S10 E4: [Emma] Monster Inside

[0] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to something was wrong early and ad -free right now.

[1] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[2] I'm Dan Tversky.

[3] In 2011, something strange began to happen at a high school in upstate New York.

[4] A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast.

[5] What's the answer?

[6] And what do you do if they tell you it's all in your head?

[7] Hysterical.

[8] A new podcast from Wondry and Pineapple Street Studios.

[9] Binge all episodes of hysterical early and ad -free on Wondery Plus.

[10] Something Was Wrong is intended for mature audiences.

[11] Episodes can discuss topics that can be triggering, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence, suicide, and murder.

[12] I am not a therapist or a doctor.

[13] If you're in need of support, please visit somethingwaswrong .com slash resources for a list of nonprofit organizations that can help.

[14] Some names have been changed for anonymity purposes.

[15] Opinions expressed by the guests on the show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of myself or audio chuck.

[16] Resources and source material are linked in the episode notes.

[17] Thank you so much for listening.

[18] According to the latest 2015, CDC National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 43 .6 % of women, nearly 52 .2 million in the U .S., have experienced some form of sexual violence in their lifetime.

[19] Drug -facilitated sexual assault, or DFSA, is defined by experts as a non -consensual sexual act in which the victim is incapacitated or unconscious due to the effects of alcohol, a drug, and or other intoxicating substances.

[20] Dozens of drugs, including ethanol, can potentially be used to commit sexual assaults, but GHB and Rohypnal are the most common drugs used.

[21] Victims are sometimes reluctant to report incidents because of embarrassment, guilt, or perceived responsibility, or because they do not clearly remember the assault.

[22] I'm Tiffany Reese, and this is, something was wrong.

[23] You think you know me, you don't know me well.

[24] My name is Emma.

[25] I'm a 35 -year -old woman located in Baltimore, Maryland.

[26] So in 2002, I met Drew in high school.

[27] I was 14 years old, and he was 19.

[28] He was one of my brothers' best friends.

[29] He was in this really big regional, kind of new rock, metal band.

[30] And he was just everyone's crush in high school.

[31] He was the cool guy.

[32] He was handsome.

[33] He was artsy.

[34] He was basically Paul Rudd and Clueless, that way, this really handsome guy.

[35] Though they were just friends at first, Emma and Drew kept in touch throughout their high school and college years through social media.

[36] I'd always had a crush on him.

[37] We kept in contact through MySpace and Facebook and always kind of flirted every now and then.

[38] That fall, Emma was back in her hometown visiting from college.

[39] She saw Drew was on MySpace and messaged him to see if he'd like to meet up for a drink.

[40] while she was home on break.

[41] This was technically, I guess, our first date, the first time I had seen him since high school.

[42] I had just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship.

[43] It was very verbally abusive and at times physically abusive.

[44] So kind of running to someone familiar was really comforting to me at that time, being that he was my brother's best friend and someone who I grew up with and knew a lot about their past.

[45] So we had a bunch of drinks that night.

[46] So we went back to his place.

[47] We had started to mess around and he started to push things forward and I had said no. And he kept pressing and kept pressing.

[48] And something about me that is pretty critical to my mental history is that I have PTSD and I have something called a freeze response.

[49] So if I'm really nervous or I'm really anxious, I just freeze and I can't move.

[50] So that happened, and that was the first time that we had sex.

[51] I didn't really think anything of it because he was so doting and nice after.

[52] I wasn't used to that kind of treatment, took me out to dinner, held me, did all the sweet things, and I was also still kind of had that teenage crush lingering throughout the years.

[53] Within a month, Emma and Drew made their relationship official.

[54] At first, they dated long distance and were living about an hour apart.

[55] It was tough.

[56] It was challenging because in your early 20s, you're drinking a lot, trust is up in the air.

[57] So we had a lot of arguments at first, but we stayed together.

[58] Despite these arguments, Emma felt lucky to receive so much support and attention from Drew that she hadn't received in her past relationships.

[59] He said all the right things.

[60] All my friends loved him.

[61] He was very sweet, doting the type of, like, chivalry that you would expect in like I get some So we stayed together, and it was at that time a pretty decent relationship, and I was happy.

[62] In February 2010, we decided to move together, so he moved into my city.

[63] At first, he struggled to find a job.

[64] He has an occupation of a bartender or sometimes server, depending on where he was working at the time.

[65] I had just started an internship with my company, and I was making very little money to get by.

[66] But this is really where we started in my business.

[67] relationship financially covering everything Drew and I had done together.

[68] I was the main provider of the relationship.

[69] So when Drew and I had moved in together and I was financially supporting him, I had a number of friends come to me and family members come to me with concern of how much I was providing for Drew.

[70] My best friend was really concerned when she found out he had no car.

[71] So I was his main source of transportation or he would use my car.

[72] And I suppose she had saw that as a red flag.

