Natasha Lyonne

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dan Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by Mrs. Mouse.

[3] Hello.

[4] Long torso.

[5] Hello.

[6] Teeny torso.

[7] Teeny tors.

[8] T .T. Great guest on today.

[9] Yeah.

[10] What a voice.

[11] Ironic.

[12] I love her voice.

[13] It's so good.

[14] Natasha Leone.

[15] Natasha Leone is an actor, a writer, a director, and a producer.

[16] She, of course, wrote in his starring in, and I don't know.

[17] probably does have directs probably i don't know everything everything russian doll orange is the new black i fell in low with her in slums of beverly hills that got me she's been working since she was so small cold children she has a new series out now that is fantastic with our favorite currently writer -director ryan johnson ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding big brick looper looper she is the star of a show that ryan Johnson adds his brilliant touch too called Poker Face on Peacock.

[18] It's so good.

[19] I'm so excited for her that she has this show.

[20] It's tremendous.

[21] So please enjoy Natasha Leone.

[22] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and add free right now.

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[25] I like your outfit a lot.

[26] You do?

[27] I'm probably older than you.

[28] I'm doing the least to get the most in this moment.

[29] It's cute.

[30] Thank you.

[31] The least to get the most.

[32] And so you're betting heavily on the socks.

[33] And by the way, similarly, my socks are the attention grabber here.

[34] Yeah.

[35] I'm going to project a bit.

[36] Yes, please do.

[37] We relished in our outcastness, right?

[38] As we were younger.

[39] And we want to keep it going.

[40] But we also want to be aware of that it's a bad look at a certain age.

[41] Like, come on.

[42] You're way too old to be trying to do this.

[43] Does that cross your mind?

[44] Less so.

[45] I think you're more traditional than I am.

[46] Oh, tell me. Well, first of all, I went to your old house.

[47] Yes.

[48] Because there I was thinking that we were on our way to the haunted hayride.

[49] So I was like, oh, I've been here.

[50] I'll just go to the haunted hayride location.

[51] Where only Dax knows how to back out into fucking moving traffic.

[52] That was honestly one of the most impressive things I've ever seen in my life.

[53] You did a backout that was so profound and you made it look so easy.

[54] Everless?

[55] We only know each other topically.

[56] Let's be honest.

[57] I know, and that's just what's so funny.

[58] We've hung out.

[59] We spent an entire evening together in a very heightened situation, haunted hayride.

[60] A haunted hayride, double date.

[61] Oh.

[62] Is that making sense now?

[63] Okay, I thought you were talking about the hayride, your hayride.

[64] And I was like, I don't remember meeting Natasha at that.

[65] You have your own?

[66] Very confusing.

[67] I have since we went on that.

[68] I've started my own hay ride in this neighborhood.

[69] Since then?

[70] Yes.

[71] Was that the moment that you were like?

[72] I think it was.

[73] I'm like, I have.

[74] Yes, I have trailers.

[75] I can get hay.

[76] Why aren't I hosting this?

[77] Tex, where are you from?

[78] Detroit.

[79] Okay.

[80] Are you surprised by that or does it make sense?

[81] I'm sort of delighted.

[82] Okay.

[83] I don't picture Detroit is a place with a ton of hay, but what do I know?

[84] Okay, so right where the suburbs turn from suburbs to Hillbilly Cornfield.

[85] Why don't you do that in half?

[86] Yeah, just give us a second.

[87] Everybody calm down.

[88] Read the room, Rob.

[89] Natasha's like just barely easing into the pool here.

[90] baby, I'm just waking up.

[91] You know, last night, I presented at the critics' choice, your favorite award show.

[92] Oh, God, you can't keep me away from there.

[93] And, but then by this morning, being that I'm high functioning, low functioning, you know, I still live my life like a scumbag, but I have a lot of responsibilities.

[94] Yes, yes.

[95] So, you know, I woke up and all I've done so far is a ton of writing, and then I threw on these little Gucci by Adidas, slippers and blazer, and got in the car and went to your old house and now here we are.

[96] So yeah, I'm not ready for all this.

[97] Right, right.

[98] And I know that.

[99] That's why I paused.

[100] I'm still inside.

[101] I know.

[102] But I have already listened to Kendrick Lamar at great length.

[103] So I'm not fully participating in my day yet and I'm sort of seeing this as a day off with an interlude.

[104] I think you're going to find that this is both restorative.

[105] Okay.

[106] Okay.

[107] You're going to be feeling replenished.

[108] Great.

[109] And bullish about your future.

[110] Oh, thank God.

[111] We're going to have fellowship.

[112] Uh -huh.

[113] We're going to connect.

[114] Okay.

[115] You're going to teach me something.

[116] I'm going to accidentally teach you something.

[117] Monica's going to teach us both something.

[118] Monica.

[119] Bring it.

[120] Okay.

[121] I want to rewind because we're blasting through.

[122] Yeah, too many things.

[123] The hay ride when I made the departure from the driveway.

[124] Are you friends with Leslie Arvin?

[125] I feel like you would have to be.

[126] Yes.

[127] So the other person, which is fantastic, that's also been impressed about my driving and vocal about it is Leslie.

[128] That makes sense.

[129] So what I'm putting together is that since so few people in New York, drive when you get around someone that can really whip that motherfucker in and out of spots it's hot y 'all that shit so fucking tight let me tell you something because leslie still brings it up on the regular honestly i just want you to know i know you have a body of work i think of you as a guy that can back out into that moving traffic i would far prefer that yeah and i'm like oh yeah i'll go to dax's house because of that movie did he thinks that's why people like him and you just confirmed that.

[130] So, uh -oh.

[131] I'll tell you another thing.

[132] It made me think, oh, he must be a good father.

[133] Wow.

[134] Because if you were my dad, and it made me think, oh, this is a good husband.

[135] Because if you were the father of my children, I would be like, daddy's got it.

[136] It's one of my favorite thing about straight men.

[137] I know everybody always thinks I'm gay.

[138] And, you know, I get around.

[139] Everything's on the table in the right context.

[140] I mean, who cares?

[141] Isn't it 2023?

[142] I thought all that was over.

[143] But I would just say that there are things I really enjoy about straight men.

[144] And one of the things is just, I remember Fred and I were in the backseat.

[145] And I was like, oh, this is a big move.

[146] And I thought this is an out -of -towner move.

[147] This is somebody who's had a whole life before they got out to showbiz.

[148] They don't teach you how to drive like that in showbiz.

[149] It's really true.

[150] I'm so happy because most of my efforts in life are aimed at getting that singular reaction I got from you.

[151] And then I can talk, Natasha, it's only come like twice in a decade.

[152] And it's just me and Leslie.

[153] It's really rewardless.

[154] I'm still performing for my neighbors in Michigan, but they're not here.

[155] No one's watching.

[156] I'm a tree falling in the forest all the time.

[157] But you saw it and you appreciate it.

[158] And then ultimate compliment, you'd feel safe if I were the father of your brood.

[159] Yeah.

[160] And that's all I'm looking for at this point.

[161] Yeah.

[162] And it was also, I was like, oh, I see.

[163] He sort of is in recovery.

[164] Ultimately, on some of I think that's what street smarts are, right?

[165] Like you're sort of assessing a person's entire personhood off of like a quick snippet.

[166] And that's how you're saying, can I go into this tenement alley, whatever.

[167] Am I going to come out or not?

[168] And not everybody looks like what they seem.

[169] It's usually obviously the inverse, you know, the people you have to be suspicious of.

[170] Yeah, the dude who's coming up glad handing you on the corner, probably be careful.

[171] It's the dude who doesn't really want to be bothered by you who you kind of want help from.

[172] And more than that, different people have different.

[173] skills and gifts.

[174] So you're like, oh, this is a getaway man. Oh, my God.

[175] Like, I don't know that.

[176] I got to go.

[177] No, no, no, no. I don't know that I would.

[178] There are certain things in that moment I thought I wouldn't trust this man with.

[179] My virginity.

[180] You know, the list, the list was long.

[181] No, you are.

[182] He is a very safe presence.

[183] But there were other things you said that I was like, oh, the downside is I thought, oh, maybe he thinks he's an alpha or something.

[184] Oh, 100%.

[185] And otherwise, it comes with.

[186] Like, I might get in a screaming match with somebody somewhere.

[187] Yeah, or more that while you might be good in a sort of survivalist situation, you might also get in a fight with the wrong person, zombie leader on the other side, think you are being cute.

[188] Yeah.

[189] And next thing you know, now we're all done.

[190] Because they have powers that you can't match, and that's okay.

[191] Who has powers I can't match?

[192] The zombies!

[193] Okay, okay.

[194] See, uh -oh, see it's already half.

[195] Yeah, that's right.

[196] But so, you know what I mean?

[197] Everything is as many, you know this.

[198] assets and defects and back again.

[199] So listen, Natasha, you're bull's eyeing me. But 18 years in the program.

[200] So I can get out of those sticky situations that you'd be right to be nervous I find myself in.

[201] Over the years, I've learned how to navigate out of them.

[202] When I start sheriffing the highway or the arterial roads here in Los Phelis, I then forced myself habitually to stare at someone's license plate and say the numbers out loud.

[203] Interesting.

[204] So I'm distracted from that.

[205] I have like some tools in place.

[206] I don't know why I'm pitching myself to be the father of your children.

[207] I know.

[208] I've already sailed.

[209] I swear to God, I think something's happened in honestly the last six months where men are constantly trying to tell me they should be the father of my children.

[210] Really?

[211] It's super weird.

[212] Yeah.

[213] I think it must be like biological or something.

[214] They might be feeling your fertility.

[215] Arguably, that should be on the wane, but it seems to be on the rise.

[216] Wow.

[217] I think maybe I have like a delayed clock or something.

[218] That's exciting.

[219] You look super fertile to me. As I sit here, yeah, I look at you right now, and I think, two pumps and out, and this girl's frightened.

[220] It's weird.

[221] My seat is spread.

[222] I think for some reason, maybe I'm just like, it's probably just that they see me as like, oh, like a wacky redhead who now is ready to settle.

[223] I think they think they can finally settle me, which, you know, Monica, they can't.

[224] Of course not.

[225] So I think they're starting to be like, we could get married, ha, ha, ha, ha.

[226] And like, I could put a baby in you, ha, ha.

[227] And I'm like, oh, this is interesting.

[228] I feel like I'm clearly saying, honey, this is a one -night stand baby.

[229] Yeah.

[230] Right, right, right.

[231] And they just won't hear me. That's why.

[232] They won't hear me. That's why, Natasha, you know that.

[233] You know that.

[234] They won't hear me. I got my phone is blowing the fuck up.

[235] We're intrinsically attracted to what we can't have.

[236] Exactly.

[237] If you immediately put out on the table that this is a one -night saying, now I want marriage and a commitment.

[238] If you wanted a marriage and commitment, I want to get the fuck out of there.

[239] It's funny, though.

[240] Why are we like that?

[241] It's a real problem.

[242] But you've had long term.

[243] You've had multiple long -term.

[244] term relationships.

[245] Yeah, I guess historically, I guess I've been something of a monogamist, but now as time runs out, I'm recessing.

[246] How old are you?

[247] I'm 43 now.

[248] Okay.

[249] So very young.

[250] You think so?

[251] Yeah.

[252] I don't know.

[253] It sort of depends on if they, you know, come up with any sort of life extension and stuff.

[254] We were just talking about this.

[255] Yeah, I just read a very promising article in National Geographic.

[256] It looks like we're going to be living to 150 to 200, you and I. Yeah, well, so that's mostly what I spend my time reading, obviously, but you know, you You're talking to the Russian doll over here.

[257] So, you know, that's obviously my main areas of interest is physics and futurism.

[258] Oh, okay, great.

[259] Yes, dear.

[260] No, we're in too many places.

[261] I got to tie up a couple knots.

[262] Okay.

[263] We hung out socially.

[264] We don't know each other other than I know that you are sober or we're sober or some kind of in recovery situation.

[265] That always fast tracks me to like somebody.

[266] Okay.

[267] Does it fast track you?

[268] First of all, I always think it's weird to talk about in any sort of public way.

[269] I think it's interesting, obviously, that people do.

[270] Obviously, I've done Mark Marin, who's still love.

[271] lovely and everything.

[272] And of course, in a situation like mine, she's a public junkie.

[273] So just by virtue of me suddenly being high functioning and doing all these things, it sends a very clear message that it's sort of a life that's been turned around.

[274] And I do do a lot of things we all do in order to keep that.

[275] But I do have sort of a mixed bag about being sort of a public figure talking about those things in detail only because it's meant to be a private thing.

[276] In a weird way, I hope that my life is sort of the evidence of that.

[277] I guess I always try to speak around it, right?

[278] Like, obviously, Rush and all season one is doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results.

[279] Season two is a much more almost like adult children of alcoholics.

[280] In other words, now you've cleaned up your life and sort of what they talk about of you're driving 100 miles an hour and you're throwing things in the back seat and you slam on the brakes and now you're clean.

