MFM - Minisode 279

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[2] The minisode.

[3] That's right.

[4] We read you your stories to you.

[5] And if you belong to the fan cult, you can watch us, not just listen to us.

[6] Yeah.

[7] We're videoing this right now.

[8] An additional sense.

[9] Right.

[10] I put lip gloss on.

[11] That's right.

[12] And that's about it.

[13] You can see that I curled my eyelashes twice.

[14] Forgetting I did it the first time.

[15] And so then I basically made my eyelashes.

[16] on my right eye, take a left turn that mascara has only been able to partially fix.

[17] Oh, the trials and tribulations.

[18] I see it.

[19] We see it.

[20] We in the fan cult, see it.

[21] Winky.

[22] She's winking.

[23] Winking at the fan cult only.

[24] Do you want to be a part of something like that?

[25] Look into it.

[26] Maybe.

[27] You go first because Vince is still print.

[28] Vince is going to bring me my printed stories.

[29] So I don't happen right now.

[30] Okay.

[31] And when he does, should we stop what I, should we all?

[32] I'll stop and then scream hot off the presses or something.

[33] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

[34] Throw them all in the air, rip them up and say, no, more.

[35] So get me better stories.

[36] Suddenly he's your editor.

[37] Okay.

[38] Here's my first one.

[39] Okay.

[40] I won't read you the subject line.

[41] It just starts, hi, friends.

[42] I've been a devoted listener for two years and always wished I had a good hometown to send in.

[43] A recent hometown reminded me of an incident that happened a few years ago and I knew I had to share.

[44] My husband is the man. of a locally owned restaurant in our smallish town.

[45] One day while getting ready for the lunch shift, his childhood friend, who's now a police officer, called and asked about a guy who worked in the kitchen.

[46] After my husband confirmed that he was at work, the officer asked if he had access to any weapons.

[47] Being the smart ass that he is, my husband sarcastically replied, yeah, it's a kitchen.

[48] There are lots of knives.

[49] A short while later, local law enforcement stormed in the back of the kitchen door with guns drawn.

[50] The employee in question casually put his hands behind his head and said, doesn't look like I'll be working today and was escorted out in handcuffs.

[51] It turns out the previous night, after getting off of work, he murdered his ex -girlfriend's mom, who he saw as the reason he and his ex broke up.

[52] And then he proceeded to come to work the next morning like nothing happened.

[53] The officers took a pair of kitchen gloves from the restaurant as evidence, and we later found out that he used a pair during the crime.

[54] He was eventually convicted and is spending a very long time in prison.

[55] Stay sexy and always be kind to the people working in the kitchen.

[56] That's not the moral of the story.

[57] Sorry.

[58] They're trying to turn it around at the end of like, please don't judge line cooks.

[59] This is a very special circumstance.

[60] Sure, sure.

[61] That's a good one.

[62] That poor ex -girlfriend, man. I mean, horrifying.

[63] How about that?

[64] How about that, bro?

[65] Nice, compact, well -told.

[66] Hold, personal, actual hometown of, oh, my fucking God.

[67] Totally.

[68] Hot off the presses.

[69] There is.

[70] Did he just tiptoe in so quietly?

[71] He did.

[72] He's a podcast professional himself.

[73] He is a pro.

[74] He knows how it's done.

[75] Okay.

[76] Not going to read you the subject, but it says, hello, my gorgeous friends.

[77] Let's get to it.

[78] They haven't seen my eyelashes.

[79] They don't know what they're talking about.

[80] I live in the Pacific Northwest.

[81] where freaky shit happens all the time and people just shrug it off.

[82] My husband, who grew up in this area, casually dropped the juicy info that his cat came from a rescue called Eva's Eden, which fled the state when their cult activity came to light.

[83] And of course, when he dropped this nugget in my lap, I had to know everything.

[84] What?

[85] Uh -huh.

[86] Eva's Eden operated out of a building they decked out to be a cat paradise and also had a mobile cat bus adoption center.

[87] Sounds great so far, right?

[88] I'll join this fucking cult.

[89] It sounds like they're doing a great job.

[90] Yeah.

[91] For the one area.

[92] Right, so far.

[93] Yeah.

[94] The cats were all fostered by volunteers and driven to the rescue every morning where interested parties could play and visit with them.

[95] Many matches were made and many happy cats were rehomed.

[96] Sounds great on the surface.

[97] By the way, no cats are harmed in this.

[98] Good, good to know.

[99] Yeah.

[100] Yeah, that tension can be put away.

[101] Yes, yes.

