292 - All Coffee & Apple Pie

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] That's George Hard Star.

[2] That's Karen Kilgariff.

[3] And we're here to do a podcast for you.

[4] Are you interested?

[5] All right.

[6] Do you listen to a podcast?

[7] Oh my God, you have to.

[8] They're so funny slash interesting slash incredibly boring.

[9] Do you ever meet someone who doesn't listen to a podcast who's like a podcast like, you know, the target audience?

[10] And you're like, what are you doing with your life?

[11] Because they don't listen to any podcasts.

[12] They've never discovered that little purple.

[13] button on their phone.

[14] Is it purple?

[15] I think so.

[16] It's just so weird to me because there's so many different topics.

[17] Like you could, if you're into like food, let's say, which everyone does oxygen.

[18] There's a great oxygen podcast from the oxygen network called Breathing Deep.

[19] Breathing heavy.

[20] That was, that's of course, Ian La Von Zanzant's new podcast.

[21] That's right.

[22] Yeah, there's, you can truly, you can truly, you can.

[23] can be the most, uh, only interested in one obscure thing person in the world.

[24] Yeah.

[25] And there's a podcast for you.

[26] I mean, there's falling asleep podcasts.

[27] So like, to me, that's just like the most, that's just the most random thing.

[28] But there's many podcasts for it.

[29] Because everyone needs it.

[30] There's also, there's also a search feature, which even though I've been listening to podcasts for long time, I've never thought of this.

[31] And this is how I do the dishes and the laundry and things in the morning.

[32] In the search box on the podcast app, you just put in the name of the person you would like to listen to talking.

[33] Yeah.

[34] So one morning I was like, wait a second, I don't just have to think about that time I stood next to Colin Farrell at the Arkley.

[35] I can actually put his name in the search bar and any, and of course he's on podcasts.

[36] I think he did his brother -in -law's podcast.

[37] No. Yes, I swear to God.

[38] Who's his brother -in -law?

[39] A podcaster?

[40] It's just his, I believe it's his brother's husband that does a podcast that had him on.

[41] Oh, how cute.

[42] Which is awesome.

[43] Makes you love him even more.

[44] He's very smart.

[45] Is he?

[46] Do you love him even more?

[47] Look, this is my private thing.

[48] I'm saying you put your private Colin Farrell into the search bar and then start yourself on podcast through the door of your specific interest.

[49] I've done that.

[50] I put like, like I was really interested in certain like certain psychiatry podcasts for a while.

[51] So like you put in like, you know, MDMA therapy or ketamine therapy just to like learn more about it.

[52] There's millions of probably hundreds of thousands.

[53] I don't know about millions.

[54] Podcasts about it.

[55] There's probably 15.

[56] There's really at least 15.

[57] There's definitely at least 15.

[58] Right.

[59] Start start there.

[60] Also it's so funny because it's such a specific thing that you don't you don't have to like popular podcasts.

[61] Right.

[62] I say this all the time.

[63] Most of the time to members of my family.

[64] That's okay.

[65] I don't expect you to like it or care whether or not you like it because everybody it's almost as specific as the friends you have.

[66] Yeah.

[67] You don't you don't have friends whose voices make you want to claw your eyes out.

[68] Yeah.

[69] Same with podcast hosts.

[70] You don't you don't want to binge hang out with your friends, certain friends.

[71] Certain friends.

[72] Some you do.

[73] Some you do, but like a lot of times the people who make you fall asleep, you only want to hang out with them.

[74] from like 1 a .m. to 3 a .m. That's right.

[75] And the friends you want to hang out with for like a month, like you would never get sick of them, those are the podcasts you binge.

[76] Yes.

[77] Right.

[78] Here's what's funny.

[79] We're explaining podcasts the people who are already into podcasts.

[80] Every single person listening right now knows.

[81] And yet screaming no doy at the top of their lungs.

[82] Otherwise, like I didn't find this on a PBS station, Karen in Georgia.

[83] Right.

[84] I didn't.

[85] this i'm not anyone else's mom i know how to use this podcast you know what i speaking of pbs you know what i fucking found randomly on tv i don't even know if it's on pbs actually this would be at bbc but however test me try me i'll tell you right now i the fucking why don't i always watch this antiques road show but in fucking the u k where things are older than they are here much shoulder and people act almost offended when their thing is worth a lot of money.

[86] They're kind of like put out by it.

[87] Whereas like you can tell the Americans are like, yeah, go ahead and tell me. This is the only reason I'm here.

[88] Yeah.

[89] I don't care about this.

[90] The history of this jar.

[91] Yeah, exactly.

[92] But the British, have we talked about this already?

[93] Probably.

[94] It's been five million episodes.

