#1547 - Colin Quinn

[0] Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

[1] The Joe Rogan Experience.

[2] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[3] Colin Quinn, I had a move to Texas to get you on this podcast.

[4] I tried forever to get you in L .A. You said, no chance.

[5] Not true.

[6] Oh, okay.

[7] Every time we see each other, we just, yeah.

[8] I was always like, yeah, I'll get out there one of those days.

[9] I'm glad I waited this long.

[10] It's kind of, I can savor.

[11] I can appreciate it.

[12] I'm savoring it right now.

[13] If I was on one of the first podcast, I'd be like, yeah, I was on Joe's and I was on this one.

[14] This is like, you know, you're getting the respect you deserve now.

[15] I see.

[16] What is it like in the lockdown for you?

[17] You still live in New York?

[18] Yeah, I live in New York.

[19] Is it weird?

[20] Yeah.

[21] I mean, it's, I was telling everybody, it's, you know, it's very, it's not like, people like, oh, it's like New York in the 70s.

[22] Now, the 70s was a whole different vibe.

[23] And, but now it's all boarded up stores.

[24] The store in my corner, like the corner of bodega, basically, just closed.

[25] and it was around for a long time and you know it's depressing like you're on the subway there's only a few people on and it still smells this bit they've been cleaning it every day and it still stinks it doesn't even smell better that's how ingrained it is and you know the pigeons are homeless because Antifa took down all the statues so they have no place to live and yeah it's a very it's a very weird place you can't say like people that say it's like the 70s like no the 70s it was like it was the 50s and the 60s and the 70s it didn't change much it was seedy and weird but it was always like that this is a drastic change from six months ago you can't say it's like the 70s because it's not it's like something's deteriorated there's a collapse right and then there's all this weirdness that comes along with that well the 70s was kind of a collapse but it was a different type so like in the 70s all the stores at night would be locked up But they were open during the day.

[26] So at night, if anybody was out after nine at night, that was on them.

[27] But I mean, but it was not like now, it's just 24.

[28] You're walking down deserted streets.

[29] There's nobody out.

[30] You know what I mean?

[31] Have you always lived in New York?

[32] Depressing.

[33] Yeah, yeah.

[34] So it was sketchy in the 70s.

[35] Oh, my God, yeah.

[36] I mean, I did a whole show about it, basically.

[37] But, I mean, it was basically, like, in part, one of the jokes from my own New York story was that, and it wasn't a joke.

[38] It was if you walked down your block, because there's no cell phone.

[39] So if you walked down the block.

[40] from the train after nine at night, people would lean out the window and be like genuinely surprised, like, good for you.

[41] You made it home.

[42] If you stayed out after nine, like Times Square, people would go to Broadway shows.

[43] By 11 o 'clock, it was deserted, except for criminals, because people would leave a Broadway show.

[44] They wouldn't go out for a drink or dinner.

[45] They would get in their car and get out immediately.

[46] And Giuliani's the one who cleaned all that shit up.

[47] Giuliani cleaned up, yeah.

[48] Isn't that amazing?

[49] The guy gets no respect now.

[50] No, I know.

[51] He went a little crazy, he really he he he did what no politician has ever done in any in history which is he said i'm going to transform this and he did he really did he really did maybe a little too far like at a certain point it may have been a little too far time square became like a mall yes time square is very uninspiring it became like a big apple bees but that's yeah that's exactly that's exactly what it's like and and you know even though like now i look back and i'm like oh taxi driver new york It was edgy.

[52] It was fun.

[53] But at the time, it was no joke.

[54] People, you know, I glamorized it through rose -colored glasses, but it was serious.

[55] Yeah, that's the thing about crime and crime -ridden areas.

[56] Like, people always glamorize it after the fact, but if you're living there while it's going down, it's fucking terrible.

[57] Yeah, yeah.

[58] I mean, most people love New York once he took over in the 90s, people forget that.

[59] Yeah.

[60] That everybody was just like, oh, I can go out at night.

[61] Oh, I can work.

[62] I can, you know, I mean, before that, it was, it was crazy.

[63] And I used to bartender around Times Square and I mean the stuff you saw you know was just brutal you what I mean well one of the things we're finding out from this lockdown is that it really is important who your mayor is it used to be important he didn't really care people didn't care who the mayor of L .A. was half the people didn't even know that's right and now they're like who is this motherfucker that's keeping everything closed yeah yeah and the same thing with New York oh yeah de Blasio from day one a lot of people like and now everybody hates it but this is his second term yes he got re -elected.

[64] Oh, he swept both elections.

[65] That's hilarious.

[66] You know?

[67] And now we're finding out.

[68] Yeah.

[69] Oh, he's a dipshit.

[70] Yeah.

[71] Just took, it took something where it's a crisis where you realize, like, this is not a leader.

[72] And everybody hated Bloomberg for running a third term.

[73] They wish they had him for fifth now.

[74] Yeah.

[75] Remember he's like, oh, he's forced him, so he's right, run for a third.

[76] Nobody misses, you know, a guy like him.

[77] Could he go back?

[78] Could he run again?

[79] Because he can't be president.

[80] No one's not going to vote for president.

[81] But, um, I don't know.

[82] He was so terrible in the debate.

[83] It's so funny because the thing about Bloomberg that disappointed me was when he was mayor, when he first got elected mayor, I was, uh, Daryl Hammond had to bail on some show he's supposed to do.

[84] So at the last minute, they asked me to do a favor or do a guest shot at the show, which I go up really didn't go that well, but it was, you know, I did when he was asked me to do.

[85] What kind of show?

[86] What was it?

[87] A stand -up show.

[88] But it was a stand -up show for Bloomberg?

[89] Yeah, Bloomberg was trying to get the, uh, the Olympics here or something.

[90] something.

[91] I think it was the Olympics.

[92] So he asked me to, you know, Dary was going to show and he had something else.

[93] So I ran over, you know, I lived in mid -town, I ran over, literally ran over, did the show in front of the Olympic Committee or whatever the committee was.

[94] I think it was in Olympics.

[95] And, you know, 30 people in this uncomfortable room.

[96] And then afterwards, Bloomberg shook my hand.

[97] And I knew he was already a billionaire.

[98] And he goes, I owe you one.

[99] I go, thanks.

[100] Thanks.

[101] He goes, no, no, no. I don't just say that.

[102] I always repay my debts.

[103] I owe you one.

[104] So I was kind of hoping to be president.

[105] And then I could call in my chair.

[106] shit because I never did the whole time he was mayor.

[107] I realized he was busy, I let it slide but he still owes you though, huh?

[108] Yeah.

[109] You got it on a ledge or somewhere?

[110] No, but I just have my oral, I believe in the oral history.

[111] Oh, yeah.

[112] I mean, I thought it came right out, didn't it?

[113] Yeah, yeah.

[114] He's not like...

[115] Oh, yeah.

[116] So maybe if he becomes mayor again.

[117] Can you become mayor again?

[118] How does that work?

[119] Can't be president again?

[120] Can you be mayor again?

[121] I guess you can.

[122] Yeah, why not?

[123] There's probably no lawyer.

[124] Well, Governor of California, that Jerry Brown guy, he became governor again.

[125] That's right.

[126] Yeah.

[127] So if he can be governing, you've got to be mayor.

[128] Like, he was governor in, like, the 90s, like the early 90s, I think.

[129] I think in the 80s.

[130] Because I think Johnny Costs, he should make those jokes.

[131] Yeah, copper smoke and crack.

[132] Didn't he win again in D .C. for being mayor?

[133] Yep.

[134] Yeah, Mary and Barry.

[135] Yeah.

[136] There you go.

[137] I wonder how many terms he did, though.

[138] I wonder if there's, like, a limit on how many terms you could be it.

[139] You're more politically minded than I am.

[140] I don't know that kind of stuff, though, no. How many terms can you be a mayor?

[141] Because someone like Bloomberg has got to come back in and clean New York City up because you're not going to get there with this social justice warrior attitude that de Blasio has.

[142] It's just going to lead to complete deterioration of that city.

[143] Yeah, but it may be too late.

[144] You never know.

[145] Too late.

[146] You never know.

[147] I mean, nobody likes to think in New York that way.

[148] But it's like a lot of people, so many people moved that I was shocked moved to the suburbs that I was like, wow, this is serious.

[149] Like, I didn't really believe it.

[150] Just because I'm so New York, like, I just, I don't even think in terms of leaving New York, even though, you know, it's irrevocably changed to me before any of this happened, but so many people moved out, I was like, this is getting serious.

[151] What did you think about that alterature, Jerry Seinfeld will feud about New York is dead.

[152] Fuck, you know it's not.

[153] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[154] I mean, look, you can argue either side of it and be right.

[155] You know what I mean?

[156] Like, I don't want it to be dead, but at the same time, I'm not going to pretend it's not in deep trouble.

[157] Yeah.

[158] So, I mean, I just don't know how it gets out.

[159] That's what my worry is.

[160] I know.

[161] Unless COVID gets cured.

[162] And then Ari Shafir thinks artists are going to start moving in again.

[163] But he's one of those guys.

[164] Right.

[165] He's got that, you know, because you need to be gritty.

[166] New York City needs to be gritty.

[167] Right.

[168] He's one of those guys.

[169] Yeah.

[170] Never been mugged.

[171] That's why.

[172] Never really had the fuck beat out of them.

[173] Yeah.

[174] You do need a couple of those in life.

[175] He just need to know that it's possible.

[176] Just need to be like, ow.

[177] What does gritty mean to you?

[178] Let me tell you.

[179] It ain't a. fucking it's not midnight cowboy that's a movie yeah real gritty is you get stabbed and then it gets infected yeah and then you're in the hospital for six months yeah you need to at least ever had had regretted laughing because you're holding your broken rib at least for six weeks in a row you're like is this ever going to get better yeah it's um that gritty shit is like boy yeah i i see what you're saying i kind of get i know yeah some places that are gritty they're fun yeah no it's it's fun and like i said when i'm watching taxi drive.

[180] I'm like, yeah, I miss New York.

[181] But I mean, I would walk, I remember walking through Times Square.

[182] We don't even have to ask what I was doing.

[183] At 12 o 'clock at night, by myself, 1980, and literally, they had like thieves dens above the porno theaters.

[184] They had thieves dens.

[185] So, like, they go through, they had a little turnstile.

[186] I went in one once with this kid.

[187] He was taking me in there, I forget we were trying to do something shady, I'm sure.

[188] And we went up, and it was like 50, like thieves.

[189] like Oliver, only New York.

[190] Really?

[191] Like a gang of people with illegal goods, trading illegal goods, right on 42nd Street.

[192] Wow.

[193] It was crazy.

[194] You see gangs running down.

[195] If anybody was, they would just swarm somebody, take their stuff, leave them on the ground, and just keep going.

[196] The thing about it is, though, the disrespect to the police right now, it leads it to a very difficult situation of trying to bring it back.

[197] it's like that didn't that wasn't the case in the 80s of the 90s people respected the police like when they when Giuliani brought it back there wasn't this overall nationwide resentment of the police force like we're having now which is pretty unprecedented well I mean there sort of was in New York actually at that time there's a couple of incidents where you know but yes not like this this is a different this is a luxury that people are able to indulge themselves by by putting all you know lightning rod sort of you know I mean like the police to me it's like a proxy war you know what I mean everybody knows cops everybody knows cops and nuts we all had the friend that you grew up with you like whatever happened to him he became a cop he became a cop but but you know no one denies that part I'm even cops know that about themselves but that being said it's easy for everybody to just go okay like I say proxy war so all the bottled up racial resentment in the country and it's like the people that have to actually go and say hey listen here's what has to happen they're going to be the they're going to be the fall guy for that and that's you know what I mean that's what this is in my opinion well you know what it is it's like social media only captures the things that are viral right with the things that you're going to watch are only going to be viral and the ones that go viral are the ones that are really bad yeah I mean nobody wants to see no there's no viral videos of a cop pulling a guy over and having a laugh with them and so listen man you're going 63 and a 55 just do me a favor slow it down all right sir i'm a big fan of the police thank you sir appreciate you appreciate shake your hand bye take care no you instead you have some yeah asshole grabbing some black woman and pulling her out of the car and body slamming her and you like these motherfuckers they keep doing this right but you could have millions of interactions with cops yeah and you're only going to see one and you decide that all cops are pieces of shit when there's these hundreds of thousands of cops that are great guys They're just doing a really difficult job and trying to keep it together, but one or two a week is going to go bad.

[198] And that's all you need to know.

[199] And everybody thinks that the world is falling apart because you see those videos and those videos get two, three, four, five million downloads.

[200] And everybody just thinks that all cops are terrible people.

[201] And it's just, it's not the case.

[202] Right.

[203] No, exactly.

[204] But try telling people that and they think you're a cop apologist.

[205] Yeah, they say you're a piece of shit.

[206] Yeah, you're a white supremacist.

[207] Right, right, right.

[208] Yeah.

[209] Stand down and stand by.

[210] that's right what the fuck was that what Trump I tell the white supremacists to stand down and stand by and it's one of those moments where you're like you know it it's basically the like the one thing you wouldn't it reminds me like not like Nero fiddling while Rome burns I feel like it's when all the Roman Senate is going so what are you going to do now and he starts taking the fiddle out of the case and like no he's not going to fucking is he going to fiddle right this is really fiddling right but he did You were saying earlier, we were talking outside, that he had just called the KKK.

[211] What did he just...

[212] I didn't say that.

[213] Somebody else was out there saying that.

[214] He called him a terrorist group, right?

[215] Didn't he say that?

[216] I don't know.

[217] Was that the case, Jamie?

[218] Someone out there was saying, someone in the law...

[219] I forget who said it.

[220] He called the KKK a terrorist group like the week before, or labeled them.

[221] Is that truth?

[222] I don't know about wording it that way, is correct?

[223] I don't think he called them that.

[224] Well, let's see what he said.

[225] Again, he didn't call them the White House laborers.

[226] Oh, the White House labeled them a terrorist group.

[227] He didn't say it somewhere or whatever.

[228] Right.

[229] But that opportunity, it was so funny.

[230] Like, he's telling Joe Biden, I want you to say law and order.

[231] You can't even say it.

[232] You can't even say it.

[233] And he didn't say it.

[234] And then he said, you know, I want you to denounce white supremacy.

[235] And then Chris Wallace is like, Mr. President, do you denounce white supremacy?

[236] I tell them to stand down and stand by.

[237] Like, people that were, like, his strategist is probably like, what the fuck?

[238] Yeah, he's like, well, you say, stand by.

[239] He's like, whoa, hey, come on.

[240] I don't want to go to that.

[241] What about, all he had to do is say, yes, I denounce white supremacy.

[242] Of course.

[243] That's all he had to say.

[244] See, but that's why you should be moderating this debate because you could be physically grabbing both of them and saying, listen, here's what's going to happen now.

[245] Instead, Chris Wallace, like, excuse me, guys, what, you know what?

[246] You know what I mean?

[247] He's not, you need alpha.

[248] You have to be able to physically walk up to the podiums and put people.

[249] Well, that's what I was saying.

[250] They need Big John McCarthy.

[251] They need the UFC referee, Big John McCarthy.

[252] He's a big giant dude.

[253] He could handle that shit.

[254] He would tell people to sit the fuck down.

[255] He was a cop.

[256] He knows how to, like, control.

[257] I would be laughing.

[258] The problem with me, I would be like, oh, my God, what a shit show.

[259] I would turn to the camera.

[260] I'd break the wall.

[261] I'd be like, ladies and gentlemen.

[262] Yeah.

[263] You just...

[264] We've got a real fucking problem here.

[265] Folks, you may want to tap out on this country.

[266] Yeah, I'd be like, Jesus.

[267] Canada doesn't look so bad right now.

[268] I know that Justin Trudeau is kind of a pussy, but...

[269] They said a lot of...

[270] What do you mean?

[271] He was a boxer?

[272] Was he?

[273] Yeah.

[274] I already was.

[275] I played basketball a couple times.

[276] I don't call myself a basketball player.

[277] Well, maybe he's the kind of boxer where they're like, hey, listen, that's the prime minister's son.

[278] So if he hit you, just flinch, don't hit him.

[279] Oh, one of those.

[280] I don't know.

[281] Yeah, there's a lot of that going on.

[282] I've seen that before.

[283] No, I'm sure.

[284] Actually, he did have a boxing match.

[285] He's a little too handsome for my taste.

[286] Yeah, I don't like it either.

[287] Beautiful man. He did blackface at least 30 or 40 times.

[288] That's right.

[289] Didn't he?

[290] In Canada, it's different.

[291] I think it played like Indian people.

[292] or something.

[293] Oh, that's right, right, right, right.

[294] It was like brownish.

[295] Yes, it's indigenous face.

[296] It is kind of funny.

[297] It's white face.

[298] White face is like, no problem at all.

[299] Right.

[300] Good luck.

[301] Yeah.

[302] You could be white face.

[303] No one cares.

[304] Can you play a redhead if you're not a redhead?

[305] Is there any shame in that?

[306] Well, would you want to is the first question?

[307] But second of all, no. If someone had to do like the Andrew Santino's story.

[308] But I don't know Andrew Santino.

[309] He's a comic from L .A. Very fun.

[310] Yeah, but Pilbara is, he's bald now.

[311] It's too bald to be called redhead.

[312] Yeah, it's like, it's hard to call him a redhead now.

[313] Who would be like, Carat Top?

[314] Okay, Carat Top.

[315] That's the most famous, like clearly, I mean, it's in his name, carrot time, right?

[316] Could you be, is there any shame in that?

[317] No. No. No. No why?

[318] Nobody ever owned Redheads.

[319] No. Maybe they did.

[320] Because there were a lot of Irish slaves, right?

[321] Yeah.

[322] Back in the day, the whole thing was Irish.

[323] Yeah.

[324] Yeah.

[325] Yeah.

[326] Yeah.

[327] Yeah.

[328] Well, it's probably from the.

[329] Scandinavians The Vikings had a lot of redheads Like Eric the Red Oh, right That's the only reason I think Vikings had redheads The guy's name was Eric the Red Probably had a red beard and blonde hair Probably covered in blood too, right?

[330] Oh my God Those motherfuckers You ever see those people in Iceland That win those strong men competitions?

[331] Yes They're the remnants of the Vikings They are enormous human beings That live in the frozen north Where the Vikings lived The only thing I know is The word berserk comes from them Bers.

[332] Yeah.

[333] They used to come down and go berserk.

[334] You know what they used to do?

[335] They used to take mushrooms.

[336] They did?

[337] Yeah, that was their big thing.

[338] They would take mushrooms and slaughter.

[339] Now, wait a minute.

[340] Where do they get mushrooms up there?

[341] I thought mushrooms are from South America.

[342] No. Mushrooms are from all throughout Europe.

[343] Mushrooms are all throughout North America.

[344] They're native to a lot of different climates.

[345] Well, they would preserve them, too.

