Ice-T

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dan Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by Mrs. Mouse.

[3] Hi, I was a mouse today.

[4] You just did a really mousy thing like seconds ago.

[5] Rob got us those crazy bagels.

[6] Yummy, courage bagels, shout out.

[7] I opened up mine.

[8] I do remember there are two halves and one of the halves I had already eaten half of, ironically, one quarter of the bagel.

[9] But when I opened it up, there was a, you couldn't call it more than a point one bite out of the other previously virgin side of the bagel.

[10] And I corrupted it.

[11] It was a mouse.

[12] There was a little mouse.

[13] You got confused on who's who's.

[14] You took the fakesest bite ever out of it.

[15] No, it was a real big bite.

[16] That was the tiniest bite ever.

[17] It really did look like a mouse bite.

[18] And then how did you put it together that it wasn't yours?

[19] When I opened it, I was like, huh, this is missing half of its half.

[20] This is three quarters of a bagel.

[21] Rob must have eaten half.

[22] Oh, because he's a rascal.

[23] Well, no, I just thought, oh, some of it.

[24] Rob decided to split this between me and him and he ate half of his half.

[25] Yeah, okay.

[26] Okay.

[27] All right.

[28] So I took a bite of my half and then I thought, hmm, Rob would never do that.

[29] No, as rascally as he is, he wouldn't cut a bagel in half with his teeth.

[30] Yeah.

[31] So I thought, oh, this must be dax.

[32] So I went back up and sure enough, there was a full -fledged, not -eaten bagel that was mine.

[33] And I left that mouse bite just sit.

[34] If I were a tyrant about justice, I would understand.

[35] insist that I take a 5 % bite out of your...

[36] It's available.

[37] Okay.

[38] But I don't even know if I could make a bite that small.

[39] I'd have to just sink my incisor into it and I tear like a parrot off a little bit.

[40] No, he's a huge...

[41] Oh, you...

[42] Well, I've gone in now.

[43] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[44] Yeah, no, that is not the bite you took.

[45] Okay.

[46] Speaking of rascals, Ice T is here.

[47] He is a rascal as we found out.

[48] Yeah, he's a...

[49] Truly.

[50] Yeah, he's been up to some stuff.

[51] We know he's a rapper.

[52] We know he's an actor.

[53] Currently in the last.

[54] longest running character, I know for sure, black character on television currently, and I think maybe just globally.

[55] Wow.

[56] At any rate, he's been on Law and Order Special Victims Unit, SVU.

[57] He's been on that show for two decades, basically.

[58] Additionally, he has a new season of Law and Order SVU, September 22nd on NBC.

[59] I fell in love with him, as you'll learn, from his album Power and also being.

[60] the title song of colors, the Sean Penn Robert Duvall movie in my youth in the mid -80s.

[61] I mean, he's one of the biggest rappers ever.

[62] Yes, but that's not what he's here to talk about.

[63] He's here to talk about split decision.

[64] A new book he is co -authored with a friend of his, split decision life stories.

[65] And it is about a friend of his who he used to do rascally things with, Rob Banks.

[66] But his friend went on a much different trajectory.

[67] It's a really fascinating story and spent a lot of time in prison.

[68] And they wrote a book about it.

[69] It's called Split Decision, Life Stories.

[70] Okay, so this month's prompts for Armchair Anonymous have a spooky theme because it's Halloween.

[71] Well, one of them is spooky.

[72] And another one's also.

[73] They're all spooky.

[74] Which one isn't?

[75] Waking up drinking.

[76] That's spooky?

[77] You could have woken up in a bathtub full ice and your kidneys are gone.

[78] You could wake up in another state because you pass out in someone's car and they didn't know.

[79] You know what's not spooky?

[80] Pooping at the gym.

[81] That's spooky?

[82] No, no, no. You would spook people if you were next to them and you were in a deep bend for a squat.

[83] All right, well, let's just lay them out.

[84] Okay, okay, let's walk through them.

[85] Okay, so question number one, what is the weirdest thing that's happened at a funeral?

[86] Okay, that's spooky death.

[87] Weirdest place you've woken up after a night of drinking.

[88] Or debauchery.

[89] Or Coke use.

[90] Right, that includes.

[91] Although you never go to sleep, so you can't.

[92] That's the upside of Coke because you don't wake up anywhere.

[93] You're always awake.

[94] Okay, the next one is the craziest ghost story that you've experienced.

[95] Right.

[96] If you've had an encounter with a ghost, please tell us.

[97] Your craziest encounter with a ghost.

[98] You get spooky.

[99] And spooky.

[100] Your spookiest encounter with the ghost.

[101] Okay, spookyest encounter with a ghost.

[102] And then lastly, in our once a month, Pootie series, in our Pooey series, this month's Pooley Prompt is, tell us about a time you had an unauthorized of action.

[103] at the gym.

[104] By the way, a gym can be loose a little bit.

[105] It could be a Pilate Studio.

[106] That's right.

[107] It could be an indoor track, a track and field event.

[108] Yeah, swim.

[109] Oh, oh, mama.

[110] Hard to hide there.

[111] So if you'd like to submit a story, go to www .armchairexpertpod .com and follow the instructions on the web page.

[112] Yeah, there's a giant bar at the top of the screen.

[113] Look at the giant bar.

[114] And let us hear these stories.

[115] Let's let it rip.

[116] So please enjoy iced tea.

[117] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and add free right now.

[118] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[119] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[120] He's an armchair expert.

[121] He's an Lerneryxper, it's fun.

[122] Let's party.

[123] Let's go.

[124] Okay, if you'll indulge me, I've been practicing this for 35 years, okay?

[125] Go for it.

[126] I know, Monica, you're scared.

[127] I'm so scared.

[128] I am a nightmare walking, psychopath talking.

[129] King of my jungle, just a gangster stalking.

[130] Living life like a firecracker, quick as my fuse.

[131] Then dead is the death that the colors are chews.

[132] Red or blue because of blood, it just don't matter.

[133] So I can die for your life with my shotgun scatter.

[134] We come to L .A., we never die.

[135] Just multiply colors.

[136] You know what?

[137] You said all the right words.

[138] I've heard all kinds of words.

[139] When I say vendettas of death, people have said all kinds of weird shit that didn't have nothing to do with vendettas of death, back the colors I chew.

[140] Can I hit you with my favorite rhyme in the whole song, though?

[141] Okay, go.

[142] You'll say to stop, but I'll say that I can't.

[143] My gang is family.

[144] Family is life.

[145] Peace is a dream reality is a knife.

[146] My color, my honor, my color, my all.

[147] With my colors upon me, one store to stand tall.

[148] Tell me, what have you left me?

[149] What have I got last night in cold blood?

[150] Young brother got shot.

[151] My homeboy got Jack.

[152] My mother's on crack.

[153] My sister can't work because they're all.

[154] On Show tracks.

[155] Are you impressed?

[156] Madness, insanity, living profanity.

[157] Then some punk claiming they understand me. Pump claiming, they understanding me?

[158] Give me a break.

[159] What word do you live in?

[160] Death is my set.

[161] Guess my religion.

[162] Oh, my God.

[163] How many times have people made you listen to them do that song?

[164] It's always humbling when people know your lyrics.

[165] And that's, I think, why we make records.

[166] It's normal for how people sing along with you.

[167] But when people can pick out the raps and come back bar, for bar.

[168] That's a good feeling.

[169] I appreciate that.

[170] Oh, that was a blast.

[171] I would say me and all my friends in Detroit knew that I had power on vinyl.

[172] I mean, this is it, man. This is big for me. I'm so excited to talk to you.

[173] Well, thank you, man. I appreciate that.

[174] It's always fun when you talk to people that really like you or fans or somebody that knows you versus people that are interviewing have no clue who the fuck you are.

[175] They're talking to you.

[176] So how long have you been in the NFL?

[177] I'm like, What the fucker?

[178] Who do you know?

[179] Oh, God.

[180] I'm a player, but I'm not a football player.

[181] You're pretty short for a power forward, but it's going well for you.

[182] How do you do it?

[183] Yeah, that's when the interview is going downhill fast.

[184] So I guess what interests me the most about you is something that I think I relate greatly to, which is I'm projecting.

[185] But I grew up around a lot of violence, a lot of hillbillies.

[186] You had to kind of stake out a persona so that you wouldn't get hurt.

[187] All my friends, they all came from trauma.

[188] Same thing as you.

[189] Dudes ended up in jail.

[190] A lot of dudes ended up dead.

[191] And getting to leave that, I really relate to.

[192] Like me moving to Los Angeles and going, oh, my God, you can get along with everybody?

[193] Like, you can look at a dude at Denny's and he just will smile at you.

[194] That's new.

[195] And holding on to some piece of that is your core.

[196] and yet allowing yourself to evolve and change, I guess the more I let go of that, the more my life is full of love and abundance and happiness and peace.

[197] But it's still my identity in this interesting way.

[198] We're victims of our situation.

[199] You can't really help how a kid's going to grow up when he grows up in a high -energy dangerous scenario.

[200] I mean, if you brought a kid over here that's been at war somewhere in the Middle East or something like that, he's got PTSD.

[201] He's not even a soldier, but he's got it.

[202] So there is something I think called urban PTSD.

[203] You know, if I hear a door slam, I'm ducking.

[204] Like, people are like, what are you doing?

[205] I'm like, yo, I grew up around this.

[206] 50 cents said, this ain't how my mama raised me is how the hood made me. And some people are just to the core, evil, and they just want to hurt things.

[207] A lot of other people are just surviving this situation.

[208] And if you take them out of that environment, they turn into totally different people.

[209] Yeah.

[210] I got fucked early in life orphan, having it rough.

[211] And my name's Tracy.

[212] You know, in the hood, they say, that's a bitch name.

[213] Yeah.

[214] Isn't your middle name also Lauren?

[215] Lauren.

[216] Yeah, you got double whammy.

[217] And I got light eyes.

[218] And I'm light skin.

[219] So you got to teach these motherfuckers real quick.

[220] Everything with light skin and light eyes ain't to be fucked.

[221] So I had to put on an energy.

[222] I had to gain some weight.

[223] As we say, get swollen a little bit.

[224] You have to put on a coat of armor to survive, or you're going to be prey?