[95] Yeah, true.

[96] True.

[97] I just love that.

[98] That the British are very demure when they're like, well, this wooden boxes worth three hundred thousand pounds.

[99] Oh, my.

[100] They're almost like grossed out by it.

[101] Yeah.

[102] Oh, it's ostentatious because it's ostentatious, right?

[103] Right.

[104] Where that's what basically what Americans are.

[105] Hell yes.

[106] Including myself.

[107] I'm not talking shit.

[108] Like, no, we're included.

[109] Yeah.

[110] We're over the top, the two of us.

[111] We really are obnoxious.

[112] Especially when it comes to bargain or gold digging through antiques.

[113] But there's nothing cool.

[114] cooler than when you look at a thing and the person says, oh, where did you find this?

[115] The person tells some story.

[116] And then they're like, well, it's an ancient artist.

[117] Totally.

[118] What's better?

[119] Nothing's better.

[120] Or like, here's a little trick about it.

[121] You didn't know.

[122] The back opens up and out comes a magical elf who will grant you three wishes.

[123] You're like, oh, my.

[124] And then the British people are like, oh, no, no, thank you for the elf.

[125] We're going to keep it in our family.

[126] That's right.

[127] They always keep it.

[128] They never want the money.

[129] it in the foyer.

[130] That's right.

[131] For the grandchildren to break.

[132] To break and ruin.

[133] I'm positive.

[134] We've talked about the repair shop because when my dad came to visit me last year, he and I like binge the repair shop.

[135] And it's the British show where they take these treasured antiques all around the Great Britain and bring them in because it was like this was my father's tricycle.

[136] Or this was my mother's precious china bowl that somebody dropped.

[137] I smashed in a rage.

[138] Yes.

[139] Now could you please glue it back together believably?

[140] Yeah.

[141] Because I love when on Antiques Roadshow, you could be like, and here you can tell that someone tried to repair it.

[142] And like, that's totally me with all my vintage shit.

[143] Just like a fucking hammer and some gorilla glue.

[144] And just, like, it's not fixed.

[145] Oh, man. Oh.

[146] I'm just thinking now about the myriad of beautiful vintage pieces that I so lovingly picked wherever I went that one of my many cats have broken.

[147] Yeah.

[148] Just shattered.

[149] Yeah.

[150] But I'm going to let go and let God.

[151] It's a tough one to let go of, though.

[152] I told you about that dream I had once where I was in a weird thrift store, didn't know where I was.

[153] And suddenly I looked in the glass case, you know, where normally they keep watches at a thrift store.

[154] And it was all my old stuff for my childhood, like, through high school.

[155] And I was like, That's mine.

[156] And it was actually shit you recognize.

[157] Oh, yes.

[158] In the dream, I recognized it.

[159] But then when I woke up, I was sitting there trying to remember.

[160] And it was just symbolism, basically.

[161] Yes, of course.

[162] But all of it, it was such a freak out.

[163] And I was just like, that's so obviously what it's at the bottom of all that, of that thrifting kind of treasure hunting.

[164] Yeah.

[165] Like letting things go, fucking wanting, waiting.

[166] I don't know.

[167] Anticipating.

[168] For you to justify.

[169] My love.

[170] Hey, Madonna was on the VMAs.

[171] Was she really?

[172] I didn't watch it.

[173] I just read, I just wake up every morning at 4 a .m. And then I'm never sure if I actually read it or if I sleep, I sleep read it.

[174] But I did see that and I'm proud of her because as a 51 -year -old woman, when I scrolled the red carpet photos of the VMAs, no joke I didn't know who one person was, except for Olivia Rodriguez.

[175] go.

[176] Karen, Vince and I did that last night.

[177] I also did not understand why brain would not fucking comprehend those outfits.

[178] Like, what in the fuck?

[179] It looked, it truly looked like a satire of a red carpet thing from a movie set in the near future.

[180] Or the early 2000s.

[181] Because I think it was Doja Cat who was wearing a hat that was a chair on her head.

[182] Oh my God.

[183] I love Doja Cat, by the way.

[184] There's an episode in season two of the show Dave that is incredible that she's and she fucking kills it.

[185] She's so incredible.

[186] I fell in love with her.

[187] That show is great.

[188] I only know her for a hat chair.

[189] But she had a fucking hat chair.

[190] I don't understand high art and fashion, clearly.

[191] It's not to be understood.

[192] Should we go to our recurring corner of Game of Thrones?

[193] Our brand new recurring corner of Game of Thrones.

[194] We might get sued for that.

[195] Let's not get sued.

[196] I just did.

[197] That's three notes.

[198] They can't pin me down on that.

[199] There's no way.

[200] Okay.