[281] And it all comes slamming forward.

[282] That becomes the real work, as you know, as somebody with decades of time here, it's now what are you going to do about it?

[283] I think I go out of my way to be a little bit circuitous and probably more eccentric than I actually am in an effort to sort of create a sense of sort of subterfuge.

[284] I don't want to ever be the reason that somebody would or would not think that it's a good idea or a bad idea for them to do something.

[285] There are aspects of fame that are sort of charming, how nice that we're talented and we're in the arts and that we get to know each other and that we have a community is a beautiful thing.

[286] Janelle Monet's speech last night at the critic's choice is a fucking thing of beauty.

[287] Being a misfit and an outsider and sort of, you know, owning yourself in all areas.

[288] is kind of like having integrity to that is something I identify with greatly.

[289] My inner child fucking loves her inner child and wants to hang out without knowing her well.

[290] At least that's what it seems like.

[291] Can I just ask those specifically?

[292] Because the common reservations about talking about being either sober or specifically in a 12 -step program are A, within the rules of the 12 -step program, you're supposed to remain anonymous at the level of television and press.

[293] The other one is, I'm going to appoint myself spokesperson for this.

[294] And then when I fail, it'll look like the thing I was preaching about.

[295] doesn't work, which is potentially the case I was in when I relapse.

[296] Like, okay, this thing he loves and talks about all the time.

[297] Now he's relapsed, so maybe it doesn't work.

[298] But I'm just in front of it saying, like, no, it didn't stop working.

[299] I stopped working the thing.

[300] And then I relapse.

[301] That's kind of how that worked.

[302] When did you relapse?

[303] Two and a half years ago.

[304] Was it fun?

[305] That's a great question.

[306] Okay.

[307] My thing was cocaine and alcohol.

[308] Not shocked.

[309] Yeah, you're right.

[310] So again, my - and spit his dip.

[311] She was not shocked to discover that homie enjoyed a little bit of cocaine.

[312] Homey enjoyed.

[313] Well, those are the fun ones, right?

[314] Yes.

[315] So, as you know, cocaine addicts and alcoholics, there's like a certain degree of unmanageability.

[316] That's just kind of built into it.

[317] And I knew what that looked like.

[318] Opeas was very confusing.

[319] That wasn't my thing.

[320] I had a bunch of surgeries.

[321] I was on them seemingly with reason.

[322] And then I was like, okay, this is totally manageable, this thing.

[323] And now I'm going to take it on my own and go down this road.

[324] What kind of like fentanyl or Vicodin?

[325] Oxies.

[326] And then the effort put into making sure they didn't have fentanyl in them.

[327] Do you see the latest one, the fucking crocodile zombie one?

[328] What's this?

[329] It's harsh.

[330] It's almost like a tranquilizer, but it's not ketamine.

[331] There's something in it that I guess is mixing with fentanyl or whatever the fuck they're cutting it with.

[332] And then it's a lot of amputations are happening.

[333] Like sort of creating a lot of rotting.

[334] Oh.

[335] What's so heavy?

[336] is there's so much empathy I have in all directions of this stuff.

[337] People just need relief from their minds.

[338] And then the deeper in you are, you're buying into this lie that you're going to get the relief.

[339] But then as you're fucking up your life, it's getting darker and darker.

[340] So you're really just having an inner monologue that's like, so you think you have negative self -talking, self -criticizing mind that's out to get me when you're clean until you are in a state of actually high and fucking up your life.

[341] And then there's just no way out, no matter how high you get.

[342] I had a friend that used to be like, oh, if people can't get high anymore, they should just do more drugs.

[343] But as somebody who knows firsthand, it's like a point comes with, there's not enough.

[344] I mean, you're just like sort of passed out and waking up and trying to score.

[345] Anyway, so it's a long way of saying that when I see something like flesh eating fucking, who knows what, I don't see it as something that's like so far away.

[346] I couldn't even imagine what's wrong with these people.

[347] It's just when you're out there, anything will do.

[348] I can't speak for anyone else, but I know me personally, my life is always.

[349] As a human, me, I'm always ascending or descending.

[350] There's no stopped inertia.

[351] There's no me at like homeostasis that's just kind of existing.

[352] So yeah, the flesh eating bacteria, you're just on a path, and the past's just getting lower and lower and lower.

[353] God knows where it ends up.

[354] But to your point, the worst moment is while I'm doing all the stuff and I have the original feeling still.

[355] I mean, it's so sad.

[356] Thinking of you in a relapse situation, it's like you have this beautiful life.

[357] You know, you're this great person.

[358] And you spend a life in a recovery sort of state.

[359] And I'm super vocal about it.

[360] Because I was like, okay, press and film written in 1938, I can understand the intention of the claim originally.

[361] And that's no longer the thing.

[362] It's not like you find out someone's a recovering alcoholic and banish them from society.

[363] A, that's gone.

[364] B, they were totally afraid that all the alcoholics in town would show up at your door if you broke your anonymity.

[365] Like, there had other intentions, just like certain constitutional amendments had intentions.

[366] I can see what the spirit of these were.

[367] I'm super vocal that I don't represent it.

[368] I often don't work it correctly.

[369] It's no statement of its effectiveness, whether I'm in or out.

[370] Like, I just try to be as honest about it.

[371] But it's such an enormous part of my life.

[372] It would be impossible for me to be talking for six hours a week on this thing and keeping that behind some door.

[373] It's preposterous.

[374] I would feel so fraudulent to not acknowledge how daily and hourly present it is in my life recovery.

[375] And then coming off of that was its own thing to have to admit.

[376] Think of you getting that moment of relief like that fucking Oxi, Dax being like, ah, this is who I am.

[377] That's right.

[378] You know, that is back.

[379] Remembering who I was.

[380] And just being like, I'm going to walk around.

[381] I'm going to tinker.

[382] We're going to get stuff done.

[383] We have ideas.

[384] But I'm just a little bit took the edge off of thinking this whole thing is so real.

[385] I'm back in the memory that life is just an illusion and here we are to play.

[386] And then the idea that some weeks later, this other thing, hit, it's just so heavy.

[387] It's dark.

[388] Well, okay, yes.

[389] Of the many things I didn't want to bring into the equation when I'm pursuing this relapses, there's the initial, like, just no one can know.

[390] And that becomes the objective and what I'm going to measure the success of this experiment by.

[391] If no one knows, no one in my family, no one at work, no one nowhere knows, then things are groovy, refusing to even ask the question, how will I feel as the one person who knows?

[392] I left that part out of the equation.

[393] It just became about being able to be secret about it and ignoring the fact that I will be having all the feelings that come with ultimately being addicted to something.

[394] How did you get out?

[395] I was trying to quit.

[396] I was at such a level where I was like, oh, my God, I'm fucked.

[397] I'm going to have a full on detox.

[398] How much were you doing?

[399] By 2 p .m. I was doing 8 .30s, sometimes more, sometimes less, maybe 12.

[400] I had to shut it down by 2 or I couldn't sleep.

[401] So then I started taking edibles so that I could sleep and just daily I'm needing more.

[402] I'm like, I got a step down.

[403] I have X amount to step down.

[404] I made a chart.

[405] I'm going to somehow land this plane.

[406] By day three, I've already broken the step down program.

[407] I'm starting to detox visibly.

[408] I'm faking that I'm having my psoriotic arthritis is flared up.

[409] That's why I'm so physically fucked.

[410] And then I'm upholding this lie for a few days.

[411] and then Monica and I were driving back from an interview where I was like barely holding it together, sweating bullets.

[412] And then in the car, I started crying and told Monica this is what's happening.

[413] And then immediately told Kristen.

[414] How old are you?

[415] I just turned 48 two weeks ago.

[416] How old are you, Monica?

[417] 35.

[418] Wow.

[419] Yeah.

[420] In zero experience with an addict prior.

[421] Prior.

[422] Prior, yeah.

[423] Yeah.

[424] Yeah, they're weird, huh?

[425] Oh, I love addicts.

[426] Oh, they're great.

[427] I do too.

[428] Yeah.

[429] Great.

[430] You know, all you're trying to do is.

[431] be like, hey, listen, we live and we die, right?

[432] That's a constant riddle, but you want me to go about having this entire life and pretending I'm forgetting that at all times.

[433] To me, it's the most normal response in the world.

[434] They actually created a sort of a third option.

[435] Do you know what I mean?

[436] Right, right, right.

[437] To not take it is insane.

[438] And to not want to have music sound better and just fucking the whole thing.

[439] I love addicts.

[440] I love them so much.

[441] I mean, I love sex addicts, drug addicts.

[442] alcoholics, co -dependence or so, but it's such a normal response to the fact that there's no control over the fact that you die.

[443] Like, what is the point of setting up this whole life that they tell you is so important, so crucial.

[444] The stakes have never been higher.

[445] And it's like, literally the stakes do not exist.

[446] It's just fucked.

[447] So it makes so much sense to be like, I just want to sit around and sort of like listen to the music and the absurdity of the thing a little bit cleaner or sort of be here and there at the same time.

[448] To me, also, I have a few other addicts in my life now.

[449] She's collecting them now.

[450] Yeah.

[451] Good job, Monica.

[452] I put them in my pocket.

[453] Yeah.

[454] I realized to an extent I had my own addiction to those people.

[455] Oh, interesting.

[456] But I think what's so beautiful about them is they're the most sensitive people I know and feel everything so deeply, which is why I think there's a seeking of help.

[457] And they're assholes.

[458] And I think that that's maybe underrated.

[459] You know what I mean?

[460] Can I add an appeal?

[461] So you've just mentioned some really good ones.

[462] which are music, maybe not worrying so much about your future and the importance of everything you're doing.

[463] Or at least taking an action about the fact that you really have sort of no control.

[464] You wake up on there and you're like, so now I'm 40 and I'm like in the rat race, how did I fucking get here, you know?

[465] Why do I care?

[466] I bought into the game against my will and mortgages and all this.

[467] And I'm like, what just happened?

[468] But the other thing that I think might sound weird to non -addicts, or maybe it sounds really normal, is I actually love the simplicity of being in an addiction, which is in general, I'm probably too ambitious.

[469] I want to do 10 trillion things.

[470] I know you personally.

[471] I admire you as an artist.

[472] I want to do something with you, right?

[473] That'll be just rattling in the back of my head, as will, 600 other things.

[474] And when you're addicted to something, it really streamlines everything.

[475] Just find out how to keep taking these pills on the slide when no one's watching.

[476] That's really it.

[477] And then everything else is kind of additional.

[478] But there's something about having a singular purpose that I find weirdly kind of comforting.

[479] Makes a ton of sense.

[480] To me, it's pretty crazy that people are just thriving around high as hell.

[481] You mean stone?

[482] Yeah, yeah.

[483] Oh, yeah.

[484] I think everyone in L .A. is stone.

[485] Yeah.

[486] Because I ride a motorcycle, right?

[487] So I'm lane splitting.

[488] Yeah.

[489] And yeah, the windows are down in L .A. And certainly every third car I'm passing, there's fucking weed wafting out of.

[490] It's just evidence that it's so widespread, this sort of need to be like in the world while out of the world.

[491] It's just worth noting that it became so agreed upon that it became legal.

[492] Yeah.

[493] Like, I walk around in New York and I'm just in shock at the idea that people are in jail for this thing that is now being sold on Times Square on the street.

[494] The mine can't process it.

[495] Is it legal now in New York?

[496] I mean, they've got like sort of taco truck weed trucks.

[497] Oh, wow.

[498] It must be.

[499] It must be there.

[500] Stores, yeah.

[501] Yeah.

[502] The amount of, like, energy and time I spent as a teenager, emptying out shampoo bottles to then wrap them in saran wrap to walk through fucking security lanes, terrified, sweating bullets.

[503] I was reading about you and I found your life fascinating, which I didn't know any of it.

[504] Yeah.

[505] No, it's been a whole thing.

[506] Although now I would say I'm less and less interested in my own story all the time.

[507] Oh, yes.

[508] Great.

[509] Also, I guess I've written so much where I've used it so much.

[510] That's what got me so into all this futurism and all these kind of like other trips is there's so much I know nothing about.

[511] One of the troubles of the solipsistic nature of the arts is that we're all pretty interesting, but like we find each of fascinating.

[512] Our cases are fascinating by nature of being artists.

[513] It's examining an interior world and how it relates to the world at large.

[514] So it's very supported in that way.

[515] But then I just think, oh my God, am I going to die knowing zero percent of anything.

[516] But being able to articulate that 0 % so well that it seems like it was enough.

[517] What a waste of a life.

[518] By the time I'm 25, I'm ready, it's over.

[519] It goes quick.

[520] Hard drugs and things people all know.

[521] We don't have to get into it, but I do want people.

[522] No, I don't think people all know.

[523] I just want people to know, like, you're in Alley's downtown on Skid Row.

[524] You're doing it as hard course.

[525] Yeah, I didn't know that.

[526] Right.

[527] You're getting arrested.

[528] You're getting evicted.

