145 - Live at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] Hi, everyone.

[17] Happy Halloween.

[18] Hi, we have a big exciting announcement for you.

[19] That's right.

[20] We're here at the Microsoft Theater, about to go do our huge live show for 7 ,000 people.

[21] No big deal.

[22] Nope.

[23] But first we wanted to tell you guys that we are announcing our 2019 winter tour.

[24] Yeah, we're going to go to a bunch of cities we've never been to before.

[25] That's right.

[26] What's up Hawaii?

[27] Yeah.

[28] Among other places.

[29] That's the only one we can think of.

[30] Pre -sale goes on November 5th.

[31] That's right.

[32] And first tickets pre -sale go to the fan cult.

[33] So if you're not a member, go to My Favorite Murder .com, join the fan cult.

[34] There's a bunch of other bonuses and and keep your eye peeled because we want to see you in 2019 yeah we'll see you then stay sexy and don't get murdered oh bye bye bye let's up Los Angeles we're Lady Gaga spooky Halloween oh my god my heart is racing it's just racing isn't of that shit wow there's a lot of you cheeses thank you for thanks for coming on holidays Halloween.

[35] Young Halloween of old nights.

[36] I feel like that means most of you guys aren't parents of small children.

[37] Yes, too.

[38] Thank you for doing that.

[39] Good of you.

[40] So, um, we should explain our cost.

[41] Yes.

[42] Be a good idea.

[43] It's not what you're expecting, maybe.

[44] Us either.

[45] Would you say?

[46] It's not what they were expecting.

[47] I swear to God I just heard footsteps over here.

[48] I'm not joking.

[49] And an icy cold hand touched my shoulder and said, do you want a pretzel?

[50] I was like, no, thank you.

[51] So, as you know, Georgia and I met at a Halloween party.

[52] That's right.

[53] Years ago?

[54] Something like that.

[55] Hosted by a friend Matt McCarthy is here tonight.

[56] Matt McCarthy's in the house tonight.

[57] He loves wrestling.

[58] Of the We Watch Wrestling podcast.

[59] Yes, that's right.

[60] And this is essentially what we were driving.

[61] as.

[62] And there were 7 ,000 people there.

[63] That's so, it was such a crazy party you guys.

[64] You were a nurse.

[65] I was my mic is insanely loud.

[66] I was the Ebola nurse, ladies and gentlemen.

[67] That's right.

[68] You remember a time when Ebola was the scariest thing happening in this country?

[69] Remember?

[70] Just a wonderful, wonderful time.

[71] What I wouldn't give for Ebola.

[72] Trade it in for today's bullshit.

[73] Just a tiny sip of Ebola to make everything else go away.

[74] Am I right?

[75] But mostly I picked this outfit because or this costume because they used to sell scrubs at CVS.

[76] So it was like the easiest costume in the world.

[77] And also it's not a costume really.

[78] It's just kind of like wearing very light cotton sweats to a party which is my thing but with pockets but with pockets yeah that's right and rubber gloves I put those in there they didn't come with it those are my personal ones and then of course Georgia well listen okay I was dressed as Glenn Danzig thank you from the band Nisfits and Vince was dressed we were a couple's costume he was dressed as Henry Rollins It was this adorable, cough, you know, whatever.

[79] It was a lot more punk rock because I wasn't in front of 7 ,000 people.

[80] And then when I went backstage, I was like, I don't want to look like squiggly all night.

[81] So I have my bangs.

[82] Listen, we did it the My Favorite Murder Way, which is kind of half -assed.

[83] But we're like, you'll like it.

[84] You'll like it, fine.

[85] Who cares?

[86] Who cares?

[87] I feel like all of Halloween is just.

[88] this weird day of sweaty scramble, and then you slowly begin to resent your friends for some reason.

[89] It's like, these fucking assholes making me do this?

[90] Yeah, I want to stay home and eat candy like I do every night.

[91] But no, they make me go stand at a party.

[92] So if you don't know, the rest of the story is, I showed up to this party alone, which is simply, I don't know how I did it.

[93] I don't know why I did it, really.

[94] I think someone, usually someone has to say to Karen, if you don't come, I will not be friends with you anymore.

[95] Oh, it was Matt McCarthy.

[96] That's right.

[97] It was his party.

[98] That's right.

[99] It was his party, and he threatened my life.

[100] So I was like, fine, you matter to me. So I showed up, and then almost immediately told a story about watching a car mowed down 30 people, which really did happen to me, but I was kind of telling the story as a brag.

[101] And to get, like, pity and attention.

[102] It was a weird move for the beginning of a party.

[103] very sober move and I watched the three people I was talking to who had just smoked a hint of pot all their faces dropped and turned gray and I was like oh no I've done it again and then from behind them but like this but like this I went hand tell me everything because all I want to talk about is parties is horrible terrible things and so I got so excited that this person was doing that and she saved my life and then we started a podcast what we're saying is go to parties go to parties and tell terrible terrible stories when you're there go to parties be nauseating see what happens yeah anything can happen anything can happen um should we we have some photos of ourselves when we dressed up As kids for Halloween.

[104] I have to say this.

[105] We've never played to seven fucking thousand people before.

[106] Podcast ever.

[107] This is the largest live podcast.

[108] It's on.

[109] It's on.

[110] It's bananas.

[111] And now, you know, the people from things my dad fucked are going to be like, I have to do that too.

[112] Go ahead.

[113] So we were like, what if, because we actually came here to see, I'm sure you've seen the commercials for the Chinese dance troupe Shen Yun.

[114] We came here to see them, to see that show.

[115] We were over there.

[116] And we were like, this is going to be beautiful and culturally interesting, you know?

[117] And it was a cult.

[118] It was a cult.

[119] Literally, a cult.

