MFM Minisode 326

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[2] The minisode.

[3] That's right.

[4] This is the one where we read you the emails.

[5] That's what we say instead of our names.

[6] We got it wrong last time.

[7] You know, this podcast is hard.

[8] Because imagine how difficult reading your stories to you.

[9] We have to stretch all day before we record.

[10] Oh, my God.

[11] So much warm up, a lot of vocal and physical warmups.

[12] Yeah, jumping jacks.

[13] Just 2 ,000 jumpy jack?

[14] Yeah, we go first.

[15] Okay.

[16] This is called mean babysitter or kids torturing each other.

[17] Hi, MFF, fam, and then it says MFMF, my MFM fam, furry critters, and other friends.

[18] I just heard the story on Minnesota 319 of the sibling who stuffed each other into boxes to see how quickly they could escape, and it reminded me in my favorite game, me and my cousins would play, called Mean Babysitter.

[19] in the late 90s, early 2000s.

[20] And the reason I picked this, this fucked up thing, it jogged a memory that we fucking did this too.

[21] Yeah.

[22] Are you ready for this?

[23] We would regularly spend a weekend every other month or so together at my grandparents' cottage slash camp.

[24] The basement was unfinished and just filled with beds, and when we weren't outside, that was our playground.

[25] So, mean babysitter.

[26] My sister was the mom, my older cousin, was the babysitter, and me and my younger cousin were the kids.

[27] It's always the younger cousins.

[28] Always.

[29] My sister would leave us with the babysitter, aka go upstairs and do her makeup or watch TV.

[30] Oh, that's the best role.

[31] And the babysitter would open the pull -out couch to its bed form, make us lay down across it with wise, not up and down, and then close the couch and leave us in there for five to ten minutes while she sat on it or went upstairs with my sister.

[32] That was it.

[33] That was the game.

[34] That is a mean babysitter.

[35] We fucking did this.

[36] Did you really?

[37] Yes, I totally, it just jogged this memory of like both my mom and my dad's house had a pull -out couch and it was like.

[38] You and Lee and Ashert, wait, so they did it to you?

[39] We would all take turns, yeah.

[40] And then you'd sit on it and then you'd like, dad, where's Georgia?

[41] I don't know where she is.

[42] I'd be giggling from, as I said.

[43] Sufficate slowly.

[44] Terrible.

[45] How do we survive?

[46] I mean, I do have a very early memory of my cousin Stevie zipping me into a sleeping bag and then like pulling a thing tight at the top.

[47] And I think I've told you this before.

[48] And I just remember going like, okay, I have a choice right now.

[49] I could panic and go crazy.

[50] But he's going to let me out eventually.

[51] Yeah.

[52] So just stay calm until he lets me out.

[53] It's like, as a child, having to do that is fucking not right at all.

[54] Well, yeah, you had to like learn your fucking skills as a young child.

[55] Very, very early on.

[56] And then it says, we did this next one too.

[57] Another favorite game was, guess what you're drinking?

[58] Ours was called Guess what you're eating.

[59] I swear to God, we had a game called Guess.

[60] Oh, no, it was called Guess what I just put in your mouth.

[61] Guess what I just put in your mouth?

[62] I totally, I have to text by siblings.

[63] It's literally like they're opening a vitamin or something and you're like, oh, it's really bitter.

[64] Like, just chewing on a vitamin.

[65] Oh.

[66] Where we would blindfold someone and make a disgusting cocktail, think ketchup, milk, gummy worms, soda.

[67] Oh.

[68] And then the blindfolded kid would have to guess what was in it.

[69] Dude, that was our favorite fucking game.

[70] Guess what I'm putting into your mouth.

[71] It's a good game.

[72] We didn't get internet up there until 2013 -2015 -ish.

[73] And even then, we weren't allowed to use it unless it was an emergency.

[74] I have lots of other delinquent children left -alone games slash stories if you're interested.

[75] Stay sexy and keep torturing your siblings slash cousins, best, Emma.

[76] Older sisters, gamifying, being mean to you.

[77] Like getting you to volunteer for abuse because it's a quote -unquote game.

[78] is hilarious and but yes guess what I'm putting in your mouth that almost makes me grateful that my sister all she ever did was like get out of my room get out of my room yeah like just get away from me yeah those two like let me torture you that could have been a lot yeah for sure oh what was the grossest thing that you had put in your mouth well there was definitely raw egg and ketchup was a popular a popular thing um Who the hell?

[79] Like vanilla.

[80] Oh, yeah.

[81] You know, mixed with ketchup and milk.

[82] And it was just disgusting.

[83] Lachkey children.

