Julia Louis-Dreyfus

[0] Welcome, welcome.

[1] Welcome to a very special episode of Armchair Expert.

[2] This is a long time coming.

[3] I'm so excited.

[4] Me too.

[5] We've been trying to get this gal since we started.

[6] A decade.

[7] Yes.

[8] And I want to put it right here in the intro because she brings it up later that I wrote her letter to explain to her that she's my number one queen.

[9] Love letter.

[10] Of comedy.

[11] And on her ride here, she heard that I spoke similarly of Will Farrell, to which I replied, yes.

[12] of course also will feral in the mail department i want to state it cleanly clearly julia louis you're my queen i don't think there's a better comedian alive what do i do to the ground she walks on hump it no why don't we just go classic okay okay you're my queen you're my queen i love you in every word i wrote to you was sincere so yes julia louis dreyfus i don't even need to read this list but I'm gonna Seinfeld, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Curb Your Enthusiasm, it just simply doesn't get better than her.

[13] No, it does not.

[14] What a dream.

[15] I was really proud of you because you were very deferential and kind despite the fact that she has 24 Emmy nominations.

[16] And I only have one and I'm jealous.

[17] Yes, yes.

[18] I thought it was really big of you to be able to enjoy her success.

[19] Well, I'm really big on the inside.

[20] Yeah, I wonder though what age her first Emmy nomination was because you're only 31.

[21] I have time.

[22] Yeah, I have time to get rack up 20.

[23] I think you need to get nominated every single year going forward.

[24] That's a good goal.

[25] Yeah, it's a really realistic goal.

[26] I'm going to do that.

[27] You do.

[28] You want all those accolades?

[29] Yeah.

[30] Well, you deserve them.

[31] I like winning.

[32] Okay, well, gang, Julia Louis Dryfuss, please enjoy our favorite queen.

[33] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[34] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app.

[35] or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[36] Now, I've only written a few love letters to get a guest on the show.

[37] Yeah.

[38] Did my love letter get to you?

[39] Yeah.

[40] Okay.

[41] When I was really trying to straddle too much and just charming enough.

[42] Yes.

[43] How did I do?

[44] You did really well, but then on my drive over here today, I listened to your interview of Will Ferrell or part of it.

[45] Yeah.

[46] And you said the same loving things to him.

[47] Well, here's the thing.

[48] So I think you're full of bullshit.

[49] What if I told you this, though?

[50] He is my male and you're my female.

[51] Yeah.

[52] That's probably true.

[53] No, it's 100 % true.

[54] Listen, I have a lot of documentation to back me up.

[55] If you were to have consumed all 120 episodes of this show, you would have heard me talk about how in love I am with you many times, completely unmotivated by getting you on the show.

[56] Really?

[57] Yes.

[58] Well, that's really nice.

[59] Thank you very much.

[60] Now I'm starting to feel better again.

[61] Okay, good.

[62] But yes, you definitely listen to the worst episode possible in Will Ferrell if you were on high alert for me being a sycophant because I do worship him.

[63] I really do.

[64] Yeah, he's lovely.

[65] Yes.

[66] You just did a movie with him, right?

[67] I did, yeah.

[68] Yeah.

[69] Which one?

[70] We did a movie called Downhill, which is a remake of a Swedish film called Force Meijure.

[71] Will and I were practically living together for two months, January and February.

[72] And we were living together in Austria.

[73] Well, we weren't really living together.

[74] But our rooms were next door to one of them.

[75] They were.

[76] Yeah.

[77] And we were working all day long, and we were skiing and doing all this.

[78] I mean, it was crazy.

[79] Did you know Will before doing that movie?

[80] No. We had never, ever met.

[81] Do you play lovers in the film?

[82] Yes, husband and wife.

[83] Oh, you do?

[84] If you call husband and wife love that.

[85] No, no, in fact, I think it's antithetical to lovers being married.

[86] So you didn't know him, but you must have loved him like we all do, right?

[87] Of course.

[88] I'm a massive fan.

[89] Wait, are you a producer on the movie?

[90] I am.

[91] Okay, so you produced the movie.

[92] Did you bring it to Will?

[93] Yes.

[94] You did.

[95] Yes.

[96] And did the idea come from you, or did you option something?

[97] I made this movie a number years ago called a night.

[98] said with Fox Searchlight.

[99] And after that, I had a lunch meeting, and I was talking about a kind of story that I like.

[100] And that story is the notion of seeing life one way, and then a lens is sort of taken off of what you're seeing.

[101] And all of a sudden, reality is shifted dramatically.

[102] Yes.

[103] I like that theme.

[104] And they said, oh, we just saw this movie at Cannes or something.

[105] It's incredible.

[106] You should watch it.

[107] Blah, blah, blah.

[108] It's called this movie, Forcema, Jure, critically, hugely acclaimed Swedish film.

[109] Yeah.

[110] And so I watched it and I loved it and thus began the process of adapting it.

[111] Yeah, and now, because I've seen this done a few times, right?

[112] Like, Let the Right One In.

[113] Did you ever see that movie?

[114] No. Okay, I'm not into horror movies in general.

[115] Oh, yeah, I can't watch those.

[116] But this is just a beautiful love story called Let the Right One in.

[117] And I want to say it's Scandinavian of some variety.

[118] Some Danish, I think.

[119] It's beautiful.

[120] And then they remade it here.

[121] But wait a minute.

[122] I thought you just said it's a horror movie.

[123] It is.

[124] but it's not.

[125] Oh, I'm not watching that.

[126] Listen to me. Don't stop using trigger words, Monica.

[127] Well, I got to prepare her properly.

[128] If I was being sold this movie, the last thing I'd want to hear is vampires or horror.

[129] Let me just say it's a love story.

[130] Between a little creature who doesn't fit in.

[131] She's a young girl.

[132] Yeah.

[133] And a little boy who doesn't fit in at all either.

[134] Okay.

[135] She's a young vampire.

[136] Monica, please.

[137] I just got to be.

[138] Guys, enjoy watching it again.

[139] I can't.

[140] make it to that gathering.

[141] There's been exceptions, though, right?

[142] Like, Get Out?

[143] You must have seen Get Out.

[144] I saw only part of it.

[145] I had to walk out of the room.

[146] Oh, really?

[147] Yeah, I really get too scared at horror movies.

[148] Oh, I'm so envious.

[149] So Monica and Kristen also knows to, when there's a pop -out, they legit jump off the couch and stuff.

[150] I'm just looking at it with deep jealousy.

[151] My son has a friend, named Chase, and his friend Chase was at a horror movie.

[152] with my boy Charlie, and some pop -out happened, and Chase screamed and then fainted.

[153] Wow.

[154] He fainted.

[155] Fainted.

[156] He just passed out completely.

[157] I'm super jealous of Chase.

[158] That would be the ultimate experience to lose consciousness.

[159] He lost consciousness.

[160] Then he came to a few seconds later.

[161] And jumped right back into the movie?

[162] I guess so.

[163] I wasn't there to witness it, but when the boys do an impersonation of it, really laugh.

[164] What age were they at that point?

[165] they were teenagers okay because that can be an embarrassing thing too oh he wasn't embarrassed oh he wasn't no and he didn't need to be embarrassed he was with his buddy yeah yeah no I don't think he should have been embarrassed but I think young boys sometimes that could be seen at some kind of like lack of bravery or something correct but in this case he's very confident so oh wonderful I like chase yeah chase is great one time Monica and I went to the movies and I was carrying what was I had a very large bucket the biggest popcorn they sold I had the biggest Diet Coke they sold and then I had had some kind of sweets and then I tripped and you've never seen a fall more spectacular.

[166] I threw the bucket of popcorn in the air and the drink went everywhere and everything was raining down on me. And I laughed so hard.

[167] I then nearly peed my pants because I was just laying on my back completely covered and everything I just bought.

[168] It was the most spectacular, embarrassing.

[169] It looked like a cartoon fall.

[170] Let's just say if you were directing it, you would have been like, Dex.

[171] That was a 10 and we need maybe like a 3.

[172] You need to dial it down a 10.

[173] That is, by the way, some of the most humiliating directions you can get when you're in a scene.

[174] It's like, oh, that was hilarious.

[175] But here, you know what?

[176] We need to make it smaller.

[177] Right.

[178] You need to dial it back a little bit.

[179] And there's always that feeling of self -loathing in that moment, at least for me. It's true because going too small is not embarrassing.

[180] Like hearing like, oh, you could go bigger with that.

[181] For some reason, that's not embarrassing.

[182] But the fact that you've gone too big, there's something really human.

[183] When you just said that, it makes me kind of die on the inside.

[184] It is.

[185] It's humiliating because you've risked everything and you've made a fool of yourself.

[186] Right.

[187] And you've risked it all with good intention, which is more humiliating.

[188] Yes, but also getting caught being too small has this implicit humility layer to it.

[189] Like, oh, this person's so humble or shy.

[190] Less is more.

[191] Yeah, right.

[192] There's no character flaw in being too small.

[193] But being too big, the kind of implicit character flaw is...

[194] You're calling too much attention to yourself.

[195] Yes, you're a blowhard, you're an egomaniac.

[196] Which, by the way, is true.

[197] Of course it is.

[198] No one would be standing there if all that wasn't true.

[199] I can't believe you ever get that note because you're so natural.

[200] You're so small, I think.

[201] Get out of it.

[202] This is a beginning of a lot of confidence.

[203] Yeah, yeah.

[204] You're going to hate this.

[205] Just plug your ears for once again.

[206] I want to say the reason I'm so obsess.

[207] with you.

[208] Your unique ability is you can go gigantic and I totally believe it.

[209] It's almost impossible.

[210] You're doing at times something like SNL level out there and yet I completely buy it the whole time.

[211] It's almost impossible to pull off.

[212] That is very nice to be to say.

[213] Thank you.

[214] I think that's your singular thing I'm so blown away with regularly.

[215] You're the best ever at it.

[216] Thank you.

[217] That's very, very, very nice of you to say.

[218] There'll be more of that.

[219] But I mean, you want me to compliment you.

[220] No, I hate it.

[221] All I want.

[222] I like your tattoo.

[223] Okay, great.

[224] That I can accept.

[225] Yeah, because it's there and it's objectively kind of cute.

[226] It's a bell.

[227] Very nice.

[228] Can we talk about where you come from?

[229] Sure.

[230] Because I think it's a very interesting story.

[231] You don't think it is.

[232] I'm happy to talk about it.

[233] But where did I come from?

[234] My mom and dad.

[235] Yeah, but dad is French.

[236] I find that fascinating.

[237] Your father's a Frenchman, right?

[238] Yes.

[239] Yes.

[240] He's passed away now, but yes, he was French.

[241] He was born in Paris.

[242] When he was seven or eight, he moved to the states.

[243] Right.

[244] But he went back and forth his whole life because he's a very fraught childhood, horrible childhood, parents divorced.

[245] Well, World World War II is in there, right?

[246] World War II.

[247] And there's that.

[248] Right.

[249] And he's Jewish?

[250] Half Jewish.

[251] That's enough, I think.

[252] That's plenty for the bad guys.

[253] That's right.

[254] Oh, yeah.

[255] which makes me a quarter, I think also plenty for the bad.

[256] Oh, I think you're right.

[257] I think you're right.

[258] Although it wasn't, I mean, the war, yes, but really it was about the craziness in their family.

[259] It was very dysfunctional and his parents had an incredibly acrimonious divorce, lots of fighting.

[260] And at the center of it, right, there's a family business.

[261] Yes.

[262] Which is always rife for lots of conflict and family issues, right?

[263] Yeah.

[264] So my father, he was educated mainly in the States then.

[265] And then went to Duke.

[266] That's where he met my mom.

[267] My dad went to Duke Law School.

[268] And he became a lawyer and was a lawyer for a while, but didn't go into the family business until later.

[269] Probably when he was 30 or something.

[270] I don't know.

[271] So he told this story.

[272] And he was representing somebody who was being wrongfully accused of stealing a television or something.

[273] It's a terrible story.

[274] And the guy got sent away to prison.

[275] It was just so awful.

[276] Anyway, and my dad couldn't take it.

[277] It was too crushing the sadness for him.

[278] Social injustice just slayed him.

[279] Well, who in their life finds themselves in a position where someone's freedom is on their shoulders?

[280] I'm not ever in that position.

[281] No, nor am I. And it would be very hard.

[282] You know, it's easy in our business because you can say, oh, that didn't work out.

[283] I didn't get that job or that didn't, you know, whatever.

[284] Oh, well, who cares?

[285] Just showbiz.

[286] Right.

[287] As opposed to if you're representing the life of someone, oh, my God.

[288] Or how about this on the note cards at the end where you're testing your movie?

[289] They go, so, Julia, you know, you got a very low score.

[290] And consequently, three people here have been sent to prison because you didn't do your job very good.

[291] And incidentally, all three of them are innocent.

[292] Yes, yes.

[293] And had you been just a little bit more.

[294] Maybe not quite so broad.

[295] Right, right, right.

[296] In fact, we've isolated into the, it was your bigness that sent them.

[297] away for life so just dial it down now mom and dad though they get divorced you probably probably no memories for you of them be married right no none my earliest memories are just sort of being with my mom and so she didn't remarry again until you were eight I think they got separated when I was really little like a baby and then your fault totally yeah yeah yeah I was too just you know needy the way bad babies can be bad babies By the way, I had a high school boyfriend, and I was at his house once, and this was like the first boyfriend I ever had, and they were asking me about my family, and he said, when did your parents get divorced?

[298] And I said, I was really little.

[299] He goes, oh, so it was your fault, says the father.

[300] And I burst into tears.

[301] Oh, you did?

[302] Yes.

[303] I've subsequently sort of toughened up, so that you'll notice I didn't cry when you asked that.

[304] But I was a teenager.

[305] I was 16 or 17.

[306] And so talk about humiliation.

[307] Oh, my God.

[308] And then they served artichokes, and I didn't know how to eat artichokes.

[309] Oh, they're very hard to eat.

[310] Well, I had never actually really had them before.

[311] And this was a very waspy family.