[120] And we, we, like, bailed at intermission and people tried to grab us and pull us back in.

[121] We went to the yard house where we, that's our cult.

[122] Never, never been happier to be in the motherfucking yard house.

[123] I was like, yay, frat boys.

[124] Oh my God.

[125] What a miracle.

[126] But as we were sitting there, we knew the show was booked, but it was a really long time ago.

[127] And I, the whole time it just ended up going, how the fuck are we going to do this?

[128] We don't, we don't have a dance troupe.

[129] We don't have a cult.

[130] But actually, we did.

[131] It turns out.

[132] That's exactly right.

[133] So, we've just done a lot of pre -production, and we thought we'd show you some pictures to kind of get through their top half of the show.

[134] Dazzle you, Shen Yung style.

[135] So what these are, I think, is mine first.

[136] I think yours is first.

[137] We're just going to go and show you our favorite Halloween costumes of life.

[138] Can we see the first one?

[139] Aw.

[140] Now, drink it in, drink her in.

[141] Baby Karen.

[142] That looks itchy.

[143] It is.

[144] It is.

[145] It was the world's worst.

[146] This is proof that my parents hated my fucking guts right there.

[147] It was a torture device for a five -year -old.

[148] Because that netting, so it was my cousin Lisa's costume from the netcracker from eight years previous.

[149] and underneath the intensely barbed wire -ish brown netting on the outside I'm wearing brown tights and a brown leotard which as we all know when you're the kind of kid that has to pee every ten minutes is probably the worst outfit you could wear but we went to now I'm having recovered memories we went to I think I like the hat part though It's comforting.

[150] You can tell by my smile that I'm like, a wonderful time.

[151] I've always been very photogenic.

[152] After this, we went to a 4 -H Halloween party because I'm from a farm.

[153] Remember?

[154] That's right.

[155] 4 -H, it's like a group for kids that walk around in fields all day long and don't have friends.

[156] So we went to this 4 -H party, and it was in a big barn, I mean, through five -year -old me, when we walked in, it was like Halloween Wonderland.

[157] They had decorated it, and there was like hay bales, and there was candies stacked all over the place.

[158] I was just like, where have we come to?

[159] So they had a guess how many jelly beans are in the jar contest.

[160] And when I walked up, the girl, some 15 -year -old that was taking all the guesses, wrote my name down and then goes, how many jelly beans do you think are in the jar?

[161] And I go, 15, and she goes, 500, okay, and writes that down, and then I fucking won.

[162] Yeah.

[163] She knew.

[164] She knew what I needed.

[165] She was like, that girl looks really uncomfortable.

[166] I'm going to make her a night.

[167] I had a jar like this.

[168] I rode home in the car.

[169] Well, yeah.

[170] I don't even like jelly beans, but I won.

[171] And she still has it today.

[172] It's going to be a prize at the end.

[173] of the night, moldy jelly beans.

[174] All right, let's see yours.

[175] Okay, let's see mine.

[176] That's not it.

[177] Okay.

[178] There she is.

[179] There she is.

[180] Are you baked Alaska?

[181] No, I'm like a 1950s person, but look at my shoes in the carpet.

[182] Oh.

[183] Have you seen dirtier shoes?

[184] Oh, you had been gardening that day.

[185] Yeah.

[186] Yeah.

[187] No, that's just what my life was like.

[188] Just the dirtiest shoes.

[189] Always.

[190] Disgusting.

[191] Oh.

[192] That's really good.

[193] Yeah.

[194] That's it.

[195] Was it a grease?

[196] Were you trying to do a grease?

[197] Sure.

[198] We were just really into like, oh, you know what we were into at the time?

[199] La Bamba.

[200] We had just seen that movie.

[201] And I just wanted to be like a greaser style.

[202] Yes.

[203] Soch.

[204] And so I dressed like this, but I refused to get on a plane.

[205] because I thought I was going to crash and die like in the movie La Bamba You had a flight that night?

[206] What?

[207] Yeah.

[208] So that's that.

[209] She looks stoked.

[210] I mean, she's probably so sugar high at that moment.

[211] Of all the movies, you told me, you know my favorite movie as a kid?

[212] Fucking La Bamba.

[213] It was like, there was so much story and it really happened.

[214] And it's so sad, but also a huge victory in a lot of ways.

[215] Yeah.

[216] That's that.

[217] Oh, I have a photo to show you.

[218] I dress someone up today.

[219] So someone on our last weekend in the Bay Area, someone makes costumes for cats.

[220] Her name is Maddie at Miss Maddie Makes at Etsy, and she gave me something for Elvis.

[221] So I put it on him, and he hates my guts now, but I had to do it for you.

[222] Here we go.

[223] Let's see.

[224] Oh, that's, yeah.

[225] It's a Pookie Monster hat.

[226] This is so degrading.

[227] It's not right.

[228] Pets don't like this.

[229] They don't like it.

[230] He loved it.

[231] He loves it.

[232] Look at the look on his face, and that's just his face.

[233] He's about to take out one of your corneous.

[234] That's just his face.

[235] Look at how happy he looks.

[236] His ears are flat against his head.

[237] I know.

[238] Vince, when I brought him out, Vince was like, I thought there were ear holes.

[239] and I'm like, there are, his ears are just all the way.

[240] You can see his ears.

[241] Look at him.

[242] He does look exactly like the Cookie Monster, though.

[243] He really does.

[244] It's uncanny.

[245] Truly.

[246] Oh, it made me so happy.

[247] He took the hit for you.

[248] He did.

[249] Every time people are like, look, my little dog is an elephant.

[250] It's like, your dog is pissed off.

[251] Don't be so mystified when he shits on your new duvet next week.

[252] It's a plus B. Right.

[253] And we have one more photo of a child in a Halloween costume.

[254] Okay.