[346] They would get them in the summertime, and then they preserve them in the wintertime.

[347] But I'm 99 % sure that was a part of.

[348] of the history of the Vikings is that they would take a lot of mushrooms.

[349] Well, when I was growing up, I mean, I consider myself the early...

[350] Here we go.

[351] Fly Algaric mushroom.

[352] Yeah, that's the Aminida Muscaria.

[353] The first account of Vikings going berserk because they ate magic mushrooms was hypothesized in 1784 by a Christian priest named Audman.

[354] He came to a conclusion that connected the berserkers to the fly Algaric mushroom because he read that Siberian shamans did the same thing when they...

[355] were healing.

[356] Hmm.

[357] That show, Vikings.

[358] Yeah.

[359] You ever see that show?

[360] No. Fun show.

[361] They take mushrooms in that show.

[362] But the, um...

[363] Did Vikings eat mushrooms?

[364] Let's see that.

[365] See, that's, they connected to the amnita muscaria, red and white mushroom.

[366] See, that's not the same mushroom in the Viking movie, or the Viking television show.

[367] It looks like they're taking psilocybin.

[368] Some scholars proposed that certain examples of the berser rage had been induced voluntarily by the consumption of drugs such as the hallucinogenic mushroom aminidamuscaria or massive amounts of alcohol.

[369] But here's my problem is that when I was growing up we ate a lot of mescaline, which is basically mushrooms in organic, you know, it was like chemical.

[370] What's that?

[371] Sort of.

[372] Mascalin is actually peyote.

[373] Yeah.

[374] But masculine is that I think it's more, it's in the stimulant category.

[375] Well, even more so that's going to prove my point.

[376] When you're eating mescaline acid, any of the stuff, mushrooms, you don't tend to want to get violent that's true but if you live in a completely violent world right and you took mushrooms i don't think it would turn you peaceful no and i turn you peaceful but you might be like i'm just gonna stay in the forge you know these guys are going on this stupid trip you're gonna go on an 18 hour trip to go and rampage through some civilization you're not here's why i disagree it's become a thing with fighters to take mushrooms and fight what yeah it's it's actually really common and the thing is they're not really testing for it.

[377] So there's certain fighters that are taking mushrooms and then competing in kickboxing, competing in MMA.

[378] On mushrooms.

[379] On mushrooms.

[380] That's the hilarious.

[381] That's one of the greatest things I've ever heard.

[382] Well, they say it makes them way more effective and they almost can like read things better.

[383] They're locked in better.

[384] I could see locking in, but you also get trails and stuff like that.

[385] This goes on, you know.

[386] Maybe it's how much you take.

[387] Like maybe just take a dose that's, also you got to realize these people are like their adrenaline's through the roof like the effects of the mushroom is probably very different if you're about to go into a fight my adrenaline was through the roof when I was 17 now listen Doc Ellis of course took the acid that was a famous one yeah but that's not violent oh yeah he's pitching no hitter he pitched a no hitter he pitched no yeah push a no hitter on acid there's real there's real evidence that though in some circumstances psychedelics can enhance your performance?

[388] Well, I'll tell you a story when I...

[389] I'll tell you, probably the third time I took acid, maybe.

[390] I was 16, and this is a fight.

[391] It's got violence in it, but it's not that I was...

[392] So I was at a sweet 16 in Brooklyn.

[393] It was a mob run place, by the way.

[394] So you do a sweet 16.

[395] This has a lot to do with my whole life when I really looked back on it.

[396] So 16, I was in love with this girl.

[397] She wasn't dating me, but she was at the party.

[398] but the way they set it up so it's like here's a sweet 16 here's an office party they're all in the same room and then there's a stage down at the bottom and here's you know some guy that you know just got his you know you retired from the you know job whatever's job then you have you know so it's like 15 different events of two tables each at this place Palm Shores Club it was called in Brooklyn so I'm at the party with my friends and there's this girl I'm in love with but I haven't dated Yeah, and we ended up going out for a couple of years of this.

[399] But so, shoot, I'm tripping on acid.

[400] And then the, one of the other groups that was with our group, because the girl in Sweet 16 had our other friends there too.

[401] One of these guys sold pot to the girl I loved.

[402] Sold her a bag of weed.

[403] So she's like, you know, Brooklyn, she's like, look at him, he beat me on the sweet.

[404] He sold me like four joints.

[405] What a ripple fox.

[406] So me, shit night and shining on.

[407] I mean I go out to him I don't know the guy These long tables Two or three long tables Excuse me Tap him on the shoulder You know Excuse me She feels like you shorted her I'm not dating I'm just you know I'm in love of her She shorted you on You shorted her On the sweet So you know You might want to Give her a couple more joints Guys's like No I didn't Turns away Listen Excuse me You know She feels you did You gave her four joints Whatever In those days You get like six joints For a bag of five dollar big, right?

[408] Maybe seven, you know.

[409] I was like, yeah, he kind of shorted her.

[410] I'm still not sure to this day if he shorted her, by the way.

[411] I didn't count the, you know.

[412] He was just being a white night.

[413] I was just being a white night.

[414] So he goes, no, I didn't.

[415] Get, fuck out.

[416] You know, just basically like, you know, he has to show his pride, too.

[417] He's letting this guy tap him on the shoulder a couple of times.

[418] He's with his friends.

[419] I'm with my little friends.

[420] And I go, and he goes, get fuck out of here.

[421] Like, you know, now I'm starting to annoy him, you know, and he's like, what's this bad?

[422] You know, he had to do that.

[423] So I was like, ah, bah.

[424] jump on him, start punching him.

[425] In the middle of a giant event, jumping, punching him.

[426] Everybody, you know, a ruckus erupts, you know, it's like a whole place, so our table's going crazy.

[427] Screams, you know, fights.

[428] And the grandmother, my friend wrote a song about it, by the way, the next day.

[429] And because the grandmother kicked me in the ear.

[430] My whole ear was caked with blood.

[431] Because I'm ruining her granddaughter's...

[432] The grandmother kicked you in the ear.

[433] Yeah, the grandmother.

[434] Why you're scrambling on the ground?

[435] I'm on the ground.

[436] Oh, my God.

[437] But he was cake with blood because, you know, I'm ruining a granddaughter's C -16.

[438] I don't blame me, you know.

[439] And they're breaking up, but meanwhile, oh, so anyway, long story short, I'm tripping.

[440] So I was like, this is like the third time I've tripped, maybe, maybe the second.

[441] On acid, I had done mescal and everything else.

[442] So I'm tripping.

[443] So finally they drag me out.

[444] I'm picked up, like, bodily, but it's a mafia place.

[445] Remember?

[446] Downstairs in the basement, these two guys, a couple of young, the young mob guys you know I could tell it like young thin you know guys they didn't look like to me like my and stop punching me and then they just look at me and I could tell they were just like look at this guy is so pathetically pussy whipped they could just tell him my eyes I was just they're like get him out of here and just tossed me onto Emmons Avenue there's a big street in Sheeps Abbey and then my friends drove by like I'm walking you know stumbling along like three minutes a day and my friends drove by because they left too they had to leave and they just could not stop laughing I'm just standing.

[447] But here's the weird part about the story is that on stage was this old man who at that moment was doing stand -up comedy.

[448] And to this day, anytime I have hecklers, I'm like, that's karma because I was the guy that ruined his show.

[449] And he's going, come on, fellas, calm down.

[450] I heard him say that.

[451] And at the time, I noticed because I was like, why is there an old doing stand -up?

[452] But he's probably a guy, you know, doing it at that time.

[453] And she said some knock -around joint.

[454] Getting paid.

[455] Getting paid.

[456] and then an idiot ruins his whole show with a brawl over a $5 bag of weed over a bag of which may or may not have been shorted and when you think about that like have you ever done gigs like that did you ever have to do like a like a kids party or anything like that oh my god yeah I mean gigs where you just where you just don't I mean sure haven't you ever do have you I did a bachelor parties I did a couple of those but bachelor parties they suck yeah but at least it's not like you ever do a gig where you don't when you're first starting out where you're not you don't have enough clean material and you walk in and you go I can't I have to cut every curse out and you have nothing left you realize I have nothing to say to these people because my act is for nightclubs and this is not a nightclub it's a daytime club yeah I've done a couple of those like just small events where just you feel like it exposes every floor in your comedy it does it does so to small Shows.

[457] It does.

[458] That's the beauty of small shows.

[459] They're like a cleansing agent.

[460] All the fat in your act.

[461] All the fat.

[462] All the cheat.

[463] All the momentum.

[464] It's just based on them.

[465] All the horses.

[466] It's just all right there.

[467] And these people are looking there and they're dressed nice.

[468] And I did a car show when I was, I think two years in.

[469] It was like an afternoon show like 200 bucks, which in those days, you're like, 200 bucks, an afternoon show.

[470] I went there and it was just maybe 50.

[471] And I was too new to know that I was.

[472] walking i didn't even real like now if you walked into you'd be like okay this is a nightmare here's what i got to do that that was like a really smart thing that chris rock used to do a lot is he would show up at the store unannounced late so he would go there where there was the audience was down to like 15 20 people and then he would go up with this shit that he was working on and he would find out what's good and what was bad because when there's 15 people and they're spread out there's like three here two in front of you five over there yes you really know what the fuck is good and what's not if you're there in front of 300 people like oh my god it's chris rock everything he says is amazing you're with your date like wow we got lucky tonight chris rock's here yeah but if you're there and there's fucking 15 people it's one in the morning like then you find out how much of your materials nonsense oh my god yeah no of course i mean that's that's where you're really exposed and it's the best and you have your best sets yeah but uh but the negative side of it is then you listen to the tape and like a lot of that was free association Yeah, wasn't that great?

[473] Well, that's the thing about comedy.

[474] Like, I feel like comedy to really develop a good set.

[475] It's almost like, it's like cross -training.

[476] Like, you need to lift a little weights, but you also need to do some jogging.

[477] Like, you need to do a bunch of different things.

[478] And you need to have a big crowd so you see if this is a set that's really worth filming.

[479] And then sometimes you have to have a little crowd where they're not impressed by you.

[480] They're not there to see you?

[481] Absolutely.

[482] And you see if they can, if you can, if this stuff, it really can, resonate with people that don't even know you absolutely absolutely i mean that's the the beauty the reason we're all still so obsessed with comedy is because of these little that it could still surprise you every time and still challenge you every time yeah there's a million things when you're like i can't believe i know so much and i know so little after all these years are doing it you know well the beautiful thing too is every time you do especially become a beginner again because even though you know how to craft the material the material you have is dark shit and it's like it's it's on Bambi legs.

[483] And you've got to figure out a way to get it moving again.

[484] And that's why my new theory, which you're going to like this for the, for the Austin Comedy Club, is that down south now, because nobody can work out up north once it gets to be winter.

[485] So it's going to be like baseball, how all the Dominicans begin with it.

[486] All the south is where all the great communities year year round.

[487] Because the COVID's going to hit in New York City and shut everything down again.

[488] Yeah.

[489] Once flu season kicks in.

[490] Yeah.

[491] It's already shut.

[492] It's never open.

[493] comedy clubs haven't opened but they're open outside right a few of them outside yeah but how are they doing that they on the street like what are they doing they're parking lots or something on the street well most of they can't well they one comedy covers on the street but most of them are in like parks or in like parking lots there's a lot of park so weird yeah so how do you get people to pay sit in a park yeah i don't know i mean because otherwise i mean people could just walk up i mean that's the problem the outside and listen they don't have to pay yeah and the parking lot you always just the problem with you in a parking lot is you know you could be doing great.

[494] You know there's some idiot outside the parking lot that could start screaming.

[495] Yeah.

[496] Like when I was 16, I would have done, you know.

[497] Sure.

[498] Hound your horn.

[499] Yes.

[500] Yes.

[501] Oh my God.

[502] Or just play Andrew Dice Clay really loud in your car.

[503] Just something to distract the convenience.

[504] You're giving my good idea.

[505] Yeah.

[506] I did a gazebo a couple of weeks ago.

[507] Benefit up in Connecticut.

[508] Like a wedding gazebo?

[509] Yeah, like an outdoor.

[510] I was doing in New York, or in...

[511] Was that a gazebo?

[512] Yeah, he's doing in Ohio.

[513] Well, it's like a wedding chapel.

[514] Outside wedding chapel.

[515] That's where he's doing his shows.

[516] Yeah, I don't know.

[517] It's in the town square.

[518] I was just doing a benefit.

[519] And, yeah, a couple of kids drove by when the guy before me was on and just honked and screamed.

[520] Ruin your joke.

[521] Do you know, Bert Kreischer?

[522] Sure.

[523] Your, Bert's doing a lot of these drive -in shows.

[524] I know.

[525] I know he is, of course.

[526] I go, what was the show?

[527] I go, it was great.

[528] It was 700 cars.

[529] like 700 cars that's a lot of cars yeah I just did it for HBO Max I did like a comedy outdoor special with a bunch of comedians from New York and 30 cars and it was it went back far how did he get seven he's doing giant place this was 30 cars and it was way back yeah this must be like I mean I can't imagine how far back it must go it goes far and they all like their lights and honk their horns and shit.

[530] That's right.

[531] That's what they were doing.

[532] Oh my God, 700.

[533] Now I'd like to see that.

[534] Yeah, but Bert's hammered too, right?

[535] So he's like barely aware of what's happening when the lights are flashing, people are honking.

[536] He's having a great time.

[537] Yeah, there you got video of it.

[538] Like, this is, by the way, this is, I'm 99 % sure, so I'm just going to say this.

[539] This is all his idea.

[540] Look how big this is.

[541] It's huge.

[542] Wow.

[543] There is in Philly.

[544] And he did it all across the country.

[545] He takes his shirt off every show because it's important.

[546] Oh, my God, yeah.

[547] Now he has to.

[548] Yeah, now he has.

[549] He's like Ellen dancing.

[550] Right, right.

[551] She has to dance every show.

[552] He's trapped.

[553] So this is how he did it.

[554] So he would go out and do these crazy shows where he's in the parking lot.

[555] They'd set up a stage with lights and everything.

[556] Wow, look at that.

[557] He's been touring.

[558] Look at that.

[559] He's one of the only guys that through this pandemic has been regularly touring in a pretty safe way.

[560] Look at all those fucking cars.

[561] That's crazy.

[562] Pretty safe way.

[563] That's kind of cool.

[564] It's actually really cool looking.

[565] He said he enjoyed it.

[566] He said it was great.

[567] He enjoyed it.

[568] But, you know?

[569] But Bert's a kind of guy that enjoys things like that.

[570] Yeah.

[571] You know what I mean?

[572] Like I could see myself getting aggravated by this.

[573] And Bert's like, it's the greatest, you know, he'll be.

[574] This is all right.

[575] He'll jump in their car, start making it out with them.

[576] You know what I mean?

[577] Like, Bert enjoys stuff.

[578] Exactly.

[579] Exactly.

[580] Yeah.

[581] I just, I just, you know, I miss real comedy Like Mark Norman said it best He's like this is all methadone He goes we're all doing methadone He goes I want a real shot He goes I want the real hit right in the veins He really is I don't want to take this methadone These these park shows These outdoor shows And the virtual show is the worst Like that's just Oh my God yeah That's crazy I've watched good comics bomb on Zoom And I'm like stop Yeah stop doing that There's no one there You can't do that No it sounds like it sounds like pigeons It's like, who, you don't hear laughing.

[582] You just hear this weird look, oh, oh, oh.

[583] And does that laugh?

[584] What's going on?

[585] It's so bad.

[586] It's just not a bad, it's a terrible way to do comedy.

[587] No, yeah, it's, but that's, again, what I love about it is that it makes us really, like, you realize a lot of people are going to fall by the wayside, too.

[588] Yeah, because the money's going to go down.

[589] Thank God.

[590] Yeah.

[591] The money's going to go down.

[592] The same prepping people for low salaries at Austin Comedy Club.

[593] The money is going to go down.

[594] you're going to design Austin Comedy Club for me I would love it but I'd like to really I'd like to curate the audience How are you going to do that Already we had a conflict When I was telling you I don't want those drunks at the audience You're like let them have a few drinks I'm like no Joe You want to test them all To make sure they're not drunk Yeah Because I don't like You're like well some drugs don't heckle I know But then they sit there like this And you think they'll listen to you And they're eyes who One time I was in Cleveland I was yelling at the whole crowd Because they were drunk And just horrible And it was this beautiful couple up front guy and girl blonde dressed expensive like I mean they just looked like model movie stars and I was like these people people like this come to see a show blah blah I just yell at the crowd because it was like heckos it was a late show you know and then finished then like five minutes later the couple got up to go to the bathroom or leave her and they both face planted and passed out they were so happy they didn't even know I was talking they didn't know where they were we finally have a rapid test so here like we got tested we got the same test that the white house uses.

[595] So they have a machine, do a nose swab, and get a result in 15 minutes.

[596] So you could conceivably have a show where people would show up, say, 40 minutes early, everybody gets in line, gets tested.

[597] When you get cleaned, you can get inside and have a drink.

[598] So you could do a comedy club and have everybody with no mask on.

[599] You could conceive.

[600] Yes.

[601] The thing is people like, even if people get tested, wear a mask, like everyone's so mask conscious now.

[602] Like when we do the UFC, I can't do in -person interviews with the fighters but I'm tested and they're tested everybody's tested you have to be tested to even be in the building you have to be clean the day of to be in the building but yet still they want everybody to wear a mask like that doesn't make any fucking sense no but it's also because when you live in a country that's built on lawsuits everybody's like whoa that sounds like a lot there's 80 people going don't wear a mask I want to see what happens just so they can try to see you that's yeah well you'd have to sign a waiver well if you're going to get to Austin in comedy club you'd have to sign away well it was in comedy club but i hate to say this it sounds like i'm already abusing the system but i think the mc should have to do the testing they should have to be registered a nerd you have to be a nurse to be an mc you want to host you got to be a nurse you got to get there early do that you know so's a few bucks yeah you know like host would have to like pitch chicken wings at some place you know try the wings in this place well i used to bartend when i started comedy i would bartender at the comic strip and they wouldn't let me on because they were like no it's a conflict of interest it was a big ethical problem really is you had to quit your job as a bartender I quit before I could audition yeah oh that's ridiculous but the store is the opposite the store all the people that work there are comics everyone the dormant it's always but they they actually like Ari when I met him he was a doorman he was yeah it became and then there was the beautiful thing was he eventually filmed his first special at the store right his Comedy Central special so it was was like wow what a full circle he made yeah he's he seems more like a comedian than a doorman if I may say he's a terrible doorman here's a too I don't give a fuck where you sit sit wherever this place is gritty this place is crazy yeah but everybody Tony Hinchcliffe everybody that works there they they they well everybody that works there as a dormant is a comic everybody that works the cover booth is a comic a lot of the people that work behind the bar comics well you guys is crew really turned that place around because I was there in the early 90s and the comedy store I was there working you know I'm okay I didn't even work that much money I've done LA but it was a shithole well not only was a shit hole Monday was considered gang night and it wasn't like um it wasn't an inside joke like everybody knew gang night the gangs knew it was gang night so they would have gangs it was this crazy atmosphere like this tense atmosphere every Monday night was gang night yeah it was not good when I got there in 94.