[529] I'm a grown ass me. You were already famous.

[530] Yeah, I'm already famous, but there's no cell phones.

[531] Anyway, you can Google it.

[532] And it's all there.

[533] And it's probably all true.

[534] Heart operations.

[535] I mean, this is for real shit.

[536] It's just grown up.

[537] It's just grown up.

[538] But meantime, now I'm like a spin class person, okay?

[539] Right.

[540] For context.

[541] I mean, it's so, it's like.

[542] Men are trying to sire your children.

[543] They want my children.

[544] Yes.

[545] No one was trying to sire your children in 2000.

[546] I got to say some people still were, but you know, baby always did all right.

[547] But my larger point is that, I mean, I was always a troublemaker.

[548] But those crazy years, the hardcore drug use, sort of losing everything was probably like two years or something, three years.

[549] And then what was crazy, though, was it led to five years of totally being a drop out of society, of just reading Thomas Pynchon and being alone.

[550] Because there was no life waiting for me on the other side.

[551] There was no like, oh, thank God, we got Robert Downey Jr. back.

[552] Nobody cared.

[553] You know what I mean?

[554] I was a girl, honey.

[555] So it was of no consequence of them.

[556] And in that sort of total of like five -year stretch where I was just adrift because of drugs or a drift because I was coming back from it, I got so much information in that time that now that that's over 15 years ago, I have sort of a deep desire to kind of re -isolate again and get this sort of like five -year period.

[557] I'm not talking about drugs, but I'm just talking about the amount of reading I got done in that period because a cell phone is only interesting when there's information coming into it to really drop out.

[558] You come back with all these new ideas, meaning sometimes when I see these kids in 28 days, it's like my heart goes out to them because I'm, I'm like, honey, you probably had a fucking real reason for embarking on that journey.

[559] And now you're trying to come back so quick that you haven't had time for this real tectonic plate shifting rearrangement.

[560] I'm so guilty of that.

[561] Even after the re -ups, I'm like, let's heal everything by next Tuesday and be back sprinting with no tolerance for, oh, this might be a couple years in the making.

[562] Who knows what this will be?

[563] Well, because ultimately, leaving sobriety aside for a moment, like the soul probably is saying, like, I need another aspect of life here, buddy.

[564] Okay, so maybe we relate.

[565] I left Detroit, moved here.

[566] I hated it for a few years.

[567] Then what I noticed is I was going home and I was a little less simpatico there.

[568] I'm like, oh, that's weird.

[569] I still hate L .A., but also I've changed enough that this is uncomfortable for me, slowly kind of having Los Angeles totally craft my worldview for some time in getting into show business and hanging out with other people who act and write and direct and all that.

[570] And I thought, oh, that was cool.

[571] I had a whole paradigm shift in my life.

[572] I'm grateful for it.

[573] I'm glad I didn't only experience the point of view from my hometown in Michigan.

[574] And I'm now at an age where I'm like, and now what's the next one?

[575] I'm ready for a next one.

[576] I feel like 20 years in show business was cool.

[577] I saw what this was all about.

[578] And yeah, I'm ready for a whole other thing.

[579] And I'm maybe also ready for the story, as you were just saying.

[580] I'm getting sick of my story.

[581] I'm writing about it an attempt that like, okay, it's now there in print.

[582] You can totally step away from it.

[583] And I have this desire to, yes, try on like a few different perspectives before it's over.

[584] Do you have a similar compulsion?

[585] I identify deeply.

[586] Yeah, I have like this list of these five things or something that I got to write that totally wrap out this sort of Carrie Fisher, Bob Fossey, self -examination routine.

[587] Do you think it's our pride in not being cliche that's driving all this?

[588] Honestly, I think a lot about this too, because it might just be low self -esteem that indicates that there's something wrong with this being my story, that ultimately maybe that third thing is that sort of purpose.

[589] Because I had this wacky childhood and then I ended up taking it out on myself so graphically and then came back from that and now have a point of view around it, maybe that's enough to say, hey, it's not for everybody.

[590] I'm really here for other kids that can't quite see hope or a way out to say it's possible.

[591] Find a way to take care of yourself and look at all of these beautiful offshoots that whatever your version will be, Mine is like a movie about it and some crazy time space TV show about it and I have this beautiful production company with Maya Animal Pictures where now we get to support other creators you know you write a book you do like an Elaine Stritch at Liberty maybe that is okay but hey I'm never going to make San Andreas The Rock movie?

[592] The Rock movie.

[593] It's my favorite film but you know what I mean?

[594] Like why does it also have to be that I'm also an expert in this third area?

[595] But I don't know that it's as simple is that I think it's a genuine curiosity of like, yes, I very much want to have that body of work so I can die and like anybody else, just be like, hey, guys, here's what I saw anthropologically along the way.

[596] And if this is helpful to you, I'm dead now.

[597] So if you're a little weirdo at home, maybe I'll come across some of this stuff and maybe it'll help, maybe it won't.

[598] On a personal level, though, so much of that stuff is the past and now I'm middle age, I have a deep curiosity about the future because it's so.

[599] well examined.

[600] In other words, usually when I'm writing like a season of Russian doll or something, I'm ultimately writing about something that really was my issue five years ago.

[601] And now I'm thinking of it.

[602] Essentially.

[603] Yeah.

[604] Or at very least, I mean, it's like this fucking genius writer's room.

[605] And now I'm even processing it in the making of it.

[606] One of the things I try to bust myself on is, oh, you're great at sharing what you've already processed.

[607] Real bravery would be sharing what you haven't processed.

[608] I do both.

[609] I do try to say, hey, here's the stuff that I think I know about human nature.

[610] Yes, and I've synthesized.

[611] And here's now this other stuff that I think might be an answer to that stuff.

[612] And let's go into this very murky woods together and see if there are any answers there to be had or even any new questions, which is often what's found.

[613] I'd argue that one's scarier because implicit in it is there might be some regret because you haven't figured out what version you're ready to stand by and die for.

[614] Like my take on everything in the past, I'm like, okay, I'll go down on this.

[615] That's a weird way to say it.

[616] Always.

[617] You want to go down.

[618] You want to take a spiritual one.

[619] You really want to get in there.

[620] You're just giving a nice couple of nights.

[621] Yeah.

[622] Warm it up.

[623] You know what I mean?

[624] Don't be too.

[625] Don't be shy.

[626] So quick.

[627] You know, you get in there.

[628] Yeah.

[629] Yeah, I guess when you're letting everything you're currently trying to figure out out there, there's liable to be some regrets where you're like you're going to get it wrong.

[630] Well, you don't.

[631] know yet how that thing has served you.

[632] You know the stuff in the past, so you can at least walk away with, it was bad, but I got X, Y, and Z from it.

[633] I learned from it.

[634] I grew, but if you're in the middle of it, you don't know yet what those things are.

[635] When I'm in the think of it, when I'm like writing, directing, fucking editing with an editor, rationale, I'm so inside of it.

[636] It's almost like a mad conductor that cannot tell that there's anything to do but sing this song.

[637] We've got to play this song.

[638] Do you understand?

[639] Like, I'm so deep in it.

[640] You know, I'd walk on set.

[641] You know, you have a headset, but you also have your fucking lighter leash in the costume and the blazer and, you know, there's budgets and fucking rewriting shit.

[642] But I would, like, walk on to the set.

[643] And you're like, holy shit, I'm actually in the fucking right place.

[644] This is so crazy that it turned out this way.

[645] Nobody else could do this job.

[646] I'm not saying, oh, my God, this show is so great.

[647] This show sucks.

[648] Who cares?

[649] for me in that moment of time, like that is the job that makes sense for me. Now I can sort of have, what was I thinking, putting that in there, that's way too vulnerable.

[650] But in the heat of like the thrill of the kill, we must tell the truth at all costs.

[651] It must go in.

[652] And then it's only like in the aftermath and I'm like, oh, right, I'm kind of like a public figure.

[653] What the fuck was I thinking?

[654] Yeah.

[655] That was insane.

[656] But you have cover fire.

[657] You have the separation of that's a character now.

[658] The bottom line is it's fiction.

[659] Full stop.

[660] I mean, it's a sci -fi.

[661] time travel death loop show.

[662] But for some reason, and I think, honestly, a lot of it is in the DNA of the way we understand the world.

[663] So people cannot, because I've got that accent, because I've got that big hair, because I wear those black clothes, no one person could surely also be just sort of a brain.

[664] It just doesn't track for people.

[665] There's something I think about my particular package that they're charmed by, but they can't genuinely understand that it's anything but pure autobiography, like tracing paper, where I've sort of gone in, not done a lot of work and just sort of come up with this thing as a riff.

[666] I'm like a hardcore New York actor, even just on an acting level, the amount of work that goes into that show or poker face this new show with Ryan to make it seem as if it's an organic extension, which is arguably like a game that Casavetes and Pacino's and all these serious motherfuckas I've been playing for a very, very long time to make it seem seamless.

[667] That is being a good actor.

[668] I just think honest, if I was sort of maybe doing them all with different, like, wigs or something, I think they'd understand it a lot easier.

[669] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[670] What's up, guys?

[671] This is your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[672] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[673] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[674] And I don't mean just friends, I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivico, Fox.

[675] The list goes on.

[676] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[677] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[678] We've all been there.

[679] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers and strange rashes.

[680] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[681] like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[682] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[683] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[684] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[685] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[686] Prime members can listen early and add free on Amazon music.

[687] So your gift is your specificity as a human being.

[688] That's why you're here.

[689] Why do I love Bill Murray?

[690] Because he's so fucking authentically original.

[691] And he's going to be authentically original in every single thing I see in.

[692] And I might be assuming that this is him or whatever the case is.

[693] Obviously, if 10 girls when you're auditioning for Slums of Beverly Hills all say one line, you're just going to going to be very, very memorable out of all 10.

[694] Whether it's the thing I wanted or not, you're sticking out in a lovely way.

[695] Yeah, I mean, but the thing about Bill is to my eye, that's a very serious person.

[696] Usually when you meet people at a certain level, it's not just that they have the talent and then they have the talent to back up the talent.

[697] It's that they take their work very seriously.

[698] So I don't know what his work process is, but I would imagine that he's working quite hard to create the performances that have the nuance of the type of stuff he started doing later in life.

[699] But really quick question, theoretical.

[700] Yeah.

[701] What if he wasn't?

[702] Does it make a difference?

[703] Yeah.

[704] Let's explore that.

[705] Because I was watching he and Letterman about 10 years ago and Letterman said to him during the interview, you may or may not want to admit this or own this, but you started a comedic genre that we're still living in.

[706] Every comedy since you has your fingerprint.

[707] on it.

[708] Are you aware of that?

[709] And how did you do that?

[710] And his answer was, I have a singular goal, which is to remind myself that it'll happen.

[711] And all I got to do is really relax and breathe.

[712] And that's really what I do.

[713] And I was like, that's a liberating thought.

[714] Something I've really sort of tried to steal from him is I do think that what we're responding to with Bill Murray in particular is an ultimate state of relaxation.

[715] I think like Jeff Bridges and Like the dude, Big Lebowski, I tried to steal so much from Jeff Lobowski for poker face, even from Gene Hackman and night moves or something.

[716] Like when they're really in their pocket as these middle -aged dudes, they're just backfoot all the way.

[717] But, you know, Jeff Bridges is so good in that.

[718] He's lazy, but he's funny.

[719] He's working, you know.

[720] Yeah.

[721] I would say that we really respond to that state of relaxation.

[722] But ultimately also, we're undermining what Bill's got to do as a human being and an artist in his day -to -day life to get.

[723] get himself to a place that he can process the world and sort of objects around him.

[724] He has a mastery of himself, it appears, at least in order to get to work in when he hears action, to do what he so consistently does perfectly.

[725] I don't know enough to know if he comes from sort of like a formal school of anything.

[726] I think he's Chicago, Second City.

[727] I think he's grounding UCB level training.

[728] I'll tell you this.

[729] When I'm directing, let's say, I'm so locked and loaded with stories.

[730] and shotless and all this kind of shit that's so, so intense because I'm a girl and for all these reasons.

[731] And inevitably, somebody turns in there like, oh, my God, you're really good at this.

[732] And I have to have this experience where I'm like this motherfucker who's been in this business for 38 years.

[733] And I got to turn to me like, oh, my God, thanks.

[734] It's so deeply odd.

[735] And that's more what I'm talking about.

[736] That you're proficient at this job because you're.

[737] I don't know what.

[738] An actress and a woman and...

[739] I think it's more just like an oddball.

[740] I do think that there is just a real female element to it.

[741] Because you're always going to be, oh, no kidding.

[742] Oh, thanks.

[743] Yeah.

[744] Well, you know, the years they add up.

[745] By the way, there's zero coincidence that you and Polar get along so well.

[746] Yeah.

[747] Oh, my God.

[748] I love Polar.

[749] Yeah, I do too.

[750] She's the greatest.

[751] Yeah.

[752] But very similar.

[753] Shocked by the shock.