[102] But eventually it came out of the rescue was leading a cult, and the rescue volunteers were her followers.

[103] Cheryl Ruthven was a Pentecostal preacher who believed she was a prophet, of course, and their reincarnation of Mary Magdalene.

[104] Oh.

[105] She preached that the end of the world was nigh, and the cats were divine vessels who would shepherd the 144 ,000 pure souls mentioned in the Book of Revelation to Heaven when the apocalypse came.

[106] She told her in ministry that they had to foster between 20 and 80 cats at a time in their homes.

[107] Uh -huh.

[108] Each.

[109] Because of this event?

[110] That was in preparation for the event.

[111] Yeah, and the cats were divine vessels, so they're like, bring them home.

[112] Yeah, all 80.

[113] Uh -huh.

[114] Even if their family members were allergic and insisted allergies were a sign of not having enough faith.

[115] She brainwashed women in divorcing their husband.

[116] made them drink her blood from chalices, and excommuned anyone who questioned her authority.

[117] When too much shit hit the fan, she up and moved for congregation and the mobile cat rescue to Columbia, Tennessee.

[118] This is long enough already.

[119] So I'll mention that there's a ton of detail on the slow descent of this church from a typical Pentecostal ministry to a full -blown cult in the opportunist podcast.

[120] Thank you all for everything you do and for being the friendly voices in my ear while I slog through 12 -hour work shifts.

[121] With much love, husbands, Danny, and Gareth.

[122] P .S., just in case Cheryl was onto something, I spoil the hell out of my husband's cult kitty.

[123] She might not really be a divine vessel, but she sure as hell seems to appreciate being worshipped.

[124] That, a P .S. is actually the basis of Catholicism, where it's like, it doesn't sound that realistic, but I'm kind of scared to not do it anyway, just in case.

[125] Yeah.

[126] Yeah, but what if?

[127] But what if?

[128] Wow, that's...

[129] What if?

[130] It seems to me, and maybe it's just because of podcasts and Netflix or whatever, but like, doesn't it feel like cults are just popping up everywhere and people are just like, sure, I'll join this cat rescue lady cult and drink her blood?

[131] Well, you think that it's like the cults are the big ones you've always heard about, not thinking that there are little ones that like don't even make a blip on the radar everywhere, especially in the fucking Pacific Northwest.

[132] But they're still drinking our blood.

[133] Yeah.

[134] So intense.

[135] Like, how do you get from like, okay, I'll foster a couple cats to let's have a, cheers to your blood, Mary Magdalene.

[136] Yeah, I mean, yeah.

[137] Also, I feel like the biblical Mary Magdalene, and this might just be my biblical interpretation, but she wasn't, that wasn't her style at all.

[138] Yeah.

[139] She was like Jesus's best friend slash lover.

[140] She wasn't bossy.

[141] She wasn't, like, worship me. Yeah.

[142] She was kind of like, oh, good.

[143] second chances.

[144] Let's all hang out.

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[164] Goodbye.

[165] Okay.

[166] This just starts out, folks.

[167] Love it.

[168] Longtime listener, first time writer, yada, yada, yada.

[169] Did I ever tell you the story of the time my mom, a civilian, pulled over a sheriff's deputy?

[170] No?

[171] Well, let's dig in.

[172] I love it.

[173] This was about 15 years ago.

[174] I was a high school senior and my older sister was attending the local college.

[175] a short drive from home.

[176] She had an event that night, and I decided to tag along with my mom for the ride to pick her up after.

[177] This is the kind of shit you do when you're in high school in a small town.

[178] Like, literally just getting in the car and going somewhere is exciting.

[179] Do you want to keep watching TV, or do you want to go on a drive, quick drive?

[180] Yeah.

[181] And Aaron.

[182] Literally the most trouble I got in in high school was one time.

[183] My sister was at the JC, and I was a junior.

[184] I just decided one night to go, to drive into town with her, and sit in the car in the parking lot while she was in it at class.

[185] And I just sat there like doing nothing.

[186] I was doing the radio or whatever.

[187] Yeah, exactly.

[188] So bored you are.

[189] But I had told my parents I was going to study at my friend Lisa Lanyon's house.

[190] Lisa Lanyon headband, the headband household.

[191] And I got in so much trouble for lying.

[192] But I was like, but I didn't do anything.

[193] It felt like you were smoking pot in the car.

[194] No. Such a waste.

[195] They also didn't believe that I wasn't doing anything, which, you know.

[196] Fair enough.

[197] It is a little suspicious to sit in a car where I was like, I just don't want to be in this house anymore.

[198] Okay.

