Synced: My Favorite F

[0] Hi.

[1] Hi.

[2] How are you doing?

[3] I'm great.

[4] How are you?

[5] I'm good.

[6] During last week's episode, I meant to text you to remind you.

[7] We said that we would talk about some of our favorite beauty products.

[8] I remembered.

[9] You did.

[10] Oh, my God.

[11] Good job.

[12] I listen, you know.

[13] You do.

[14] You're a good listener.

[15] I'm one of the hosts, but I'm also a big listener of the show.

[16] You're in the sixth squad also.

[17] Yeah, I am.

[18] You double up.

[19] Yeah, half of the questions are mine.

[20] my life's a mess.

[21] No, that's not true.

[22] No, your life's great.

[23] Yeah, no, things are good.

[24] You know, me and you already hung out this week.

[25] We did.

[26] Sometimes that's a problem.

[27] I know.

[28] I did leave brunch and I was like, that could have been a really good episode.

[29] That's the whole reason we do this show is because we decided to bring our brunches and our dinners to air.

[30] Yeah.

[31] To you.

[32] Exactly.

[33] So I do want to re -talk about one of the things we talked about because I think I've been thinking about it since we, spoke about it.

[34] It's an important question, and it makes you have more gratitude for the products that are in your life.

[35] The products?

[36] Wait.

[37] Oh, now you're back on.

[38] What are we talking about?

[39] Okay.

[40] Oh, boy.

[41] No?

[42] Yeah, no. Let's do beauty products first.

[43] Okay.

[44] But wait, what was the other thing?

[45] Because I want to talk about something we talked about at brunch.

[46] Oh, let's do beauty products first.

[47] I'm very curious about what yours are.

[48] Okay.

[49] I remembered, but I also, I am having a really hard time narrowing.

[50] That's right.

[51] Because it's beauty, it's makeup and skincare, or...

[52] That's what I didn't know.

[53] Because we didn't make rules.

[54] We didn't.

[55] I have a mix, but it's mostly skincare.

[56] Okay.

[57] Because I feel that that is the priority in your 30s.

[58] Why don't you go first?

[59] Oh, my God.

[60] Why don't we go back and forth?

[61] Let's go back and forth.

[62] I'm going to go with newest to oldest.

[63] So, like, a new thing that I've been obsessed with is the benefit lip stain.

[64] So I've been seeing a lot of lip stain products on my feeds.

[65] and they look very scary.

[66] I don't know if you've seen it.

[67] It's like a black tattoo on your lip and then people peel it off.

[68] So I didn't have the bravery to do that.

[69] And it seems laborious.

[70] I will not do that.

[71] It takes the waiting.

[72] Like, I just need to leave.

[73] Like, by the time I'm putting on something on my lips, I have like 30 seconds to get out of the house.

[74] So the benefit lipstein I got as a little gift and I was like, oh, okay, I'll try this out.

[75] If you eat a lot throughout the day, if your lips are often, it's spreading around.

[76] It's both a lip stain and a little cheek thing.

[77] I never tried it on my cheeks.

[78] That sounds so funny.

[79] What?

[80] Why does that sound so...

[81] Gross?

[82] Why does cheeks, like, automatically is a butt.

[83] Oh, you think butt?

[84] Yeah.

[85] I did not.

[86] I was...

[87] Oh, my God, I don't know why.

[88] Usually my other people was brain served.

[89] I don't know what's going on today.

[90] I'm probably getting my period.

[91] Cheeks.

[92] I'm like, don't.

[93] think that ever.

[94] I mean, like, if you said whole, then yes, I'm going butt.

[95] But no, wow, that's great.

[96] Okay, that's great.

[97] Maybe because I saw that all that bud stuff at Luna Luna.

[98] Oh, oh, yeah.

[99] You had some butt exposure.

[100] Yeah, and there was just a lot of butt focused art, which I enjoyed, obviously.

[101] And then I took a video from Monica, but then I felt like it might offend her.

[102] So I showed her in person.

[103] Anyway, so to go back to the lip stain.

[104] So it like stays on.

[105] It doesn't spread around.

[106] And it's not overpowering.

[107] Like it's not, because I just, lipstick just ends up, I don't know, going places.

[108] And this is just like a subtle rose touch situation for your lips.

[109] So it's like a very natural.

[110] Are you wearing it now?

[111] I am.

[112] Yeah, it's very pretty.

[113] It's just light.

[114] You probably don't think I'm wearing lipstick.

[115] But like if you want a natural kind of easy look, I'm a big fan.

[116] Oh, did you say the color?

[117] It's rosé.

[118] Like I think there's only one.

[119] Oh, okay.

[120] Great.

[121] Well, then I'm going to go old.

[122] old school as well since you went old school did you is that old that's the no that's not old school that's new fuck i went new school you go old school okay old school for me one of my tried and trues if they have it in sephora i have to stock up i have to have six of them is the dior lip glow oh i get it in berry they have other colors i think i bought one other color ones which i liked but the berry let me just make sure that's the lip gloss it's called lip glow uh they have a good gloss.

[123] This isn't a gloss.

[124] Oh, it's not.

[125] Okay.

[126] It's a lipstick, but it's more sheer.

[127] It also just adds to me the perfect amount of color.

[128] It looks so natural.

[129] It just like enhances your lips a little bit.

[130] Also adds I feel like a little pompiness.

[131] I'm not wearing it today, unfortunately.

[132] Oh, damn.

[133] Whatever you're wearing now, it looks great too.

[134] Thank you.

[135] Tom Ford.

[136] Nice.

[137] Okay, so now it's my turn.

[138] Yes.

[139] My old school is, you know how like you'll see the bottle for like literally 10 years, but you're like, am I staying it right?

[140] This is really good for you.

[141] advertising for all these.

[142] It is.

[143] Yeah, none of this is sponsored.

[144] Yeah.

[145] So the Mario Bodescu, the rose water spray.

[146] Okay.

[147] For me, I need to have it.

[148] I had a hair makeup person that would always put it on me before putting on anything.

[149] And it was just this like ritual thing for me. It just smells so lovely.

[150] Why does spraying your face feel so good?

[151] God, everything you're saying.

[152] So I just spraying your cheeks.

[153] No, but like, why?

[154] It just is a refresh.

[155] It is a refresh.

[156] It is a refresh.

[157] Cloe de Lee also has a really good mist.

[158] Is that how you say it because it's French?

[159] I don't say it the French way because you wouldn't know what I'm talking about.

[160] Right.

[161] But is that how you would say it?

[162] It's Caudailly.

[163] Okay.

[164] But I think we're allowed to say Cload Daly.

[165] I feel like I barely even knew how to say it the American way, so I'm glad you just said it.

[166] Well, we could say it the French going forward.

[167] Say it again.

[168] Claudealee.

[169] You're so cute.

[170] He's young French.

[171] So coquette.

[172] I could do AI for French.

[173] You could.

[174] They should.

[175] But you look French.

[176] No. Oh, my God.

[177] Yes, you do.

[178] Your French style.

[179] You eat like a French woman.

[180] You have the French aesthetic.

[181] Hello.

[182] Oh, thank you.

[183] I mean, you mean clothes wise.

[184] Fashion.

[185] Everything about you.

[186] French people listening, you can confirm this.

[187] It's like French women.

[188] Are you kidding?

[189] I'm dying to be one.

[190] Well, you basically are playing the part just to a T. I love that.

[191] No, you are a French woman to me. People don't know this, but you have a nickname for me. I call you a coquette.

[192] Yeah, which is a French word meaning.

[193] It means being, like, very cute and, like, beautiful and flirtatious.

[194] It is.

[195] I know.

[196] Procate's like ribbons.

[197] This is why the natal chart says, I need more Pisces and why you're so good for me. Because you're so kind.

[198] Like, you see me in a way that is.

[199] That the rest of the world needs you and that's just you need to align with.

[200] Oh, boy.

[201] Okay.

[202] Now, that's beautiful.

