Kelly Clarkson

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.

[1] I'm Dax Randall Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by Monica Lily Padman.

[3] Good morning to you.

[4] Good morning.

[5] We have one of the great singers of our lifetime.

[6] Oh, my God.

[7] She's unreal.

[8] Powerhouse.

[9] Kelly Clarkson, she is a Grammy Award winning singer and Emmy Award winning talk show host.

[10] She has many great albums, but she has a new one out right now called Chemistry.

[11] which has a cool origin of why she made the album.

[12] The album's tracking every single moment in the, what do we call it?

[13] The Star Cross Lovers, the endorphins, the hive, that ride you take.

[14] Yes, yes, yes.

[15] In case everyone forgot, because I do think it's easy to forget.

[16] Because we all know she's great, but you forget.

[17] And then the other day, which was Sort of Sim, a song of hers.

[18] This has happened to me two or three times since we interviewed her as well.

[19] Oh, my God.

[20] Where I'm like, oh, God, that's right.

[21] She's a...

[22] I want to play a little bit.

[23] Okay.

[24] Unbelievable.

[25] Her voice.

[26] What a voice.

[27] What a voice.

[28] Oh, so, so good.

[29] And she can let a rip.

[30] She can belt it out.

[31] You're going to love this.

[32] She's so fun, down to earth and cool.

[33] Please enjoy Kelly Clarkson.

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[38] Where are you coming from?

[39] I just got back from my ranch.

[40] I live sometimes in Montana when I can get there.

[41] Okay.

[42] Yeah, because I heard you are going Nashville.

[43] In fact, on your lake.

[44] That's what she just said.

[45] So why did you sell that place?

[46] We had to kind of pick because of the talk show, not the voice so much.

[47] It didn't make sense to keep it, and so we had to move.

[48] It was kind of a huge house.

[49] We didn't need that big of a house.

[50] It was a big house.

[51] Yeah, but the only thing we got it, it's such an incredible deal, because unfortunately the person went under.

[52] Okay, wonderful.

[53] This is Monica.

[54] Hi, Monica.

[55] Hi, Monica.

[56] I know, nice to see you.

[57] Yeah.

[58] So how many years did you have that house?

[59] Because I got to tell you our experience with this, which was we bought kind of blindly.

[60] we saw a lot we like the lake looked nice from where we were at but then yeah i was like this lake might be terrible we went out on a boat got a tour from a great dude tony that lives down there and we saw johnny cash's burnt down house yep i've done that tour right yeah because every time you get a place everybody's like here's johnny cash's burned down house yes and i don't it worked for me i was like oh my god that's so cool it would have to be a complete turd of a lake for me not to be into it because i just love water me too like and i love lakes more than oceans because sharks aren't in it Also, you wake up in the morning and the water's flat and glass line.

[61] It's so beautiful.

[62] Yeah, we'd kayak on it.

[63] We only got to do that a few times because, you know, when we moved into that house, we got married and, like, had kids right away.

[64] All the fun things you do when you're in love and don't have children.

[65] You know, it's like, we didn't really have that time because he also had two older kids.

[66] So we did a few things that were, like, fun there.

[67] But I'm going to find out the name of it.

[68] The coolest thing to do in Nashville, though, isn't even right there.

[69] It's like an hour away.

[70] They drive you up.

[71] You get on the boat and you just float down a river.

[72] And it's, It's so peaceful.

[73] On a canoe or a tube?

[74] I think you could do whatever you want, but they do kayaks.

[75] But it's so fun.

[76] And your car is down where you bring the boat out.

[77] Yeah.

[78] There's some really cool stuff.

[79] Would you go out on the lake a lot?

[80] My ex loves toys.

[81] And I do too.

[82] So I can't throw them under the bus.

[83] I'm more of a jet ski person.

[84] I was one of jet skis and he liked wave runner boat, that kind of stuff.

[85] Okay.

[86] Did you buy the place after the 2008 collapse?

[87] Yes, that's why we got in the short sale.

[88] Yeah.

[89] And then you sold it and you did wonderful.

[90] You made a bunch of money, I imagine?

[91] We made money on it.

[92] think, but here's the thing that happens with me. We thought it would be our forever home.

[93] Yes, of course.

[94] And we had a farm out in Gallatin, which is like 50 minutes away from the house.

[95] I have the same plan.

[96] So, okay, so we had a farm, little orchard chickens.

[97] We have all the thing there.

[98] And then we had the lake house.

[99] And he had older kids, was married before, so we had to stay there.

[100] So we knew it was going to be kind of our forever home, right?

[101] And so we spent so much money.

[102] Remodeling it.

[103] Yes.

[104] And making it perfect.

[105] Yeah.

[106] It looked perfect when we pulled up on the boat.

[107] It should look nice.

[108] It's all white.

[109] It cost a pretty.

[110] It was a lot of money on that.

[111] And I kept telling my business managers.

[112] I was like, but it's our forever home.

[113] It's fine.

[114] And now I'm like in Montana at my forever home.

[115] And I'm like, but it's my forever home.

[116] But I'm very low key on my own.

[117] I think when you're with someone, maybe from their experience of life, you just do things bigger than you normally do.

[118] My ranch in Montana, I live in a tiny two bedroom cabin.

[119] You have to go sideways to walk around the bed, kind of.

[120] small.

[121] You're like living in a country album from the 30s.

[122] Yes, but it's wonderful.

[123] I think more intimate is more my vibe because I think that you start learning that the bigger you get, the more shit you have to take care of.

[124] Yes.

[125] Well, the more shit.

[126] Taxing.

[127] Also, people can hide.

[128] Oh, I thought you went like Dateline special.

[129] Like people are jumping out and hiding in your house.

[130] I was like, wait, what?

[131] No, no. I remember watching this great documentary about one of the most legendary.

[132] I forget what dude it was.

[133] He did acid therapy and a lot of people want to be, and I'm one of them.

[134] is his famous, not Clark Gable, not Fred Astaire, but along those lines, I'll remember it as we go.

[135] He said that they kept moving into bigger houses, and he said what he didn't like about him is that everyone was away from each other.

[136] It's just so big that people would be in different corners.

[137] Exactly.

[138] You're kind of now living alone.

[139] Yeah.

[140] I built little one -bedroom cabins like right next to it.

[141] When my family comes, we're all over each other.

[142] But it's kind of cool.

[143] You're on top of each other.

[144] It's only for a little bit because you're on vacation, so it's not for that long.

[145] But it's cool because you all end up watching the same movie.

[146] You all end up playing games.

[147] You all end up talking.

[148] All the memories are shared from the whole experience.

[149] And like that Nashville house that you saw, it was a mini mansion.

[150] It was literally like 22 ,000 square feet.

[151] Yeah, that's enormous.

[152] Like, it's ridiculous.

[153] But we got it for such a great deal.

[154] That you just thought.

[155] And we had to do it.

[156] And it was on the lake.

[157] And we were like, all right.

[158] I was not happy that we were leaving Nashville to come to Los Angeles.

[159] I love things about Los Angeles that are incredible.

[160] Living here is not one of them.

[161] So I've lived here poor.

[162] I've lived here rich.

[163] Okay.

[164] Every kind of way in every part on the beach.

[165] I've lived in the Hills.

[166] I've lived in Beverly Hills.

[167] I've lived in now Studio City.

[168] Toluca Lake.

[169] You've given it the college try.

[170] I have given it the college effort.

[171] Although I haven't, didn't hear Los Felas in there.

[172] Los Felas was one of the places I did want to, but my ex wasn't really interested in that.

[173] So we went in Cino because it was like more family.

[174] But then you spent your whole time in the car.

[175] Driving everywhere.

[176] And I'm like, I don't see my babies.

[177] Like, this is not cool.

[178] I live literally a song away from the studio.

[179] I don't work there anymore.

[180] now because we're moving to New York.

[181] But I moved us to where we were like, you could listen to one song.

[182] Oh, that's so nice.

[183] That doesn't happen here.

[184] No. Well, for me, I walk across my yard.

[185] You screw you.

[186] What you're saying about forever home, I'm renovating a house across the street, actually.

[187] And I just had a meeting yesterday.

[188] And yeah, you're making these huge decisions with the idea that like, well, I'm going to be here forever.

[189] You don't know.

[190] And you don't know.

[191] Yeah.

[192] It's scary.

[193] The one place I do know is Montana.

[194] just because I'll never sell the land, even for my children's purposes.

[195] Also, you just don't know.

[196] But I think people start evaluating whether they're going to stay there forever based on the actual place.

[197] When you're much better off just looking at your own history, if you're someone who's moved your whole life, guess what?

[198] You're probably going to move your whole life.

[199] Yeah.

[200] I don't move.

[201] I hate it.

[202] We move so much as a kid.

[203] I always had a different bedroom.

[204] I couldn't stand it.

[205] I moved when I was a kid, too, but I think I'm with the opposite of you.

[206] So I do love change in general.

[207] I embrace it.

[208] I just think because you only have so much time on this planet and I like to experience things.

[209] Yes, I'm with that.

[210] I have wanderlust, but I need my nest.

[211] I am with you with like roots.

[212] She had a whole, like I was so sad during this horrible divorce of mine.

[213] Pointing to your friend.

[214] Yes, pointing to my manager and she and friend, because I was just really dark, very sad.

[215] And she brought over this giant cardboard thing and drew a match.

[216] She's like, where do you think you'd be?

[217] Because I need roots.

[218] So I get that.

[219] I like to wander.

[220] We just went to Italy last month.

[221] Like, I like going places.

[222] Yeah, yeah.

[223] But I like roots.

[224] And so on this like whole map, I was like, I was a good little vision board thing or whatever.

[225] It made me happy.

[226] And Montana, it's that for me. So tell me what you dislike about L .A. It's not just L .A., but I will say.

[227] It's the people.

[228] No, it's the seasons.

[229] I grew in Texas, and I'm used to four full seasons.

[230] Now, I will say the Valley is very similar to Texas heat.

[231] So that sucks.

[232] I miss rain.

[233] I miss thunderstorms.

[234] We're both from Michigan.

[235] Moni's from Georgia.

[236] So, yes, we all miss seasons and we miss dramatic weather, which is so fun and romantic.

[237] And inspiring.

[238] It is.

[239] It is.

[240] Yeah, yeah.

[241] It's a whole mood.

[242] Were you over a cigarette smoker?

[243] Never smoked.

[244] Same.

[245] Because those thunderstorms are the best time to crack a window and smoke in your car.

[246] Yeah, I've never, well, one, a singer.

[247] Yes, that's the obvious of a singer.

[248] But even when I was a kid, I have an allergy to it as well.

[249] My father smoked, I believe.

[250] I remember something happening.

[251] I was very young.

[252] I had like some kind of like attack with that.

[253] So I don't enjoy the art of that.

[254] Are you a rule follower?

[255] Or were you?

[256] Are we playing a board game?

[257] Yeah.

[258] Are we, okay.

[259] If we're playing a board game, I am annoyingly like, that is not how you play.

[260] Uh -huh, uh -huh.

[261] You're the enforcer.

[262] Yeah, I don't like playing with cheaters.

[263] But in life, I feel like I'm a good, hell.

[264] the mix.

[265] I feel like I'm kind and respectful enough to follow the rules.

[266] But I think that I'm also like, I just want to do it.

[267] So I'm going to do it.

[268] Yeah.

[269] Yeah.

[270] I think you take your moments.

[271] Okay.

[272] Let's go back to Fort Worth.

[273] 1981.

[274] 82.

[275] 82.

[276] You're aging.

[277] You're aging.

[278] It's really accomplished my wife because I was like, I think you guys are the same age.

[279] We are.

[280] I think you're one year younger.

[281] But you're two years younger, I think as it turns out.

[282] She's 80.

[283] And if you're 82.

[284] She's 80.

[285] No, she just feels 80.

[286] No, no. But she doesn't look 80.

[287] Yeah.

[288] So Fort Worth, 1982.

[289] Now, I've spent some time in Fort Worth.

[290] What year?

[291] 92, 93, 94, 95.

[292] Okay.

[293] Those were good years.

[294] I worked for General Motors and we would regularly have truck shows at Billy Bob's.

[295] I've performed to Billy Bob's.

[296] Of course you have.

[297] One of my favorite memories was working at Billy Bob's, then went to a water burger.

[298] Did you go in time when the breakfast take you guys were coming out?

[299] 930 at night.

[300] This is real.

[301] Of the six employees, three were shirtless.

[302] Sure.

[303] Yeah.

[304] Because it's hot as fucking hate.

[305] Katie's inside this water burger.

[306] Yeah, it feels like God's hairdryer.

[307] And when I ordered, I said, I'll have a waterburger, you know, extra mayonnaise, no onions or something.

[308] And the dude over the intercom, he's like, Waterburger, no fucking onions, extra fucking mayonnaise, swearing over the intercom.

[309] And I'm like, this is heaven.

[310] No one's got their shirts on.

[311] They're swearing over the intercom.

[312] It was so memorable.

[313] Well, the thing about Texas, I think it's full of towns.

[314] And I've always been never the bricks, but the sticks.

[315] So I'm from those kind of people.

[316] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[317] Yeah.

[318] It's very low key.

[319] and down to Earth, and then there's the debutante.

[320] Yeah, that whole scene.

[321] The oil money.

[322] The other side.

[323] You're not old enough to have seen Urban Cowboy or have you.

[324] Bud and Sissy.

[325] Yes.

[326] And they were always at Billy Bobbs, I think.

[327] I saw that so long ago.

[328] But a big subplot was like, yeah, all these oil money, rich, fancy women that were trying to lure Bud to them.

[329] It's literally night and day.

[330] You cross the roller tracks because it's a completely different story.

[331] Yeah.

[332] Now, what did your mom and dad do?

[333] I'm not sure what my father did.

[334] I didn't grow up with him.

[335] You were six when they got divorced?

[336] Yeah, and I don't remember.

[337] I don't know how people remember that far back.

[338] I remember, like, certain things, but I don't remember him.

[339] He wasn't in your life at all after that.

[340] No. What's curious is you guys split up the whole family, right?

[341] So you stayed with mom, your brother went with your dad, and then your sister went with your aunt.

[342] You're going to have to explain that to me. You're going to have to explain that to me. Okay, yeah, now that you have a couple kids, can you make sense of that?

[343] No. Having children changed my entire perspective on my childhood.

[344] Of course.

[345] I remember being just pregnant.

[346] with River, my first, and going, I can't fathom.

[347] Not being a part of her life, just seeing who she's going to be.

[348] When you don't know any differently, you know, you grow up and I was just used to not.

[349] It's your normal.

[350] It was my norm.

[351] Like, I just didn't have one.

[352] It wasn't like a cry every night or anything.

[353] Yeah, my parents were divorced at three.

[354] I didn't want him to get back together.

[355] I didn't care about any of that.

[356] I definitely do remember I did not want them to get back together.

[357] It was not a happy home.

[358] I remember that much.

[359] Did you see your brother?

[360] Not really.

[361] I saw him like a couple times.

[362] Wow.

[363] And my sister a couple times.

[364] I feel like I really kind of met him when I was 17 or 18, and we went up there to Alaska.

[365] Oh, he lived in Alaska.

[366] So my brother's a decade older than me. Oh, okay.

[367] Yeah, and my sister's seven and a half years older than me. I was very much an accident, save the marriage, probably a child.

[368] Try.

[369] Yeah, college try.

[370] You know.

[371] So your sister was then 13 and a half or 14 when the divorce happened?

[372] Why did she go to live with your aunt?

[373] She didn't at first.

[374] I don't remember this, really, but they lived with us for a little bit.

[375] And the divorce, I think, hit them a lot harder than it hit me. Even like my daughter and my son, they're only 22 months apart.

[376] But boys, they're a little slower.

[377] What are they're dumb?

[378] We can say it.

[379] No, they're dumb.

[380] No, he's actually really intelligent.

[381] He's done.

[382] He's behind and he's dumb.

[383] I'm sorry.

