Russell Kane: How To Build Confidence & Stay Young

[0] Russell Kane.

[1] He's known as a multi -award -winning comedian, presenter, actor, author and scriptwriter.

[2] But man, this guy is so much more.

[3] I started doing all this biohacking to survive on less sleep, to not lose your hair, or to slow down the aging process.

[4] It fucked my life.

[5] In the proper sense, everything fell apart, like a junkie.

[6] How can I get more of that?

[7] My relationship with my girlfriend fell apart.

[8] My bill started.

[9] to not be paid.

[10] I started to look thin.

[11] It's the closest thing to a drug addiction I've ever experienced.

[12] Russell Kane, he's known as a multi -award -winning comedian, presenter, actor, author, and scriptwriter.

[13] But man, this guy is so much more.

[14] He's genuinely, deeply intellectually curious, something that honestly surprised me. And this sounds like it might be offensive or a weird thing to say, but I'm going to say it anyway.

[15] I didn't realize how.

[16] smart this guy is, remarkably self -aware.

[17] And to top it all off, brutally honest, he says it how it is.

[18] He has an ability to point out things that I think most of us muggles miss, and he's also genuinely just a really nice and hilarious human being.

[19] Today, you won't hear many jokes.

[20] This is the more serious side of Russell Kane, and a side of him that I did not know and would not have guessed before speaking to him.

[21] So without further ado, I'm Stephen Butler, and this is the diary of a CEO.

[22] I hope nobody's listening.

[23] But if you are, then please keep this to yourself.

[24] Russell.

[25] Hello.

[26] One of the things I read when I was reading about your story was a quote.

[27] And I'm going to read the quote to you.

[28] You said, I remained a boy while he was alive, even when I was 18, and I needed to be a man to tell these stories.

[29] What were you talking about when you said that?

[30] Um, well, I don't think that's true of just me. I think any boy or probably girl who has a reasonably overbearing and dominant father, you sort of remain a child.

[31] Now that I'm a father myself, I can see that's true.

[32] So when my daughter Minner is 40, she's still going to be my, my baby.

[33] So that's the positive side of it.

[34] The negative side of it is if it's quite an overbearing masculine energy, you sort of, I felt sometimes a bit like a bonsai.

[35] Like I kept nearly growing and then the roots were.

[36] So I was fully grown, but small.

[37] So if my dad was in the room, you know, I was instantly childlike, I would say, inside.

[38] So it's just a very dominating figure.

[39] And I think that would have been the same had my dad not dropped down dead from a heart attack years ago.

[40] I think that would have been the same when I'd been 40, 50, 60.

[41] If my dad had been a 90 -year -old shouting in the corner, I probably still would have been like that.

[42] Even if he wasn't in the room?

[43] No, no. As soon as in his presence, I think.

[44] But so far as this, I think that quote might be talking about stand -up.

[45] I wouldn't have dared to tell the funny stories about him while he was alive, I don't think, just on the risk he was offended or, you know, there'd be consequences.

[46] What was he like for anybody that hasn't read about your story?

[47] Steroid taking, shaven -headed, silverback, dormant, right -wing, angry, council estate, working -class barbell, curl, semi -professional bodybuilder, lifeguard, sheet metal worker, lagger, nutter.

[48] By lagger, I don't mean someone who gets on it.

[49] I mean someone who puts the insulation on the outside of pipes.

[50] The hardest job you can imagine crawling in boilers, ripping out of spestos, fiberglass, cut hands, white transit van.

[51] Get out of waste.

[52] Just massive.

[53] Shirts tailored.

[54] This is when he's taking steroids, that was before I was born, shirts tailored, trousers splitting Hulk like at the thigh, just a force of meat called Dave.

[55] Wow.

[56] That was my dad.

[57] Actually called Dave.

[58] Dave.

[59] actually called Dave from Essex.

[60] So, yeah, he was just very old school.

[61] So even though he's more like someone who was born in about 1920, he had sort of the politics and the attitude, very unreconstructed masculinity, quite knuckle -draggy.

[62] But just worked himself to death to provide, barely raised his voice at me, certainly never laid a finger at me, but didn't need to.

[63] I find the truly terrifying cockney, can just give you something.

[64] And you fucking get in there now and you're done.

[65] I actually piss came out of my body once when he spoke to me like that.

[66] Really?

[67] I literally pissed myself.

[68] I'd thrown my brother on the bed and he was crying.

[69] And there's nothing scarier than hearing those doom, doon, on the stairs if you've done something to your brother or sister and you know your dad's coming up the stairs.

[70] And he's like, what happened?

[71] What have you done?

[72] Your brother?

[73] And I just pissed myself.

[74] And that guy never laid a finger on me. That's power.

[75] my mom definitely laid a finger I don't think I would have been scared of her if she didn't but I was fucking terrified if my mum like but she would beat me like but I couldn't imagine how she could have achieved that same objective without hitting me with something it's it would be analogous of the nuclear deterrent threat if you know I've got nuclear weapons I don't need to fire them for you not to attack me so I know I knew my dad had nuclear whereas I just sounds incredibly sexist but reality is once you're You're a 14, 15 year old lad.

[76] You're the same size as your mum.

[77] There are no, you know, where are the nuclear weapons?

[78] She's going to have to put her money where her mouth is.

[79] But haven't you got to know how nuclear weapons work to know that they're...

[80] I just need to, you just need you to look at my...

[81] You know, you to be honest with you, my dad's giving me so many positive things.

[82] It's just that the negative things are funny.

[83] So that's why I talk about them disproportionately.

[84] But to teach someone, I'm 5 '10 like a pepper army with hair on.

[85] But when I stand on stage, I don't need to hit people or shout.

[86] They sit in their seats and some of them in the front row shit themselves if I even look at them.

[87] So who have I learned that from?

[88] It's partly my craft, but it's partly also what a good teacher has, what a good dad has, like my dad, and what a good stand -up has, male or female, that authority to stand there and hold a room with a reasonable tone in the voice, pin drop.

[89] It's powerful.

[90] It's harder for a mum to do that, particularly where I grew up was a lot of single mums.

[91] when you've got teenage lads that are sort of thinking what you're going to do it becomes like an arms race where the mum starts hitting the legs and hitting the face and it's needed because that's what the mum's got to work with I suppose.

[92] That's why I do believe this is so sexist and old school but I do believe if not a man two parental figures in place one who can play the bad ass doesn't matter if it's two women, two men whatever I think if you've got two it's double the force raising a child takes a village.

[93] I remember, you know, the way you've described your dad is is quite different from who you are today and who you were over the last 10 years.

[94] I mean, almost the antithesis.

[95] And I remember reading about the fact that you took a DNA test at some point.

[96] No, I took a DNA test just out of curiosity because I'm big into science.

[97] I wanted to know what diseases I was carrying.

[98] I'm always been fascinated about my ethnic makeup because my family history starts in living memory.

[99] and I'm obviously a little bit darker than I should be to be a britt.

[100] So I was interested to know what was in there.

[101] But part of me did go.

[102] What if this is the moment I discover my dad's not my dad?

[103] It did cross my mind, which is totally absurd.

[104] Sorry, Mum, if you're watching.

[105] Because he was blonde hair, blonde curly hair, blue eyes, very wide.

[106] It's just that we're just nothing in common.

[107] My brother is the spirit of my dad.

[108] I'm like, I'm not my mum.

[109] Just energetic pepper army with hair on running around, bouncing out of bed stick first thing in the morning.

[110] And like, in terms of like generational cycles, where did your dad get it from?

[111] So he always used to say to me, I never had a dad.

[112] So I, okay.

[113] So then my mum would, my mum would say, so you've got to understand your dad didn't get taught how to be it.

[114] My mum's gay man. Your mom didn't get taught how to be a dad.

[115] Your mom, your dad didn't get taught how to be a dad.

[116] So he just no, he didn't know how to be around babies.

[117] never learned that sort of thing he never he didn't have anyone to guide him so he's quite a rough childhood his dad walked out on him when he was about i think he was about two and my dad's mom hard as nails east east end essex back then barking and it was just a tough childhood you know tough east london essex childhood where you you just survived basically and uh he he had a lot of dreams i think he would have liked to have gone the same way i did he was quite a good looking bloat so he got scouted for modelling and things like that he pursued that for a bit he pursued the professional bodybuilding he even tried stand up i think like a pontins or a buttlings he tried a little bit of acting only for a couple of years and then he went into the hardest i think of all the manual labor you can do which is sheet metal and insulation so that like i say crawling along pipes and all that so there's a lot of bitterness a lot of unrealised dreams, a lot of abandoned by your dad, a lot of hardness and negativity there from the childhood.

[118] And that plagued him his whole life.

[119] So if we were on a beautiful four -star holiday to Manalco and the sun's shining, part of him would be thinking about the five -star holiday he could have.

[120] I'm not like that at all.

[121] How did you know he was thinking that?

[122] Well, he would voice it half the time.

[123] How?

[124] What would he say?

[125] Yeah, it's all right.

[126] Imagine, if I get the big job, imagine if we would come back.

[127] He'd be quite positive on holiday, actually.

[128] But he was like, just imagine Julie.

[129] If we had more, that's my mum, of course, Julie and Dave, if we had more money, that house we could have.

[130] And my mum would be like, Dave, we bought our own council house.

[131] Thanks, Thatcher.

[132] It's a big house, biggest house in the street.

[133] We've got pillars out the front.

[134] Yes, it's a former council house.

[135] We've got pillars.

[136] We've got a swimming pool in the garden.

[137] Three beautiful bedrooms, lovely bathroom, massive house, dining room, front two healthy sons at the point.

[138] My brother's very unwell by the time he was 17, but at that point, And what was there to be negative about?

[139] It's a hard job my dad did, but good money.

[140] But he couldn't see that.

[141] He could just see his mate who started a glass company, and now his son drove a Lambo, and he lived in Chigwell.

[142] And I don't.

[143] And when my dad passed away, we were going through the shed at the bottom of the garden, and I found his diary.

[144] And it was, honestly, it was one of the few things that made me cry when he died, because I sort of toughened up to help with the funeral, all that, because my brother was ill by then.

[145] And it's just rain today, didn't get the job.

[146] shit day James being a can I swear James being a cunt that's my brother shit day fucking add a curry it was like the diary of someone in prison that's what it was like it's so weird that someone could be rich and not know it I love making money don't get me wrong but I'm really good at enjoying what I've got so I've enjoyed every level of my comedy journey and I've never been bothered about whether I go further or not because I feel like if you can have two banging holidays a year and you love the house you're living in and your family's healthy done he was engaging in upward social comparisons right the whole time and if you do that you're never going to be happy absolutely and you see that with people in my profession that are earning a million pounds a year two million pounds a year and you're in debt because they're buying an AP watch every week and they're going to them all these four times a year and they've got they're in a 10 million pound house they should be in a five million bound house it's ridiculous that's consumerism but it worked on a more micro level so we would if we're going to stand airport to fly to Monarcher, traffic's probably going to be shit on the way to the airport.

[147] I bet you the traffic will be shit.

[148] So we're already, he's pre -imagining the traffic jam will be in.

[149] If we hit a traffic jam, fucking knew it.

[150] Holiday, we'll probably miss the flight.

[151] Holidays, fuck Julie.

[152] I fucking told you we should have gone first.

[153] I fucking told you.

[154] He didn't shout at me, but he would shout to himself sort of thing.

[155] Did you ever figure out where he learned that behavior or where that came from?

[156] No idea.

[157] Like I say, it's just all the bitterness and negativity and expecting things to go wrong.

[158] That was his tape, his script.

[159] So if we were in a restaurant and I'd be seven years old and I'd spill a glass of water, not Coke or anything, so he's not going to get sticky legs.

[160] He'd be like, water everywhere, fucking meal ruined.

[161] I've got to sit here like I piss myself when he entire.

[162] He'll be like the worst thing in the world has happened.

[163] Like someone at that moment's probably found a lump on their body.

[164] But to my dad, the worst thing that can happen.