[203] Rosewater.

[204] Clodid.

[205] Well, Clodilly is not the rosewater.

[206] Mario Bidescu is the rosewater, but Clodale has a facial mist.

[207] They do.

[208] Tried and true.

[209] Everyone loves it.

[210] People keep it in their purse.

[211] I used to keep it in my purse, but I never used it.

[212] I liked it a lot.

[213] I just never picked it up and splashed my face.

[214] Sprayed my face.

[215] Spray your face, spray your cheeks.

[216] I heard that your face is supposed to be wet before you put on any serums.

[217] Damp?

[218] Damp.

[219] Yeah.

[220] Okay.

[221] Sorry.

[222] Now what?

[223] A facial spray could be, and I might, this might be totally wrong.

[224] But like, from what I understand from the science, it's a good way to like dampen your face before you put on.

[225] From the science, we aren't sure about.

[226] We are not sure.

[227] Yeah.

[228] Everything about this is very shaky.

[229] I like that.

[230] Okay, great.

[231] I'll do a skincare as well.

[232] Speaking of serums, this is a two for one.

[233] I .S. Clinical.

[234] I don't know if it's is, I think it's IS because it's a lower eye and a capital S. I .S. Clinical is the brand.

[235] They have a serum called the active C. It's so good.

[236] I don't know what's in it, but definitely get a tingle from it.

[237] It feels like it's really clean, like getting deep in.

[238] It must have salicylic or some sort of acid in it that's really good for acneic skin or, yeah, anytime you're like anything hormonal or you just have a tough time of skin as I do, it's so good as a day -to -day evening, preventing, like getting ahead of the zits.

[239] The zits.

[240] The zits.

[241] So it's great.

[242] And then I combine that with their proactive heel.

[243] To me, again, I don't know what's in it.

[244] I think it has vitamin C in it because it's really nice for brightening.

[245] It feels like liquid gold.

[246] It's like liquid diamonds and liquid gold.

[247] Wow.

[248] Because one's blue and one's gold.

[249] Oh, got it.

[250] Is it the see -through blue thing?

[251] It's a little see -through.

[252] Yeah.

[253] Someone very scientific recommended it to me. He was like an esthetician.

[254] Basically, I kept breaking out, and he was like, stop putting...

[255] Rose water.

[256] I'm kidding.

[257] He was like, stop putting so many lotions.

[258] And, like, again, lotion can be great.

[259] You know, figure out what your skin needs is like a whole thing.

[260] What a fucking lifelong journey.

[261] Exactly.

[262] And this bleeds actually into my other recommendation.

[263] If we're going to talk about serums, my favorite hyleronic acid serum is La Roche.

[264] All these are French.

[265] La Roche -Pose.

[266] La Roche -Pose.

[267] Yeah, that's French.

[268] Yeah.

[269] It is, I didn't even think of that.

[270] I do have some French stuff going on.

[271] Because you say that I'm a French girl.

[272] You're actually a French girl.

[273] You're French.

[274] I'm French -Canadian.

[275] It's very different.

[276] It's the same.

[277] I'm French.

[278] But, yes, I love their, it's a hyluronic acid and, like, B something, one of the B's vitamins that you need.

[279] And it just feels, because obviously you want something that makes your skin look good.

[280] But you want something that you're looking forward to putting on.

[281] Yeah, luxurious.

[282] Yes.

[283] Yeah, and it just feels like taking care of yourself.

[284] It's my favorite.

[285] And hyluronic acid for me was kind of a game changer because I can't break out kind of easily and doing too many moisturizers, which is what I was doing at the time before my intervention.

[286] And it was really helpful.

[287] And it's good, especially in the cold winter days, which a lot of people are experiencing.

[288] That's right.

[289] Okay, so next, I would say...

[290] Are you choosing between your favorites?

[291] Yeah.

[292] You feel bad.

[293] It's hard.

[294] Yeah.

[295] I know.

[296] I feel like I'm hurting their feelings.

[297] Because it's not that I don't like the other ones.

[298] Okay, one right now is Merit brand, M -E -R -I -T.

[299] You know so many, like, intricate.

[300] I've never heard of this.

[301] It's such a good makeup brand.

[302] It's not new on the market, but newer, I guess.

[303] It's like new to Sephora is in the past couple years.

[304] It's an incredible brand.

[305] I like it across the board.

[306] They're flush balm, which is a cheek bomb.

[307] It's so nice because I like both a powder and.

[308] and a dewy cheek.

[309] Sure.

[310] So I often combine.

[311] I'll do like a little bit of a dewy, which Merritt has these flush bombs that are great, and they have really good colors.

[312] I really like, there's one called Foxy, I think, or Fox, and one called Beverly Hills, both I really, really like.

[313] And I do a little on like the cheek bone of the, of the dew.

[314] And then I'll do, like, there's a Chanel powder blush, rose bronze.

[315] Ooh.

[316] And I'll do a little of that on the apple of my.

[317] cheek.

[318] And then a little brush over the nose.

[319] Oh, cute.

[320] But Merritt, the more dewy cream blush is so nice.

[321] It's called the flush bomb.

[322] But they also have some really good tinted lip oils.

[323] I feel like you'll like it if you like the lip stain.

[324] They're really, really nice and have gorgeous colors.

[325] Also, the packaging is really nice.

[326] I recommend Merit.

[327] I'm going to look into that.

[328] Okay, this is a huge one for me. Youth to the people have a lot of great skincare stuff.

[329] super very hydrate plus glowdry mask, which I know Rob uses.

[330] Yeah, you can relate.

[331] It's an experience.

[332] It feels like if skin care felt like a marshmallow and smelled like a garden roses.

[333] I am transported.

[334] What I like about it is that especially again in the winter days, you want to hydrate your skin in a way that like my favorite, my last bit is going to be controversial because I don't know if it's good or not that I'm doing it, but locking in moisture is a priority of mine.

[335] So I love when I wake.

[336] Is your next one like wrapping your face and like saran wrap or something?

[337] It might as well be.

[338] Okay, I'm just going to tell you.

[339] I, at the end of my routine, I mean, I'm single so I can do whatever the fuck I want.

[340] Yeah.

[341] I take a bunch of Vaseline and I just spread it on my face.

[342] I used to only put it on my under eyes to really get lock in the moisture there, which I do recommend.

[343] But I've started.

[344] I started just doing it, like, fully on my finger.

[345] But it locks in all of the steps.

[346] What's your pillow like?

[347] Well, they're white.

[348] But are they covered in goo when you wake up?

[349] Whoa.

[350] Yeah, they're not.

[351] So I don't know what's going on there.

[352] I mean, I do scroll for a little bit before I go to bed.

[353] So it probably dries a moment to dry.

[354] Still, though.

[355] But, yeah, my pillows are fine, I think.

[356] Okay.

[357] But, yeah, it's not for everybody.

[358] And, again, I don't know if I'm supposed to do this or not.

[359] But for me, it really, in the wintertime, you constantly feel like you're never really hydrated enough.

[360] Yeah, exactly.

[361] Do you have dry skin?

[362] I have a mixed thing.

[363] Combination skin.

[364] Which is why it's annoying.

[365] Or difficult.

[366] I wouldn't do it during the summer.

[367] During the summer, my skin gets more oily.

[368] I would say if you are an oily skin person.

[369] No, don't do this.

[370] Don't do this.

[371] I could never do that.

[372] My skin would implode.

[373] Okay, interesting.

[374] Because all the pores get clawed.

[375] But it's just overnight.

[376] It's just to seal it in.

[377] I'm not here to challenge.

[378] I think what works for you works for you.

[379] What's interesting about it is that it doesn't make me break out, but oils make me break out.

[380] Yeah, that's common.

[381] The very famous serum that starts with a V that won't be named because I don't want to name brands and say bad things about it.

[382] But that one feels great, but for me, it created so many breakouts because there's oils in it.

[383] Oil it on your face can be, again, for some people, totally.

