E86: The Path of Initiation with Special Guest Hunter Toran

E86 Introduciton

In episode #83, The Myth of the Grail, I brought forth some of the initiatory themes that lie at the heart of the Grail. Living a life that is marked by initiation is one that allows a person to grow “slowly wise” to use the words of Wolfram Von Eschenbach.

In every persons life, there are countless small initiations and usually a few big ones. The big ones are marked with a big “BEFORE” and “AFTER” signs in your soul’s journey.

It can be a good exercise to take out a notebook and mark out your initiations large and small. It can help you see your Hero’s Journey with more clarity. I like to mark the initiation in one column and what you learned or how you are different now in the other column. And then ask yourself, what initiations still await my arrival?

To broaden your scope on this, a list of initiations might include things like getting your drivers license or having your parents get divorced when you were young. It definitely would include leaving home for good or the first time you fell in love. Something like military bootcamp is clearly an initiation. Moving to a strange city or country is also an initiation. Anything that marks a clear before and after for the soul qualifies as you will learn much about yourself and where you are going through these trials and tribulations.

I have spoken of my big initiations from time to time but I will mention a few of them again here. Like I said, it is good to know your own. To know when your Soul found a deeper, more truthful song for you.

For me, moving to NYC was an initiation. I had never even been there when I arrived and had grown up my whole life in the PNW. New York was a strange, powerful, scary new land where I would find new parts of myself that I didn‘t know I had. I became gutsier and more confident because of it.

Another big initiation, as you all know, was doing the Mankind Projects New Warrior Training. This was a clear “before Tony” and “after Tony”. I came out with a chestful of new tools: a mission I created (and then lived), knowledge of the male archetypes and how to access them, a deep appreciation of the tribe of men and my place in it. MKP gave me a Warrior’s fire and a container to express it. I would never go back to the overly nice, people-pleaser I was when I was younger. Between NYC and the New Warrior Training, I was finding all sorts of newfound inner power as a man.

The next big initiation was becoming a father. I was scared shitless waiting for Lucas to be born. All new fathers feel this (although few will admit it). It is an absolutely awesome, terrifying initiation to be brought into. My son arrived like some tiny force of nature. Divine, powerful, full of raw feeling and powerful vocal chords. He let me know, in no uncertain terms, that my old life was over. It has been a big, incredible initiation. One that I am grateful for every day.

My sobriety was another initiation for me. I know this is true for any addict or alcoholic who has taken on his or her recovery. Quitting drinking 8 years ago changed me. It was an initiation that I was never quite sure I was up to until one day it just happened. I stopped and I didn‘t die. And in my soul, I could feel the excitement that accompanied this new me. I knew it would lead to a hundred new great things if I could just stay with it. And it has! You’re listening to one of the gifts that was awaiting me once I crossed that threshold.

And my marriage to Lisa has certainly been an initiation. In a long-term relationship, you don‘t have anywhere to hide. Oh, you can try and I certainly do. But a life partner or soul mate will bring your love to a new level. It often won’t look the way you would like it to look but the alchemy of a long-term relationship is undeniable. You bring your strengths and your short-

Basecamp for Men E86: The Path of Initiation