The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz XX
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[14] This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats podcast.
[15] Chris in the break was all flustered and all like...
[16] He was.
[17] He was huffing and puffing.
[18] I said, what's wrong with you, man?
[19] He said, I want to talk about Mike White.
[20] You can see this?
[21] I just, like, is this dude even in the league?
[22] Yeah, he's on a practice squad.
[23] He was with the Dolphins.
[24] He was fighting for this backup with Skylar Thompson.
[25] Right.
[26] Mike White has a bigger contract than Skylar Thompson, so the Dolphins just made the decision.
[27] We're going to keep the cheaper guy.
[28] So they let Mike White go.
[29] Some were expecting him to clear waivers and come back and be like our third string for cheaper.
[30] But someone picked him up for their practice squad.
[31] Imagine that.
[32] The Buffalo Bills.
[33] And look, I get this from the Buffalo Bills perspective.
[34] SPNR.
[35] Hey, this guy knows the entire playbook for our biggest rival.
[36] Let's bring him in.
[37] But if you're Mike White, do you play ball?
[38] Of course.
[39] You've been friends, like, there's no, like, there's no relationships here.
[40] Like, you're just like, oh, Bills, I've hated you for a year because I've been on the Dolphins, but I'm just going to, oh, come right.
[41] It's not just that.
[42] He's from South Florida.
[43] Here's all of our signals.
[44] Here's all of our, I know you're using me. Like, if I'm Mike White, I'm like, I better be on the 53 man roster or I better get, like, double the practice salary, the practice squad salary, because I know why you're bringing me in here.
[45] Chris, you said he's from South Florida, right?
[46] What if he's a double agent?
[47] The Dolphins cut him.
[48] Wow, it's a job.
[49] Knowing that the bills now need a backup because I think Mitch Trubisky, did Mitch Trubisky get hurt in the preseason, Tony?
[50] Yeah.
[51] So they need backup.
[52] Just telling all the wrong signals.
[53] They need a backup.
[54] So they pick up Mike White.
[55] He's going to either lie or he might steal some of Buffalo's signals and send them back to Miami.
[56] Maybe he's just a double agent.
[57] Miami may have planned this all along.
[58] Guys, if like if I get let go from here and I end up like in the, the practice squad for Pat McAfee, I'm not giving up all the goods.
[59] I've developed relationships with all you people.
[60] You think I'm just going to go in and tell Pat McAfee everything about Stugats, all his secrets?
[61] So you leave here and you intern for the Pat McAvey show?
[62] I'm just a career choice.
[63] But you wouldn't give away the secrets is what you're saying.
[64] I would aim a little higher.
[65] I'm just doing a hypothetical.
[66] Okay, but you wouldn't give away the secrets.
[67] Hold on, Chris.
[68] I would at least, I would know, okay, you're bringing me in clearly to get to see how the Levitart sausage is made here.
[69] So I'm going to negotiate that.
[70] I'm going to be like, pay me double the practice squad guy.
[71] Give me a guarantee that I'll be on, like, I don't know.
[72] But you're a starter here, Chris.
[73] Like, you're a starter on this team.
[74] I'm just trying to find an example.
[75] But it's true, but to just his point, what if we sent Chris to the McAfee Show to tell them...
[76] Or Dan Patrick.
[77] Or Dan Patrick.
[78] To give him bad ideas.
[79] Bad ideas.
[80] Yeah.
[81] And then he just get to do what he's doing right now.
[82] Okay.
[83] If there was a head coach I could think of in the NFL that would try to deploy this strategy, it would be Mike McDaniel.
[84] So what do you have to slide?
[85] Like, if you're someone at the Dolphins, you slide Mike White like a million dollar check under the table and you just say here's a milly someone from the dolphins has to tell mcdaniel listen we know the bills will sign them if you release them we know it we know it and then you release them and then mike white and then mike white joins the bills but you're paying mike white the dolphins hard to be on the buffalo bills i just know that first practice if i'm mike white i'm not playing ball i'm kind of sitting back like i'll like i'll talk to you guys in a little bit i'm not like first day i'm not giving up all that i got to read the vibes i got to see Make sure I'm going to be here a while.
[86] Did you bring me here just for this?
[87] Like, I got to figure it out.
[88] You have him being interrogated, like in the Kremlin or something.
[89] Like, hey, give us all the goods right now.
[90] I just have him walking into that first quarterback meeting and sitting back, like, I'm not going to say much this first practice.
[91] Okay, so first of all, if he's supposed to be the guy that you signed to give info, you wouldn't have him in the quarterback's room.
[92] You'd have him with the defense, right?
[93] That's true.
[94] That's like saying all the signals.
[95] Him telling Josh Allen, hey, by the way, this is what Tua likes to do.
[96] Like, that's not.
[97] Now you're just, if I'm like that, if they tell me, hey, by the way, you're in the wrong meeting room.
[98] You're supposed to be in the defense telling us all the dolphin signals.
[99] I'm like, screw you guys.
[100] But you know how much Mike White?