[312] And so all of a sudden this thing that looks like that it would kill you in the desert.

[313] And we're supposed to eat it.

[314] And I'm like watching everyone.

[315] And then the heart and you've got to cut it.

[316] Oh, my God.

[317] Well, yeah, you're supposed to eat 4 % of it.

[318] 4 % of the leaf until you get to that heart.

[319] Oh, come on.

[320] Anyway, my mom and my dad, now, I mean, my, I call him.

[321] dad too, but he was my stepdad, but they got married when I was four.

[322] Oh, okay.

[323] And she married this wonderful man, very smart gentleman, doctor, and they've been married ever since, 54 years.

[324] That's incredible.

[325] That is incredible.

[326] What month is this?

[327] Yeah, they'll be married 54 years in July.

[328] Can you Oh, my gosh.

[329] No, I can't.

[330] I'm 12 years in.

[331] And you want to add, don't you?

[332] Yeah, as soon as they record Frozen And three, goodbye.

[333] But so this man, he was also the dean of a Georgia Washington University Medical School.

[334] He was.

[335] So he's real smart.

[336] This is not like.

[337] He's real smart.

[338] He was head of the American Board of Medical Examiners, too, for a long time.

[339] So he did a lot of really cool stuff.

[340] Now, having never seen a photograph of your mother, but knowing that she landed this kind of suave Frenchman and then a genius doctor, she's a catch, I'm assuming.

[341] Yeah, my mom is a catch.

[342] Yeah.

[343] Thank you for saying that.

[344] Do you guys look alike?

[345] A little bit.

[346] I'm not as pretty as my mom, but she's really a stunner.

[347] Then I want to meet her.

[348] Bad.

[349] Do I need to start calling you daddy now?

[350] Yes, I would love it.

[351] What a wonderful story if I became your stepfather.

[352] Oh, that would be kind of weird.

[353] It would.

[354] I'm getting used to calling you daddy.

[355] Okay, great, great, great.

[356] Daddy Dax.

[357] That's right.

[358] Oh, Daddy Dax.

[359] Yes.

[360] Because I called my dad's.

[361] is that daddy will and daddy tom oh you did yeah i mean when i'm with them i call him daddy but if i'm referring to well what did daddy will say what did daddy tom say completely understand i thought you were saying to their face in which case if my daughters ever end up saying to me daddy dacks the way that i'm going to call you yes no i'll love it from you from my daughters i will all it'll make me very aware of is that there's a daddy tom or something and it's not me now when you You moved to D .C. when you were eight.

[362] Yes.

[363] This is a fine time to move.

[364] You're in second grade, I guess.

[365] Well, we had been living in Sri Lanka, which was called Ceylon at the time.

[366] Oh, really?

[367] Yes, because Daddy Tom worked for an organization called Project Hope, which was a medical ship that went to third world countries and taught medical techniques and so on to doctors within those areas.

[368] Anyway, he was a part of that because he was a thoracic surgeon at the time.

[369] And so we live there for a year And then afterwards We didn't move back to New York We moved to Washington, D .C. And that's where I spent the rest of my youth I mean, I came...

[370] But you also went to like Cambodia And you went everywhere, right?

[371] No, I didn't go to Cambodia Okay, no Vietnam No Vietnam I'm gonna sue Wikipedia when I leave here, yeah Let me explain something to you about Wikipedia I was just looking at the other day And it is wrong Yeah And how do you, because I'd like to make some changes On my fucking Wikipedia page But they're not gonna listen to me, are they?

[372] Someone wrote that my real name was Daxymus Shepard.

[373] This is not true.

[374] It's just Dax.

[375] Okay.

[376] And so I thought I should try to change that.

[377] They won't let me edit that.

[378] Even though it's supposed to be open to editing by all people, I'm excluded from editing it.

[379] I have no explanation for that.

[380] Who owns Wikipedia?

[381] I don't understand.

[382] Actually, who does?

[383] We need to look into that.

[384] I have no idea.

[385] It's owned by the People's Republic of China, I think.

[386] We got to get on that.

[387] But I did travel to places because I lived in Tunisia and Colombia.

[388] What was it like as a kid going to these places?

[389] Did you feel uprooted every time that this?

[390] Yes.

[391] Yes.

[392] It was hard to be away from what I knew.

[393] Yeah.

[394] And I wasn't actually near my dad at that time.

[395] So that was also very hard.

[396] And you would have a best friend maybe at that time that you're like, okay, I'll see you in a year.

[397] We'll be completely different.

[398] Yeah.

[399] And by the way, we're not moving back to New York.

[400] We're going to D .C. Right.

[401] We'll pick up when I get to D .C., which will never happen.

[402] Correct.

[403] I find that heartbreaking.

[404] Yeah, it is a little heartbreaking.

[405] It was pretty hard.

[406] Definitely hard.

[407] And by the way, when I travel and I go to hotels and stuff, I very often change hotel rooms.

[408] And I think that's because I like to feel like I'm in control.

[409] Uh -huh.

[410] So if this hotel room isn't exactly what I wanted.

[411] And by the way, it sounds as if it's like, you know, I need champagne in every corner of the room.

[412] No, no, I'm not talking about that.

[413] It's more of a vibe thing.

[414] vibe thing.

[415] I have to see what other room in another area.

[416] This is not right.

[417] You know, I like taking control.

[418] Yeah.

[419] That kind of thing.

[420] Me too, because I had a lot of stepdad's.

[421] We constantly moved.

[422] I had a new bedroom all the time.

[423] And then I got obsessive about my bedroom having to stay the same no matter where we went.

[424] Oh, God.

[425] Yeah.

[426] So that that thing became consistent, where my bed was, where this little fucking entertainment thing was and where the nightstand was.

[427] I didn't want to feel like we were in a new place.

[428] And to this day, I've lived in L .A. 25 years, 10 of which in a one -bedroom apartment in Santa Monica that I could have left years before I had made enough money to leave there.

[429] And I just couldn't get myself to leave there because that was like the longest I had lived somewhere.

[430] And now I'm on like 15 years in the same house.

[431] Yeah.

[432] So I'm 24 years in the same house, by the way.

[433] Oh, you are?

[434] Oh, yeah.

[435] And I keep toying with leaving.

[436] But I'm not.

[437] Yeah.

[438] But the one thing I will say, though, in defense of my parents, the school system when I was in Sri Lanka was very different.

[439] I was in a school and they were very, very ahead with math.

[440] And I was in maybe first or second grade then.

[441] And the reading was incredibly behind.

[442] There was virtually no reading.

[443] So what happened was after school, my parents would tutor me. And I have very fond memories of that.

[444] Oh, okay.

[445] Yeah.

[446] My mom, we did a lot of these readers digest, was putting out a thing for kids.

[447] So we did a lot of reading.

[448] And then my stepdad taught me my multiplication tables.

[449] He made up a dance and a song.

[450] Uh -huh.

[451] And we would dance around the room singing multiplication tables.

[452] I really like this guy.

[453] Yeah, he was cool.

[454] You got pretty lucky for the stepdad lottery.

[455] Yeah, I did.

[456] Yeah.

[457] Now, did you develop any weird OCD stuff around this period?

[458] No. I developed a ton of weird tics.

[459] and rituals, and I had to do everything twice.

[460] And I stayed there until I started smoking cigarettes when I was like 15.

[461] That'll do it.

[462] Do you still smoke?

[463] No, no, no. It's been 14 years.

[464] Was it very hard to quit?

[465] Incredibly hard to quit.

[466] Were you ever a smoker?

[467] I was.

[468] Yeah.

[469] But not a heavy smoker, but I did smoke.

[470] But enough.

[471] Enough so that it was bad for me. Sure, sure, sure.

[472] I think any amount.

[473] I think one would be enough.

[474] I have that opinion of you, and I'm trying to think of why I do.

[475] That she smoked?

[476] That she did smoke a little bit.

[477] Probably the French thing.

[478] I don't know.

[479] Maybe because I give off a cool vibe.

[480] Honestly.

[481] We all know only cool people smoke.

[482] That's right.

[483] That's why more.

[484] I wish smoking was good for you because it's an amazing prop.

[485] I couldn't agree more.

[486] I will tell you, my grandmother was a smoker and an alcoholic.

[487] And she also wore a perfume called Youth Doe by Estee Lauder.

[488] Very strong.

[489] Pungent.

[490] Bold?

[491] Yeah.

[492] and the combo of like scotch and cigarettes and perfume sends me into a reverie.

[493] I love it so much.

[494] And ambrosia.

[495] I adore it.

[496] If I go by somebody smoking on the sidewalk, I will admit that I will inhale as I think.

[497] Oh, you do.

[498] I like the smell.

[499] I really do.

[500] Now, D .C., how was D .C. to grow up in?

[501] My experience was it was very conservative when I was favorite.

[502] Oh, okay.

[503] Okay, because I was a little girl there in the 70s, and we're talking Nixon.

[504] and it's a very insular town, much the way Los Angeles is to show business, D .C. is to politics.

[505] It's a company town.

[506] It's very company.

[507] And conservative.

[508] It's a southern place.

[509] And I went to a very conservative schools.

[510] All girls.

[511] All girls, yeah.

[512] Which, by the way, I'm an advocate for.

[513] I think that's a great idea.

[514] There's a lot of benefit to single -sex education for girls in particular.

[515] But this particular school, when I was there, was very conservative.

[516] And the benefit, as I understand it, correct me if I'm wrong, is that like you're allowed to be your true self without any concern of whether you're getting approval or not from boys.

[517] There's no that dynamic of like.

[518] Yeah, I don't know if I'd say true self, but I would say truer.

[519] There's more of an opportunity to be assertive and powerful.

[520] Well, right, because girls will downplay how smart they are in public schools, right?

[521] They'll downplay how funny they are.

[522] Anything that could potentially humiliate the white boy is avoided, right?

[523] I think so to a certain extent.

[524] Yeah.

[525] I think girls sort of are demure to, and I mean, women do it.

[526] You know, you see it all the time.

[527] Yeah, yeah.

[528] Now, I wonder, because I have two little girls.

[529] How old are they?

[530] Four and six.

[531] Oh, that's so nice.

[532] Oh, I know.

[533] There's the most fun, delicious, yummy.

[534] Oh, of course.

[535] Although I've been saying this, though, every age they've been at, but this feels really good.

[536] Yeah.

[537] It's only going to get better, FYI.

[538] Which is mind -blowing.

[539] Yeah, but it's true.

[540] Someone pointed out that there's many things that as a guy you don't even consider because you're trapped and locked in your own perspective.

[541] But growing up in an elementary school, there's photos all over the top of the classroom.

[542] And it's like George Washington and Abe Lincoln and maybe it's Einstein and it's Isaac Newton.

[543] And you're just subconsciously, you're absorbing like, oh, everyone important is a man. Well, not just that, but they're a white man. They're a white man. So in the all -girls school, were there pictures of women up?

[544] I mean, was it...

[545] I don't remember that.

[546] I don't remember a lot of talk of female empowerment.

[547] Uh -huh.

[548] This was the 70s.

[549] The only question I have remaining about that is, how do you date if you go to an all -girls school?

[550] We had a boy school, our brother's school.

[551] How often you get to commingle, cross -pollinate?

[552] Not a lot.

[553] I would think not, right?

[554] There's a couple dances a year or something?

[555] There were dances, and then there was a school play.

[556] Ding, ding, ding, ding.

[557] A school play.

[558] That was a mutual school play.

[559] Yes.

[560] Were you boy crazy at all or no?

[561] Yes.

[562] You were.

[563] Yes.

[564] I mean, looking back on it, I would say yes.

[565] I mean, I was kind of obsessive about, you know, certain boys.

[566] Uh -huh.

[567] To my detriment, I think.

[568] Oh, really?

[569] Yes.

[570] In what way?

[571] Do I have to pay you for this session?

[572] It is on the house.

[573] I think I was a little.

[574] little too willing to go along with whatever they wanted.

[575] I got you.

[576] And I wish I had been a little more in tune with my own desires.

[577] That makes sense.

[578] People aren't talking about anything like that when I was in school, at least at this school they weren't.

[579] I mean, we knew how babies were made.

[580] There was some sort of sex ed class.

[581] Don't ask me, I can't even remember, but very limited.

[582] But there was no talk about your own body and how to man, you know, none of that.

[583] Right.

[584] The pill at that point's not very old.

[585] There's all these things that are all about to happen or happening.

[586] No, no, the pill's been around.

[587] That was in the 60s.

[588] Oh, it was?

[589] Oh, it was?

[590] Oh, yes.

[591] I'm so embarrassed.

[592] I thought it was the 70s.

[593] No. Okay.

[594] You can edit that out.

[595] No, no, no. Her favorite thing is every time I'm wrong to...

[596] Well, maybe I'm wrong.

[597] No, no, you're probably right.

[598] We do a segment at the end of this where I check all the facts, so I'll check and I hope he's wrong.

[599] Okay.

[600] Okay.

[601] Okay.

[602] I guess anyways, my point being is you.

[603] You are.

[604] are kind of at the vanguard of this transition where women are now actually going to have careers.

[605] It's going to be less expected that you're just going to find a mate who's going to provide for you.

[606] Like that that's all kind of starting to happen.

[607] Yeah, I think maybe so.

[608] You've got like one foot in both sides because like my mother was raised, just get a husband.

[609] That's priority number one.

[610] Even if you get a degree, that's just so that you're a better conversationalist for him.

[611] Right.

[612] Right.

[613] God, is that depressing?

[614] I mean, that's the worst.

[615] sentence I've ever heard.

[616] I think it's true, though, right?

[617] I think it's probably true, but, ugh.

[618] Yeah.

[619] God damn it.

[620] It's so unhappy making.

[621] But then I think shortly thereafter, it's like you're going to need to support yourself.

[622] That became kind of more the mantra in the 80s for kids.

[623] Yeah, I think so.

[624] So at any rate, you found your way to Northwestern.

[625] I did.

[626] Yes, which of all these schools that are fancy, It's the one I seem to be most drawn to.

[627] And for good reason, it's a great place.

[628] It's that Midwest thing, man. You can't beat it.

[629] Yeah.

