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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Hello.
[17] Hi.
[18] Welcome to the podcast where we...
[19] do her many Epist Oh The whole time Oh my God How I don't like that be That was like a horrible acting class Exercise Yeah Where you have to do that for like a half an hour Or someone How does this make me cry about Like, you know The death of a thing In acting Death of a Salesman How does this make me cry about the death of a salesman?
[20] It's because it's of all the shame you feel for having done it on cute yeah you think back and you're like oh my god i actually i walked through honey that was the one they always did in my movement class through honey you had to like pretend you were walking through you know what i mean like shit like that where i just be like i can't do this i have to leave does it work does it make you better no uh it just is like people who are willing to act like yeah a praying mantis right there's like like there's like there are people who are willing We act like a praying man who's out there, and then there are people who aren't.
[21] And then there are people who understand how lame it is, and it has no connection to actual acting.
[22] And it's merely time waste or shit for acting school.
[23] Ooh, I'm on one tonight.
[24] It is getting political tonight.
[25] Send all your hate mail theater kids to whoever to your parents, because we don't care.
[26] We don't even care.
[27] We're bullies.
[28] That's right.
[29] kids hey this is my favorite murder minisode we read you back your emails where you tell us your hometown murders you're like adjacent murders you're near misses did you get your haircut no is it short it just looks like a real good shape right now does that thank you yeah no it's growing out so as yours i was thinking really i think i might be out of the rachel phase your hair grew out you got the good bang swoop going really thank you i did blow it out a little bit because I'm just so tired of looking like the woman from behind the dumpster in Mulholland Falls.
[30] I know it even.
[31] Mulholland Drive.
[32] Mulholland Falls is a Mulholland Drive and something falls mix.
[33] What is it?
[34] Nicknulty.
[35] Yeah, forget it.
[36] It wasn't very good.
[37] Well, we look great tonight.
[38] Yeah, I mean, tonight on the record, guys, the hair is happening.
[39] I washed my hair.
[40] That's probably what's different about it.
[41] my tail.
[42] Oh my God.
[43] It's like we're in regular society humans.
[44] This is the kind of commitment you can expect from Georgia and myself on this podcast.
[45] We will clean ourselves for you.
[46] And when we're, so these are all, we're going to, we're going to Texas this week and for live shows.
[47] Right.
[48] And so these are hometown murders from Texas.
[49] Texas.
[50] We promise to bathe ourselves at least once this weekend all we're there.
[51] Squeaky clean.
[52] We'll do, I mean, we'll do our best to be.
[53] Yeah.
[54] At least one of us will bathe yeah if we can't both do it we'll do a tag team yeah type of system yeah and then i'll do the other one i'll use a lot of dry shampoo uh you want me to go first absolutely okay this says the subject line is elmer wayne henley confessed on my granddad's car phone wait shut up holy shit we just did We just did fucking Dean Corral.
[55] Coral.
[56] Dean Coral.
[57] Right.
[58] And, oh my God.
[59] Yeah.
[60] Mama, I killed Dean.
[61] Ready.
[62] Oh, my God.
[63] Yes.
[64] Okay.
[65] Hey, Karen of Georgia.
[66] My family is from a neighborhood just outside of the Heights in Houston.
[67] Yeah.
[68] Garden Oaks.
[69] So I was especially disturbed by this week's story, which is your story he's talking about.
[70] At the time, at the time when the abductions were happening, my dad would have been the same age as a lot of the young boys who were killed my granddad jack cato was also a crime reporter for channel two in case you we're talking about this is the this is the serial killer dean coral aka the candy man um we did it a couple episodes back and he is horrifying a monster he killed 30 something boys somewhere boys like teenage and younger boys horrifying yeah okay so the granddad jack cato is a crime reporter for channel two the local station in the 70s so he says so i couldn't help but wonder if he had covered those murders and how awful that must have been.
[71] Then y 'all got to the confession part and I jumped off the couch, freaking the crap out of my dog.
[72] I have heard this story a million times.
[73] That's because when Elmer Wayne Henley confessed to his mom, Mama, I killed D. He was using my granddad's car phone.
[74] It's in a video you can watch.
[75] Really?
[76] Yeah, on YouTube, there's a video of him doing that.
[77] Oh, it's so good.
[78] Okay.
[79] My granddad died in 2006 when I was a senior in high school.
[80] This was such a big moment in his reporting career.
[81] They included it in his obituaries over 30 years later.
[82] Hell yeah, they did.
[83] He was on the scene.
[84] According to this one, my granddad handed Henley the car phone, knowing that he would be able to hear the whole conversation.