[603] I got there in 94.

[604] It was pretty rough.

[605] But occasionally it was good.

[606] Like, occasionally, like, Damon Wayans would stop by or Martin Lawrence would stop by.

[607] Like, someone good would be there and you'd go, wow, okay.

[608] Now I get to see a real comic.

[609] But a lot of it was, like, half empty, not even.

[610] Yeah, they had some tough views.

[611] A lot of boadax.

[612] Oh, yeah.

[613] That's right.

[614] Yeah, a lot of guys that really just shouldn't have been there.

[615] And my theory was that, like, Kinnison had left there somewhere around 86.

[616] Right.

[617] And when I got there in 94, eight years later, it was just still like, because before that it was booming, right?

[618] There was Kinnison and Letterman and all these guys were there.

[619] And then when he left and he was banned from the store, I think he took everybody with him.

[620] And I think when I got there in 94, it was like he was already dead.

[621] And it was like the echoes of that, that his generation, it already kind of died off.

[622] Yeah, well, I was in L .A. I was in L .A. in 89, I guess, of 90 or something.

[623] something 88, 89, and the improv was the respectable club.

[624] It was what the store became, and the store was already crazy.

[625] You know what, and it was like that in 94.

[626] Yeah.

[627] The agents wouldn't go there because they couldn't get in for free.

[628] Right, right, right.

[629] Because Mitsy was like, I don't give a fuck where you work.

[630] Yeah.

[631] Like, if you were an agent and you wanted to get a table, it's like, pay, tell them to pay.

[632] You know what, though?

[633] I don't believe it because the whole town was an agent.

[634] She wouldn't have made a dime.

[635] Yeah, yeah.

[636] And not only that, they didn't pay attention.

[637] She would say they would talk in the back.

[638] And they did.

[639] I remember I went to see a showcase once.

[640] And they, for whatever reason, William Morris had a showcase at a nightclub.

[641] And there was the downstairs where they had people seated.

[642] And the upstairs was like this little balcony where it was a bar.

[643] And it was filled with agents and they were talking full blast while the show was going up.

[644] And I said, I'm not going up.

[645] I told my age, I'm not going up.

[646] There's no fucking way.

[647] And DePaula was on stage.

[648] And DePaula was on stage.

[649] And he's yelling at these fucking people that are up in the balcony.

[650] Like he's talking shit about them.

[651] It was terrible.

[652] It was like the worst atmosphere for comedy and the agents didn't give a fuck.

[653] It was agents assistants, a lot of them.

[654] They were drinking and talking.

[655] Yeah.

[656] They're just laughing.

[657] They're having a social time.

[658] They're having free drinks.

[659] You know, it's like this is their opportunity to chit chat.

[660] So while the show was going on, I mean, full blown bar level talking.

[661] Yeah.

[662] Yeah.

[663] It's terrible.

[664] So that was what Mitzie tried to avoid.

[665] She's like, get him out of here.

[666] No, she had the right.

[667] She had definitely had the right spirit.

[668] I didn't know, I didn't even know, Kenison was there.

[669] One night, Rich Jenny told me, well, you know, rest him in peace, too.

[670] Love that guy.

[671] Yeah, great guy.

[672] God, he was good.

[673] But he knew, he knew Kenneson, and Kenison owed him $100.

[674] So he went by the comedy store to get paid.

[675] He was in town.

[676] He's like, you know, the guy's doing great now.

[677] He's making a lot of money.

[678] You know, it's like 1988, 88, 89.

[679] And he goes, I'm going to get paid from him.

[680] I'm going to go borrow them.

[681] And he goes to the MC.

[682] When Kenison gets off, I'm getting $100.

[683] He owes me $100.

[684] He never paid me. He's rich.

[685] I'm just, you know, work.

[686] in the road.

[687] And then just then, Sam, you start screaming to somebody and said, I can't, you know that bit he used to do where he goes, I'm going to take this napkin.

[688] I want you to write down the names of all your, all your loved ones, your dead grandmother that always treated, you know, and go through the whole, say to somebody to the audience, and go, write down your dead grandmother was always there for you, write down your uncle that paid your way through, you know, and I want you to write them all down.

[689] And then I want you to hand it back to me, because I'm going to wipe my ass for it.

[690] And he said that, and he said the guy just exploded, attacked him.

[691] Sam's bodyguards just started punch it, you know, turned it through like a brawl at the comedy store.

[692] You know, you know, and then the emcee goes, Jenny, maybe she's asking for 50.

[693] Yeah, he was, I missed all that.

[694] I missed the Kinnison.

[695] I saw him live a few times when I was an open micer.

[696] When I was in Boston, I went to see him three times while he was alive.

[697] One time was at Great Woods And one time was down the Cape And then there was one other time And it was just It was just It was interesting to see Because it was like he didn't have new material And he was trying to do some of the bits From the old stuff And people would call out the punch lines And so then he had to He had a kind of write new shit While he was touring You know And the HBO special had just come out Because it was kind of a new thing back then Like there weren't a lot of HBO specials It wasn't no no real common thing no and he developed that act over years and years and years yes and then all a sudden he's this hugely famous comedian they come to see him and he doesn't really have a lot of new material yeah no that that definitely happened a lot of guys back then where they'd just be like they weren't used to people knowing their act yeah and people like i don't hear that's the thing about comedy musicians people are calling out for their best hits yeah if you do something new they get mad yeah comedian is just the opposite i know it's crazy it's such a hassle but you know it's the way it is and especially samzac because it was all build up yeah and then the big punchline so there was no in between yeah yeah so i got to see like his b level material i never got to see the a material live i got to see it on tv but when i saw him live it was all kind of like half -assed stuff yeah wasn't wasn't really that good but it was also because his crowd was so uh annoyingly like screaming at him that he ended up having like it was like it was almost couldn't develop yeah because like you said he should have been what chris did go in when there's 15 people yep he should have done that well he was just touring right he wasn't yeah like he developed his comedy by going up late at the store right that was right thing like going up late he put that act together over years of struggle and then all of a sudden he was huge and now he's got to do these thousands of seats and it's not the same you can't develop an it's just you can but it's God damn, it's hard to develop an act in front of thousands and thousands of people.

[698] And how about, I know, yeah, I don't know how you can do.

[699] I mean, how about the fact that him and Pryor are both from Peoria?

[700] Crazy.

[701] Isn't that wild?

[702] Weird.

[703] But he started in Houston.

[704] They said Sam in Houston, him and Bill Hicks, all of them looked at that.

[705] And they said, Sam, one time he, like, tied himself to the thing outside.

[706] Yeah, the annex, because they censored him.

[707] They wouldn't let him go up.

[708] Yeah, those guys, they had developed a real scene down here in Texas.

[709] They really did.

[710] And Hicks had a real scene in Austin.

[711] Hicks started out here and then eventually went to Houston.

[712] Or maybe he started in Houston and went to here eventually.

[713] That's right.

[714] I think he started in Houston, did Houston and Austin, and then when he came to die, he died out here.

[715] Wow.

[716] Yeah.

[717] Yeah, I used to call him the Houston comics that hate God.

[718] Well, it was odd because Texas is often thought of as being very religious.

[719] That's why they're so obsessed with it, you know.

[720] But a lot of, like, I think Garofalo came out here.

[721] I think she came out there during that time too, right?

[722] They had a bunch of...

[723] Because it was like a scene.

[724] Like, I remember hearing that she was coming out here because I knew her from Boston.

[725] I was like, wow, that's kind of wild.

[726] Like, Texas is that...

[727] Like, it made me rethink what Texas is in my head.

[728] Yeah.

[729] And Brett Butler was here.

[730] This was during the 80s.

[731] This was during the Kinnison era.

[732] And I was when they had Ron Schock.

[733] Do you remember him?

[734] Yeah, yeah.

[735] And do you remember Andy Hinton?

[736] Jimmy Pineapple?

[737] Yeah.

[738] I worked with Jimmy, Pineapple?

[739] One of the first times ever did the Houston laugh stop.

[740] I work with Jimmy Pineapple.

[741] That's crazy.

[742] Yeah, those guys.

[743] Speaking of the laws of comedy.

[744] Andy Hinton used to have a joke which you know, he goes So, uh, these girls having sex younger and younger these days.

[745] I overheard my sister's friends talking about it.

[746] They're 14 and they're having she's having sex.

[747] I pulled her aside.

[748] I said, first of all, what we did was wrong.

[749] Second of all, telling people about it's not going to make it better.

[750] Fuck.

[751] Today, you'd get canceled for the joke.

[752] Oh, my God, yeah.

[753] You'd be in real trouble.

[754] He'd be in real trouble.

[755] All female comics would start Twitter threads about you.

[756] Expose him.

[757] But Andy Hinton, him and Ron Schock once did ask him, T. Sean Shannon, you know him.

[758] He's from there, too.

[759] And he told me the story about Ron Schock and Andy Hinton were tripping one time.

[760] And, you know, Ron Schock was, you just kind of breaking her.

[761] And he goes, and then Andy Hinton goes, Ron, you're going to make it when they first started.

[762] he goes, I know.

[763] And he goes, he was waiting for him to say it back to him, you know, because you two comedians and new.

[764] So you say it back to each other, right?

[765] Sure.

[766] And he goes, and finally, Andy couldn't take him and he goes, I'm going to make it too, Ron.

[767] And he goes, sure you are, Andy.

[768] Sure you are.

[769] They had a great open mic night back at that laugh stop.

[770] That was one thing about the last, did you work that place in Houston?

[771] Yeah, the laugh stop?

[772] Yeah, it was a great club.

[773] but they had the bar area was an open mic night and then they had the main show room area and I remember I came in to do the show there I did two shows and from the moment I got on stage they had the open mic going and then by the time I was off stage the open mic was still going so the open mic would go to like two o 'clock in the morning they had guys still going up like it was a real comedy community there they really worked on their craft they didn't tolerate any hacks no bullshit there they were a serious thing it was a great play It was a great, great scene.

[774] That crazy Mark Babbitt ran it.

[775] Right.

[776] That crazy fuck.

[777] Yes.

[778] Yeah, he was a nut, but he really loved comedy.

[779] He loved comedy.

[780] He ran a good.

[781] You've got to have a nut.

[782] You're like, people think, well, you know, that guy wasn't the best business man. Like, you're not going to get the best businessman to run a goddamn comedy club.

[783] You're going to get nutty people.

[784] Yeah, I know exactly.

[785] Like, Mitzie Shore was a different kind of nutty person.

[786] Mark Babbitt was a different kind of nutty person.

[787] But all the great club owners were all.

[788] crazy.

[789] Well, the reason Boston was a good scene, too, was a great scene when I started.

[790] I came in like 85, let's say to Boston, first time ever, was because Lenny Clark and Mike Clark, Mike Clark, the money they paid in Boston was like three or four times more than any other place.

[791] Three or four times.

[792] Like a gig in New York pay 80 to be the middle.

[793] In Boston it would pay $2 .90 or something.

[794] Because Lenny and Mike was not ripping people.

[795] off like that.

[796] Yeah.

[797] Mike's a great, I'm still good friends with them to this day.

[798] I was texting with him yesterday.

[799] I love that guy.

[800] And he, whatever his thing was, he was just this guy that was like, yeah, you should get paid.

[801] And it was like this Valhael.

[802] You know, this.

[803] And what was regulated, it was also the big four.

[804] You know what I mean?

[805] It was like the Mount Rushmore of Boston, Sweeney, Gavin, Rodney, and Rodgerson.

[806] And they were just, you know, they just set a tone where everybody's like, oh, you know, he just and they were big guys too.

[807] They were a big guys.

[808] Lenny Clark's a fucking gorilla of a man. They were these big dudes.

[809] Oh, yeah.

[810] It was an interesting play because they were men.

[811] Like, we thought of comedy as being like these dweeby, like interest.

[812] But those guys were doing coke and punching people.

[813] Oh, my God.

[814] Wild fucks.

[815] All those guys were hammered all the time.

[816] They were all a bunch of wild people.

[817] Oh, my God.

[818] They brought me up to be Sweeney when afternoon at Nixon.

[819] He was just in the back like this.

[820] You know, like you want to be Sweeney.

[821] It was just him in the dark.

[822] And just look.

[823] and like it was this you know audience with the pope were you there during the coke days where they were yeah try to pay in coke yes well not me i was already clean but yeah they tried they paid people in coke all the time it was great it was psychotic out there what's the only way you get great comedy i think it's like it doesn't last because it's not sustainable that kind of a business model and then the comics never pay their taxes they all wound up getting audited and you stop writing because you get a coke double you just waiting for the coke deal Oh, yeah, when they had the guy in the side, I mean, they're Dylan Coke in uniform.

[824] It was nuts.

[825] Yeah.

[826] Well, that was the famous, I'm sure you heard that story, when I went up there and they pulled the old thing where Sweeney and Chance went on before me and just left me. Destroyed the place.

[827] Destroyed on a Friday second show.

[828] And then I end up literally, because I remember, I'm from New York, so I don't understand.

[829] It's 185 or 86.

[830] So I don't understand the culture.

[831] So I see a bunch of guys in polo shirts with blonde hair, deck shoes, white pants.

[832] I'm like, oh, these must be some spoiled Kennedy guys.

[833] Like, they look like yuppies.

[834] Like, they look like rich.

[835] The bank robbers from Chelsea.

[836] Yes.

[837] Yes.

[838] But I'm looking at this audience full of these guys in pink eyes out shirts.

[839] You know, and that's exact.

[840] And these bad asses.

[841] They're savages.

[842] Yes.

[843] So I'm like, so I go cursing him because I'm bombing.

[844] So, you know, we get into it.

[845] They're like, back you.

[846] I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to fuck you.

[847] Fuck you.

[848] And just, I go, God, go fuck yourself.

[849] You know, I'm just giving the finger.

[850] I see, you fucking asshole.

[851] Go back to, you know, Hyannisport and go play touch football, you little, put.

[852] And these guys, I start to notice.

[853] Then, and finally I start to notice, wait a minute.

[854] Some of these guys have tattoos back in the days when, you know.

[855] And I'm like, these guys have, like, Chermock tattoos.

[856] I may be misreading me because I didn't know anything about Boston as far as the neighborhoods.

[857] I don't know what's going on there, you know.

[858] I just look pink eyes on shirts and, you know.

[859] Facial scars.

[860] He starts seeing things, crooked noses.

[861] Some of these guys are pretty muscular, too.

[862] And then, long story short, it got so ugly that Joe Yannetti had to come on stage from the back of the room.

[863] They'd go, Joe, go up there, save it.

[864] Because they're getting ready to rush the stage and beat the shit at me. The whole crowd, almost.

[865] It felt like, and Joe Yonetti goes on stage, and he goes, folks, I'm from Eastie.

[866] This is my friend.

[867] We're going off stage now.

[868] You leave us alone.

[869] And he literally had to explain to him, I'm from Eastie.

[870] He's from one of the neighborhoods, so, you know, I'm a legitimate person.

[871] And then we just had to hide in the kitchen until the whole crowd emptied out.

[872] Well, if you were a New York guy, you already had three strikes against you going off by the stage.

[873] Yes, I knew none of that.

[874] Yeah, they set you up, too.

[875] They would set you up.

[876] They set me up.

[877] Well, that's great.

[878] I walked in after the fact.

[879] I didn't actually see it, but I walked in after the fact.

[880] They were all bragging about it.

[881] They set up Billy Crystal with like Sweeney, Knox, Gavin, boom, boom, boom.

[882] they just had a murderous assault of local humor that you couldn't follow you couldn't they're talking about fucking cape cod going down the cape having con they're talking to the boston accent everybody's dying and then you would go up and like i'm billy crystal hey how's do you like the emmys and they're like get the fuck out of here they did it to everybody well guess what it's funny you say that because of the local references the last thing i remembered before i went on stage?

[883] I mean, they're ripping.

[884] Is Chance?

[885] Sweeney's got a mop in his head like dreadlocks.

[886] Chance is playing guitar and they're singing a song called Come back to Jamaica Plain.

[887] That's where I lived.

[888] I lived in Jamaica Plain.

[889] Yeah.

[890] Yeah.

[891] It was all local stuff.

[892] That was a real problem when I started doing the road.

[893] I had so much local material because they loved local material.

[894] It was like a cheat code.

[895] Like you can get a laugh you didn't deserve with local material.

[896] Well, the same.

[897] In New York, you're doing that subway stuff.

[898] You're in North Carolina.

[899] People would be like, what is this?

[900] What are you talking about the subway?

[901] Oh, goodness.

[902] We know what it is.

[903] But it's funny, you said, I was there for the aftermath because I pictured the room when an aftermath, when, you know, sometimes you go into one of those clubs in New York, too, but in Boston, Knicks.

[904] And there was just broken, shot glasses thrown around the room, just chairs turned over.

[905] And you're like, whoa, what happened here?

[906] But it was just a crazy business model that they would set up these headliners for failure.

[907] on purpose all the time yeah all the time yeah and if you didn't know like if you were a guy from new york that was doing the tonight show and you're starting to do movies and you thought you were the shit yeah and they would let you go on stage and they would like oh yeah we're gonna have this guy headline he's been on in tonight show and they would set you up with four murderers yeah would go on in front of you i don't blame them that's how you when you're making that much money locally you don't want a bunch of people coming in and you're making your then but by the way i was in a headline I was just up there visiting I was staying at Tony V and Dennis Leary's house I wasn't a headline But they just did it for whatever For sport to keep in shape No other place would do that If you went to Houston They would give you like a local act It would be an opener It would be normal I mean you have good comics But they wouldn't have headliner After headline after headline After headliner trying to blow you off the stage Right They did it on purpose Yeah they did Oh yeah I know they wanted you to eat shit These guys would do their best 20 minutes Just fuck a bab bab bab bab bab bab And you would go on stage An hour and 15 an hour and 20 minutes into a show where the audience was beaten into a pulse and then these guys would bomb it happened to me that's exactly what happened and I was eating in the headliner and here's what happened by the way I just remembered it I was the middle but chance goes I'd like to get home early Colin would you mind if I went ahead of you oh and I was like yeah okay dirty trick because I first show had been fine yeah so I was like yeah fine go ahead I didn't know him I didn't know anybody it was really funny dirty trick they did that on purpose Of course.

[908] But it was, but, you know, do you really blame, look, here's the way it is.

[909] You're in the city, you're making great money.

[910] You know, you're doing, getting paid in Coke.

[911] Everything's set up correctly.

[912] Plus you're Irish.

[913] So you're like, these assholes think they're going to come in here and big shot their way around.