[73] My mother had also said the same thing, like, oh, you are making such little money and barely doing anything for yourself.

[74] And you are living in this nice apartment, downtown, and you're supporting this man. And so that was really the first time I had anyone come to me with an issue on Drew.

[75] And of course, I blew it off.

[76] I blew it off.

[77] I was happy to support him.

[78] I loved him.

[79] Emma was thrilled when Drew finally got a job, but she was a bit concerned about where he would be working.

[80] Drew was working at a local bar.

[81] And of course, as someone who was drinking a lot, you can imagine.

[82] As he is in this position, he continued to drink even more as a bartender.

[83] So it was just something that he was doing near every day in our relationship.

[84] In those moments, I could catch him on his phone a lot, texting back and forth.

[85] of people.

[86] And one day, you know, being the suspicious girlfriend, took his phone and I found these direct messages to a younger woman he worked with.

[87] She was about 17.

[88] She had posted a picture of herself online, and he had directly messaged her with sexual comments, and she hadn't replied.

[89] And I was baffled.

[90] I froze, which is what I do.

[91] Shocked by what she had discovered, Emma tried to calm herself down, gather her thoughts, and think about how she wanted to approach Drew.

[92] He was disgusting in these comments.

[93] He had never said anything to me like really, really vulgar.

[94] It was always very sweet, genuine, doting, and he was vulgar with this girl as talking about what he would do to her.

[95] And I was really shocked by not only the content, but also the fact that he did that.

[96] And it's clear she wasn't interested because she hadn't replied.

[97] And so when I had finally gotten the nerve to address them about it, he had said, oh, that's just the way that people in the industry talk.

[98] You're in a different industry.

[99] You don't understand what it's like to be in the service industry.

[100] It's been so many years since you've been out of it, which wasn't true.

[101] It was about five years or six years since I had been out of the service industry.

[102] But that's what he had said.

[103] I was super upset naturally and kicked him out.

[104] Two nights after Emma broke up with him, Drew showed up with flowers and tears in his eyes.

[105] He begged Emma to get back together with him, saying he would do anything to win her back.

[106] That was the best person he ever met, like all these things I hadn't really heard before.

[107] And I took him back.

[108] I took him back.

[109] So the relationship was okay for a while, and we had our ups and downs for a couple of years.

[110] We did have some various scary arguments in between through drinking.

[111] So that had really become, after about a year or two from that incident, really drinking just became the thing that we did together.

[112] And it was, I guess, a way for me. never really got over those comments and just wanted to feel numb.

[113] Even though things weren't perfect, Emma and Drew continued their relationship and eventually the couple became engaged.

[114] We took a trip to the beach and he proposed.

[115] We were engaged.

[116] He was at one of his shows and I was supporting him there.

[117] It was everything I had thought I wanted.

[118] I remember I used to pester him all the time.

[119] Like, when are we going to get married?

[120] I thought marriage was something that you do with, you know, your late 20s.

[121] 20s, mid to late 20s, you get married, you have kids.

[122] It's just this thing I thought that you need to do.

[123] And I really wanted that.

[124] I thought it would fix us.

[125] I thought it would make us happy.

[126] I thought it would be this commitment that would keep us together forever and that I wouldn't have to be alone.

[127] And I would marry this seemingly wonderful man. So in May of 2014, we were married.

[128] Our wedding was beautiful, was a beautiful day.

[129] Though Emma was excited to be getting married, a few moments of the day gave her a sinking feeling.

[130] I remember walking down and looking at my mother and I remember seeing my mother's face in my siblings' wedding.

[131] I remember seeing her in my sister's wedding.

[132] And she was just so happy and smiling the entire time.

[133] And I remember looking at my mother and she wasn't smiling.

[134] And I had no idea why she just didn't seem happy.

[135] I think of that now.

[136] If you see a mother of the bride who's really approved of a partner, they're beaming.

[137] So it was something that I think back on maybe red flag or something I should have asked, why aren't you smiling or what's going on?

[138] He at the wedding had gotten so drunk that he passed out after our reception.

[139] So I was pretty much alone for majority of the evening for our wedding night.

[140] But I was still happy.

[141] I guess in the facade, I thought, well, you know, this is.

[142] a good guy.

[143] Again, no one's going to love you like this.

[144] And that's something I kept saying to myself, just, no one's going to love you like this.

[145] He made it seem that way in everything that he did that he was the best that's going to get.

[146] He's going to love me endlessly.

[147] Shortly after the couple married, they moved to a new city for a job opportunity for Emma.

[148] She continued to financially support Drew, who occasionally worked when he got bartending gigs.

[149] Probably within a year after our marriage, it became very tumultuous.

[150] So his drinking had increased so much that he had totaled my car and he had attempted to run away from the car.

[151] We got in a lot of trouble for that and I was just livid because this car was my first big purchase as an adult.

[152] Your real first adult purchase, I was so proud of myself.

