148 - Live at the Community Center Theater in Sacramento

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVey, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] Hey, you guys, at the end of this show, we've got an exciting announcement to tell you about, so please stay tuned and listen to it.

[17] It's for you.

[18] Goodbye.

[19] Hello.

[20] Oh, hi, everyone.

[21] Happy Thanksgiving.

[22] Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

[23] It's a special Thanksgiving episode that we're posting for you today.

[24] That's right.

[25] We're about to put another live show up, the Sacramento show, with a very special Thanksgiving guest.

[26] But it's Pall -Holes.

[27] Everyone knows it's Pall -Holes.

[28] That secret broke so long ago.

[29] Okay.

[30] Well, it's Pall -Holes.

[31] But we just wanted to say hi real quick.

[32] And happy Thanksgiving to everyone on their way to hang out with their fans.

[33] families and fight.

[34] Well, if it's Thursday, they're probably there.

[35] Oh, right.

[36] Right?

[37] There, many of you are probably trying to get away from your family in another room with your earbuds in.

[38] Realizing you didn't bring in your, your Xanax prescription, you forgot it somehow.

[39] Or you fucked up the sweet potatoes or staring at you out of the corner of their eye.

[40] Yeah.

[41] Or you're vegan and you're just like, I don't know.

[42] How do I have to explain another year that you know, I don't eat turkey?

[43] Yeah.

[44] But do you eat shrimp?

[45] No, I don't eat nothing.

[46] of it.

[47] No, I'm different than you.

[48] And then everyone making fun of your turduck, or what is it called, the vegan?

[49] Tofurky.

[50] Oh, Tofurkey.

[51] Yeah, I mean, definitely drink today if you're allowed to and that's something you can handle doing.

[52] Definitely eat today.

[53] Treat yourself well.

[54] Take things lightly.

[55] Don't take things personally.

[56] Remember everyone is a flawed human being.

[57] That's right.

[58] Especially your parents.

[59] Especially members of your direct family who hurt your feelings for no reason for decades and also please remember that if that's not actually the situation you're in and you're with a group of people that you like to talk to yeah get those stories for us yes we want to know family secrets we want to know murders that your mom has murderers that your mom has dated right we want to know near misses and strange happenings your sister -in -law who you like don't have much in common with ask her if she knows any murderers.

[60] Ask her what the weirdest thing that's ever happened to her in college was and she'll be able to tell you five interesting stories.

[61] Say, hey, do you have any weird uncles that are incarcerated?

[62] That's right.

[63] That's the first thing you should.

[64] Anyone that you haven't talked to before at your Thanksgiving dinner demand to know if they've been in jail or they know anybody in jail.

[65] That's right.

[66] And just kick it off from there.

[67] There you go.

[68] Do that after I'd say the fifth beer.

[69] Just so everyone gets a little loosey, goosey.

[70] That's right.

[71] You know, or just enjoy yourself in another way.

[72] Sure.

[73] We're just giving you the guidelines of what we think you should do.

[74] What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

[75] I am going to be with my family.

[76] We now have the best Thanksgiving.

[77] That's basically like a family friend's giving.

[78] Oh, nice.

[79] So we don't.

[80] Normally we go to my Aunt Joes, but she lives in South San Francisco.

[81] So it's just a pain to travel on that day.

[82] And so we've been staying in Petaluma and partying with the Coliseum family.

[83] That sounds so nice.

[84] It's really nice.

[85] I don't know how, I don't know what my sister is.

[86] was thinking, but she did this, like, we've been parents, kids of divorced parents for our whole lives, basically.

[87] And she should know that you don't, we have two Thanksgiving.

[88] That's like what you do.

[89] Right.

[90] Somehow she was like, I don't want to fucking deal with this.

[91] You guys have to hang out together on Thanksgiving.

[92] So we're going to like an old school steakhouse.

[93] Oh.

[94] And my mom will be there and my mom's wonderful boyfriend, John.

[95] And then my dad will be there too.

[96] So I'm going to be drinking plenty it now can marty and janet sit at a table together they can be very civil they'll be very civil and get along okay my mom did say i just don't want john to become friends with your dad which i totally get i get that you know your ex becomes friends like with your new boyfriend or whatever and suddenly they start swapping stories about what a pain in the ass you are exactly yeah no she's right she's totally right keep them far away from each other so i'm just gonna be i'm gonna be living through that on Thursday.

[97] Now, are you going to get steak or are you going to get turkey?

[98] I think I'm going to get turkey.

[99] Yeah.

[100] It's such a good...

[101] I think Thanksgiving might be one of my favorite holidays just because that meal is so, like, So good.

[102] And then for days you get to eat it.

[103] Yeah.

[104] It's fun.

[105] That's what's not fun about going out to eat because you don't have leftovers.

[106] You should order two entrees and then say, I'm back in that eating disorder again, and then just take it home for sandwiches and stuff.

[107] I would rather lie that I have my, I'm still with my eating disorder than just say I want to take it home for later.

[108] That's what you suggest.

[109] My suggestion is at any time that you can tell people lies, just always be throwing people off your sense.

[110] They don't need to know what your true business is.

[111] Keep guessing.

[112] And keep them M .I .O .B. And then it makes, what's that?

[113] Minding their own business, but with a you.

[114] And then keep them, make yourself always seem more interesting than you are.

[115] Yes.

[116] I'm so boring.

[117] That's right.

[118] Without what without all my eating disorders.

[119] And your secrets and your turkey secrets.

[120] Right.

[121] Keep some turkey secrets this holiday season for yourself.

[122] You're worth it.

[123] You deserve as much turkey as you want.

[124] Mm -hmm.

[125] And don't forget to buy yourself a little can of the cranberry jelly.

[126] Oh, yeah.

[127] Not cocktail, not the one with the weird shells of cranberries.

[128] No, no, no. The plain old jelly.

[129] In the can that has the can rings.

[130] and everything.

[131] So you know exactly how much to slice off?

[132] 100%.

[133] Now I can't wait for Thanksgiving.

[134] I'm so excited.

[135] Well, guess what?

[136] What's Thanksgiving today.

[137] Woo!

[138] So enjoy the live episode, everyone.

[139] And we'll be back next week with normal episodes.

[140] Like, normal fucking people.

[141] And, like, that are normal people.

[142] Don't order two entrees.

[143] And lie about her eating disorder.

[144] And don't tell you to order two of entrees.

[145] Right.

[146] It's really normal.

[147] We're so normal, you guys.

[148] normalist.

[149] Um, okay, stay sexy.

[150] And don't get murdered.

[151] Bye.

[152] Goodbye.

[153] Elvis?

[154] You want Thanksgiving?

[155] No, you want a cookie?

[156] Ah!

[157] There it is.

[158] What's up, Sacramento?

[159] Mike's not working.

[160] Hi.

[161] Yeah, there.

[162] Talk loud into it.

[163] Okay, hi.

[164] Don't make the microphone do all the work.

[165] You have to really project from your yes.

[166] Oh my God.

[167] Hi guys.

[168] You guys.

[169] Let me see that.

[170] Thank you.

[171] Wee.

[172] Woo!

[173] Yes.

[174] Excellent.

[175] Excellent.

[176] It's just my style, too, because it's just like a piece of paper and a Sharpie, and she's like, this afternoon.

[177] Thank you.

[178] I love it.

[179] She sat down in her chair tonight, and she was like, does anybody have any neon yellow poster board?

[180] And who has a Sharpie?

[181] That's just my style.

[182] That was really a lovely welcome where it was very beautiful to hear you scream that loud at me. And I know that 70 % of it is rage.

[183] I know that.

[184] And I like it.

[185] You've fallen into my trap.

[186] That's what I want.

[187] Well, half the people here tonight are Kilgaris.

[188] That's right.

[189] That's right.

[190] Either Kilgarovs or the 18th Street Hellcats.

[191] That's my other.

[192] That's my posse Are you in a gang?

[193] Yeah, we were a gang in 1991.

[194] We were what they call a beer gang where our weapon was alcoholism against ourselves.

[195] And we lost the gang war.

[196] We lost it all.

[197] We're in a great time doing it.

[198] We're excited.

[199] You guys sent us so many postcards to my PO box.

[200] Wow.

[201] Sacramento Mortarinos.

[202] The post guy.

[203] Thank you.

[204] My post office guy hates my guts now.

[205] So much.

[206] Worth it.

[207] He's kind of a dick.

[208] It's Georgia's personal PO box.

[209] That's right.

[210] So it's where she's getting like, you know, she'll be like, oh, look what I ordered from Sephora or whatever.

[211] And then it's like 50 ,000 postcards of like, get up here now, bitches.

[212] We're like, okay.

[213] I mean, do you insist?

[214] And we did.

[215] Wasn't like that before, but okay.

[216] You have something you want to show me, and I'm excited about it.

[217] Don't fucking tee up my thing.

[218] I brought a picture just so people would understand, because I think there's a lot of people trying to fucking talk to me on Twitter about how I need to apologize, I need to do this and that.

[219] No, it's not happening.

[220] You can fucking, you can let that dream die tonight.

[221] Look at her.

[222] Look what this city did to her.

[223] Look at the pain in her eyes.

[224] Look at the pain behind the blue eyeliner around her eyes.

[225] Did you run out of eyeliner, this whole city, and that's why you hate it, because you used it all up?

[226] My neck is three shades darker than my face.

[227] this is so this is my friend one of my closest friends we went to high school together and then she said to me at the end of senior year she goes I want to go to Sack State will you just come with me and live in the dorms with me and I was like okay that's Patty Riley give it up for Patty Riley now the problem was I didn't get my paperwork done in time because back in the 80s you had to parent yourself so I didn't have I didn't have a couple helicopter parents being like, oh, we did your paperwork for you.

[228] You're going to have a great time in college.

[229] Literally, my mother, like, threw it all down and was like, we're going on a cruise.

[230] See you later.

[231] So I didn't turn it in.

[232] So I had to live with my sister and my cousin Nancy for the first month of college.

[233] And they'd come in, they were there.

[234] They'd gone to junior college first, and then they came.

[235] So they were like 20.

[236] They were over it.

[237] They didn't give a shit.

[238] They wanted to live in an apartment.

[239] They wanted to be an adult, and they did not want me on their couch.

[240] Their pull -out couch every morning.

[241] But I was like, do I have to make the couch?

[242] Or can I just go to school?

[243] My sister's like, you better make that couch right now.

[244] So then we finally got into the dorms, and that's my roommate, Shelly Wilson, who, who, sure, give it up.

[245] Shelly Wilson of Modesto, California.

[246] She's, yeah.

[247] She is, Reba McIntyre's number one fan.

[248] Oh my God, yeah.

[249] I'm not fucking kidding.

[250] Oh.