[914] It's the perfect Irish arrest to just go, we're going to show you what a fucking big shot you are.

[915] The pleasure they got in their souls out of watching that week after week.

[916] Of course they did it constantly.

[917] The only person I saw survived that.

[918] that gauntlet was Dom Irera.

[919] Dom I can see it.

[920] He murdered.

[921] He went up there and he was famous enough at the time that the lot of the audience was there to see him.

[922] And he was working so much.

[923] He was cool as a cucumber.

[924] He would go on and his material was so goddamn good.

[925] So funny.

[926] So solid.

[927] He went up there and he killed.

[928] I remember at the end of it, he goes, ladies you gentlemen, I've been Don Marrera.

[929] I've been great.

[930] You guys were okay.

[931] He wasn't a bad audience.

[932] He just had this casual, confidence and just he survived the gauntlet they tried i tried to take them out i could see it one of the other they set people up i saw some crazy shows i saw bill hicks get set up there oh wow bill hicks got set up there cleared the fucking room and never stopped never stopped swinging it was me and greg fit simmons we were we were open micers at the time and we were sitting in the back of the room at nick's comedy stop and and hicks started out with 300 people and he was down to maybe 40 maybe 35 people at the end and everybody had just gotten up and left and it was a row of comics in the back laughing our fucking ass off it just like he he was looking up he had this some bit about someone taking a shit right so he's like grunting over a toilet bowl and he looks up and he goes this usually clears the room and people are just getting up and just the crazy thing about it was the calmness of his bombing was stunning always I was like he's so relaxed while bombing.

[933] Yeah.

[934] No, I never saw anybody who literally would just be like he had such a Zen like attitude about Kyle because he did it since he was like 15 or whatever he was.

[935] Yeah.

[936] Yeah.

[937] And T. Sean's began, they all knew him when he first began and they said his whole act was joke jokes, hilarious joke jokes.

[938] Like he had all this material but it was all like one -liners that he wrote when he was 16 and 15.

[939] Yeah, there's a video of him when he was really young.

[940] Yeah.

[941] He was real smooth and the video is him before he was 18 and he's fucking smooth and then he was like hey guess what i want to do this a different way you know i mean he was just searcher you know and also when i caught him when i saw him i saw him live a few times he'd already quit doing drugs yeah he was already clean and he just this really strange introspective thought provoking act right and people didn't know what to make him he really changed comedy in a lot of ways because a lot of people imitated him because they they would see him and they would go you know comedy can kind of be profound it doesn't just have to be funny like this guy made me feel like what I was talking about was stupid that I was dumb right you know and then so a lot of like I remember in the back green room in the Atlanta punchline right there was a the green room had a graffiti on the wall and one of the things that said quit trying to be Hicks because there's so many guys that to be hicks yes so common yeah people would like tell the audience how dumb they were and how dumb america was and i know they were trying to be profound without doing all the work first that's right that's right oh yeah i mean how many people masquerade uh as as you know freaking out the crowd with their brilliance was just that you're not that funny yeah you just i mean you know first be funny like doctors first do no harm first be funny then if you could be profound that's great that's another level but don't be up there going hey you guys don't get it i'm bugging i'm ruining your middle -class bourgeois mentality he's like no you're not stupid when lenny bruce did it yes that was shocking and he was groundbreaking don't be acting like you know what i mean hicks or lenny bruce i would have loved to see hicks with a podcast god damn he would have had a great podcast yeah he would have had a really interesting podcast yeah you're right he had some there was some real interesting interviews with him where you know he would do an interview and he wouldn't really try to be funny like that was the thing in these interviews guys would be like half doing their act and sure he did a little bit of that but for the most part he would actually talk about shit now yeah i'm gonna do that for the second half of this going to my act i got some about that's what i was getting to um trying to try to work you into that but uh you don't have to be funny remember when they used to uh they used to do that radio in the 80s at least when i saw they go listen tell us what you set you up for oh yeah dude the 80s i had someone tried to do that to me and like 2014 I did the Bomb and Tom show back then they're like I was like what you're talking about said yeah what do you want to talk about it was 2005 but it was the 2000 yeah for sure in the 80s that was the normal thing if you said no they'd be like oh my god this guy's gonna be terrible in Bob and Tom's defense they didn't care but the producer was adamant that I need to have specific things to talk about to go into right I was like what I don't I'm not just going to go go have fun these guys are fun I'm fun just relax Yeah, exactly.

[942] You flew out here.

[943] How was your flight?

[944] Well, that was pretty good, but there was a guy next to me. Yeah, the morning radio thing.

[945] There was a lot of guys would do their act on morning radio.

[946] Sure.

[947] Because nobody was recording it because it was like, you know, there was no internet back then.

[948] And comedy was so new that people would be driving go, hey, this guy's pretty funny.

[949] Let's get out there.

[950] I mean, it was there for a reason, you know.

[951] Guys would do routines in the morning.

[952] Yeah.

[953] And it worked.

[954] Yeah.

[955] Yeah, it got people to come out to the club, and then they would hear the same jokes at the club.

[956] Yeah.

[957] That was the other thing, too, is nobody wrote new material back then.

[958] Nobody.

[959] I know so many guys that were so funny, and they'd write maybe 40, and that was it.

[960] And it was as funny as anybody.

[961] Yeah.

[962] And then you fade away.

[963] But I mean, yeah, and they had funny.

[964] It wasn't that the material was dated.

[965] It was just once you stop writing that stuff, something about you becomes dated so a good way.

[966] Well, their act would get so polished it would be like a samurai sword.

[967] They would hammer it down to just a perfect sharpness.

[968] And they would, like Don Gavin, his fucking timing was so precise.

[969] So funny.

[970] Baping, ba bang, and you'd be crying.

[971] He was so confident and loose.

[972] But they never left.

[973] They never left Boston.

[974] They stayed, they had that 40 minutes and they were as good as any comic that has ever lived.

[975] everybody ever yeah and people didn't know but in new york too there's a bunch of guys in new york that were just great in the mid -80s when i started like these guys were so funny um i was i was afraid you're gonna say that um well like a guy like john hayman hilarious he became a writer but i'm saying he would get up and just so funny and he was just he was the guy that would just sit at the bar all in the community just clever witty guy you know what i mean he could have been one of the great and everybody knew it.

[976] New York had a different thing in that the clubs were smaller because space was more limited so the people were on top of you.

[977] So you had a lot of guys work in the crowd because they were so close to you you almost felt like you had to.

[978] Yeah.

[979] Yeah.

[980] Yeah.

[981] Well, I mean, yeah, most of the clubs in New York, well, it was a lot of, there was a lot of crowd work, which was good and bad.

[982] It was good in the sense that, you know, it's funny to watch somebody be, you know what I mean?

[983] It keeps it, but it's bad in the sense.

[984] that you, a lot of people just became great at crowdwork.

[985] I mean, how many guys are just great at crowdwork?

[986] Crowdwork's fun and it's funny, but you've got to discipline yourself.

[987] If you're not right, when you're going to do a show and the stage is up there and you're talking to imaginary people, which a lot of people do.

[988] And you're like, hey, that guy.

[989] And then after the show, when you're starting, you're like, hey, that guy wasn't fat.

[990] Hey, she was her tits worn out.

[991] Why is he saying she was dressed like a hook?

[992] This guy's, is this fake crowd?

[993] Yeah, there's a lot of guys that do that.

[994] Well, the crowdwork is like, it's like local material.

[995] It's a cheat code.

[996] Right.

[997] When people think that you're coming up with it on a spot, they think this guy's brilliant.

[998] Well, the part I object to is when somebody does something every night, spontaneous, and then they pretend, they stumble into it, and then start laughing at themselves.

[999] Oh, that's ugly.

[1000] The fake laugh at yourself.

[1001] Sometimes you will laugh at yourself.

[1002] Yes, it happens.

[1003] But the audience knows when it's not.

[1004] not real yeah they know they know unless they're retarded some people some people don't know but most people know yeah they then they might go let you get away with it but when you're laughing at the same same joke for the 50 ,000 time yeah no it's great it's i mean it really is a uh a great thing about modern comedy is that everybody knows you got to keep putting out new hours that's the great thing about modern comedy yeah with specials yes well you've done an interesting thing where you've done these theme shows.

[1005] Now, what led you to want to start doing that?

[1006] But just you wanted to, you had ideas that you wanted to do that way, like a one -man show?

[1007] Yeah, I did.

[1008] I remember seeing one -man shows when I first started.

[1009] I saw Eric Bogosian.

[1010] Do you know him?

[1011] Yes, I remember him.

[1012] He did these one -man shows.

[1013] And I was like, oh, my God, this guy's the coolest guy.

[1014] He's being funny, doing these characters.

[1015] So I wanted to do, like, that kind of stuff.

[1016] So I did this stuff in the early 90s, just one -man shows on my free time, you know?

[1017] and um and then i and i watched lily tomlin did one will be goldberg did a really good one back then and i'm watching his one person shows and i was like i want to do that and i did this one called irish wake about growing up back then but then i just went back to stand up because stand up is you know how it is it's so it keeps you from being out of the loop mentally in some way that you can't because it's just you know i just talked to jerry about it all the time and It's like going into the water and just getting hit by a wave because all the theoretical stuff, like even now, here we are talking, stand up this and that.

[1018] It's all theory.

[1019] Once you're on stage with a crowd, you're like, ah, ah, you're surviving.

[1020] You know what I mean?

[1021] Yeah.

[1022] So it's like, yeah, I'm going to do this.

[1023] All my strategies, but now you've got to, you know what I mean?

[1024] It's a fight.

[1025] When you watch a guy like Jerry who's been doing it forever, who's such a polished pro and he's having a tough spot.

[1026] Yeah.

[1027] It's weird.

[1028] It's weird to see.

[1029] Be like, yep, we're all still just common.

[1030] We're all still comics.

[1031] But that's the beauty of it, is that the crowd is just like a wave.

[1032] They'll give you a couple minutes.

[1033] Oh, look Colin's here.

[1034] Hey, he's funny.

[1035] They'll give you a couple minutes.

[1036] And after a while, like, come on.

[1037] Yeah, they're like the three guys I never heard of were making us laugh.

[1038] And the guy I know is not what's going on.

[1039] I paid money to laugh.

[1040] Exactly.

[1041] And that's the beauty of it.

[1042] Yeah.

[1043] Because whatever you want to say, like we're talking about with Bill, whatever you want to say, that's great.

[1044] Yeah.

[1045] But you still have to make them laugh.

[1046] laugh or it's not definitely by definition it's not comedy right you may be a philosopher you may be the most brilliant or ted talk as they say today but it's not comedy that's the importance also of showcase clubs where there's a bunch of comics going up and they're not just there to see you because if people are just there to see you they'll laugh at things they're just a giant fan of whoever it is uh you know jim gaffigan yeah they go to see jim gaffigan and jim gaffigan is a very funny guy but they will laugh they will laugh at him but jim gaffigan will laugh at him but jim gaffigan will go to these other clubs to work out too, because you have to do that as well.

[1047] You've got to go to a place where they don't necessarily come to see you.

[1048] They come to see a show, and you're on the show, but you've got to perform.

[1049] Yeah, yeah, no, exactly.

[1050] It doesn't know their art form like that.

[1051] No. Musicians don't have to do that.

[1052] No, there's no other art form where you need the audience to help you write, edit.

[1053] Yeah, yeah.

[1054] You literally need them.

[1055] That's why this coronavirus is so brutal for community.

[1056] because without the audience you're going to ramble on and on you know what I mean you'll go into long setups right with little punch lines and you won't even know the audience be like no no no get to the joke like and you're like oh I forgot to end this thing how can I do this for this many years I forget you need an ending did you see Cosby at all before he went up going to jail did you ever see him live no I never saw him live I mean I saw him live once when I worked it great way I was actually working as a security guard when he was there live but I didn't get to see I wasn't a comic back then I was 19 I didn't get to see the whole show I really paid attention to it but he never worked out he and he talked about he said I know what's funny I know how to do funny like I don't need to work out my material so he would just kind of write and then he would go up and do these and from all accounts like Chris Rock said it and Burr said it they went to see him they said it was fucking brilliant brilliant yeah and he didn't work out.

[1057] Like, I would, I would like to see what that was like.

[1058] I would like to see it, too.

[1059] Yeah, Jerry, Seinfeld, Chris Rock, they always said they went to see Bill Cosby and loved it, you know what I mean?

[1060] Yeah.

[1061] I mean, I wonder about that.

[1062] It's a little hero worship, too, right?

[1063] Like, you know, like, how much of it is, you're supposed to love it?

[1064] How much of it, you love it because it's great.

[1065] Yeah, I guess, I mean, if they hero worshipped him.

[1066] Yeah.

[1067] Before he got arrested, everybody hero worshipped him.

[1068] I didn't.

[1069] You didn't?

[1070] I didn't like his act that much.

[1071] I mean, I thought he was, one time I I did a big benefit a big Conny Hall show it was right after 9 -11 and Cosby was on and it was a it's an interesting night for two years but one of them is he asked to meet me after my set he was here worshipping me Joe in my opinion but wow he brought me up because he wanted to meet me because I said so I go up and I brought my girlfriend at the time very you know pretty and I walked in with her and she had a certain look that I could imagine you know like very exotic looking too.

[1072] And you know, dressed up.

[1073] And Cosby was there in sweatpants, smoking a cigar in Carnegie Hall, which, you know, only certain people get away with, he's in some dressing when he's going to go with a cigar.

[1074] And he's talked to me for 20 minutes.

[1075] He looked at me for about eight seconds of the 20...

[1076] He was literally looking, but he made it a joke, but it was dead serious.

[1077] But he was looking at her while he was talking to me the whole time.

[1078] And we're all like laughing like he's in on the joke.

[1079] But it was so...

[1080] Like she thought it was so weird But the same night Tom Papa was there with his wife Cynthia And Bill Clinton was there too It was like a big right at 9 -11 And Clinton was shot He walked around the room He just he was so smart You know everything they say about him But then he starts talking to Tom Papa He starts flirting with Cynthia right in front of everybody And we're all laughing But he's like hey I love it It was one of those nights Fascinating In retrospect right It was a Me Too benefit in retrospect i remember i called bill cosby a douchebag on your show when i was on tough crowd because he was uh you were ahead of the time he was uh being interviewed by wanda sykes right and wanda was interviewing him and he starts chastising her for the way she's talking to him that's right and he had sunglasses on i go that guy's a fucking douchebag that's that's great and i remember thinking like geez who the fuck am i called bill cosby a douchebag i mean this is like yes i mean when was tough crowd what year am i talking about i gotta think early 2003 2004 yeah and i was like he's a fucking douchebag that's hilarious i remember that when he was like yeah you guys were amazing yeah she was just having fun yes and talking to him she was just trying to be funny and uh he chastised her for the way she was speaking it was crazy it was like it was real weird like who the fuck are you to tell her how to talk especially on tv at especially everyone loves wanda yeah and just walking around the crowd yeah and she's just working she's a comic yes and it wasn't nothing she did was offensive it was just her talking and I remember being on the show and then I remember leaving going Jesus I should call Bill Cosby a douchebag like I probably shouldn't do that I feel like a lot of people left the show saying something like that about tell us the show that show would not be possible today no I mean it really was like a podcast in a lot of ways you know yeah yeah it really was it was a fucking great show though thanks it was a great show Thanks.

[1081] It really was.

[1082] And you were the perfect host for it, too, because you were loose enough and light enough with everything that you can kind of keep the glue together.

[1083] Yeah.

[1084] I mean, I took as much abuse as anybody on that.

[1085] Oh, yeah.

[1086] But it was a rare moment where, like, in perfect name, too.

[1087] Tough crowd was a perfect name for it.

[1088] Has there ever been a talk about bringing that back?

[1089] Oh, God, yeah.

[1090] Everybody talks about it.

[1091] But I'm like, where?

[1092] You know what I mean?

[1093] What about as a podcast?

[1094] Ah, people say that.

[1095] I don't know.

[1096] Why not?

[1097] I mean, because.

[1098] Because, first of all, I resented at the time that I was like, yeah, they didn't want to, you know what I mean?

[1099] Like, who knows what I'm resenting?

[1100] I'm fighting against something that does, it's not even part of the podcast world.

[1101] Right.

[1102] And, but then I was just like, I don't know.

[1103] Then I'm going to, you know what I mean?

[1104] Getting everybody together and, you know, people's careers would fall left and right if we did it.

[1105] Oh, yeah.

[1106] I mean, anybody on there, would they be able to really even speak honestly today?

[1107] Kind of.

[1108] Kind of.

[1109] Kind of.

[1110] You got to have a career.

[1111] career that's pretty locked in already or you've got to be on the on the come up where you got nothing to lose it's the guys that are on a television show that are fucked yeah like the guys who get a TV show where you're really worried about losing it right those guys can't they can't do a show like that but back then you could oh back then we did but there it is Colin Quinn tough crowd there it is look at that that is that Patrice oh my oh he was the star of that fucking show.

[1112] Well, Norton was great on that show.

[1113] DePaula was great on that show.

[1114] Everybody was great and Geraldo.

[1115] There's Geraldo.

[1116] I remember when Geraldo and Leary went at it.

[1117] That was one of the great moments of that show.

[1118] Ten years, Geraldo's dead two days ago.

[1119] Yeah, him and Larry, that was a good one.

[1120] And Lenny Clark was there.

[1121] It was just a great setup.

[1122] Like, the way you had it, it was just a great setup.

[1123] Patrice literally, it was basically his show.

[1124] As you can see from that footage, I was a guest.

[1125] He was the host.

[1126] A little chubby Jimmy.

[1127] Look at Jimmy back in the chubby day.

[1128] It's like a fat fool But um This is a great fucking show man Yeah How many episodes Did you guys wind up doing?

[1129] 200 I think Wow 220 or something I have no Can we get you to do it as a podcast?

[1130] I don't know Because you can get guys like me Guys like established comics would do it And it would be wild You could still do it It could still be done As a podcast It could do Because like you have a guy like Joey Diaz on he doesn't give a fuck you can have those guys and they will talk freely and people would love it oh my god they would love it yeah it might be I don't know I mean over the years obviously people have brought it up to me and I was like now because he could never be free today no but I got a better one the original name which everybody talked me off of which is the expression really more than tough crowd tough room and I think I do own the name yeah anyway Oh, either way.

[1131] Tough room is better.

[1132] Tough room is a podcast.

[1133] Tough room.

[1134] Why not?

[1135] I don't know.

[1136] Maybe.

[1137] Look, how many guys in New York would do it?

[1138] A lot.

[1139] Yes.

[1140] Easy.

[1141] Norton would do it for sure, 100%.

[1142] Well, he wouldn't be invited on, but you're right.

[1143] You brought up the one name of someone that's not welcome on the show.

[1144] There's plenty of comics that would do it.

[1145] I know, I know.