[153] I had saved and built myself up and he had just crashed it like it was nothing.

[154] And it really took a turn on our relationship and just started to feel numb.

[155] I just started to become very, very depressed.

[156] Now as I think back, I kind of call it my sweet phase where I just was so numb to everything in that relationship in my life.

[157] At the time, I just started to notice, like, how much he was taking out of me, not only financially, but he had depended on me so much.

[158] So a couple years later, we bought her first home.

[159] I was still numb all the time.

[160] And how we even got the home is he had contacted the realtor to let him know that we wanted to put an offer without consulting me. And of course, like, he had no money in his bank account to cover the house and had not consulted me. Emma recalls how powerless she felt after the couple moved into their new home.

[161] I was at such a point in my life where I just let anything happen.

[162] I couldn't retaliate.

[163] I had no voice and just something in me broke.

[164] And I had many days where I couldn't get out of the bed.

[165] I had migraines all the time, which now.

[166] that I know and contribute to anxiety and depression.

[167] And, of course, like, no sex drive.

[168] So my ex -Drew would constantly use that against me to say things like, oh, well, if you don't want to have sex, maybe someone else will want to have sex with me. And that always was a point of contention for us.

[169] Or he would use my mental health against me and said, if I didn't fix myself or make myself better, he would leave the marriage.

[170] And I was terrified because that I would be alone with anxiety and depression, with the undiagnosed anxiety and depression at that time, not knowing it was going on with me, and it was really scary.

[171] And that's really the point, really the year when our marriage just started to have a dark side.

[172] I'm Dan Tversky.

[173] In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York.

[174] I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad.

[175] I'm like, stop fucking around.

[176] She's like, I can't.

[177] A mystery illness, bizarre, symbol.

[178] and spreading fast.

[179] It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls.

[180] With a diagnosis, the state tried to keep on the down low.

[181] Everybody thought I was holding something back.

[182] Well, you were holding something back intentionally.

[183] Yeah, yeah.

[184] Well, yeah.

[185] No, it's hysteria.

[186] It's all in your head.

[187] It's not physical.

[188] Oh, my gosh, you're exaggerating.

[189] Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem?

[190] Or is it something else entirely?

[191] Something's wrong here.

[192] Something's not right.

[193] Leroy was the new date line and everyone was trying to solve the murder.

[194] A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios, Hysterical.

[195] Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[196] You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad -free right now by joining Wondry Plus.

[197] She struck him with her motor vehicle.

[198] She had been under the influence and she left him there.

[199] In January 2022, local woman Karen Reid was implicated in the mysterious death of her boyfriend, Boston police officer John O 'Keefe.

[200] It was alleged that after an innocent night out for drinks with friends, Karen and John got into a lover's quarrel and route to the next location.

[201] What happens next depends on who you ask.

[202] Was it a crime of passion?

[203] If you believe the prosecution, it's because the evidence was so compelling.

[204] This was clearly an intentional act.

[205] And his cause of death was blunt force trauma with hypothermia.

[206] Or a corrupt police cover -up.

[207] If you believe the defense theory, however, this was all a conference.

[208] up to prevent one of their own from going down.

[209] Everyone had an opinion.

[210] And after the 10 -week trial, the jury could not come to a unanimous decision.

[211] To end in a mistrial, it's just a confirmation of just how complicated this case is.

[212] Law and crime presents the most in -depth analysis to date of the sensational case in Karen.

[213] You can listen to Karen exclusively with Wondery Plus.

[214] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

[215] That spring, a regular who visited Drew's bar approached him about purchasing a nearby local bar that was put up for sale.

[216] Drew had always wanted to open a bar slash music venue and the space was perfect.

[217] It was this beautiful, gorgeous, like dark, mid -century lights and the sound sounded so good.

[218] It was just like a magical place to be in.

[219] I had felt because Drew had finally gotten to fulfill the dream that he's always wanted, that this was going to be huge for our relationship.

[220] We're going to be happy.

[221] He's going to have a purpose.

[222] He's going to stop drinking as much.

[223] We're going to be better.

[224] And I was really happy to support him at that time.

[225] I had gotten investors to invest in the bar.

[226] There were times that I purchased things for the bar and purchased things.

[227] Obviously, everything at home is covered by me. But I was happy to do it.

[228] He finally got his dream and I was happy for him and super excited to be a part of it.

[229] I mean, he doesn't want to be part of it.

[230] of a cool music venue bar.

[231] It was really fun at first, just to be a part of something that big.

[232] It was a big thing for the community as well.

[233] Drew and his business partner's bar quickly became a local hotspot and grew in popularity.

[234] As the venue continued to do well, they were able to host bigger music acts, which was awesome, until the neighbors of the bar began to make formal noise complaints.

[235] They didn't have a ton of investment on the property to do proper soundproofing, The neighbor was pretty much right next door we would call and complain, and so they were really cautious about which bands they would book and had become overly cautious about just bands in general who would come in.