[630] I think.

[631] I'm from, that's my backyard.

[632] Those are your people.

[633] They're my people.

[634] And I believe in it.

[635] I really do.

[636] I love that school.

[637] Our younger son goes there now, and it's a much better school now than it was when I was there.

[638] But even so, I mean, the people that I met there, oh, my God.

[639] It changed my life completely.

[640] There's an effervescence to that place and to the students and the friends that I made that really just sort of completely changed my life.

[641] Well, when you say earlier that you like stories where someone has basically an epiphany or revelation or a lens change, would you say for you that was one of those?

[642] I would say so, yeah.

[643] I did have this feeling when I got there.

[644] I felt like I could do anything.

[645] Uh -huh.

[646] Uh -huh.

[647] I don't know that I actually thought those words in my head, but looking back on it.

[648] Oh, things are shifting.

[649] Uh -huh.

[650] Things are shifting.

[651] nights to watch it.

[652] And I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

[653] It was incredible to watch those early shows.

[654] They were pushing against the man. Yeah, it was very cool and revolty.

[655] Very revolty.

[656] Yes, but not revolting, but revoltee for sure.

[657] Yeah, with the Y, man. For the big, big capital Y. I think that's part of its sustain power.

[658] It's just a bit anarchinistic.

[659] How do I say Yes.

[660] It has an anachian.

[661] It has an anachynistic.

[662] Anachronistic.

[663] Anna -Korina?

[664] It's like Anna -Korinana.

[665] It's very much like Anna -Korinana.

[666] Which is a marvelous work of It's my favorite.

[667] Me too.

[668] I'm so happy.

[669] You brought that up.

[670] Me too.

[671] Yeah, there was definitely like a movement behind.

[672] Anyways, it was very, very cool.

[673] But you got into comedy while you were at Northwestern, right?

[674] When I went to Northwestern, I went to study acting.

[675] So I did a lot of serious work.

[676] But But then I got into this student -run improv group on campus, which was huge.

[677] But prior to that improv troupe, when you would fantasize about life as an actor, were you imagining more a dramatic that you would be more of a...

[678] I was just imagining all of it.

[679] It wasn't a category.

[680] Right.

[681] Because some people discover they're great at comedy, right?

[682] They're like, Will Arnette was very much going to be a thesbian.

[683] And I was like, couldn't help but notice, oh, I'm funny.

[684] It kind of comes easy to me. And then it just changed in that direction.

[685] So like that happens to people, for sure.

[686] Yeah, it does.

[687] By the way, it's Thespian.

[688] Okay.

[689] What did I say?

[690] Being as in lesbian.

[691] Oh, you would love being Monica because I mispronounce 10 % of words that I say.

[692] Oh, yeah.

[693] And you should hear me. Vietnamese is one that I just can't.

[694] You know what?

[695] Vietnamese.

[696] I can't get it.

[697] I can't.

[698] He's trying to say Vietnamese, but he just cannot say.

[699] I'm going to make you feel better.

[700] I, my whole life said Massachusetts.

[701] Oh, wow.

[702] Yeah, that's something I would say.

[703] Doesn't that sound right, though?

[704] It does, yeah, Massachusetts.

[705] And it wasn't until I was like in my 40s when my husband said, we might say that again?

[706] Sure, sure.

[707] And I said, when we go to Massachusetts and he says, you know that's not how you say it.

[708] I said, yes, it is.

[709] What are you doing?

[710] It's making me feel bad about myself.

[711] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[712] What's up, guys?

[713] It's your girl Kiki.

[714] and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[715] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[716] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[717] And I don't mean just friends.

[718] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[719] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[720] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[721] We've all been there.

[722] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[723] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[724] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[725] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[726] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[727] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[728] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[729] Prime members can listen early and ad free on Amazon Music.

[730] That's one of the most common sentences I hear from my wife is, you know you're not saying that, right?

[731] As if anyone would know and then choose to just keep going with it.

[732] Of course I don't know I'm not saying, well, at this point, that's kind of got some comedic value.

[733] Brad, your husband, which, by the way, celebrating your mom is something, but you're at 33 years, something?

[734] We will be 32 years married this month, yeah.

[735] Wow.

[736] That is fucking bonkers.

[737] That is crazy.

[738] It is.

[739] And the only thing I don't like about that fact?

[740] I can guess.

[741] Go.

[742] Is implicit in it is that you're older.

[743] Yeah.

[744] Yeah.

[745] I'm like this old lady now.

[746] Yeah, yeah.

[747] Yeah, to have been married for 33 years, you're minimally 35.

[748] I'd rather say like we've been married, you know, 14 years.

[749] Yes.

[750] Yeah.

[751] And do you have this thing grown -ass gentleman with a beard will stop me and go, brother, I fucking watched your movies at Thorough when I was six every day?

[752] I'm like, oh, my God, I was acting while this man was six.

[753] Does that happen to you?

[754] Like, oh, my God, when I was a little kid, I love.

[755] The time.

[756] I remember when, where were we?

[757] What was the Golden Globes or something?

[758] something?

[759] Uh -huh.

[760] And Lena got up.

[761] She had won.

[762] Oh, sure.

[763] Lina Donnell.

[764] And yeah, and she's wonderful, of course.

[765] We love her.

[766] Love.

[767] Yeah.

[768] And she thanked me and Tina for being people that she watched.

[769] Uh -huh.

[770] And I remember.

[771] Thank you, but no, thank you.

[772] Yeah.

[773] Congrats.

[774] Go fuck yourself.

[775] I hope you fucking try to eat that Emmy and choke on it and die a painful death.

[776] See, I've been working with Sam Elliott for the last year and a half, and I adore him.

[777] And I just always find myself like, ooh, but you got to phrase this exactly right.

[778] You know, like I want to tell him how mancho I thought he was in Roadhouse.

[779] But on some level, too, I probably wouldn't have watched Roadhouse if I was 35.

[780] It's definitely a movie for a 12 -year -old.

[781] Uh -huh.

[782] Just two guys beating everyone up, they meet.

[783] Right.

[784] And then at the end of the day, they win for doing that.

[785] Okay.

[786] It just really appeals to a 12 -year -old.

[787] Sure.

[788] Anywho.

[789] 12 -year -old boy.

[790] FYI, I have not seen this film.

[791] Patrick, you haven't seen the Patrick Swayze film, Roadhouse?

[792] No, sir.

[793] Okay, well, now it works on a totally different level.

[794] I really recommend you see it.

[795] There is a close -up.

[796] He gets out of bed naked, a Swayze.

[797] He walks across the room to grab his jeans.

[798] He's pulling up his jeans, and then we pop into a close -up of his butt cheeks, and he tightens them, and then the jeans go up.

[799] What you know for sure is that Swayze decided, guys, are we going close?

[800] I know we got this in a wide, but are we going close on my butt cheeks?

[801] And tell me when the camera lands because I'm going to clench them.

[802] Right.

[803] And where was the person to come in and say, Patrick, can you dial that down?

[804] By the way, by the way, we might be seeing it dialed down.

[805] Oh, I'm sure you're seeing the subtle for your consideration performance of the butt cheeks.

[806] That's amazing.

[807] I'm watching the movie.

[808] Okay, thank you so much.

[809] And then when you're doing it, another fun thing to look for is he is my favorite day player of all time.

[810] His name is John Doe.

[811] We noticed this guy at one point in the movie, he's shooting a shotgun at a monster truck coming at him.

[812] And while he's shooting the shotgun, his leg is bouncing up all the way up and down.

[813] And like the scene passes and Nate goes, holy shit, go back.

[814] How do we miss this?

[815] This guy is kicking his leg every time he shoots the gun.

[816] We watch it like four times.

[817] we're like, this is the biggest choice I've ever seen in a movie.

[818] Nate goes, go back to that other scene he was in.

[819] So then we rewind further.

[820] There's a scene he's just kind of in the background, but he's got a straw, and he's put the straw in his mouth, and he's winding it around his mouth.

[821] And he's in the background, he's doing it just subtle enough that we had never noticed.

[822] And then it goes, go back.

[823] So we go back to the next scene, this guy's in.

[824] He's got a wet bar rag, and he just throws it at Swayze's face, unmotivated.

[825] And we realize this guy's making the biggest choices in the whole movie who's this guy, we got to find out all of his work and watch all of his work.

[826] He's also in Poultergeist.

[827] You remember the film Poultergeist?

[828] Of course I do, yeah.

[829] Well, were you able to watch that?

[830] Because you don't like your scary movies.

[831] I did, but that wasn't, that was before scary movies became insane.

[832] My last film was Silence of the Lambs, and then that was it, I was out.

[833] You called it.

[834] I saw Silence of the Lambs.

[835] I almost vomited.

[836] I could not bear it.

[837] It was so terrifying with that woman in the pit in the house.

[838] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[839] That was so awful.

[840] It puts the lotion on that.

[841] Don't even say that.

[842] It's so foul.

[843] Then my younger son is, well, all of these kids, they seem to love horror movies.

[844] So he saw this movie Hereditary.

[845] He was nuts for it.

[846] He said, Mom, it's the best movie.

[847] You've got to see it.

[848] I said, Charlie, there is no way I'm going to that film.

[849] He goes, got to it's a masterpiece.

[850] It's a masterpiece.

[851] And so I said, okay, look, I'll go because for two reasons.

[852] One is, I know Tony Collette.

[853] She's a friend of mine.

[854] We work together.

[855] so I know she's not really haunted or crazy or a murderer or whatever it is.

[856] Well, you can call her at the end of the film in case she dies and just confirm.

[857] Excuse me, I did text her afterwards because I wanted to make sure that it wasn't real.

[858] And then I said to Charlie, look, every time something scary is going to happen, I have to sit next to you and you just poke my leg.

[859] Right, heads up.

[860] And then I just close my eyes and put my fingers in my ears.

[861] and then he would poke me again when it was over.

[862] So I missed about 75 % of the film.

[863] What did you think of the film?

[864] I loved it.

[865] Every second.

[866] It was a masterpiece, indeed.

[867] Oh, that's great.

[868] Do you think you hate these horror movies so much because you're just feeling it so intensely?

[869] Like, are you really emotional in general?

[870] Generally speaking, I guess I am.

[871] I just don't like to be scared.

[872] Yeah.

[873] That's not comfortable for me. a comfortable place.

[874] I'd rather cry really hard.

[875] I can take that.

[876] But there's something about being really frightened of torturers and murderers and things.

[877] I can't handle that.

[878] Yeah.

[879] Do you like comedies?

[880] Love.

[881] You do.

[882] Of course.

[883] Well, you say, of course, though, but I know many comedians, myself included, probably the least amount of stuff I consume.

[884] I'm like really into dramas, the serialized TV.

[885] But I guess what I mean is, of course, for really good comedy.

[886] You love really good companies.

[887] Of course.

[888] Yes.

[889] Yes.

[890] I love it.

[891] But I'm very judgy, too.

[892] Or shall we say, educated, I've been doing it a while.

[893] Well, the analogy I gave to my mother -in -law, who's a nurse, she was getting really mad because Chris and I were watching a reenactment on TV and we're being very critical of the acting that was going on.

[894] And she eventually said, you guys are so mean.

[895] And I said, well, imagine this.

[896] You're watching a program about nurses and And the scene is a woman taking blood with a carrot.

[897] Would you not laugh because you know how one takes blood?

[898] It's not with a carrot.

[899] I go, you know, extend us that.

[900] Like, we know it's probably supposed to be happening.

[901] Right.

[902] Or some realm of what should be happening.

[903] That's a very, very good analogy.

[904] Speaking of which, I think I had a nurse who took blood with a carrot.

[905] Oh, you don't really?

[906] I still have a bruise on my hand.

[907] It was hurting me last night, that dumb bitch.

[908] I'm having a carrot.

[909] I'm already, I'm having a panic.

[910] Because I could talk to you for six hours.

[911] Well, I'm happy to talk.

[912] I don't have to.

[913] I do have to go through some pictures in the afternoon, but that's it.

[914] Okay.

[915] Photo kills?

[916] Yep.

[917] Let me just explain really quick what it is.

[918] So when you're doing something on set as an actor, there's a set photographer who's taking upwards of 25 ,000 photographs.

[919] And then that lands in the studio's hands.

[920] And then they want to release some of those for magazines and publicity.

[921] So you have a right as an actor to kill some percentage of those shots.

[922] That's a negotiated position.

[923] Right.

[924] You're right.

[925] Some people don't even get to kill them.

[926] and then it's a sliding scale of how many you can kill.

[927] Well, they don't do any editing before they send it to you.

[928] They just send you 25 ,000 photographs.

[929] And many of them you look are, in my case, like a fucking gargoyle getting electrocuted.

[930] Yes.

[931] Well, and for me now, because I've been doing this for so many years, try watching yourself age over that process.

[932] Right.

[933] That is intense.

[934] Uh -huh.

[935] It's like all of a sudden, oh, shit, I got this jowl thing starting.

[936] I know I can see where I'm headed 15 years from now.

[937] It's bad.

[938] Motherfuckers, it's bad.

[939] And I can't believe it.

[940] I mean, it's so self -obsessive, of course.

[941] But you're watching this happen sort of almost as a viewer.

[942] It's weird, but it's you.

[943] Well, look, sure, it's self -obsessive, but I don't think there's anyone who's not self -obsessive about how they look.

[944] I think we all in general, all humans have a hard time acknowledging really how old we are, like recognizing like, oh, wow, we're here.

[945] Can I ask you how old you are?

[946] 44.

[947] 44 is my favorite number.

[948] It was my whole life when I was a kid.

[949] I loved the number 44.

[950] Four is my favorite number.

[951] Oh, it is?

[952] It is because of the OCD stuff.

[953] It's the ultimately even thing.

[954] So you must be so happy to be 44.

[955] I'm delighted, yeah.

[956] Yeah, no kidding.

[957] I'm not making a joke.

[958] I am in that sense, yes.

[959] No, as you get older, you can't believe it's happening to you, which is so absurd because it's, If you're lucky it does, but you are astonished that it is happening to you, astonished.

[960] Largely the reason is I feel like I'm 12 years old.