[101] They're paying you.
[102] You know?
[103] Peanuts.
[104] You guys are just saying he would dip his toe in the water just to get a vibe.
[105] I just see what's going on there.
[106] I feel like I would not, if I'm Mike White, because you would agree, I think Mike White, isn't he like, is he upper echelon back up?
[107] No?
[108] I guess not.
[109] I mean, he just got cut.
[110] I feel like if I'm Mike White, I'm not just going to take this pity.
[111] I want all the information job.
[112] I'm going to actually look for someone who actually wants me for me. Mike White, who just got cut, but he did get guaranteed at signing $4 .5 million when he signed his two -year, $8 million deal.
[113] Like, I kind of feel like is a millie worth, like, just ruining your reputation?
[114] And living in Buffalo.
[115] It's not just a millie, though.
[116] It's if he's really spying on behalf of the dolphins, he's getting whatever deal they cut him, but also a share of whatever the Super Bowl winnings are, a share of glory.
[117] He might get a ring under the table.
[118] Yes, yes.
[119] They're not giving them.
[120] There's something going on here.
[121] I'm with Chris.
[122] This is very fishy.
[123] It sounds.
[124] Something's going on.
[125] And if you're a good spy, you go in there and you give them, the first thing you say, give them a good piece of information.
[126] Give them something accurate.
[127] So they know you're serious.
[128] They know you're good.
[129] And they'll use it.
[130] And they'll say, all right, he's on our side.
[131] And then everything else from that out is a lot of shit.
[132] Once they figure out that he's a double agent, it gets real uncomfortable, perhaps even Suey award -winning uncomfortable, it's the Suey's for a most uncomfortable moment.
[133] And now the suey nominees for Most Uncomfortable Moment.
[134] Greg gets upset about a picture of a mostly naked man that is definitely probably not him.
[135] Because I wrote Greg Cody's foreword to a book that he's publishing.
[136] And he read that forward and was moved by it.
[137] He then allowed me to run the photo after enough is enough of him in New Orleans drinking too much during Mardi Gras.
[138] Okay, I allowed you to run it.
[139] to make fun of it, not thinking that you would say that it's me when it isn't me. Okay, when I...
[140] He gets so serious about it.
[141] Because it's ridiculous.
[142] Because I don't want anyone to think that's actually me. And for him to say that it is, that's what makes me mad.
[143] I agreed to let you use that ridiculous photo to make fun of the photo, but to actually say that it's me is absurd.
[144] It's an insult to me. It's embarrassing.
[145] You're a Miller Light Drinker.
[146] You'd never have a drink like that.
[147] It's embarrassing to me. Okay, all right.
[148] Brandon Tierney confronts Stugatz about WFAN.
[149] Do I love them coming in here all the time, talking about other people's jobs?
[150] No. You're right?
[151] I don't.
[152] You're right.
[153] I don't.
[154] I agree with you.
[155] And, you know, that needs to be said.
[156] Yes.
[157] You know, but coming on our turf.
[158] You're right.
[159] And being so free with people's jobs.
[160] Yes.
[161] Somebody's got to speak up and defend the station.
[162] Mike Ryan wants a means dream.
[163] What's going on with these two?
[164] What's going on with Mike and a meme right now?
[165] Everyone's doing their own thing.
[166] I'm trying to produce a goddamn show over here.
[167] And no one's listening.
[168] What's the show?
[169] No one's listening.
[170] We'll do it live.
[171] No one's listening.
[172] Four minutes now.
[173] Give me the fucking dream.
[174] He's got a good point here.
[175] Just give me the dream.
[176] Let's move on.
[177] Give me the dream.
[178] Trying to do a show here.
[179] You're going to clips.
[180] I said we're good enough for the.
[181] show you're just doing your own thing just give me the shitty dream let's move on and get to kyle brant jean dan levitart leaks taylor's roy williams story taylor told me a story when i came in today about an embarrassment that he had that he called uh his greatest embarrassment as a human being in which he accidentally texted university of north carolina basketball coach roy Williams, an assortment of replacements that he thought should replace Roy Williams when he retired, because he should retire.
[182] He didn't mean to send that directly to Roy Williams.
[183] He also didn't mean for that story to make air.
[184] Yep.
[185] He mentioned that.
[186] Oh, I didn't hear that.
[187] On the front end.
[188] I didn't even hear that.
[189] I didn't even hear that part.
[190] How convenient.
[191] I didn't hear it.
[192] Leaky faucetard.
[193] He is Roy's number, huh?
[194] Can you guys help him?
[195] Did Roy respond?
[196] Can you guys help?
[197] We tried.
[198] We said, don't look at Dan in the eyes.
[199] Don't talk to him.
[200] And he broke that rule.
[201] So he had it coming.
[202] Deshaun Fosters introductory press conference at UCLA.
[203] It's us and USC.
[204] Wow.
[205] In closing.
[206] I'm just basically excited.
[207] That's it.
[208] Any questions?
[209] Oh, God.
[210] That was hard.
[211] to watch.
[212] Greg discovers festing.
