#172 - Bryan Callen

[0] What is that weird effect that you always do at the end of that where you make it all wonky?

[1] I don't know.

[2] Why do you do that?

[3] I'm taking drum lessons and I was trying to play that riff.

[4] Yeah!

[5] Dudes that would play drums at a diner, you know, and be, like, serious about it.

[6] How about the guy that would bring his drumsticks places?

[7] The greatest.

[8] You know?

[9] And stick them in his back pocket with a bandana.

[10] Brody Stevens.

[11] Just play with his drumsticks.

[12] I just got drumming in my blood.

[13] Well, Brody would do it, but on stage.

[14] Brody's a really good drummer.

[15] He is.

[16] But he'd carry those sticks around all the time.

[17] Part of his act, yeah.

[18] Brody would get up on stage and have chairs, put chairs up there, and do, like, a fucking drum show.

[19] I've been in the band.

[20] I'm in.

[21] You know that.

[22] I'm an honorary.

[23] member of Don Barris' air band.

[24] Well, I didn't know that there was a whole Don Barris air band.

[25] It's called the Barris Kennedy Overdrive, first of all.

[26] Second of all, I play 32 different air instruments, one of which is the baby.

[27] I take a baby out and I blow on its stomach and then I throw it into the audience.

[28] That's one of the things I do.

[29] I play the harp.

[30] I play the cello.

[31] I play the violin.

[32] And I play the 13 -year -old Filipino boy.

[33] And that's when I sodomize him.

[34] What?

[35] No, he's 17.

[36] 13 is a...

[37] That's not right.

[38] It's 17, which is legal in some states.

[39] And I mock, sodomize a 17 -year -old Filipino boy as he screams, that's part of the music.

[40] So they all play drums.

[41] What the fuck is this?

[42] Oh, dude, at 2 o 'clock in Comedy Store, Don Barris, he's the last guy to perform every single time, and he has the Barris -Kennedy overdrive.

[43] And they play music, and he has an air band up there.

[44] He lip -syncs.

[45] Brody plays the drums.

[46] And then he's got various guitarists.

[47] Tony Hinchcliffe.

[48] Yep.

[49] And then I, when I'm there, I get up and I'm a guest performer.

[50] And I start with the guitar.

[51] And I'm also a guest singer.

[52] And then we play like five, six songs.

[53] And it's all air instruments.

[54] But I have my own air instruments.

[55] I play humans and I play.

[56] Fucking, you know, things that most people don't.

[57] Don't you have a job?

[58] Yes, I do.

[59] Yes, I do.

[60] My girl was really happy when I come home at 3 in the morning.

[61] She's like, what the fuck are you doing?

[62] I'm like, the band was playing late.

[63] She's like, you're in your 40s, you fucking loser.

[64] Get away from me. I always feel like that after watching that, too.

[65] Just watching it.

[66] Like, I'll go there and be like, why am I here at 2 a .m. watching an air band at the comedy store?

[67] It's always like seven alcoholics in my four comics.

[68] And we play like we're playing for...

[69] Is it entertaining?

[70] Yeah.

[71] For me. For me. It's really fun to watch.

[72] Don Barris is so hilarious.

[73] I'm going to get him to do it at the Death Squad soon.

[74] Don Barris is one of the funniest people in the world nobody knows.

[75] That dude kills me. He's a great personality too.

[76] He's great.

[77] I always enjoyed hanging out with Don Barris.

[78] We do a sketch every single time we see each other.

[79] Every single time.

[80] Yeah, he's one of those guys.

[81] Every time.

[82] You can just start something up with him and he would just go with it.

[83] He'll be talking.

[84] There's all these people and I go by and I go...

[85] Hey, Don, I don't want to embarrass you in front of everybody, but I need my money.

[86] I need my money.

[87] And he'd go, what?

[88] I'd go, look, man, I'm sorry, but it's been a month now.

[89] I really need to see my money.

[90] He owe me 10 grand.

[91] He goes, you embarrass me in front of all my friends like this?

[92] I go, look, I don't want any trouble.

[93] He goes, what the fuck over here?

[94] And he slaps me on my knees, and then he mock mouth rapes me. And then I beg him as he's doing it.

[95] I'm going, don't go in my mouth.

[96] Don't go in my mouth.

[97] He's like, hey, shut the fuck up.

[98] He didn't take it.

[99] And I'm like, no, no, no. How close are you getting mouth to his dick?

[100] I'm right up against his dick.

[101] Get the fuck out of here.

[102] It's all about the fucking sketch.

[103] Oh my God.

[104] Your mouth is on his dick.

[105] Get the fuck out of here.

[106] And then he dumps in my, he mock dumps in my mouth and then he pushes me away and I lie there in the fetal position and everybody around us doesn't know what the fuck just happened and he just kind of pretends to zip his pants up and he goes, sorry about that and goes back to his conversation.

[107] Has he ever gotten a little hard?

[108] Not that I know of, but then it's all a blur for me. So what do I do?

[109] I just commit to the sketch.

[110] How many times have you done a sketch?

[111] Mm -mm.

[112] No more than 50, 60 times, to be honest.

[113] I like to limit myself.

[114] No more than 50.

[115] Every single time I see him.

[116] Every time you see him.

[117] So every time you see him, you've run up to him and shoved your mouth on his couch.

[118] No, every time I see him, I go, I just ask for my fucking money that he owes me my 10 grand.

[119] Oh, there's different results.

[120] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[121] Oh, I see, I see.

[122] And then first he'll either beat me up and then fuck my mouth.

[123] And then I beg him not to drop a nut.

[124] Oh, my God.

[125] And you know, he's so committed and it looks so real.

[126] Jesus.

[127] think something like that is going on is i'm begging how many times has your mouth touched his dick dude no more than i mean this is a stupid question i look i'm a straight man maybe 30 times 40 times i don't know what the fuck why i'm being grilled i'll get some video why do i have to be you got to get video on it yeah i want to slow it down because people think we're serious because i go i go i act like i'm a little afraid of him already i'm like don i don't want to bother you but you know i need my ten thousand dollars it's been a month he goes he's like What'd you say?

[128] I go, I need my money.

[129] He goes, are you going to embarrass me in front of all my friends like this?

[130] I go, no, I'm not trying to embarrass you.

[131] I just need, I really need the money.

[132] I'm having trouble paying my rent.

[133] And he goes, yeah, do you say?

[134] Get the fuck out of here.

[135] And he pushes me away.

[136] And then I come back and ask him a second time.

[137] Sometimes we'll do it that way.

[138] And then he's just fucking had it.

[139] And he just slaps me to my knees and mouth rakes me. I'm a grown man, ladies and gentlemen.

[140] That's right.

[141] What the fuck, man?

[142] How did I not know this about you?

[143] It's called comedy.

[144] How did I not know this about you, though?

[145] Dude, he's so much fun to do bits with.

[146] How long?

[147] Was this all comedy store stuff?

[148] All comedy store shit.

[149] Yeah.

[150] When did you start doing this?

[151] How many years ago?

[152] Like four.

[153] Yeah, that's when I stopped going there.

[154] Yeah.

[155] This is all.

[156] This is post me at the comedy store.

[157] That's all we do, dude.

[158] That's all we ever did there.

[159] Have you ever had a man's finger in your asshole?

[160] No, I haven't.

[161] I have had a man's thumb in my asshole, and I think I told that story last time I was on a broken podcast.

[162] Yeah, you don't remember?

[163] Yeah, I thought that I was just...

[164] The Jimmy Burke story.

[165] Yeah, it was a thumb.

[166] Yeah, he told that story.

[167] Made out with a tranny and had a...

[168] Is he reading this off Twitter?

[169] No, no, I'm not.

[170] I'm looking.

[171] Look what I'm looking at.

[172] I'm just spaced out.

[173] I was like, wait, was he the one that got...

[174] Yes, yes.

[175] Sorry, I do a lot of podcasts.

[176] There was a bunch of other stories as well.

[177] He was also the same guy.

[178] Every time you come here, you bring us a new story.

[179] A new story that involves gay shit.

[180] By the way, forget all the gay stuff.

[181] Are you aware of where...

[182] That was simple.

[183] Guys, let's drop the gay shit.

[184] Listen, guys, nobody cares about that.

[185] It's getting personal.

[186] I don't want to talk about how many times my mouth's bounced off.

[187] 30, 40, whatever.

[188] All of a sudden, you guys are a bunch of purists.

[189] I'm offering up this information.

[190] It's not like I'm trying to hide it.

[191] You suck 40 cocks and now you're gay.

[192] I don't think it's anything.

[193] Whatever.

[194] You are aware, I hope you are aware, I don't know if you watched the Nat Geo thing called Great White Invasion, I believe it's called.

[195] You know that the Santa Monica Pier, the Santa Monica Pier has a large concentration of great whites swimming between the pylons.

[196] You aware of that?

[197] What?

[198] Oh!

[199] Oh, you didn't know that.

[200] What a good way to get us off the gay subject.

[201] Yeah.

[202] Give me some scary animals.

[203] My two favorite topics.

[204] They got missiles pointed right at them, bro.

[205] My two favorite topics are dudes getting tricked into blowing guys and animals that can kill you.

[206] That's me all day.

[207] So how many are we talking about?

[208] How many sharks?

[209] Well, at one point they were tagging them and what they found was they would follow them after they would tag them and they were all coming.

[210] Into four and five foot deep water at the Santa Monica Pier.

[211] That's crazy.

[212] And all around there where some of the largest concentration of great whites at any given time can be.

[213] How about that?

[214] Now, now.

[215] Largest concentration of great whites in the country?

[216] Just watch.

[217] Or in the world?

[218] It can't be in the world, right?

[219] I think it's called great white invasion, okay?

[220] They don't know why they're coming so close to the shore, but shark ecologists think that's a good sign.

[221] What?

[222] Seems like a slaughterhouse for homeless people.

[223] Dude, they stalk seals.

[224] what's fucking incredible okay there are great whites and if you take a helicopter ride over malibu there's there you can youtube it right now just go great white malibu and you'll see a helicopter you're shooting a website thing and there was a like an 18 footer just swimming around yeah just about you know i don't know uh a quarter less than it was probably uh an eighth of a mile offshore you know let's call it 300 yards offshore That shit happens all day.

[225] And by the way, they are eating seals all the time.

[226] Surfers are always in the water.

[227] They know you're in the water, and they don't fucking bite you because it's got to be the perfect storm.

[228] Oh, Jesus.

[229] What the fuck ever.

[230] Whatever, it's got to be the perfect storm.

[231] Exactly.

[232] It's called an 18 -foot fish that takes 100 -pound bites.

[233] The one that freaked me out the most.

[234] I go into the water up to my ankle.

[235] That's what I do.

[236] My feet stay white.

[237] My body's bronze.

[238] I went in Hawaii last summer, and I freaked out a little bit.

[239] in there.

[240] I was snorkeling.

[241] And I was like, what am I doing?

[242] I'm going to be one of my own jokes.

[243] I'm going to get eaten by something.

[244] It's fucking stupid.

[245] I was down in West Palm Beach and I was staying at this place called the Amfi, this great, really great resort.

[246] And I asked one of the guys, he was parasailing.

[247] And I go, And I go, any sharks out there?

[248] And he goes, oh, yeah, dude.

[249] He goes, oh, yeah.

[250] Oh, no, there are times, certain times of the year, they put flags, purple flags.

[251] You can't swim because the bull sharks, they're all migrating this way.

[252] And then you got the spinners, and they'll bite your hand and feet.

[253] I was like, what?

[254] What are you talking about?

[255] He goes, oh, yeah, dude, they're all over the place.

[256] He goes, I don't know why people swim in this water.

[257] They're crazy because I'm always kite surfing, and I stay on my kite surf, dude.

[258] Meanwhile, check out how many shark attacks have been in Palm Beach.

[259] There was one.

[260] summer there were like eight shark attacks yeah like biting your leg off bull sharks well the bull sharks are so crazy they'll go way way inshore they'll go into fresh water that's exactly they can survive 200 miles 200 miles up the mississippi yeah they found them near illinois yeah in fresh water fucking sharks man well you know you know the story that inspired jaws That was based on a river attack in New Jersey.

[261] It was based on one summer where these bull sharks were jacking people on a river.

[262] It wasn't a great white.

[263] They went great white for Hollywood when Peter eventually turned it into a...

[264] But I'm pretty sure that's what he was inspired by.

[265] I remember it was like this aberration where they were being, you know.

[266] They found them way far upriver, man. There was one of those Monster Quest shows where they had freshwater sharks.

[267] One of them was the reality.

[268] That was a fun fucking show, even though they never found any monsters.

[269] Well, that's the point of that show.

[270] They got me every week.

[271] Even piranhas.

[272] Piranhas don't eat you.

[273] I always thought if you jumped in the water with piranhas, you got eaten.

[274] If you're living, they swim away from you.

[275] They don't eat you.

[276] The only time a piranha will actually eat you is when they're starving in little mud pools and you put your hand in there and they haven't eaten.

[277] They've eaten everything else there and they're starving.

[278] They'll bite your hand.

[279] Or if you look sick, they'll eat each other.

[280] Actually, they even put a duck in there, a live duck with a bunch of piranhas.

[281] Piranhas swam away.

[282] You know I used to have piranhas.

[283] Yeah.

[284] Yeah, don't listen to that nonsense.

[285] Let me tell you something.

[286] I remember that.

[287] They'll eat anything.

[288] It was called Death Row.

[289] Those fucking monsters.

[290] You had the goldfish on the other side and you called it Death Row.

[291] Yeah, that's Death Row.

[292] I had two tanks.

[293] I had a tank filled with piranhas and then a tank filled with goldfish.

[294] And they had to swim around.

[295] The goldfish would just swim looking at what they were going to be.

[296] Their future.

[297] Yeah, their future.

[298] They would fuck those goldfish up.

[299] It was wild to see, man. Yeah, they'll eat fish, I guess.

[300] Really wild to see.

[301] They don't just eat fish, bro.

[302] They'll eat anything.

[303] There's videos of them.

[304] I never fed them anything other than goldfish.

[305] I mean, that's just what they're natural.

[306] It's natural for them to eat fish.

[307] But I got tired of it.

[308] It's too creepy.

[309] I mean, it's like it is a part of the food chain and everything, and it's life, and it's natural, and it's just the way it works out in the wild.

[310] I mean, animals eat animals, and that's just the way it goes.

[311] But there's something about just watching this slaughter every couple days in my house.

[312] You got to look fucking morose, man. I fucking had a Burmese python and I used to have a feed at rats.

[313] Really?

[314] You have to stun the rats.

[315] You take them by the tail and you throw them against the wall.

[316] Oh, dude.

[317] I just felt bad after a while.

[318] I was like, I got to kill this great...

[319] You know, rats are kind of cool.

[320] Yeah.

[321] Because you can't just let it in there otherwise the rat will fight back, right?

[322] Yeah, and then sometimes the snake gets bit.

[323] But here's the other thing.

[324] Here's the other thing.

[325] Snakes are fucking boring.

[326] Okay?

[327] How about that?

[328] They just sit there and I guess they slither.

[329] They're creeps.

[330] I'd rather have a rat than a snake.

[331] Burmese pythons are fucking mean.

[332] My mind got to be...

[333] feet long and the thing was like it would try to bite you every time you stick your hand in there i was like keep this fucking thing yeah those those are creeps those are monsters man they're monsters that get used to you touching them They don't give a fuck about you.

[334] It's called a reptile.

[335] Yeah, they never give a fuck about you.

[336] No, they don't give a fuck about you.

[337] Yeah, people are weird, man, with their connections, reptiles.

[338] Hey, you know that?

[339] How about that guy who swims with, he's got a Costa Rican crocodile 17 feet long and raised it from a baby and swims with it.

[340] I've seen that crazy as well.

[341] That's the craziest shit in the world I've ever seen.

[342] It's nuts.

[343] That's a fucking Costa Rican crocodile.

[344] A giant one.

[345] 17 feet and he swims with it.

[346] Those are salt water crocodiles, right?

[347] Yeah.

[348] Those are the big ones.

[349] Those are the brackish water.

[350] They will eat you.

[351] Jesus fucking Christ.

[352] Now, I don't believe he could do that.

[353] Costa Rican crocodile.

[354] crocodiles and i've done the research they are they are way more timid than most crocodiles a nile crocodile you couldn't do it with there's no fucking way because they will you are as tasty to a nile crocodile as any food source they have costa rica is so beautiful even the crocodiles are chill that's hilarious exactly what it is that's not they're actually a little shy they're shy crocodiles yeah What the fuck?

[355] Whereas good luck with a fucking Nile crocodile.

[356] Good luck raising that thing.

[357] It's amazing that there's animals like that that essentially serve.

[358] I mean, they must have survived that big asteroid impact that killed the dinosaurs.

[359] The Yucatan one.

[360] They must have.

[361] They had to have.

[362] They are dinosaurs.

[363] They're older than that, right?

[364] They're virtually unchanged for more than 100 million years.

[365] When they found that, they found this one skeleton of this huge crocodile where the skull itself was six feet long.

[366] Yeah, I heard about that one.

[367] It was basically, if you look at the anatomy of the animal, it was no different than a real crocodile.

[368] Just a giant one.

[369] Back then, animals were huge that it had to eat, too.

[370] Yeah, an ambush predator.

[371] Well, the zoologist.

[372] I just did a radio show.

[373] was on on the show in uh in uh fucking fort lauderdale right and the guy's been to africa 35 times documentary filmmaker and he said uh he goes dude i was in rwanda and i watched a giraffe drinking and a croc come out grabbed that giraffe by the head pull it into the fucking water, drown it, and twist its head off.

[374] And then its friends came in and ate the rest of that fucking giraffe.

[375] So nobody's safe, okay?

[376] And by the way, you know what else ain't safe?

[377] Baby elephants.

[378] When they stick their tusk in the water, they grab that, I mean, their trunk, they'll grab that trunk and drown it, okay?

[379] They'll eat elephants.

[380] Whatever's in the fucking water.

[381] Jesus Christ.

[382] Oh, and by the way, did I mention that the ones in Tanzania weigh in at over 2 ,000 pounds?

[383] I got a, there's a video that it's one of those iconic ones where one crocodile jumps out of this water hole and grabs, it was a big animal.

[384] I think it was a water buffalo or a wildebeest, probably a wildebeest.

[385] Yeah, well they're 350 pound wildebeest, they grab them around the fucking midsection.

[386] And whip this thing around like it was a children's toy.

[387] You go, you get caught, you're brought under the water, that's it.

[388] And it happens in a flash.

[389] That's just a part of the world that's going on in the same time as us.

[390] That's going on right now.

[391] I mean, we're just not there.

[392] That's right.

[393] There's a spot where if you step in the water in the wrong spot, a monster that lived 100 million years ago is going to eat you.

[394] As I get older, all I think about is different realities of how some people live your fucking worst nightmare and somehow I'm lucky.

[395] I never lose perspective of that shit.

[396] Look at history.

[397] Look at history.

[398] history.

[399] You know, the fact that we live in a society where I don't have to worry about a Mongol horde coming over that hill.

[400] Not yet.

[401] Killing everybody I know.

[402] Not yet, but long as Obama's in office, I'll tell you what.

[403] You gotta stock up.

[404] Stock up on your lap.

[405] We're gonna get down so pussified.

[406] We ain't gonna nobody have guns no more.

[407] They're gonna make it hard to have guns.

[408] Then they're gonna take over.

[409] By the way, did you hear about this?

[410] I'm sorry, go ahead.

[411] I was gonna ask you if you know how big a blue whale's tongue is.

[412] It's fucking huge.

[413] It's the size of an elephant.

[414] God damn.

[415] What about his dick?

[416] A blue whale's tongue.

[417] His heart's the size of a car.

[418] His dick is giganti.

[419] I wonder how big his dick is.

[420] His pictures, they're enormous.

