

[664] And it has nothing to do with anyone.

[665] Well, that's nice to hold on, too, because I agree.

[666] I'm just a vessel for their own frustrations.

[667] Or, conversely, all the people that would involve the album who adore you and love you.

[668] You're a vessel for their joy, too.

[669] Cool.

[670] Very cool.

[671] Probably the worst for you or I would be there's no reaction period to us.

[672] That would be the scariest.

[673] I'm still invisible.

[674] No one sees me. That is the ultimate fear.

[675] The last tour I did, it sold out, and I was like, but what about next tour?

[676] It's like, you know what?

[677] I'm done.

[678] I'm weaving my own blanket for the universe I want to create.

[679] Oh, Colson, I wake up in the middle of the night.

[680] I'm like, we're losing all the listeners.

[681] Yeah.

[682] Based on nothing.

[683] I haven't checked out any of the data.

[684] I'm like, we're losing all of it.

[685] It's just madness.

[686] Yeah.

[687] And it's because I, on some level, apparently still, don't think I really deserve it.

[688] Totally.

[689] But that's because we've been molded.

[690] to that.

[691] That was the clay.

[692] We were molded with like grainy clay.

[693] So it's like super easy to fall apart and like you always need the people to keep building and solidifying your leg so that they don't fall out from under you.

[694] It's an interesting feeling I have where I'm so obsessive about being raw with the music that I'm playing.

[695] I remember we went on Stern and the night before they were like, oh, we want you to do a cover.

[696] And I was like, I don't even know we're going to do whatever.

[697] I was on zero sleep.

[698] We had did this, all this press run.

[699] And so early, too.

[700] And then we had to go on at 4 .30 a .m. And so we got together in my friend's kitchen at two.

[701] And we were like, oh, let's do aerial system of a down.

[702] Like, that'll be fun.

[703] Let's just, damn.

[704] We had toured with them and foo fighters on a European festival run for like a whole summer a couple years ago.

[705] There's a song that I've called Lost in Hollywood that I suggest anyone listen to.

[706] It's just a great song.

[707] And we go.

[708] And just like any award shop, I refuse to play it if I can't have my instrument live.

[709] which, for some reason, when COVID hit, it became cool to, like, pre -record everything or, like, lip -sync your guitar.

[710] Oh, okay, wow, all right.

[711] Air guitar, basically.

[712] I always thought about, I can't go home after, like, air playing my guitar and, like, watch that with my family and be, like, sick, right?

[713] So I was like, dude, I don't care if I play wrong notes.

[714] I don't care anything.

[715] All I care about is that I was doing it.

[716] We go, we do aerials, and I have zero voice because we had been on this press.

[717] I've on zero sleep.

[718] I'm also just like, hey, we're just a jamming and I have fun with music.

[719] And people just like, this is a disgrace.

[720] Oh, really?

[721] When I got here this morning, Robbie said, oh, they played System of the Down on Stern.

[722] He was pumped.

[723] Yeah, but he might also know about it because of just band people being like, but this is.

[724] And I'm like, dude, what am I fucking like acting like I'm like Axel Rose where it's like I'm supposed to hit all the notes that Surges hit?

[725] Like, dude, I'm not, I'm not system of a down.

[726] That's not the goal.

[727] If you want to listen to the record version, just fucking listen to the record.

[728] version.

[729] Also, like, goddamn, when Guns and Roses played Sweet Child of Mind, like, they aren't sounding like the record either.

[730] Like, the whole point, though, that's great, is that they're raw and they're actually doing it.

[731] And we're in a day and age of where people are like, it should sound perfect.

[732] And I'm like, dude, perfect isn't cool, though.

[733] The only musician I've ever known that played shit perfect was Prince.

[734] Listen, you are halfway to self -actualization and enlightenment, which is you are at the place where you are willing to go be vulnerable and be flawed.

[735] So that, I commend, because very few people are willing to do that.

[736] And then the place you now got to get to is, and who gives a fine fuck what anyone says after that?

[737] That is where I'm at.

[738] Okay, good.

[739] We can pick up something and go in front of an entire world and play something, knowing that the world is going to see it and hear it.

[740] And we don't give a shit.

[741] You can't say that we're not all doing it.

[742] It's not manufactured.

[743] Yeah, it's not manufactured with some of these bands where I'm like, whoa, dude, you've been around for 20 years and you're on here, air guitaring.

[744] Like, that's actually not cool.

[745] It's not tight.

[746] I would like to join one of those bands.

[747] now that that's an option I think maybe I'll like join a band as a replacement guitarist like could with the way that they're doing it like Santana or something he is one of the few that is like oh I'm playing this shit he's not fucking around but other shit dude I saw a certain person who were in any minutes where I was like oh dude legend and the people go oh yeah you guys are the only ones playing live at this one and I'm like what?

[748] You know what is funny is like we've come to accept long ago that people are lip syncing and often the explanation is that like the dancing so insane.

[749] There's no way they could be doing that dancing.

[750] Which is fine, but I'm not dancing.

[751] Right, right, right, right.

[752] No, I'm only saying we have a barrier between that, which we've accepted and like, you have some guys fake drumming, I'd be like, wait, what the What's the point of going to a show?

[753] Well, that's very true.

[754] They're just all faking everything.

[755] So you're saying this is in front of live audiences?

[756] I thought this was just on TV.

[757] I am speaking about award shows in particular.

[758] Right, right, right, right, right.

[759] Because when COVID happened, that was when, okay, well, we had to start doing late night shows at home.

[760] Yeah, yeah.

[761] Because the studios weren't open.

[762] But then when the stuff started coming back around, everyone just stuck with that format.

[763] He saves you a day of rehearsal.

[764] And we started saying no, unless, like, we did the NHL All -Star game.

[765] And I was like, I want to come in from 100 feet on this platform and come down.

[766] And they go, oh, well, like, I don't think our technology will, like, pick your guitar up from 100 feet.

[767] So just like, you know, just do it.

[768] And I was like, I'm not.

[769] I'm not doing that.

[770] We're going to figure it out.

[771] And so they put, like, receivers in the same.

[772] stands and it was live and it was the intention of what live music is supposed to be and it's not tailored from an engineer it's from my fingers but again let me just really quickly walk you through i can tell you immediately off the top of my head who's never done that in their mind to you so if eric clapton's ever seen you play it doesn't cross his mind maybe here's an off note he doesn't really give a shit if you want very badly to be a guitar player on tv playing and you're asking yourself why aren't i up there now this sense of injustice like well i'm better than you're him, right?

[773] And I can sympathize with that.

[774] When I was first acting, I was obsessed with Vince Vaughn.

[775] Like, I wanted to be Vince Vaughn.

[776] I had a deep fear.

[777] I couldn't be as good as him.

[778] And I'll gossip about him.

[779] And it's just all like, I really wanted that.

[780] And I was afraid maybe I couldn't have that.

[781] I was a victim of that too, where I would gossip about the people that I actually deep down respected.

[782] One's public, as I learned about you.

[783] Like Eminem you loved, right?

[784] Oh, for sure.

[785] The number one dude growing up, him and DMX.

[786] That actually isn't the guy I'm talking about.

[787] I'm speaking about kind of along the lines of what they're saying.

[788] Like you'd see somebody on a war show, you're like, man, but I could be up there doing whatever.

[789] It's the same shit.

[790] So I actually empathize with people who would be quick to like tear me down.

[791] Where secretly in 10 years from now, you're going to look back on this period and be like, I'm actually grateful that he was doing this shit.

[792] And this was good for the scene because we all grow up and we realized like, I was being a jackass and I shouldn't do that.

[793] I'm guilty of that.

[794] You know who I run into actually like once or twice a year is Vince Vaughn.

[795] No shit.

[796] The first time I ran into him, was at Tom Morello's birthday party.

[797] Yeah, he and Favreau are really good friends with those dudes.

[798] I was there, and I go to the bar.

[799] I don't really know anybody there.

[800] Said happy birthday to Tom Mero.

[801] You're kind of back in high school.

[802] Even though you're famous and you have money, it puts you right back in high school.

[803] I don't know if I, you know, so I go to the bar, and I'm like, I can relate to this drink for sure.

[804] So I'm there, and then Chad Smith comes.

[805] Trummer of the chili peppers.

[806] Yes, and then Vince Vaughn comes, and he orders a drink.

[807] And then all three of us look at each other and we're like, hey, we're all tall.

[808] Oh, there you go.

[809] We should all just have this drink together because we're the three tall guys here.

[810] Yeah, Tall Guy Club.

[811] And then we all take a shot and we all have a conversation.

[812] And they didn't know who I was at the time.

[813] And so we're all just, you know, sharing stories.

[814] And then this is five years later after my first therapy session.

[815] I've never been to therapy and I go to therapy.

[816] And my girl picks me up and we walk across the street to dinner.

[817] And then I hear like, what the fuck is up, dude?

[818] And I look and it's Vince Vaughn.

[819] So I always kind of run into Vince ever since then.

[820] and we always relate on like tall guys club thing.

[821] He's so awesome.

[822] It's interesting how when you're open and you're not closed and like negative how you realize like oh everyone's actually really nice and they just want to be accepted too.

[823] Yes.

[824] I don't think Vince would mind me telling this, but I was around him a ton because my wife was working with him.

[825] I admired him.

[826] I didn't know if it was going to go bad, whatever.

[827] It was just kind of all this stuff.

[828] I didn't know if he liked me or hated me or whatever it was.

[829] But after quite a lot of time together, we were on a plane and I just happened to say, oh yeah, yeah, I had to go to the learning disabled room every day.

[830] in elementary he's like oh shit you were in those things and i was like yeah and he's like yeah same and then the floodgates opened up it's all the same we're both compensating for everything everyone is compensating for something like no one goes through life with everything just being fully perfect no one's born self -actualized for sure but there's a lot of people that are giving off the impression that they are you know yes totally no one is no i'm a scared little kid that you're to call dumb and ugly okay first of all so i went through all your shit and i fucking really love it because again my whole life was punk rock i have all these opinions and then i'm prepared oh there's a young dude who's in a punkish band and let's see yeah and i love it i fucking love your music so the things it reminded me up like the bass and it reminds me of fugazi oh i love fuga waiting room oh dude when they hit that break at the beginning oh really great jawbreaker yeah i was at all those shows when I was a kid.

[831] So I was like, oh, the bass is like kind of really driving a lot of the shit and I love it.

[832] And then the only other pop punk band I ever really love was Blink 1282.

[833] Love Blink.

[834] It's got like a blink thing.

