63 - Steven's Tuxedo

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only Martyrs in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] I'm like that for.

[17] I'm just...

[18] Stephen was looking at his knobs.

[19] very concerned.

[20] Intently and concerned.

[21] Almost like a DJ.

[22] He did look like Steve Aoki, kind of.

[23] He looked like a Las Vegas DJ.

[24] Totally.

[25] Being like, what about the trouble?

[26] That's me. What about the base?

[27] Have you done any DJing, Stephen, in Las Vegas?

[28] Can't say I have, but it's the dream, you know?

[29] Is that where you're aiming?

[30] Is that the goal?

[31] To be on one of those billboards for Hakasan?

[32] Yes.

[33] Oh.

[34] DJ Steve.

[35] Steve, what would your, what's a better DJ name for Stephen?

[36] DJ mustache.

[37] DJ stash.

[38] Oh shit.

[39] DJ stash.

[40] Coming this fall.

[41] Yeah.

[42] What if it's Elvis and Stephen?

[43] Elvis is the headwinner.

[44] Don't try to shove Elvis into this.

[45] This is Steven's project for Las Vegas.

[46] Sorry, Stephen.

[47] Elvis gets up and the moves like scratches the record himself.

[48] Elvis, anything to say about that?

[49] He came up to the mic and then.

[50] on the mic he's about to fucking end Elvis is the MC with a lot of intent Stephen is the DJ Elvis is the MC um speaking of Elvis and Stephen we have a corrections corner because last week glaringly missing from the episode was both Stephen and Elvis because Stephen thinks he can take a fucking vacation and fucking walk away from this thing that we were going to give you shit about it Stephen the unpaid intern that does the most work of anyone on this podcast.

[51] He thinks he can go visit his mother.

[52] He can visit family.

[53] That he can stay behind in Portland.

[54] Nope.

[55] Do whatever he wants in Portland.

[56] Don't worry.

[57] He begged us to come back.

[58] And we were like, we'll talk it through.

[59] Yeah.

[60] So this is his trial episode.

[61] Yeah.

[62] And Elvis like revolted because he was like, well, so, well, that means we recorded at the Farrell audio studios.

[63] And like, when I got there, I was like, wait a minute, Elvis isn't here.

[64] so he wasn't on either but don't worry he's fine a lot of concern a lot of social media concern for elvis he's very healthy he's here in front of us flicking his tail around as we speak yeah and they were like are georgia and karen okay because they're not yelling at steve in this episode yeah they're like this is all very uncomfortable but everyone's fine no somebody was like does your mom yell at you like karen do you miss it uh yeah of course did you miss getting reprimm demanded for shit that you had nothing to do it for shit that is clearly our fault uh i did do the i did do a my favorite murder related activity i sent you guys pictures i went to klein falls which was the subject of one of the live stories yes which was like it was eerie because i'd never done anything like that like visited the site of something but my mom is like oh it's just up the road from where i live like okay uh i guess i'll take pictures because people might want to see this but it changes the view when you know that someone who got fucking bludgeoned by a hatchet there.

[65] So crazy.

[66] Well, welcome back, Stephen.

[67] Thank you.

[68] Yeah, we're glad you're back.

[69] Yeah.

[70] We're glad you're back.

[71] So real quick, I want to do March Corner.

[72] We have a new design.

[73] It's a really cute, kind of a cursive, awesome thing.

[74] It says, sweet baby angel or sweet baby angle.

[75] You can pick which one you want because, of course, I always say sweet baby angel, but then one hometown murder misspelled Angel for Angle and then it's fucking gone from there.

[76] So go to My Favorite Murder Shirts .com.

[77] It was designed by our friend Kirsten Ben Como who's from the printful where we print all her shit.

[78] She's fucking awesome.

[79] And yeah, pick Sweet Baby Angel or Sweet Baby Angel or Sweet Baby Angel.

[80] And we have like fucking onesies now and phone cases and all these crazy shit.

[81] Toot bags.

[82] Toot bags.

[83] Mugs.

[84] And what I like about this Sweet Baby Angel or Engel shirts is it, There's so many color choices.

[85] surprising amount of color choices.

[86] It's very cool.

[87] It's a fucking cute shirt.

[88] And I think it's like if you wear it and people don't know what it is, they won't know.

[89] But if they know, they know.

[90] Yes.

[91] That's right.

[92] It's a less overt murder, you know, shirt.

[93] It's very cute.

[94] It is very cute.

[95] I do have a thing that it's not, it's neither, it's a new corner, but it's almost like an announcement corner, but it just feels like, I've heard from enough people online, you and I have talked about it enough.

[96] So this feels like a thing that just needs to be said, which is more like this.

[97] We love touring.

[98] We love doing live shows.

[99] We have the best time.

[100] It is such an amazing thing to come out to a wall of energy and people's positivity.

[101] It's the best.

[102] Ninety -nine percent of the people that go to our shows and participate in our shows are lovely, joyous people.

[103] who are having a great time.

[104] We heard from a bunch of people from Portland who didn't have the best time in a couple of those shows because there were people around them that were yelling so much at us, the entire show.

[105] And there has been a thought that has been floated in the community that we like it when people yell at us from the audience during the show because then it's a chance for me to yell at people or for us to make jokes about it.

[106] And just for corrections, just no hard feelings.

[107] We've always had a great time.

[108] We will continue to have a great time.

[109] But just so you know, we don't like it when you yell at us at all during the show.

[110] And it's gotten to a point now where we just have to completely ignore people.

[111] There was a show in Portland that was crazy.

[112] There were people in the audience that were yelling at us literally the entire time.

[113] And it was, there were people around them bumming out.

[114] I know.

[115] What are we?

[116] do we can't if we say something to them then that they'll keep doing it but we don't say anything we don't say anything what we do is this we let people know that we love your energy that we love that you want to participate but please don't tell yourself we want you to yell at us because that is not true at all it's never been true and for me being a stand -up comic for 20 years we when you get a heckler in an audience you shut the heckler down because that's how you perform a show of comedy.

[117] That's how you keep in control of the crowd.

[118] But you don't want to be heckled.

[119] So just because comedy comes out of it doesn't mean that's a positive experience for anybody.

[120] And it certainly ruins the time of the people around you.

[121] Like there was a couple people during one of those shows and it was just constant commentary the whole time.

[122] And it's not pleasant.

[123] And we now just ignore it.

[124] As someone who's kind of new at this whole onstage thing, it's really distracting to like to keep being distracted by this when I'm trying to like concentrate on being a good performer and telling my story well and not being nervous and you know sitting up straight not accidentally flashing my underwear and you know well and we really have worked it's not like anyone can say this is any kind of like we're not doing crowd work we're especially by the time we sit down and we're reading our stories we have a president that we want to give to everybody and that everybody wants to hear at 99 .5 % of the people in the room want to hear what we're saying.

[125] So if you are the person that got drunk and couldn't stop yelling or you thought it would be funny to yell or talk to us, just know no one's mad at you, everything's fine but yeah, we absolutely don't want that to be happening.

[126] So just as clarity, it seems like there was people in the audience in Portland who were upset because they paid good money and they waited just as long and they're just as big of a fan as anybody going crazy who can't control themselves and yell the whole time, well, there's people around you who are just as big of a fan and yet they're controlling themselves.

[127] We understand where it's coming from.

[128] And believe me, when I saw the kids in the hall live at the UCLA theater, I wanted to scream chicken lady the entire time.

[129] I wanted them to know what I liked.

[130] I wanted them to know what was in my mind and heart.

[131] I wanted them to understand how loyal you were yeah because it's a big deal to me it meant a lot to me so honestly the fact that there are people having those feelings toward us it's my dream come true it's it's we take it the way you mean it but we would love to not have to deal with it you being there is enough can I do new podcasts that I like corner please but I'm worried okay so I found this I found this podcast because I was we're going to Milwaukee and I was doing a lot of research into Milwaukee murders.

[132] So stop me if you're working on this.

[133] Oh, I'm not.

[134] You have a picture I'm going to stop you by telling you I'm not working on anything.

[135] So go for it.

[136] Great.

[137] So I found this one because it was such an interesting story and I'm like, how have I never heard about this before?

[138] And then as I do with every story that I want to read, I put in the name and podcast because I don't want like sword and scale to have done it a week ago and I seen like a fucking asshole.

[139] Right.

[140] So I did this one.

[141] And I found this podcast.

[142] podcast called Unsolved.

[143] And it's about this kidnapping and murder of this kid named John Zira back in 1976.

[144] And they never found the guy, but they maybe found this.

[145] There's all these suspects.

[146] And of course, it's just like the Johnny Gosh story where it's like, look how bad.

[147] This was bungled because we didn't know how to find people.

[148] And there's two different districts.

[149] And they interviewed people and didn't follow through.

[150] And then this guy, later turns out to be this child molester and is it him isn't it him is it not him but it's a good podcast and it's a every episode is really short and it's by another awesome female uh investigative journalist which i'm really stoked that there's so many of those lately so many now so many and you know so it gives it a little bit of yeah so it's a good one so unsolved unsolved yeah and then you were telling me about one that i started listening to called hollywood and crime yeah what's that one Okay, so Hollywood and Crime is about, and I did a thing, finally, I thought, I pre -thought it out and downloaded all the episodes before I got on the plane.

[151] Oh, I don't do that.

[152] It makes me crazy.

[153] You get on the plane and you're like, fine, I'll listen to the thing now.

[154] You haven't downloaded it.

[155] You can't listen to it.

[156] And then while we're taking off, I'm like, take it off airplane mode and try to download every episode.

[157] And then I crash the plane.

[158] And or try to buy go -go in -flight, which is just a bunch of bullshit.

[159] Total bullshit.

[160] I hate GoGo InFlight so much.

[161] Any, like, airplane Wi -Fi is such a scam.

[162] They're taking $27 directly out of your bank account, and they're like, okay, good luck with that Wi -Fi 30 ,000 feet in the air.

[163] Yeah.

[164] That being said, see, as we grow and change, I pre -downloaded eight episodes of Hollywood and crime.

[165] And I was so proud, filled with pride.

[166] And what it is is, the Black Dahlia murder, which happened in 1940s, four, six, nine, something.

[167] Seven.

[168] It happened in the 40s.

[169] Great, there.

[170] It definitely happened in the 40s.

[171] Stephen will jump on it.

[172] But the interesting thing is there were other female murder mutilations around Los Angeles at the same time that people don't talk about.