[251] But if you take a look up to the left, you'll see that I was not Reba McIntyre's number one fan.

[252] Oh.

[253] I enjoyed Echo.

[254] I enjoyed the Bunny Men.

[255] There's never been a more 80s, early 90s photo ever taken.

[256] Shelley's hair is taller than all of us, and she was not that tall.

[257] Yeah.

[258] Her sweater is just like, what's up?

[259] I'm 80s.

[260] love it are those who like shapes shapes everywhere it's crazy fashion is shapes and shapes are fashion it's cookie it's fun drink some vodka but then of course just to kind of round out because one side was Reba and one side was Echo and the Bunny Men so to kind of bring to join those that sounded like throat cancer to kind of build a bridge between those two we just line the walls with Coors light bottles?

[261] Oh my God, I don't know.

[262] I don't remember.

[263] Finish another one and then just put it out.

[264] Clink.

[265] Going to class?

[266] Probably not.

[267] And your face, I've never seen such anger.

[268] Yeah.

[269] It looks like my cat Mimi's face.

[270] Just this, why would you take a photo of me?

[271] Just like, what are you doing?

[272] finish it do it and be done with it I love it little did she know what the fucking future held like oh yeah selfies everywhere so sad all right so anyway it's your fault not mine thanks so much thank you tell them about what you're wearing why don't you go and why don't you talk about your dress I'm wearing a Halloween dress Yes.

[273] Thank you.

[274] I'm excited to be wearing it because there's little skulls on it.

[275] You really can't wear it a lot because I'm not got got off.

[276] So one time a year I get to wear it.

[277] We're dressing up for our Halloween show, so I couldn't wear it for that.

[278] Haven't worn it in so long.

[279] I forgot it was ripped on the sun.

[280] So please ignore that.

[281] Wait, when's it from?

[282] Oh, two years ago.

[283] You got in there.

[284] You got in there.

[285] I wore it for one some tour.

[286] It's a pocket.

[287] It's essentially a pocket.

[288] It's a high pocket.

[289] it is because you could throw change in there and it would stop right there that's the new thing is just make your own pocket rip your fucking dress keys penknife buy cheap shit penknit random change yeah hang on let me get a let me get my head some gum yeah um what about yours those are a nice shoe i will say those are new right oh i know it's hard it's hard to hear it is hard to hear It's a real little echoey with each other.

[290] Yeah.

[291] No, I've had these.

[292] Oh, really?

[293] They look really fancy.

[294] I do the thing where I find one pair of shoes that fit, and I buy them in 800 colors.

[295] Then I, yeah, and then I just don't think about it.

[296] Oh, these are the same as gold and red?

[297] They're the same as gold.

[298] They're the same as the ones I got married in my red ones.

[299] And they're comfortable.

[300] ModCloth.

[301] We're doing ads now.

[302] Live show.

[303] No, they don't advertise with us anymore.

[304] promo code?

[305] Murder.

[306] Murder.

[307] This, on the other hand, has low pockets.

[308] Oh, I was going to tell the raisin story, but I think we posted that show, everybody knows it.

[309] We don't have stories anymore.

[310] Catch.

[311] End of the tour, last leg.

[312] We've got to start going crazy and doing drugs, so we have cool stories to tell about the road.

[313] Rock and roll!

[314] We're so boring!

[315] All we do is just order food and go back to the hotel and sit in bed and eat food and watch forensic files.

[316] Yeah.

[317] Pretty sweet.

[318] Sometimes I'll crack a tiny bottle of, you know, wine from the minibar.

[319] Sometimes I'll crack a Pringles can.

[320] I've never liked Pringles until we started touring.

[321] And then I was like, God damn, these little guys are everywhere I go.

[322] Like little friends.

[323] Oh, hi, to welcome you to your hotel room.

[324] It's me and that guy with the mustache, talking.

[325] Hey, Mr. Pringles.

[326] Hi, Karen.

[327] Oh.

[328] Oh, it's so sad.

[329] The Pringle guy.

[330] The Pringle guy and I are quite close.

[331] Should we, oh, dear.

[332] Should we sit down?

[333] Vince just said to us, our tour manager slash our husband, Vince just said.

[334] To her husband.

[335] You're going to laugh when you see the chairs.

[336] It'll be, and he's not wrong.

[337] This is, yeah.

[338] The tiny.

[339] Well, hello.

[340] Oh, this is precious.

[341] I feel like a baby.

[342] I kind of like it.

[343] I feel like if we got this table up a little higher and these chairs a little lower.

[344] This could be real.

[345] Eat soup.

[346] Hey, you guys.

[347] I'm going to tuck this into my, that's my bed.

[348] And then I'm going to eat soup.

[349] It's going to be great.

[350] How about whoever is telling their story has to sit on the table?

[351] That's a good idea.

[352] Yeah.

[353] And the other person leans way back.

[354] Someone is getting stabbed in the audience.

[355] It's going to happen.

[356] It's going to happen.

[357] Oh, by the way.

[358] Welcome.

[359] This is the podcast, my favorite murder.

[360] This is Karen Kilgara.

[361] This is Georgia Hard Star.

[362] We usually do a gag about Stephen being under the tablecloth.

[363] Can't do the Stephen bit.

[364] It doesn't work.

[365] It's not going to work.

[366] Steven.

[367] He's home.

[368] He's at my house.

[369] I hope he's at my house.

[370] I haven't gotten.

[371] one cat photo yet today.

[372] Oh no, he's definitely dead.

[373] There's no way he's not.

[374] Yeah.

[375] I just realized I might not have left him any keys.

[376] And can you check on that please?

[377] Here's the thing.

[378] If that is what happened, he is scaling the side of that apartment building.

[379] Like he will not let those cats.

[380] He won't let a thing happen to those cats.

[381] No. In fact, he brought home somehow T -shirts for them last weekend.

[382] like that's internet gold he's like I'm getting followers tonight yeah no he's he absolutely lives entirely on social media I actually don't know if he's real he might be we actually never met him in person yeah he just downloads himself to when we tape hologram what are you just like paid so much money to get a Stephen hologram at all our live shows and he was like I'll just come with you guys for free and we're like no no no we're getting a $25 ,000 hologram instead.

[383] Sorry, you're getting a pay cut because it costs a lot of money.

[384] Sorry, it's what we need for the spectacle, for the show of the show.

[385] It's what's best for the show, and they bring real Elvis to sit with him.

[386] Stephen simply can't get a break.

[387] Listen, we need tiny stools, and we need tiny bottles of water and we won't have it anywhere else.

[388] You've gotten real bossy at live shows, right?

[389] Divas, Las Vegas.

[390] It's happening up here.

[391] I love that they gave us a rug that's in kind of some nice autumnal tones.

[392] Yes.

[393] It's gorgeous.

[394] It's really nice, Sacramento.

[395] Really nice.

[396] This is a true crime comedy podcast.

[397] Yes.

[398] What that means is this is a true crime comedy podcast.

[399] Right?

[400] And so oftentimes at live shows, people will bring other people who don't listen and are not interested in this podcast to the podcast live show.

[401] It happens a lot.

[402] Many of you are very codependent.

[403] You simply won't, you won't leave other people alone.

[404] Yeah.

[405] And so you drag people.

[406] We call them drag -alongs.

[407] They're here against their will.

[408] We got it.

[409] We've been drug -alonged to shit.

[410] Yeah.

[411] That's how you make love work.

[412] Here's the thing.

[413] I've been to so many wrestling shows, you guys.

[414] But I don't mind because there's good snacks.

[415] That's how it works.

[416] And I've eaten so many pringles.

[417] What?

[418] That's not.

[419] the same or a relationship.

[420] The combination sometimes of true crime and comedy is uncomfortable for people because they might assume not knowing us, not listening, not being best friends with us the way you guys are.

[421] Right?

[422] You guys, you guys give us the benefit of the doubt.

[423] You know us and you know our intentions, hopefully.

[424] So sometimes the combination of true crime and comedy makes people uncomfortable because they think, oh no, they think it's funny that people get more, they think it's funny.

[425] that people are victimized.

[426] That's not the case at all.

[427] It's a very complex combination.

[428] It's the people, it's our interest, it's our passion, but then it's also the way we talk to each other.

[429] And deal with life.

[430] Yeah.

[431] By making fun of it.

[432] That's right.

[433] Life, not.

[434] Life is crazy and dumb and insane, and you have to make jokes.

[435] It's important.

[436] So, if you are in that situation, and that makes you uncomfortable, we just, the two of us just want to say, get the fuck out right now.

[437] It's important.

[438] truly truly we hope you don't I would rather you fall asleep if you're really bored but don't but if you're like angry then we don't need it we already have the girl yelling demands and it's the first five minutes of the show you're not wearing a watch but you just pointed at it see that's comedy I have a subdural watch like a subdural hematoma but it's a watch watch watch bruise Georgia what if I told you we could be transported to the 1920s to solve a murder I'd say my entire life and wardrobe have led me to this point if you want to escape to a bygone age of mystery, danger, and romance then check out June's Journey the Hidden Object mystery game that tests your detective skills June's Journey is a mobile mystery game that follows June Parker and New York socialite living in London.

[439] As June Parker, you'll investigate beautifully detailed scenes of the 1920s while uncovering the mystery of her sister's murder.

[440] There are twists, turns, and catchy tunes, all leading you deeper into the thrilling storyline.

[441] And if you play well enough, you could make it to the detective club, where you can chat with other players and either team up with them or compete against them.

[442] June needs your help, but watch out you never know which character might be a villain.

[443] Find out, as you escape this world and dive into June's.

[444] world of mystery, murder, and romance.

[445] Can you crack the case?

[446] Download June's Journey for free today on iOS and Android.

[447] Discover your inner detective when you download June's Journey for free today on iOS and Android.

[448] That's June's Journey, download the game for free on iOS and Android.

[449] Goodbye.

[450] Hey, this is exciting.

[451] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[452] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.

[453] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[454] Who killed Saz?

[455] And were they really after Charles?

[456] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[457] This season, murder hits close to home.

[458] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[459] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[460] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[461] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[462] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[463] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[464] Goodbye.

[465] I forgot to check who goes first tonight.

[466] Did you?

[467] It's me. Okay, great.

[468] Tiny bottle.

[469] This water expired in 1997.

[470] So did I. Ah, yes.

[471] Firing.

[472] I love it.

[473] Fire.

[474] All spice tonight.

[475] Guys, I'm going to tonight talk to you about the assassination attempt of President Gerald Ford by the coward Lynette Squeaky Frong.

[476] Wow!

[477] Right?

[478] Good one.

[479] As we all know, Sacramento and the greater northern central valley has some fucking bum -out murders.

[480] Dude, you guys.

[481] Great job.

[482] People are competing to have it be bad up here.