[421] His pictures are hoisting a whale.

[422] Well, they're 95 feet long and they weigh 200 tons, I believe.

[423] Jeez.

[424] I can't wait for the documentary of the guy that fucks whale cock and dies from it.

[425] Yeah, it's probably a guy.

[426] What were you saying?

[427] What were you going to ask me?

[428] I don't remember that.

[429] He said, were you going to tell me?

[430] Oh, the Obama thing.

[431] The NDAA that just passed.

[432] They just signed it on New Year's Eve.

[433] He signed it.

[434] What is the NDAA?

[435] That was the bill that makes essentially...

[436] It makes America a battleground, officially classifies it as a battleground so the military can come in and stop civil unrest.

[437] And they can detain people indefinitely.

[438] They don't have to have warrants anymore.

[439] That kind of thing won't get through the Senate.

[440] It got through.

[441] Obama just signed it.

[442] It got through everything.

[443] It's done.

[444] Touchdown.

[445] It's terrifying.

[446] It's terrifying.

[447] First of all, the use of military is supposed to be strictly prohibited.

[448] We don't want to ever consider that our people are the enemy.

[449] That's ridiculous.

[450] That's the de facto difference between the FBI and the CIA.

[451] The FBI deals with domestic issues.

[452] The CIA is supposed to deal with foreign issues.

[453] And by the way, you're never allowed to spy on your own citizens.

[454] There's a very, very specific reason for that very strong separation between a foreign power service, a foreign service, and a foreign power service.

[455] a domestic service.

[456] Yeah, when you get to the point where you're just automatically opening up to the idea that you can't trust anybody, that everybody must be able to be scanned and stopped and searched.

[457] Well, we were talking...

[458] before the podcast of a book that I'm reading now, and I've read some of his other books.

[459] Leon Uris is considered one of the great writers.

[460] Leon Uris?

[461] What's his first name?

[462] U -R -I -S.

[463] And Leon Uris writes historical novels.

[464] And if you ever want to learn history, you know, whenever you say to somebody, well, you should learn the history of Ireland, the problem with that is that how do you, you know, a lot of young people, I get like texts after I do these things or tweets and they say, hey, can you give me a reading list or whatever?

[465] And the problem with educating yourself today is it's very, hard to know what to read it's also very hard if i say well you should educate yourself on history what does that mean do i pick up a book on history i mean jesus who wants to sit slog through that no If you want to learn about history, if you want to learn about a history of the Middle East, you want to learn a history of Ireland, you want to learn a history of the founding of the State of Israel, which I'm reading now, a book called Exodus.

[466] If you want to learn about Ireland, read a book called Trinity.

[467] If you want to learn about the Arab world, the Middle East, read the Hajj.

[468] Leon Uris is a guy who was a foreign correspondent who spent a great deal of time all over the world and happens to be a fucking brilliant writer.

[469] He wrote most of his books in the 70s and the 80s, and I think even the 60s, but he's considered a...

[470] great writer.

[471] And the point I'm making is that when you talk about how a society and its laws and its government can sneak up on you, if you read Exodus about what happened to the Jews in Poland and in Germany, you're talking about a group of people who lived there for 700 years.

[472] And many of them were very well established in all fields, whether it was science, academia, the arts, and things like that.

[473] So when all this anti -Semitic behavior started occurring under Hitler's regime, and it started really in like 33, where stores were being broken in, articles were being read about blaming the Jews for everything, people were being dragged out in the street and beaten up.

[474] The majority of the Jewish people who were established in those societies were like, look, I go back generations.

[475] I'm a German.

[476] I'm as much a Jew as I am a German.

[477] And by the way, I've written...

[478] several books and my roots are in this society.

[479] If you ever told any of them that, well, your government's going to come round up all of you, all of you, and I'm going to give you some numbers in a second, and they're going to kill everybody you know, and worse, they're going to gas, torture, and starve them all.

[480] in a systematic way in concentration camps.

[481] That was a true apocalypse.

[482] And if you don't know anything about the Holocaust or World War II, then you're remiss because it's the worst event in recorded history, but it's also very important to study because...

[483] You don't understand and can't fathom the depth of human evil until you see that.

[484] Because here's what it was.

[485] It wasn't madmen.

[486] It was very rational, cool -minded men with shaved cheeks who sat in a room dressed in medals and in suits who came up with something called the final solution, which was to kill every single Jew in the world.

[487] And they almost did it.

[488] And in Poland alone, out of 3 .1 million Jews who'd been there for 700 years, mostly in ghettos, but who had deep roots and huge contributions to that society and Germany, at the end of World War II, and this is just five, six years, there were 50 ,000 left, all of whom were wretches, all of whom were starving, all of whom were coming out of the concentration camps like Birkenau, Auschwitz.

[489] Treblinka and all these things.

[490] So if you really think that you're safe or if you really think that giving anybody power over you is a good idea, you're fucking wrong and you should pick up a history book.

[491] And what makes this country...

[492] Very, very special.

[493] And what makes this country and what you have to fight for is government by the people, for the people.

[494] And that's very easy to forget.

[495] And even George Washington said, you've got to be careful because people will invent laws to take their own power away from them.

[496] That's what George Washington said.

[497] And it is very human.

[498] And if you look at anybody in power, I don't care if it's Republican or Democrat.

[499] This is why I'm a Ron Paul supporter, because if you look at anybody in power, When you're in power, you have an impulse to try to solve a problem.

[500] You want to solve a problem.

[501] And the only way to do that, government does what?

[502] It passes laws and it grows and it taxes.

[503] Taxing and passing laws are two coercive measures.

[504] That's what they do.

[505] And you do need some laws.

[506] You do need some taxation.

[507] Let's be honest.

[508] But when you have a central authority like that, the big question for anyone is who is going to govern the governor?

[509] Who is watching the governor?

[510] That's the central question of political science.

[511] Who is going to?

[512] Because it has to be.

[513] You can't have someone be on reproach.

[514] And the answer is who?

[515] The people.

[516] That's the answer.

[517] And they're choking that out on a daily basis, choking that out slowly.

[518] This is the biggest enemy, and you have to be on guard of that all the time.

[519] And by the way, it always is under good auspices.

[520] It's always any society.

[521] My God, even the Nazis, for God's sake, even the Nazis, that monstrous machine, defined what they were doing along what they would consider moral grounds.

[522] Hitler was trying to, quote -unquote, solve the Jewish.

[523] problem, etc. And the propaganda that had Ukrainians and Poles cheering on those firing squads as they were killing Jews, that's what happens.

[524] You can poison an entire mindset.

[525] It's amazing that it's within our grasp historically.

[526] We can see things.

[527] We can have photos and video because things like this have happened.

[528] And they're worse than you can imagine.

[529] As you read Exodus, and I studied Nazi Germany.

[530] It was my area of focus in college.

[531] But if you read that book, and he brings it down to such a personal level, it is the unthinkable, and it's the unspeakable.

[532] And it's almost like it was the first event of that magnitude, a horrific event of that magnitude, where, you know...

[533] Air travel had just become like a sort of a big player in the way the world functioned.

[534] Because people could fly over you and drop shit on you.

[535] Things changed very quickly.

[536] They accelerated very quickly.

[537] And it's just amazing that it's all within.

[538] our capability of recording it and watching it.

[539] That's right.

[540] But here's the big difference too.

[541] Back then, nobody was watching it.

[542] Nobody was seeing what was going on in the Russian countryside.

[543] Hitler said, I want to make part of the Russian countryside habitable for Germans.

[544] And so what he said is, we have to just get rid of all the Bolsheviks.

[545] Let's just kill everybody who's there.

[546] Just empty the villages of people.

[547] So what they would do is they would have these soldiers.

[548] come in, and they would dig these huge mass pits and shoot everybody into the pits.

[549] That's how bad it was.

[550] And so at the end of World War II, there were 50 million people dead.

[551] How do you get that many people to do that?

[552] How does that happen?

[553] That's a very good question.

[554] Let me put it this way.

[555] And I believe these are the numbers.

[556] By 1943 in Birken...

[557] Birkenau, which was about a mile away from Auschwitz.

[558] So it's I'm saying Auschwitz and Auschwitz, let's call it Auschwitz.

[559] They were probably killing close to 40 ,000 people a day.

[560] And the way they would do it is this what they found was that when they brought people in, and there was this at a peak Is this a constant steady stream for a long time?

[561] Yes, yes.

[562] That's why they were able to kill six million Jews.

[563] And look, let me explain something to you.

[564] And it's important to fathom those numbers for a second because they're overwhelming.

[565] Just the idea of a factory for killing a certain type of people.

[566] And these are children, and these are women, and these are infants, and they all had names, and they all had families, and they all had connections, and they were all as human as you and I. And it's very natural for us to kind of say, well, that was a long time ago, and they may have looked at life differently.

[567] No. They had all the same dreams.

[568] They had all the same hopes.

[569] They had all the same love.

[570] They had all the same bonds.

[571] And it's overwhelming and too much for your heart to bear if you really think about what human beings have done to other human beings, especially the Holocaust.

[572] It's why the Holocaust, that word, that word the Holocaust, which I believe means the great fire or a derivation of that, that's why that word is used only for that.

[573] specific event in history because they did get burned they did get put in ovens and they did get that their all trace of them was washed away because as the russians and the americans closed in on those camps they had to get rid of all the evidence so they blew up all those gas chambers they they burned the bodies they crushed the skulls and they would use other jews to do it they would make you do it so you'd be 14 unloading bodies out of a fucking think about this i mean it's as crazy as it gets right it's as worse and depraved as it as it possibly gets but the The way you get people to go about it is two things.

[574] One is deception.

[575] One is, and human beings have always done it, and I'll explain why we're living in a world where it's harder to do, but what you do is just misinformation.

[576] propaganda.

[577] You say, hey, guess who's causing all your financial problems?

[578] A group called the Jews, or a group called the Chinese, or a group called the blacks.

[579] And by the way, they also kill their own kids, and they're subhuman.

[580] And you take young men who have no education, or have been educated specifically, and they're full of fire, and what they go to war for is to protect what they consider their way of life.

[581] See, I don't think people go to war for hatred.

[582] I think people go to war because they're in love with their way of life and they're trying to protect their families.

[583] They're trying to protect their way of life.

[584] And that's how you create a real soldier and a dedicated patriot.

[585] You create a sense of misinformation.

[586] Young men who are 18 and 19 are not asking questions.

[587] They're trying to be a hero.

[588] And if it means having to kill all those bad guys over there, and even their kids and their women, well, their kids and their women are kind of subhuman.

[589] You always create a subhuman...

[590] context for the enemy.

[591] But the good news in 2011 is that is becoming harder and harder to do because of the internet and we're all getting closer and closer together.

[592] And it's easier to kind of empathize with somebody when you see them suffering.

[593] When videotape doesn't lie.

[594] And when you can hear their voices and you can hear and they create political bodies and groups and they say, you know, look, we bleed and we cry just like you do right and and and that's that's what i had i think has a lot to do with breaking down these natural tribal tendencies that human beings have because human beings are tribal we are tribal even if you belong to one martial arts school it's so natural for you to go yeah we're better though those guys over there kind of yeah they're fucking they they do that thug jitsu we do the original pure you know you'll find that in anything right we're tribal And look at teams.

[595] Look at the nationalism involved in my team versus your team.

[596] I mean, you know, these big rivalries.

[597] But the good news is that I believe that, and I may be naive, but I don't think so, that pulling off something as horrific as what happened in the Holocaust would be very difficult.

[598] very difficult today and almost probably impossible because too many of us would go, this is outrageous.

[599] I don't think it would get as bad as the Holocaust, but I think it's happening right now.

[600] Well, it happened in Rwanda in the 90s, right?

[601] Sure.

[602] In the Congo.

[603] That was the, yeah, yeah.

[604] and and those places again are pretty remote and still haven't but most of africa i can't remember the number but there are an inordinate amount of cell phones in africa and during the violence in kenya recently people started videotaping soldiers raping women and they started tweeting and texting where the concentration of violence was happening so people were able to avoid that so what's happening is just like in mexico with the drug cartels People are being empowered by social media.

[605] And when they see a house where drug activity is going on, they can just tweet it anonymously and the cops go and find it.

[606] So they don't have to worry about retribution.

[607] So a lot of these things, a lot of the social media is a really good thing because it's creating, it's truly democratizing power.

[608] It's really spacing power out.

[609] And in some ways it makes for...

[610] It makes for a better place to live.

[611] Could you imagine if you had to move to Africa?

[612] Could you imagine if something happened, like America doesn't like Brian Callen anymore, you've got to get out of the country?

[613] I've been to Africa twice, you know.

[614] I know.

[615] What if you had to live there?

[616] I'm sure there's nice places.

[617] There are very nice places of Africa, but for the most part, you'd probably want to be in the United States.

[618] What if you had to live in the Congo?

[619] Could you imagine if...

[620] That would suck.

[621] That would suck.

[622] Dude, Japan just had another fucking earthquake, by the way, 7 .0, like three days ago.

[623] Where was this and I think right offside Tokyo like in the water like 7 .0 all the shit makes me wonder when I gotta get ready Do I need guns?

[624] Do I need to start storing water?

[625] There was an earthquake in Ohio, and they found out there's some controversy that it might be because they're drilling for wells and that they actually had to shut it down because there was some recent activity from this drilling.

[626] They've noticed that the activity has been higher than normal, and so they shut it down, and then just a little bit of time later, there was a 4 .3 earthquake in Youngstown, Ohio.

[627] That's possible.

[628] They say they can do that.

[629] They say they can start some sort of minor movements with some hardcore drilling.

[630] It kind of makes sense if you drill on a fault.

[631] Yeah, but is that...

[632] You want to fuck it up for good?

[633] Like now is there going to be earthquakes all the time in Ohio?

[634] Could you imagine if they did, if they just, the greedy fucks, if they just drilled a hole in the wrong spot and now it's like the worst fault line ever.

[635] And you can't really blame them because there's no real science behind them.

[636] It's really difficult for anyone to prove what caused, maybe all these earthquakes were going to happen anyway.

[637] You wonder, man. It's just like...

[638] We actually have a thousand wells that we've done in Ohio and in Pennsylvania and we've never had a problem before.

[639] That's hilarious.

[640] They drill 1 ,000 gigantic holes.

[641] 1 ,000.

[642] That's so weird, too.

[643] 10 100s.

[644] We really got that fault line good, guys.

[645] Just think about that.

[646] There's a huge aqua fire under those states.

[647] Yeah.

[648] Because we have water shortage in parts of this country.

[649] But apparently there's a massive aqua fire that they say is going to...

[650] push a lot of industry in that direction.

[651] What do you mean by aquafire?

[652] Under the earth, there's a massive natural reservoir of water.

[653] Really?

[654] Holy shit.

[655] How weird is it that the earth has all these creepy fucking layers underneath us?

[656] We're just living on this crust.

[657] We don't like to think that, man. Right under you.

[658] You get your water from the Colorado River.

[659] This is where the LA doesn't have water.

[660] There's no water here.

[661] We had to divert water from the Colorado River, and the Owens Valley just dried the fuck out.

[662] Like, that's what Chinatown's about, where the Owens Valley had all these farmers and this way of life, and they were like, the powers that be came in and go, we need to grow fucking orange groves, and by the way, let's start the movie industry here because the weather's predictable.

[663] Oh, we need water.

[664] Oh, fuck the Owens Valley.

[665] Redirect the river over this way.

[666] And all these farmers were like, my fucking sheep are dying.

[667] I don't have any water.

[668] And then they went fucking nuts, but they were like, sorry, we have the money.

[669] Wow.

[670] That's what happened.

[671] What a creep move.

[672] They stole their fucking river.

[673] Yeah, they dried out a whole fucking valley.

[674] They stole their water.

[675] Yeah.

[676] Isn't that amazing that you could do that?

[677] You could decide.

[678] You got enough power.

[679] You could decide.

[680] Well, I like it.

[681] All you people that are effects.

[682] That's when guys had power, like smoking a cigar going, let's just divert the river.

[683] What do you mean, sir?

[684] The Colorado River.

[685] One of the biggest rivers in the country.

[686] Yeah, let's do that.

[687] Well, that's how they created that Salton Sea, right?

[688] I guess.

[689] Isn't that what it is?

[690] I don't know.

[691] I might be talking out of my ass, but I think it has something to do with the Colorado River.

[692] A lot of Dan's natural lakes in this country were all a result of just figuring out a way to get water to.

[693] land so you could grow food.

[694] Yeah, LA is really a ridiculous place to live.

[695] It's a fucking desert.

[696] It's so stupid.

[697] It is.

[698] Our water could get taken away at any time.

[699] And we're just like...

[700] Yeah, but fuck, it's 73 degrees and breezy all the time.

[701] It was 93 when I got here.

[702] Yeah, but I'm down by the beach, so it's always really nice.

[703] Today was 85 degrees out here.

[704] It was 93 when I was driving.

[705] Jesus, that's insane.

[706] I like it.

[707] It's beautiful.

[708] I love the heat.

[709] It's in January.

[710] I love the heat, man. It's a lot better than fucking freezing your ass off.

[711] And I'll tell you what, it's a lot better than black ice and dealing with all the berries.

[712] You know, from Boston.

[713] I went to high school up there.

[714] Fuck that ice area, dude.

[715] The wintertime driving is scary.

[716] Dude, I remember going to high school up in New England and I would, my nostrils, my nostrils, the mucus in my nostrils would freeze walking from one to breakfast.

[717] I'll be doing that next Thursday, Joe.

[718] I've been on the highway before.

[719] and watched it rain and watched the rain just sort of start sticking to your windshield.

[720] You're like, what the fuck is going on here?

[721] The rain was just beginning to turn into ice.

[722] It looked like Christmas.

[723] It was just beginning to become icy rain, and then the entire road became a skating rink.

[724] I mean, it was just slide into a ditch.

[725] Everybody would just wait.

[726] Have you ever been caught in a hailstorm?

[727] Oh, yeah.

[728] I was in New Mexico in the summertime, and I got caught in a hailstorm.

[729] Like, huge hailstones.

[730] Oh, New Mexico's got...

[731] Holy shit.

[732] They got legit hail.

[733] They got hail that they put on YouTube.

[734] Dude, it's crazy.

[735] Yeah, I had golf balls, and the whole city had it, and everybody's cars were fucked up.

[736] And everybody did the same thing I did, was like, oh, they gave me $1 ,200 to fix it.

[737] I'm just keeping the money and buying some Xbox games and stuff.

[738] So everybody's cars were fucked up for years.

[739] Their dogs got jacked.

[740] People's dogs got fucked up.

[741] fucked up.

[742] Yeah, they get killed.

[743] There's one video that I watched.

[744] This kid put a video up of it starting and he didn't know how bad it was going to get because it was so crazy.

[745] He was like, oh my God, this fucking, this hail is so bad we had to film it.

[746] So he's filming it in his backyard and it's coming down, man. You're watching it.

[747] But then as he's filming it, it just turns into the preposterous.

[748] It turns into the end of time.

[749] It turns into a fucking shotgun of ice is coming out of the sky every second.

[750] I mean, his fucking pool is exploding.

[751] Exploding with splashes.

[752] Yes, yes.

[753] There's a lot of them.

[754] Oh, my God.

[755] You can't believe it.

[756] It's the most horrific thought.

[757] The thought that you could be on your way home from somewhere.

[758] You're walking home.

[759] Yeah.

[760] I bet you got headphones on.

[761] You don't even know what's happening.

[762] You get hit with the first ice pellet.

[763] Bang.

[764] What?

[765] Dude, that's what I was talking about.

[766] Okay, that's the random shit that drives me through.

[767] I don't want to die randomly.

[768] Like, for example, how about this?

[769] I told you the story where the couple is driving down the fucking highway and they hit a bear 60 miles an hour.