[213] Hold your breath here.
[214] Fisting, also known as fist fission handballing is a sexual activity that involves inserting one or more.
[215] One or more.
[216] into someone.
[217] Breathe hats.
[218] Please breathe in.
[219] With your arms in the air.
[220] And you know it.
[221] Our entire interview with the sex therapist.
[222] Do you know what the perineum is?
[223] The gooch, the taint?
[224] Yeah, yeah.
[225] Okay, wait.
[226] Follow up question for a friend.
[227] Not your balls.
[228] For a friend.
[229] Is that the same as the grundle or is that different?
[230] April, you mentioned the clitoris asking for a friend.
[231] How does one find that?
[232] My issue is that I have a hard time waiting the time it takes to pleasure a woman because I can be much faster and I've got other stuff I want to be doing.
[233] So my issue is what is the way without thinking of your grandmother to make it last longer?
[234] Okay.
[235] David Sampson asks Pablo Tori if he has a cock ring.
[236] I think she told David Sampson to buy a cock ring.
[237] She did.
[238] You have that?
[239] All right, count us in for postgame, guys.
[240] Five, four, three, two, one.
[241] So as you might imagine, we are very mature and in no way have been having a side private conversation about the conversation we just had.
[242] David Sampson just asked me if I have a cock wreck.
[243] Is that a private?
[244] Is that a personal question?
[245] Dan makes it weird talking about Adam Schaefter's mom.
[246] Is Meena going to talk to Adam Schaefter's mom this week?
[247] I don't think so.
[248] I did not.
[249] say that God bless football was not...
[250] I met her in an elevator on a cruise ship.
[251] Small world.
[252] Where else are you getting that information?
[253] Exactly right.
[254] I talked to an insider's insider.
[255] I did not say that God bless her.
[256] Well, he was inside her.
[257] Dan.
[258] She gave birth to him.
[259] It's breaking news.
[260] Great timing.
[261] Dan Lebitard ruins Amin El -Hasson's wizard's story.
[262] For those who don't know, I walked around the entire arena he has to showing people this clip because it's amazing It's true he did So the hawks are coming down They hit ahead There's a steal Kuzma gets it He pitches ahead To an uncontested Jordan Poole Who throws it up off the glass They're down 20th Wow damn what Dan I'm telling the story I'm telling the story He just took his punchline man God damn That was the whole point of the story You should go to oddball Oh I am going to go to oddball Man. I'm sorry he did that too.
[263] So what happened?
[264] Our attempt to interview Pete Rose.
[265] Pete, you got me?
[266] Mr. Rose.
[267] Pete.
[268] Pete Rose.
[269] Hit King.
[270] Hey, $20 for an autograph.
[271] Pete.
[272] Pimlico.
[273] Charlie Hustle.
[274] Hawaii football.
[275] Ellie Dela Cruz.
[276] Chris Sabo.
[277] Austin Cairns.
[278] Pete, you got us?
[279] Willie Mopain.
[280] Pete.
[281] You got me?
[282] Pete Rose.
[283] Ken Griffey, Senior?
[284] Ken Griffey Jr. Oh, hello, oh, hello, sir.
[285] Sir, can hear us.
[286] Pete, Pete, Pete, we got you.
[287] Hello?
[288] Oh, you can't hear us.
[289] Danny, you said he could hear us.
[290] Try turning the TV up a little.
[291] It might be my supplement, but I'm in on whatever is going on in the background.
[292] Hello, sir.
[293] Charlie Hustle, in the matter of Pete Rose, it's HBO's original docu -series.
[294] First two episodes premiere on HBO tonight, 9 p .m. Eastern.
[295] The last two episodes air tomorrow, and all four hours will be available on Macs, starting later today.
[296] That was Pete Rose, our exclusive interview.
[297] This was his first interview about that documentary.
[298] Thank you, Pete.
[299] The shipping container debriefed how Dan.
[300] announced Lebo's passing.
[301] How many people talked to Dan before we went on air today?
[302] Because I had a full conversation with him in the kitchen and had no...
[303] He didn't say anything?
[304] Not even a hint of it.
[305] We were laughing and joking about something.
[306] Probably skipped his mind.
[307] I saw him at this...
[308] I'm so bad with death that that is not something that you should spring on me. Yesterday we were planning on doing the show.
[309] Dan was here on the meeting and then he was gone.
[310] And then I slotted into this seat.
[311] Too much fanfare.
[312] And I was prepared to do the exact same thing.
[313] And then I saw that Dan was here.
[314] And Dan didn't take part in the meeting.
[315] He just kind of went to this room, understandably, actually, not understandably.
[316] Where he finds the strength to even do the show, tells you a lot that this show does bring him some relief.
[317] So as bad as it ever may feel for you guys.
[318] And the occasional good show that you're like, hey, you guys have been there for me. I guess there's something to it because we were kind of there for Dan.
[319] Could have done without the surprise?
[320] That's just me. So, Mike, your biggest complaint about everything this morning is that is how it affected you.