[384] He's not.

[385] He's not.

[386] He's actually really intelligent.

[387] Why I say that is he's sneaky.

[388] You think he's not paying attention and he's being aloof.

[389] And then he'll bring it up like a month later and I'm like, I'm sorry, what?

[390] Yeah.

[391] Yeah.

[392] So he's kind of sneakily smart.

[393] But our divorce hit them differently.

[394] My daughter's very intelligent.

[395] very intuitive.

[396] And she's eight and a half.

[397] She's about to be nine in like days.

[398] Okay.

[399] Yeah.

[400] So she, yeah.

[401] Little Gemini, super fun.

[402] Which one will I get today?

[403] Um, but I'm just kidding.

[404] I love Jimini.

[405] I don't know.

[406] I think it hit my siblings a lot harder.

[407] So they had a very different childhood teenage years.

[408] So do you think your sister was resentful at your mom?

[409] I don't know.

[410] I think my brothers, like my daughter, she'll still be like, y 'all are still going to get back together, right?

[411] And I'm like, no, honey.

[412] Like it's, and he, I think, always thought that was going to happen.

[413] I have two siblings.

[414] You have two.

[415] The notion that we would have grown up separately is so crazy of a thought to me. But so normal to me. Yes, I know.

[416] But I'm trying to imagine how your mom was able to let two kids.

[417] I don't know if there was a lot of choice in either way.

[418] There is a lot of, I mean, when I say like hardcore things, it's their life, so I'm not going to talk about it.

[419] But like, they had a very different experience.

[420] Like I was student council kid.

[421] Religion was beat into me. I was fearful of everything.

[422] I was a very good kid.

[423] I didn't even drink until I was, like, legally able to drink.

[424] And I was a waitress, a cocto waitress at, like, 18.

[425] So, like, that's weird.

[426] But honestly, not because I was like, oh, I'm a goody -goody or anything.

[427] I just saw what alcohol did to certain people in my family.

[428] And also smoking, like, with emphysema.

[429] So I think that's why steered clear to stuff like that.

[430] It wasn't really for any other reason.

[431] And I see how destructive that can be.

[432] And if that's in our blood or if that can pass on somehow, I don't want to be a part of that.

[433] Yeah.

[434] I observed all that too and then thought that way.

[435] And then at a certain point, I was like, no, we're going to try this.

[436] And then it was as bad as I thought it would be.

[437] Yeah.

[438] No, I know.

[439] But like, honestly, sometimes I think some of us are like that, too.

[440] I have to do that with certain things.

[441] You can tell someone to your blue in the face or they can watch a situation, but some people have to experience.

[442] That's virtually what I told my mom.

[443] I said, look, I get it.

[444] I'm high probability.

[445] I'm like eighth generation addict.

[446] But I'm going to have to find out by myself.

[447] There's no way I can just take everyone's word for it that that's going to happen.

[448] And by the way, I had a great 10 years of being an addict.

[449] And by the way, we're all addicts.

[450] Oh, sure.

[451] Exactly.

[452] Not everyone's a substance abuse addict.

[453] But people are love addicts.

[454] Technology addicted to sugar.

[455] They say sugar is more addictive than substances that, you know, you have partaken.

[456] So, you know, I'm worse than you.

[457] Because it's harder.

[458] It's harder to quit.

[459] Yeah.

[460] Anytime you're trying to regulate your internal feelings with some external shit and you do it habitually and it's kind of destructive, you know, that's an addiction.

[461] I know.

[462] It's so funny.

[463] Even on the TV show, we have people on all the time that have taken tragedy and overcome that and like done some really amazing things, right?

[464] When they're talking about it.

[465] They belittled that.

[466] And it's like, it's a human thing.

[467] You find something that feels good.

[468] You love it.

[469] Why would you not want to jump in that?

[470] You know?

[471] So I feel like people can take the approach of, I don't know, they're too elitist or I would never do that.

[472] And I'm like, oh, don't say that.

[473] It's either happening or it's going to happen.

[474] I was like, don't say never.

[475] We just had this conversation yesterday.

[476] We were literally having it yesterday with this exact conversation.

[477] Because I did say I would 100 % not do Trank.

[478] I am such a nerd.

[479] What the hell is Trank?

[480] Let me bring you up to speak.

[481] Let's go through.

[482] So we had our opioid epidemic, obviously.

[483] We also have a benzoh epidemic that's a little quieter.

[484] The new one is trank with some kind of equine tranquilizer that people have started doing.

[485] Oh, my God.

[486] People started doing that in COVID as well.

[487] It's probably the same thing.

[488] And it heightens the sensation of the other drugs that are already addicted to.

[489] But what it ends up is most people get abscesses and there's all these amputations that are happening all over the country because it's very hard on your body to be shooting it up.

[490] And I just saw a video of Philadelphia yesterday.

[491] someone filming walking on the street and there was over 100 people that were fully tranked out and they're all sitting in the same weird slumped standing position total zombie movie we were talking about that and then monica said well i can 100 % say i'll never get addicted to trank yeah but then in talking about it we decided i can't say that she won it right now with a big full life that's working i think there's certain things you can say i never said that too you could vehicular manslaughter but that's not murder yeah i don't know if somebody did something my child maybe i'll take that back yeah right there are things there's a lot of scenarios in which i could murder i will say though this is what i don't get about like you don't like my jacket and it's like oh my god yeah that's one of them i don't get people i'm like okay what's going on yeah damn because it's not the fucking jacket like what's happening i said i would never a hundred i could a hundred percent promise i wouldn't go to jail for rape unless i was being falsely convicted but i know i can say that for certain that i'm not going to do that yes although i painted I did a scenario.

[492] How?

[493] I would love to hear this scenario.

[494] Here's the scenario.

[495] Okay.

[496] The love of her life is Matt Damon.

[497] Luckily, he's been here and kissed her on the head.

[498] So that's part of her.

[499] He's nice.

[500] So nice.

[501] Yeah.

[502] And he's a sweetheart.

[503] Yeah.

[504] He's a good boy.

[505] So Matt's over.

[506] They're having some cocktails.

[507] He gets too drunk.

[508] He passes out.

[509] He's going to have to sleep here.

[510] We shouldn't leave these shoes on him.

[511] Let's get his shoes up.

[512] You're thinking like a dude.

[513] Exactly.

[514] That's what I said.

[515] I wouldn't even.

[516] I wouldn't even.

[517] I know.

[518] You want to take his shoes off?

[519] No, you got your stuff in this mess.

[520] Brother figure of your own shit out.

[521] Just let, I'll let it leave the shoes.

[522] I mean, my girlfriend, if like my girlfriend's like that, I'll help her even get changed, but not a dude.

[523] Okay.

[524] What if the love of your life is over and he passes out?

[525] The love of my life at some point has been completely drunk, and I've done that to him, and we still don't.

[526] You weren't finding it attractive enough to then kiss him or.

[527] No, that's not all I said was first the shoes would come off.

[528] You're like, okay, right, his shoes are off.

[529] He's going to sleep much better with these shoes.

[530] shoes off.

[531] And then he's like, oh, no one wants to sleep in denim jeans.

[532] See, you're so tight and uncomfortable.

[533] Yes, exactly.

[534] They're cumbersome.

[535] He's going to wake up like, oh, give me out of these.

[536] Right now it's all defendable.

[537] Then she removes.

[538] It's not definitive when this guy wakes up in his pants around.

[539] Exactly.

[540] That's what I said.

[541] She takes the pants off.

[542] Uh -oh.

[543] We didn't know Matt Damon is a raw dogger.

[544] He's riding.

[545] He's riding raw.

[546] He's riding raw.

[547] He's riding raw.

[548] Okay.

[549] So now when the pants come off, all of a sudden, now we're confronted with Matt Damon's penis and testicles.

[550] Which is totally appropriate to go near her if he's passed out.

[551] We're not going to go near him, but she's going to stare for a while.

[552] Oh, my God.

[553] I love him we're getting more insight to you and less about her.

[554] It is.

[555] Well, I don't feel bad at all because it's a dude.

[556] I wouldn't be able to have this hypothetical with a woman involved, but with a dude, if Monica takes his pants up and stares at his penis, good for him.

[557] Congratulations, brother.

[558] Let me high five you.

[559] Oh, my God.

[560] But I'm not doing it.

[561] I'm not feeling bad for him.

[562] I'm not doing it.

[563] I just want to remind you.

[564] I'm not doing it.

[565] I am going to do it.

[566] I am not going to do it.

[567] Okay.

[568] Anyway, we really took a detour.

[569] What's the segue from Matt Damon's penis?

[570] I've got a perfect one.

[571] Okay.

[572] No, but there's a couple of moments in your childhood and your early adulthood that are very noteworthy and confusing to me. So you start singing in church.

[573] You're singing in a hallway.

[574] A choir teacher asks you to join choir.

[575] At the school.

[576] Involved in choir in high school.

[577] now you're on a trajectory.

[578] You turned down a full ride to UT.

[579] I had an option if you got a certain chair, right?

[580] So I did classical stuff, so opera.

[581] And that was the only way I was going to get money to go to college.

[582] If you get to a certain point, which I think no one as a sophomore at that point had ever even done, I'd already reached a point to where I could get scholarship at like U and T, U .S., especially Texas schools.

[583] And Berkeley and Boston was one that I was really interested as well.

[584] But I had a lot of older friends.

[585] I watched every single one of my friends waste away the first year of their college.

[586] And a lot of my friends, their parents paid for everything.

[587] I didn't have that option.

[588] And a couple of them were music majors.

[589] It just was not exciting to me. So I did have a plan of doing that.

[590] I worked at Six Flags Over Texas, and I did like the singing and dancing.

[591] And I love that job.

[592] Were you in a costume or anything?

[593] Totally, Wild West Saloon for one of them.

[594] You were like a cowgirl?

[595] Yes.

[596] Very sexy cowgirl.

[597] A bat.

[598] I'm thinking of what's the Disney Cowgirls.

[599] So Sheriff Callie.

[600] Kind of like a Sheriff Callie vibe.

[601] That's a cat.

[602] No, I was like, that's a cat.

[603] Sheriff Callie's a cat.

[604] She's a cat.

[605] This random girl in the show, I didn't know her well.

[606] We just met.

[607] But it's a loose crowd that takes those jobs.

[608] Honestly, it was a fun crowd.

[609] Yeah.

[610] It was a very random grouping of people.

[611] You're not uptight if you're performing it.

[612] Flags over six.

[613] No. Flags over six.

[614] What is it?

[615] Flying over, soren over Texas.

[616] Six flags over Texas.

[617] It's a great theme park.

[618] Yeah.

[619] She got let down.

[620] A person that was supposed to move to L .A. with her.

[621] She wanted to be an act.

[622] actress, they belled out on her.

[623] So she had to have somebody else because she couldn't afford it because it's as expensive as hell to live here.

[624] So I was just spontaneous and was like, I'll go.

[625] Because I didn't really want to study what they were doing.

[626] I didn't even want to do it in high school.

[627] You can ask any choir teacher.

[628] I hated it.

[629] That's not what I wanted to sing.

[630] Now, I'm very grateful for it because it's like any guitarist.

[631] If it's a classical guitarist, they can generally play any genre of music.

[632] So I think if you have a classical foundation, it does help you navigate other genres.

[633] So I'm very thankful for that.

[634] But it didn't make me happy.

[635] And it wasn't fun.

[636] And that's why I wanted to sing was to have fun.

[637] And I liked writing.

[638] I wanted a different path.

[639] So I randomly moved out to Los Angeles with this girl.

[640] I hardly knew.

[641] Okay.

[642] So that's example one.

[643] To turn down full rides to some great places, the notion that I could have gone and lived in Austin for four years on a scholarship, it would have been hard for me to pass up.

[644] I mean, I'd been to Austin.

[645] I had people that lived there.

[646] I'd been in and out.

[647] I prize education.

[648] But I don't really feel like that's necessary.

[649] the track for everyone.

[650] This is coming, by the way, from a teacher's kid.

[651] So this was not an exciting notion to my mother.

[652] I'm sure your mother was not delighted.

[653] I also was the kid outside of high school doing theater things or opera things or like anything to network to find anybody to help me. I lived in a city where there was not a lot of help for what I wanted to do.

[654] There was not a lot of opportunity.

[655] So I don't think she was shocked at all.

[656] And I also firmly believe when you have nothing, and I had like three or four jobs all the time just because I had to pay my own everything.

[657] And so when you have nothing to lose, you go for everything.

[658] Sure.

[659] So I drove across the United States and lived on a mattress.

[660] Did you take singing lessons or it was just in choir and school?

[661] In church.

[662] Basically, choir and school.

[663] Maybe I took a few lessons in high school, but I couldn't afford that.

[664] I only got like a few lessons and she was great.

[665] But it was the same thing we were learning from Ms. Glenn in choir.

[666] So it was like, you know, all the warm ups and how to take care of your voice properly and be able to sustain a whole show.

[667] You already intuitively knew the difference between singing in your head voice and your chest and all that stuff.

[668] I didn't know the technical, like I got in choir later than everybody else.

[669] Like, I am not going to be in choir.

[670] Right, right.

[671] That's nerdy.

[672] Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

[673] Cut to totally in show choir, totally.

[674] Yeah, I loved it.

[675] Cut to, all right, this is how I'm going to get to college, which was ironic because I didn't go.

[676] But that was the only option for me. So I was way late to the game.

[677] Everybody already knew Solfidge, like the doorway of me. But I knew it innately.

[678] When you're in that situation and you realize everyone else around you knows more than you.

[679] What type of person are you in that situation?

[680] Do you avail yourself to advice or do you fake it until you make it?

[681] Do you pretend you know?

[682] I pretend I know just to be honest.

[683] Well, so within the first month, she separates us into like alto, soprano, second soprano for the choir.

[684] So it was one of the most embarrassing, horrifying moments in my life, but also then one of the ones that I was like, oh, wait.

[685] She had us all around like a piano and we were doing skis.

[686] right just to figure out where you were going to vocally go and I was kind of at the front all of a sudden I noticed it was just me singing and then this other girl on the other side and I was like why are we the only one singing and we're total for sopranos so people just couldn't go as high right and then she'd scaled down and we could go really low so at first I was horrified because I was new to this and I was embarrassed because I was like why is everyone not singing yeah yeah and everyone can hear me and like what do I sound like and like I'm only sing in church I wasn't the girl that I am now.

[687] I was mortified and almost shit my pants.

[688] And then everybody was like, oh my gosh, you have a really great range.

[689] And then it turned into something that I felt special, which completely, by the way, changed my entire personality.

[690] And especially if you don't ever feel special before that.

[691] Anytime a kid finds - It's like discovering you have a superpower.

[692] Yeah.

[693] That happened to you in real life.

[694] I feel like that's what's important with kids, too, just in general, just finding something that they latch on to that they feel empowered by.

[695] It's so important.

[696] I think it kept me out of a lot of trouble and definitely kept me not pregnant in high school in the south.

[697] Yeah.

[698] Did you date in high school?

[699] Because I have another earmarked thing that I heard you say in an interview that I'm curious about.

[700] Wait, what's the earmark thing?

[701] Well, you say that your album chemistry is called chemistry because you had never experienced chemistry prior to your ex -husband.

[702] That is true.

[703] I remember my first boyfriend.

[704] What grade?

[705] I was a sophomore and he was a senior.

[706] And I'm going to be honest with you.

[707] He's a really nice guy, so I hate him talking about it.

[708] Call him George.

[709] But I didn't really want to date.

[710] I was very focused on getting out of the town I was in.

[711] He was kind of chasing me. We were in the same class.

[712] He was very nice.

[713] He thought why not?

[714] Everybody dates.

[715] So I was just like, okay, cool.

[716] And so I did.

[717] It was literally for like two months.

[718] Like it was nothing.

[719] And I remember at the end of it, I kept telling my friend because I had broken up with him.

[720] I was like, you should date him.

[721] Like I was just trying to fuck.

[722] Sure.