[754] Yeah, there's an idea that if you're a woman, you're almost lucky if you're competent.

[755] Like, you got lucky as a woman.

[756] If it's a male, you just expect that.

[757] But if they see a woman doing their job well, it's like, wow, good for you.

[758] I often think also have another thing.

[759] Even as an actor, I'm like, if I walked on the set and I was just Harvey Keitel in the piano, which is basically what I am, I'm about that age, about that height, you know what I mean?

[760] We're like New York guys.

[761] I don't know how to tell you.

[762] the distended six -pack, like a six -pack on top of a beer belly.

[763] I should have to have a pretty six -six -pack, but it's on the inside.

[764] I just think that probably people would naturally let Harvey do his thing, New York actor.

[765] Right, right.

[766] When he does his thing, it's expected.

[767] But when you do your thing, they're surprise?

[768] Yeah, it's a basic, soft, calm, focused respect.

[769] Give this proven male person a little bit of space because they're a professional.

[770] I do find that when you're kind of like a funny lady, there's as, I'm like, hey, good morning.

[771] Oh my God, we're going to have fun today?

[772] And you sort of got a turn and be like, define fun.

[773] I'm here to do my best.

[774] I'm going to do nine pages today.

[775] Do you know what I mean?

[776] But I didn't know that we were going to do it as like, the little lampchop is going to put on her fucking tutu and spin around.

[777] And we're all going to ask each other about our weekends.

[778] I just don't think that would come up.

[779] And then it's almost easier I find to get, that space when I'm directing because things are moving so quickly at least it gives them a defined figurehead and once they have that because they see it going well or efficiently or something now people understand oh okay it's going to be this kind of a thing but you still have to get a few male macho gaff of being like oh so you really know what you want huh?

[780] And you're like yeah crazy huh?

[781] That's crazy but they're excited about it listen these are such fucking baby problems, baby talk, they're not even problems.

[782] In my own life, this has not been really an issue.

[783] I don't know why.

[784] Probably like some sort of a Dennis Hopper attitude so people just in general kind of give me space.

[785] It's just something that I notice here and there in little hidden pockets of innuendo.

[786] What a bummer this thing actually is, that it's still in the battle.

[787] Like I've got a lot of free reign, I think, ultimately, because I'm specific.

[788] But it breaks my heart over and over and the moments that I see the window into just a fully female experience or the fully funny lady experience that it's just crushing.

[789] I don't say this in defense of that at all, more of, I think, just an understanding.

[790] And you alluded to it earlier.

[791] I am inescapably misogynistic.

[792] You can't just flick this fucking switch of however many years of growing up in a system where it's going to disappear.

[793] You can act differently and you can counter it with hopefully of all thoughts and go against the impulse.

[794] But I am always aware of like, it's the water we've been swimming in forever that it's in us to a really deep degree that I don't think anyone really wants to.

[795] Yeah, I mean, I'm just the same way.

[796] That's why I say it's unintentional.

[797] And it's actually with the best intentions of a high little lady, how can I help you have a great day?

[798] I thought that might be by talking about frivolous stuff because you seem like you've made people laugh before.

[799] And you're like, honey, I'm fucking, I have a guy tell I'm barely fucking here.

[800] You know, just like, yeah.

[801] show me some sort of a private area because I got to focus.

[802] And it's like, no problem.

[803] And in that moment, it literally is with the most love.

[804] And I'm a deeply empathetic, sensitive person who more than I'm ever upset, I'm more noticing observationally on a societal level.

[805] Ah, gosh, this is maybe a young woman who, that's her dream.

[806] She might even really look up to me as a figure who's this fucking multi -hyphenate powerhouse.

[807] Holy shit, I want to be like, her and like hey is your puppy coming to set ready to have some fun just because people get nervous and that's the language of women and the language of men it's so weird nobody is doing it on purpose I don't think but yeah maybe a handful of real assholes but yeah in general we're all just kind of like the gaffer is just trying to say hey little lady you seem like a smart one that's all he's trying to say in his best language you seem like a fucking cool director and I'm inspired that's what you I'm very impressed by you yeah because we all want to be impressive to everyone but it's just It's funny that also when we talk about like the changing landscape, I guess, of any of these things, it's stuff that sort of takes time from the day, from the focus of the stuff of what would it be like to be people who could just interface without all of this historical baggage.

[808] If you didn't have to step over 12 different things in route to doing the thing you wanted to do and make a little space for I'm going to forgive and I understand and of course that and excusing and all this stuff, it's just a time suck, an energy suck.

[809] It's a little bit depleting.

[810] Okay, now I deeply loved going to directing.

[811] My nutshell pitch on it is simply, when you go as an actor and you're there for 12 hours, you're probably doing the thing you want to do maybe 45 minutes of the 12 hours.

[812] Whereas a director, you're there for 12, you're working all 12.

[813] You want 16 hours.

[814] It's so incredible.

[815] I loved it, loved it, loved it.

[816] And then I went to a movie and I remember standing on the mark and asking like, am I green?

[817] And I thought, oh, that's all I got to know today.

[818] Oh, this is kind of liberating enjoying that they have to worry about whether we're getting the day or not or if we're losing this or kicking that scene down the road.

[819] When you go from Russian doll to poker face, are you at all enjoying the freedom of having less to do?

[820] I think my trip in general is that I just try to work with the people I love.

[821] I love Polar.

[822] I love Maya.

[823] We have this company.

[824] It's just fun to get on the phone with her and we're talking business.

[825] Yeah, sure.

[826] You know, that's just two curly -haired little girls who want to hang out and be like, yeah, now it's business talk, okay?

[827] So listen.

[828] Let's transition into the business.

[829] It makes me so happy.

[830] Pokerface, Janica Bravo was my friend.

[831] She showed up to directs the finale.

[832] Corey 70s, my big sister, not even just my friend.

[833] It's like my family at this point.

[834] Clay DeValle, fucking best friend 25 years.

[835] whatever.

[836] And Ryan Johnson, we really enjoy each other.

[837] I love this fucking dude.

[838] You reached out to his wife because you were doing.

[839] Yes, Karina Longworth is his wife.

[840] You know, you must remember this.

[841] So I'm obsessed with that podcast.

[842] Right.

[843] So I call her up to talk to.

[844] I'm so nervous.

[845] We become friends.

[846] And then I think it was like at a book signing for one of her books.

[847] I guess Ryan and I maybe like followed each other on Twitter or something and would do jokes.

[848] But suddenly, we were like on a sofa for an hour laughing and talking about all these old shows from the 70s that we like and movies from the 70s.

[849] I'm obsessed with The Long Goodbye, the Altman movie and Elliot Gould's portrayal of Philip Marlowe, but I really like any Philip Marlowe, obviously that's where oatmeal the cat comes from in Roshinaul is like a direct rip of Elliot Gould's cat in the Longabai.

[850] The next thing I know, he's like, let's grab dinner and talk about this idea for the show, so we do, and we just kept going back and forth, COVID hits.

[851] I'm like rewriting Russian Al, suddenly in a Zoom room, and he finally sends this script.

[852] It's great.

[853] and I'm like, so moved.

[854] You know how it is.

[855] It's like everybody thinks that all we do is sit here and people ask us to work together all the time.

[856] That is not how this business works.

[857] No, no, no. When somebody says and they're at the level like Ryan, who's just this incredible filmmaker and lovely human being, and so funny, I want to make something with you for you.

[858] It's like a love letter, you know?

[859] Yes.

[860] And you're only one of two people he's written for specifically.

[861] Looper, he wrote with Joseph Gordon -Levitt in mind, and then you.

[862] You're the only other person he wrote the pilot with you in mind.

[863] I think it's beyond flattering.

[864] Yeah, it's very moving.

[865] And I just think when I bring up Maya or Amy or Janixa or Chloe or Clea, I'm like, oh, wow, you just became one of those people in my life.

[866] You sort of accidentally fast -tracked there because by giving me this thing and saying, hey, let's go on this long potentially road together.

[867] I'm not actually thinking about even what we're making, how we're making the green mark, not the green mark.

[868] Oh, I'm a director.

[869] I'm just, it's more like art as life as friendship.

[870] Hey, can we just go off somewhere and make something together?

[871] The real apex, in my opinion, is having the freedom and resources and collective appeal that you're able to work with the people you've figured out you love working with.

[872] That's the high watermark for this experience, I think.

[873] So to, yes, love Ryan's work and go, yes, now I want to go experience that.

[874] But, you know, there's eight, one hours.

[875] There's 10 one hours.

[876] Oh, there's 10 one hours.

[877] I cannot wait.

[878] It's so fucking good.

[879] You watched?

[880] Yes, so I watched the first episode last night.

[881] I fucking love it.

[882] And I already was in a panic because I'm like, Kristen's going to have to watch this.

[883] I'm now one episode ahead.

[884] That's going to be its own logistical nightmare.

[885] But it's so good.

[886] And it's so fun.

[887] And part of the thing that you and Ron, were apparently so I read lamenting is how fun the kind of mystery show was like Rockford Files or these other shows where you got a new mystery every single episode and of course the paradigm we've been in now for I guess 12 years or something is serialized TV the entire season's going to add up to one big plot point whereas this is episodic so every episode you're going to be solving a new mystery and your superpower is that you are great at detecting lies which is taking you to bizarre places already your backstory like you were a indomitable poker player that then got banned because you were too good by the way i didn't even know ryan was a part of it when i first watched it i just knew you were in it and i'm watching i'm like oh my god this is beautifully shot there's such a vibe there's such an authentic world happening it starts in Vegas it's so good and i'm so so so hooked And I actually didn't realize how much I was missing episodic anything.

[888] I love the idea of a whole new mystery every single episode.

[889] You're so good.

[890] I cannot wait to watch the rest of them.

[891] If people don't know or remember, Ryan Johnson did Knives Out and Glass Onion, and Brick, yeah.

[892] Star Wars Jedi.

[893] You're nodding.

[894] Oh, I don't think I know enough about Star Wars.

[895] So I was like, I was following, following, followed, lost.

[896] Yeah.

[897] Tell me what the Star Wars movie he made was like, because I didn't see.

[898] But wasn't that the one Adam Driver was in?

[899] He's great.

[900] I'm sure it was great.

[901] And the Star Wars?

[902] None of us have seen it.

[903] He's so fucking.

[904] That's a good acting.

[905] A guy can really act.

[906] Yeah.

[907] And he's got a funny face.

[908] But he's so gorgeous.

[909] It's crazy.

[910] It's very confusing.

[911] I think if I was going to get real work done, I would probably go for those jutting ears because I, I'm surprised that there's so much pleasant surgery in the world and nobody goes full eccentric.

[912] Nobody's like, do you know what I mean?

[913] Nobody's like, how come nobody gets to fucking total recall?

[914] third 10.

[915] I would think that would be a major stop.

[916] We don't know that someone hasn't.

[917] I think I've looked it up before.

[918] Oh, you have?

[919] You've done some digging.

[920] Yeah, but I'm just surprised it's not out there more.

[921] Anyway, yes, the show is terrific.

[922] I'm really proud of it.

[923] It's phenomenal.

[924] Was it a beatdown?

[925] Because you're basically doing five feature length movies.

[926] Ten.

[927] Well, no. Oh, five.

[928] They're an hour.

[929] Listen, I only watch shorts.

[930] I only watch shorts.

[931] I only watch shorts.

[932] No, no, it was just wrong.

[933] I was just only half listening.

[934] Yeah.

[935] You're like making five feature films.

[936] I don't know.

[937] What was it?

[938] Six months or something?

[939] I don't know what to tell you.

[940] Everything in this business is like, it's brutal while it's going.

[941] And then it's all childbirth.

[942] It's all like, I don't remember.

[943] Let's have another one.

[944] If I had it my way, here's some ideas.

[945] Showbiz would be an after lunch job.

[946] I know there's a lot of issues with light.

[947] But you should have the morning to like, you know, think, play the crossword, whatever.

[948] And also women, hair and makeup, that would be part of a day.

[949] It wouldn't be like this bonus on top or something.

[950] I'm wearing last night's critic's choice makeup.

[951] You know what I mean?

[952] Second day is perfect.

[953] Also though mostly those two things.

[954] I just think it should be a later in the day gig.

[955] Yeah.

[956] And there should be less touching.

[957] That said, while you're doing it, it's all very challenging because oh my God, there's so much work on that show.

[958] Memorizing fucking 60 pages at a time.

[959] I don't even know how it was happening.

[960] I will really drill down like Sam Rockwell gave me his acting coach at some point and I was like, okay, if you say so, Sammy.

[961] And so I started using him.

[962] I used him a lot on Russian Dala sort of make sure that all the other actors were spoken for when I was directing so that that way they all had all their fucking beats and motives and all there.

[963] And then I'd rewrite in the sort of sessions with Terry Knickerbocker to make sure that everybody was kosher and also for myself.

[964] And then also to sort of like carve out the difference and the distinctions between a character who's Charlie Kale versus Nadia Volvikov versus Nikki Nichols or whatever.