[255] It's Steven.

[256] That's right.

[257] Let's have them explain it to us.

[258] Oh, yes.

[259] I'm free.

[260] This is who he was.

[261] There we go.

[262] There we take this off so they could we can prove it that we didn't murder you.

[263] There it's Steven.

[264] That's me. Oh, yeah.

[265] That's me. Oh, yeah.

[266] So cute.

[267] And that's my sister.

[268] She's dressed as a witch.

[269] Oh, that's what it is.

[270] Steven, do you have any memories from that day?

[271] I feel like I got really sweaty inside that costume.

[272] Yeah.

[273] How you doing right now and inside that costume?

[274] I'm a little parched in here.

[275] But, you know, it's cozy.

[276] It's like pajamas and show them what it has.

[277] Oh, it has pockets.

[278] Pockets!

[279] All right, thanks, Steven.

[280] Thanks, Steven.

[281] We're going to have him cut that whole part out, probably.

[282] Oh, this is my favorite murder of the podcast.

[283] This is Karen Kilgarov.

[284] This is Georgia Hard Star.

[285] Thank you so much.

[286] Thank you.

[287] Yeah.

[288] Get that out of here.

[289] Please.

[290] Please.

[291] It's just weird.

[292] You're being so good.

[293] We were really prepared for, like, insane, drunken, screaming.

[294] Like, I'm a pirate.

[295] Talk to me. Yeah, you can do it now if you want to.

[296] Yeah, one now.

[297] Get it out.

[298] We can't understand anything you say anyway when you scream.

[299] I think that's the thing people don't understand when they scream at us from the audience.

[300] We can't hear what year.

[301] It sounds like you're yelling about leaves and trees and it's like, oh, there's an arborist here.

[302] That's rad.

[303] It's really strange, but thank you so much for being here.

[304] We're stoked.

[305] Oh, we have a surprise rug from the Microsoft Theater.

[306] Yeah, they made us a rug.

[307] They made us a rug.

[308] Can you see it?

[309] You're too flat.

[310] Don't stand up.

[311] Look at it.

[312] It says look and listen.

[313] It's gorgeous.

[314] There's all decorations on the sign.

[315] Oh, sweet shot.

[316] Is there a drone in here?

[317] How are they getting that shot?

[318] Oh, that's my doggy.

[319] It's your dog and it's my cat.

[320] She's going to be livid.

[321] Look at it I love that there's a telephone Call your dad You're in a cult Got it It's like someone listens It's like they pay attention to it I know we're not used to it Usually we get to a venue And the like the grizzle Like people who work there Are like what's a podcast And then they're like It's two women And then they're like There's so many women in the audience And we're like absolutely Yeah And then afterwards When they hear everyone screaming and they know that we sold out.

[322] They're like, you guys should come back.

[323] We love podcasts now.

[324] We're changing everyone's mind.

[325] One long, talking show at a time.

[326] It's just two women talking?

[327] What?

[328] Should we sit down?

[329] Is it time?

[330] These are fucking high -class chairs.

[331] I mean, truly never in the history of our live shows.

[332] Also, this is like a backgammon table.

[333] It's a little backgammony.

[334] That's so close.

[335] You could play checkers or chess, I guess.

[336] While we talk, we could do so many.

[337] Get your...

[338] Yeah, that shouldn't go in there.

[339] All right.

[340] Oh, this is a true crime comedy podcast, everyone, just so you know.

[341] They know.

[342] They know.

[343] Anyone who is, you know, invited along because they had nothing to do on Halloween.

[344] Yeah, I bet there's a lot of drag -alongs tonight, probably.

[345] They were promised dinner.

[346] Welcome.

[347] Yes.

[348] My mom's boyfriend, for example?

[349] He's been with us since the beginning.

[350] Yeah, he has.

[351] He's a total MFF head.

[352] We always like to warn people, though, because it's staff or, you know, partners or whoever, people that might not listen to the podcast, so they don't know what's happening or why.

[353] And so we'd just like to explain at the top that this is true crime combined with comedy, which some people actually take offense to, or they think.

[354] that that's inappropriate, that you shouldn't talk about those two things together.

[355] And we do and want to, because that's how we talk, and that's actually how most people talk about horrible things.

[356] Life is equally as horrible as it is wonderful, and you get to talk about it however you fucking want.

[357] So if you're offended, you can get the fuck out.

[358] It doesn't really apply to this show where people really busted their ass to come to the my Chris, pay for parking.

[359] Paid for parking, thanks to all you parkers out there.

[360] Big ups, thank you.

[361] Parking your ass off just for us.

[362] Parking everywhere.

[363] It's just, oh, you know.

[364] Does anybody here come to L .A. Live just to chill out and like, season pass holder?

[365] Just to see the lights at night?

[366] I just love to get a bite at the yard house.

[367] It's my favorite.

[368] See my friends at the yard house.

[369] And go up to Lucky Strike.

[370] I'm just fucking bowl with some superstars of L .A. And, I don't know, it's just, I can be myself at L .A. live.

[371] It's like, it's like my level of parking payment is like where I like it.

[372] Yeah.

[373] I know my car is safe.

[374] You know, sometimes like, oh yeah, you put your credit card in and pay $2 for parking.

[375] I want to pay $98 for parking.

[376] It's what I, it's how I feel most myself.

[377] Yeah.

[378] Yeah.

[379] Do you go first or do I go first?

[380] I think you do.

[381] Is that right, Steven?

[382] Stephen, you're going to have to...

[383] I went first.

[384] Steven's backstage stripped naked out of that dinosaur costume.

[385] Looking through our shit.

[386] I have to say, too, that Vince, my husband slash our tour manager, slash kind of Karen's husband too at this point.

[387] A little bit.

[388] Got to get a touch of it.

[389] It's pretty nice.