[165] So I felt sorry, looking back now, you've got to feel compassion and love because it was just a constant tide of self -hating negativity basically and imagining if we go and buy something from IKEA that needs putting up you know a screw will be missing and it's because I'm me because I'm cursed a fucking screw will be missing you can guarantee it fucking all that all the time so for a little boy growing up you've got to work really hard not to absorb that I see hints of that and my dad especially as he got older a little bit more negative about everything mood you know, seem to be irritable at a lot of things.

[166] And one of the things that crossed my mind was, I hope this isn't genetic.

[167] Like, how do I avoid becoming this guy when I get to that age?

[168] Has that crossed your mind that the generational cycle might continue to some degree without you noticing?

[169] Obviously, yeah.

[170] I mean, see him, so my brother, I can't really go into my brother's illness because he's literally not well enough to consent for me to talk about it.

[171] Otherwise, I would happily discuss it because it's an important subject talk about but he's got some severe mental health issues let's just leave it there so my brother's really sort of unrefreshingly unaware of his mannerisms and gestures and postures if you like and it's just like my he's like my old man so how can your not the way do your voice and the cadence of a sentence and the glances and the way you you say no i mean and stuff like that it is my old man so i mean on some genetic level there are copies of how we express ourselves there must be but apart from maybe your height, I can't think of anything you can't change with loads of ways.

[172] Education, cognitive behavioral therapy, if you need it, I never have, but you can.

[173] You can work on the way you eat, your diet, your lifestyle.

[174] All of those, you know, genetics is not destiny.

[175] One of the most fascinating things you can look up is identical twin studies over and over again.

[176] You get one twin that's two inches taller than the other, where he's had a more successful not two inches, but it might be an inch taller where he's had a more successful life, eating better food.

[177] So you can literally grow taller.

[178] They're genetically identical.

[179] So you can't tell me I'm destined to suddenly be negative about traffic jams.

[180] If two identical twins can be different in height, you must be able to push against behavior.

[181] You see that film through identical strangers?

[182] Yes, fantastic.

[183] Amazing.

[184] Absolutely fantastic.

[185] Yeah, yeah.

[186] Made me upset.

[187] Yeah.

[188] Inspired.

[189] You know, the ending is obviously tragic, but yeah, really powerful.

[190] powerful film and I think that shines a light on how it does it gives hope for all of us that you're not you're only 50 % of your dad and 50 % of your mom and although you're actually slightly more of your your mom I've learned out anyway but um so you don't you're not if you're only 50 % if twins aren't destined to be the same you're not destined to be the same as a parent it's it's bad it's a bad way to think particularly if it's a negative it's a good way to think if there's something you want to copy tell yourself it chant it want to be more like my mom she's such a cool cat or whatever We have also grown up in a slightly different culture, especially in the last 10, 20 years, where we're much more aware of our psychology, right?

[191] And how trauma and childhood experiences have shaped us as adults, whereas I think my dad probably didn't know.

[192] So it was like someone back there in the control room running the show without him, and he was just a puppet to the shit he'd been through, whereas we are kind of a bit more open as a society now.

[193] Yeah, that's my biggest learning.

[194] Mental health comes on a spectrum.

[195] It doesn't mean mentally we have mental health.

[196] If we have physical health, we have mental health.

[197] Even if you have no issues, that's good.

[198] You are mental health.

[199] So mental health runs on a spectrum to people that are cooking on four hobs like me and you, hopefully, all the way down to people like my brother who are severely, severely ill with cognition issues.

[200] And people who are severely ill or people who are trapped in time, like our dad's before an awakening, they don't have insight into their current state.

[201] if you do not have insight into your condition, you are screwed.

[202] Because if you're, let's say, for example, schizophrenic without insight into the fact you have schizophrenia, you will not take the medicine.

[203] You just won't take it.

[204] You'll look at the pill and go, well, I'm not ill. So you'll be in assisted accommodation your entire life.

[205] If you're schizophrenic, but no, you have schizophrenia, chances are you can have a relatively normal life because you know, I'm ill, I need to take my medicine.

[206] and that but you can translate that thinking to any aspect of business or commerce to stand -ups to entrepreneurs because I've noticed I call it blackbox thinking from the Matthew Syed book the moment you can have insight into a stand -up routine or into a business proposition in a proper way where you can look it and go that doesn't work you're going to be successful people that don't have insight into themselves in their personal lives they end up single they end up in unhappy relationships because they can't see their own faults.

[207] They can't insight into themselves and go, this.

[208] I mean, this is just an impossibly tough question.

[209] Yeah.

[210] Because we're talking about self -awareness, really, right?

[211] So, like, how does, and people, people have asked me this question for the last five years, and I really don't have a great answer still.

[212] How does one become more self -aware?

[213] Well, I, it was literally part of my degree.

[214] So I'm very lucky.

[215] Here we go.

[216] I started doing English literature because I wanted to do the most show -off uncounsel, estate, posh subject possible way.

[217] I mean, I was going to get a first or I don't know what was going to happen.

[218] So I told myself, I'm going to get a first no matter what.

[219] That was preordained.

[220] So I did two years of showing off about, you know, Roland Bartz and Jane Austen and all that.

[221] And there was an opportunity in the last year to cross over into creative writing.

[222] And the reason I did that is again goes back to my dad.

[223] It's not very practical to be absolutely badass on Jane Austin and then you're going to want to be a lecturer or an academic.

[224] Whereas creative writing um is a practical profession you can go into advertising you can go into journalism you can try and write books you can as it turns out going to stand up i didn't know that yet there's loads of places where you can go look i'm not just got a first in english i've got a first in writing i can take body copy and make your brand pop so how do you do a dissertation in creative writing there's only one way you have to submit 10 000 words normal academic poncing about and you have to submit 10 ,000 word short story play, but you have to run through your own work and criticize it and say what you got right and what you got wrong.

[225] Once you've been through that and done it loads of times, it just becomes natural to bring it to your life.

[226] A copywriter in an advertising agency has to be able to really hate his own work he just created and find the faults in it because that will lift it above Ogilvy's copyright and you'll win the pitch.

[227] It's as simple as that.

[228] The person, the man who cannot realize he's domineering or jealous and work on that will not have a fruitful relationship with a woman or a man indeed.

[229] In order to do that with your life or with your copy or with your work, whatever, in marketing, you have to have a certain level of self -esteem and personal security to allow yourself to rise above your work and look back down on it in a critical way.

[230] A lot of people's self -esteem is so fragile that the prospect of being critical, is uh it's just unthinkable like you know and this is why people get to from my experience why people get so defensive and because they're because they're so if you one shot to their self -esteem will take the whole house down so that they immediately go like this like so you could look at it that way so i would say if that person needs to learn not self -esteem because self -esteem is a totally to separate conversation they need to learn objectivity a piece of writing is a thing a relationship is a thing that you've built with someone a comedy routine is a thing a poem is a thing the things over there that's not you you have to practice being able to take the piss out of the thing criticize the thing no someone's not coming up to you and going you're ugly you're unlovable you've got a big nose you're not tall enough stuff like that is going to hurt and there's no way of getting objective but if you can't look at a poem you've written and someone goes I really love the meter, but the adjective there's a bit obvious.

[231] And you should be able to thank that person.

[232] They're giving you a gift if they know their shit.

[233] But you're the one that should be saying that first.

[234] M &M style, eight mile.

[235] Seize the bars and turn them on yourself first.

[236] Hard to do.

[237] Because everything is like...

[238] It makes better work.

[239] It makes better humans.

[240] Yeah.

[241] I completely agree.

[242] It's just really tough to do.

[243] Practice.

[244] It's practice.

[245] I get a lot of...

[246] This is the message I get most often sent to me. via my agent or an Instagram and it drives me fucking nuts.

[247] I had one the other week.

[248] Oh my God, I love what you do.

[249] I'm really funny person.

[250] This is how it was phrased the other week.

[251] How many gigs would I have to do before I could like open for you on tour?

[252] Can you have a look at some stuff I filmed on my phone?

[253] And I'm I give them an answer that I never get a reply to this answer.

[254] I say, okay, it's quite simple.

[255] Lucky for you there is a really simple model to follow.

[256] You need to work unpaid for three years in the clubs three times a week.

[257] I wouldn't recommend a relationship and just warn your friends, you're not going to see them.

[258] I started to earn about two, three hundred pounds a week after five years.

[259] At that point, you're ready to give up your day job.

[260] On about the eighth or ninth year, you're going to be ready to do a support slot.

[261] I never get that.

[262] People don't want to hear it.

[263] But if you went up to the guy in the gym who's 16 stone and 5 % body fat and can you tell me how I can get it like that?

[264] He'd say the machines are over there, dickhead, just get going.

[265] The machines are there.

[266] You cannot skip the machine.

[267] You cannot skip the tricep station if you want triceps.

[268] You can't just go, but it's going to hurt.

[269] It's too much work to get a triceps.

[270] And then just don't get triceps.

[271] But don't moan if you don't have triceps.

[272] But head to the dip station and see you in four years.

[273] I can put, yeah.

[274] Now, I've wrote about this.

[275] My book came out last week and I wrote about it in my book.

[276] I remember someone turning to me, it was actually the CEO of my company now, company have just left and he said to me, Steve, you know, this personal brand stuff and this like speaking you do on stage?

[277] He was like, how long did it?

[278] Like, how do what?

[279] He was like, how do how do I, how do I do it?

[280] And your brain immediately scrambles around looking for like three tips, right?

[281] Three tips to describe like a deck.

[282] I remember my first talk in school at 14 years old, my hand's shaking.

[283] Absolutely.

[284] The truth is like someone's seen you with a sharp sword and they've said, how do I get a sword that sharp?

[285] So well, start sharpening it now and then 10 years time.

[286] But people don't want that.

[287] No one wants to hear the answer is boring, repetitive practice.

[288] For most people that are absolutely fucking excellent at something have done a lot of boring, repetitive practice that would be boring to the person asking the question, not to us.

[289] I loved every shit gig I did.

[290] And that's the difference.

[291] That's what kept you doing it for 10 years or two decades or whatever, is that you genuinely intrinsic loved it for its...

[292] People won the rewards, right?

[293] But when they, if they started and genuinely wanted it, they too would discover that love.

[294] If you say, I want to be a dentist or do I be a dentist, you start dental training and you're finding it boring in a slog, newsflash, you don't actually want to be a dentist.

[295] dentist.

[296] You'll be rich.

[297] So find something else.

[298] Find something where you love the journey.

[299] That is a secret.

[300] So that's what my dad never found.

[301] He didn't find a job he took pleasure in.

[302] It's got nothing to do with coin, although I'm into it.

[303] But if you love the outdoors, you're going to love landscaping, whether you're on 17 grand a year or 17 million a year.

[304] You're going to love it because that's what you were born to do.

[305] It's such a counter narrative to the narrative that sells, which is like short investment, big returns.

[306] It's like seven days, six -pack abs.

[307] that's a everyone one fucking signs up for that imagine imagine the like 10 years maybe maybe that's true and that's and the problem is a lot of the tv we make i make it sells that x -factor spot do one song live the pimp lifestyle and of course that is what in the all of the x factor that's ever been on and all of pop star the rivals how many of those people are now platinum selling artists living in mansions what harry style try and name some one direction that's it that's out of every single little mixed duma that's out of every single one in a show that's designed to push people to the front in an artificial way so if you think that's going to happen if you're russell from essex you're deluded it's but any business if you're passionate mixed with a little bit of luck people this is the other thing people like us don't like putting out there but i'm afraid there is a bit of luck involved and it sort of calls into like we always sat here and have worked so hard oh look at me with my work hard badge but at some point we had some luck as well just we're in the right place right time mixed with the hard work so some people are more lucky than others luck is a thing and what lucky not luck as in lottery number luck but luck is in oh my god you've met the you've met the perfect partner you've got the business oh you you were looking for a french a french bulldog breeder and you found exactly the right one at the right time when you were looking for a puppy why are you so lucky?

[308] Why is my life so shit?

[309] So they tested this.

[310] They got a bunch of people together.

[311] Half people who say, my life, shit, I'm so unlucky.

[312] And half people like me are like, I've got to admit I'm a bit, I'm black, hashtag blessed.