[384] For some people, it's perfect.

[385] Yes.

[386] But for a lot of people, it can.

[387] can be harmful.

[388] I'm curious what people think.

[389] Or maybe there's other people who are doing this.

[390] I know.

[391] I'm curious, too.

[392] Wait, what was the second to last one?

[393] The super glow.

[394] Superglow is the mask.

[395] Yeah.

[396] If you don't want to do the Vaseline rub, that's how I got into Vaseline.

[397] Oh, wow.

[398] Baby steps.

[399] Yeah.

[400] The Superglow mask is like an overnight mask.

[401] You put it on sort of at the end of your routine and it kind of locks in moisture.

[402] It's just very luscious and creamy and hydrating.

[403] I love it.

[404] It smells amazing.

[405] I love the idea of a marshmallow on my Yeah, it feels like if a marshmallow was part of your skincare routine.

[406] Okay.

[407] Next for me is also a mask.

[408] I'm just sort of going off of you.

[409] Now, people aren't going to like this.

[410] This is not a cheap mask.

[411] Okay.

[412] It's the brand 111 skin or 1 -1 -1 skin.

[413] I don't know how to say any of these names.

[414] I think it should be 111 because that sounds cooler.

[415] It does sound cooler.

[416] They have sheet masks that are incredible.

[417] And they have so many.

[418] There's like a black diamond lifting and firming.

[419] There's a biocellulose facial mask.

[420] I just like the light blue one, which is a cryo depuffing facial mask.

[421] Wow.

[422] It's really nice.

[423] It's like cold.

[424] You put it on your face.

[425] You just let it sit for, I think, like 20, 25 minutes.

[426] And then you like, you know, kind of pat in the serum at the end.

[427] Always the next morning after I do it, my skin looks much different.

[428] I should do it every day, but I don't think you're supposed to.

[429] I think masks, they say, like, weekly, right?

[430] I know.

[431] It probably also clogs.

[432] Like, you do have to be a little careful once you see a little something.

[433] Sometimes I do this, right?

[434] And I'm like, this is such a good serum.

[435] I look so glowy.

[436] And even though it says, like, start three times a week, I'll just be like, no, twice a day.

[437] Yeah.

[438] And then, like, everything's fucked.

[439] I did have a pretty meaningful conversation with a woman at Sephora a couple months ago that startled me. a bit where she was like, you should not be using serums every day.

[440] All of these things can make like retinal.

[441] Yeah, retinal's intense.

[442] Again, I'm saying this wrong and like, please correct us, but there's something that happens to your skin where it becomes more vulnerable to the sun and to sun damage if you're using a lot of different.

[443] Yes, that is true.

[444] And again, there's no connection to your mask, but for some of these things, because I, same, I'll get obsessed with something and I realize, I mean, there was this whole trend of like cycling, skin cycling, where it's like one day you do this the next day you do another thing you have to give your skin like breaks but now yours has made me want to change my last one because I'm inspired by your mask because I have a great mask that really should be very expensive but it's not so it's kind of a hack and again it's the same makeup artist that recommended it it's the nutrigena hydrogel oh yeah it's so liquidy and dewy and it's very good for the wintertime it's filled with hyalronic acid She would put it on right before she would do my makeup, which actually was kind of interesting because then again, it just made my skin so much better that I needed a lot less makeup.

[445] Yeah, yeah.

[446] You want the skin underneath the makeup to be as primed, and hydrated and moisturized as possible.

[447] And I am shocked when I do it.

[448] And yeah, it's like three bucks.

[449] I mean, again, I'm sure your mask is better.

[450] No. But if you want like a lower cost option, you buy it CVS.

[451] They put it behind the little prison because they, because people love it.

[452] Is it because people love it or is it because people love it?

[453] Yeah, they want to just give it so weird.

[454] Or does it have an ingredient?

[455] Is it behind the pharmacy?

[456] No, no. Oh.

[457] It's with the cigarettes.

[458] What's the prison?

[459] Okay, so at the CVS in Brooklyn, like everything was behind a little gated plastic thing where you have to like ring a little doorbell for an attendant to come and open it up for you.

[460] Because I think there was just a lot of theft of Newtragina masks because we know that that's a perfect thing.

[461] I didn't know.

[462] I'm going to get some just because it's obviously limited a dish.

[463] It's limited a dish.

[464] Wow.

[465] About to be more limited a dish after people listen to this.

[466] Geez.

[467] Okay, I think I have one left.

[468] I think this has been really helpful for me. Actually, it's been really helpful for me. I love knowing what people are doing.

[469] I do too.

[470] I know not everyone loves watching like Vogue Beauty Secrets, but I do love it.

[471] It's interesting.

[472] And again, it might not work for you.

[473] It's just fun to know what people are up to.

[474] Yeah.

[475] Yeah, I agree.

[476] Okay, so my last one is going to be foundation.

[477] I really love Monica Blunder.

[478] Oh, I know.

[479] Her name is Monica Blunder.

[480] For me, it's a perfect mat.

[481] Like, it's, okay, let's talk about having brown skin in America.

[482] It's time to talk about it.

[483] It is really hard.

[484] The hard is far.

[485] It's like, all we talk about is racism, but no one's talking about brown skin and beauty.

[486] No, actually people are.

[487] It's actually a huge part of racism.

[488] And people do talk about it.

[489] But a lot of beauty brands just don't have the right colors for darker skin.

[490] And they have like 14 shades of white and then three shades of darker colored skin.

[491] And like, of course you're not going to fit into any of those.

[492] So it's hard to find brands that.

[493] really have a great scale of color.

[494] I have to be very honest.

[495] I don't know if Monica Blender does.

[496] I haven't really looked into her scale.

[497] I just know that I have a foundation from her that is my perfect match.

[498] So when I find that, for me, it's just like, that's it.

[499] But also the formula is so nice.

[500] Like, it's not dewy.

[501] Like, I don't love anymore.

[502] I used to love, what's the, we won't say it.

[503] We won't say it because we're not saying brands we don't want to do.

[504] But there's There's a very, very, very popular foundation by a brand that starts with a GA.

[505] It's a beautiful foundation.

[506] Something we're like, we're not going to say her name, but it starts with the and it ends with...

[507] It's two words, and the first one starts with G and the second one starts with A. But it's a beautiful foundation.

[508] It's a great, great product.

[509] Obviously, a billion people use it.

[510] But it was a little too glowy.

[511] It was a little too glowy for me. I've moved more towards a, like, as natural as I can get skin makeup.

[512] And I don't feel like I walk around and you can tell I'm wearing a bunch of foundation.

[513] I can't tell.

[514] It kind of melts into your skin.

[515] It's just a very nice formula.

[516] But still it gives you, like, a coverage.

[517] You can build it.

[518] Anyway, Monica Blunder, foundation.

[519] I highly recommend.

[520] Wow.

[521] Support for Sinkt comes from skims.

[522] We love skims.

[523] So much.

[524] I live in a post -skim world where, like, Like, I can now wear bras.

[525] Because of sizing.

[526] Sizing and comfort.

[527] Like, I don't understand how they just can make something that's so comfortable and that looks so good.

[528] Skims is creating the next generation of underwear and bras for everybody.

[529] So I'm wearing right now.

[530] Let me take a look.

[531] The Fits Everybody T -shirt bra.

[532] Me too.

[533] In Sienna.

[534] Oh, my God.

[535] Wow.

[536] I have it in Onyx.

[537] It's so comfortable.

[538] It is.

[539] And I guess it does fit everybody because we have very different proof.

[540] Exactly.

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[555] This is amazing because there's no time.

[556] Yeah.

[557] There's just no time.

[558] There is no time.

[559] And it tastes like you just made it.

[560] And there's smoothies, like, they're so healthy and yet they taste so good.

[561] I actually don't get it.

[562] I know.

[563] We talked about this other day.

[564] We were like, you're skeptical.

[565] Yeah.

[566] But we're not.