[723] Because you felt a little guilty maybe.

[724] I felt guilty because he really liked me and I didn't feel that way.

[725] I've had those moments where I was praying the person I was with would cheat on me like, God, I hope they meet someone tonight at this bar.

[726] I hope something happens.

[727] It's a guilt -free way for me to get right out of here.

[728] That sounds healthy.

[729] Oh my God.

[730] I mean, I've had that feeling if I'm being honest.

[731] I think a lot of people.

[732] I think so.

[733] Yeah, yeah.

[734] I do too.

[735] I think it's hard to confront someone.

[736] Listen, I'd way rather be broken up with than break up with somebody.

[737] Let me just say that.

[738] 100%.

[739] Even if it's highly and healthy, not a good situation, you should feel fine about it.

[740] You still feel like a piece of shit.

[741] You do because you can imagine loving someone that doesn't love you back.

[742] What could be sadder?

[743] And you're responsible for that.

[744] I don't even think I was open to it.

[745] It's a romance.

[746] Yeah, I don't think I was open to that kind of depth of love.

[747] What age did that click on?

[748] Honestly, I was singing with the Rascal Flats.

[749] I think it was like 2006, 2007, something like that.

[750] So four years after Idol.

[751] Yeah, 2002 is 101.

[752] Yes.

[753] So I was singing with Rascal Flats on this song and this guy like walks past me and I just got out of a I'd had a boyfriend for a few months like it was always that for me it was never longer than months I just was never in and I think because I never felt what I felt when this person passed me and when he passed me every thought that you could possibly have about someone on this show we say PQs okay pussy quivers oh yes we've had a couple different basketball players where Monica would be like I was PQing like crazy is overwhelming this was a PQ moment for me okay great great Great.

[754] It sounds like that.

[755] Okay, great.

[756] It's visceral.

[757] You can't help it.

[758] You can't deny it.

[759] It's chemical.

[760] It is.

[761] No, that's why I named the album chemistry.

[762] It's, you cannot.

[763] And there's like a song on it called I hate love as well because it's like I hate it.

[764] You can't control it.

[765] You can't control it.

[766] Wait, who's this dude who walked my ex.

[767] Oh.

[768] Oh.

[769] No shit.

[770] We just met that night for the first time.

[771] And then I didn't run into him until like six years later.

[772] Like we had randomly seen each other here and there.

[773] I've done some detective work just very basic, which is I saw that one of your managers was named.

[774] black stock.

[775] Two of my managers have been named black son.

[776] So presumably he's the son.

[777] Well, he's definitely not the dad.

[778] Right.

[779] So my hunch is, so you saw this dude and then at some point you're working with his dad?

[780] Not then.

[781] Okay.

[782] I didn't realize they were related when I first met him.

[783] Okay.

[784] When I won Idol, I kept begging for a freaking country week, but they're a British -owned company and they did not understand country music.

[785] Sure.

[786] You're welcome, Carrie Underwood.

[787] Like, I was like, I just really wanted to see country music and they didn't get it.

[788] And so they surprised me in Vegas at this big show at the end of Idol with getting to sing with Riba.

[789] Because the song I wanted to sing was Ariba song.

[790] The manager's married to Riba.

[791] And your ex -husband's the stepson of Riba.

[792] Yes, but I really met him briefly.

[793] I didn't know him.

[794] I didn't know his father.

[795] I found out the next week, I was like, I ran into this guy.

[796] And it was so sad because I lived in L .A. at that time right after Idol.

[797] And one of my friends knew somebody who knew him.

[798] And he was like, oh, he's married.

[799] And I was like, are you serious?

[800] Because I didn't really talk too much, but I just saw.

[801] And I was like, first round of PQs and he's taken.

[802] Yeah, and he was taken.

[803] So I was like, oh, okay.

[804] And then I found out his dad was who his dad was in his stepmom.

[805] So then I was like, oh, okay.

[806] So we didn't even really run into each other until.

[807] Right, right on.

[808] And then we didn't run into each other until like six years later, I think.

[809] Okay, wow.

[810] So that was percolating for a very long time.

[811] I think once you feel the PQs, you're like, I'm not going to settle.

[812] I love that you're embracing it.

[813] Yeah, I love it.

[814] I love it.

[815] Yeah, it's classy.

[816] I feel like it is.

[817] Especially when you say PQ instead of the actual.

[818] But I think once you feel something like that, you will accept nothing less.

[819] Huge problem.

[820] It is.

[821] I went on one date.

[822] Then the next date was him.

[823] Because I was like, I want to wait for that feeling.

[824] Like I've never felt that before.

[825] And it's exciting.

[826] Okay, great.

[827] So we're here exactly where I did interpret it, or at least what I was suggesting was, it's shocking to me that you would have made it to, what were you, 24 -ish, we'll say.

[828] Yeah.

[829] It's not shocking when you're a person that really thought you were asexual.

[830] for the longest time.

[831] That's what I want to know about.

[832] Yeah.

[833] How were you explaining it?

[834] Because clearly your friends are like, PQing off the EQ.

[835] It felt frivolous because everybody was like, oh, I love this person.

[836] I'm like, you love somebody else last week.

[837] Feel fraudulent.

[838] And honestly, childhood issues.

[839] I ran into my father again later in life and was like, hey, I live in a shack with my mom.

[840] And you live in a really nice place.

[841] And I ran into him once because my friend made a trip out to Los Angeles with her dad.

[842] And I randomly came out.

[843] My mom was like, you have to see your father.

[844] And I was like, I don't know him.

[845] But then I saw his life.

[846] And I was like, what the hell?

[847] How you live in like this?

[848] We have like salt for dinner.

[849] I was like, what?

[850] I literally heard him say, oh, honey, you're your mom's family now.

[851] I have another family now.

[852] And like, you know what I'm saying?

[853] Like, you hear that from someone that you've been told in movies and stories and yeah.

[854] So you don't really trust it.

[855] You can't have a great opinion of men in general.

[856] No, I do because I was very fortunate.

[857] I was actually talking about this person the other day because he passed away and he's in his 90s.

[858] It's fine.

[859] He had a well -lived life.

[860] But I had a pastor that was the turning point for me. And he literally passed this past week.

[861] And he was that guy that would cut out clippings of performances or things that I do and accomplish.

[862] And he would just send it in a letter saying, we're so proud of you.

[863] So I was fortunately shown in other areas of my village, what it could be and should be.

[864] Did you have stepdads?

[865] Yes.

[866] More than one?

[867] One.

[868] You had one.

[869] Great.

[870] Your silence says a lot.

[871] It does put your life on a path.

[872] You can go either way, right?

[873] Right?

[874] So I have friends that have had similar upbringings, and I think you go the way of what you've been shown or you know that you're worthy of better.

[875] Yes, but would you agree that it gives you a spiky sense, which is, hmm, there's a new adult present.

[876] He's presenting as this way.

[877] Oh, when she's not here, he's not that person.

[878] Oh, people are duplicitous.

[879] The world is full of, it changes your worldview.

[880] People are full of shit.

[881] You get really good at reading through bullshit.

[882] No, I can't.

[883] There's literally.

[884] A song on my new album called Red Flag Collector.

[885] Okay, because you are not a good bullshit detector.

[886] Because what I did as a child is I did not have the happiest of moments or life, right?

[887] So then I think I'm a creative person.

[888] So I would create whatever I needed to.

[889] You would disassociate and live in a fantasy world.

[890] And live in a fantasy world.

[891] Still the person that loves Harry Potter.

[892] Yeah.

[893] And magic.

[894] And I have to hold on to it.

[895] So I'm very bad at that because what I do is I see potential and I see who.

[896] They really are deep down.

[897] You see who you want them to be.

[898] Exactly.

[899] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[900] Says therapy.

[901] And so I'm not good at that.

[902] Okay.

[903] Very easily taken advantage of.

[904] I don't like that.

[905] But then it's kind of good you stayed away from boys until you're older.

[906] 100%.

[907] Yeah.

[908] And what helped me, honestly, was singing.

[909] I felt like it was my way out of where I was.

[910] You were married and getting fulfilled and have purpose through singing.

[911] And I never wanted to get married.

[912] I never wanted children.

[913] I never wanted any of that.

[914] I was never that girl.

[915] Like, I had friends that had, like, books of this is going to be my dress.

[916] and this is going to mean.

[917] I was like, Jesus.

[918] And there's nothing wrong with it.

[919] Just in my world, I was just like, you are putting a lot of pressure on something.

[920] And it probably statistically is not going to work out.

[921] Right.

[922] Right.

[923] Just be real.

[924] So I never sought after any of that.

[925] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[926] We've all been there.

[927] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[928] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[929] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[930] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[931] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[932] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[933] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[934] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[935] What's up, guys?

[936] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[937] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[938] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[939] And I don't mean just friends.

[940] I mean the likes of Amy Polis.

[941] Kale Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[942] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[943] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[944] Okay, then without having to tell any of your stepdad's dirty laundry, what do you think you personally left that experience with as an ism?

[945] I learned from a very young age that I would never rely on somebody else, financially, emotionally.

[946] Okay, great.

[947] Obviously, we had different outcomes, you and I. Like, I think I am a good boy.

[948] bullshit detector.

[949] But minimally, you have to leave with major trust issues.

[950] So here's the thing.

[951] I trust everyone until you screw me over.

[952] But I don't know if I'm ever fully in ever.

[953] That's what I'm saying.

[954] That's trust.

[955] I don't know.

[956] I think we like to label things good, bad, healthy, and healthy.

[957] And I think also we are just a product of our upbringing.

[958] Because, okay, here's a lyric on the new album.

[959] Okay.

[960] I'm going to fuck it up.

[961] I'm going to.

[962] I'm going I'm going.

[963] I know.

[964] I can't remember.

[965] It's in the song me. I know.

[966] But it's like I told you, I wanted you, but you needed me to need you.

[967] That is not who I am.

[968] It's never going to be who I am.

[969] And I find it far more romantic and far more lovely that someone would choose you when they need you.

[970] I find that more meaningful.

[971] But that doesn't necessarily mean that the other person is comfortable with that.

[972] Or wrong.

[973] It's just who they are.

[974] It's just who they are and how they want to receive love.

[975] Love languages, whatever.

[976] But I don't know that it's a bad thing.

[977] It's just how I am and who I am.

[978] So for me, self -sufficiency was number one.

[979] There's limited resources, a lot of guys coming in and out of the picture.

[980] You had to have your shit together and get yourself to school and brush your teeth.

[981] No one else was watching out for that.

[982] So that has made me in relationships like, I'm an island.

[983] I'm good.

[984] Let's be with each other, but I don't need any interdependence.

[985] I'm my own thing.

[986] You be your own thing.

[987] But is that so bad to find another island that you don't mind swimming over to each other's island every once in a while?

[988] It's not bad so long as your partner.

[989] In my case, you can have a bridge, like a draw bridge.

[990] But my love language is, I will never drain you.

[991] That's how I show you I love you.

[992] will never cost you a thing.

[993] I will just be here to add.

[994] But I think that's beautiful.

[995] Whereas my wife's love language is, no, no, how I would show you that I love you is to do things for you and to care for you.

[996] And I want to be cared for it.

[997] So you can have opposite love languages, which we have.

[998] She would love to be in service to one another nonstop.

[999] If she asked me to do something, I'm like, I'm not your assistant.

[1000] Yeah.

[1001] You do your shit.

[1002] I'll do my shit.

[1003] I mean, that's my instinct.

[1004] I have to overcome that.

[1005] But I think you can cohabitate.

[1006] But it's only a problem if you recognize that your partner's not getting the love language that they would want.

[1007] But interestingly enough, we both did that thing, that whole love language thing, and we're exactly the same.

[1008] You are.

[1009] In the same numerical order.

[1010] Then why doesn't that work?

[1011] Because maybe you need to be opposites.

[1012] Trying to figure out how to answer this.

[1013] Yeah.

[1014] It just sometimes doesn't work.

[1015] Sometimes you try and you try.

[1016] And maybe we both had similar damage done to us when we were younger.

[1017] Maybe that plays a role.

[1018] But it was a really hard thing for me to be with someone that maybe needed me to.

[1019] be somebody I could never be and I never told you I was.

[1020] Yeah, yeah.

[1021] Like from the beginning, even in this song, Lighthouse.

[1022] The things you loved and held up in such high regard and were so attracted to are the things I'm being persecuted for.

[1023] Yeah, yeah.

[1024] Yeah, yeah.

[1025] By the way, I think you're in a very uniquely terrible position and I've had numerous, hugely powerful women in here that all deal with the same fucking issue, which is men have a very hard time being lower status than their wives.

[1026] It takes a very special man that can live with a woman who's much more powerful in the world, makes more money, gets more attention, has more say because of all those things.

[1027] That is very hard for many men to deal with, and it's very unfair, and it puts a lot of you in a position where these men are attracted to your brilliance, but then as soon as they're living with it, they're very threatened by your brilliance.

[1028] Mm -hmm.

[1029] I don't know if it's exactly that because he grew up with Reba McIntyre as a stepmother and his father was her man. You know what I'm saying?

[1030] It was a very similar, and his mother is very powerful.

[1031] I don't think that's just it.

[1032] To your point of this is the thing that attracted you to me, I think it's very common for people to fall in love with that thing and then ultimately feel threatened by that thing, that thing's more important than they are.

[1033] Yes.

[1034] I do think that brings true for a lot of relationships.

[1035] And it takes a very confident person to be.

[1036] be okay with that.

[1037] My wife wants to sing on Broadway more than she wants to do anything with me. I love that.

[1038] And I'm going to have to be fine with that and supportive of that, which I can be.

[1039] They're different desires.

[1040] The truth might even be, though, at gunpoint, you pick one of these two things.

[1041] No, it's not.

[1042] No, it's not.

[1043] I don't buy that.

[1044] I'm just saying, could you love somebody who does have a first love that's in front of you?

[1045] I am attracted to people.

[1046] I'm not saying, even sexually.

[1047] I just mean, I am attracted to people that have their own shit going on.

[1048] Yes, of course.

[1049] I am attracted to people that love being productive.

[1050] I am attracted to people that have their own drive, their own ambition.

[1051] Competency industry.

[1052] Yes.

[1053] People that are attracted to me seem to be people that are really into people that have a lot of drive and ambition.

[1054] Maybe some of the things they might be lacking, that they adore, but then get very resentful because they don't have to be that.

[1055] Why can't they feel?

[1056] I want to feel.

[1057] They start comparing themselves to you.

[1058] Yes, which is so dangerous.

[1059] feel shitty about themselves.

[1060] Yes, which is self -sabotaging.

[1061] Yeah.

[1062] Which we're all guilty of.

[1063] Oh, my God, yeah.

[1064] Yeah.

[1065] It can be rough when you desire a characteristic that your partner so effortlessly displays.

[1066] It's just a big mirror all the time.

[1067] I can understand it being hard for that other person.

[1068] Because they pick you because they think it will like rub off on them or something, that the proximity will mean something.

[1069] It will bleed into them and then it doesn't and then they're upset about that.

[1070] Yeah.

[1071] especially where I'm from.

[1072] It's like, oh, we're half and half and make a hole.

[1073] Even in my marriage, I've never thought that.

[1074] I think that's very dangerous.

[1075] Let's say you believe in God.

[1076] Let's say you don't.

[1077] Whatever you believe in, there is no one like you.

[1078] You are so special.

[1079] Everyone.

[1080] Even if you have a twin, I know twins.

[1081] They're very different from each other.

[1082] We're so special.

[1083] Why would you give that up?

[1084] Why would you need to let half of yourself go, basically, in order to allow somebody else in?

[1085] It makes more sense to me to be a complete person, find another complete person, And I think confidence plays a huge thing here because insecurity is the most unattractive thing in the lens.

[1086] That should be a new song on your next album.

[1087] It's such an, oh.

[1088] Let's see if we can crack it right now.

[1089] Right now.

[1090] Then you look at me and then look at your shoes.