[1146] Joey Diaz is in Jersey now.

[1147] Oh, yeah?

[1148] A lot of people more time.

[1149] He's out there in the East Coast.

[1150] Yeah, you got the fuck out.

[1151] Most people are leaving.

[1152] L .A. is just like a sinking ship.

[1153] Yeah, but he's leaving.

[1154] Yeah, it's sad.

[1155] It's sad.

[1156] But it's also good.

[1157] Things move on.

[1158] Like I said, comedy, I'm not even kidding.

[1159] What if it becomes this, you know, outdoor thing?

[1160] Everyone's going to move down south.

[1161] It could be an outdoor thing, but I think more than anything, it could be a thing where you just, I think they're going to have some sort of a treatment for COVID sooner or later.

[1162] And it's just a matter of, like, sit.

[1163] Look, the reason why.

[1164] L .A. was L .A. was because everybody came out there to do TV and movies.

[1165] Right.

[1166] And then they wound up doing comedy as well.

[1167] And then they did comedy while they were doing TV and movies.

[1168] But it was always, when I started in the 90s in L .A. It was a means to an end.

[1169] Like when I came out there, I came out there to do a television show and there was a lot of people that were doing stand -up hoping they would get a TV show.

[1170] That's right.

[1171] I came out there with a TV show.

[1172] Right.

[1173] Hoping to get passed as a paid regular at the store.

[1174] Right.

[1175] And then once I was there, I was like, this is weird because like I don't really want to, I was doing TV for money.

[1176] and every time a new TV project came up I was like okay but really I had this dream my dream was like I would really love if I could just do stand -up I'm doing all this stuff so I can make it like Stanhope said it best he goes basically we're doing TV to make sure we have an audience so that we could do stand -up absolutely but now that doesn't exist anymore nobody gives a fuck about TV nobody cares for a lot of comics if you get a TV show it's like ah poor guy you got a show it's like now you're fuck you're right you're gonna get less money you can't say what you want you can't talk wild and you never know when you're scheduled you can't go on the road right right and you have to deal with all these weird politics of sets now yeah it's like every set has to be diverse you have to like the casting is weird it's all fake it's like you don't you're casting the best people you have to make sure you have an Asian character or this character where where where's your gay representation right it's just if it's a if it's a if it's a urban gang they have to all look like Greg Kinnear.

[1177] But it's just nowadays you don't need that Hollywood environment anymore.

[1178] It's actually an impediment because it comes to the executives and it comes with agents and it comes with all these people that can get their greasy hands on the formula and fuck it up.

[1179] They're going to tell you what to do and what not to do.

[1180] They're going to pull you aside.

[1181] They're going to give you shitty advice.

[1182] Their creative input is going to be dog shit.

[1183] Well, a place like this, Colin Quinn.

[1184] out here in Texas you don't have that I know I know I love it you gonna move here?

[1185] I don't know I don't know I'm such I mean I do love it I love the idea of moving here and I love it I'm trying to get everybody to move here I know that's half the goal of having people on this podcast yeah well I'd like to you know if I move here I'm gonna do it I'll be one of the I want to be one of the early ones I don't want to be one of the guys that comes in like oh now he's jumping in the band Weig.

[1186] Fifth year.

[1187] Right.

[1188] No, I don't want to if I do it, it'll have to be in the next year because I can't be one of these guys that's, you know, coming in late to the party.

[1189] Well, you're going to help me design the club, right?

[1190] Maybe I come down as the designer slash manager of the club and, well, maybe I secretly book the club and people go, who's the prick this book in this club?

[1191] Right, you never know.

[1192] Like, you leave your, you both, you don't have a person, yeah, you can't have a single person that people can call to get booked.

[1193] Or I've always felt even as much as I love comedians and I love comedians and my favorite people I always feel sorry for bookers because having to deal with us people don't understand the mental disorder you have to have to be a successful comedian which is you have to think if I was up there right now no matter who is up there I do good too I'm as funny as anybody and if you don't think that you can't last it's the sad thing is people that think that or no one else thinks that the other comics no they're not good and they're like I don't get the respect I deserve You're like, no, but you do.

[1194] Here's the thing about comedy.

[1195] Everybody gets the respect they deserve.

[1196] Anybody who says, you know, I didn't, you know, they made it seem like I had to earn their respect.

[1197] You do.

[1198] Yeah.

[1199] You do have to earn their respect.

[1200] Yeah.

[1201] And you get what you deserve in this.

[1202] This is a meritocracy.

[1203] It's the closest thing to a meritocracy that could exist.

[1204] I agree.

[1205] It is.

[1206] Out of any job in the world, it's a closest thing to a meritocracy.

[1207] Whenever you see a comic saying, I'm not getting the respect I deserve.

[1208] You're like, oh, no, that's a moment.

[1209] not true.

[1210] Yeah.

[1211] You do get what you deserve.

[1212] You get all the...

[1213] Because when people are murderers, everybody bows down.

[1214] Everybody, that guy's fucking great or she's amazing.

[1215] Right.

[1216] Everybody does it.

[1217] Well, unless they're real hacks.

[1218] There's hacks that murder.

[1219] Yeah.

[1220] But there's hacks that I'll never follow.

[1221] Right.

[1222] That's true.

[1223] They kill us.

[1224] And I bow down to the fact that they can do that, even though I hate them for it.

[1225] But I'll say, I give them a little bit of credit.

[1226] I know what you're saying.

[1227] I know what you're saying.

[1228] Like they figured out a way to juke the system.

[1229] Yes.

[1230] But in terms of like a great comic right a comic that the audience likes that we all respect whoever you with a guy girl gay straight absolutely white black age no one gives a fuck are you a killer yeah are you a killer that's right yeah and if you're not a killer and you think you are it's a rough road yeah oh yeah I don't get the respect I deserve from this club but you do no yeah but you do yeah if you were laying it down every night they would all be like god damn he's killing it but this is what I'm saying, bookers, everybody thinks they should be at that place right then.

[1231] Everybody thinks she should be on stage all the time.

[1232] Yeah.

[1233] So to be a booker, you can't, you're going to make a lot of enemies.

[1234] Yeah, yeah.

[1235] And then there's people that think that they should be like, there should be a certain amount of women.

[1236] Right.

[1237] There should be more women on this lineup.

[1238] Right.

[1239] No, they shouldn't.

[1240] If they're funny, they should be.

[1241] Oh, yeah.

[1242] But I, look, I've always said, and I still maintain this day, I think it's a difficult road for a woman.

[1243] I think there's women, there's a lot of men that don't want to hear women talk about politics.

[1244] There's a lot of men who don't want to hear women tell them things that maybe they don't know or say comedy in a way, like they're explaining things to the men.

[1245] There's a lot of men are sexist.

[1246] I think it's harder.

[1247] Sure.

[1248] Harder for them to talk about sex.

[1249] They, they, like, Christopher Hitchens had a whole article he wrote in Vanity Fair about this back in the day.

[1250] It was very controversial.

[1251] It was called Women Aren't Funny.

[1252] And all these women got really upset at them, but he was basically saying, they were saying, he was saying, if you want, want to be a woman and be comedy and be a comedian you kind of have to adopt male characteristics you have to either act like a slut or act like a guy or be butch well i don't agree not true but it's not true because he's not a comedian isn't a no no it's not true but what is true is it's harder it's a harder path for a woman you have to be yes it is hard yeah and you have to be uh undeniable a dying you have to be a dominant personality yeah i'm saying like a rosan like rosan like rosan came out and she was now playing I'm gonna you know I mean like you have to have that energy I guess or Sarah Silvman right she figured out her path through it she was cute but you know it was like her she would shock you with her takes on things well it was like well crafted yes it was she was almost like a different totally different but like Sam Kennisin and the fact that you'd be like oh this person's saying this and then you're like whoa whoa you know it was like a joke yeah and she was pretty so it would throw you off She was charming.

[1253] Yes, yeah, yeah.

[1254] But Roseanne was interesting in the same way Kinison was interesting because she became that person after she had a brain injury.

[1255] What?

[1256] Yeah, she got hit by a car, just like Kinnison.

[1257] I didn't know either one of them got hit by car before they did stand -up?

[1258] Yeah, their personalities changed.

[1259] It's really interesting.

[1260] They both got really hurt, bad.

[1261] And when you get really bad brain injuries, one of the things that happens is you become ridiculously impulsive and wild and oftentimes violent.

[1262] Like that was the thing with Kinnison.

[1263] Like his brother wrote in the book, My brother Sam.

[1264] Right.

[1265] His brother Bill wrote a book about Sam and what Sam was like before the accident and then after the accident.

[1266] He was hit by, like, I think he was hit by a pickup truck, but like really fucked up, like brain injury and then he became a different person.

[1267] Like he was like quiet and reserved and then just became wild and uncontrollable.

[1268] Same thing with Roseanne.

[1269] She went to a mental institute for, nine months after she was hit by a car.

[1270] How funny is that, that people have to get hit by a truck.

[1271] What does that say about us?

[1272] What does it say?

[1273] We're fucked.

[1274] Yeah.

[1275] What does it really say?

[1276] Yeah.

[1277] Because I believe in the same, different vein, but the same psychologically, I believe you have to be in a place where you just, it's almost like an existential crisis.

[1278] Yeah.

[1279] Where you're like, I don't care if I bomb.

[1280] I don't care about.

[1281] I don't place enough value in this planet that I give a shit.

[1282] I'm going up and I'm talking about what I want to talk about.

[1283] It's almost like a level of depression.

[1284] It's not a, it goes beyond where you're just like, I don't care.

[1285] I really don't care.

[1286] Because people care about this, public speaking, so much that there has to be something with us that's off where we're like, I don't care.

[1287] Or you have to develop it over time.

[1288] You have to develop that callousness about the way people feel about it.

[1289] Eventually, yeah.

[1290] Or you got to get so good that you can, you know that even though it's so terrifying to bomb, you could slip through those waters and ride the wave of success.

[1291] Well, what I always tell people starting when they ask, even when they don't ask, I tell them.

[1292] But is you can, the audience can hate you, but they can never feel sorry for you.

[1293] The one thing you're not allowed to have in comedy, in my opinion, is the one thing you're not allowed to indulge in is you can.

[1294] can't ever be uncomfortable right you can be anything you could be an asshole yes you can be a psycho you can be offensive you can never be uncomfortable isn't it isn't it weird isn't it weird isn't it weird that you could feel it yeah you feel it when someone's uncomfortable you're not a lot if somebody if you paid somebody to come in right now and do a set for us three they're not allowed to be like well it's a weird instead they can't be they can say this setup sucks you pay me for this fuck they can attack us and we'll probably love them right but they can't be uncomfortable right you're paid to not be uncomfortable right no matter what yeah you can't be ashamed and you can't be uncomfortable anything else you can be it's such a strange art form it's like they feel you they feel how you feel even if the words come out perfect with the perfect timing they feel how you feel and they won't laugh if you if you seem uncomfortable yes yeah it's it's it's it's like alchemical or something it's just it is it's and it's such a it's such a uh you know i just always hate this even though it's true as people decide how they feel about you the first 10 seconds I was like oh what the fuck is that you know judge me 10 seconds but the truth is when somebody comes on stage and they don't make eye contact like with the crap like they're like either looking down or looking above yes right away the whole crowd knows and they're like what's this part they uncomfortable you want then why you being a comedian get off stage yeah you have to be like I don't give a shit just like with a heckler like people had tried that to the hackler it's like no no we're living vicariously through you in the audience the asshole at work that we can't say that to because we'll get it fired or get our ass kicked you have to say that to yep you know yeah even if you don't say the greatest thing doesn't have to be the most clever thing in the world but it has to be basically fuck you you fucking idiotic coming here trying to fucking ruin this people love it because they can live vicariously to that you know well it's such a classic person too The heckler's such a classic person The person that thinks their opinion is more important than the entire audience You're gonna stand up and put a stop to it That their ego allows them to literally yell out To the person with the microphone Yeah Nice shirt Yeah It's so yeah That was another beautiful thing about the store That was terrible but also beautiful There was no crowd control Oh yeah No one took care of the crowd No knew how to develop the ability to handle shit.

[1295] Yeah.

[1296] When things are going sideways, no one stopped anybody, no one kicked anybody out.

[1297] No. And then eventually they did, like in the, you know, like the new version of the store, like 2014 on when I came back, they would fucking clean it out, man. They wouldn't, they wouldn't let anybody like heckle anymore.

[1298] And I was like, this is interesting.

[1299] It's like these young guys coming up, this is good, but it's also bad.

[1300] Yes.

[1301] you've got to learn how to handle this chaos and if you would go somewhere else one of the things you would go on the road and if you would go on the road and people would heckle you're like do you think I'm not used to this like it heckled every night yes it's such a normal part of the experience it has to be a normal part of the experience I agree because there's nothing even as a guy's been in forever when somebody when you watch a comedian somebody heckles them and you see their face like they're startleable what you want to see is like okay asshole number 6 ,000 in my life listen to me you fuck you don't even want it to be like that outraged you want to just be like oh you fuck it you like it's part of the thing you know exactly exactly is that great Bill Hicks set where he's doing that with him you know the recording remember where he's like yelling at the whole crowd like oh yeah oh you think he just reads him the right act you just tell he's been doing it forever yeah there was a lady yelled out of him and he goes he goes oh I'm a cunt He goes, I got a pussy So I get carte blanche I heard a recording of Lenny Bruce from 1959 There was this guy, Hal Wilno, who just died And he had all these old great recordings Of music and everything But he had this Lenny Bruce recording from 1959 And he just let me listen to it once And it was Lenny Bruce at a club Going, just stop listen to me Here's what bothers me They always put you people at that table too he goes you're always at that fucking four you know four top and and you can tell there's a couple of couples he goes you're two couples that want to you know you think you're clay you're drunk he goes and after the show you're going to come up and go we were helping you and I was like that was in 1959 isn't that crazy because that is what they say yeah we were helping you we yelled out if we didn't yell out you wouldn't even have a show yeah if you didn't show up tonight I would have been screwed I wouldn't have a show it's funny that people actually do think that though it's like comedy's kind of like a form of hypnosis that's what I always say like when a guy's on stage killing like if you're on stage and you're killing and I'm sitting there watching even though I know I'm a comic right I let you think for me you're thinking for me so you're saying things and I'm just I'm empty I'm on I'm on the ride with you right just letting you think for me yeah and the whole audience does it together like it's a such a weird art form where you we're tapping into these states of mind that aren't really available to other people this the state of mind where there's a person on stage and they're crafting an experience and everyone else in the audience is sort of going along with it if it's going well and it's accentuated by the people next to you who are also laughing at it.

[1302] I know and speaking of COVID that's what makes you nervous.

[1303] You're like shit people have to be next to you to really make it work for an hour.

[1304] Yeah.

[1305] You know?

[1306] I think we're going to look past this.

[1307] I think they're going to come up with some sort of a treatment or something within two years.

[1308] we're going to at the very least have a real appreciation for what it's like to lose this.

[1309] Well, yes.

[1310] And I think that Austin Comedy Club is, I'm a little too big to just run one club.

[1311] How many are you going to run?

[1312] Well, I mean, a chain of southern clubs.

[1313] Okay.

[1314] You know.

[1315] Where else?

[1316] Where else are in Nashville?

[1317] Yeah, I've watched probably 50 episodes of Bar Rescue like most people.

[1318] So I understand what to do when I go into the place.

[1319] I understand the culture.

[1320] Yeah, not Nashville because they have Zanis.

[1321] I'll respect a real institution like Zanis.

[1322] Maybe you could be Comedy Club Rescue and you come in with like, you'd have to have a hook like a Pocodot suit or something crazy.

[1323] Oh, all right.

[1324] I was like, I didn't like it.

[1325] Then I was like, yeah, I went out.

[1326] Maybe blue velvet.

[1327] How about a chain of like where the ceiling, like in case COVID or something comes back where retractable ceiling so you can have a skylight comic.

[1328] The skylight.

[1329] Oh, okay.

[1330] It's going to be expensive, but I'm sure it's a lot cheaper than it was.

[1331] I think outside only works in the sun.

[1332] The thing about they're saying about being outside, the only good thing about outside, outside is the circulation, like people aren't breathing in your face.

[1333] Like the air is not trapped.

[1334] But the real way that outside works is like UV light and sun is supposed to kill COVID.

[1335] Well, I'm going to say something that I don't care if people get sick from COVID.

[1336] I'm just, I want to market it so people think they're safe.

[1337] I don't really give a shit once they pay their cover.

[1338] How about a fan?

[1339] This is a goddamn business.

[1340] Blows all the bad air away.

[1341] You know, what are you, the guy that's working for, you know, R .J. Reynolds in 1950.

[1342] Hey, listen, cigarettes are bad.

[1343] Do you think you would live outside of New York City ever, though, seriously?

[1344] I mean, I seem like you're inexorably tied to that city.

[1345] I mean, I feel like I am, but I'm, like I said, a lot of my family is moving.

[1346] A lot of people I know are moving to the suburbs.

[1347] In the past six months, seven months.

[1348] months.

[1349] And sometimes I'm like, yeah, it's kind of, there's something, there's something not there in New York sometimes where I'm like, it's not how I used to feel about New York.

[1350] Let's just put it that way.

[1351] Maybe it's me, but I think it's the city.

[1352] How long did you go without doing stand -up?

[1353] How long did you go during the COVID?

[1354] About four months, five months.

[1355] And then what was your first show?

[1356] Was the, yeah, the one with the cars at the parking lot one?

[1357] That was the first.

[1358] HBO Max, yeah.

[1359] The first one was a recording?

[1360] Yeah.

[1361] Chris DeStefano was on there if you know him and he goes, yeah, this is great.

[1362] We used to work our acts out.

[1363] Now you're like, I'm working out on an HBO Max.

[1364] Wow.

[1365] So you didn't warm up for it at all.

[1366] You just went up and did it.

[1367] I didn't warm up, but like, you know, I listened to my tapes and shoot a few times, you know.

[1368] That's kind of crazy.

[1369] It was crazy.

[1370] But it's, you know, stand -up.

[1371] After you were doing it for that long, you kind of, you know, you can still bomb but you're not it's a little different plus the crowds you're not doing an hour if i was doing an hour it's a different ballgame i did um the houston uh improv and i did a weekend there after i think i did it in july so four months five months whatever it was four months in it was weird me tony hitchcliff and brian moses and uh it was so strange it was like but it felt so good and doing an hour is a different ball game it was headlining i mean i was doing a real show what headlining means yeah yeah I mean they pay to see you it's a different I was lucky though that I actually had already worked out this hour over a year or so so it was a real hour I had recordings I could listen to recordings I could listen to recordings I had all my notes I go over my notes the first show was like can I do this and then once I did it I was like I remember all this shit then the second I like I might have fucked up a few taglines or something like that but by the end of the weekend it was like a real show I was rolling so did you how many times you listen to your set before you went on a lot a lot me too i always do i don't play games i yeah i don't either i record all my sets and i listen to them usually i would listen to them i would listen to them i would listen to them on the way home but this is the difference between people that really want to last if you if you don't respect it you have to respect it and have to go hey guess what these people in houston paid to see yes i'm going to do my best it might not be perfect it's going to be the best i put all my effort in yeah then you really you know you're doing it You might be a little clumsy if you haven't done stand -up in five months, but you are going to do the work that's required to get it done.