[835] It's got a little Fugazi bass thing.

[836] And then, of course, Wabiwob told me today Travis plays drums in your band.

[837] Yeah.

[838] Well, Rook, he's like my little brother.

[839] He plays drums live when we go.

[840] Obviously Travis and Blink and stuff like that.

[841] But I got with Travis because I had tried to get this sound.

[842] I was actually scared taking leaps into just it being as raw as it needed to be and trav was really a good friend and he was a great person to just be like no you should feel good just having it be what it should be and the way he's stuff set up and like the sound that he can attain from it he was like the backbone of the body of ideas that i had brought to the table he's like this stable foundation and then it's a very safe place for you to experiment for sure knowing that he'll reel me back into what it needs to be.

[843] Let's talk about DMX for one second.

[844] The best, dude.

[845] Did you watch the documentary on HBO about them?

[846] I didn't know there was a documentary.

[847] Oh, my God.

[848] I watched it two days ago.

[849] Oh, I didn't even know that existed.

[850] Is it one of the music box ones?

[851] Yep.

[852] Oh, cool.

[853] Okay.

[854] I love DMX as well.

[855] And as an addict, it's just heartbreaking and claustrophobic.

[856] And I'm like, man, the thing is so strong.

[857] I watched it, and I felt like I had relapsed.

[858] I've been around them many times.

[859] Oh, you have.

[860] Oh, yeah, a bunch of times.

[861] Okay.

[862] There's a lot of this stuff we were talking about, about like the geographic cure or the I'm going to have a family cure or this and that.

[863] And for him, Jesus was so a part of that.

[864] So it was like so much about Jesus.

[865] And I've got the devil inside of me and all these things.

[866] And I'm like, oh, bud, but grab the real thing.

[867] You have a fucking disease.

[868] And the Lord's not involved in this, really.

[869] And let's get into it.

[870] Yeah, it's heartbreaking.

[871] It went the way it went.

[872] Yeah.

[873] You know him.

[874] So it's probably super emotional dude, super sincere, the most.

[875] He had got word that he was my favorite artist.

[876] He's on my first album, actually.

[877] No kidding.

[878] And I'd done multiple sessions with him, and I caught him in his up swing of when he was coming back, and then I caught him on the tail end.

[879] I couldn't really tell what was going on with him, but he was so huge to me. I was kind of scared to take the relationship to a friendly check -in level.

[880] Not that it would have done anything.

[881] He has like people like Swiss beats and all these people who have been with them since day one.

[882] That's his circle.

[883] Just what he meant to kids like me where he just gave us like runaway music and music to like, you know, feel like we could fight the world.

[884] Let it out.

[885] I wish I would have pumped that a little bit more into his head.

[886] No one can intervene in an addiction, like other than himself.

[887] He actually was one of the few people that like publicly would stick up for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[888] You know, I remember like me and Charlemagne, we kind of had like an ill rapport before Charlemagne and I became cool.

[889] And I remember, like, there was one time where he was like, yeah, he's whack.

[890] And, you know, DMX was like, my dude, you're tripping.

[891] It was cool.

[892] You know, his mom beat him relentlessly.

[893] That's like his childhood's in the documentary.

[894] She just wailed on him endlessly.

[895] And so I see him.

[896] I see a lot of boys like me. I won't say you're this way, but I don't know.

[897] But just broadcasting to the world, like, don't hurt me. I'll fight back.

[898] And you can just get trapped for life in it.

[899] even when people aren't trying to hurt you.

[900] That's my problem is like I still am at the grocery store and like I think somehow I'm nine someone's going to be in charge of what I do.

[901] Like I feel that way in my body like, oh, I got to fucking kill this human right now before they exert their will on me. Yeah.

[902] And I'm miserable and powerless.

[903] And I'm like, oh, and I'm 47.

[904] What am I doing?

[905] Yeah.

[906] And you have the ability to walk out of any situation where you didn't when you were young and now you do.

[907] And it's like you have to remember that.

[908] Yeah, like hourly.

[909] I got to remind myself.

[910] And you can just feel that kind of in DMX as well, at least in this documentary.

[911] I can't wait to watch it.

[912] Yeah, it's really good.

[913] Do you feel like because you grew up with such instability that you kind of seek, even if it's subconscious, like it's what's familiar to you?

[914] Oh, all the time.

[915] Yeah, like on purpose, torment for sure.

[916] Yeah.

[917] Yeah.

[918] Anyways, I saw this thing you're talking about, having Little Wayne on mainstream sellout.

[919] and then you're just absolute delight and then I was also thinking because you tell the story about he's supposed to be here at this time great he's here now he's in a car fuck okay everyone's looking now he's in a courtyard and then just obviously like endless patience because you know this is how this guy is brilliant he's the opposite of us he's so grounded in who he is oh really I don't know this but like my perception and what's so cool about it was that he was so grounded in knowing that like when I do come in this booth, it's going to be the greatest thing you've ever heard.

[920] And I am such an asset to this that, like, I will make Travis Barker, Machine Gun Kelly, and whoever else is in that studio, wait until I am good and ready to come in there.

[921] Whereas I would be in that courtyard, like, checking in every 15 minutes, like, yo, still writing, you guys good.

[922] Yeah.

[923] Just conviction in who he is.

[924] Yes.

[925] It was a lesson watching that.

[926] I was like, that is who you want to be.

[927] Yeah.

[928] Secure.

[929] So sick.

[930] The result from it was us.

[931] walking away when he left and I was being like, this was the best night of all time.

[932] This was crazy.

[933] Yeah.

[934] And then the funny part two of the story is so he does that and it makes the song perfect.

[935] And then you're like, I'm going to have the audacity to ask if he'll also be in this other song I think he'll be perfect for.

[936] We got to turn this album in at 9 .30 in the morning.

[937] They hit me back and they go, he's going to skate till 7 a .m. And then we'll see if he can get it done.

[938] And so obviously I go to sleep and I set my alarm for like 8 .30, which is about an hour until the album has to be turning.

[939] And when I wake up, there's a little Wayne verse in my text messages.

[940] Because I hit Travis, I'm like, he said it.

[941] I'm like, Travis, did we have any luck?

[942] And then he sent it to me. And he was like, here it is.

[943] And I'm like, this is insane.

[944] That's amazing.

[945] Yeah, it is.

[946] I need to know more about Little Wayne because my guys are like.

[947] Watch the Carter documentary.

[948] Okay.

[949] It's on YouTube.

[950] Just type in like the car documentary and watch a dude who is purely himself, no matter if the president is like, I need to see you right now.

[951] He is like, I'll come down when.

[952] I want.

[953] Right.

[954] And not out of arrogance, just out of knowing who he is.

[955] If I'm recording, this has all my attention.

[956] This has all my energy.

[957] My dude that I feel that way about is Jay -Z, having watched that documentary fade to black.

[958] The best.

[959] To watch him sit there, sit there, sit there, sit there, walk in and do the rhymes with Godfather references that are rhyming with this.

[960] I'm like, that's the closest thing we have to Shakespeare on Planet Earth, I think.

[961] For sure.

[962] Yeah.

[963] Him like taking a jet to Rick Rubin's house and not feeling this pressure of like, I got to make the bet.

[964] just like rolls in.

[965] He goes, I got 99 pounds, but a bitch ain't one.

[966] And you're like, what?

[967] Yeah, no paper, no nothing.

[968] Oh, my God.

[969] And then the fact that a bitch isn't even what we think.

[970] It's a dog.

[971] It's a drug dog.

[972] Oh, I didn't know that.

[973] Yes, he got pulled over.

[974] And the cop is like, I'm going to search your car.

[975] He brings a drug dog.

[976] And he's like, you know, I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.

[977] I like that now so much.

[978] I mean, I already loved it.

[979] No, he's talking about a dog.

[980] Wow.

[981] Monica and I've had some debates because the dude who's now tied for me with Jay -Z is Anderson Pack.

[982] Yeah, he's great.

[983] I mean, I love him too.

[984] I know you do.

[985] I'm not going to throw you under the glass.

[986] There's one song in particular I love where it's if I call you a bitch, you know, that song?

[987] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[988] I actually was rehearsing in a space where he was next door.

[989] And before he walked out the door, we were like, God damn, that band sounds so good.

[990] Who is that?

[991] And then he walked out and I'm like, oh, it was probably the Free Nationals band.

[992] Dude, they're great.

[993] Oh, I was like, wow.

[994] Well, anyways, there's a song where the bitches really heavily, and we've had a lot of debates about it, yeah.

[995] That's all.

[996] Well, before you judge a bitch now, you got to think about what the context is.

[997] Maybe he's not even talking about women.

[998] For me, the attitude grounded level of, like, who he is, to me, would also be like Liam Gallagher.

[999] Oh, you love Liam Gallagher.

[1000] Just because he's like, I'm the greatest.

[1001] Fuck you.

[1002] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1003] You're like, wow.

[1004] If you ever look at his Twitter, it's cool when they're huge and they act like they're still tweeting like they have three followers.

[1005] I think the thing you're attracted to is being unaffected by people not liking you.

[1006] You can't tell Jay -Z shit.

[1007] There's this great interview where I think like him and Birdman were having beef about who had the most money.

[1008] And they bring it up.

[1009] And instead of like a lot of us who would have this emotional response or defensive, he almost says it where you have to like turn it up and put your ear to the speaker.

[1010] He's so calm.

[1011] He's like, I mean, that's not opinion.

[1012] That's black and white.

[1013] We can see the.

[1014] we can show the accounts right now if you want to be but like but even that you gotta pay me to show you that like it was just like the most confident not defensive it's great man and then there's someone like Liam who's just like well I'm the greatest sure sure okay the tour you are already on or when does that start?

[1015] It starts in June it's my first arena tour oh my gosh yeah what are your fears what are your excitements about it I'm actually fearless in this one.

[1016] Every act I've opened for, literally from like the Technin to the Rick Rosses to the lint biscuits, to whoever, to Vance Warp Tour, to the Food Fighters.

[1017] So I've done it and I've done it from little venues with 150 caps to venues with endless amounts of people, but we've never taken an arena which looks the same on the inside every time and had the notion to be like, okay, we have to make this still feel like it felt when we were performing in those intimate places.

[1018] If there was a fear, it would be that, but I solved that.

[1019] And we're going to come with a really unique stage and like something that will feel close.

[1020] But even if it's far, it's like what a spectacle to witness.

[1021] And, you know, also too, I was notorious for spending all of my, you know, money on lights or anything, even in small places.

[1022] They're like, you're going to make no money if you get this lighting rig.