[567] It's like, because then you read the ingredients and, like, it's just very, very fresh food that feels like, it feels like you did your meal prep on that Sunday.

[568] But all week, you're just having the freshest, most healthy and delicious food.

[569] Yeah, and they have over 35 meals to choose from per week.

[570] And you can do keto or calories smart.

[571] vegan and veggie.

[572] There's so many options.

[573] I know a lot of people have been in sort of food ruts lately.

[574] I think the start of the year it's like kind of a sludge and it's dark and it's wintery and this can just like take one thing off your plate.

[575] So head to factormeals .com slash synced 50 and use code synced 50 to get 50 % off.

[576] That's code synced 50 at factormeals .com slash synced 50 to get 50 % off.

[577] Can we go into being brown in America and just because I think that's such an Wait, important, oh, brunch?

[578] No, we'll get back to brunch, but I think we should go to Sephora for this video.

[579] Yeah, that's a good idea.

[580] Or I do your makeup and you do mine.

[581] Oh, that's fun.

[582] Let's do that.

[583] Or like David doesn't make up.

[584] No, you always want to like add in.

[585] The boys.

[586] I know.

[587] I sent her men.

[588] I know, you sure do.

[589] I need to decenter them.

[590] I just think those videos are funny, and I never had a boyfriend.

[591] You know when, like, there's a fun girlfriend -boyfriend trend?

[592] Not really.

[593] I really do.

[594] I can't name a single fucking one.

[595] Okay, so I feel like I never had a boyfriend at the moment where that was a trend where, like, your boyfriend does your makeup.

[596] You know this trend.

[597] I don't.

[598] You don't.

[599] No. It was cute.

[600] Anyway, the time has passed.

[601] But, no, it's just the way that racism or sexism, right, all these isms, it's obviously these, like, big insum.

[602] institutional things that have huge consequences on our lives in like these huge ways.

[603] But the way that they like can make you the most mad is when it shows up in these like little small moments.

[604] This store is just teeming with products and it's so hard to find one that matches or is good.

[605] When I was younger, my aunt was really good at makeup and did makeup a lot and was really interested in makeup products and she would talk to me about it and she got me my first makeup item ever, which is still tried and true.

[606] Going to shout it out, Klinique Black Honey.

[607] What is that?

[608] It's a lip stick stain.

[609] It looks good on every single person.

[610] It really does.

[611] When you take the lid off, top off, what's it called?

[612] Cap?

[613] Yeah.

[614] See, Rob.

[615] When you take the cap, see men know everything.

[616] Liz is vindicated.

[617] Okay, so you take the cap off and it's very, very.

[618] dark.

[619] Like, it looks black.

[620] And so you think this is going to look crazy.

[621] And then it's just this nice, very light berry.

[622] It's gorgeous.

[623] Just was using it over the holidays.

[624] Oh.

[625] And so works for men.

[626] It's not that.

[627] It's so subtle.

[628] Yes.

[629] It's very light.

[630] Anyway, she taught me about black honey.

[631] And then she would say these makeup brands are good for our skin type or like good for people with darker skin.

[632] And I hated that.

[633] I went in the opposite direction.

[634] I was I'm not using that.

[635] I'm going to use these white people's and prove that I can wear it too.

[636] And I can't.

[637] Like, it doesn't look as good as formulas and makeup artists and makeup brands who have specifically thought about the undertone.

[638] Like, there's so much to it.

[639] It's like what's the undertone in our skin and what brings out those colors.

[640] If they're just using a white person as the prototype, it's never going to look as good on some more darker skin.

[641] They have to, like, it has to be active.

[642] It's an active choice.

[643] It's not that, and that was one thing I learned, like, when a lot of this was coming up a couple years ago about colorism and stuff, and this was sort of a derivative of it, a lot of people, and this is true, it's not that they're actively not trying to put out colors for darker skinned people.

[644] It's just extra work, and it is extra work.

[645] They then now have to have a person of color who they're testing on and who they're using those tones for and is that a minority group?

[646] So will those not sell very much?

[647] I mean, there's so much that goes into it.

[648] I have compassion.

[649] And also, I feel like, yeah, you just got to do it anyway, like for the greater good.

[650] And there's less and less white people.

[651] I mean, the percentage of the population that is, you know, we're all mixing up with each other.

[652] And so there's going to be more and more of a demand.

[653] So it makes sense to not just fill the demand that there is right now, but get ahead of the demand that's also coming.

[654] It just makes like business sense.

[655] Yeah, but it's sad.

[656] And you're right.

[657] It is those little baby moments where you for me with sexism, it's when I'm traveling.

[658] Yeah.

[659] My body knows or like the universe and it's like, you're going to get your period.

[660] Like 95 % of the time that I'm traveling for some reason I get my period.

[661] And then I'll get to the hotel.

[662] I'll like get my period on the plane or something stupid or whatever.

[663] And then I'm like, get to my hotel.

[664] I'm in a city I don't know or it's late and things are and there's a Bible in the hotel room, but there's no tampons.

[665] Yes.

[666] And I could get maybe like a toothbrush or like I could get a hair dryer and this hair like so many things but not get a pad.

[667] It's true.

[668] And because you're frustrated and you just want this little thing and you're like, now I have to go figure it out.

[669] Go figure it out and not be, you know, living my life in those moments I feel like is when I get the most angry as opposed to moments where it's a bigger thing.

[670] No, I get that.

[671] Abortion rights.

[672] Yeah, because also the bigger things are more esoteric.

[673] Their philosophies and their thoughts and their projections.

[674] This is practical day -to -day shit that we encounter, and that's when you notice it.

[675] And that's privilege, right, when you aren't encountering day -to -day.

[676] And that's the thing.

[677] Maybe it could be invisible for a minute, but then becomes impossible to ignore in that moment, that you're like, I can't.

[678] just go on with my life.

[679] Man. Wow.

[680] We went light and we went deep.

[681] As we do.

[682] We do.

[683] We're going to do one more.

[684] Okay, so we went to brunch.

[685] We did.

[686] Also, shout out.

[687] We didn't get her name.

[688] Oh, we should have, actually.

[689] She was, she was a big fan of Liz, and she also loved your coat.

[690] She did.

[691] And you let her try it on.

[692] This was, okay, we're just so different.

[693] We're so different.

[694] It's a beautiful thing.

[695] It's a great thing what you did.

[696] I couldn't believe it.

[697] I had to, with my hand, shut my jaw.

[698] Why?

[699] I didn't really.

[700] But I was like, what is she doing?

[701] But I've let so many people try on my ew.

[702] But also that doesn't creep you out a little bit?

[703] No, I get so much joy out of it because they're like, you remember our coat that we both had matching coats?

[704] That coat, people stopped me. Like, I wore it in Canada.

[705] I wore it to Sundance last year when I went.

[706] And every time someone stops me, like, oh my God, I love your coat.

[707] It's so amazing.

[708] And I'm like, you should get it.

[709] They're like, maybe I will.

[710] I'm like, try it on.

[711] Because then, first of all, it's expensive.

[712] Like, if you're going to spend money and that's the thing with online shopping, like you can never try it on, but here's an opportunity for you to try on the thing and know that it looks amazing on you or not.

[713] I don't know why to me, that level of generosity of spirit and kindness, that is so foreign to me. Interesting.

[714] It's great.

[715] I am not saying it's bad.

[716] It's not like you giving your phone number out every day.

[717] I'd wish you would do a little little less of that.

[718] But, um, but this is just really kind.

[719] My hang up, I think, is based in my, like, skeptical nature.

[720] One, one a. Um, one a. What are you saying?

[721] Are you giving us like a number?

[722] Yeah.

[723] You're like a PowerPoint.

[724] Like a PowerPoint presentation.

[725] Okay.

[726] I love this, actually.

[727] I would love a PowerPoint presentation of why you don't want people to try on your coat.

[728] Okay, let's be clear.

[729] Let's be clear.

[730] Strangers, yeah, again, it's about strangers.