[313] I do have a lot of luck.

[314] And they run tests on them.

[315] And the test they run was very simple.

[316] The psychologist, I can't mean, the British Jewish guy really funny, brings loads of books out, Richard something or other.

[317] He's written a book about it, about luck, look it up.

[318] They gave him a newspaper each and they went in there, go into your separate rooms and on a page is a picture you're looking for.

[319] Whoever finds that picture comes in first, gets £100 pounds cash.

[320] That was the game.

[321] So everyone went in like that.

[322] On page two in massive headlines was it's a trick, stop turning, if you've read this headline go and collect the money.

[323] That was on page two.

[324] All the unlucky people missed that.

[325] All the lucky people found it.

[326] You know why?

[327] Because lucky people eyes are open.

[328] The hustlers.

[329] So it turns that you can make luck.

[330] You can practice.

[331] practice that.

[332] You can hone it.

[333] That's something you can hone.

[334] Next time you walk into a meeting, just think, right, what's, what's that guy do for a living?

[335] Who's that?

[336] Is that a contact?

[337] That's not luck if I sit down next to someone and he happens to be doing a comedy streaming service, startup, and he signs me up.

[338] That's me being a bit bold and striking up a conversation and looking at what he's wearing and having to think.

[339] You can learn these skills.

[340] People don't like that because that shot puts the mirror on me and creates personal responsibility where I, you know what I mean?

[341] And I feel like in our society at the moment, this is just an observation I've had, personal responsibility is people fucking hate that.

[342] I did a, I remember doing a tweet about, um, because, okay, this was me playing a bit of fuckery, but I don't care.

[343] Right.

[344] So the left of society, which I probably consider myself to be on, are really in support of the NHS.

[345] So I did a tweet saying the biggest cost of the NHS is like smoking, eating bad, et cetera.

[346] So if you really care about the NHS, take care of yourself, tell you to do, oh, people like, no, Steve, this is literally the, the, the, the replies are like, this is not it.

[347] Because I'm basically saying, if you genuinely care about the health service, here is all the data.

[348] The biggest burden on the NHS is people that are overweight and people that are smoking or whatever.

[349] Well, the obesity one's particularly controversial because there's two movements at the same time.

[350] There's personal responsibility in the science we're learning about obesity, particularly during COVID.

[351] I mean, if you want to do one thing other than social distancing, obviously get a vaccine, most of us are too young to have had the vaccine.

[352] So if you haven't had the vaccine and you don't want to live life like a prisoner, the best thing you can do is get in shape quick.

[353] You're better off, you're literally better off being, I think, a thin smoker.

[354] Literally, yeah.

[355] But it's a controversial conversation because quite rightly we're re -evaluating beauty standards and a lot of people end up with eating disorders and fat shaming and all that needs to go away.

[356] And as soon as we associate personal responsibility, longevity and health with a body type.

[357] We're in a difficult area where we create shame for people based on how they look, which is something we want to get rid of.

[358] So for someone like me who's on the left, my head just goes pop.

[359] Yeah, you don't know where to say.

[360] Smoking is a slam dunk.

[361] Don't smoke, you're a bell end.

[362] End off.

[363] Dickhead, don't smoke.

[364] Stop costing me money on the NHS.

[365] But someone that might be overweight, it's very, very complex to understand why someone's overweight is something I studied a lot, not because I've ever been overweight, but because I'm fascinated with biohacking and body and all of that.

[366] And I think the most illuminating thing I can tell anyone about being overweight is that eating too much does not make you overweight.

[367] This is, no one understands this.

[368] I'm going to blow your mind here.

[369] Being overweight causes you to eat too much.

[370] Once you have the metabolic condition of being overweight, that fucks your circuitry, which drives you to eat more.

[371] Obesity causes calorie surplus.

[372] So shaming people for eating too much is a waste of time because most people with busy lives and kids and no money are in a condition that's compelling them to eat more.

[373] It might be emotionally compounded.

[374] It might be psychologically compounded.

[375] They might be, recovering from abuse, they might be recovering from a bad relationship, they might just be skin and can only afford fucking nuggets and they're just tired, they're not getting enough sleep.

[376] And unfortunately, until you get into a low fat state like us, where it's easy to regulate your calorie, every part of your body is telling you to feed this obesity.

[377] No one understands that.

[378] I've gone deep into the sign.

[379] I'm not a scientist, so look it up for yourself before everyone starts trolling me saying literature degree boy, but as far as I understand the science, layman's cards on table, obesity causes overeating.

[380] Now that is just, boom, but it helps us to be more, as much as I agree with what you're saying, it just leavens more compassion into people's weight loss journey, although you're absolutely correct.

[381] If you don't want to die of COVID, and you don't want to cost the NHS money, getting in shape is one of the best ways to do it.

[382] But of course it's not easy, and I've had moments in my life where I've been most stressed, and it's a downward cycle.

[383] Like, you know what I mean?

[384] So you eat, and then you require sugar more, and sugar becomes this addictive thing in my life.

[385] And it only happens to me when I'm stressed.

[386] So I'll have my little moments as a downward cycle in my health when there's a lot on my mind.

[387] And so, yeah, I mean, compassion is certainly incredibly important in that regard.

[388] What about more broadly?

[389] So outside of health, the topic of personal responsibility, I like it because it's controversial.

[390] And I discuss the nuance.

[391] Trying to get us in the Daily Mail here.

[392] No, no, I just.

[393] Fat people should pay for themselves.

[394] No, just generally in your life and success and like what you can, accomplished.

[395] The fortunate position I'm in, which is what I talked about in my last podcast, was because I came from like a very broke family where my mum can't read or write, and I was born in Africa and we didn't have anything, no Christmas, birthdays or holidays, my journey in life, people don't just credit it.

[396] They don't point at me and say, oh, you know, Silver Spoon, you can't fucking talk.

[397] So I feel like I can have the conversation a little bit more about personal responsibility.

[398] Of course I'm fucking incredibly lucky.

[399] Like, I didn't choose to be me. You know what I mean?

[400] I didn't choose my parents or the good and bad things that shaped me. But I want to have a conversation about personal response as it relates to career success.

[401] And let's start with hard work.

[402] Because in our society right now, there's two counter narratives.

[403] One is that don't work like incredibly hard.

[404] You're going to burn out and you're going to have mental health problems.

[405] And the other is I've never met someone that sat here in front of me. That doesn't work really fucking hard.

[406] And I did.

[407] I don't know how I would have sat here without hard work and tremendous sacrifice.

[408] Well, first of all, we sort of already made the point.

[409] A lot of people are working hard at things they hate.

[410] So working hard at things you dislike hate or find stressful will bring success and money, but at a cost.

[411] Working hard at things you love.

[412] I finished filming at midnight last night in Mayton.

[413] I got in at half one.

[414] I had my dinner at two, and I fell at sleep at three.

[415] And I bounced out of bed this morning to come here to do a podcast for the price of a car.

[416] Why?

[417] Because I love what I do.

[418] Now, if I had got in at three from working as a hospital porter and had to get up to do another job, which was quite well paid this morning, but I hated it, I wouldn't be buzzing.

[419] And that's what releases the cortisol and the stress hormone into your body.

[420] So you can't compare, you're not comparing like and like, even though both people are working hard.

[421] You've even got people that might be barristers or doctors, really well -paid professions, but find it stressful when they're burnt out and stuff, it's unlikely you and I will burn out because I'm like, what's next?

[422] And you're intrinsically motivated by, you've got a sense of control.

[423] Exactly.

[424] So that's what I think that I think we can differentiate there on hard work straight away.

[425] So I'm more interesting, the first thing you said about the join between people's origin story and how much stick they get for the success they've got.

[426] because I'm, I have to phrase mine a lot more than you because I get put in with the silver spoon guys because I'm just a white man. So I'm not going to use real names here and I'm not going to use real jobs because I respect.

[427] My profession is so hard.

[428] I don't give a shit whether your Prince Charles doing stand up.

[429] Anyone who does stand up, I just, it's so hard to stand up.

[430] And I don't think an elite background helps you in stand up.

[431] It might help you in telly in production.

[432] It won't help you.

[433] on stage with a bucket of piss but I've been told on more than one occasion we'd love we'd love to we book you for the X show but we've already got Olly and so we've got Ollie we can't have to and I'm like how is how me to me and Olly represent the same thing I sometimes think well I've got more in common with I could phone up I don't know if you know who Judy Love is a comedian I could phone up Judy now and we could speak for an hour about we both grew up same similar part of London similar age, similar family.

[434] Yes, she's got Jamaican stories, but I've got Essex stories.

[435] That's the only difference in our conversation.

[436] We come from the same place economically.

[437] We come with fighting the same fight.

[438] We're punching up from when we never, no one would ever say that.

[439] I'll probably be in trouble for even saying that.

[440] That's the controversial thing for me to say.

[441] And it shouldn't be because if Corbyn and people like that have got it right, everyone who starts with what I call lower entitlement points, I've got a lot more entitlement points than a woman of colour, undoubtedly.

[442] But I've got less entitlement points probably than a Ghanaian prince, right?

[443] So all the people that have got, I'll start with, should link arms.

[444] Doesn't matter what gender you are, what colour you are, that would be powerful.

[445] I'm a bit nervous when we get carved up and we're people who start in life in a tower block, that tower block should be united, you know what I mean?

[446] So that's the first point.

[447] but I do I do think we get off we do get off lightly if we've got money if we had a more council estate background it's like a license to be okay with having money like I can wear my roly by the pool when I'm in Ibiza because I sound common yeah if I sounded posh I probably would keep the brightling on yeah no it's so true I one of one of my guests that I had on the podcast went to a very good school and is white and blonde and very pretty and she basically can't give advice to anybody without the papers smashing her or social media in fact there was a meme the week before she came on the podcast there was a meme that went viral I think it did 250 ,000 retweets the day she released her book and it was this someone pinned someone up against the wall with a big trumpet and it was like white privilege telling you how to how to become come rich.

[448] Like, she is not allowed to give advice to anybody because she's white and went to a good Oxford.

[449] And how much good insight and business knowledge and whatever do we live?

[450] Like, so many people went to Oxford and didn't build multi, multi million pound, two multi million pound companies.

[451] I still want to hear this from this person.

[452] If someone's offering you knowledge, she's not, it's not like she's telling you about her struggles.

[453] There was a queue in wait trees and I just couldn't keep that, that would be the trumpet.

[454] Right.

[455] She's trying to tell you how to build a business.

[456] So it doesn't matter where you, if you come from space, if you can make me money, tell me how.

[457] If you can tell me how to start the next comedy streaming platform service where I own 40 % of the shares, I don't give a fuck if you've got double first from Cambridge or whether you're one of the mandem, I don't care.

[458] Show me where to show me how to do it.

[459] You've got to have an open knowledge is once it's out there is democratic.

[460] The path to acquiring it is not.

[461] But there's no doubt about, it's trying to stay on topic, what you're saying about personal responsibility is I'm really split on this because I don't believe it's true that anyone with enough will and luck can make it.

[462] I think we're probably outliers and freaks and just wired a bit different and I've got what it takes to push through.

[463] I think if enough blocks are in place, you're a single child of a drug using mum in a towel block and I am built of stronger stuff.

[464] So I've bounced through my childhood and I've come out the other side, but a lot of people aren't.

[465] If we were all born the same, same, then why aren't I playing basketball?

[466] Why am I not sprinting?

[467] Why am I not a math scholar?

[468] Some of us are born genetically more equipped in other departments.

[469] I'm clearly a highly energetic person who's good at motivating themselves.

[470] Some part of that is inborn.

[471] I was like I was like it as a baby before I could speak.

[472] You know, the other toddlers are like, dribbling on their blocks and I'm like, where the block's there?

[473] So it's unfair for us to go.

[474] If only Neil at the top of the Tower Block could have been like us.

[475] He too could have been an entrepreneur because maybe just being a single mum being of colour or being transgender or being, not everyone has the strength to push through those things.

[476] Not everyone does and it's unfair to go up to a wheelchair and go, just stand mate.

[477] I'm using wheelpower with my legs.