[483] It's like, it's really, Your cults are intense.

[484] Everything involves knives where you're just like, can you put the knife down for a fucking second and just control people's mind with your weird eyes?

[485] Everything's tough.

[486] Steven Sends says like a list of murders to choose from and I was reading and he held something like a two -line thing and I was just getting bummer and bummer.

[487] It was just like, oh man. No. This on the other hand, although it has a touch of violence, as we like, it's truly, I knew that it happened.

[488] very distantly, but I never knew the details of the story.

[489] That squeaky, man. She fucking was crazy as shit, as we say.

[490] What it is is, like me and the Pringlescan, man, she devoted herself to the man that she believed was going to save the world.

[491] Very similar personalities.

[492] What if you look closely tonight and the Pringlescan guy has a swastika carved into his...

[493] I'm just saying, What if?

[494] It's fun to imagine weird things.

[495] Most of the information I got from this was from, or is from, and the pictures, a website called CLO Drive, which is completely dedicated to the Sharon Tate and the La Bianca murders, and there's tons of pictures.

[496] It's a really, really good, very thorough website where every member of the Manson family has their own individual page.

[497] I appreciate it for them doing my homework for me and of course God's own Wikipedia I mean how do we live how did we live before without Wikipedia no idea Lynette Alice Squeaky From was born in Santa Monica on October 22nd, 1948 to an aeronautical engineer of a father That aeronautical engineer of a father of yours God damn aeronautical engineer and a homemaker mom.

[498] She was the oldest of three, but they grow up.

[499] She's born in Santa Monica.

[500] I don't know what to do with my arms and hands.

[501] Go up high.

[502] Do you do this?

[503] You could stack them on top of some water bottles.

[504] I'm going to do that.

[505] Perfect.

[506] That's good.

[507] That's good?

[508] Yeah.

[509] What's best for deep eye contact?

[510] Only deep eye contact.

[511] What if we both got under the table?

[512] in what we call the Stephen position okay now they grew up in a area called Westchester I don't know if you're familiar with that in California and by all accounts Lynette is happy healthy and a talented child this is very interesting when she was 11 she auditions for and makes it into a very exclusive touring children's dance troupe called the Westchester lariots No, I'm really mad because one of the websites I found this on they posted this picture and I was like, holy shit, we get a picture of Squeaky Fromm in the Westchester lariots.

[513] But then I realized that they had just pulled a random picture of six girls dancing and they were like, there you go, there's some lariots for you.

[514] I was like, she's not in it.

[515] So you get how it works?

[516] Dancing.

[517] Children.

[518] They pick their feet up and put them back down.

[519] It's called dancing.

[520] That sounds intense.

[521] Yeah.

[522] But she made it.

[523] And the group traveled through the U .S. and Europe.

[524] They did show.

[525] They'd been around for like 10 years.

[526] They did shows at the White House.

[527] They did shows at the Hollywood Bowl.

[528] They did shows on Lawrence Wilk.

[529] Oh, okay.

[530] I was like, where's that?

[531] That's a TV show.

[532] On Lawrence.

[533] I thought you were going to say it on this very stage.

[534] On this whole.

[535] Could you imagine?

[536] I bet they did.

[537] Um, guys, we're going to the capital.

[538] Shine up your tap shoes.

[539] We got to put on our very best for Sacramento.

[540] That's how they talk in Westchester.

[541] In junior high, she's very popular.

[542] She has lots of friends.

[543] Well, sure.

[544] Including a classmate she met in drama class, a young Phil Hartman.

[545] No. No fucking joke unless Wikipedia is lying to me, which is, of course, 80 % possible.

[546] That's a weird bit of trivia.

[547] Squeaky Fromm and Phil Hartman were buddies in junior high.

[548] I want to see that sketch, that S &L sketch.

[549] You know?

[550] That's what?

[551] What?

[552] It's kind of like we're doing this in a canyon up here.

[553] There's, what's that you say?

[554] Hello.

[555] Oh, hello.

[556] Okay.

[557] In eighth grade, Lynette is given the yearbook superlative personality plus.

[558] Oh, my God.

[559] Personality plus.

[560] Plus drugs.

[561] Okay.

[562] So I believe.

[563] Let's see.

[564] There she is.

[565] She's so cute and normal looking.

[566] Just a young, innocent gal.

[567] I had that hair, no joke.

[568] It's good hair.

[569] I did that, 18, 19 or so.

[570] A nice high bob?

[571] A hard bob.

[572] Up here?

[573] Oh, yeah.

[574] Like a little mod bob.

[575] Sure.

[576] Did you ever just stick a bow to the top of your head with tape?

[577] Because that's what personality plus like to do for school pictures.

[578] I only had personality, minus.

[579] The plus is the bow?

[580] The plus is the bow.

[581] Everyone knows that.

[582] okay yeah let's make that's not real I actually had some history about the Westchester Larry's I lost my place because I was just like I don't want to talk about the Westchester lariots anymore okay four years later that was junior high four years later she's in high school blowing it she's totally on drugs she's flunking out of every class no personality no plus she's sucking it.

[583] Been there, done that.

[584] Didn't join a cult, though.

[585] Thank you fucking God.

[586] Good.

[587] You just raved.

[588] Raved hard.

[589] Yeah.

[590] It's kind of a cult.

[591] It's a cult in itself, but you got to be in charge.

[592] Grews in the heart.

[593] Govely in the heart.

[594] Mm -na -da -da -da -da -da -da -ha -ha.

[595] The glow -stick dance.

[596] Rinding, grinding, grinding all your teeth down the powder.

[597] Sweating.

[598] Sweating.

[599] Sweeting.

[600] Okay.

[601] I may have told the story on the podcast before, but that just reminded me one of my oldest friends, Dave Messmer, is also here tonight.

[602] Oh, is he the singing in your face guy?

[603] What's that?

[604] Is he the singing in your face guy?

[605] Yes.

[606] Oh, shit.

[607] Dave Messmer.

[608] This was at an 18th Street Hillcats party that we were at.

[609] My favorite Dave Ascandari was there.

[610] Dave Messmer.

[611] We're all...

[612] Shout yourself out.

[613] We're all there.

[614] Alicia, my friend Alicia Gonzalez.

[615] And just all around.

[616] I'm just going to name names.

[617] People.

[618] Every single one in the, yeah.

[619] But we were all quite high on what we called Marijuana.

[620] And somebody put on that fucking delight CD, and it turned out that Dave knew every single word to grooves in the heart and every other song on the album.

[621] Dave, you and I, later tonight we're going to have a sing -off.

[622] You're going to party.

[623] We're just going to sing in each other's faces.

[624] And here's the thing.

[625] singing in people's faces is okay when you're high in someone's lip sinking in your face so I could hear his kind of like high lips sticking together and it's like groove is in the dry mouth and shit and I kept going please I was really high please date so please stop it I'm begging you angry face please I can't I can't my face can't get any paler I hate this Here's why I love him, and here's why he's one of my best friends of the world.

[626] He would not stop.

[627] He wouldn't.

[628] He wouldn't.

[629] He wanted to have his own good time.

[630] Lynette's dad is a super strict bastard, and so she barely graduates from high school, and he's like, you have to go to El Camino College, and she's like, okay, and then, of course, sucks it at El Camino College.

[631] Because if you can't cut it in high school, There's no way Let me tell you from first -hand experience It doesn't get easier The higher you get up in those grades When you get more independence And you're around beer and drugs more You don't get better at school It's true High school's a good indicator of how you're going to do in college That's right Guess how I did in college?

[632] Terribly I'm afraid that the SAC State people are going to come and find me tonight I just be like You know what?

[633] You didn't have to do much And you still didn't do it did you taking up a dorm room so Lynette's dad kicks her out of the house and she becomes homeless so she does what all depressed and lost people do she goes and hangs out at Venice Beach it's just a it's a garbage heap truly unless you're a weightlifter and then I think it's really great it's like very freeing and all your people are there or if you're looking for drugs lots of drugs it's a great beautiful tourist place for drugs yeah Yeah.

[634] That's great.

[635] So in Venice Beach, she meets a charismatic young rambler by the name of Charles Marie Manson.

[636] He had just gotten out of the federal penitentiary.

[637] Did you say Charles Marie?

[638] Yeah, I made that up.

[639] I made it up.

[640] It's my fucking show.

[641] How did you do that so casually?

[642] I'm in Sacramento.

[643] That's a low chair to kick off of.

[644] Yeah, it doesn't really work.

[645] Yeah, it's not.

[646] Kick it.

[647] Charles Marie Vampson.

[648] So, it's Charles Marie.

[649] Can someone who has a Wikipedia pass, please change his middle name on the Wikipedia to Marie?

[650] And let's...

[651] I'll start that rumor.

[652] How funny would that be if that becomes a fact?

[653] It'll be that thing of like, you know, John Wayne's real name was Priscilla.

[654] Back in the day, there were like some names you were like, is that a girl name?

[655] Now I'm worried about masculinity.

[656] Well, now...

[657] God forbid.

[658] When women are men and men are women.

[659] What's going to happen?

[660] That's not my America.

[661] Shut up.

[662] Okay.

[663] Charlie's just gotten out of the pen, and he has lots to share with anyone who'll listen.

[664] And of course, Lynette is right there, wide -eyed and probably on acid.

[665] So it all sounded fucking great to her.

[666] She's like, say it again, Charlie, the part about how the coming race wars will end the world, and we should all be in a cave.

[667] and then play a song on the guitar that's not awful at all so he jabbers away at her they become fast friends the whole time she's staring at him going personality plus the plus is the fucking insane look in his eye that's the plus the plus is malignant narcissism plus okay so she's a devotee kind of like right off the bat.

[668] And in 1967, she settles in with him and the rest of the Manson family at the Spawn Ranch.

[669] This is like a weird picture.

[670] You know, there's lots of Spawn Ranch pictures that you see where they're all like crouched in a cave.

[671] Yeah.

[672] Like just blazing on LSD or whatever.

[673] But I...

[674] Get that fucking baby out of the Manson family.

[675] Please.

[676] They had a couple Manson babies.

[677] Jesus.

[678] There she is right there, right?

[679] That's her over here.

[680] Look at her.

[681] I'm looking at her.

[682] Back to her.

[683] Look at it.

[684] Tell me what she's wearing.

[685] She's a cutie.

[686] I don't know.

[687] There's like a belt on her head or something.

[688] Oh, wait a second.

[689] This is when she was in the Pirates of Penzance.

[690] Shit.

[691] Shit.

[692] Well, they look like they're having a great time.

[693] I've got to check those photos.

[694] So that's her loving life in the Manson family.

[695] The side of it they don't want you to know about.

[696] All right.

[697] I thought it was kind of fun sometimes.

[698] Guys, we laughed.

