Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend XX
[0] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.
[1] Want to talk to Conan?
[2] Visit teamco .com slash call Conan.
[3] Okay, let's get started.
[4] Hi, Alex.
[5] Welcome to Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.
[6] Hello.
[7] Hey, Alex.
[8] How are you?
[9] Good.
[10] How are you?
[11] We're doing great.
[12] Thanks ,ona.
[13] Hi.
[14] Nice to see you.
[15] How's it going?
[16] Not too bad.
[17] It's a beautiful California weather.
[18] Won't have that for a while.
[19] You're in California right now?
[20] Yeah.
[21] You're in Palm Springs.
[22] Mm -hmm.
[23] Is that where you hang out mostly in Palm Springs?
[24] No, not at all.
[25] My uncle lives here, so we had Thanksgiving here.
[26] So it's a big family reunion.
[27] That's nice.
[28] So where do you mostly spend your time?
[29] Leadville, Colorado.
[30] Oh.
[31] Tidal Mountain Town, but I'm not home much.
[32] Very nice.
[33] I change out my suitcase a couple times a year there.
[34] Where do you spend most of your time?
[35] Well, I work seasonal jobs.
[36] The last year I was in Antarctica before that in Africa.
[37] I'm about to go back to Antarctica for about a year.
[38] So, all over.
[39] I want to hear about this because I'm very intrigued by Antarctica.
[40] What do you do in Antarctica?
[41] I was a janitor on the research base there at McMurdo.
[42] It's like the largest base down there.
[43] There's about 500 ,000 people in the summer, about 100 for the winter.
[44] Oh, my God.
[45] So it's deserted in the winter, practically.
[46] Yeah, and it's dark too.
[47] Have you been there during the winter?
[48] No, I'm about to go back for my first winter.
[49] I'm really excited.
[50] It's going to get weird.
[51] You're going to spend a winter in Antarctica.
[52] Yeah, it's going to get weird.
[53] Now, first of all, it's going to be really weird.
[54] And you're going to be spending it on a base.
[55] And all I can think about is that movie.
[56] Oh, the thing.
[57] The thing that takes place in Antarctica.
[58] And man, is it, it's such an intense environment.
[59] How are you worried about going to Antarctica for the winter?
[60] I mean, yes and no. I'm more excited.
[61] I mean, I'm glad I did a summer first because I don't think, you know, like, it's a lot.
[62] It's a different world, but I'm ready for it.
[63] I'm excited.
[64] Okay.
[65] Well, okay.
[66] Just tell us what life is like on the base.
[67] You work as a custodian.
[68] Is that you say?
[69] Yes, a master of the custodial arts.
[70] I mean, Antarctica itself is like one and a half times the size of the U .S. and there's like about 50 bases, about 15 different countries.
[71] They're all very, very spread out.
[72] So none of them are, you know, you can't, like, visit any of the other ones, really.
[73] But McMurdo is the largest one.
[74] It's American base because they have a lot of field camps, a lot of research out and about.
[75] But life on the base is, I don't know.
[76] I mean, it's a lot of work.
[77] Like, you're there to work.
[78] So that's, I guess, the only downside.
[79] You're there to work, but are you living in dorm?
[80] Are you living in barracks?
[81] Are you living in dorms?
[82] Yeah.
[83] Yeah, I mean, they're more or less dorms.
[84] So, like, part of the Antarctic Treaty is, like, leave no trace.
[85] So everything has to be semi -permanent.
[86] And then, you know, not taking up as much space just for heating purposes.
[87] I mean, I guess a lot of purposes just building as well.
[88] So, yeah, it is kind of, like, college -style dorms.
[89] Like, everyone has a roommate.
[90] And then, like, bathrooms down the hall.
[91] Yeah, it's very dorm style.
[92] And how do you, do they give you any kind of text?
[93] or psychological testing, because I think I would go insane.
[94] I'm pretty certain that if you put me in the winter in Antarctica with, you know, 50 other people in dorm -style living, I would be the one that snaps, and I would snap very quickly, within half an hour of the helicopter leaving, I would snap.
[95] Yeah, it would be about half an hour, maybe, you know, I'd just say 35 minutes.
[96] Yeah, you would become the thing.
[97] I would be the thing, yeah.
[98] It would be about Conan.
[99] True story, yeah.
[100] Going from place to place, just doing bits.
[101] I'm driving people crazy.
[102] I think it would be entertaining at least.