[1023] I'm like, I don't care.

[1024] I got to do this.

[1025] They haven't got to see us with like real amounts of money to do a real production.

[1026] That's where we're strongest at is live.

[1027] Okay.

[1028] Now, Do you know Colson has a very long acting resume?

[1029] Do you know that about him?

[1030] I did not know that.

[1031] I would have maybe guessed that you didn't.

[1032] But he was on that show, Rodees.

[1033] That was with Luke, who was in an idiocry.

[1034] That's right.

[1035] Oh.

[1036] Do you want to hear my Luke impersonation?

[1037] Please.

[1038] Okay.

[1039] I was really good at doing it when I worked with him.

[1040] It's gotten shittier, but this is something he would say.

[1041] I got one too.

[1042] Okay, great.

[1043] He'd go, oh, I love it in Curvy's.

[1044] Okay.

[1045] This is mine.

[1046] Hey, Colson.

[1047] And it's kind of a shit morning, man. It's pretty good.

[1048] Just exhausted.

[1049] And then as soon as the camera's on, Luke Wilson, fully come to life.

[1050] Do you want to your O -N?

[1051] Okay, sure.

[1052] Oh, wow, machine and tell.

[1053] That's a great.

[1054] I love that name.

[1055] Did you, um, let me ask.

[1056] You guys saw you're going on a big tour, it's a arena.

[1057] Are you afraid that maybe, like, um, wow.

[1058] I don't know, people, like, fall out of the top?

[1059] Yeah.

[1060] like fall on the ground you must have seen bottle rocket it's my favorite yeah here's the line i usually do of his to get me into his car he's like how's an ass like mom get such a great kitchen i think it's good that's pretty good how the fuck are you dealing with your tattoos are you in a makeup chair for six hours yeah that one's rough that stopped me from getting them and so now i'm resuming but that's what kept me from getting more is it's a beat down and then your fucking arm looks like a kindol when they're done right it's just all like one monochromatic crunchy and it cracks all there's no hair you have to shave all your hair it's a kindel with cracks all over it from the thick makeup but yeah how long are you in a makeup chair for that three to five hours oh my i hope there's a scientist listening who can it help can't they just paint it out after oh it's because it's moving if you sat perfectly still i mean it would just take a long time they could do it frame by frame yeah it'd have to be like your arena tour the budget would have to be off the charge yeah okay so in addition to you having mainstream sellout and then the stadium tour which is going to be so much fun you also have a movie you've written and directed and you star in called good morning m o you are n as in in morning and my first thought is like i know why i did it wrote directed acted i'm curious why you wanted to do that i didn't want to act in it i think that that kind of just came from people around me, like, but like, don't you just want to, like, play that character?

[1061] Also, money -wise, I'm sure, right?

[1062] Like, people that are going to fund this want you in it.

[1063] That was what it was.

[1064] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1065] But I wrote and directed it.

[1066] It was when I first started seeing Megan, not even, like, dating Megan.

[1067] This is back when she was fine going a week without looking at her phone.

[1068] Oh, wow.

[1069] Good for her.

[1070] That's gangster.

[1071] Yeah, super gangster.

[1072] It took me a long time to believe until you get around and you see it.

[1073] You'd be out somewhere and you'd be like, oh, can you do this?

[1074] And she's like, oh, my phone's at the house.

[1075] And you're like, what?

[1076] Yeah.

[1077] Wow, that's amazing.

[1078] It's like a superhero.

[1079] Yeah.

[1080] If you didn't respond to me in a week, the story I would have.

[1081] That's exactly where the movie came from, dude.

[1082] She goes, I'm going to Europe, actually to, like, evaluate Stonehenge.

[1083] Oh, okay.

[1084] She needs to get in touch with that.

[1085] She was super interested in, like, the tuning of the rocks.

[1086] And this is her dream.

[1087] She wants to essentially just explore and uncover secrets of the world.

[1088] Okay.

[1089] Indiana Jones.

[1090] Indiana Fox.

[1091] Megan Jones.

[1092] Megan Jones.

[1093] And she left.

[1094] And when she left, though, she sent me this text.

[1095] And I lived in a house with all my friends at the time.

[1096] And I went to each level, every room in the house.

[1097] And I was like, guys, what would you say this message means?

[1098] And every single person had a different piece of advice.

[1099] All of them were terrible.

[1100] Sure, sure, sure.

[1101] They led me to essentially just driving myself crazy.

[1102] I mean, let's just say your immediate assumption was like, well, this is over.

[1103] It's over.

[1104] Yeah, exactly.

[1105] We weren't dating, so it's not a breakup text, but is this like a like...

[1106] This isn't going any further.

[1107] Yes.

[1108] Yeah.

[1109] It didn't go your way.

[1110] And then she didn't take her phone.

[1111] God bless her to Europe.

[1112] Dude, still to this day, we'll go on trips and she won't bring her phone.

[1113] Oh, my God.

[1114] She is very adamant, and she's not wrong that the phone is a disease.

[1115] Oh, big time.

[1116] So she is super good being like, I don't have any social media on my phone.

[1117] I don't have any interest in like what other people have to say.

[1118] That's why she always is so grounded because I'll be like, can you believe this is going viral?

[1119] She's like, I can't because I don't know and I don't care and you're amazing and I don't know what anyone has to say or cares.

[1120] And that's advice for all of us on how to live a happy life is just see what's in front of you.

[1121] So I go, I tell everybody, well, this is a disaster.

[1122] I don't know why this is happening.

[1123] I text her a million times.

[1124] Oh, Jesus.

[1125] Call a million times.

[1126] I'm like, just, what does this mean?

[1127] Like, decode this and like get no response.

[1128] It's a week in.

[1129] I've now went on eight cul -de -sax walk with Travis, who was the only person who was actually like, dude, like she's the grown woman.

[1130] Like, you're good.

[1131] If you're seeing each other, like, everything's good.

[1132] And I'm in my head like, no, we're not.

[1133] Look at this.

[1134] And then I imagine, too, you're like picking up all these, like, clues you had missed.

[1135] Like, oh, right.

[1136] Two weeks ago, when I paid for the bill, she got mad.

[1137] I'm scrolling up doing the full DaVinci code to the text conversation.

[1138] And so I then randomly is like, I need to, like, write this.

[1139] I'm not going to write in a song.

[1140] This situation's crazy.

[1141] I started writing this movie.

[1142] And the reason why I was called Good Morning with a You was essentially like how you can just take a simple phrase or a sentence and like see it the wrong way.

[1143] Because your text from your girl was Good Morning.

[1144] In the movie.

[1145] And you end up finding out it's a typo.

[1146] Spoiler.

[1147] But like, you know, the obstacles you created around this one thing and how reactive us as men are just one extra letter, change the trajectory of our entire day.

[1148] And there's a tarot card that intros the movie Because that was actually what I got from her Because she's very spiritual And all those things that were unfamiliar to me In writing the movie, I remember I went to the tarot deck And I was like, show me what card should be the card And I drew an aid of swords And I was like, I don't know this card.

[1149] Like, what is that?

[1150] You look it up and the swords all represent obstacles That you create for yourself.

[1151] Oh, wow.

[1152] And so that's the point of the tarot card.

[1153] It flashes very quickly in the movie But everything in the movie, if it is mentioned, it all comes back around at some point, which is cool.

[1154] So everything that someone says or does, it all comes back around, and that's, like, fun for if you watch it a couple times.

[1155] And you smoke a lot of weed.

[1156] And I smoke a lot of weed.

[1157] So that was probably also, like, me just being like, also the first drafts of that fucking script were terrible.

[1158] They were like, they were so, like, crazy.

[1159] Like, when I was unhigh and I'd read it back, I was like, why did the witch come up at Mel's Dider and go choose wisely?

[1160] It's like just things that we just did not end up using it all, but we're so bad.

[1161] Stay tuned for more armchair.

[1162] expert if you dare i got to tell you one bit i loved i don't think i've made a movie without throwing up in it it's one of my favorite things is throwing out the intro to the character he's looking through a microwave oh god i love that shot it's so good the cameras in the microwave looking out it to do just trying to wait patiently and the camera's spinning right on the little rotating thing and just when i thought i was like okay well i got this bit why are we still here I'm one of the times in Spiceroy, he just fucking pukes all over the front of microwave.

[1163] Oh, my God.

[1164] Oh, my God, that one got me. I was laughing so hard.

[1165] I was mad I hadn't thought to ever come up with that.

[1166] And he's eating spaghetti and cereal.

[1167] It's like a kind of an ode to gummo.

[1168] I love gummo.

[1169] Little things that we were putting in there.

[1170] Harmony Corrine.

[1171] Yeah, just cool little shit that we were like, we should just do a little ode to that.

[1172] I don't think anyone will catch it.

[1173] But that guy who threw up, he actually wrote and directed it with me. So I had texted him when I had started writing the movie.

[1174] And I didn't realize I did this, but I texted him.

[1175] I said, hey, do you want to come write this movie?

[1176] And the only reason he came over was because it came at 11 -11.

[1177] He was doing something else, and he was like, you know what?

[1178] Like, weird sign.

[1179] I'll just go over there.

[1180] No kidding.

[1181] And thank God he came over.

[1182] We were like, his name is London Clash.

[1183] He's the star of this TV show that everyone loves, but he ruined the finale.

[1184] A supermarket, best song on that album?

[1185] What's that?

[1186] London Calling.

[1187] Oh, my God.

[1188] Well, the reason why was because I had been hit by a double -decker bus in real life.

[1189] And you know, they have the song.

[1190] That's a smith.

[1191] And if a double decker bus...

[1192] So we were just in that zone of just all the UK band, whatever.

[1193] So we were kind of just going through our Rolodex.

[1194] Because it was at one point London Smith.

[1195] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1196] So we got to London, because we just ran a bunch of names and we're like, which one's best?

[1197] I want to know about getting hit by a double -decker bus.

[1198] That was in 2013 in Manchester.

[1199] I was...

[1200] Oh, ding, ding, ding, Manchester.

[1201] Looking for weed.

[1202] I just landed.

[1203] Saw a guy across street.

[1204] I was like, that dude, for sure.

[1205] As we took one step into the road, got smacked by a double -decker bus.

[1206] What kind of injuries?

[1207] All my jeans ripped because I slid on the ground.

[1208] My head spiderweb the whole windshield.

[1209] Oh my God.

[1210] Went to the hospital.

[1211] We got three x -rays, x -ray, MRI, and cat scan, all for internal bleeding.

[1212] Any opiates?

[1213] All of them when I got out.