[199] Anyhow, so we get my sister from campus and we start driving back home.

[200] Less than a mile from our house, the sheriff's deputy car that had been in front of us pulled off to the side of the road.

[201] My mom, for whatever reason, pulled up behind them.

[202] Mom, what are you doing?

[203] I think they're pulling us over.

[204] That's not how it works.

[205] Literally.

[206] Again, we were behind them.

[207] This is all written in script form, so that means that I have to give people different voices.

[208] All right.

[209] Okay.

[210] I don't think they're pulling us over.

[211] Sometimes they do this.

[212] And then in parentheses, it says, do they?

[213] The sheriff's deputy moved their car forward a bit.

[214] My mom moved right up, keeping a respectful distance from the law.

[215] We sat for a moment.

[216] I really don't think they're pulling us over.

[217] They're not getting out of the car and they're in front of us.

[218] Still, she waited.

[219] Finally, my mom decided to ask them.

[220] She pulled up beside them and rolled down my window.

[221] Excuse me, are you pulling us over?

[222] Oh, my God.

[223] Honestly, I'm getting a little angry because this is something my mom would do too.

[224] I was like, Mom, this isn't how life works.

[225] I'm a teenager, and I understand this.

[226] This is not happening.

[227] None of this is tracking.

[228] What the fuck are you doing?

[229] Can you please?

[230] Oh, my God.

[231] And now this is the cop voice.

[232] Okay.

[233] No, ma 'am, you're behind us.

[234] Get going.

[235] I'll never forget my mom's response.

[236] She floored it.

[237] Absolute pedal to the metal, Star Ski and Hutch peel out.

[238] My sister and I were stunned.

[239] Mom, what are you doing?

[240] He said that they were behind us.

[241] I figured they're probably waiting for some perp to come up the road.

[242] Oh, my God.

[243] By the time she finished explaining that, we were home.

[244] You see, when my sister called for the ride, my mom had just taken her nighttime medications.

[245] The kind they tell you not to operate heavy machinery on.

[246] Ma figured she had enough time to go to campus and get back before they kicked in.

[247] Oh, no. She was wrong.

[248] Oh, no. Stay sexy and get home before the meds kick in, Fred.

[249] She could have been arrested for, like, reckless endangerment of fucking...

[250] She was asking to be arrested.

[251] Yeah.

[252] She was asking him to arrest her.

[253] She's like, hi, I'm not in my right mind.

[254] Hi.

[255] Hi, I'm high.

[256] I'm not in my right mind.

[257] I'll give you one guess is to the color of this white woman's skin.

[258] Jesus Christ.

[259] Oh, wow.

[260] All right.

[261] A great one.

[262] A classic.

[263] Yeah.

[264] It's definitely a Janet move, but she would have been high, so it all adds up.

[265] Excuse me, are you arresting us?

[266] Yeah.

[267] Okay.

[268] This subject line gives nothing away.

[269] This is the subject line.

[270] You didn't ask for the story, and I cannot think of any reason you would have.

[271] Love y 'all never stop.

[272] Houston, 2001.

[273] I'm 18.

[274] in low -rise boot -cut jeans, a baby doll tea, and I smell of vanilla, riding shotgun in the passenger seat of my dad's car.

[275] Oh, another parent driving.

[276] I had just gotten my license and had been gifted a car.

[277] I was blissfully on my way to an appointment my dad had set up for me that would, quote, be the last step before I get the keys.

[278] We pull up to a government building and he tells me they're expecting me and to tell them I'm there for my 8 a .m. appointment.

[279] Confused but fiercely independent, I walk in and greet the friendly receptionist behind the glass.

[280] She looks at me and says, great, and hands me a medical mask and a pair of shoe covers.

[281] I take these and clearly look confused.

[282] She looked at me even more confused.

[283] You don't know why you're here.

[284] You're here to witness an autopsy.

[285] What?

[286] Where am I?

[287] The world spun.

[288] Time slowed down.

[289] What the fuck?

[290] Turns out my dad had dropped me off at the County Institute of Forensic Science.

[291] This is like a great, I mean, okay.

[292] She explained that there's a teen program that explains the dangers of drunk and reckless driving that includes seeing a rumpled car where a teenager died and other stuff.

[293] However, my dad hadn't been able to arrange that class for me, so I was seeing an autopsy to see what happens when you die.

[294] Jesus, Dad.

[295] You know, it just covers all the bases, just an autopsy.

[296] It's a little bit out of context and very much more intense.

[297] than seeing a crashed car.

[298] Yeah, seeing a program made for teens to scare them a little, but not to like, you know, well, here we go.