[103] So what is that?
[104] For a while, and then I'd just be crying and I'd go insane.
[105] What do they do to make sure that you don't lose your mind?
[106] No, there's a lot of testing.
[107] I mean, it's mostly like health testing, you know, physical, like dental.
[108] I think it's a bit of psychological.
[109] There's not like, you know, they're not showing you the photos of the, like, pictures, which you imagine any of that.
[110] Yeah, I think it's, you know, that's why they want you to do summer first when they can get you out if you do go a little crazy.
[111] But it's more of the, like, physical background and stuff.
[112] They just want to make sure that you never have to go to a doctor.
[113] There's nothing that's like, would be wrong because you would be stuck down there.
[114] You know, say like a gallbladder scan or if any, like, stuff like that comes up or like your whiz and teeth out.
[115] Yeah, but if something, I mean, sometimes things just happen.
[116] They do have a way to get you out of there if they need to, right?
[117] I hope so.
[118] Oh, no. This sounds to me, go, go.
[119] This sounds to me like, Alex, this sounds to me, I don't know.
[120] They can test you for so much, but sometimes things just happen.
[121] Oh, absolutely.
[122] I take care of myself and I routinely, you know, take care of my body and I have things checked.
[123] But I'd say about, I don't know, every three or four months, I have major organ failure.
[124] And it's just something that happens when someone hits my egg.
[125] Yeah.
[126] I'm resuscitated constantly.
[127] I mean, yeah, like you could fall and break your leg.
[128] I think there was like a sort of evacuation a few years ago.
[129] I mean, I just have to be careful.
[130] And I guess, you know, the better chances, if you're healthier going in, the better chances you'll come out healthy, I guess.
[131] Do you ever go outside when you're there in the dead of winter or you're not allowed to?
[132] Oh, no, you can go outside.
[133] Like in the summer, there's all kinds of hikes and stuff.
[134] It's beautiful around.
[135] I'm, no, I'm fascinated with the winter.
[136] The winter is what fascinates me. If I, if you go out, now first of all, I don't know, and I, this is a dark joke, I don't mean it to be, but with global warming, I don't know if it's like 55 in the winter there now.
[137] I don't know, I don't know what it is, but it must be terribly cold.
[138] Yeah, no, it's really cold.
[139] I was checking the weather there this week when it's light out.
[140] It ranges from like 15 to 20 degrees, that's during the summer.
[141] I mean, I know like the coldest temperatures on Earth are in the winter, but it feels nice, it's dry.
[142] dry cold, I guess.
[143] So it doesn't feel like, you know, like when it's humid, it's a different kind of cold.
[144] But it's the wind that will really get you.
[145] And in the winter, you are mostly inside.
[146] I also think it's Antarctica that'll really get you.
[147] Yeah, that's fair.
[148] He got me in there.
[149] No, no, it's Antarctica.
[150] It's at the bottom of the planet.
[151] It gets no heat.
[152] Wow.
[153] Now, you should stay in Palm Springs.
[154] It is pretty nice here.
[155] What's with you and your polar office?
[156] Can't you just find a nice temperate zone?
[157] Why can't you just go hang out in, you know, I don't know, Kentucky for a little bit, you know, just pick some medium.
[158] Well, I mean, I think Antarctica over Kentucky, like, yeah.
[159] I'm sorry.
[160] Kentucky was, I want to stick up for Kentucky here.
[161] Birthplace of Lincoln.
[162] Illinois claims that.
[163] Anyway.
[164] Is that right?
[165] Is that right?
[166] Is that right?
[167] Kentucky?
[168] I just think of like, what, whiskey or is that?
[169] And then his family moved.
[170] Bourbon.
[171] Yeah, bourbon.
[172] Yeah, that's where I, that's where my head went.
[173] That's where he spent most of his life was in Illinois.
[174] Oh, okay.
[175] I have two separate conversations going on here.
[176] And I'm happy where I am.
[177] Hey, speaking of bourbon, when people are forced to live in a very cold, secluded environment, many of them turn to alcohol.
[178] Yeah.
[179] How do they keep that on control at the base?
[180] It is rationed.
[181] Yeah, with.
[182] Oh, dear.
[183] And how is it rationed?
[184] How much alcohol do you get, let's say a week?
[185] You can have, like you get like three points.
[186] The status was in the summer.
[187] So like a point, I'll get you like a bottle of white or a six pack of beer.