[1372] And they're going to know that you care.

[1373] That's right.

[1374] Yeah.

[1375] The worst is when someone pays to see you and you see the person on stage with like a notebook and like, what else, what else?

[1376] And they don't give a fuck.

[1377] What else?

[1378] Oh, it's the worst.

[1379] It's the worst because it's that feeling that you don't have a sense of urgency that these people have paid to hear you talk.

[1380] Yeah.

[1381] And a lot of people, it's like a little defense mechanism for them.

[1382] Like, I don't give a fuck.

[1383] It's just a show.

[1384] I always called the Joe DiMaggio principle When I saw this article once Where Joe DiMaggio was He's like 40 years old or something He was already in the Hall of Fame And he slid into the third base And there's his kid said You know you play so hard Like why are you doing this?

[1385] Like you're already in the Hall of Fame And this and that And he goes because somewhere out there There's someone who hasn't seen Joe DiMaggio play And I don't want to let him down Yeah, it's great I remember reading that I'm going that is a great way to look at it.

[1386] That's a great way to look at it.

[1387] Like if people are paying to see you, they're paying money.

[1388] Do you feel like he used that line on Marilyn Monroe?

[1389] I hope he did.

[1390] He's probably like, I don't know, Marilyn, but you know, I figure somebody, she's like, what a nice guy.

[1391] Cut to an hour later.

[1392] Well, his thing was always kind of sad, right?

[1393] Like, she left him and she was banging all these other guys and they said that even after his, after her death, he would always show up at her grave and leave flowers.

[1394] That's sad shit.

[1395] Yeah.

[1396] Yeah.

[1397] But I also already treated like shit, didn't he like smacker or something?

[1398] Did he?

[1399] I could be making up some horror.

[1400] I'm slandering the name of the Great American Hero.

[1401] I'm calling Joe Demasj, you a wife beater based on something I may or may not have read.

[1402] I don't know, maybe.

[1403] I feel like he beat her.

[1404] He just feel like, he is Italian.

[1405] I feel, yeah, well, that's part of it.

[1406] And I feel like he beat her and then Arthur Miller emotionally abused her.

[1407] And the Kennedy's killed her.

[1408] Well, that most likely.

[1409] That kind of stuff, you do wonder, you know what I mean?

[1410] I don't wonder.

[1411] If I had a $100 ,000 on a bet, yes or no, red or black, I'm going with they killed her.

[1412] It certainly was a strange one, wasn't it?

[1413] Well, she was apparently, she had loose lips, and she fucked both of them.

[1414] And she was drinking and like, I fuck this.

[1415] I fuck Bobby.

[1416] Those are the most.

[1417] Jack.

[1418] But it was like, yeah.

[1419] Yeah.

[1420] But here's that I don't understand.

[1421] If they killed her, they had the mob do it for him, right?

[1422] Somebody.

[1423] because, but the mob hated them.

[1424] So why would they do it for them?

[1425] Well, it doesn't necessarily have to be the mob.

[1426] I mean, you think Hillary Clinton's using the mob to whack all those people?

[1427] No. But there is, there's people out there that'll kill people for you, Colin.

[1428] Yeah, I guess they won't.

[1429] 100%.

[1430] Yeah, they exist.

[1431] Yeah.

[1432] And they don't have a problem with it because they've killed people before.

[1433] It's not that hard.

[1434] It's shockingly easy to get someone to kill somebody for you.

[1435] Yeah, I guess for.

[1436] you know for money why not if you're a president of the united states and you got some lady who won't shut the fuck up about blowing you in the rose garden well or whatever nowadays though it's a lot harder you know what i mean because everything gets exposed on you know social media but i mean yeah back in those days you get away with it i'm sure say it to epstein i'm sure being they killed that guy when he's in prison yeah well in prison it's easier well yeah they turn off the camera they turn off all the cameras but still but if that was in the street 80 people have cameras Epstein that's true that's true maybe it's easier to kill him in prison I think it is yeah it's just one camera that he's dead I miss him everybody's like oh my god yeah the god was this one was asleep and one was just uh yeah and all the cameras are broken I don't know what happened weird he broke his own neck strange I guess he really feels bad about having sexual old 16 year olds yeah but I mean the minute that list Well, what about Jizane Maxwell, what was going to happen with her?

[1437] That's a good question because she doesn't go to, I don't think she goes to trial until, I want to say next month.

[1438] I think she goes to trial.

[1439] Well, this month now, we're in October.

[1440] Jamie, when is she supposed to go on trial?

[1441] You don't hear a word about that, right?

[1442] No. She's getting the jack, she's in the jack ruby cell.

[1443] I read a fascinating book next year.

[1444] Next year.

[1445] What the fuck are they waiting for?

[1446] I'm trying to figure out how to kill her.

[1447] I think you know what they're waiting for.

[1448] That is crazy.

[1449] Next year.

[1450] When next year?

[1451] Next December.

[1452] Yeah.

[1453] When are they going to do it?

[1454] Why would they wait?

[1455] That's so weird.

[1456] Look, they put Harvey Weinstein right in the court.

[1457] Why are they waiting for her?

[1458] That's so strange.

[1459] Hmm.

[1460] There was a report recently that Bill Clinton had an intimate dinner with her a couple years back.

[1461] Jusane?

[1462] We got to talk.

[1463] You know, is there a ledger?

[1464] She's just denied bail recently, and current trial date is set for July 12, 2021.

[1465] That's a long time.

[1466] That's a long time.

[1467] July of 20, but that's the seventh month of July, of 2021.

[1468] And here we are in October.

[1469] Yeah.

[1470] That's crazy.

[1471] That's so much time to kill her.

[1472] Yeah.

[1473] Well, I mean, nowadays it would be easy.

[1474] You put COVID on the side of one of the search.

[1475] surfaces and wait for her to sniff it.

[1476] Not good enough.

[1477] What about...

[1478] It's not going to kill her.

[1479] What about...

[1480] You were saying something about the Kennedy, about Jack Ruby?

[1481] Oh, yeah.

[1482] There's a fascinating book called Chaos, written by this guy, Tom O 'Neill.

[1483] I had him on the podcast, and it's all about the CIA, and the CIA's...

[1484] Well, it's about the Manson case, but how this guy, Tom O 'Neill, who's actually Greg Fitzhitzhman's neighbor, it's an amazing book.

[1485] He researched this book over 20 years.

[1486] He started writing it, and then as he was writing it, he was writing it as an article, and as he was writing the article, he kept uncovering more and more and more information, and he connected the Manson family to the CIA operatives that would give people LSD, and they would run these experiments on people, and they think that they used the Manson family to discredit the hippie movement and to experiment with what they could do with LSD, and they did it with him while he was in.

[1487] in prison.

[1488] And the guy that was involved in this CIA LSD operation, this is all like heavily documented, was the same guy who went to visit Oswald, excuse me, Jack Ruby when he was in jail after he killed Oswald.

[1489] And Jack Ruby, like, from this guy visiting him in jail, immediately went crazy, was hiding underneath the table, was saying that they're burning Jews in the streets and, like, he had a meltdown.

[1490] And they think this guy dosed Jack Ruby.

[1491] while he was in jail and might have dosed him previous to that to get him to shoot Jack Ruby or to get him to shoot Oswald in the first place.

[1492] Wow.

[1493] It's crazy.

[1494] They connect this CIA MK Ultra mind control LSD experiments that they were doing with this guy.

[1495] What is his name Jolly?

[1496] What was in Jolly West?

[1497] Jolly West, who is this operative for the CIA.

[1498] They ran a thing called Operation Midnight Climax, where they would run brothels with two -way mirrors and they would hire these hookers to give these John's LSD and they would watch to see like how they would react to you know they would give them a drink and inside the drink they would be acid and these poor guys thought they were going you know have some sex with a lovely lady poor guys they get sex and they get a free acid trip I don't know what's so bad about it's not bad if you know you're going to have an acid trip well what about the it's a great book though it's called chaos chaos house because uh you know uh Gabe Kaplan you know he was a comedian and uh poker player yeah and he worked he told me one time he goes yeah i worked for jack ruby he worked for uh the carousel club whatever the name of the club was he worked in the dallas uh i go what was he like he goes he was a real thug he goes he was just like hey get out of here like you just he was a real a mob guy a mob well the dallas mob i mean did you read that book about the dallas mob and linda johnson and his and the no what was that book I have it on my phone but I mean it was basically it was like the most compelling argument I felt like wow like the Dallas mob being involved with whoever they were involved with to go out and to go out and really kill you know kill the guy it completely makes sense here it's Jamie's got it here betrayal in Dallas yes that's it how good is oh Jamie goddamn Jamie Jamie you know what betrayal and down I'm glad you didn't get tested LBJ the Pearl Street Mafia and the murder of President Kennedy.

[1499] Yeah, Pearl Street.

[1500] Good stuff?

[1501] Oh my God, it's great because it connects the lieutenant governor like who is not going to get reelected and it was all like LBJ stuff.

[1502] It was really good.

[1503] I got to take a picture of that so that I can get it later so I don't forget.

[1504] But the Manson thing is...

[1505] The Manson thing's crazy.

[1506] Tom O 'Neill documents all the times they let Manson out of jail.

[1507] They would arrest him while he was on parole.

[1508] Right.

[1509] Where a clear parole violations and one of them was uh that's the book right there i can't tell you enough good things about it but they kept releasing him and one of one of the sheriffs said that it was above my pay grade like they told him the CIA came to them and he'll let the guy go and they wanted him to go out and keep doing all this crazy shit and one of the reasons why they wanted to do is because they wanted to discredit the anti -war movement like the CIA and the government at the time was involved in a lot of like really shady shit right and one of the reasons why the they were doing that was because they were trying to stop what they thought was this subversive movement to try to get us out of Vietnam and this was a part of it I mean the Kennedy thing was a part of it too I guess really yeah you know for sure I mean they just happen to have the happy I mean this book I was talking about it was more like the Dallas Mafia but I'm sure the CIA said hey if it's going to help us you know I mean they were together in the Bay of Pigs so why don't want to be together on this well it's really crazy that the video of the Kennedy assassination the Zepruder film was actually put on television by a comedian.

[1510] Dick Gregory.

[1511] Dick Gregory brought that to Heralda Rivera's TV show, and I think it was 10 years after the murder.

[1512] It might have been 12.

[1513] No, yeah.

[1514] It might have been like 75.

[1515] Heraldivar's TV show was like 74, I remember.

[1516] Yeah, it was back when people had bell bottoms on and shit.

[1517] Yep.

[1518] And Dick Gregory brought that film.

[1519] There it is.

[1520] Good Night America.

[1521] 75.

[1522] There it is.

[1523] Wow.

[1524] Does I say 75?

[1525] Yeah.

[1526] March 6, 75.

[1527] Look how blurry it is.

[1528] Good Night America.

[1529] Yeah, and so they played the Kennedy.

[1530] I mean, because Dick Gregory, what a fascinating guy he was.

[1531] Yeah.

[1532] Great fucking comic, too.

[1533] A lot of people don't even know how good he was.

[1534] Well, Time Life had this, they had purchased this, you know, after the assassination in 63, and they held on to it all these years.

[1535] and they played it on television and I remember Geraldo Rivera telling people that this is going to be very disturbing and you could see him getting shot and you see his head going back into the left and everybody was like wait what the fuck is going on that's the first time and seeing him grab his neck where he got shot in the front in the neck and when they tried to in the autopsy they had two different versions of it in Dallas they said it was an entry wound and then in Bethesda Maryland when they looked at him there they said oh no that was a tracheotomy they shot him in the neck shot him in the back shot him in the neck shot him in the head they were shooting out of them from different angles yeah it was more than one person oh yeah i guarantee yeah i mean i don't guarantee but i'm a lot of my life don't think that's that's the weirdest argument when people think that lee harvey oswald acted alone that is one of the weirdest arguments that the the weird mental gymnastics that people have to play with themselves to get to the position where they think lee harvey oswald acted alone yeah well i'd like to see a movie.

[1536] I mean, JFK was good for what it was, but I'd like to see a movie about all the people that got killed in the aftermath.

[1537] Oh, a lot of people got killed.

[1538] That would be a good movie.

[1539] There's a book called Best Evidence by this guy, David Lifton, and David Lifton was an accountant who was hired to do something with the Kennedy assassination.

[1540] I forget what he was hired to do, but he went over the entire Warren Commission.

[1541] And, you know, it's a huge, many, many, many, many, many, pages, right?

[1542] And he found all these inconsistencies and all these things wrong with it and all these things that don't make any sense and he realized like they put this together to try to wrap it up tight and and make it seem like there was an obvious conclusion but it wasn't an examination like an objective examination of the assassination because in those days the the mob and the CIA were as powerful as any and they were not playing again they would just tell you look man if you do this yeah don't do this they wouldn't even have to tell you what was going to happen you knew what was going to happen they killed the president they're like don't do this If we killed him, you don't think we'll kill you?

[1543] And so many of the people that were witnesses wound up dead.

[1544] So many of the people.

[1545] There's something.

[1546] I was thinking.

[1547] Hit list.

[1548] In -depth investigation to the mysterious death.

[1549] Richard Belzer.

[1550] Ah, Belzer.

[1551] Belzer is a nut.

[1552] How funny is that?

[1553] How funny?

[1554] And he's a conspiracy guy.

[1555] Oh, he's so deep.

[1556] But how funny is his title of his book, you know, because he lost the testicle of cancer.

[1557] Did he?

[1558] His conspiracy book is called One Lone Nut.

[1559] That's pretty funny.

[1560] It's pretty funny.

[1561] He had another book called UFOs Bigfoot and Flying Saucers, I think.

[1562] Elvis Bigfoot and Flying Saucers?

[1563] That's it.

[1564] Thank you.

[1565] That's another book that I read of his that is an all conspiracy theory book.

[1566] Yeah, no, he's all about conspiracy theories.

[1567] I had a conversation with, I only met him once, but we had a long conversation about UFOs and Bigfoot and aliens.

[1568] And he's a, that motherfucker believes everything.

[1569] Right.

[1570] He's like, he's all in.

[1571] Yeah, some people just predisposed.

[1572] to be really well.

[1573] They love them.

[1574] I think they just, you know who's another one like that?

[1575] Dan Aykroyd.

[1576] Oh, really?

[1577] Oh my God.

[1578] I had him on the podcast.

[1579] He believes in everything.

[1580] Ghosts, psychics, you name it.

[1581] Really?

[1582] All that.

[1583] Extraterrestrial life?

[1584] All of it.

[1585] Everything's real.

[1586] He probably thinks the...

[1587] Crystal skulls.

[1588] All of it.

[1589] Everything.

[1590] He's all in.

[1591] Well, I was like, really?

[1592] It was a weird conversation.

[1593] I was like, he didn't have any skepticism at all.

[1594] It wasn't like, who fucking knows?

[1595] There was none of that.

[1596] It was none of that.

[1597] He was none of that.

[1598] He was all in all in all in on psychics all in on bigfoot all in on UFOs he was all in he was the he was the oldest 23 year he was on SNL he was 23 was he really yes he seemed like he was 40 yes but i like this idea great guy though i'd like this yeah but i like this idea of doing this uh all the people that got killed after jfk yeah you know i mean nothing i'm not discrediting Belser's book, but it doesn't look like the kind of thing I was envisioning.

[1599] I wanted to be written by some investigative reporter, not by a stand -up.

[1600] They all got murdered, parked their cars on train tracks, jumped off of buildings.

[1601] On my days off at Austin Comedy, I'm going to drive to Dallas two days a week and start researching for the movie.

[1602] One thing you do, if you do drive around there, this is another thing that drove me crazy, everybody's like, well, the scope on the rifle didn't even work.

[1603] Like, what are you talking about?

[1604] How do you know it didn't work?

[1605] Like, what does that mean?

[1606] Because when they've Got it, it didn't work.

[1607] If you have a scope on a rifle and you just drop the rifle, that scope doesn't work.

[1608] Really?

[1609] Yeah.

[1610] Like a scope on a rifle is of, like, if you fall, and this happened to me once on a hunting trip, I fell, and my rifle was off.

[1611] And we took it back to the range.

[1612] It was off by six inches at 100 yards with a, like, on a rest where you just squeeze off rounds.

[1613] It was, when you knock a rifle, like, if you fall down and the rifle drops, it's going to adjust the scope.

[1614] and you're shooting a bullet a couple hundred yards or a hundred yards any little wiggle like if it's an eighth of an inch to the left or the right you're going to be way off by the time it gets to the target so when all these people were saying oh the scope on the rifle didn't even work well like what do you talk you don't know that like they found this thing sitting he could have dropped it after he shot JFK I think Lee Harvey Oswald was probably in on it I think he was probably in on he's probably one of them but I think they definitely like when he said he was a patsy yeah like yeah most likely yeah most like he's a patsy he came by the way what was a better description of the jfk assassination than full metal jacket oh it was a great one yeah outstanding yeah that was really beautiful it was the way he said it was it was just like hey guess what life is life is hard here's what i say about this thing also letting prepping these guys to be killers yes and that what you're rewarding is someone who was really good at killing even if he shot the fucking president yeah it's like i don't give a shit what happened i'm just telling you this guy's a marine what is this guy emery lee emery really yeah god damn he was good he was so good in that role didn't they say he was they had advised and then they just hired him play that let me hear that it's not working what we got here is it no audio in the actual so sad this is a professional show here that was spotify yeah But look, even the way they shot it Like there's clouds overhead Derey I bet he loved the fact that it was dreary That day too You got it?

[1615] You don't know who Charles Whitman was None of you dumb asses knows By the cowboy Sir, he was that guy Who shot all those people From that tower in Austin, Texas, sir That's affirmative Charles Whitman killed 12 people From a 28 -story observation tower At the University of Texas From distances of up to 400 yards.

[1616] Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was?

[1617] Private Snowball.

[1618] Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir.

[1619] That's right.

[1620] And do you know how far away he was?

[1621] Sir, it was pretty far from that book's repository building, sir.

[1622] All right, knock it off.

[1623] 250 feet.

[1624] He was 250 feet away and shooting at a moving target.

[1625] Oswald got off three rounds with an old Italian bolt action rifle.

[1626] in only six seconds and scored two hits, including a headshot.

[1627] Do any of you people know where these individuals learned how to shoot?

[1628] Private Joker.

[1629] Sir!

[1630] In the Marines, sir!

[1631] In the Marines, outstanding!

[1632] Those individuals showed what one motivated Marine in his rifle can do.