[173] and so it strings together all of these different cases and it's unbelievable and how they're related I only listened to like 10 minutes of the first episode and already was like they both worked at the same fucking nightclub yes there was definitely at least I'm I think I was up to the fourth episode and I'm like there's a hundred percent like a slashy face killer in Los Angeles and it was because it was the slashy face killer his slashy face killer World War II they don't that's the thing about it I was thinking is like there's so much shit during World War II that nobody paid attention to because the news was filled with the World War II.

[174] World War II constantly.

[175] And most the boys were being shipped out and coming back and that whole thing around.

[176] There was a thing called the Hollywood Canteen, which was where the Formosa, down on Formosa, I think, or somewhere in Hollywood proper, where active duty soldiers would go and they would get to dance with actresses.

[177] Like, Betty Davis used to run it.

[178] And so you could go there and, like, I think that alcohol wasn't allowed and you couldn't like have any romantic like romance wasn't going to be but like you'd pay for a slow dance or any kind of dance well i don't think you had to pay because because you were that was the whole idea is like if you're active duty but you're on leave you can come to the hollywood canteen and like basically party with celebrities and it's all on us and all the ladies thought they were like doing a service for the servicemen that's right and it was and um Elizabeth smart Elizabeth smart there Elizabeth smart?

[179] Nope, Elizabeth.

[180] Short?

[181] God.

[182] Now I don't know.

[183] It's a mix of like, wait.

[184] One of those is wrong.

[185] Smart is modern, short is old.

[186] Right.

[187] She went there and so did a couple of these victims.

[188] One of them is called the bathtub.

[189] It was called the bathtub murder and it was this woman who had a lot of money, this young woman.

[190] She went to the canteen a lot and she was found in a in a bathtub full of bloody, water and her face, I believe her face was cut.

[191] It's amazing.

[192] Because Elizabeth Short was drained of blood.

[193] Yes.

[194] And they thought it was done in it.

[195] They surmised it was done in a bathtub, right?

[196] I think so.

[197] Or they definitely know it was not, it was a, they had her somewhere for a long time.

[198] Right.

[199] That's the horrible part of that murder is that she was tortured for a long time.

[200] And the person that killed her and may have killed these other women is the worst serial killer ever and they never caught it and if they're not related that it's such an insane coincidence that these murders were happening all around the same time i hate how normal her autopsy photos are getting where like you click on cold case file or cold cases and you click on images and it's just a close up of her face have you seen that yeah it's a horrible cutting yeah and it's just like you don't even put in like black dolly you know like and you see these like crime scene photos it's rough And I fucking hate, you know, I love crime scene photos.

[201] I bought a fucking book called, like, crime scene photos, basically when we were in Portland.

[202] To prove how much you love crime scene photos.

[203] I just wanted to prove it.

[204] No, but it's, actually, I kind of fucked myself over because it was vintage crime scene photos.

[205] So I was like, great, it'll be like mobs and mobsters and like that kind of thing.

[206] Good outfits.

[207] Yeah, it's not.

[208] It's horrifying.

[209] It's very graphic.

[210] Oh, no. It's not late night reading.

[211] And it's vintage in terms of like, It was back when people would die of horrible things, right?

[212] Like, rabies or something?

[213] Well, there's, there are rabies ones, actually.

[214] The rabies ones are the worst thing of all.

[215] There's just, it's, it's more like horrors, but there's a lot of deaths.

[216] There's like a whole page of suicide hangings.

[217] We call them sex workers.

[218] What?

[219] Horror.

[220] Horror sex workers.

[221] That was, that was very poorly timed for what the next sentence was, and I still said it, and I shouldn't have apologies to everybody.

[222] I'm still laughing.

[223] And so is everyone else.

[224] you guys were all creeps together.

[225] Steven's laughing with both hands over his face and a third hand came up.

[226] We don't know where it's from.

[227] Mimi is cracking up.

[228] Mimi loves it.

[229] Suicides.

[230] Hanging suicides.

[231] And there's a description.

[232] Actually, I found out it's like a Los Angeles police detective's book of his cases.

[233] That they turn into like a coffee table book.

[234] Wow.

[235] For people who don't get dates.

[236] Hey, hey, watch it.

[237] We do fine.

[238] us people that love those books.

[239] Vince doesn't want to see it.

[240] There's a guy with elephantitis of the nuts, and Vince wanted to look at that.

[241] It's pretty fucking fabulous.

[242] Oh, man. Yeah, that's a good book.

[243] I mean, that's the kind of thing.

[244] The reason I don't look at those pictures anymore is because in the 90s when I was, you know, a riot girl or whatever the hell I thought I was doing, there were lots of times where we would look through books like that.

[245] And it was almost like a contest of like, everyone would look at this crazy thing.

[246] And be like, well, I don't even care because Kirk O 'Bain.

[247] And I've seen things that I can, I still see it in my mind.

[248] Like the child who died of rabies, I can, I can see it in my mind when I say that.

[249] It's horrible.

[250] I can too, but for some reason it makes me want to like consume as much of it as I can so that.

[251] So you know.

[252] I just don't want to look away.

[253] Yeah.

[254] Yeah, so I know.

[255] Hey, speaking, that just reminded me. There is a movie.

[256] Have you ever seen that it's like kind of a documentary?

[257] It's called Wisconsin Death Trip.

[258] Okay, it is the best.

[259] I don't know.

[260] Steven, have you seen it?

[261] No. I haven't.

[262] He just did the most hilarious nod.

[263] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong.

[264] It is, they took a book, I think it was just of like the police blotter from cities around Wisconsin in the 1800s, mid -1800s, I believe.

[265] And so they just read the stories.

[266] of what the police, you know, what they were doing and what the crimes were.

[267] And it's insane because it's just like today, except for it was in the mid -1800.

[268] So it's like a boy walked onto, into a farm yard and shot the two people standing there and walked away.

[269] And when the police arrested him, he said he was bored.

[270] And then there's like mothers who go and drown their children in the river.

[271] And all these things that we think are happening now and they're just, oh, this time we live in.

[272] and it's so awful or whatever.

[273] And it's like, you got to watch Wisconsin Death Trip.

[274] It's just...

[275] What are the video of?

[276] The visuals are this really awesome, sepia -toned, like, B -roll that they took all around.

[277] Because so much of Wisconsin is really nature and farms.

[278] And there's, you know, so they basically are just, if it's, if the crime is about a person walking into a farm yard, they walk down a road and they get like a little kid in overalls holding a gun or what but they don't it's not like act it's not total reenactments it's just more of like to feel yeah right and it's kind of creepy like a distant white farmhouse you know that where it's like it is creepy i want to see that you don't want to see i do oh no i want to see that i thought you were like nope the farmhouse shut me down i can't deal with kids and overalls really makes really triggers me it's it triggers you about me and grammar school about me when i was a waitress and i had to wear fucking overalls.

[279] Where?

[280] This little cafe in Santa Monica when I was like 19 and they required you to wear overalls.

[281] What?

[282] Full overalls or like an overall skirt dress?

[283] I think you could do whatever you wanted, but all I had was like Dickie's overalls.

[284] Was it a gas station restaurant?

[285] Like one of those like...

[286] It was country.

[287] It was like a country themed restaurant.

[288] Can we do a gift corner?

[289] The podcast.

[290] Yeah.

[291] Let's do that.

[292] No, no, no, no. Okay, real quick.

[293] We got sent a couple really good presents.

[294] Yeah, really quickly, we were opening presents before this.

[295] Sent to the P .O. Blacks.

[296] Thank you guys so much.

[297] Every day's Christmas, I'm my favorite murder.

[298] Yay.

[299] This is how we love you.

[300] This is how to get us to love you.

[301] Okay, so we got these incredible pins.

[302] They're like the enamel pins that everyone loves.

[303] One is like a closed switch blade.

[304] So cool.

[305] It's so cool.

[306] One is a fucking Ouija board, a little enamel wiji board with a movable, what do they call these?

[307] The movie part?

[308] Cursor?

[309] Cursor.

[310] Old -fashioned cursor?

[311] It's a cursor.

[312] One, and then there's one that says sweet honesty.

[313] One says, speck politeness, which I'm putting on a leather jacket.

[314] One that says slightly spooky, which I guess we said at some point in our lives.

[315] Or maybe it's from another true crime podcast she likes.

[316] Right.

[317] Or he.

[318] Okay.

[319] Okay.

[320] It says, Dear Georgia, Karen and Stephen, thank you for making the best podcast in the world.

[321] We have no murders to share but wanted to gift you guys with some killer pins.

[322] 50 % of the proceeds for the sweet honest.

[323] see pin goes to end the backlog the rest of us are just selfish and then it's one of those emojis where it's a smiley face shrugging which i love yeah don't know how to do but i love that's a good one thank you all so much by crystal kim and an anna and it's the company is called um fuck called memento mori mori mori mori memento mori yeah so go and figure those things out on Etsy because they're really cool pins they're such nice pins yeah very cool and we got a a whole box full of them.

[324] Thanks, you guys.

[325] Nice designs.

[326] Good job.

[327] High five.

[328] All right.

[329] Let's do the official nose blowing.

[330] Great.

[331] And then let me start.

[332] If I were a crafty person, I would send you in the mail little, like five little black table cloth handkerchiefs.

[333] Hey, this is exciting.

[334] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[335] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite.

[336] favorite podcaster detectives.

[337] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[338] Who killed Saz?

[339] And were they really after Charles?

[340] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[341] This season, murder hits close to home.

[342] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[343] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[344] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[345] Who knows what'll happen once the cameras start to roll?

[346] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy.

[347] Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[348] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[349] Goodbye.

[350] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[351] Absolutely.

[352] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[353] Exactly.

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[368] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[369] Goodbye.

[370] Okay.

[371] Isn't that gross so to save your snot?

[372] It's super disgusting, but it's a funny joke referencing when you blew your nose on the tablecloth.

[373] No?

[374] No good.

[375] No, I get it now.

[376] I get it now.

[377] I didn't understand.

[378] Saving your song is beyond disgusting and makes no sense.

[379] But I did blow my nose on a tablecloth in Portland.

[380] That did happen.

[381] Yeah.

[382] So that would be fitting.

[383] It was pretty goddamn great.

[384] I felt like everyone felt very freed by that action.

[385] I was, as I was bending down to do it, I was like, you should be humiliated while you're doing this and I didn't.