[236] So maybe just a little over a year after the bar had opened, they had booked a band that was, I guess, noisy, a fun, loud band that was very popular locally.

[237] And Drew's business partner, being cautious of the noise complaint, had basically pulled the plug on this band and initially was pretty cool about it.

[238] Like, hey, I'm sorry, we're just getting these noise complaints.

[239] The noise complaint issues continued when Drew's business partner went on social media and made a post saying that he would no longer allow punk or hip -hop acts to perform at the venue.

[240] The post quickly became a flurry of conflict, as some comments.

[241] commenters felt his post was racist, pretentious, and disrespectful to the popular local band that hadn't been allowed to finish their set.

[242] So it took a big hit.

[243] And my ex was just broken about it.

[244] It had resulted in some of his staff leaving and his staff being angry with the way that they were treated.

[245] They had to let go staff because business was not as lucrative as they had hoped.

[246] And so letting go staff and staff then is taking to social media and angry ways.

[247] And it just led to this fury of hate for the venue and for the bar.

[248] I had done my best to lift drew up.

[249] He was pretty unresponsive at that time, had not really taken any action into addressing things with his business partner or anything with his staff.

[250] So I felt a really strong connection with his staff.

[251] I always felt like a strong kinship with them.

[252] And so I I would call them and check in on them, see how they were doing, see how I could help and try to rectify the situation any way I could.

[253] Because obviously, this doesn't just hurt the business.

[254] It hurts the staff involved and they're innocent.

[255] And as this process was going on, I see the way my ex is handling it.

[256] And I'm also seeing just him just completely being unresponsive and basically taking his business partner's side in that, oh, it's fine.

[257] Like, he's right.

[258] This isn't the type of music that I wanted in my venue.

[259] you.

[260] And I just started to lose, or I started to, I guess, wake up from that slumber that I had in that numbness.

[261] And I had started to have a lot of self -reflection in those past few months, really just trying to figure out, like, what am I doing?

[262] Like, why am I the one calling his staff?

[263] Why am I the one trying to, I'm taking his battles on social media and I'm getting direct message from these internet trolls.

[264] And I'm like, what am I doing?

[265] He's not out here.

[266] Protecting his dream is.

[267] business.

[268] I am.

[269] I'm out here.

[270] I'm battling.

[271] And I just woke up and I just said, I do this for everything that he does.

[272] I support him financially.

[273] I support him when he's upset.

[274] I feed him, everything.

[275] So I just realized that I was basically married to someone who was just sucking the life out of me. During this time of reflection, Emma starts to realize that her relationship was taking a serious toll on her mental health and happiness.

[276] I just woke up.

[277] I started to realize how much he had manipulated me with money.

[278] And a flurry of memories throughout a relationship kind of hit in those past few months.

[279] The drinking, the manipulation seemed like him not coming home from the bar and telling me, oh, I just drank too much, so I just stay at the bar.

[280] And when he totaled my car, when we had these really, really, really, crazy drunk arguments and him threatening to leave and him telling me that there's something wrong with me because I don't want to have sex with him because I was depressed because I was sad.

[281] He started to try to embarrass me at staff parties.

[282] He would get so drunk and tell his bosses that I wouldn't have sex with him.

[283] And it was really embarrassing.

[284] So he had taken every opportunity to embarrass me in public when it used to be this grandiose love.

[285] thing and then he starts to feel me slip.

[286] He's getting angry.

[287] And it was awful.

[288] And I realized that I just couldn't deal with it anymore.

[289] I needed to find myself.

[290] I needed to get myself back.

[291] So in July of 2019, we decided to separate or I had confronted him and telling him that I wanted to separate.

[292] I felt that our marriage was one -sided.

[293] And he was very upset by the whole situation, of course, and had mentioned that he didn't want to get a divorce.

[294] And so we tried for a few months.

[295] I thought, you know, I've given this guy nearly a decade of my life.

[296] Surely, we can repair this.

[297] But it just wasn't.

[298] It was too far gone.

[299] The things throughout a relationship that I had blocked out from my memory, the times that when I really needed help when I was in a dark depression and where he would just tell me to suck it up where there are times in our relationship and every time I had said no to sex and still had sex anyway.

[300] After trying to work on their relationship for a few months, Emma had enough and asked Drew to move out.

[301] I just woke up and realized I can't do this anymore.

[302] This cannot be repaired.

[303] So Drew had moved out and he moved into an apartment in his bar.

[304] So that was where he lived.

[305] We had remained friend.

[306] I guess throughout that time, and anytime I had brought up the concept of divorce, he had basically changed the subject, wasn't into it.

[307] He had mentioned that he felt like he could win me back, that this could be fixed, and he would brush it off.

[308] And to be honest, I was afraid of serving him the papers at that point in time, just because there was still that little part of me and saying, you can't get better.

[309] He's the only one who's going to love.