[225] Well, now that I'm 47, you're 62.

[226] I'm 64.

[227] Oh, I didn't mean to disrespect.

[228] You know, now I'm on the other side of, you know, when you're getting toward your 50s and 60s, you're scared of saying your age.

[229] Once you cross the big 6 -0, you're proud of every damn year.

[230] Yeah.

[231] Okay, good.

[232] I'm looking forward to that.

[233] But I'll say when I look back on my friends and myself, the irony is all that bravado is I'm scared.

[234] Like, I'm scared if I don't let you know right away, your hands are going to be full.

[235] I don't know, you might win, but your hands are going to be full.

[236] Go on to someone easier.

[237] That comes out of fear.

[238] That comes out of, if you don't have that, you're going to pay the price.

[239] And so really, it's all kind of heartbreaking to me now at this vantage point.

[240] Almost none of those guys, except for the evil ones you're talking about.

[241] And I agree.

[242] Everyone else is just trying not to get fucked with.

[243] Yeah, it's survival instincts.

[244] I got a small bulldog.

[245] He's the rowdiest bulldog.

[246] because he's scared.

[247] So he's going to bite you.

[248] And, you know, we used to say in the hood, the worst person is a scared motherfucker because a scared motherfucker will kill you.

[249] If you think you're going to bully him, he's like, well, I can't fight you.

[250] I can't do anything.

[251] So you got my back up against the wall, and I'll kill you.

[252] So it's an interesting dynamic.

[253] Being tough is at a premium.

[254] That's all you've got.

[255] So they got these terms, toxic masculinity.

[256] Since the beginning of time, since the dark ages, male masculinity is always, He's been held as a premium, and it was also a commodity.

[257] The guy that had the biggest army, the soldier, even in the United States, we brag because we got the best killers.

[258] Do you remember the first time you were like, oh, I have to put on armor?

[259] Oh, yeah, elementary school.

[260] Do you remember when or why?

[261] I just remember early in my life being challenged.

[262] I remember there was this kid down the street.

[263] He was older to me. He would just fuck with the youngsters.

[264] He was a bully.

[265] And one day, he stood on my feet and looked at it.

[266] me. So I went home and I told my father and he said, what did you do?

[267] I said nothing.

[268] He said, you never let a motherfucker do that to you again.

[269] I don't care how big they are.

[270] You got to let them know the death's not going to happen again.

[271] I don't get a fuck if he beats your ass.

[272] Like my man said, they're going to go to a softer target.

[273] They want no resistance.

[274] So that's when I started street fighting.

[275] I got in a lot of fights growing up.

[276] And I didn't really stop fist fighting until I got really into heavyweight into high school.

[277] I fought all through junior high.

[278] In L .A., they call it a fade.

[279] That's a new slang.

[280] So you get challenged to a fight.

[281] You either back down or you say I catch that fade.

[282] When my bus came from palms when I was at junior high, we stopped at a park.

[283] And almost once a week there was a fight.

[284] Girls fighting, guys fighting.

[285] Oh, same, same.

[286] I said some of the best fights I've ever seen is girl fights in my junior high.

[287] Madness.

[288] Yeah, and they tell you, yo, go meet me here and they would fight at the bus stop.

[289] That way you couldn't get kicked out of school.

[290] Uh -huh.

[291] And you just learn hand -to -hand combat, so to speak.

[292] And this is before people were pulling guns and shooting all that.

[293] And once you got your ass kicked or you kicked the other person to ass, everybody would break it up and that would be it.

[294] Yeah.

[295] Your story, there's so many layers.

[296] Moving to Newark, then moving to L .A. So I think I knew that stuff, but I didn't know your mom died of a heart attack in third grade.

[297] And that would be enough.

[298] for you, I think.

[299] That would be enough.

[300] That'd be like a high enough A score that you're probably fucked going forward when you lose mom in third grade.

[301] But a lot of kids are single parents.

[302] So even though my mother died, she died at an age.

[303] When you're at third grade, you truly don't understand death.

[304] This was the first person around me that died.

[305] I didn't understand it.

[306] And in the era when my mother passed, the kids weren't involved in the funerals.

[307] Somebody died.

[308] You just got shuttled off to an aunt.

[309] That was it.

[310] They hit it from you pretty much to, quote, protect you, imagine.

[311] Which I honestly believe it did.

[312] Because still today, I don't go to funerals.

[313] You could be my best friend.

[314] If you pass, I want to remember us doing this interview.

[315] I don't want to see you in no box.

[316] I don't want that locked in my brain.

[317] What if just for shits and giggles I do that Dominican Republican funeral and they got me staged on a motorcycle doing a wheelie?

[318] Like, you might come to that one, right?

[319] That's kind of.

[320] I might watch it on the internet.

[321] The odds are impossible.

[322] Your dad also dies of a heart attack.

[323] At 13, you're definitely aware at that point, right?

[324] I'm aware, but I don't know what's going to happen to me. You already ain't got no moms.

[325] I'm living with my dad, and I got like a housekeeper lady that's helping us named Ms. Sononi, beautiful lady that was like a second mom to me. She was there.

[326] When my father passed, I was just like, what's going to happen to me?

[327] Like, I just didn't know what happens.

[328] Am I going to an orphanage?

[329] And for some reason, I didn't cry either.

[330] I'd already gotten that little cold.

[331] When they sent me to my aunt's house in L .A., it was supposed to be for the summer.

[332] They were trying to figure out what to do with this kid.

[333] And then all my clothes showed up there.

[334] And then I was there.

[335] I just didn't know what was going on.

[336] As a kid, what's you going to do?

[337] You're just going to do what the adults tell you to do.

[338] Yeah.

[339] I needed mail validation.

[340] I fucking had to get it.

[341] Like, am I on track?

[342] Am I a man?

[343] And I relied on my friends for that.

[344] And I was like, what do we do?

[345] You ride a wheelie?

[346] Okay, I'll do that.

[347] You jump this thing?

[348] Okay, that kind of got relegated to all my peers.

[349] And I wonder if losing your dad at 13, who stepped in?

[350] Who were you trying to get validation from that you were doing it?

[351] Well, I moved into my aunt's house.

[352] I had a cousin named Earl.

[353] He had already got out of high school.

[354] He was kind of like a black hippie.

[355] He thought he was Jimmy Hendrix.

[356] He was doing acid.

[357] And that's where I got my rock influences because he kept the radio stuck on KMET and K -L -O -S.

[358] I had to share a room with this dude.

[359] He was in a zone.

[360] I had another friend when I got to junior high named Billy Arnold, who was just like one of those kids that just had everything.

[361] He had a motorcycle.

[362] He had guns.

[363] He had drugs.

[364] He was that kid.

[365] He was an adult.

[366] And he lived in the house with his mother and his sisters.

[367] But this was the kid.

[368] He had a fucking fine -ass girlfriend in junior high school.

[369] Sure, sure.

[370] He was fucking.

[371] Yes, he was that guy, had all the best clothes.

[372] I was like, damn, I go to my house.

[373] I don't have no action like that.

[374] I'm living in a real restricted, because my aunt was a social worker, and she was an alcoholic also.

[375] So she was the person that would determine what kids would go to different homes, but then come home and drink a pint of gin at night.

[376] I wasn't fucking with her, but then my buddy Billy died before he made it to high school, riding his motorcycle through an intersection and got killed.

[377] Oh, my God.

[378] Being that free is maybe not that safe at that age.

[379] Yeah, that's a lot of freedom at 13.

[380] Right.

[381] I remember me and him, we used to steal his sister's car.

[382] We would get off the bus, then we'd run and steal his sister's car, and then we would drive back around the other bus stops so the kids could see us.

[383] We would be playing, I'm your pusher, I'm your mama, I'm your dad.

[384] And we played that record because it had the word nigger in it.

[385] It was the hardest record ever.

[386] You know, you say, play that part back.

[387] I'm that nigger in the alley.

[388] And, yeah, I lost my friend in junior high school.

[389] And, you know, it was just a weird situation at my aunt's house.

[390] So I couldn't really wait to get out of there.

[391] And I ended up getting out of there at 17.

[392] Okay.

[393] But, again, we just got a recap.

[394] You lost your mom in third grade.

[395] You lost your dad.

[396] And I guess it was probably sixth or seventh grade.

[397] And then you lose your best friend going into high school.

[398] This is an enormous amount of death.

[399] I have to imagine it kind of, well, A, it seems like death's quite possible and likely.

[400] It's around you, right?

[401] So this is a real option.

[402] It feels pretty near, I'd imagine.

[403] And also, life's not safe, right?

[404] Like, your worldview at that point must be, shit, this place ain't that safe.

[405] You can just drop all the time.

[406] I remember I was going to kill this dude.

[407] I had this guy that was fucking with me at Palms named Richard.

[408] He was giving me problems.

[409] wanting to talk shit, call me this down to third, and I was around him.

[410] I was like, I could beat this motherfucker's ass, but I wanted to kill him.

[411] So I had access to a gun from my next door, a neighbor, a 45.

[412] I was really set to murder this kid.

[413] I had stayed home from school that day, and I knew he was going to get off the bus.

[414] It was premeditated.

[415] It was murder one.

[416] And I was going to walk up to him and just murder him.

[417] I was that pissed.

[418] And I know how much that pressure can get on somebody where they feel like there's no fucking other answer for this.

[419] And I sat there that day.

[420] And when that bus pulled up, I was just like, he ain't worth my life.

[421] Because I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life in jail, too.

[422] And nothing never happened.

[423] I just backed down.

[424] I stood down.

[425] I had a whole day away from school to think about it.

[426] But when you get ready to kill, the thing about it is when they say guns kill, a cold heart kills.

[427] You zero out.

[428] I've been in many situations.

[429] I was in another situation where I was about to kill this dude.

[430] And before it happens, your body goes into this zero place.

[431] Like, fuck every fucking thing.

[432] It's a weird place.

[433] I'm not just talking about shooting in crowd.

[434] I'm talking about we getting ready to do this.

[435] You zero out and you go into this weird war.

[436] It's a dangerous place to be.

[437] Melly Mel had this record.

[438] He said, don't push me. I'm close to the edge.

[439] I'm trying.

[440] Not to lose my head.

[441] You never know when somebody is close to the edge.

[442] You never know.