[386] No. It's just gone now.

[387] It's almost like we're just breaking down the rules of society.

[388] Yeah.

[389] Fuck you, mom.

[390] Come to our live show.

[391] You won't.

[392] believe what we do tricks and things and blowing laws blown to shreds and mine's blown mines and laws blown uh you or me i don't know me i should know this i'm miss uh uh oh my gosh it's georgia yes because you did the gorilla killer oh that's right okay i don't remember what i did last week oh i do no i don't okay All right.

[393] Ready for a serial.

[394] I do.

[395] You did the Moors murders.

[396] Right.

[397] And then someone sent me a text saying, did you know that the Smith song, Suffer the Little Children, is about the Moors murders.

[398] That's right.

[399] Which you kind of have, they say their names in the song.

[400] Do they?

[401] Yeah.

[402] Hindley.

[403] He calls her Henley in the song.

[404] Oh, that's so cool.

[405] Let's all listen to it.

[406] That's her new theme song.

[407] Are they going to sue us?

[408] yeah all right uh ready for a serial killer i am real horrible guy uh oh here we go joseph edward duncan the third the third the way i looked at you when i said that was born in february 25th on february 25th 1963 in tacoma washington and i said that he looks like the actor ben mendelson who was the older brother from bloodline remember that guy's got kind of a lisp and he's like a broad he's like an actor and he's kind of well hot Bloodline, was he the bad one?

[409] Yeah.

[410] He's the one everyone's worried about?

[411] That guy's amazing.

[412] He looks like him.

[413] So like creepy skinny.

[414] Just so you have an idea.

[415] Okay.

[416] Um, like gangly.

[417] I like this describing what they look like.

[418] Because, you know, you think of a big fat person and that's not who this person is.

[419] He's not like a great big fat person.

[420] He's not that.

[421] He's like.

[422] He's size 14 roomy.

[423] Anyways, he kills children.

[424] No. So in 1976.

[425] He's 15 years old, and he commits his first recorded sex crime.

[426] At 15, he rapes a 9 -year -old boy at gunpoint.

[427] Oh, fuck.

[428] Yeah.

[429] I said I was going to raves at 15, and he was raping children at gunpoint.

[430] Fuck.

[431] Yeah.

[432] What happened to him?

[433] I don't know, and I can't find a lot of information on it.

[434] Okay.

[435] So clearly nothing, something horrible.

[436] Yeah.

[437] Hit his fucking head.

[438] I mean, and then he went to a boy's, I mean, it's like, they go to Juvie, then they get raped it's so terrible and their mom like oh i don't want to get as gross as i feel like i mean we really could say the worst things in the world and be right okay the following i want to say it but it's so horrifying that like i say it and then stephen will bleep it okay i read somewhere and maybe it was ted bundy's mom or some like some killer's mom that like when he she would take him to go to the bathroom she would pinch his peeing his peeing as a kid.

[439] Mm -hmm.

[440] I think that's Ed Dean.

[441] Is that Ed Gein?

[442] So he wouldn't go?

[443] I don't know to like, if he didn't do it, she would get mad at him and pinch.

[444] And it's like, how do you not have a sexual fucking sadist on your hands?

[445] Yes.

[446] On your gross hands.

[447] On your filthy, disgusting hands?

[448] No, that's horrifying.

[449] On your penis pinching hands.

[450] I'm pretty sure that's Ed Gein's mother.

[451] She was out of her fucking mind.

[452] Yeah, that's right.

[453] Didn't he killed her, right?

[454] No, she died of natural causes.

[455] He kept her in the house.

[456] And played with her body and, like, wore her face in the moonlight.

[457] Pretty sure.

[458] Sorry, Stephen.

[459] Well, that's romantic.

[460] Well, shit.

[461] Nipple belt.

[462] Yeah, so unbleep now.

[463] Okay.

[464] Yeah, nipple belt.

[465] Is that him?

[466] Yeah.

[467] That's our guy.

[468] Should we give a shout out to the girl who is?

[469] Fuck, man. We're going to need to post this.

[470] But, like, we got this, like, gift once.

[471] And it was a box, and there were these, like, this, like, crocheted belt in it.

[472] And we were like, okay.

[473] All right.

[474] We are yarn crocheted.

[475] belt.

[476] Was that in Oakland?

[477] I think it was the Oakland show.

[478] No, no, it was sent here.

[479] Oh, oh, sent.

[480] Yeah, because then you guys left and I went to take a photo of it.

[481] And as I'm looking through the lens, I realize that it's a crocheted nipple belt.

[482] And it's like every different color nipples, like different races of nipples.

[483] And it's, and I just lost my mind in like joy of like how creative.

[484] Like that's the description of murderinos is like our listeners is someone crocheted a fucking multicultural nipple belt.

[485] A nipple belt giving Edging that shout out.

[486] Also, the fact that you had to have that realization alone, it's actually almost perfect.

[487] It's that like, growing horror.

[488] We were, we pulled that thing out and we're like, is it a, is it a cat toy?

[489] Like, we were just like whipping it around.

[490] We had no idea.

[491] And then I, it just made me so happy when I realized how awful it was in the hat cutest way.

[492] Yeah.

[493] Yeah, because you couldn't tell.

[494] You had to, it was like a magic eye poster.

[495] You really had to stare at it for a while to understand the hideous dolphins.

[496] I got to post it.

[497] Okay.

[498] Anyway, the following year, Joseph Duncan is arrested for driving a stolen car, and that's when he's sentenced as a juvenile and sent to Dislin's Boys Ranch in Tacoma, which you know is probably a hellhole.

[499] Nightmare.

[500] He tells his therapist when he's there that he had bound.

[501] and sexually assaulted six boys.

[502] And he also tells a therapist that he had raped around 13 younger boys by the time he was 16.

[503] What the fuck?

[504] Yeah.

[505] So he's a serial rapist?

[506] Can you imagine losing count?

[507] He said around 13 boys.

[508] What does that therapist fucking go home that night and drink?

[509] They're just like, now I become a sea captain.

[510] I'm done with this bullshit.

[511] I'm going to be a librarian now.

[512] To the lighthouse, he said.

[513] Goodbye.

[514] I'm going to get a cat.

[515] You know, maybe just a ton of cats, like 30 cats, just pet him.

[516] Just surround myself with cats.

[517] In 1980s, still in Tacoma, he steals guns from a neighbor and abducts a 14 -year -old boy again, rapes him at gunpoint.

[518] And for that, he's sentenced to 20 years in prison, but he's released on parole in 94 after serving 14 years.

[519] Then he's arrested in 96 for marijuana use, but he's released on parole a few leaks later.

[520] but with new restrictions.

[521] And then in 97, he's around 34.

[522] He's arrested in Kansas and returned to prison after violating the terms of his parole, but he's released from prison three years later in July 2000 with time off for good, good old good behavior for the serial rapists of children.

[523] Good in prison, clean your fucking tray at the canteen at mess hall and you can leave.

[524] so that okay so in the summer of 2014 he's accused him molesting a six -year -old boy at a park in Detroit Lake Minnesota but he's not captured until March of 2005 and he's held on $15 ,000 bond so there's a dude who's a businessman from Fargo who somehow Duncan had become acquainted with who helped him post bail huh 15 ,000 dollars I wonder what brand of pedophile he was allegedly allegedly businessman yeah yeah I mean very allegedly yeah and if he wasn't he must fucking hate himself now true what if he was just trying to be like a good smyrton yeah he was a guy down on his luck oh he says he didn't he said he didn't molest a six -year -old boy at a park so maybe he didn't and i'm going to spend half of some people's salary or getting out anyways duncan skips down okay two months later in 2005 uh cuton i county idaho authorities discover the bodies of Brenda Grown, 40, her boyfriend, and her 13 -year -old son.

[525] They're in their family home near Cordillane, and they've been bound and died of blunt force trauma to the head.

[526] Wow.

[527] And, um, sorry, Brenda's two other children, Shasta, who's eight and Dylan, who's nine.

[528] Oh my God, I hate this one so much.

[529] I know.

[530] It's so horrible.

[531] Okay.

[532] I know.

[533] I almost didn't do it because it's so bad.

[534] I left some of the shit out, but I didn't know that this guy had so much background to him.

[535] I didn't, but it makes perfect sense.

[536] Of course, he does, but oh, my God.

[537] Oh, my God.

[538] Yeah, it's just one of those stories that you can't fucking believe is real.

[539] Yes.

[540] I can still see the TV when I was watching the news and them showing the CCTV or whatever foot.

[541] Okay.

[542] I totally know what you're going to say, but you're going to give away the ending.

[543] Tell your story.

[544] I'm so sorry.

[545] I saw it too, and it's...

[546] It just burned in my mind.

[547] Yeah.

[548] So Shasta is eight.

[549] Dylan is nine.

[550] They're missing from the house and the three others, the three older people are dead.

[551] And so they issue an Amber Alert and they comb the area and they can't find the kids until six weeks later in July 2005, Shasta is recognized from her Amber Alert by a waitress, a manager and two customers at a Denny's.

[552] and they're back in Cordillane, Cortal Lane, is that you say it?

[553] Cordillane.

[554] The workers freak the fuck out, immediately phone the police, and they position themselves to prevent Duncan from leaving.

[555] Police officers arrive at the restaurant.

[556] They arrest Duncan without incident, and Chast has taken to the hospital to be reunited with her dad.

[557] And so the footage we're talking about is them walking into the fucking Denny's, and she's got her arms crossed.

[558] She's like this little blonde girl.

[559] He's this creep who looks like John Mendelsohn, Ben Mendelso, and she's got her arms crossed and it's clear something is wrong.

[560] Yes.

[561] And you wonder if you had seen that, would you have thought something was going on too?

[562] They must have, because that many people, I remember reading about the waitress coming to the table and being like, I don't like to feel here.

[563] Are you okay?

[564] Yeah, what's going on?

[565] And I think she waited, did he go to the bathroom?

[566] Maybe.

[567] There was some moment she had with Shasta, I believe, where she was like, this isn't good and she called the police.

[568] Well, what's so weird about it is you, I have to wonder, they went back to the town they were from.

[569] So everyone in that town must have known intimately what both, well, maybe they didn't know who he was yet, but what she looked like.

[570] Yes.

[571] So there was another sighting of them, you know, in another state that they later realized happened.

[572] And the woman who worked at the store, it was like a gas station was like, I thought it might be her, but I wasn't sure.