[310] love you like this, there is nothing better out there.

[311] And it's almost like he put that in my brain and I couldn't get it out.

[312] Anytime we talked about the relationship, he would just say, oh, well, I'm so glad you're doing you.

[313] Okay.

[314] All I do is cry.

[315] All I do is stay in here and I have no friends and just made me feel so guilty all the time about the decision of the separation and me wanting to end the relationship.

[316] And it's my fault and that he constantly told me it was a poor decision.

[317] Emma had felt sorry for Drew and guilty for leaving him, but that changed a few months later when she learned some shocking information about Drew.

[318] I had remained friends with various employees who had worked at the bar, and one was a former employee, and I never knew why she left or why she quit.

[319] It wasn't something we had talked about, really.

[320] I was just seeing her for just a social occasion, wanted to hang out with her.

[321] We really got along well.

[322] And so at her house, we started talking about the bar, started talking about the incident.

[323] And then she had told me, well, the last straw of the bars when Drew sexually harassed one of his employees who was a 21 -year -old girl brand new to bartending.

[324] And I shook my head and was like, what?

[325] So she had went on to tell me that there were many incidents where he would force himself on this young girl and that he would send sexually explicit messages to her and texts.

[326] And she had also mentioned that in this time, like, he was using his knowledge of bartending and his status as the bar owner to kind of control the situation and control.

[327] her.

[328] She was much younger and she needed this job for income.

[329] This was her first bartending job.

[330] She wanted to learn the art of bartending.

[331] And he was one of the best to teach.

[332] He was very good at what he did.

[333] He had one ton of different cocktail competitions.

[334] He was really, really good.

[335] And she wanted to learn.

[336] And he knew that.

[337] And so he used that position to sexually harass and I found out later assault her.

[338] So I was livid.

[339] I was shocked to hear that because I, on the other hand, I would get calls from him, this mopey, sad guy.

[340] All he could do was think about me. Oh, here's the song I wrote about you.

[341] Yeah, I was looking at our wedding photos today.

[342] He had a couple dogs and you split dogs in the separation and just used that.

[343] So here I was hearing this mopey sad guy and then hearing this story of this predator and thinking about like, oh my gosh, This can't be real.

[344] I was just so livid.

[345] I was so mad.

[346] When I was meeting with his former employee, she had let me know that prior to Drew and I's separation, he was praying himself on his younger employee.

[347] I always kind of had those hunches.

[348] And little memories kind of like came up to me when I would see him like hugging girls that I didn't know or talking to them in dark corners at bars in certain situations.

[349] where I just kind of brushed off, and at that moment I just kind of realized, you know what, I bet he was unfaithful, but I would not have anticipated of him being a predator or being that aggressive towards a person.

[350] Never would have, I predicted that he would use his stature as a bar owner, and let alone his employees to use that status to pray against them.

[351] So it was heartbreaking.

[352] Did you confront him right away?

[353] Like you said you were angry, which is completely understandable.

[354] No, so I didn't confront him about it because I knew that he was trying to avoid the divorce papers.

[355] And I had called my lawyer about it.

[356] Should I confront him with this issue and the lawyer knowing that I wanted to file and wanted to get this thing done as soon as possible?

[357] And he had cautioned no at that time because there was no proof.

[358] I had no proof.

[359] Maybe I could have gotten proof by just didn't know.

[360] I don't think I could take it.

[361] So at that time, I had not addressed him with anything, but I did try to keep my cool with him.

[362] And so I had attempted to file divorce with him.

[363] And that was basically our only conversation.

[364] It was very transactional.

[365] He had declined that he would not sign anything.

[366] And he would make mention a lot of when I would buy something new or something for the house, like a footstool or whatever.

[367] He'd be like, well, when I come into money soon and just kind of made it, all these, like, mentions of how he's going to come into money.

[368] And truthfully, I was scared that he was going to ask for spousal support.

[369] I was scared that he was going to come after me and I was going to have to support him forever.

[370] Because I had no proof at that time.

[371] I had no proof.

[372] And knowing now what I know, he would have just denied it.

[373] As you're processing that on your own, how are you coming to terms with this information so far?

[374] So at first, like, I just froze I didn't know how to respond to it or how to digest it to know that he was praying on this poor young girl.

[375] I was a mess.

[376] So I would talk to my friends.

[377] I hadn't told my family at that time.

[378] I'd talk to my best friends and let them know what happened.

[379] And they're like, we got to get you divorced.

[380] And they're like, but you've got to protect yourself.

[381] So in December 31st, so having several months at that point of having that secret on my belt, Yet I had heard no other instances from this person and part of me still hoping that it wasn't true, but I was still trying to get the divorce on that day.

[382] I was scrolling through my phone and I see a story with my ex's face on it, with Drew's face on it.

[383] Basically, it was just his face in saying that to beware of this sexual predator or something like that.

[384] I'm trying to remember the exact words.