[1214] Okay, great.

[1215] They kept calling me Superman because I guess Superman would get hit by a bus and just stand there.

[1216] I went to x -ray.

[1217] There's no internal bleeding.

[1218] They're like, that can't be possible, like, that you spiderweb the bus.

[1219] So they sent me to MRI.

[1220] When I went to MRI room, they were like, oh, Superman.

[1221] I guess like the hospital all knew, like, this dude.

[1222] got hit by a bus and like, yeah.

[1223] And you were fine?

[1224] Yeah, it was fine.

[1225] And the bus driver was dead.

[1226] Yeah, when the answer to I got hit by a double -decker bus is my pants ripped.

[1227] Yeah, I love it.

[1228] I don't remember this part, but my manager at the time was with me and he was like, yeah, you stood up and just like, yelled at the bus driver to keep going.

[1229] Like, get out of here.

[1230] Like, just get out of here.

[1231] Oh, my God.

[1232] Like, I was in like a cancust state.

[1233] Talk about the apex of codependency.

[1234] So it's like, fuck, I stepped in front of this bus.

[1235] now this guy's in trouble just fucking go just got out of here dude just fucking hit and run dude I'm not gonna call the cops so the Smith's song we thought of that and then it was London Smith and then it got to London Clash sorry for the supermarket slipped your it's still the double -decker damage and yeah the movie goes and he has all these friends that lead him down this crazy journey through this one day because I love movies that happen in one day yeah me too For some reason.

[1236] It was fun, yeah.

[1237] Do you have a favorite that is one one day?

[1238] I love Super Bad.

[1239] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1240] I love Super Bad.

[1241] There's a lot of good one day.

[1242] Yeah, yeah, almost real -time movies.

[1243] And we also couldn't extend the budget to get wardrobe for multiple days.

[1244] So, you know, we had to kind of just stick with one.

[1245] We had no cast seven days before because I was shooting another movie, which is called Taurus.

[1246] It's a dark character.

[1247] I was just in that.

[1248] And I was like, it'll be fine.

[1249] It'll be fine.

[1250] And then the finances were like, homie, like, we're canceling this movie.

[1251] like you have no cast and at the last minute we asked every favor possible to get on so we end up getting this insane cast pete davidson megan fox the person i want to talk most about i think he's the actor i'm very most excited about in life currently is gaita we got him right before we started shoot you watch dave okay dave is brilliant yeah not only is it brilliant but gator's the real deal he's really was a hype man yes and then his acting is insane The whole bipolar episode.

[1252] That episode is one of the best TV episodes.

[1253] Of all time.

[1254] And then also the season finale.

[1255] Yes.

[1256] He's so fucking good.

[1257] Yeah.

[1258] It's rare that it's, what do I want's the word for?

[1259] It's just like, oh, someone was just so beautiful that they couldn't help but be perfect.

[1260] Like you didn't need anything.

[1261] He's just a gem.

[1262] Well, Maud son, the guy who I directed the movie with, he knew Geda from back in the day because he used to hype for Travi McCoy from Jim Class Hero.

[1263] Or he was his artist and they used to hype for like Tyga.

[1264] and then he had a group with School Boy Q. A lot of the people we had casted through, like, just seen kid shit.

[1265] Like, oh, hit up your homie, hit up this.

[1266] And I was a fan of him from Dave, obviously.

[1267] So he agreed to do it.

[1268] He came on and we were like, okay, well, you were Gata on this show.

[1269] What should we do?

[1270] And we were like, oh, dude, you're a rave kid.

[1271] We gave him like the raver buns, the Rick jeans.

[1272] We took him outside of Gata.

[1273] Yeah, yeah.

[1274] Which was fun.

[1275] He's just so good.

[1276] He's great.

[1277] I remember there was certain things that I had to be like, okay, but you're not Gata in this, though.

[1278] because I remember there was this one line when he's filling in as Batman because London has an audition that the whole day takes place around like this is a huge day for you.

[1279] You bombed on this finale, but like people see something in you on this powerful agent and I got you this audition for the new Batman.

[1280] She said so their legs completely spread apart the entire scene.

[1281] It's so funny.

[1282] And it's blocked by Gata's knee and she was like, I really want to play this character like this.

[1283] And she gets this meeting for him but he's like, my girlfriend is like missing and breaking up with me. I have to go.

[1284] find that.

[1285] And so he chooses to go find her.

[1286] He was like, well, I'm going to fill in.

[1287] And so he shows up at this meeting.

[1288] But, you know, he's a raver DJ.

[1289] So he has one of those masks.

[1290] And this is kind of like us just kind of laughing at the whole like DJ with the mask thing.

[1291] And so he goes to fill in.

[1292] And because he's like, well, Batman wears a mask.

[1293] So this will actually fool the director enough.

[1294] And I'm going to sit down.

[1295] And so he goes to sit down.

[1296] And he has this line that we wrote where we were like, Who's dick do I got to suck to get some pancakes around here?

[1297] As Batman.

[1298] He's not an actor.

[1299] He doesn't know what to do.

[1300] So he could sit down and he's kind of like throwing these lines.

[1301] And I remember Gator did not want to say that line.

[1302] Oh, he didn't.

[1303] And I was like, but remember, you're not Gata.

[1304] You're Leo who's just goofy and like doing whatever he can to get his friend this job.

[1305] And like he would say this line.

[1306] Yep.

[1307] And it was cool because we took a break for a second.

[1308] we had smoked and we're like you know if you don't want to do it fuck it and he had this moment where he was like yell action and he fucking sat down and he was like whose dick do I gotta suck to get some pancakes around here the directing was difficult too because we wouldn't have cast members until the day like I remember I made them rent out Van Nuys Airport for a four hour period because I was like there's going to be an athlete that is going to punch London and up until the day that it was shooting, we kept lying to them.

[1309] I was like, yeah, I got Steph Curry, dude.

[1310] And then they would reach out and they'd be like, Steph Curry has no idea that this happening.

[1311] I'm like, okay, yeah, I know, but we got, you know, we got LeBron James.

[1312] And so they're like, dude, we fucking rented out Van Nuys Airport.

[1313] There better be a goddamn actor, athlete, somebody there.

[1314] We're panicking it's a night before.

[1315] And I'm like, Maude.

[1316] Like, I've reached out to every athlete.

[1317] I know.

[1318] Like, you have to give me a suggestion.

[1319] He's like, shit, dude, you know, I don't know any athletes.

[1320] The only one I know is the one that's tattooed on my arm.

[1321] he has Dennis Rodman tattooed on his arm And I go Perfect Done And I hit Dennis Robin up He's like I'll come But you guys have to pick me up On a Rolls Royce No problem We send him a fucking Rolls Royce to Orange County Halfway through the Rose Royce owner Calls us and he's like Dennis Robin smoking a fucking cigar In my Rolls Royce I'm like I don't give a fuck You just fucking get Dennis Robin here I'll fucking pay whatever Just fucking get him here Yes And he fucking pulls up Wow And he gets out And my favorite thing Mod like goes up to him and he's like, dude, check it out.

[1322] He shows him the Dennis Robin tattooed Dennis Robin and goes, I see it, blows right past him.

[1323] Most rock star shit I've ever seen.

[1324] I see it.

[1325] We're like, all right, we got some wardrobe for you.

[1326] Like, what do you want?

[1327] He's like, what do you mean?

[1328] I'm already enclosed.

[1329] He's like in this wrinkled white t -shirt and a hat.

[1330] Like, yeah, that, yeah, great.

[1331] And we get him in there.

[1332] He does it, knocks it out.

[1333] But every day was kind of like that.

[1334] And whenever there would be a new cast member, there wouldn't actually be one until like an hour before.

[1335] We'd be like, oh, thank God.

[1336] We got so and so.

[1337] And so.

[1338] Printing the call sheet morning of.

[1339] Exactly.

[1340] and we would just get whoever we could.

[1341] We edited it on tour backstage.

[1342] No kidding.

[1343] Yeah, so I would fly the editor out.

[1344] He's great.

[1345] His name's AJ.

[1346] He edits.

[1347] I think it was like arrested development and a couple things like that.

[1348] And so I very unconventionally, I'm sure, to his work process was like, dude, meet me in Arkansas and set up backstage.

[1349] And like, he would literally be backstage and we'd have some speakers.

[1350] Mini Ambit set up.

[1351] And we'd be going through and we'd do it.

[1352] When I went to propose to Megan, we were still finishing editing.

[1353] So, like, I was in Dominican Republic.

[1354] ducking off to secret rooms for like three -hour editing sessions on Zoom being like, oh, okay, this, this, this, this.

[1355] And dude, it was daunting.

[1356] And then my friends scored it, Bays and Slim.

[1357] They're in my band, actually.

[1358] Oh, how cool.

[1359] And that was really important to me because I felt like as a musician, people are going to look at the music in the movie.

[1360] A lot of your stuff's in there.

[1361] Yeah, that was also per studio request.

[1362] There was like, if we're getting you, we're getting some of that music.

[1363] So I was like, fair.

[1364] And then we did an original song for it called Good Morning with a You.

[1365] And, yeah.

[1366] Cool.

[1367] Fuck, yeah.

[1368] Whose G -Wagon was that?

[1369] That is mods.

[1370] It is.

[1371] I knew it was somebody's real G. Yeah, we did not have budget for all of these cars.

[1372] We were just like, dude, we got to wrap your car.

[1373] Yeah.

[1374] We have to do it.

[1375] I kind of love it.

[1376] I kind of love it.

[1377] I do too.

[1378] It's black, but it's got safety pins all over it.

[1379] Oh.

[1380] I really kind of loved it.

[1381] I was like, oh, if that's Colson's real car, I'm into it.

[1382] I'm feeling it.

[1383] Do you care about cars?

[1384] Yeah.

[1385] You do?

[1386] Yeah.

[1387] I just bought a cobra.

[1388] Oh, you did?

[1389] Yeah.

[1390] For my birthday.

[1391] An AC cobra, like a 60s?

[1392] Yeah.

[1393] That's his big car guy.

[1394] That's my life.

[1395] Okay, you have a fucking coffee house in Cleveland.

[1396] Club 27.

[1397] Go there drink coffee.

[1398] Drink liquid death.

[1399] Drink liquid death, which we actually drink, which you are part of.

[1400] Go see.

[1401] Boom.

[1402] What a crack.

[1403] Mainstream sellout stadium tour.

[1404] Get tickets and go to it.

[1405] Watch, good morning.

[1406] M -O -U -R -N -I -N -G.

[1407] It comes out May 20th.