[85] Then he grabbed the camera, started filming, and cut the infamous confession on tape.
[86] If it's not too weird to say, it warmed my heart to be reminded of another part of my grandparent.
[87] dad's amazing life on one of my favorite podcasts, even if it was about a truly gruesome murder story from my hometown, uh, from one anxious, depressed person who loves her therapist to another all around, hello, stay sexy and don't get murdered.
[88] X -O -Xo Genovee.
[89] Oh, my God.
[90] That's awesome.
[91] I, for some reason at the beginning, assume this was from a guy and said he at the beginning, but, um, that is so epic.
[92] Uh, kill D. Mom.
[93] And they have the other, they have her side of the conversation on and that must be why that must be he got it.
[94] He had it all hooked up.
[95] Yeah.
[96] That is so legendary.
[97] She's crying.
[98] He's crying.
[99] Jesus Christ.
[100] Wow.
[101] Thank you, Genevieve.
[102] Yeah.
[103] Well, I have a Dean Coral story too.
[104] Do you really?
[105] This says, this been could have met the candy man. Hello, Karen, Georgia Stephen and esteemed associates.
[106] Elvis, that's you.
[107] That's my favorite one so far.
[108] Elvis, go get your briefcase.
[109] Steamed Associates.
[110] Love the show.
[111] Love you guys.
[112] Can't wait to see you in Dallas in November.
[113] In 1973, when I was 12 years old, my mother and I lived in an apartment complex in the North Houston neighborhood of Spring Branch.
[114] My best friend Craig, also 12, and his older brother, Robert, 14, lived the next complex over.
[115] We were all latchkey kids, so we usually spent the two and a half hours between school and dinner doing pretty much anything but homework.
[116] The complex had a large courtyard that faced the street, and we hung out there a lot, farting around the way boys do at that age.
[117] yep teenagers salami and cheese salami and cheese sandwiches on wipe bread with mustard right that's boys in the 70s that's it one afternoon not long before the last day of school we were throwing a football around when a guy pulled up in a van he got out and walked over to where we were playing looking up at the second floor apartments like he was trying to find his way around he was older than us probably 17 or so and we didn't pay any attention to him until he walked up and started talking to us he was really nice tallish and thin with a long brown, wait, with long blonde hair and wire -in glasses.
[118] Just said hi and started shooting the shit, talking about football.
[119] Robert, my friend's brother, spoke with him the most probably because he was older.
[120] The blonde guy invited Robert to a party, telling him there would be lots of girls there and that there'd be plenty of beer and food, even some weed if he wanted.
[121] Robert basically said, no thanks.
[122] Both he and Craig were from a pretty religious family, and then the guy turned to me. What about you?
[123] He said, come on.
[124] and it'll be fun.
[125] I remember feeling that weird tingle in my stomach.
[126] I'll never forget it.
[127] I have felt it a few times since, but this was the first time.
[128] Something was off.
[129] I was always a shy kid, so I looked at the ground and said something about how my mom wouldn't let me, and I'd get in trouble if I did, which was absolutely true.
[130] Besides, I was 12 years old.
[131] I didn't even really like girls that much, and yet I damn sure wasn't interested in beer and pot.
[132] He didn't seem mad or irritated.
[133] He just said something along the lines of, that's too bad, man. Catch you next time.
[134] And he got in his and drove off.
[135] And that was it until a few months later when I saw his picture on TV.
[136] I recognized him right away.
[137] His name was David Brooks.
[138] He and Elmer Wayne Henley assisted serial killer Dean Coral for years by procuring boys for Coral to rape, torture, and murder, then Barry in a boatshed and benches.
[139] I remember during my teen years really resenting my mom's strictness, but then I would remember that it was likely the very strictness that kept me off the torture board attended to by the Candyman and i'll cut her some slack thanks for listening stay sexy and never ever ever get in the van yours glen oh my god dude it's so creepy yeah like but you could just do that back then yes it it's like wandering hippies starting up conversations was totally der bergur no one even thought about it like that they would want to talk to young kids would make sense.
[140] Yeah.
[141] I know.
[142] Thank God those boys were like that's together and smart.
[143] Then religious like that alone, I feel like saved them from doing anything.
[144] Because they knew Satan was in their presence.
[145] They could feel him.
[146] Yeah.
[147] They could feel Satan.
[148] Amen.
[149] Um, Mama.
[150] Mama.
[151] Mama.
[152] Mama killed Dean.
[153] Okay.
[154] Uh, this one's subject line is single fishnet stark.
[155] Single fishnet.
[156] You got it.
[157] You got it.
[158] You Got this.
[159] Keep going.