[731] Obviously, I don't give a fuck of anyone in my life.

[732] I want people in my life to try it on.

[733] But it's my relationship to strangers versus your relationship to strangers.

[734] They just could not be more different.

[735] And 1A is germs.

[736] Like, I don't know why.

[737] I think it's like, I just, people have smells.

[738] And, like, their hair oils.

[739] And, like, we don't know how long they've gone without showering.

[740] And also, what if they had sex with someone?

[741] And then that person, like, left their...

[742] What?

[743] Juice, their cum, on their shirt.

[744] And then now it's in your coat.

[745] Wow.

[746] Okay.

[747] That is not where my mind goes.

[748] There's just a million things that can be happening on your body.

[749] And you just don't know anything about a stranger.

[750] You just don't know anything.

[751] One B. This is so bad.

[752] I'm like, it's going to get stolen.

[753] You think someone's going to put on my coat and one?

[754] It's very subconscious.

[755] I don't think that consciously.

[756] And I don't think it's real.

[757] There's no way that anyone was going to just run off with your coat.

[758] Like, I know that.

[759] But I think it's like just this deep ingrained thing that would be a part of preventing me from doing it.

[760] Got it.

[761] Safety.

[762] I see.

[763] Three.

[764] See, back to the smells.

[765] Smells exclamation point.

[766] Oh, I know.

[767] I know 4F.

[768] It requires more time engaging.

[769] Oh, got it.

[770] You want to end the reaction.

[771] Yes.

[772] I like a very pleasant, quick exchange, and then that's it.

[773] And they're holding my coat.

[774] Like, oh, my God, you're trapped.

[775] Like, until they decide to give you the coat back, you're stuck.

[776] Oh.

[777] It's now, you've now given them control.

[778] Interesting.

[779] But, okay, just to, you know, of course.

[780] Respond.

[781] Are you going to do it in PowerPoint?

[782] Okay, yeah, yeah, counterpoint, counterpoint, PowerPoint, PowerPoint.

[783] Okay, well, 1A, I'm going in reverse order to respond to your latest point.

[784] Okay.

[785] One A is you never have control.

[786] I know.

[787] And whether someone has your code or not, doesn't determine whether you're in control of the interaction or not.

[788] And so if they were to put on my coat for a little too long, I would feel empowered to say, it looks great.

[789] And I would use language in order to make the interaction end when I would want it to.

[790] I think that I'm somewhat confident.

[791] Look, okay, here's where I wouldn't let someone try on my coat.

[792] If we are seated next to each other on an eight -hour plane ride, because then I am stuck, then we are forming this.

[793] bond and there's no exit strategy for me. And I need to work on planes.

[794] I don't want to talk on planes.

[795] I would feel stuck.

[796] I would feel trapped.

[797] Whereas this feels very, she was also the bartender.

[798] She was amazing.

[799] This isn't about her.

[800] It just is an example.

[801] This is fascinating because I would be more likely to do it on a plane.

[802] Oh.

[803] Because we're already in it.

[804] There's no control anymore.

[805] Like we're just there in this environment.

[806] If I let someone borrow my coat and then they were just like, I love it so much and they were never giving it back, I would just turn my head to the window and then sleep, right?

[807] Like you can sleep or put headphones.

[808] There are ways to end the interaction that are societally known.

[809] Like putting your headphones in or sleeping or something.

[810] You can't do that at a restaurant when you're staring at the person and they're holding.

[811] But also, but also, you're I also stare and wait for the coat to come back to you.

[812] Honestly, let's role play this, okay?

[813] I'm going to be, I'm going to be a stranger.

[814] Okay.

[815] Oh my gosh, are you Liz Plank?

[816] Wait, are we role -playing this as a way to heal my issue, or are we doing this as a, what I would do?

[817] You are going to do as you would do.

[818] Okay, okay, got it.

[819] Okay, great.

[820] Oh, my gosh.

[821] Are you Liz Plank?

[822] Yes.

[823] Oh, my gosh.

[824] I'm such a big fan.

[825] I love your work.

[826] Thank you so much.

[827] I've read your book like six times, and I even read it out loud to my boyfriend.

[828] Wow.

[829] That's exactly why I wrote that book.

[830] That makes me so happy.

[831] But then he did break up with me, but then it was okay because we were supposed to break up.

[832] That's wonderful.

[833] I'm so happy for you.

[834] Yeah.

[835] What is that coat?

[836] I love your coat.

[837] I love your coat.

[838] Right?

[839] Where'd you get that?

[840] It's Celia B. She's an amazing designer.

[841] It's so cozy.

[842] It has big pockets.

[843] Look at the inside.

[844] It's super pretty.

[845] Like, do you want to try it on?

[846] Are you serious?

[847] Yes.

[848] Oh my God, try it on.

[849] It's so luscious and stuff.

[850] You're gonna, I can try it.

[851] Yes.

[852] Okay.

[853] Okay.

[854] I'm smelling it.

[855] Okay.

[856] That makes, yeah, that makes me a little uncomfortable.

[857] Wow.

[858] It kind of smells like you.

[859] Oh, my God, I love it.

[860] Okay.

[861] Putting it on.

[862] Oh my gosh.

[863] It's so cozy.

[864] Yeah.

[865] Okay.

[866] Aren't seeing that you're smelling.

[867] Snorting the coat.

[868] This is so warm and cozy.

[869] You should totally get one.

[870] How much is it?

[871] You know, it's kind of expensive, but she does a lot of sales.

[872] See, if you started sniffing around.

[873] No, I want you to do it.

[874] Do it.

[875] Be you.

[876] I would be gesturing towards taking it off the person.

[877] But then I'm like, oh, people can't see.

[878] I'm wrapping it even further around.

[879] And making it a big bundle.

[880] Oh, I just love it.

[881] Where are you going later?

[882] Oh, I'm not going anywhere, but I will need my coat back because it's cold out there.

[883] But you should totally get your own.

[884] It's amazing.

[885] And then I would, again, be like, taking it off, pulling it off.

[886] You know, the way that they do at a restaurant, you know, in a polite, sweet way.

[887] Okay, you did handle that better than I anticipated.

[888] It's like the hostage negotiation.

[889] It is.

[890] It seems like you like the smell of my coat.

[891] Okay, so you like the smell of my coat.

[892] It's hard because the coat is hostage.

[893] It was.

[894] But no, that would make me uncomfortable if they said smells like you.

[895] You never know.

[896] Well, first of all, the people who read my books and listen to this podcast, like the sweetest, smartest, most amazing people ever.

[897] It's remarkable.

[898] It is the fan base is incredible.

[899] It's extraordinary people who are just living their lives at a level.

[900] I should have done it as a different.

[901] I should have just been someone who thought you were pretty.

[902] Okay.

[903] Who didn't know you.

[904] That has happened to me and they've tried on my coat.

[905] Yes.

[906] More times the type of people that just love the coat.

[907] But people who just think you're so pretty, that's even scarier because then they want to like single white female you.

[908] Interesting.

[909] Single white female.

[910] They want to be you.

[911] I mean, that only happened to me once.

[912] Support for synced comes from needed.

[913] What I love about needed is they are advocating for better maternal and infant health outcomes.

[914] And they're doing groundbreaking women's health research through their clinical research arm needed.

[915] labs, not to like, you know, be obvious, but we need more needed.

[916] That's obviously why they called it that, because this area is so overlooked.

[917] Yes.

[918] You're growing a human inside of you.

[919] It still blows my mind.

[920] Ninety -five percent of women in the prenatal stages have nutrient deficiencies.

[921] That's so many.

[922] Yeah.

[923] And most prenatal vitamins include bare minimum nutrition based on outdated guidance and stale research.

[924] We learned about this on Rice 35, right?

[925] Like all this research happened so long ago, and then they were like, done, all done.

[926] And that's not like, things have updated and changed.

[927] And we deserve to thrive, not just survive.

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[931] That's this is needed.

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[934] Ugh, I'm obsessed.