[573] So I didn't do anything about it.

[574] and it's like well someone in your town would have done something and it also tells you like if you have a bad feeling about something don't worry about hurting the dad's fucking feelings if this child looks in distress at least talk to one other person about it yeah if you if you don't send up every red flag you ever feel right bad feelings but there's definitely if you're in tune enough there's when you know something's wrong you know it's wrong and trust yourself i've always thought that like if I see a kid who looks uncomfortable or in distress or not not feeling like where they're supposed to be, it's okay for me to go up to a kid and be like, hey, what's your name?

[575] You know, like engage with the kid.

[576] You know, I'm not a fucking dude, so it's not creepy.

[577] But like, don't do that if you're a guy.

[578] Tell a woman to do that.

[579] But, you know, to be like, what's your name?

[580] And if you fucking send something is wrong.

[581] Like you can just tell by body language with a kid, something isn't right.

[582] I mean, there should be, yeah, I wish there was some kind of like set process or keyword, you know, whatever.

[583] This, yeah, listen, write down everyone's license plate.

[584] Every creepy dude's license plate at all times.

[585] Just take the time.

[586] You don't need to work.

[587] Quit your job.

[588] Get a spiral notebook.

[589] Sit in front of a gas station.

[590] And just write down license plates for a while.

[591] Yeah, done.

[592] But I adore that Denny's waitress.

[593] Oh, my God.

[594] Because you know that, first of all, if they were doing, she's probably working the night.

[595] she's seen some loony tunes people.

[596] You know she doesn't call the cops every time she sees a scraggly Mendelsohn type.

[597] No. We shouldn't involve that actor at all.

[598] The poor guy.

[599] He's like, wait, what the fuck?

[600] Fuck you guys.

[601] No, we just got them fucking cast on the lifetime movie of this motherfucking case.

[602] You're welcome, Ben Mendelsso.

[603] We're creating work.

[604] You're welcome.

[605] Bah -Bah -Bah, hospital.

[606] All right, here's where it gets awful.

[607] So Shasta tells investigators that the night of her abduction, her mother had called her into the living room from the bedroom where she had been sleeping and she saw Duncan like the Duncan was like call your kids in here right now she sees him Duncan wearing black gloves and holding a gun he ties her mother's hands with a nylon zip ties as well as the mother's fiance and her brother slayed then he takes this Dylan shasta and her her little brother Dylan out of the house they get inside his stolen rental car and then and then Duncan goes back into the house.

[608] She hears her mother's fiancé scream and then sees her injured older brother staggering away from the entrance to the home.

[609] But she didn't witness Duncan bludgeoning the three of them to death.

[610] He bludgeoned them to death?

[611] Tied them up and bludgeon them.

[612] Fuck.

[613] When Chastas asked where her brother Dylan is, she said, in heaven, there may be some evidence down in the low, low forest because that's where we were.

[614] What does that mean?

[615] On July 4th, 2005, Dylan's remains were discovered at a campsite near St. Regis, Montana.

[616] He'd been sexually assaulted and then killed with a shot in the head, after which his body had been burned, and Shasta fucking witness the whole thing.

[617] Oh, God.

[618] I know.

[619] Duncan had also filmed Dylan's final hours, and Duncan can be audibly heard in the video, which was shown to the fucking jury.

[620] Can you fucking imagine how much therapy you need after that?

[621] Oh, my God.

[622] saying, the devil likes to watch children suffer and cry.

[623] Shast is also repeatedly tortured and sexually assaulted, but supposedly he falls in love with her and decides to return her home, which is why they were back in her town.

[624] What a monster.

[625] Duncan later confesses that he had entered the home while the family slept with the express intention of murdering the parents and kidnapping the children.

[626] He claims he wanted, he wanted, quote, revenge against society for sending him to prison for 20 years for sexually assaulting a younger boy who was 14 years old when he himself was only 16 year old.

[627] So he wants revenge against society for being sent to prison for sexually assaulting.

[628] For being rapist.

[629] Yep.

[630] Yeah, that's not clear thinking.

[631] No. It's not logical thinking.

[632] You're not taking responsibility for your actions.

[633] You're not fucking.

[634] You're not cool.

[635] You're, Dougson.

[636] You're the devil.

[637] You're the devil's like, dude, calm down.

[638] Fuck.

[639] Can you skip to the part where he gets murdered in jail?

[640] Please tell me. The devil's like, hey man, I hurt fucking corrupt attorneys, not.

[641] Yeah.

[642] Sorry, corrupt attorneys.

[643] Sorry corrupt attorneys.

[644] So he subsequently charged with murdering Dylan as well as the three other family members.

[645] During his incarceration, authorities are able to link Duncan to the disappearance of Anthony Michael Martinez, who was 10 years old when he went, missing on April 4th, 97 while he was playing with friends in the front yard of his home in Beaumont, California.

[646] A man approached the group, asked for help finding a missing kitten while holding out a photo of a cat, as well as a dollar bill, and two of the children ran away in fear, and the kidnapper pulls a knife out, grabs Anthony and flees in a white car with red pinstripes and no hug caps.

[647] After two weeks' search, Martinez's body is found nude and partially decomposed in Indio on April 19th, 97.

[648] He had been sexually assaulted and bound with duct tape.

[649] A composite sketch is made of the suspect and a partial fingerprint but the case goes cold.

[650] And then when he is incarcerated, Riverside authorities are able to match the partial fingerprint taken to Duncan.

[651] and so they officially announced his connection.

[652] He pleased guilty in 2011.

[653] The plea agreement carries a mandatory life sentence, although he won't get the death penalty for it in California because he pleased guilty.

[654] Duncan also confessed to two additional murders.

[655] Samizio White, 11, and her sister Carmen Cubias, 9, who were last seen leaving a Seattle, Washington Hotel, to get cigarettes at a nearby restaurant for an older brother.

[656] Oh, no. I know, babies.

[657] Police said that they don't know whether the girls ran away or victims of foul play at the time.

[658] But of course, a fucking nine -year -old is running away and an 11 -year -old.

[659] Then on July 696, that happened on July 696.

[660] Then their remains were found on February 10th, 1998, in Bothel, Washington, by a transient living in an abandoned barn.

[661] All three murders occurred while Duncan was on parole.

[662] Of those murders, Duncan has only been charged in the California case.

[663] In all, he's been convicted in Ohio for kidnapping and murder of the three victims for which he was giving six life sentences.

[664] In federal court, for kidnapping Shasta and Dylan, and for murdering Dylan, he was given three death sentences and three life sentences.

[665] And in the state of California, for kidnapping, murdering Anthony Martinez, for which he was given two life sentences.

[666] Is he still in jail?

[667] He's still in jail.

[668] He will be forever.

[669] Let me double check really quickly if he's still alive.

[670] Yeah, because how, unless they are keeping him in solitary confinement?

[671] Has he not been killed?

[672] How has he not been killed by inmates?

[673] That's like he is exactly the example of a jailhouse justice type of situation.

[674] Look, want to see his picture?

[675] No. Oh, God.

[676] Stephen, you better watch that mustache because we are looking at a serious...

[677] I'm doubting the mustache.

[678] Yeah.

[679] Although murderina's got me a mustache switchblade cone.

[680] Oh, yeah.

[681] Okay.

[682] So I can keep it in check.

[683] Okay.

[684] Yes, please do.

[685] Yeah, he's the worst face.

[686] Not only is he still alive, he's blogging from prison.

[687] Now I'm the one usually.

[688] you're the one that's like this.

[689] No, I'm the one that's like somebody needs to fucking kill that guy.

[690] That is, he should not be on the planet anymore.

[691] He cannot be around human beings.

[692] He kills children.

[693] He hurts children on purpose.

[694] He videotapes hurting children.

[695] Get the fuck off the planet.

[696] You're no good anymore.

[697] No. You're fucking rotten.

[698] Fuck.

[699] Well, so he blog, he has a blog called The Fifth Nail.

[700] And it's something about how like Jesus was Christ.

[701] with four nails and this is the fifth nail some bullshit.

[702] Oh, I know all about that fifth nail.

[703] Do you?

[704] Um, and so he can't blog from prison, but he, he blogs about his day -to -day life as a sex offender, but so he denies being a pedophile, but so he sends his blog post in writing to people on the outside who post it in, like there's some people out there doing his fucking bidding.

[705] Probably pedophiles, right?

[706] Probably other pedophiles.

[707] Yeah.

[708] Perhaps.

[709] Well, Well, either way, you should, you're no good downright fucking piece of shit.

[710] It's so funny.

[711] That case, that little girl and the thing she went through, people, I feel like anybody that was, like, conscious around that time, paid attention to anything around that time.

[712] It also because it was early enough so that there wasn't, like, nowadays, there's so much awful shit going on, as we know, everywhere all the time.

[713] uh they're closing down nature they're closing down schools they're closing down protecting people who need protection they're closing it all down it's insanity it happens every day but there was a time and i used to think about it a lot in the 90s where we had it we were just like fat cats there was nothing going on it was before we got into that first war um clinton it was clinton no he was the clinton days it may have been later than that but but still it was like there wasn't so when something like that came on the news it was heart stopping it was like you've got to be kidding me how did this happen yeah no i mean even even in the just the last couple years we hear we hear about every single one of them especially when you're into fucking true crime yeah i'm just constantly reading about these things and we're just constantly looking at but back then it was harder to find those things and the detail that you can get now yeah photos and so it was just this glimpse that you would get.

[714] Yeah, horrible.

[715] Yeah.

[716] God, that's, yeah.

[717] Sorry, so that's, um.

[718] No, I mean, that's like, that was a big one.

[719] And it's interesting to know that that was a person that started doing that.

[720] That was an internally and intensely damaged individual that like started pretty bad.

[721] And it got way, way, way worse.

[722] Right.

[723] Somewhere along the way, you know, there could have been intervention or just something different could have happened.

[724] I think it's when eventually, hopefully, people start taking rape as a crime more seriously, as a real, as something that this isn't something to have your hands slapped and walked away from, and that a lot of people that do it, do it over and over again and intend to do it over and over again.

[725] That's a serious problem with a person.

[726] And it's not, I feel like there's a lot of people who just think rape is someone who wants to have sex really bad.

[727] a rapist as someone who's just looking for sex.