[965] I was like, oh shit.

[966] I guess now I'm a person who works a fair amount.

[967] I really got to start carving out all these different people and stuff.

[968] You got to keep them separate.

[969] Yeah.

[970] So, you know, I work a shit time with him.

[971] In the middle of that, I hosted SNL, which was so fun.

[972] I was definitely working.

[973] And, you know, me, I'm always out there trying to mix it up and get in trouble in the middle of the night.

[974] I'm a night owl.

[975] So I keep a busy schedule.

[976] You got to prowl a little bit.

[977] Prall the streets.

[978] Oh, I'm prowling those streets.

[979] You know what I mean?

[980] Because I got to stay in spire.

[981] Got to see where the kids are.

[982] Anyway, the show is really terrific.

[983] Like, Ryan is great.

[984] We really had a lot of fun together and very inspired.

[985] He knows exactly what he wants in a beautiful way.

[986] You don't find that you're like walking the dog at night, sort of, oh, that's how we should have done it.

[987] You kind of go home and you're like, if he said, we got it, we got it.

[988] You don't live here anymore?

[989] I have a place in both now.

[990] Oh, you do?

[991] Okay.

[992] Fred and I broke up so I got the house with the pool.

[993] And so now I still have the apartment in New York.

[994] Okay.

[995] They call that by coastal.

[996] But hold on a second.

[997] You still live in the place you and Fred lived in.

[998] No. You got your own spot.

[999] Like, honey, honey, honey, I love you, honey, you keep it.

[1000] And he was like, oh, cool, because it's my house.

[1001] I was like, fucking, that's a win -win for you, babe.

[1002] But, you know, we do still have plots together because I was like, I'll see you then.

[1003] Do you know what I mean?

[1004] No, I want to say I know.

[1005] It's a way of saying we're still very close.

[1006] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1007] I love the baby Freddy.

[1008] Yes, how could you not?

[1009] He's so lovely.

[1010] He and my wife are deeply, deeply engaged with Nextdoor, the app that tells you.

[1011] you about your neighborhood.

[1012] Oh, interesting.

[1013] He does always talk about it.

[1014] I wouldn't listen.

[1015] Right.

[1016] He was like, so -and -so, that got robbed the car.

[1017] I'm not on it either, right?

[1018] Yeah.

[1019] In fact, when we all hung out, I kind of felt like, well, this is great.

[1020] Like, I'm you and he's Kristen.

[1021] Did you have that feeling or no?

[1022] Enough so, yeah.

[1023] Yeah, you don't remember, but I remember.

[1024] I was like, okay, I see.

[1025] They got the same dynamic.

[1026] I was just, you saw the way this guy backs out of traffic.

[1027] They're both so into next door.

[1028] Yeah.

[1029] So many things are happening here within a 12 -block radius that you and I are just completely unaware, but those two are so dialed in.

[1030] They're often really, really funny.

[1031] People are having really, really big crisis over the olive bar out of Gelson.

[1032] I remember that was one that had them engaged for a week.

[1033] On my life, I could care less.

[1034] I know.

[1035] Because, you know, the trick with life is things happen and then they stop happening and then they move on from happening and other things happen.

[1036] So it seems crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.

[1037] If given the chance, is this something that you'll do many seasons of?

[1038] sorry the cup was empty don't worry I'm wrapping this up I can see you losing energy here oh it's just this is around the time where I start smoking oh right right right right you don't do nicotine mince like I do I mean I'm a purest I don't want to super super super hardy I would love to do more of this with Ryan I really hope people like it but I like the idea that Ryan and I could get old I certainly wouldn't want to do it at the expense of doing all these other things like it's really important that I kind of...

[1039] Keep writing and directing.

[1040] It just makes me so happy.

[1041] The directing, like you said, you get there and you have 12 hours of joy.

[1042] My inner child will fucking jump out of my soul and kill me if I don't listen to her.

[1043] And her search for life is to sort of stay on this inspiration train that she's found that is the happy place.

[1044] You know, obviously it's so special about Ryan being such a major human being is we sort of also have shared goals.

[1045] He obviously is just an extraordinary filmmaker.

[1046] He's got so much to do.

[1047] And I'm somebody who's really in my pocket right now.

[1048] I don't know how long it'll last.

[1049] But, you know, at least for a few years here, I've really got some sort of stories to tell.

[1050] We just have such a beautiful relationship, but we're always kind of talking about it and excited about that.

[1051] And that leads me to think that in success, it would be possible to even be like Angela Lansberry on this fucking show of just we would be figuring out how we do this together while also doing all the things that we love doing so much.

[1052] Yeah.

[1053] Okay, that's it.

[1054] But the one thing I just simply, because it's such an exciting sentence to read, which is that dad was a boxing promoter and race car driver.

[1055] Wow.

[1056] I feel like that could be me in another life.

[1057] Yeah.

[1058] Well, you know, he's a veil for re -embodiment.

[1059] No, he died.

[1060] I think it was roughly around the same time I did.

[1061] Oh, really?

[1062] Yeah, yeah.

[1063] 2014, did he die?

[1064] I honestly don't know the year, but they're all dead as hell.

[1065] They're all dead as hell.

[1066] Mommy dead, daddy dead.

[1067] Oh, I didn't know.

[1068] Maybe that's why boys keep trying to put babies in me. They're like, I'll take care of you.

[1069] I'm like, honey, who's going to take care of the kid?

[1070] Use your brain, honey.

[1071] But I have good taste in men.

[1072] Well, I really like the last one.

[1073] Because I always feel like the men I choose, we could have a child and I could leave you and the child behind, like just run away into the night and you would take care of it well.

[1074] Like it would get it.

[1075] Well, that's what you noted in him.

[1076] Yeah, him, but also Fred.

[1077] Like Fred would like take care.

[1078] Oh, yeah.

[1079] I'd love to be Fred's child.

[1080] Yeah, I know.

[1081] I think I'm always figuring out, I'm like, if I abandon the family, how would you do?

[1082] Oh, well enough, I think.

[1083] But my dad is dead, and his dream was in the 80s.

[1084] He wanted to be the Don King of Israel and bring Mike Tyson to the Tel Aviv Hilton.

[1085] And so in a sort of tax evasion situation, he took the family out there.

[1086] We were in Long Island at the time.

[1087] So for like a year and a half, we moved from New York.

[1088] to Israel to live this sort of manic fantasy and do tax evasion.

[1089] And then my mother and I, I guess, left him behind there.

[1090] And she and I moved back to Manhattan.

[1091] So it's like this sort of window in there where.

[1092] Yeah, like from eight to nine and a half maybe.

[1093] Okay.

[1094] I'm deeply fascinated by what that year and a half was like.

[1095] Was it cool?

[1096] Sociologically interesting.

[1097] Yes.

[1098] Yeah.

[1099] So do you think that chaos is why you look for boys that?

[1100] are safe or would protect a kid?

[1101] Oh, interesting.

[1102] I've seen so much wacky stuff in my childhood that, A, I have practically no judgment over anybody's condition.

[1103] Listen, I don't like anything that's non -consensual or just sort of not nice.

[1104] The idea of violence seems so atrocious to me. It just seems so mean.

[1105] You know, I don't like mean stuff.

[1106] I don't even like snarky comedy, but I have no judgment ultimately over people's inner condition and the things that they do to survive that damage or their lot in life.

[1107] I never judge anybody on the basis of anything because I'm like, yeah, fucking shit's crazy, baby.

[1108] Life's fucking nuts.

[1109] You know what I mean?

[1110] People have big feelings and they got to smash them down.

[1111] I get it.

[1112] So I saw that a lot with the childhood.

[1113] And in my work, I'll write a lot about crazy people or characters or something like that, but I'm actually not very interested in erratic behavior is not my bag at all.

[1114] I will write about it.

[1115] I'm sort of an observer of it because I saw it firsthand, but on a personal level, I'm pretty.

[1116] Rock steady, slow and steady wins race.

[1117] Be the tortoise, not the hair.

[1118] I like my close friends in my life or my romantic entanglements to be sort of very like solid citizens show up.

[1119] There's not a lot of chaos, drunk dudes in the door crying or whatever.

[1120] You know what I mean?

[1121] Like, baby, baby.

[1122] I'm more like, yeah, if you have my address, you're grown up enough to handle it, right?

[1123] And like, yeah, this might not work out.

[1124] Life's crazy.

[1125] There's what text messages are for.

[1126] Don't call me. morning, I think we're going to stay on until 7 a .m. It's not happening.

[1127] I got to go to bed tonight, you know?

[1128] But I think in many ways my addiction was my attempt to understand my parents because I was like, why would they be like that?

[1129] Were they addicts?

[1130] Yeah.

[1131] And then on the other side of that, I think I like the figures in my life and myself to sort of know from and understand from the many aspects of the human condition, but actually just sort of be a little bit more steady.

[1132] I would say, and I've owned it a bunch of times, that I'm kind of false advertising.

[1133] I'm like punk rock background, real shit show, getting into all kinds of trouble.

[1134] And that's what you maybe like see.

[1135] And then you come to my house and it's a little suspiciously clean.

[1136] Yeah.

[1137] And I'm like very into my routine.

[1138] Yeah.

[1139] And I'm super like.

[1140] And I need everything very predictable.

[1141] Everything very clean.

[1142] I need the schedule super tight.

[1143] Gotta ring that sponge out or he'll be mad.

[1144] That's why they stink if you don't ring them out.

[1145] Yeah.

[1146] Yeah, I can own my false advertising.

[1147] Yeah, I know me too.

[1148] We're very similar in that way.

[1149] Except that I'm a night owl and you're a family.

[1150] Well, that's different.

[1151] Yeah, not by choice.

[1152] Like I'm sort of still a scumbag and you're settled down.

[1153] But hold on, not naturally.

[1154] I'm always lamenting the fact that my ideal life would be, I go to bed at two, I wake up at 10.

[1155] That's the schedule I need to be.

[1156] So my plan of what I really need is I need to get to 150, even as a beta model.

[1157] And that way I can do my whole plan, which is.

[1158] 150 years old.

[1159] Yeah.

[1160] Like, and then at 55, maybe I'll consider having a kid or something.

[1161] And then maybe slow down.

[1162] At a hundred.

[1163] A little bit.

[1164] 120 if you're going to 150.

[1165] You know what I'm saying?

[1166] I just need those extra years because right now, yeah, I'm deep in my fucking peak scumbag era.

[1167] My thing is also not only those are the hours I want to keep, but I actually need 26 hours in a day.

[1168] I totally figured it out because if I just go on my natural rhythm, I'll sleep for eight.

[1169] But I need to be awake for 18, not 16.

[1170] 16 doesn't work for me. So I really need 26 hours in the day.

[1171] And then I need, yeah, 150, 175 years to go get the perspective.

[1172] Isn't that the point of having this podcast that you have access to those kinds of, don't you call in?

[1173] If I had this podcast, I'd be like, here's another fucking physicist.

[1174] Here's another futurist.

[1175] Here's another scientist, another life extensionalist.

[1176] Another interstellar traveler.

[1177] Yeah, we do that.

[1178] Right.

[1179] So aren't they giving you any sort of like?

[1180] discounts oh as far as the tactic keep me well i think we've interviewed the right people i'll say that you have the fucking stuff that's what i'm asking not yet but the stuff's not there yet they don't have it no but according this article i just read the time horizon does look like about 10 years out from a lot of the significant stuff you know the stuff about erasing the epigenome off the mice and returning them to different ages and they're really now they can pinpoint so used to be they would just wipe out too much they would go into this kind of youth state and then their organs would grow too big, right?

[1181] So they're like, oh shit, we brought them back too far.

[1182] But so they've really dialed in bringing the mouse back to the exact age they want to.

[1183] So that's very encouraging.

[1184] But to go from there to us, well, A, seems now possible.

[1185] And then B, that it'll be about 10 years of development before.

[1186] We can pick what age we want to be reset to.

[1187] Y 'all, I want to stay right here.

[1188] Right here right now.

[1189] We were just debating this last week.

[1190] But your brain is still the same.

[1191] It's just what physical vessel.

[1192] But is your brain aging?

[1193] Yeah, that's the age.

[1194] That's what I was kind of confused about.

[1195] Doesn't then it atrophy it?

[1196] I've never looked better in my life.

[1197] This is your peak.

[1198] Yeah, I'm fucking peaking.

[1199] That's great.

[1200] No brainer.

[1201] Yeah.

[1202] I mean, maybe like 17, I guess otherwise.

[1203] Did you watch the Studs documentary?

[1204] I did.

[1205] Actually, I was texting Joan.

[1206] I thought it was beautiful.

[1207] Isn't it so beautiful?

[1208] And then we just interviewed him.

[1209] He was saying that you have two energy sources in life.

[1210] You have your spiritual energy source and your physical energy source.

[1211] And that all humans, these cross at 27.

[1212] 27 is when you peak with your human energy, and it starts declining from that point on.