[961] Right.

[962] Well, I don't feel like I'm 12, but I do feel like I'm probably in my mind, in my 20s.

[963] Slightly smarter version of myself in my 20s.

[964] Yes.

[965] That's how I feel.

[966] Indeed.

[967] But I kept waiting for some seismic shift of feeling older and it's just not happening.

[968] seemingly it's not you know what i'm not waking up going like i feel mentally older and so this exterior matches what my interior feels like yeah i don't feel that way there's a lot of incongruity for me yeah i i think that's probably the case for most people it's really hard to wrap your head around it is yet here it is so basic yes and then of course from my perspective you're still a 10 A 10?

[969] You're a 10.

[970] Oh, please.

[971] Listen, Julia, my wife dies and Brad gets lost overseas.

[972] Yeah.

[973] I'm going to immediately try to marry you.

[974] But you're her dad, too.

[975] How are you going to be her dad?

[976] It's cool.

[977] We dig incest in this relationship.

[978] Don't try to put your conventional boundaries on.

[979] We do have one issue, and it's called that goddamn tattoo on your finger.

[980] Well, I have a solution.

[981] You already have 20 fucking names.

[982] Yeah.

[983] We just pop bell somewhere.

[984] in there.

[985] Oh, genius.

[986] Fix.

[987] And then we're good to go.

[988] Yeah.

[989] You really do have, what, six names?

[990] Julia Scarlett, Elizabeth.

[991] You know what?

[992] It's not Elizabeth.

[993] And thank you Wikipedia.

[994] Oh, Wikipedia.

[995] It's E. It's Julia Scarlet E or E. Scarlet.

[996] That's the truth.

[997] You don't even know.

[998] I don't Louis Dreyfus Hall, as a matter of fact.

[999] Oh, okay.

[1000] I'm not really a hall now.

[1001] It's exhausting.

[1002] It's very hard.

[1003] You meet Brad, though, in this, this improv group and he wasn't in the improv group but yeah I met him through people in the improv did he start interview is it's fine but I mean it's minor it doesn't matter I should have just said yes no correct us we're all about corrections here this is definitely the most error laden one I've ever had wouldn't you agree huh error error error error as opposed to error that's what I heard it is a list of things you say it is error laden though as well Wouldn't you agree?

[1004] The A season, and there's plenty of air.

[1005] No, it's all good.

[1006] Okay.

[1007] So whatever, Brad's not even in the picture.

[1008] You meet him at Northwestern, though.

[1009] We can agree on that?

[1010] We definitely did.

[1011] And then you did get SNL from...

[1012] Doing a show in Chicago with his theater company.

[1013] Brad and his buddy, Paul Baras, started a theater company in Chicago, co -practical theater company.

[1014] It was a really big success.

[1015] And we were doing a show, and the producers from an SNL came and saw the show, and off we went.

[1016] We were hired.

[1017] That is bonkers, right?

[1018] Bonkers.

[1019] I was 21.

[1020] And no audition, just from the show?

[1021] Correct.

[1022] You love the show as we talked about.

[1023] So you know the level of, not only is there a level, but then there's also in your own mind what you think those people are.

[1024] Yes.

[1025] Were you at all like, oh, no, I'm a fraud.

[1026] There's no way.

[1027] No. Oh, good.

[1028] No, I didn't panic.

[1029] I was just out of my mind.

[1030] Yeah, I'm doing it.

[1031] I mean, it's like, I was like, we're going.

[1032] We are going.

[1033] Yeah.

[1034] Once I got there.

[1035] And then I saw what this was about That was a different deal I wasn't a writer I wasn't a stand -up I didn't have a bag of characters That I could pull from I was just a really Happy ensemble improv player Right And an actor And when I got to S &L It was a different set of producers Producing was Dick Ebersaw Lauren was not there Yeah So it was a different time Although there were some great performances that, you know, Eddie Murphy was there and later Billy Crystal and Marty short were there and stuff.

[1036] But the culture there was not female friendly.

[1037] It was very druggie, but I was incredibly naive and I didn't realize that it was druggy.

[1038] Okay.

[1039] I just thought everybody was super jazzed, you know.

[1040] Very excited.

[1041] Laughing really hard at jokes and I wasn't getting, you know.

[1042] Right.

[1043] Right.

[1044] And I was very, very naive.

[1045] I did not come in sort of armed for the situation at all.

[1046] But I learned as I went.

[1047] I mean, it was real trial by fire.

[1048] And I kind of failed in a lot of ways, but there was a lot to be gained from that failure.

[1049] Right.

[1050] A lot.

[1051] When you went on the stage, which you had stared at on TV a bazillion times, I've never performed on that stage, but I've gone to shows there.

[1052] And just looking at it for me is really.

[1053] the most iconic set for me in the world.

[1054] Yes, it's very iconic now, yeah.

[1055] Yeah, and did you feel when you walked out there, like, oh, wow.

[1056] Well, the first sketch I was in, Chevy was in it remotely playing the shark.

[1057] And I just couldn't believe it.

[1058] It was just, it was heady.

[1059] It was otherworldly.

[1060] I was sort of floating above it as it was happening.

[1061] Right.

[1062] It was very hard to digest.

[1063] And it became harder to digest when it became clear that this.

[1064] wasn't what I thought it was.

[1065] So that was very tricky.

[1066] But looking back on it, it's totally informed my life in a million ways.

[1067] And I had the great pleasure of going back to host a couple times.

[1068] And that was amazing because that's like getting to redo your high school or something.

[1069] And I just knew.

[1070] It's the same.

[1071] I mean, it is the same schedule.

[1072] You know, it's, I knew what to expect.

[1073] I knew what I needed to do as a host to make sure that I was covered.

[1074] and I knew a lot going into it that I had learned from being there for three years.

[1075] Yeah.

[1076] And Brad wrote there, right?

[1077] Yeah, Brad was there for two years and I was there for three.

[1078] Brad was doing the news.

[1079] Oh, right.

[1080] He did weekend update.

[1081] He did weekend update, yeah.

[1082] Yeah, and he's a very tall gentleman.

[1083] Yes.

[1084] Yes, and a handsome gentleman.

[1085] Very.

[1086] Were you immediately in love with him when you met him?

[1087] Almost immediately.

[1088] I remember seeing him having an argument with his girlfriend, and as I was walking by, and we kind of knew each other through friends.

[1089] He looked at me and he goes, we're having a huge fight.

[1090] And I thought, that guy's interesting.

[1091] Uh -huh.

[1092] And then shortly thereafter, yeah, definitely fell deep for that guy.

[1093] What was his experience on SNL?

[1094] Was it better than yours?

[1095] No, it was the same.

[1096] Although he had more success there than I had, but it was very, very tough time.

[1097] Because it could have been really hard if he was having the time of his life.

[1098] And you were having a hard time finding your footing.

[1099] I mean, it was hard.

[1100] He was getting more air time and stuff like that.

[1101] But that part of it was not hard for me. I mean, that wasn't like I didn't feel resentful or anything of that fact.

[1102] It was just all so complicated.

[1103] And then Larry David was there.

[1104] Well, that's what I was going to say?

[1105] He wrote for one year there, right?

[1106] Yeah.

[1107] So the year that Brad was not there, Larry was there that year.

[1108] And Larry was miserable.

[1109] And so we sort of bonded from that.

[1110] That's how I met him.

[1111] Yeah.

[1112] And you guys immediately got along.

[1113] Well, yeah, because he was a big complainer.

[1114] Uh -huh, uh -huh.

[1115] I like that.

[1116] Yeah.

[1117] I like, there's a kind of complaining negative person that I really love.

[1118] I guess complaining negative is too sort of broad a description.

[1119] Sometimes I think people who are negative are very intelligent.

[1120] So let's just put it that way.

[1121] Yes.

[1122] I mean, I think Lair is real intelligent.

[1123] Yeah, like cynical.

[1124] Cynical.

[1125] Thank you.

[1126] There we go.

[1127] Cynical.

[1128] There's our word.

[1129] Yeah.

[1130] Sarcastic and cynical.

[1131] That I really enjoy.

[1132] That is just yums.

[1133] Yes, but just unbridled bitching all the time.

[1134] No, that's exhausting.

[1135] I'm less and less tolerant of it.

[1136] Completely.

[1137] I couldn't agree with you more, yeah.

[1138] You dropped out of Northwestern 2 to go be on us and all, right?

[1139] Yeah.

[1140] Did that scare you at all?

[1141] Not at all.

[1142] Oh, okay, great.

[1143] Yeah.

[1144] Fuck it.

[1145] Okay.

[1146] Let's light this fucker on fire.

[1147] I mean, I was like, I got a job and show business.

[1148] Yeah.

[1149] What I want.

[1150] Yeah.

[1151] The job and show business, really.

[1152] Or so we thought.

[1153] Yeah, exactly.

[1154] When I left S &L, I stayed in New York for a year, tried to get work as an actor.

[1155] That wasn't working.

[1156] Uh -huh.

[1157] I mean, I just wasn't getting them.

[1158] And then I came out here to Los Angeles for a pilot season, and I did a pilot.

[1159] I got a job.

[1160] Mm -hmm.

[1161] It was a spinoff of family ties.

[1162] And I didn't get picked up, but I made money.

[1163] So that was kind of cool.

[1164] Right.

[1165] You know?

[1166] Yeah.

[1167] I was like, ooh, I got a little job.

[1168] So I moved out here, and then I was trying to get work out here.

[1169] and then I started to get jobs, but it was pounding pavement.

[1170] Warner Brothers wanted to make a deal with me an overall deal.

[1171] Amazing.

[1172] It felt so huge for me to develop a show for myself.

[1173] Whoa.

[1174] And I was like 28 years old or 29 or something, maybe 28.

[1175] And so I was like, yeah, let's do it.

[1176] And so we started working on a script and the script came in and I didn't really love that.

[1177] the script, okay?

[1178] It didn't feel right.

[1179] I remember calling my agent then, and I said, this isn't it.

[1180] I got to get out of this deal.

[1181] This doesn't feel good anymore.

[1182] And I had a legal out.

[1183] If I didn't like the material, I could get out.

[1184] Yeah.

[1185] So I did.

[1186] Uh -huh.

[1187] And then about four days later, I was sent two out of the first four Seinfeld Chronicle.

[1188] Oh my gosh.

[1189] Thanks.

[1190] Oh, my gosh.

[1191] So I read them and Lair has written them.

[1192] And I was like, yeah, it's a really a different vibe from anything else that's on TV and, you know, I didn't have much of a part.

[1193] Well, you weren't even in the pilot, correct?

[1194] I was not in the pilot.

[1195] So NBC picked it up for four episodes as a real vote of confidence.

[1196] And so, yeah, this looks interesting.

[1197] Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1198] So I meet with Larry, meet Jerry, you know, long story short, make a deal.

[1199] The next thing I know, I get a call for my attorney who says, Warner Brothers is threatening to sue you.

[1200] Oh, wow.

[1201] And I was like, what?

[1202] Why?

[1203] And it's because you, you know, took the other job and you knew what you were in.

[1204] And I said, no, but I didn't.

[1205] This was all in the up and up.

[1206] I didn't know that that was coming my way.

[1207] Yeah.

[1208] And he said, well, they want their money back.

[1209] And it was a lot of money.

[1210] It was $75 ,000, which was a lot fucking money.

[1211] This was a holding deal you had?

[1212] Development deal.

[1213] Oh, okay.

[1214] Yeah, or holding or whatever.

[1215] And it's still a lot.

[1216] of money today.

[1217] And so I was like, but if I give it back, that's going to imply I did something illegal and I didn't.

[1218] Right.

[1219] And I was advised to give it back.

[1220] And I said, but that doesn't sit right with me. And so I called my friend Gary David Goldberg.

[1221] He's the genius and the writer -creator behind family ties and Spin City.

[1222] And so he subsequently passed away.

[1223] God bless him.

[1224] But he was a mentor of mine and I explained to him the situation and he said to me you know I don't respond well to bullying said tell him to fuck off and so I did and they went away they never came back after me but I was scared because it was a big studio and I was at nothing so you get the show one thing I want to say Monica and I both love um coffee and cars with comedians or comedians and cars getting coffee whatever it is we particularly loved your episode because we were both like they have some kind of very special nice bond just upon the greeting I'm like oh he lights her up in a very fun way and she's in a zone that's very fun it felt kind of soul -maity you felt very soul -mating when we watched it yeah that's for sure it felt it was really cool to observe it we've only seen you guys as acting yeah these two characters and just just the greeting on the porch i'm like oh they had a very special nine -year thing which was probably so wonderful it was it was it was it was and did it start immediately like that or was it something that it did yeah really yeah fascinating yeah the first time we met and he was eating cereal and then we read a scene together on a couch like this, and it just felt natural.

[1225] Right.

[1226] And also, it felt like, oh, the kids are in charge.

[1227] Uh -huh.

[1228] Because it was just like Larry, my curmudgeon friend, this kid in sneakers eating cereal.

[1229] Okay, yeah.

[1230] Uh -huh.

[1231] And they think it's funny and it doesn't feel like normal sitcom.

[1232] It isn't set -up, set -up, set -up, joke, set -up, set -up joke, it wasn't like that.

[1233] Yeah.

[1234] The story's tiny, you know, I think I want to say I heard Jeryon Stern talking about that, as this is almost everyone's story that I know, is that he really wishes he would have been able to enjoy the process a bit more.

[1235] Like now, of course, looking back on it, it's a very special part of his life.

[1236] But at the time, it is work as well.

[1237] It's hard work.

[1238] It's hard work.

[1239] Were you able to enjoy it?

[1240] I mean, yes.

[1241] I was able to enjoy the playing of it.

[1242] Yes.

[1243] There was a lot of enjoyment.

[1244] I mean, Jerry may have been sort of in the moment forgetting that there was tremendous enjoyment because otherwise the show never would have worked.

[1245] I mean, you saw us having a good time and that was on screen.

[1246] And sometimes you even see him laughing at his own show.

[1247] I mean, Jerry will be the first to admit that he is not an actor at all.

[1248] Right, right.