[1091] You came over here and had too many beers.

[1092] Let me take off your shoes and remove your denim jeans.

[1093] Are you going to write the Broadway musical for Christopher?

[1094] No, this is for Monica and Matt now.

[1095] Oh.

[1096] Oh, I disassociated.

[1097] during that.

[1098] So I didn't.

[1099] I just assumed.

[1100] I chose to leave the room emotionally.

[1101] I really did.

[1102] I had to go.

[1103] She gets very nervous when I sing.

[1104] I think it's never that we've had a singer in where you haven't sang.

[1105] That's definitely true.

[1106] But I also sing quite often.

[1107] You do.

[1108] You do.

[1109] Yeah.

[1110] It's not just specifically when you all are here.

[1111] But it's just I notice it more.

[1112] It's like dancing.

[1113] There you go.

[1114] People talking about what superpower you'd want.

[1115] Like, do you want to fly?

[1116] Do you want to be invisible?

[1117] And I have many times said if I could reticulate my jaw.

[1118] and let all the air come out, and it sounded like Adele.

[1119] That would be my, because I know.

[1120] It would be a little weird coming out of your body, that sound, but okay, I'm accepting.

[1121] I wouldn't care what anyone thought if I just let it rip, because I do love singing so much and I'm terrible at it.

[1122] But that would be for me, I think, the best feeling.

[1123] I feel it gets a gift.

[1124] Do you feel it when you fucking let it rip?

[1125] There's definitely rough moments when you're like, that was not my best.

[1126] But yeah, no, when you practice for something, you execute it, and it works out even better than you planned.

[1127] Yeah, that's a really awesome feeling.

[1128] In the moment, though, the process, forget the outcome of it.

[1129] It feels like a superpower.

[1130] Because the only thing I can compare to is like riding a motorcycle on the track is the one thing I'm pretty darn good at.

[1131] And there are moments where I'm just like flying by dudes in a turn.

[1132] And I'm like, oh, like I can feel this sense of power.

[1133] I felt that when I used to snowboard in my tongue, I'd like fly by people and I'm not even that great at it, but I'll be like, better than you.

[1134] Yeah.

[1135] Okay.

[1136] You'll see, around the house?

[1137] Do you find yourself singing like in the shower?

[1138] I literally was just singing in the shower because D -Smith was the last artist I had on the voice.

[1139] Like it just wrapped up and we had this duet.

[1140] And last minute, song clearance is a really fun thing in the TV world.

[1141] And we had to switch not only one of his songs, we had to switch what we were singing as a duet.

[1142] So I was like, oh, how much heads up?

[1143] 24 hours possibly.

[1144] Yeah.

[1145] Or less than that.

[1146] I found out before rehearsal what we were doing.

[1147] So I was practicing, because it's interesting to sing harmony when no one's singing lead.

[1148] I was doing it, I guess so much that my daughter came in.

[1149] It goes, really like this song, don't you?

[1150] And I was like, because I'm usually singing in the shower, but not to this extent.

[1151] But I was like really trying to nail like what I was going to do and navigate it.

[1152] Because we're both singers that never really sing the same thing twice.

[1153] We can sing the same song, but it comes out differently every time.

[1154] Yeah, fun when you're a solo artist, but not when you're, you know, creating a duet.

[1155] You have to be in harmony with someone else.

[1156] So that could be a little scary.

[1157] So anyway, she was like, oh, we're singing.

[1158] That's great.

[1159] But my nine -year -old's like, are you done?

[1160] They do get excited.

[1161] I don't know the age difference to our kids.

[1162] Mine are seven and nine.

[1163] Eight and ten.

[1164] They think it's awesome when we're out and people come up.

[1165] Then all of a sudden they're right beside me. It's more my daughter.

[1166] You know, she'll be right beside me and she'll be like, oh, hi.

[1167] She has the pride that you're her mother.

[1168] Yes, yes.

[1169] That's lovely.

[1170] Yeah.

[1171] It can go either way.

[1172] Yeah.

[1173] It really can.

[1174] And it probably in 2 .0 seconds is about to.

[1175] When she's 13.

[1176] She's going to be like, I'm so over you, mom.

[1177] Okay, wrapping up, to me, you're not going and pursuing the college path, which was a much a safer route, showed some level of conviction and bravery and believe in yourself.

[1178] The thing that blows my mind even beyond that is the notion that you had been offered a recording contract with both Interscope and Jive.

[1179] One of those, I remember is right, but it was like a subsidiary.

[1180] You know, like how under the umbrella.

[1181] There's several labels.

[1182] So it was that.

[1183] But the situation was you have to do this.

[1184] this, this, this, we own this, we own that.

[1185] And I was just like, you know what, I'm a really great waitress.

[1186] I think that's a rare choice.

[1187] But here's why it's, yes, you can call it brave.

[1188] My goal is to be a background singer.

[1189] Okay, but slow down for one second.

[1190] What if we took a second and patted ourselves on the back?

[1191] Oh, totally.

[1192] No, I do think I'm a brave person.

[1193] I'm okay with it.

[1194] Enough therapy.

[1195] I don't know.

[1196] Three and a half years in, yes.

[1197] That's pretty fucking gangster.

[1198] You're 19 or 20 years old.

[1199] You've come to L .A., and you have a bird in the hand and you say, no, thank you.

[1200] That's pretty astounding.

[1201] If you had offered me a show.

[1202] Dex Shepherd sucks dicks behind Arby's when I was 19?

[1203] I would have been like, yeah, absolutely.

[1204] How many years are we doing this?

[1205] Oh, no. It is brave.

[1206] I do have a fair amount of confidence and self -worth, but I also think that it has to do with the fact that that was not my actual goal.

[1207] So my goal was not to be a solo artist.

[1208] My goal in moving to Los Angeles was to be a background singer because I loved singing different genres of music.

[1209] I wanted to go on tour with all these amazing artists that I love, and I love harmony.

[1210] That was my dream.

[1211] Okay.

[1212] That makes sense.

[1213] And so for somebody to hand me some shitty -ass contract that's basically you're giving your first born away.

[1214] No, thanks.

[1215] I'm an all -in or all -out kind of person.

[1216] I will dive right in, even if somebody says it's a bad idea.

[1217] If it's something I want to do, I'll do it.

[1218] I think you've demonstrated that numerous times.

[1219] I feel like I have to.

[1220] Okay, so I was thinking about this.

[1221] I'm not great at years.

[1222] I also don't know if something was five minutes ago or six years ago.

[1223] I'm not good at time in general.

[1224] Yeah.

[1225] And as I've gotten older, it's just getting worse and worse and worse.

[1226] But some part of me He was like, oh, wow, yeah.

[1227] So I was watching that first American idol in my apartment in Santa Monica with my ex -girlfriend Brie.

[1228] I had no hopes of being on TV yet at that point.

[1229] I was obsessed like everyone else was.

[1230] It was the most thrilling thing in the world when you won.

[1231] It was like justice had been served.

[1232] The right person won.

[1233] It was so triumphant.

[1234] I then, because I'm a cynic and skeptical and I'm pessimistic.

[1235] I'm like, well, that was her four seconds.

[1236] By the way, me too.

[1237] Well, that's what I wanted to ask you about.

[1238] Because I thought, this is so incredible, but so much of it is about this experience.

[1239] Does it transfer over to actual career?

[1240] I don't know if they do now, but they wouldn't allow you to do original music because a lot of us were writers.

[1241] And I actually think Justin Gwarnie would have had a bit of an edge because he was a better writer than all of us.

[1242] I had that same thought, too.

[1243] I did have the thought of like, man, maybe I won't have to wait tables.

[1244] I'll at least be able to get BGV work, like background work.

[1245] It's so good to be true that someone would get launched as a solo artist out of that.

[1246] Let me tell you why I think that show works when sometimes others don't.

[1247] That show was created by a person that owned a record label.

[1248] Simon Fuller.

[1249] Yes.

[1250] That also is a management company.

[1251] If he invest in these artists that are on the show, it's all full circle, right?

[1252] So if you invest in the artist and you actually put your money out and help them with a career, he's very smart, even before Idol, pop idol, which is where American Idol came from, which is the UK.

[1253] If you're helping these artists, then they're helping the credibility of your show.

[1254] He's invested in the outcome of you being solo.

[1255] He's invested in all of it.

[1256] He's invested as a manager he makes money, as a label he makes money.

[1257] The TV show makes money because it's more lucrative because people believe in it because it's got credibility.

[1258] So that show stands out above all the others for that reason.

[1259] Are you so flattered when you hear Simon Cowell say that of all the idol winners, you are by far the best singer?

[1260] I'm extremely flattered because I know that he does not throw out compliments like that.

[1261] I love hearing him say that because I never know if I can parse out.

[1262] how much of it was just the first experience with that show.

[1263] And you don't know if you've been swayed by the momentum of that whole thing.

[1264] This gal is the best singer I play on Earth.

[1265] Where was she?

[1266] That's what I'm thinking watching the show.

[1267] So to hear him kind of confirm that I really just enjoyed.

[1268] There are incredible singers out there that don't get the opportunity or get contracts like that happened to me put in their face.

[1269] It's like, no way.

[1270] I'm not doing that.

[1271] Even with Simon Fuller, he let me out of my deal.

[1272] I was unhappy because he wasn't really able to manage me. It was all the other people.

[1273] And it was just, a really hard situation.

[1274] I just was not happy.

[1275] I didn't feel safe.

[1276] I didn't feel whatever I felt I needed to feel.

[1277] And he not only let me out, he said, girl, I will help you find a manager.

[1278] I will help you navigate this.

[1279] There was another part of my career when I parted ways with a manager.

[1280] And he, you know, even popped back up to my same lawyer that I've had since I don't was like, hey, if she ever needs anything, just let me know.

[1281] Like, he's legitimately the greatest guy ever.

[1282] That's awesome.

[1283] Yeah.

[1284] Here's what I want, I'm curious about.

[1285] I think we might have this in common but we've had nothing in common even though we've had the same childhoods and stuff so maybe this will fall apart too yeah so i was on this show punked first season yeah i owe every single thing to punked but i had such a chip on my shoulder that i was coming off of a reality tv show i wanted to distance myself from punk so much really in the first five years i felt embarrassed that i had gotten famous from a reality show that i wasn't a real actor that i was a reality show person and that people thought that about me. And it was this huge hurdle.

[1286] It took me years to actually be able to look at punk and go, that was excellent.

[1287] And that was a wonderful thing.

[1288] And I just wondered, did you leave with any baggage?

[1289] I don't have a lot of ego or pride.

[1290] I don't get embarrassed.

[1291] I'm just not a person that generally puts time or effort into those thoughts.

[1292] So I went on every single season, I think, after.

[1293] Yeah, yeah.

[1294] And came and showed up.

[1295] And they were like, hey, can you come back?

[1296] Because you're like a success story.

[1297] I'm very supportive.

[1298] Because also I'm well aware that.

[1299] Celine Dion made it huge because of Eurovision.

[1300] Yeah.

[1301] That's a singing contest.

[1302] Oh, I don't know that.

[1303] You can like her or not, but she's a fucking beast of a singer.

[1304] Yeah, yeah.

[1305] That should have definitely been in the top 200, Rillingstone.

[1306] But anyway, you know, same thing.

[1307] Frank Sinatra, I heard he had won a contest.

[1308] A lot of people that we adore and hold up as classics.

[1309] Yeah.

[1310] And at the same time, I think because I come from nothing, I'm like, who the hell cares how you get here?

[1311] It's how you stay.

[1312] Longevity is the prize.

[1313] And listen.

[1314] I would never be looking at you thinking that.

[1315] No, I'm saying you shouldn't look at you.

[1316] Nor do I now.

[1317] But from 28 to 33, I had a big chip on my shoulder about it.

[1318] But also, Idle at that time was also really cool.

[1319] No, no, no, no. I had a really hard time because the first season, we were a joke.

[1320] They didn't have stylists.

[1321] They sent them to the mall.

[1322] They gave her some money and sent her to the mall.

[1323] And by the way, I pocketed that shit because I was like, who knows what's going to happen here.

[1324] Even afterwards, though, we went to like, I think it was like MTV Awards or something.

[1325] and people were not nice.

[1326] There were people that were nice, but that was rare.

[1327] Like, a lot of people were very demeaning.

[1328] And, like, oh, you're from the talent show, right?

[1329] That's the thing I'm talking about it.

[1330] But that's their problem, not yours.

[1331] That's so healthy of you.

[1332] What has the power to make you insecure then?

[1333] I'm not really an insecure person, but doubtful.

[1334] That can be me if I like someone.

[1335] I don't get insecure about it because I feel like I'm a secure person and I'm worthy of a person, but I think I'm not good at reading people.

[1336] So that makes me doubtful.

[1337] But when you're talking about things that you're not happy with or something you didn't want to be associated with, so when I won, I kind of wanted Justin to win.

[1338] And Justin wanted to win because he wanted to do this movie that you had to do if you won.

[1339] And I did not want to do a movie.

[1340] Because I have never had a dream from Justin to Kelly.

[1341] It will be playing in hell near you.

[1342] Anyway, the people were nice.

[1343] Just I never wanted to be an actress.

[1344] And you're forcing someone that is just a singer -songwriter into a position.

[1345] that literally makes me have diarrhea.

[1346] Like I get like nervous tummy.

[1347] Total IBS -y.

[1348] No fun PQs going on.

[1349] Just the other letters.

[1350] So I think I begged my label and I begged Simon Fuller.

[1351] I was like, you've got to let me release my single on my album before this thing comes out.

[1352] Or I am dead.

[1353] I will tank.

[1354] After all this good positive stuff, really, I'm about to erase all this.

[1355] And they did, though.

[1356] They let me release my music.

[1357] So Miss Independent came out and it was number one for like weeks.

[1358] That song is what helped me overcome that because I did not want to do that.

[1359] And it is not good.

[1360] It's not a great movie.

[1361] It's really not.

[1362] I don't want to see it now.

[1363] She's never seen it because she's a friend.

[1364] And I said if you're a friend, you will never, and it's not your, you're not into, like, musical movies anyway.

[1365] What was it?

[1366] What is it?

[1367] Horrible.

[1368] But are you guys playing yourself?

[1369] No. Oh, it's fictional.

[1370] Oh, it's fictional.

[1371] Oh, my God.

[1372] I distorted the microphone.

[1373] I got so emotional.

[1374] No, it's not about us.

[1375] It was like a fictional story.

[1376] And they kept referencing this.

[1377] So I don't even know what I'm referencing because I've never seen these.

[1378] But they kept saying, oh, it's like, is it Frankie Valley and Fonichella Bonnet?

[1379] What is the name?

[1380] Who knows?

[1381] Whatever.

[1382] These older people from yesteryear that used to make movies on a beach or something, like beach blanket movies or something.

[1383] Oh, sure.

[1384] Elvis used to do those as well.

[1385] Yeah, that's not my vibe.

[1386] It's not my vibe to watch.

[1387] It's not my vibe to be in.

[1388] Because the only acting I've ever done is on stage.

[1389] And that's very different.

[1390] Surely.

[1391] You're in the moment.

[1392] It's one time through.

[1393] Now, energy is my vibe.

[1394] Why did they want you guys to do this?

[1395] Money.

[1396] Yeah, it's got a ring.

[1397] Yeah.

[1398] But they thought, oh, it's good for the brand.

[1399] There's some hardcore fans.

[1400] Also, they didn't think it was going to be bad.

[1401] No one, like, sets out to make a bad movie.

[1402] But I told them in my closet crying in Texas in my apartment.

[1403] I was like, this is going to be horrible.

[1404] I am very aware of my capabilities, what I'm comfortable with and what I'm not going to excel in.

[1405] Yeah, you're like, I'm not being faux humble.

[1406] It's I'm just not good at this.

[1407] This is not me doing any kind of situation like that.

[1408] This is me being really honest.

[1409] Okay, now I'm going to fast forward.

[1410] I'm going to go really quick because we just got to let everyone know.