[699] All right.

[700] She gets the nickname Squeaky because the grandson of the ranch owner, who is also a Manson family member, says that that's the sound she would make every time he touched her.

[701] Did you know about that etymology?

[702] No. That's making me uncomfortable.

[703] Yeah, yeah.

[704] How does that work?

[705] E!

[706] Oh.

[707] Or, uh.

[708] She's like, I'm not squeaking.

[709] It's only when she's starting to come down off the LSD and realize where she is and she starts going, Oh, no, what?

[710] I was squeaky.

[711] I just want to go back to junior high.

[712] No, it's sad.

[713] Yeah.

[714] So, as we all know, in October of 1969, Charles Manson got four of his followers to, there were two nights of multiple murders, horrifying murders.

[715] The first night was at Sharon Tate's Cello Drive home, and the second night was at the home of Leo and Rosemary La Bianca.

[716] and they were all arrested in October, sorry, October of 1969 is when they were arrested.

[717] And then the remaining Manson family members, they camp outside of the jail where the Manson family is being held.

[718] So here's some of the Manson ladies.

[719] And they were there to talk about how Charlie's innocent, they were kind of trying to say like he was innocent, this wasn't his thing, because he wasn't actually at the murders, as we know, but they were all there.

[720] there to talk about how awesome Charlie was.

[721] Then...

[722] Sweeties, go home.

[723] It didn't...

[724] It didn't work.

[725] Yeah.

[726] So then...

[727] Right?

[728] Everyone's like, their knee...

[729] Get up off the street.

[730] There's gum down there.

[731] Whatever.

[732] So then they decide they're going to shape their heads.

[733] What's that going to do?

[734] Just like freak out the man. Yeah.

[735] Yeah.

[736] They freaked out the man. When ladies become men and men become ladies.

[737] Hell, hell breaks loose Make sure you vote Okay Vogue Make sure you vote Dietrich and DiMaggio So Listen Here's what I kind of love about Lynette Squeaky From She didn't shave her head She's like I have a really good hair Yeah That's the plus is the red hair Yes I honestly think she was one of those kind of people Who was like you know what we should do shave our heads and then everyone else says and she's like, go sit on the sidewalk.

[738] This is perfect.

[739] Meanwhile, she's like, well, I'm not going to do it, but there's a reason.

[740] I have to watch you guys because the man's coming.

[741] Yeah, yeah.

[742] But I'll be.

[743] But I'll be.

[744] You guys look great with shaved heads, by the way.

[745] It looks amazing.

[746] People are losing their minds.

[747] Even with all that loving support, Charles Manson and the four other family members are found guilty of murder and given the death penalty which is eventually commuted to life in prison as we know.

[748] We know it.

[749] This is the baseline crime.

[750] It's the reason we know who Lynette Squeaky Fromm is.

[751] Right.

[752] That's how she came into the world in a very disturbing way.

[753] If you weren't a fan of the Westchester Lariots, this is the way.

[754] I know her from the Westchester Lariat.

[755] Right?

[756] Because you're a SoCal girl just like her.

[757] Yeah.

[758] She was great at the laryotes.

[759] She danced with her heart and soul.

[760] I have to say I did pull about four different pictures of Lawrence.

[761] just to give an example.

[762] There wasn't a picture of her on it.

[763] It was just like, I love Lawrence Welk.

[764] So I just started pulling pictures of like two ladies singers dressed like astronauts.

[765] This is genius.

[766] That's for you later with the Pringles.

[767] It's for you just to look through the slideshow, like cry.

[768] Me and the guy.

[769] Look at this.

[770] It's hilarious.

[771] The Pringles guy.

[772] Steven's like, sorry, where do I put this?

[773] It's like, it's a picture of a guy playing the clarinet.

[774] I'm like, you can take it out.

[775] Forget it.

[776] So, Annette Squeaky Fromm has never charged for any of those crimes.

[777] But in April of 1971, she served 90 days in jail for attempting to feed a hamburger laced with LSD to Barbara Hoyt, who was a witness to the Tate murder.

[778] How do you think, how many bites of that did Barbara take?

[779] Zero, probably.

[780] She's like, sorry, crazy.

[781] I'm not going to eat your fucking charbroiled weird hamburger.

[782] There's some, she's like, I'm at the pet store.

[783] I don't feel like a hamburger wimpy, thank you.

[784] It's not my thing.

[785] What the fuck?

[786] So they end up, because of that, she's 90 days in jail.

[787] And she also refused to testify against or say anything at all to the cops about the Manson murder.

[788] So they basically kept her in jail for 90 days.

[789] Then when Charles Manson is moved to Folsom State Prison, squeaky, right?

[790] One of the great jails of this state.

[791] We've got some escapees here.

[792] Squeaky and another Manson sister, Sandra Good.

[793] What do you call it?

[794] Gal.

[795] A gal.

[796] A Manson gal.

[797] They moved to a shitty apartment at 1725 P Street in downtown Sacramento.

[798] Do you guys live there?

[799] Everybody knows what P. Street's like.

[800] Some serious shit.

[801] they moved to Sacramento to be closer to Charles Manson at Folsom Prison it's not a good plan yeah no no but she doesn't stay there for long because in 1972 squeaky moves to Stockton right because she's like Sacramento it's too cultured it's too refined I can't do it anymore I can't it's like being in fucking Paris France I can't do it anymore.

[802] With the fashion and the demands, I have to go to Stockton and just take in that water, that gorgeous water.

[803] Wait a second.

[804] Sorry, this is taking too long.

[805] But I just remember this is one of my horror -based horror, like why I have so many shame issues.

[806] Oh, oh, we're going to work it out.

[807] Let's do it.

[808] Guys.

[809] We were at a speech meet in Stockton.

[810] one time, it was like the all -state speech meet or whatever.

[811] The laureates, the speech laureates?

[812] Yes.

[813] Right.

[814] We all had to audition for speech.

[815] No. And we were staying at this hotel in Stockton.

[816] It was really new.

[817] It was humongous.

[818] It's where everybody that was in the speech meet was staying.

[819] All these schools from all over all over Northern California.

[820] My friend Holly, we're leaving.

[821] It's the day we're leaving.

[822] So all of these high school kids that have just competed in the speech meet are all filling up this entire huge.

[823] hotel lobby is like a Sheridan, say, or something.

[824] And in the center of the lobby are like two flights of stairs, like a weird 10 coconut cream pies from the Sesame Street thing where it was like, it was easily 50 stairs going down to the lobby.

[825] Yeah.

[826] So we're at the top of these stairs.

[827] My friend Holly hands me her super bizarre and lame Samsonite, like luggage from the 60s, and she goes, can you take that down for me?

[828] I have to go get something.

[829] and I'm like, okay, and I have my bag and her bag, and I start walking down the stairs, like the queen of Spain.

[830] And I was kind of like, hey, everybody, it's me from the humorous interpretation speech.

[831] And halfway down, her stupid suitcase busts open, and I'm not kidding, like 300 tampons rolled out.

[832] I'm not kidding.

[833] It was as if she, it was like she took a small tampon suitcase to the speech meet with her.

[834] But no one knew it was her suitcase.

[835] It looked like it was my fucking suitcase.

[836] Oh, I want to cry for you, Argentina.

[837] All of them.

[838] It was like this, but stairs and tampon.

[839] Do you know how hard it is to pick up tampons off of stairs?

[840] I would have.

[841] Like squatting and like.

[842] Ma 'am, do you need help with your tampons?

[843] Well, also it's high school.

[844] Not one person came to help me. Not one.

[845] They were all just like.

[846] Oh, my God, you use tampons?

[847] Why do you use all those tampons?

[848] Do you use all of those?

[849] It was, I hated her so much.

[850] Yeah, yeah.

[851] No, fuck her.

[852] In that moment, I was like, this is...

[853] Let's bring her out.

[854] Holy, get out here.

[855] And everyone, if you go under your seat, there's a tampon.

[856] We're going to throw them at her.

[857] It's a count of three.

[858] So she fucking knows what it's like.

[859] That's so sad.

[860] Like, that makes me sad.

[861] I'm sorry.

[862] It's why I am the way I am It makes sense Because whenever I ask you if you have a tampon You scream at me and start crying And run away And I've always been like, why does she do that?

[863] It's so weird I'm sorry, please don't take that personally I thought it was just me No, it's Stockton It's fucking Stockton I've had my heart broken all over this goddamn floodplain Okay Okay Let's just fucking get into this shit Okay.

[864] Squeakies in Stockton.

[865] She moves in with some Manson members and she also, there's a couple Aryan Brotherhood members in there too, of course.

[866] Let's throw those assholes in for fun.

[867] Right?

[868] Mix them in.

[869] So in September of 1972, they all meet up with a couple named Laura and James Willett in a cabin in Guernville, which is actually closer to where I grew up.

[870] Right?

[871] Up by those, we get some river people here tonight.

[872] Good.

[873] Nice.

[874] So, um, so, uh, I can't find the names.

[875] James, you know what I did?

[876] I fucking took out the Aryan Brotherhood names because I was like, fuck them.

[877] I'm not naming their names.

[878] But then I started the next sentence with the guy's first name.

[879] So James was shot and killed, and they made him dig his own grave.

[880] And then the second guy...

[881] Like, seriously?

[882] Yes.

[883] In Gernville of all places.

[884] Yeah.

[885] Okay.

[886] So, so here's, the reason I tell you all this horrible shit is, so these two Aryan Brotherhood guys were going to snitch on the Manson people about robberies that they had been doing.

[887] So they all found out, took them up to Guernville, boom, boom.

[888] So the cops tracked them all down to this house they live in Stockton, and they burst, they bust in, they arrest everybody.

[889] But Squeaky isn't there, of course, because she never gets caught for anything.

[890] Um, she was, basically Charlie put her in charge of keeping all the Manson family in touch with each other while they were all in jail.

[891] So she would go around and just visit all the Manson members in jail and tell them what was going on.

[892] The house mother for the Vanson family.

[893] Yeah.

[894] She was like a human phone tree.

[895] So she was visiting a Manson member named William Gosher, who was in jail for robbery.

[896] And so when she gets out of the jail from, visiting him.

[897] She goes to a pay phone and calls the Stockton house.

[898] Cops answer, who have just raided the house.

[899] And she's like, hey, can I get a ride?

[900] I'm at the prison.

[901] They're like, yep, we'll be right there.

[902] They fucking go pick her up, take her to the station, yep.

[903] That's hilarious.

[904] They arrest her with the others, but then she says, no, I was not in Gernville.

[905] I was traveling all around California, bringing the mansons together.

[906] Beautiful.

[907] They hold her for two and a half months, but they have no evidence.

[908] They can't charge her.

[909] So the other four people from the Stockton House are convicted of those murders.