[84] Oh, yeah.

[85] Jesus.

[86] Okay.

[87] Here's my first one.

[88] The subject line is badass women, Karen, Georgia, and Bessie Coleman.

[89] And then in parentheses, it says, in no particular order.

[90] Ah.

[91] And it just starts, I'm not sure if this counts as a hometown.

[92] Fucking hooray, or just general.

[93] but I was so elated by this encounter I had to share.

[94] In episode 312, Karen shared the story of the life of Bessie Coleman, the incredible badass pilot.

[95] I, like so many white kids growing up in rural Texas, have never heard of Bessie Coleman before, and was awestruck by her perseverance and Karen's storytelling abilities.

[96] Oh, thanks.

[97] Fast forward to a year later, and I'm working as a school librarian in an extremely affluent, mostly white elementary school.

[98] Second grade began a research unit on inspiring people, so they came to the library to get books.

[99] All the girls rushed to this section on Amelia Earhart and we quickly ran out of her biographies.

[100] Luckily, inspired by your episode, I'd recently purchased several books on Bessie Coleman and I redirected some of the students to her section.

[101] By the end, Bessie Coleman was the new It Girl in second grade.

[102] I wanted to thank you all for introducing me to this amazing woman who I should have learned about when I was a kid.

[103] But thanks to you, I will be able to be able to be.

[104] introduce kids to this incredible woman and broaden their idea of what inspiring people look like.

[105] Please keep telling stories, especially stories about women of color and other people whose histories are often ignored.

[106] Your influence is far -reaching and will hopefully help these kids see the world a little differently.

[107] Rachel.

[108] Oh my God.

[109] That's so special.

[110] Rachel, thank you.

[111] That's a lovely compliment and you're doing God's work.

[112] And I swear to God, this thing that book banning is actually happening in America in 2003 is the scariest, most indicative thing of a fascist takeover.

[113] It cannot happen.

[114] We have to fight for this country.

[115] You have to fight these lunatic people who are trying to take books away and say that children can't learn about people that aren't white or that people that they have decided in their own tiny worlds aren't good.

[116] Like, it can't be happening.

[117] It can't be happening.

[118] It's so fucked up.

[119] Every time I see a book banning story, and I think things like this are happening lately where it's so extreme that you just get like freaked out and don't know what to do.

[120] Yeah, for sure.

[121] We actually did this for a library that they tried to close and then everyone started donating to the one library.

[122] Yes.

[123] If you just look in your town or your area, your county, or your state, and you see if anything like this is happening and you figure out how you can act locally to fight book banning, even if it's showing up at like PTA meetings or something, just to be a voice of, I don't want this to be happening.

[124] Because it's so extreme and it feels like they're doing it, like all these fucking shitty laws that they've been passing at midnight or behind people's backs or like when no one's paying attention.

[125] It's just awful.

[126] Yeah.

[127] Thank you for saying that.

[128] Because here's what could be happening.

[129] Yeah.

[130] Like people are being educated.

[131] Yeah, exactly.

[132] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[133] Absolutely.

[134] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[135] Exactly.

[136] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[137] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

[138] That's right.

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[145] Connect with customers in line and online.

[146] Do retail right with Shopify.

[147] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[148] important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[149] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[150] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[151] Goodbye.

[152] Now we're going to talk about landfill trash dad stories.

[153] I will absolutely have a landfill rant at the end of this.

[154] No, I hope so.

[155] Okay.

[156] Hi, all.

[157] On Minnesota 316, you asked for stories about what people have found in landfills, and I finally feel like I have a reason to write in.

[158] When I was little, my dad would bring home some weird things from the landfill, and it was always super exciting for me and all the other neighborhood kids.

[159] Sometimes he would bring back jars of bugs like cicadas or even black widows.

[160] Oh.

[161] Here's a jar of black widows.

[162] Here, look at this, but don't open it.

[163] Don't open it.

[164] One time he hauled a tub.

[165] Guess what I'm putting in your mouth.

[166] Oh, no. No, no, no, no. So sorry, so sorry.

[167] One time he hauled a tub of bullfrogs out of his truck and into the front yard for us.

[168] Wow.

[169] This is a great dad.

[170] This ultimately pissed off some of our neighbors because the frogs eventually hopped away down the street and ended up living in the pond.

[171] Another treasure was a slightly used disco ball that I hung in my room for years.

[172] Ooh.

[173] But my favorite treasure was an electric corvette.

[174] Think like one of those battery -powered Barbie jeeps that kids can ride inside of.

[175] He had found it at the landfill and brought it home, painted it from bright pink to dark green, just like his dad's old Corvette, and swapped the 6 -volt battery out for 12 -volt battery, so it would go even faster.