[1213] And then hopefully you replace that energy source with a growing spiritual energy source.

[1214] It's funny because when we were talking about what vessel do we want, 27 seems pretty ideal.

[1215] Okay.

[1216] So I don't want to be like a stutts detractor, but I've had a hard pass.

[1217] For me, 27 was a mess.

[1218] It's all I'm saying.

[1219] It's not you.

[1220] It's your physical body.

[1221] I don't even know what that body was.

[1222] It was in such shambles at that point.

[1223] from what I did to it.

[1224] Yes, yes.

[1225] I went into fucking reamp 75 pounds.

[1226] My body was fucked up at 27.

[1227] Yeah.

[1228] It took like a decade.

[1229] Did people have like the inexplicable urge to lift you?

[1230] Because if I make you at 75, I'd certainly would want to lift you off the ground.

[1231] Yeah, you'll lift me into a stretcher.

[1232] I don't know that 27 is as hot as it's 27.

[1233] That's the time everybody dies.

[1234] What are we even talking about?

[1235] Well, that is an unfortunate age for a lot of musicians.

[1236] Yeah, I don't think it's that hot.

[1237] But what I could relate to is that at 27, I was.

[1238] drinking at least a fifth a day.

[1239] I was doing cocaine.

[1240] I was smoking a pack and a half of cigarettes.

[1241] I exclusively ate at 7 -11.

[1242] I went in there twice a day for the two for $1 .29 hot dogs.

[1243] And I woke up and by God, Natasha, I felt pretty good every morning.

[1244] And then that started going away.

[1245] You know when I was actually not bad, 22.

[1246] Oh, okay.

[1247] Like before it all went, you know.

[1248] Okay.

[1249] Listen, I'm going to wrap this up by saying, Yes, dear.

[1250] I become aware of you from slums of Beverly Hills.

[1251] I'm totally enchanted by you and David Krumholtz.

[1252] I'm like, who the fuck are these two people?

[1253] I'm so excited that these actors are an offering.

[1254] And then you're out for a while.

[1255] And I'm like, what happened to that gal I was so intrigued by?

[1256] And then you returned.

[1257] And I was so thrilled that you made it through because there were just so many that didn't.

[1258] Heartbreakingly so.

[1259] I've known several of them, obviously, from being sober for 20 years in L .A. And I'm so delighted that you've landed where you're at in your writing and directing and you're acting and doing every single thing.

[1260] And it's very life -affirming for me, from the outside, whether you want to acknowledge all that or be taken on that ride.

[1261] I am incredibly grateful that this crazy winding road landed you right where you're at.

[1262] I'm a fan.

[1263] That's so sweet.

[1264] I truly am a fan.

[1265] This is very nice.

[1266] And you're so fantastic.

[1267] And I want everyone to watch Pokerface.

[1268] It's really, really great.

[1269] It's you who we all love, and it's Ryan who we all love, and it's brilliantly made, and it's on Peacock.

[1270] You get four at once.

[1271] Boom.

[1272] They're going to bend you over and plow you with four right away.

[1273] They get you addicted with the four, and then every Thursday they come out.

[1274] I hope everyone watches it.

[1275] I adore you.

[1276] Oh, it's mutual.

[1277] This is so sweet.

[1278] What a sweetheart you are.

[1279] You have to attend now my hay ride.

[1280] What a nice thing.

[1281] Thank God you brought this guy back in the fucking passing.

[1282] Yeah, worth it.

[1283] Please attend my hay ride.

[1284] Okay.

[1285] Yeah, it's really fun.

[1286] No idea what he means, but sure.

[1287] Halloween hayride.

[1288] Halloween hayride.

[1289] Sure.

[1290] Through this neighborhood over and over again.

[1291] Michael Jackson Thriller, dancing.

[1292] If you really want to be impressed by some maneuvering of a machine.

[1293] Bring extra pants.

[1294] You're going to be changing your slacks every 20 minutes.

[1295] That's how intense the driving is.

[1296] There's a U -turn with the trail.

[1297] are at the top of the hill.

[1298] You're because I'm being?

[1299] No, no. You're going to be so horny for my driving.

[1300] I suppose you went.

[1301] I thought you were, okay, okay.

[1302] So just bring extra.

[1303] You could tie it into your costume.

[1304] It'd be easy to justify why you had lots of pants.

[1305] Right, right, right.

[1306] Wear rubber or diaper.

[1307] Everybody likes that.

[1308] I adore you.

[1309] Good luck on everything.

[1310] I hope you come back and watch Pokerface.

[1311] All right.

[1312] Much love.

[1313] Stay tuned for more armchair expert.

[1314] If you dare And now my favorite part of the show The Fact Check with my soulmate Monica Padman Who he?

[1315] Oh, whirlwind Who he?

[1316] What time is it?

[1317] Oh, forfeiting.

[1318] Almost an eight hour day.

[1319] Big old day.

[1320] Big day.

[1321] I wish I could say I was going to sleep like a king But there's no relationship.

[1322] Last night's sleep was Habarudo.

[1323] Sorry.

[1324] Delta's sick.

[1325] Yeah.

[1326] So lots of trips in.

[1327] Yeah.

[1328] coughing, coughing, coughing, cough.

[1329] Sneeze, sneeze.

[1330] Wake up, wake up, wake up.

[1331] Too many peas.

[1332] Three peas.

[1333] And I've been curbing my intake, whatever.

[1334] Of caffeine?

[1335] Just liquid.

[1336] Oh, oh, oh.

[1337] Because I'm peeing, you know, she pee so much.

[1338] I gotta switch to a diaper.

[1339] You got it.

[1340] I got it.

[1341] It's time.

[1342] It's been a long time coming.

[1343] Mm -hmm.

[1344] I've been flirting with it for a long time.

[1345] It's time to pull the trigger.

[1346] Yeah.

[1347] How'd you sleep?

[1348] Okay.

[1349] A little cold.

[1350] in my bedroom despite the fact I got you a heater so I realized that I've never closed the door to my bedroom I just don't do that right but you know I've been in an ongoing battle with making chicken in my apartment and the smell that it permeate I mean it gets everywhere everywhere it's on my clothes yeah well it's yeah Yeah.

[1351] It's because my apartment has no ventilation.

[1352] There's not one vent.

[1353] Right.

[1354] Right.

[1355] In the entire apartment.

[1356] There's no vent over the stove.

[1357] What the commode?

[1358] I guess you got a window next to your commode?

[1359] There's a window.

[1360] That's it.

[1361] Okay.

[1362] All right.

[1363] And you made yourself a big bird last night.

[1364] Is that what happened?

[1365] Some thighs.

[1366] Oh.

[1367] On a cookie sheet?

[1368] No. No, a braze.

[1369] In the pan.

[1370] In a Dutch oven.

[1371] Ooh.

[1372] Yeah.

[1373] Pull the covers up and let her rip.

[1374] You brown, so it's a couple, it's some processes.

[1375] You brown skin on, and then you remove, then you use the chicken fat.

[1376] Okay.

[1377] To cook your other stuff, your aromatic.

[1378] And then you put the chicken back in, some liquid.

[1379] And you sprinkle the fat all over the apartments just so for days you can smell it.

[1380] No, it just gets, it's on my towel.

[1381] It's on my clothes.

[1382] It's on.

[1383] This morning, you put your purse outdoors.

[1384] You came into the attic, we had a guest, and then you're like, when I came up, you were placing your purse outside of the attic.

[1385] Yeah.

[1386] It smells like chicken.

[1387] I got worried.

[1388] I'm like, what do you have a fucking chicken inside there?

[1389] Well, it's also one of those things that I don't know if it's just in my nose.

[1390] Right.

[1391] That's hard to know.

[1392] It's hard to nose.

[1393] Or my hair, very probable it's in my hair.

[1394] Uh -huh.

[1395] And I have all the windows open, including the ones in my bedroom, the living room, dining, the kitchen.

[1396] Cross breezes.

[1397] All the fans.

[1398] Okay.

[1399] But this time, I closed the bedroom door.

[1400] Before you started cooking.

[1401] Yes.

[1402] Very smart.

[1403] And I closed the bathroom door.

[1404] It was better.

[1405] Uh -huh.

[1406] So I learned.

[1407] But what I didn't think about was the fact that I'd be freezing with that door closed.

[1408] And then this morning I was like, oh my God, I'm freezing.

[1409] Oh, yeah, I have a heater.

[1410] A very decorative, cool one.

[1411] Exactly.

[1412] So tonight, I'll use the heater.

[1413] Oh, so you didn't, because it was too late by the time you remembered.

[1414] Yeah, it was this morning.

[1415] Oh, I thought maybe like, oh, but you didn't turn it on this morning.

[1416] No, I was heading out the door.

[1417] It was too cold.

[1418] Wham, bam, thank you, ma 'am, out the door, onto the next.

[1419] But now I know how to fix.

[1420] Oh, yeah.

[1421] You're going to love it.

[1422] I have one downstairs in the gym.

[1423] Same model, different color.

[1424] It'll be cozy.

[1425] And it really, I got to turn it off for pretty quick.

[1426] It's the gym real warm.

[1427] I love it hot.

[1428] Very old -fashioned, too.

[1429] Just one toggle switch, which I love.

[1430] Oh, and people will be happy to know someone came to my apartment today to reinforce the fan or at least check it to make sure I don't get decapitated.

[1431] Oh, right.

[1432] Yes, yes.

[1433] Someone wrote a horror story in the comments.

[1434] Oh, no. About decapitation?

[1435] I hesitate to tell you.

[1436] But it was, God, the person was pregnant.

[1437] Oh, my God.

[1438] They were laying in bad.

[1439] The fucking fan did.

[1440] you know, come apart, fail structurally, and swirling pieces rained down, there was injuries.

[1441] Was the baby okay?

[1442] Yes, the baby was okay.

[1443] Oh, thank God.

[1444] But I think maybe she was setting this, the context being she wasn't real nimble at the moment.

[1445] Maybe she couldn't jump up or something.

[1446] Yeah, I don't know if the baby was material to the story, but I think it was to say that, well, stakes for sure, good storytelling, 101.

[1447] Yeah.

[1448] But also maybe to say her mobility was decreased.

[1449] Oh, my God.

[1450] Yeah, I thought maybe you read that.

[1451] Speaking of, a very good friend of mine is pregnant.

[1452] Uh -huh.

[1453] And I got to go with her to her appointment.

[1454] And look at the, hear the baby heartbeat and all that.

[1455] Yeah, it was so special.

[1456] And then I saw you right after.

[1457] Yeah, then I saw Rob immediately after.

[1458] You were at the maternity ward?

[1459] Yep.

[1460] Right next to Maru.

[1461] Rob is pregnant.

[1462] Wait, is the place next to Maru?

[1463] The Cedars there, the new urgent care.

[1464] Actually, upstairs has real offices.

[1465] Oh, baby.

[1466] So also...

[1467] Can I get anything down there?

[1468] Probably, I'm finding a new doctor that's up there.

[1469] Yes, that's the move.

[1470] So walkable?

[1471] I mean, come on.

[1472] If I'd be at the doctor every day.

[1473] I can't wait.

[1474] I'm going to go so much.

[1475] They're going to know you my first name.

[1476] No, it's really hard.

[1477] It takes like four months to get an appointment.

[1478] Oh, my God.

[1479] So, anyway, so that was really lovely.

[1480] I got to do that.

[1481] I loved those appointments.

[1482] Yeah, I bet.

[1483] Oh, they're so fun.

[1484] I bet.

[1485] peeking inside and seeing the little little baby swimming around in there.

[1486] You know, and I really started thinking about it because this is a very close person to me. It's like, wow, there's no going back.

[1487] That's right.

[1488] That's right.

[1489] We're on the other side of this now.

[1490] And for the rest of our lives, you have a child.

[1491] I was just talking to Hannah about that like two nights ago because she's getting married.

[1492] And I said, you know, there is.

[1493] the wave of permanence when you get married.

[1494] But on some level, you also know divorce is an option.

[1495] You know.

[1496] But boy, when you get that ultrasound, you go, well.

[1497] Until you're dead.

[1498] This is it.

[1499] Yeah.

[1500] It is the most permanent thing I've ever felt for sure.

[1501] Yeah.

[1502] It's forever.

[1503] And freaked me out a little bit.

[1504] Yeah.

[1505] Sure.

[1506] The time before there was a more, the most important thing is over.

[1507] Yeah.

[1508] It is crazy.

[1509] Yeah.

[1510] It's very bizarre.

[1511] Aaron was the first out of the gates of my friendship group.

[1512] Yeah.

[1513] Who had one.

[1514] And I just remember thinking, in some way, it was very consistent with who he was.

[1515] He always had animals, right?

[1516] Right.

[1517] The responsibility of an animal always, even if I thought one was cute, I couldn't commit.

[1518] Yeah.

[1519] And I was always shocked with Aaron.

[1520] He was picking up dogs.

[1521] He had a couple ferrets for a while.

[1522] And that just never scared him.

[1523] Yeah.