[443] Yeah.

[444] Oh, I think about this in another way.

[445] I'm ex -drug addict.

[446] And occasionally I remember I'll be at 7 -Eleven.

[447] I'll think, you know, just because you quit doesn't mean everyone else.

[448] This guy could be up day four right now, not in his right mind.

[449] You were that way a lot.

[450] I think of that all the time.

[451] You just don't know where anyone's at on the ride in that moment.

[452] And also being young, you're not really ready to make conscious decisions.

[453] How old are you right now?

[454] 47.

[455] 47.

[456] If you look back to when you was 18.

[457] Monica, if you look back to when you were 18, both you guys, tell me what percentage of the shit you thought was correct.

[458] Oh, 100.

[459] Oh, that's held up?

[460] Yeah, it's held up.

[461] Oh, five.

[462] Yeah, yeah, 5, 10%.

[463] Also, to your point, I was never looking beyond the end of the summer.

[464] Right, right, right.

[465] Or at best, I was looking to like, let's make it to Christmas break.

[466] I'm never looking years ahead.

[467] Well, you couldn't.

[468] Your frontal lobe isn't even fully developed enough.

[469] to be able to do that.

[470] Yeah.

[471] When you're adolescence, you're actually almost insane compared to the way an adult would think.

[472] So you don't think of all these different things.

[473] Unfortunately, that situation, I thought about the ramifications of this action, and I saved my own life that day.

[474] Can I ask, too, I wonder if just the notion that you had gotten yourself there, I also imagine you didn't really have anyone looking at you.

[475] Mom's gone, dad's gone.

[476] If you do something that you're ashamed of, well, who's even around to witness this?

[477] I'm on my own.

[478] I fuck up.

[479] That's just me that knows, basically.

[480] That matures you fast.

[481] So when all of my friends can be broke, they got no money in their pocket, I would be broke with $100.

[482] I'd be broke with $500 because when I actually tapped out, I couldn't eat.

[483] So you could get broke with me, but you're going to go home to Mama's house.

[484] You're going to go to your cousin's house.

[485] And once I got out of high school, if I didn't have any money, I had no place to sleep.

[486] Being on your own, difficult.

[487] And there's a lot of adults that still aren't on their own.

[488] They live with their parents, someone's supporting them.

[489] Being on your own, it's hard.

[490] Just surviving, period.

[491] Paying your bills and eating is difficult.

[492] So what age do you meet Spike?

[493] I met Spike after I came back from the Army.

[494] So I went in the Army when I was like 18, 19, did four years.

[495] You had had a kid, right?

[496] Yeah, I had my daughter when I was in high school, when I was in the Army.

[497] When I was the 12th grade, I got my own apartment, $250 a month Social Security.

[498] I spent $100 on the crib, $100 on food.

[499] I had $50 in my pocket.

[500] So we're selling weed.

[501] We're trying to take that 50 and flip it.

[502] I had my daughter because I just was not that familiar with having sex.

[503] I was just young.

[504] You didn't have a dad to pull you aside and say, hey, here's how this works.

[505] And I'm old.

[506] You almost had to get a prescription to get condoms, you know?

[507] Yeah, they had the lame skin, just a saggy bag over it.

[508] It was not like it is now to give them out in school.

[509] So I'm like, oh, shit, she's pregnant, right?

[510] So me being an orphan, I'm like, well, I want the baby.

[511] She was too young.

[512] She was in the 10th grade.

[513] We had the child.

[514] I decided I'm going to have to get responsible.

[515] I went into the military.

[516] I did four years.

[517] Now when I came out, now the cats, there was small -time kids.

[518] Now they hustling, for real.

[519] Now it's not just weed.

[520] It's coke.

[521] They were robbing banks.

[522] They were doing everything.

[523] I just fell in place with them guys.

[524] and Spike pulled up.

[525] There were different crews.

[526] Like, we were in the 40s.

[527] Spikes from the 30s, which is called the Harlem Crips area.

[528] This is place off of Crenshaw, like 40 place, 30 place, those streets.

[529] Is that what it references?

[530] The way you break down L .A. gangs is in the blocks.

[531] So, let's say go down Crenshaw or western.

[532] All those go north to south.

[533] But if you're in the 20s, that's 20s.

[534] Those are the bloods.

[535] 20 outlaws.

[536] Pyrou are from Compton.

[537] There are a separate gang inside.

[538] of the bloods.

[539] If you got the 30s, those are Harlem Crips.

[540] You got the 40s.

[541] Those are now Crips.

[542] You got the 60s.

[543] Those are the Rolins 60 Crips.

[544] You got the 80s.

[545] Those are A. Trey Gangs.

[546] They're usually named after the most popping street in that 10 block area.

[547] Anything that's not a Crip is a blood by default.

[548] If it's a Crip gang, the Crip gang will have the word Cripp connected to it.

[549] So it's the Harlem Crips, Hoover Crips, West Side Crips, Underground Crips.

[550] Bloods are bounty hunters, bishops, Pyrus, Denver Lanes, Athens, Athen Park Boys, Inglewood Family.

[551] They don't call themselves Inglewood Family Bloods.

[552] They're just Bloods because they're not Crips.

[553] It's deep.

[554] So he comes from 30s, which would call the Harlem Godfathers, which just turned into the Harlem Crips.

[555] Don't ask me how the word Harlem got connected to an L .A. gang.

[556] Sure.

[557] That's another story.

[558] One of the things the players used to do, at this time, I'm hanging with the play.

[559] because I never was in a gang.

[560] I was hanging around with players.

[561] We would trade cars.

[562] So my boy, Nat, the cat had a jag.

[563] And one of these cats out of his crew, T -Money Bonaventure type.

[564] That's one of the most player named T -Money Bonaventure type.

[565] That's smooth.

[566] That's off the Pontiac Bonaventure.

[567] That's a luxury car there.

[568] I was with him when he got that name because we were trying to get to a party at the Bonaventure Hotel.

[569] Mm -hmm.

[570] And his name was just T -Money that night.

[571] This is a legendary story.

[572] They wouldn't let us in.

[573] And he said, bitch, do you not know who I am?

[574] I'm T -Money Bonaventure tight.

[575] So that stuck with him.

[576] But anyway, T -Money had a Russ Cadillac on Spokes, and we decided you guys ride our car for a minute.

[577] We'll swap cars like players do.

[578] And Spike was with him.

[579] And I see this cat leaning up against the car.

[580] The way we dressed was Sergio Kikini sweatsuits feel of sweatsuits, very high -end, Louis Vuitton, all that stuff.

[581] And I'm like, who's this player?

[582] And then he noticed me. And we just became friends.

[583] I just liked his energy.

[584] And Spike can talk.

[585] And I'm the talker.

[586] So we just click.

[587] What was his background?

[588] Because, again, if I zoom out and I go, oh, that's interesting.

[589] Every single friend I had grown up was from divorced parents.

[590] Oh, that's curious.

[591] I didn't realize it when I was doing it.

[592] But now I go, oh, did Spike have a similar background as yours?

[593] where you guys understood each other?

[594] I'm going to tell you the honest, God, truth.

[595] I had no understanding of Spike's parents or background or a family till we wrote this book.

[596] No shit.

[597] I knew Spike had a brother who was a gangbanger.

[598] That's why Spike had power over in his neighborhood.

[599] His brother was an OG named Turk.

[600] And then his other brother was a thief.

[601] He was a hustler.

[602] I knew that much.

[603] I didn't know about his mom, his grandma, all that stuff.

[604] I just learned that in this book.

[605] One thing about street cats, we don't divulge too much personal.

[606] information to each other.

[607] But that don't mean you don't see each other, right?

[608] Like, yes, I agree.

[609] You might not have sat down and had a big share -all.

[610] Like, I never screened for friends and say, oh, do you have a violent fucking stepdad?

[611] Let's hang.

[612] But damn it, if we all didn't have violent stepdad.

[613] You know, we saw each other somehow.

[614] So you and Spike become friends, and is it safe to say he's a little deeper in it than you are?

[615] No, I was deeper because I was already running a crew.

[616] So it was just more like he was in another team and he decided to come over to my team and bring his expertise to my team.

[617] Spike's athletic.

[618] Spike was a baseball player.

[619] And a lot of the stuff we were doing, some of the escapes were basically parkour.

[620] So I was very strategic in making the getaways.

[621] And you couldn't chase us.

[622] Like, if we got away 50 feet from you, you'd never catch us.

[623] It would just be difficult unless you was really in good fucking shape.

[624] And still, you had no reason to shoot.

[625] shoot us because we weren't using guns.

[626] And how much time did you guys spend together doing hood rat shit?

[627] Years.

[628] Was he your best friend at that time?

[629] Not my best friend.

[630] Nat DeCat was my best friend because that's where I was almost living.

[631] Spike would come and go.

[632] I was good friends with his cousin, Rich.

[633] Rich was the youngest hustler in the neighborhood.

[634] Spike and him hit a big lick early.

[635] And Rich was like 11 or 12.

[636] Bought us a bill and would drive it and through the hood sitting on phone.

[637] He was like Duggy Houser.

[638] Dugie Houser gangster.

[639] But we always had little kids with his, too.

[640] There was another kid.

[641] I don't like saying names of people that ain't in the book.

[642] Was another kid that was young.

[643] And that was part of the lick.

[644] We'd go in and we'd do the distraction and the kid would crawl behind the case.

[645] Rich would always do this thing where he would go into the back room and try to find a safe with his dick out.

[646] And if they called him, he'd be like, I'm looking for the bathroom.

[647] And they'd be like, What are you doing?

[648] That's clever.

[649] Hey, man, there's so much of this shit going on.

[650] You know, the funny thing is when we wrote the book, I didn't want to write a how -to manual on committing crime.

[651] So we brushed over a lot of shit.

[652] Unless the question is posed to me, I won't speak on it.

[653] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[654] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[655] What's up, guys?

[656] This is your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[657] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[658] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[659] And I don't mean just friends.

[660] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[661] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[662] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[663] We've all been there.

[664] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pain.

[665] debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[666] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[667] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[668] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[669] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[670] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[671] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[672] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[673] So you end up longest -running drama on TV, tons of albums, me being obsessed, knowing the lyrics of that song at 12.

[674] I shouldn't have known those lyrics.