[1411] So that first album off of Idol, 4 .5 million copies, huge success.

[1412] Then you get a different manager next album, breakaway 12 million albums sold, two Grammys.

[1413] That's when albums sold.

[1414] Yeah.

[1415] Aren't you glad you got the tail end of that?

[1416] I always get the tail end of every industry.

[1417] Yeah, you're kind of the tail end of a daytime talk show as well.

[1418] It's our internal joke.

[1419] They're like, oh, you know what?

[1420] I'll get right in right when it's ending.

[1421] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1422] But better to have got in at the end than that never got in.

[1423] It's my thing.

[1424] Okay.

[1425] And then my December, it's darker, whatever.

[1426] Still does well, but people close too dark.

[1427] Well, there's a lot of bad press around that.

[1428] Yeah.

[1429] But who gives a fuck?

[1430] Then we go on to all I ever wanted.

[1431] Second number one album, then stronger.

[1432] Best Pop Vocal album.

[1433] Only Person to Win Twice.

[1434] It's nonstop.

[1435] You become so successful.

[1436] You're one of the very most successful singers of all time.

[1437] Take that opportunity and you sell 25 million albums and 45 million.

[1438] a million singles.

[1439] You go on, what, eight tours.

[1440] I have no idea.

[1441] A lot of places.

[1442] I saw really no cities, just the vignios in an airplane.

[1443] Well, I was going to ask you how touring life is for you.

[1444] I loved it in my 20s.

[1445] It was a very good time that I was like single, no children.

[1446] Would you bring friends with you?

[1447] Family, friends.

[1448] I don't know how people work in an environment where y 'all aren't friends.

[1449] You don't even work with, your band, your crew.

[1450] That becomes your road family and your friends as well.

[1451] And I'd bring family and friends out as well.

[1452] Did you learn to have fun on the road?

[1453] I guess that's my main question.

[1454] I had to learn because I'm also from that classically trained background where I was miserable for like the first and never talking and never going out and micromanaging myself.

[1455] I was not fun the first few years and then I got fun.

[1456] Okay.

[1457] And what were the tequila?

[1458] That'll help.

[1459] Yes.

[1460] They'll make things real fun fast.

[1461] Then I was burning brawls in the back of an amphitheater.

[1462] I was like, I'm frying my voice and I don't give a fuck.

[1463] Sorry Santa Antonio.

[1464] And you know what it turns out they don't really care either.

[1465] They're drinking tequila too.

[1466] Everyone's sipping on the same sauce.

[1467] Which of your peers are you most blown away by?

[1468] Pink.

[1469] That's the one.

[1470] What do you think about Adele?

[1471] Oh, I love Adele.

[1472] I mean, that was just my first.

[1473] Yeah, yeah, no, I like that.

[1474] I wasn't challenging it.

[1475] The thing that stands out for me about pink is I just love how real she is on and off camera.

[1476] She's the same person.

[1477] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1478] And I love how honest she is.

[1479] I love that she can be playful and sing like fun, silly songs, but also do these really cut you right to the bone songs.

[1480] Does she have the best voice?

[1481] I think that's subjective.

[1482] It is, right.

[1483] It's your personal taste.

[1484] Yeah.

[1485] I think of my generation, she's my favorite.

[1486] Oh, wow.

[1487] Are you guys pals?

[1488] I love her.

[1489] We don't barbecue regularly.

[1490] We both got two kids and like a lot going on, but I find a lot of commonalities with her and similarities.

[1491] Yeah, you guys seem similar.

[1492] I like, I just, I feel she's like a comfortable place for me. She's good people.

[1493] That's what we'd say.

[1494] She's good people.

[1495] But you know, many people would answer that question with you.

[1496] Of course.

[1497] Many people I know, you're our friend Jess's absolute favorite.

[1498] He is a singer and knows all the stuff.

[1499] and he thinks just technically you're perfect.

[1500] Oh, my gosh.

[1501] Well, I think the thing that I keep reading as I research you that people are most blown away with is your unique ability to hop into any fucking song.

[1502] I love different genres.

[1503] It's so frustrating when the industry forces artists who are innately limitless.

[1504] Like an artist does not want to be limited.

[1505] To say, this is your genre.

[1506] This is what you're doing.

[1507] The talk show has been the best form of that for me, just to be able to really attack different genres, whether it's, food fighters or rosemary cluny or whatever it is i just love all different styles of music you know a lot of people say oh man she's the artist that can do that i think there are a lot of other artists that can do that they just don't have the opportunity okay that's nice of you but i bet you're still the best at it yeah i think that's serious i know you're serious but also it's doesn't it's bullshit but it's cute it's really cute that you think that's kind yeah it's really big of you let's talk about the talk show that's a huge well it isn't it isn't i guess because you've done nine seasons of the voice, maybe?

[1508] Nine.

[1509] Which is incredible.

[1510] 2014 and now 23.

[1511] You took one year off maybe?

[1512] I took one year off because I did something of Snoop Dog.

[1513] Yeah.

[1514] Which, by the way.

[1515] I love working with him so much.

[1516] I need to know.

[1517] We need to stop whatever question I was asking because that is one of my questions.

[1518] Can I just give you backstory?

[1519] Yes.

[1520] I think I can talk to anybody.

[1521] In fact, I'm cocky and entitled.

[1522] I think I can get down with any group of people.

[1523] All right.

[1524] I think I'm that person too.

[1525] I've sensed that.

[1526] I think it's just like you like people.

[1527] Snoop is the only person I've ever been talking to.

[1528] where I got insanely self -conscious about how white I am.

[1529] I'm like, oh, my God, this, I sound like a newscaster.

[1530] I was like, I have no rhythm right now.

[1531] I was so intimidated.

[1532] Oh, wow.

[1533] Because you've been a fan for so long, right?

[1534] Yeah, I was overwhelmed.

[1535] He's got like nine things to say about you.

[1536] He's very generous.

[1537] Literally the person, by the way, that doesn't just talk to the famous people in the room.

[1538] That's what I love about him.

[1539] He talks to everyone.

[1540] Yeah.

[1541] The thing you like about Pink is the thing I like about Snoop, which is this dude has stayed the exact same, yet wandered into kids' movies, wandered into this, wandered into that.

[1542] While being a complete stoner, it's awesome.

[1543] Never losing who he is, being authentic, but traveling through every little group.

[1544] I think it's important because I think people will look at rappers and think limited.

[1545] And they're not once again.

[1546] Like, I think that people are capable of doing more than you're allowing them to live and be.

[1547] What's one behind the scenes thing that cracked you up a lot about Snoop?

[1548] First of all, I am astonished because anytime I've ever been high in my life, I can't work.

[1549] I can sit on a couch.

[1550] Like, it's called into couch for a reason.

[1551] So I've never been able to move.

[1552] And people are highly productive.

[1553] And it's almost like with their personality.

[1554] I need it.

[1555] It levels me, right?

[1556] And I've worked with actually a lot of artists that are like that.

[1557] So professional, on time, kind to everyone.

[1558] But this one time, because he would have to take a break because I think American Sanka does like two hours or something.

[1559] He's got to smoke every what half hour.

[1560] So he has to leave.

[1561] And he's got his own wheels that come in with his.

[1562] ride or whatever.

[1563] And he leaves during the live show.

[1564] They're like, oh, he'll be right back.

[1565] Yeah, he's got to use the bathroom.

[1566] It was hilarious.

[1567] But I think everyone knew.

[1568] It's like having Willie Nelson on set.

[1569] But he would come back.

[1570] And every time I was floored that he was just holding his own, like, stone.

[1571] It's impressive.

[1572] This is impressive.

[1573] But there was one time, it's a live show.

[1574] I don't remember if it was turned the wrong way or he's looking or he didn't see it.

[1575] I just picked it up and I just like kind of whatever.

[1576] I have to think he goes, oh, mama, thank you.

[1577] He was like, I'm so sorry.

[1578] I didn't see that.

[1579] I didn't see that.

[1580] And I I was like, I didn't want to interrupt you, but I was like, does he see that?

[1581] Is he with us?

[1582] Yeah.

[1583] But that happened once.

[1584] It's a live show.

[1585] Like, that's hard for people that aren't enabrated or stoned.

[1586] It was hysterical.

[1587] I love him, though.

[1588] I would work with him at any point.

[1589] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1590] Okay, back to the daytime talk show.

[1591] So I still think a really big swing.

[1592] It's not worked out for more people than it has worked out for.

[1593] Which I didn't know.

[1594] space probably great you didn't know that's why ignorance was bliss i had no idea statistically that i was doomed to fail they approached you they approached me i was on the voice and it was mbc and they were like hey we have this idea to do a talk show with you and i said okay no i was like i'm not a journalist i'm not a comedian i'm not even an actor i'm none of the things that i feel like those people are and they were like we just love your personality on the air and you're really good at engaging and We think you'd do really well.

[1595] Yeah, you know how to connect to people.

[1596] Yeah.

[1597] So I will say I'll give credit to my ex in the sense that he really pushed me to do the show.

[1598] What was it he saw in it for you that you weren't seen?

[1599] He just would always say, I just know you're going to be really great at it.

[1600] And I don't think he knew if I'd like it or not.

[1601] But I think he thought I would be great at it.

[1602] It's a very, very hard job.

[1603] It's really.

[1604] I don't think people realize.

[1605] Oh, no. I know people say that.

[1606] And look, I'm just going to be honest with you.

[1607] What a wonderful reveal.

[1608] I know.

[1609] It's really not.

[1610] You know why?

[1611] Tell me. You're great at talking.

[1612] If you enjoy talking, if you're a curious person naturally, you're communicative in general.

[1613] You surround yourself with a team of people that obviously do all the homework for you.

[1614] I don't know how to do that.

[1615] They go to school for that.

[1616] I'm the person on stage just implementing the plan.

[1617] And then also taking it where I want to because they're like, well, she didn't stick the script at all.

[1618] But I'm a naturally curious person.

[1619] I told them from the get go.

[1620] I'm not putting any pressure on myself.

[1621] This is not a job.

[1622] I ever thought I would accept that.

[1623] If you failed, you would have been able to dust off.

[1624] Yeah, so I'm just like, I'm going to go in here and I'm going to need you to let me be me and do it how I do it.

[1625] Because I can't be Oprah and I can't be Ellen.

[1626] I can't be any of those people.

[1627] So they let me incorporate it with music.

[1628] Real quick question.

[1629] So I interviewed Ellen about the same thing, which is she danced in the pilot of her talk show as a whim.

[1630] And they were like, that works.

[1631] You have to dance every show now.

[1632] And she came to hate dancing, that she had to do it.

[1633] So I'm wondering part of what you do is you sing a ton.

[1634] Yeah.

[1635] I'm 95.

[1636] 5 % of the time excited because I love music.

[1637] I still am a kid.

[1638] I'm not jaded at all in that sense.

[1639] Even when I suck, I'm like, well, try it.

[1640] Well, I like having sex, but if I had to fuck every day at 10 a .m., I would soon hate it.

[1641] Scheduled sex is not fun.

[1642] I would hate it.

[1643] So you might.

[1644] Send out an alert.

[1645] No PQs, anti -Qs.

[1646] No scheduled PQs.

[1647] Yeah.

[1648] So even something you love.

[1649] Yeah.

[1650] If you have to do it every single day.

[1651] Well, I think it's usually when I was doing the voice, the talk show, doing album stuff and being a mother, it was all that at once was a lot for me that I would be like.

[1652] And you do occasional performances as well that pop up, I'm sure.

[1653] We do.

[1654] We did implement, though, and we started in the first season.

[1655] We store up once that we record.

[1656] But also, sometimes we just do like a kelioki encore is what we call it.

[1657] And we just do a throwback because I'm like, guys, I can't today.

[1658] Yeah.

[1659] So it's not the day.

[1660] And that's okay.

[1661] Yeah, you've got to let yourself.

[1662] Yeah.

[1663] They've been very good and trusting.

[1664] So it's not a hard job.

[1665] Okay, great.

[1666] Yeah.

[1667] I'm glad to hear that.

[1668] I have friends who have similar jobs and the relentless, endless, five a week, that whole thing.

[1669] Well, mine's three days a week and we do two shows a day.

[1670] That's perfect.

[1671] Yeah, so it's like I get enough of a break.

[1672] Yeah.

[1673] Good.

[1674] I think also because it's not my main thing.

[1675] I mean, it is a main thing.

[1676] I just mean, I have other things going on to break up the monotony because tomorrow I'm going to be singing somewhere.

[1677] Today I'm doing this.

[1678] Yeah, I got you.

[1679] Now, since starting it, A, it's hugely successful.

[1680] They've renewed you to 2025.

[1681] Tons of Emmys right out of the gate you in.

[1682] Crazy.

[1683] You have a very charmed life.

[1684] And I'm sure you're aware of it.

[1685] But just the notion that you win Idol.

[1686] You sell a gazillion albums.

[1687] Okay, I didn't actually put these bullet points together.

[1688] Lots of Grammys.

[1689] You pop into TV.

[1690] I kind of sound like an asshole now.

[1691] No. There's a version where we would hate you, but we don't.

[1692] That's where I'm going with this.

[1693] You don't understand.

[1694] I literally said this on the way here today.

[1695] I was like, man, I forget because I'm interviewing people all the time now.

[1696] And I've been doing tons of interviews where I'm having to talk about myself.

[1697] And I'm like, kind of want to barf Kelly Clarkson right now.

[1698] That's why I've enjoyed a lot of this conversation, though, because it's not like just about the same thing I've been talking about.

[1699] It's about all things.

[1700] Well, I hope so.

[1701] I think that's enjoyable when people do that because it changes it up.

[1702] Okay.

[1703] So you do so much, all these shows we just said, congratulations on all of them.

[1704] Everything you do, you win an award for, and it's usually successful.

[1705] It's really crazy.

[1706] And I've lost way more awards than I've won.

[1707] Okay, okay.

[1708] I think if you weren't so approachable, you seem very normal and approachable and real, then people might hate you.

[1709] But people can relate to you.

[1710] So when you're winning, it feels good.

[1711] It's like, maybe I could win or something, which is totally wrong.

[1712] Yeah, no one else can win.

[1713] No one else can win.

[1714] There's nothing left for anyone to win.

[1715] It's true.

[1716] I have lost so much, you guys.

[1717] I think that's the hack, though.

[1718] Okay, so so much stuff.

[1719] And I guess I think I was a little unaware of how much stuff you've been doing.

[1720] I mean, it's so much stuff.

[1721] Yeah, I like to be busy.

[1722] It's nine seasons of the voice, and it's many seasons of your own show, and it's a Snoop Dog show, and it's eight albums, and it's eight tours, and it's now a new album.

[1723] How many days can you go doing nothing before you fucking lose your mind?

[1724] got to be an issue.

[1725] It is not.

[1726] It's not.

[1727] Every time I go to Montana, my entire crew is afraid I'm never going to come back.

[1728] You go off grid.

[1729] It's a solid guess that I might do.

[1730] Yeah.

[1731] Because I love being off grid.

[1732] But I am always like right now, I just built these four little one bedroom cabins for like family and friends if they come visit.

[1733] And like right now, I'm like planning for this outdoor movie thing that we can all do.

[1734] I'm planning for this party barn that we're doing and setting it all up.

[1735] I'm building a kitchen.

[1736] I'm always doing things because I like a project.

[1737] I like to be productive.

[1738] But I am very good at sitting in front of the fireplace and just sitting and checking out.

[1739] Okay, good.

[1740] That makes me feel a little better.

[1741] Sometimes I need help with that to slow down.

[1742] By way of tequila or marijuana, or phone to the couch.

[1743] Like just something, sometimes because I'm very like, you want to be able to dial everything down.

[1744] I feel like your wife's energy is similar to my, in the sense of, I feel like she goes.

[1745] She goes hard.

[1746] And she's like you where she just wakes up places and she can do it.

[1747] Like she'll wake up on a talk show and she's in the middle of reading a. thing.