[188] Oh, dear.
[189] So, yeah, so like.
[190] Yeah.
[191] I can't.
[192] That's a, how do you get a point?
[193] Well, you get three a week.
[194] Yeah, that's like your ration.
[195] You automatically get it.
[196] Yeah, yeah.
[197] You get three points.
[198] And then a point would be a bottle of wine or like a six pack of beer.
[199] Can you save up your points and then just go on a bet?
[200] That's what I would.
[201] That's what I would do.
[202] Yeah, technically you could.
[203] You couldn't save your points.
[204] You still have to spend them that week, but you could like stash what you got with your points.
[205] Hey, quick question.
[206] Can you buy meth with your points?
[207] And how many points?
[208] And how many points is it?
[209] Yeah.
[210] I have, you know, I haven't, I haven't found the guy down there yet for the meth.
[211] Just the best guy.
[212] Just ask, oh, trust me. You'll know him when you see him.
[213] He'll find you.
[214] Yeah, you know, we have to go through like the dental checks.
[215] You think it's easier to pick out, but.
[216] Yeah, he'll be someone who will not be having a dental emergency.
[217] Because he has no teeth.
[218] I'll find it.
[219] So that's the guy to look out for.
[220] Yeah.
[221] He may ask.
[222] equipment he only he only eats snowballs these are delicious that's your meth voice I like the meth voice so wow this is I'm learning a lot I'm learning a lot about Antarctica hey you know you seem like an interesting person Alex you seem to have this compulsion to go to these really you know far away places that no one else would ever go to.
[223] And I applaud that.
[224] I think it's very cool.
[225] Thank you.
[226] Yeah.
[227] I mean, you only live once and, like, especially after COVID, I was like, why, you know, like, if the world could end.
[228] Right.
[229] But I. Yeah.
[230] I'm tired of being in isolation.
[231] Yeah.
[232] I want to go to Antarctica.
[233] Well, I went during, and live in a cement army base.
[234] Well, I did my isolation differently.
[235] What I?
[236] No, your response to COVID is hilarious to me. It's absolutely hilarious.
[237] I can't take it anymore.
[238] I've got to go to Antarctica.
[239] Well, like, original response to COVID is I went, like, after initial lockdown, I went and I started searching abroad where I could go.
[240] And Tanzania is the only country that wasn't shut down.
[241] They just denied it completely.
[242] And they had, you know, really good prices for the Serengeti, for like the Wildebeese migration, for climbing Kilimanjaro.
[243] So I went there for three weeks.
[244] So it's not that they didn't have COVID.
[245] It's such that they just didn't accept it.
[246] Oh, yeah.
[247] No, I landed.
[248] And you went there.
[249] I landed.
[250] And I landed in Tanzania.
[251] got off the plane and they were like, you can take your mask up.
[252] There's no COVID here.
[253] And I was like, all right.
[254] That's not how it works.
[255] So how's that work out for you?
[256] Did you ever get COVID when you were intends to you?
[257] I did.
[258] I mean, we just had a very unusual reaction to, yes, I got COVID.
[259] I mean, did it.
[260] I mean, eventually, I think.
[261] Yeah, I mean, it never got COVID.
[262] I technically have still not had it, though.
[263] Who knows if I did?
[264] You haven't either, Eduardo?
[265] I just feel like putting that out there, I'm going to get it now.
[266] Yeah, probably.
[267] I mean, I'm not going to go chasing it down like you did.
[268] Well, it still took like nine months for me to get it that way and chasing it down.
[269] You went to the home of it.
[270] Yeah.
[271] You went to the one place that denied it existed just so you could get it.
[272] Well, that's so I can get it.
[273] I just didn't want life after lockdown.
[274] You know, I was...
[275] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[276] Please, please.
[277] I am not questioning any of your choices.
[278] Thanks.
[279] What I am going to ask you was, what's the other place you want to...
[280] What else is on the list?
[281] I mean, besides Antarctica, what else is on the list?
[282] I really want to do a river boat cruise across the Congo.
[283] I think that's what I'll probably do, the Congo River.
[284] I did the Amazon a few years ago for, like, a couple weeks of sailing into...
[285] Well, it's not sailing.
[286] It's like a motor boat until you keep us in the Amazon.
[287] And I want to do the same thing on the Congo River from Goma to Conchesta.
[288] Good for you.
[289] Yeah.
[290] Do you do all this yourself or do you go with friends or family?