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[937] Not yet, but scalp health is so important.

[938] It's like a massage every night.

[939] I keep it on my bedside table and I just like put myself to sleep with it.

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[942] I'm obsessed with Vagamore.

[943] I use their eyelash serum.

[944] I use their eyebrow serum.

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[947] Like, everything is Vegamore.

[948] It's amazing because it's 100 % cruelty -free and the products are never formulated with harmful chemicals, like parabens or hormones.

[949] That's a problem.

[950] Like, often you'll find something you love.

[951] Yes.

[952] And you get sort of addicted to it.

[953] And then you look at the ingredients.

[954] Yes.

[955] And you're like, of course, all these chemicals.

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[963] I did have a real, look, this was not coat -related, but I did have one bad experience with being too friendly.

[964] I was going on this date from the Internet.

[965] And so I'm waiting for this person at the bar.

[966] Either I'm early or he's a few minutes late.

[967] Two women and a guy are sitting at this bar and they're like having such a good time and they're like, oh my God, you're so beautiful.

[968] Like I love your outfit.

[969] They're like, are you here alone?

[970] I was like, no, no, I'm just going on a date.

[971] I'm just waiting.

[972] They're like, oh, my God, he's so lucky to go on a date with you.

[973] Like, and it was very brief, very positive and normal, but like sweet interaction.

[974] And then I walk off.

[975] The guy gets there and we go and sit down.

[976] I guess they got progressively drunker and drunker, which honestly is probably the main thing to take into consideration here.

[977] But they got way too overly invested in me as like a person.

[978] And it was like they were my sisters or something like that.

[979] And they were like, is this guy good enough for her?

[980] Like all this energy.

[981] Which again, at the beginning was kind of funny or like, you know, they were like looking back like so cool.

[982] But then I went to the bathroom and I got cornered and they came into the bathroom.

[983] You know how girl bathroom etiquette is you go very deep with women in the women's bathroom.

[984] You'll have deep conversations at like clubs and bars mostly, sometimes in restaurants too.

[985] But if there's drinking involved, it's kind of a whole meme on the internet.

[986] So it was a little like that, but I couldn't leave.

[987] They stood in front of the door.

[988] Yeah, they were really, and again, very drunk.

[989] And I wasn't because I'm on a date.

[990] I'm having dinner.

[991] And then they kind of were coming up to the table then after that and being like, you know, is she like she's amazing.

[992] You know that.

[993] right but and then by the end it like totally ruined the date like the guy was very uncomfortable and then I we never went on a second date so that was my only basically my point is usually I have a radar and if the person is coming in with a creepy intention or like I wouldn't have lent them my coat but that was the one time that I was wrong the energy ended up being kind of yeah it was so strange yeah actually I still don't really know I'm like did they like me did they want to be I have a threesome with you, probably, right?

[994] I didn't even go through my mind.

[995] It was just weird.

[996] They hate this guy and they're, like, ruining this date, but pretending to be looking out for me. Have you ever had people do that?

[997] No. But also, I've never, I would have said something.

[998] Yeah, how would you?

[999] If the bathroom thing is happening, I think I would say, like, hey, I'm feeling sort of uncomfortable.

[1000] You need to let me go.

[1001] Like, I would make it clear.

[1002] I'm not happy right now.

[1003] And then if they came to the table, I would say, this feels pretty inappropriate.

[1004] I'm just trying to have a date.

[1005] It was nice meeting you.

[1006] Yeah.

[1007] Harsher statements.

[1008] Right.

[1009] Because you were probably being so nice.

[1010] I was because, again, I'm telling you the ending, but like 60 % in, it was just funny.

[1011] You know, also like online dating is like, you're so awkward.

[1012] So it almost made it just lighter.

[1013] But no, then it veered.

[1014] And if I'd known that it would veered to that place, I would have never engaged with it.

[1015] And I think I have an issue where.

[1016] I cope with discomfort by making people more comfortable.

[1017] When I get uncomfortable or, again, I feel threatened, my go -to is to, I think a lot of women do this, is to just pacify, basically, so that the other person doesn't do worse things.

[1018] Exactly.

[1019] No, it is a strategy.

[1020] My therapist has said that there's fight, flight, and fawn.

[1021] And fawn is that.

[1022] It's sort of giving them what they want so that it doesn't get too far out of control.

[1023] It's upsetting.

[1024] But yet, it's very common.

[1025] I've done it too in certain circumstances.

[1026] Not, again, not with strangers so much.

[1027] But in a threatening situation, it's a tool that a lot of people and especially a lot of women use.

[1028] Which is your favorite F?

[1029] I mean, the favorite.

[1030] Well, your go -to.

[1031] Okay.

[1032] My go -to is flight, I think.

[1033] Or if it's someone I know extremely well and something is going awry, fawn is my go -to.

[1034] to.

[1035] Right.

[1036] I've been aware of that of when I use that and when I don't and how I think I use that when I feel the most threatened when I feel like my life is at stake.

[1037] All fun.

[1038] But flight in like a normal average threatening situation.

[1039] I flee.

[1040] I never really fight.

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] Fighting a threat.

[1043] I do fight in life.

[1044] Like I'll debate.

[1045] I'll like fight with people.

[1046] But if like shit's getting real, no, I don't.

[1047] Yeah.

[1048] What about you?

[1049] What's your favorite F?

[1050] My favorite F is definitely flight.

[1051] I love to leave.

[1052] Avoid the situation.

[1053] But I think my go -to is fond, too.

[1054] Yeah.

[1055] And fight has happened when, you know what?

[1056] It happens when the other Fs don't work.

[1057] I was in this, like, abusive relationship.

[1058] And, like, I had physical fight reactions, which I've never had in any of my other relationships.

[1059] Interesting.

[1060] Because he was so aggressive.

[1061] I never heard him.

[1062] but it almost felt so knee -jerk that it felt almost out of my control.

[1063] Like I remember once I just had my feet on the table and he was like yelling at me about whatever.

[1064] It was just additive.

[1065] And again, I felt he would never let me leave and is very toxic.

[1066] And I remember once literally pushing the table so hard and it like something broke and flew off of it.

[1067] And I didn't even register that I was going to do that.

[1068] And that's how I knew like this is.

[1069] Or like I broke my glasses once like I literally took my glasses like through them.

[1070] to the floor and they broke and I was like what is going on I didn't want to break my glasses yeah that's like just on me like it's a stress response for me that is ignited which might be a woman thing too that seems right yeah not a woman thing but more common for us oh yeah wow well okay I don't think we have time to get into what we talked about at brunch so we'll do that next time as my friend said you guys never finish the pins you guys put pins and then you don't go back to that's right we don't Okay.

[1071] The second one on the second page is good.

[1072] Friend talking smack?

[1073] Wait.

[1074] All right, let's do it.

[1075] Let's do it.

[1076] It looks good.

[1077] Oh, this is...

[1078] Oh, boy.

[1079] Okay.

[1080] Friend talking smack.

[1081] This is from Anthony.

[1082] This is a very specific scenario.

[1083] But my friend has a podcast company that produces a lot of podcasts, and I listen to several of them.

[1084] Not all.

[1085] She has always been very thankful for the support.

[1086] but ads that we, our friends don't have to listen to any of them.

[1087] And I recently mentioned that there was one show that I did not listen to.

[1088] I probably could have just kept that information to myself in retrospect, but she's always said listening is appreciated but not required.

[1089] But still, I did feel bad about saying it asking my wife if that was rude, but was assured it was no big deal, as our podcaster friend has always said listening was NBD.

[1090] So imagine my surprise, when I do tune into the show I rarely listen to and hear the host talking about how miff she is that I, me personally, don't listen to this specific branch prong of the umbrella, saying that I am somehow anti -feminist for not listening to this one podcast.

[1091] If you have something to say, say it to my face, Monica, clears throat then kindly.

[1092] So my question is, do I need to apologize for telling my friend I didn't listen to their podcast, or do I need to demand an on -air apology for her defamatory blind item about me?