[1524] And then so I guess in that.

[1525] way when he had a kid or way earlier than me, I was like, yeah, I guess this is kind of, this is consistent.

[1526] Yeah, it's on brand.

[1527] It came in under budget.

[1528] So what did it make you think?

[1529] Like, oh, boy, do I, do I really want to use these eggs?

[1530] Do I want to go get more eggs?

[1531] Did it impact any of those thoughts?

[1532] Yeah.

[1533] Yeah.

[1534] I mean, I'm definitely freezing again.

[1535] When's that start?

[1536] I'll probably, most likely, around April.

[1537] Okay.

[1538] Why did you pick April?

[1539] Lots of travel in March.

[1540] Okay.

[1541] And we're in February.

[1542] There you go.

[1543] Makes it real easy.

[1544] And I do want to do it sooner.

[1545] Sure.

[1546] Plus I want to give my body a fair amount of time off the birth control.

[1547] Right.

[1548] Which will be at what, nine months at that point or something?

[1549] Yeah, August to April.

[1550] Fast math.

[1551] Real nice block of time there.

[1552] Yeah.

[1553] So we'll see.

[1554] And it didn't make me think, oh, I really want to use the eggs.

[1555] It did make me feel like I do want to be in this position.

[1556] Okay.

[1557] And you do want to be in an ultrasound.

[1558] Yeah, exactly.

[1559] Okay, great.

[1560] So it did make me feel like I want that.

[1561] But not necessarily that I want to use the eggs.

[1562] I don't know.

[1563] But I did think I was like, oh, my God, like, okay, this is happening.

[1564] So timing -wise, like, maybe I should.

[1565] should just use these eggs soon.

[1566] Like, maybe I should just, like, get this show on the road.

[1567] I don't know.

[1568] I don't know.

[1569] I was 38 the first time, 40 to second.

[1570] Yeah.

[1571] For what that's worth.

[1572] Yeah.

[1573] Throwing it out there.

[1574] Yeah.

[1575] Yeah, we'll see.

[1576] But, oh, this is kind of a ding, ding, ding, because this is Natasha Leone.

[1577] And we talk about kids and stuff on this.

[1578] And she wishes we could live to be up to one.

[1579] Like hopefully that science will catch up and we'll live up to 150.

[1580] And then she was like, you know, then maybe I could have a kid when I'm like 100 or something.

[1581] Which would still be more time with the kid than most people get.

[1582] Exactly.

[1583] I'm kind of with her on that.

[1584] Yeah, that sounds cool.

[1585] Too late for me. Right.

[1586] I guess I've got a whole new batch of kids at 100.

[1587] Well, you'll have grandkids and great grandkids.

[1588] You'll have lots of generations.

[1589] Yeah, maybe my kids could be like cohorts or peers with my grandchildren.

[1590] Well, that'd be interesting.

[1591] But they'll be their parents.

[1592] No, like, let's say in 20 years, Lincoln has a kid.

[1593] 20 years later, that kid has a kid.

[1594] Yeah.

[1595] And in 50 years, I have another batch of kids.

[1596] Oh, wow.

[1597] Then my kids would be, like, growing up best friends with their grand, you know, their grand nephews and nieces.

[1598] At what age would you reverse your vasectomy?

[1599] Hunter feels cool.

[1600] Like on my birthday, go in, have them chop that old thing.

[1601] back open and hook up all the plumbing and then send me on my way.

[1602] What a wild life.

[1603] Mm -hmm.

[1604] But you look 27?

[1605] The sky's the left.

[1606] No, I look 100.

[1607] No, I don't look 100.

[1608] Okay.

[1609] Yeah.

[1610] I was like, I thought you wanted to.

[1611] Yeah.

[1612] Not 27, though.

[1613] We're not going back that far.

[1614] We didn't say that, didn't we.

[1615] I did.

[1616] I said 27.

[1617] 28.

[1618] It sounds like what's funny is when you said yours and I said mine, Natasha said, it really kind of just lined up with you're going to go back.

[1619] I don't know what would be eight years or 10 years.

[1620] It's almost like you just go back 10 years.

[1621] That's interesting.

[1622] Yeah.

[1623] Because mine was older than yours.

[1624] Mine was the oldest I'd go back to.

[1625] And hers was the second as I were told.

[1626] Yeah, she said she likes where she's at.

[1627] She's going to stay there.

[1628] She loves it.

[1629] I don't know what that age is, but.

[1630] 42 or something.

[1631] 43.

[1632] Forty -thrunderful.

[1633] That's the ding, ding, ding.

[1634] Oh.

[1635] Because she said her and Harvey Kytel were about the same age.

[1636] And he's 83.

[1637] She's close.

[1638] 40 years.

[1639] And she said same height, and he is 5 .7, according to the internet.

[1640] Yeah.

[1641] And she's 5 .3, according to the internet.

[1642] That's closer than their ages are.

[1643] It is, although she felt my height.

[1644] Did she?

[1645] Yeah.

[1646] I can't recall.

[1647] She was really small.

[1648] Teency.

[1649] Tiny torso or a long torso?

[1650] LT or T. I don't want to judge her torso.

[1651] I'm air.

[1652] You'll tell me on the side.

[1653] Yeah.

[1654] Speaking of, I switched my armwar.

[1655] Oh, by myself.

[1656] Good job.

[1657] I did a good job.

[1658] It still looks a little nuts on the other wall.

[1659] Still too big.

[1660] But better.

[1661] Did it scratch up the floor pretty good?

[1662] Probably.

[1663] Okay.

[1664] But I have a rug.

[1665] Oh, so you slit it on the rug?

[1666] No, under.

[1667] Oh.

[1668] So then that covers.

[1669] You pick the rug up, slit it, put the rug back down.

[1670] But you didn't even glance to see if it was all.

[1671] I did.

[1672] I didn't see anything.

[1673] Oh, great.

[1674] That sounds like it didn't.

[1675] But I didn't want to look too hard.

[1676] Yeah.

[1677] Don't look for problems.

[1678] Yeah.

[1679] That's right.

[1680] Yeah.

[1681] That's right.

[1682] Don't fix what's not.

[1683] I was just talking to someone on the phone, and we came up with the term, don't fix what's broken.

[1684] Oh, wow.

[1685] Yeah, it's kind of like revolutionary.

[1686] So, let's see, what else we got, Natasha?

[1687] What a unique person.

[1688] Yeah, authentic as fuck.

[1689] Very.

[1690] Okay, oh, I mean, there's pictures, so I guess people saw, but she's wearing a Gucci outfit.

[1691] I comment on her outfit, and it was good.

[1692] Gucci.

[1693] She wore Gucci the night before to the critics' choice.

[1694] Also, I wonder if she, like, has a deal with them.

[1695] She's an ambassador to Gucci.

[1696] Yeah, face of.

[1697] You know what I like?

[1698] I like that onus as Gucci.

[1699] She does.

[1700] As far as, like, okay.

[1701] Yeah.

[1702] Yeah, I think that's a young person thing.

[1703] I like it.

[1704] I know, me too.

[1705] Gucci?

[1706] Like, is that good?

[1707] Yeah, it's kind of cool.

[1708] I think it's really cool.

[1709] It's really cool.

[1710] I'm really kind of cool.

[1711] Extremely cool.

[1712] It's very Gucci.

[1713] have you noticed on that physical show how much they say things are cool okay let's talk about 100 physical is that the title physical 100 physical 100 physical on Netflix have you been keeping up since we got back no I'm not up to date oh it just gets better and better oh great we love it Rob said to me like he texts me like have you watched you know a couple days ago Natalie found it and she was like I can't all over it yes yes We started it in Hawaii And couldn't stop watching it And now we're like count down the minutes Till the new episodes released But we haven't discussed it Yeah I have some theories I want to float Okay And maybe some of the producers At the show will respond to this Hopefully not in a legal letter But just they'll somehow tell me The first episode They say hello We'll tell people with the premise Generally It's a Korean show And there are a hundred people With perfect physiques they come from many different disciplines you've got a gymnast you've got a wrestler you've got runway models you've got every single thing crossfitters the whole gamut power lifters and there's a hundred contestants in the first episode which i don't know it was six seven hours long they're all gathering one at a time and they've made busts of their bodies they put a mold around their body and they're trying to find their body and this room is enormous and there's a hundred bust and now you file in a hundred people and they're all now they're speaking in Korean so we're trusting that the translation is literal.

[1714] Yeah.

[1715] It's dubbed.

[1716] This is the first show.

[1717] The first episode is this for 90 plus minutes.

[1718] Hello.

[1719] Hello.

[1720] Hello.

[1721] I saw you on YouTube.

[1722] Hello.

[1723] Oh my God.

[1724] Look at his body.

[1725] So big.

[1726] Hello.

[1727] You guys watched with the English dubs over it?

[1728] It's dubbed yeah.

[1729] What we watched.

[1730] You're reading fucking subtitles for 100 physical?

[1731] This is not a French film.

[1732] I watched the first episode on the Natalie came in and she's like, why I can't watch this while English dub, she's like, their voices, you need their voices because she's like, this guy sounds so much more ridiculous with his English actor.

[1733] Well, yes, so that's where we get into now, the potentially the legal letter.

[1734] It seems like they've hired five or six guys from Orange County from a beach community to do the dub.

[1735] And it also really appears like there's not been a translator hired and they're just kind of singing it, right?

[1736] Yeah.

[1737] So some of the weirdest things that are happening is like, oh, man, this is going to be cool.

[1738] I got to go to the bathroom, but I'm going to stay and watch.

[1739] Wow.

[1740] This guy.

[1741] And then also, and this is a curiosity, I floated this when we were watching it, Monica.

[1742] They're so braggy, which feels like a departure from what I, at least stereotypically think of.

[1743] And I was like, are they like trying to be American and or is the translator?

[1744] Because it's like, I'm gorgeous.

[1745] I'm the most gorgeous person here.

[1746] I'm the biggest guy here and I'm stronger than everybody.

[1747] I was like, God, this feels.

[1748] There's no way they're saying that.

[1749] Right.

[1750] The bragging feels inconsistent with, I want to use the right term.

[1751] We've had a bunch of different people who study different cultures of countries.

[1752] Yeah.

[1753] And it being a more society first culture versus an individualist.

[1754] Yeah.

[1755] This feels so individualist.

[1756] Like, I'm the most beautiful person in the world, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1757] Totally.

[1758] That's one weird thing.

[1759] And then as they go and they're heckling each other while they fight and stuff, it's a great show because they end up fighting each other for a ball.

[1760] It's based on, I believe, allegedly, oh, I don't know.

[1761] Legal letter, here we go.

[1762] Legal letter number two.

[1763] I heard that it's based off Squid Game.

[1764] It's got a Squid Game vibe for sure.

[1765] Even there's like the refs, whatever, have the masks.

[1766] That's a real nod.

[1767] Yeah.

[1768] And I mean, I remember after Squid Game, there was a press release, an announcement that they were going to do that.

[1769] They're going to make a show based off of it.

[1770] And I believe that to be this.

[1771] But anyways, I just more and more, the more I watch it, and I love it.

[1772] I think the people are just completely guessing what was said.

[1773] That's what I feel like is happening.

[1774] I could see that.

[1775] And I have no inside information.

[1776] Again, don't sue me, but that's, it feels very Huntington Beach.

[1777] Well, I think it's tricky because I'm sure what they're saying, there isn't necessarily an exact English translation for.

[1778] Or what if, let's just hypothetically suggest that there's producers of a show.

[1779] And with what they say in Korea is like, good luck, you're the best.

[1780] I hope you beat me. And they're like, this is bad for the way we consume competition shows, this isn't going to work.

[1781] Them being supportive and not antagonizing.

[1782] Let's amp it up.

[1783] That could have happened.

[1784] That seems that is very dicey in this climate.

[1785] To what?

[1786] Change what their intentions were?

[1787] Yeah.

[1788] The dubs don't even match the subtitles, though.

[1789] I had both on.

[1790] Oh, so that lends a little bit to what I'm saying.

[1791] The moment I'm talking about where it's like there's like, there's like, there's a moment I'm talking about where it's like there.

[1792] all on this balcony watching the battle and one guy like he steps to his left and then he steps to his right but i think he just reposition himself but they built there at that moment oh i got to go to the bathroom oh but i'm going to stay because this looks great like i think i don't think that guy was making a move for the bathroom i think he was just adjusting his way oh no you know oh boy okay i love it can't recommend it enough it's great hello hello we call it the hello show this i'll go out on a limb and I'll make a factual claim, and you can sue me over it.

[1793] Oh, no, do not say that.

[1794] Got to be a world record for the most hellos in a television show of all time.

[1795] Wow.

[1796] That I'm going to stand by.

[1797] Wait, what about Bachelor?

[1798] They don't have 100 contestants on Bachelor.

[1799] Oh, you're right.

[1800] But do you really hear all 100 people?

[1801] We have to count.

[1802] You hear all 100 meet multiple people in many permutations.

[1803] You think you're 3, 400 hello's.