[176] Yes.

[177] As soon as he revealed it to me, on my birthday, the first thing I apparently said was, I wish it was a pink Corvette, Daddy.

[178] Cue sigh.

[179] I was definitely popular in my small cul -de -sac.

[180] Oh, and the other thing he also brought back was in my small cul -de -sac.

[181] an enormous black plastic pipe, the kind used for culverts, and we would take turns getting inside of it and rolling down the street.

[182] I was obviously the coolest kid on the block.

[183] My dad is one of the coolest guys I've ever known, and we share love for cheap joys, which I'll always be grateful for.

[184] We love going to garage sales or estate sales to find interesting, weird stuff.

[185] It's always a toss -up when he gives you a gift because it could be from a job site, the dump, or even just something he found on the sidewalk.

[186] Example, a real diamond ring.

[187] I'll never get tired of hearing my dad's crazy stories or learning about the dumb things he's done accidentally setting a tennis court on fire, for example.

[188] In asking him about stories from working at the landfill, he just mentioned that one time he cut into a bag of garbage and found bones.

[189] After hurrying off to tell someone to call police, it turned out there was a skeleton manufacturer on the island.

[190] Oh.

[191] And these were throwaways.

[192] Sounds like a joke.

[193] Anyway, stay sexy and ask your job.

[194] dad about his weird stories because they are always hiding something juicy, Courtney.

[195] So true.

[196] Oh, that's the idea that, like, he enjoyed his work enough to, like, have the presence of mind to be thinking of his kids, looking for stuff, like, being in it.

[197] Totally.

[198] That's really cool.

[199] That's so cute.

[200] It's very good.

[201] Okay, so the subject line of this is dinosaur island and donuts.

[202] And then it just starts, this story has it all.

[203] And then it says, in parentheses, kind of.

[204] My dad worked a lot when I was a kid, so needless to say, I cherished any time I got with him.

[205] Being the youngest of four, I was his baby, and we had our one special date we would go on whenever my family went up to our cabin in the summer.

[206] My dad and I would go to a small gas station, get those dry white powder donuts that mom would never let me have, and we'd take the canoe out to a little island in the lake that we called Dinosaurbone Island.

[207] For years, this was our ritual.

[208] I would spend hours rummaging around and proudly presenting the bones to my dad who would be sipping a beer before grabbing another donut and getting back to my important archaeological work.

[209] Fast forward a couple years, and I'm talking to my siblings about this, probably trying to make them jealous in true youngest child fashion, when they drop the bombshell.

[210] To my surprise, they were not dinosaur bones, and I had spent hours digging my hands through lake otter shit and presenting the digested remains of small animals to my dad.

[211] Oh, God.

[212] And then in all caps.

[213] And then going back to eat the donuts.

[214] Oh, God.

[215] Ew.

[216] It's so gross.

[217] It's so gross.

[218] And like the older siblings, like, yeah.

[219] Here's what actually was happening.

[220] Exactly.

[221] Let me ruin this precious memory for you.

[222] And then it says, my dad is now a cancer survivor, and I cherish memories like this and I'm so grateful I get to continue to make new ones with him like the time I dared him to do a keg stand at his 60th birthday.

[223] Hell yes.

[224] Sweet.

[225] Love all you do.

[226] Cass, she her.

[227] Thank you, Cass.

[228] That was a beautiful, disgusting memory.

[229] Oh, that's really sweet.

[230] Okay, here's my last one.

[231] This is called an awkward favor for my Swiss weed dealer.

[232] Hmm.

[233] And it says, hello all.

[234] No one named.

[235] No one forgotten.

[236] I'm a big fan of MFM since my friend turned me on to you about five years ago, and I've been a religious listener to this podcast will kill you since Georgia shouted it out.

[237] This makes it nice and awkward when a co -worker hops in the elevator with me and asks what podcast I'm listening to.

[238] I've written in a couple times, but alas, no dice.

[239] I hope at least your hometown picker gets a giggle out of this unrelated to anything mentioned on the podcast anecdote.

[240] Our story takes place in 2012 when I was a freshman out of college and working out of as an au pair in Basel, Switzerland.

[241] Basel?

[242] Basel.

[243] I'm going to say Basel.

[244] I don't know.

[245] Is there an E in there?

[246] Uh -huh.

[247] I think it is Basel.

[248] Back then, I was an avid redditer and a pretty big pothead.

[249] Seems like a connection there.

[250] They definitely go together.

[251] I was active on a few subreddits, including slash trees.

[252] And then it says, aka the weed one.