[1408] The trailer came out on 420.

[1409] It's a stoner comedy.

[1410] I think I can call it that.

[1411] Yeah, totally.

[1412] Yeah, yeah.

[1413] Let's own what it is.

[1414] And you're lovely.

[1415] And you're a fucking sweetheart.

[1416] and I knew you were going to be.

[1417] Thanks, guys.

[1418] And I liked it.

[1419] I have one last question.

[1420] So you and Pete Davidson are buddies.

[1421] Yeah.

[1422] Makes total sense.

[1423] He also seems like a very sweet person.

[1424] He's an us boy.

[1425] Fucked up childhood.

[1426] I know why you're friends.

[1427] Dudes must want to fight you guys nonstop when you go up.

[1428] Is that accurate?

[1429] Yeah, there's a skit on my album.

[1430] He's almost called The Wall of Fame Interlude.

[1431] He's always on my albums doing like skits.

[1432] And that was right after we met up with him.

[1433] They love each other.

[1434] And he's like, where do you want to go to dinner?

[1435] And she set a place.

[1436] And he's like, we're going to in and out.

[1437] And so we go to in and out.

[1438] And we're sitting outside on the table and we're looking at this car.

[1439] There's a girl and a guy.

[1440] And the dude, we can read his lips and his whole body gestures.

[1441] And he's behind the windshield clearly like, babe, if you weren't here, I'd like, I'd go fuck him up for no reason.

[1442] Just like zero reason.

[1443] Because she's like, oh, this is cool.

[1444] Look, it's them.

[1445] And then he was like, dude, he's doing the arms and the angry neck vein.

[1446] And we were just like eating a burger with my kid.

[1447] Like, dude.

[1448] It's exhausting.

[1449] Well, I'm going to give you one of Luke Wilson line.

[1450] He nailed this perfectly.

[1451] Once he said it, I realized, oh, God, I've heard this so many times.

[1452] So if you're you or Pete or myself in a previous life, dumb enough to go out to a bar, what will happen is dudes will have been spending the entire night, buying someone drinks, trying to chat them up, and then you're there, and they don't have their attention anymore, and they're pissed.

[1453] So Luke told me, he's like, how many times a guy's come up to you at bars and say, I don't know who the fuck you are, but my girlfriend seems to know who you are?

[1454] And I'm like, oh, my God, dude, I've heard that like two dozen times.

[1455] that you say it so many times i guess everyone here thinks you're somebody i don't know who the fuck you are isn't that the worst i'm also like you know what's funny i didn't ask to be known when i walked in here like you act like i have a giant neon sign like everyone it's me also dudes are pissed because here's what happened you were the fucking kid in high school they could have shoved down at any time you didn't fucking play football this is unjust the lane i chose was supposed to be that and it's triggering.

[1456] What a trip, dude.

[1457] I never thought about that, that it was like you were attainably shubbable at one point.

[1458] Yes.

[1459] Now, why you got money?

[1460] Why are these girls like you?

[1461] Like, I was supposed to be on the road to that.

[1462] Yeah.

[1463] Or just like, come say hi and get a memory real quick and just like be cool and we could all just have a good time.

[1464] I know.

[1465] That's kind of where I've been at for a while, which is like, oh, I get it.

[1466] It's my chance to go through high school all over again and like everybody.

[1467] And I just want to like everybody.

[1468] Totally.

[1469] Me too, man. Everyone has a shitty childhood, I'm pretty sure.

[1470] Everyone has something.

[1471] For sure.

[1472] All right.

[1473] Colson, aka Machine Gun Kelly, everyone check out your shit.

[1474] Again, stadium tour.

[1475] Good morning.

[1476] Club 27.

[1477] What's the name of the water?

[1478] Liquid death.

[1479] Liquid death.

[1480] Buy it all.

[1481] Get it all.

[1482] It's so fun having you in, man. Thank you guys so much.

[1483] I'm so glad.

[1484] I hope you made the right decision.

[1485] I made the right decision.

[1486] You were debating, yeah.

[1487] Do I want to end it or fucking go for it?

[1488] You went for it, and I hope it was good.

[1489] Fuck, yeah.

[1490] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1491] Okay.

[1492] I got nervous for you.

[1493] You too.

[1494] No, what could be more stressful than a computer breaking when your whole life is the computer?

[1495] Nothing.

[1496] Not one thing.

[1497] Not a death in the family?

[1498] Well, this is stressful.

[1499] Not an amputation.

[1500] Ding, ding, ding.

[1501] Segway.

[1502] Oh.

[1503] I had a crazy dream.

[1504] Okay.

[1505] I have to tell you about it.

[1506] Great.

[1507] So I was in high school.

[1508] And it was in the middle of the day, and they, like, sprung this contest on us that if you stayed at school for 24 hours, we get paid 80 bucks.

[1509] Okay, great.

[1510] And then 30 bucks, more per 30 minutes, you added on.

[1511] Oh, my gosh.

[1512] So that's what you're going for.

[1513] Well, yeah.

[1514] That's where the money's at, post 24 hours.

[1515] But, like, living there, then, I guess, you know.

[1516] Let me do the quick math.

[1517] Okay.

[1518] Okay, so that's $48 times 30.

[1519] That's $1 ,200, then $2 .40.

[1520] That's $1 ,4 ,000 versus the $80 up front.

[1521] So the first $24 you'd make $80, the second you would make.

[1522] Exactly.

[1523] Wow, that's huge.

[1524] I don't think they thought it through.

[1525] They probably didn't have anyone with fast mass skills on the team.

[1526] But it was like kind of squid game.

[1527] They would throw stuff out so we'd get worse and worse.

[1528] Oh, fun.

[1529] They wanted people to drop out.

[1530] It was like a psychological.

[1531] Experiment they were doing we couldn't go home like it was the middle of the day at two o 'clock let's say and they sprung this contest you couldn't go home to like even get stuff okay you were there now it's just the stuff you had clock starts now uh -huh one thing that they said a day in or something is like okay you can only sleep next to people who are wearing the same color clothes as you okay not very metaphorical no and then okay and then I was trying to take a shower so they have had like...

[1532] You needed to shower in that 24 hours?

[1533] No, no, it was like past the original 24 hours.

[1534] I was still there.

[1535] Okay, so you fast forwarded a bunch.

[1536] Sorry, yeah.

[1537] You're like, you know, I can't leave.

[1538] It starts now, but then you're at the end of it.

[1539] Okay, so you're there, you've been there for 24 hours.

[1540] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1541] Time is...

[1542] Anything eventful happened in the first 24 hours?

[1543] Mainly the clothing thing.

[1544] Okay, the clothing thing.

[1545] And then I was trying to take a shower.

[1546] And then, like, one guy had been there for eight years somehow.

[1547] Oh, he was rich.

[1548] Fast math.

[1549] I can't even do it.

[1550] I think that was like kind of squid gamesy too, like an old person there.

[1551] Oh, yeah.

[1552] I don't know.

[1553] Or squid game.

[1554] E. Squid game.

[1555] I went into the bathrooms with the showers and they're all nasty, you know.

[1556] Of course.

[1557] There's nothing grosser than a communal shower.

[1558] They were disgusting.

[1559] And then there was one that looked clean.

[1560] But then there was this teeny tiny piece of poop on the floor.

[1561] Okay.

[1562] So it was like, fuck.

[1563] And so the whole time I'm showering, I'm just like staring.

[1564] at this like don't accidentally step in oh it was so stressful i was so stressed really quick too just i would opt to not shower if it was going to be communal and i'd only been there a day but you what you were like i got to shower i had to maybe it was required i don't remember this you know yeah when i woke up i was like oh like i'm so glad that was a dream oh i hadn't pooped in the bed oh okay maybe it was a little poop in the bed or on the floor no thank god no i just was like, ugh, that was awful.

[1565] And then I was like, people who camp, they're choosing that.

[1566] They're choosing that life.

[1567] So, yes, and this is what boggles me about camping anywhere, but in areas with lakes.

[1568] So all of our camping trips were either to a river or a lake.

[1569] And as a kid, I just fucking swam.

[1570] Because you go in those campground showers.

[1571] It's just so wet in there.

[1572] This is one of my big, big, and you know this about me. I got phobia.

[1573] Sure.

[1574] I can't stand.

[1575] having my feet on a wet ground indoors so even like at an indoor pool i hate walking along the side of the pool yeah feels so communal it does and it's stinky yeah it's a it's a musty smell in there yeah so i ah god so yeah when i find out people go camping like in the desert or here and there i think you got to have water what are you going to do then you're stuck in those showers i know i'll never when i think of prison my number one thing is like oh my god Your only option is to, and guys are, they're having accidents in the shower.

[1576] I know.

[1577] No one gives the shit.

[1578] They've already proven they don't give a fuck about the rules of society.

[1579] So it's like if they got to go in the shower, tough shit.

[1580] They do.

[1581] They just push.

[1582] I know.

[1583] That's what probably happened in this shower that I was in.

[1584] Someone before let a poop out.

[1585] I let a fart out and some poop came out.

[1586] Uh -huh.

[1587] Guys snuck up on them.

[1588] Okay, so other forced transition, that makes me think of, I just spent the whole week with Aaron.

[1589] Uh -huh.

[1590] Oh, what a glorious eight days.

[1591] Great.

[1592] It's so much fun.

[1593] We sang the same songs over and over and over and over.

[1594] You know that song, Mama say, Mama say, Mama say, Mama, Sam, Mama, Sam, Mama, Son.

[1595] It started with me just saying it one time.

[1596] Mama say, Mama, Sam, Mama, Ma 'u, Son.

[1597] And then I heard Aaron go, It's like they say, Mom, Mauna, Ma.

[1598] And you would just add a little bit of a real world.

[1599] It's like they say, when your son is my son.

[1600] And that evolved into, that's not the point of the story.

[1601] What occurred to me is he's the only male in my life that I'll be naked around.

[1602] Because we were sharing a room the last three days.

[1603] And if I had to, like, change to go down to the gym or whatever, I'd just be naked in front of them.

[1604] And I just, I'm not, I don't do that in front of dudes.

[1605] Yeah, that's interesting.

[1606] And then he, too.

[1607] I saw his penis a few times.

[1608] Sure.

[1609] And it's old school.

[1610] I mean, not old school.

[1611] It's just old hat.

[1612] You know, I've seen it a million times.

[1613] I don't even notice it is what I'm saying.

[1614] Oh, these penis is out.

[1615] Sure.

[1616] And then the mind was out sometimes.

[1617] Oh, there's my penis.