[1748] You're like, okay, this is what I'm doing.

[1749] Yes.

[1750] No, I'm like that too.

[1751] I sometimes need like a glass wine, something to slow me down to where I can be still.

[1752] I've been aspiring towards you guys because anything that's coming up, I just have that sense of homework a lot.

[1753] And I think about what's coming up next.

[1754] And I've been trying over the last few years to literally just find out the night before what I'm doing the next day, which has been very helpful.

[1755] It's extremely helpful to not have the entire schedule in your face.

[1756] I'm able to, I'm capable of doing a lot more when it's just day by day.

[1757] Yes.

[1758] And then that requires you to trust people in your life to help you.

[1759] Implicitly.

[1760] Yes.

[1761] Okay.

[1762] So we talked about the premise of chemistry.

[1763] It's covering the full range, though.

[1764] It's like an emotional roller coaster of an entire relationship.

[1765] From the PQs to the desperation of loneliness and potentially feeling like you're going to be lonely forever and all those feelings.

[1766] Yeah.

[1767] I don't know.

[1768] There's not really a song like that.

[1769] I wish we had a metal prepared for you.

[1770] You haven't agreed with one thing I said, and I know, and I love it.

[1771] I'm very proud of you.

[1772] No, it's not, you know, because what I'm saying is it's not exactly like to where you feel like you'll be a loner's life because I don't think that there's necessarily anything wrong with that.

[1773] But I feel like to have of love like I never thought I was capable of, to have felt that and lose that.

[1774] You feel that loss.

[1775] It's devastating.

[1776] It's grief.

[1777] And so the stages of grief are on it.

[1778] I've had ultimate conviction that I have to end this.

[1779] This person feels differently than I do.

[1780] I go and end it.

[1781] It's miserable.

[1782] And then I leave and then like a day later, I'm like, hmm, maybe I'm super in love with them.

[1783] No, so that's like why the song I hate love exists.

[1784] And it's also a huge decision, especially if it's not just like a boyfriend, girlfriend, this is a marriage.

[1785] That means something.

[1786] This is a family.

[1787] This is affecting more than just myself.

[1788] So I think that's the thing that really is devastating is having to carry that weight of what is going to happen if you make this decision.

[1789] And honestly, a lot of the songs are me on the fence, you know, of how much more could I possibly give to try.

[1790] Am I depleted or is there room?

[1791] And I think that's the wonderful zone to explore because you're right.

[1792] Most songs are either about falling in love or breaking out.

[1793] And so often the bulk of it's like not really knowing.

[1794] Yeah, there's a song on the album called magic.

[1795] It feels magical and special.

[1796] How could I run away from that?

[1797] But at the same time, it's very unhealthy.

[1798] Also a big fear for me, at least when I've left really substantial relationships.

[1799] It's like, well, that'll never happen again.

[1800] I think because I never felt that before.

[1801] And having felt it once, I don't know.

[1802] I think I'm an optimist.

[1803] I think that I'm capable of that.

[1804] Oh, that's good.

[1805] Yeah.

[1806] A better version of that, I think.

[1807] A healthier version.

[1808] Yeah, a healthier version, for sure.

[1809] Okay, now back to L .A., what is unhealthy about it?

[1810] You've used the word unhealthy several times in your explanation for why you're leaving L .A. to go to New York.

[1811] What is the element that feels unhealthy?

[1812] I know it sounds silly, but not having seasons does affect me emotionally.

[1813] It's also the ever climbing of the ladder.

[1814] I just feel this energy that people are always trying to, And then you get sucked into it.

[1815] And it's like, when is enough enough?

[1816] Are you ever going to be satisfied?

[1817] I can answer that for you.

[1818] No, but yes.

[1819] Yeah, but it's like that's so hard.

[1820] I've been very blessed.

[1821] Like if right now my show got canceled or we didn't do it or nobody wanted to hear a record from Kelly Clarkson again, I'm fine.

[1822] I've built such a beautiful life.

[1823] And that's the thing, the privilege of being able to do it.

[1824] I think people lose side of that.

[1825] Even if you're able to be in one major movie, right?

[1826] Oh, yes.

[1827] That's incredible.

[1828] People would die to have that opportunity.

[1829] I think we get lost in that.

[1830] Society tells us that that's not successful or we tell ourselves that's not successful, but this person's successful.

[1831] And I bet you if you talk to that person, they're still thinking of what they haven't accomplished or they want more.

[1832] Like it's just this town has that vibe.

[1833] My hunch was some of that was in play because I live on this side of town, which is helpful.

[1834] There's no real billboards around me. I don't ever see them.

[1835] I go to Bel Air once in a while to go to an AA meeting and I drive down sunset.

[1836] And when I drive down sunset, I'm reminded.

[1837] of how triggering all of the billboards are.

[1838] It's everyone you know.

[1839] They're in all these different things.

[1840] I have the thought, I'm not on a billboard.

[1841] And you're also reminded by society that this is what success is.

[1842] And that's not true.

[1843] I know I'm at the risk of sounding like a self -help book right now, but it is incredible.

[1844] You should dip your toe into that water.

[1845] I'm sure you'd win a Pulitzer.

[1846] I'm sure I've read a billion.

[1847] My therapist, literally her one thing to me was like, you are not allowed to read self -help or anything you're going to educate yourself on.

[1848] I want you reading fiction.

[1849] Yeah.

[1850] It's just hard for me because I like learning.

[1851] But I don't want to just shit on it because it's also a very beautiful creative environment.

[1852] Big time.

[1853] At the risk of that is a constant craving for more.

[1854] One, it's not healthy, but two, that's not a happy life.

[1855] Right.

[1856] Why can't you just be happy for that person?

[1857] Like, okay, they're killing it on that.

[1858] In a dream world, you would get on an elevator in Montana and you would come out onto your soundstage.

[1859] In a dream world, they let me move the show to Montana and not New York.

[1860] Yes, yes.

[1861] And then you could just escape every other part of it.

[1862] Yes, because it comes back to that initial dream.

[1863] I wanted to be a background singer.

[1864] I did not handle fame well in my 20s.

[1865] It crushed me that I couldn't go anywhere and people would not notice me. Not the fact that like, oh, poor girl, that people notice her.

[1866] I had a certain point in my garage in Texas and I was like 24 and it was like, I can't take it back.

[1867] I had the same moment and it was also in Texas.

[1868] I went to a flood ruggers by myself and I noticed like, 90 % of the people in the restaurant were staring at me. And I was by myself.

[1869] And I felt so self -conscious.

[1870] And I went outside and called my girlfriend.

[1871] I'm like, I don't know what I did.

[1872] I don't want it.

[1873] Oh, I cried.

[1874] Like hardcore in my garage.

[1875] And my brother was like, should I call someone?

[1876] It was overwhelming in the thought that I could stop then and it's still going to be there.

[1877] You know, it's always going to be there.

[1878] So I learned to lean into that.

[1879] Well, you have to accept it.

[1880] You have to accept it.

[1881] Ultimately, you have to go and now what?

[1882] Because that's life.

[1883] Okay.

[1884] So my therapist has helped me through this.

[1885] for me, of course you won't agree.

[1886] A lot of me not being able to enjoy that attention is I didn't really feel worthy of it.

[1887] Okay, so a lot of mine is I feel guilty.

[1888] Why me?

[1889] Why did I make it out?

[1890] Why did I get to do this?

[1891] Like Survivor's guilt.

[1892] Yes.

[1893] And my business managers are my 20, they're like, you have to stop.

[1894] Because I'd feel guilty.

[1895] So I'd give everyone.

[1896] Yeah.

[1897] And then you have a lot of transactional relationships, which are very bad.

[1898] Yeah.

[1899] Yeah.

[1900] And then when people are texting or calling you, it just immediately changes.

[1901] Absolutely.

[1902] Yeah.

[1903] When the phone rings someone you normally love to talk to.

[1904] That's what normally happens.

[1905] Yeah.

[1906] Yeah.

[1907] You're like, oh, fuck.

[1908] This person I normally love getting a call from.

[1909] Yeah.

[1910] Now I'm nervous.

[1911] That sucks.

[1912] It's a bummer.

[1913] But my mom fixed that for me, by the way.

[1914] She gave me the best advice.

[1915] She said, in life, you can either be the person calling for help or the person giving help.

[1916] Just what one do you want?

[1917] Huh.

[1918] I guess I'd rather be getting called for help.

[1919] But in life, I think also you could be both.

[1920] You should be both.

[1921] Sure.

[1922] Am I disagreeing with you again?

[1923] No, no, no, no. The important thing was there was two players in this situation.

[1924] I just remind myself, well, you know, it could be worse.

[1925] I could be calling and asking for help.

[1926] That would actually be way more uncomfortable for me than providing help.

[1927] It's hard for you to ask.

[1928] Impossible.

[1929] I could be on fire.

[1930] You could be holding a hose and I wouldn't ask you to spray it on me. Man, I'd be like, pee on me. Do anything.

[1931] I'd be like, help me. We learned more opposites.

[1932] We could have perhaps been married.

[1933] I do know.

[1934] I'm like you, though, in the sense that I do love giving help.

[1935] Even the talk show, like going through a horrible divorce, going through COVID, going through all that those things at once.

[1936] It's nice to have to almost look outside yourself and focus on other people doing incredible things and other world issues going on.

[1937] It's nice because then it's not that you're necessarily not addressing it.

[1938] You're minimizing the power it has on you.

[1939] That's helpful too to focus on other people to kind of climb out as well.

[1940] It had been what six years or something since your last non -Christmas album, this album.

[1941] I remember.

[1942] I think it's around six or so years.

[1943] I often have this thought about art. This happens to comedians.

[1944] It happens to a lot of people.

[1945] It's like you're a comedian because you feel like an outsider.

[1946] You have a great perspective on everything and you can really skewer and poke at the things that are happening that you feel a little bit left out of.

[1947] But then you get invited into this party.

[1948] And in fact, you might even rise to have the power within the group.

[1949] And as your life becomes more and more comfortable and you're actually not the victim of any suppression from anyone else, it can kind of erode your comedic edge.

[1950] It can be kind of a death sentence for comedians to have a very comfortable life.

[1951] You're already honest about it, that the divorce did create this album.

[1952] What are your thoughts on suffering and art?

[1953] Unfortunately, my thoughts are what is reality.

[1954] From darkness comes a lot of light and comes a lot of art. I wrote a ton of music.

[1955] For me, it was just therapeutic.

[1956] And writing is a way of me figuring out honestly, like where I'm at and like how I feel.

[1957] Because sometimes I'm so bad at always seeing potential and like always seeing hope that that can really fuck me. But when I'm really, really happy, I don't tend to.

[1958] to write.

[1959] I listen to music differently when I'm very sad or very elated.

[1960] You pick different artists.

[1961] That's right.

[1962] They give life to the emotion I'm having that I can't articulate.

[1963] It's like, oh my God, here's this exact emotion I have existing in this song.

[1964] And I want to hear it over and over again because I recognize this.

[1965] And I feel connected and not alone because this exists.

[1966] And so I must feel the same way as that person at least.

[1967] I know.

[1968] And to connect like that is invaluable.

[1969] Isn't it interesting that you can hear the same song 10 years later?

[1970] and it completely hit you differently.

[1971] Like a song you've known since maybe childhood as well.

[1972] And then all of a sudden, you go through something and you're like, you know what?

[1973] That I actually get now.

[1974] And I thought I got it before.

[1975] Art in general, anything that moves people, anything that powerful has to come from something powerful.

[1976] And unfortunately, tragedy is powerful.

[1977] And it makes a big footprint on us.

[1978] Would you get down on yourself in periods of happiness where you weren't feeling as motivated to write?

[1979] No, because I'm not one of those artists and I'm not downing artists that do this.

[1980] but I've always written on my records, but I've also had other artists write on my records.

[1981] I didn't write stronger.

[1982] Ali Tamposy did.

[1983] There's incredible writers out there who are going through it.

[1984] They're going through their stuff and you can be the vessel for.

[1985] So, no, I would rather be happy.

[1986] Okay, great.

[1987] Through tragedy.

[1988] That's healthy.

[1989] Yeah, because I don't really mind if I ride it or not.

[1990] If I can connect to it, then I'll be the vessel for it.

[1991] Yeah.

[1992] I feel like you really don't have ego after this conversation, like at all, which is amazing.

[1993] Impossible.

[1994] I think you kill people.

[1995] See, I actually am.

[1996] I'm on the other place, Monica.

[1997] I'm like, this is, some stinks, some stinks.

[1998] No, I'm very boring.

[1999] It's very much this.

[2000] I'm not that exciting in that sense.

[2001] Well, you're the loveliest person to root for.

[2002] And I'm so delighted that you've had so much success because you were so daring.

[2003] No, it's wonderful.

[2004] I love it.

[2005] I love conversation.

[2006] I love other ideas.

[2007] This is why, you know when people always say, stay away from faith, stay away from politics, stay away from like the things that you shouldn't talk about.

[2008] Hot buttons.

[2009] I love hot buttons.

[2010] Oh, me too.

[2011] Same.

[2012] I love to hear people's thoughts on it.

[2013] I love if I disagree with you.

[2014] Why do you think that?

[2015] I think that's when you learn.

[2016] That's a confidence thing.

[2017] I'm totally secure in how I feel about it.

[2018] It's not going to hurt me to hear the contrary opinion or some criticism of it.

[2019] And I think it's scary when you can't.

[2020] I think it's when people don't really have full conviction about their opinion that they feel threatened by hearing something different.

[2021] Yeah.

[2022] Fear creates a lot of chaos.

[2023] But back to how easy it is to be a cheerleader for you.

[2024] I'm so delighted for you with all the success.

[2025] And I hope chemistry is enormous.

[2026] Oh, thank you.

[2027] Will you do a tour for it?

[2028] Well, you were going to do a residency right before COVID.

[2029] I was.

[2030] And it was actually a very different thing.

[2031] It was going to be the big kind of Vegas show.

[2032] So now I'm doing 10 shows starting the end of July.

[2033] It's more of an intimate rock and roll all about lighting and the music and the musicianship and the storytelling.

[2034] So it's more that kind of vibe because I felt like it fit more with this release.

[2035] No festivals or anything.

[2036] You're not popping in anywhere.

[2037] Well, I don't know.

[2038] We're kind of still trying to figure that out because I really love Montana.

[2039] Yeah.

[2040] And I'm trying to figure out what's the biggest thing we can do is where I don't have to work as much.

[2041] Look, I've worked so hard for so long.

[2042] I'm like, I deserve to actually enjoy this place.

[2043] I worked my ass off to pay for it.

[2044] Well, Kelly, this has been a blast.

[2045] So fun.

[2046] I know.

[2047] Thank you for having me. Yes, it was so lovely.

[2048] And I hope everybody listens to chemistry from beginning to end to go to the full range of emotions.

[2049] Yes.

[2050] From PQs to tears.

[2051] To tears.

[2052] All right, well, good luck with everything.

[2053] And thanks so much for coming in.

[2054] Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

[2055] Are you recording?

[2056] I'm recording.

[2057] I'm recording, yes.

[2058] Oh, wonderful.

[2059] Have you just come from supper?

[2060] You're kind of dressed up.

[2061] Yeah, I wear dresses in London.

[2062] Oh, you do?

[2063] Yeah.

[2064] That was decided before you got there, or when you arrived, you thought, I'm going to stick with these dresses.

[2065] Yeah, when I packed rapidly, I mainly packed.

[2066] dresses.

[2067] Oh, okay.

[2068] Well, they're a good item, right?

[2069] Because they, you pack a lot of them into a suitcase.

[2070] They get really tiny.

[2071] Uh -huh.

[2072] Uh -huh.

[2073] You didn't end up bringing a carry on, as you suggested you might.

[2074] Did you?

[2075] No, because you said reasonably that it made no sense, and that was correct.

[2076] And was your luggage out right when you cleared customs?

[2077] Did you have to wait at all?

[2078] Was I proven wrong?