[728] If you think about it in a way which it actually is, which is this fucking violent insane mind who needs to overpower and hurt and fucking ruin someone, that is a criminal who should not be allowed on the streets after three years of good behavior in prison.

[729] And how often do they escalate?

[730] I mean, how many stories do we tell that start off with a person doing it?

[731] He raped a girl in his town and then da -da -da, and then he moved to this town, suddenly he's murdering the people he's raping.

[732] I mean, it's the story every time.

[733] Yeah.

[734] I feel like it's going to catch up slowly as long as we don't keep, well, I mean, I feel like the more people who talk about it, the more people who have conversations, but also the more, like the Brock Turner.

[735] I was just thinking, that's what I was thinking about.

[736] Yeah, that, uh, the swimmer from Stanford who got released because, you know, nobody wanted to mess up his swimming career and he raped a girl.

[737] so violently who I think he drugged I don't know if that ever came out like to be the truth but that's the theory She was incapacitated She was incapacitated When she told the story It's like she's at a party And all of a sudden she's waking up Behind a dumpster And the two men who witnessed it Were so upset The two men Grown men were crying And so upset of what they witnessed That's not something that you go Okay well don't do this anymore Yeah.

[738] Who would do that in the first?

[739] It's like we have to start treating it and talking about it as the extremely violent criminal act that it is.

[740] And also, stop fucking using the phrase sexual assault.

[741] I was thinking of the same thing.

[742] If it's rapemisms.

[743] If it's rape, it's rape.

[744] Some people say like, you know, sexual assault, it's not sex.

[745] Don't use the word sex when it's just rape.

[746] Not, yeah.

[747] Unconsensual.

[748] Sex is, non -consensual sex is rape.

[749] Is rape.

[750] That's right.

[751] Sex is between two consenting adults.

[752] So don't fucking call it that.

[753] Also, date rape is rape.

[754] Date rape is rape.

[755] That doesn't mean it's nice and chill rape.

[756] Nope.

[757] It's rape.

[758] Also, there's, it wasn't a pre -agreement that that agreement got broken, which is what date rape alludes to.

[759] That's bullshit.

[760] You went on a date.

[761] What did you?

[762] Yeah.

[763] Someone got upset.

[764] No, this person is a rapist.

[765] Yeah.

[766] You don't rape people unless you're a rapist.

[767] Don't rape people.

[768] Oh, man. I mean, I think we're coming down pretty hard on an anti -rape state.

[769] I think it's clear that we're anti -rape.

[770] And we're saying it to our listeners as if we have to convince them of any.

[771] You guys, stop it.

[772] Stop it.

[773] We're like, yes to fucking crocheted nipple belts, no to rape.

[774] Do you know where we stand?

[775] We're going to tell you how it works.

[776] There's no gray area.

[777] Oh, man. You ready for yours?

[778] Yeah.

[779] This is going to be a bit of a left turn.

[780] I'm not going to say it's fun.

[781] People died.

[782] it's an upturned it's an uptick from it's uh it's not the most upsetting for me that really and i'm not i swear i'm not criticizing you it really that's the one that gets me where i i almost try not to think about it because it's just awful i almost didn't do it but i'm like but there are people i mean that's these are the stories people when you talk about them it's important yeah because also because she's a survivor and she survived and she has a story to tell which i think she's now coming out and telling it i bet she is yeah i bet what I bet she's doing amazing work, and that's, you know.

[783] There's no, I mean, just to think of the nightmare she went through.

[784] Yeah.

[785] As a survivor, she has to be a very strong person to be able to move forward, not on, but move forward in her life.

[786] Yep.

[787] I also think you do certain things in your life, and there are no amount of Jesus' nails that can help you after a while.

[788] Just, just not that anybody that needs to hear that message is listening, but it's just a personal theory I have.

[789] You can pick up that Bible all you want.

[790] I mean, like, that's the whole idea of Christianity is like, yeah, now you're forgiven.

[791] But you can't just fucking kill children.

[792] What are we doing?

[793] God doesn't want you anymore.

[794] Right?

[795] Is that what you're saying?

[796] I mean, I don't know.

[797] I'm okay with that.

[798] What's the, where can we start talking about?

[799] Will anything ever settle down enough we can talk about?

[800] actual rehabilitation what works what how do you how do you fix people that do terrible things well what you have to admit right now is that we don't know yeah and so why are we why are we saying oh he's rehabilitated we can let him out we don't know the brain and we don't know psychology like psychology is a pretty new fucking thing why are we saying that we know well enough to let someone out on good behavior that they're rehabilitated yeah stop fucking pretending that you, that you went to fucking college for eight years and became, you know, you read all the textbooks so you know when someone is fucking rehabilitated.

[801] Why are we letting that happen?

[802] Are you saying they pretended they went to college and they really did?

[803] I'm saying that people who, I mean, or went to, what's that college that you can go to online?

[804] Oh, Phoenix University.

[805] Yeah.

[806] You go to Phoenix University.

[807] You get a fucking degree in criminal justice.

[808] How about that we put child rapists on the great Pan Pacific garbage patch that's about five miles wide and it's made of garbage, it's floating in the sea.

[809] They're garbage people.

[810] You go out there and you take that act out into the garbage patch.

[811] Goodbye.

[812] That's all right.

[813] If you can swim back to shore then you get off on whatever.

[814] Garbage behavior.

[815] Yeah.

[816] Garbage behavior gets garbage patches.

[817] That's right.

[818] This is not Helping.

[819] Anyways, Stephen, cut that entire.

[820] Stephen.

[821] Cut my story.

[822] All right.

[823] I'm going to talk to you about a man named Rabbi Fred Newlander.

[824] Do you know him?

[825] No. Okay.

[826] So I got most of this from an old city confidential, which if you haven't seen city confidential, the oldest ones were narrated by a man, a great actor named Paul Winfield.

[827] And Paul Winfield narrated the show like he had, uh, a margarita in one hand he is so chilled out it feels like when he tells you the story and the writing is so hilariously brilliant they tell you the story so they it's called city confidential so they tell you all about the city first so they're like it was a bedroom community exactly Jerry Hill Pennsylvania was a sleepy book and then it becomes they do it thematically so since because this was about the rabbi it was all these biblical references it was like but evil did live here and it's like and he's kind of talking like that he's a little slurry it's like innuendoy but yeah but like such obvious innuendoes that it's not yeah i love that show it's the best show i used to watch it so much i don't know why forensic files is on constantly and that show isn't because forensic files is like adorable because it's so dated you know it's adorable but city confidential is legitimately good city confidential is a beautifully put together beautifully do this show.

[828] Good stories, too.

[829] Great stories.

[830] They get great people.

[831] Here's what I love.

[832] The hometown reporters.

[833] Because they're the ones that know the whole story.

[834] Angels and this is their big fucking moment to be on TV.

[835] And to be like, I know, I wrote about, he called me on the phone.

[836] I'm the one.

[837] I'm the one.

[838] It's me, Pam.

[839] Listen, I went to fucking Phoenix University Journalism School and I'm finally fucking getting my comeuppance.

[840] But a lot of these people like, it's true.

[841] It's like these, this one woman who was a reporter for, it was like the Cherry Hill Gazette or whatever the hell.

[842] I should have written it down.

[843] It's on YouTube.

[844] Everybody go watch it.

[845] It's so good.

[846] But these are journalists.

[847] These are people who are like, this is what the town's like.

[848] This is what we're used to.

[849] It's so cool because they give you the sense of what is going on in the town.

[850] And they're always such like, they're such earnest people.

[851] Like you trust them.

[852] They know what they're talking about.

[853] It's not this bullshit over here where it's like, I think it was in Pennsylvania.

[854] They're like, they know for a fact.

[855] everything they say is a fact yeah yeah and oh you mean over here like sitting on the couch right now i was pointing to myself oh yeah i thought you meant like the la time i was like oh no because we're in l a like the west coast oh i get uh no no okay so yes if you want if you want to get the full story the city confidential is on there um uh also just i do recommend getting onto a youtube like enter some true crime something because they just have a million old shows on youtube that are true crime stories that just they don't this one doesn't have the title city confidential it just says fred newlander oh yeah then you click it so i think somebody was avoiding oh getting in trouble so you can still watch them somehow please do support city confidential it doesn't exist anymore okay so cherry hill pennsylvania is a suburb of philly it's middle upper middle class and it might sound familiar to you because it had the first indoor mall on the east coast the cherry hill mall okay uh no okay um so that's exciting for them i'm happy for them right people i mean it used to be like because um the uh highway 70 used to go from philly to cherry hill and so basically that road was always full of traffic because people worked in the city and lived in the suburbs and so they started building you know um stores along the road because everyone was always on the road.

[856] That's smart.

[857] That's what led to the first indoor mall.

[858] I never thought of that being like if there's a first one.

[859] Yeah.

[860] It's just like then they were.

[861] Yeah.

[862] And then people would just go like the whole city was kind of built around and the community was in the mall.

[863] One of these reporters said like if you want to know the community or see what the community is like, you go to the mall.

[864] Wow.

[865] I love a mall.

[866] Dude.

[867] Dude.

[868] Yeah.

[869] So, okay.

[870] So there's like 70 ,000 residents and probably a third.

[871] of them are Jewish.

[872] So there's, you know, these reporters talk a lot about how much there really is a lot of, um, uh, diversity in this town.

[873] And, uh, so one of the more popular temples in Cherry Hill is called Um, Kour Shalom.

[874] And, uh, it was founded by Rabbi Fred Newlander in 1974.

[875] He was an assistant rabbi at a different temple, but he didn't want to be the assistant anymore.

[876] And he felt like his take on what he wanted to talk about and preach about, please correct me on any of these.

[877] I'm going to use a lot of Catholic wording for very strictly Jewish things, and I apologize in advance.

[878] But he basically wanted his congregation and his leadership to be a little bit more updated and a little different.

[879] So he starts this new temple.

[880] And by the mid -90s, he's got 4 ,000 people going to it.

[881] So it's like one of the bigger ones in this city.

[882] yeah um he had met his wife carroll in college she was the daughter of a very well -to -do garment um garment businessman i guess um garment manufacturer like a garment um textile um textile guy you know textiles and clothing merchant i guess okay um but she was rich like she grew up in a mansion in long island and with butlers and stuff holy shit i love that part and they talked about like a rolling a rolling lawn down to the ocean or whatever like I thought of having butler's just like hanging out makes me I would feel guilty so uncomfortable yeah we're like someone silent standing there ready to do your bidding pointing at Stephen I want to point out that yeah I would hate it to have like a helper just someone that just does whatever you ask them to and you don't you only pay them every five months touche I stand corrected I didn't I meant that about myself much as you were correct um stephen's crying uh stephen get back in your hole step put your tuxedo back on um okay so while at the same time as fred is um you know starting up his basically his own religious community in cherry hill carol notices that they're with all the uh festivities that go on and the religious holidays and stuff like that there's no kosher bakery.