[1618] Yeah.

[1619] Anyways.

[1620] You've just been doing it.

[1621] since you were little, so it's all...

[1622] I know, but also there's been this huge gap where I haven't been nude around any men for decades.

[1623] Yeah.

[1624] I can't think of a time I've been nude.

[1625] Maybe in front of Eric for a half second at Hot Yoga, but I don't even think then.

[1626] I think he was nude and I wasn't.

[1627] And I thought, wow, he's just so fine being married.

[1628] Oh, I see, yeah.

[1629] That's kind of surprising because you're so free and you love men's bodies that, like, it's surprising that you haven't been nude around more men.

[1630] I don't care of another dude's nude.

[1631] I'm not trying to be nude in front of a...

[1632] dude maybe it's my own baggage of whatever i don't know yeah oh but ding ding dingles so the last two days of the trip we were in orlando i had a job in orlando and so i said well fuck we're in orlando should we go to disney world yeah it's hot as haiti's there and i said well let's get a guide it's expensive yeah yeah i mean it's and we just did it right we did it i'm like man i'm giving disney all the money this year seriously it starts with a text from kately katelyn's her name just normal text.

[1633] Okay, me, at front of the hotel, I think 11 we departed.

[1634] So we go out there and we get in the car and I don't know how.

[1635] Something very organically led to me saying I was on this show parenthood.

[1636] And then she said, yeah, that's my favorite show ever.

[1637] Mind you, she was so cool right out of the gates.

[1638] Like, you know, my thing is neediness.

[1639] I have a hard time with neediness.

[1640] We had also a great guide here in Disneyland.

[1641] We absolutely did.

[1642] But my thing, thing is like I'm very uncomfortable around neediness she just was cool she was from the east coast she's like upstate new york just real fucking straightforward could tell she was really smart so she said oh i loved parenthood and i go oh my god okay great you kept pretty quiet about that and she goes yeah and i go have you heard the podcast and she goes let's just say that it was all i could do not to say hi best friend erin weekly when we got back and then she went on to say that they have like they used to have a wish list there if you were a guide and you kind of got to put a dart in three celebrities and so they don't have it anymore but also that's kind of expressed between them all well hers i'm in there that's amazing it was amazing and marley matlin was her other who guess what she got to do a tour with her wow we had the best time with her she was incredible great shout out for her she's living in the sim i guess i brought that up yeah i'm like what are the odds that you wanted Marley and me and then we got here.

[1643] It's kind of crazy.

[1644] Marley and me. Marley and me. Oh my gosh.

[1645] That's really something.

[1646] What if her third person was Jennifer Aniston or Marley the dog.

[1647] Oh, wow.

[1648] My friend Don Roos wrote that movie.

[1649] Oh, it's a very sweet movie.

[1650] It's a great movie.

[1651] I haven't seen it, but I know if Don wrote it, it's great.

[1652] I don't even like dogs and it was sad.

[1653] Yeah.

[1654] It's a cute golden retriever, like a light, like a blonde.

[1655] Lord Retriever?

[1656] Well, don't tell people.

[1657] Boiler alert.

[1658] Yeah.

[1659] It's like from like 2000.

[1660] Yeah, if you haven't seen it yet.

[1661] I do think it's really funny when people like throw up fucking a fit over like something that was like.

[1662] The Supranos.

[1663] Years ago.

[1664] Yeah, exactly.

[1665] It's like, hey, I think the whole world was to wait five years for you to watch this thing.

[1666] Yeah, it's pretty arrogant.

[1667] Yeah, narcissistic.

[1668] Oh, okay.

[1669] Marley Me was 2008.

[1670] Still quite a long time ago.

[1671] Yeah, 14 years.

[1672] Yeah.

[1673] Good Matt.

[1674] Good Christmas.

[1675] So much fast math.

[1676] She asked me to do some fast math.

[1677] Oh, my God.

[1678] Yes.

[1679] Wow.

[1680] Yeah, isn't that great?

[1681] What did you do?

[1682] Fast math.

[1683] I know, but like...

[1684] Oh, well, we were doing like, I get obsessed.

[1685] You know, me a little greedy pig, and I'm a bean counter at heart.

[1686] I'm an accountant at heart.

[1687] And not that accountants are greedy pigs, but I am an accountant at heart.

[1688] So I'm asking her, how many folks come in here, average ticket price, blah, blah, blah, how many tours you do a day, blah, blah.

[1689] I just, I can't help but add up how much they're making a day.

[1690] Yeah.

[1691] And it's outstanding.

[1692] Andy.

[1693] That's like my, that's very my dad.

[1694] He does that too.

[1695] He's very interested in net profit.

[1696] The money element of stuff.

[1697] Like I was home and we were watching Stanley Tucci's show is back on.

[1698] Yep.

[1699] I love that show so much.

[1700] It's great.

[1701] It's so good.

[1702] I haven't seen it either, but I know because it's him and Don Roos wrote marling me. I know they're great.

[1703] Okay, well, I've seen all of season one of Stanley's show loved it.

[1704] Mouth.

[1705] salivating the whole time.

[1706] And then season two just started, premiere.

[1707] So my mom and my dad and I watched it.

[1708] My mom had headphones in.

[1709] She was listening to the trial.

[1710] But my dad and I watched this.

[1711] And there was a whole portion where they're truffle hunters.

[1712] The peggies and the doggies.

[1713] Yeah, exactly.

[1714] So the white truffles, I didn't know this.

[1715] You can't manufacture them.

[1716] You can't grow them.

[1717] You can black truffles.

[1718] as China's doing and then shipping them to the markets in Italy and they don't taste the same.

[1719] Anyways, I saw 60 minutes on that.

[1720] It's crazy.

[1721] But the white truffle you can't do that with so you have to just find them in the earth.

[1722] It's very rare, very limited it is.

[1723] So exclusive.

[1724] And then there was an auction for one.

[1725] It was two pounds.

[1726] A two pound white truce.

[1727] Uh -huh.

[1728] And when the guy brought it in, he dropped it on the floor.

[1729] Oh, wonderful.

[1730] That's all we want.

[1731] He dropped it on the floor, a piece of, fell off.

[1732] Oh, you're kidding.

[1733] No, like a teeny piece or something.

[1734] Oh, not like a half pound of it.

[1735] I want to guess how much that went for.

[1736] A two -pound white truffle, did they convert it for us?

[1737] It was in euros.

[1738] Do you know the price?

[1739] I think I remember.

[1740] I want to say it went for $2 ,300.

[1741] $2 ,300?

[1742] Yeah.

[1743] It was like $180 ,000.

[1744] What?

[1745] Yeah.

[1746] Why?

[1747] Because they're so rare.

[1748] You can make that many meals out of it?

[1749] Maybe it was $100.

[1750] But I think it was 150 or 80, something like that.

[1751] They found a Ferrari in the ground.

[1752] Honest to God.

[1753] And then it fell on the floor.

[1754] What a bozo.

[1755] Poor guy or girl.

[1756] But then my dad was like, how are they doing this?

[1757] Because even if you shave some off and put it on your pasta, that's $2 ,000.

[1758] That's what I'm trying to figure out.

[1759] Yeah, he didn't understand it.

[1760] Okay.

[1761] So when we were at the faint we got, I ate one time at, um, uh, the French long, French laundry, and I think I've already told the story.

[1762] I got like a truffle add -on, and the dude came over to the table, and he was wearing white gloves, and it was in this large mahogany box, and then he opened up the box.

[1763] That's what I'm basing this price on.

[1764] Probably not.

[1765] Black truffle.

[1766] Okay, but he held up one, and it was $2 ,300, and it looked like it had to avoid two pounds.

[1767] So that's where I'm basing it on.

[1768] But anyways, he had white gloves, and it was a lot of it.

[1769] in this beautiful mahogany box.

[1770] And then as he was about to open it, I said, what if he's about to shoot someone for our amusement?

[1771] Like, it's that expensive at the restaurant.

[1772] Like, you could pick a guest.

[1773] But then he shaved it, and he was saying how they come around.

[1774] Like, they come to the restaurant.

[1775] They have different offerings.

[1776] And yeah, each one's individually priced.

[1777] It's a weird world.

[1778] So weird.

[1779] I love that truffle taste, though.

[1780] I do, too.

[1781] We just, like, went down a rabbit hole.

[1782] My dad has very simple tastes, and he's proud of that.

[1783] Like, he was watching, and he was like, ew like to most things he said ew and then he said i'm really glad i don't like expensive foods isn't it funny yeah we're so different well and it's a generational thing which is like when we've talked about it on here before the economy's transitioned so it's like most people just they save money to buy objects yeah and younger generations save money to buy experiences yeah so like yes i would have agreed with your dad before like thank god i don't have this fucking habit I'd blow all my money on eating.

[1784] Yeah.

[1785] But then, of course, I remember this French laundry thing more than I remember whatever dumb thing I bought that year.

[1786] Exactly, yeah.

[1787] You know, I will, you know, there's like brain and stuff.

[1788] There are definitely things on it that's like, ew, for me too, even.

[1789] Sure, brain.

[1790] Testicles?

[1791] Yeah.

[1792] Vovina.

[1793] No one eats vulva.

[1794] Everyone's eating testicles.

[1795] I don't know why.

[1796] Is that part of misogynistic?

[1797] I don't know.

[1798] If you're going to be eating the reproductive parts of a man, I don't know why we're in the ovaries?

[1799] Maybe.

[1800] I was poisoned this week by my own ovaries.

[1801] Oh, sure, with your flies.

[1802] They're on their way, and they're mad.

[1803] Are they coming this Tuesday?

[1804] Yeah, Monday or Tuesday.

[1805] They'll be here Monday or Tuesday.

[1806] They're in a really bad mood.

[1807] They're pissed.

[1808] Yeah.

[1809] Apparently the Vietnamese eat cow vagina.

[1810] Oh, great.

[1811] Vietnamese.

[1812] Leave it to them.

[1813] Rare Vietnamese street food.

[1814] Cooked whole bowl vagina.

[1815] Oh.

[1816] Well, it couldn't be a bowl.

[1817] bowl vagina or a bull of vagina because a bull's a male I don't really want to click this link okay that's probably a good idea it doesn't seem like it's a dot org it's a YouTube .com we don't know and we don't want to perpetuate a notion that Vietnamese are eating cow that's right that's sorry someone had to say it of course it was me pussy platter okay um so you can tune a guitar but you can't tune a fish unfortunately do you think cooking bovine vulva runs the same risk as salmon in your apartment way worse what are you talking about salmon's fine it's fine it wasn't salmon actually that caused that it was sturgeon dover soul no what was it it was a white fish but I don't remember cod ma I would think it was cod it was a nice white fish real flaky real stinky and flaky okay so it's you can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish and it's the seven studio album by Ario Speedwagon.