[299] Long story short, I know what a skull looks like without a brain in it.

[300] The sound bones make when cut with garden shears and the sound that a saw makes going through a skull.

[301] 15, 18, 18 years old.

[302] I got to touch and see the half -deflated brain of a person who died from a stroke.

[303] I learned about how the professionals process and weigh all the inner I also got to see the freezer where all the unclaimed and under -investigation bodies are kept and yes, I did get to see the rumpled up car where a girl died when putting on her makeup.

[304] I'd like to take this moment to thank my dad for this and all of the little tea traumas that he sprinkled throughout my childhood.

[305] Oh, and I can't find anything about the teen program online so I don't think it's offered anymore.

[306] Stay sexy and always read the sign on the building before you walk in.

[307] P .S. If you're ever looking for something random to do, I recommend Houston's National Museum of Funeral History.

[308] I used to hang there to pass the time when my aunt was in her classes for mortuary school.

[309] Lots of old caskets and hurses.

[310] The end.

[311] Wow.

[312] He had his heart in the right place.

[313] Dad, good old dad.

[314] It's like, he's like, you know, an ounce of prevention is worth whatever the rest is.

[315] Yeah.

[316] But it's almost like prevention gone.

[317] awry.

[318] It's so extreme.

[319] Yeah.

[320] I know that my cousin, when he accidentally lit the kitchen on fire when he was a kid, his parents, my aunt and uncle took him to the burn ward and like made him walk around, like made him volunteer there for a little bit just to be like, here's what happens when you flick mattress across the fucking kitchen and you hit a fucking dish towel.

[321] Here's how lucky you are that nothing, you know, more happened.

[322] Yeah.

[323] I mean, I guess I I'm not against it.

[324] Yeah.

[325] But it feels like it should be connected like that.

[326] Just a straight -up op -topsie is so disturbing.

[327] It's so disturbing.

[328] The subject line of my last email is my witchy Italian family.

[329] Hey, all M -FM people, since you kind of receive hometowns about all kinds of things these days, I thought I'd send in a fun story about my weird Italian family and how they came to the U .S. because it's very odd.

[330] I grew up in a very Roman Catholic Italian family in upstate.

[331] New York.

[332] My grandma loves Jesus and blames all the world's problems on us not being married, not being truthful to her, and that we don't go to church enough.

[333] I mean, who knows?

[334] There it is.

[335] Could be.

[336] For example, I wouldn't tell her how much my dress for my sister's wedding cost, and she told me that was the reason Notre Dame caught on five.

[337] Oh my God.

[338] Oh.

[339] It's so good.

[340] It's so good.

[341] It's so accurate.

[342] Well, thanks for burning down Notre Dame.

[343] Good job.

[344] Yeah.

[345] You could have just said $250.

[346] She told me that that was the reason Notre Dame caught on fire because I was lying to her.

[347] I am not kidding.

[348] We know you're not kidding.

[349] No, no, we believe you.

[350] I asked her recently why my great -grandparents decided to move from Italy to the United States.

[351] My grandma mentioned it was because of a curse.

[352] Okay.

[353] Apparently, my great -grandmother, Rosa, was the most beautiful girl in her little town in Italy.

[354] She married my great -grandfather, Nicola, and that really pissed off some other guy in town, so he put a curse on them.

[355] Sure enough, when they had their first pregnancy, Rosa miscarried.

[356] Nicola took this as a sign and decided to move his wife to the U .S. to get away from this curse.

[357] They ended up having eight kids.

[358] Once I heard this story, a lot of other things made a lot of sense.

[359] My great -grandfather was a big believer in tea leaves and would read them to tell baby, when people were pregnant.

[360] On New Year's Eve, when it hits midnight, we open all the cupboards and doors, then bang on all the biggest pots and pans as loud as we can to frighten out all the troubles of the past year.

[361] Oh, I love it.

[362] Mm -hmm.

[363] My grandma puts people's names on little scraps of paper when she's mad at them and then freezes them in an ice tray until she's not mad at them anymore.

[364] I don't get it.

[365] Wow.

[366] So vindictive.

[367] Well, but also a very kind of personally controlled way.

[368] You know what I mean?

[369] It's kind of like, it's like saying I'm taking all these feelings and putting them over here.

[370] Yeah.

[371] But like literally.

[372] Yeah.

[373] On a positive note, we carry my great grandmother's name through our family.

[374] My aunt's middle name, my sister's middle name, and my niece's middle name were all rose after our strong, amazing matriarch.

[375] Stay sexy and don't be afraid to literally freeze people out by putting.