[321] Yeah, you should have workshopped it.
[322] We're all complaining that.
[323] That's my personal clear.
[324] Billy Gill dressed as an old -timey baseball player interrupts Dan's painful interview with Rob Delaney.
[325] I feel like I lost the son because I raised him.
[326] Yeah.
[327] Yeah.
[328] It's brutal.
[329] And I'm glad that you are talking about it.
[330] I'm so incredibly sorry.
[331] I'm glad that you're crying and that people can hear that because the pain.
[332] There's an old -timey baseball player here, Rob.
[333] Like, yes, thank you.
[334] Like, I can't cry in front of these people.
[335] Do you know how weak it is?
[336] Do you know?
[337] I'm a blubbering idiot, Rob.
[338] I need this to be funny.
[339] Like, look, there's an old, there's an old -timey baseball player.
[340] Rob.
[341] I know.
[342] Billy Gill crushes butterfly garden.
[343] Seconds before learning Lebo's funeral will be at one.
[344] My wife is so mad.
[345] How about football?
[346] Yeah, well, because it comes in and it eats up our Sundays and we should be at butterfly gardens.
[347] Sad place is butterfly gardens.
[348] You think so?
[349] Yeah, because you know they're all going to be dead in like three days.
[350] I think my brother's service is going to be at one.
[351] Oh.
[352] Oh, geez.
[353] Lovely places, Butterfly Gardens.
[354] Brad Williams fears he is the show's curse.
[355] Listen, all I know is the last time I was in this studio, there was a blackout.
[356] Oh, yeah.
[357] And now I'm back.
[358] So I just hope nothing disastrous happens to anyone on this show today.
[359] Anything else.
[360] Never have me on this show again.
[361] Never.
[362] Massive blackout, close family member passes away.
[363] If I'm back on the show, your team tells me, all right, do you have all your affairs in order?
[364] Maybe you guys should have your affairs in order.
[365] I'm so sorry to be back here and causing this.
[366] Go sit in the penalty.
[367] Go ahead and just get out of here.
[368] Five minutes to say it, I'm sorry.
[369] It's not for the I'm sorry.
[370] It's for killing my brother.
[371] Dan Lovart calls Dan Patrick Dave.
[372] Oh, you're saying that's about 13 wins.
[373] He has to go to the Super Bowl.
[374] I am, Dan, I am scared to have hope.
[375] Do you just call me Dave?
[376] I did call you Dave.
[377] That's a fun, yeah.
[378] My brother died.
[379] But you're still proud of me. All right, forget about the fun.
[380] I mean, my brother died.
[381] His name is Dave.
[382] I'm saying it all the time lately.
[383] Don't do that.
[384] Don't do that.
[385] Don't play that card.
[386] It's a good card to play, Dan.
[387] It's pocket aces.
[388] The dead brother card?
[389] I know, but like I'm not playing the dead, my dead dad card.
[390] Did he die two months ago?
[391] It feels like that.
[392] No, no, not does it feel like that.
[393] Did he die two months ago?
[394] Your little brother.
[395] Dave.
[396] Dan plays the My Brother died card in response to a Billy Gill question.
[397] Has anyone ever cried off of something that they were reading off a piece of paper?
[398] I just gave my brother's eulogy.
[399] Jeez.
[400] I mean, you asked.
[401] Walked right into that one.
[402] You asked.
[403] Got your ass, Billy.
[404] You asked.
[405] You like that card.
[406] I mean, you asked.
[407] I feel like I'm off the hook.
[408] Ah, the dead brother card.
[409] Lebitard show masseuse, Genesis has her foot in Stugats' ass.
[410] Genesis's foot is in my ass right now.
[411] It's killing me, Dan.
[412] Deeper.
[413] Yes, deeper Genesis.
[414] But she's just getting it's...
[415] Do it with your hands.
[416] hands.
[417] She's just starting.
[418] Greg Cody calls Mike Ryan a giant infant.
[419] I don't deserve it and you're a fool for saying it.
[420] You're a fool.
[421] I was kind of following.
[422] Oh, you're locking in right now, you're locking in on eyes?
[423] Yeah, all right.
[424] Let's drop the gloves, pal.
[425] You should be thanking me. For what?
[426] Every day.
[427] For what?
[428] For what?
[429] For what I've done around this character and the second shit gets real for you?
[430] You want to come at me and call me a fool?
[431] No, no, no, no. Seriously, pal.
[432] Seriously, pal.
[433] I've added 10 years to your career.
[434] You want to call me a fool?
[435] Wait a minute.
[436] You'd be toiling away.
[437] You have been Michael Yormark.
[438] You owe me everything.
[439] You owe me everything.
[440] You have added 10 years to my career.
[441] Yes, I have.
[442] This man has.
[443] You haven't.
[444] That man. Who the hell are you?
[445] Bullshit.
[446] You're a rude young man. You're a fool.
[447] You're a fool.
[448] I already called you a fool.
[449] You're a fool right back.
[450] You're an idiot again!
[451] It's a fool -off!