[910] Squeaky walks free.

[911] She's a golden girl.

[912] So she is like, that's enough of Stockton for me. I got to go back to fucking P. Street or wherever the hell it was.

[913] And she moves back in.

[914] And then she and what's her name?

[915] Her roommate, who was also a Manson person, they start wearing robes all the time.

[916] Super chill.

[917] Really?

[918] This is going to be next door.

[919] This is what we wear.

[920] And we just point at everything.

[921] This would...

[922] Just point that shit.

[923] What's this over here?

[924] What's that?

[925] A murder.

[926] That would work for me so well.

[927] I would love it.

[928] Can't see the shoes.

[929] See, I was looking at that and it's like a robe, if that ended at the knee, it would look like Little Red Riding Hood.

[930] It would be so cute.

[931] But it goes all the way to the ground, and that's Satan.

[932] That's Satan's, work.

[933] Yeah.

[934] That's Satan's robe.

[935] Okay.

[936] They decide they're going to change their names to the nicknames Manson used to call them.

[937] So Squeaky changes her nickname from her horrible nickname to red because Manson, yeah, right?

[938] He called her red because of her hair and her love of the redwoods.

[939] Fucking hippies.

[940] And...

[941] No. No. No. Sarah, he called blue because of her eyes and the ocean.

[942] he's not very clever I mean look you can say what you want about Charles Marie Manson but he has a way with words he is a dirty poet he's like a little nutso poet okay now just moving on for some fun oh that's her robe and color see how from like shoulders up it's like that's kind of cute is she like a sexy fairy tale girl?

[943] No. No, she's crazy.

[944] Let's see what's here.

[945] Okay.

[946] So in 1975, Squeaky Red from reaches out to Jimmy Page's the VP of his record label and says I have foreseen something for Jimmy Page and I must speak with him.

[947] That works.

[948] Right?

[949] It's the 70s when you just call record labels and just be like, I need to speak to Jimmy Page, please.

[950] And they were like the vice president of the record label is a guy named Danny Goldberg and he was like um no I think she actually went there I can't figure it up but basically he said she said that she had foreseen a vision where bad energy was going to get Jimmy Page and um so she needed to talk to him and so Danny Goldberg from the record label was like maybe you can talk to him tomorrow but you should probably leave and then she was like tomorrow it'll be too late and so he says why don't you leave a And thanks so much for dropping by.

[951] And then the second she leaves, he burned the note.

[952] That's how creepy she was, yes.

[953] Cool.

[954] That's just a little, I was just giving you a little color about the kind of crazy shit squeaky was up to.

[955] So now we get to the task at hand.

[956] When she's 26 years old, she learned that President Gerald Ford, he's just asked Congress, remember him?

[957] He, nope.

[958] Hey, boo.

[959] I remember in like second grade they made us write letters to him, and I didn't know what to say, so I said, I wish you were my uncle.

[960] Yeah, he's got an uncle face.

[961] He's very.

[962] Take a quarter out of your ear.

[963] He's a vuncular.

[964] The man is a vuncular.

[965] Yeah.

[966] A vuncular uncle?

[967] A vuncular uncle.

[968] Yes.

[969] A vuncler.

[970] A vuncler.

[971] We did it.

[972] We're workshopping it.

[973] President Gerald Ford decided in 19, around this 73, 74, 75.

[974] I don't know.

[975] But he wants to start relaxing some of the provisions on that old, bothersome 1963 clean air act.

[976] Oh, you're right.

[977] Yeah.

[978] So you might remember that Squeaky loves the Redwoods and nature in general.

[979] And she's livid, and she's very concerned about the environment.

[980] And so she's watching the news in her P. Street Department, and she sees that the president's going to be in Sacramento to speak at the Sacramento Convention Center for a bunch of wealthy California business leaders.

[981] Yes, what a great place.

[982] All the good stuff happens there.

[983] All the walls and the doors.

[984] And it's kind of rounded at the top.

[985] It's a total guess.

[986] I've never been there.

[987] So he's staying at the Senator Hotel on L Street and it's like a 15 -minute walk from Squeaky's P. Street apartment.

[988] Perfect.

[989] So she decides she's going to bring attention to the trees, this is what she later said, by putting fear into the government by killing its symbol, President Gerald Ford.

[990] Jesus, what a fucking psycho.

[991] It's not a good plan.

[992] It's straight up crazy.

[993] crazed.

[994] Also, trees are great.

[995] Yes.

[996] For sure.

[997] Absolutely.

[998] People are good, too.

[999] Yeah.

[1000] I bet you anything?

[1001] If trees could talk, they would be like, we're not down with killing people.

[1002] I think they would.

[1003] I agree.

[1004] Yes.

[1005] I think they're like old hippies.

[1006] Totally.

[1007] And they're like, hey man, be cool, man. Yeah.

[1008] Absolutely.

[1009] We have to wrap this up.

[1010] Okay.

[1011] So, okay.

[1012] So in the morning of September 5th, Squeaky throws on her old red robe, and she grabs a 45 -caliber colt M -1911, or 1911, I don't know.

[1013] Semi -automatic revolver.

[1014] She straps that motherfucker to her left leg underneath the red robe like a psychotic little red riding hood, and she heads on down to the Capitol grounds.

[1015] And I'm sure the FBI's...

[1016] security, people are like, that one.

[1017] Just keep your eye on her.

[1018] We don't know.

[1019] She could have muffins.

[1020] We don't know.

[1021] She could be from a musical?

[1022] Yeah.

[1023] That's so playing over at the music circus?

[1024] We don't know.

[1025] That's right.

[1026] Insider info.

[1027] Now, it does seem super insane, but actually she wasn't the only person who thought of this.

[1028] A month prior, an ex -con named Thomas Elbert, was arrested for calling the secret service and threatening to kill Gerald Ford when he visited Sacramento.

[1029] He called the Secret Service directly.

[1030] Yeah.

[1031] Hey, I'm going to kill this, dude.

[1032] Just drive yourself down to jail and say it as you're walking into a cell.

[1033] I was, I'm mad about stuff.

[1034] Over here, is this one good?

[1035] Okay, so it's 10 .02am.

[1036] Okay.

[1037] And it's 84 degrees.

[1038] Oh, guys.

[1039] In September.

[1040] Down.

[1041] In September.

[1042] This is the fucking kind of sacramental bullshit I'm talking about.

[1043] Thank you.

[1044] They know.

[1045] They know.

[1046] Thank you.

[1047] So President Ford is walking from his hotel through Capitol Park to the entrance of the Capitol building to meet with then and now Governor Jerry Brown.

[1048] Oh, shit.

[1049] Yeah.

[1050] Jerry Brown is absolutely a Highlander.

[1051] Totally.

[1052] He shall never die.

[1053] Okay.

[1054] So as the president passes through the park, he stops, and he's shaking hands with randos that are walking up and being like, because it's the 70s, people are like, hey, I don't like what you're doing.

[1055] And he's like, great to meet you.

[1056] A lot of that.

[1057] People being like, oh, my God, Chevy Chase is so funny, aren't starting it live as you.

[1058] It's great to meet you.

[1059] It's funny when you fall down.

[1060] And actually later, President Ford said he saw Squeaky Fromm step out into the the pathway.

[1061] So they're like 150 feet up the pathway in Capitol Park and he sees a woman in a red fucking robe cape step into the pathway and he figures she's just there to say hi like everybody else.

[1062] She walks up in her weird eyes wide shut robe and go, she's like second row so there's like the first row of people shaking hands with them and she's in the next row and she pulls out, she reaches down to her leg holster and pulls out her Colt 45, we'll call it, you can't remember, Colt 1911, and actually the president said he remembers seeing a hand come through the people in the first row and quote, and that's the first active gesture I saw, but in the hand there was a gun.

[1063] In the hand there was a gun.

[1064] That's why no one liked you as the president.

[1065] You are old McDonald's.

[1066] Okay.

[1067] So, What Squeaky doesn't know, because you doesn't know that much about guns, and neither do I'm going to pretend like I do, is that the ammunition in a Cole 45 is stored in a detachable magazine, the pistol's grip.

[1068] That didn't seem believable at all.

[1069] But Squeaky's gun, there was no round in the chamber because you have to put it in manually.

[1070] Like a chich, I guess.

[1071] I get that.

[1072] I see it.

[1073] Or maybe a...

[1074] I don't know.

[1075] Who knows?

[1076] Gun stuff.

[1077] So a bunch of people in the front row that are like, look, it's the president here in Sacramento.

[1078] And then they hear the click of a fucking gun not go off right by them.

[1079] Yeah.

[1080] And because there's press all around, because it's the president of the United States, she turns to a camera and goes, it didn't go off.

[1081] And they all start taking her picture.

[1082] Oh, my God.

[1083] Oh, wait, that's when they arrested her.

[1084] There it is.

[1085] She looks like a lunatic smurf.

[1086] Doesn't she?

[1087] Yeah.

[1088] I didn't realize that the robes were sleeveless.

[1089] Yeah.

[1090] For summer.

[1091] I mean, truly.

[1092] For September summer.

[1093] She looks like Papa Smurf in her sleeping cap.

[1094] Oh, God.

[1095] it didn't go off she waited until all the cameras got really close should I kill him now okay I'll try to kill him now wow news week was right there to get the story okay so of course everybody knows what's happening Secret Service agent Larry Buendorf grabs the gun forces out of her hand brings her to the ground once they're down there she says it didn't go off can you believe it it didn't go off I wonder if I can go back because it's...

[1096] You can't, it's the red one.

[1097] Oh, really?

[1098] Yeah, yeah.

[1099] Let's just see this.

[1100] Because this is them arresting her.

[1101] She looks so bummed.

[1102] She's just like, now that I think about it, this was not a good plan.

[1103] But I mean, there's just there's secret service everywhere.

[1104] There's cops everywhere.

[1105] So, oh, yeah.

[1106] That's when they made her take her robe off in jail.

[1107] So here's kind of the best thing.

[1108] When this happens, of course, the Secret Service doing the job that they have to do, grab President Ford and start pulling him away in the other direction from her and trying to pull him into the Capitol building to like take cover.

[1109] And he starts yelling angrily in protest at them, put me down, put me down.

[1110] And then he walks by himself, like a big boy, into the state house.

[1111] And at 10 .06 a .m., he kicks up.

[1112] off his meeting with Governor Jerry Brown.

[1113] Damn!

[1114] Four minutes, four minutes went by for that entire thing to happen.

[1115] And he's like, great, moving on.

[1116] He's like, can't do it.

[1117] Wow.

[1118] He talked to Jerry Brown for half an hour, and then when they were done with business, he goes, oh, someone just tried to assassinate me. After all of it.

[1119] What the fuck?

[1120] Yes.

