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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Oh, shit.
[17] You know, you do it.
[18] Hi, welcome to my favorite murder.
[19] of minisode.
[20] That's Karen Kilgaref.
[21] I'm Georgia Hardstark.
[22] We're reading you your emails that you sent us.
[23] Oh, the whole fucking thing.
[24] Oh, you didn't want me to...
[25] Okay.
[26] Hi.
[27] I am Georgia.
[28] Hardstark.
[29] You are Karen.
[30] Kilgarif.
[31] Let's do it the whole time.
[32] Together.
[33] We are...
[34] Annoying.
[35] My favorite.
[36] Annoying the shit out of you.
[37] I was like, what are we together?
[38] Oh, my favorite.
[39] Right.
[40] My favorite.
[41] horrible beginning beep boopop let's start over let's just start fresh here let's start the podcast over the whole run the whole run fuck let's just go to the beginning we'll do the exact same murders every episode book reports no none because we're going to do the exact same ones oh we're going to read the exact same hometowns everything's going to be the same just almost like a reenactment yeah I love it let's start and ooh what's this a microphone this is when we're learning turning what a microphone is oh my voice it sounds high now it sounds low oh my god this is like an answering machine okay let's do this this is my favorite mother they said do you want to go first or you want me to go first uh you want me to uh you want me to uh wait do i have a good ending one do you have a good no do you uh i have something that lands last the last the last line is funny okay good so i will start then yeah my right one two yeah is that good okay my the subject line is my uncle is escaped from prison and murdered a cop and there's a movie about it.
[42] Holy shit.
[43] Are you ready?
[44] Hi.
[45] Insert obligatory fan girl stuff here.
[46] Fully respect that.
[47] My fiance and I are going to your show in St. Louis in December and we love you, et cetera, et cetera.
[48] My hometown murder is my grandmother's brother, so my great uncle.
[49] These took place in both Maryland and Louisiana.
[50] His name is Wayne Robert Feld, pronounced Feldy.
[51] I couldn't know.
[52] until I got to that part of the parentheses.
[53] F -E -L -D -E.
[54] F -E -L -D -E.
[55] F -L -D -E.
[56] Okay.
[57] Okay.
[58] I get why you're laughing now.
[59] I pronounced it incorrectly and then a moment later correctly.
[60] No, that's part of the letter.
[61] You have to read it or you would be incorrect.
[62] Yeah.
[63] That was my experience real time.
[64] Yeah.
[65] Live it, learn it.
[66] That's our thing.
[67] Thank you.
[68] Right.
[69] I'll never pronounce it incorrectly again.
[70] So, Robert Wayne Feldy fought in the Vietnam War for two years where his job was to unload the dead bodies of fallen soldiers from the helicopters that retrieved them.
[71] You fucked up for life.
[72] They made them do this too.
[73] Yeah, that's right.
[74] I guess I can understand how that fucks you up a little.
[75] In 1972, Feldy shot and killed a co -worker in a bar fight.
[76] When the police came, Feldy got into a standoff with the police and started firing at them.
[77] He finally surrendered to his mom, my great grandma.
[78] She fucking came down and was like, feltie in the in the house dress put that down down right now god damn it in a house dress that i now own yeah that's right he was convicted of first degree murder and sent to a maryland prison in 1973 three years later in 1976 he applied for parole but was denied so he escaped from prison he was on the run for two years he went to louisiana where his mom my great grandma was dying of cancer and he was arrested again while being transported in a police car feldie pulled out a concealed firearm shot the officer in the groin and killed him during the trial feldie begged the jury to sentence sentence him to death so he wouldn't kill again oh my god saying it's happened twice in eight years wow he died by electric chair in 1988 in angola prison in louisiana that place is supposed to be the worst.
[79] Really?
[80] Angola?
[81] Yeah.
[82] His last words were, you can call the messenger, but you can't kill the message.
[83] What?
[84] You can kill the messenger is probably what she meant to write.
[85] I think so, because it's clearly C -A -L -O.
[86] No, I'm not saying you did it or anything wrong.
[87] I'm very defensive about that.
[88] No, no. Yeah, that would make more sense.
[89] His last words were, you can kill the messenger, but you can't kill the message.
[90] Oh.
[91] Fucking true.
[92] That's creepy.
[93] It's very true.