[390] I'm looking into it.

[391] He's been hiding his costume from me all week.

[392] Oh.

[393] So he said that.

[394] He brought us out, and then he was like, I'm going to go backstage and get in my costume.

[395] He gave me, like, a warrant, don't go and look in my closet.

[396] Don't open packages that aren't yours.

[397] So either he's hiding a body.

[398] Yeah.

[399] Or he's got a costume going on that I don't know what it is yet.

[400] Is he going to come out, like, when he feels like it?

[401] Yeah, he'll come out when he, you know, like he normally does, but he'll be dressed as, God knows what.

[402] Okay.

[403] A little nervous.

[404] Okay.

[405] I'm scared.

[406] Well, I think it's perfect for Halloween.

[407] Yeah.

[408] Okay.

[409] Is anyone trick -or -treating in this audience tonight?

[410] Just going to walk around and beg for candy?

[411] Someone was passing out candy?

[412] They set it up so that you can.

[413] Some ladies handing out candy, don't fucking eat that candy.

[414] How many times do we have to tell you people?

[415] Oh, a lady's giving candy.

[416] Are her eyes really close together?

[417] Does she have full eyebrows?

[418] Don't do that.

[419] This isn't the same.

[420] This is not a safe space.

[421] There's no safe spaces.

[422] Don't you let your guard down?

[423] Just because you're amongst friends.

[424] You know what we'll do?

[425] You can start.

[426] Not your first picture.

[427] We'll see who went first.

[428] That's fun.

[429] That's right.

[430] Okay.

[431] All right.

[432] So, we decided to do interesting stories that are just about weird.

[433] It's Halloween.

[434] Listen, look.

[435] we're doing we didn't want to be restricted to the city we wanted to develop out into the theme of what does Halloween mean to you and to me it means the satanic panic yes yes it does specifically the daycare sex abuse mass panic of the McMartin trial fuck that's what you're doing yeah oh shit girl shit girl you all ready for this yeah the majority of this nay, all of this I got from a great article from the website Vox by a woman named Aja Romano, so fucking great writing.

[436] I'm going to just screw it completely up right now with my...

[437] Aja!

[438] Aja!

[439] All right, so everyone remembers the Reagan era, right?

[440] Karen?

[441] Yeah.

[442] It was like, we're living it.

[443] A lot of red dresses belted at it right at the waist.

[444] Yes.

[445] Like if you had a boxy waist, you were fucked.

[446] truly shoulder pads everywhere oh just widen it out get them up there look like a scarecrow well it was also a time of population growth urbanization and the rise of a double -income family meaning your mom had to get her ass to work right mom Janet she remembers that Janet that sucked okay so it necessitated a lot more daycares to be open and that was going on and everything, and it freaked.

[447] People who were obsessed with nuclear families, fucking fundamental religious people, lost their fucking shit over this.

[448] They were like, the family, you know, think of the children and all this.

[449] And also at that time, there was this fear of unknown, the unknown, so that's when the milk carton, children on milk carton started, and Stranger Danger became this big thing, and the idea that, like, evil was lurking around every corner, right?

[450] It was crack, AIDS.

[451] It was not a good time.

[452] That's right.

[453] I was there for all of it.

[454] Oh, nuclear annihilation.

[455] Anyway.

[456] And through it all, our good friends of the podcast, the Christian fundamentalists.

[457] Sponsor of tonight's show.

[458] That's right.

[459] And their literal belief in angels and devils.

[460] Like, you guys know, like, they fucking literally believe in the devil, right?

[461] Okay.

[462] More on that later.

[463] Excuse me. What?

[464] I totally believe in the devil.

[465] No, you don't.

[466] I think he is so special.

[467] What if I just got hit by a lightning bolt right now?

[468] Strike through men.

[469] By the devil?

[470] By the devil.

[471] He doesn't do lightning bolts.

[472] Okay.

[473] That's the J -Man upstairs.

[474] I feel like, yeah.

[475] Devil's stuff would be like, all of a sudden, my neck would go all the way back.

[476] Right?

[477] And I'd be like, are you okay?

[478] Is your neck?

[479] And they're like, Oh, yeah.

[480] Yeah, but that's also the symptoms of you having a seizure.

[481] yes or no well I am a witch so that's where it's all from this whole time we could have been having so much fun okay so fundamentalist preachers like good friend of the podcast Jerry Falwell and his moral majority they gained prominence the cost of country because they were preaching this literal fire and brimstone style of Christianity fucking blah blah blah calm down everyone enter they can't enter the satanic panic everyone's favorite panic i think i like manic panic it's more fun for the hair sure but we don't have to pick favorites right now we kind of do okay by the mid -80s a wave of oh my god amazing amazing please go on youtube later tonight and find the videos that seminars tutorials and educational videos aimed at authorities and religious fanatics teaching them like cops and therapists and Preachers and Born Again Christians, teaching them what to look for when dealing with Satanists.

[482] I have a photo from the law enforcement guide.

[483] What's a?

[484] Legit.

[485] This is from...

[486] Oh, hello.

[487] Walking through the park.

[488] Oh, my God.

[489] This video is a fucking treasure, and I highly recommend you watch it.

[490] It's called the Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic cults.

[491] This is fucking real.

[492] Also, that is not the right way to make a fucking pentegram.

[493] Yes or no?

[494] I'm not even a Satanist.

[495] Yeah.

[496] Also, whose side is he on?

[497] I know.

[498] I don't.

[499] I think he's on the U -2's side.

[500] He's like, he's the first cop Satanist I've ever seen in my life.

[501] You can trust him because he's got a fucking mullet.

[502] He's Tom Petty stunt man. Why does Tom Petty need a stuntman?