[1121] And he later told the press he was not scared, and he said, quote, I thought I'd better get on with my day's schedule.

[1122] Wow.

[1123] I would have been like, oh, great, I get to have a free day off.

[1124] Yes.

[1125] I'm like, oh, I guess I can't do anything today.

[1126] Guess it's straight back to the hotel and right into the scotch.

[1127] That's right.

[1128] Let's do it.

[1129] They got massages in the 70s?

[1130] Great, I'll take one.

[1131] Send her up.

[1132] That's right.

[1133] So three days before the trial begins, President Ford actually testifies on videotape from the White House.

[1134] It's the first time a U .S. president, I guess, they didn't say sitting.

[1135] wanted to say sitting, that could be incorrect.

[1136] But it's the first time a U .S. President testifies at a criminal trial ever.

[1137] Oh, wow.

[1138] Of course, our girl refuses to cooperate with her own defense team.

[1139] Jesus.

[1140] Girl.

[1141] Her own defense team.

[1142] She's constantly fighting the man, no matter who that person is.

[1143] So she's, of course, convicted for attempting to assassinate the president and she gets a life sentence.

[1144] The prosecuting attorney, Dwayne Keyes, recommends severe punishment because she was, quote, full of hate and violence, and so she does what any of us would do in that situation.

[1145] She throws an apple at his head and knocks his glasses off.

[1146] Girl!

[1147] You are not doing yourself any favors.

[1148] Old red squeaky fromm didn't give a fuck.

[1149] Girls got aim, though.

[1150] But I wrote this down.

[1151] Remember the old trick?

[1152] That's now you know the correct way to pronounce the famous mountain chain, if you're a prosecuting attorney, Squeaky Fromm, will throw an Appalachia.

[1153] Oh.

[1154] That's how you put.

[1155] An Appalachia.

[1156] I didn't know that.

[1157] Yeah.

[1158] Great.

[1159] I already forgot it.

[1160] It'll come up again.

[1161] As she was handcuffed and taken from the courtroom, she says to the press, I came to get life, not just my life, but clean air, healthy water, and respect for creatures and creation.

[1162] Except for a bunch of people that came before.

[1163] And also, we don't need a quote from you, Squeaks.

[1164] We're good.

[1165] In 1979, she's transferred out of a federal correctional facility in Dublin, California, for attacking a fellow inmate with the claw end of a hammer.

[1166] How did she get that in jail?

[1167] Let's not pass out hammers, and they had the hands.

[1168] They tried it one year.

[1169] We're going to do woodworking, you guys, but this really is.

[1170] we're going to trust you as a trust system.

[1171] Lynette, put it down, Lynette.

[1172] So she gets transferred to federal prison camp, Camp Alderson in West Virginia, home of what mountain range?

[1173] Appalachia.

[1174] That's right, Georgia.

[1175] I already forgot it.

[1176] Five years later, 1980, Squeaky Fromm tells the Sacramento Bee that she purposely ejected the top round from her pistols magazine onto the floor of her shitty peace tree department because she, quote, was not determined to kill the guy.

[1177] Yeah, right.

[1178] It turns out the police actually did find a round of ammo on her bathroom floor.

[1179] So in December of 1987, Squeaky Fromm escapes from Camp Alderson because she hears that Charlie Manson has testicular cancer and she's like, I must go to him.

[1180] What was the plan there?

[1181] She's in jail and he's in fucking jail.

[1182] Yeah, she's going to escape.

[1183] one jail, break into another one.

[1184] I'm going to swim out to San Quentin.

[1185] Like, what are you doing?

[1186] She's caught two days later, and then she's sent to a federal medical center in Fort Worth, Texas.

[1187] And the Robe sisters, Lynette, and the other one who's, I've said a different name every time I've talked about her roommate, and I apologize.

[1188] They, they're the only two Manson family members who end up remaining devoted to Charles Manson always.

[1189] Everybody else renounced him and actually Squeaky from corresponded with him from jail to jail, well, all the whole time they were in jail.

[1190] I guess that's what you do in jail.

[1191] She told an Associated Press reporter, The curtain's going to come down on all of us, and if we don't turn everything over to Charlie immediately, it'll be too late.

[1192] It's already too late, honey.

[1193] Yeah.

[1194] I just want to know what she means.

[1195] I don't want to know if she knows what she means, or if there's just so much acid in her system.

[1196] Oh, she also said he's got more heart and spirit than anyone I've ever met, and I put my gum in this.

[1197] He has everything he wants coming from me, because he gave me everything.

[1198] And then she called him a once in a lifetime soul.

[1199] Thank God.

[1200] I don't need more of those.

[1201] Broken, smelly pockmarked blabbering, weird.

[1202] You know.

[1203] Gesticulating.

[1204] Squeaky Farm was released on parole on August 14th 2009 at the age of 60 and she moved to Marcy New York where according to Radar Online she's shacking up with a felon.

[1205] I found this article on Radar Online.

[1206] I'm like, you're fucking gossiping about this 60 year old woman.

[1207] She has has to live with somebody.

[1208] Get all the hot murder hippie goss right here at Raider Online.

[1209] So in 2010, CBS published photos of Squeaky Fromm shopping at a Walmart in that town.

[1210] She had her long gray hair tied in a braid.

[1211] And the picture is actually of her punching the camera.

[1212] No. Punk rock forever.

[1213] And that is the insane story of Lynette Squeaky Fromm assassinating the president.

[1214] Great job.

[1215] Whoa.

[1216] This is my new headshot.

[1217] I love this picture so much.

[1218] That would be great at that.

[1219] I love it so much.

[1220] It's good.

[1221] She's crazy.

[1222] She wasn't doing it on purpose, but it's the coolest.

[1223] It's just like, oh my God, I'm getting so many calls, you guys.

[1224] I don't even know what to do.

[1225] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[1226] Absolutely.

[1227] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[1228] Exactly.

[1229] Exactly.

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[1246] Goodbye.

[1247] Okay, let's do this, everyone.

[1248] I'm doing the Lodi Haystack murder.

[1249] Ooh.

[1250] For all you Lodi heads out there.

[1251] All you crazy Lodi kids and you're crazy.

[1252] Here we go.

[1253] Good job.

[1254] Oh, thanks.

[1255] On the night of September 12th, 1923.

[1256] That's where we're at.

[1257] Yeah.

[1258] Old -timey.

[1259] All the way back.

[1260] A few miles outside of Lodi.

[1261] a 16 -year -old kid notices a haystack on fire on a farm, like a stack of hay.

[1262] Yeah, a haystack, yeah.

[1263] A haystack, I get you.

[1264] You know.

[1265] He and some other witnesses gather around and realize it's not just a haystack that's on fire.

[1266] It's a car that had been pushed into the haystack.

[1267] They all got caught on fire.

[1268] And then they realized that the car is on fire and there's a person in the fucking car.

[1269] and they looked like they were like bound and propped up and they couldn't get close enough to the car their horror they watch as the car burns so so witnesses also see a car driving away rapidly from the scene in the direction of Sacramento after the fires out they find like letters and shit around and then there's these keys in the guy's pocket and they identify the man as Alexander Kel He's a 42 -year -old local butcher and cattlemen in one of the town's leading citizens.

[1270] And they're like, oh, shit, what's going on?

[1271] He was the own, Kells was the owner of the Pacific Meat Market and the toque meat market.

[1272] He was a German -born in Cologne in October of 1884, blah, blah, blah.

[1273] Basically, they immigrate to Lodi at some point.

[1274] Doesn't matter.

[1275] It's a classic American story.

[1276] who, yeah.

[1277] He eventually finishes grammar school and goes right into the trade of being a butcher immediately.

[1278] He started training when he was eight.

[1279] Yeah, eventually.

[1280] He gets the job.

[1281] It doesn't matter.

[1282] He's a butcher.

[1283] It's fine.

[1284] Tell me about his life.

[1285] What were his passions?

[1286] He's in Lodai.

[1287] He's a butcher.

[1288] Everyone knows him.

[1289] They love him.

[1290] He's a pillar of the community.

[1291] He's seen as a knight.

[1292] He's a husband and father.

[1293] He seems like this ideal.

[1294] husband and father.

[1295] He got all that meat.

[1296] Yeah.

[1297] He feeds his family.

[1298] Yeah.

[1299] Very iron, strong blood.

[1300] The thing they don't tell you about being a butcher's family, and I know this because my grandfather was a butcher, so my mom would say that we got all the weird fucking cuts of meat that no one wanted to eat.

[1301] Oh, no. So the truth is like, you're eating fucking net, turkey necks for days.

[1302] He's so like, who wants roasted ear?

[1303] Yeah.

[1304] So when I was a kid, I ate tongue, sand.

[1305] sandwiches, and I ate the heart and liver and shit.

[1306] Like, we just, you get a taste.

[1307] Also, Jewish people.

[1308] We love the weird shit.

[1309] Yeah.

[1310] It's up.

[1311] Sacramento Jews.

[1312] Sacramento Jews.

[1313] Yes.

[1314] No, some of you are faking it.

[1315] There's not that many.

[1316] You can't accuse people of being fake Jews.

[1317] Not in this political climate.

[1318] So he, he feeds his family organ meat.

[1319] Everyone's happy.

[1320] They love him.

[1321] So everyone is devastated.

[1322] The whole town is like, fuck, when he dies in this horrible way, and they're like, we need to find a killer.

[1323] This is insane.

[1324] Over 3 ,000 townspeople were at his funeral.

[1325] And, yeah, I'm sure they have a lovely spread.

[1326] It's fine.

[1327] Oh, the sausages.

[1328] Uh -huh.

[1329] It was the largest funeral, the county had ever seen.

[1330] Really?

[1331] Everyone was grieving and sympathetic with his.

[1332] family.

[1333] It was like a town martyr.

[1334] They were like so angry that this had happened to him.

[1335] And it was believed that he had been killed by robbers because he was known to carry large amounts of money on the days he'd go like collect his money.

[1336] I don't know.

[1337] What do they call it?

[1338] You owe me this and you owe me this.

[1339] Money collecting.

[1340] Thank you.

[1341] Can I just say my early theory?

[1342] Yes.

[1343] A bunch of the cows got together and we're like, we've had it.

[1344] You're not doing this to us anymore.

[1345] Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[1346] How did you know?

[1347] Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[1348] So, in the meantime, though, so the police are like, we're going to get this guy who did it.

[1349] And in the meantime, though, his life insurance, he's insured for $80 ,000 in today's money.

[1350] $6 billion?

[1351] No. $1 .1 million.

[1352] Mill or bill?

[1353] A mill.

[1354] Okay.

[1355] So his wife's the beneficiary, and the insurance company is like, that's a lot of money.

[1356] We're going to do our own investigation as well.