[478] Why can't you?

[479] Because some people, that is a wheelchair, their social background and they don't have the strength and then they start using drugs and they just sink too low.

[480] Not everyone can pull themselves out.

[481] That's why we do need more equality.

[482] Yeah, I agree.

[483] I'm definitely pro -quality.

[484] There's a sense of helplessness I get if I go all the way and say, no, successful people while they were born with something.

[485] Yeah.

[486] It creates a sense of like, well, then you're all just stuck in our lanes forever.

[487] And if I believe that when I was shoplifting pizzas in Manchester.

[488] But then again, so what I do understand, I actually, the harder I reflect, I basically give myself credit for nothing because I was born into a situation in a country.

[489] I actually think my bad experiences are why I'm here.

[490] Like the fact that my parents weren't around at 10 years old.

[491] Created this big gap of independence, et cetera, et cetera.

[492] I've told this story a million times.

[493] But it's the bad shit that is the reason that I became an outlier, I think.

[494] I became very obsessive, obsessed with money.

[495] My book, that's why it's called Happy Sexy Millionaire because it's the first page of my diary when I was like a kid.

[496] I want to be a happy, why did I want to be happy sexy million because we were fucking broke.

[497] Have you got siblings though?

[498] Yeah, I've got three.

[499] So are they all happy sexy millionaires?

[500] Not one of them.

[501] None of them are like me. And they don't understand me either.

[502] They look at me and, like, scratch their head.

[503] But what does that tell you?

[504] It's almost like you've run a controlled experiment.

[505] Exactly.

[506] Tuning out genetics versus willpower.

[507] The difference between my childhood experience and theirs was they were raised by parents, and I basically wasn't.

[508] So by I was the youngest, so by the age of I was 10, my parents were like, oh, we've done parenting now.

[509] We will work all the time.

[510] And we will be out of the house when Steve comes home, and we'll be out of the house when he wakes up.

[511] So I was the only one where the experiment was total independence.

[512] So thought experiment for you.

[513] If you'd have been born a fraternal twin, another boy.

[514] Yeah.

[515] So as much your brother as your other brothers, but happened to be born at the same time, same conditions, same school, everything happens.

[516] So do you believe you would have another happy sexy millionaire living in the flat opposite?

[517] Or do you think depends what that brother's personality was like?

[518] Because we both know that that brother's personality is what would have decided whether he sat at this table with us today or not.

[519] And personality does come into it.

[520] We are born with different personalities to an extent.

[521] So I'm not saying we're all stuck in our lanes, but I'm saying we need more social mechanisms because some Einstein's don't have energy.

[522] Some Einstein's might be a bit emotionally weaker.

[523] So we're saying my example of Neil at the top of the tower block, he might be really fucking amazing.

[524] We will never harvest that talent because our society is set up with too many blocks in place to scoop it out.

[525] We had one thing in place for about 40 years called grammar schools.

[526] Very controversial, very unfair, dumping a load of 11 -year -olds in the thick bin.

[527] My mum went to a secondary modern.

[528] My dad went to a secondary modern.

[529] My wife, my brother -in -law, my mother -in -law and father -in -law, all went to secondary moderns.

[530] So I know people who were told, you're no good at 11.

[531] So I don't say this lightly, and I know how horrific that is.

[532] but the data does suggest that there was a short period where we scooped off some bright poorer children not necessarily kneel in the tower block but at least the poorer children whose parents meant well but were too poor we got them we got more einsteins when you watch question time switch it on and I went to a state school and they're giving it all that will always be a grammar school always it's very rarely I went to the local comprehensive and now I'm an MP it's always I went to a state, which state school?

[533] You went to an elite education then.

[534] State, but elite selective.

[535] So we need more stuff like that.

[536] What can we do in our communities?

[537] What can our youth workers do?

[538] What can we set up in council estates, headhunters that look for talent, particularly boys.

[539] I'm going to say that because I was a boy once.

[540] But there's a real problem with teenage boys, all this testosterone kicks in, and it goes the wrong way for most of us.

[541] When I came on your podcast, you ask very controversial questions.

[542] I think you like those questions.

[543] Those are the ones that are most interesting to you, aren't they?

[544] Yeah, well, as long as I get in trouble.

[545] Well, it's hard to tell.

[546] Hindsight's a wonderful thing.

[547] So I guess my, I was just thinking then, this is a controversial question, but he asked me controversial questions.

[548] So I can ask for some people.

[549] So zoom out context.

[550] Got a friend, tried really hard to help them change their life or do something for themselves, 10 years of effort, made all the offers in the world to this person.

[551] still job seekers allowance you know somewhat depressed can't seem to have any impact we grew up in the same street we were best friends my whole childhood i went off he stayed there i've got tons of examples like that so i have to speak very euphemistically now i'll be cancelled not by the internet but by my friends and family stroke associate stroke i'm not even want to say which group these people are all of this i've had female friends who i'm like stop dating bastards and the next guy he's nice he's a Coke dealer and he's like he's going to fucking he's clear he's going to shaggy mate and some of these women are getting to 35 you know like with the final egg in the goblet like in Indiana Jones waiting to be fertilised and this the next guy he's got we've got three kids by three different women he has he's got an electronic tag but it's great because we can spend some time in just bang a boring guy or a guy that likes Dungeons and Dragons or an accountant what they're there's a sexual attraction there to bastard men that some women particularly from my sort of background working class women find hard to get over would be one example but you can get over it it is possible to do it the mistake people like you and i make is we try to help and say you've got a friend who's unmotivated depressed leaves every job after three months it's always someone else's fault it's always the system it's always if only corbin was in power it's uh my dad did this my mom did that always putting it on someone else and then you're making it worse by putting it on you let me help you're just a positive version of that the solution is they have to switch the light bulb on in themselves they may not get there but the moment they wake up and go today's the day i'm going to try and change my life they should they that's the first step it might be speaking to a therapist it might be changing your career it might be enrolling in a levels that you do at nighttime like i did that was what lucky enough my revelation came at when i was Did you want Job Seekers allowance at one point?

[552] I was, yeah, I did my A level's late because I had this spark moment.

[553] But it's got to come from within them.

[554] It's not something as yet, although science might get there one day, but we can give to you in a pill or an injection.

[555] You've got to suddenly have right back to the beginning of the chat, insight and be like, boom, chest out.

[556] I'm going to see a therapist.

[557] I'm not going to use negative language.

[558] I'm going to get this self -help book, which gives me some cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

[559] I always monged up the cannabis.

[560] CBT.

[561] So, yeah, it's got to come from them.

[562] But for you and I, fix is how can we solve it?

[563] How can I redraft the copy?

[564] What's the solution?

[565] Unfortunately, the solution is trying to get them to have some insight.

[566] So if you have got a friend like that, maybe have that sort of conversation with them that spurs self -reflection.

[567] Because giving them a million pound a year job, it's just going to make them worse because that muscle that's atrophied will stay atrophied.

[568] that sort of standing up, making your own strength muscle.

[569] One of the most probably scary things from my perspective that you ever did was walking out on stage for the first time, for your first gig ever.

[570] Like, what the fuck were you thinking?

[571] Going out and walking in front of people and telling fucking jokes, are you sure?

[572] With me, it's even more complex, because I don't know if you've had any stand -ups on here before.

[573] Never.

[574] But the majority of them, and quite rightly so, or be like from a young age I used to watch blah blah on TV I used to watch all these American comics I used to watch Chris Rock, Bill Burr Bill Hicks I knew that's what I wanted to do man I was like you know I was like the young boxer in the alleyway I knew I was going to box none of that nothing there is zero in my CV that shows an affinity for the craft of stand -up always been the Joker I'm not being funny today I don't know why you got me on one but normally I'm always asking around this is not a thing I do on stage.

[575] I'm just, I'm like the clown person.

[576] Why?

[577] Just my, again, I've just always been, I just love making people laugh.

[578] I've always been a joker.

[579] There's some data to suggest, um, youngest children have it, and I'm not the youngest child, the oldest, or people born in August in July, purely because if you're smaller than everyone else, you've got to develop your personality quick.

[580] So if you look at the premiership, you won't find many footballers born in August.

[581] I'll explain why I never made it.

[582] August.

[583] August 26th.

[584] So you won't find many sportsmen or anyone that requires size of physical prowess, those professions.

[585] So even if you turn out to be a very tall teenager, you're less likely to become a basketball player than a teenager one inch shorter than you who was born in October.

[586] The reason being you'd have been pushed by the coach and taught and everything early doors at six, seven, eight years old.

[587] So there is some data to suggest.

[588] that people who work with their personalities for a living, people that have to solve entrepreneurs and find little rat runs in alleyways, develop that based on being smaller or more vulnerable.

[589] But I could take lots of forms.

[590] I've got an overbearing dad as well.

[591] So I'm an August baby, overbearing dad, and some of it will be genetic.

[592] My mum's very funny.

[593] And you talked a little bit about, I was reading some of your previous interviews, you talked a little bit about how it was a bit of a defense mechanism maybe in school?

[594] You found your place by being a...

[595] Yeah, I wasn't, but I was reading a...

[596] But I don't know how I wasn't bullied, but I wasn't.

[597] The smallest, no girlfriend, wasn't in with the in crowd at all.

[598] I was sort of like in an sort of external group that had diplomatic immunity.

[599] Definitely virgin, definitely no cool friends, definitely one of the idiots, but we don't punch him because he's sort of all right.

[600] Obviously, I did get, it's a working class school, I did get punched a lot, but not as much as, I was in that league.

[601] You probably won't even remember them, just above the bullied.

[602] boring grey league.

[603] Yeah, no point.

[604] Yeah.

[605] Which is the place to be at school.

[606] Because if you're popular at school, we all know, you're going to have a shit life.

[607] That would be a promo.

[608] So anyway, so because of where I grew up, it's not people like, well, how can you have no contact me stand up?

[609] So you've got to remember my age.

[610] I know I look young for my age.

[611] I'm 45.

[612] So what was my dad watching on TV?

[613] Jim Davison, Bernard Manning, Jimmy Jones.

[614] like Bruce Forsyfe and Jimmy Tarbuck, you know, live at the Palladium and all that.

[615] It's not, obviously, they're all talented comedians and I do, I do mean that, but it just didn't resonate with what, it's not, it's not about my life.

[616] So I'd laugh because my dad was laughing, but I was like, what's this crazy art form?

[617] I've got to learn more.

[618] Me and my friends, mostly either smoking, it's all about getting high, or we'd watch old young ones or whatever the funny sitcom of the day was, men behaving badly, whatever it was.

[619] That's what I thought comedy was.

[620] No, we didn't go to the theatre at the weekend.

[621] We didn't like, which cultural pursuit should we do this weekend family?

[622] It was like, Dad works all week.

[623] He's tired.

[624] We have a curry.

[625] Your nan looks after you.

[626] And then when you get to 15, 16, you get stoned over the park, get someone pregnant, work in a shop, die.

[627] That's it.

[628] That's a finish line.

[629] So I managed to, like I say, have this weird entrepreneur turn my life around, getting my first class degree moment.

[630] But just by sheer bad luck, I ended up at a university that did not have a stand -up night.

[631] Most of them do.

[632] So again, I went those three years without any exposure to in the student bar stand -up.

[633] It was all music.

[634] There was some theatre.

[635] No one talked about stand -up.

[636] We didn't have this sort of slightly fashionable thing now being obsessed with American stand -ups.

[637] I'd like to say to my British colleagues, just remember, if you start having this sort of slick quality to your stand -up, it can look a bit mannered.

[638] That's just a side point.

[639] So I went all the way to the office, to my dream job as an advertising copywriter, with no content with stand -up.