[94] My parents, never told me about this until one day my dad mentioned the movie made based on this story.
[95] The shitty movie is called Beyond the Call.
[96] It stars Sissy Spaceic and David Strait Thurn.
[97] Don't say it's shitty with those two superstars.
[98] No wonder I never really like that side of the family.
[99] SSDGM Jordan.
[100] That's hilarious.
[101] Oh my God.
[102] That's fucked up.
[103] Yeah.
[104] Okay.
[105] This one is called my cannibalistic aunt.
[106] Uh -oh.
[107] With an exclamation mark.
[108] Shit.
[109] Hey there, Karen.
[110] Surprise.
[111] Just you're surprised.
[112] Genuinely surprised.
[113] Hey there, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and Animals.
[114] My name is Erica, and I'm from one of those super crazy families where the self -proclaimed, quote, normal ones, sit around during Christmas or some other festive activity and nonchalantly tell stories about the not -so -normal ones.
[115] A few years back, a couple of my family members and I sat around my grandma's celebration of life, only to have a very interesting discussion.
[116] While sipping juice from colorful bendy straws, my great aunt brings up the fact that my aunt, her name is Nikki, ate my cousin's organs.
[117] What?
[118] It turns out that when my cousin died 20 years ago from alcohol poisoning, Aunt Nikki had requested to keep his organs for quote, religious purposes.
[119] This was before the law passed that made it so you can't request organs.
[120] And she is in no way a religious person.
[121] What?
[122] Sorry.
[123] Yeah, yes.
[124] I'm just trying to wrap my head around.
[125] Like, for religious purposes.
[126] So then I bet you that the authorities are assuming this is some strange religion.
[127] We don't really know that well.
[128] Just to bury them somewhere.
[129] But here, of course you can have your, we're not going to use them.
[130] Yeah, we don't want them.
[131] We don't want to keep you from the thing you want.
[132] Totally.
[133] It's yours.
[134] Oe.
[135] But no. Okay.
[136] Nikki then thought it would be a wonderful idea to store her diseased son's organs in her everyday freezer for years to come.
[137] There's a lot of exclamation marks in this story.
[138] Yeah, I bet.
[139] Underline.
[140] the fact that it's insane.
[141] Fast forward, 15 years, she lost her home and ended up moving in with my grandma.
[142] One of my grandma's, quote, rules had been that she didn't want the organs of her grandchild in her freezer.
[143] Reasonable request, I'd say.
[144] Yeah.
[145] So grandma went out and bought her a tree to plant her son under.
[146] When my aunt headed out to plant all the organs out under the tree, she requested to go alone so she could have one last moment with her son for closure.
[147] My grandma began, My grandma, being the wonderful woman that she was, understood and went inside.
[148] Two hours later, Nikki came back into the home.
[149] Her face covered in blood.
[150] No, I can't.
[151] I can't do this with you, Nikki.
[152] She then announced that her son was one with her now and proceeded to vomit profusely into the bathroom toilet.
[153] Yeah, I bet she did.
[154] Oh, my God.
[155] Not one with you anymore.
[156] No. No. Well, perhaps slight remainder.
[157] Some part.
[158] Yeah, maybe a little bit.
[159] Now I believe that those guns.
[160] went to her brain because a few months later, my grandma started to experience a lot of random illnesses such as vomiting and fever.
[161] She did, unfortunately, end up having a stroke on the floor of their home.
[162] My aunt Nikki did call the police, but refused to let EMS into their home for three hours.
[163] By that time, my grandma had passed and no one questioned a thing.
[164] Still to this day, I believe that Crazy Nikki had done something to my grandma.
[165] By the non -murderinos, but the non -murterinos of my family chalked up to old age.
[166] I guess we'll never know.
[167] Needless to see, say she isn't invited to family functions anymore.
[168] Anywho, thanks for what you do.
[169] Stay sexy and stay away from cannibalistic family members, love Erica from Seattle, Washington.
[170] Fuck.
[171] Doesn't this come out the weekend of the week of Thanksgiving?
[172] Oh.
[173] Great.
[174] So here's what we're going to request.
[175] Aunt Nikki.
[176] You bring a casserole.
[177] Just something simple.
[178] Storebot.
[179] Can we ask that aunt?
[180] Niki sealed storebought.
[181] I want everyone.