[253] I guess trees is sleuthy, real sleuthy.

[254] and went on the slash Basel subreddit to see if anyone had recommendations of what to do while I was there.

[255] I received a message from a Redditor who said he was a student in Basel, saw my post on trees, and offered to sell me weed if I needed some while living there.

[256] It's a crossover of her subreddits.

[257] I was two months into a forced tolerance break and in desperate need to meet people my age, so I agreed to meet this guy in a very public beer garden.

[258] Probably dumb, but so was I. Thank God I rocked up to a small, very nerdy, and very kind guy who was getting his master's degree in physics or some shit.

[259] We'll call him Alex.

[260] We had a couple beers.

[261] He gave me an eighth for free as a welcome to Basel gift, and he shared a ton of local knowledge about the city with me. Alex became my friend in addition to my weed dealer, and I would meet up with him about once a month to re -up, and it says he did start making me pay.

[262] He invited me to college parties and introduced me to his friend group.

[263] it was great.

[264] After my year in Switzerland came to an end, I moved back to the U .S. for a real job, quote, so I could actually afford my student loan bills.

[265] A few months after I moved back, I get a text from Alex telling me he has a new girlfriend and wanted to get her a gift, but it only shipped to the U .S. in Canada.

[266] He asked if he could ship it to me and if I would forward it on.

[267] Absolutely.

[268] Anything for you, my dude.

[269] The box comes, I bring it to the post office, and they hand me a custom slip.

[270] I realized then that I have no cooking clue what I'm actually mailing.

[271] I text Alex and ask him what's in the box because it felt like an invasion of privacy to open it without him knowing.

[272] He gets super awkward on text and is like, no, no, no, don't open it.

[273] It's just a gift for my girlfriend.

[274] Don't open it.

[275] Really, Alex?

[276] Now you get sketchy.

[277] After all this, no chance.

[278] I immediately opened the box in the middle of the post office, mind you.

[279] It turns out I was about, I was about, to mail my nerdy Swiss weed dealer, a Hitachi magic wand.

[280] I'm standing in the post office holding up the most hardcore vibrator in one hand and a bunch of medieval -looking accessories in another.

[281] I pack everything back into the box, scribble, personal massager on the custom slip, and get the fuck out.

[282] Whenever I tell this story to my friends, they ask if I still kept in contact with Alex.

[283] After paying me back for shipping, I literally never heard from him again.

[284] Oh.

[285] Thank you for the consistent laughter.

[286] You've brought me over the years and for all you do for your listeners and community.

[287] Stay sexy, and if you don't know what's in the box, open it in private.

[288] Steedy, she, her.

[289] It's so true.

[290] I absolutely was sure it was going to be like a kilo of weed or however they measure weed.

[291] Yes, exactly.

[292] Something insane.

[293] And he's like, he's even more ashamed.

[294] Yes.

[295] We're also shame -based.

[296] Truly.

[297] Okay, this one's also kind of long, but I think worth it.

[298] And there's photos.

[299] So it says, Dear Karen and Georgia, I love the work you do, and I'm going to cut straight to the chase.

[300] Hearing you talk about hidden treasure, made me want to share this story with you.

[301] It's not really my story, more my late grandparents, writing today Boxing Day, on the day that they got married so many years ago.

[302] To put this in context, my grandma Irene met my granddad Peter back in 1943 at a dance when my granddad was back home on leave from war.

[303] She was 16, he was 19.

[304] They had three kids, my mom, my auntie, and my uncle, and were very happily married until sadly my grandma died from a long battle with leukemia back in 2011.

[305] I was 15 and devastated.

[306] Then in 2019, just before COVID hit, my granddad sadly passed away from dementia.

[307] It was a very sad time for all of us as my grandparents were like the glue holding everything together.

[308] When it came to sorting out the house to get ready to sell it, we had to go through my granddad's wardrobe.

[309] Now, this wardrobe was always a mystery to me and my younger brother, as my granddad always kept it locked, and the key was always inside his suit pocket, which he always wore.

[310] We never managed to get a peek inside, even though we had many attempts to try and pick the lock to get in.

[311] Anyway, cue my auntie, mum, and uncle clearing the house all these years later, finally with the key they managed to get in.

[312] There wasn't anything gold or silver hiding in there, but right in the back, hidden away for over 70 years, was an old suitcase engraved with my granddad's name and his Royal Navy employment number.

[313] Inside, we found something far better than gold or silver.

[314] We found hundreds of handwritten letters from my grandma that she'd written my granddad from when they first met while he was away at war.

[315] So the treasure that he had locked away and treasured for all those years was far more special than we could have imagined.