[770] Bear goes flying into the other lane and kills the people coming this way through their windshield.

[771] Flying bear.

[772] Died by flying fucking bear.

[773] Wow.

[774] Oh, my God.

[775] That's annoying.

[776] Can't bear proof your windshield, okay?

[777] Did it happen in West Hollywood?

[778] I saw a dude who had a thing on his car for deer, though.

[779] When I lived in Colorado, he had this badass fucking battering ram front grill.

[780] He had a pickup truck and he was a hunter.

[781] I think deer kill more people than any other animal.

[782] Oh, they kill a lot of people, man. You've got to be really careful.

[783] They're crazy.

[784] They have nutty instincts.

[785] They just leap out in front of cars.

[786] And I don't think they quite understand something can move as fast as a car.

[787] Because in nature, I think they get a lot more of a warning than a goddamn car.

[788] Well, it's also hard to judge because the car is on one level.

[789] So when it's coming at you on a highway, you can't tell how fast it is because it operates on the same.

[790] plane.

[791] Oh, because it's not jumping up and down?

[792] Yeah, if you look at the way a cheetah runs or a predator runs, they stay on one level.

[793] So they're not jumping up and down.

[794] Whereas a gazelle's jumping up and down, right?

[795] You can measure how fast they're going.

[796] But physics -wise, when something is operating along the same plane, it's much harder to judge their speed.

[797] That's why when you're on a highway and a car's coming at you, you can't tell if it's going 90 or 60.

[798] Because it's staying at the same level.

[799] Now, is it an efficiency thing for a cat or something like that?

[800] More, apparently more...

[801] Just evolution -wise, it's so the animal that it's chasing can't tell how fast it's coming out.

[802] It doesn't run according.

[803] It just runs, right?

[804] Right.

[805] But the cat looks like it's farther away from you than if it was jumping.

[806] And it's also harder to see.

[807] It's also staying low under the foliage.

[808] There's a cool video of, I guess, South America's jaguars, right?

[809] It's a jaguar eating a giant rat -like thing.

[810] A capybara.

[811] Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

[812] Have you seen that video?

[813] Oh, my God.

[814] Oh my goodness.

[815] And these dudes filmed it.

[816] 90 pound rodent, by the way.

[817] 90 pound rat.

[818] It's enormous.

[819] It's a rat like the size of a big fucking dog, man. And this jaguar is sitting there just completely frozen, like not moving at all.

[820] And the video takes like, it takes four minutes of the jaguar doing nothing until he launches himself on this thing.

[821] You know, jaguars, which are very big cats, will eat a human right quick.

[822] The one cat you don't want to be around is a jaguar more than an animal.

[823] Well, you know, when people take ayahuasca, that DMT beverage that they take in South America, one of the big visions that people have is jaguars.

[824] They have a lot of jaguar visions.

[825] Dude, you know, my buddy works for...

[826] like the Secret Service, you know?

[827] And you know they get calls all the time because sometimes they'll get their foreign service guys who go in and they'll fucking take, they try to mix in with the locals and they'll take drugs and then they'll just end up in the middle of the fucking Amazon or the Congo and they have to get a search team to go find them because they took some fucking drug and there are several stories like that.

[828] Or how about this?

[829] How about this?

[830] The guy during Haiti, not during this earthquake, but there was another disaster back in the 90s when people were trying to emigrate to the States, right?

[831] And...

[832] The guy, they had one dude, some young dude who is like basically at the embassy who there's a long line of people trying to immigrate to the U .S. and none of them were getting in, right?

[833] So you basically just go, denied, denied, denied.

[834] They had this one young guy who was like a shit assignment there, right?

[835] And it's hot, there's a fan on him.

[836] And he started, people kept lining up and he just kept going, he kept going, denied, fucking denied.

[837] Finally started going stir crazy, right?

[838] And he had this little...

[839] What's that Star Wars?

[840] Who's the Star Wars character?

[841] Boba Fett?

[842] Boba Fett it is.

[843] Boba Fett, okay.

[844] So he had a little Boba Fett doll there.

[845] And so he just started going crazy.

[846] And the guy would come up and he'd go, hold on.

[847] Sorry, Boba Fett says, denied, sorry.

[848] And he'd start doing that, right?

[849] That sounds like The Beaver.

[850] That's like Mel Gibson's movie.

[851] Okay, well, so he starts going, Boba Fett says no, right?

[852] Right.

[853] All of a sudden, the people started giving him Boba Fett offerings.

[854] okay so like like a week later boba fett has a fucking pile of everything from food to cigarettes like a whole mountain like right here okay then then a black market starts developing over boba fett dolls boba fett costumes and people started coming up with boba fett costumes and dolls and stuff trying to get in because they thought that was kind of who you had to talk to they figured this guy was they figured this guy's obviously talking to boba fett and this guy and he's a boba fett fanatic so we should show allegiance to boba fett so people were coming and dressed like Boba Fett and the US Embassy had to be like, alright, we gotta fucking stop this.

[855] Take that fucking doll out of here right fucking now.

[856] Because the guy was like, hee hee hee!

[857] Ha ha!

[858] Yes!

[859] More money!

[860] Yes!

[861] Thank you!

[862] Thank you very much!

[863] And Boba Fett says, no, I'm sorry.

[864] And the guy would be dressed like Boba Fett like, what the fuck?

[865] It's amazing that that guy got so far.

[866] That just shows you.

[867] That was a story that this guy who was a foreign service guy told me about.

[868] Oh, by the way, my other buddy came to visit me. I can't say his name, but he's a CIA guy.

[869] or something like that.

[870] I don't know what he does, but I know he's been in Iraq for 10 years and Afghanistan.

[871] He was telling me about that fucking waste that goes on.

[872] How about this?

[873] How about this?

[874] In Iraq, it's a desert, right?

[875] They spent $100 ,000 importing sand for volleyball courts.

[876] So they brought $100 ,000 worth of sand in for the volleyball courts as opposed to just getting the sand in Iraq.

[877] I'm sure you could find fucking sand somewhere in Iraq.

[878] Nah, let's import it from the States because everybody's got their fucking mouths at the government trough.

[879] And when you've got a war going on, there's so much money to be made and everybody does it.

[880] And it's just a confluence of fucking...

[881] events and everybody everybody who goes there you have a project you have money and you want to build a big dam or a power a big power plant right it doesn't matter if the fucking Iraqis need it or not what matters is that you burn your money you get judged by your burn rate okay and it has you you you have a certain allotted budget and you have to get a fucking huge power plant whether it's needed there or not the point is to get it done because then you get a promotion or your or your project is a success and that shit was going on and continues to go on in iraq for the past 10 fucking years the waste is so outrageous it's ridiculous it's an industry by the way you know the iraqis you're not do you know how much oil we've gotten from the iraqis uh how much oil revenue none it's all gone into iraqi coffers this whole thing cost us a fucking fortune and let me go on.

[882] Let me go on.

[883] Malachi is creating his own secret service police forces that report directly to him.

[884] Does that sound familiar?

[885] So we fucking take the country apart, and now we're leaving behind Saddam light.

[886] See you later.

[887] Thanks a lot, guys.

[888] He's consolidating power, keeping the Sunnis out.

[889] So the Sunnis are like, fuck you.

[890] We're going to lose all the resources.

[891] You guys are sitting on all the resources in the South.

[892] We're going to bomb the fucking shit out of you guys until you come back to the bargaining table.

[893] Hey, hey, civil war in Iraq.

[894] It's fucking a tragedy.

[895] And it's a civil war that happened.

[896] like that yeah but who but you know who was calling all that shit A lot of people, including this fucking idiot.

[897] And I'm an actor.

[898] And I said, how are you going to stop the Sunnis and the Shiites from getting into a war after all this shit breaks down?

[899] And how do you stop the Shia who are a majority from aligning themselves with Iran, our number one enemy?

[900] Huh.

[901] That's weird.

[902] Wasn't Iraq kind of playing sort of a countervailing force to Iran?

[903] I'm an actor.

[904] And I was asking that question.

[905] I'm an actor.

[906] And you know what?

[907] I read one newspaper a day.

[908] That's all.

[909] I don't know anything.

[910] And these fucking guys couldn't figure that out?

[911] So why is it so?

[912] Why do you?

[913] think that our foreign policy is so self -destructive i asked him i asked him that question and and obviously there's a lot of people are making a profit but it almost seems like you're burning the farm down he had a great answer he had a great answer because i said how much of this is like a group of men a cabal of evil men or how much of this is centrally planned or people have different interests and he said dude he goes it's not like that he said what it is is there's just a whole bunch of and i'll give you another example of what's happening now he said what is there's a whole bunch of interests working a whole bunch of money to make and everybody has a different opinion.

[914] And some opinions win the day and others don't, right?

[915] And so the State Department has their own agenda, the executive has their agenda, and everybody has their own agenda.

[916] But ultimately, enough shit starts to be kind of like talked about, where you start creating an enemy, you start saying this might be a good idea for the following reasons, and pretty soon there's so much, there's so many sort of...

[917] um there's so many groups of people that have a vested interest in going in and usually it's an intellectual interest usually it's like i think we can bring democracy to the middle east And that's a very grandiose idea and a grandiose plan.

[918] Oh, and by the way, because it's going to make the world safer at the end of the day.

[919] There are a lot of idealistic people involved in this as well, not just money people.

[920] And all of a sudden, all this shit starts to come together.

[921] And before you know it, you're fucking on your way to war.

[922] And the way he described it made a lot of sense.

[923] It's like a tidal wave.

[924] It starts as a snowball, and before you know it, you've got a fucking massive tsunami on your hands of just momentum.

[925] And there's just so many interests and there's so much movement in one direction that what are you going to do then?

[926] Call it off?

[927] No. You got weapons of mass destruction.

[928] He's used them before.

[929] Let's go take out the fourth largest army in the world because it's not safe.

[930] And let's make the world a better place.

[931] And you get a bunch of people like that who do it.

[932] And then, of course, you get a lot of people behind the scenes going, we can make a lot of fucking money.

[933] Boeing, Lockheed, Raytheon saying, dude, they're going to need a lot of weapon systems.

[934] They're not going to need them, but we can sell them to them.

[935] It's an amazing thing, too, that once that money starts coming in and coming in in just billion -dollar contract after billion -dollar contract, I mean, the amount of money, the defense contractors, Halliburton, the cleanup people, all the different people, I mean, the amount of money is insane.

[936] Try asking them to cut it off.

[937] Dude, how about this?

[938] Well, not only that, $11 billion.

[939] We have an $11 billion arms deal with Iraq right now, okay?

[940] And it's about to go through.

[941] But here's the thing.

[942] Can't give Iran the arms because Maliki is not agreeing to the terms we set for him, which was you have to share power with the Sunnis because we don't want a civil war there and we have a lot of American interest already in Iraq.

[943] There's a lot of American companies making money.

[944] Now here's the thing.

[945] You tell a politician to veto that $11 million arms deal.

[946] You know how many people that employs?

[947] You know how many constituents are voting based on the fact that they get a job because of $11 billion?

[948] You're going to take $11 billion out of the American economy?

[949] Good luck.

[950] Good fucking luck.

[951] And that's what happens.

[952] Isn't that amazing?

[953] It's amazing.

[954] It's called money.

[955] But the money...

[956] to make shit that kills people unnecessarily.

[957] Yeah.

[958] Oh, we need $11 billion.

[959] We're going to give you $11 billion.

[960] Oh, and by the way, we're going to give that to you, Maliki, so you can create your own army of Shia to keep the Sunnis down, and that's called a civil war.

[961] Without the military -industrial complex, how much less war would there be?

[962] I don't know the answer.

[963] I don't know.

[964] It's an interesting answer.

[965] I don't think it's war that you would stop.

[966] But I do think the private sector makes a lot of money off of the decisions made in government.

[967] And so there's a profit to be made from war.

[968] And if that's the case, it does raise an important question.

[969] If war becomes big business, let me give you another example.

[970] Iran.

[971] Iran has a nuclear program.

[972] At least we're trying to stop it, right?

[973] We did sell bunker buster bombs to Israel about three years ago.

[974] Now, what are bunker buster bombs?

[975] Bunker buster bombs, and these particular ones we sold to Israel, are bombs that can penetrate deep into the earth and take out an arsenal.

[976] So if you have a nuclear facility that is churning out weapons, these bunker bombs are supposed to go into the earth and blow that fucking facility to smithereens.

[977] Now, we don't want to do it, but...

[978] Maybe Israel will drop those bombs on, because they know where Iran is making these weapons.

[979] Do you think that the Americans are sitting back and using the Israelis as a proxy to see if those fucking bunker buster bombs work?

[980] There seems to be a lot of noise headed Iran's way, it seems to me. There seems to be something brewing in Iran.

[981] They have taken a very aggressive stance with the Gulf, with blocking off oil routes now.

[982] And the U .S. Navy is saying this is unacceptable.

[983] There's a whole bunch of noise going on.

[984] It seems to me things are moving in a direction that is not in Iran's favor.

[985] And let's see what happens next.

[986] But a lot of money.

[987] A lot of money.

[988] We probably gave those weapons to Israel for no pay, but we want to see if they work.

[989] You know Wesley Clark, the guy who ran for president, predicted all this shit?

[990] Yeah.

[991] Predicted every single step.

[992] He lives it every day.

[993] It's amazing.

[994] He sees the fucking waste.

[995] He sees how much money and what kind of a lobbying...

[996] power raytheon and boeing and lockheed are you don't think they have massive lobbying efforts there's just too much money at stake it's incredible they they and they can find a way to justify it it is legal yeah you know it has been done employment i'll employ 10 000 people in your state because i'll take my thing but we got to build this we got to build these very important um you know, fucking C -130.

[997] Listen, this is all shocking shit.

[998] It's all big bummer, end of the world shit.

[999] How do you fix it?

[1000] Is there a way?

[1001] Is there a way to fix what we've got going on right now?

[1002] I'll tell you what Ron Paul would say.

[1003] I'll tell you what Ron Paul would say.

[1004] Ron Paul would say, the only way to fix it is to make the government, the government that everybody feeds off of, and that has a lot of power to make these decisions, you make the government smaller.

[1005] You take away some of government's power.

[1006] I just watched a speech by Ronald Reagan that he made in, I think, 1969, and it's called A Time to Choose.

[1007] If he made that speech today, Ron Paul could make that speech today, and it wouldn't be any different at all.

[1008] He talks about how 37 cents a year dollar is gone to the government before you even wake up in the morning.

[1009] 37 % of your day is working for the government, and the government keeps getting better.

[1010] He talks about the war on poverty, and he did a little arithmetic.

[1011] He goes, if we take the money that we spent on poverty, and he takes a list of how many poor people there are, he said everybody should be getting $4 ,600 a year.

[1012] year but it turns out we're getting six hundred dollars how'd that happen is some money being lost along the way it was all the stuff that wrong let's let's just go let's explore that right okay here's the deal what if uh you do make the government smaller How much do you keep?

[1013] And then what happens to all those people that used to be government employees that have a career in being government employees?

[1014] This is the biggest problem.

[1015] And by the way, some of those folks are hard -working folks, and they do a great service to the country, and some of those folks are useless.

[1016] And there's a lot of people that are little leeches onto a system.

[1017] For me, yes.

[1018] And for me, it doesn't have to do with being Republican, Democrat, conservative, liberal.

[1019] It has nothing to do with that for me. What I look at is anything big.

[1020] Whether it's a big corporation or the government which has no accountability and is that big.

[1021] I don't understand how you can make that power run efficiently.

[1022] I do see how it can grow and it keeps growing.

[1023] And that's the threat.

[1024] And like you just said, you just brought up the biggest question.

[1025] What happens?

[1026] How do you make government smaller?

[1027] It has so many vested interests.

[1028] And not only that, it's not just government.

[1029] The private industry is involved in this.

[1030] You're right.

[1031] Technology.

[1032] Yeah, computers is the right answer.

[1033] Instead of having some asshole in a fucking suit that represents your state, go up in front of everybody and misstate everyone's position.

[1034] Instead of having that, you could have the people actually connect.

[1035] Let me say one other thing.

[1036] You're not alone in your thinking, and the conversation we're having is being had all over the country, in both Democrat and Republican circles.

[1037] This whole Occupy Wall Street movement is...

[1038] is in some ways voicing some of those frustrations.

[1039] I'll give you a piece of good news, in my opinion, and a piece of good news that we've never experienced before.

[1040] You hear a lot of people talking about inequality of income, and there is.

[1041] However, we are experiencing, and I'm stealing this from a Wall Street Journal article, so I'm paraphrasing this, but there is an equality of consumption.

[1042] that we've never experienced before and let me give let me tell you what i mean by that take somebody who's very wealthy very wealthy you have a lot more money than i do i do pretty well but you got a lot more money your life your life and my life are very are very similar the only difference might be might be that you drive a faster car but we sit in the same traffic you drive a porsche i drive a Prius, but we basically sit in the same traffic.

[1043] But the interior of my car, not that much different.

[1044] I got GPS.

[1045] I got a great stereo.

[1046] I got everything I need.

[1047] You wear the same clothing I do.

[1048] I guess you could wear Armani and Versace.

[1049] You never would, and the rest of that is fluff.

[1050] We eat the same amount of food.

[1051] And if you look at most people, and I'm talking about the middle class in this country, including people who are struggling for money and stuff.

[1052] Most people, the average amount for a wedding spent in this country is somewhere around $26 ,000 a year.

[1053] I mean $26 ,000.

[1054] That's a lot of money.

[1055] So what we have now is an economy where very rich people invent something.

[1056] Say it's an application or a computer or something that we all use.

[1057] But they don't make any money unless they can generate mass consumption of that product.

[1058] So that most of us own a computer.

[1059] Most of us own a cell phone, and that cell phone has all kinds of applications.

[1060] Most of us have a TV that allows us to watch pretty much anything we want.

[1061] High -def TVs cost $700.

[1062] That's amazing.

[1063] The technology that you have in your phone.

[1064] Let's take the old Wall Street, the first Wall Street with Michael Douglas.

[1065] He pulls out a Motorola phone that weighs two pounds and cost $3 ,995 back then.

[1066] That brick.

[1067] It was a brick.

[1068] and it weighed two pounds.

[1069] And that was for the elite.

[1070] I think it was a little more than that, actually.

[1071] I think it was about 5 ,000.

[1072] But that was for the elite back then.

[1073] That was what Michael Douglas pulls out a cell phone, and we go, holy shit, he carries his own phone.

[1074] Nowadays, the difference between, I'll tell you, Stephen Jobs and I use the same fucking phone.

[1075] Warren Buffett and I use the same phone.

[1076] The only difference between Warren Buffett and me, the only difference is he flies privately.

[1077] But I can fly anywhere I want for under $1 ,000 anywhere in the world.

[1078] if I get on the internet fast enough.

[1079] So we have an equality of consumption in this country, unlike any time in the history of the world.

[1080] And that's good fucking news.

[1081] Most people, I'm talking about most people, at least have enough to eat.

[1082] They have an ability to contact each other.

[1083] They have an ability to entertain themselves almost the way they want.

[1084] How many people own Xboxes?

[1085] I believe it was last year 60 million were sold or something crazy.

[1086] Xboxes.

[1087] So think about that.

[1088] I have seven.

[1089] Yeah.

[1090] So we have access.

[1091] And we have access to information and inspiration.

[1092] How many people listen to your podcast who don't have a lot of money?

[1093] But they get inspired.

[1094] You turn them on to things that they can afford.

[1095] This is what the good news is about.

[1096] Yes, we may have inequality of income, but we have equality of consumption like we've never seen before.

[1097] And that's...

[1098] Fucking...

[1099] That's a big deal.

[1100] And nobody talks about that.

[1101] Well, this definitely isn't the worst time in human history.

[1102] Fuck no. That's for fuck sure.

[1103] The great...

[1104] The thing...