[675] Where did the path diverge?

[676] The path started to diverge when rap kind of started to be the thing.

[677] And anybody in the game knows that you're going to run into the odds eventually.

[678] And I liked hip hop.

[679] Hip hop was so intoxicating.

[680] When I saw the breakers on That's Incredible, I was like, yo, this shit is dope.

[681] I want to do that.

[682] Now, I'd already learned how to make raps because I was rapping in high school doing gangbanger rhymes to keep the gangbangers at bay.

[683] So I just was doing it on the side, like I would go to clubs and I would rap.

[684] The thing of it was, as I would rap, I would never rap about anything criminal.

[685] I would rap like rappers rap.

[686] Throw your hands in the air.

[687] The parties over here, the parties over there.

[688] I would dress like the rappers.

[689] I would wear spikes and shit.

[690] I'm like trying to be hip hop.

[691] Then it kind of started to hit.

[692] You know, we did breaking.

[693] We got a platinum record off that.

[694] When I did six in the morning, the identity kicked in.

[695] And that was a crime rhyme.

[696] And the fans went bananas for it.

[697] And I was like, people really want to hear this negative -ass shit?

[698] Like, this is my life.

[699] And I just didn't realize how many kids were still involved in shit like this.

[700] So I said, you know what I'll do?

[701] I'll write it, but I'll always try to bank it into the problems that come along with it.

[702] In my other book, I had this story called Too Famous to Steel.

[703] I had a convertible Porsche all hooked up.

[704] I needed a part, and the part was on another hot car.

[705] So I'm telling my boys, get me the motherfucking part.

[706] Like, what's happening?

[707] And they were like, oh, man. I said, where's the shit?

[708] What's the car at?

[709] So to get to this car, you have to walk through the parking complex.

[710] I walk right past the apartment.

[711] I'm in the car stealing by myself and all these kids come outside.

[712] And they're like, ice tea.

[713] We want to take pictures.

[714] Now, these little motherfuckers probably saw me in breaking or some shit.

[715] Now I'm standing in a G -ride, stealing.

[716] Now the mother's come out.

[717] Oh, my God.

[718] Somebody got a picture of me standing in front of that hot force.

[719] Some fan out there.

[720] After that night, I called the homies.

[721] I'm like, this car can't be here in the morning.

[722] And they moved it.

[723] But that was the moment that I said, man, this right here, no more.

[724] Can't do it.

[725] Well, yeah, you realize it's time to pick and commit.

[726] Yeah, but dig this.

[727] I went broke when I picked rap.

[728] Even on a rap album back in those days, you might make after taxes a couple hundred grand.

[729] We could make that.

[730] a half hour.

[731] It's a pay cut.

[732] So I set my guys down.

[733] At that time, we had already created rhyme syndicate, all the different rap groups in L .A. And I told everybody, I'm done.

[734] I'm not breaking the law.

[735] I can't.

[736] And also, don't talk to me about anything you're doing.

[737] Treat me like I'm bugged.

[738] Treat me like the feds are watching me. Because I want to be able to pass a polygraph.

[739] I want to be able to say, I do not fucking know.

[740] You can't snitch if you don't know.

[741] Spike heard that message.

[742] and decided to continue.

[743] And also, I'm taking him on tour.

[744] You know, you might make a few dollars with me on tour, but nothing compared to what you can make in the street.

[745] Then I go back to my life, being iced tea, and you're kind of just waiting on the next show or something.

[746] What are you going to do?

[747] He knew he couldn't tell me about anything because I'd already made that clear and all this shit that was going on went on behind my back.

[748] Yeah.

[749] But obviously you hear when first he gets sentenced, what, to two or four years or something?

[750] Now, the first bid, we call that a vacation.

[751] Okay.

[752] Anything under five to a criminal is a vacation.

[753] I got to go away for, you know, 12 months, 18 months, 36 months.

[754] That's nothing.

[755] You shouldn't be in the game if you can't do five years.

[756] Don't even play with it because that's going to happen occasionally.

[757] So he did the first one, no problem, came back a little swole.

[758] But the bad one happened after this meeting, after this conversation.

[759] And he started dringling in, something happened.

[760] somebody got killed.

[761] Did Spike kill him?

[762] We didn't know what happened.

[763] And he went off the grid.

[764] He didn't make a phone call back to us for five years.

[765] Oh my God.

[766] Why do you suppose?

[767] You got a 35 to life bid.

[768] Why call home?

[769] Yeah, he was defeated.

[770] I'm dead.

[771] Well, not dead, but now I have to adapt to this new reality.

[772] Yeah.

[773] I'm going to be here for a minute.

[774] Fuck calling home worrying about what's happening on the streets.

[775] What's happening right here?

[776] I need to focus on this.

[777] If I'm going to survive this 20 years, fuck outside.

[778] This is my life.

[779] Yeah, so it's a weird experience to become iced tea.

[780] I don't know for you, but for me, it got coupled with a ton of Survivor's guilt.

[781] Crime is an addiction.

[782] It's just like drugs.

[783] It's just like any other addiction.

[784] The way you get addicted, you don't get addicted the first time you get high.

[785] You get addicted after you got on high a lot of times successfully.

[786] And before you know it, you're addicted.

[787] First time you break the law, you get caught, you probably'll never do it again.

[788] You know what I'm saying?

[789] Motherfocus tell me, oh, I've been to jail 10 times.

[790] I'm like, you should stop.

[791] You're not good at it.

[792] Whatever you're doing, you're not good at it.

[793] But when you've been successful like I was, maybe thousands of felonies and never getting caught, see, Spike at one point changed his name from just Spike to magic Spike.

[794] His ego was like, I'm uncatchable because we were so strategic.

[795] and what we did.

[796] He lost his mind.

[797] And when he got in this situation, which he never thought he would do because he thought he was playing it a special way, he didn't do the crime.

[798] He sent cats, but he sent amateurs.

[799] And at the end of the day, somebody unfortunately lost their life.

[800] Well, guess what?

[801] The law says, you sent these people.

[802] And it all hit him.

[803] He was so embarrassed when I talked to him.

[804] He was sad.

[805] You know, he was just like ice, man. You know, that's not what I do.

[806] do, man. We ain't never hurt nobody, man. I'm just like, fucked up.

[807] And I know I broke the code.

[808] I did something that we said was a no -no.

[809] But I was trying to get money, man. I was trying to build a war chest so I could be in the music industry.

[810] And I didn't want to ask you.

[811] And it was sad, man. We thought he was never coming home.

[812] When you get 25 to life or at 35 to life, that means you have to bring them a minimum.

[813] So 25 to life, that means you got to bring them 25.

[814] After that, they They can keep you forever.

[815] You go to the parole board.

[816] They say, come back in 15 years.

[817] You go again, come back in 10 years.

[818] They have that option.

[819] He did get out, though.

[820] What do you end up serving?

[821] He would call us, and I'm like, no amount of money can get you out of jail.

[822] You took a deal with no chance of appeal.

[823] The only thing we could do is help you when you go to that parole board.

[824] So we put money on the books, and we had to wait 25 years.

[825] Oh, my God.

[826] Wow.

[827] Yeah.

[828] And 26th year, he went to the parole board.

[829] And we did what we could do to stack the deck.

[830] We got the best attorney we could possibly get to walk him in there.

[831] But I told him, you got to change.

[832] You got to get your head right.

[833] So he started doing AA.

[834] He ain't even an alcoholic.

[835] You know why he did AA?

[836] Because he knew he had an addiction.

[837] Yeah.

[838] So he did A, hey, he did that.

[839] He started running the scared straight programs because he was a big guy.

[840] He did everything he had to do because I said, We'll meet you here, but you got to do what you got to do on the inside.

[841] I can't do that for you.

[842] I'm not going to sit in front of the parole board.

[843] You are.

[844] They'll look at you, and they can read bullshit.

[845] And they'll be like, you know what, Mr. His name is Alton Pierce.

[846] Come back in 10 years.

[847] On his first parole, he got out, 26 years on a 35th of life.

[848] And he's been home six years.

[849] He works at Cedars Sinai now.

[850] He has humbled himself, gave the game up.

[851] I'm done with that.

[852] Drop magic.

[853] and he's now helping COVID patients.

[854] It's his retribution, and he's trying to level his life out with God.

[855] Okay, so I watched you on Sways, and there's a couple of really profound moment when you were getting interviewed by Swayes.

[856] Yes, sir, yes, you're a Sway.

[857] It's just Sway, it's not Sway's.

[858] It's Sway's meaning his show.

[859] I got you, I got you, apostrophe, yes.

[860] Okay, you were explaining that lovers are who you come face to face with.

[861] Haders, they're across the street, and they don't cross the street, really.

[862] Except when they're on Twitter.

[863] Then they can come across the street.

[864] That's right.

[865] That's right.

[866] I thought you were doing this really beautiful job of trying to let them know that like you can just display love and guess what you're going to receive it.

[867] And one of the gals asked you, well, how do you punish your enemies?

[868] And you were like, I don't have that.

[869] I can't really speak on that.

[870] Like I've never had anyone come up to me in person and do this.

[871] And I don't know for me. And again, maybe I'm projecting, but I was like, it's heartbreaking really.

[872] there's so many people still that disappointment hurt enemies all those things are the thing they need to be thinking about the most and preparing for the most and it's most around them and it's their worldview and you can just see like god you were lucky enough to get plucked out right and through so much positive reinforcement started to learn there's a version of life i can have which is pretty much love yeah when i look around i can't believe how nice and kind the people in my life are and how actually gentle and peaceful my life is.

[873] I'm so grateful for it.

[874] And then yet also I'm heartbroken that you can't just hand that to somebody.

[875] You can't just go like, try the other way.

[876] See what happens.

[877] Over my whole career and the millions of people I've met, I could probably count the assholes out on one hand.

[878] When I was out on tour with Public Enemy, I remember we knocked this kid out.

[879] He was talking too much shit.

[880] Like he wanted to be on the bus and we like, no one can come on our bus.

[881] He was a fan.

[882] And then he decided just to step on the side of the bus and curse us all.

[883] out.

[884] Me and the S1Ws were just looking at him, and I was like, this guy's really filling himself right now.

[885] So I walked outside.

[886] I said, come here, man, come here, man. And I knocked him out.