[1633] And before you ladies leave my island, you will all be able to do the same thing.

[1634] That's great dialogue.

[1635] Kubrick was so good.

[1636] One motivated individual, he's like, it doesn't matter what it means in a great scheme of things.

[1637] We're Marines.

[1638] I'm just telling you something for here.

[1639] Training you, but it was such a great scene too because Kubrick is really highlighting like what has to go on when you're taking a regular kid and turning him into a killer.

[1640] Yeah, yeah.

[1641] Like you're really brainwashing them.

[1642] That was brainwashing.

[1643] Yeah.

[1644] Oh, absolutely.

[1645] Yeah.

[1646] They all say they all say.

[1647] so good his movies were so goddamn good you know he used to do like complex mathematics in his spare time he did yeah for fun well i don't understand what complex math math this is but one time it was an elevator at norm macdonald and we're in the elevator with these guys because no mcdonald in an elevator is very you know he'll just just he will literally say the worst thing you can say about somebody and then leave and you'll left it with all the people that's his thing one of his things.

[1648] But there's two guys who were talking about some complex, mathematics things, this is in the late 90s at 30 Rock.

[1649] And they're saying these, like, I didn't even understand what language it was.

[1650] It was a really deep mathematical thing.

[1651] And then Norm MacDonald, who never brought up math or anything like that to be in his life, goes, yeah, and start speaking to them in this, like, what sounded like tongues.

[1652] And they're like, oh, you know, uh, but, and they start speaking the binary, uh, and he goes, uh, but, and he starts speaking this mathematics talk and then they leave and then he goes to me like yeah yeah those guys are nerds or something like that and I was like how do you know that how did you know what they were talking about how did he know he's he's like oh you know he's a nerd too he knows something deep like he knows these things sometimes a very smart guy really smart yeah those guys are just you know he'll just pretend not to know something they're like yeah that's like and then you're like anybody walks in the room he just he knows what they're talking about you know yeah he's a guy that really should have had a podcast a long fucking time ago and I know he's doing something now he's sent me a text message the other day that he's starting to do a podcast now Hey Joe, man, finally doing that thing we talked about he should have done a lot because he had that show on Netflix but they muzzled him when he went on the Howard Stern show and he was saying something and he didn't want to say retarded so he said you'd have to have Down syndrome to believe that Because he thought that would be a better thing to say.

[1653] But here's the thing about Norm.

[1654] I'm still not sure if he thought that would be a better thing to say.

[1655] Right.

[1656] Because he's so smart.

[1657] He might have been doing it as a double troll.

[1658] Norm is capable of the double troll.

[1659] It's like, yeah, I don't want to say retarded.

[1660] Down syndrome.

[1661] The double troll, exactly.

[1662] Yes, he's the master of that stuff.

[1663] I randomly wound up sitting next to him on planes twice.

[1664] on two different occasions just like I go norm like out of nowhere and he's sitting next to me and one time he's we're sitting there we're talking and we're having a good old time and then he's talking about oh I quit smoking he's telling me how he quit smoking and fucking yeah finally quit smoking and he's telling me all these things then when he lands he literally like you can't stop him so runs into the airport store and buy cigarettes and he's lighting it as he's leaving I go I thought you quit he goes I did but all that talking about smoking makes me want one and he's like before he even got out the door he's lighting the cigarette he just couldn't stop himself but I like that he goes all that talking he's the one talking about it all that talk and he always puts it on you that's what's great about it but it was he's like this guy he talks about smoking he got me back smoking but it was so crazy because I was like that's great Norm it's so great you quit and he's like I want a cigarette he always looked like yeah I mean I don't drink you know i quit drinking and it was like oh really did you drink a lot yeah i quit i finally had to quit you know it's hard but i did it and they're like oh he goes yeah because i got fucking wasted last night and i said i'm never gonna drink again i was drunk and people like wait i think you quit yeah i quit that's what i'm saying you know he's always last night yeah it's like an elaborate like avid castello who yes exactly well the gambling too he fucking loves gambling yeah loves it oh yeah but that's a thing like a lot of these great comics are like really impulsive.

[1665] It's like something about like the ability to say some of the crazy shit that he says.

[1666] Yeah.

[1667] It's you have to have this, this like hot wire.

[1668] Yeah.

[1669] It's just like, yeah.

[1670] You just want to touch it.

[1671] Oh no. He's one for the books.

[1672] Yeah.

[1673] The conspiracy theory thing is an interesting, it's an interesting little obsession that a lot of people have.

[1674] Yeah.

[1675] Like the wanting to understand.

[1676] cover these secrets they're wanting to know, get to the bottom of things, find out how it all works, who killed Epstein, who killed Kennedy?

[1677] Yeah, because well the Kennedy one is so it really, what's so amazing to is you see the country change because almost like subconsciously the whole country knew that this was something else that was kind of the beginning of the destruction and downfall.

[1678] Now, you know, maybe I'm...

[1679] And 57 fucking years ago, too.

[1680] That's It's crazy.

[1681] And there's still, yeah, there's still...

[1682] Still mystery and it's like, they got away with it.

[1683] Whoever did it got away with it.

[1684] Whoever did it is long gone.

[1685] Yeah, this idea that everybody gets caught for things.

[1686] Like, not everything is an episode of Law and Order.

[1687] No. And they took to all those...

[1688] Anytime they interview those mob guys, you know, they all say that stuff.

[1689] You know what I mean?

[1690] They all say, yeah, well, I heard this, I heard that.

[1691] I don't know, but this is what I heard.

[1692] Yeah.

[1693] You know, and I'm sure it's, you know, it's a bad of honor.

[1694] They go, yeah, I know what's happening, but still, you know.

[1695] Yeah.

[1696] Well, that was the other weird thing about New York for years and years and years, right?

[1697] New York was essentially run by the mob.

[1698] And Giuliani helped clean that up, too.

[1699] Oh, yeah.

[1700] He busted that.

[1701] I mean, he helped clean it up in the 80s when he was the – he took – he did that commission case.

[1702] You know what I mean?

[1703] Crazy how this one guy, Giuliani was responsible for a lot of the improvement in New York City.

[1704] Yeah.

[1705] A lot.

[1706] Oh, yeah.

[1707] Sometimes it takes one guy like that.

[1708] He's like the Bufit Pusser of New York.

[1709] city the um because the uh yeah walking tall taking that taking the fish market down was i was everybody was going he's going to get killed really when he went after when he became may he went to explain to people the whole well like the you know the mob ran like like joe saying sanitation like even things like i was in the restaurant union so i didn't know you know i spake my dues i'm like an idiot and then but like all they ran the restaurant but then when you run the restaurant union you don't just run the bar and the waiters, you run the linen supply, like the mob was linen supply, and the liquor distributors, like all the mob kids, when they weren't, you know, when they were just related somebody to be driving the liquor trucks, you know, it was all, it was, you know, and the food, the meat, you know, remember they had the famous thing with Frank Perdue and chicken and stuff, so they really ran, like, you know, they'd run an industry, but there's like 20 jobs that are close to that industry where they're involved you know and and a lot of guys had no show jobs and all it's no so jobs and javitson exactly you just said it yeah i had a friend of mine who had a no show job at the javits center oh yeah i knew a few people who worked over the javitson what is that look at juliani back then right right yeah and they said the mafia put an eight hundred thousand dollar bounty on his head sure it's amazing that they didn't kill him what is it's amazing that they didn't yeah i guess i guess there was still a few of the old times that like we don't do you know what I mean it was still that thing about the United States like we don't kill them doing their job I guess you know I guess but it was interesting because it's probably tried they just couldn't get to maybe yeah but it was also that law that was uh you know that guy that it all came from that RICO law that was some professor just came with this law and somebody in the DA's office somebody goes that's a great we could use that law I forget how it worked that was an interesting story racketeering yeah it was just some guy that had this concept of a law but he wasn't he was like up state new york or something you know i mean and that's how they got them all and that's how they ended up taking i mean they're still around obviously you know but it's you ever hear that guy michael franchisee you know who that is i've seen him be interviewed yeah fascinating charismatic guy right well it's fascinating that he's just out there running around yeah but i guess he didn't rat anybody out or something you know so it's just like you know that generation's gone so they're probably just like ah the hell with it but you know what the fuck was the guy's name the hitman for uh for goddie that oh sammy the bull sammy the bull gravano right yeah he's out too like him too like long interviews long form interviews they said talked to him about you know i mean he's a murderer just out there wandering around yeah and even got arrested later in his life for selling ecstasy yeah yeah well he was trying to get you know he's trying to keep young he said it was this hitman sammy the bull Gravano is now a social media star promoting his own podcast and showing off his cozy new family life in Arizona 35 years after turning on the Gambino family and John Gotti wow he's 75 and he's just starting his party he's like norm he's just starting the pot they should do a podcast together look at him there two guys that should have done one years he looks great he does look good he looks great he's 75 he looks fucking great well they always said about him was he would go to the gym the other guys would go out he wouldn't stay out late at night you know that's kind of crazy and he's doing a podcast just like Hillary Clinton a couple of murderers doing podcasts Yeah Look how good he looks though That's so weird Joe it doesn't look that good I don't know why you keep saying Go back to that Go back to that picture Come on If I look that good at 75 Come on Look at that He looks fucking good there You gotta admit For a 75 year old guy Yeah I mean he looks Using the same microphones We use Jamie coincidence He looks 65.

[1710] No. They're very good.

[1711] He looks good.

[1712] Oh, it's just because he's a nice smile like that.

[1713] It's about 62.

[1714] You look about 62.

[1715] 13 years younger than he really is.

[1716] That's what I say for that picture.

[1717] Yeah.

[1718] Do you think his podcast any good?

[1719] Yeah.

[1720] Would you be a guest?

[1721] I bet it's a, I don't know.

[1722] I don't go on that many.

[1723] I don't like going on that many podcasts.

[1724] How many have you been on?

[1725] Plus, what would he ask me?

[1726] Let me ask you know, these mob guys.

[1727] You're going to kill a guy.

[1728] They're not the best comedy.

[1729] Maybe he is.

[1730] Maybe him and Michael Franchese He could tell stories Well, Frachese seems more like You know Like he was like a You know Yeah More like a guy like We would understand He is a very charismatic guy Franchise Yes Yeah But who knows Sam of the Bull might be You know what I mean He's got that street He's got that street Intelligence And how many guys are in jail For life From selling pot They're watching these guys Doing these podcasts They've killed nine people Go what the fuck Kind of shit is this Yeah What kind of lawyer Did I have the lawyer's like listen where's the hundred million the bad news franchisee is there's a hundred million isn't oh he's got a hundred million buried somewhere he's got to look at it nice see he looks like a former mom boss oh yeah look at that nice suit he's wearing yes really well dressed and how did he how is he out how much time did he have to do I don't know but he did I know he's in jail but um but he wasn't in there for murder he was in there for some kind of that gasoline there's a big gasoline thing the 80s.

[1731] I don't know how they did it, but it was like one of those, you know, things with the Russian mob.

[1732] I think he was involved with them in some way.

[1733] Yeah, he sold billions of gallons of gas.

[1734] The family would collect the state and local gas taxes, but keep the money instead.

[1735] At the same time, they were often selling the gas at lower prices than at legitimate gas stations.

[1736] The mid -1980s Fortune magazine listed Franchese as number 18 on its list of top 50 wealthiest and most powerful gangsters in the world.

[1737] That can't be good for you.

[1738] He made billions of dollars over the years.

[1739] Wow.

[1740] Not only for himself, but for the five families as well by 1984.

[1741] His greatest net worth was a staggering $20 billion, making him one of the richest gangsters of all time.

[1742] Wait a minute.

[1743] Nobody's worth $20 billion.

[1744] Nobody is worth $20 billion in 1984.

[1745] Says he was.

[1746] What do you?

[1747] Wikipedia's line?

[1748] Even Bill Gates wasn't worth $20 billion.

[1749] In 1985, Franchise was indicted on 14 counts of racketeering, counterfeiting and extortion in the gasoline bootleg racket.

[1750] 1986 Franchise pleaded guilty on two counts.

[1751] He was sentenced to 10 years in federal prison with 14 million in restitution payments.

[1752] The guy's worth $20 billion.

[1753] That ain't shit.

[1754] So that's where the $100 billion is.

[1755] So what is he doing now?

[1756] First of all, if he has $20 billion, why is there only $100 million buried?

[1757] I would have buried 10 billion.

[1758] That's a good question.

[1759] Keep scrolling down on that page.

[1760] I was trying to find the 20 billion thing.

[1761] What does it say at the bottom?

[1762] I want to find out what happened.

[1763] If that was me. When did he get out?

[1764] He's a motivational speaker now.

[1765] This is how you steal.

[1766] What is?

[1767] He got out in 89.

[1768] I got re -sentenced for violating his parole terms.

[1769] Oh, what did he do to get arrested for tax fraud in L .A.?

[1770] He sent back to New York.

[1771] He started making the balance of the court order of restitution payments earlier that year.

[1772] Prosecutors also said Franchese was not.

[1773] not considered by the government to be a cooperating witness.

[1774] That's why he's alive.

[1775] He was released in 94.

[1776] Wow.

[1777] Wow.

[1778] Oh, yeah.

[1779] So he made an autobiography.

[1780] He sounds like a fucking hustler, right?

[1781] He's been interviewed by Jim Rome.

[1782] He's obviously a smart guy.

[1783] He persuaded New York Yankees players who owed money to the Colombo loan sharks to fix baseball games for betting purposes.

[1784] Holy shit.

[1785] 2003 franchisee published Blood Covenant An Update and Expanded Life Story He's out now Because I mean he's out Out there doing things But I mean he's out there doing things I saw him being interviewed by somebody recently On YouTube Yeah Yeah Because I'm sure you know Like you said If you didn't cooperate And most of those guys are dead anyway Wait a minute They contacted me Yeah really recently I got a request to have him on Instead bring him on I don't know if I want him to know where we are.

[1786] Good point.

[1787] Just in case you piss him off.

[1788] Yeah, there he is.

[1789] Okay, he's being viewed.

[1790] No, he's, yeah, but that valutainment guy, that guy does a very good show.

[1791] He's on YouTube.

[1792] Yes, he's very good.

[1793] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1794] He's very good.

[1795] That's what I've seen him.

[1796] Yeah, he's got a bunch of YouTube show.

[1797] Look how confident and comfortable that guy is.

[1798] Out of jail.

[1799] Looking good.

[1800] Nice little pocket scarf.

[1801] Yeah, gentlemen.

[1802] Looks like a real mobster.

[1803] Yeah.

[1804] I wonder if he was at the Palm Shores Club that night.

[1805] I'll never know.

[1806] When I was friends with Fitzsimmons, Fitzsimmons lived in Little Italy, and he lived right above the social club where John Gotti and all those guys used to go.

[1807] He lived right there.

[1808] When I went to visit him, I was like, Jesus, Greg.

[1809] Like, he was right there.

[1810] Oh, hilarious.

[1811] Yeah, he, like, he rented this place from my.

[1812] like this old Italian couple.

[1813] Oh, that's really fair.

[1814] Yeah, he was right there.

[1815] Like, right, you see those guys walking down the street.

[1816] Walking to the social club.

[1817] Oh, my God.

[1818] They probably had him checked out, making sure he wasn't, you know.

[1819] Guy like him could be a federal agent, you know.

[1820] But this is a Simmons has that look.

[1821] If they saw his act, they'd know.

[1822] There's no way.

[1823] He's too funny.

[1824] It's also like the, those days, like, when the mob ran New York, it's like the mob ran Vegas.

[1825] Like, everybody has these romantic notions.

[1826] those days.

[1827] But again, it's just like gritty New York City.

[1828] Sure.

[1829] As long as they weren't fucking you over.

[1830] Exactly.

[1831] It's all fun until you're trying to, you know, get paid.

[1832] Like that great Richard Pryor routine.

[1833] Remember that one?

[1834] What was that?

[1835] Oh, right, right, right.

[1836] Trying to get paid by the mom.

[1837] You guys just laugh at when he pulls a gun out.

[1838] The good old days.

[1839] Yeah.

[1840] Yeah.

[1841] But I mean, but yeah, of course you miss New York, whatever flavor, you know, you take, that's what you miss is whatever that other intangible thing was.

[1842] Yeah.

[1843] madness but uh it did get like you said time square cleaned up it was the worst time square was horrible i mean i hated time everybody hated time square and then it got cleaned up and right away were like it looks like dizzeland it did get to be like a big applebees like we were saying it really did get yes it became like uh like just real chain yes chain restaurants i feel like that was one of the downfalls was chains but they're the only was it you know what i mean like small business owners weren't going to be in doing you know they weren't able to afford the rents yeah and a small business owners or pawn stores before that well that was also when you got there like carolines changed yeah carolines was right on broadway and i remember carolines at one point in time was like you guys none of you people are from here like carolines became like this tourist trap right you know yes like if you want like if you did gotham you got new york city people yeah but if you did carolines you were kidding like all tourists yeah Yeah, it was weird.

[1844] They were off from Kansas and shit.

[1845] First time in New York.

[1846] Well, people would say that if you want a good test of Iraq to see if it worked nationally was Carolines, that's what it became.

[1847] Yeah.

[1848] Because like you said, it was really tourists.

[1849] Yeah.

[1850] But it wasn't always like that.

[1851] When I lived in New York, Carolines was like a real New York club.

[1852] I know.

[1853] Yeah.

[1854] But because they cleaned up Times Square, they cleaned up Carolines, too.

[1855] Yeah, because people didn't want us to go to Times Square in the old days.

[1856] I mean, in the 80s, nobody wanted to go to Times Square.

[1857] you up to some devious behavior there's no point to be in there is dangerfield still open danger fields is exactly the same how is it possible that it's still open uh well maybe ask you talk to fred chaise he's selling gas on the back danger fields has not changed in 35 years i was there like three years ago i was laughing so hard i used to love that club oh i love it you third because you do you could really work out oh nobody was there nobody's They had 30 minutes sets.

[1858] Yeah.

[1859] Do you remember Bobby, the doorman?

[1860] Yeah, of course.

[1861] Bobby.

[1862] Big old fucking Scottish guy, powerlifter.

[1863] Bobby.

[1864] I saw him pick a man up by his neck.

[1865] Some guy was heckling.

[1866] He grabbed the man by him.

[1867] Bobby was an enormous human being.

[1868] Grab the man by his neck and lifting him up in the air, carried him out.

[1869] Like he had one hand on his belt, one hand on his neck.

[1870] Because he was such a tank.

[1871] He picked the guy up like the guy was an empty suitcase.

[1872] But even that's an old -school technique for bouncing by the belt and the neck.

[1873] Just wha -mm.

[1874] Is that the great, yeah, Bobby.

[1875] Yeah, Bobby, he goes, you'd get offstage even if you killed.

[1876] He goes, oh, you tricked him again with that bag of shite for an act.