[1249] You can see that guy howling at performances.

[1250] You see it in his eyes.

[1251] Yes.

[1252] Yeah, but it was a lot of work to write.

[1253] And it was a lot of pressure, you know.

[1254] It's a lot of pressure to be on a show year after year after year, particularly when it's your show at Seinfeld was for him.

[1255] But also, speaking for myself, I had two kids during this time.

[1256] So I was like one foot in that door and one fit in that door, and I was straddling the whole time.

[1257] Yes.

[1258] That was hard.

[1259] I mean, your wife is doing that right now, isn't she?

[1260] Well, she doesn't see our kids ever.

[1261] She's a very bad mom.

[1262] She's a wonderful mom, and yes, she's struggling it.

[1263] Yes.

[1264] So I have to imagine being on Seinfeld was had to be overwhelming in many ways being out in the real world with two kids and wanting privacy.

[1265] And that aspect of it had to be pretty enormous.

[1266] Well, it wasn't.

[1267] It wasn't.

[1268] I mean, first of all, I think Seinfeld became even more popular after it was off the air.

[1269] Really?

[1270] Yeah.

[1271] I mean, it was popular.

[1272] I don't mean to take away from it.

[1273] But I think that once it was gone, it's revered in a way that maybe it was.

[1274] wasn't at the time, you know, but it certainly was popular.

[1275] I don't mean to say it's not.

[1276] But also, this is going to sound boring, but I mean, I would go to work and we would work and then I would take, I brought the kids to work with me and I would take the kids and we would go home and, you know, it was like dinner and bath and we got to be.

[1277] You weren't moving throughout the greater world.

[1278] I wasn't.

[1279] So there was sort of, I mean, like the final episode of Seinfeld, I remember they put these barricades up because there were people on the street.

[1280] that we're trying to, with cameras and telephoto lenses, trying to get pictures of who is going to be on the show walking into the set.

[1281] And I just remember thinking, who gives a shit?

[1282] What is going on here?

[1283] I mean, it was very important to me, of course, and I understood that the value of the final episode, but there was a feeling to it that to a certain extent, I think I was a little bit unaware of.

[1284] That makes me sound like a real idiot, but I mean, to a certain extent, I was, but I remember once I was in the market with Henry, he was a little boy, he's probably four, and I was on the cover of some magazine, I don't know what it was, and we're going up to the register.

[1285] Probably popular mechanics.

[1286] Something like that, or Scientific American.

[1287] And we're going up to the register, Henry sees it.

[1288] And at that time, he's watching a lot of Tex -Avery cartoons, of course.

[1289] And he looks at it and he goes, Mom, look, you're a star, mom, you're a star.

[1290] And he yelled it in Gelson.

[1291] And I just remember saying, hen, hen, ch -ch -ch -ch -ch -ch -ch.

[1292] I couldn't get out of there quick enough.

[1293] Yeah, that's rough.

[1294] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1295] I think I'm overly concerned, having come from a rural -ish area of Michigan, where the richest person in town was rich because they had a swimming pool.

[1296] pool.

[1297] I'm overly concerned about my kids growing up here.

[1298] You should be.

[1299] Yeah.

[1300] With two parents who people know and they have a swimming pool.

[1301] Did you have the same fear and what things did you do to prevent them for turning into pieces of shit?

[1302] Yes, I did have the same fear.

[1303] And I don't know that I thought it through like that.

[1304] I mean, in other words, what can we do to prevent?

[1305] But it was a question of, of being present in their lives and they see how we live.

[1306] We don't have the fanciest house.

[1307] Believe me, I am a materialistic person.

[1308] Let's not kid ourselves.

[1309] But there's a kind of materialism that we don't embrace within our little family.

[1310] We're just cognizant of that.

[1311] There are certain conversations that we have had about, I don't know, values and giving back and all that kind of stuff that I think.

[1312] think has helped inform them.

[1313] I don't know.

[1314] Maybe both of my children are awful people, but I don't think that they are.

[1315] I doubt that they are.

[1316] They're not.

[1317] They're good people.

[1318] You could live in a spectacular place.

[1319] So just the choice to live, quotes, modestly for L .A., quotes, I think probably does say more than anything you could be lecturing them.

[1320] Like I have friends who, you know, they have 22 -bedroom houses and they're like trying to.

[1321] part on the kids some wisdom about it, but the actions are speaking way louder than the words.

[1322] Right.

[1323] My husband came from, you know, his dad was a minister.

[1324] They did not have a lot of money growing up at all.

[1325] And I grew up with my mom and my stepdad, and we were very comfortable, very comfortable middle class, right?

[1326] So you take that with you.

[1327] Right.

[1328] You know, you take that with you.

[1329] Yeah.

[1330] I don't know how else to say it, but you do.

[1331] Growing up, the rich people were, assholes right because the worst but by the way they usually are they often are yeah they often are and then yeah so I live in this weird zone of like trying to never lie to my kids yet I have this chip on my shoulder this class warfare chip on my shoulder yet I also could be defined by most people as rich so that's a very complicated thing for me yeah I just think I find it to be a a lot to navigate it is a lot to navigate it is it's hard yeah it's difficult but i mean parenting is hard you know if you didn't have means then it would be another kind of conversation yes yes well i read once in a malcolm gladwell book i found this fascinating that you know we know the number i've forgotten it but people's lives do get better to a certain amount of money then it plateaus for a while and then it goes down and the number is much lower than you would think i want i forget what it was it was in the 78 ,000 or something.

[1332] Yeah, but then I think it was updated to one something, but low ones.

[1333] Because I know somebody who came into a shit ton of money.

[1334] Okay.

[1335] Like millions and millions and millions.

[1336] Mm -hmm.

[1337] And he said to me that all he did was worry about it.

[1338] Mm -hmm.

[1339] Uh -huh.

[1340] Yeah.

[1341] Oh, yeah.

[1342] Keeping it safe.

[1343] How to keep it safe.

[1344] Yes.

[1345] One of my biggest hang -ups, definitely, is money.

[1346] Okay.

[1347] So that means that you would like go to the opening of a mall.

[1348] if they pay you?

[1349] Is that what you're talking about?

[1350] No, no, no, no, no. The annoying part is I'm aware enough to recognize it's a total illusion.

[1351] Secondly, it didn't cure all of my existential crises that I thought it would.

[1352] I don't look in the mirror and fucking high -five myself.

[1353] Like, it didn't come with any of the fantasy I had about having money.

[1354] You don't go like, ah.

[1355] Oh, money.

[1356] No, I don't.

[1357] don't.

[1358] And I know I don't.

[1359] And yet I'm still think it wouldn't be bad to have a billion just so I can shut that part of my brain off.

[1360] And then also.

[1361] You're headed to a billion?

[1362] Whatever the number is.

[1363] No, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying I tell myself.

[1364] Well, you say no, no, no, no, no. But if I give you a billion dollars to that, come to that mall, I sense you're coming now.

[1365] Oh, I will, I will live in them all for a year or two for a billion dollars.

[1366] And then I hope the mall then, bears my name when I leave the Dach Randall Shepard Mall of America's.

[1367] So even with all that awareness, I still do have this illusion that I will feel safe with a certain amount of money.

[1368] And yet I know it's all a fairy tale and that I will just have to decide at some point that I feel safe, which by the way, I've gotten much better at and I'm approaching that.

[1369] Do you have a weird journey with money?

[1370] maybe but then I got breast cancer right and what did that do well everything falls off everything and you know talk about a lens changer yeah so everything gets distilled well panic fear fear true fear yeah you know not hereditary fear the movie but true fear right and then everything everything that is precious becomes clear.

[1371] And money is not in that category.

[1372] Right.

[1373] Right.

[1374] I mean, it's really not.

[1375] Right.

[1376] Except to say that you need it maybe to fight.

[1377] That's my little money lecture.

[1378] Did you have breast cancer in your family?

[1379] Did you have any sense that this could happen to you?

[1380] No. It'd never been on your radar.

[1381] Never.

[1382] And you're having what a routine mammogram or something?

[1383] No, I just noticed something in my breasts, a little sort of slight divot.

[1384] I was like, what the hell is that?

[1385] That's so weird.

[1386] Uh -huh.

[1387] And Brad's like, you slept on it funny or something.

[1388] Yeah, I guess so.

[1389] Right.

[1390] And then you went and got it checked, and then you...

[1391] And then the shit hit the fan, man. It was really fast and furious.

[1392] Yeah.

[1393] You had to stop shooting, obviously, right?

[1394] We hadn't started shooting yet.

[1395] We had to delay.

[1396] This was September.

[1397] We were meant to start shooting in October, I believe.

[1398] And, in fact, it was the weekend of the Emmys.

[1399] and it was a Sunday night and Friday I went in and they biopsied it and my doctor said, I think you should prepare for bad news.

[1400] And I was like, what?

[1401] And then we had the Emmys.

[1402] You have to go to all those parties.

[1403] I don't remember any of it.

[1404] Or a bet not.

[1405] No. I was just on autopilot.

[1406] And then that night we won.

[1407] The show won.

[1408] It was all very exciting and I won and, you know, that was so exciting.

[1409] And then the next morning I got the call that it was, in fact, cancer.

[1410] Uh -huh.

[1411] And I will admit you, I started howling, laughing.

[1412] You did?

[1413] I did.

[1414] Because of the juxtaposition of the night before in the morning.

[1415] Yeah.

[1416] It is pretty funny.

[1417] No, it is.

[1418] It's hilarious.

[1419] It is.

[1420] It's like you got a trophy in one hand and a cancer diagnosis.

[1421] It was incredible.

[1422] Or like Carrie, like they dump blood on you while you're holding the time.

[1423] It's like Carrie.

[1424] When my dad had cancer and I would take him.

[1425] to chemo, I was expecting to see a bunch of 90 -year -old men with blankets wrapped around their legs.

[1426] He was the only man in there.

[1427] It's all women, and it was all young women.

[1428] And I was like, oh, my God, it was a real eye -opener for me about how many women are dealing with breast cancer.

[1429] To your point, I think you announced it on Twitter saying, one and eight women get breast cancer, and I'm the one.

[1430] Right.

[1431] It's a lot of people.

[1432] It's a lot of women, men get breast cancer.

[1433] cancer.

[1434] And cancer is a big business, man. That's the thing that I was so struck by when I walked into this building.

[1435] I was like, wow, this cancer thing, they've got a, you know, they're onto something here.

[1436] Oh yeah.

[1437] I mean, this is a booming business.

[1438] It is.

[1439] Which sounds nasty the way I'm saying it, but it really did, like, Jesus Christ, look what's going on here.

[1440] It is true.

[1441] And then there was also a very disturbing 60 Minutes segment I watched about that the oncologists get a percentage of the drugs that they sell.

[1442] Well, certain.

[1443] oncologists.

[1444] Certain oncologists.

[1445] That seems a little troubling to me. Yeah, that's a little unethical.

[1446] Yeah, I'd say more than a little.

[1447] Yeah.

[1448] Now, how old was your dad?

[1449] 62.

[1450] Oh, young.

[1451] Uh -huh.

[1452] So was this a long time ago?

[1453] 2012.

[1454] Wow.

[1455] Wow.

[1456] Wow.

[1457] Wow.

[1458] Wow.

[1459] And then my stepdad last year of prostate cancer.

[1460] Jesus Christ.

[1461] That's crazy to be with a parent dying.

[1462] And I did that with my dad.

[1463] And that was, he didn't die of cancer, but he died.

[1464] of congestive heart failure, ultimately, and everything, you know, sort of falls off from that.

[1465] But it's really wild.

[1466] Was your experience positive or negative?

[1467] Both.

[1468] Both.

[1469] I read this great book, which you might have read, called Being Mortal by Atwal Glandi.

[1470] Just yesterday, I was told to have him on.

[1471] I hope you do have him on.

[1472] Yeah.

[1473] I hope you do.

[1474] I want to meet him.

[1475] The book is fascinating.

[1476] And it was a really good guide for me because I was my dad's, health care proxy.

[1477] So there was a lot of, I was back and forth to New York a gazillion times at the end of his life.

[1478] And there's a way of talking about death and the experience of dying, and it's a book that explores those ideas.

[1479] And by the way, I'm not a self -help book kind of person at all, but this is not really that.

[1480] It's really about talking about dying and the experience of dying in a way that nobody in this culture really does.

[1481] And so that was very helpful to me. And I just remember being on the plane and making notes to myself and things that I was going to talk to my dad about.

[1482] And then I would try to and he would just kind of shut it down.

[1483] He would, yeah, yeah.

[1484] But even that experience was useful to me, for me. Yeah.

[1485] And to see, okay, so this is who he is.

[1486] This is clear.

[1487] And I'd love him regardless.

[1488] Isn't it like for me, one of those elements was, I've been trying to change him his whole life.

[1489] And then when it gets to the end, I finally realized like, oh, you didn't do it and you're never going to do it.

[1490] I finally had to give up, like, oh, no, it's not happening in your lifetime.

[1491] He's on his way out and he's still this exact person.

[1492] Right, exactly.

[1493] There's no point in pushing against that anymore.

[1494] No. That's the story.

[1495] This is now how it's going to be.

[1496] Yes.

[1497] So that's the story.

[1498] There's a lot to be said for forgiveness because it's a good relief for you.

[1499] It's for you.

[1500] So it's nice to be able to get to a place where you can say, okay, it's okay, i .e., your behavior, even though I don't agree with it, I don't subscribe to it, but that's who you are.

[1501] And I completely can get beyond that now.

[1502] Yes.

[1503] I was caught in the same trap.

[1504] Most people are with their parents, which is I never saw him as a human being.

[1505] he was my dad and he fell short of my expectations of being a dad period he was not as independent person he was only on this planet in the role of my dad and he underdelivered and there were a few moments where he was very vulnerable and very scared where I was like oh no that's a 12 year old boy who's really scared you just happen to be in his life but here's a real person who really is scared and that was bizarrely helpful for me shattering that paradigm I'm like, he's my daddy supposed to be this thing for me. I guess just my own narcissistic, self -centered view of him.

[1506] I kind of uncoupled a bit.

[1507] Yeah.