[2079] Well, I peed, so I took a little break.

[2080] Your pants?

[2081] I peed my pants and then I had to deal with that, yeah, which took a minute.

[2082] No, I went through customs.

[2083] It was fine, but I did have to go to a special area.

[2084] Oh, why?

[2085] You were selected to screen?

[2086] I'm brown.

[2087] Well, come on now.

[2088] Is that what happened?

[2089] More security or just VIP treatment?

[2090] Now you do this weird thing where you put the passport, have you done this?

[2091] Yeah, or you probably did it when you were here.

[2092] In London, maybe.

[2093] Yeah.

[2094] You put your passport down on the screen and then they take your face and whatever, but it wasn't working.

[2095] And I think it was because I was too brown for the screen.

[2096] Not enough lighting in there to catch up all the details.

[2097] Yeah.

[2098] I think those customs things are only lit for white people.

[2099] Oh, man. I know.

[2100] A lot of white people in England, though.

[2101] I know, but I think that's fine.

[2102] It's kind of like the OW original whites.

[2103] And they have OR original racism.

[2104] Oh, O .C. Original colonists.

[2105] Colonialists.

[2106] Yeah.

[2107] Not to like, I don't want to, you know, I'm sure we have British listeners and so I don't want to poo poo or call them racist.

[2108] But I do think, you know, they have an idea about brown people in this country.

[2109] Because just because of the history, it's definitely a different, whoa, class.

[2110] Like, I don't even really know how to say it.

[2111] Of course, there's fancy Indian people.

[2112] Well, everywhere.

[2113] Yeah.

[2114] everywhere yeah the only indian people i know are rich yeah you know one no you don't you know two what's the other one i know more i probably know 10 but which what's the one you thought was the second you know ravi ravi madda i think that's a last name he has shortened or somebody in his family did right like padman correct which pari again you left out pari one of my friends oh yeah oh yeah so yeah you're right yeah you're You're not being very thorough.

[2115] You're right.

[2116] And you're doing better than me. What I have more Indian friends than you do.

[2117] Is that what you're saying?

[2118] Yes.

[2119] What have you done so far in London town?

[2120] Well, I got into town to my hotel around one.

[2121] Are you at the same hotel this time as your parents?

[2122] No. How far away are you?

[2123] They're like.

[2124] They're close.

[2125] They're about a 12 -minute walk.

[2126] Okay.

[2127] That's, they, look.

[2128] Look, look.

[2129] I feel like I talked about this, but maybe I did it because I'm sure I just got to your dad snars.

[2130] Oh, I'm definitely not.

[2131] You think I should stay in the same room?

[2132] Of course, yeah, in bed with them.

[2133] Preferably.

[2134] Right between the two of them so you can snuggle with both of them.

[2135] Apparently, my mom is wearing noise canceling.

[2136] headphones.

[2137] Oh, great.

[2138] I do that.

[2139] So that she can sleep.

[2140] Okay.

[2141] That's her solution.

[2142] She doesn't know that she also snores.

[2143] Maybe she thinks it's for my dad, but really it's her.

[2144] I don't know.

[2145] Funny enough, I don't think I snore much, but when I do snore, it wakes me up.

[2146] I like, I hear the noise.

[2147] I'm like, what the hell?

[2148] Who's in here with me?

[2149] I know.

[2150] It's so interesting because people don't know if they snore.

[2151] And I don't want to out hurt.

[2152] because I'm sure this will get back to her, and I'm sure she'll be upset.

[2153] So I really don't want to, but I think I have to for the truth.

[2154] You already said Kelly snores.

[2155] I did.

[2156] Yeah, when you guys, on the last couple fact checks ago about the sexy baby weekend, it was revealed that.

[2157] I said she snored?

[2158] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[2159] Are you sure I didn't just tell you that separately?

[2160] No, no, it was during the telecast.

[2161] Oh, damn.

[2162] Well, yeah, that's what I was going to say.

[2163] So she wears earplugs because Max snores.

[2164] See, all these people think that their partner snores and that that's why they have to, like, fix the issue.

[2165] But really, they also snore.

[2166] Everyone's snoring, yeah.

[2167] I guess everyone's snoring.

[2168] I don't think I really snore, but maybe I do, and I don't know.

[2169] Well, you said sometimes you wake yourself up with the snores.

[2170] Those are always, it's always the exact same thing.

[2171] It's always a nap.

[2172] It's only when I take a nap and I don't know why, but in a nap, mm -hmm.

[2173] That's why I don't nap.

[2174] Too much snoring.

[2175] It's a good reason not to nap.

[2176] Anyway, so you're in a dress.

[2177] Did you go out to the fancy supper?

[2178] No, because we had high tea and everyone got full.

[2179] Oh, at tea.

[2180] Did you have a bunch of little sandwiches and stuff?

[2181] Yeah.

[2182] Yeah.

[2183] Has your dad ever been to London?

[2184] If you ask them, have you been to London?

[2185] They say, yeah, just the airport.

[2186] It's like, that's not, you can't.

[2187] No. I have not been to Dubai just because I had a layover there.

[2188] So this is their first time.

[2189] And they are really liking it.

[2190] It's so great, right?

[2191] Yeah.

[2192] It's really.

[2193] Is the weather nice?

[2194] So nice.

[2195] Sunny, hot.

[2196] Oh.

[2197] Like, good.

[2198] Yeah.

[2199] Good shopping weather.

[2200] I don't think we're going to have rain.

[2201] Good shot.

[2202] I've already done some damage.

[2203] Oh, okay.

[2204] Who was making you?

[2205] Oh, Lizzie was going to make you a list of shopping wrecks, Lizzie Kaplan.

[2206] Didn't happen.

[2207] I know.

[2208] And it didn't happen.

[2209] And she also, you know, poo poohed on Lena stores.

[2210] Yeah, I don't understand that at all.

[2211] Do you have a res for Lena Stores?

[2212] Have you already been?

[2213] We went last night.

[2214] First dinner.

[2215] Was it so good?

[2216] It was so good.

[2217] And then I got anxious, right?

[2218] So I have to just admit it.

[2219] Once she put that in my head.

[2220] Okay.

[2221] You starting, yeah.

[2222] Power suggestion.

[2223] It was a little peer pressure, but I wasn't peer pressure enough for me not to go, but it was peer pressure enough for me. To be critical while you were.

[2224] were there.

[2225] Exactly.

[2226] And it was still amazing.

[2227] Okay.

[2228] And it wasn't as quaint.

[2229] Like, they've opened new locations.

[2230] Uh -huh.

[2231] Sure.

[2232] So it's not as quaint as it was when we first went.

[2233] Okay.

[2234] All right, then.

[2235] So it was still delicious.

[2236] It was still delicious, but that voice was on my head.

[2237] Yeah, yeah, sure.

[2238] It finds its way in there.

[2239] Well, I went to the motorcycle track.

[2240] You did.

[2241] How was it?

[2242] In Northern California.

[2243] A couple things.

[2244] Have you ever been to Chico, California?

[2245] I don't think so.

[2246] You've heard of it, I'm sure, because Chico State, right?

[2247] Is there California State?

[2248] Well, I've heard of it because of the pants.

[2249] Oh, there's a brand of pants named Chico?

[2250] Yeah.

[2251] Oh.

[2252] It was a huge brand.

[2253] Oh, my God.

[2254] Did you have many pairs?

[2255] Oh, maybe I'm thinking of Chino.

[2256] Okay, that's a kind of pant.

[2257] A chino is a style of pant.

[2258] Yeah.

[2259] Like Banana Republic has chinos.

[2260] There's a lot of chinos.

[2261] Is it a khaki pant?

[2262] It is actually a city.

[2263] It's Chico and there's a state university there, but it's a quaint little town and there's a main street and it goes on forever and I took myself about a six mile walk and I stumbled into, they have a Barton Springs there.

[2264] What?

[2265] Yes, they have a bit of river that's dammed up and it's grassy banks and cement walls.

[2266] It's Barton Springs.

[2267] Oh, my God.

[2268] In Chico, and the whole city is completely tree -lined and shady and small -towny.

[2269] You feel like you're in, like, Mount Montgomery or something.

[2270] It's incredible.

[2271] Wow.

[2272] That was a revelation.

[2273] I had no idea that Chico was so wonderful.

[2274] And then went to Thunder Hill, the racetrack that I love.

[2275] It's one of my favorite.

[2276] God, I don't know.

[2277] It's up there.

[2278] It's fantastic.

[2279] Oh.

[2280] Road the new Kawasaki Ninja X -X -4R, positive and negative, okay?

[2281] Uh -oh.

[2282] Incredible new motorcycle.

[2283] But what you wouldn't remember is that I had a Ninja 400 built by this guy, Jesse Norton, San Diego, who builds race motorcycles, and I love it.

[2284] It's so incredible.

[2285] It's what I switched to after my big off on the 1 ,000.

[2286] Love that motorcycle.

[2287] It was pretty pricey to have it built.

[2288] And what did Kawasaki do?

[2289] They went and came out with one, a whole new model.

[2290] That's virtually the one I had built.

[2291] Very expensive build.

[2292] Now is just stock.

[2293] It's incredible.

[2294] In line four, dual disc brakes, incredible.

[2295] And then the highlights, because it was the launch of the motorcycle.

[2296] So it was all journalists.

[2297] It was 11 journalists and me. And on top of it, these 11 journalists have been riding together for some of them several decades, but all of them 10 years.

[2298] because every time there's a, you know, a motorcycle launch, they all get flown to a racetrack, half the guy's race, whatever.

[2299] They're kind of a tight -knit group.

[2300] And there were two great French -Canadian motorcycle journalists there.

[2301] They were very, very French -Canadian.

[2302] And the one guy was a good -sized man. He would remind you of, like, Deppardue.

[2303] Remember that actor?

[2304] George Deppardue, is that his name?

[2305] I sort of recognize it, but I don't know him.

[2306] He was a husky, handsome man. He, like, pulled me aside, and he said, you know, we don't.

[2307] ride with any strangers.

[2308] This group, we don't like outsiders.

[2309] You can ride with us any time.

[2310] Oh, wow.

[2311] That's really flattering.

[2312] This was after a couple sessions.

[2313] Yes.

[2314] So he told me I could ride with them any time.

[2315] And then I got a couple of really nice compliments from these guys, which I just, of course, you know, all I'm trying to do is win glory as a motorcycle champ.

[2316] So, oh, such a fun day.

[2317] So much fun.

[2318] And then drove 910 miles yesterday in the bus.

[2319] But you love driving.

[2320] I fucking love driving.

[2321] And they all wanted me to stop.

[2322] And I'm like, I'm not stopping this bus until we are there virtually.

[2323] I'm going to send you a photograph.

[2324] Okay.

[2325] Maybe we'll post this because it's worth seeing.

[2326] I think.

[2327] Let's see.

[2328] Da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da.

[2329] All right, let's see how long it takes these to get to England, London, England.

[2330] I mean, tech is pretty good, but I think we're going to look at like four to six hours.

[2331] but we'll see.

[2332] Did it come through?

[2333] No. Oh, now it's here.

[2334] Oh, my gosh.

[2335] Oh, my God.

[2336] This is so exciting.

[2337] This is just in from America.

[2338] Oh, God.

[2339] Yeah, zoom in.

[2340] What's happening?

[2341] I know your eyesight isn't great.

[2342] Yeah.

[2343] Are those bugs?

[2344] Yes.

[2345] The amount of bugs on my windshield was absolutely impossible.

[2346] I simply couldn't see out the window.

[2347] No, this is so disturbing.

[2348] This feels like apocalypse.

[2349] Locus, something biblical.

[2350] Ew, what are they?

[2351] They're bugs, Monica.

[2352] Those are bugs.

[2353] Why?

[2354] What kind?

[2355] Scary bugs, the kind that'll kill you if you let them in.

[2356] I hate that.

[2357] Oh.

[2358] I pulled into a gas station, a truck stop at 12 .30 a .m. And started cleaning that window.

[2359] And it took 25 minutes for me to get it where I could see.

[2360] Did you eat any of the bugs?

[2361] I ate all of them.

[2362] You know, they're supposed to be really high in protein.

[2363] Yeah, and you have a high protein diet.

[2364] I have demands, yeah, protein demands.

[2365] Yeah, I just scraped it off the little squeegee and collected them in a bowl.

[2366] Ew.

[2367] I bet you there really was over a pound of bugs on there.

[2368] Well, you've seen that photo.

[2369] Yeah, that's crazy.

[2370] That is really crazy.

[2371] So then we slept at the Walmart parking lot in Idaho Falls, which we love our Walmart parking.

[2372] That's where we always camp.

[2373] And I woke up this morning and not right when I woke up, but I heard Kristen outside of the bus talking to a man that it introduced himself his Eaglehead.

[2374] Oh boy.

[2375] Okay.

[2376] And he told her a tale that went on for 25 minutes.

[2377] I kept thinking, do I need to go out and, like, give her an excuse to get out of this?

[2378] Or is this one of these things she likes?

[2379] I don't know.

[2380] She has a lot of tolerance for this type of thing.

[2381] She does, yeah.

[2382] But he had a lot of lawsuits pending.

[2383] He was living in his van in the parking lot with a woman, but he wanted her to know.

[2384] It was just plutonic.

[2385] Like, door basically doors wide open.

[2386] Don't let that older lady.

[2387] I'm shacked up within my van, fool you.

[2388] I'm on the market.

[2389] Sure.

[2390] He has options as a person living in.

[2391] the Walmart parking lot.

[2392] That's right.

[2393] That's right.

[2394] So yeah, I dig it because you never know who you're going to bump into.

[2395] Did you push some Hello Bellow diapers since he's in the Walmart parking lot and they have him in there?

[2396] We bought some Hello Bellow's sleep gummies.

[2397] Oh, good.

[2398] So we didn't get him to buy any, but we spent our own money on them.

[2399] It's good to support small business, especially if that is your own business.

[2400] Yeah, it's really important to go buy all the products you sell if you want to make money.

[2401] Yeah, it is.

[2402] Yeah.

[2403] Sure is.

[2404] Wow.

[2405] Okay.

[2406] And then so then you got in and tell people where you are.

[2407] I am at South Fork Lodge, which is Jimmy Kimmel's fishing lodge.

[2408] We have a guest coming up that we talk a lot about it.

[2409] Who's also been there.

[2410] So yeah, we woke up there and then we got into the lodge this morning at like 11 and set up the bus and put the pop outs out and all that.

[2411] Took the motorcycles off the back so we can ride.

[2412] And yeah, it's unbelievable.

[2413] beautiful.

[2414] There's birds everywhere.

[2415] I've seen blue jays and robins already and the weather's perfect.

[2416] I don't know what it is.

[2417] Maybe you can relate.

[2418] L .A. never feels like summer, ever.

[2419] It's not like I ever get that fun summer feeling, but we stopped at an in -and -out in Utah last night in the bus and just sitting outside with it like 75 degrees at night.

[2420] There's something about the way it smells.

[2421] I was like, oh, my God.

[2422] I'm reminded that I'm euphoric for summer.

[2423] when I'm in it.

[2424] But you don't get that in L .A. You don't.

[2425] It is a very special type of balmyness or something.

[2426] I don't know that even on our most beautiful days, we don't have that.

[2427] No. Are you getting that in London?

[2428] No. I'm happy it's sunny because we've had so much horrible unsunnyness.

[2429] Yeah.

[2430] So in that way, yes.

[2431] But it's not like a Georgia summer.

[2432] Even when I was home a couple months ago for whenever I was home, that had that.

[2433] Like, yes, I was outside.

[2434] It was hot and it was humid, which is gross, but great.

[2435] And then also bird.

[2436] Like, yeah, it's a different thing.

[2437] Oh, it's a different thing.

[2438] But that's good.

[2439] I'm glad you have that.

[2440] Yeah, yeah.

[2441] Fun.

[2442] Are you going to go on any major excursions later today?

[2443] Not today.

[2444] I'm going to cold plunge in the Snake River.