[385] And I am confused and I look towards the next story.

[386] I see a former employee, a different former employee had shared a story from a young girl detailing the sexual assault of my ex -husband.

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[397] So as I was scrolling through Instagram, I saw a story from a former employee of my exes, and it shook me. This story had my ex's face on it, and it had called him a sexual predator, and clicking into the next series of stories.

[398] I see this story from a young girl who had hung out at a bar with my ex -husband that she was just talking to him about music and how much she loved his bar and was interested in learning how to record and he invited her to his bar.

[399] And she had went on to discuss like how she had been drinking a lot.

[400] They had been drinking a lot at this bar.

[401] And she wanted to leave.

[402] So she walked out and my ex followed her and he had kind of pushed her against something and started kissing her and she pushed him back and he went after her again and I guess she bit his lip and ran away because he was being really forceful.

[403] The young woman said that she and Drew struggled a bit more, but thankfully she was able to get away from him and run to her car.

[404] And then minutes later, he had messaged her on Instagram and she had a screenshot in the story saying that next time I'm going to have to hold you down.

[405] And so indicating that he would rape her.

[406] Emma was in complete shock.

[407] She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

[408] And then probably an hour later, I see more and more stories.

[409] Just flooding my news feed were these women who, Had talked about how my ex had used his bar as basically his predator playground.

[410] He would use his status of this bar owner, this place that I supported him, this place where I praised him for how well he was doing in his job.

[411] And he used this place to manipulate women and to get women drunk.

[412] They were so young.

[413] It's just something that I could never get out of my mind, like these young, impressionable.

[414] Women.

[415] Heartbroken, Emma couldn't help but think about how she, too, had been sexually assaulted in her 20s and the lifelong impact it has on her.

[416] When I was the younger, 20 -something -year -old woman, remembering all the assaults that I had gone through and just thinking about what it did to me, and I was just broken for these girls.

[417] And it broke me all this guilt, all this anger.

[418] And I just didn't know what to do.

[419] I was in the car.

[420] A friend of mine was driving, and I dropped my phone and just started shaking and couldn't breathe.

[421] And my phone's just going off, going off, like, these new notifications and people calling me, people texting me. It continued for days where I was getting text, calls.

[422] It was just everywhere that the stories blew up.

[423] They were on every social media group, true crime group, like, that was local.

[424] It just blew up.

[425] It was everywhere.

[426] So everyone knew without even having to talk to me, like, well before I could even tell my parents they knew from Facebook.

[427] My siblings knew from Facebook.

[428] They knew every little detail that my ex had done to these people, that it was just like a knife was just cutting me every time I would read a story or I still at times don't know how to react to that.

[429] It just caught me. It just broke me. I'm sorry.

[430] I can't imagine how traumatic that must have been.

[431] to be processing that all at once.

[432] It sounds like a literal nightmare.

[433] Yeah, it was a nightmare.

[434] What is your family saying?

[435] Like, are they surprised?

[436] Are they angry?

[437] So a lot of people were surprised.

[438] My friends first and foremost were probably the most surprised because they're like, wow, he's so sweet -natured and seemed to love you so much.

[439] Like even when you were separated, he would, like, treating you like you were gold.

[440] And never did they think that he could be violent.

[441] I remember my friend when she found out and she was reading through the stories and she was like, I never would have predicted this.

[442] I never would have predicted that he would be so manipulative and to assault women this way and to be so aggressive.

[443] Desperate for more information, Emma began doing her own investigation into Drew's background.

[444] I had contacted previous bars where he'd worked at in different cities and contacted young girls, the ones that I was close with.

[445] And I just wanted to say, hey, I just wanted to talk to you, see you if you're okay.

[446] And I wanted to know, like, if my ex ever did anything to you, then I'm so sorry and I'm here.

[447] And I wish I could have protected you.

[448] And those who I did reach out to, they had not been impacted.

[449] But there were a few who were like, well, I wasn't surprised.

[450] I always thought he was a creep.

[451] So my brother -in -law came to me. And when he found out, he said there was always something false about him.

[452] He just seemed false.

[453] And he's like, everyone I met in your family and everyone's spouses, they're genuine and real.

[454] But Drew is false.

[455] And that really stuck with me. And that's something I hadn't really heard before.

[456] And just thinking through that, like, yes, he was false.

[457] I was tricked into thinking he was this sweet person, but there was this monster inside.

[458] Did you contact any of these women that?

[459] or posting on Instagram.

[460] I really wanted to, like, being a survivor myself, when I had worked at a bar and when I was 19 years old and I was raped by my boss and I know everyone heals differently.

[461] And I didn't want to trigger anything.

[462] So I was, I wanted to so badly.

[463] But I had been advised by everyone, like, don't reach out.

[464] You might make it worse.

[465] And that was the last thing I wanted to do is trigger anyone.