[503] man so many questions so many questions remember the video where he cut the girl up because she was cake yes that's going to be my reason i mean truly amazing stuff okay so everyone's losing their shit over satan blah -b -b -b -blaw okay the media of course too was like let's get up on this and scare the shit out of everyone ratings jump right so uh it's it soks the fuel and misconceptions surrounding occult practices.

[504] In 1988, our good friend Geraldo Rivera, yes.

[505] Made a documentary that went on TV.

[506] It was called Devil Worship.

[507] And I need to say in his voice, devil worship exposing Satan's underground.

[508] It became the highest rated televised documentary to air up into that point.

[509] People were like, let Haralda tell me everything.

[510] I trust that mustache.

[511] Yep.

[512] If anyone knows about the devil, it's that motherfucker.

[513] That's right.

[514] And Vince, unprompted, told me that he was a little kid when this came on, so he was, like, 10, he watched this documentary, scared the shit at him.

[515] The next morning he woke up with the flu and thought that the devil had possessed him.

[516] Like, that's essentially what it did to everyone in America, you guys.

[517] Except for me, because I was so drunk, I didn't know what was going on.

[518] 88?

[519] Oh, that was my prime wine cooler time.

[520] You had no time for Satan.

[521] No, I was Bartles and James only.

[522] Okay, and then all these accusations of satanic ritual abuse came around.

[523] They were attached to a string of daycare centers throughout the 80s because people got really into, I don't know, they just, listen, it's complicated.

[524] There's lots of reasons.

[525] So for some reason, daycares, they thought that they were bringing all these people who worked at daycares who were like, all I want to do when I grow up is take care of children.

[526] They thought that they were somehow trying to, I don't know.

[527] Moles them?

[528] Yes.

[529] Okay.

[530] So, thank you.

[531] That brought about the daycare sex abuse mass panic.

[532] And among the many prosecutions, many, many prosecutions of satanic ritual abuse in daycares was the McMartin trial, which became the largest, and at a price of $15 million in 1983 money, which today is.

[533] $2 .3 million.

[534] Thank you.

[535] Oh, wait, I went down.

[536] Well, it was the 80s, right?

[537] They were having a lot of money.

[538] Damn it.

[539] It was 100 million bags of cocaine in today's, in that money.

[540] I got so nervous for stage math.

[541] It's scary.

[542] I panicked.

[543] I'm sorry.

[544] Satanic panicked.

[545] Maybe it was Satan.

[546] The devil made me do bad math.

[547] That's what it is.

[548] Lord, Lord.

[549] Do a thingy.

[550] Do it.

[551] There you go.

[552] That's the one.

[553] That's the Catholic one.

[554] That's how you know.

[555] Okay.

[556] So it began in 1983 when a parent of a child who attended the McMartin preschool in Manhattan Beach, California.

[557] That's right.

[558] Tasteful.

[559] That was a tasteful yell.

[560] Yeah.

[561] You know, right over there.

[562] A 39 -year -old woman named Judy Johnson.

[563] Okay.

[564] She notices that her two -and -a -half -year -old son had some issue.

[565] Listen, how do I say this?

[566] He had some butt troubles.

[567] Okay?

[568] He had an itchy bottom.

[569] Got it.

[570] The mom took him to a doctor to make sure everything was okay.

[571] The doctor's like, he's fine.

[572] And she was like, well, I'm obsessed with Satanism, and I think something's going on.

[573] Geraldo Rivera.

[574] So you're wrong, doctor.

[575] So she insisted that he wasn't, there was something wrong with him and something going on, even though he also said there wasn't.

[576] I mean, he was two and a half years old.

[577] How much can he say?

[578] You know, it's like...

[579] He's like, Mom, my butt's fine.

[580] Yeah.

[581] This is normal stuff.

[582] But she ignored the doctor, and on August 12th, she called the police to say that her son had been sodomized by a teacher at the McMartin preschool, the daycare he had been attending for two weeks.

[583] And by the way, it was a daycare.

[584] Okay, we're later going to find out that Judy Johnson has some mental issues.

[585] Sure.

[586] We knew.

[587] I know.

[588] Yeah.

[589] So she told the investigators that her son, her two -and -a -half -year -old son said that a McMartin teacher named Ray Bucky taught him to play doctor and forced him to wear women's clothes.

[590] Oh, the horror.

[591] And that he had been molesting him and that he said that other parents had said similar abuse stories.

[592] So they listened to this woman, they believed everything she said.

[593] Ray Bucky is a 25 -year -old.

[594] He is the only male teacher at McMarton.

[595] It's been around for like 30 years.

[596] It's just really well -respected preschool.

[597] Everyone loves them there.

[598] In the 1995 HBO made -for -TV movie indictment, the McMartin trial, he's played by Henry Thomas, who is as an adult.

[599] No, no, no. The teacher's played by him.

[600] Right.

[601] Who is?

[602] The boy from E .T. What did you think I meant?

[603] I thought you meant like Elliot as a little boy played the little boy.

[604] Why did you say, oh, okay, I get it.

[605] Because it's Elliot?

[606] I don't know.

[607] It's adorable.

[608] Don't they make you say, ah, when you talk about E .T. I thought you were saying, ah, about the adult actor.

[609] And I was like, what?

[610] You know what?

[611] It was the wrong response.

[612] Now that I think about it, I need to come back into my body and start doing better math and responding more accurately to what's being said.

[613] Why?

[614] I was thinking about how fucking boxy scrubs are.

[615] And, like, this is like, you know how, like, Made Well is doing shirts right now that are, like, fucking 15 feet wide?

[616] And you're like, how am I supposed to wear that I have tits?

[617] Like, this is, it's just, I'll pay more attention.

[618] Only if you don't mind.