[452] You're an idiot twice!
[453] You're an idiot for dismissing how much I've helped you.
[454] You are a fool.
[455] You're nobody.
[456] You are an infant.
[457] You have nobody to me. Where was me and Izzy?
[458] Oh my God.
[459] Dude, that was like two years ago.
[460] You are nobody to me. Yeah, but it's a suey for this year.
[461] No, it was like last summer.
[462] It was for last year.
[463] It was last summer.
[464] You should have complained last suey's.
[465] What the hell, man?
[466] There was also, Chris, something that you forgot to add that I do think we should play.
[467] This one we definitely should play.
[468] The Ronnie Chang interview.
[469] Like right now or?
[470] No, we don't have to grab it.
[471] You can play it later.
[472] You don't have to toss it.
[473] You said it.
[474] That was my bad.
[475] That was my bad.
[476] No, I just forgot his name, honestly.
[477] Oh.
[478] We should play.
[479] This.
[480] Did I miss the giant infant thing?
[481] Is that in there?
[482] I think I was laughing over it.
[483] Yeah, no. Yeah, he called them a giant infant.
[484] Oh, man. I might need to go back and just listen to that one myself.
[485] At one point, I didn't hear it the first time.
[486] He's like, you're a rude boy.
[487] You are a rude, young man. Your dad was legit man. He's never sounded older.
[488] I think Mike thought he was joking.
[489] I think Mike was a little heated there as well.
[490] Was he mad more there or at the LSU thing?
[491] Oh, the LSU thing to start, he's pissed.
[492] Yeah, like that one I heard his voice crack when he's talking about.
[493] Like, I'm embarrassed because it's not me. The best thing about my dad is, it's usually genuine with him.
[494] He's rarely acting.
[495] No, this was 100 % serious.
[496] And this was, I was like, out of town that day or something.
[497] And, like, I got so many text messages about this.
[498] This Mike and Greg argument.
[499] Everyone thought it was real, because I think it was real.
[500] It was real.
[501] On Greg's side, I laughed my ass off when it happened.
[502] It is one of the funniest things you've ever done on this show.
[503] Dude, there's no, none of these shits would make me really uncomfortable.
[504] They're all funny.
[505] They're all hilarious.
[506] That's kind of the idea.
[507] Although, although really, really heavy on the Dan's brother died.
[508] Like, that should have been its own category.
[509] The death card.
[510] The Billy and the old -timey baseball, like just them cutting.
[511] to that during that that was one of the funniest things all year there was also an uncomfortable moment that got nominated for funniest moment yesterday that maybe should win both which happened when we were in Vegas on stage the you god dan oh yeah that's a tough one who among us right all right we've got our Dolphus training camp series coming up next it's robert craycraft river river river robert crab's fine damn it's so for next year Audi listeners, it's Mike Ryan.
[512] The Dan Lebitard show started September 1st, 2004.
[513] It's a long time ago.
[514] 20 years, in fact, a lot has changed over that 20 years.
[515] But for most of that 20 years, we've had Miller Light on board as a proud partner.
[516] And even though, like I said, so much has changed, our show has changed, where we've been, where we air, our priorities, they've all changed.
[517] One thing that hasn't?
[518] The dependable taste of Miller Light.
[519] What's the best thing about the original light beer?
[520] Miller Light sparked this debate way back in 1975, and we still haven't settled it.
[521] For me, it's undebatable.
[522] The quality.
[523] Great taste.
[524] Only 96 calories.
[525] It's a beer that strips away everything that you don't need and holds on what matters most.
[526] You don't have to choose what you like best about Miller Light.
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[545] Don Libetard.
[546] While there's nothing official, and conversations are still ongoing.
[547] Was that a fake chef?
[548] It was pretty good, yeah.
[549] I tried at the beginning, and then I lost confidence in it.
[550] Why?
[551] It was good.
[552] Yeah, you got this.
[553] There's nothing official.
[554] Yeah, it's so good.
[555] ongoing.
[556] Stugats.
[557] It is trending towards Nick Siriani, remaining the head coach of the Eagles.
[558] This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats.
[559] I believe you to be the biggest fan favorite on this team.
[560] River Craigcraft.
[561] Am I wrong about this?
[562] Am I wrong?
[563] He is your biggest fan right there sitting uncomfortably next year.
[564] No, River, we asked him for a list of players he wanted to have on today, and he gave us a list that just had your name.
[565] You're a deep sleeper for me. You're a deep sleeper for me. year in fantasy, by the way.
[566] I'm taking you in the 16th round every league.
[567] No one's taking you.
[568] You know that.
[569] That should offend you.
[570] I love it.
[571] I love it.
[572] It fuels it.
[573] I appreciate that.
[574] Do you feel like a fan favorite, though?
[575] Because you know, you know this.
[576] I don't know whether you're able to walk the streets of Miami anonymously because you guys wear a helmet.
[577] Are you able to do that?
[578] Are you able, or do you find yourself running into a lot of people like this guy that you make feel good because of what you do on Sundays?
[579] I think I look like you're average American.