[1105] I think what really is killing people is the unrealized potential of the human race.

[1106] That's what drives people nuts.

[1107] People that really truly are patriotic.

[1108] People that really truly do have respect and admiration for the human spirit.

[1109] They believe that there's a much higher level that our society and our culture can achieve.

[1110] And I do too.

[1111] It's not that I'm...

[1112] that I'm unpatriotic.

[1113] It's just that I think, God damn, we could do a lot fucking better than this.

[1114] We don't have to be the crooks of the world.

[1115] It's not necessary.

[1116] We're going to die someday.

[1117] We are temporary beings.

[1118] The way we're doing this is ridiculous.

[1119] The fact that we've allowed these people to continue to operate like this is ridiculous.

[1120] They're not looking out for our needs.

[1121] We shouldn't be playing policemen all over the world.

[1122] We shouldn't have a hundred fucking military bases all over the world.

[1123] It's ridiculous.

[1124] I agree with you.

[1125] Our military industrial complex as somehow or another co -opted the entire government.

[1126] And they're forcing people into some shit that the people don't want.

[1127] Even the patriotic people don't want.

[1128] I agree.

[1129] Very few people think it's a good idea that we stick around in Afghanistan.

[1130] I mean, Afghanistan doesn't even need us.

[1131] We overthrew the government in Iraq.

[1132] We took off and left them in chaos.

[1133] Obviously, right?

[1134] Everything's fucking falling apart over there.

[1135] And guess what?

[1136] Afghanistan doesn't have a government.

[1137] Right.

[1138] I mean, they're not even a real country.

[1139] Never have been.

[1140] It's ridiculous.

[1141] The idea that we can't leave it.

[1142] Oh, we don't want that to happen over here.

[1143] My buddy, the other guy, the CIA guy said to me, he said, he spent a lot of time in Afghanistan.

[1144] And he said they were talking to a dude on the border of Pakistan and of Afghanistan, Waziristan, that lawless area.

[1145] The guy didn't know what Pakistan was.

[1146] He lived on a mountain.

[1147] He was like, what are you talking about?

[1148] That's not my reality.

[1149] And you want a guy in Kandahar to have loyalty to somebody to the government in Kabul?

[1150] There's never been a tradition of that.

[1151] Never.

[1152] So what are you talking about?

[1153] They're just warlords.

[1154] And by the way, a corrupt government?

[1155] You think Karzai and his group are looking out for the Hazaras and the Tajiks up in the north?

[1156] What the fuck are you talking about?

[1157] How about Karzai's brother, who was a CIA employee?

[1158] The drug runner?

[1159] Yeah, drug runner slash getting checks from the CIA.

[1160] And guess what?

[1161] They're having a tough time getting people to not grow popular.

[1162] whoopsies for heroin we'd rather you know grow cotton and soybean because it's a lot more profitable it's it's it's these are these are a lot of soldiers i was out there i was out there and those fucking soldiers those soldiers were building hospitals and and schools and those guys are brave and i fucking am proud every time i see those guys okay and a lot of them died a lot of them got fucking egregiously egregiously wounded is that a word doesn't matter so so so but the bottom line is i'm not i'm not uh that's what that's what kills me is that effort and that That these are real heroes that are getting used in the wrong way.

[1163] Yeah.

[1164] And then we go out there and you talk to anybody who really knows about the country, including those soldiers who've been there a long time, go, what the fuck are we doing, man?

[1165] You can't build.

[1166] The U .S. is going to build a nation?

[1167] Afghanistan?

[1168] You're going to build a nation where there never was one?

[1169] What are you talking about?

[1170] It's insane.

[1171] All you're doing is taking money and moving it to people with bigger guns.

[1172] And what is the deal with Al -Qaeda?

[1173] in Afghanistan?

[1174] Isn't there like almost none left?

[1175] No, there's no al -Qaeda.

[1176] No al -Qaeda.

[1177] And by the way, you think the Afghanis...

[1178] But there is a Taliban.

[1179] Yeah, but you know what Taliban means?

[1180] No. Talib means student.

[1181] Really?

[1182] Yes.

[1183] So you're a student.

[1184] So Taliban is a...

[1185] So you're telling me that you're a Taliban.

[1186] A Taliban means, yes, I'm a student.

[1187] Yeah, you're a student.

[1188] You really mean student?

[1189] Yes.

[1190] Talib, you know, and you're a student.

[1191] Why?

[1192] Because the notion came out of those schools in Peshawar and in Saudi Arabia.

[1193] Most of those schools, all of those schools in Peshawar were financed by Saudi Arabia, our number one ally in the Middle East.

[1194] They were financed by that.

[1195] Why?

[1196] The Saudis are Wahhabis.

[1197] That is a puritanical sect of Sunni Islam, obsessed with purity.

[1198] Okay?

[1199] So, let's start there.

[1200] That's what happened.

[1201] And you have to go all the way back to when the Soviets actually invaded Afghanistan and we were financing the Mujahideen and everything else with the help of the ISI, which is the...

[1202] Is it true, you would be the great guy to ask about this, because I watched it in a documentary where they were saying that the whole term for jihad was originally a war on your own vices.

[1203] Yes.

[1204] And that it was subverted by the CIA.

[1205] The root word of jihad in Arabic is struggle.

[1206] Struggle.

[1207] And struggle, jihad meant two things.

[1208] I like how you say that.

[1209] It's very sexual, by the way.

[1210] Jihad.

[1211] It's very authentic.

[1212] You're so authentic.

[1213] I love you.

[1214] And the idea behind jihad, of course, was the battle that always wages between the flesh and the spirit in your own heart.

[1215] And then when the CIA was training the Mujahideen and supplying them with arms, they somehow or another subverted it to get them to meet holy war.

[1216] Who did it?

[1217] Who got them to change it to holy war?

[1218] What happened was when you had people who were fighting First of all, what the Soviets did to Afghanistan was pretty horrific, right?

[1219] Cut down all the trees, bombed all kinds of villages, and you created fanatics.

[1220] You created men who basically had lost their village and their young men.

[1221] And the Soviets were looking for natural gas?

[1222] Is that what they were looking for?

[1223] No, the Soviets were just looking for a buffer.

[1224] I believe they were looking essentially for a buffer zone between Pakistan and themselves.

[1225] Oh, that makes sense.

[1226] It was just all due to the Cold War.

[1227] Wow.

[1228] And they were afraid they were going to lose control of Afghanistan.

[1229] Where do we have...

[1230] Nobody ever wanted to be in Afghanistan.

[1231] You didn't want to be living in the Khyber Pass.

[1232] It's too forbidding.

[1233] There wasn't oil there.

[1234] They say there's minerals there.

[1235] Good luck.

[1236] Nobody fucking wants the minerals.

[1237] We get plenty of minerals from Africa and places that are much easier.

[1238] Nobody wants to go into Afghanistan.

[1239] It's always been a group of unruly, very proud people.

[1240] Well, that's actually not totally true because...

[1241] There's a lot of people that are rising up against the problems.

[1242] But back then, nobody had the resources to take those.

[1243] Yeah, but nobody wanted to get involved.

[1244] It's just...

[1245] What do you mean back then?

[1246] In the 79, when they...

[1247] Oh, I see what you're saying.

[1248] It was just fucking too difficult.

[1249] They didn't understand.

[1250] Nobody ever anticipated the worth of the minerals, though, for cell phones.

[1251] You know, like lithium ion for batteries.

[1252] It's one of the best mining areas in the world.

[1253] I don't know.

[1254] For all these different...

[1255] I don't know.

[1256] Maybe...

[1257] It's all over...

[1258] All these different scientific journals have cited it.

[1259] I mean, they found over a trillion dollars worth of minerals, and after that, We'll see if anybody is willing to put the money into that.

[1260] It's such a fucking pain in the ass.

[1261] Dude, I can't understand why you would say that.

[1262] There's a trillion dollars laying in the ground.

[1263] You're telling me there's not going to be big businesses going to pull that out of there?

[1264] A trillion dollars?

[1265] Dude, a trillion dollars can change the fucking world.

[1266] A trillion dollars can put a company into an incredible position of power.

[1267] You should research it before we talk any further about this.

[1268] I don't know.

[1269] It's indisputable.

[1270] They found a gigantic aura.

[1271] minerals that they had always suspected but it's much much larger than they thought i don't believe that we went into afghanistan i think we went into afghanistan because they were harboring al -qaeda i think that's what you know it was very hard to get it politically right you can't get the american public you can't say the american public hey we got minerals we gotta go so i think everybody wants it to be either or you know oh we went into there because we're corrupt and we're trying to take all their poppies because it's billions of dollars worth of heroin it's a lot of things it's it's not either or it's a goddamn soup of shit exactly and by the way it doesn't hurt that they can make money off the poppies it doesn't hurt there's a trillion dollars worth of minerals it doesn't hurt we should try to predict the next hot mineral for our future when you get in there there's opportunity right but isn't it funny how everybody wants to have a black or white issue it's either a crazy conspiracy theory or you know this is just the unfortunate nature of reality that's movies that's what because we want we want that it's easier to understand it's so amazing real life is way sloppier real life is way sloppier you know when you when you talk to i think it was tony snow before he died said they were saying well what are you guys going to do about this situation he said guys when we're in the oval office and you guys bunch of people there with all the top brass in the military and the cia and then you've got you know the state department we do exactly what you think we do Try sitting in a room with 30 people and come up with one idea.

[1272] Try to come up with one thing everybody agrees on.

[1273] You don't.

[1274] Everybody's banding ideas back and forth.

[1275] People are disagreeing with each other.

[1276] People are pissed off because you talked over me. Nobody can get the president's ear.

[1277] And that's what happens.

[1278] And then the president has to go into a room with three of his advisors and they have to fucking go, we've got seven options that we've been presenting.

[1279] Now, why do you think that in that case, why do you think that Obama is such a wishy -washy dude?

[1280] Why do you think he's the guy that is willing to pass the NDAA bill?

[1281] He's the guy that is...

[1282] I think my feeling, and I don't know, but my feeling is, and the mistake Obama made, and I think the opportunity he wasted was not...

[1283] I think he's an academic, first of all, and I think he's by nature a very, very...

[1284] He's an intellectual, and he looks at both sides, and I think he's by nature fairly indecisive maybe because he's an intellectual.

[1285] Really?

[1286] I think so.

[1287] I'm just speaking.

[1288] I think he's compromised.

[1289] I think he's clearly compromised.

[1290] I think he doesn't have the – I don't think – I don't know.

[1291] There's nothing – I don't necessarily agree that he's that smart, and also I don't think that he has the backbone.

[1292] I don't think he's – I agree with you there.

[1293] I don't think he's an effective leader.

[1294] I think that he should be more convicted.

[1295] He should have stronger convictions.

[1296] He does have strong convictions towards the people who got him in power, and that's what you've got to look at.

[1297] Look, people spent a lot of money to get that guy into the position that he's in, and he's working for them now.

[1298] It's as clear as day.

[1299] Yeah, well, listen, let's look at that.

[1300] I mean, a president spends two years doing his policy, and then he spends the next two years trying to get reelected.

[1301] He's just basically trying to keep everybody reasonable.

[1302] It's like, come on, folks.

[1303] Let's just be reasonable with how hard we fuck these people.

[1304] I mean, that's really what a president's job is.

[1305] They get in, and the best they can do is say, I really don't agree with this, but I have to sign it.

[1306] And that's what he did with the NDAA.

[1307] He voted against Iraq, and I always appreciate that.

[1308] You said, I don't believe in going into Iraq.

[1309] Yeah, but meanwhile, here we are.

[1310] Here we are.

[1311] A lot of it's tough for a president.

[1312] Fuck yeah, it's tough.

[1313] How much say do you think he really has?

[1314] How much say do you, I mean...

[1315] Is it possible for him to go against those people?

[1316] Is it even possible?

[1317] Well, he can't do a thing without Congress, right?

[1318] So he has executive power.

[1319] It used to be that way, but you don't have to declare war anymore.

[1320] You just start going over places, and next thing you know, shit happens.

[1321] I mean, was war ever declared?

[1322] I mean, there were a couple of conflicts that we were involved in where Congress did not step in and declare war.

[1323] You mean Vietnam?

[1324] Yeah, there you go.

[1325] I mean, we don't necessarily need it.

[1326] There's emergency executive powers.

[1327] And that's another creepy thing.

[1328] It's like when you find out how many fucking bills and laws are passed just under your nose and flying by.

[1329] Congress passed 40 ,000 laws last year.

[1330] Jesus fucking Christ!

[1331] 40 ,000 laws, ladies and gentlemen.

[1332] What is that?

[1333] Do you really need that?

[1334] I believe that is the number.

[1335] What I say is that you need Clint Eastwood laws.

[1336] And this is what a Clint Eastwood law is.

[1337] If you couldn't imagine Clint Eastwood arresting somebody for it, then it should be legal.

[1338] Common sense law.

[1339] Fucking Clint Eastwood.

[1340] It's only assholes, douchebags, meth heads, guy who needs a punch, someone you have to shoot.

[1341] That's laws.

[1342] But you get into really complicated issues with, for example...

[1343] anti -piracy laws.

[1344] How far do you go with that stuff, right?

[1345] So, you know, you and I love...

[1346] Raging debate on my website about this, by the way.

[1347] Well, yeah, because the website, because the web is the last frontier of free speech, of free everything, and it's not regulated.

[1348] Now, if you want to stop intellectual property from being stolen by countries like China, what do you do?

[1349] Do you pass a bunch of laws?

[1350] Would that help the problem?

[1351] I don't think it would.

[1352] Well, we would have to step up and say somehow or another we're going to boycott that.

[1353] I mean...

[1354] You couldn't boycott the whole country.

[1355] That would be ridiculous.

[1356] You couldn't do that.

[1357] You couldn't make a few people that won't play nice internationally responsible for the whole country.

[1358] What the fuck would you do, man?

[1359] What you've got to do is somehow or another get it into people's minds when they're really, really young.

[1360] Really young.

[1361] That the world is so much better if you're cool to people.

[1362] And then once they get there, it's spreading that...

[1363] No, we haven't completely done it.

[1364] No, we haven't, never will.

[1365] But here's the thing.

[1366] But that's not necessarily true because we've never had access to human beings the way we have access now on the internet.

[1367] And I think that human beings, two things happen.

[1368] One, you develop in a terrible environment and you develop all these defense mechanisms and genes that are only activated under extreme stress and you develop like a whole culture of people that are in a bad situation on a regular basis and are wired for that shit.

[1369] That's terrible, okay?

[1370] You also develop a bunch of people who don't get love on a regular basis.

[1371] They don't know how to give love.

[1372] They don't have a real true sense of community.

[1373] You have real problems if you don't educate people on how to be a person.

[1374] Absolutely.

[1375] But once you do and once you can, you can slowly change things.

[1376] You can change the way children are raised.

[1377] You can change the way relationships between your neighbors are formed.

[1378] And you can slowly spread this out to the point where it can have a real effect.

[1379] It can essentially be a new operating system for people.

[1380] Well, for the most part, I've got two thoughts on that.

[1381] One is if you read Tim Ferriss' book, The 4 -Hour Workweek, not the 4 -Hour hour body but the four hour work week listen man i ain't got no time i'm trying to get some four hour biceps he's a really he's really a great author isn't he i really love that he's great four hour body it's fascinating i love that book and i love that i love the other one and he said and he said something and it goes to to the internet and stealing and things look he said when you give people um when you when like with you do it here with the the brain thing you say if you don't like it don't even send it back give we'll give you your money back when you do something like from a business point And he talks about it.

[1382] He says, just tell people you'll give them either.

[1383] You can give people, you can tell people you'll give them double their money back.

[1384] And people go, well, that people will abuse it.

[1385] I'll go broke.

[1386] Guess what?

[1387] About 2 % of the people out there always abuse it.

[1388] always and the rest of them don't and the bottom line is it's like stealing music okay once you started getting out there piracy of stealing most people and i don't steal fucking music okay some people do but i was like i'm an artist i i'm about to come out with my one hour special i'm like i don't want people stealing it i mean it'd be nice if they paid for it i guess you if i feel guilty i feel guilty because i listened to some somebody a great song and all the effort that went into it i don't want to see that and actually most people most people Don't steal music.

[1389] Most people go to iTunes.

[1390] Except for ages 12 to 25 because they have no money.

[1391] Sure, but even then, man, even then, if you look at the statistics, even then, if you look at the statistics...

[1392] Listen, I am a shitty business person because I don't think about business.

[1393] I try to think about it.

[1394] I want to think about business as little as possible.

[1395] Me too, man. If anybody's ever said to me, like, hey, if I could get your DVD on Torrent or should I buy it, I'm like, you know what, man?

[1396] You should do whatever feels right to you.

[1397] That's what you should do.

[1398] If you don't want to pay for it, don't pay for it.

[1399] If you feel like it's okay to take it, just go ahead.

[1400] I'm going to put stuff out there and I'm going to put it out there with the honest intention of trying to entertain people.

[1401] I'm going to say this is what the fee is and if you pay it, you pay it.

[1402] What Louis C .K. did is the perfect thing where he released it himself.

[1403] Total direct connection between the artist.

[1404] Put it out for $5 which is awesome.

[1405] It's a perfect price.

[1406] I think that's the future.

[1407] I download amazing books.

[1408] like the book I'm talking about, Exodus.

[1409] I downloaded it for $7.

[1410] But even Louis, they pirated his thing, even though he said, you know, he asked people not to steal it, don't put it up on torrents.

[1411] You're always going to have some people do that.

[1412] But they're always going to.

[1413] But you know what, man?

[1414] Some people don't have five bucks, okay?

[1415] And I know it sounds stupid, but...

[1416] Credit card companies?

[1417] This is my point.

[1418] Unless you're starving because of all this, you can't fixate on it.

[1419] The correct thing to fixate on is get out your point of view.

[1420] Look, I've been in a position before where I was broke, and unfortunately for me, there was no internet at the time.

[1421] I didn't have the opportunity to just download music.

[1422] But of course I would have.

[1423] When I had no money, would I be like, I would love to listen to this Led Zeppelin album, but I want to be a good person.

[1424] When I would say, I'm going to buy this fucking thing someday when I have some money, but right now I'm going to download the shit out there.

[1425] By the way, artists make money.

[1426] They're still making money.

[1427] Yeah, they're not starving.

[1428] And by the way, it's beautiful that all that shit gets out there.

[1429] I want everybody to download every fucking Led Zeppelin album that's ever made.

[1430] And if it's a dollar that you can't afford to get a fucking whole lot of love, go find it somewhere, man. Listen to it on YouTube.

[1431] There's things you can take where you can take a song off YouTube and they'll convert it into an MP3 for you now.

[1432] Credit card companies have, I think it's...

[1433] Is that even ceiling?

[1434] No, but credit card companies always have what they factor in a certain fraud.

[1435] quotient into their business plan.

[1436] It's really interesting because actually like 2 .2 or something, it's almost always the same percentage.

[1437] 2 .2 % of the population is going to defraud you and you're going to lose money.

[1438] They just factor that in.

[1439] That's amazing.

[1440] It's the same percentage that you were talking about earlier with double your money back guarantee with the alpha brain supplements.

[1441] If you did do that, I bet you're right.

[1442] I bet it would be the same 2%.

[1443] There's always a group of people that are going to do it.

[1444] Two out of 100 suck.

[1445] Maybe that's number.

[1446] Maybe that is the number.

[1447] Because I've always said it's like 50 % of people suck.

[1448] But they don't.

[1449] It's like sociopaths, right?

[1450] One in 100 people is a sociopath or something crazy like that?

[1451] Something nutty like that, yeah.

[1452] That's a disturbing figure, man. One in 100 people doesn't care if you're fucked up or not.

[1453] One in a hundred people just have no feelings for other people.

[1454] That scares me. Sticking rods in their asshole.

[1455] Well, those are very rare.