[1357] especially since he had a clause in his policy that increased the amount to $100 ,000 which is almost $1 .5 million today if he died violently, which is like, do you want to bet on that, dude?

[1358] I wouldn't...

[1359] That's not a good clause.

[1360] I feel like they probably took that out since then, right?

[1361] Yeah, I would hope so.

[1362] And it's like a really bad, like, card game that you win if it's like, everything's awful.

[1363] So they, at the autopsy, one of the ways that they were like, we can, there's something fishy here, literally, is because they knew for a fact that Alexander Kells had eaten sardines for lunch, gross.

[1364] And there was no sardines in the guy, in the stomach of the burnt corpse.

[1365] Oh.

[1366] So they're like, this is weird, but I don't know.

[1367] Like, that's, it seems fishy.

[1368] I did not mean to do that.

[1369] She loves it.

[1370] She loves a pun.

[1371] It works.

[1372] They also would discover that the dental work of this guy doesn't match up with the charred.

[1373] remains that were in the car and they're like something ain't right here so soon uh this the sheriff from stockton releases a description of the butcher and a couple weeks after his supposed death in reno some dudes like reno some guy from lodi recognizes his long -time friend alexander kelz uh -oh in fucking reno and i'm sure Alexander was like no it's not me he's like I've known you since he were six.

[1374] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's trying not to move his mouth.

[1375] No, get away from me. So they're like, oh, shit.

[1376] This dude faked his death, obviously.

[1377] So on October 2nd, police arrest a guy matching the description of him in Eureka.

[1378] And it's his 39th birthday the day they arrest him, and they found him in a box car at the railroad yards with a rifle in his mouth, trying to pull the trigger with his toes.

[1379] Oh, no. Gun jams, and they stop him.

[1380] And they're like, we know who you are.

[1381] And he's like, um, I had amnesia.

[1382] They're like, no. And he's like, um, someone made me do it.

[1383] And they're like, no. And he's like, okay, just don't tell my wife, but I faked my own death because I was in a lot of debt and I wanted her to get the money.

[1384] But I'm just going to leave.

[1385] Really?

[1386] So she didn't even know about it, yeah, basically.

[1387] Because I had her completely pinned for this murder.

[1388] Her?

[1389] Yeah, I wanted her to go down.

[1390] Hard for it.

[1391] I wanted her to experience a violent death.

[1392] Yeah, yeah.

[1393] He figured she would get over the shock of his fake death and move on comfortably with this huge insurance payout.

[1394] He was going to go to Mexico afterwards.

[1395] The man he killed, he said, was a fucking complete stranger to him.

[1396] He hired him from an employee in Agency in Lodi under the pretense of fixing a broken windmill.

[1397] Windmill?

[1398] Yeah.

[1399] And when he got there out of the car, fucking Kells just straight up shoots him in the back with a 32 revolver.

[1400] No one else can fix windmills.

[1401] He kills the one fucking guy in the West Coast.

[1402] So the man doesn't fucking even fall down when he gets shot.

[1403] So Kells grabs a heavy iron bar and hits him over the head a couple times and kills him.

[1404] I'm sorry, he gets shot and then just stands there?

[1405] He groans a little but doesn't fall down.

[1406] Oh, no. I know, this poor dude man, it's like, yeah, he's like the original Craigslist killer, but it...

[1407] Right, you know what I mean?

[1408] He did it first.

[1409] That's right.

[1410] And without Craigslist, so try that.

[1411] You know?

[1412] Bub, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1413] He puts the man in the car, put a blanket over him, drives around for several hours, eventually buys some gasoline, goes to the hayfield, and lights everything on fire, and puts his keys and shit in his pocket, like, you know, fakes his death.

[1414] But he maintained that he never, ever tried to get, wasn't going to get the insurance money for himself.

[1415] He wanted his wife to get it.

[1416] It was for her, which is like, okay, but don't kill people, dude.

[1417] I mean, and so everyone gets fucking pissed when they hear about the fact that he did this.

[1418] They, he's a cold -blooded killer.

[1419] The guy, they were, like, mourning and 3 ,000 people were like at his funeral, eating cold cuts, crying.

[1420] And now they're like, oh, shit.

[1421] This ham is so delicious.

[1422] now they're like never eat him again 400 people went vegetarian that year in Lodi Lodi is the origination of all veganism You wouldn't expect it but it's true Fun fact Okay so fucking meanwhile Mrs. Kells whose name I couldn't find This poor fucking woman is about to give birth To a baby finds out that her husband isn't dead he's a murderer, this chick loses her shit in the way only in 1920s women can.

[1423] I'm sure there was a lot of fainting, carrying on.

[1424] Did she just stagger in the streets?

[1425] Like weird eyeliner?

[1426] Yeah, she was just like losing her shit.

[1427] Saying my baby, my baby, even though the baby's right in front of her type of stuff.

[1428] Yeah, so she gives birth.

[1429] She's in so much grief that her eight -year -old daughter is sobbing at her bedside, being like, Mommy, I need you.

[1430] And she's like, I can't.

[1431] She, like, straight can't deal this poor fucking woman.

[1432] So she falls unconscious all the time, all this shit.

[1433] Truly.

[1434] Just around the house?

[1435] Yeah.

[1436] And then, so two days after his arrest, he's indicted by a grand jury, the man who he murdered wasn't immediately identified.

[1437] There's no records at the time, of course.

[1438] And migratory workers passed through Lodi all the time.

[1439] So eventually they discovered his name.

[1440] was Ed Meservais, and Mrs. Kells survives the birth of her child, and she fights through his trial to save his life, but he gets sent to die eventually by hanging.

[1441] The day before his hanging, his wife spends an hour and a half in hysteric conversation with him, weeping and begging her husband not to leave her.

[1442] He's like, it's not my choice.

[1443] He can't do anything about Yeah, I should go back and not have killed that dude.

[1444] That would be great.

[1445] And he tries to leave a couple times, and I'm sure he's like, get the, get me out of here.

[1446] He's like, it's hard enough.

[1447] Yeah.

[1448] So she screams when she has to be like carried out of the fucking fulsome prison.

[1449] And she is put on bed rest at home.

[1450] A nurse tends to her at all times since her screams disturb the entire neighborhood.

[1451] Oh, no. Although I like the idea of bed rest and a nurse all the time.

[1452] just not the constant screaming I wouldn't scream I wouldn't need to scream yeah her children are placed in the care of friends because she can't stop screaming I know it's real sad so uh the guards who were watching over Kells before he was hanged said that he was unemotional he lit a cigarette as soon as his wife left and picked up his Bible then towards told the guards I'm ready he like wouldn't eat his last meal he was just like let's get this over with Jesus I know well he's a butcher He's very, you know, he knows how it goes.

[1453] That's him.

[1454] Oh, hold on.

[1455] Uh -huh.

[1456] That's him.

[1457] What's up?

[1458] It looks like De Niro, doesn't it?

[1459] That's his wife.

[1460] Oh, Jesus.

[1461] That's the screamer.

[1462] Yeah.

[1463] That baby's like, you should hear her scream.

[1464] It's insane.

[1465] I'm so tired.

[1466] I'm exhausted.

[1467] I can't put her down.

[1468] I try to give her a warm bottle.

[1469] She won't take a pacifier.

[1470] Oh my God So 40 men gathered to watch him hang He smiled at everyone As they threw the noose around his neck Uh -oh And at 1016 a .m. on January 24th Nope, January 4th, 1924 Alexander was hanged and died And that is the Lodi Haystack murder Whoa What?

[1471] No, the twists and turns So he purely just was trying to Get out of debt.

[1472] Yeah.

[1473] Or get his wife out of his debt.

[1474] So he killed some stranger.

[1475] What a dick.

[1476] Maybe she was, she found, like, his checkbook, and then she started screaming then.

[1477] Uh -huh.

[1478] And then he's like, I have to end this somehow.

[1479] Oh, yeah.

[1480] Call the windmill guy.

[1481] Probably just already screamed before that.

[1482] Um, hey.

[1483] Shall we?

[1484] Would I just stay here?

[1485] What?

[1486] Oh, you're going to do your dance?

[1487] So, hey.

[1488] Guys.

[1489] So guys, you know, I do, I do want to tell you Sacramento.

[1490] Vince April, everybody, Vince April.

[1491] Tour manager, husband.

[1492] Okay.

[1493] I thought you were screaming because I couldn't think of what to say.

[1494] You know, I've talked very openly and honestly about my real feelings to you.

[1495] upset you at times and yeah there's definitely lots of people who don't like it and have been unhappy about it and so because of that we thought we would bring you a little surprise it's our way of saying thank you for letting us have our fun at your expense thank you for your postcard writing campaign thank you for being on the local news thank you for driving in from Reno and from fucking Turlock and wherever else, every other city that we've named tonight.

[1496] Thank you for being supportive.

[1497] We love you, too, and here's our way of proving it.

[1498] Ladies and gentlemen, Paul Holes.

[1499] I know.

[1500] So, yeah, we wanted to, we flew him in.

[1501] We had to hide him all day.

[1502] We had a fake mustache on, right?

[1503] We were scared you'd get recognized at the airport.

[1504] Oh, God, I'm nervous.

[1505] I know.

[1506] He's really nerve -wracking.

[1507] Absolutely.

[1508] So we were, yeah, welcome.

[1509] Thank you very much.

[1510] Now, listen, you're there Bono, you know.

[1511] You're a true rock star to these people who love true crime so much.

[1512] Oh, no. I actually lived in Vaccaville.

[1513] Never before has anyone cheered for Vaccoville.

[1514] That's probably true.

[1515] Now, we thought it would be kind of fun if we asked you what your hometown murder.

[1516] So what got me involved in true crime?

[1517] Yeah.

[1518] We just want to hear you talk about stuff and like whatever you feel like talking about would be cool or whatever.

[1519] So I'm probably going to date myself a little bit, but what actually got me involved in true crime is an old TV show called Quintosh.

[1520] right you know so I I grew up and I went to college thinking I was going to become a forensic pathologist so I thought I was going to go to med school and use medicine and science to solve crimes come on harassment that's don't objectify him we like your mind Paul we like your mind I'm okay with him You know, but my grades in college weren't very good.

[1521] You were great.

[1522] The end of our.

[1523] Well, there we go, right?

[1524] Right?

[1525] You know, and then eventually, you know, I did graduate at least, and I found out about this field called criminalistics, which back in 1990 was a brand new field.

[1526] And I thought, that sounds cool because I could do crime scene investigation, I could do the scientific work, and I could try to solve crimes that way.

[1527] You don't have to be in, like, a morgue all day.

[1528] No, you know, and thank God I didn't go that direction, because I've been in the morgue a lot, and that is not very fun.

[1529] I would be going nuts if I was in the morgue every single day.