[580] So I don't get question walking down the street.
[581] I would have thought you competed in surfing at the Olympics, honestly.
[582] Most people think I'm a baseball player if I tell him I'm in sports or something.
[583] There are a couple of dolphins who have funny stories on that front.
[584] Wes Welker one time, they thought he was with a neighbor who wouldn't believe that he was a dolphin football player.
[585] And then looked at him and said, no wonder we were one in 15 last year when they saw him.
[586] And Zach Thomas, they handed him one time their valet keys outside of a restaurant because they thought he was the valet.
[587] This is all happening just because you're one.
[588] correct just saying about all that I do have a great story for you though when I was back when I was with the Denver Broncos they had these these events that you'd go to and you'd wear your your jersey and you'd go and you'd be there for people and I was in my own jersey and people would come up to me thinking I was a fan and I'd be like no look like I was like no I'm a player and they were I had this one family come up to me and look at me and asked me if I was a player I said yes and they were like nah you're not a player and they just walked away.
[589] It's like, all right.
[590] But you've arrived at your dreams, right?
[591] I don't know what your expectations were in, say, high school, but you've arrived at them, correct?
[592] You've arrived at the place that it's not just making the league and being someone who's productive in the league feels like a success, does it not?
[593] It's part of the journey.
[594] It's not the ultimate goal, but it is part of the journey.
[595] A couple of pro balls, what are we looking for here?
[596] What's the goal?
[597] It's the end game, Spence.
[598] I keep the end game to mind.
[599] myself.
[600] I've never told anybody.
[601] That a boy.
[602] Wow.
[603] Right.
[604] I mean, you think it's a Super Bowl, but now I'm curious.
[605] So, okay, so forgive me. So I've underestimated you in the question.
[606] You've dreamt bigger than this.
[607] I believe so.
[608] Yeah.
[609] Yeah, I have my own dreams and aspirations, and I'll keep those to myself.
[610] And I know where, I know when I hit milestones, and this is a milestone for me. But, but yeah, it's not the ultimate goal.
[611] Wow.
[612] How did the name, forgive the ignorance of this question?
[613] The name, River, is not your actual name, right?
[614] What is your born -given birth name?
[615] Or are you going to keep that secret, too?
[616] No, my legal name is Tanner, Clyde, Craycraft.
[617] Mouthful.
[618] Yeah, yeah.
[619] Clyde being after my grandfather, a family name.
[620] Tanner, though, was after the Bad News Bears' Tanner character.
[621] That's apparently where they got that name.
[622] But River being from River Phoenix, and there's a whole other story that my mom would laugh at me for not telling.
[623] But they started to call me River when I was, I think, six weeks old, and then my parents just never legally changed it.
[624] So my ID, all that stuff, everything's Tanner.
[625] But no one's ever called me Tanner before.
[626] I've always been River, so.
[627] Not even Mom, huh?
[628] No, no. I mean, like I said, at six weeks old, they they started calling me River.
[629] What about when you're, what about when you do something wrong?
[630] Right.
[631] Tanner?
[632] Tanner.
[633] Tanner?
[634] That's River.
[635] The best people call me Riv.
[636] Okay.
[637] When mom gets angry, it's River.
[638] She does a full name.
[639] Were your parents hippies?
[640] Like generally the name doesn't get changed six weeks in.
[641] Yeah, no, I know.
[642] Well, just to throw you more for a loop, my brother is Sky.
[643] So my brother is Sky.
[644] My sister has a normal name.
[645] She's Lexi, but my brother is Sky and my parents both have the same name, spelled the same.
[646] Both of their names are Tracy Craecraft, so Tracy and Tracy and then my brother, Sky, and River.
[647] And then Lexi is the only normal name.
[648] Two Tracy's.
[649] Two Tracy's spelled the same.
[650] Very difficult for banks, mail, all that.
[651] that stuff phone calls growing up those are all difficult how annoying is the phrase cry me a river to you oh got it all the time i was pretty emotional as a kid too you know i'd strike out in baseball and i'd let the tears would come and i got that real a lot too much stugats may offend you with this but uh among his bodies of water uh river does not fall in the top five he's got he's got five top five he's got top five here for you sounds like a him issue i have a i have my top list of bodies of water.
[652] Would you like to hear it?
[653] Yeah, let me hear it.
[654] Number five is ocean.
[655] Number four is a lake.
[656] Number three is a canal.
[657] Oh, come on.
[658] That's insulting.
[659] I love a canal.
[660] It's crazy.
[661] Panama Canal.
[662] Thank you.
[663] That's crazy.
[664] Number two is a lazy river.
[665] But that's a river.
[666] No, totally different thing.
[667] I'm with it.
[668] That's a gray area.
[669] Rivers are weird.
[670] You find snakes.
[671] You find stuff in there.
[672] Lazy river.
[673] You don't find anything but relaxation.
[674] Rivers are more.
[675] You don't deserve it.
[676] You don't like a lazy river?
[677] You don't like a lazy river?
[678] He's disagreeing with that thing.