[1456] Serial killers and sex slash killers.

[1457] By the way, now that I just remember it, you were talking about that guy who got fucked to death by the horse.

[1458] He might have been one of those.

[1459] He had piercings all over his balls.

[1460] There you go.

[1461] There you go.

[1462] You fucking nailed it.

[1463] I totally forgot about that.

[1464] Remember?

[1465] He had a gang of piercings.

[1466] If you're doing extreme things like that, you've lost the ability to feel.

[1467] Wow.

[1468] Think about it.

[1469] You've got to jack it up.

[1470] For me, the fleshlight is fantastic, ladies and gentlemen.

[1471] Get it on JoeRogan .com.

[1472] Isn't it crazy with that recent arsonist here in Los Angeles that it doesn't happen more often?

[1473] That one out of a hundred just doesn't start fucking...

[1474] I mean, I guess it does in some ways, but not to that extent.

[1475] You know what?

[1476] The reality is what Brian was talking about earlier is that this is a pretty good time to live.

[1477] We could fix it on the negative shit.

[1478] This is a pretty good time to live.

[1479] And it's 2012.

[1480] You know, this big change that everyone's going to look back on, you know, like the idea that the Mayans were correct and the time wave zero novelty theory.

[1481] Are you aware of what that is?

[1482] No. Time wave zero novelty theory was a mathematic algorithm created by Terence McKenna, the great psychedelic bard and author and botanist.

[1483] And he went on a mushroom trip in the jungle and came up with this idea based on the I Ching, because he had studied the I Ching.

[1484] map of time.

[1485] And then he was going to construct a mathematic algorithm based on the I Ching that would literally track progress and human innovation that you could track it like a wave that it was a mathematical program.

[1486] Yeah, that's how high he got.

[1487] How about that?

[1488] Some people sit around and think about the fucking, they have original thoughts that are so fucking deep.

[1489] And it came to a point of what he called ultimate novelty, which means something, novelty meaning innovation, novelty meaning some new thing that had not existed before, or some new branch of some new thing, and that a period of, a point of ultimate novelty will be achieved December 21st, 2012.

[1490] Now here's what's fucked up about that.

[1491] That is the exact same day.

[1492] to the day as the end of the Mayan calendar.

[1493] So he came up independently on his own with this crazy mathematical algorithm that I don't even know if it's real.

[1494] It sounds ridiculous.

[1495] But if you believe the guy, he says that he did not know the end of the Mayan calendar until much later, that he had been working on this mathematical program for like 30 years, bringing in mathematicians to work on it.

[1496] And apparently there's some debate over whether or not he had fudged numbers.

[1497] I don't...

[1498] I'm way too dumb when it comes to math to understand any of it.

[1499] But the idea has always fascinated me of, even if it's not a date, December 21, 2012, even if it's not a date, but the idea of it, the idea that it's inevitable, that it really must have, it's going to happen.

[1500] And if you look at how fast shit has happened to get to the point we're at today, and just a few hundred, three hundred, four hundred, five hundred years ago, the way we were living is just unrecognizable.

[1501] The hard surfaces on the roads and things flying in the sky and the lights of the city.

[1502] And now you know his name because he made up this whole bullshit.

[1503] You know, like he knew the Mayan calendar from the whole time.

[1504] You know what I mean?

[1505] What?

[1506] The guy that you're saying that either he knew about it or he didn't know about it.

[1507] Well, no, they hadn't even.

[1508] No, he had actually.

[1509] Or he knew about it.

[1510] I'm pretty sure he actually had come up with.

[1511] I'm pretty sure it's been proven that he had either come up with it before they had deciphered the mind calendar, or that he definitely hadn't studied it.

[1512] It wasn't mainstream news enough.

[1513] It was enough that I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

[1514] And plus, the dude was super honest.

[1515] If you listen to Terrence McKenna lectures, really fascinating individual.

[1516] He had a lot of interesting, fascinating things to say.

[1517] I've got to listen to him.

[1518] Brilliant, brilliant guy.

[1519] Really amazing.

[1520] Math theorists kill me. Well, he's not a math theorist.

[1521] crazy thing is that he wasn't he just had this crazy idea that came to him on mushrooms and the most ridiculous aspect of it was he asked the mushrooms why me why are you giving this to me and they said because out of the you know thousands of years that we've been in this field no one's ever come up to us who had the I Ching in their head before so what it was was to him was he happened to be in a place where he had studied some incredibly ancient Chinese divination system.

[1522] It's a real mystery what the I Ching is because it's a method of like...

[1523] fortune -telling, and it seems to be incredibly effective, statistically, numerically effective.

[1524] It's really weird.

[1525] People try to figure out what it is about the I Ching, but it works more than it doesn't work.

[1526] What does that even mean?

[1527] I don't know.

[1528] I don't understand it, but it's based on hexagrams.

[1529] It's based on these patterns, and McKenna coming into this field, eating these mushrooms, tripping his fucking balls out, had this ridiculous idea that what the I Ching really was was the Chinese, at some point in history, a long fucking time ago, had figured out a map of time.

[1530] Well, you know, like the guy who won the Fields Medal, right?

[1531] When he figured the answer out, there was an equation.

[1532] The Russian dude.

[1533] Yeah, and so they don't even know.

[1534] So just the equation, just the question was already theoretical, right?

[1535] The question is, it may not be a question, but let's just say it is a question.

[1536] And mathematicians have been contemplating the answer for the past...

[1537] 200 years.

[1538] The guy comes up with the answer, and the answer, I think, was like 357 pages long.

[1539] But the funny thing about that is that at the end of the 350 pages, all the great mathematicians went, get a fucking guy.

[1540] He got it.

[1541] He fucking, ah, I missed that.

[1542] Damn it.

[1543] He figured it out.

[1544] Think about your mindset.

[1545] What?

[1546] You were able to read the answer that was 357 pages long and go, ah, fuck.

[1547] And as a group, the group of great mathematicians that award the medal go, motherfucker.

[1548] For one person, that is an incredible achievement.

[1549] Right.

[1550] But also the fact that you can prove mathematically that the answer is right.

[1551] That's pretty cool.

[1552] That's pretty cool, right?

[1553] I want to be real clear that I'm not supporting this mechanic theory because people go, oh, you fucking believe anything.

[1554] I am absolutely not believing it.

[1555] How much money did you have in 2012?

[1556] He's dead, Brian.

[1557] I know, but how much do you think he's made off of that?

[1558] I don't know.

[1559] You could look at it that way, but I think he made a lot more money off of lectures on psychedelics than he ever did on this Time Wave Zero thing.

[1560] When you look at the fact that the guy worked on it for over 30 years, it seems to be some weird labor of love and obsession that he had.

[1561] I don't know if it's correct.

[1562] I don't know if it makes any sense at all.

[1563] I don't know if it's total horseshit.

[1564] I just think it's fascinating that a person would spend so much time making a correlation between the I Ching and a 13 -cycle, 28 -day lunar calendar.

[1565] calendar that is apparently more accurate than the calendar that we employ today.

[1566] And that you could use the I Ching as a calendar and the I Ching was somehow or another some map of waves.

[1567] And that novelty and positive things, it's never a steady rise to the top.

[1568] It's ups and downs.

[1569] What I think is interesting about what you're bringing up is that the fact of the matter is with technology, and we've talked about this before, we're probably going to live, if you live long enough for the next 30 years, We're probably going to live through things that are going to take our entire paradigm of reality and what we see as reality and certainly the world we live in and destroy the entire thing.

[1570] The boundaries.

[1571] Dissolve the boundaries.

[1572] and we'll have to reinvent what...

[1573] I think that the questions of being a human being will always remain.

[1574] I think there are questions that we ask ourselves as human beings.

[1575] What is fulfillment?

[1576] Who am I?

[1577] What am I doing here?

[1578] Those are questions that you can't...

[1579] That's a responsibility you can't run away from.

[1580] It's why I love Seneca and reading those guys because you read those fuckers and these dudes who sat around thinking 2 ,500, 3 ,500 years ago and they came up with questions that you still have to answer.

[1581] And most of...

[1582] us most of it when you read that shit you you go you go you you what happens to you is you go oh i'm living in a fucking i'm living in a glass house or a box of cards like most of my belief system most of how i live my life a lot of times you know when you read it you go there's not a lot of scaffolding for that.

[1583] There's not a lot of, you know, there's not a lot of, like, I can't really justify it along true moral or truthful terms.

[1584] And that's what Socrates and Seneca would do.

[1585] He would just ask you questions like that.

[1586] It's really interesting.

[1587] You know, you kind of, that's why reading the dialogues is such a mind fuck.

[1588] Because all it is is just a series of questions.

[1589] And you go, hmm, fuck.

[1590] Well, I believe this, and I have some standing, and now you're asking me a question I don't really have the answer to.

[1591] I was listening to this talk about the library.

[1592] Library of Alexandria and how it was burned down not once but twice.

[1593] Once by followers of the Koran.

[1594] And apparently they looked at it.

[1595] Yeah, the Muslim said that apparently they looked at it and said anything here that disputes the Koran is heretic.

[1596] Anything that supports the Koran is unnecessary.

[1597] Burn the whole fucking thing down.

[1598] It's like a million volumes.

[1599] And it was essentially the same people that built the goddamn fucking pyramids.

[1600] I mean, what kind of information was lost?

[1601] When you talk about the I Ching, forget about whether or not it's really a map of time.

[1602] But what is it?

[1603] It is really obviously something incredibly complicated.

[1604] There's this series of hexagrams, and there's obviously something to it.

[1605] It's not a random thing.

[1606] There's something studied about it.

[1607] There's a book called How the Irish Saved Civilization.

[1608] Have you heard of it?

[1609] No. By Kaplan.

[1610] I can't think his name is Kaplan.

[1611] He's a great, great historian.

[1612] I've read a couple of his books.

[1613] During the Dark Ages, when Alexander was burned down and a lot of during the Crusades, the Christian Crusades, and also when the Ottoman Empire came in and took over and things, a lot of this knowledge was lost.

[1614] But the people that actually were the only people that could write back then in Europe were primarily the Irish clergy.

[1615] the priests, and they would write down, they copied these books, they painstakingly copied a lot of these books and carried them around with them and carried them in their oral traditions as well.

[1616] And so a lot of that information, like the Greeks and all the things that we base our political system on, was carried through, at least the thesis of this book, was carried through by these Irish scribes, by the Irish clergy, who during the Dark Ages kept a tradition of this alive in books.

[1617] and kept their own libraries hidden.

[1618] Isn't it amazing when you look back at really, really ancient academics, like when people would go to Egypt, a lot of the Greeks would travel to Egypt to study.

[1619] At one point in time, there was obviously some gigantic pool of information.

[1620] There was a much more advanced society than we give credit to.

[1621] That's for sure.

[1622] It's amazing, isn't it?

[1623] Some asshole burned it all down.

[1624] They lost everything.

[1625] Yeah.

[1626] But then you don't lose everything.

[1627] But then as you get older, you realize that.

[1628] But it's probably more advanced today, right?

[1629] Yeah.

[1630] Wouldn't you assume?

[1631] Yes, in many ways, because we are privy to more information, because we are becoming, you know, it's like, I would liken it to how martial arts has changed exponentially because everybody is sharing information with each other.

[1632] I agree with you 100 % until we start talking about the pyramids.

[1633] And then I just go, well, explain that.

[1634] How the hell did they do that?

[1635] There you go.

[1636] That's amazing.

[1637] I don't know.

[1638] To at least 2 ,500 BC, maybe even earlier.

[1639] It's incredible.

[1640] Insane.

[1641] That's a good point, too.

[1642] It's the most amazing physical accomplishment that human beings have ever done.

[1643] Forget about not in the industrial age.

[1644] Yeah, and I also think, like, if you look at St. Peter's Cathedral, have you ever been there?

[1645] Have you ever seen that?

[1646] No, only in photos, but it is incredible.

[1647] It's beyond what you can imagine.

[1648] Even as young boys, to go there, because my uncle lived in Rome, and I would go, and I'd look, and I'd spend all this time there.

[1649] Because that would never be, nobody would ever do that today.

[1650] That's not true, man. Did you hear about that guy that got arrested in Italy because they thought that he was building some sort of a military thing, and they were going to storm his house with guns until he let them in.

[1651] He had a modest home in the countryside, and then inside his house was a giant fucking construction that went into the hills and the mountains, and it was a beautiful cathedral, incredible artwork.

[1652] I mean, this place was massive, and stunning, and stunning.

[1653] And it was him and just a few friends, and somehow they've been working on this for 20, 30 years, and everybody was like, what is this crazy asshole doing, digging a hole?

[1654] Dude, you have...

[1655] have to look at it because it is art for the sake of art. He didn't want anyone to know about it.

[1656] And it's beautiful.

[1657] He has rooms that are like Egyptian rooms with like hieroglyphs and sarcophagus.

[1658] It's online.

[1659] Just look up Italian home, mountain, look up, what would you call it?

[1660] Artwork.

[1661] What would you call it?

[1662] Cathedral, temple, temple, Italian home, temple.

[1663] What I mean is that the craft of stone making and when we when they take a tapestry and two generations of artists would work on it.

[1664] So one generation, he'd work on it for his lifetime, then die, and then the next generation, his apprentice, would come and finish it.

[1665] And all those things, when you look at St. Peter's Cathedral, that was a group of people that were so divinely inspired, the notion that they were just making what you said, art for art's sake, as an homage.

[1666] Come over here and look at this real quick.

[1667] Come over here and look at this real quick.

[1668] Put this down.

[1669] Look up, folks, look up Eighth Wonder of the World on the UK.

[1670] mail online stunning temple secretly carved out below ground by paranormal eccentric look at these fucking photos man i mean you can't even wrap your head around this shit this is uh this this guy made this in in a countryside it's insane i mean this guy built all this shit in the countryside man look at this look at his ceiling wow nobody it's incredible it's you would say that but he did it today yeah This is Risa.

[1671] Look at this.

[1672] I mean, this is incredible shit.

[1673] Look at the floor on this place.

[1674] Look at the artwork on the pillar.

[1675] I mean, it is some of the most stunning shit, and I don't like that stuff.

[1676] Like, I was over at these people's house.

[1677] They're very nice folks, but they have this ridiculous mural, like a painted mural on the wall, and it's like bad art, and it looks so like a boat and shit, and some fucking asshole fisherman.

[1678] You're like, what are you doing?

[1679] There's a restaurant by my house that just hired their daughter.

[1680] Look at this, Brian.

[1681] I'm sorry, one more.

[1682] Take a look at this.

[1683] This is the hallway that leads into it.

[1684] Look at that.

[1685] They carved that into the mountain.

[1686] Yeah, they carved that in the mountain.

[1687] Yeah, it's amazing.

[1688] For the folks that are just listening, the artwork on the wall is spectacular.

[1689] The floor, the marble on the floor is just immaculate.

[1690] It's amazing.

[1691] And look, this is the outside of the house.

[1692] No way.

[1693] Yep, just a regular house.

[1694] Just a weird regular house.

[1695] Oh, my God.

[1696] That's cool.

[1697] Yep, and they were moving so much dirt out of there that everybody was like, and they did it for a long -ass fucking time.

[1698] That's what makes the world a better place.

[1699] They occupy 300 ,000 cubic feet.

[1700] That's an act of faith.

[1701] That's an act of faith.

[1702] Look at this.

[1703] Big Ben, the clock, is 15 ,000 cubic feet.

[1704] Under this guy's house, he had 300 ,000 cubic feet.

[1705] Think of how big this fucking thing is that this guy built inside the countryside underneath his house.

[1706] That's incredible.

[1707] It's amazing.

[1708] A 57 -year -old former insurance broker from northern Italy who, inspired by a childhood vision, began digging into the rock.

[1709] There it is.

[1710] It all began in the 60s when he was 10.

[1711] God.

[1712] Damn.

[1713] Yeah.

[1714] There's some motherfuckers out there, dude.

[1715] I mean, why isn't this a movie?

[1716] But look at Michelangelo.

[1717] Michelangelo went blind from painting the Sistine Chapel.

[1718] Oh, yeah.

[1719] By the way, I credited Leonardo da Vinci with that the other day.

[1720] We were super high.

[1721] Me and Everlast were talking.

[1722] So folks, folks, correct me on Twitter.

[1723] Thank you very much.

[1724] I appreciate it.

[1725] For some reason, when I get high, I forget that Leonardo da Vinci and...

[1726] Banksy.

[1727] They were contemporaries, though.

[1728] Yes, they were.

[1729] But I forget that Michelangelo was a different guy.

[1730] Yes.

[1731] Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo and my stupid head are like one person.

[1732] No, in fact, if you read The Agony and the Ecstasy by Irving Stone, Michelangelo was short, kind of skinny with a pug nose, and da Vinci was a stud.

[1733] He's a stud.

[1734] He's a genie.

[1735] And da Vinci was the one who was the real inventor too, right?

[1736] Yes, yes.

[1737] Michelangelo was a badass artist, but da Vinci was inventing fucking space planes and shit.

[1738] That's right.

[1739] Yeah, what a freak show that guy was, huh?

[1740] Well, the Sistine fucking chaplain went blind.

[1741] He couldn't stop.

[1742] The greatest thing, the greatest fucking, the greatest line for Michelangelo when he, and to define what you are as a person in art, was when he looked at the fucking, at this huge piece of marble, and he's about to carve the statue of David, and his girlfriend at the time, his one love, said to him, what...

[1743] how are you going to do this?

[1744] And he said, it's already in there.

[1745] I just have to get all the stuff out of the way.

[1746] And it's a great metaphor for art or a human being.

[1747] You start a piece of shit, and if you can delete enough stuff, just through hard work and carving and stuff, you can become a better person.

[1748] It's so important that people do things, and that you do things that other people enjoy.

[1749] Correct action is huge.

[1750] Whatever it is, whether you're a fucking Dotson repairman, and you're like, oh, Frank, you're the fucking best.

[1751] And by the way, Failure is more important than success to become a better person.

[1752] You have to.

[1753] Look at fighters.

[1754] But what I'm saying is doing something that people enjoy really is the fucking key to happiness in life.

[1755] It's like doing something that makes other people happy in some way.

[1756] It really is the key to happiness in life.

[1757] And it's one that so few people ever figure out.

[1758] And that's one of the reasons why people are so fucked up is because so many people have this selfish, it's all about me attitude.

[1759] And you don't understand that you will never be happy.

[1760] Not only that, you won't be prosperous either.

[1761] You won't be because you are a part of a gigantic system, and you are in a symbiotic relationship with every human being that you come in contact with.

[1762] So when you fuck them over, you fuck up your whole system.

[1763] You spread out negative energy, you put out bad ripples, and it comes back.

[1764] It's impossible not to.

[1765] You see it with fighters sometimes.

[1766] You see fighters start coming with, like a lot of guys who are real angry, and they come from broken homes, and they're just fucking sour.

[1767] But they learn.

[1768] And they learn.

[1769] And to get better, they have to confront that anger and they have to learn to control it.

[1770] And a lot of times, by the time they're done, they come out of it really well -adjusted, just men in some ways.

[1771] The best, guys.

[1772] The best of the best.

[1773] are martial artists.

[1774] You know, Anderson Silva, he's a martial artist.

[1775] He is, man. You know, he's a martial artist.

[1776] Who else would you say is in the...

[1777] George St. Pierre is a martial artist, no doubt about it.

[1778] He is a 100 % martial artist in the way he behaves around people, the way he conducts himself.

[1779] He conducts himself as an exemplary member of society who can fuck you up.

[1780] That's what he does.

[1781] You never get the feeling hanging out with George that he can kick your ass.

[1782] You never get the feeling.

[1783] Of course he can.

[1784] You know he can.

[1785] Psychologically, realistically, you know he can kick your ass.

[1786] But you never feel that around him because he's always so humble and so friendly and so nice.