[1530] It smells, right?

[1531] It smells, yes.

[1532] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1533] Do you remember your first crime scene?

[1534] Do you remember your first crime scene?

[1535] You know, I do remember my first crime scene.

[1536] And sort of the backstory is, is when I first started, I was a drug analyst.

[1537] And we were getting what we call bunk dope, fake dope that people were selling on the streets to make money.

[1538] And this is how you get yourself killed.

[1539] And what I was seeing is, was this combination of this wax with a detergent.

[1540] Well, the detergent caused a false.

[1541] presumptive test for cocaine.

[1542] So when somebody on the street was testing it saying, oh, it looks good, and then they would pay money, and then they'd walk away with this fake dope.

[1543] Well, then I go out to my first homicide scene, and it's in this very, it's an unincorporated area in Contra Costa County called North Richmond.

[1544] Really?

[1545] Come on.

[1546] Drug dealers.

[1547] and in the mid -90s this is an extraordinarily violent region in Contra Costa County and I'm going out to this homicide scene and the victim had been transported so his body was gone but where he had been killed was right outside this mobile home in the backyard in North Richmond and half of his brain was actually laying on the path.

[1548] Ew.

[1549] But then I went inside the mobile home and up on the stovetop was a pot full of wax and detergent.

[1550] He was the one that was cooking the bunk dope and the street has a way to set itself straight.

[1551] And they went and they killed him.

[1552] Shit.

[1553] And so the next day I was the morgue and I'm looking at the guy that I had seen you know through his product with the bunk dope and there he is laying on the gurney and that's the day you stopped doing dope I swore off dope at that point thank God finally that's right that's right what I feel like we really want to talk about the Golden State killer quite a bit I know that you've talked about it a lot so we don't want to like do all the usual but like do you have a specific like memory or a you have a story maybe you haven't been able to tell on any of these channels that you won't tell anyone we will not phones down cameras down secret time or or just something like just a weird interesting um do you think about like does it still hit you that that you guys caught them all of you guys yeah and you're calling each other on like a phone tree and are like, you guys, this is bananas.

[1554] Yeah.

[1555] I did it.

[1556] You know, there is still that aspect going on where it's like, we finally solved this case.

[1557] You know, because it's been, it was so, you know, I spent 24 years, you know, on that case.

[1558] And then the team.

[1559] Yeah.

[1560] Amazing.

[1561] The team, you know, we had a task force and these are.

[1562] great investigators across the state and then we had a team that helped with the genealogy aspect and going into that you know we we had optimism but we had no idea you know that it was actually going to work and it really wasn't until i got that initial phone call where it was like paul you can't tell anybody about this you know that that the DNA was was matching up that it was like, you know, after 24 years, it was a huge, oh my God, you know, finally figuring out that we got to that point.

[1563] You know, in terms of the untold stories of the Golden State Killer, there are so many.

[1564] Each of us investigators have invested so much time of our lives in that case that we all have different stories.

[1565] I know for me, you know, it was just the frustration of constantly finding somebody that I thought was the guy.

[1566] And in some instances, I would spend, like the first guy that I was like, this is the guy.

[1567] I spent two years trying to find him, two years of my life going, I've got him, only to finally find him, and then eliminate him with DNA.

[1568] And it's like, I just wasted two years of my life.

[1569] And then I get on to a next guy.

[1570] And I spend a year investigating this guy trying to get his DNA.

[1571] And then he's not the guy.

[1572] Did you ever, like, give up for a little while?

[1573] Oh, yeah.

[1574] You know, it's one of those things.

[1575] You know, you get to where, oh, my God, I just spent all this time, and it's not the guy, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

[1576] Yeah.

[1577] You know, and you push away.

[1578] You know, and that's where you uncork that bottle of wine.

[1579] And I would just drown myself in my sorrows thinking, you know, I'm just, I'm, I don't know what I'm doing on this.

[1580] I'm fooling myself.

[1581] You know, I need just to move on to other cases that I've got.

[1582] Thank you.

[1583] Don't talk while Paul Holes is talking.

[1584] Good.

[1585] He's talking.

[1586] 24 years of that, yeah.

[1587] Come on.

[1588] I think a good question is, who's going to play you in the movie version of the light?

[1589] You know, since it's just been a crazy experience.

[1590] Just the timing.

[1591] I retired.

[1592] Technically, I retired at the end of March.

[1593] but because I ended up being on this Megan Kelly show on the Golden State Killer with Jane Carson and Debbie Domingo.

[1594] We're not talking about her tonight.

[1595] Let's just pretend it's a different show.

[1596] I know.

[1597] It's kind of a touchy's topic right now.

[1598] Not the best at all.

[1599] Say it was Oprah.

[1600] Let's say it was Oprah.

[1601] It was Oprah's show.

[1602] It's a better story.

[1603] So I ended up taking some vacation so I could get out.

[1604] out to New York so I could support the two victims in the Golden State Killer case.

[1605] But I had been at this guy's house, this Joseph D 'Angelo's house the day before.

[1606] And so now I'm, you know, on TV, a nationwide audience, you know, talking about this unsolved case going, maybe, you know, I know who this guy is.

[1607] So, but since that time, you know, with the three weeks after retirement and then we ultimately proved that he was the Golden State Killer with DNA direct DNA samples that were collected from him.

[1608] It's just been a surreal experience and my life has just been just like this just craziness.

[1609] We get it.

[1610] Pretty crazy.

[1611] That's amazing.

[1612] Very strange.

[1613] Do you have anything that you want to plug or things that are coming up that you want to tell these guys first?

[1614] Well you know I I, as I tell, I'm just a retired county employee.

[1615] You know, but I do have some things that are coming up.

[1616] You know, I signed a contract with oxygen.

[1617] I got several projects going on with oxygen.

[1618] And we get 15 % of that?

[1619] We can talk about that, absolutely.

[1620] Let's talk about it backstage.

[1621] As well as Audible has decided to, do a podcast, which is going to primarily focus on sort of my story that has never been told.

[1622] You know, sort of my frustrations, my adventure as I was trying to move through this case.

[1623] And so that is going to come out November 15th.

[1624] Cool.

[1625] Very cool.

[1626] can we suggest that Paul Giamatti plays you just putting it out there he can do it all just a thought I'm open to anything right now and then just like what kind of bands do you like what's your favorite sandwich tell them about you as a person so music that I listen to come on What's your like, you're trying to get pumped to solve a really old crime or go jogging or whatever.

[1627] What's that fan that you put on?

[1628] Oh, my.

[1629] So if I'm working out, if I'm running, if I'm lifting, it's got to be the hard rock.

[1630] You know, today, you know, it's disturbed.

[1631] It's godsmacked.

[1632] What?

[1633] Slip knot?

[1634] Do you like slip knot?

[1635] You know, no. Okay, all right.

[1636] However, I've listened to this Corey Taylor who actually has amazing talent.

[1637] You know, and for me, music has to be melodic.

[1638] I'm not into that bum, blah, blah, blah, it's got to be melodic.

[1639] But what about masks?

[1640] Because they have great masks.

[1641] Yeah, but I have a concern about people who hide behind masks.

[1642] Very good point.

[1643] You guys.

[1644] Good one.

[1645] Cool.

[1646] Well, thanks for coming out to Sacramento for us.

[1647] Can you help us please make Sacramento like us, please?

[1648] We're even now, right?

[1649] You know, you're talking about, like, your life changing so much.

[1650] And, like, when we started this podcast, like, Golden State Killer was the first, one of the first stories we covered.

[1651] It's been in our minds, obviously, in your guys' minds being from up here.

[1652] for so long it's like this crazy cloud and this kind of like creepy thing that's just been hiding in the background so it's the idea that that not only that it got solved but then that the person that solved it we get to like talk to and email it is so awesome it's just so cool it really is well you know i i think it's cool because you know during the the last year the case was getting a lot of media attention and one of the the shows was aired that I was on and the producer of that show called me saying hey there's this podcast it's called my favorite murders and they're talking about you you might want to listen to it no don't do that yeah oh god but but aren't these two amazing women right here.

[1653] How do I look?

[1654] How do I make that?

[1655] Huh?

[1656] Did I have anything on my face?

[1657] You're good.

[1658] Do I look weird?

[1659] No, you're good.

[1660] Holy shit.

[1661] Sacramento.

[1662] It has been so hard to keep that a secret from you guys.

[1663] But thank you guys for giving us the benefit of the doubt that we didn't even have a present for you and you're still here and nice to us.

[1664] So thank you for supporting, like supporting the shit out of us.

[1665] Yes.

[1666] Yeah.

[1667] Yeah, we are thrilled that you guys demanded that we come in spite of everything.

[1668] And we are thrilled to be here with you, and we are so grateful for this situation that basically you guys have put us in.

[1669] We are having truly the time of our lives doing this thing where we get to talk about this thing we've all been fascinated by for years in secret, thinking that nobody else will understand.

[1670] else will like us if we talk about it and now suddenly we all get to fucking fly our flag as much as we want to and it's the best feeling and it's a great feeling to see you guys all find each other and become friends and start these meetups and like we it's just it's fucking crazy it's crazy that we get to have polo holes and the people who do this kind of thing like talk to us yeah instead of going you guys are weird it's like amazing we're so lucky I can't believe this is our life.

[1671] Yes.

[1672] So thank you.

[1673] Thank you for giving that to us.

[1674] We're genuinely so grateful.

[1675] We'll do our best, not to embarrass you.

[1676] I'm just so glad it got so much better since I moved out of Sacramento.

[1677] Thank you, Sacramento.

[1678] We love you dearly, honestly.

[1679] Stay sexy.

[1680] And go.

[1681] Bye, you guys.

[1682] Hi.

[1683] Hello.

[1684] It's Georgia and Karen.

[1685] And we are excited to tell you that we are launching our new podcast.

[1686] network, exactly right.

[1687] Yes, we're very excited to tell you guys about it.

[1688] We've chosen a bunch of shows specifically with murderinos in mind, and we can't wait for you guys to hear them.

[1689] There's going to be more true crime.

[1690] There's going to be comedy.

[1691] There's going to be cat stuff and more, and a lot of very, very special hosts.

[1692] Very special hosts.

[1693] And then at the end of this month, we are going to announce the details of these, the first slate of shows for Exactly Right.

[1694] Yeah, so stay tuned for that.

[1695] And in the meantime, you can start following Exactly Right on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

[1696] And please sign up for the newsletter at Exactly RightMedia .com.

[1697] You guys, we're becoming podcasting.

[1698] Mogals, join us.

[1699] Oh, my God, it's exciting.

[1700] We're so excited.

[1701] Goodbye.

[1702] Stay sexy.

[1703] Don't get murdered.

[1704] Bye, bye.