[640] just being funny as fuck the clown you know legend on a night out first one up dancing but i didn't know that something you could do for a living and i ended up doing a job i loved branding copyrighting headlines i still love it you can tell but the way i'm describing it and then the creative planner was like you're always the one up at the pitch issue i would do like if we're pitching to a big client i would do like the the funny bit with interaction to get them on side when i'm presenting the creative he said why don't you try stand up stephen if you're watching thank you um why do you say stand up with your mind his glass region and i thought you know what do it once like doing a bungee or a skydive or karaoke it's just that's as far as my thinking went something to tell the kids so i wrote a few ideas down in a book booked an open spot in and i went and did it it was very scary i think i did a pack of emodium before i went on and my hand was shaking and i got that it wasn't obviously wasn't great but i did wet -ish well -ish first laugh was like someone stuck cocaine, heroin, ketamine, everything in my, not what I've done those drugs, but everything in my veins and I was hooked in the proper sense of that it fucked my life.

[641] Everything fell apart like a junkie.

[642] How can I get more of that?

[643] I want a gig three nights.

[644] I want to gig five nights a week for no money.

[645] I've got a creative director.

[646] We're talking about multi, multi -million pound accounts.

[647] Advertising is you work till 8pm, you have pizza on your birthday under your table, you sleep at the office.

[648] I'm running off to do unpaid gigs in Manchester.

[649] My relationship with my girlfriend fell apart.

[650] My bill started to not be paid.

[651] I started to look thin because I suffered with my nerves in the beginning.

[652] I'm throwing up shit like both ends.

[653] It's the closest thing to a drug addiction that I've ever experienced.

[654] I would have not seen my mum for a year to chase this dream.

[655] I was hooked with on that laugh.

[656] I'm like, this is what I'm born to do.

[657] I just fucking know it.

[658] How can I monetize it, basically.

[659] How, why were you hooked on the laugh?

[660] Why did the laugh matter so much to you?

[661] It's a rush.

[662] It's a rush.

[663] Anyone is, I've not taken any serious drugs, but anyone that's taken any recreational drugs, which is a bad analogy because they're not actually addictive.

[664] But coffee, for example, I can't live my life without, without it.

[665] Why are you addicted?

[666] It's as absurd as asking me why I'm addicted to coffee.

[667] Because I go, I wake up, I feel alive and I have an amazing day.

[668] the same.

[669] Laugh goes in, buzz, serotonin, pupils dilated.

[670] Afterwards, I want to tell everyone about the gig.

[671] I was taking shit footage into work and showing it to people and playing it in the office.

[672] Look at me. That's me. Come and look at me, this grainy footage in the, I mean, that's so embarrassing that I did that.

[673] I just couldn't, I just couldn't believe it.

[674] I couldn't believe I was getting laughs from strangers.

[675] It was straight to the ego, straight to the cortex.

[676] Everyone has that.

[677] Have you ever considered that you might have, that might have mattered more to you, maybe because of your childhood or whatever, than other people, that, that sense of like, that validation and that.

[678] Yeah.

[679] I mean, I'd had plenty of validation at work.

[680] I'd had the whole office cheer.

[681] I've rung the bell when we've won big pitches.

[682] I've got the rush in the meeting.

[683] But it, nothing were, it, it's the difference.

[684] I'm trying not to talk about drugs all the time.

[685] It's the difference between going from a beer to MDMA, right?

[686] I don't recommend any hard drugs, obviously, particularly people that work with their brains.

[687] You're a fool if you mess with the equipment, but you can't compare them.

[688] When you say everyone has that, not everyone stood on stage to a thousand people and seen people standing and clapping.

[689] That is different.

[690] It's of a different category of ego rush.

[691] Very dangerous.

[692] What problems does it give you?

[693] Well, initially all have come with it.

[694] Initially that, my life fell apart like a junkies.

[695] I was down to 10 stone at one point.

[696] So it come to the point where I had to say, this needs to not be a drug, this needs to be a food, and I left the agency, and then I was, you know, off.

[697] Still today, though, right?

[698] So all things come with their costs.

[699] What is the cost today of that career and that rush and that?

[700] I suppose the worst thing is the travel.

[701] That is a genuine negative one, since min has been born my daughter um i actually quite like traveling i like being in the back of a car i love watching movies i love reading and i love eating on the move so all the things that most people hate i just happen to quite enjoy just pure i don't know why because i'm always on the go i like being forced to sit still and watch a movie so i love flights for example the longer the better um you still shit yourself now when you get when you're about yeah big time but so far as so far as missing part of your child growing massive negative doing a tour is there's a guilt thing in your gut and you know you do cry a bit after face time in that particularly when it's a baby so that's the biggest negative i can think of but once you're with a woman or a man that gets it there's no negative in your relationship i was with a couple of girls before who would make me feel bad about being away whereas linds kicking me out the door she's focused on the business we're a team that's well paid fuck off see you later don't call home if you're stressed i'm cool with it that's what you need man you need someone who gets it.

[702] I do shit myself, though, still, yes.

[703] Do you know, the, the, emodium scale goes up depending on how much of my show it is.

[704] So if you'd booked a show for me today, where you're going to introduce me and I'm going to do 20 minute stand up, and you've got 2 ,000 people in the room, there would be nerves there, fair bit of nerves, but mostly I'm ready to knock the gig the fuck out with my first punch.

[705] If you've put an event on, a Michael McIntyre's closing and you're hosting it, and you're to me at the last minute said Russ I've decided to do two halves can you do 20 minutes at the top I'd chip myself because they're not there for me they're there for you and him and I've got a conversion job to do and the risk is massive then Michael's fans are your fans and that's when the nerves kick in when I'm doing Royal Variety show or live at the Apollo where people have responded to a TV ticket not me that's when the nerves go back to old school style nerves how do you what's the battle you have with those nerves and in terms of your cognition and before you go on stage what are the tips you can give people There's two ways to work on that.

[706] The first thing is the actual practical thing on the night, I would say just work with breathing and mindfulness and all the stuff you've probably read a thousand times.

[707] The other thing to do is if you can find a way to do it.

[708] It depends which stage of your career you're at.

[709] If you're at the stage of the career like me and you, I'm not trying to be offensively, a lot of people are sucking addicts a lot of the time.

[710] So we're constantly walking into the rooms where people think we're legends, and it's never going to be a difficult gig.

[711] Now and again something comes up where you're the tab pole.

[712] And you don't have the hardware in place.

[713] And Bill Gates is speaking before you.

[714] Oprah's hosting it.

[715] And all of a sudden, you're, who's this guy?

[716] You're having a day of who's this guy.

[717] We can all have a who's this guy day.

[718] And the only way to practice that is to put yourself in more who's this guy moments regularly.

[719] So how I do that.

[720] As soon as my tour finishes, I book the smallest, hardest, weirdest, they might have bad lighting, they might have no microphone, they might be half sold and I'm unlisted, unlisted, unannounced, unexpected.

[721] And I'll walk on to tiny clubs full of drunk men, 50 year old UKIP dads, all of those places.

[722] I put myself in those all the time because the risk is high, the nerves are the same, but the consequence is zero.

[723] So I'm constantly training the muscle of convert the people who don't know who I am.

[724] keeping it sharp the whole time.

[725] So whatever business you're in, you'll be able to think of an equivalent way of doing that.

[726] So set up smaller situations where you're having to keep that muscle because the danger is the more successful you get, you lose the muscle of walking into a room full of skeptics.

[727] And if you lose that muscle, that's the money -making muscle.

[728] So practice it.

[729] I keep mine tired all times.

[730] I constantly put myself in unbuild, unlisted, unideal situations.

[731] When you walk onto a stage, when you're at my level, which I would call myself quite recognisable.

[732] You can't say I'm like Michael McIntyre or Chris Rock or someone, but I'm sort of known as a stand -up.

[733] So what that means is when I walk on stage at the comedy store, late show, 400 people, drunk off their tits, work -dos, hand -dos, and I'm un -billed, unexpected, unlisted, the room splits into three.

[734] Straight away.

[735] It splits into, oh my God, it's him.

[736] Fucking what a treat.

[737] We've got him for 20 quid.

[738] to the middle, who's that?

[739] Am I supposed to know who that is?

[740] Is he good?

[741] I don't know.

[742] I think I've seen him.

[743] And the final group, can't stand this cunt.

[744] That's the only group I'm playing to.

[745] When a little bit in the middle group, they're the only people I'm interested in.

[746] Because that's where the muscle building exercises.

[747] And then when you go on stage to your audience, they get you like that.

[748] Yeah.

[749] But if you come with that conversion energy to your own audience, you must be.

[750] You don't need it.

[751] That's the problem.

[752] All you've got to do is put your foot out.

[753] And they're like, it's his foot, he's amazing.

[754] That's the problem.

[755] That's the problem.

[756] You get flabby, easy in all businesses.

[757] So you talked about your relationships there and your current partner.

[758] I heard you got married for nine months.

[759] Oh, yes.

[760] You had forgotten.

[761] Yeah.

[762] Sorry, I realized what you mean.

[763] Yeah, no, I did.

[764] I was married before.

[765] I was married.

[766] So I'm currently, I'm trying to enjoy my middle marriage.

[767] That's what I say to me. Middle marriage.

[768] Okay.

[769] No, I was, so we were just, we realized we were just mates.

[770] There was a romance there.

[771] We had a lot in common.

[772] We were both into this same world and we were sort of living together and we got married and we were like, that was a mistake.

[773] And we just weren't married.

[774] And it was totally amicable, no fighting, no problems at all.

[775] But you talked about the understanding that your current partner has, current wife.

[776] Yeah.

[777] So my former partner, the one I was married for nine months, had that as well.

[778] So we thought we should probably get married, but we realised marriage needs more than that.

[779] that.

[780] So yeah, so Lindsay is more, Lindsay doesn't get jealous unless I do something dickhead, like follow a glamour model and instant, and like a bikini pick, which I get my ass kicked, but still do, because I'm Neanderthal.

[781] And I'm a man, the monkey press button, can't help it.

[782] So unless I do something stupid like that, which I rightly get in trouble for, or like change my flight in Ibiza and go to a boat party, which I also tried to do and got my ass kicked for um so but if i'm on the road and doing autographs afterwards and there's all girls in the picture or something i've never ever like lindsay's just not even a flicker she gets it that's the job is every you're everyone's friend if the girls fancy you in the audience even better that means another Maldives holiday type thing that's the way she's in business mode she isn't on a bit of an entrepreneur lindsay she's got two businesses and she sees my business as a business and she never ever guilts me over being I might be away for four nights I won't some days I've gone shit I didn't phone home I didn't text I didn't even now and again all I have to do is do a good night and she knows that my head might be full there's never any fallout never and that just makes the trust and the bonds it's just of course I then do call home what it just works because of that you're someone that will get a lot of attention because it's I mean it's your job right It's like to keep attention.

[783] Literally to seek attention is my job.

[784] And women, they love funny guys, right?

[785] So you know, probably, I don't know if this is going to get in trouble, but you know that you could have a lot of different partners if you want to do.

[786] I could be harvesting 24 -7.

[787] That's what I mean.

[788] I probably would have fractured pelvis by now if I hadn't got married.

[789] People are going to hate this question because they think I'm encouraging it, but I'm here to play devil's advocate, okay?

[790] Why aren't you?

[791] Well, I fell deeply in love and got married, and I'm just, Again, you go back to the childhood, undivorced parents, it's just what I'm modelled on.

[792] I've never had a problem with saying to a girl, the relationship's done, my head's starting to be turned, let's move on.

[793] And as much as it breaks my heart, if I ever felt that way, I would, obviously with a marriage and a child, I would sit down to Lindsay and say, there's an issue here.

[794] I've started to have these thoughts.

[795] How can we work on it?

[796] And we'd work something out.

[797] So that's just my way to operate.

[798] Hardly any men do.

[799] Sorry, girls.

[800] for my sex if only men did i mean but they don't so i'm trying to a man should go i haven't done anything but i'm having these thoughts what does it mean does it mean we're not in love does it mean sexually our relationship's not exciting is there something we can do that some games we can play to mimic that i don't know whatever a couples need to just have that conversation because if you pretend men and women aren't having those thoughts you're naive so you need to keep the relationship alive that's the way to do to do it why to do it why Why am I married?

[801] Well, A, I'm 45, remember, and B, I've been, I'm more serial monogamist.

[802] So I've gone from age 16 to 30 odd, be with a girl for three years, break up, get straight with another girl, literally the next week, break up on anywhere between nine months to three year relationships.