[887] He didn't have a Twitter field between him.

[888] But on social media, everybody's behind their keyboards.

[889] They could say whatever, like they want to poke the lion.

[890] Some of them do it just for the reply.

[891] Some of them really hate your guts.

[892] But face to face, that hater will stand across the street.

[893] They won't cross in.

[894] The lover will come and say something to you.

[895] One of my mottoes you might want to take is don't worry about what people think about you, because they probably don't think about you that much anyway.

[896] Yeah.

[897] Yeah.

[898] Yeah.

[899] We have a saying in AA, what other people think of you is none of your business.

[900] Yeah.

[901] Which I also did.

[902] People have a problem with you.

[903] That's their problem.

[904] That's not my problem.

[905] You know, you're an evolved, nice, benevolent person.

[906] Does it ever break your heart that you can't just touch someone on the shoulder and go, just focus on the other thing for a minute.

[907] It has a lot to do with the environment they're in.

[908] Yeah, of course.

[909] I had a friend, one of my producers, Aladdin.

[910] He had made a lot of money with me. He used to come over my house.

[911] I was living in Hollywood Hills, and he would come over there, but he would be dressing like a gangbanger.

[912] And I'm like, why are you dressing like a gangbanger?

[913] He said, because I still live in Compton.

[914] I still got to go home.

[915] They don't know how much money I got.

[916] I got to live in this environment.

[917] So I told him, you need to move.

[918] So he took his money, he moved to Hollywood, North Hollywood, and he became a pimp.

[919] But his whole swag change.

[920] All of a sudden, he was dressing better, looking cool.

[921] You know, that didn't last for long either.

[922] But you're going to have to adapt to your environment.

[923] And a lot of the kids I'm talking to right now, they're just like, I want to be like you.

[924] It's too dangerous.

[925] Yeah.

[926] That's what I'm saying.

[927] Like, I don't know, it just gives me a lot of sadness.

[928] where I recognize that the stakes of everything for a lot of guys, young dudes, it's like, I get it.

[929] I get the stakes.

[930] But fuck, I want you to know there's a whole different existence on planet Earth.

[931] And it's worth trying to find it.

[932] You know what I never understood?

[933] Motherfuckers that ain't from that environment wanting that environment.

[934] My kids, they come from really nice backgrounds wanting to go in the hood or wanting that energy.

[935] That was stupid to me. That always has been stupid.

[936] I'm like, you from where?

[937] So I think colors came out when I was in sixth grade.

[938] Again, super violent fucking school.

[939] And you're in fear of that.

[940] And you see these guys that appear to be fearless.

[941] You think if I was this guy, if I was iced tea, if I was the dudes in this movie, I would be able to exist without any fear.

[942] Everyone around me would recognize, just don't fuck with this guy.

[943] The rich kids are just as fucking scared.

[944] Their stepdad's beating their ass.

[945] They're getting molested.

[946] that they're getting their asses kicked by this?

[947] You know, the violence and the trauma pretty much transcends all the shit.

[948] How many people love Mike Tyson?

[949] He's the ultimate fantasy.

[950] Anywhere I'm at, I can solve this problem in a millisecond.

[951] That's aspirational.

[952] I'm so safe if I'm Mike Tyson.

[953] Not recognizing, no, you're actually more likely to die, but you think I would be safe if I was that dude.

[954] I think that's the attraction.

[955] Is hip -hop represents fearlessness, bravado, toughness, and all these scared kids, they want that.

[956] Makes a lot of sense.

[957] But don't think we're not afraid of shit.

[958] We're just ultra -aware.

[959] We're just aware of all the threats.

[960] You know, like they say, head on a swivel.

[961] You're not really carrying that gun because you want to go shoot somebody.

[962] You're carrying that strap because they're shooting.

[963] And I'm not going to run around with a butter knife, but these motherfuckers got AK -47s.

[964] So all my friends that are grown, we call L .A. South Central, we call it the killing fields.

[965] Most of my friends have left.

[966] I got a couple of homies over here with me now.

[967] We're in Arizona, but they know that the streets are high.

[968] And the thing about the streets, when you got your feet planted in the streets every day, you know how it's moving.

[969] But when you're not out there every day, you don't really even know what's moving.

[970] And you're at danger.

[971] So people tell me, they're like, you go back to the hood.

[972] I quote Floyd Mayweather.

[973] They ask Floyd if he goes back to the hood.

[974] He goes, they robbing broke motherfuckers in the hood.

[975] Like, we interviewed 50 Cent and he basically said the same thing in so many words.

[976] He's like, I can't be around that shit.

[977] It's too desperate and they know I got shit.

[978] I'm at a disadvantage.

[979] When I was broke, I take off on you.

[980] I'll fight you.

[981] Now, if I hit you, you're going to fall down and sue me. So I can't walk around like you guys walk around.

[982] I can't do it.

[983] You know, there's a motto I always say, if you ever fuck with people with nothing to lose, they will help you lose everything you've.

[984] worked for.

[985] I got something to lose now.

[986] And even in the gangster world, once you get a family, you become softer.

[987] And the gangsters know that.

[988] And that's where they hit you.

[989] They're going hit you with your kids.

[990] They're going to find that soft spot.

[991] So I'm real soft now.

[992] I got a family.

[993] I got kids.

[994] I don't want to get sued.

[995] I tell them, Dex, I'm as nice as you'll let me be, man. I don't want that.

[996] But don't get it fucked up.

[997] Like, we could be nice or we can get into some bullshit.

[998] And I'm very comfortable with the bullshit.

[999] I'm very seasoned in that.

[1000] But let's not go there.

[1001] Let's just be friends.

[1002] If somebody was a serial killer and then he became a florist, is he a florist or a serial killer that likes flowers?

[1003] Okay, but with the book, though, there's at least some message, split decision.

[1004] The message is every single decision you make, From this second on, can change the trajectory of your life.

[1005] Everything.

[1006] When your girlfriend says, let's go out tonight and she's drinking, nah, I'll pass.

[1007] Or your boy's like, come on, let's go over this way.

[1008] You're like, gut feeling, I'll pass.

[1009] That could be a life or death decision.

[1010] So as young kids, you just don't think of everything like that.

[1011] But you have to.

[1012] And you have to say, I got to be conscious of every fucking thing I do.

[1013] A lot of my friends were in prison.

[1014] You know why?

[1015] They was getting high.

[1016] And they weren't really thinking things out.

[1017] Where you get desperate when you're an addict.

[1018] You do shit you wouldn't normally do.

[1019] I never done weed.

[1020] I never drank.

[1021] I never did any drug.

[1022] I recently did ecstasy.

[1023] Did you love it?

[1024] I found that be my favorite drug in the history of the world.

[1025] Because they told me it was a sex drug.

[1026] And I was like, I don't do drugs.

[1027] And she was like, you should try it.

[1028] We were in Miami.

[1029] And next thing, you know, I'm rubbing my legs and shit.

[1030] We got back to the hotel and, like, angels and choir music were coming out of the pussy.

[1031] I was like, I'm not here to promote X. No, no, no. He's already promoted all the drugs on this show.

[1032] I tell Monica all the time.

[1033] Don't leave Planet Earth without doing it.

[1034] You have that moment when you were fucking where you were like, I am in a porno.

[1035] I was in a porno before I started fucking.

[1036] I was walking around the room like Max Hardcore.

[1037] But the thing about even ecstasy right now, there's fentanyl and all these drugs.

[1038] I know.

[1039] I know.

[1040] You have to be so careful.

[1041] And it'll kill you.

[1042] One time we were in Florida and somebody gave us what they call Molly, but it was in a capsule.

[1043] And I thought that was pure ecstasy or whatever.

[1044] I took it and I was up for three fucking days.

[1045] It was speed.

[1046] I came on a law and order set like, yo, what the fuck was my life?

[1047] They're like, I just a lot of them.

[1048] So don't do drugs.

[1049] Just say no to drugs.

[1050] How come you didn't drink or smoke weed when you were younger?

[1051] Like, why did you make that decision?

[1052] Because I was by myself, and I felt it would compromise my situation.

[1053] I've seen people getting drunk, being high.

[1054] I remember when I was young, I was in junior high.

[1055] This big homie was like, yo, hit the weed.

[1056] I'm like, nah, I want to hit the weed.

[1057] He's like, well, you're a bitch if you don't hit the weed.

[1058] If I'm a bitch, make me hit it.

[1059] Oh, why are you tripping?

[1060] So once I stood my ground, I never had to do it.

[1061] And I just never thought being high was attractive.

[1062] And then I learned that the sober cat in the room is the most dangerous cat in the room.

[1063] I was like the designated driver before they had the term.

[1064] Like, I was the homie that didn't get hot.

[1065] If the cops pulled us over, I talk to the cops.

[1066] I'm talking to him like I'm a white kid.

[1067] Yes, officer, we're just coming back from a funeral.

[1068] All my guys' heads are down because their father's got shot by a cop.

[1069] Honestly, I'm going to tell you, my far is dark.

[1070] I'm not white.

[1071] My mother was light skin.

[1072] I would play white on him.

[1073] I'd be like, my father, he's.

[1074] He's a white guy.

[1075] He's a state trooper based out of Fresno.

[1076] I just run that bullshit on him.

[1077] Everybody like ice being sober and still to today.

[1078] I socially drink, like if I'm out and they serve champagne, I'll sip it.

[1079] A little cranberry vodka, I'll sip it.

[1080] But I don't like being drunk.

[1081] I'm not that person.

[1082] You're a control freak.

[1083] Well, yeah, you lose control if you're on substance.

[1084] Control freak only because it was for my life.

[1085] Yeah, that'll make one a control freak.

[1086] I always felt if I hit the ground.

[1087] whose job is it to come find me?

[1088] I don't got no mother, no father.

[1089] I might lay there for a day.

[1090] Yeah.

[1091] You didn't have a safety net, so you didn't act crazy.

[1092] Absolutely.

[1093] Douglas Sentry worked on this book with you and Spike.

[1094] He's a damn good writer.

[1095] Yeah.

[1096] Well, he's a criminal writer.

[1097] He wrote one on El Chapo.

[1098] Yeah, that's what I read, El Chapo.

[1099] I worked with him on my other book.