[1787] We were talking about that.

[1788] Some people have a lot of trouble managing success.

[1789] It's a character issue.

[1790] It's whether or not you accept bullshit, lies, or whether or not you look at yourself realistically.

[1791] And he's a guy who does.

[1792] And to get better and stay on top, you've got to confirm.

[1793] front that in yourself everything all day every day and you have to have a completely open mind that's why a lot of fighters choke or they freeze up and stuff and it's just human yeah you've got to be able to assess your objective your your objective strengths and weaknesses at a moment's notice and you've got to be able to do it completely accurately you can't be burdened down by some ego that has you convinced that you're right and you're doing it together and avoid all the oh you also have to be doing it to some extent to to It's a fine line because you don't want to do things for other people.

[1794] You're doing it to surprise yourself, but your motivation has to be pure because if your motivation is not, you will pay a price for it.

[1795] Sure, right.

[1796] You do it for art, man. This is how I approach everything I write.

[1797] I say, well, I really got to get together and fucking do some writing today.

[1798] Don't be lazy, bitch.

[1799] And then I sit down and I start writing, and I never say, okay, here, I'm going to write things for people.

[1800] Whatever it is, I got to conjure it up.

[1801] I don't even try to be funny.

[1802] I just try to write what I think is interesting.

[1803] Well, that's one of the reasons why I enjoyed writing blogs.

[1804] Before I started writing my book, I was writing a lot of blogs.

[1805] And they're still all up at JoeRogan .net somewhere.

[1806] You can find them.

[1807] We need to make that shit easier to find.

[1808] Yeah, because the blogs and the videos are all together in the same pile.

[1809] I think it's under tags.

[1810] You have it as a blog or a video.

[1811] Yeah, but most people don't even know what a tag is, dude.

[1812] Most people just want something real clean.

[1813] Click on, here's the shit you wrote.

[1814] Well, I'll get that done eventually.

[1815] But my point is that I would never write anything on purpose trying to be funny.

[1816] I would just sit down and...

[1817] Look, man, the world is funny.

[1818] There's just stupid shit that's going on all day, every day.

[1819] If you can't see some funny in the world, but it's also that some funny, especially when you're writing blogs, it's always balanced out with the shit that's not funny.

[1820] That makes the funny stuff even funnier.

[1821] It's got to be whatever the fuck is coming out of there, and then I just extract the jokes from that, the stuff that's actually funny.

[1822] I extract it from that, the ironic points.

[1823] Well, you've always looked at it.

[1824] Your comedy, to me, has always been...

[1825] You know, I've always been more absurd, but you look at the truth of situations, and you just fucking, you carve it out and shine a light on it.

[1826] I try to put a lot of absurd in there as well, because I found out along the way that, first of all, not being absurd can be a trap.

[1827] People take you seriously.

[1828] I don't want you to take me seriously, man. I don't have time for that, okay?

[1829] So please don't.

[1830] But that becomes a trap, and I've seen some comics fall into it, especially when they develop a following.

[1831] They have this group of people that wants them to lead the way.

[1832] Dude, a following is very hard to manage is what we're talking about.

[1833] Don't fucking listen to your following too much because you start believing the hype.

[1834] You get older and people like I go on the road and people like you.

[1835] Yes, but appreciate it.

[1836] Yes, but it's a responsibility.

[1837] It's a resource.

[1838] It's a responsibility.

[1839] They're your friends out there.

[1840] Of course.

[1841] You just got to respect it.

[1842] Just don't let it define you because then you will start trying to be a certain way that you're not.

[1843] I think it's all about when it happens to you that you develop a following anyway.

[1844] I mean, do you develop a following?

[1845] when you're 17 years old and you're on a Disney sitcom and you don't really understand yourself or do you develop yourself when you're you know when you're 30 and then you become it goes back to the martial arts example back in the day when your teacher taught you martial arts you had a karate teacher he was the master he would never fight his sparring days were over he's too deadly to spar with you the Brazilians are like they're your teacher they fucking roll with you every fucking day you know that's the difference between you know real fighters and guys who are well you know Well, no, the real issue is striking versus jujitsu, you know, because you can't do that every day with striking.

[1846] It's just too difficult.

[1847] I mean, if you have a great group of people where you guarantee, you know, like, hey, man, let's just go light, you know, and you really do not try to kill each other.

[1848] That's awesome.

[1849] That's hard.

[1850] But that's not normal.

[1851] Normal is like the gentleman that we were talking about earlier today, the very successful gentleman that we won't mention his name, who doesn't know how to spar.

[1852] He just tries to kill guys in the gym.

[1853] And, you know, they tell him, listen, man, you're not going to get any fucking sparring partners.

[1854] You're too crazy.

[1855] Yeah.

[1856] And that's a guy that's missing the whole point.

[1857] That's right.

[1858] That's exactly right.

[1859] And you miss the whole camaraderie of being a teammate with someone.

[1860] Part of it is you build each other up.

[1861] You could hit your teammate, but you don't.

[1862] That's one of the things I noticed about those guys.

[1863] All those team...

[1864] They become close.

[1865] Super close, yeah.

[1866] Because they're sweating, bleeding, and fucking dying together.

[1867] Exactly.

[1868] And they can trust each other when they're sparring.

[1869] That's really important, man. Even though you spar hard, it's not...

[1870] I mean, dudes are getting hit.

[1871] No doubt about it.

[1872] Look, you don't get as good at boxing as Nate Diaz does unless you've got a guy like Gilbert Melendez in your camp.

[1873] You know what I'm saying?

[1874] These guys are going at each other all the time, and they're doing it the right way, and they're both getting good as fuck.

[1875] And same thing with Nick.

[1876] He's so goddamn good.

[1877] And you know what Nick's doing?

[1878] He's constantly boxing with Andre Ward.

[1879] He boxes with Andre Ward, who's an Olympic gold medalist.

[1880] Andre Ward's a hell of a boxer.

[1881] Brilliant, brilliant boxer.

[1882] I mean, that guy never gets hurt.

[1883] So he boxes with Andre Ward.

[1884] Look, man, Nick Diaz is professional boxing level.

[1885] He is, huh?

[1886] Yes.

[1887] First of all, he's a super athlete.

[1888] He can put a pace on those dudes that they can't handle.

[1889] For me, he's my favorite fighter.

[1890] He's a super endurance athlete.

[1891] I mean, you look at him, he's obviously in great shape.

[1892] I mean, it's not that.

[1893] But what you don't understand is his cardio is like double what a normal human's is.

[1894] Like literally double.

[1895] That's so weird.

[1896] Yeah, and because he has that, man, that's a weapon.

[1897] He can use that weapon because most guys aren't willing to work that hard.

[1898] He does triathlons all the time, man. He fucking swam back from Alcatraz.

[1899] twice twice Yeah, in the shark -infested water.

[1900] I mean, the reason why they put Alcatraz there, they go, we'll put a prison here.

[1901] Who the fuck's going to swim that?

[1902] They thought it couldn't be done.

[1903] And this crazy asshole is a cage fighter who's done it twice just for the fuck of it.

[1904] And that's not even what he does.

[1905] He's not like an ultra -endurance swimmer in the ocean.

[1906] No, he's a cage fighter.

[1907] But his mind is so strong because of that.

[1908] Because he has so much fucking endurance.

[1909] It's so weird.

[1910] So does Nate.

[1911] Let me tell you something.

[1912] If every round was like a 20 -minute break, it round.

[1913] you could never beat Nick Diaz.

[1914] You could never beat him.

[1915] Because after 15 minutes, you'd be huffing and pumping.

[1916] You'd be waiting for that stool and he'd be like, what, bitch?

[1917] He'd be still pop, pop, popping you with those 50 % punches in the face.

[1918] Does he talk to me?

[1919] Fuck yeah, he does.

[1920] You know why?

[1921] Because he's smart.

[1922] Because that's a psychological war that's going on right there.

[1923] And if you can get a guy flustered and call him a bitch and get up in his face and get him thinking about your emotions, that's the intelligent thing to do.

[1924] If you were an intelligent fighter, you would add that.

[1925] I know it's beautiful to be a Georges St. Pierre and to bow like you're a martial artist, and to never be talking shit in the middle of a fight, to do it completely respectfully, and he gets it done masterfully.

[1926] But, in my opinion, I like watching a guy like Nick Diaz get in there and go, what, bitch?

[1927] What, bitch?

[1928] Where you going, bitch?

[1929] Where you going, bitch?

[1930] Moving his head, he's on all fours, moving his head around.

[1931] Yeah, moving his head back and talking mad shit.

[1932] He seems to truly hate the guys he fights.

[1933] He does until he fights him, and then he's cool with them.

[1934] You know, after he knocked out Frank Shamrock, he goes, come on, man, get up.

[1935] You're a legend.

[1936] And he helped him.

[1937] Helped him up.

[1938] Picked him up by his hand.

[1939] And Nate did the same thing Nate and his brother Nate after he beat up Cerrone this weekend.

[1940] You know, he said, you know, listen, man, it's all good.

[1941] You know, it's just hype and bullshit.

[1942] And they hugged and it was cool.

[1943] You know, and Cerrone gave it up to him.

[1944] Period.

[1945] He was a better fighter.

[1946] That's it.

[1947] No excuses.

[1948] He kicked my ass.

[1949] And they just let it go.

[1950] It was beautiful.

[1951] You know, I like that.

[1952] I like when dudes can let it go.

[1953] But it's a smart thing to get guys upset at you.

[1954] It's a smart thing.

[1955] It seems Nate and Nate.

[1956] Nick, don't give a fuck.

[1957] Don't give a fuck.

[1958] They don't give a fuck.

[1959] They dare to kick your ass.

[1960] It's really simple.

[1961] They dare to kick your ass and they don't want to talk to you about the fight.

[1962] No, they dare to kick your ass.

[1963] But they're punching.

[1964] It seems...

[1965] It's brilliant.

[1966] It's like they're punching.

[1967] It looks like he's moving in slow motion.

[1968] I was watching it.

[1969] First time I watched him punch, I was like...

[1970] It doesn't look like he's moving in slow motion.

[1971] It looks like he's not trying to hurt you.

[1972] Yeah, he's just like...

[1973] Well, you know why?

[1974] Because don't throw your punches at 100%.

[1975] Throw your punches at 50 % and land 82 % of them.

[1976] They still hurt like a motherfucker.

[1977] Dude, and he wasn't even throwing them at 80%.

[1978] I would say maybe he threw a lot of punches that were around 50 % of his full power.

[1979] If he really wanted to haul off and blast you in the face, he could knock people the fuck out.

[1980] But him and his brother have figured out this really effective style of volume, technical punches.

[1981] Who taught him that?

[1982] Is that Andre Ward?

[1983] That's a real good question.

[1984] I would be out of school if I said that, but I don't think so.

[1985] They have a boxing coach.

[1986] There's a Mexican gentleman that's in the ring with him all the time.

[1987] I should credit him.

[1988] because I need to find...

[1989] It makes me want to go become a...

[1990] It's over for me, but you just see those guys.

[1991] They make it look so easy.

[1992] They're submission game.

[1993] They're fucking punching.

[1994] I love those dudes.

[1995] They're so fun, man. you know nick diaz is just i love his nonsense oh sorry sorry richard perez richard perez i should have known he's one of those guys that i his name was at the tip of my tongue but they've been with him for a long time he's had every one of their fights and he's their boxing coach and he always you know they always credit richard perez afterwards and and you know what he's got them so slick their head movement their counters their angles man dude how much i wonder how much they practice that i mean how much how many how many they practice boxing every day i mean oh yeah they're boxing a lot i mean they're very boxing centered and why not be because Look, first of all, everyone knows their jiu -jitsu is nasty, so you don't really want to take them down necessarily and wind up in their guard.

[1996] Nate Diaz fucks guys up from his guard.

[1997] Yeah, he does.

[1998] And so does Nick.

[1999] They both catch guys.

[2000] So what are you going to do?

[2001] You have to stand up with them.

[2002] And if you want to stand up with them, they're both long, and they both throw all these volume punches, and those tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, and they're so fucking accurate, man. He broke the CompuStrike record, Nate Diaz did, in the Cerrone fight.

[2003] What happens if Nick fights them?

[2004] I think it was 82%, I believe it was.

[2005] That's nuts, man. That's nuts.

[2006] Yeah, it's crazy.

[2007] I've never seen anything like that.

[2008] I've never seen anything like it.

[2009] Dude, he boxed him up, man. His boxing was brilliant.

[2010] And in the last two fights, in the Takanori Gomi fight and in this fight, he just turned this crazy corner.

[2011] And I think it came out of the loss to Rory McDonald.

[2012] That Rory McDonald kid is a fucking beast.

[2013] You know, that young man from Canada.

[2014] Do you know who he is?

[2015] Rory McDonald.

[2016] He's only had a few UFC fights.

[2017] He had a real close fight with Carlos Condit, and he got stopped in the third round.

[2018] but he was winning the first two rounds.

[2019] And really, a quick demolition of Mike Pyle.

[2020] I was really blown away by that.

[2021] I expected Mike Pyle was going to be very difficult for him.

[2022] I mean, he caught him early, and you catch anybody early.

[2023] But was this Rory guy a boxer?

[2024] No, he's a full -on MMA fighter, but he's a young kid.

[2025] He's been training MMA only for his whole life, from the beginning to end.

[2026] Well, Nate had a fight with him, and Nate lost the decision.

[2027] He didn't get hurt.

[2028] He never got beat up.

[2029] He got thrown around a little bit.

[2030] The guy took him down a few times, like suplexed him and stuff.

[2031] But one of the things about the Diaz, brothers is they're the amazing defense you know they're they're always they're so used to fighting against brutal guys in training that they're really good at surviving you know and so he realized that he probably should be at 155 pounds it was like a better weight loss he was fighting 170 he was fighting 170 and he didn't build up to get there he didn't go up to like 185 190 and then cut his weight down he was you know he was essentially you know weighing in like much much closer to the 55 pound limit but the last two fights he had at lightweight it was takanori gomi And this last one against Cerrone.

[2032] And both of them.

[2033] It was just insane.

[2034] And Cerrone is no joke, man. No, he's a beast.

[2035] You know, I think what happened was, I think, you know, Nate got pissed off on himself after that fight with Rory McDonald.

[2036] And he said, you know what?

[2037] Fuck it.

[2038] I'm kicking it up a notch.

[2039] And decided, you know, 155 was where I was supposed to be.

[2040] And, you know, just really get to it.

[2041] Were you surprised when he gave him the finger like that?

[2042] No, it was beautiful.

[2043] It was beautiful, man. This is war, man. It's psychological war.

[2044] You know, like Larry Bird used to show up at every three -point contest and go, who's coming in second?

[2045] That's it.

[2046] You know, you got to think about Larry Bird when you're fucking shooting.

[2047] that shot now because you can't be in the zone because no one's fucked with you and you can have your own positive thoughts.

[2048] No, you got Larry Bird's freckly little white ass cracker face going, who's coming in second?

[2049] Well, you know what it said to me?

[2050] When I saw him getting the finger, I went, that guy's not tired.

[2051] He's not tired.

[2052] No, he doesn't get tired.

[2053] He's just like his brother.

[2054] They go on, you know, they do some fucking extreme endurance work, man, and they keep their conditioning at a really high level.

[2055] And if you do that, you can put a pace on a dude they can't fuck with.

[2056] And then on top of that, if you have really good striking, then it's like, man. Getting striking like that is so difficult.

[2057] That takes years, man. And balls.

[2058] You have to have balls.

[2059] You have to go in there with guys who can take your fucking face off.

[2060] Yeah, and you get hit and hurt a lot.

[2061] You've got to learn defense.

[2062] You've got to learn how to roll with punches.

[2063] You've got to learn who not to spar with.

[2064] There's some dudes that it's not worth it.

[2065] Some dudes, you can spar them every now and then, especially if you're feeling fresh or something like that.

[2066] Yeah, but you take a few bucks.

[2067] with just strict boxers like Andre Ward, you start to try to fight him just as a boxer.

[2068] MMA guys are a lot different, though.

[2069] A lot of guys, especially in the early days of MMA, I've had long conversations with dudes about this who started out in the early 90s.

[2070] They didn't know any better, and they would just go full blast in the gym all the time.

[2071] And then somewhere along the line, people started telling them, like, hey, man, you shouldn't do this.

[2072] You guys should be sparring with technique, and this is how you do that, and this is how you save yourself for the fights.

[2073] Yeah, because nobody was ever using a jab back then or anything like that.

[2074] Yeah, exactly.

[2075] Everybody was like, Haymaker Central and then you get in there that's one of the reasons why a guy like Anderson shines you know you get in there with a guy like Anderson like Chris Lieben just charged at him just went to try to maul him which was you know If you're going to give him a good strategy, what's a good strategy?

[2076] Stay on the outside and let him pick you apart or chase that motherfucker down.

[2077] I would have told Chris to do the same thing.

[2078] He just wasn't ready for that level yet, in that technical level that Anderson's achieved.

[2079] He has all the techniques.

[2080] He doesn't have just haymakers.

[2081] He came from a technical Muay Thai background.

[2082] So his technique is beautiful.

[2083] I was watching Tiago Alva's mom down on American Top Team.

[2084] You trained with him, right?

[2085] Yeah, trained with Anderson Silva's best friend, I guess, and coach.

[2086] Muay Thai coach, who's a stud himself, just like this real good -looking dude who's like, and I got, I was so, it was so exciting because Tiago is a big Death Valley fan, so he came up to me, he's like.

[2087] Which is a show that you're on for people who don't know.

[2088] Yes, he's like, dude, I'm a huge fan, you crack me up, it's so funny.

[2089] That's a terrible accent, it doesn't sound anything like him.

[2090] Not at all, but he's so funny, and we had such a laugh, he took me around and we had a blast, but he gave me a private Muay Thai class, and then he rolled with me in jiu -jitsu.

[2091] And if you ever want to feel like a hen with a wolf.

[2092] It was ridiculous.

[2093] He's so strong.

[2094] He kicked the bag at one point just lightly.

[2095] I was holding it.

[2096] He was showing me a roundhouse like a low kick.

[2097] The power is ridiculous.

[2098] retarded with that guy.

[2099] You know what the beautiful thing about him is?

[2100] When he throws things, everything is tight and tucked.

[2101] He's got some of the best defense as far as MMA strikers.

[2102] He's got some of the best defense.

[2103] You know what it is, man?

[2104] I can tell, and I spend enough time with him, he's fucking smart.

[2105] That guy's really smart.

[2106] Yeah, he's doing everything very technically.

[2107] He's very smart.

[2108] He's matured a lot.

[2109] He's 28 now.

[2110] He was just very open about what a crazy fucker he was when he was younger, spending money going crazy.

[2111] Did you see his last fight against Papi Abedi?

[2112] No, he tore the guy to shred it.

[2113] It was beautiful.

[2114] It was beautiful because this guy's a monster, man. This Papi Abedi looks like the last guy you'd ever want to fight.

[2115] You look at him, he's just ridiculously shredded.

[2116] He's a judo black belt.

[2117] He can strike.

[2118] He's very similar to...

[2119] Shark Shirk?

[2120] No, no, no. The Bellator, Hector Lombard.

[2121] Very similar to that Bellator champion, Hector Lombard.

[2122] Really similar.

[2123] Just built and ridiculous power punches.

[2124] Really fast.

[2125] And Tiago just stayed in the pocket, man. Just caught him with little shot after little shot.

[2126] Leg kicks.

[2127] And the dude was swinging at Tiago, man. The dude was a scary guy.

[2128] But it was a beautiful display of technique and patience and being a veteran and overcoming a guy who can beat anybody.

[2129] He's had 16 fights in the UFC, man. That's a lot of fights.

[2130] And that Papi Abetti guy, I feel like he could beat anybody.