[466] or I didn't want to mess with anyone's treatment plan if they were proceeding with that, and I hope they are, or whatever works for them.

[467] So I was just, I wanted to.

[468] I had, like, my finger on the direct message so many times, and I had friends just kind of walk me off the, you know, ledge there, like, don't do it.

[469] Don't message them.

[470] Were you seeing at this point the bar's response on social media?

[471] had they posted a response?

[472] So the bar had, just because as a result that he was the co -owner of the bar, took to the bar's social media sites, and they basically kind of responded and kind of brushed it off and said, these are allegations.

[473] I think they had a couple of posts, like couple posts and delete situations, trying to go back into that time.

[474] And it had somewhat of a sympathy or, you know, kind of half -assed sympathy for the victims and saying that, oh, yeah, he's going to seek therapy.

[475] Our heart goes out to anyone.

[476] Then I think they had eventually posted and said that he was no longer with the bar employed.

[477] But it kind of went through a series of posts.

[478] I think of a couple of posts and deletes.

[479] And, of course, people just kind of going after them on social media.

[480] But at that time, I couldn't read what they had posted.

[481] Any mention of him, I was like having a panic attack.

[482] Or a mention of the bar, I was having a panic attack, so I didn't go to Facebook or Instagram much or any social media much.

[483] But I do recall them making excuses.

[484] Going back to when I was meeting with one of his former employees, I could tell, like, in her eyes, they're really bracing herself, like, oh, wow, she doesn't know any of this stuff.

[485] I mean, this is what happens when you're, I guess, just all wrapped up into somebody.

[486] I never would have assumed that kind of violence to someone, like a completely.

[487] stranger and a younger woman.

[488] I never would have anticipated that.

[489] And no, I had no idea.

[490] So after you learn all of this, can you talk about how you got through the following weeks afterwards?

[491] What did you do to take care of yourself?

[492] Because I assume when you discover something that is so shocking and life -altering, it takes a pretty big toll on you.

[493] Yeah, it definitely does.

[494] It went through a pretty dark spot.

[495] Like there were times when I was drinking a lot, like drinking as much as I possibly could.

[496] I had some really, really dark thoughts that I was scared to tell friends and family.

[497] You know, I felt so much guilt at that time.

[498] I just felt so much guilt and just seeing these girls' faces just kind of race through my mind wanting to protect them.

[499] And I just remember when he opened the bar and you started hiring people and I said, please protect your female employees.

[500] It's very important that they feel safe.

[501] I remember saying that to him a lot because he knew what I went through with my former boss and how horrible that was for me. It really changed me. And he's like, oh, I always am.

[502] I always make sure someone closes with him.

[503] He made it seem like he was so protective over them, almost like big brother type, you know, sweet, big brother caring for these young women who worked for him and finding out that's the complete reverse of any woman going into that bar.

[504] So I remember he called me probably a couple of days after the flurry of the internet, you know, the whole like internet just blew up in my world.

[505] He had called me and asked, oh, hey, have you heard this thing about me?

[506] And I said, yes.

[507] And he said, oh, this girl, what she's saying?

[508] She's lying.

[509] We were dating.

[510] And I said, well, what about the others?

[511] He said, it isn't true, I don't do this.

[512] It's flat out lied and said he didn't do any of these things when there were screenshots galore and said, that's not who he is.

[513] I am not this predator.

[514] They make me out to be.

[515] I do not assault.

[516] I do not rape women.

[517] And I said, well, apparently you do.

[518] And I needed to sign these divorce papers now.

[519] And this anger took, like everything that I was afraid of presenting with a divorce paper was like, no, you need to get this done.

[520] I need to get out of my life.

[521] I need to get out of my life because I am even just thinking about him, even seeing his face, saying his name is giving me just nothing but anger and panic attack.

[522] I had to get away from him.

[523] He did agree to divorce, and I had decided I really needed to uproot my life.

[524] There was so much of him tied into this city, and there was so much of us tied into the city.

[525] It was the city where, you know, bought our first home that we got, married.

[526] This was a city where I lost myself.

[527] I lost myself and I also, it's a constant reminder that I funded my ex's playground, like predator playground.

[528] And I just couldn't, I needed to leave.

[529] I felt disgusting everywhere I looked because that was our home.

[530] I felt dirty.

[531] And so I had decided that moment, like, I'm going to move and I'm going to sell this house and I'm going to get divorced from this horrible person.

[532] And he was so beaten down at that time, he finally agreed to sign the papers and to get out of my life.

[533] And so we were officially divorced.

[534] It only took us a couple of months to file and get divorced.

[535] I had texted him at the divorce and it's like you are the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I will never forgive you and I hope I never see you again.

[536] And it's awful.

[537] I really wanted to remember thinking through divorce, like early before I found all this stuffed out.

[538] I wanted it to be amicable.

[539] I don't like anything things in a negative way.

[540] I couldn't say anything else to him other than you're a terrible person.