[619] if it wouldn't bother you I only type this up and print it up for you oh I only worked on this for 30 minutes no that's not true we have a photo of our friend Ray Bucky it's uh there he is obviously that's him in trial so spoiler alert this goes to trial okay he's like this fucking sucks yes that's not a happy face no so he She was the grandson of the owner of the McMarton preschool.

[620] Her name's Virginia McMartin.

[621] She's 76 and played by Seda Thompson.

[622] Seda Thompson.

[623] I don't know.

[624] Oh, she's from the theater.

[625] She had founded the school in 1966, and until this accusation, the school had a stellar reputation.

[626] So the same could not be said of Judy Johnson, the mother.

[627] She was a deeply troubled woman.

[628] She was an alcoholic with a history of mental illness, which I'm like, who among us isn't?

[629] But she was like problematic.

[630] You know what I mean?

[631] Who among us?

[632] But like when you're drunk and a little fucked up in the head, you get theories and then you're like, you know what, I'm going to put this in my diary?

[633] I'm not going to take this to the public right now.

[634] Yeah.

[635] You know what you say and said, I'm going to scream this at everyone.

[636] And then they're going to believe me. And at the time she was going through an ugly divorce.

[637] And so not only did she accuse Bucky of this molesting her son, she also accused her ex -husband, which didn't come to fruition.

[638] And in September, investigators set out to find more evidence against Bucky.

[639] They took him into prison, and before any files were charged or anything, they did a really rational, calm thing of sending a letter to 200 parents of children who were and have been students at the McMartin School.

[640] Oh, like people who had graduated from preschool already?

[641] Anyone who's ever been there?

[642] They sent them all a letter.

[643] And in it, they asked, among other things, they said, Ray Bucky's been arrested for potentially molesting a child.

[644] Calm down, don't worry.

[645] Everything's fine.

[646] And then they said, quote, please question your child to see if he or she has been a witness to any crime or if he or she has been a victim.

[647] Our investigation indicates that possible criminal acts include, guys ready for a fun list?

[648] All sex, fondling of genitals, buttocks, or chest area, and sodomy.

[649] possibly committed under the pretense of taking a child's temperature.

[650] Also, photos may have been taken of the children without their clothing.

[651] And then they were like, please keep this to yourselves.

[652] Please don't panic.

[653] I'm not fucking kidding.

[654] This is totally, let all happen.

[655] Go ahead.

[656] I kind of couldn't understand.

[657] Was the first thing on that list, horse sex?

[658] No, oral.

[659] Got you.

[660] Yes.

[661] No, I know what that is.

[662] I do.

[663] We have a photo of it.

[664] No. No, stop it.

[665] All the lights go out.

[666] That's MFM after dark.

[667] Look for us on Cinemax.

[668] The letter also noted that the teacher might have forced the children to pose naked for photos, for pictures.

[669] I already said that.

[670] The message didn't at all send the parents into a fucking panic.

[671] No. I wrote.

[672] At the end of that letter, it said, and maybe anything else you've ever feared in your life.

[673] Yeah, the parents.

[674] put it down and immediately started screaming in their child's faces, asking if they've been molested, and the children were all reacted calmly, and, you know, I'm sure it went great.

[675] I said that they didn't make them scream, ask their children if they'd ever been molested.

[676] So immediately you have, these parents who are in a panic, and these children that they are scaring the crap out of who don't understand what's going on.

[677] And so the DA turned to Children's Institute International.

[678] This is an organization that works with abused children to interview the McMartons.

[679] They interview children who have been molested and that sort of thing.

[680] And so they hire them to talk to the McMartons students and see if there's any basis behind the accusations.

[681] Unfortunately, the Institute's like a head named Key McFarlane is this woman, who's a little fucking crazy herself?

[682] Well, because she was like, she got out of college.

[683] and she was like, what do I want to do with my life?

[684] Unfortunately, she didn't go to college.

[685] Uh -oh.

[686] She had a welder's certificate.

[687] That was the extent of her education.

[688] I'm not fucking kidding.

[689] What?

[690] Yeah, a welder certificate.

[691] Like in FlashDance?

[692] That's hot.

[693] Why wouldn't she stay doing welding?

[694] Who knows?

[695] That's how crazy she is.

[696] Girl.

[697] I know.

[698] No even like Psych 101 shit.

[699] Unlicensed psychotherapist had no psychological or medical training.

[700] Okay.

[701] Problematic.

[702] Again, the 80s need to go to jail.

[703] Yeah, they did.

[704] They did.

[705] But don't worry.

[706] She only had to examine an interview a handful of kids who would come forward after this letter came about.

[707] Only 400 children.

[708] So don't worry.

[709] So she and two other unqualified assistants were allowed to conduct their investigations.

[710] They famously used anatomically correct dolls, you know, like, show me on this doll where the bad man touched you.

[711] And I think we have a photo of K. Or key, I mean, let's see her photo.

[712] I think.

[713] Yeah, that's problematic.

[714] A bald eagle?

[715] That's the problem?

[716] This is, I'm just saying, it doesn't, look at these monsters.

[717] I know.

[718] And then she would do this thing where she'd be like, back there.

[719] Karen, there's nothing there.

[720] There's no face there.

[721] There hasn't been a doll like that even.

[722] 25 of you.

[723] Oh, thank you so much.

[724] Thank you.

[725] That's my character.

[726] There hasn't been a blank like that around here.

[727] And now it's 25 years, which isn't that long ago.

[728] No, it's not that long.

[729] I don't know.

[730] It's still one of my favorites.

[731] Followed closely by drunk Karen.

[732] she's here she'll make an appearance tonight she's a special and then I'm going to have a ladder rolled out and do my one woman show it's going to be a so good okay so this fucking chick and there's like transcripts of it where she's just like hey Billy all your friends said that Mr. Bucky touched you are you stupid I literally said are you stupid or do you know that this happened like I'm not kidding you and the kids would be like I don't think that happened and they're like, well, I think you're lying to me or are you just dumb?