[1100] When I got the idea to do this book with Spike, I said, Doug got to write it.

[1101] Because Doug knows me, and the way he's works is dope because he takes what you're saying.

[1102] And when you read the book, you swear to God, I'm talking right to you.

[1103] And that's a unique way of writing.

[1104] Once you get the book together, you go through almost six to eight months of just editing.

[1105] Then we had to go everybody's name in the book.

[1106] We had to get them to agree.

[1107] You want to be in this book.

[1108] Should we change your name?

[1109] In the book, I say, people have to learn how to tell stories without implicating those.

[1110] that may not want that particular story told.

[1111] So if me and you did something together, Dex, I might have to change that to Fred.

[1112] Well, give me something more exciting than Fred, but yes, I respect it.

[1113] Some of our friends are preachers now.

[1114] You know, they've gone on to different things, and they may not want to be mentioned in this context.

[1115] Yeah.

[1116] Is it safe to assume if this book is a wild success, Spike will benefit from it?

[1117] The object of this book was to get Spike out there to be able to do some speaking engagements.

[1118] Oh, wonderful.

[1119] To talk to kids and tell them not to take his road, to make him somebody that can go out and talk and help.

[1120] We did an audio book, this is dope, because both of us did the vocals, so you get to hear us talk.

[1121] That's cool.

[1122] That's the way to do it.

[1123] I count that as one of my new albums.

[1124] Yeah, yeah.

[1125] I'm just trying to help him.

[1126] When you come out of prison, very few people got somebody there to help you.

[1127] He really wanted to tell people not to fuck up like he did.

[1128] That's why we wrote the book.

[1129] Yeah.

[1130] I think it's really cool.

[1131] Split Decision, Life Stories by You, Spike and Douglas Sentry.

[1132] Snoop just hit me up this morning.

[1133] He got his book.

[1134] So, you know, it's coming out.

[1135] Let me ask you something.

[1136] When you talk to Snoop, do you guys ever just get into the corner and go, how the fuck?

[1137] Look at this.

[1138] I'm on a Cheerios box.

[1139] My seven -to -nine -year -old daughter watched him judge some singing competition.

[1140] It's got to crack you guys up.

[1141] You know what happened, though?

[1142] The guards changed.

[1143] Yeah, yeah.

[1144] Super Bowl.

[1145] The people that were scared of me and Snoop and Eminem and 50 Cent, they're gone.

[1146] The new CEO is about 40 years old.

[1147] And he's like, let's go.

[1148] Let's go, Snoop.

[1149] So I was talking to Snoop or Dre.

[1150] And we laugh because we're like, yo, public enemy number one.

[1151] Now you're with Martha Stewart.

[1152] You know, like, what the fuck?

[1153] Yes.

[1154] Tell me from your point of view, because I was crying through half of it.

[1155] Watching that halftime show going, oh, my God, these are all the kids from 20 blocks away that we're supposed to be dead and they're the fucking kings of the universe and they got there by being artists.

[1156] That to me was the most triumphant moment I've seen on TV in my life.

[1157] When Dre got the call to do the Super Bowl, he didn't know if he wanted to do it because Dre does not like to lose.

[1158] And I was just telling him, man, you got all the best artists, you got Kendrick, all these people you put in the game, you got to do it.

[1159] When I saw them kids Crip Walking, I'm like, do you understand what the fuck Snoop up there with a Blu -Ret?

[1160] But I think what hip hop told young white kids is we're not mad at you.

[1161] We're mad at things.

[1162] We're probably mad at the same shit you're mad at.

[1163] Hip hop and punk rock's the same thing.

[1164] Exactly.

[1165] So now that the new power structure is up, like I always said, Barack Obama was the first hip hop president because black people, we only make up 15 to 17 % of the population in the United States.

[1166] You can't win a presidency with that.

[1167] You win that with a bunch of white kids.

[1168] that listen to hip hop that says, I'm not afraid of a black man being in charge.

[1169] I'm not afraid of them.

[1170] Get that racism bullshit away from me. Yeah.

[1171] And that's how it was possible.

[1172] Hip hop changed the world.

[1173] Yeah.

[1174] So all those kids, we all grew up with many of y 'all's heroes.

[1175] And yeah, I think it was one of the better things that could have happened.

[1176] Yeah, we're still here on Cheerio's boxes and shit.

[1177] Well, listen, Ice Tea, this was awesome.

[1178] I'm really, really flattered.

[1179] I got a chance to talk to.

[1180] to you in real life.

[1181] Full circle.

[1182] Don't know how I got here, but here I am.

[1183] We're not done.

[1184] We're in the second half, you know what I'm saying?

[1185] So I'm picking up speed.

[1186] Right now, I'm more busy than I ever been in my life.

[1187] Right now, they could put Ozzy Osbourne on a box of bat cereal or some shit.

[1188] Lucky charms with bats in it.

[1189] Yeah, because people now get it.

[1190] They like, yo, this is just entertainment.

[1191] All right, brother, this was awesome.

[1192] I hope I'm bump into you in real life, and I wish you a ton of luck on split decision.

[1193] Thank you for supporting.

[1194] the book and giving us this platform so we can promote it, make the right decisions.

[1195] As corny as it might sound, listen to your parents out there, man. Yep.

[1196] Good advice.

[1197] All right, brother.

[1198] Talk to you.

[1199] All right, peace.

[1200] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1201] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1202] Reminder to submit your stories for Armchair Anoff.

[1203] Is this iced tea?

[1204] Yeah.

[1205] Oh, my God.

[1206] Okay.

[1207] That makes sense then.

[1208] Bookended.

[1209] Yeah.

[1210] I like to remind people.

[1211] I really appreciate that you remind everyone.

[1212] People are forgetful.

[1213] Yeah, I am.

[1214] People often put in the comments like, what was the book you referenced?

[1215] And it just, they just heard it.

[1216] And I almost sometimes feel like, it doesn't take longer to ask on the comments than rewinding it.

[1217] Yeah.

[1218] But I understand.

[1219] Sometimes you're busy.

[1220] You're listening to it while riding a motorcycle in your ear pods, earbuds.

[1221] Yeah, sure.

[1222] Earpods or buds?

[1223] What do you call them?

[1224] I call them headphones.

[1225] But headphones don't headphones imply like the big brace around the top of your head like we're wearing currently?

[1226] That's a good question.

[1227] I think headphones still count as the ones that plug into your phone.

[1228] Uh -huh.

[1229] Yeah, that's another great distinction.

[1230] But that's what I use.

[1231] I don't use pods.

[1232] You don't use air buds.

[1233] No. Airbud.

[1234] Oh, my God.

[1235] My God.

[1236] Star of Airbud.

[1237] Ding, dingle, dingles.

[1238] I use Air Macs.

[1239] Is that what I use, Rob?

[1240] Yeah.

[1241] AirPod Mac.

[1242] AirPod Max.

[1243] No, no, because they're not pod.

[1244] They're headphones.

[1245] They're biggies.

[1246] They're called AirPods, though.

[1247] AirPod Max.

[1248] Ooh, Max.

[1249] It's the Max.

[1250] Monica.

[1251] The Max for the Monica at T .J. Max.

[1252] Get the Max for the Monica at T .J. Max.

[1253] You remember their slogan?

[1254] Get the Max for the minimum at T .J. Max.

[1255] Get the Max for the Monica at T. T .J. Max.

[1256] Wow.

[1257] Wow.

[1258] I think Max is great, but I think...

[1259] Callie's husband.

[1260] I love Callie's husband, Max.

[1261] And I also think the...

[1262] And Max first tapping, you love.

[1263] No, I don't.

[1264] But I do think he's talented.

[1265] Anyway, Max is great, but they shouldn't put pods in that word because it's not a pod.

[1266] It's a straight -up headphone like the ones we're wearing.

[1267] Without a chord.

[1268] You agree?

[1269] Yeah, I agree.

[1270] It's a little confusing.

[1271] It's confusing.

[1272] Because the air pods are just the earbuds.

[1273] Yeah.

[1274] Confusion in the marketplace is what we're dealing.

[1275] with like air i understand because no court i got to pump something i never pump my own wares on here okay go i we have shit i don't even know we have at hello bell like there's products we have that i don't really know we have okay like that's not a great testimonial to start with this is like how you start every arm to her anonymous but the everything body balm have you tried that no oh my god is it great it's not petroleum jelly but you'd swear it was like petroleum jelly.

[1276] It is so smooth and silky and not oily.

[1277] Nice.

[1278] And I've recently discovered it.

[1279] I'm putting it on top of my tattoos and stuff.

[1280] I'm like slathering myself in it.

[1281] I found it because I freshened up my hair dye.

[1282] And before I put the hair dye on, what I was in the market for was a big layer of petroleum jelly along my hair line so that the dye doesn't get on my skin.

[1283] Sure.

[1284] And that's a move you can make.

[1285] I know from the past so i think i went into christin's drawer looking for that and found this big tub of the everywhere body balm and i used that wow and then i was like i love how this feels in my fingers oh my god i feel so good at my forms and i just started slathering myself kind of like brooklyn and sheets is that writhing around in all this oil oh my god oh i love it it's dry but it's oily i love it and the container is beautiful this beautiful blue is a glass hmm it's a not no it's like a plastic bowl it's like a bowl it's heavy though oh it's gorgeous anyways i can't believe we made it it's so great so excited that's great yeah i'm gonna slather it you know when you have free products that are great i'd appreciate just some disbursement that's a very justifiable ask but as you just learned i just learned of it so i couldn't have been given it to you and like i just discovered it but now I'm all in on it.

[1286] Now, tomorrow, I'd appreciate.

[1287] Okay.

[1288] We'll do it.

[1289] I mean, look, I'm a tough customer.

[1290] I know you are.

[1291] Your skincare regime, your awareness of the marketplace, the products, the tinctures.

[1292] And remember, I told you about the really good Spanish baby wipes.

[1293] Yes.

[1294] And was not appreciated.

[1295] Because I do know about her baby wipes and I love them.

[1296] I love them too.

[1297] That's my go -to.

[1298] But I didn't bring them.

[1299] Went abroad.

[1300] I went abroad, and then I got a really cool baby white.

[1301] Oh, my God.

[1302] Was it sensual?

[1303] No, but it's...

[1304] This oil's sensual I'm talking about.