[376] their names in your freezer, Stephanie.

[377] Oh, that's a cool grandma's story.

[378] That's great.

[379] I love it.

[380] Okay.

[381] I'm not going to tell you the name of this one, but it is a doozy.

[382] Aloha, ladies, Stephen, and pets.

[383] For years, I have racked my brain for a story interesting enough to send to you, and I think it finally happened.

[384] It's a true silver lining for an otherwise stressful day.

[385] Well, I was at work a few weeks ago, and my dad was doing me a favor by cementing my shower rod to the wall.

[386] my mother, who tagged along with my dad, decided it was a good idea to go through my drawers.

[387] Some parents don't understand boundaries even when you're in your 30s.

[388] That is so awful.

[389] She stumbled upon what she thought was a pack of gummy worms and decided to be generous with my belongings and give them to my four -year -old neighbor and her pregnant mother as a yummy treat.

[390] Well, sounds like a misdemeanor theft to me, but sure, I guess.

[391] Unfortunately, no one read a label that closely, and they were not an innocent sugary snack, but rather strong medical -grade THC gummies that I used to sleep.

[392] Yeah.

[393] 500 milligrams in a pack, heavy sigh and a shake of the head even as I type this now.

[394] To be clear, I have half a gummy to sleep, and I am a grown woman.

[395] My poor nugget of a neighbor had four, and her mom had two before they realized something tasted funny and the package was suspiciously hard to open.

[396] Yes, they tasted like weed and were childproofed.

[397] Once my young neighbor began to act oddly tired, the package was inspected a little better and all the warning labels became clear and a frenzy seems to have taken place.

[398] A frantic few hours in the ER and my neighbors were all fine.

[399] Thank God.

[400] Just tired and probably snacky.

[401] The police assured my 65 -year -old former teacher of a mother who just kept crying and saying she wasn't a drug pusher.

[402] Yes, she is.

[403] Yeah, you are.

[404] That since edible candies became legal, this happened more than people realize.

[405] Now my little neighbor has a tricked -out remote -controlled Jeep she can cruise around in, bought out of deep guilt and horror, and all is well in our little hamlet of the world.

[406] Stay sexy and double -checked the label before you drug a toddler with THC -laced gumming.

[407] Worms, Kim, she, her.

[408] Stay sexy and don't, if candy is in a nightstand, it's not public candy.

[409] No. Why would it be in her nightstand?

[410] Why would it be in our nightstand?

[411] It's not yours to give away, to begin with.

[412] It's not yours to be in there.

[413] This is why I hope the mom learned a powerful lesson on snooping.

[414] Yeah.

[415] And minding your business in someone else's home.

[416] If you're going to be a snooper, which I've already admitted to being, but you will see things you don't want to see.

[417] Right.

[418] And you'll also fuck things up that you don't realize you're getting your hands in.

[419] Oh, my God.

[420] It's a dirty business.

[421] She dosed a toddler and a pregnant woman with like, with four times the amount that a grown woman who is aware of being, dosing herself usually takes.

[422] And that is a fucking, I did that to myself the other night with some new sleep tincture.

[423] And I was like, I don't remember what he told me I should take.

[424] Poop up till six in the morning.

[425] Paranoid.

[426] When would you be up?

[427] I get anxious when I'm high.

[428] And I just highly dose myself, like, hard.

[429] And it was just like thinking of all the things all night.

[430] It was terrible.

[431] It was terrible.

[432] And I knew what I was doing.

[433] Shit.

[434] Yeah.

[435] Yeah.

[436] I love that the cops were called and I went to the hospital and shit.

[437] Yeah.

[438] The cops are just like this again.

[439] Yeah.

[440] Well, these were a wonderful batch of lessons and family, family secrets.

[441] And we really appreciate you sharing your.

[442] stories with us.

[443] If you have more, please send them to my favorite murder at gmail .com.

[444] That's right.

[445] Thanks guys.

[446] And stay sexy.

[447] Oh, and don't get murdered.

[448] Goodbye.

[449] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[450] This has been an exactly right production.

[451] Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.

[452] Our producer is Alejandra Keck.

[453] This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.

[454] Our researcher is Gemma Harris.

[455] Email your hometowns and fucking hooray's to My Favorite Murder at gmail .com.

[456] Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at My Fave Murder.

[457] Listen, follow, and leave us a review on Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[458] And don't forget, you can listen to new episodes one week early on Amazon Music or early and ad -free by subscribing to Wondry Plus in the Wondry app.

[459] Goodbye.

[460] Follow My Favorite Murder on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen so you don't miss an episode.

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