[733] I swear.

[734] She was just like, berating them until she got the answer she wanted.

[735] Jesus fucking Christ.

[736] It's absolutely right.

[737] And was it kind of thing of like, she's like, I need to do my work.

[738] No one else of like a responsible adult gets to be in the room?

[739] Well, everyone believed it.

[740] Everyone thought that this was really happening.

[741] I mean, everyone believed her.

[742] And when she pulled out the bald eagle and crocodile puppets, no one was like, you know what?

[743] Let's take a pause.

[744] and regroup in the conference room.

[745] That's how they did, like, childhood psychology and therapy back then as you act shit out, but you don't, like, lead the witness who's a fucking three -year -old child into being like, yeah, you know what, now that you mention it.

[746] And, hey, let me read you some of the shit that they ended up saying.

[747] You also don't lead a child into just a fucking full -on insult to their face.

[748] Dummy?

[749] These extremely coercive interview processes led to false memories among children, Meaning children are, I mean, we all know here children are liars.

[750] No one has one here, right?

[751] Because otherwise we'd be home with them.

[752] Children are liars.

[753] They love lying, almost as much as they love Halloween candy.

[754] They're both delicious.

[755] So, and then it led to highly fantastic claims of abuse directed at the entire staff at McMartin High School.

[756] Where are we?

[757] Preschool.

[758] Out of 400 children, preschool, high school.

[759] The interviewers.

[760] ended up coming out and saying that 359 of them had been abused.

[761] Fuck.

[762] blah, blah, blah.

[763] All right, among the many outlandish claims the children made in the case were that the daycare owners would flush them down toilets into secret underground tunnels under this tiny little school that led them to transport them to ritual ceremonies that teachers like, ritually sacrificed animals in front of the kids, clubbed a horse to death with a baseball bat.

[764] No. No, don't worry.

[765] It didn't fucking happen.

[766] Calm down.

[767] How did the horse get down the toilet?

[768] How?

[769] Just someone ask one fucking question.

[770] Number one question.

[771] Number one.

[772] How small was that horse?

[773] Can I see that horse?

[774] Can I feed that horse a carrot?

[775] Because that's the cutest fucking horse of all time.

[776] Absolutely.

[777] That they, even then, I don't think it would fit down a toilet.

[778] Like, let's think rationally, people.

[779] Let's think about toilets.

[780] Yeah.

[781] Let's get one out here.

[782] Come on.

[783] That they sacrificed a baby in a church.

[784] So, like, in the middle of the day in preschool, they were like, kids, we're going to a church.

[785] We'll have you home by nap time.

[786] Grab your cloaks.

[787] It'll be fine.

[788] Made the children drink blood, and that the teachers dressed up as witches.

[789] and legitimately flew through the air.

[790] So everyone's like, oh my God, I knew that fucking Jerry Falwell was telling the truth.

[791] Said no one ever.

[792] And took the kids to orgies at airports and car washes, which everyone knows is the best place to go for an orgy.

[793] Because you're just immediately clean, walking through a car wash. That's right.

[794] Is it like at the Southwest Gate?

[795] How do you at the airport?

[796] How do you at the airport?

[797] Has anyone ever at the airport?

[798] How?

[799] You know, when I'm my horniest is that when I'm at an airport.

[800] No. Oh, you're like, look at it, Chili's 2.

[801] Mm -hmm, mm -hmm, mm -hmm, mm -hmm, mm -hmm.

[802] You know what I love.

[803] Satan, no. So after six, okay, I mean, this goes on so long.

[804] I'm not going to do it.

[805] Also, I just want to say, clearly they were led because there's so many ideas here that are not preschool -level children ideas at all.

[806] It's like, what three -year -old talks about the fucking airport?

[807] Yeah.

[808] At all.

[809] When kid's like, I love a car wash. And she's like, you were molested at a car wash. What's that you say?

[810] Yeah.

[811] But can I have candy?

[812] Okay, yeah.

[813] I'll do what you say.

[814] Good job, dummy.

[815] It's the only part of this story I like.

[816] So essentially, all these charges are dropped with the other teachers, but they're all brought.

[817] It's a six -year fucking trial.

[818] six years of this while they're in prison the whole time including so it was only after a while it was only Ray Bucky and his mom, Peggy Martin Bucky.

[819] Let me show you a photo of this fucking Satan worshiping psychopath I mean I know that monsters are hiding among us you know they look like us they look like everyday fucking people but I bet you anything she's not into Satan you know what she's into?

[820] Making you lasagna.

[821] That's all she wants to do.

[822] Look at her afghan that she's clutching at court.

[823] Jesus.

[824] If you bring an Afghan to court, there should be a rule that you're innocent.

[825] Immediately.

[826] Get out of here.

[827] And you're like, see, I knitted it myself.

[828] Ma 'am, get me in my gavel.

[829] I have to get you out of here.

[830] I'm glad I brought this stethoscope out here.

[831] It was a good idea.

[832] It was worth it.

[833] It was so good.

[834] So, after six years of investigation and litigation, The case ultimately goes away due to a lack of utter evidence.

[835] The original accusing parent, remember our friend Jill.

[836] I do.

[837] She's eventually diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic.

[838] Oh, no. And the investigation techniques used by the Children's Institute, our friend Key, were thoroughly discredited by the psychological community.

[839] After six years, finally in 1990, little old lady Peggy is acquitted, and Ray Bucky eventually had all charges dismissed as well.

[840] The jury was like, what have we been doing for six fucking years, these poor people?

[841] Then they found out that the Children's Institute was just a spiral notebook that lady had in the back of her car.

[842] And she's like, I have ideas about fucking everybody's life up.