[160] Single fishnet stocking, jumper cables, and a lawnmower.
[161] Uh -oh.
[162] That sounds like a kill kit.
[163] Right.
[164] Hey, ladies, new binge listening fan here, also third generation cop, and the daughter of a homicide investigator.
[165] What?
[166] Hello, fucked up childhood fascinations.
[167] What's that badass, motherfucker?
[168] Yeah, I mean, really.
[169] Okay, I grew up in a small Texas town north of Dallas where stupid kids shooting BB guns into City Hall is about the only excitement.
[170] Oh, my God.
[171] that's so badass what the fuck kind of town and child does that hey i'm going to go shoot okay i'm sorry just excessively bored like they're trying to draw people out of the building shooting into city hall yeah that's my favorite okay um it sounds like everyone has a great sense of humor in this town okay so one morning my mother was returning home from dropping my younger sister off at school when she comes up on a man slumped over the steering wheel of a lawnmower it's a trap don't go near don't go near it's a scarecrow who is driving down the country road leading into town she thinks okay asshole it's a little early to be this fucking drunk but whatever and she honks the horn at the guy he lifts his head off the steering wheel and looks at her she realizes his face is covered in blood I thought it was going to be gone his face was gone I don't even know what that means but I thought you were going to say that how would his face even be gone his face is gone but he's still driving that lawnmower he's got to get that lawnmode And he's fucking drunk.
[172] Wouldn't you be if your face was going?
[173] That's right.
[174] If you don't feel it, you're just like the weekend.
[175] You don't feel your face.
[176] Um, okay.
[177] His face was covered in blood.
[178] He continues driving as his bloody ass begins to slide off the seat and sees he's naked.
[179] What?
[180] Yes.
[181] Podunk town, naked blood guy on a lawnmower driving toward town.
[182] Nothing to see here, right?
[183] She calls 911, turns the car around, making note of some random jumper cables lying in the street.
[184] Just for her for not getting out of the car and, like, helping him.
[185] Oh, hell no. And then uses her car to direct him toward the downtown area where the ambulance would be coming from.
[186] The medics discover he's completely nude except for a single fishnet stalking on one of his legs.
[187] And his toenails were painted.
[188] The man had been stabbed repeatedly.
[189] Turns out lawnmower man, as he's been coined in our family, took a little trip to Dallas where he met a male sex worker.
[190] He brought his new friend back to his house where they engaged in some rather interesting sexual exploits, including the victim being tied up.
[191] While the victim was tied up, the new friend sees this as the perfect opportunity to rob him and then proceeds to steal all his shit while he watches.
[192] Victim gets free.
[193] A scuffle ensues.
[194] The victim gets stabbed.
[195] A lot.
[196] Severely injured.
[197] He manages to make his way outside after grabbing a gun.
[198] He's able to get a shot off at the suspect, striking him in the ass before the suspect makes off with his vehicle, wallet, phone, and keys to the work truck he had.
[199] then he spots the lawnmower with the keys in the ignition climbs in the street finds the battery's dead dude somehow manages to get jumper cables from his work truck open the hood jump the lawnmower off all while steadily losing blood and keeping one fishnet stocking on police were able to locate the suspect by putting a police notice out to all area hospitals about an attempted murder suspect with a gunshot wound to the ass the victim somehow survives and the suspect is located at a hospital in Dallas Samantha oh that's it Dallas Samantha where's that she just ended it period she was just like I'm done I'm out Samantha that's the story I'm not telling you anymore fuck yeah Samantha that was crazy oh my god did you see that movie the straight story where the guy drives he's going to drive his kind of like small tractor across America or to go see his daughter or something no it's kind of like that but the like dirty bloody version of it It's the sexy version.
[200] Well, that's not shooting booby guns and booby guns?
[201] All right.
[202] Hey, this is exciting.
[203] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[204] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[205] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[206] Who killed Saz?
[207] And were they really after Charles?
[208] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[209] This season, murder hits close to home.
[210] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are high.
[211] higher than ever.
[212] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[213] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[214] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll.
[215] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[216] Only Martyrs in the building premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[217] Goodbye.
[218] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[219] Absolutely.
[220] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?
[221] Exactly.
[222] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[223] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[224] That's right.
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[226] Give your point of sales system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[227] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[228] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[229] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[230] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.
[231] Connect with customers in line and online.
[232] Do retail right with Shopify.
[233] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[234] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[235] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level.
[236] today.
[237] That's shopify .com slash murder.
[238] Goodbye.
[239] This is called, okay, there's little musical notes around this title subject.
[240] If You Want to Be a Killer.
[241] Oh, I get it.
[242] If you want to be.