[1508] And I'm like, growing up.

[1509] Yeah, yeah.

[1510] Well, the last thing about the resentments thing is, yeah, we have a saying in a. Which is having resentments is like drinking poison, hoping your enemy dies.

[1511] That's true.

[1512] You're the only one carrying those things.

[1513] The person you're mad at isn't thinking about them when they go to sleep.

[1514] You are.

[1515] No. Brad, it takes a very special person, I think.

[1516] It's a unique man who can have a wife who is so successful and so universally loved.

[1517] I speak from experience.

[1518] Yeah, I think it does.

[1519] Yeah.

[1520] So I definitely chose the right guy.

[1521] He's a really steadfast, strong, confident, morally centered person.

[1522] Is he born that way?

[1523] Yeah.

[1524] He was?

[1525] Yeah.

[1526] He was born that way.

[1527] He was raised well.

[1528] I'm not suggesting it's always easy, but we've sort of, together, we've been bound to one another, and we just carry on.

[1529] Yeah.

[1530] And he takes pride in my success.

[1531] He does.

[1532] Oh, yeah.

[1533] Good.

[1534] Oh, yeah.

[1535] Without him in my life and my children, you can forget about it in terms of the trajectory of my life.

[1536] Forget it.

[1537] because I think ultimately this is all very important to me my career and being an actor but it hasn't been the most important to me and I think that's what's made it work and so I've had a really solid place to be without it and that has just freed me up yeah my wife will sometimes say that to me and it makes me very happy that she's like oh no I can only go be untethered and do that because I am tethered to this foundation that's here.

[1538] Totally.

[1539] Oh, yeah.

[1540] If I didn't have this when I came home, I don't know that I could feel safe to do that there.

[1541] There's no doubt about that.

[1542] Yeah.

[1543] Certainly in my life.

[1544] Now, Veep, were you ever scared about how bold it was or did you have total conviction about it?

[1545] Because I watch the show regularly going, oh my God, they can do that.

[1546] Oh, my God, they did that.

[1547] Oh, they're doing it.

[1548] It's so exciting from a. comedy writing perspective how unbelievably fearless the show is yeah there is some trepidation going in for sure and by the way you're seeing a reduced version of it i mean you know these shows are double the length and so by the time you see them there yeah so you've most certainly said in an episode something you're like oh this makes the final cut this might be a wrap on everything yeah i mean because you're going beyond the line yeah we have to right to push the envelope to find our way.

[1549] So it's been scary.

[1550] And after four years, we changed showrunners.

[1551] And that was scary.

[1552] There's been a lot of like jumping off of cliffs making this show.

[1553] But I've really enjoyed it.

[1554] Is it the thing you're most proud of workwise?

[1555] Yeah.

[1556] Yes.

[1557] It's so impressive.

[1558] It's so good.

[1559] Thank you.

[1560] I love it so much.

[1561] It really is.

[1562] And really you can't underestimate what percentage of that is you, in my opinion.

[1563] Just the, again, the fact that you, can anchor a show as the lead whose story we're following and we care about and yet be sociopathic at times or just you know the character you're playing yet by the way i think this is a gift my wife has and i always tell her when i want to flatter her the most that i think you guys having a very similar thing which even if she's the bad guy christin you're like i'm kind of rooting for i kind of like her yeah you know that's like a really unique gift to have or you know in fact it's a role generally only reserved for men where men get to be breaking bad or you know an anti -hero you're in a weird way a comedic anti -hero oh good and you're pulling it off and women are supposed to be likable and never not this and not bad I'm not a fan of likeability yeah I mean I am as a human being but as a viewer or as an actor I think likeability is highly overrated uh -huh but I really think that a fundamentally what it is is that you can identify with, in terms of the character of Selena Meyer, with her desire or motivation, you know, and identify with her frustration.

[1564] It's very valid her frustration.

[1565] She may be nuts and she is nuts.

[1566] But her frustration and what she's up against is very understandable.

[1567] Yes.

[1568] In my view.

[1569] People are pushing her back down.

[1570] And she's a woman who hasn't been given in her mind of fair shake.

[1571] Actually, she has been given a fair shake.

[1572] You know, she also has a lot of opportunity.

[1573] She's a woman of affluence, et cetera, et cetera.

[1574] However, she's still a woman.

[1575] And that sucks, too, in the world of politics.

[1576] Were you happy with the ending?

[1577] I loved the ending.

[1578] Yeah.

[1579] I thought it was so poignant, calling for Gary.

[1580] Yeah, I loved it.

[1581] I was as proud of that episode as all of them, actually.

[1582] It might be my favorite.

[1583] It really summed it all up for me perfectly.

[1584] And I think it kind of had a, in a weird way, kind of a hopeful end.

[1585] And do you take some pride in the fact that, like, it's by far the best cast ever of comedians?

[1586] I take great pride in that fact.

[1587] The bench is so absurdly deep on that show.

[1588] It's outrageous.

[1589] We have had great casting directors over the years, and luckily great actors coming in and sort of delivering and lots of actors you've never met before who just sort of killed it.

[1590] And I don't know.

[1591] We've locked out in that department.

[1592] And so there's a focus, for sure, on doing good work.

[1593] But there's a huge amount of joy that drives that focus.

[1594] Yeah.

[1595] Okay.

[1596] You've changed my life.

[1597] Rarely does a movie change your behavior going forward for the rest of your life?

[1598] And I want you to know that every time we've ever received a massage at our residence, I carry the table.

[1599] Good for you.

[1600] And I generally have to fight them to do so.

[1601] sometimes they probably walk away offended like I'm a chauvinist I don't think they can carry their table but I will say after seeing enough said I was like man I've been there I've watched someone lug a big table I thought this is preposterous I'm six three I should be carrying that table yeah and now I just do I insist and I carry that table I'm so glad you have those nice manners yes what a wonderful movie I loved that movie so much enough sad it was so great to make that movie and Gandalfini was just beautiful to be around oh yeah he really really was, but surprisingly not confident.

[1602] Really?

[1603] Yes.

[1604] That is shocking.

[1605] Yeah.

[1606] If I had confident.

[1607] It's sort of really endearing too, someone who's so fantastically good.

[1608] Well, you know how he was in the movie?

[1609] That was sort of close to who he was as a person.

[1610] Wow.

[1611] Yeah, sort of a soft guy.

[1612] A sweetheart.

[1613] A sweetheart.

[1614] Yeah.

[1615] Bless him.

[1616] Yeah.

[1617] Bless him.

[1618] With, with, you know, I think he was sort of embarrassed to be an actor.

[1619] You know, I think he.

[1620] Some men have that, I've noticed.

[1621] Presumably women have it too, but I certainly know men who feel like it's a weird, like it's not a masculine endeavor.

[1622] Exactly.

[1623] I think there was just an element of that.

[1624] Can I, can I tell you a theory I have?

[1625] What is the cumulative feedback ban about your finale?

[1626] People like it?

[1627] Yeah.

[1628] It's been very positive, which I'm really happy about.

[1629] But even if it hadn't been, I still would have wrapped my arms around it.

[1630] That's how much I liked it.

[1631] Right.

[1632] It's been very positive.

[1633] Okay, so I have a theory that I just launched a couple weeks ago because of the Game of Thrones finale.

[1634] Do you watch Game of Thrones?

[1635] I do not.

[1636] You do not.

[1637] Okay.

[1638] Well, you know, a lot of people had some negative stuff to say about the finale.

[1639] And I was thinking about it.

[1640] And now when I asked them, like, well, what did you want to happen?

[1641] Like, you didn't like what happened.

[1642] What did you want to happen?

[1643] And people were like, I don't know, I guess.

[1644] But what you would quickly come to find out is there was nothing they specifically wanted to happen.

[1645] What I think happens and people don't recognize is they're just mourning the loss of this thing.

[1646] they loved for years and it's going away it's a breakup so there's no version of a breakup that you're going to love you know very rare where you go like perfect breakup and i just think in general like it's just very sad to have loved something for eight years and to know that you'll not ever enjoy a new thing maybe so it's very hard to like the end of something you love maybe so yeah it's just position to not work but we love the end you know beep so you have maybe it wasn't that good a show Yeah, I guess that's what we figured out.

[1647] That's what it means, yeah.

[1648] That's a big takeaway, folks.

[1649] Well, Julie, I'm so flattered that you came.

[1650] Thank you.

[1651] I adore you.

[1652] Do you remember meeting me in Jackson Hole?

[1653] Of course.

[1654] You do?

[1655] Yeah, we were in that restaurant.

[1656] That cute restaurant that has really good chop sales.

[1657] I don't remember that as being one of my best interactions because, again, the stakes were so high for me because I was so excited to tell you how much I love you.

[1658] Don't worry.

[1659] You didn't do anything wrong or ill -timed.

[1660] And I just remember, because your wife, Kristen, was there.

[1661] And my boys were young.

[1662] But I just remember either Charlie or Henry knew Kristen from, I don't.

[1663] Sarah Marshall, probably, yeah.

[1664] And they were like, oh, my God, it's one of those things.

[1665] It was one of those things of them meeting somebody famous and flipping out.

[1666] Right.

[1667] That's what I remember is like, guys, cool it.

[1668] Everyone would calm down.

[1669] And that's what he was doing to you.

[1670] That's right.

[1671] It was a big circular.

[1672] Circular.

[1673] Ateration cycle.

[1674] Kind of weirdness.

[1675] Yeah.

[1676] Can we play father, stepdaughter, and stepfather?

[1677] Yes.

[1678] Okay.

[1679] Who do I call?

[1680] Stepdad slash lover.

[1681] That's right.

[1682] Yes.

[1683] But do you remember that movie that, Jeremy Irons?

[1684] He was in that movie.

[1685] And it starts with a D, but I forgot the name.

[1686] name of it and he fucks his son's wife it's extraordinary and his son do you want me to tell you this moment it's a pretty good movie I'm gonna watch my memory yeah well maybe I shouldn't tell you because this is it's an astounding moment okay when something happens you can't even believe it okay then don't tell me we're gonna watch it yeah and you'll watch vampire no I'm not watching I'm not watching the vampire ones.

[1687] You'd like it.

[1688] Roadhouse, too.

[1689] I am going to watch Roadhouse.

[1690] I'm actually really looking forward to that.

[1691] It's amazing.

[1692] Okay.

[1693] I definitely will.

[1694] All right.

[1695] I love you.

[1696] Guys, thank you.

[1697] That was super fun.

[1698] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1699] Before we commence this fact check, hold on one second.

[1700] Oh, wow.

[1701] Yeah.

[1702] Please hold.

[1703] Boom.

[1704] Boom.

[1705] Oh.

[1706] Oh, did it change my voice?

[1707] Yeah, I think it did.

[1708] Oh, wow.

[1709] I think you just changed.

[1710] No, no, I swear.

[1711] I swear I didn't do anything.

[1712] I'm going to take it off.

[1713] Okay, well, tell people what it is.

[1714] Okay.

[1715] My friend Dave Castillo invented, well, I think with he and his sister and their dad, invented this thing called intake breathing.

[1716] Okay.

[1717] And think of a breathies at night that people wear those little strips.

[1718] You know, I got nothing against breatheies.

[1719] No. But they're not.

[1720] They could sponsor us.

[1721] It's not substantial.

[1722] So what's happening here is I have two little little.

[1723] stickies on either side of my nostrils.

[1724] And inside the stickies is a little piece of magnet.

[1725] Oh.

[1726] Okay.

[1727] Or maybe it's just metal.

[1728] And then the bridge, this plastic piece I then stick over my nose.

[1729] Listen, maybe you can hear it snap.

[1730] I hope this doesn't trigger mesophonia.

[1731] Okay.

[1732] Did you kind of hear it?

[1733] It's a little lackless.

[1734] At any rate, here's what goes on.

[1735] You pop this on your nose.

[1736] It spreads your nostrils.

[1737] See how big my nostrils are right now?

[1738] Uh -huh.

[1739] They're expanded.

[1740] Yeah.

[1741] Kind of like that photograph I was telling you about when I parachuted for teen people.

[1742] and I look like Porky the Pig was a big disaster.

[1743] Well, this is doing it for me without having take on the risk of skydiving.

[1744] But what's happening, Monica, is it spreading my nostrils and then I can breathe way better through my nose.

[1745] And do you know, breathing through your nose is much healthier because your nose is making nitric oxide.

[1746] And your blood needs that to transport energy around in oxygen.

[1747] So it's great for working out.

[1748] I have an unstill because I worked out with it today.

[1749] Okay.

[1750] Okay.

[1751] You've just been keeping it on.

[1752] Well, and then I sat down and I thought, let's elevate my oxygen levels here during the fact check.

[1753] Sure.

[1754] I have a few questions.

[1755] Yeah, please, please.

[1756] One, did a bunch of boogers fall out when you first?

[1757] No, no, no, no, no, no. So that's not a hazard.

[1758] No. Well, I suppose if you have a tremendous amount of boogers, that could shake some loose when those magnets pop in.

[1759] Secondly, since they're open, do you kind of feel like you want to put your fingers up there?

[1760] Let me see.

[1761] It seems like you do not to.

[1762] Way easier to put my finger in there, as if it were hard anyways.

[1763] They're so elastic, my nostrils.

[1764] Can't speak highly enough.

[1765] You know what I did is I donated to the Kickstarter.

[1766] Wow.

[1767] Which is very rare for me. That's, I don't think you've ever done that.

[1768] Out of bounds.

[1769] No, I think I gave a couple bucks for the Ron Mars movie.

[1770] Anywho's, I went for the max, too.

[1771] I went ahead and I, wow.

[1772] I kickstarted.

[1773] Is that what you say?

[1774] Yeah.

[1775] Well, you have put your finger in your nose quite a bit since it's been on.

[1776] So I think that's something that comes with it.

[1777] Yeah, well, look, I don't think.

[1778] any among us don't clean out the nostrils.

[1779] No, sure.

[1780] You're supposed to.

[1781] Yeah.

[1782] You don't want to just let it get impacted in there and then have to have a surgical procedure.

[1783] Definitely not.

[1784] All right.