[803] I never had a one -night stand.

[804] I'd never been single.

[805] I'd never been on a lad's holiday.

[806] So when I split up, it weird, but my mum was like, you are not going to.

[807] going to find a sustainable relationship because of all these reasons you said you're going to get a lot of female attention you're always going to wonder what it's like she went I was you I'd have a year on your own so I set the clock and I was like Panani master in action and we're not cynically not cynically shagging that's going to be the promo clip but not cynically shagging but being sing it's more to more to it than just shagging it was like just being in a living in a flat on your own bought that's banging flat in London I've still got, I use it as my London residence.

[808] And I just thought, you've still got it?

[809] Yeah.

[810] Does your wife now?

[811] Well, we stay there all the time.

[812] And she's, and I'm like, I can, I can come out.

[813] I'm living, I'd never lived on my own before.

[814] I'd always live with a woman, always live with a girl.

[815] And it was just nice.

[816] I'd just be in my pajamas, have a curry.

[817] And then I could, I could, or I would, I would just think, I'm going to go out on the pool after the gig.

[818] And that gets boring, quick.

[819] Unless you've got some sort of, um, issue, like sex edition issue and you're addicted to lots of different women.

[820] I'm not that type of dominant guy that needs to fuck a thousand women to prove I've walked the earth.

[821] I more, without getting too personal, I do enjoy, I'm a highly sexed individual, very, unfortunately for Lindy incredibly high sex drive, like a 19 year old lad, but it's sex I enjoy, not conquering women.

[822] So I can quench that thirst with one woman over and over again.

[823] But I did want to know what it was like, to, you know, to be single, to be free.

[824] And part of that, I'm sure it's the same for a woman, for a man, is to go, what's it like to have a one night stand or to be, to be a, have this rock star lifestyle and sleep with loads of women.

[825] The difference I did it was if I was going out after a gig or if a girl had DM'd me and we were going out, whatever, just missed Tinder.

[826] I would say, this is where I'm at.

[827] This is what I do for a living.

[828] I'm single.

[829] I do love making love and I love going out, but there is no relationship here.

[830] I would never went to bed with a woman dangling any fake carrots ever.

[831] I think it's a form of, I don't want to use language too strongly.

[832] There's a sort of consent tweak in there.

[833] If you're lying, if you're in a power position like me, and you're saying, go, let's see where it goes, but you just want to fuck her.

[834] I think that's wrong.

[835] I think it's morally wrong.

[836] I think you should say, this is what it is.

[837] I want to party with you.

[838] Can you handle it?

[839] And newsflash, most women are looking for that too.

[840] So I had a wicked time for a year.

[841] and then one of those girls was Lindsay and it's just something different happened and we saw each other again and again and again and then boom, married.

[842] I asked this question because I was having a conversation with a friend of mine last night who's an entrepreneur and he's continually failed in marriage and we were going back and forward about whether, about the importance of meaningful relationships and I was making the case that they're incredibly important.

[843] I sent him a TED talk about which shows that they did a study on men over, I think about 100 years and showed that the men that were in committed relationships lived longer, had way better health, were way happier.

[844] They studied men for 100 years.

[845] I think it's the only 100 year study they've done of this type.

[846] And he was basically saying, well, you know, women, you know, they just don't understand that I'm ambitious and stuff.

[847] Is he wrong?

[848] Is he right?

[849] How is he right?

[850] Statistically true.

[851] And also people that believe in God live longer.

[852] I'm not a god.

[853] I'm totally atheist for you.

[854] I mean, that would be the curveball you weren't expecting coming.

[855] You're talking about Jesus.

[856] Now, it's people that believe in God live longer.

[857] And so I think it's not the case that faith keeps you alive or that a relationship keeps you alive.

[858] As far as I understand the science, there's a neuroprotective and cardiovascular benefit of doing what we're doing today, just hanging out, basically.

[859] And the most reliable way to hang out and check in with someone on a regular basis is to have someone you're married to.

[860] Are you okay?

[861] Take your stress levels down.

[862] Or even better, get together every Sunday with a bunch of people who actually give you.

[863] give a shit about whether your skin, whether you've got cancer, whether your wife's left you, who are going to look out for you.

[864] And sadly, in our society, religion is the only thing that forces people on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday, to get together.

[865] If you're going mosque every Friday, is it?

[866] If you go mosque once a week and you're praying next to that man next year, he's probably going to notice if you're down.

[867] It's as simple as that.

[868] There's nothing magic about marriage, but homo sapiens, I believe that our cortisol levels drop and our dopamine levels rise when someone gives a shit about us it would make sense on an evolutionary level if you look at the way chimps are that when one of them gets excluded from the group because they have a fight and they're going you know you see them on the documentary they never live long because why would you where is the evolutionary drive of your genes to pass seeds and eggs on if you're the type of person you can't bring the pack forward so there would be a strong evolutionary argument for single people to die before attached people for non -religious people to die before atheists so atheists like us have to make sure we really have strong friendship groups and I wish, wish, wish we could get humanism off the ground every Sunday there's readings there's your local Richard Dawkins is doing a science reading we will have a bit of tea and cake our kids all play together and then we all go home wouldn't that be amazing and why doesn't it exist it would solve a lot of problems because we pick up If you were depressed, I would pick up on it if I was seeing you every week.

[869] Everything you've said is backed by everything I've studied.

[870] I've wrote a chapter in my book called The Journey Back to Human, which describes this.

[871] It was inspired a lot by Yohanna Hari, who wrote Lost Connections.

[872] Yes, I know.

[873] And about getting back to our tribes.

[874] And when you look at the way we're living our lives today, it's just the antithesis of human.

[875] And religion and relationship is the only way you can keep those human elements in.

[876] So far as your friends who keep having failed marriages, marriages fail for lots of different reasons.

[877] So for men who keep getting three -year relationships and splitting up, if it's the same reason every time, if the eye is roving and he just wants to fuck other women.

[878] I mean, we need to speak about this in real language that men use.

[879] Sorry, if you find it offensive, switch off.

[880] But a lot of the time, a man gets two, three years in, the novelty wears off.

[881] And he's like, I just, what's it going to be like, I want to fuck a different woman.

[882] So the cost as well, the resistance or the uncomfortable.

[883] parts of the relationship remain, but the upside decreases.

[884] If it's sex, for a lot of men, so I feel so sorry for girls, but why did my man, what was it?

[885] I wasn't doing.

[886] It's hard to face the fact that some men, maybe 60, 70 % of men who split up with you, just want to shag someone else.

[887] Let's just put that on to it.

[888] I'm sure many women, but I don't speak for women.

[889] I'm not being sexist, I'm just not speaking for women.

[890] Get a woman on here.

[891] Ask her why she splits up with someone every three.

[892] So you need to, if you're a man that has those urges, you need to find a woman that you can work with that can keep you sexually excited and do whatever you need to do.

[893] Just, you've got to do it.

[894] And you need a woman you can talk about those things with.

[895] And a lot of it can be role playing, dirty talk, verbal fantasies, whatever.

[896] These are practical tips.

[897] A lot of couples never cross these boundaries because they're too shy.

[898] She's split up with someone because you wanted, I don't know, to get dressed up as a policeman and pretend she was someone else.

[899] And you were too cringed to tell her, But that could have been the thing that converted it.

[900] It could be as simple as going to a club separately, dancing with other people, then going home together at the end of the night.

[901] Have you tried?

[902] Until you have that conversation as a couple and admit you're having those thoughts, you will split up or worse, cheat and ruin that woman's life and ruin her faith in men.

[903] Or if you're, I'm sure it's exactly the same if you're a gay man as well.

[904] You're ruined that boy you've split up if you're ruin his life.

[905] So far as why women split up with men, who knows and that's not for me to say but i do think a lot of the times we're reluctant to admit it's such a basic sexual reason i suspect it is the case and we'll make any old i just felt bored we've grown apart yeah it's it will say any old shit just to not admit i like looking at girls on instagram i want to go on holiday on my own tough conversation to have right because it's it feels like an attack on but you build it in is fun yeah you'd be like three years in i'm gonna be straight with you.

[906] I really, really love you.

[907] As long as you love, if you don't love a girl, just tell her, you definitely need to split up.

[908] But if you love her, but have sexual urge, that is resolvable.

[909] Guys, I think quite often, Hucci, and this is a presumption, I don't know the truth.

[910] They will take the path of least resistance.

[911] So they look over at their partner and they think, if I have this conversation, this is going to blow up and she's going to scream in my face.

[912] I think I can just go and grab that apple without resistance.

[913] So they just reach out for the apple because that conversation feels like more psychological discomfort than.

[914] Yeah.

[915] I just, don't go shagging other people to end your relationship.

[916] We all do that.

[917] They literally cheat to end the relationship.

[918] We've all had moments I have in past relationships where I've found myself in a bar contemplating it talking to a girl.

[919] And as soon as that happens, I know.

[920] Either I don't love this girl or something's going wrong in the bedroom.

[921] It's normally one of those things.

[922] And you love someone, Angie?

[923] Hmm.

[924] The type of question you'd ask me. Probably, yes.

[925] Yeah, you think so.

[926] Probably.

[927] In the same way, I can adore my daughter and would die for her, but would I go and work on a project for a month with no phone contact at a pivotal devetment point of her life?

[928] Yes, I could because I can compartmentalize.

[929] I imagine women are exactly the same.

[930] In fact, I suspect a woman can be profoundly in love with a man who's not giving her attention or making it feel special or sexually exciting her and she can have sex with someone else, feel awful, and still profoundly love her.

[931] her husband.

[932] One of the things you said is you said you're 45, 46, when?

[933] In August.

[934] Oh, yeah, of course, you're August, baby.

[935] Not long.

[936] You look about 31.

[937] Like, if you told me you were 31, 32, I'd probably believe you.

[938] How have you done that?

[939] So first of all, it's got me into trouble because what happened was when I started doing all this biohacking and stuff like that.

[940] What's biohacking?

[941] It's where you're using the current science available to try.

[942] and hack your own biology to survive on less sleep in a way that doesn't damage your health, for example, I've not cracked that one, to not lose your hair, working on that one, or to slow down the aging process.

[943] So not so that you can live to 120, not that, that's a common misconception, but that so you can have the bit of your life between 30 and 70 in a more sustained younger state.

[944] That's what you're trying to do.

[945] You're trying to have better, middle age years, not be 120 year old.

[946] What you'd like to be is 120 year old that's like an 80 year old now.

[947] What you're trying to do is stretch, particularly I did my first gig at 28.

[948] So I quickly realized I need to find some solutions here because I'm high energy, Lee Evans Act.

[949] I talk about my mom, my dad.

[950] I'm a late bloomer.

[951] I've got a white, I would end up having a wife much younger than me. I need to have the body of a 30 year old man quick.

[952] So I started studying.

[953] I mean, I was 30 at the time, but you know what I mean?

[954] I need to keep it here.

[955] So the trouble it got me into is when this stuff started to work, dramatically work.

[956] I would sit down in interviews like this with journalists and people would go, how old are you, Russell?

[957] And I was the old guest trying to get a compliment and they started to guess four years younger, five years younger, then 10 years younger, then 15 years younger like you have today.

[958] And I thought, this is your showbiz, fuck that, I'm going to knock a few years off.

[959] Because the one prejudice people are still allowed to have, not book you because you're old.

[960] Can't wait till old life matters starts because I'm going to be fucking behind.

[961] No, but seriously, why is it okay to make redundant and underpay and exclude people based on their chronological age?

[962] But that prejudice alive and well.

[963] So I thought, I lied.

[964] I lied my ass off.

[965] And of course, I was really unsophisticated about it.

[966] I was like celebrating my real birthday with comedians and friends and then lying to the observer or the mirror.

[967] How much did you lie by?

[968] Five years.

[969] Oh, not bad.

[970] I forgive you.

[971] So that was a story that was a tabloid story in two newspapers and and a light jokes were made on tv a comedy award ceremony so i was quite mocked for it so as a comedian m &m style i took that wrote a show about it called right man wrong age took it on tour owned it no one said a word since and now i talk about it all the time i think it's quite funny really it's quite human i mean what the fuck if i don't know what whatever the thing is in your profession, maybe...