[883] So she opens Cherry Hill's first kosher bakery.

[884] It was called the classic cake company.

[885] And she starts immediately, right?

[886] She sees a niche that needs to be filled.

[887] She does it.

[888] She's not going to fucking rest on her dad's textile laurels.

[889] Fuck no. And she's not going to rest on her rabbi husband's good time.

[890] No. She's going to be like, excuse me, I went to a party and yet again I couldn't get a slice of kosher cake.

[891] Can I please?

[892] God damn it Is there any buttercream in this fucking that hasn't touched bacon?

[893] That's kosher, right?

[894] When it doesn't get bacon rubbed on it.

[895] So she starts this cake company and it does great.

[896] So by the early 90s, the Newlanders are killing it.

[897] Their son Matthew is a medical student, but he's also part -time EMT.

[898] Their daughter, Rebecca, lived in Philly.

[899] I don't know anything about her, but I want to say great things.

[900] I mean, she lived in Philly.

[901] She got out of Cherry Hill.

[902] She made it.

[903] She wasn't no slump.

[904] No, no way.

[905] And she still got along with her family because her and her mom talked on the phone all the time.

[906] So the only worry was this.

[907] Carol at the classic cake company made, the take was between five and 20 grand a day.

[908] Holy shit.

[909] So it's a middle -aged mom type who's driving home.

[910] with a shit ton of cash every night so Fred starts to be concerned about that and he tells Carol we're I'm going to look into this because I think we need better security yeah the house and for you and we need to kind of like address this okay um so in uh Fred says he knows a guy so what had happened was in 1992 a man named Len Janoff had come to um the temple um because someone in his AA group recommended that he go speak to Rabbi Fred Newmire, because at the time Len had just gotten divorced, he was totally broke, he was a raging alcoholic doing very, like really bad in general.

[911] And also people say he was kind of a bit of a liar.

[912] So he had kind of a, he had some personality issues and some work to do.

[913] And when he went to go talk to Rabbi Fred Newmire, they got along great.

[914] And Fred said, come to this temple.

[915] You don't have to worry about paying anything.

[916] Like, we want you here, you're welcome.

[917] And he really made a place for him there.

[918] And they both smoked at the time, so they would sneak off and smoke together because they think rabbis might, maybe they're not supposed to smoke, or it's frowned upon or something.

[919] He would sneak away with his friend and they would go smoke and talk.

[920] And it turned out that Len had a lot to say.

[921] He had been a Vietnam vet, And then, according to him, he worked for the CIA and the FBI and special forces.

[922] Nobody, if you actually have done that, you don't say it.

[923] That's exactly what someone said in City Confidential.

[924] Shut up.

[925] Swear to God.

[926] I think his own friend, there was another guy that was this classic, like, because this thing was shot in, what, 1995, probably?

[927] So there's some amazing, like, amazing colored blazers.

[928] And there's some frosted tips.

[929] But his friend said the exact same thing.

[930] People who worked in the CIA do not tell you stories about when they used to work at the CIA.

[931] Yeah.

[932] But part of Len's reason for drinking so much is because he'd been in the shit and seen the shit.

[933] Okay.

[934] So no one's going to say anything about it.

[935] Okay.

[936] So on Tuesday nights, Carol, as at the classic cake company, has her, it's her manager's meeting night.

[937] And so she stays at work until eight.

[938] um so that night november 1st uh 1994 is a tuesday and fred comes home at six o 'clock and he brings a pizza home for him and matthew to have for dinner because they know carol's not going to be there and then uh matthew goes for his shift being an emt at 630 oh no do i know where this is going you might um so then fred goes back to the temple because uh carol's not going to be there so he goes back to the temple he pops in on the assistant rabbi's um judaism class and he pops in on the choir practice and he's just kind of hanging out of the temple i don't know what he's doing um when carol comes home at eight o 'clock uh no one's home and she's talking on the phone to her daughter rebecca and while they're on the phone she says to her daughter oh the bathroom the bathroom man's here again and she's like what are you talking about and then carroll looks at explains that a man had dropped by to deliver something for Fred, the father, and instead of just handing the thing to her, he asked if he could use the bathroom.

[939] And so he came in and used the bathroom.

[940] Oh, no. And Rebecca was very upset about that and was like, I don't like that at all.

[941] Don't let him in.

[942] And she said, no, he's fine.

[943] He's this schlubby guy.

[944] He was kind of like, you know, he's nothing to worry about, basically, is what she said.

[945] And then they get off the phone.

[946] And she says he's a friend of your father's, so don't worry about it.

[947] In 920, Fred comes home from the temple and no one's home.

[948] And then when he gets inside the doorway more, he looks in the living room and it's white carpet, white furniture, like almost in a completely white room, and it's covered in blood.

[949] There's blood everywhere and Carol is laying in the middle of the living room.

[950] Dead.

[951] He calls 911.

[952] And when he calls 911, he sounds really upset and flustered.

[953] And at one point, he says to the dispatcher or the 911 operator, should I touch her?

[954] He asks that.

[955] So, and I thought about that after because I was like, well, that's kind of a weird point to make.

[956] And then I thought, well, that's that thing where if I walked into this apartment to come and record and you were laying in the middle of the floor, right, bloody I would run over to you and be like George are you okay and touch you a bunch without asking anybody about it you wouldn't think to yourself oh I don't want to contaminate this crime scene right or just I'm going to hang back and hopefully she's okay um so that that was noted basically yeah um and then I thought about that because so his so as he's on the phone call he says you have to tell that you have to tell them my son is an EMT they can't send him here and so like the word goes out but it didn't matter because he was like the third group that arrived so by the time address yes but but he wasn't on that call or that run or whatever so by the time he did arrive there had already been police and another ambulance or whatever he tries to run inside he has to get physically restrained from running inside.

[957] And then he looks over and sees his father just standing in the driveway, just kind of staring.

[958] Oh, my God.

[959] And he notices that there's no blood on his father at all.

[960] There's not a drop of anything on his father.

[961] And then he asks, and the rabbi didn't say last rights over her.

[962] Huh.

[963] He didn't say the prayer.

[964] Like, there are things they were saying that they would assume he would have done as a rabbi.

[965] Right.

[966] With a dead person.

[967] Now, who knows?

[968] Because it's his wife.

[969] Sure.

[970] So he might have just been in total shock and, like, wandered out.

[971] Fair.

[972] But when police were exiting the house coming in and out, he never asked anybody what's going on, what happened to her.

[973] He never said a word.

[974] He was just standing there very dispassionately staring.

[975] And if you found me and I was stabbed to death, another thing that would go through your mind is, is the killer still in the house?

[976] Yes.

[977] You know what I mean?

[978] Yeah.

[979] Like, to not think that.

[980] How long ago did that?

[981] this happened?

[982] Right.

[983] Who did it?

[984] What is happening?

[985] Who did this?

[986] Why?

[987] Are they still here?

[988] Yeah.

[989] I think that's a natural fucking...

[990] Fuck yes.

[991] That'd be the scariest thing.

[992] So he doesn't even think about that.

[993] No. That's bad.

[994] Like, that's a bad sign.

[995] Yes.

[996] And also, I did hear a bit of his 911 call.

[997] And it's just, I just hate so much when it sounds like people are fake.

[998] I hate fake crying a lot.

[999] What does he sound like?

[1000] He is just, it's like a lot of that.

[1001] But it's like, I just, I just love good acting.

[1002] And it's offensive.

[1003] And it's offensive.

[1004] me when people are like oh this will pass yeah this is how people act when they're upset and everyone else is so stupid and i'm so smart that they'll never know that this is fucking fake yeah of course they'll buy it so good i'm so good and so believable on these decisions i'm about to make about what a real person who has emotions right like who wouldn't murder his wife yeah oh my god okay so okay it says go to paper okay so of course immediately he becomes the focus of the investigation because he's the husband and because these weird, weird behavior.

[1005] Yeah.

[1006] They start talking to, but his alibi is airtight, as we know.

[1007] Well, yeah.

[1008] The choir teacher son and the assistant rabbi son.

[1009] He asked everyone what time it was.

[1010] For real, and to the point where the cops were immediate, like, that's a super airtight alibi that we don't buy for one second.

[1011] Well, and they start asking people at the temple, it was the first time in four years he'd ever gone into the Judaism class.

[1012] Oh, my God.

[1013] And the choir leader was a known to hate interruptions.

[1014] So no one went into choir practice while it was going on.

[1015] It was, and Fred himself knew that about him or her.

[1016] Do some due diligence and then come in like once in the fucking weeks beforehand.

[1017] I'm telling you how to fucking kill someone, but.

[1018] But it's the thing of, if you don't know instinctually how natural people act, how people act in a natural way, you're not going to be able to recreate it.

[1019] If you're a sociopath, Like this guy absolutely is.

[1020] And you think everyone fucking thinks you're on the level.

[1021] Yeah, you think everyone's dumb.

[1022] And also clearly he's got a bit of a god complex.

[1023] Sure.

[1024] He's like, I need my own temple.

[1025] Yeah.

[1026] So, okay.

[1027] Then they go to the phone records.

[1028] And they realize that the rabbi had been calling this one number.

[1029] And they go and look at it.

[1030] And it's a local Philadelphia radio talk show host.

[1031] and yes and we'd have to find her name um shit sorry this is a weird turn i wasn't expected did you not see this one coming oh i didn't see that we were going to go into talk radio no i did not yeah we don't talk about that in podcasting uh neither did anybody else especially the fans of elaine sorsini's of philadelphia radio she's a radio personality um so basically they do all the math they see that he's he called her he called her the day after the murder and said uh i really like hang in there i really want to be with you do they fucking what's that they fucking oh they straight up fucking yeah so they find out all these calls are going to her house this is a woman who the reason they met is because two years earlier he presided over her husband's funeral.

[1032] Uh -huh, girl.

[1033] Uh -uh.

[1034] Yes, that's right.

[1035] And they started having an affair, they say roughly two months later.