[1785] I'm going to proceed now.

[1786] And I'm going to be a lot more alert during this one.

[1787] Okay.

[1788] All right.

[1789] Not to challenge you.

[1790] So are you going to walk around like that?

[1791] Absolutely.

[1792] Okay.

[1793] Do you think it's a cool look?

[1794] I kind of think I look, you know when football players put the little bit of black under their eyes?

[1795] Yeah, I don't.

[1796] And it looks like they're going into battle.

[1797] Do you even know what that is?

[1798] Yes.

[1799] Oh.

[1800] It was years before I knew.

[1801] Isn't it for glare?

[1802] It's for glare.

[1803] Yeah, that's kind of cool.

[1804] Yeah.

[1805] Anywho's, I think if I walk around with this on my nose, people assume I'm an extreme athlete, which I would love.

[1806] Being perceived as an extreme athlete would be second only to be in Hansa for me. Also, you keep saying any who's.

[1807] Uh -huh, sure.

[1808] And that's really making me laugh.

[1809] Like the who's down in whose bills.

[1810] Yeah, because I think it's just any who.

[1811] Anywho.

[1812] Actually, it's any way.

[1813] Anywho is already one step removed.

[1814] I've jumped the proverbial shark already, so I might as well just keep...

[1815] Do you think people are still listening?

[1816] No. All right, well...

[1817] Well, Julia Louis Drivese.

[1818] What?

[1819] Julia Louis, drive us crazy with your talent.

[1820] What are your takeaway observations of that interview?

[1821] First of all, you loved it because you, like me, worship her.

[1822] Love her.

[1823] But did you have any takeaways thoughts about me during that?

[1824] God.

[1825] I just want to own some stuff.

[1826] This isn't to clap me on the shoulders.

[1827] What takeaways?

[1828] Because my own self -critique is I was very desperate for her to like me. I mean, I really, really wanted her to like me. Did I feel needy at all during that?

[1829] A little bit.

[1830] No. No. I don't think you were needy, but you were...

[1831] Too much.

[1832] No, no, no. I knew that you were trying to get her approval.

[1833] Right.

[1834] But I don't think she did necessarily.

[1835] You were flirting pretty hard.

[1836] I know.

[1837] She nailed you so quickly from the very beginning by listening to two minutes of Will Ferrell that you give out the same compliments to everybody.

[1838] No, I don't.

[1839] That you do fall in love a lot.

[1840] Yeah.

[1841] Because we started this debate a couple episodes ago, and I keep cycling back to it.

[1842] I think there's like, have you thought about it since?

[1843] Wait, what debate?

[1844] Well, we talked about falling in love.

[1845] And I ranked myself on the scale.

[1846] between love addict and zero.

[1847] Mm -hmm.

[1848] And I keep kind of cycling through that debate.

[1849] I think that's like a juicy realm.

[1850] Yeah.

[1851] I think there's some juice there.

[1852] There is.

[1853] You know what?

[1854] As I've been moving through life, I'll recognize when people have that appetite or whatever it is.

[1855] Mm -hmm.

[1856] I've been aware of it since we had that debate.

[1857] Mostly self -reflection going, oh, what I felt like you were accusing me of or insinuating was that I just love everyone.

[1858] Which I don't think is true.

[1859] Uh -huh.

[1860] In fact...

[1861] You were saying that.

[1862] You said you could fall in love with anybody.

[1863] You said that out of your life.

[1864] Yes.

[1865] Not to say that I have, though.

[1866] Sure.

[1867] I guess what I thought maybe was the implication was that it wasn't sincere.

[1868] And then I was like, no, you know what?

[1869] I am very enthusiastic about a lot of people.

[1870] I really enjoy, like, Rob Mechleheny.

[1871] Yeah.

[1872] I really enjoy Ryan Hanson.

[1873] I enjoy Aaron Weekly.

[1874] There's a lot of people I really am wild about.

[1875] And then I'm like, Am I a phony?

[1876] Hmm.

[1877] But I'm not, I have true feelings.

[1878] Yeah.

[1879] Like overwhelming feelings.

[1880] I don't think you're a phony.

[1881] And I hope that's not how you took it.

[1882] I guess it is.

[1883] I'm sorry if you took it that way.

[1884] No, it's my fault how I take things.

[1885] You can tell me what you meant.

[1886] No. Oh, here we go again with this old.

[1887] But I think when you say things like my favorite person on the planet and then you've said that about like 40 people.

[1888] Uh -huh.

[1889] It doesn't feel phony.

[1890] but it feels like, oh, that phrase to you just doesn't mean what it means to me. I say that about one person, if I'm saying, my favorite person on the planet.

[1891] Well, just by the structure of the sentence, yes, it implies one person.

[1892] But you and I agree on the notion that Mindy Kaling suggested, which is it's a tier.

[1893] Best friend is a tear.

[1894] Is a tier.

[1895] Uh -huh, which I love that.

[1896] And for me, favorite person in the world is a tear.

[1897] Okay.

[1898] Okay.

[1899] Okay.

[1900] I feel like I always say one of the things.

[1901] I don't.

[1902] No. Okay.

[1903] All right.

[1904] And it's fine.

[1905] You're also doing it for effect.

[1906] And so I get that.

[1907] As someone who you might say that about it.

[1908] You're definitely my favorite person in the world.

[1909] Yes.

[1910] So.

[1911] So it feels less special.

[1912] And it feels like, oh, that doesn't really mean anything to him.

[1913] Well, but hold on.

[1914] Can I make a defense for myself?

[1915] Of course.

[1916] I believe that a phony would be someone who's like, Oh, Rob McElheny's my favorite person in the world.

[1917] And then I go around saying that.

[1918] I tell him that when I see him.

[1919] But then when he texts me, I take two days later I respond to him.

[1920] Or if he asked me for a favor, I ignore it.

[1921] I do feel proud of the fact that anyone I feel that way about, I am there.

[1922] I'm so available for everyone I love.

[1923] Of course.

[1924] It's not like I'm just saying it.

[1925] And then my actions don't match that.

[1926] They do.

[1927] You're not a phony.

[1928] No one is saying that.

[1929] Okay.

[1930] I know that all those people you're saying that about you love intensive.

[1931] It's just a matter of, it's literally just a, a language, a syntax thing.

[1932] And it's just, who cares?

[1933] It's just everyone's different.

[1934] I just, I don't use phrasing like, I'm very exclusive limited edition about using that kind of superlatives.

[1935] Right, right.

[1936] You're stingy with your superlatives.

[1937] I am very, very, very.

[1938] But what's funny is like, I think you really like that about you as you should.

[1939] Like, what about me?

[1940] That you love so many people and that you feel that way about a lot of people.

[1941] I think you like that about yourself, which you should.

[1942] Can I just tell you one thing?

[1943] For me, it's a singular reason to be alive.

[1944] Yeah.

[1945] Like the only thing that's giving me joy, now that I don't do drugs or drink, is interacting with the people I love.

[1946] Well, I have that too.

[1947] Right.

[1948] And I get a ton of joy from the people around me. But I don't think every one of those people is my favorite person on the earth.

[1949] I still love them and I love spending time with them.

[1950] But do you think it's a part of our Americanism that there's like everything we're obsessed with rank and the bass?

[1951] It's like I think the thing to strive for would just be a universal kind of unbridled joy and love for one another.

[1952] Yes, but again, it's not like I'm like, that person is not my favorite person on the planet.

[1953] So I'm not going to hang out with them.

[1954] I'm not going to have fun with them.

[1955] I'm not going to love them.

[1956] Like, it's a different thing.

[1957] Anyway, my point was you like that about you and that's great.

[1958] I like the thing about me. Your exclusivity.

[1959] I do.

[1960] I like that I, people are reserved in different areas of sort of specialness.

[1961] It's all good.

[1962] It's all valid.

[1963] It's just there's a difference in the way I view people.

[1964] I can give you an example that I think maybe you'll agree with.

[1965] Okay.

[1966] Which is both of my kids I love the most.

[1967] Yeah.

[1968] I think children are an exception to this.

[1969] But I'd argue they shouldn't be.

[1970] Well, no. That's a different love.

[1971] That's a different thing happening.

[1972] I don't know.

[1973] I do.

[1974] I think there's no relationship like one.

[1975] with your children.

[1976] They're people you made.

[1977] Yeah.

[1978] Yeah.

[1979] Yeah.

[1980] Yeah.

[1981] Yeah.

[1982] There's, yeah.

[1983] There's areas of the relationship that are very unique to the relationship.

[1984] Yeah.

[1985] But there's the cellular feeling that I think is quite comparable to how I feel about some other people.

[1986] Yeah.

[1987] A handful of other people.

[1988] I just feel two hands full of other people.

[1989] Forty -five other people.

[1990] Well, my mom, I just, I got, I get like, filled with you know yeah and their weekly and then Nate was over the other day and we were both talking Nate and I was like oh that's right I just like am so lit up if Nate's around and talking yeah yeah anywho back to Julie uh so you said let the right one in is Scandinavian I thought it was Danish but yeah and it's Swedish mm -hmm 2008 Swedish Denmark's Scandinavian now?

[1991] Is it Finland, Sweden?

[1992] I think so.

[1993] Okay.

[1994] Norway and Denmark?

[1995] Something like that probably.

[1996] That feels right to me. Feels good.

[1997] Yeah.

[1998] Okay, so you've said this before.

[1999] I've corrected it and you said it again.

[2000] Uh -oh.

[2001] Double whammy?

[2002] Your Wikipedia page says Daxymus.

[2003] Oh, someone must have removed it.

[2004] It did.

[2005] Yeah, we talked about this before.

[2006] It definitely did, probably.

[2007] I believe you about that for sure.

[2008] Okay.

[2009] But it no longer says that.

[2010] Remember, because I said to yours is really long?

[2011] Too long, yeah.

[2012] Well, it's just like, it's very detailed and long.

[2013] Uh -huh.

[2014] But they have the correct origin that you're correct full name.

[2015] Oh, good.

[2016] Yeah.

[2017] That's Randall Shepard.

[2018] Yeah.

[2019] Who owns Wikipedia?

[2020] Ooh, this is a good mystery to be solved.

[2021] Right.

[2022] Wikipedia co -founder Jimmy Wales has described Wikipedia as an effort to create and distribute a multilingual, free encyclopedia of the highest quality to every single person on the planet in his or her own language.

[2023] Who owns a website?

[2024] Wikipedia's tech framework is supported by a nonprofit parent organization, the Wikimedia Foundation Incorporated, which also supports Wikipedia's sister projects, including wickshenary, wiki books, and others, and owns all of their domain names.

[2025] Previously, the site was hosted on the servers of Bournes, Inc., a company mostly owned by Jimmy Wales, the creator, with the announcement of the Wikimedia Foundation on June 20, 2003.

[2026] the ownership of all domain names was transferred to the foundation.

[2027] The site is run by the community of Wikipedians guided by the principles articulated by Jimmy Wales, including, for example, an adherence to a neutral point of view.

[2028] So Jimmy Wales created it, and now it belongs to Wikimedia Foundation.

[2029] Okay.

[2030] I think Wiki should get in, because you know I feel very bad for the Tiki Torch people, because those white nationalists, they chose that product, and now there's a bad connotation with those Tiki Torches.

[2031] So maybe the Wiki torches, they could, like, come in and rebrand it.

[2032] Hmm.

[2033] Okay.

[2034] What is that?

[2035] The door's open.

[2036] Yeah, but is there a monster truck pole happening in the yard?

[2037] Yeah.

[2038] In the pool.

[2039] Oh.

[2040] Oh, exciting.

[2041] The future side of the pool?

[2042] Cool.

[2043] Cool.

[2044] This just reminded me because of the pool.

[2045] This isn't actually on my list, but we talked in this episode about keeping your kids humble.

[2046] Mm -hmm.

[2047] We didn't really talk about, which I think is an important layer to this, is in theory, kids should never fly first class.

[2048] Mm -hmm.

[2049] You know?

[2050] Uh -huh.

[2051] But it's way too convenient and it's too much better for the adult to fly first class.

[2052] I think the thing that people don't consider is like the parent then has to suffer sometimes to make that decision.

[2053] Mm -hmm.

[2054] Like, they have to say, I guess we'll fly coach because I can fly first class, but these kids probably shouldn't fly first class.

[2055] Yeah.

[2056] And no one is making that decision.

[2057] Like, that is a very hard thing to sacrifice.

[2058] My point is that it's impossible to ask people to do that.

[2059] Anyone would make that decision.

[2060] Yeah.

[2061] No one likes flying.

[2062] It's uncomfortable.

[2063] Yes.

[2064] The whole thing's inconvenient.

[2065] Parking at the airport, going through security.

[2066] the lineup at the gate, all of it blows.

[2067] Yeah.

[2068] It is definitely better in first class.

[2069] It's less inconvenient.

[2070] And so for me, because I'm frugal, I just started flying first class when I was buying the tickets, maybe three years ago.

[2071] Yeah.

[2072] It was very hard for me to do that.

[2073] But I travel so much that I'm like, you know what?

[2074] Why have money if not for making something I have to do all the time less of a beating?

[2075] Right.

[2076] Yeah.

[2077] But that's my point, is that's what happens when you have those means.

[2078] Yeah.

[2079] And to then say, but I could, and my life would be so much easier, and I'd feel way happier flying first class, but I won't.

[2080] People don't do that.

[2081] And that's also okay, although it does get tricky because how do you then?

[2082] Sure, because then you can make the same argument about flying private.

[2083] And then all of a sudden your kids are flying around private, yeah.

[2084] Yeah, then that's what they're used to in the world.

[2085] That's their experience on Earth.

[2086] Yeah.

[2087] There's, it's just an element of the conversation that sometimes doesn't get said is when you're talking to, like, because you mentioned you have a friend who has like a huge, huge house and talks about keeping our kids normal.

[2088] And you're like, you know, your actions don't really reflect.

[2089] Yeah.

[2090] And I think you got to cut that person a little bit of slack because for them having that house is convenient.

[2091] It's flying first class.

[2092] Having a room for this is so much.

[2093] Well, you and I have argued about this in the past.