[1818] Oh, wonderful guys.

[1819] Good job, Ario Speedwagon.

[1820] Do we know what Ario stands for?

[1821] Ransom, Eli, Olds.

[1822] Ransom?

[1823] Rancid or Ransom?

[1824] This was a commercial vehicle in America prior to World War II, REO Speedwagon.

[1825] Oh, okay.

[1826] Ransom, R -A -N -S -O -M, Eli, Olds.

[1827] So the band is after the car.

[1828] I don't know what we learned just now, but I appreciate the learning the acronym.

[1829] The album sold over 2 million copies in the U .S., which allowed it to being certified 2 times platinum.

[1830] 2X platinum.

[1831] It's hard to sell 2 million albums these days.

[1832] It doesn't really happen.

[1833] ELO, do you know that famous band, ELO?

[1834] That's an electrical light orchestra.

[1835] Electric.

[1836] Electric light orchestra.

[1837] Rob didn't even have to look that up.

[1838] He knew it.

[1839] I'm going to verify, but yeah.

[1840] Electric light orchestra.

[1841] Do you know R .E .M. REM, rapid eye movement.

[1842] Yep.

[1843] Good job.

[1844] Okay, this is fun.

[1845] You know the green lamp right there?

[1846] Yes, that Colson liked.

[1847] He loved it.

[1848] We were saying that it's in all these movies, so I have a list.

[1849] Oh, my God.

[1850] It's like people have thought about this, wow.

[1851] Is seven on there?

[1852] Yeah, duh.

[1853] That's the one that, like, is.

[1854] Sets everyone on their voyage?

[1855] Exactly.

[1856] That's weird.

[1857] I wouldn't have, when it was appealing to me so much in that, scene.

[1858] It didn't occur to me that it appealed to everyone.

[1859] You thought you were special.

[1860] I just was so perversely, like, needed it.

[1861] It was weird.

[1862] Well, its frequent appearance in pop culture is in large part related to its history and the belief that the green light it cast is psychologically soothing and comfortable for the eyes.

[1863] This is what made it so popular among bankers, in libraries, courtrooms, and so on.

[1864] And associated with individuals of higher social class.

[1865] Okay.

[1866] Sure.

[1867] So, Ms. President is for you.

[1868] I know.

[1869] Okay.

[1870] Ready.

[1871] There's a lot.

[1872] Silence of the Lambs.

[1873] Frazier.

[1874] Okay, this is TV and movies.

[1875] Okay.

[1876] It's a nice mix.

[1877] Silence of the lambs.

[1878] Frazier.

[1879] Or Fraser, as my mother -in -law would say.

[1880] Fraser is her favorite show.

[1881] She talks about Fraser all the time.

[1882] Did you see the episode of Fraser that, and I'm like, I just, I haven't gotten around to seeing it yet.

[1883] Almost everything reminds her of a Fraser episode, which is adorable.

[1884] That's really cute.

[1885] That's like friends for me. Fienes.

[1886] Fiends.

[1887] Best fiends.

[1888] Patch Adams.

[1889] Whiplash.

[1890] Wonder Woman.

[1891] You know what?

[1892] This is weird.

[1893] I don't understand why.

[1894] It's not in chronological order.

[1895] Yeah.

[1896] Is it like most popular?

[1897] I don't know.

[1898] Okay.

[1899] Silence of the Lamb's 91.

[1900] Patch Adams 98.

[1901] Whiplash 2014.

[1902] You know, whatever.

[1903] Okay.

[1904] Wonder Woman 2017.

[1905] Old boy.

[1906] Do you know that?

[1907] Oh yeah.

[1908] Ding, ding, we talked about that.

[1909] Yeah.

[1910] Oh, yeah.

[1911] With Josh Brolin and great Korean movie.

[1912] Seven.

[1913] It's in red, because it's...

[1914] Of course.

[1915] Another in red, a nightmare on Elm Street.

[1916] I don't remember what I was.

[1917] Batman Begins, Hot Fuzz, James Bond Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.

[1918] Goonies, The Place Beyond the Pines, Jaws, Legally Blonde in Red.

[1919] Ten Things I Hate About You, The Conjuring in Red, Band of Brothers, The Porn Identity in Red.

[1920] Oh, gosh.

[1921] Bronson, the Adventures of Tintin, Sinister, the Nick, Road to Perdition, In Red, Layer Cake, There Will Be Blood, In Red, 30 Rock, Breaking Bad, Law -Abiting Citizen in Red.

[1922] I don't know what that it needs to be in Red.

[1923] Boilerm, Seinfeld, also in Red, Pushing Daisies, White Collar, Brooklyn Nine -Nine, Supernatural, Doctor Who, Friends, JFK.

[1924] So everything that was ever made virtually.

[1925] There's still so many.

[1926] Maybe I should just read the Reds.

[1927] Okay.

[1928] The rest are the Reds only.

[1929] Okay.

[1930] Network.

[1931] Reds only.

[1932] Sleepy Hollow.

[1933] Stand by me. Ellery Queen.

[1934] Dick Tracy, Thomas Crown Affair.

[1935] Oh, Tom Crowny.

[1936] Trading places.

[1937] Clue.

[1938] Star Trek first contact.

[1939] It's always sunny.

[1940] Narcos.

[1941] Goss now.

[1942] Good fellas.

[1943] Few, I'm done.

[1944] Who assembled that?

[1945] I don't know.

[1946] Because it's not rare at all at this point.

[1947] Once you get in that list, you realize, well, it's in.

[1948] But that's the whole point.

[1949] It's actually ubiquitous.

[1950] It's ubiquitous and it's a device.

[1951] That's right.

[1952] Because when he says, it's in all these movies, it is.

[1953] He wasn't lying.

[1954] It's in most movies.

[1955] I think that's maybe safe to say.

[1956] Okay, you said we interviewed a psychiatrist and called it a geographic.

[1957] Yeah.

[1958] I was trying to think and I did some Googling.

[1959] I couldn't find it.

[1960] I think Annalemke might have said a geographic.

[1961] I thought maybe it was from BJ Fogg when he talks about habits.

[1962] there are like certain things people will do to change a habit and one is change locations I don't know I don't know either I don't know if I made it up and if I did it's a cool thing it is cool we can make it a thing yeah yeah oh that's a geographic that's not going to work yeah you said you've never made a movie without throwing up but there wasn't any throwing up in brothers justice or hit and run right um there wasn't chips obviously there was a tonin chips there wasn't the judge did i not throw up a knit and run i could have swore i did i would brush my teeth until like gag i kept that in now because that is really how i brushed my teeth and i was overly proud of the fact that like i left that in yeah i've never been watching a movie and the character was brushing their teeth and they fucking gagged i kind of liked that yeah very real but brothers justice now oh i was too busy with those crotch shots i was more focused on the bouncing testicles back to ding, ding, ding, ding, the food.

[1963] Yeah, that was kind of like your crotch period.

[1964] Yep, that was.

[1965] Then you had a vomit period.

[1966] I guess I moved into teeth brushing period and then vomit.

[1967] Yeah.

[1968] Oh, there's two news stories we have to discuss.

[1969] I didn't know if you wanted to wait.

[1970] No, people will be pulling their hair out.

[1971] Okay.

[1972] One is there's a great article.

[1973] Was it in the New York Times?

[1974] I can look there because this is one, the thing I sent you.

[1975] Yeah, New York Times.

[1976] About two dolphins, they were playing.

[1977] In Bolivia, they were swimming side by side, and they had an anaconda in their mouth, which is already a novel.

[1978] Very rare.

[1979] Incredible thing.

[1980] They didn't know whether they even hunted those.

[1981] They're supposed to be Apex Predator, those anacondas.

[1982] And then also, deeper in the article, it's all about their erect penises.

[1983] They're both so aroused.

[1984] Yeah.

[1985] And then it talked about how they would generally, they tried to have sex with a whales blowhole, like a little whale they got.

[1986] And then they think maybe they were trying to have sex with the fucking anaconda.

[1987] They were rubbing their penises against it.

[1988] And anyways, it just confirmed right in writing in the New York Times.

[1989] They are the pervious creatures out there.

[1990] They are.

[1991] It's wonderful.

[1992] What did you actually comment?

[1993] I took a quote.

[1994] It was something else from the photos was notable.

[1995] The male dolphins erect penises.

[1996] You don't see that often in the New York Times.

[1997] It was great.

[1998] Okay.

[1999] Secondly, and we're hoping to do a little follow -up about this, a guy landed a plane with no training.

[2000] That's right.

[2001] The pilot became incapacitated and a civilian.

[2002] A passenger.

[2003] A civilian, a passenger, a lay person, a dum -dum.

[2004] No, I'm not saying dumb -dum.

[2005] No, obviously not.

[2006] A very skilled person.

[2007] And he, first time ever, behind the yoke, set it down safely.

[2008] So many people were very excited for you.

[2009] Yes, they were.

[2010] I think it ends our debate because the odds that that guy is more mechanically inclined than me, has more driving passions.

[2011] We don't know.

[2012] We don't know him.

[2013] Dax, we don't know him.

[2014] We don't know him yet.

[2015] We don't know them.

[2016] But listen, also I will say, and this is something we haven't thought about in this discussion, most of the accolades are going to the air traffic controller.

[2017] And I understand that.

[2018] Of course, they have to tell you how to land it.

[2019] He did all the work.

[2020] Yes, which I anticipate.

[2021] I don't think I'm going to get behind the yoke of a 727 and figure out how to put it on the ground.

[2022] Okay.

[2023] I know they're going to be talking to me. I didn't know that.

[2024] But I'm saying I'm the best person to talk through that because I don't get, I don't lose my cool and I know about all the stuff.

[2025] Knowing someone's walking you through, I will agree with you.

[2026] Okay.

[2027] Okay, thank you.

[2028] But you just on your own up there with no person walking you through.

[2029] I mean, you want to hear the truth.

[2030] You think you can do it either way.

[2031] I do think I understand it.

[2032] Okay.

[2033] Here's what I think I understand.

[2034] Okay.

[2035] Okay, I've got the yoke in my hands, right?

[2036] You can see that.

[2037] Is that what it's called?

[2038] Yeah, the yoke.

[2039] Okay.

[2040] You know that, and I didn't know that.

[2041] That's right, right?