[972] It's age as well.

[973] It's been age for me. When I was 18, everyone wrote about me because I would, like, I'd made £100 and I was 18.

[974] And I realized that in my industry, your age and the achievement are the most important things.

[975] So if I was 18 and I'd made 100 quid, they had me on BBC.

[976] This 18 -year -olds made 100 quid.

[977] And I realized that by, when I get to 25, I actually need to have made about $100 million for them to consider me the same way.

[978] Yeah.

[979] So I'm like super slow to change my birthday.

[980] I'm like, oh, 27.

[981] I'm like, I need to be a billionaire.

[982] Yeah, right.

[983] So, but from a business sense, it might be exaggerating turnover to seek investment, then revealing real turnover afterwards, but say, okay, we're all winning us anyway, that type thing.

[984] So I was exaggerating turnover to attract investment.

[985] But I didn't realize it was a massive issue because people come to stand -up comedians for authenticity and realness, particularly my type of stand -up.

[986] So anyway, I owned that, chucked it back, that's all good.

[987] how I've done it is just there's loads of places you can go to I started with Dave Asprey and bulletproof and all of those things although I do think drinking butter is way over the top but so moving towards a lower carb not keto nothing extreme I don't believe in anything extreme that's hard to stick to but certainly I don't believe we're supposed to be white bread and cereal and shit like that working with what we build to do would be the most basic way without spending money anyone that's watching this can start we woke up on the savannah this morning you and i it's time to go hunting there ain't going to be food there we probably would have eaten at two p m no doubt about it human beings are built to have anywhere between 16 hour to two day fasting gaps no doubt about it um and sure enough now we look at this on a cellular level we can see what happens so i ate at last night i worked very late so i didn't eat till nearly 11 p m by now as i'm speaking to you, not only do I have an intense fucking focused high from only having had coffee and water, which has got to be a good thing, there's autophagy going on in my cells.

[988] So the cells are eating up their own bits of dead protein and shit, just out of sheer desperation for something to eat.

[989] That's the first thing that happens.

[990] Apoptosis is the proper name for it.

[991] The cells that, the shit ones just die and burn off, like the crust at the edge.

[992] If you pour food on the edge of that situation, as far as I understand the science, I'm sure people will refine what I'm saying.

[993] I'm trying to distill what I've learned for the layman.

[994] You keep all that crap in.

[995] So unfortunately, we're pro fasting is brilliant.

[996] I don't buy into many fads, but the science here, you can see it under a microscope.

[997] So intermittent fasting and eating lower carb is something anyone can do.

[998] Someone on 10 grand a year can do that tomorrow.

[999] So eat more leafy green vegetables.

[1000] I think if you're on 10 grand here, you are probably.

[1001] Exactly.

[1002] But eat more leafy green vegetables.

[1003] Breakfast is, I think, the easiest one to say.

[1004] skip because you produce a hormone in the night that suppresses appetite anyway, otherwise you'd wake up hungry all night.

[1005] If you are waking up hungry, your diet's fuck, change it.

[1006] So you don't, I won't wake up hungry.

[1007] So we're brought up to wake up not hungry and eat a bowl of cocoa pops and then boom, the insulin goes up.

[1008] Insulin, you don't want your insulin high.

[1009] And the only way to do that is sugar and carbohydrate.

[1010] So lower your carbohydrate, 100, 120 gram net a day.

[1011] Anyone can do that.

[1012] Still rice.

[1013] If you like bread, eat bread, but eat whole meal bread.

[1014] That's the two most basic things you can do now so far as the more intense chemicals i can tell you what i'm on i would take phytacin in the morning which is a synalytic activator something that's that stops cell um decrease and synessence like aging in cells once a week i will probably also take another synolytic activator a chloroquine's called i take pqq every morning that's the little pink one i do take nmn which is really expensive, but the life force in the cells that keep us going is called NADs, NAD, and that's what causes aging.

[1015] Aging is not inevitable.

[1016] It's your cells.

[1017] We're a combination of digital and analog information.

[1018] So every time you rewrite a cell, it gets rewritten a little bit less well, and then you get wrinkles and gray here, and you start forgetting and you die.

[1019] So if you can help the cells be more accurate in writing, you can stay younger, not just in how you look, but generally.

[1020] So I do take NMN every day.

[1021] That's the big one.

[1022] And that is a precursor to creating NAD in the body.

[1023] And I mean, I have no Botox.

[1024] I have no filler in my face.

[1025] I do use stuff from boots and moisturize when I do go for like a posh facial now and again, but there's nothing artificial in my skin.

[1026] This is a great point, moment to cut to my podcast sponsor, NMN.

[1027] Well, NM into the drug, loads of people make it.

[1028] Okay.

[1029] If you're looking for a good one in the UK, go on Amazon.

[1030] I think it's double wood is good.

[1031] It's expensive though, man. You're looking at six pounds a day.

[1032] Oh, for a sup.

[1033] Expensive, yeah.

[1034] I like six pounds a day.

[1035] But if you think, if you're lucky enough to be spending that on a coffee, take a flask, buy an MN instead.

[1036] I bought my own coffee today.

[1037] So what I will do is my pet hate is watching a video like this, listening to podcasts and people not listing grams and brands.

[1038] afterwards.

[1039] And all the top guys, David Sinclair is the guy you want to read, by the way.

[1040] If you read one book, it will change your life.

[1041] It's why we age and why we don't have to.

[1042] David Sinclair, he does all the science.

[1043] But he always refuses to give like geeky levels of endorsement and what I take because his inbox always crashes.

[1044] So what I will do is I will, I will send you exactly what I take on a daily basis.

[1045] You need to check with your physician and you need to make sure everything's right for you, obviously.

[1046] But NMN is definitely the one that encourages NAD production and helps the cells copy themselves and slow down aging.

[1047] Resveratrol, very, very, very important.

[1048] So I take 750 milligrams of NMM, and I take a gram of resveratrol every morning.

[1049] Don't go on Amazon and buy resveritrol, the brown stuff.

[1050] You need trans -resveratrol, the ultra -refine stuff.

[1051] You need a gram of it a day.

[1052] Vita Fair is a good brand.

[1053] What about hair?

[1054] Hair, they've still not...

[1055] It's starting to get greys.

[1056] Yeah, they've still not solved why we go grey.

[1057] or because baldness is a genetic program that's running like your height it's harder to hack it's to do with the testosterone hormone dhd that kicks in dh tch that kicks in um so your body after a while and the way it synthesizes testosterone in the scalp causes the follicles to die and fall off the only way to do that is to block dh t but if you're a man it's a two it's a double ledge sort because if you start messing with your testosterone, you can lower your sex drive, lower your aggression.

[1058] I need lots of aggression in what I do when I go on stage and for exercise and things.

[1059] So I don't take things like finisteride, which we know works.

[1060] I'd rather be Jason Statham, like bald and horny, than have loads of hair and a eunuch.

[1061] That said, I am losing my hair at the crown.

[1062] I have been for about two years.

[1063] The reason you can't see it today as much as you could two years ago, I am using a derma roller.

[1064] You can buy these cheaply on Amazon.

[1065] Make sure you buy one with individual titanium spikes.

[1066] If it's boasting hundreds of titanium spikes, it's a shite one.

[1067] It means they've got a rolled out bit of titanium.

[1068] You want one, if it's plastic, it'll be about 19, 200 spikes titanium, and you'll be able to see each individual spike, 0 .5mm.

[1069] Once a day, roll, roll, roll, roll.

[1070] It's a little bit painful.

[1071] roll, roll, roll, roll at the temples here and then you would put on minoxidil, 15 % ideally.

[1072] Duogen's a good one.

[1073] Again, very expensive.

[1074] You're looking at 3040 quid a month.

[1075] But it works.

[1076] What does it do?

[1077] You start to get, first of all, little puby grey hairs and it just holds the wolf.

[1078] So you're not bald.

[1079] You don't have like 17 -year -old hair.

[1080] As you can see, I am no, I am not bald.

[1081] And that's all I do.

[1082] the roller is the roller is about oh no the roller is about a tenor the monoxide is expensive but you can get like a get it down to about 30 pounds a month but don't go below 15 % and if you really want to do belt and braces how you use shampoo is important get a really good caffeine shampoo like alpacin and you want um a brush like it's like a round really cheap round plastic brush with the plastic bristles like boys would have jelled their hair with back in the day one of those and when the shower really scrub that shampoo in and leave it for five minutes.

[1083] So if you shave or you brush your teeth, go and have your toothbrush and you shave while the foam's there and then shower it out.

[1084] How did you get into all of this?

[1085] Was it that book?

[1086] No, no, no. That's, I've just researched myself, the optimal methods of the hair regrowth.

[1087] But for biohacking, I've used David Pellmutter, the doctor, a cardiovascular doctor, about heart health and cholesterol and trying to learn the safety of going higher fat.

[1088] I use Dave Asprey for a lot of the supplements, your PQQ and things like that and on all the knowledge about high fat and biohacking and sleep and all that and i use david sinclair for the real real hardcore science on life extension it's a brilliant book it's just about accessible for the main reader but if you get into it you love it there's loads of stuff in there i don't do like the cold showers and things like that are cold showers tell me about that i've uh i've heard about this but i just don't have the guts every day it just feels like it all ruined my day haven't i mean the most controversial thing about what I've said is I'm not recommending people go low carb.

[1089] I'm just saying it's what I do.

[1090] You might come from Australasia and you might have different genetics that mean if you eat a high fat diet's incredibly dangerous.

[1091] Check what your doctor recommends.

[1092] Go and do your own research.

[1093] Go to Atlas Biomed where you can get your own biome sequence by sending a bit of poo through the post.

[1094] It's fascinating.

[1095] And they send back your whole internal microbiome.

[1096] Get your cholesterol tested three months in, six months in, see what it's doing.

[1097] My cholesterol, of course, is off the fucking charts, but so is my HDL cholesterol, meaning my cholesterol ratio is good.

[1098] Do I have plaques in my arteries?

[1099] Yes, I do.

[1100] I've run a CT scan.

[1101] So you need to take your own call on that.

[1102] I mean, if you're a student and you get hit by a car and you're 18 years old and we do an autopsy, you will have plaque in your arteries.

[1103] Babies have plaque in their arteries.

[1104] We all have plaque in our arteries.

[1105] I remain to be convinced that the fact I have cholesterol running around my blood actually is the thing that makes the plaque cholesterol.

[1106] That I'm in a minority.

[1107] I'm not medically trained.

[1108] I could be talking shit and I could be in a coffin when I'm 60.

[1109] But I'm fascinated by it.

[1110] I'm a layman.

[1111] I'm on a journey.

[1112] You do your own reading.

[1113] The NHS recommendation certainly isn't to eat high fat.

[1114] But I just don't buy the science.

[1115] It stinks to me. me. So, and plus, I just, I'm going on how I feel.

[1116] Sure.

[1117] Yeah.

[1118] It's probably the most important way.

[1119] Your podcast, you have a podcast which talks a lot about cancel culture.

[1120] Yes.

[1121] What's, what's going on our society at the moment in terms of cancel culture?

[1122] It seems to be getting much more, maybe because of algorithms and we're, we're separate, you know, we're creating these echo chambers and we're defining, you know, this side is, you know, left and this is right and there's nothing in the middle.

[1123] But what's going on within society?

[1124] And I guess the question I'm going to come to eventually is how do we fix it and can we fix it or are we fucked?

[1125] I think we're probably a little bit fucked for the time being because after loads of historic injustice and inequality and I hate the word woke, I don't, I almost don't want to be woke because it's such a cunty word.

[1126] I just think waking up to things you're not seen before.

[1127] The word woke's become politicised, so I reject it as a term.