[2094] I actually don't think you can make an argument that a house above 6 ,000 square foot is convenient.

[2095] You've run out of things to put in the rooms.

[2096] There's just a bunch of empty.

[2097] We don't know.

[2098] We don't know.

[2099] We don't know.

[2100] We don't know the details.

[2101] But could we agree that some people build really ostentatious houses for their ego and the presentation of it?

[2102] Of course.

[2103] Yeah.

[2104] So I'm just saying if you're displaying that your self -esteem is rooted in your display of wealth, that's a tricky thing to pass onto your kids.

[2105] Definitely.

[2106] I can say with total conviction, my self -esteem is not linked to that.

[2107] I know that.

[2108] So I'm not too worried about passing that part on.

[2109] Yeah, it just gets so hard because - There's all a bunch of traps along the way.

[2110] Yeah.

[2111] And it is really important, I think, to grow up walking through first class and thinking like, who gets to sit here?

[2112] Sure.

[2113] Yeah.

[2114] How do you get to do that?

[2115] Well, on this topic, you know, I went, yesterday I had, like four hours of free time.

[2116] So I took my roadmaster out and I drove around downtown L .A. And then I sat in MacArthur Park and played with my new iPad and played Catan.

[2117] Oh.

[2118] And I actually had this thought.

[2119] My mom used to drive us down Woodward around Long Lake to show us mansions when we were kids.

[2120] And she'd pull up to houses and be like, this is where the doctors live.

[2121] This is where the lawyers live, right?

[2122] Oh, wow.

[2123] And I was weirdly thinking, I've got to do the reverse of that.

[2124] I've got to start taking Lincoln on these drives with me and go, hey, check out how the rest of the world's living.

[2125] You know, people don't have their own anything.

[2126] Yeah.

[2127] The vast majority of people.

[2128] And I was like, oh, that's weird.

[2129] I'm going to have to do the opposite of what my mom did.

[2130] I don't know.

[2131] It's all tricky because then you're like, well, am I just making the kid feel guilty that they were born in this house?

[2132] No. Am I asking her to carry around guilt?

[2133] No, I don't think it's carrying around guilt.

[2134] It's opening up the reality of the world to her because her world is small.

[2135] Mm -hmm.

[2136] Oh, rich people problems.

[2137] Hashtag rich people problems.

[2138] Oh, boy.

[2139] Okay.

[2140] Okay.

[2141] When did the birth control pill come to pass?

[2142] So she said in the 60s and you said it was newer than that.

[2143] And I said that I was going to fact check it.

[2144] The sexual revolution and the pill in the early 1950s, philanthropist Catherine McCormick had provided funding for biologist Gregory Pinkis to develop the birth control pill, which was approved by the FDA in 1960.

[2145] Oh, wow.

[2146] On the dock.

[2147] Yeah.

[2148] Oh, wow.

[2149] Okay.

[2150] So you tried to say, you tried to say the adjective of anarchy.

[2151] And none of us could say it.

[2152] We all tried.

[2153] Yeah, because it's not anachronistic.

[2154] Right.

[2155] That's a different word entirely.

[2156] That word is about like time.

[2157] Right, right, right.

[2158] Belonging to a period other than that being portrayed.

[2159] Hmm.

[2160] So like if you saw a cell phone and a Western, that'd be anachronistic?

[2161] Yeah, I guess.

[2162] What?

[2163] There was a word Tuesday night at my A meeting from the book.

[2164] Someone reads before we start.

[2165] Uh -huh.

[2166] And it was conviviality.

[2167] Oh.

[2168] Oh, I feel like I've looked up that word before.

[2169] Everyone was just blasting through their shares as if everyone knew a conviviality wasn't.

[2170] Then one guy goes, look, guys, I am not smart enough to know what conviviality.

[2171] And then about 10 other people are like, yeah, I don't know what the fuck that word means either.

[2172] It's just kind of joyous and boisterous and gregarious, basically, at a party.

[2173] Yeah.

[2174] You know how we can remember that?

[2175] Because it kind of sounds like lively.

[2176] Convili.

[2177] viviality.

[2178] In my head.

[2179] The viviality part sounds like live.

[2180] Right.

[2181] I think the root of it vital from Latin is life.

[2182] You know, I think I'm particularly good at this because of being dyslexic, where I so regularly did not know what the word was.

[2183] I couldn't sound it out or whatever.

[2184] And I had to use the words around it to kind of.

[2185] Context clues.

[2186] Yes.

[2187] And I feel like I'm kind of good at that.

[2188] You know, the Scientology tradition is you look up every word, you clear it, which is kind of a cool practice.

[2189] Yeah.

[2190] But I got to say, I feel like I can figure out about 70 % of words.

[2191] I don't know just by the sentence.

[2192] Yeah.

[2193] You know.

[2194] I think I have that too.

[2195] Maybe not as much as you, because I wasn't dyslexic.

[2196] But yeah.

[2197] Anyway, no, I think anachronistic, you're driving down a house of like modern homes.

[2198] And then maybe there's like an old -timey Victorian home that would be anachronistic.

[2199] Oh, I hope so.

[2200] So it also makes me think of spiders.

[2201] Arachnophobia.

[2202] Arachnophobia.

[2203] Yeah.

[2204] Acronophobia.

[2205] There's also acrophobia.

[2206] Acrophobia is of heights.

[2207] Uh -huh.

[2208] And then agrophobia, wide open places.

[2209] Yeah.

[2210] Okay.

[2211] The actual way to pronounce it is anarchic.

[2212] Ooh, anarchic?

[2213] Yeah.

[2214] I've never used that word.

[2215] Me either.

[2216] It's a new word.

[2217] Okay.

[2218] So remember she told the story about Lena thanking Julia and Tina?

[2219] I mean, I laugh so hard at that.

[2220] But also, I feel that way, too.

[2221] Of course.

[2222] It's not an age thing.

[2223] Because when I was looking up this, which it was the Golden Globes 2013, that's what I was looking up what the actual ceremony was.

[2224] And when I Googled it, there were like articles about age bashing.

[2225] Oh, come on.

[2226] That's not age bashing.

[2227] No. Both things are true.

[2228] I definitely see Lena being very deferential.

[2229] Yeah.

[2230] And I also see Julia going, come on, man. You don't have to say you were a child when you.

[2231] When I was working.

[2232] I don't know that she's, she said I'm a child.

[2233] She probably just said, like, I grew up.

[2234] She probably said, I grew up watching these people.

[2235] She said I was delivered in a room where Seinfeld was being played in the television.

[2236] No, but if I was in a category with all the friends and I won, knock on what, I hope that happened.

[2237] Uh -huh.

[2238] Of course, how could I not say this is so exciting to be put in a category with these people I've revered my whole life?

[2239] Right.

[2240] But then they get upset.

[2241] about that.

[2242] Well, it's, look, and it's, it's happening to me more and more.

[2243] Yeah.

[2244] And it's no one's fault.

[2245] It's just, it is a reminder of like, oh, geez, yeah.

[2246] So yeah, I'm getting, I'm getting up there.

[2247] Oh, movie star problems.

[2248] Hashtag movie star problems.

[2249] I'm not just out of these stupid problems.

[2250] You said you thought you heard on Stern that Seinfeld wish he'd been able to enjoy the process.

[2251] I listened to some of his most recent Stern.

[2252] I couldn't find it and I couldn't find anything about that.

[2253] And I also feel like maybe I heard that too.

[2254] So I want to I wonder if it was on comedians and cars getting coffee.

[2255] It might have also been there, but it was definitely on Stern.

[2256] Are you sure?

[2257] Yes, I'm sure.

[2258] Well, how are you sure?

[2259] Oh, this is like earlier when you told me you were infallible at driving.

[2260] Driving, yeah.

[2261] It's the only thing.

[2262] It's the only thing I'm great at.

[2263] No, that's two separate things.

[2264] You are great.

[2265] You're...

[2266] Perfect.

[2267] No. Nobody is perfect at anything.

[2268] That is my point.

[2269] This is close to the flying the airplane debate.

[2270] Well, don't you see the connect?

[2271] tissue, the common denominator, is I'm very arrogant with my ability to operate machinery.

[2272] Yeah.

[2273] I mean, I just think you could put anything in front of me that moves, and I could figure that thing out in under a half hour and then drive it pretty proficiently within an hour.

[2274] Like, do you remember, I'm going to left an excavator here in the yard, and they left the keys in it.

[2275] So I started up and started excavating the yard, and I was doing a darn good job.

[2276] Operating all the different accoutrement on it.

[2277] I think you could do that.

[2278] I don't have any problem with that sentence.

[2279] You just want to describe that as perfect.

[2280] Exactly.

[2281] Okay.

[2282] I think I did a perfect job learning to do it by myself.

[2283] Oh, my God.

[2284] One of my character defects is arrogance, but the peak of the arrogance is with this on this topic.

[2285] I really think I'm a top going.

[2286] I just can, I truly not relate to feeling like I'm perfect at anything.

[2287] Yeah, me either.

[2288] Other than that, that's my one thing.

[2289] You know, I always have these fantasies of a post -apocalyptic life and how I'll be the only one alive.

[2290] And I'm like, how many years before I convince myself I can fly a jet?

[2291] Because I certainly would.

[2292] I would drive it up and down the runway a few times and be like, I think I got this.

[2293] And I would probably die.

[2294] Yeah, you would die.

[2295] I probably would.

[2296] I know I can fly a helicopter.

[2297] I told you, because when I was flying to work without a paddle, I watched the guy fly it every day.

[2298] And I was like, I got it.

[2299] I watched.

[2300] Again.

[2301] You could, oh my God.

[2302] Absolutely could fly a helicopter.

[2303] You watch someone do something and then you're like, yeah, I can definitely do that.

[2304] I feel really confident about that.

[2305] It's so strange.

[2306] Is it though nice to see me feel so confident about something?

[2307] I want you to be confident.

[2308] You don't, there's a layer there.

[2309] You are the most competent in that realm than I've ever seen or met.

[2310] Thank you.

[2311] But I would not say that you're perfect and you're not infallible.

[2312] We'd have to be specific about what we're labeling a failure.

[2313] I think hitting someone would be a failure.

[2314] Crashing's a failure.

[2315] If I don't ever do that, then haven't I reached perfection?

[2316] Yeah.

[2317] Or haven't I been infallible?

[2318] Yes.

[2319] But we're not there?

[2320] You don't know.

[2321] I hope on my deathbed you'll give that to me. As I'm dying, I want you to look into my face and go, by God, you were right.

[2322] You were infallible.

[2323] And then I will drift off into the next dimension with such a smile on my face.

[2324] Like the kids will be going, you are such a great doubt.

[2325] Whatever.

[2326] Whatever.

[2327] Monica, I think Monica has something to say here that sounds like I might have my interest.

[2328] So the Malcolm Gladwell number for happiness is 75 ,000.

[2329] Okay, but that was a long time ago.

[2330] Psychologists from Purdue University and the University of Virginia analyzed a Gallup poll from 1 .7 million people in 164 countries and cross -referenced their earnings and life satisfaction.

[2331] Although the cost and standard of living varies across these countries, research.

[2332] came up with a bold conclusion.

[2333] The ideal income for individuals is $95 ,000 a year for life satisfaction and $60 ,000 to $75 ,000 a year for emotional well -being.

[2334] Families with children, of course, will need more.

[2335] They are pricey.

[2336] The study published in the journal Nature Human Behavior found that once the threshold was reached, further increases in income were actually associated with reduced happiness.

[2337] Reduced happiness.

[2338] Yeah, it's a miracle you're I'm not.

[2339] Oh, you're not.

[2340] It's taken a toll.

[2341] Yeah.

[2342] Would you say you were happier when you made less money?

[2343] You know, if I'm being really honest.

[2344] Yeah, be honest.

[2345] I kind of think so.

[2346] I think so.

[2347] I mean, I don't think it has anything to do with the money.

[2348] I like having things I can't have.

[2349] I mean, I sort of have like a hard to get complex in life in general.

[2350] It's part of your identity.

[2351] Well, I guess limited edition.

[2352] Uh -huh.

[2353] Yeah.

[2354] That's sort of that wrapped up in a bow a little bit.

[2355] But it is, it's a very weird transition from like, oh my God, I really want that car, really want that car.

[2356] If I could afford that car for me. You know, the whole time I was broke.

[2357] If I could afford that car.

[2358] Yes.

[2359] To then go like, I could buy that car.

[2360] Should I?

[2361] Is that responsible?

[2362] Like, it shifts from fantasy, which is fun.

[2363] Yeah.

[2364] You can be indulgent in.

[2365] And then real life going like, is that practical?

[2366] Yeah.

[2367] Start making real decisions.

[2368] I really want a house.

[2369] Right.

[2370] And it seemed very.

[2371] really impossible for a long time.

[2372] Of course in Los Angeles.

[2373] Like this is just not an option.

[2374] It is.

[2375] I would want it so bad.

[2376] And now it's becoming a little bit more of an option.

[2377] Yeah.

[2378] And it comes with stress, right?

[2379] Yeah.

[2380] So then I, there was one I saw a couple weeks ago that is incredibly gorgeous and cute and lovely.

[2381] So I've been thinking about that lately.

[2382] And I was like, what should I do?

[2383] Should I get that house?

[2384] But then all these like practicalities start coming in.

[2385] Oh, and then our friend Eric was over.

[2386] Uh -huh.

[2387] He looked at two pictures and he said, buy it.

[2388] Okay, sure.

[2389] That doesn't surprise me at all.

[2390] He said buy it immediately.

[2391] Uh -huh.

[2392] And then that night I was thinking about it and I was like, I think I might be lonely there.

[2393] And that was really sad.

[2394] This thing I've been wanting, I'm just a small person in this house.

[2395] A miniature mouse in a maximum house.

[2396] I think I might.

[2397] might feel lonely.

[2398] Anyway, so, yeah, the reality kind of overshadowed is the fantasy, and then it's like, ugh.

[2399] Yeah, rich people.

[2400] God.

[2401] Anyway.

[2402] All right.

[2403] I love you.

[2404] Yeah, bye.

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