[1093] Thanks, ladies.

[1094] Keep up the great work.

[1095] Well, Anthony, now we can say it, because I kept him anonymous, but he just outed himself.

[1096] This is Anthony Lombardo.

[1097] Old roommate of mine.

[1098] I wasn't also just talking about Anthony.

[1099] I was talking about somebody else who I will continue to keep anonymous.

[1100] Okay, I thought there was someone else.

[1101] Who may be listening.

[1102] Who also maybe has found his way.

[1103] The answer is, do you need to apologize for telling me that you didn't listen?

[1104] No. That's not what I'm looking for.

[1105] I'm looking for why this one.

[1106] I still don't know.

[1107] You didn't answer.

[1108] You didn't say.

[1109] Should we call him?

[1110] Yes.

[1111] Damn it.

[1112] Well, fuck.

[1113] I want him to pick up.

[1114] I want to know why.

[1115] Well, we know why.

[1116] But the reason I don't know why is because he is a feminist.

[1117] Anthony, you are a feminist and you treat people well.

[1118] I said all this.

[1119] And now I have to repeat it.

[1120] You treat people well.

[1121] You treat me. extremely well.

[1122] I'm very grateful for all the listening.

[1123] You don't have to.

[1124] I'm not saying you should be listening to this.

[1125] I'm wondering why this.

[1126] I'm still wondering.

[1127] And maybe you'll write in again and say.

[1128] And I will apologize.

[1129] Hmm.

[1130] Will I apologize?

[1131] This is an interesting.

[1132] Well, I will apologize if your feelings are hurt that I brought you up on this show.

[1133] anonymously to talk about an issue that I do think is an issue.

[1134] But I don't think you're not a feminist.

[1135] I want to make that clear.

[1136] You are one.

[1137] I mean, I like your approach, which is like, I don't understand why.

[1138] It's not a problem.

[1139] I'm just curious.

[1140] Yeah.

[1141] It's not something I want him to fix.

[1142] I don't want him to start.

[1143] He shouldn't listen because obviously I'm going to keep talking about him.

[1144] No, I'm not.

[1145] But I mean, yeah, I'm curious.

[1146] What is so lovely about him is I do know that him saying, I don't listen to Sink, it bothered him enough that he did ask his wife.

[1147] I'm sure all that's definitely real.

[1148] It bothered him enough, he probably, in his own head, thought, why don't I listen to that?

[1149] So what I love about Anthony is he writes his wrongs.

[1150] That's all we are asking for.

[1151] I want to know.

[1152] I just want to know.

[1153] I just want to know.

[1154] I mean, to me, this is like what so many, again, not that all men should listen to or whatever, it's not about this show, but I think that this happens to a lot of men where they are going along in the sea of the patriarchy and, like, doing their role and doing the thing and, like, listening to the things that they're told that they should be listening to.

[1155] And, again, we do this.

[1156] White people, it happens with all the ism and all the identities.

[1157] And then you get asked a question or called out or whatever it is, right, where someone is like, but this isn't in alignment with what you say that you are or how you, even seeing his potential as a person who I believe it is as your friend.

[1158] And I think those moments are actually really important for men.

[1159] I agree to just think.

[1160] And again, you're right, for all of us in all of our identities.

[1161] Like, why am I only listening to this lane of thinking?

[1162] And you aren't forced to think about it until someone says, oh, why haven't you listened to this?

[1163] And then you probably get defensive.

[1164] And then if you're a good person like he is, you then go, huh, maybe I should listen and understand why I don't.

[1165] It can still be I don't want to and I don't like it.

[1166] It's not for me. Yeah, for another reason.

[1167] Or for that reason, but you should know it.

[1168] Right, right.

[1169] Wow.

[1170] That's so funny.

[1171] That was great.

[1172] Thank you, Anthony, for writing it.

[1173] Oh, fun, fun, fun, fun.

[1174] Okay.

[1175] Body image and clothing confidence.

[1176] This is from Britt.

[1177] Hi, Monica and Liz.

[1178] First of all, I love the show and look forward to it weekly.

[1179] My question is about body image and body confidence.

[1180] I've struggled with body image issues since high school, and it affects how I dress even.

[1181] For example, I won't wear tight clothing unless I look and feel my absolute best, flat stomach, no jiggling at all in the hips, etc., which is rare.

[1182] Do you ever struggle with how your body looks in clothes or advice on how to let that go?

[1183] Sometimes I won't even let my husband see my naked body if I feel I look gross.

[1184] I'm in therapy, but I just have such a high standard for myself based on society standards growing up and can't seem to rid my brain of them.

[1185] Thank you for any advice you have.

[1186] I think this is so relatable.

[1187] Totally.

[1188] Sometimes I hate the way my body looks in certain clothes.

[1189] And sort of like the makeup thing, what we were talking about, where I was like, I'm just going to wear this white person makeup anyway.

[1190] I do that with clothes.

[1191] If I like it on the rack, it's not like ill -fitting, but I think my boobs look too big in it or something about my body I don't love.

[1192] I'll normally just get it.

[1193] I'll wear it.

[1194] Because I like it.

[1195] I like picking it out.

[1196] I like putting it on, and it's helped a lot of that, where I'm not trying to find the perfect clothes for my body.

[1197] And by the way, this is like horrible styling advice, I have to say.

[1198] Like, every stylist would say pick clothes that work well with your body.

[1199] But if you're actively looking to uncouple a connection in your brain, I think this is a good way to do it.

[1200] It's just sort of like, I don't give a fuck.

[1201] I'm wearing this thing that accentuates the part of my body that I don't love.

[1202] And how do I feel throughout the day?

[1203] At the end of the day, did I survive it?

[1204] Did people still smile at me and laugh and engage with me?

[1205] Yes.

[1206] So it's sort of like immersion therapy in some ways.

[1207] I have like the opposite advice that's so good though because I do love that.

[1208] I think that's the right thing to do and like anything.

[1209] There's no fix, right?

[1210] It's like something you have to try different things for.

[1211] And I had the privilege of getting to work with a stylist when I was at Vox, right?

[1212] And that was something that is not possible for most people.

[1213] But you can also get like cheap stylists.

[1214] There are virtual stylist.

[1215] Oh, my best friend just did this and it was so great.

[1216] Yes.

[1217] It's not like you have to like shell out so much money, but to have someone actually, because so often, I mean, there is nothing wrong with your body.

[1218] It's that the clothes, oh, did he call you back?

[1219] Anthony sent this gift or whatever.

[1220] Hold on.

[1221] I'm going to call him again.

[1222] And we'll pin.

[1223] Yes, yes, yes.

[1224] He's so afraid.

[1225] Don't write.

[1226] He's so afraid.

[1227] Exactly.

[1228] Don't write in.

[1229] and not be prepared for the consequences.

[1230] Okay, back to styling.

[1231] Okay, so, yes.

[1232] Yeah, because I got like a virtual designer from my little apartment.

[1233] It was like, I think $40 a room or something.

[1234] Like, it's really, really affordable.

[1235] There's a lot of things out there.

[1236] And it looks as good as like having an amazing designer come into your home and do the whole thing.

[1237] So that would be my first thing.

[1238] And look, I have really small boobs.

[1239] And for a really long time, I would do what you said, which I would be like, this dress looks amazing.

[1240] But then I would get it.

[1241] And yeah, it would just not be the right fit for my body.

[1242] And after a while, I realized, like, it's not about what my body looks like.

[1243] It's about the clothes that I'm putting on that then, like, primes me to think that there's something to focus on that part when there's nothing wrong with that part.

[1244] Instead of devesting from, like, it doesn't matter what you look like, like invest in yourself.

[1245] If that's something that's important to you and that you want to feel good because you deserve to feel good and feel amazing about yourself.

[1246] I know.

[1247] This is weird because they're both options and I think they're opposite.

[1248] and I think they're both potentially effective.