[679] Who does it?
[680] Number one is a pool.
[681] Thank you.
[682] I thought number one was an ocean.
[683] That was five.
[684] Oh, that was five.
[685] It goes down.
[686] The list goes down.
[687] I thought you said one.
[688] It's my fault.
[689] Canal.
[690] I'm not locked in.
[691] But Suez.
[692] I mean, come on.
[693] It's gorgeous.
[694] Real expert on the Suez Canal over there.
[695] When all of these folks at camp are talking about this guy's faster than this guy and this guy's faster than this guy who is the fastest player on person on this team i mean oh it's got to be me right i mean i'm going neck and neck with reek so are you no no no no no no that was my sarcast no no no the fastest guy is tyreek i mean it's i think he's a fastest guy in the league i think he's a fast dude i've ever seen in my life so i don't think it's close okay but forgive me for this but i thought that there was a white cornerback out here somewhere running around that people are alleging, that they're alleging he's that fast?
[696] I asked for him this.
[697] Moster I don't know, maybe last year and I was asking Tariq, Waddle, H .N., who wins that race?
[698] And he said, no, there's another guy who's faster than all three of us.
[699] Is that the guy?
[700] I think it might depend on the distance we're running.
[701] I think Tyree's getting anybody in the 60.
[702] He's probably getting anybody in any race.
[703] But I think Ethan Bonner, he's got the stride, and I would love to see what he does in the 100 meter.
[704] About you, 5 ,000 meter.
[705] Let's do this.
[706] Oh, yeah.
[707] I'm not at last now.
[708] That's what I got.
[709] I'll bring that to the table.
[710] Pure grit.
[711] What are you proudest of in your football career?
[712] What am I proudest of?
[713] I think sticking with it.
[714] I've had a number of transactions.
[715] Somebody told me the other day is that 23 or 24 transactions in my career.
[716] And just not letting people say no and believing in yourself and having dreams and sticking to it, sticking to the script.
[717] Like I told you guys when this started, I have.
[718] my own dreams and aspirations and I'm not going to let somebody tell me know and dictate my future.
[719] So that's what I'm most proud of.
[720] I have to lie.
[721] I can't lie.
[722] I really want to know what your goals are.
[723] I've never been like you want to know you've never been usually people are pretty open with this stuff so it's not something you're hiding it's like you hiding it from me makes me want it so much more but yeah now my parents don't even know so don't feel they don't even know no you keep you don't think you can list all 23 of the transactions could you do you think if I made you go through the resume of all of the people who've told you you're not good enough for what it is that you're dreaming about, do you think you could go through all 23?
[724] I know the teams, but I don't know.
[725] Yeah.
[726] You know, because there were, you know, for example, when I was with the Denver Broncos, I got released maybe eight different times or seven different times.
[727] So, you know, I was released by the Broncos, the Eagles, the 49ers, and even the dolphins at one point.
[728] So I've been released by every team I've been on at one point.
[729] When you get released, do you have to just do the thank you.
[730] I appreciate it.
[731] Like even though you want to tell them something else.
[732] I think it depends on the situation.
[733] Luckily, my dad had kind of told me, you know, never burn bridges, you know, always be the bigger guy.
[734] And I've always had that going into those meetings.
[735] It's hard to get fired in a sense and to basically someone tell you you're no good or not good enough or whatever it is.
[736] but every time is different especially in my experience as I've gotten older I've been released for different reasons sometimes it's because I'm not doing well enough sometimes it's because they need another position here sometimes it's because we traded for somebody whatever it is it's always different yeah there could be that too yeah I mean I've been in weird situations so I've dealt with a lot but you were with Mike McDaniel in San Francisco you came over here like how has he changed going from coordinator to head coach well I think his role has changed right you know he's leading the entire team now so um he's he's always been amazing to us he was very involved with the receivers over in san francisco so so we did have a great relationship um but to see him go from a coordinator now it's a head coach and the responsibility that he's had to take on it's been very unique to see um in anybody's position to to get that kind of um what you call raise and responsibility i guess but um but it is cool to see you know to see everything and how he's handled everything and what his approach was and every every coach is different everybody wants to approach it differently so um that's been awesome he's he's amazing i love mike he's he's had my back and he's let me compete and and that's that's all i can ask for as a player as an undrafted free agent uh the day of the draft what were you expecting uh so i had a little unique of the situation I had blown my knee out late in my senior year of college.
[737] So, unfortunately, I was being told that I might be a late round pick, even with a blown ACL.
[738] I don't think that was the best advice that I was given, but just so I could have expected, you know, and who knows what would have happened if I wasn't hurt, you know.
[739] But going on drafted was, I think it's hard, but it's not the end of the world.
[740] and had I had that perspective back then, I think I'd have been a little bit better off, but it was a difficult day.
[741] Do you like being underestimated?
[742] I do.
[743] I do.
[744] Yeah.
[745] There was a part of me for a long time that always wanted respect, always wanted people to give me my flowers that I felt like I deserved.