[2131] I feel like if you fuck up and let that guy punch you in the face, if somehow or another you zig when you shoot a zag, you get caught, which happens to guys.

[2132] You saw the John Fitch fight this weekend?

[2133] Yeah, he got knocked out.

[2134] He got caught and knocked out with one punch.

[2135] Well, there's a follow -up punch, but essentially the one punch was the one that really did it.

[2136] Johnny Hendricks caught him, and he tried to come back from it.

[2137] Well, with those little gloves, your margin for error really slims down, and that's where learning technique, and if you look at boxers, when they teach, you're spending more time avoiding than throwing punches.

[2138] You don't even throw hands, but moving out of the way and then hitting or just being able to slip punches, that takes a long time.

[2139] Well, there's a lack of real high -level technical boxing in a lot of areas of MMA.

[2140] Because it takes forever.

[2141] forever and it's really hard to learn everything.

[2142] It's one of the reasons why a lot of people think you should be awesome at one thing before you ever get into MMA.

[2143] It's like the Rory McDonald's of the world are very rare and this is this young kid who's starting out.

[2144] He's got great wrestling.

[2145] His wrestling is outstanding.

[2146] His kickboxing is nasty.

[2147] His jiu -jitsu is solid as fuck.

[2148] He's really got no weaknesses.

[2149] But, you know, he's one of those 22 -year -old kids that can actually do that.

[2150] He came up with this stuff.

[2151] Yeah, he came up with it from the get -go.

[2152] You know, for the most part, most guys, they came up with one discipline or another, and the best thing they could hope for was to be really good at something.

[2153] Whether they're really good at wrestling, so they take a guy down, or really good at striking, they just learn how to sprawl like Mirko Krokop.

[2154] You know, he never really became anything other than a striker.

[2155] He has a couple submission victories, but they're mostly after he, except the Randleman fight, mostly after he was fucking a guy up.

[2156] The question is, can anybody beat Jon Bones Jones and does he go to heavyweight?

[2157] Sure.

[2158] You know what?

[2159] Nobody ever expected that Jon Bones Jones was ever going to exist.

[2160] Before he existed, nobody would have suspected that some brilliant young kid could come in here who was an excellent amateur wrestler.

[2161] with, you know, a few years of karate and taekwondo or something under his belt.

[2162] Maybe not even a few years.

[2163] I should say, like, you know, months of it.

[2164] But just, you know, practiced some kicks.

[2165] He knew how to do them.

[2166] And then you get him with some ace trainers like Mike Winklejohn and Greg Jackson, and they mold this kid into some fucking prodigy.

[2167] I would have never said that could have happened before, that some kid could have been in the game only like three years and just dominate guys like Shogun, dominate guys like Machida.

[2168] You know, he put Machida to sleep with a standing guillotine.

[2169] When was the last time anybody put a high -level champion?

[2170] champion to sleep with a standing guillotine and then dropped him like it was Mortal Kombat.

[2171] Like he just beheaded him and shit.

[2172] It was like, fatality.

[2173] It's ridiculous.

[2174] You know what he is, man?

[2175] He is the king of the new school.

[2176] That's what he is.

[2177] John Jones is the king of the new school.

[2178] There's no one who can fuck with him.

[2179] These new guys, there's a level.

[2180] There's a high level.

[2181] There's a higher level than has ever existed before, and John Jones is at the peak of that wave.

[2182] I guess it's Junior Dos Santos and those guys next.

[2183] But there's another wave coming, and another wave coming is those Roy McDonald dudes.

[2184] John Jones started out as a wrestler and learned all that.

[2185] at striking and slowly become better at striking.

[2186] Rory McDonald is great at everything.

[2187] He's great at everything.

[2188] His fucking head movement is nasty.

[2189] His striking is clean.

[2190] His technique is perfect.

[2191] He's got knockout power.

[2192] He's fucking 22 years old.

[2193] And he's smart.

[2194] He's a little savage.

[2195] Those guys are coming up.

[2196] And there's a 14 -year -old right now that'll probably fuck him up.

[2197] And the guy that's hitting pads in Vegas right now.

[2198] You ever see those two little kids?

[2199] Yeah.

[2200] The little Mohawk kids?

[2201] Dude, those little kids can do everything.

[2202] And they're like little kids.

[2203] I don't know how they all are.

[2204] Eight, nine.

[2205] out but they're super dedicated and they love the sport you know and they get a lot of attention so they do it a lot and their parents love it and Come on, man. Those kind of guys, that's the next wave.

[2206] So as crazy as Hoist Gracie was in 1993, Jon Jones is in 2012.

[2207] And as crazy as Alistair Overeem is in 2012, you're going to have some new dude that's going to be 10 years from now or whatever, and he's going to have some mad distance between them.

[2208] Because it'll be a sport as itself.

[2209] Because right now, it's a sport that's piecemealed from a bunch of other different sports with no clear formula.

[2210] Eventually, they're going to get a pretty clear formula.

[2211] Eventually there's going to be, it seems MMA as its own fighting system is going to solidify.

[2212] Most likely.

[2213] You know?

[2214] Most likely.

[2215] The way boxing, like, yeah.

[2216] But part of the fun is the ebb and flow and the battle while it's happening.

[2217] All of a sudden, karate is what everybody needs to know.

[2218] Nobody can touch Machida.

[2219] Oh shit, who would have ever thought it was karate after all these years?

[2220] If you just have the sprawling, then it's karate.

[2221] And then, you know, a guy like John Jones comes around and it's like, oh no, no, no, it's length.

[2222] It's distance and intelligence and a That's what's important.

[2223] And the willingness to believe in yourself and just throw wild shit.

[2224] And the fact that nobody can hit you because you're a mile away from them by the time you connect on them.

[2225] What about him and Junior DeSantis?

[2226] Will they fight?

[2227] Maybe eventually.

[2228] I think John Jones will someday be a heavyweight because he's so young.

[2229] I think he's only 24 now.

[2230] What weight does he walk around at?

[2231] That's a good question.

[2232] You know, I should ask him.

[2233] I think he's above 215, 220.

[2234] I think he gets pretty heavy.

[2235] And then he drops the weight, you know, and eats healthy.

[2236] And I think he's got a big family.

[2237] And I think he's got big, you know, he's a young kid.

[2238] He's going to fill out.

[2239] Well, his brothers play football, one professionally, right?

[2240] I think he'd be amazing as a heavyweight, too.

[2241] He's big enough.

[2242] He's got skinny legs.

[2243] Yeah, and those could get bigger.

[2244] And, by the way, he would be even more ridiculous then.

[2245] Could you imagine if all of a sudden he had super legs underneath him?

[2246] squats and deadlifts and just triangle the fuck out of everyone.

[2247] Could you imagine that?

[2248] He's triangling people.

[2249] He can do anything.

[2250] How tall is he?

[2251] I believe he's 6 '4". That's really tall. He's really tall, but his reach is what's ridiculous. Pull that up, Brian. Find out how tall John Jones is. By the way, what is Anderson Silva? How tall is he? I think he's 6 '2".

[2252] I'd love to see that fight.

[2253] Yeah, but, you know, the issue is a wrestling issue.

[2254] You know, I mean, he's...

[2255] Anderson?

[2256] Yeah, Anderson is like, he's an amazing, amazing fighter.

[2257] But when you're taking on a guy who's physically much bigger than you, right?

[2258] Anderson is...

[2259] Were we asking how tall he is?

[2260] Six foot four, yeah.

[2261] He's got six foot four, but he has a reach that's bigger than some seven foot tall people.

[2262] He's got a crazy reach.

[2263] Yeah, I mean, I just said that, and that's real.

[2264] His reach is the longest of anyone in the UFC, including Semmy Schilt, who used to fight for the UFC.

[2265] So his ability to touch you with his hands is like right up there with Stefan Struve.

[2266] Stefan Skyscraper Struve has a, I believe he has a shorter wingspan than Jon Jones does.

[2267] So he's just got, he's got everything going for him.

[2268] He's got intelligence.

[2269] He's got confidence.

[2270] He's got the courage to get in there and fucking throw down against the best fighters in the world, even though he's only...

[2271] been doing it for three years.

[2272] And he's got the athleticism to pull it off.

[2273] And he listens to everything.

[2274] And you listen to interviews with him.

[2275] The dude is on YouTube all the time watching wrestling matches and learning moves and putting them in his head.

[2276] He's a fucking...

[2277] He's loving that he's the baddest motherfucker in the world.

[2278] Yeah, Tiago told me that Anderson's...

[2279] I said, what's Anderson like?

[2280] And he said, he's a martial arts nerd.

[2281] He loves martial arts.

[2282] He watches stuff.

[2283] Both guys.

[2284] Well, you don't get as good as Anderson unless you're completely obsessed with it.

[2285] You know, there's the story of Anderson's fight with Tony Frickland.

[2286] You know that story?

[2287] Anderson fought Tony Frickland and he had this crazy upward elbow that he wanted to try, like some shit he saw in an Ong Bak movie, and his coaches were like, will you get the fuck out of here with this elbow?

[2288] He kept practicing this really nutty elbow that would never come up.

[2289] It was like a kung fu move.

[2290] It was like some stuff that you saw in a movie that you would never see in an MMA fight, where it's much more dangerous.

[2291] But he made his wife hold the pillow for him, and he would practice this upward elbow.

[2292] He made his wife hold pads, and he would practice this shit.

[2293] shit over and over again he had to do it away from his coaches and so then he was like in in the the actual cage and he like told his fucking coach i'm gonna do that upward elbow they're like you shut the fuck up and get out of here with this crazy upward elbow and bablam he catches freaking with his upward elbow and puts him to sleep not just put him to sleep but stiff -armed him he went down like stiff legs stiff arm nothing was working and he blasts him with an elbow and then anderson just walks away like he's a ninja It's the most ridiculous shit ever.

[2294] But that's what it is.

[2295] He learned a technique that was outside of his discipline.

[2296] He's just such a bad motherfucker.

[2297] What he's got is, just like Jon Jones, he's very intelligent, and his timing is amazing.

[2298] And his confidence.

[2299] Intelligence, timing, confidence, and character.

[2300] And with Anderson, too, Anderson is a guy who's been proven.

[2301] I mean, Jon Jones has never been in a fight where he got dominated for four rounds and then pulled it off in the fifth.

[2302] There's something invaluable about what Anderson has accomplished.

[2303] And what Anderson showed in that Shel Sonnen fight was that he's not just the hammer.

[2304] He can take it.

[2305] dude you can't break him and if you slip his face was clean after the fight he's looking for he's looking for a way to win man if you slip he's gonna find it and guess what yeah it's only a minute to go but look at this oh What's this?

[2306] I could not believe that.

[2307] Gotcha, bitch.

[2308] I could not believe it.

[2309] Yeah, I mean, he just did what he had to do.

[2310] And he came in there injured, you know.

[2311] Oh, was that what it was?

[2312] Oh, yeah.

[2313] He had a rib issue.

[2314] He looked like he was just out of it.

[2315] Well, that's why he let him take him down.

[2316] You know, he's like, you know, I could stand up with this guy or I could just fucking barely fight off the takedowns.

[2317] It's going to be interesting.

[2318] Yeah, if you can't take him down, but Chael Sonnen has the best double in this sport.

[2319] His running, charging double, dude.

[2320] He just takes motherfuckers down.

[2321] Even if Anderson was fully healthy, I don't know if he could stop that guy from taking him down.

[2322] A lot of people don't know.

[2323] See, the thing about Chael Sonnen, dude, is Chael Sonnen, when he's right, and right now he's right, he's one of the best on the planet, dude.

[2324] That wrestling is insane.

[2325] His top position, his boxing is fucking good.

[2326] When he caught Anderson with that straight left and wobbled him, look, I don't give a fuck what you say.

[2327] That's got to put some thoughts into a guy's head.

[2328] You've got to go, charges at you, throws fucking clean, crisp punches.

[2329] I wasn't afraid of him.

[2330] Can take a shot, and his wrestling's ridiculous.

[2331] And now, after the Bryan Stan fight, oh, he's strangling people, too.

[2332] Now he started submitting people.

[2333] It's crazy.

[2334] Jesus Christ.

[2335] And you want to talk about a guy talking shit and fucking with your head.

[2336] The greatest.

[2337] He's the best ever.

[2338] The greatest.

[2339] Dana White said he's the best since Muhammad Ali.

[2340] You know, Muhammad Ali was in a different world because he had a different flavor to him.

[2341] It was like a ridiculousness to him, which Chael sort of has a little bit of a ridiculous to him, but God damn, that dude's funny.

[2342] He's hilarious.

[2343] And he's so prolific.

[2344] He's amazing.

[2345] He's always coming up with new ridiculous shit to say.

[2346] He's a stand -up comic.

[2347] He's unbelievable.

[2348] I wish they didn't hate him so much in Brazil because he said a lot of crazy shit about Brazilians.

[2349] He makes fun of Brazil.

[2350] I know, I know, I know, I know.

[2351] And you know what?

[2352] I mean, whatever.

[2353] I shouldn't say he probably shouldn't have done that, but now he can, you know, if he went there, I mean...

[2354] It would probably suck for him.

[2355] Everywhere he goes, people would be screaming and yelling at him.

[2356] If he was ballsy enough to actually go there to fight him.

[2357] Is he going to fight Anderson Silva?

[2358] Is that going to be on the books?

[2359] Who knows?

[2360] He says no. He said that he's got an announcement.

[2361] And he said, my next move after Mark Munoz, what he said was, I don't know, but if I was George St. Pierre or John Jones, I'd take a real deep gulp right about now.

[2362] Who said that?

[2363] Chael Sonnen said that.

[2364] So he's insinuating that he will want to fight John Jones or George St. Pierre.

[2365] I take a real deep gulp right now.

[2366] He wants it.

[2367] He's a hilarious showman.

[2368] And since George just had knee surgery, and he had patella tendon graft knee surgery, which is particularly difficult to come back from.

[2369] Not difficult, but time -consuming, because you have...

[2370] It's like a year, right?

[2371] Well, you have, yeah.

[2372] It's a little more...

[2373] I mean, every doctor has their own philosophy.

[2374] doctors have their own specialty but some doctors don't like to do it that way because they believe that it compromises the strength of the patella tendon and it makes the knee a little bit wigglier.

[2375] I have both.

[2376] I had this one done.

[2377] My left knee was done.

[2378] Patella tendon graft.

[2379] My right knee was done with a cadaver.

[2380] And the right knee came out way better.

[2381] Maybe it was a better doctor.

[2382] That's very possible.

[2383] But the guy that I did in New York was a top -notch guy that did New York Knicks and did basketball teams and shit.

[2384] He was supposed to be really good.

[2385] But it took a long time before that knee felt right again.

[2386] My right knee felt great in a few months.

[2387] Like four or five months, my right knee was fine.

[2388] It all depends.

[2389] My left knee, well, no, the surgery is very different.

[2390] They take a chunk out of your bone and they slice your tendon.

[2391] They take a strip of that tendon and a chunk out of your shin bone.

[2392] So they pull it off intact in one thing.

[2393] And then they open you up and screw that in place.

[2394] And that becomes your new ACL.

[2395] So weird.

[2396] Yeah.

[2397] So he tore his ACL.

[2398] Yeah.

[2399] Yeah.

[2400] He tore it.

[2401] He tore it training.

[2402] He heard it and then he had to pull out of the Nick Diaz fight or the Carlos Condit fight, whichever fight it was at that point in time.

[2403] believe it was carlos condit yeah it was carlos condit he pulled out of that fight and then i really would have loved to have seen that nick diaz uh yeah well he kept trying to train i guess and that's really what fucks you up you know i have a little back injury this little muscle pull it's where my floating rib head is it's like where it connects to like where your scapula is it's been a fucking pain in my ass for like a couple of months and the reason being because it was hurting me and i said i'll just go and roll light And that's what you do.

[2404] Like when you have an injury, you have to.

[2405] It's like driving your car with a flat tire.

[2406] Like, eh, just go slow.

[2407] Like you got to be super smart in combat sports when you have an injury.

[2408] And George hurt his knee.

[2409] He had to pull out of the fight.

[2410] And then he tried training again too soon.

[2411] And then he blew it.

[2412] And then it exploded on him.

[2413] You know, it just lost the ACL.

[2414] That's what happens a lot of times.

[2415] You do damage to the knee.

[2416] The knee will be compromised and weak, and then you hurt it again.

[2417] That's exactly what happened to me, in fact, on my first knee surgery.

[2418] In a four -hour body, that's why it says those Soviet coaches and some of those guys, the way they get you conditioned in Olympic condition, they make you walk really fast for 15 minutes, and every day you have to cover more ground.

[2419] So walking is your aerobic exercise, and if you walk speedwalk for 15 minutes as fast as you can, you'll get in the best shape of your life.

[2420] especially if you do it uphill.

[2421] That's hilarious.

[2422] That's a great idea.

[2423] If you get on a treadmill and put it at 4 miles an hour at 15 degrees incline, the highest incline, just try that shit sometime.

[2424] Try walking for 4 miles an hour for 15 minutes.

[2425] Tim Ferriss had a great article on his website about intelligence and efficiency over training.

[2426] That's right.

[2427] And how important it is to build up real endurance.

[2428] It's the whole deal.

[2429] All athletes now, they undertrain.

[2430] What they found is that Dan Gable and those American wrestlers So over -trained.

[2431] What happens is you get injuries later on.

[2432] But they have unstoppable mental strength because of it.

[2433] Of course.

[2434] Their ability to dominate competition.

[2435] No one has more mental strength in combat than wrestlers.

[2436] They're on another level, man. The grittiness.

[2437] I went to Dan Gable's camp for two weeks.

[2438] I remember realizing if this is what it takes to train in college, I don't want to fucking be a college wrestler.

[2439] I don't want to get up and sprint for an hour in the morning.

[2440] I was like, this is...

[2441] I was 17.

[2442] I was like, fuck this.

[2443] I did it.

[2444] Then I came back my senior year and did pretty fucking well just because I'd been in Iowa.

[2445] Yeah, it was one of the reasons why I quit wrestling over Taekwondo.

[2446] When I was in high school, I was doing wrestling and Taekwondo, and wrestling made me so fucking tired.

[2447] I remember the first day after practice, we ran stadium stairs or something like that.

[2448] The first day after practice, I couldn't walk.

[2449] I was walking in the hallways.

[2450] I would have to stop for a second and massage my upper thighs and then walk again.

[2451] Sometimes matches will go over time in an extra three minutes.

[2452] You thought you were going to fucking die.

[2453] I'll never forget that.

[2454] That is a young man when you wrestle.

[2455] I wrestled pretty.

[2456] It was my sport.

[2457] That fear of walking on that mat against somebody you don't know when you're 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.

[2458] it does change you.

[2459] It really does force you to reckon with...

[2460] I think even any sport, just playing basketball, anything, where you have to step up.

[2461] Yeah, wrestling, you're alone.

[2462] It's true.

[2463] Common sports, when you're alone, it's a lonely place on that mat.

[2464] It is definitely, I think, more troubling or more taxing and more testing of your character.

[2465] Yeah, and then to go to Iowa to this intensive wrestling camp and you're around all these Midwestern animals and you're like, holy crap.

[2466] They're ready to dedicate every moment of their life to wrestling.

[2467] Why does that 17 -year -old have a fucking mustache?

[2468] Yeah, it's like...

[2469] like when you know one of the first times i ever saw matt hughes fight i remember thinking like you know and this back when he used to they used to let him wear wrestling shoes okay good luck good luck good luck stopping that shot when he's wearing wrestling shoes and he was so fucking strong tiago told me he was the strongest guy he'd ever wrestled he said matt hughes was the strongest person i'd ever oh i believe it you know matt hughes tapped out fucking brock lesnar when they were training together no yeah Dude, he's a black belt level Brazilian jiu -jitsu artist.

[2470] You know what I mean?

[2471] He learned everything from Jeremy Horn and from MMA classes and catch wrestling.