[1877] It was a great place because I knew, I knew that Kinnison had performed there and Rodney Dangerfield did those Dangerfield specials there.

[1878] I mean, it was his spot.

[1879] It was amazing, but you would go there and it was like, why is this place empty?

[1880] Yeah.

[1881] I don't understand.

[1882] Yeah.

[1883] They made all the money in prom.

[1884] season and I guess I did prom shows there I did them with Otto and George Otto and George and I did prom shows those are fun they were wild they were wild they never rotated the show they would just put in more people like and they told you to they told you to never change your act because they wanted people to leave so if folks don't know what prom shows are prom shows are you would get there and this is no bullshit you might do a 7 p .m. show and you might do five shows a night So your last show might be like 2 o 'clock in the morning.

[1885] Yeah.

[1886] And you would leave there.

[1887] It would be light out.

[1888] Yep.

[1889] I mean, it was crazy.

[1890] It really didn't make any sense.

[1891] And they're all 17 years old.

[1892] High school kids.

[1893] And they're leaving their prom and they would get them in there on limos and pump them into the club.

[1894] And the kids were hammered and drunk.

[1895] Yep.

[1896] Yeah, I saw a kid go on stage.

[1897] He took the microphone away from Alou Bell and blue cigar smoke in his face.

[1898] I was like, Jesus, this is rough.

[1899] This is a rough show.

[1900] It was wild.

[1901] man and they were so dumb these kids they were so stupid Otto and George was on he was fucking hilarious and his kid's like I could see his lips moving his lips are moving he was mad that you could see the ventriloic's lips he didn't even care that it was some of the funniest fucking material so funny do you remember when he had a Kennedy head did you ever see when Otto and George had a Kennedy head he you know George the dummy he had rigged this thing up where George's head would flap back and it would like expose his brain and he was working on this thing we would have like a Kennedy head and he said he goes yeah I want to get it so it squirts blood so I could get blood to squirt out of his head I mean it was really I mean I guess they're all like that but he is such a sick relationship with that goddamn George oh it was weird it was like an episode of the twilight zone it really was yeah it was yeah a couple of people told the stories about the time they'd be out and you know somebody would say something and then Otto would just go crazy and attack them for verbally abusing the dummy.

[1902] Well, a Puerto Rican guy stabbed the dummy on stage one.

[1903] That's right.

[1904] That's right.

[1905] I don't remember where that was, but I remember the story.

[1906] I remember the story.

[1907] He would sometimes have to check on the dummy.

[1908] Like open the trunk.

[1909] I got to check on George.

[1910] Yeah.

[1911] And pop girl.

[1912] He was with a girl one time.

[1913] I forget that story.

[1914] But it was something with the girl and she said something about the dummy.

[1915] He goes, hey, stays with me. And he went crazy and she just ran out of the house because she's like, he's a cycle.

[1916] I don't really blame her.

[1917] Do you remember that episode?

[1918] the Twilight Zone with the guy's dummy said talking to him Yes Yes Yes Yeah there's something About dummy acts There's something Duncan Trusel used to have this dummy And someone stole it His dummy was Little Hobo And Little Hobo The act In the act The dummy was His grandfather's dummy And his grandfather had died And his grandfather's Dying wish Was that Duncan would bring Little Hobo on stage One last time Before he buried him With his grandpa So he'd have The dummy on stage And then the dummy would start talking to him he's like wait a minute how the fuck are you talking it was like this crazy thing where the dummy would take him over and he would play pink floyd he would sing along with there it is it's talking a little hobo and people did i took him with me to the uk and they did not know what to fucking expect wish you were here so he would play that song pink floyd song wish you were here and him and the dummy would be singing at the same time two different voices because he had like it synced up he had like a whole setup with recordings and everything it was amazing that's great living in a fish bowl year after year and his eyes would roll back in his head and the dummy would be singing it was amazing and people it was amazing do people believe it oh no they would do they would love it it was so good it was such a good routine and then someone fucking stole little hobo someone stole it and so he had to get a new little hobo and the new little hobo was even creepier he hasn't done it forever I would love for him to do that routine again but would that be his closer Yeah.

[1919] Oh, yeah.

[1920] You couldn't follow a little hobo.

[1921] Is it in there?

[1922] Give me some volume.

[1923] We got a problem with our system.

[1924] I just thought of it.

[1925] I have to mute like five different things.

[1926] The one last chance on stage and dedicate a song to my grandfather.

[1927] Is that okay with you guys if I do that?

[1928] That's not wish you were here.

[1929] Oh, oh, oh, that was, that was when someone was getting married, that fucking Satanist, with his name, Stanton LeVay.

[1930] Anton LeVay's, yeah I took a photo with that guy and nuts online are convinced that that's the evidence that I am a Satanist because the guy took it he was doing like the devil horns and shit and he was getting married and Duncan performed at his wedding and I had to go because it was the craziest fucking shit ever Duncan was there and they hired him to do his little hobo routine at this guy's satanic wedding so he couldn't just wish you were here he had to use they're like you know we're more into this kind of like heavy metal as I got no no he did wish you were here that was that was the program because yeah it's hard to it's hard to take a Satan seriously when he does the devil horns yeah you know but he was a father didn't go for that kind of stuff I think he was the grandson or the son of a fame of Anton LeVay I forget what it was grandson but but their idea of what Satanism is is a little different like you know you think oh he worships the devil their Satan is was like hedonism really what it was like it was like giving into your carnal instincts and this living for the moment doing whatever you wanted to do but I don't necessarily think now I sound like the grandson that's what the grandson said the son of the grandson whatever Satan apologist they were trying to explain to me I'm like so you believe in the devil you worship the devil like what is this well they're just a it's like you know the grandfather probably was a real deal I think it was just they're being silly yeah it's like Bob Dylan versus Jacob Dylan Jacob Dylan's talented but, you know, Bob is it just, it's a different, you know, it's a different kind of talent, yeah.

[1931] Jacob's like pop, he's, I mean, he's got great songs.

[1932] Yeah, yeah.

[1933] But he's not like Anton LeVay.

[1934] Where did that guy, where the fuck did Jacob Dillon go?

[1935] I don't know.

[1936] I met him back in the day when I was filming Fear Factor.

[1937] His kids were like Fear Factor fans.

[1938] Right.

[1939] And they came to watch one of the episodes.

[1940] I met Kenny G. that way too.

[1941] You did?

[1942] They came to the episode?

[1943] Yeah, they came to watch it being filmed.

[1944] But the episodes were like outside.

[1945] Yeah.

[1946] Yeah, they came to watch.

[1947] Yeah, they came to watch, like, people eat dicks and stuff.

[1948] Yeah.

[1949] There's thugin.

[1950] What is this?

[1951] It's the evolution of.

[1952] Oh.

[1953] That's two little hobos?

[1954] It was a wild night.

[1955] Oh, okay.

[1956] So he did some experimental work.

[1957] I see that.

[1958] That was like that painter, I forget his name, but it's like, yeah, I see what he's doing.

[1959] He had different phases of his career.

[1960] Well, that's the problem.

[1961] When you have a closer like that, then you just, you can't really get inspired to keep working because you're like this clothes is going to change it was weird to follow i because i brought him with me on the road oh my god you should have made him come back up and do it at the end no it was awesome it was fun it was fun that's so funny so Colin couldn't what happens with you now where do you go where do you go from here that's the question isn't you need to do stand up again where do we all go from here well maybe um i don't know like legitimately oh you've thought about it where am i gonna i don't know i mean i write you know i'm right every i write every day i'm writing scripts writing books i'm doing all that stuff you write every day yeah something do you sit down a specific time and do it or no i don't have that discipline you know but i make sure i write you know but i'm like i'm sure like every comment like i'll write like five days in more and i'll be like i'm a beast i'm really i'm a disciplined person and then the next day i'll just be like i just start eating and you know like any like any like any Narcos offshoot show.

[1962] Any show that's related in any way to Narcos is the greatest show to me on Netflix.

[1963] Why do you like Narcos?

[1964] I just love all those shows.

[1965] I love Fowder.

[1966] You ever watched that one?

[1967] What's that?

[1968] The Israeli one?

[1969] No. Fowder.

[1970] That's another Netflix.

[1971] I only watched the first two seasons of Narcos.

[1972] Once it wasn't Pablo Escobar anymore, I kind of lost...

[1973] Was that guy not the...

[1974] Well, they did it in Mexico.

[1975] It was great too.

[1976] But nobody was as good as that guy to play in Pablo Escobo.

[1977] He's incredible.

[1978] Because most evil, like...

[1979] Even what I expected to see Pablo Escobar was like this guy that's like, and he's just playing this other thing.

[1980] This dull kind of banality of evil guy who's just like looking.

[1981] And then just, oh boy, was he an actor?

[1982] I believed it, though.

[1983] Me too.

[1984] That's all in.

[1985] All in.

[1986] When he confronts those cops on the bridge.

[1987] Yes.

[1988] And he's like silver lead.

[1989] It's your choice.

[1990] And they're like, oh, take the silver.

[1991] Shit.

[1992] The fuck.

[1993] Yeah.

[1994] that's a great it's a it's just again like I had a huge photo of Pablo Escobar in the old studio huge of his mugshot was big smiling face yeah and people would see it in the photos because I'd take pictures with the guests in front of the werewolf with this Pablo Escobar photo and people get mad they're like you're celebrating this guy like he was terrible to Colombia like for me as an outsider who loved that narco show's like look at this chaos this fucking guy right controlled Colombia for so many years made so much money sale on coke But for the people that had to deal with it, it's the same as like the romantic notions of Times Square.

[1995] Exactly.

[1996] Yeah.

[1997] It's like all, and even me, who knows better.

[1998] That photo.

[1999] But the, oh, God.

[2000] That huge mug shot.

[2001] We had like a five -foot version of that at our podcast studio in L .A. That's funny because that shot, and he probably loves that shot and probably hates that other shot, where he's as fat as a house.

[2002] That can't be him.

[2003] With the wife.

[2004] Yeah.

[2005] That's not him.

[2006] That's him.

[2007] All those pictures are him.

[2008] Jesus.

[2009] Well, he let himself go full apart.

[2010] Well, he's just doing coke and drinking.

[2011] I mean, what a party that guy led until the end.

[2012] I mean, he never really got the hair under control.

[2013] You don't all that money.

[2014] You should wear a hat.

[2015] What kind of hat?

[2016] Yeah, how about that in front of the White House?

[2017] Fucking wild.

[2018] It's weird when you go by the White House, how close it is to the street.

[2019] Yeah, I know.

[2020] It's confusing.

[2021] It's crazy.

[2022] How has nobody fucking shot that place full of holes?

[2023] No, they probably, bedroom's probably in the back.

[2024] Well, even if it was.

[2025] still it's weird how close it is because back then you know you had muskets it wasn't I'd like the bedroom up front wouldn't you just where you can look out and say hey people don't realize that president's looking at you you live wild you live on the edge right there yeah that's live in the back of the white house that's why you're never going to be president that's one of the reasons yeah you might be able to be president you know a lot about politics probably more than any comic I know I like I feel like I feel like I I would be a good president but that's that's the first step you have to be to lose narcissistic enough that's why i think you're a good president yeah to think i could do this i have two copies of that narcissism book if you want it uh i like the idea better than we save them to the green room just to watch the fury and then we film i mean joe i hope we're going to have some cameras in this thing we film the anger in their faces when they say he's gave this book to me i feel like you're honestly considering moving here yeah well i do love i do love the idea of it do you do you really Really?

[2026] For, like, legitimately, all bullshit aside, you would move here?

[2027] I don't know.

[2028] Ron White lives here.

[2029] I don't know if I would move here.

[2030] Do you know Ron White?

[2031] Sure.

[2032] Yeah, he's here.

[2033] But I don't know, I don't know Ron White well enough where it would influence my move.

[2034] I can introduce you to.

[2035] No, I mean, I know him.

[2036] We could get drunk together.

[2037] I don't think he'll sweet me off my feet.

[2038] No. Ron White's lifestyle and my lifestyle would not be, yeah.

[2039] You could just hang out while he drinks.

[2040] I'll drink for both of us.

[2041] I'd rather, no, I'd rather do.

[2042] I'd rather watch you do, like, like, whatever violent stuff, you know, like throwing spears.

[2043] I don't know what you're doing on the ranch, but shit like that is more interesting to me. Okay.

[2044] You know what I mean?

[2045] Like all that, I'm sure you got like archery.

[2046] I'm sure you got all kinds of fun stuff to do.

[2047] My old studio, I had an inside range.

[2048] I had a 45 -yard indoor range.

[2049] You did?

[2050] Oh, yeah.

[2051] Yeah.

[2052] I had a rubber elk that shoot, I'll shoot arrows into.

[2053] Are you going to get all kinds of stuff like that?

[2054] Of course.

[2055] Yeah, 100%.

[2056] It's kind of cool.

[2057] Yeah.

[2058] Yeah.

[2059] Yeah, the next place where we have a studio will 100 % have a range.

[2060] Oh, I think you meant.

[2061] In the house?

[2062] I have it in my house too.

[2063] Right.

[2064] No, I have it at my house.

[2065] But, I mean, the next studio, I'll have a range.

[2066] I like to do it after shows.

[2067] It clears my mind.

[2068] That's good.

[2069] Have you ever practiced archery?

[2070] Yeah.

[2071] Once.

[2072] Really?

[2073] I tried it.

[2074] It's fun.

[2075] It was fun.

[2076] Just something about hitting a target.

[2077] Something about letting it go.

[2078] Yeah.

[2079] It's like seeing that arrow hit its mark.

[2080] It's great cleansing for the mind.

[2081] I feel like the, I feel like the invention of guns took a lot of the purity out of war.

[2082] You know what I mean?

[2083] Right.

[2084] In the old days, it was old.

[2085] But even archers, really, think about it.

[2086] You're fighting with sword.

[2087] You're used to a certain number.

[2088] And suddenly all these asshole archers that are thousands of yards back, just, you know, release the archers, you know.

[2089] Well, the craziest shit was catapults, right?

[2090] Yeah.

[2091] This launch a ball covered flaming tar flying at you.

[2092] That's how they took at Constantinople.

[2093] I was watching this thing on that.

[2094] And I was like, man, those goddamn catapults.

[2095] They didn't expect them, you know?

[2096] and they just, yeah, flaming, they just took it down.

[2097] They were like, what is this?

[2098] So when I do open up a club out here, I'm going to send out the signal.

[2099] I'm going to let you know.

[2100] But honestly, I would love it if you came by at least and worked.

[2101] Of course I would.

[2102] And I will test everybody now that we've got the rapid testing.

[2103] We can get results in 15 minutes.

[2104] I think we could do a whole crowd in an hour.

[2105] I think if you have an 8 o 'clock show and tell people to get there at 7.

[2106] Yes.

[2107] 200 people, you could do it inside an hour, easy.

[2108] get a staff of nurses everybody's masked up until you get tested wouldn't be that hard to do I mean yeah if you even have to by then but I mean I love the idea yeah and people want to get their early plus it'll get people there early nothing worse than a bunch of latecomers exactly then when they come inside they can have a drink once they pass and then you can take your fucking mask off and live like a person you're inside you don't have to worry everybody's been cleared everybody's been tested I love it I love it too I love the fact that right now I'm clear you're clear about so You know it.

[2109] I know it.

[2110] It feels great.

[2111] It does feel great.

[2112] Today I think was my, would I say 37th test?

[2113] I think today is my 37th test.

[2114] I think it can be done.

[2115] I just want them to come up with some sort of a treatment where we could just get, but I am going to fucking appreciate things now.

[2116] I mean, I do appreciate things, but I'm really going to appreciate stand -up again.

[2117] When we get back to it, you're going to savor it.

[2118] Yeah.

[2119] Right?

[2120] Because sometimes it gets to the point where you're like, I want to do good.

[2121] But it's not that you don't enjoy it.

[2122] You can't help but enjoy it if you're a stand -up.

[2123] But you're not, say, you're like trying to get to the goal.

[2124] I want to kill instead of the whole journey of like, like sometimes I'll do it now and I'm like, I feel great afterwards.

[2125] I want to feel great during it too.

[2126] What if we lured you here by producing tough room, producing and promoting tough room?

[2127] I don't know.

[2128] When you think about it?

[2129] I'll think about it for sure.

[2130] I really will.

[2131] Because if you did it as a podcast, I think it would be fucking giant.

[2132] I really think it would be giant.

[2133] I think if we take the time and really think about it and organize really good guests, like organize guys like Joey Diaz, guys like Greg Fitzsimmons, funny fucking people, have them come in.

[2134] They're going to do stand -up at the place.

[2135] Yes.

[2136] They'll do stand -up at the place and do it just like you did tough crowd.

[2137] We have subjects in the news.

[2138] You bring it up and you have a table full of great comics talking shit like a podcast.

[2139] Yeah.

[2140] I'll think about it for sure.

[2141] Please, thank you.

[2142] I will, I will.

[2143] All right.

[2144] That's great.

[2145] Listen, man, I'm glad you made it here.

[2146] Thank you.

[2147] It was an honor.

[2148] It was a pleasure.

[2149] It was really.

[2150] We do it again?

[2151] We'll do it again.

[2152] Okay, we'll do it again.

[2153] And when the club opens, I want you to be there like one of the first weeks, please.

[2154] It's great.

[2155] I would love it.

[2156] All right.

[2157] Yeah, I love it.

[2158] All right.

[2159] Do you have social media?

[2160] Do you have all that jazz?

[2161] Yeah, Twitter.

[2162] But I mean, my book.

[2163] I haven't even promoted my book.

[2164] Oh.

[2165] Tell everybody about your book.

[2166] My book is called overstated.

[2167] It just came out.

[2168] it's a roast of the 50 states basically so it's basically talking about the United States right now and we've all been to I've been to 47 I haven't been to 50 maybe even in 50 I've been to 47 I haven't I've been to the Dakotas and Wyoming I was just going to say that I haven't been to the codas of Wyoming wow I haven't that was exactly what I'm going to say I've been to Alaska and Hawaii there it is overstated coast to coast to coast roast of 50 states I haven't been to I guess I've been everywhere else I kind of think nope never been in New Mexico either I mean I think I drove through when I was a little kid but that's it I don't think I've been anywhere else yeah I did shows in New Mexico and we went to the hotel I was like well I like it here in Albuquerque I'm lying there in the room I'm like this is nice me in Mexico it's like a drive by next door and it was a nice hotel Albuquerque's that's a wild west that's Navajo country yeah yeah tap tapia remember Johnny Tapia yes I do that fucking big what was the mother Virgin Mary Yeah on his chest Guadalupe That's right Virgin of Guadalupe On his chest He was a great warrior He was a bad motherfucker Yeah He died That was awesome All right Conlon You're the best I appreciate your brother Thank you so much As soon as Austin Comedy Club opens up You're in Yes Goodbye everybody See ya