[1305] Okay, but a baby wipe probably shouldn't be sensual.

[1306] Not for a baby, but if you're using, if an adult's using it on themselves and it's sensual, that's, I'm fine with that.

[1307] It's fine.

[1308] It's just like, that's not the purpose, but sure.

[1309] No, it would be an added benefit.

[1310] Like, you were trying to clean things up and back.

[1311] Yeah.

[1312] Yeah, and if you were cleaning things up and back, and it did get things really clean and back and yet it was also sensual great you're right yeah it's just added perk wow there's a ding ding ding ding what we did talk about in this episode the funerals where they are posed yes that's just a ding ding ding for our prompts oh right do we maybe you have it in the fact check i can't remember if it was in the dominican no yeah you said dominican repos but it's porto it's porto okay that was my fact check okay i'm going to translate transition into something serious okay you're gonna try to segue yeah okay so yesterday I was on Facebook I never am on Facebook do you have an account yeah I've had accounts since you know yeah yeah okay great you know I was first I was second year in of Facebook oh really because you knew it had been a a Harvard edu type thing no no like the first class yeah that was in like invited to Facebook was 2004.

[1313] Okay.

[1314] And I graduated 2005.

[1315] Congrats.

[1316] Good job.

[1317] Anywho, so I'm an Oji.

[1318] But I was on Facebook and my very good friend from home, I've talked about this before.

[1319] Whose husband was shot?

[1320] Her husband was shot at the golf course where he worked.

[1321] And someone did a Sports Illustrated interview or like piece.

[1322] He did a piece on that whole story.

[1323] And there was like kind of a podcast.

[1324] podcast.

[1325] There's this audio 20 minute interview where they talked about it and then they also talked to Ashley.

[1326] Okay.

[1327] My friend, I listened and I was just so, this is so sad.

[1328] This is just so upsetting.

[1329] I can't believe this is someone I know.

[1330] Right.

[1331] You know, it was just a lot.

[1332] And then I go and I edit this episode.

[1333] And I felt very conflicted.

[1334] after having just listened to this story of my friend whose husband was shot and it was a drug thing.

[1335] Okay.

[1336] To then transition to this episode with Ice -T where he's talking a lot about this world and drugs and...

[1337] Bank robbery.

[1338] His friend, who he wrote the book with, who goes to jail, but then is now out.

[1339] Someone got killed in that whole incident.

[1340] It's hard for me to separate these two things.

[1341] When we recorded this, I wasn't thinking about it at all of like, oh, there are like people on the other end of this.

[1342] Well, I think, yeah, it's a vague concept until it's very personal.

[1343] And then it comes with all kinds of different feelings.

[1344] Yeah.

[1345] I just want to make sure.

[1346] And I know we didn't do this, but there was something about it that I was like, I feel like it's really important.

[1347] Because we were laughing, of course.

[1348] We were like laughing and engaged.

[1349] And it's like, I think it's really important for us to say that we don't can do.

[1350] don't that behavior and that we definitely don't mean to glamorize that behavior.

[1351] And I don't think we did, but, or I'll speak for me. I can't say for you.

[1352] I don't.

[1353] Anyone that would think we're pro -murder based on that?

[1354] I know, but I'm just saying when I listened and we're kind of, we're pretty cavalier.

[1355] Right.

[1356] Really quick.

[1357] I think there's a reason for that.

[1358] We're talking about things that happened 30 years ago.

[1359] I think if we were talking about his friend who's currently robbing banks, it would have a different, absolutely a different tone.

[1360] I think because we're talking about something that happened in the past and the guy did injure someone clearly.

[1361] I don't even think I explicitly stated what happened, but clearly someone was killed.

[1362] And then that person has spent the last 20 years in prison.

[1363] It is a different proposition to talk about than something that's active.

[1364] It's like the way I can tell funny stories about being a drug addict and almost Odeen because we know I didn't.

[1365] But you're talking about yourself in that case, in this specific case about the person who was killed, that doesn't get less intense for the people in that person's life forever.

[1366] Absolutely.

[1367] I agree.

[1368] I think all things are true.

[1369] Like, yes, my heart goes out to anyone that's experienced it.

[1370] And if it happens to me, I'll be heartbroken and can't go forward.

[1371] Also, we can talk about partying and drinking too much beer.

[1372] Someone's son got alcohol poisoning and died.

[1373] Yeah.

[1374] And because that happened, it doesn't mean that every conversation I have or have about drinking excessively has to include an acknowledgement of all the wreckage its cause.

[1375] I think it's okay to have compartments in my head about what is the nature of this conversation?

[1376] Are we talking about proposed legislation?

[1377] Are we talking about what people are owed?

[1378] Are we talking about things we can do to prevent it?

[1379] Are we talking about a bygone time where people narrowly avoided?

[1380] dying you know they're all different i think it can get too broad for people i think like this happened to a friend's comedy show i know they're doing an improv set in front of thousands of people and um one of the suggestions comes up a pregnancy it's two guys playing it they're doing this delivery on the thing afterwards someone in the audience is like that was so distasteful how dare you treat that with such levity i had a miscarriage last week i feel bad for that woman who had a miscarriage and I don't think we can live in a world where people on stage can't make jokes about a delivery.

[1381] It's not the responsibility of everyone else not affected to change how they're living their lives because something tragic happened.

[1382] No one said that to me. I'm just telling you how I felt when I listened that I felt like that's uncomfortable.

[1383] It would be uncomfortable to be like that's really serious.

[1384] You know, I probably wouldn't say that to a guess perhaps.

[1385] But when I was listening back and I was hearing myself laugh at some of these things, I was like, that's not funny.

[1386] That's really serious.

[1387] I got you.

[1388] It's just me. By the way, this isn't a light episode.

[1389] It's not like we laughed the whole time or I just felt that the whole time I was listening.

[1390] And my reaction specifically was not the same when I listened back.

[1391] Yeah.

[1392] And I think if I had a daughter who succumbed to an eating disorder and died, And I ever heard people talking about us just frankly discussing whether or not Kardashian was right or wrong to say that thing.

[1393] And then Lily has her perspective.

[1394] And none of us are talking about it with the weight that I would need it to be talked with if I went through that.

[1395] Sure.

[1396] And I also just think that's yet just another tragic, terrible layer to it.

[1397] It sucks for anyone who's lost a loved one to hear other people talking about this.

[1398] the same thing lightheartedly.

[1399] Yeah, or just not with the gravity.

[1400] But I also think it's just the reality of life.

[1401] It's like it's unavoidable.

[1402] Like there's not going to be a silver lining to anyone who's lost somebody.

[1403] Like I don't think the world changing how they talk about tragedy is actually going to have any impact.

[1404] It's just like it's brutal.

[1405] It's terrible.

[1406] And it must be heartbreaking hear people talk casually about such serious things.

[1407] Right.

[1408] But I also just think that's reality.

[1409] Yeah.

[1410] I think context is also everything.

[1411] If we had a true crime show and we.

[1412] were laughing our way through it that'd be a mismatch but we have a very lighthearted show we could have spent the two hours of dog the bounty hunter shaming him that he was involved in a homicide like he was the getaway driver in homicide he went to prison for it whoever's child died in that homicide what they deserve is to hear dog apologize for two hours to them there's no question that is what they deserve but i'm not going to have dog here and make him apologize for two hours for something that happened 25 five years ago.

[1413] It's just like, it's not why I would invite him on.

[1414] Right.

[1415] No, I don't, I'm not advocating for that at all.

[1416] You know, but it's a really common.

[1417] It's like, we have guests where, you know, came out, they said the N -word in the 90s.

[1418] It's about to happen.

[1419] We're about to have a guess that is known to have used the N -word.

[1420] That'll be a big thing on our comments.

[1421] Why don't you ask her about saying the N -word?

[1422] I'm probably not going to ask her about saying the N -word because she already has addressed it 45 times.

[1423] And she said as many times as she can, she was.

[1424] She was, regrets it.

[1425] And I'm, I'm either not going to have her on, but I'm not going to have her on to hear the 100th time that she apologizes for having used the N -word 20 years ago.

[1426] I would just rather not have her on.

[1427] Yeah.

[1428] I don't have our guests that just left.

[1429] People are going to be mad.

[1430] I didn't grill her about being Scientologists.

[1431] Yes.

[1432] And that's okay.

[1433] They, they should go listen to shows that are about outing people.

[1434] There are those shows.

[1435] They exist for everybody yeah but to want every show to be the exact same thing i push back against or i just i don't concede to yeah anyway okay he mentioned max hardcore now that is a porn actor oh wonderful yeah his name is paul f little that's ironic does he have a big hog a big hammer in his pants i don't know I, it doesn't say.

[1436] Odds are a porn star has got a big hammer.

[1437] That tends to be who they cast in those.

[1438] Yeah, so the fact that his last name's Little is very ducked -up goose.

[1439] Mixed Messies.

[1440] He rose to prominence in 1992 with the film series The Anal Adventures of Max Hardcore.

[1441] Oh, okay.

[1442] Which in 94 was awarded the X -rated critics organizations award for best amateur or pro -am series.

[1443] Now, again, really quick.

[1444] I don't want to get too bogged down on this.

[1445] If I'm the father of the daughter who Max Analy invaded, I don't think this is funny.

[1446] But it's also, it's funny that the thing that the guy started is called like the anal invaders.

[1447] Wait, wait, but also these things, no, not Invaders, Adventures.

[1448] Oh, wow.

[1449] That's kind of more lighthearted, isn't it?

[1450] Yeah, I don't think anyone was invaded.

[1451] I think everyone was consensual in this film.

[1452] You hope, yeah, yeah.

[1453] Yeah.

[1454] So it's, again, not the same, right?

[1455] Well, but if your daughter had a drug, drug habit and then she ended up in this movie and so the whole thing's really regrettable and Max Hadron what's the name Max Little?

[1456] Hardcore.

[1457] Hardcore Max took an adventure in your daughter's asshole and we're laughing about it and you're the father of that daughter or you're that daughter it's not funny.

[1458] It's not funny but I also don't want to say those are the same someone getting shot in cold blood and someone who has a drug problem who found her way into a porn.