[2472] He knows a lot of wrestling submissions, too.

[2473] The one he put Ricardo Almeida with, he put him out.

[2474] Remember that?

[2475] Ricardo, he got him in the Schultz headlock.

[2476] And he just fucking cranked it down, did it beautiful, and put them out.

[2477] And Al May didn't even know.

[2478] He didn't even know he was in danger.

[2479] He didn't even freak out.

[2480] So strong.

[2481] Yeah, it's ridiculous.

[2482] So I remember watching when he first started fighting in the UFC.

[2483] I'm just like, man, these guys are coming, man. I always knew they were around.

[2484] I always knew from my time in wrestling, there was always guys that would go to the States and watch the best guys in the States go out of the division champions.

[2485] So fast and just so flexible.

[2486] when I was a sophomore, when I was a sophomore in high school, we had one kid that was in like national level, who smoked cigarettes too, by the way.

[2487] Yeah, Mark Colling.

[2488] And he was a great fucking guy, like a really intense, passionate dude.

[2489] And I remember one time, I believe the coach's name was Hurwitz.

[2490] I believe it was Hurwitz, and the other guy was, fuck, the Irish, fuck, I can't remember his name.

[2491] I'll send you a...

[2492] But hold on, hold on.

[2493] But this Mark Colling guy would have this fucking crazy practice, and everybody would be dying, hands on their knees, and Colling would run across the fucking room and slide down on his knees and go, come on, let's go, who's next?

[2494] And just wanted to keep wrestling, wanted to keep going, wanted to keep drilling.

[2495] And the coach pointed at him, and he goes...

[2496] there's guys like that in every weight class.

[2497] He goes, you better get that in your head.

[2498] There's guys like that in every weight class.

[2499] And I remember realizing myself, you know, being 14 years old or whatever I was, you know, it was either 14 or 15.

[2500] And I was looking at him and I was going, my God, like this.

[2501] Yeah, you got to know.

[2502] You got to know that there's dudes out there that are willing to take it like that.

[2503] They're willing to go that far.

[2504] Coach Murphy, that was the Irish guy.

[2505] And Murphy was always trying to get me to play football.

[2506] I'm like, bitch, are you crazy?

[2507] I'm a small person.

[2508] No way, football.

[2509] There was a dude on our wrestling team that was also playing football.

[2510] His name was Bob Baker.

[2511] He was 300 fucking pounds in high school.

[2512] Yeah, you were playing against those guys.

[2513] Forget it.

[2514] Yeah, and I wrestled 134.

[2515] This fucking giant dude somehow had another squash on top of me. Fuck that, man. And hitting you with it.

[2516] Oh, my God.

[2517] I tried football for one season.

[2518] I was so afraid.

[2519] Seeing these huge guys run at me, I was like, I'm fucking.

[2520] So dangerous, man. I was made of paper.

[2521] It's such a dangerous sport.

[2522] I mean, people love it and everything like that.

[2523] but charging into guys full clip.

[2524] Dude, your head's not made for that.

[2525] My 14 -year -old nephew is 185 pounds, and he's 6 '1", and he squats 285 for reps. Okay, he's 14.

[2526] He's a giant.

[2527] Jesus.

[2528] And he plays football.

[2529] And I watched him play JV.

[2530] He's only 14.

[2531] And I watched those kids hit each other, and I was like, nobody's head's built for this.

[2532] I told his dad, I go, look, he's a monster.

[2533] Get him out of there.

[2534] Get him out of there.

[2535] Get him into fighting.

[2536] He plays guitar.

[2537] Let him play guitar.

[2538] They don't even know how bad the damage is.

[2539] He was a wide receiver.

[2540] He wasn't even a lineman or a running back.

[2541] I have a friend who was a lineman and he said back in the day when he was to play in college, they didn't allow you to use your hands.

[2542] So you couldn't push guys.

[2543] You would slam head -to -head with guys?

[2544] Is that true?

[2545] Does that make any sense?

[2546] No, you always use your hands.

[2547] You always use your hands.

[2548] Always?

[2549] Is there anything different than what you couldn't do?

[2550] Because he was telling me that people would spike guys in the chest.

[2551] The big difference is that now in football, you can't have helmet -to -helmet contact.

[2552] You can't do it deliberately.

[2553] So if you hit somebody, you tackle somebody, a lot of guys used to run at you, and they'd hit you with their helmet in the head.

[2554] Okay, were you always allowed to use your hands and push guys, or were you going to have to block guys?

[2555] Do you have to block them?

[2556] On the line, you can use your hands.

[2557] But yeah, you typically held your hands this way.

[2558] But what are the rules?

[2559] Can you grab a guy and fucking judo his ass in the ground?

[2560] When you're on offense, you cannot do that.

[2561] You can't.

[2562] On defense, can you?

[2563] No holding on offense.

[2564] On defense.

[2565] Defense, you can grab and move.

[2566] You can pull people out of the way.

[2567] So on defense, if a dude's coming at you, you can judo his ass?

[2568] Yes.

[2569] Really?

[2570] You can grab his clothes and fucking hip toss him?

[2571] Yeah, but it's really hard to do because those guys know what the fuck they're doing.

[2572] Yeah, no shit, right?

[2573] That's one of the craziest things when you see some nutty running back, one of those fucking freaks, one of those incredible specimens.

[2574] And I remember this one.

[2575] Adrian Peterson.

[2576] Dudes were trying to get a hold of him and he's spinning.

[2577] He keeps spinning.

[2578] Adrian Peterson.

[2579] They try to get a hold of him and he just spins out of their hands.

[2580] Google Adrian Peterson sprinting with his shirt off.

[2581] There's a commercial.

[2582] And just take a look at the physicality.

[2583] A guy who's so fast.

[2584] He runs, I think, 27.

[2585] miles an hour or something like 28.

[2586] What is the human athlete going to look like 100 years from now?

[2587] Because a lot of things going on, like Venus and Serena Williams, okay, they're going to have sex and they're going to make a baby.

[2588] And I can only hope they have sex with some Olympic athlete motherfucker and we see what's possible.

[2589] And everybody just keeps doing that to the point where it just becomes the number one seed on the planet Earth and just see what is possible with this human form.

[2590] It's not going to come to that because we're going to have two things.

[2591] You're going to have...

[2592] Training methods, of course, and nutrition and all that.

[2593] Nanobots and shit, genetic engineering.

[2594] Yeah, science is going to step in and take care of everything that nature came up with.

[2595] Gene -goping, gene manipulation.

[2596] Myostat inhibitors, all those things.

[2597] If we think that the stock market crash is a wake -up call, wait until the genetic crash comes.

[2598] We're going to have 400 -pound linemen, 500 -pound linemen.

[2599] We're going to have fucking women that are 10 feet tall squashing men on the head.

[2600] Can't wait!

[2601] Could you imagine if some woman became a mad, crazy man -hater and they genetically engineered a way for her to be like a chack of the giants?

[2602] How big are her tits?

[2603] Giant tits, huge.

[2604] What are you going to do?

[2605] Are you going to fuck her with your tiny little dick?

[2606] Smother me!

[2607] She's going to use you like a dildo and just grab you by your little asshole and stuff you inside her pussy.

[2608] Could you imagine if you could just decide, I want to be a 10 -foot tall woman because men have been fucking with me. I'm just going to walk around kicking guys in the balls and shove them.

[2609] Well, meshing with other animals, your genetic structure with other animals, that's what's interesting.

[2610] The idea is can you stop that technology from getting to that point and can you keep it out of the hands of a person who would use it for a terrible thing?

[2611] Probably not.

[2612] Probably not, right?

[2613] You think everything would evolve.

[2614] Look at this.

[2615] I mean, there's laptops that we sit and use.

[2616] phone your phone has like so much more power than anything that existed in the 1960s but but everybody's gonna have access to it so everything right come up together just like computers right but will there come a time where we have to stop people from becoming 10 foot tall attack of the giant women stomping on dudes and shit i mean what could you imagine if they're the manipulation of actual physical life if it actually gets to a point where you can design what you want to look like and like you can say mom dad i've decided to be one of the blue people from avatar and you just decided the pentagon is definitely trying to figure out ways to create super soldiers, whether it's cloning or tissue regeneration.

[2617] Yeah, but I mean, forget about super soldiers.

[2618] How about things that don't even exist?

[2619] You can make things, you can become a dragon.

[2620] I want to be a dragon.

[2621] That's what Craig Venter, the guy who created that synthetic biology, Craig Venter's team, the implications are in 20 years.

[2622] In which one is this?

[2623] Is this the guy who had, that's made out of metal, or is he the guy with a silkworm?

[2624] No, he just created basically a synthetic, form of bacteria that was basically whose genetic blueprint was created on a computer.

[2625] It's synthetic biology.

[2626] And the idea is that anything you can conceive of, a human being can make.

[2627] Do you know that scientists have been able to grow sperm in a laboratory dish?

[2628] Yes, I do.

[2629] Your time is up, son.

[2630] I know.

[2631] Our time on this planet, as men, we will no longer be useful.

[2632] It's just that biology is going to be an antiquated machine.

[2633] Well, somehow or another, it's going to be controlled by technology.

[2634] It's going to be some mad rush to see who can dominate whatever aspect of this new reality comes up.

[2635] Yeah.

[2636] Because if there's no morality and there's no humans that are in control of it, clearly it's going to get to a point where it's going to be wild, wild west for genetic manipulation.

[2637] Yeah, but also the idea is if you're going to live that long, what does that say about your earning power?

[2638] You've got to make a lot of...

[2639] Fucking money for a long time.

[2640] You know that Apple's got, you know, we're not going to be able to, we're not going to need to charge our phones anymore.

[2641] They have fuel cells.

[2642] What?

[2643] That shit's going to blow up on your dick.

[2644] They have a patent for fuel cells and every two weeks you'll take a...

[2645] You trust that, man?

[2646] An oxygen car system and it'll be set for two weeks.

[2647] What?

[2648] I'm going to pee.

[2649] Really?

[2650] It's going to be that crazy?

[2651] Yep.

[2652] Why don't you just hold your pee and we'll wrap this bitch up.

[2653] Do you guys know LA -based comic Angelo Bowers?

[2654] No. He died today.

[2655] I don't know if you know him.

[2656] He hung out at the comedy store a lot and stuff like that.

[2657] I don't know the exact details, but I think he might have been in a car with another friend of ours who we talked about earlier in the podcast, Josh Adam Myers, and maybe a drunk driver hit him.

[2658] But I don't know if that's real.

[2659] Do you have a picture?

[2660] Yeah.

[2661] I don't know.

[2662] That sucks.

[2663] That sucks.

[2664] Oh, let's say rest in peace to Fat James, too.

[2665] I don't know that dude, but Fat...

[2666] Well, maybe I might have met him before.

[2667] I'm not sure.

[2668] But Fat James, I knew very well.

[2669] You remember Fat James from the Comedy Store?

[2670] I sure do.

[2671] He was one of the first people I met in Los Angeles.

[2672] No, he looks like Andrew Dice Clay, but squished and fat.

[2673] He was a jolly guy.

[2674] Very nice guy.

[2675] Yeah, he passed away, unfortunately.

[2676] But he was a great dude.

[2677] So rest in peace, Fat James.

[2678] Thank you to Brian Callum for coming by, brother.

[2679] Thank you.

[2680] Thank you for having me. You're always, like, whenever I think, you know, you're just like Joey Diaz and Burt Kreischer or Duncan Trussell.

[2681] Whenever I think you're out of interesting shit to talk about, you come with a wave of new things.

[2682] And I swear, man, when you were talking about the Holocaust, I've always been aware of the Holocaust, of course, but there's something about the way you were describing it that it was shining like some extra light on how fucking crazy and barbaric it was.

[2683] It really, like, you were saying it so eloquently.

[2684] It really made me...

[2685] me like really tune into how chaotic and sane and disgusting and horrific it really was yeah it really was and and important to keep in mind also the lesson of the holocaust is that it can happen again in some form or another human beings when you give people power over you, they'll take advantage of it.

[2686] And it sounds melodramatic, but something like the NDAA actually does that.

[2687] It's not what the Constitution...

[2688] It's certainly the first step.

[2689] It's not how it was founded.

[2690] The people who founded this country knew that shit could go wrong, and so they had a bunch of things in place.

[2691] And one of the things that Benjamin Franklin said, and you should never forget this, that he who would sacrifice liberty for security deserves neither.

[2692] That's a good way to end this podcast.

[2693] I love that.

[2694] Say that again.

[2695] He who would sacrifice liberty for security deserves neither.

[2696] Outstanding.

[2697] They knew back then, man, someone's going to play a shell game on you, man. Outstanding.

[2698] They're going to tell you, there's some bad people out there.

[2699] We need to look at your email to protect you from them.

[2700] That's right.

[2701] Those fucks, get your own porn.

[2702] Thank you to...

[2703] Liberty.

[2704] Liberty.

[2705] Liberty and justice for all.

[2706] One of the most important things that people forget.

[2707] Individual liberty, too.

[2708] That's in the goddamn Constitution.

[2709] All right?

[2710] It's in the Bill of Rights.

[2711] It's in the idea.

[2712] this country was founded on they got away from a system that sucked and they said let's make one for the fucking people by the people for the people by the people and now it's become for the corporations and lobbying groups and lobbying groups and cunts it's for the cunts and you just stop the cunts We could be okay.

[2713] Four little words.

[2714] Statue of Liberty, Fleshlight.

[2715] Stop the cunts.

[2716] I'm going to start fucking training.

[2717] I'm going to go to Nick Diaz's camp and just start boxing.

[2718] They'll kill you.

[2719] Oh, they will?

[2720] They'll kill you.

[2721] No, they'll be nice to me, sure.

[2722] I'll make them laugh.

[2723] Thank you to the Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast, as always.

[2724] Everything we sponsor, everything always.

[2725] We will never sponsor anything that we don't believe in.

[2726] And both Brian and I, and even Brian Cowan, have fucked these things.

[2727] And I'm telling you, it's way better than beating off.

[2728] And you know you're going to beat off.

[2729] Stop playing games.

[2730] Just go ahead and order one.

[2731] when you're nutting your little fake vagina thing and you're like, you'll be like, Joe Rogan was right.

[2732] This is awesome.

[2733] I usually go, I got the fucking crazy silverback when I come.

[2734] I sound like I stubbed my toe.

[2735] I'm like, oh, fuck my toe.

[2736] I like to let chicks know it's in them.

[2737] Before you end, quickly, Jimmy Burke, I heard him having sex one time and he goes, oh, oh, God.

[2738] Bless America!

[2739] That's what he did when he blew.

[2740] That's Jimmy Burke.

[2741] I was like, Jesus, Jim.

[2742] Thank you to Onnit .com, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood.

[2743] All different types of supplements for different things.

[2744] Alpha Brain is a cognitive -enhancing supplement.

[2745] New Mood is a serotonin -boosting supplement.

[2746] And then, of course, Shroom Tech Sport is the one that's for people who are seriously into working out.

[2747] If you're not, skip that.

[2748] And then Shroom Tech Immune is...

[2749] a fascinating one where it fires up your immune system because it recognizes the mushroom that you're eating as some sort of a possible threat.

[2750] And then it gears up for a fight that never takes place, leaving you with a charged immune system.

[2751] Pretty wicked, from what I understand.

[2752] But I don't understand any of this shit.

[2753] I'm just talking out of my ass.

[2754] I just work here.

[2755] If you go to JoeRogan .net, click on the link, enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 10 % off all that shit.

[2756] And always, everything on it is 100 % money back guarantee.

[2757] If you don't like it, just fucking...

[2758] Tell us and you get your money back.

[2759] You don't even have to send in the product.

[2760] And on top of that, if you like the idea of it, if you think it costs too much money, please buy it in bulk.

[2761] Find the ingredient list online.

[2762] It's in the exact dose and make it yourself.

[2763] I am much more concerned with people not feeling ripped off.

[2764] I don't really care if you buy it or not.

[2765] Buy it, don't buy it, but if you want to buy it, get it at onnit .com, O -N -N -I -T.

[2766] Holla!

[2767] Okay, January 27th, the Chicago Theater is still not quite sold out.

[2768] The whole bottom is gone.

[2769] Now they opened up a new top layer, so there's still some tickets left.

[2770] It's going to be me, Duncan Trussell, and Joey Diaz.

[2771] dream.

[2772] That's the day before the UFC in Chicago.

[2773] The Chicago Theater is actually where the weigh -ins are.

[2774] So we're going to go there for the weigh -ins.

[2775] I'm going to emcee the weigh -ins.

[2776] Then we've got a show that night.

[2777] Should be a bitchin' time.

[2778] One -two combo, too.

[2779] Duncan Trussell and Joey Diaz.

[2780] We've got a show Friday also at the Ice House.

[2781] Powerful.

[2782] Am I in that?

[2783] Yeah.

[2784] Oh, that's right.

[2785] Yeah, Friday the Ice House, bitches.

[2786] And the Ice House Chronicles, which is only available on Death Squad, the Death Squad label on iTunes.

[2787] It's free, as always.

[2788] All of our podcasts are free.

[2789] We're committed.

[2790] You will never see my podcast cost you money.

[2791] It's just always going to be this.

[2792] There's some ads in there, and some of them are a little hokey, and some are a little verbose, but whatever, bitch.

[2793] You don't have to buy anything.

[2794] Why am I...

[2795] Why am I justifying anything?

[2796] I just want to tell everybody, thank you, everybody who came out for New Year's, because it was a fucking awesome vibe in the room, man. And I had a great fucking time, and I appreciate the shit out of all of you people.

[2797] There's never been a time ever in my life where I had people that would come to see my shows that get me more.

[2798] You know, I mean, having this sort of a...

[2799] Don't you feel like that too now?

[2800] I love it.

[2801] Brian Callum was just telling me about this because of the podcast.

[2802] People know who the fuck he is.

[2803] They understand him now.

[2804] And it's just the coolest resource ever.

[2805] And we appreciate the fuck out of you guys.

[2806] I just want to let you know we've tuned in to a really awesome group of human beings out there.

[2807] And every one of my shows, people say that.

[2808] All the waitstaffs are always saying how generous everybody is and how nice everybody is and how smart everybody is and there's no douchebags.

[2809] And that means the world to me. That means everything.

[2810] That means we're putting out the right vibe.

[2811] You guys are giving out the right vibe.

[2812] It's spreading, you dirty hookers.

[2813] And that's it.

[2814] Follow Brian Callen on Twitter.

[2815] B -R -Y -A -N Callen.

[2816] And Brian Reichel is, of course, Red Band.

[2817] R -E -D -B -A -N.

[2818] Hello!

[2819] Later!

[2820] That's it.

[2821] We'll see you, Dirty Freaks, most likely Thursday with some fantastic new guest.

[2822] Not sure who.

[2823] We're going to try to fit a girl in.

[2824] Oh, that one girl.

[2825] We need to get a girl in.

[2826] We haven't had a girl in a while.

[2827] Chicks are complaining.

[2828] Girls have things to say to you.

[2829] And, of course, Kelly Carlin, too, who's George Carlin's daughter.

[2830] I want to get her in.

[2831] as well um yeah comes highly recommended by kevin smith he said it was she was awesome and um other than that uh that's it friday night uh at the ice house will sell out is a very small place it's only 85 seats and we do it all the time and it's going to be the best of the best whoever's in town you in town friday night i am not in town bitch where you at on the road All right, well, whoever's there, it's always like Joey Diaz, Doug Benson.

[2832] There's a lot of great comics there.

[2833] I'll be there at the next one.

[2834] Then you'll be there at the next one.

[2835] All right.

[2836] This fucking show's over.

[2837] Thank you very much for everything.

[2838] All you guys, we're on this thing together.

[2839] Ride it.

[2840] Ride it.

[2841] Suck it.

[2842] Bye.

[2843] you