[2445] I'm going to work out next to the bus.

[2446] And then I'm going to shoot the shit with people and slam some Ted Seeger.

[2447] I brought a couple cases at Ted Seeger.

[2448] So perfect place for Ted Seeger's.

[2449] Oh, it's made for river drinking.

[2450] What do you guys have planned?

[2451] Well, let's see.

[2452] Well, we did high tea.

[2453] I'd like to do one or two more high teas.

[2454] You love your high tea.

[2455] Well, I love tea.

[2456] Yeah, especially if it's high.

[2457] Exactly, especially.

[2458] And they like tea because they're Indian, you know.

[2459] Okay.

[2460] And we're not, I mean, there's no major major, but I think we're going to go to Portobello market, which we just.

[2461] when we were there.

[2462] I think we're going to go there tomorrow and kind of walk around.

[2463] That's where we got separated.

[2464] Eric and I, yeah.

[2465] Yes, yes, yes.

[2466] And everyone just started walking back towards where everyone came from at some point.

[2467] Well, yeah, yes.

[2468] Yes, we definitely got separated.

[2469] You guys ended up walking like four hours home or something insane.

[2470] Uh -huh, barefoot.

[2471] But you liked it, barefoot, exactly.

[2472] Exactly.

[2473] Isn't your dad into footing now, whatever it's called earthing?

[2474] He is.

[2475] Can you think you could recommend that he walked through the city with his shoes off?

[2476] No, I'm not.

[2477] It's not going to happen.

[2478] They, you know, since I haven't been, they need to do some sightseeing.

[2479] I leave a day early, and so they might need to do that that day because I have zero interest in the London eye.

[2480] But can't sightseeing and London just amount to walking around, what you love doing?

[2481] Yes.

[2482] Yes.

[2483] So I think either we'll be passing some of the stuff slash if they want to really commit, that might be the day I'm not there, or that might be the couple hours I'm getting a massage.

[2484] Oh, okay, wonderful, wonderful.

[2485] What hotel are you at?

[2486] I'm at the Conet or Cannot.

[2487] I don't know how you pronounce it.

[2488] Oh, confit.

[2489] It's the duck confit hotel.

[2490] Yes, duck confit.

[2491] It is.

[2492] It is.

[2493] Do a pan.

[2494] It is so nice.

[2495] Do a quick pan for me, would you?

[2496] Okay.

[2497] Well, the room is not huge because I have the, I have the cheapest room in the hotel.

[2498] Okay.

[2499] There's my bed.

[2500] Oh, it's a little guy.

[2501] Yeah, it's a little guy.

[2502] But enough space for little me. Sure, you probably have plenty of room in that little bed.

[2503] Oh, yeah, but it's got nice silver stuff.

[2504] It's really nice.

[2505] It's really, really nice.

[2506] And it's a Jean -George restaurant downstairs.

[2507] I've already asked to buy the candle that's in the lot.

[2508] Bobby, you know.

[2509] Yeah, all this is the standard Monica things, trying to buy all the items that are in the restaurant.

[2510] Exclusive.

[2511] Yeah.

[2512] I ran into a beautiful arm cherry today.

[2513] You did in London.

[2514] Mm -hmm.

[2515] An American or a Brit?

[2516] Ah.

[2517] Apparently, there's a Cardinals game.

[2518] In London.

[2519] A baseball game.

[2520] Yes.

[2521] When I went through the racist customs detour, yeah.

[2522] There was a guy there, and he, was very American and he was saying he was going to the baseball game and I was like what is he yeah yeah they don't do you say they don't play that here yeah I was like someone should definitely take him into another room because that's obviously a lie yeah bad cover story what are you doing here oh to see monster jam monster truck show yeah but apparently it's a thing and the arm cherry was there with her son and they were going to the game oh fun really cute lovely Who is this about?

[2523] This is for Ms. Kelly Clarkson.

[2524] Oh, Casey.

[2525] Casey's, that's good initials to have.

[2526] I might even go by Casey if I were her in my friendship circle.

[2527] Oh, yeah.

[2528] Yeah, that's good.

[2529] Oh, I did want to mention because this morning I had breakfast at the hotel and they had soft boil eggs with bread soldiers.

[2530] What are bread soldiers?

[2531] Little sticks of bread.

[2532] Oh, and you just poke the.

[2533] Yoke and dipping out?

[2534] Well, that's for poached.

[2535] But for soft -boiled, you know, it's like the egg and then the top is off.

[2536] Oh, cut off, right.

[2537] You dip the soldiers in the egg.

[2538] Oh, is it delicious?

[2539] Yeah, I love it.

[2540] And now you should try it since you eat eggs now.

[2541] I know.

[2542] I'm eating all the eggs.

[2543] Anytime they put them in front of me now, I'm gobbling them up.

[2544] Yeah, you got to try a soft -boiled.

[2545] Okay.

[2546] Oh, my God.

[2547] This is kind of a ding, ding, ding.

[2548] I didn't even mean it.

[2549] But she, this was funny.

[2550] You said something about what a burger, or you were telling the story about being there.

[2551] And then she kind of, she said it under her breath.

[2552] So I don't think you heard it, but it really made me laugh.

[2553] She said, oh, is that when the breakfast tequitos came out?

[2554] Oh, okay.

[2555] I didn't hear it.

[2556] No, I didn't hear that.

[2557] And I laughed because, you know, it's like, oh, that must have been a big deal.

[2558] Breakfast tequitos.

[2559] They came out with the breakfast tequitos.

[2560] So I looked up when they came out.

[2561] Well, by the way, my story took place in 1992.

[2562] I was still in high school.

[2563] What a burger has served breakfast since 1979 and added tequitos to the menu in the early 1980s.

[2564] Oh, okay.

[2565] So then they were definitely available.

[2566] Although we were there in the evening.

[2567] I don't think they were making breakfast.

[2568] No, no, no. They gained popularity in 1982 and Whataburger began operating all of its restaurants 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and offering breakfast overnight.

[2569] Oh, okay, okay.

[2570] So I guess it's like their thing.

[2571] I missed the boat.

[2572] I could have gotten a nice breakfast to keto.

[2573] You could have apparently.

[2574] Regrets, regrets.

[2575] They're piling up.

[2576] Okay.

[2577] So you said something about urban cowboy.

[2578] Oh, the movie Urban Cowboy, Travolta, and Deborah Winger.

[2579] And I think you said they went to Whataburger.

[2580] No, no, they went to Billy Bobbs.

[2581] They shot in Billy Bobbs, but they weren't calling it, Billy Bowler.

[2582] bubs.

[2583] Oh, okay.

[2584] I thought you said, what a burger?

[2585] And I looked, obviously, I couldn't find it.

[2586] But also, the main place is Ninfa's restaurant chain in Houston.

[2587] I bet that's when he gets taken out by a rich woman at one point.

[2588] They're on a break.

[2589] And she's shacked up with this very violent, terrible man. And he goes out with a very fancy blonde who's rich.

[2590] She has a Mercedes.

[2591] She must have taken them to this place.

[2592] And is it this clip that you like?

[2593] This is hard to do over.

[2594] Yeah, I can't wait to watch.

[2595] You try.

[2596] Okay, uh -oh.

[2597] Okay.

[2598] All right, here it is.

[2599] Oh, my God.

[2600] Monica is a downpour out of nowhere right now.

[2601] Really?

[2602] Yeah.

[2603] Let's see if I can show you some things.

[2604] Oh, my God.

[2605] But it's sunny.

[2606] Is it a sun shower?

[2607] The devil's beating the shit out of his wife.

[2608] Oh, wow.

[2609] That really is out of nowhere.

[2610] Oh, wow.

[2611] See, that's what happens in real summer.

[2612] Right.

[2613] You get dramatic weather.

[2614] Yeah.

[2615] Surprises you.

[2616] That's nice.

[2617] Oh, that is Travolta.

[2618] Yeah, and she got ham and eggs and extra onion.

[2619] Oh.

[2620] No, see, I wasn't even thinking of any of the restaurant scenes.

[2621] I was thinking about when they go out dancing at Billy Bob's and they write a mechanical bowl in the movie.

[2622] That's the big.

[2623] Got it.

[2624] Thunder and a lightning.

[2625] Oh, my God.

[2626] No, it's healing, Monica.

[2627] Oh, my, hailing.

[2628] Holy, what if you just watch me get sucked up into a tornado?

[2629] Oh, my God, that'd be a first.

[2630] Hailing, that feels more winter.

[2631] Yeah, well, it's going to snow in a second, I think.

[2632] Oh, my God.

[2633] Oh, my God.

[2634] How exciting.

[2635] Okay, so she was correct about her lyrics.

[2636] She was.

[2637] I can't really remember.

[2638] She said I can't really remember, but she was correct.

[2639] Okay.

[2640] And so good for her.

[2641] Great.

[2642] She got it.

[2643] She's ready to tour.

[2644] Yep.

[2645] She was also right that Frank Sinatra won a singing contest.

[2646] Like, that's how he got his start.

[2647] Oh, no kidding.

[2648] Yeah.

[2649] He was in a local singing group as the Hoboken Four won a talent competition in 1935 on the popular radio program, Major Bowes Amateur Hour.

[2650] Oh, I love Major Bowes Amateur Hour.

[2651] Can't get enough of it.

[2652] Very trusted brand.

[2653] Yeah.

[2654] Nobody knows amateurs.

[2655] Bo.

[2656] Okay.

[2657] Now this fact took me a sec. Okay.

[2658] Okay.

[2659] And it was getting frustrating, but I figured it out.

[2660] And then that was very rewarding.

[2661] She said, there's a type of movie.

[2662] They were trying to make Justin and Kelly like.

[2663] Oh, yeah.

[2664] And she was like, they're like beach blanket movies and they're Frankie Valley and Avonaccilli.

[2665] And I'm, you know, I'm typing in Frankie Valley and Von Acelli.

[2666] And then I'm just trying to look at Frankie Valley.

[2667] Because my mother refers to those.

[2668] is Beach Blanket movies as well?

[2669] I, yes, then I looked at Beach Blanket.

[2670] So eventually I was able to get there.

[2671] Okay.

[2672] They're called Beach Party Films.

[2673] Oh, Beach Party Films, great.

[2674] There's a whole genre.

[2675] It's Frank Avalon.

[2676] Frankie Avalon, sure.

[2677] Yes.

[2678] And a woman named Annette Funicello.

[2679] Oh, wonderful.

[2680] So anyway, Frankie Avalon.

[2681] That rings a bell.

[2682] Funicello Beach Party film.

[2683] Did your mom, does she have any reference point for those?

[2684] Probably not.

[2685] She's too young.

[2686] My mom, those were very impactful.

[2687] My mom brings those up all the time.

[2688] Oh, I should ask.

[2689] I don't know.

[2690] I'm going to FaceTime your mom after this.

[2691] See what's happening at their hotel.

[2692] They're staying.

[2693] Okay, this is what happened.

[2694] Okay, tell me what happened.

[2695] They wanted to stay in an Airbnb.

[2696] Okay, right.

[2697] And I didn't want to do that.

[2698] I want to stay in a nice hotel.

[2699] Yeah, it's your big vacation.

[2700] Yeah.

[2701] And when I'm in here, Europe especially, I don't want to stay in Airbnb.

[2702] I don't know why.

[2703] Me either.

[2704] But it's not like our pod trips or something.

[2705] Like that is different.

[2706] Yeah.

[2707] But when I'm on a real vacation vacation, I want a hotel.

[2708] I just don't want to deal with all the inconveniences of life.

[2709] And the hotel does that, takes care of it.

[2710] Also, I was concerned about saying an Airbnb because a lot of places here are kind of like L .A. don't have central air right of course they're old as hell and it doesn't get that hot very long exactly and i was like it's probably going to be hot and it is so i was right about that and so anyway they were like okay you book the hotel you want to book and we'll figure it out basically so then i booked my hotel then a while after that they were going to book this Airbnb but then they changed their mind and they also booked a hotel oh um why they're close what and why and why Did they change their mind last minute?

[2711] Well, my brother decided not to come.

[2712] I think that was a part piece of it.

[2713] Uh -huh.

[2714] Because that would have been an extra room probably.

[2715] Right.

[2716] Yes, that makes sense.

[2717] So all of it makes sense.

[2718] But anyway, so they're staying, and I think this is hard for them, right?

[2719] They don't ever spend money on hotels and stuff.

[2720] Right.

[2721] Yep.

[2722] They never indulge like that.

[2723] Yeah.

[2724] But they did, like they're staying at a nice hotel.

[2725] that's expensive.

[2726] Yeah.

[2727] And they're underwhelmed.

[2728] Uh -huh.

[2729] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2730] Well, Europe is a little underwhelming price tag -wise.

[2731] Yeah, it's just so expensive.

[2732] And everything's kind of smaller than you're used to.

[2733] Exactly.

[2734] Yeah.

[2735] And especially if you're them.

[2736] Like, they don't travel like that very often.

[2737] So they don't, yeah.

[2738] So I think they're a little underwhelmed by that related to the price.

[2739] Uh -huh.

[2740] So your brother didn't come because he had to work?

[2741] Yeah.

[2742] Yeah, but I do miss him, and I do wish she was here if he hears this, which he doesn't.

[2743] He won't.

[2744] He gave me three fires on one of my posts.

[2745] I appreciated it the other day.

[2746] Oh, that's nice.

[2747] Was it for Chris Paul?

[2748] Oh, probably.

[2749] Yeah, that makes sense.

[2750] He's an athlete guy.

[2751] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2752] Hip hop and NBA, the whole nine.

[2753] He knows it all.

[2754] He's inside now.

[2755] Let me see.

[2756] Oh, wait, did I miss any facts?

[2757] Well, I was going to play.

[2758] her full audition but is that her full audition for what Kelly Clarkson's audition for American Idol oh play yeah play yeah play some of it yeah I'll play some I did looking back at it it's so funny when you know about someone and then you look back because her charisma is so dead like it's so the same she's the same that's cool it is it is a lot of the people you go back and you're like, well, they're not even the same person.

[2759] But I don't like that.

[2760] And even like, oh, they were shy then and now they found them.

[2761] So it's not that.

[2762] Like she's fully.

[2763] Full blast.

[2764] She's full blast.

[2765] She's full blast.

[2766] She's full blast.

[2767] Okay.

[2768] All right.

[2769] Let's try it.

[2770] Just in case our next contestant doesn't hit the big time.

[2771] Kelly Clarkson has a backup plan.

[2772] This is unique.

[2773] I like this.

[2774] Is that a skirt?

[2775] This used to be our pants.

[2776] These Call it a hunch, but we don't think Kelly is going to need that plan.

[2777] Hello, Kelly.

[2778] Hello.

[2779] How old are you?

[2780] I'm a big fan of you, by the way.

[2781] Yeah, I'm 20.

[2782] I just turned 20 this April.

[2783] Oh, well, happy birthday.

[2784] How happy birthday.

[2785] Where do you get to sing today?

[2786] I'm saying, Express Your Soul.

[2787] I'm Donna.

[2788] All righty.

[2789] You don't need diamond rings or 18 -carried gold.

[2790] that go very fast you know they never last no no what you need is a big strong hand to lift you to your higher good job korey randy she keeps saying cool beans i love that song i worked on that song madonna you did a very good job I think you should try out They're like switching seeds Oh, she's so confident, yeah I'll stop, but she is really comfortable She's the same, you're right That's just the same Mormon that came into the attic I know, it's fun, I like it She's very much herself and I appreciate it All right, well that is Kelly I miss you I'm so glad you're in London wearing dresses and shopping and having fun.

[2791] I'm so glad you're enjoying the hail and the weather catastrophe.

[2792] I'm about to vanish, yes.

[2793] Or last fact check.

[2794] All right, love you.

[2795] Have fun.

[2796] Tell your mom and dad.

[2797] I said hi, and I love them.

[2798] I will.

[2799] All right.

[2800] Bye.

[2801] Bye.

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