[291] I used to go alone.
[292] I have a lot of friends.
[293] I mean, that I've met from all over the world as well.
[294] But no, I like traveling alone.
[295] It's, you know, it's no, but I guess it's, I haven't found anyone that'll do what I do either.
[296] So there's that.
[297] You know anyone.
[298] Say I'm off to Antarctica.
[299] you have to go alone.
[300] I mean, there's people in Antarctica.
[301] Some of the other ones, I guess, are a little harder to find someone to jump on a boat in the Congo with me. Alex, you have a pretty interesting question for Conan.
[302] Do you want to ask it?
[303] Yes.
[304] I was as curious of all the Disney princesses, which one you identify with the most?
[305] Oh, that's a really good question.
[306] I am terrible at knowing who the Disney princesses are.
[307] And I've experienced this because when my daughter was younger, we took her to Disney World and she loved that whole Disney World.
[308] And I just didn't know who was who, I have to say.
[309] I know my first ladies of the United States better than I know any Disney princess.
[310] So, I mean, I honestly don't know who they are.
[311] You might be Ariel the Mermaid, not just because of the red flowing hair.
[312] I was thinking Ilsa from Frozen.
[313] He likes the cold.
[314] But Ariel has that rebellious spirit.
[315] Yes, that's like me. Yeah, yeah.
[316] And also she turns from a fish.
[317] Well, a mermaid.
[318] Yeah, but her lower part of her body turns from fish to woman.
[319] She becomes a mermaid to a human.
[320] What's that?
[321] I have to say she becomes from a fish to a human.
[322] She's a mermaid.
[323] And she turns into she gets her legs.
[324] Right.
[325] Well, yeah, it took me a while for me to get my legs.
[326] And then, man, did I get some long legs?
[327] You know, like, I don't know.
[328] I really, I don't know.
[329] What?
[330] When I, when I, when she first asked this question, I really thought, Ilsa, because you would rather, you would like to isolate yourself in an ice castle.
[331] Well, there's always Rapunzel and you could have, you know, you could sneak boys over and they can climb up your hair, you know.
[332] Yeah, I'd love to sneak some boys over.
[333] What are you talking about?
[334] I don't know.
[335] I haven't well Matt You're an expert on all things Disney Rattle off all the princesses I'm not Well let's start in the beginning There's snow white And I don't know what order it goes But Cinderella Sleeping Beauty Then we get into like Bell Ariel Jasmine Oh for a guy you're a reader For a guy who starts off saying I can't really Alice in Wonderland That's because I'm a red -blooded American child So which one is Belle?
[336] Belle is beauty in the beast.
[337] She's a reader.
[338] She just wants to read all the time.
[339] Her dad goes to the castle and is captured by the beast and then she goes and saves him and like make...
[340] But also, Belle is able to look past the surface of people to see their inner beauty.
[341] So that won't work.
[342] No, that's me all over.
[343] That's me all over.
[344] I don't know.
[345] I look past everyone's physical flaws and I just see the inner beauty.
[346] Okay, no, he's not Bell.
[347] Is there a Cinderella?
[348] Princess?
[349] Oh, maybe that's the way to head.
[350] There's that character for Brave.
[351] That's Irish.
[352] Oh, that's right.
[353] Merida.
[354] You're Marita.
[355] I'm Marita.
[356] Yeah, because she's kind of fidgety.
[357] She's Scottish.
[358] Yeah.
[359] She's not Irish.
[360] She's Scottish.
[361] That's Scottish.
[362] That's close enough, though.
[363] Close enough.
[364] It's going to go over really well.
[365] There's going to be a Disney Army coming after us.
[366] That's why, again, I think Ilsa, because she was kind of a villain.
[367] All right.
[368] Well, I throw this to them because I, I don't know my Disney princesses.
[369] Alex, do you have a suggestion?
[370] No, I mean, I'm just trying to take up all of the princesses.
[371] I mean, I guess like Ariel, well, there's Cinderella, Pocahontas.
[372] Oh, yeah, Maleficent.
[373] Was she a princess, though?
[374] For your purposes, yeah, but don't worry about it.
[375] Right.
[376] Maleficent, yeah, she sounds more up my, yeah.
[377] She intends people great harm, yes?
[378] I think so.
[379] Yes, yes.
[380] Is that she from Sleeping Beauty?
[381] She was she Snow White?
[382] Okay, that makes sense.