[1128] But we need to swing the barometer a little bit this way until everyone's being represented properly then it will settle probably in our children's generation it will settle so stop panicking Gary Dave Lee and everyone with a union jack profile it will it will settle what I find frustrating and toxic is we're living in a culture where you can be cancelled overnight at Middleton cancelled overnight Sharon Osbourne cancelled overnight it doesn't matter who you are what your background is what colour what gender you are you are at risk no one is safe trust me especially white men well anyone really i remember um i don't even know if i want to put it back out there but i'm no reggie a bit and he said something about jewish music producers yeah yeah i remember yeah just about survived that so i i don't think anyone i think any in think i think it's probably worse if you're off color because the right will be ready they'll be fucking ready see i could see so i would actually say no i would say i think everyone's at risk from this It's a rabid, all we got one of them, particularly a lefty and cancelled them.

[1129] How can we live in a culture of instant, pardon black, I shouldn't say black and white after what you said, but instant black and white cancelling where you can wake up in the morning and be gone that at the same time exists alongside how dare you use a label.

[1130] Nothing has meaning.

[1131] We're in a postmodern world of amorphous fog where we don't even have pronouns.

[1132] Nothing's real.

[1133] History is not real.

[1134] The things you've learned aren't real.

[1135] Literature isn't literature.

[1136] Nothing has a label.

[1137] No, you're cancelled and I'm sure.

[1138] What?

[1139] Well, which is it?

[1140] Are we in a postmodern?

[1141] Nothing means anything.

[1142] Everything's up for grabs, shifting, meaning, diverse culture, which sounds quite exciting to me as a comedian.

[1143] Or are we in a Nazi Germany executed the next morning?

[1144] Both of those two together, head fuck.

[1145] I have this tweet saved in my drafts on Twitter and it says, and I didn't tweet it because I didn't have the nuts, right?

[1146] Because I was being, I was like low -key being cancelled for something I said at the time.

[1147] So I thought, I'll just stagger this one out.

[1148] But it says the left will allow you to be non -binary and everything but your opinion.

[1149] Right.

[1150] And it's kind of what you're saying there.

[1151] It's like we've got to the point where we understand things aren't binary, right, in sexuality and other points.

[1152] But my opinion has to be.

[1153] Like if my, if the stance I take on Black Lives Matter doesn't perfectly, I don't look like I'm wearing like, as I said in the last podcast with Anne, the football kit, shoes, socks, shirt, then I am definitely of the right.

[1154] And I should be treated as such.

[1155] And I had it quite recently with the Sarah Everett tragedy because I made the point that the narrative, and this is this key sentence that I just, social media just didn't allow me to express, then which narrative is most helpful and productive in creating the shift we need to see in male behavior?

[1156] Which narrative?

[1157] Is it the narrative that, which I saw a lot of, which is it's, all men, all men are the, are the problem?

[1158] Is that the narrative which is most helpful and productive?

[1159] And so the conversation I was trying to have is a real politic, what works in the real world.

[1160] Yeah, I'm not saying there's not a fucking problem with men or they're not pigs or there's not like the patriarchy or there's not massaging.

[1161] The stats say that.

[1162] I'm not the stats.

[1163] The stats say 97 % of young women have experienced some form of sexual abuse or harassment.

[1164] My point is about which narrative is most productive and helpful.

[1165] You're a business man. You're like, which model can we employ to get the best profit?

[1166] Yeah, because I reflect.

[1167] I said, when Tommy, when Tommy Robinson ran around saying, okay, it's not all Muslims, but it's always Muslims that are blowing up buildings, whatever.

[1168] We would run them out of town because that's a deeply toxic way to think, right?

[1169] And it's the same with black people.

[1170] Like, we get, you know, locked up more.

[1171] So asserting that, you know, it's not all black people, but it's some black people, therefore the fear is all black people.

[1172] The way that I got to in my logic, I was like, I have two nieces.

[1173] who are going to go into the world, who I love dearly, what would I say to them?

[1174] They're four years old and three years old.

[1175] What advice would I say to them to help them, a, guard against predatory male behavior, but also to help them in their life be productive and to work with 50 % of the population?

[1176] It definitely wouldn't be, LSE, right?

[1177] Sit down.

[1178] You're going to have to fear all men.

[1179] Some of them, the threat, LSE, is my niece, is all men.

[1180] That's not for me. It wouldn't be a...

[1181] Imagine the damage I would do to my...

[1182] niece.

[1183] I mean, I don't know what to say.

[1184] You've put it brilliantly.

[1185] I got finished off.

[1186] I got finished so badly on Instagram.

[1187] I was fucking, are they finished to me?

[1188] It's because part of the problem is having a discussion like this when a girl has just died.

[1189] If you and I to have this at a university in two years time, it's quite an interesting, it's a very interesting conversation that needs to be had.

[1190] So I did do a stand -up response to it.

[1191] I did a one -minute thing, but I waited 10 days.

[1192] Smart.

[1193] I waited 10 days and then I did a rant about why do we teach sex education so late?

[1194] Why do we teach consent so late?

[1195] And I just made fun of the British education system not speaking to teenagers about sex enough because I think that's what the issue is.

[1196] We don't teach our boys, whether they're predatory boys or not, men aren't taught about sex early enough.

[1197] From angels to sex offenders, they should be taught in primary school.

[1198] Not from porn.

[1199] No, exactly.

[1200] That's where the problem is.

[1201] But yeah, so I think sometimes having to try and have a con, I do actually disagree slightly with one thing she said right at the top, which was when you said, oh, I need to have a binary opinion, but not have a binary sexuality because I do think, no, you can have a non -binary opinion.

[1202] We could be talking about Jane Austen and literature, and we can say, yeah, but I can't think of a subject.

[1203] you and I can have a conversation on where fashionable postmodernism, nothing means anything doesn't apply.

[1204] On a major issue with Black Lives Matter?

[1205] Yeah, we could talk about, now we're not going to say whether Black Lives Matter or not, but we could have a discussion about, does race exist?

[1206] On a genetic level, we've proved that it doesn't.

[1207] So what is race?

[1208] We could chat and everyone could leave the lecture going, I don't know what to think.

[1209] In a lecture or face -to -face.

[1210] Or we could broadcast it now.

[1211] Talk about race.

[1212] 100%.

[1213] Talk about does race exist.

[1214] And this is why I love podcasts, because you get context and nuance.

[1215] 180 characters in the middle of the Black Lives Matter.

[1216] Russell, why haven't you posted the black tile?

[1217] You can't go, well, does race exist?

[1218] People go, racist, silence is violence.

[1219] But what I mean is we can be postmodern fluffy and not say anything, almost about anything, but we still be cancelled at the same time.

[1220] Now, those two things are both quite extreme.

[1221] And they're opposites.

[1222] And that's making, that's close down debate and hamstrung people.

[1223] I like my offensive people where I can hear them.

[1224] I don't like them on WhatsApp groups hidden.

[1225] I was never against Nick Griffin of the BNP going on question time.

[1226] I don't mind putting that out there.

[1227] A lot of people say, you put him on there, you legitimize his views.

[1228] What actually happened?

[1229] He looked like a total cock and now he's disappeared.

[1230] Have the courage to know, I do think there is good and bad.

[1231] I don't think right -wing people are bad and left -wing people are good in fact I think it's just as many cocks across the spectrum I do think violence and hatred is bad, full stop sorry I do it's a moral absolute moral category I would rather see the people who think it have their arguments exposed the biggest experiment we've ever seen of that is Donald Trump yeah it's fucking just fell apart because most people saw he was a cock regardless of what he'll tell you and you probably won't see someone like him for a long while now you was right And that sort of right wing sentiment It rose around the world at the same time Like Bolsonaro, even here in Europe, all at the same time And it almost feels like now it's falling a little bit away.

[1232] I don't like chastity belts and gagging and things And when they were like Donald Trump's coming, but we won't give them a state visit.

[1233] Nonsense.

[1234] I want red carpet.

[1235] I want streets lined and let him hear what we think.

[1236] Let him see the way British people show they're unhappy.

[1237] Don't sort of all muttering chitikoses and send memes like in shoreditch.

[1238] fucking let's go out there let's let's let's let's let's let's let's where's our pranksters where's Simon Brodkin doing a stunt on him that you know have the courage of your of your arguments the goodies always winning films and they will win on the earth I believe that I'm an optimist should anybody be cancelled de -platformed chucked off immediately thrown out not in haste that's why I make evil genius it's a it's a slow weighing up over the hour we take the good and the bad and we have an intellectual discussion and it's very tongue cheek and funny but it's a long discussion about the people's merits it's interesting as well the elitism of it as well why Picasso's painting still hanging why the guy was grade a nonce and misogynist why are he's painting still up because it's so lofty and important we can't quite bring ourselves to cancel it i mean i don't know if do we go here i mean i don't know what i think at that Michael Jackson documentary anyway, but it's almost like Michael Jackson's so powerful and musically important that we dare not go there.

[1239] So there comes to a stage where we're not willing, you know, someone's sort of cancel proof.

[1240] I mean, if you're really really controversial, look at the Old Testament.

[1241] He did some vile fucking things.

[1242] Stoning people, like flooding people with fire, burning gaze.

[1243] How has he not been canceled?

[1244] Old school God.

[1245] too powerful that's interesting I've never actually considered that some people are too Michael Jackson's a very good example because I don't want to give it my spot if I wasn't to be empty I'm only just got over bump and grind being deleted I did you know it's funny because I was actually thinking about Michael Jackson this week because I just absolutely adore the art and have it the thought of having to separate Mike the artist from the art and that the artist could have been such a horrible predator it really something that helps you know the useful rule of thumb I've found is the closer the art is to the predation and the nature of the predation the more problematic it is so I find Picasso very problematic because everything I'm looking at in the studio is in a gallery is possibly a teenage girl's body I find Michael Jackson problematic because when he's talking about love and I want to be close to you and I want to touch this and that what's he singing about what am I dancing to yeah if someone writes beautiful romantic novels but they like harming animals in private less problematic because when i'm reading the novel i'm not absorbing animal harm sure am i absorbing paedophilia if the song if who's are kelly singing about bum and grime with whom an underage do you see what i mean yeah so what's what's next for you what are you working on what's um what's the next chapter of your life all about as far as you're concerned well uh as well as just doing tv all the time horring it up on any show that will have me which i've been doing since i started it's about the theatre's re -opened For now, outdoor socially distance performance, so I'll be finding as many spaces where I can put a marquee over, vented at the side, just to get back out there and stay sharp.

[1246] I am working on a novel.

[1247] I always am.

[1248] I'm working on a sitcom.

[1249] I always am.

[1250] And I'm developing formats.

[1251] I always am.

[1252] I'm always hustling, always trying.

[1253] I'm yet to get that format away where I own it and it's my IP.

[1254] I have with Evil Genius.

[1255] I have made a TV pilot of that with BBC Studios.

[1256] I would love to sell that because I think that would work globally as a format.

[1257] Very timely as well.

[1258] I have got my eye on things like that as well.

[1259] But mostly it's how can I get in front of people and make them laugh?

[1260] Because that's what I want to do.

[1261] Well, you certainly are very good at that.

[1262] It's a talent that you have that I'm like positively jealous of.

[1263] Like just your natural ability to make people feel comfortable and to laugh.

[1264] It's a real...

[1265] I feel the same with you starting multi -million pound businesses.

[1266] No, no. No, but I wish I had that.

[1267] I feel like I would have been more successful if I had that.

[1268] I tried you for one year and we both keep revenue.

[1269] No, no, no deal.

[1270] Thank you for coming today No, thank you so much It's been a real pleasure And I don't think people realize How much of a fucking intellectual you are My first clue was all those books You had behind you on your Zoom background When I did your podcast But I dug my way out of the ghetto with books like that You're so fucking smart And I don't think people realise that I think you're a comedian You're much more than a comedian You're fucking genius at the same time It doesn't pay to look too smart When you're a comic True, I'm related to me I love Radio 4 But I want to be on ITV1 as well No disrespect I sure Listen thank you so much for your time today And people know where they're can find you but your podcast evil genius is is immense and it's very timely and needed in our society so thank you for doing that and i am trying to squeeze out stand up on channel four during the day so if you ever at home or you've got a day off step's packed lunch twice a week i'm on there doing that i never thought i do days i'm telling you but i fucking i love it and i do stand up at one p m world needs that to right now yeah thank you so much russell appreciate you thank you