[182] sitting around their fucking family tables just to pry.
[183] I want you to pry because I guarantee there's some story that you haven't heard that no one just has thought of telling, but be subtle.
[184] That's right.
[185] And also, as the years go by, the stories become easier to tell.
[186] Right.
[187] Because people, you know, I don't know, people die and it all lightens up a little bit and they can go, you know, oh, that's true.
[188] Well, here's the thing.
[189] Because, like, that's, you know, I think I told you this on the show.
[190] But for years, I just knew that my grandpa, my mom.
[191] mom's father died before when my mom was like 19 or 20 before I was born later on and it was almost like almost conversationally accidentally my dad told me that he didn't just die he was stabbed in a bar fight in an alley outside of a bar oh my god because he was like a lifelong hardcore alcoholic that fucked up their family over and over a ton of times and then essentially was murdered in a bar fight.
[192] Jesus Christ.
[193] And you just leave that out of the conversation.
[194] Well, that was that thing where the Irish Catholics are very good at like you, everything gets left out of the conversation unless you're in the inner circle.
[195] And then you know, you either know nothing or you know everything.
[196] Right.
[197] Think of a way to pry this story out of someone.
[198] Yeah, you got to, because that's really the stuff of life.
[199] That's really.
[200] Yeah.
[201] And they'll be able to tell you.
[202] But that story is especially crazy because not only does she know that the crazy aunt was cannibalistic with her son's organs but then she also suspects that she killed her grandmother yeah like that that is one of those stories that it's just like well no wonder no one tells that one because it's a little bit it's fucked up especially beyond the pale it's beyond that's gonna that's gonna you have to make sure that the story yeah Thanksgiving dinner story isn't gonna stop everybody short ruined the pie and then make everybody leave in quiet.
[203] Yeah.
[204] You want to kind of keep it light and bubbly.
[205] Yeah.
[206] Okay.
[207] We're still at a family party.
[208] We're figuring it out still with you guys.
[209] But I feel like we're going to get an influx of hometown murders on the Friday after Thanksgiving.
[210] I love it.
[211] Well, also because I think everybody has to figure it out your own way.
[212] But I mean, it's not like we're against hearing a story like this.
[213] Fascinating and amazing.
[214] No, never.
[215] You said, that's horrible.
[216] I hate it.
[217] So I never stop.
[218] because I didn't think you'd well also because that like that woman well snap snapped but but also those organs were not new the thought of 15 years and then her mom knew about it was just like just don't bring up here like that's how normal it was for everyone yes ever you know and that's how not dealing with the actual deal she was where she just went into this whole thing about a thing that has nothing to do with him anymore your organs that's like keeping someone's fingernail clippings it It's just of no...
[219] I mean, you're just assigning the meaning to it.
[220] Oh, man. And it's sweet that her mom is even like, I'm going to let you bury them here under this tree.
[221] Right.
[222] Like, that's so sweet.
[223] Yes, it is.
[224] And thought and, like, patient.
[225] And then she comes in with blood around her mouth.
[226] He's one with me now and then starts vomiting.
[227] Oh, shit.
[228] Oh, my God.
[229] I mean, at least cook them.
[230] All right, read.
[231] Okay.
[232] Read to me. This section.
[233] this subject line is the tale of the mini disco ball hi karen georgia stephen and all the furry creatures i have a mystery that well i don't want to give it away so almost a year ago my husband and i were driving from new york city to southern vermont to meet up with some pals for our annual middle -aged creaky folks go skiing trip and wouldn't you know it snowed for about five or six hours of our trip not a problem for our good in the snow car until this trip the last hour was a true white knuckle drive as we started to gain elevation and had to negotiate the mountains I know it's New England so they're mountains in quotes with what was now a delightful mix of sleet and some other frozen crap hell no yeah that's crazy we were sliding around and the bounds of our relationship were momentarily tested I get it I offered some pretty pithy's unsolicited advice through gritted teeth along the lines of could you maybe drive slower, which was neither good advice, I admit, nor well received, he admits.
[234] We made it though and stopped in town for a well -earned beverage to calm ourselves before checking in.
[235] When we got back into the car, there was a mini disco ball hanging from the rearview mirror.
[236] What?
[237] Months earlier, we had somehow ended up with a mini disco ball in the car, as one does, and hung it from the rearview mirror as a gag, but we both agreed to banish it to the glove box as it was way too distracting.