[383] She's what?
[384] She's the mistress of evil.
[385] I think she's, and then she is Sleeping Beauty.
[386] Yeah, Sleeping Beauty.
[387] All right, well, listen.
[388] There's a lot of princesses.
[389] I could talk about Disney Princesses over here.
[390] You know, the good news is, Alex, you're going to have a lot of time to figure this one out.
[391] Because you're leaving, when do you leave for Antarctica?
[392] How soon?
[393] Saturday.
[394] So you're going to go from Palm Springs.
[395] to winter in Antarctica.
[396] It'll be summer for a couple months.
[397] This is going to be an incredible whiplash for you.
[398] This is like that guy last week that would go from the sauna to the freezing water.
[399] I know.
[400] This is going to be an intense change for you.
[401] Now, will you be able to listen to our podcast when you're down there?
[402] It takes, like, we don't have internet down there.
[403] What?
[404] We do, but it's like, remember, like, AOL, like, plug in, like do do do do Do you watch porn properly Not properly I mean you can download it and bring it down there Yeah I mean or yeah He's meant to be watched improperly Yeah Listen there's always a way Alex there's always away You're like downloaded at night and it'll It's kind of like a Napster file It'll take a couple days like old school Internet You better hope it's one you like I know I know.
[405] No, I'll probably have somebody save it and bring it down in, like, January or whatever.
[406] Oh, secondhand?
[407] I love that we figured out a way how to watch pornography, effectively on an Antarctic base.
[408] You got to be thrifty.
[409] Hard drive.
[410] USB drive.
[411] Can I ask a quick question?
[412] Do you guys ever hook up down there?
[413] Oh, yeah.
[414] Oh.
[415] It is like calling.
[416] You'll be porn down there.
[417] Well, that kind of girl ratio is pretty high, so it's very...
[418] Now, I can't.
[419] Oh, wait.
[420] So that's not frowned upon then.
[421] People accept that that's what happens.
[422] I mean, we're all adults, right?
[423] Or most of us, I guess.
[424] What?
[425] Well, there aren't any children.
[426] There aren't any children allowed down there.
[427] I'm so incredibly immature about these things.
[428] Oh, okay.
[429] So, wow.
[430] So, okay, things might get a boiling when you're down there.
[431] Some live porn.
[432] That pot may come to a simmer.
[433] The real reason for climate change.
[434] You guys are melting the ice caps.
[435] What an un -sexy way to talk about it.
[436] Oh, God.
[437] That's incredible.
[438] All right.
[439] Well, hey, maybe I'll be coming down there to join you guys.
[440] You'll kill it.
[441] I want to get my freak on.
[442] If that's the reason you come.
[443] Yeah.
[444] I'm going to show up with a. They'll say like, did you bring a park?
[445] No, I brought a. A velour shirt.
[446] Lots of condo.
[447] A red velour shirt.
[448] Six points of that cologne that Tracy Morgan.
[449] Jupe.
[450] And 800 condoms.
[451] Oh my God.
[452] Yeah.
[453] That's what I'm coming down with.
[454] 800.
[455] Have anything else in your...
[456] No, I have nothing else.
[457] I don't have a tooth brush.
[458] So I'll be hanging out with meth mouth.
[459] And...
[460] In Antarctic News, 100 scientists Set off into the wilderness with no provisions to mysteriously avoid.
[461] Avoid the velour shirt in three.
[462] We're taking over the base.
[463] We definitely have to do a remake of the face.
[464] Which is me and a velour shirt coming on to everybody, men and women.
[465] Wearing too much cologne and everybody is trying to kill me. Oh, can we get Kurt Russell to do that?
[466] No, trust me. I will talk to Kurt and he will be on board.
[467] Oh, heaven.
[468] Hey, Alex was really fun talking to you.
[469] And in all sincerity, be safe down there.
[470] And I do admire your adventuring and adventurous spirit.
[471] I think it's really cool and enviable.
[472] And I wish you safe travels.
[473] Thank you.
[474] That was very nice to meet y 'all.
[475] All right.
[476] We'll see you later.
[477] Bye.
[478] See you later.
[479] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.
[480] With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessey.
[481] and Matt Gourley.
[482] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
[483] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaireoff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Earwolf.
[484] Music by Jimmy Vivino.
[485] Supervising producer Aaron Blaird.
[486] Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples.
[487] Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm.
[488] Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
[489] Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are down.
[490] This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.