[746] And there came a point in my career where I started to use that, you know, and not want that anymore.
[747] And as long as I had my family and my people with me, And that's all that really matters.
[748] But it took me a long time to get there.
[749] But I think probably my transition to Miami, the year I came to Miami, is when I was finally able to turn that around and look at things that way.
[750] When he asks you about McDaniel, like we've seen in a way that's obvious and undeniable, the way that he has helped Tua by simply believing in him, you're clearly a McDaniel guy.
[751] He clearly trusts you to execute what it is that he needs executed within everything that he's doing.
[752] Has anyone given you that kind of belief before?
[753] Have you felt that kind of belief from someone in all of these ecosystems that you've existed in?
[754] In my NFL career, Mike and Wes Walker are the only two, in my opinion, that have really, quote, unquote, given me a chance.
[755] I've always been the guy that's known my responsibilities.
[756] I've always also been the guy where people think I have a lack of talent maybe to come through with it.
[757] And Mike and Wes collectively are the first group of people who have looked at me and said, here's your opportunity.
[758] You know, we're not going to do it for you.
[759] You know what to do.
[760] Let's see if you can execute it.
[761] And with me being able to back that up and come through, both parts matter.
[762] And I have nothing but respect for those two.
[763] And I thank them for giving me the op. River, when the wide receivers go out for dinner, okay?
[764] Okay, who is the guy?
[765] Is it expected that Tariq Hill is picking up the bill?
[766] No, no, no. It should be.
[767] No, I mean, he does it because he's a good guy.
[768] Right.
[769] You know, and Waddle does it too.
[770] Do you do the thing where you're like, no, waddle does that.
[771] And then they're like, now get your card out of here.
[772] And you're like, okay, no problem.
[773] I was going to pay, but the old deep.
[774] Do you make the motion?
[775] Do you do that?
[776] Sometimes I might have to.
[777] I got this one, guys.
[778] Oh, no, not me. Slide answerly, we were on very different levels.
[779] No, but Tyreek and Jayley and Jayley.
[780] and they both step up to the plate a lot.
[781] It just speaks to their character.
[782] Have you had any memorable trash talk from defenders in the league?
[783] Do you have any good stories of guys giving you some?
[784] Of guys trash talk.
[785] And I really don't talk that much out there.
[786] And I kind of like when I'm out there because a lot of people look at me when they're on the field and they're just kind of like, all right, he's probably not getting the ball.
[787] So they don't really pay attention to me, which is great, because then I get to.
[788] Yeah, yeah, me too.
[789] Yeah, I was saying, huh?
[790] It's what it is.
[791] But I like it because, all right, you're going to, try and take a playoff because you look at me and don't think I'm a guy.
[792] Great.
[793] But this wasn't always the case.
[794] Like, okay, we have fun with it.
[795] But at every level until when, you were a superior athlete to most of the people you were playing against, correct?
[796] Yeah.
[797] At some point you went from, like, the higher you climbed, where was the point where that changed for you?
[798] Because the confidence that you must have had as a young athlete, as a, you know, high school and whatnot, you were better than most people.
[799] Were you not?
[800] I would say so.
[801] Yeah, college to NFL, you know, and I speak on this a lot.
[802] I think understanding your role and knowing where you fit in on each individual team is very important.
[803] And the quicker that you're able to realize that, the quicker the team will be able to move forward.
[804] And yes, like when I was in college, it was very different.
[805] When I was in high school, it was very different.
[806] I walked out of college with over 200 catches.
[807] There's not a lot of guys in their career who have done that.
[808] And I was very proud of that.
[809] But yeah, I was absolutely the guy.
[810] And you come to a place like Miami with Jalen Waddle and Tom.
[811] I re -kill, you have to understand where you fit in, right?
[812] You're not going to get 70 targets a year, you know?
[813] So, yeah, there's a little bit of pride swallowing there, and there's a little bit of, okay, if I want to get out on the field, this is how I'm going to do it, because I understand their talent level, and I understand my talent level, and it's not that I'm less of anything to anybody else on the field and how I view myself.
[814] I just know my strengths, right?
[815] So I can recognize my strengths and say, this is what I can bring to the table.
[816] And maybe this guy's not going to do this.
[817] So let me do this part better.
[818] We want to thank you for your time.
[819] Before you get out of here, have you ever been interviewed with your face as close to someone as it is to Chris Cody?
[820] It's a little uncomfortable.
[821] It's an honor.
[822] It's an honor.
[823] One of the biggest fans here.
[824] I'm sweating here talking here.
[825] Yes, you're very happy.
[826] Thank you.
[827] We've enjoyed watching you here with the dolphins.
[828] Thank you for making the time for it.
[829] Thank you guys.
[830] I appreciate you bring me on here.
[831] Thank you, sir.
[832] He asked for you.
[833] He requested for her.
[834] He requested.
[835] I appreciate that.
[836] When you get a chance, wasn't on the ass list.
[837] We got the Viori.
[838] Remember, we need a chance.
[839] A little vacation to the Suez Canal, I'm telling me.