[238] It did, though, remind me of my late mom who, prim, proper, and waspy as hell used to listen to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack to get psyched up for work much to my then -12 -year -old's great eye -rolling mortification.
[239] When did you put this back up?
[240] I asked my husband.
[241] I didn't, he replied.
[242] No, you did.
[243] How else would it get there?
[244] I said.
[245] I started to get genuinely angry.
[246] Come on, don't mess with me. I'm really not.
[247] but then I realized how dumb that sounded as he's a rock of a guy that would never do that to anyone, not a joke or he also always locks the car up plus we both reasoned who would break into a car just to hang a mini disco ball from the glove box.
[248] Very true.
[249] We both immediately thought the same thing.
[250] Mom put it there to say glad you made it, have fun, always be yourself.
[251] My hubby is a wicked, sciency guy with a romantic streak.
[252] parentheses dreamy, right?
[253] Yes.
[254] Who does not believe in ghosts.
[255] He does, however, believe that there very well could be a parallel universe that sometimes, oh, could be parallel universes that sometimes intersect.
[256] Aw.
[257] Okay, I'm not the science you one.
[258] I'm the part -time poet.
[259] So we agreed to be amazed that somehow the mini disco ball ended up hanging from the rearview mirror again because, well, Mom.
[260] SSDGM, thanks for the podcast, now and forever wholeheartedly embracing her inner BG, Beth.
[261] Cute.
[262] Well, now I'm going to cry.
[263] We should have saved that one for the last one.
[264] That's sweet.
[265] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[266] Absolutely.
[267] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[268] Exactly.
[269] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[270] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[271] That's right.
[272] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere.
[273] Online, in -store.
[274] on social media and beyond.
[275] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[276] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[277] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[278] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[279] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.
[280] Connect with customers inline and online.
[281] Do retail right with Shopify.
[282] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[283] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[284] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[285] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[286] Goodbye.
[287] Hey, this is exciting.
[288] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[289] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[290] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone, who killed Saz?
[291] And were they really after Charles?
[292] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[293] This season, murder hits close to home.
[294] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[295] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[296] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[297] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[298] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[299] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[300] Goodbye.
[301] All right.
[302] My near -death experience and Twin Peaks, IRL.
[303] Oh, okay.
[304] What's your, like, talisman that if you saw, I would make you think of your mom?
[305] A pack of Benson and Hedges Lights 100s, soft pack, with kind of a rust -colored, glistney, rust -colored lipstick.
[306] Oh, my God.
[307] Do we have a lady bick on hand, too?
[308] Can I get a lady?
[309] No, matches, matches.
[310] Matches.
[311] Always matches.
[312] Fuck, yeah, matches.
[313] That's why I love that fucking sulfur smell.
[314] I have a very distinct, like, early childhood memory of my mom pulling up to a gas station.
[315] It was full service.
[316] So she's like, Ethel, you know, like, fucking, can I have $5 of Ethel?
[317] Rolls the window up and lights a cigarette.
[318] Add a gas station.
[319] And then just like, anyway, we have to go.
[320] And no one says otherwise.
[321] No. Everyone's like, great.
[322] Well, it was just me in the car.
[323] And nobody was like, in the gas station.
[324] Oh, hell no. No, that was back when it was like, you could slap other people's children, not just your own.
[325] So sliding up in front of a kid was like, minor, no big deal.
[326] They didn't know it was bad for you.
[327] Oh, man. Yes, they did.
[328] I don't buy that.
[329] They didn't care.
[330] Cats didn't mean as much back then.
[331] Yeah, that's right.
[332] Because we're a dime a dozen.
[333] They weren't as easy to market to, so nobody knew how much money.
[334] they could make everybody.
[335] Right.
[336] So no one cared about them.
[337] Okay.
[338] My near -death experience and Twin Peaks IRL.
[339] Hi, Georgia, Karen, Steven, and furry company, furry co. Okay.
[340] I'm from Albany, New York, and I once almost got my head chopped off with a weed whacker as a child.
[341] I was writing my speaking of.
[342] First of all, weed whackers don't have blades.
[343] They have little pieces of plastic.
[344] Yeah, but they go so fast.
[345] They go, and you're a child.
[346] And you're a child.