[316] We all spent the next few months reading all the letters and going on this magical journey of their relationship, including one from one they first met.

[317] We secretly hoped we would find another suitcase while cleaning out the rest of the house with the replies my granddad had sent my grandma, but no such luck.

[318] That lies with the amazing.

[319] imagination.

[320] I spent months scanning all the letters and putting it on a USB stick so all my family members had a copy.

[321] I wanted to share the first letter my grandma sent, so I've attached a copy and I've also transcribed it below.

[322] I'm sorry that this is a long story, but I hope you enjoyed it.

[323] Keep up the amazing work and stay sexy and always open the old suitcases.

[324] Love Sophie, Nottingham, UK.

[325] Cute.

[326] Are you ready for this letter?

[327] Yes, definitely.

[328] I'm going to cry.

[329] I haven't read it, and I'm going to cry.

[330] Okay.

[331] From September 6th, 1943.

[332] My dear Peter.

[333] Shit, what if I can't read this letter?

[334] Okay.

[335] It's so private.

[336] Yeah.

[337] This is literally a slice of history.

[338] Totally.

[339] They wrote this not thinking it would eventually get read on a fucking huge podcast.

[340] On a podcast.

[341] So please forgive us Irene and Peter.

[342] It's done with respect.

[343] So it says, my dear Peter.

[344] Well, here I am writing you a few lines, as I had promised.

[345] Trusting you arrived back okay at your destination.

[346] I thought about you all day and especially about 4 .30 when you were going back.

[347] What a pity we didn't meet sooner.

[348] Still, I expect it can't be helped.

[349] By the way, Peter, I must thank you for the lovely weekend I spent with you.

[350] I enjoyed every minute of it, hoping the same applied to you.

[351] Let's hope it won't be long before you are here again.

[352] She's writing this to a man at war.

[353] Oh, my God.

[354] He's at war.

[355] He's in fucking World War II.

[356] Totally.

[357] Okay, let's hope it won't be long before you're here again.

[358] I'm not much of a letter writer, so I'm hoping this letter doesn't bore you too much.

[359] She's got a big crush.

[360] Yeah, she does.

[361] She's trying to be cool.

[362] Yeah.

[363] Tonight I have washed my hair.

[364] And then in parentheses, it says, what did you say about time?

[365] Uh -huh.

[366] So Peter must have had a good sense of humor.

[367] Yeah.

[368] Yeah.

[369] Tomorrow night, I might go to the futurist with mother to see springtime in the Rockies, so I'll be a good girl.

[370] Work's gone down okay, but it could be much better.

[371] Sometimes I wish I was in the forces.

[372] Peter, what do you think about girls joining up?

[373] Would you volunteer if you were in my place or stay at home?

[374] Please let me know.

[375] Well, dear, I can't think of anything to write about.

[376] So will close, hoping to hear.

[377] from you soon, write as often as you possibly can.

[378] Cheerio and best of luck.

[379] Oh, no. God bless you and keep you safe.

[380] Love Irene.

[381] And there's four Xs.

[382] I can't.

[383] It's so sweet.

[384] It's so sweet.

[385] She was 16 too.

[386] Don't forget.

[387] She was 16.

[388] He's 19.

[389] They just meet.

[390] Now he goes to basically probably get killed.

[391] Yeah.

[392] He comes back.

[393] Yeah.

[394] They get married.

[395] They spend the rest of their fucking lives together.

[396] They spend the rest of their lives together.

[397] Oh, and he keeps her letters for his entire life.

[398] Oh, my God.

[399] Come on.

[400] Amazing.

[401] What do you want?

[402] What more do you want in this world?

[403] We'll put the photo of the letter up on our Instagram for this episode page.

[404] Yeah.

[405] Yay.

[406] Yes.

[407] Sorry, that's just like, it's so sweet and it's also such a, it's like a slice of real life.

[408] Yes.

[409] It's beautiful.

[410] Thank you, Sophie, for sharing that with us.

[411] Thank you.

[412] All right.

[413] Thanks for writing in and listening and hanging out with us.

[414] And stay sexy.

[415] And don't get murdered.

[416] Goodbye.

[417] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[418] This has been an exactly right production.

[419] Our producer is Alejandra Keck.

[420] And this episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.

[421] Stephen!

[422] Email your hometowns and fucking hooray's to my favorite murder at gmail .com.

[423] Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite.

[424] murder and Twitter at MyFave Murder.

[425] Goodbye.

[426] Follow My Favorite Murder on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen so you don't miss an episode.

[427] If you like what you hear, rate and review the show.

[428] Visit exactly right store .com to purchase My Favorite Murder merch.