[1036] Oh, no. Bonnie ain't cold.

[1037] He moved right in.

[1038] Yep.

[1039] You don't fuck someone whose husband you said the cottage for.

[1040] You know what I mean?

[1041] Right.

[1042] That's what I always say.

[1043] That's what you, that's your, you have that tattooed.

[1044] Right.

[1045] uh okay so oh they i'm sorry i just got i just got up to my own piece of paper they began she admitted that they started having an affair 10 days no her husband's funeral 10 days oh no after her husband's funeral no yes um and then two years later she gives him an ultimatum she says i don't want to sneak around with you anymore you say you want to leave your wife leave your wife and if you don't do it by the end of 1994, this is over, and I'm starting afresh in the new year.

[1046] And he's like, how about instead?

[1047] Well, he, so that was in October of 1994, and the murder happens in November.

[1048] Oh, my God.

[1049] He's told her, I'll have this all sorted out by your birthday, which was in December.

[1050] And she's like, you know, I mean break up.

[1051] If I sort it out, do you mean you're going to end their relation?

[1052] No, no, that's kind of what I mean.

[1053] A horrible murder?

[1054] Oh, well, that's not what I was talking about at all.

[1055] So, yeah, so he was making a lot of calls to her.

[1056] So the police, all the evidence they have is circumstantial.

[1057] So even though everyone's like that stuff about his airtight alibi, it's still an airtight alibi.

[1058] Just like everyone's like, this is, this stinks to heaven, but it doesn't matter.

[1059] They can't get any hard evidence until the cops tell.

[1060] Elaine, that Fred Newlander was also having affairs with three other women at the temple besides her.

[1061] Yeah.

[1062] And that's when she's like, guess what?

[1063] Hey, how about?

[1064] Guess what everybody?

[1065] And she spills it.

[1066] Then...

[1067] What a shitty thing, though, for her not to...

[1068] If she hadn't known that, she would have never told anyone.

[1069] You know what I mean?

[1070] Yeah.

[1071] I mean, I bet she needed to believe that he didn't do it or that it was all...

[1072] Like, I'm sure he was telling her, of course, the husband's...

[1073] suspected we're always suspected hang in there with me well she wasn't a fucking murderina then because any murderino would have been like get the fuck away from me yeah that's that's he also told her um i told you to trust me when god closes the door he opens a window you're like what did you fart or something get the fuck out of here it's like you're the hackiest rabbi i've ever heard you're supposed to be really eloquent and have like good sayings yeah that's rent a serious man uh okay movie so In May of 2000, Len Janoff goes to a local...

[1074] Oh, no, sorry, that way it was...

[1075] But you were telling me what she was like.

[1076] So she finds out that...

[1077] Elaine?

[1078] Yeah.

[1079] So Elaine finds out that he...

[1080] The cops are like, he's having all these other affairs, and she's like, oh, fine, then blah, blah, blah, and then none of this is as I believe it to be.

[1081] But that wasn't until way later.

[1082] I believe it was...

[1083] She finally tells them that in 1996.

[1084] But that's still circumstantial.

[1085] That could be like the lady that's mad because the guy didn't pick her.

[1086] Right.

[1087] Totally.

[1088] When it finally cracks is when Len Janoff goes to a local reporter and starts telling her about how he was told that basically rabbi Fred Newlander, who, sorry, in the meantime, Len Janoff becomes the rabbi's spokesperson.

[1089] person.

[1090] So anytime there's news cameras, anytime there's reporters on the front lawn, the rabbi sends Len Genoff out to talk to them.

[1091] And this guy is just a bullshitter.

[1092] Oh my God.

[1093] And apparently he was, he would call people, he would give quotes.

[1094] He was like way out in front of the story.

[1095] And he loved to hand out a private investigation, um, business card.

[1096] Like he, and security business card.

[1097] The whole thing made me think of, the Sherry Pippini guy that's like, oh, I'll handle this.

[1098] I'll be the mouthpiece.

[1099] Like, what are you doing here?

[1100] Another fucking big -headed sociopath.

[1101] Yes.

[1102] And so they work on that guy for a long time.

[1103] He eventually tells a reporter that the rabbi hired him for $30 ,000 to kill his wife.

[1104] He spills it.

[1105] Oh, my God.

[1106] And so he tells the story that him and his friend, Paul Daniels, who he met an AA, and Paul Daniels was 20 years old when this happened.

[1107] And he, every picture of him, he looks dumber than the last picture.

[1108] Like, every picture, his mouth is open, and it looks like he can't believe he's where he is.

[1109] It's super sad.

[1110] And I know it's wrong to be like, oh, that poor terrible criminal that murdered this woman.

[1111] Right.

[1112] But it really looks like he got looped into something that he kind of didn't know what was going on.

[1113] He could be talked into anything.

[1114] Yes.

[1115] but I mean erase that because still what happened was they knock on the door that night at the house Carol answers the door recognizes the bathroom man and they come in she's what happens she led them into the house so for whatever they said to her the door she was like come on in you guys she turns around well because she trusts them because it's her husband's friend I know and she turns around to walk in and one of them hits her on the back of the head with a pipe and she goes down they crack her head open that she goes down in the living room and then and the Paul Daniels guy says he did the one hit and then Len Janoff went in and just beat her to death with this pipe that's the story that guy gives um the and they in the in the city confidential the report this one reporter describes it where it's like it's a white living room and there's just blood everywhere.

[1116] Like it's so disturbingly awful because it's like you kill a person that's just like, yeah, there's blood spatter there's whatever.

[1117] It's everywhere.

[1118] The word bludgeoned.

[1119] It's such a horrible word.

[1120] Terrible violent dad.

[1121] So finally they get, the cops get enough evidence so they can indict Fred Neumire for this, Newlander, sorry, for this death.

[1122] so they go they have the first trial and in that trial all this stuff comes out so it's just like all this gossip from the temple all the stuff they it's just all they had no idea that their rabbi was this much of a douchebag and it all comes out in trial and um the they find out that the daughter like you know the mother had just said to the daughter it's the bathroom yeah then they find out that Len Janoff had been there the week before on the Tuesday night when she was supposed to be there by herself.

[1123] But he got cold feet because when he went in, Fred Newlander told him it needed to look like a robbery.

[1124] They needed to be stealing that cake company money.

[1125] But when he walked in, he couldn't see her purse.

[1126] And since he knew he wouldn't be able to make it look like a robbery, he got cold feet, asked to use the bathroom and then left.

[1127] Oh my God.

[1128] So that's why he's the bathroom man?

[1129] That's why he's the bathroom man. He was there.

[1130] He was supposed to kill her that night and basically punked out.

[1131] Holy shit.

[1132] Yeah.

[1133] So they get it all in trial and the jury's deadlocked and it's declared a mistrial.

[1134] No. Yes.

[1135] And this is five years, more than five years of police work and lawyers work and everything.

[1136] It's declared a mistrial and when it's declared a mistrial, Fred Newlander smiled and the prosecuting attorney saw him smile and the next morning went down and filed for a retrial immediately.

[1137] Wow.

[1138] It's just like we are doing this again right now.

[1139] So when the new trial starts don't eat that paper.

[1140] When the new trial starts, this time his children testify for the prosecution.

[1141] Wow.

[1142] So Rebecca and Matthew now come and tell the story and the tone is really different and he's like basically it's very sad.

[1143] The son is just like my father was watching this whole thing and had no emotions whatsoever and like his mother was murdered and his father didn't care.

[1144] Oh my God.

[1145] So awful.

[1146] Anyway, at the end of the second trial in 2002 he's declared guilty and he does this speech at the end that is the lamest and it's like that thing we've seen before where they just talk about themselves and how hard it is for them.

[1147] and what a and he actually at one point at the end of this kind of rambling speech that kind of makes no sense and he's quoting Bible verse of course uh and then he goes I and I alone know that I am innocent and then it's just like well listen to what you just said yeah basically like you just said you're super fucking guilty right right not being persecuted no you're guilty yeah um but then after that Carol's brother Edward stands up And he goes, in the past eight years, you've acted in a manner so repulsive that words cannot begin to describe the person that you've become.

[1148] You're a murderer, a liar, a coward, a cheat.

[1149] You've dishonored Carol, yourself, your children, this court, the rabbinit, your congregation, and Judaism.

[1150] And I just, as I'm watching City Confidential, I'm just like pausing and writing down every word Edward says because I was like, that's fucking bad.

[1151] that's powerful like you're basically like do whatever you think you're doing here it's not you're humiliating yourself yeah god doesn't like you anymore that's right you blew it you blew it uh so now he's serving a life sentence paul daniels and um len janoff were both uh given 23 years for their parts in the crime wow that's it which is kind of insane that they're the ones that swung the fucking pipe.

[1152] But it was because it was his plan, Fred's plan.

[1153] It's like intention.

[1154] Your intention wasn't to kill your wife.

[1155] It was to get money for someone else.

[1156] And also, Land Janoff was promised that he was going to get, he was going to go be able to go join the Mossad, the Israeli army.

[1157] Oh.

[1158] It's called the Missa, right?

[1159] That's the Israeli army.

[1160] The Massad, or it might be Israeli special forces.

[1161] I don't know.

[1162] But basically, he believed that he was going to go from there to then go be like a super soldier, which just shows that that guy was pretty nuts.

[1163] He was released from jail in 2014, and Paul Daniels was released in October of 2014.

[1164] Are you serious?

[1165] Oh, yeah.

[1166] Wait, let me see if I missed anything, because I wish I could show you how insane these pieces of paper look of my handwriting.

[1167] I'm handwriting city confidential.

[1168] I don't know how you can do that.

[1169] It's kind of fun to like watch TV and then be like, this is important and rewriting it down.

[1170] But I didn't, I went out of order.

[1171] Both trials were televised on court TV.

[1172] Oh.

[1173] Yeah.

[1174] I've never even heard of it.

[1175] I know.

[1176] Isn't that crazy?

[1177] And this is, so this guy, Arthur J. Magida wrote a book called the rabbi and the hitman about this case.

[1178] And this is just one last story from it that I thought was pretty good.

[1179] So a congregant who was a doctor had been friends with Newlander for 20 years and traditionally went to the rabbi's house for their annual breaking of the fast after Yomk War.

[1180] And when Newlander was charged with this crime before the trials, the physician told Newlander he wasn't going to keep their tradition.

[1181] And the rabbi wanted to talk it over.