[347] And your child.
[348] I was riding my bike and a clueless groundskeeper at my middle school swung the week.
[349] whack her around as I rode by I happened to duck just in time before I ended up decapitated anyway I recently did some internet sleuthing and I found out that the series twin peaks is loosely I think that she just added that paragraph just a fun story of like almost getting her head chopped on here's what happened when you were a kid okay anyway I recently did some sluizing found out that the series twin peaks is loosely based off a real unsolved murder of a girl named hazel drew this happened in July of 1908 in the town of sand lake New York a rural town 10 minutes away from Albany.
[350] Apparently, Mark Frost, the co -creator of Twin Peaks, used to vacation nearby as a child.
[351] Ooh.
[352] I've attached a photo to show how crazy similar Laura Palmer looks to Hazel Drew.
[353] Wow.
[354] 20 -year -old Hazel Drew was last seen picking raspberries on the side of the road on July 7th, 1908.
[355] She was found four days later nearby in Teal Pond.
[356] She had died of blunt force trauma to the back of her head, suggesting she had in fact been murdered.
[357] After Drew's body was found, a slew of suspects came into play.
[358] Initially, it was thought that she did not have any gentleman collars, but upon inspecting her trunk at home, they found notes and postcards from various men similar to Laura Palmer's journal.
[359] Drew's mother seemed to think a man with hypnotic powers lured her daughter away to be murdered.
[360] Others gossiped about a campsite orgy similar to the last place Laura Palmer was known to be alive.
[361] Unfortunately, we still don't know who killed Hazel Drew.
[362] Hope you guys found this as interesting as I did.
[363] podcast gets me through.
[364] My evening runs when I am being a terrible murderino running alone in the dark with headphones in.
[365] Oh, please.
[366] Come on.
[367] Damn it.
[368] P .S., George's recent story, this is what made me laugh.
[369] George's recent story of the Morehouse murders where the Bernies made Katie Moore, Katie Moyer dance for them to the dire straits, to dire straits.
[370] Yeah.
[371] Well, stick with me forever as I am walking down the aisle to Romeo and Juliet next June.
[372] Can't wait to think about murder on my wedding day.
[373] S .S .D .G .M. Marissa.
[374] You got to change that song, honey.
[375] That's hilarious.
[376] Sorry about that one.
[377] Yeah, that changes it a little bit.
[378] Okay, I just have to say that the beginning of the original series of Twin Peaks, when it is the girl walking down the railroad tracks in the nightgown, like all ruined, is one of the freakiest and most amazing beginnings.
[379] beginnings of a story where you're like what happened to her what I need to know you know like starting there everything about it seeing Laura Palmer's body yeah when I was wrapped in plastic and the coloring and the and the and the like sand yeah grit that and like that in that location of this beautiful creepy wilderness yes I totally until I just read that I forgot how much that affected me as a kid it's so and also just that they go into it I I wish it It was more, like, it's hard to go into story -wise that thing of, like, that the forest is an entity.
[380] Yeah.
[381] And it is up there.
[382] It's so dense and people live in it and there's all kinds of shit going on.
[383] And anything could happen.
[384] Anything could happen up in there.
[385] It's fascinating.
[386] Totally.
[387] It's such a, yeah, that's amazing.
[388] And I didn't know it was based on a true story.
[389] I didn't.
[390] I think I had read that and tried to do it as in one of my murders, but there's just not a lot of information on it.
[391] So I'm glad she brought that in because it's still so interesting.
[392] It's so interesting.
[393] And also, 08, or it's just like...
[394] 1908, yeah.
[395] You could kind of just hit someone in the back of the head, kill them, walk away, start over.
[396] Whatever now.
[397] And the hypnotic part.
[398] Yes.
[399] Which also reminds me of Terry Hoff in that story I just did where she was read.
[400] It started as a meditation group.
[401] Yeah.
[402] And slowly turned into a cult where she was getting people to kill themselves.
[403] Totally.
[404] Like that idea of using hypnosis.
[405] yeah for evil is fascinating yeah yeah definitely okay um send your um send your um hometowns to my favorite murder at gmail and have a good thanksgiving you guys and that get that info from your fucking families yeah please we want all recon um great letters this week yeah this is so crazy uh and stay sexy and don't get murdered bye bye elvis quit eating daddy's food want cookie