[1804] It's great.

[1805] Physical 100 or 100 physical.

[1806] It's physical 100.

[1807] Or 100 physical.

[1808] You can type in any of those, and I guarantee it'll work.

[1809] Oh, man. Okay.

[1810] So the new tranquilizer drug, she was talking about.

[1811] She was mentioning that there was, like, a drug that was leading to a lot of amputations.

[1812] It is, I don't know how to pronounce it, but I would try by saying xylazine.

[1813] Ooh, xylazine.

[1814] Spelled X -Y -L -A -Z -I -N -E.

[1815] Oh, Zalgian is my arthritis.

[1816] Yeah, it's leading to anal -ean.

[1817] computations you should really yeah good thing I use it sparingly what if that's how it cured arthritis you eventually got that limb cut off but you can't oh it's gone it can't be so it can't be inflamed if it's right oh my god I can't even feel my elbow anymore this is great what is it tell me more about xylophone okay xylazine a large animal tranquilizer not a proof for human use started showing up routinely in the drug supply in 2019 but didn't take off until the coronavirus pandemic began in 2020, also known as Trank.

[1818] Zylazine can give users horrific skin lesions that can lead to amputations.

[1819] Oh, fuck.

[1820] Fuck.

[1821] Fuck, fuck.

[1822] Trank, as it's known on the streets.

[1823] Oh, there's an NPR on it, too.

[1824] Do you smoke it?

[1825] Do you snort it?

[1826] Can you do all the above?

[1827] If it's a tranquilizer, don't you think you, uh, oh, wait, this is, I see a picture.

[1828] I see a picture of baggies.

[1829] I'm surprised, yeah.

[1830] I imagine if they're getting lesions.

[1831] and stuff, they're shooting it.

[1832] Why would it be on your skin if not?

[1833] That's what I would guess.

[1834] But maybe you can do, maybe you can do it differently.

[1835] Well, like heroin, you can snort, smoke, or shoot.

[1836] Coke, you can snort smoke or shoot.

[1837] Probably you can snort smoke or shoot it.

[1838] Yeah.

[1839] Surged first in some areas of Puerto Rico and then in Philadelphia, where it was found in 91 % of opioid samples last year.

[1840] Okay.

[1841] Gotting dicey out there.

[1842] Oh, yeah.

[1843] Well, that's what it's called.

[1844] Okay.

[1845] Is weed legal in New York?

[1846] Yes, it is.

[1847] It is?

[1848] Uh -huh.

[1849] The state legalized recreational marijuana use in March 2021.

[1850] Oh.

[1851] Hmm.

[1852] Uh, says a line of hundreds snaked around the block.

[1853] Many giddy with excitement over the opening.

[1854] Oh, I bet they were.

[1855] When was ours before that?

[1856] Yeah.

[1857] Much, much before that.

[1858] We've had it for, I want to say, five years now.

[1859] 2018.

[1860] January 1st, right before your birthday.

[1861] I got just nailed that.

[1862] Wow, good job.

[1863] Where did I smell it?

[1864] Oh, I smelled it.

[1865] Oh, I smelled that we went at the clash of the Coliseum.

[1866] Oh, you did.

[1867] I was like, oh, someone's banging some green, some green buds.

[1868] That's crazy how much it's changed.

[1869] What if you think about it's like, well, I smell alcohol the whole time on there?

[1870] Everyone's banging beers back for sure, slamming them tall boys, $14 tall boys.

[1871] You could drink in the stadium?

[1872] Oh, sure.

[1873] It's encouraged.

[1874] Oh, wow.

[1875] Yeah, it's a big revenue stream at these arenas.

[1876] Yeah, not it.

[1877] UGA games Yeah, UGA games Can't do it Okay, okay, Bill Murray's Training Yes, he has trained At Second City He got to start at Second City Mm -hmm Which is what you had assumed My flashlight's been on this whole time Oh my gosh I worry about your battery It's blinding me actually Because we're in a low -light situation Already I'm so sorry It's so embarrassing Okay I asked Kristen About more details on the Olive Bar situation.

[1878] She sent a voice memo.

[1879] Oh, okay.

[1880] Let's hear what that has.

[1881] Hey, I'm not exactly sure of what you need, but if your question was about next door, I became interested in it first to be a part of my community, but then I very shortly realized it was just like a localized real housewives.

[1882] There's so much infighting and judgment.

[1883] And also, you can find lost dogs.

[1884] But I really became interested in it and was talking about it with Fred.

[1885] And he sent me one of the funniest posts I've ever seen where there's an olive bar at Gelson's, our local grocery store.

[1886] And Gelson's for about a week traded it to be a tomato bar, had different types of marinated tomatoes.

[1887] And this person wrote a two -page, like, combination.

[1888] It was like Salman Rushdie level.

[1889] vocabulary with just spitting and seething anger about who even eats tomatoes.

[1890] And it was an absolutely glorious post.

[1891] And it was way longer than any normal next door post should be.

[1892] And then for years following that, we have traded funny next door post.

[1893] Oh, that's great.

[1894] Okay, I'm going to go out on a limb and say I prefer tomatoes to olives.

[1895] I love tomatoes, but I need an olive bar more than I eat a tomato bar.

[1896] I don't need a tomato bar.

[1897] I want to go buy an heirloom tomato, slice it up, and eat it.

[1898] I like the olives marinating and the difference stew.

[1899] Okay.

[1900] Serums, the serum.

[1901] Okay, this is an Easter egg.

[1902] You're wearing makeup today.

[1903] Yeah, how's it look?

[1904] It's looking good.

[1905] Yeah, I like it.

[1906] I'm wondering, because you just rubbed your eye.

[1907] Yeah, because I don't know how to wear eyeliner and stuff.

[1908] That happened to me earlier in the day.

[1909] Well, no, it's not agitating me. But what's funny is when I was doing my research, I was already in my full, I have eye shadow on, mascara, and eyeliner for a guest.

[1910] Yes.

[1911] And I got that done.

[1912] And then I was doing my research of that guess.

[1913] And I realized how often I rub my eyes.

[1914] And then I'm getting like black all over my fingers.

[1915] And then my guess is I'm smudging everything to high heaven.

[1916] And I thought, oh, that's a layer I didn't think about is when gales wear mascara and shit.

[1917] You kind of can't fuck with your eyes.

[1918] That would be problematic for me. Unless you use waterproof, which some people do.

[1919] But then I find it very hard to then get off.

[1920] Get off, yeah.

[1921] I mean, you can use oils, but still.

[1922] I do like how it looks.

[1923] Like, I wish it was not crazy for me to wear eyeliner.

[1924] I mean, I like it.

[1925] Musicians do it.

[1926] Yeah.

[1927] Some even actors do it.

[1928] Some actors even do do it.

[1929] Even they do it.

[1930] Even some 100 physicals do it.

[1931] Probably.

[1932] Yeah.

[1933] Get those eyelashes to pop.

[1934] I just didn't, because sometimes it does get in your eyes and it can be annoying.

[1935] It's annoying, yeah, so I didn't know if you were dealing with some of that?

[1936] No, no irritation whatsoever.

[1937] I totally don't know I have it on, which is why I keep smearing it.

[1938] Okay, yeah.

[1939] I only know when I look at my fingers and I'm like, well, that was, I was, I had this project yesterday.

[1940] I was taking beadlock rings off my wheels of my new truck.

[1941] Uh -huh.

[1942] Then it turns I had to put them back on.

[1943] You have to use this anti -seasease lubricant.

[1944] By the end of this thing, each ring has probably, I think conservatively 28 bolts that all have to be torched to a certain specification it's absurdly labor intensive just to do these fucking rings should have never done it but i did it you got this this jar of anti -seas lubricant and it's got like graphite in it it's goopy and then i'm dipping bolts in it and i'm bolting bolting to hundreds of bolts by the end of it and my hands before i left last night were it looked like i was wearing gray gloves all the way up to my wrists And then I washed my hands.

[1945] I gave him a good wash. And I realized, oh, my fingertips, like I need to go back in and do another wash. But I did have a moment where I was like, I do love this look.

[1946] A dirty hand?

[1947] Because it makes you masculine.

[1948] It just, yeah, it reminds me of like when I've had a hard day working on an engine.

[1949] You earn that.

[1950] Sure.

[1951] You kind of earn that dirt.

[1952] I get that.

[1953] And I liked it.

[1954] I was like, yeah, that's what my hand should look like.

[1955] Oh, wow.

[1956] Yeah, a little bit of grind.

[1957] in the nail beds, yeah, in the cuticle.

[1958] Yeah, they really collects her on the cuticle as well.

[1959] Sure, yeah.

[1960] This is for Monday, which means the Super Bowl will have already happened.

[1961] Is this weekend?

[1962] Yeah.

[1963] It is?

[1964] Yeah.

[1965] Holy fuck.

[1966] Yeah, I know.

[1967] I had not prepared myself for that.

[1968] I know.

[1969] It's this weekend.

[1970] And so sorry we aren't talking about whatever happened.

[1971] But congratulations, team.

[1972] Big time congrats to the players.

[1973] Great job, City between.

[1974] New York and L .A. Who do you want to win?

[1975] Do you care?

[1976] A, I don't.

[1977] Let's start there.

[1978] Yeah.

[1979] I do not.

[1980] But probably the Eagles.

[1981] Is it an underdog story?

[1982] Well, Mahones, this will be the third time Mahones been in four or five years.

[1983] Yeah, but the Eagles also have won recently.

[1984] Have they?

[1985] Or a top seed.

[1986] I know so many dudes from Philadelphia.

[1987] They're going to like, this is.

[1988] Yeah.

[1989] I'll never even have a feeling like this.

[1990] Well, maybe when Max won two seasons ago.

[1991] under the tightest of margins and under lots of controversy, contravacy.

[1992] I know these Philly guys are just like, it means so much.

[1993] And I also have some friends from Kansas City.

[1994] Yeah.

[1995] Shout out to my boy Craig at CWC.

[1996] Okay.

[1997] From Kansas City.

[1998] This is a huge moment for him.

[1999] When we were in Hawaii, I hit him up.

[2000] Oh, wow.

[2001] So I want it for Craig, but then for McElhenney, I got a, you know.

[2002] Oh, God.

[2003] You're a house divided.

[2004] I'm a house divided, but it'll stand.

[2005] But was it Kansas City?

[2006] City last year?

[2007] Two years ago.

[2008] When the Rams.

[2009] The Rams won last year.

[2010] Kansas City lost two years ago.

[2011] Rams won last year.

[2012] To TB12, my hero.

[2013] So I think because I already rooted against the Chiefs once when I was rooting for my boyfriend Tom Brady, it feels more natural for me. Who lost last year?

[2014] Cincinnati Bengals.

[2015] Okay.

[2016] CBs.

[2017] Okay.

[2018] Because Josh Hutcherson was at our Super Bowl party.

[2019] Rooting for the Bengals.

[2020] Yes.

[2021] And I felt so, so bad for him.

[2022] Yeah, I remember.

[2023] And then for a second, I thought it was Kansas City.

[2024] So I thought, oh, I want them to win now so Josh can win.

[2025] Right.

[2026] But I'm all wrong.

[2027] Yep.

[2028] Okay.

[2029] That's right.

[2030] But I guess if you're really trying to carry the torch for Hutcherson, then you should root for the Chiefs because the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Bengals.

[2031] That might not be right.

[2032] No, I think the Chiefs beat the Bengals.

[2033] Yes, because it was like a three point.

[2034] It was a fucking a field goal.

[2035] So, okay, yeah.

[2036] So you got to root against the Kansas City Chiefs.

[2037] they're the ones that prevented the Bengals from going to meet the Eagles.

[2038] I'm brooding for the Eagles for Josh Hutcherson.

[2039] I guarantee for some people, they're getting irate right now to hear how haphazardly.

[2040] Like, if it's your team, and you're like, they fucking got there.

[2041] This is incredible.

[2042] And to hear us, it's kind of like half in on it, it's got to be infuriating.

[2043] Sorry, guys.

[2044] Sorry, Philadelphia.

[2045] Sorry, Kansas City.

[2046] Sorry.

[2047] We're going to, I'm in it for the halftime show.

[2048] I know, Rihanna.

[2049] Riri.

[2050] I still love that painting that person did for us.

[2051] Oh, yeah.

[2052] I think it was just a, was it a painting painting or was it a picture on the internet?

[2053] No, it was a painting of her as a giraffe.

[2054] And me as a section chella.

[2055] Yeah.

[2056] Oh my God.

[2057] All right.

[2058] Well, that was Natasha.

[2059] And I'll see you soon.

[2060] And by the way, so you can hear me say it, not in front of her.

[2061] Her show's exceptional.

[2062] Yeah.

[2063] It's so fucking good.

[2064] I love Ryan Johnson.

[2065] Yeah.

[2066] Rye, Rye.

[2067] Bye Ryan Rearie.

[2068] Oh, my God.

[2069] Yeah, he's a sex jackal.

[2070] Love you.

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