[1182] And so he went to his friend's house and sitting in the living room, that doctor told Newlander, why he believed that he had had his wife killed, that Newlander never behaved like a grieving widower, that when the physician planned to offer a reward for the information about the murder, Newlander asked for the money for himself.

[1183] Newlander asked his friend to provide a letter explaining that medication he was taking for a heart problem would have caused him to fail his lie detector test.

[1184] What?

[1185] And after, and he had a motive because with his wife gone, he didn't have to worry about the mess of divorce and he could go on with.

[1186] his lady talk show host, radio talk show host.

[1187] So Newlander tries to defend himself saying he loved his wife and then the doctor says, Fred, no matter what you say, I can't help but like you, because you're charming and you're beguiling, but I think you're a psychopath and a murderer.

[1188] And Newlander stands up to leave, walks a few steps away, then turns back and says, well, nobody's perfect.

[1189] Ew.

[1190] Fucking creep.

[1191] Uh -huh.

[1192] Can you imagine that's your response?

[1193] Still in your house.

[1194] And that's what he says to, I think you killed your wife, so I don't want to hang out with you anymore.

[1195] And you're a psychopath.

[1196] You're a psychopath.

[1197] Like if someone called me a psychopath, it would ruin me. I'd be like, am I?

[1198] No, I'm not.

[1199] I know.

[1200] That'd be very hurtful.

[1201] Yeah, most people would.

[1202] What?

[1203] Also, a doctor.

[1204] A doctor.

[1205] A doctor.

[1206] Yeah, you can't argue with it.

[1207] And he didn't get his degree from Phoenix.

[1208] No, I bet you that was a real cherry hill dog.

[1209] he got his associates from Phoenix but then he went he actually got a cosmetology degree because he was interested in stuff like that then he was like no I like medicine yeah I don't like cutting hair I like cutting people yeah wow yeah that's some fucked up shit that's the rabbi and actually there a couple people who suggested this one um but julian mccullough's friend craig is the one who told me to do it ooh assuming either he listens to the podcast or he just like suggesting things to people.

[1210] But it was because Craig lives in Cherry Hills, from Cherry Hills.

[1211] Wow.

[1212] Yeah.

[1213] That's fun.

[1214] Yeah.

[1215] I mean, no, that's not what I meant.

[1216] It's not fun at all.

[1217] That's a fucked up terrible thing.

[1218] That was a good that was a good story though.

[1219] Okay, thanks.

[1220] Good.

[1221] Because I really did have it written on nine different pieces of paper.

[1222] I'm glad you went after me though, too.

[1223] Because.

[1224] Yes.

[1225] So we can leave on us slightly.

[1226] Oh, yeah, we should talk about a positive.

[1227] a thing we like a thing that made us happy well I would say let's see mine I have been on the couch a lot since we've got back from Portland I mean it takes a lot out of you it really does but then also once I get on the couch I have a real hard time getting back off like it's just so much easier to stay there it is what are you watching Modern family Oh yeah I T -vode modern family and it is just such a it's such a well -written show.

[1228] It's such a good show.

[1229] The characters are so watchable and likable.

[1230] I'm so in love with Cam of Mitchell and Cam, the two gay guys.

[1231] It's, he's just the best character.

[1232] It's like, but all of them, there are just so many good jokes.

[1233] And that's the thing is it's, TV writing is very hard.

[1234] And they have been delivering like a plus grade comedy for like 10 years.

[1235] I mean, all I did was enter it, and immediately I'd like 15 episodes of Modern Family.

[1236] And I got it from my sister.

[1237] I will give her full credit because she's been obsessed with it since the moment it came out.

[1238] And that's why I have a song where I reference Modern Family, where I say in the song, if one more person tells me to watch Modern Family, blah, blah, blah.

[1239] And a lot of people are like, oh, you hate that show.

[1240] It's like, no, no, no, I'm just taking that from a real anecdote of me and my sister, like, every time I talk to my sister on the phone.

[1241] She would tell me. to watch it.

[1242] I watched it in the beginning and then I stopped.

[1243] It's still good.

[1244] It's amazing.

[1245] Yeah.

[1246] It's just, it's just perfectly written.

[1247] Yeah.

[1248] Um, that and I've been having great lift driver conversations like, oh, that's nice, because I always get scared, or I always get scared that it's like, I had a nightmare one the other day and I'm just a nightmare person.

[1249] A nightmare conversationist, which means he was just talking at me and I was getting sick from it.

[1250] And you go doot, do.

[1251] Yeah.

[1252] Earpugs.

[1253] Yeah.

[1254] That's awesome.

[1255] That's a sweet one.

[1256] Yeah, there's, it's been pretty pleasant, but I really, I have to get a car.

[1257] It's ridiculous.

[1258] I'm acting like Miss Daisy, but, um, it's nice sometimes to have like a pleasant conversation where you laugh about how bad drivers in L .A. are.

[1259] Yeah.

[1260] Yeah.

[1261] What's yours?

[1262] Um, well, I guess, uh, I just finished watching it yesterday, but, um, big little lies.

[1263] Oh, yeah.

[1264] Which I didn't think I would like.

[1265] I know.

[1266] never read the book, even though Audible was always like, you might like this, you might like this.

[1267] And I'm like, no, I won't.

[1268] You know, like a brat.

[1269] Sure.

[1270] And even though, yeah, I don't like that.

[1271] And so from Oprah's Book Club, that's the kind of, you know, and then, of course, it's fucking amazing.

[1272] Yeah.

[1273] And the show is so good.

[1274] And it was all these female characters that were, that their whole lives weren't based on, they had these whole lives around their husbands and families and they were central characters instead of being the backup singers to their you know and it was just like about them it was about them and their co -star in life was their partner and it was just kind of cool and the acting was so fucking good and shyly woodley what's her name chaline she's just like she's such a great actor she's so great in it and it was it was really fun it was fucked up and good and there's a murder and it's a murder mystery oh okay i did I didn't know that.

[1275] Because I tried to watch the first, I swear to God, I don't think I got four minutes in.

[1276] And the first exchange two women had talking to each other, the tones of voice they were using made me turn my TV off.

[1277] Because it was like, oh, hi, Arlene.

[1278] Nice to see you.

[1279] Or whatever.

[1280] Where I was like, they all come out as like cunty cunts.

[1281] Oh, okay.

[1282] And then it's like, but there's shit going on underneath the surface.

[1283] Oh, I'm going back.

[1284] And it's a, the whole thing is a murder mystery.

[1285] Oh, shit.

[1286] And it's good.

[1287] And everyone is having these.

[1288] the Nicole Kidman and Alexander Sarsgaard relationship was amazing.

[1289] Cool.

[1290] Like, you just need to watch it to see the two of them.

[1291] Nicole Gibman takes a lot of shit, but she's an incredible actress.

[1292] They're going to win all the awards.

[1293] Her and Reese Witherspoon, I think, are going to win it all.

[1294] I sent my friend a GIF the other day of, remember when she was clapping at the Oscars?

[1295] Yes.

[1296] Someone made that, and I can't figure out if someone did this to the GIF or if this is really what it looked like.

[1297] but it looks like her fingers are this like it she looks like she has alien fingers as she's clapping i think that's real is it what her fans really look like i don't know i saw that too and i i think it's real we were laugh i was laughing anyway when i found it because she it looks it looks like flippers yeah it looks like her nails are wet and she's trying not to let them near each other but also that she's from mars yeah that aside that's me giving her shit when i say she takes a lot of shit but she for example when she started acting in fucking those Australian you know I'm the pretty girl at the prep school right she has been an incredible did you ever see dead calm or she's on the boat oh my god if you want to see like an amazing murder like it's a not horror I guess it'd be suspense or something action but it's her and Sam Neal I think and somebody else they're on a boat it's so good and she is like Like, it's when she had her kinky, curly hair.

[1298] And she had her freckles, and she was probably 20.

[1299] Oh, my God.

[1300] She's so beyond gorgeous.

[1301] Yeah.

[1302] She's gorgeous.

[1303] Yeah.

[1304] And she still is to this day.

[1305] They all play these wealthy, these wealthy women from Monterey, and everyone has these secrets underneath kind of a thing.

[1306] And it's, there's some, you know, it's good.

[1307] I'm going back.

[1308] It's fine.

[1309] This is a, you need a, I was bummed that I didn't binge watch it because I had a wait a week to watch the new one.

[1310] So get in there.

[1311] Go binge.

[1312] Yeah.

[1313] Also, Adam Scott's in it, who I adore.

[1314] Adam Scott's in it.

[1315] He plays a really great character.

[1316] It's, he's fun.

[1317] Okay, good.

[1318] That's a good rack.

[1319] Yeah.

[1320] For sure.

[1321] So that made me happy this week.

[1322] Anything else we need to?

[1323] Oh, I think that we said last episode was like 60.

[1324] I said it was like 67 and it was 62 or something.

[1325] I was off by a lot.

[1326] What's the numbers?

[1327] Sid, this is 63.

[1328] But it didn't last week.

[1329] I say it was like 60, 67.

[1330] I mean, who cares.

[1331] Yeah, we're up there.

[1332] We're past 50.

[1333] It's not like someone was setting their watch, but like, oh, shit, it's already, I said I was going to do this thing in my life before 67 happened.

[1334] And now, I have to, fuck.

[1335] They're like, you know what?

[1336] I'm going to stop smoking around episode 67.

[1337] Yeah.

[1338] And if I haven't, then I am going to start smoking.

[1339] Someone, we made someone start smoking.

[1340] Where's that?

[1341] Elvis.

[1342] Well, you guys, thank you for listening.

[1343] tell a friend.

[1344] Guys, thank you for everything.

[1345] You are our light and our honor, honor system and heart and soul.

[1346] An honor system, mostly.

[1347] And mostly you're our honor system.

[1348] If you take a penny, you leave a penny in our hearts.

[1349] You've left a penny.

[1350] You left a penny in my heart.

[1351] Don't, I'll put a nickel in yours.

[1352] You're going to double down.

[1353] well thanks for listening i don't need to i don't know step thank you for listening thank you for everything oh does mimi want to come and make her debut maybe she does i mean her triple her triple appearance yeah third times a charm mimi stay sexy everybody and don't get murdered mimi bye bye mimi want cookie Mimi Mimi Mimi cute she's the nicole kidman of cats she is Elvis, here he is.

[1354] Want a cookie?