[1459] That's not the same thing but it is the same in that the the information for the person close to it is insufferable of course and then for those who are not either max yes max maximum what's his name max hardcore max hardcore i'm so sorry if you're for everyone that's not max hardcore or the people who's ass he took an adventure in it's funny and i want you know it's it's the same in that way that it's simply not funny to the people that are yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah apparently he directed it also oh he's a multi hyphenate as we say in show business okay he said that he was talking about the Harlem Crips and that how they got connected to L .A like he was just like we're not going to go there why it's called Harlem even though it's in L .A he did a couple times acted like if he were to have said something he himself would have been threatened right like I felt like there were a couple moments in the conversations like he was about to say like I'll tell you more about But there's no way I would tell you that in public.

[1460] Oh.

[1461] I'd probably open myself up to some kind of retribution.

[1462] In 1961, a hurricane prompted the first major wave of immigration from British Honduras to South Los Angeles, which was already home to street gangs like the Crips in the Bloods.

[1463] The spread of gangs among Belizeans accelerated at the 1980s.

[1464] Following a wave of gang violence, ethnic Belizean gang members were deported back to Belize.

[1465] Deported Belizean gang members quickly spread the culture.

[1466] drove Bloods and Crips in Belize City.

[1467] While the gang was in Belize, it adopted the current name.

[1468] By 1995, the gang was active in Harlem, New York City, and responsible for several assaults and shootings.

[1469] In 1997, the gang was making $4 ,000 per day in drug sales.

[1470] Yeah, they originate in Harlem, New York and tend to be older than the typical active gang member in South Los Angeles, Roll in 30s.

[1471] Oh, right, right, right.

[1472] Yeah, I remember I'm saying that.

[1473] Okay, this is kind of tied in.

[1474] Okay.

[1475] I noticed this 20 years ago when I lived in L .A. And my friend Scott and I were looking at some ballot measures.

[1476] We were about to vote and one with some gang initiative.

[1477] And I said, I don't know.

[1478] I think everyone's so afraid of gangs.

[1479] Like, all you got to do is say it's going to crack down on gangs and you can get any amount of money and anything passed.

[1480] Like, we're just, you're so fear driven.

[1481] You're not objective at all.

[1482] So similarly, talking with Eric and his buddy Andrew the other day.

[1483] And we were talking about who's running for mayor, right?

[1484] And they were talking about this candidate and would you vote for him?

[1485] And I said, I don't really know.

[1486] and what he's about other than he wants to clean up the homelessness situation, the unhoused.

[1487] They said, oh, and he's really, he wants to crack down on crime.

[1488] Okay.

[1489] And I said, I mean, on paper, that sounds great, crack down on crime.

[1490] And real time, I looked this up.

[1491] I said, I actually think L .A. is insanely safe.

[1492] In fact, I think I've even heard things on the news, like it's much safer to live here than any rural place in America.

[1493] and I looked up deaths.

[1494] The way they do homicide is per 100 ,000.

[1495] Okay.

[1496] So can I read you like the top 10?

[1497] Yeah.

[1498] Hold on.

[1499] Am I going to have to research it?

[1500] I thought it was a tab.

[1501] I already had open.

[1502] Ooh, history.

[1503] Google Chrome.

[1504] Using Safari on that phone?

[1505] No, this is not yet.

[1506] Oh, boy.

[1507] Anyways, you know what?

[1508] I'm not going to find it.

[1509] Okay.

[1510] The point is, is that I did the top 100.

[1511] L .A. wasn't on the list.

[1512] Not only that, but the top one had a murder rate of 10x of what we had.

[1513] Wow.

[1514] Our murder rate is five per 100 ,000.

[1515] I'm not surprised.

[1516] Yeah.

[1517] It's insanely low.

[1518] Like when you compare it to other cities, it's one of the lowest.

[1519] And so for someone to run on the platform of I'm going to crack down on this to me is i think it's praying upon people's knee -jerk fears of things yeah speaking of this someone was shot at my pharmacy which we agreed is the least shocking thing we've ever heard despite what i just said about this being a very safe city when you said someone was shot at this unnamed pharmacy this unnamed pharmacy is in a shopping complex with like three different vape stores, a nutritional supplement place, which is really just all of the legal over -the -counter psychotropic drugs you can take.

[1520] There's so much riffraff going on in this plaza.

[1521] And they shut down our unnamed pharmacy that we used to go to and directed everyone to this one.

[1522] Yes.

[1523] I went twice and I was like, fuck this.

[1524] Whatever ailment I'm here to correct with medicine is not as lethal as this parking lot.

[1525] Exactly.

[1526] And that's still mine.

[1527] Someone got shot there.

[1528] Yep.

[1529] Inside unnamed pharmacy.

[1530] Yep.

[1531] And David Ferrier's friend got punched there.

[1532] Oh, really?

[1533] Well, maybe it should start hanging out there.

[1534] I know.

[1535] It actually sounds like a place you'd love.

[1536] I love to get a job of sleeping floors and just patrol on the place.

[1537] If you would love to be in charge of picking up my prescriptions, I would be so happy.

[1538] I'd be so happy.

[1539] I get very scared.

[1540] I don't know why you're not moving it to the Albertsons, which is 10 feet from your house.

[1541] I am about to do that, but I've done it.

[1542] I did it once, and it was slow.

[1543] Oh, okay.

[1544] Well, you're going to have to choose speed over lethality in this case.

[1545] I know.

[1546] Anywho.

[1547] See, I'm laughing about that.

[1548] Someone got shot.

[1549] There you go.

[1550] I know.

[1551] I'm bad.

[1552] I'm a huge part of the problem.

[1553] I'm the problem.

[1554] You are the problem.

[1555] And I hope this new mayor cracks down on you.

[1556] Okay.

[1557] He said black people make up 15 to 17 % of the population.

[1558] I thought it was 12.

[1559] I guess I was wrong.

[1560] 13 .4 is the current.

[1561] Oh, nice, happy medium between the two of us.

[1562] Yeah, middle ground.

[1563] Middle ground.

[1564] A compromise between ice tea.

[1565] The middle way.

[1566] That's what the Buddhists say.

[1567] Oh, my gosh, ding, ding, ding, iced tea.

[1568] I should have started with this.

[1569] Okay.

[1570] Last night was the Emmys.

[1571] Uh -huh.

[1572] And Keenan Thompson hosted.

[1573] Oh, fun.

[1574] I love Keenan.

[1575] Yes.

[1576] I really want to have them on this show.

[1577] Me too.

[1578] At the beginning, they did kind of this musical number of all these different shows.

[1579] and they did law and order.

[1580] Oh.

[1581] And he said at the end something about putting iced tea with lemonade.

[1582] Oh, he wanted to do an Arnold Palmer.

[1583] Something like that, but it was an iced tea reference.

[1584] And that was a huge sim ding, ding, ding.

[1585] Absolutely.

[1586] The timing couldn't be better.

[1587] I know.

[1588] Okay, this is really quick.

[1589] But you guys mentioned Ozzy Osbourne and Bats.

[1590] And just in case people didn't know or forgot, he bit the head out of a live bat.

[1591] Right.

[1592] That's what made him really public enemy number one.

[1593] So people hated that or they just thought it was so gross?

[1594] Well, it was also at the height of the satanic moral panic.

[1595] Right?

[1596] So it mobilized all these Christian groups to petition their venues to not allow him to play there.

[1597] It's a boycott to threaten to arrest him.

[1598] It was like the Elvis thing.

[1599] Wow.

[1600] Elvis, of course, shook his hips.

[1601] You know, the police would go and they were threatening to put him in jail over shaking his hips it's all the same shit i don't know again if you're an animal lover who particularly loves bats i totally i understand but in the in the broad scheme of things this is you're reacting this is all the same thing it's the gangs it's biting heads off bats it's satanic yeah it's all branding you're succumbing to branding he does that and you react so then kids are more drawn to it because yeah old people hate it and christian groups are boycotting it so And now it's really appealing.

[1602] Yeah, it's true.

[1603] It's like the left going after Joe Rogan.

[1604] All they did is mobilize many more people to be in love with Joe Rogan, even though he's not left or right.

[1605] The result of the left, the few people on the left that got public about boycotting Rogan, the end result was a huge net gain in listeners for Rogan.

[1606] Is it?

[1607] Yes.

[1608] Because you had all these people that normally wouldn't even listen to him, but now that to piss off the left, they should listen.

[1609] Well, I don't know if it's to piss off the left so much as it's what.

[1610] this.

[1611] Oh, this must be actually crazy because of it's this bad.

[1612] Like, what is it?

[1613] I want to know.

[1614] There's looky loose.

[1615] But he's like anti -Trump.

[1616] So it's like on one hand, he's anti -Trump.

[1617] But another hand, he's saying he wouldn't get vaccinated if he was 20 years old.

[1618] Right.

[1619] And so because the left freaked out so much, it made him appear to be a spokesperson for the right.

[1620] So then they rallied around him and dramatically increase his listenership.

[1621] So it's like all things aside, If your goal was to get more people listening to Rogan, you succeeded.

[1622] If your goal was to get less people to listen to Rogan by this boycott, you failed miserably.

[1623] Right.

[1624] What's that my two cents?

[1625] You said you're like 25 cents.

[1626] Yeah, I said my $10.

[1627] That's all.

[1628] That's everything.

[1629] Yes.

[1630] You're off on a plane in a couple hours.

[1631] What's that song?

[1632] I've been on an air plane.

[1633] Jet plane.

[1634] Don't know when I'll be back.

[1635] again Sunday night.

[1636] So you're leaving for Nashville.

[1637] You're going to go?

[1638] Well, more than Nashville.

[1639] Bristol, night race.

[1640] You're going to a NASCAR race.

[1641] Well, I hope you have so much fun.

[1642] Thank you.

[1643] What are you going to do?

[1644] I don't know.

[1645] Okay.

[1646] Fuck off.

[1647] Sky's the limit.

[1648] I'll probably have some cake.

[1649] Oh, wonderful.

[1650] All right.

[1651] Well, I love you.

[1652] Love you.

[1653] All right.

[1654] Toot -Doo.

[1655] See when you get back.

[1656] Follow armchair expert on the Wondry app.

[1657] Amazon music or wherever you get your podcasts.

[1658] You can listen to every episode of Armchair expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts.

[1659] Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry .com slash survey.