[1249] And wait, one last thing is your husband doesn't give a fuck.

[1250] I think that that part...

[1251] Oh, well, well, well.

[1252] Look who decided to show up.

[1253] Am I on air right now?

[1254] Yep.

[1255] Yes.

[1256] I do not condone to being on air.

[1257] Well, when you do something rassily, it comes back to you.

[1258] First of all, I'm sorry if your feelings.

[1259] her by your shout -out.

[1260] But I did keep you anonymous, and you have now outed yourself.

[1261] So congratulations.

[1262] And I have a follow -up.

[1263] Go on.

[1264] So your question is, do I need to apologize for telling my friend I didn't listen to their podcast?

[1265] No. You'd never need to apologize for that.

[1266] But that's not really what we were talking about, right?

[1267] We were saying, why?

[1268] And you have not answered that.

[1269] And I'm curious.

[1270] It's not about listening.

[1271] You don't have to listen to anything.

[1272] And you know that.

[1273] And I think, I hope.

[1274] Apparently not.

[1275] No, it's if you listen to four out of five, what is it about the fit?

[1276] And by the way, it can be just like, you guys have voices suck.

[1277] Like, you're, or you're grading or I don't, I could be a million options.

[1278] I'm just, asking you to ask yourself why.

[1279] Which, by the way, and I already said this because you didn't answer, so we talked about it, I know that you already did this, which is why you then listened.

[1280] Or did Allison tell you, be honest.

[1281] Well, two things.

[1282] Two things are true.

[1283] One, Allison did tell me. Okay.

[1284] Allison listens, big fan.

[1285] Yeah, she is.

[1286] Yeah, love Allison, love her.

[1287] She loves me. But, no, I was going to listen to this one.

[1288] I was listening to another spoke of the umbrella.

[1289] The one were you talked about everything going on with your grandpa, the fact check.

[1290] Oh.

[1291] That was a little wonky that one.

[1292] There's a lot of other things going on.

[1293] And I did see in this episode, it was like, Monica talked about her grandpa.

[1294] I was like, oh, I should listen to me. I see.

[1295] Yes, because you're a wonderful friend, which you are.

[1296] I'm not taking that away from you.

[1297] You're the best.

[1298] And also, why don't you like this show?

[1299] I do not dislike this show.

[1300] This is good for the world what you're doing, Anthony.

[1301] It is.

[1302] I appreciate it.

[1303] I really, I don't want to be.

[1304] I do not want to be on this podcast.

[1305] Well, why'd you write in?

[1306] Everyone can write in.

[1307] Well, if you're right in and you know me, you're probably going to get called.

[1308] I love.

[1309] Also, I made it clear, and I'm making it clear again, you are a feminist.

[1310] I'm not, you are.

[1311] I have fired with all that.

[1312] Okay.

[1313] I don't know if the parenthetical was right, but it was all meant in good fun.

[1314] All right.

[1315] Well, do you listen now or?

[1316] No. Okay.

[1317] It's fine.

[1318] I guess you're just not going to tell us why.

[1319] That's maybe okay.

[1320] I guess I just want you to know.

[1321] My goal is to make this the least compelling content in this moment so I do not end up on this podcast.

[1322] Wait, what?

[1323] I am going to be the least compelling version of myself right now, so I do not end up on this podcast.

[1324] Oh.

[1325] So far it's pretty compelling.

[1326] Pretty good.

[1327] Hello, Liz.

[1328] Hello, Rob.

[1329] Hi, Anthony.

[1330] I hope everyone is doing well.

[1331] We're doing great.

[1332] We do appreciate you.

[1333] I can't speak for them, but I do.

[1334] I love that you listen to all of our shows.

[1335] It's very flattering.

[1336] All but it's all very flattering.

[1337] And thanks for writing in.

[1338] No problem.

[1339] Thanks.

[1340] I can't wait to listen to hear what you guys have to say about my question.

[1341] Okay, bye.

[1342] I have Allison Tommy which upset.

[1343] Oh, fuck you.

[1344] Bye.

[1345] God.

[1346] Okay.

[1347] Well, we didn't really get...

[1348] We did not.

[1349] He wasn't going to give us anything.

[1350] But he is making it on the show.

[1351] I'm leaving a lot of that in.

[1352] Okay.

[1353] Now, Dax actually has kind of helped me with this.

[1354] Like, Dax randomly, like, once had a conversation with him where he was just like, I mean, his whole circles thing.

[1355] He's like, guys just care about circles, like, that you don't need to be, like, you know, that women pay a lot more attention to, and we'll be able to tell if they put on weight or, but, like, men are not that focused on that.

[1356] even like I was watching, re -watching friends.

[1357] And obviously, Jennifer Aniston is beautiful no matter what.

[1358] But she, you know, progressively kind of loses weight throughout the show, honestly.

[1359] And I found myself kind of, I don't know, maybe it's my age, maybe it's like the fact that I've watched it like seven million times.

[1360] But I was like, I like her when she's like at her most full.

[1361] And again, she's Jennifer Aniston.

[1362] Like, but that kind of changed something in my head because I think maybe a few years ago, I still would have thought like, well, thinner is better.

[1363] But, like, thinner is not better.

[1364] It's such a false ranking that we've created and definitely reinforced.

[1365] And I think that is even more of a pressure on women to see themselves through that prism of how thin they are and, like, jiggly, like some of the words that brings up.

[1366] And I just, yeah, I want us to see ourselves through a different list.

[1367] And especially the part about, you know, not wanting to be naked from her husband.

[1368] Your husband is interested in your naked body, no matter what.

[1369] I agree.

[1370] My approach of just wearing the thing that sometimes might accent.

[1371] the quote jiggling in your hips or like my boobs look so big in this and I don't love that because I'm not going to change that I could stress myself out to try to change it or I could just accept these things about my body and I guess for me like wearing the clothes that don't accentuate it is it's in a way hiding it but I see both depending on you and your mood and what you need that day.

[1372] So my friend just did this virtual styling session and she really loved it.

[1373] And she just had a baby.

[1374] So she's coming out of that.

[1375] And she was like, I just want like a refresh.

[1376] It was very cool.

[1377] And the stylist gave her like just like two tips.

[1378] Like I think you should wear more belts because you don't like this one thing.

[1379] So maybe just like wear a belt.

[1380] So even just something like that.

[1381] Totally.

[1382] And you end up saving money by the way because you're buying things that actually fit your body and that you love.

[1383] That's what I also didn't foresee with working with a stylist.

[1384] And can I say one more thing is like not to make everything about Taylor Swift, but watch her documentary and watch like her transformation into like Taylor Swift now and just her aura and like everything about her life and like when she was at her thinnest and what was going on.

[1385] And examining her body.

[1386] Yes.

[1387] And just like thinner is not better man. It's like it's just a false ideal that's pushed onto us to just make us miserable about the way that we are right now when like loving your body should be the goal.

[1388] not changing it.

[1389] Accepting it.

[1390] It's keeping you alive.

[1391] Like, there's only one.

[1392] It's very special.

[1393] But it's also hard.

[1394] We all struggle with this.

[1395] But those are some options of things to do.

[1396] Okay, well, we ran out of time, but we have a lot of good questions for next week.

[1397] We do.

[1398] And we have a pin.

[1399] Well, yes, a brunch pin.

[1400] Coming your way.

[1401] And then we also have our horrible challenges coming up soon as well.

[1402] Oh, God.

[1403] Oh, and update on that.

[1404] We've said it's totally fine.

[1405] is going to pivot.

[1406] She's not going to do My Tears Rickshay.

[1407] She's going to do blank space, which is great.

[1408] Make it sad.

[1409] Oh, she's going to do blank space sad.

[1410] Because Rob wanted to be a sad song, so I'm making it sad.

[1411] I'm still sticking to it.

[1412] I'm just modifying.

[1413] Yeah, which is great.

[1414] Everything's great.

[1415] All right, we'll see you next week.

[1416] Bye, Anthony.