[541] And I hope I never see you again.

[542] That's what I said to him.

[543] How did you feel when you were able to say that and finally get the official approval?

[544] It felt good because At least I said it, that it was off my chest, and I hope that in some part of himself that he recognizes what he did.

[545] But there's still kind of ringing back to when he had originally called me about the assaults that he basically just denied everything.

[546] And in my mind, I'm like, he probably just denied it.

[547] He just washed it off.

[548] But I needed to say that I never want to see him again.

[549] It's definitely hard.

[550] I mean, that was a decade of my life to this person.

[551] and a decade of my life lost to this person.

[552] I didn't even know this monster who had this an evil side in him that could be capable of doing this to innocent people.

[553] So it felt good to say that and I felt lifted.

[554] So I had to leave and it's the best thing that I think I could have done for myself.

[555] I sold my house.

[556] I got divorced and I moved to a brand new city all within like two months.

[557] It was nuts.

[558] And people were like, whoa, why don't you calm down?

[559] I'm like, no, I need to get out.

[560] I had this surge of energy.

[561] It came across me and I was just using that anger and fury to just get it done.

[562] And so I moved.

[563] And then I had started doing some more EMDR therapy so I could deal with these issues.

[564] I kept taking my regular treatment for my anxiety and depression, but I kept putting off therapy.

[565] I was using that anger so I could leave.

[566] And I was using that as a driver.

[567] So I had to keep that anger in me to keep moving or else I would just freeze and sink and never leave.

[568] And since then, just going through therapy weekly and it's been amazing and eye -opening.

[569] And it started to help me out a lot with the guilt that I was facing with these women and trying to go through each individual memory that we had throughout our marriage and our relationship.

[570] EMDR, it's been incredibly helpful for anyone in PTSD.

[571] It's been very effective for me. It was really a blessing for me to move here and to also start that form of therapy.

[572] It's still hard, though.

[573] I still see those girls' faces.

[574] I still think about them all the time.

[575] I still want to talk to them.

[576] I want to see how they're doing.

[577] I want to make sure they're okay.

[578] And I also want to congratulate them because there's a big thing of what happened to me in my 20s.

[579] I was so terrified of exposing this person.

[580] I never told anyone.

[581] I was just so scared of what would happen.

[582] This younger generation, they have the bravery to address this publicly and to expose, and to expose him.

[583] And so a part of me just wanted to say, wow, that's amazing.

[584] You're really, really brave for doing that.

[585] When I was your age, I was too scared.

[586] I couldn't do that.

[587] I personally think you're all quite brave, all quite strong.

[588] A follow -up question I had for you is, do you know if any of his victim's filed police reports?

[589] So I had heard that there were some girls getting together to file a report, but I don't know if they followed through with it.

[590] I hope so.

[591] I've really, really tried to keep out of it.

[592] For your own sake, yeah, 100%.

[593] Yeah, it's kind of important.

[594] I had to protect myself still at the same time.

[595] Part of me wants to check into it, see what they did.

[596] And maybe one day I will.

[597] Maybe I can do that, but I'm also still trying to be cautious.

[598] I don't want to mess up anyone's treatment plan or trigger something because I have no idea what they're going through.

[599] And I know what they went through, but I don't know their process of how they prefer to heal.

[600] I respect that greatly.

[601] The last question I want to ask you is, what do you think you will take forward from this experience?

[602] What is the major lesson that you have personally learned from this experience that you will carry with you as you move into other relationships in the future?

[603] I think a lot of it is trusting myself, trusting the people around me, being aware.

[604] So I've definitely think I'll carry that with me. I've promised myself to never lose myself in a person again.

[605] It's scary, let alone, like, all the terrible things that he did, I lost myself.

[606] And so really trusting myself is something that I need to carry forward.

[607] And also something that the light in this situation is that these next generation of women who are coming are vocal and they're strong and they're badass and they're out there and they're going to expose the people out there, out there.

[608] And that gives me so much hope and strength and knowing that we're becoming so much stronger.

[609] We're tired of brushing things under the rug.

[610] We're tired of being quiet and I'm super proud of the women who came forward.

[611] So I love that aspect of it, just how strong they are and the strength they have.

[612] Thank you so much for sharing your story.

[613] And I have found it incredibly inspiring, like you said, not only hearing your story, but to hear so many women come forward and sort of unite and stand up and be inspired by one another.

[614] It's just really incredible.

[615] So thank you again so much for being here.

[616] Oh, sure.

[617] No, thank you.

[618] Thank you for giving me a chance to talk about this.

[619] And it's been helpful for me as well.

[620] Something Was Wrong is an Audio Chuck production, created and hosted by Tiffany Reese.

[621] Our theme song was originally composed by Gladrags, covered this season by Basic Comfort.

[622] Think you know me, you don't know me, well.

[623] So, what do you think, Chuck?

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[625] If you like something was wrong, you can listen early and ad -free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

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