[201] I've only watched one more episode because Vince has been home.

[202] Okay.

[203] You know, and he keeps saying, like, we can watch it if you want.

[204] And I'm like, I don't want to do that to you.

[205] You don't want to force someone to watch something that they might only a little bit like.

[206] Right.

[207] And then the whole time, like, that's so -and -so.

[208] And she killed this person's pet.

[209] And then they got mad and then there's dragon.

[210] Like, I don't want to have to keep explaining things to him.

[211] And then he just pats your hand.

[212] Uh -huh.

[213] Oh, sweetheart.

[214] Is that your interest?

[215] Why are you scrolling?

[216] You're still scrolling.

[217] Like, why are you on your phone?

[218] Do you not like this?

[219] turn it off.

[220] Let's turn Seinfeld on.

[221] Like, I don't want to fucking do that.

[222] Let's just turn Seinfeld on.

[223] This is, so Game of Thrones is now your private show.

[224] It's my private show.

[225] It's not my relationship show.

[226] You asked me a question about who.

[227] I was going to say, will you tell me as well as some listeners, who your favorite character is so far?

[228] It has to be, and I don't know how to say her name, and I thought it was a different name.

[229] And so now I'm confused.

[230] Who's, what's her name?

[231] Oh, the Mother of Dragons?

[232] Yeah.

[233] It's a DeNaris.

[234] DeNaris.

[235] DeNaris.

[236] And what's the actresses name?

[237] Amelia Clark.

[238] Ooh.

[239] Is that right?

[240] Is that right?

[241] Let me look it up.

[242] Yeah, Amelia Clark.

[243] Oh, Stephen says yes.

[244] So you love the mother of dragons?

[245] Yeah, and I have a feeling she's going to become a badass motherfucker.

[246] Oh, that's, yes.

[247] Your feeling is right on.

[248] But then I was just scrolled.

[249] I kind of accidentally made a mistake and scrolled through this like the top favorite characters and like read a little bit.

[250] So now I'm like, oh, I'm actually going to knock.

[251] like Aria Stark's little brother, like, oh, oh, right.

[252] Oops, you know, I'm actually going to like Sansa, even though I can't stand her by episode four.

[253] And like, Circe, she's going to be a badass woman fucker?

[254] Yeah, good guess.

[255] Even though I don't actually like her right now, but I'm going to like her later.

[256] Not supposed to like her right now.

[257] But a pixie cut, then she becomes cool.

[258] See, that is the, to me, the frustration of when you don't either have.

[259] the time or decide not to get into something that's popular in a moment, but then because of the way social media works, you ingest it anyway.

[260] I already know, like, who the killer is or whatever.

[261] Yeah, completely.

[262] Have you gotten to the part where Ned Stark's wife, I can't remember her first name?

[263] Mrs. Stark goes to visit her sister?

[264] No. Okay.

[265] But I do love Ned and Mrs. Stark a lot.

[266] Do you?

[267] Especially Mrs. Stark.

[268] Oh, is that a mistake?

[269] I also love the king.

[270] He's fucking hilarious.

[271] Oh yeah Mm -hmm Is that I could tell Oh bad things are going to happen to everyone Look bad things Everyone gets fucked over To everyone Yes and everyone gets fucked over In that show and in life Okay So don't get it too attached to anyone Yeah and both Okay I mean it's not like I think it's a fucking Romcom Where everyone like ends up together I know it's like Everyone turns on it It's like fucking medieval times Oh A bunch of people told us That it's based on the actual story War of the Roses from way way back when so you weren't wrong and thinking like you know this is based on an actual it's historically based it is so yeah yeah it's it's real um they did like real royal stuff right and real wars uh huh but um with a little bit of fantasy with a little this and that mixed in sprinkled upon it with Greg sprinkles all right do you have a surprise Okay.

[272] So as I told you last, as I told you before, all right, here's how the epic tale starts.

[273] Okay.

[274] I told you about how I was really into a gross food, Reddit.

[275] I showed you a thing for Brock's Thanksgiving candy.

[276] That was Thanksgiving flavored.

[277] You said there's no way.

[278] It must just be like the cornucopia of like shapes, but not flavors.

[279] I was like, yeah, that makes way more sense.

[280] Then everyone told us that that's not true.

[281] It's actually.

[282] actually the flavors.

[283] Then I go online and I fucking find them.

[284] They're probably expired because I bet they're from last year.

[285] Yes.

[286] No. There's no way.

[287] Brox doesn't roll like that.

[288] They don't expire.

[289] They would never.

[290] Well, I didn't buy it from them.

[291] I bought it from like a suspicious third party.

[292] Oh.

[293] Yeah.

[294] So they arrived last week.

[295] Spelled BROC