[243] Okay.
[244] From what?
[245] I don't know.
[246] Let's sing it again.
[247] I don't want to.
[248] I think it's.
[249] Come on.
[250] I want to get with my friends.
[251] It's the.
[252] Oh, if you want to be my killer.
[253] Okay.
[254] I got.
[255] I guess.
[256] I could be wrong.
[257] If you want to.
[258] No, I'm probably wrong.
[259] Do you know the rap part of that song?
[260] yes I was I was a teenager absolutely not still trying to humiliate me on live podcasts I'm not do it do it um no maybe I'll surprise you one day I doda diga do big a do listen carefully listen carefully do it I'm blushing let's talk about murder okay hey y 'all because I was gonna murder that verse that's right hey y 'all first hey y 'all it's so thank you for making me laugh during my commute to my soul -sucking call center job you guys truly make traffic more bearable thank you I love to be like you guys got me through this thing and stuff below like I don't hate traffic anymore that's right here's my job suck fair I got that I get it here's my hometown attempted murder I live in the suburbs north of Dallas, and when I was in high school, I took German for four years.
[261] Truly a great and useful decision for someone who lives in Texas.
[262] When I was a freshman, there was a kid in my German class name, Edward, who was a true weirdo.
[263] He had really long nails when used them to shred up his graded papers after a teacher handed them out.
[264] Yeah, and he was mostly quiet except to say some weird or creepy shit every once in a while.
[265] Oh, what's up, Edward?
[266] Yes.
[267] One time, I think I dated this guy in high school.
[268] I would have been totally in love with Edward.
[269] He's so deep.
[270] I think.
[271] think he's part wolf one time he brought in a shoebox to class and when we all asked him what was in it he opened it to reveal a collection of animal skulls yep you're right what were you going to say it's like something like dead birds or whatever i was going to say fingernail clipping but it's animal skulls naturally since we were all like 15 we just made fun of him and would joke that he was going to be a serial killer one day uh -oh uh -oh later that summer my mom picked me up from camp and asked if I knew a kid named Edward who went to the same high school as me. Turns out that over the summer, he had tried to kill someone.
[272] He rang a door bow, and when a teenager who was at home alone opened the door, Edward shot him twice in the chest.
[273] Fuck!
[274] The kid pretended to be dead, and after Edward left, he was able to call 911 and get help.
[275] When he was caught, Edward apparently told the cops that he was playing a game called Ding Dong Die.
[276] That's not a real game.
[277] You made that up, Edward.
[278] It's Edward.
[279] You can't just say it something.
[280] things again.
[281] Yeah.
[282] And like the other person's not playing it.
[283] It's not, it's a one -sided game.
[284] Yeah.
[285] No one wants A, no one wants to play that game with you.
[286] Yeah.
[287] It, B, it sounds like a terrible movie from the 80s.
[288] Totally.
[289] It's like cornball, Edward.
[290] Yeah.
[291] Let's play.
[292] Okay.
[293] He also confessed to another attempted shooting that had happened a couple weeks earlier.
[294] Edward's, Edward confessed to the police that he had dreamed of becoming a serial killer, was interested in cannibalism, and wanted to make a tapestry of his victim's skin along with a lot of other wacky goals and dreams.
[295] We all have goals of dreams.
[296] I mean, Oprah says you have to have one passion in life.
[297] Mine is a tapestry.
[298] Luckily, he was sentenced to life in prison, and in the end, his victim fully recovered.
[299] I think...
[300] That's weird.
[301] That's good.
[302] Yeah.
[303] I think everyone in my class felt bad that we had never taken Edward's behavior seriously.
[304] Sorry, this is so long, but I hope you guys enjoy it.
[305] I can't wait to see you all in Dallas in November.
[306] Stay sexy and don't take German, Sydney.
[307] Oh, it's so true.
[308] Oh, God.
[309] I took French.
[310] Did you?
[311] Pointless.
[312] I took typing instead of a language.
[313] Oh, that's good.
[314] Is it?
[315] Yeah.
[316] I mean.
[317] I'm pretty fast.
[318] You're pretty fast, I'm very fast.
[319] We'll see you soon, Texas.
[320] That's really exciting.
[321] Thanks for sending those in.
[322] You can send your, you know, that doesn't have to be a murder.
[323] It could be like weird shit.
[324] Yeah.
[325] To my favorite murder at Gmail.
[326] And in the meantime, stay sexy.
[327] And don't get murdered.
[328] Bye If you want to be in my love Yes You gotta get with my friends Elvis You want to be a spice girl Want cookie Elvis?
[329] Elvis, you want cookie?
[330] There he is