[2042] And so I've got the yoke in my hand, and if I turn it to the right, it activates the flaps on the opposite wing and it drops it.

[2043] So that's making yourself go.

[2044] Tilty left, tilty right.

[2045] Curvy swervy.

[2046] Curvy suavey suavey.

[2047] If I push in on the yoke, it actually on the maybe aileron, I think it's called the back wing.

[2048] It'll tilt that flap, which will bring the back end up, and it'll send it down.

[2049] So if I push in, it's going to lower.

[2050] If I turn left and right, it's going to tilty, tilty.

[2051] I pull back.

[2052] It's going to put the nose up in the air, right?

[2053] So now what we have on our hands is throttle control.

[2054] That's the last step.

[2055] So what I'm going to do is I'm going to aim it at the runway, tilty, tilty, blah, blah, blah, and I'm going to be pushing in on the yoke, nose diving, nose diving, nose diving.

[2056] I'm also going to be coming off the throttle.

[2057] I'm going to be trying to lose some speed, okay?

[2058] Fultorado is forward.

[2059] I'm pretty positive.

[2060] Like a boat.

[2061] And so if I'm pulling back, as I pull back, I'm going to lose altitude as well.

[2062] Both my point down is going to lose altitude.

[2063] And then when I come off the gas, it's going to lose altitude.

[2064] Less propulsion, less lift.

[2065] And what I'm ideally trying to get to is that point where right when we are about to nose dive and hit the nose on the runway, I know pull back.

[2066] on the yoke, I flatten it out, and then I drop the strength of the motors and it's gonna kill all the lifts.

[2067] So it's gonna be a rough landing.

[2068] We're gonna slam down, but I'm gonna have us close enough to the ground that when we bang down, and then I drop them fucking throttles all the way to the ground, and then I push, I'm pretty sure the foot pedals, I just push as hard as I can, and now I'm on the brakes.

[2069] This is without doing any research.

[2070] I'm sure people will comment on whether or not.

[2071] So I kind of think I could do all those things.

[2072] I might have to circle around a few times Okay You did it on the Star Wars ride I was just about to say that I think ding ding Disneyland There was a ride where you were doing this You were driving Well you and David David was terrible Oh my God I was so sick In that ride I was like get me I had to just close my eyes And just sit That's a rough ride to be a passenger I did not enjoy it When we were planning out who was going to do what.

[2073] I was like, I want Dax to...

[2074] And the part that makes you sick as...

[2075] Yeah.

[2076] So, you know, I did feel like I wanted that to be you.

[2077] Yeah.

[2078] So that's a feather.

[2079] Yeah, thank you.

[2080] Anyways, so I think I could do it.

[2081] Rob and I hated that ride.

[2082] Yeah, it was not great.

[2083] We talk about movies that take place in one day.

[2084] Mm, yeah.

[2085] This is a movie heavy fact check.

[2086] Oh, good.

[2087] Okay, ready?

[2088] Yeah.

[2089] Clerks.

[2090] American Graffiti.

[2091] Oh.

[2092] Groundhog Day.

[2093] Airplane.

[2094] Airplane.

[2095] Exclamation.

[2096] Hold on.

[2097] Groundhog's Day is that's a cheat.

[2098] Is it?

[2099] Yeah.

[2100] Because it resets.

[2101] There's like, he lives like 150 days.

[2102] I know, but it's the same day.

[2103] It is Groundhog's Day.

[2104] You're right.

[2105] Okay.

[2106] You're right.

[2107] Okay.

[2108] Before sunrise slash before sunset.

[2109] Correct.

[2110] Link later movie?

[2111] Yes.

[2112] Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

[2113] Wonderful.

[2114] Oh.

[2115] Classic.

[2116] Seminal one day movie.

[2117] Mm -hmm.

[2118] Night of the Living Dead.

[2119] Dr. Strangelove.

[2120] Do the right thing.

[2121] Spike.

[2122] Magnolia.

[2123] Oh, baby.

[2124] I like it.

[2125] That was a shorter list than my last one.

[2126] There were no Reds.

[2127] Okay, yeah.

[2128] Much more manageable.

[2129] Yeah.

[2130] Only the hits there.

[2131] Oh, my God.

[2132] For a second, I was like, what the hell?

[2133] But look.

[2134] Was that all stills from...

[2135] Oh, you know what?

[2136] Fuck.

[2137] The Reds are probably YouTube videos.

[2138] Oh, where you could have looked at the lamps.

[2139] Ooh, do you want to see the lamps from Seven?

[2140] Mm -hmm.

[2141] This would be so good.

[2142] I know, makes me want to watch it again.

[2143] Listen to the sound design.

[2144] So ominous.

[2145] I want to check it out, Milton.

[2146] Look at those green lamps.

[2147] That's the high water mark for the green lamp thing.

[2148] Because one was in the, right in the, right prominent in the frame.

[2149] Oh, it's everywhere.

[2150] Oh, we love it.

[2151] Let me hear him talk once, because I sometimes think I can do him.

[2152] I never understand.

[2153] No, his is deep, like it's...

[2154] What do you do?

[2155] I can't do him.

[2156] I thought I could, but...

[2157] And I can't.

[2158] It's a little...

[2159] It's just more a cadence.

[2160] I can't do it.

[2161] Well, there's a reason, right?

[2162] There's a reason his voice is the most.

[2163] Making trillions.

[2164] Uh -huh.

[2165] Yeah, best narrator in the business.

[2166] Shawshank.

[2167] What a narration.

[2168] God, good movie.

[2169] Happened in a day.

[2170] No, I didn't.

[2171] No. Over the course of a lifetime, I think.

[2172] Ooh, born identity.

[2173] I just want to see where it is.

[2174] Yeah, let's just see if his shirt's on him.

[2175] He looks so young.

[2176] I put a lot of head on these clips Like Long time before the lamps Exactly Oh I see it Oh one two Yeah that was it Oh wow Someone really went through that one With a fine tooth comb Well I don't know Maybe there's more Because this is a long scene But we saw it You better throw someone Through a big rack of those lamps No the whole point is it's like Discreet It's a device That's it For facts in general Yeah Oh wow What did you think of machine gun Kelly Loved And I will be honest that I had preconceived notions I did I went in feeling because I did a little research on him yeah and I was like I mean to be honest this is going to sound horrible I don't want it to be true but I was kind of like can't I can't people just get it together a little bit like sure I know life is hard but like ah and then of course as soon as we sit down like oh this nice sweet boy yeah and it's so unfair what do you think under that because like i have a guess of mine yeah the initial knee jerk because i totally relate and i think i have a theory on why but why like initially just like come on you just get your shit together like where do you think what do you think's under that It's this angstiness that's put out that I am like, oh, just can't you can't, can't it be easy?

[2177] Can't it just be easy?

[2178] Yeah.

[2179] And the truth, this answer is no for some people.

[2180] For me, a lot of it, I think the knee jerk is like, which is crazy.

[2181] Because I don't have it much anymore, but I used to for sure.

[2182] Part of the knee jerk for me is like, you're rich and famous.

[2183] How fucking bad can it be?

[2184] Like that's probably the foundation.

[2185] No, I don't have that.

[2186] You don't have that.

[2187] It's more just like, I can see that life is so difficult.

[2188] And in my head, I'm like, it doesn't have to be.

[2189] Yeah.

[2190] It just doesn't have to be.

[2191] It can be easier.

[2192] Right.

[2193] But that's wrong.

[2194] I'm wrong about that.

[2195] Or for you, it can be.

[2196] Well, that's what I mean.

[2197] Everyone's so different.

[2198] And it's amazing the things that people are doing despite their backgrounds.

[2199] Well, that's what's funny.

[2200] Yeah.

[2201] I guess, like, if you could see somebody in their total.

[2202] Just by glancing at them what's probably more accurate about him like so if you don't know anything about him and you just look at the thing.

[2203] It's like dude, why are he such a fuck up?

[2204] If you see the totality, you actually would probably go like it's amazing that he can be.

[2205] It's a miracle.

[2206] Yeah.

[2207] Functional and productive and creative and all these things.

[2208] I agree.

[2209] Is more amazing really.

[2210] Yeah.

[2211] For me actually the piece that I read that really made me just like was him.

[2212] being like a self -proclaimed anarchist.

[2213] Oh, right, right, right.

[2214] I read that and I was like, no, no, no, it doesn't have to be that.

[2215] Like, everything doesn't have to be a struggle.

[2216] But again, when life is a struggle or when you're used to life being a struggle, of course.

[2217] I also really think anarchists, that's like a symptom of youth generally.

[2218] And I think when you're young, you feel most separated from the system.

[2219] The system seems so obscure and impenetrable.

[2220] You feel a powerlessness of like, I'll never have any say over how this place is.

[2221] And in some way, I feel excluded from it.

[2222] So I'd be happier if the whole fucking thing collapsed.

[2223] Yeah, but I think that comes from people who desperately need to feel powerful.

[2224] and that's due to not having any and feeling trapped in that.

[2225] Like, I don't have that because I didn't feel like I have no problem with the system.

[2226] Right.

[2227] The system has helped me. But I, of course, understand.

[2228] That's how I felt, I think I told you, I don't even know if I said it publicly because I'm always, I try to be supportive of everyone's movies.

[2229] And it's a great movie.

[2230] But I just wasn't at an age where I could be excited about it, which was The Joker.

[2231] oh yeah it's just like it's so misanthropic it's so life is so terrible it's so who gives the fuck blow everything up like and i i just was watching i was like i definitely would have loved this movie in my 20s yeah because i felt like oh god i'm never going to succeed in this crazy system like i'm going to be one of the ones left out and then i just was realizing like oh this whole thing no longer appeals to me yeah that movie was scary yeah it's dark dark dark dark so dark But ding, ding, ding for an upcoming guest.

[2232] Ah, Easter egg.

[2233] Oh, right, right, right, right.

[2234] Anyway, so, no, I loved him.

[2235] I adored him.

[2236] I thought he's a very special person.

[2237] And I did a complete 180.

[2238] He's one of these guys that came up on an episode with a great guest that's coming up, like a titan of the financial sector.

[2239] And we were talking about, like, what the last part of your life is.

[2240] If you've already kind of accomplished things in life, you wanted to, and the thrill of that's maybe over like what's left for you and I was saying well I kind of am loving the idea of maybe like being a mentor to boys who would want me as a mentor and this was and I referenced and when you hear that episode maybe you'll you'll be like who was he talking about but this was one of them I was like I would be endlessly available to Colson yeah I think you would be good for him I love you I love you follow armchair expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[2241] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

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