[843] And toilets.

[844] And toilet horses.

[845] She was like, oops, this was supposed to be a novel of fiction.

[846] I fucked up and I brought the wrong notebook for six years.

[847] She was actually, she was supposed to.

[848] to write Harry Potter, but she fucked it up.

[849] She fucked it up.

[850] She got selfish.

[851] Then they got lucky, though, because this happened all over.

[852] I mean, think of the fucking West Memphis 3.

[853] It's the same thing with the Satanic Panic.

[854] And in fact, there were two owners, this married couple of a preschool in Oak Hill, Texas, who had similar charges brought against them, but they spent 23 years in prison before being released in 2013.

[855] That was a couple years ago, you guys, despite no evidence ever found that they had done anything they'd been accused of.

[856] I remember seeing that on, I think it was a 60 Minutes maybe, and it was, you could tell they purely did it because they didn't like the look of them.

[857] It was like, you could tell the people that were in charge were like, oh, get them, you know?

[858] That guy has long hair.

[859] It was that kind of thing.

[860] Well, were they wrong?

[861] No. I'm kidding.

[862] They were wrong.

[863] Okay.

[864] McMartin preschool building in Manhattan Beach was raised in 1990, and The satanic ritual abuse claims relied, essentially, that was found to rely on overzealous law enforcement, abstincentiated?

[865] What did you say?

[866] Obsubstantiated statements from children and false memories implanted during therapy, and above all, coercive and suggestive interrogation by therapists and prosecutors.

[867] Again, and car washes.

[868] Yeah, shout out to Aja Romano from Box for all her amazing information, and that is the daycare, sex abuse, mass panic of the McMartin trial.

[869] Ugh.

[870] Awful.

[871] Sweating.

[872] I mean, that was a sweaty one.

[873] That was a sweaty one.

[874] That was rough stuff.

[875] Oh, sorry I keep doing that.

[876] Jesus Christ.

[877] Okay.

[878] Thank you.

[879] I'm going to now tell you guys, great job, by the way.

[880] Thank you, thank you.

[881] That was very, very, very upsetting.

[882] Just like we like on Halloween.

[883] I'm going to tell you guys all about the man. The mannequin at the carnival.

[884] The what?

[885] It's my new book of poetry.

[886] The mannequin at the carnival.

[887] Okay.

[888] This all takes place at an old amusement park in Long Beach called The Pike.

[889] Yeah.

[890] Either someone's from Long Beach or they're getting stabbed right now in the audience.

[891] That was blood curdling.

[892] That scream.

[893] Although if you're from Long Beach, you would kind of blood curdle scream for yourself, I would think.

[894] You got to.

[895] Okay.

[896] And the turn of the century, Long Beach.

[897] You know how I like to talk about the turn of the century?

[898] Oh, Karen will not shut up about the turn of the century Long Beach.

[899] So, the big thing to do in Southern California, obviously, was go to the beach.

[900] Long Beach had this big old pier.

[901] I think we have a picture, and they had a bathhouse called The Plunge.

[902] Hell yeah.

[903] Look at it.

[904] Look at them.

[905] So this is what people who are dressed, uh, from their neck all the way to the tips of their toes.

[906] They love to haul their asses on down to the beach and stand in the sun for hours.

[907] Nothing is more fun than just slowly strolling and uncomfortable tiny shoes.

[908] Yep.

[909] Corsets, and of course, everyone's wearing their funeral blacks.

[910] Important.

[911] I bet everyone smells so bad.

[912] It's like powder and decay.

[913] And B .O. And, yeah.

[914] So, there were, was a red car line that went from Los Angeles down to Long Beach so people could get out of the city for the day and then go down here and chill out on the beach because they can't go to the beach in L .A. Anyway, don't think about it.

[915] So it gets so popular.

[916] They start adding, there's a carnival, concessions, rides.

[917] They string lights above the walkway.

[918] Charming.

[919] Right?

[920] They call it the walk of a thousand lights.

[921] This was back when lights were a big deal.

[922] Oh, right.

[923] Yes.

[924] Right.

[925] Okay.

[926] They're like electric light.

[927] Is it God himself?

[928] As its popularity grows, they build a midway that has now like a seaside studio souvenir photography studio.

[929] The Loof Carousel Magruder Saltwater Taffee.

[930] I mean, all the things that us here would just have loved to do all the time.

[931] Saltwater taffy is gross and tastes bad.

[932] And then it rips all your fillings out.

[933] And I bet back then they had like one flavor.

[934] Yeah.

[935] It was just sand flavor.

[936] Alfalfa.

[937] Yeah.

[938] There was but there was your favorite pitch and skill games, pony rides, goat carts.

[939] A fortune tellers A wait -guessor Shut up I know what you're You don't know it Yeah And a variety of dark Of thrill rides, amusements and attractions Oh here's this picture I found that I just kind of like I don't know if it's an attraction Or if it's Oh Stephen actually put Long Beach trolley there As if that's the name of it But I just called it a trolley because I didn't know what else to call it I like it Please don't anyone go and, like, write your thesis about the Long Beach trolley.

[940] This is just another one of my lies.

[941] Okay.

[942] Oh, I think there's another one.

[943] Oh, God.

[944] No, there's going to be a bunch, Georgia.

[945] Okay, great.

[946] This story is mostly pictures.

[947] Okay, right.

[948] The next picture, I think there's, yeah.

[949] Oh, shit.

[950] Look how rad that kid is.

[951] That kid wants to fight me, I think.

[952] He was like, that kid saw the photographer and he was like, fucking come at me, bro.

[953] I'm filled with saltwater taffy and I'm going to kick your ass right now.

[954] Look at him.

[955] He has two jobs and he smokes.

[956] Yay.

[957] Look at, and those are little flags and that's where the lights are.

[958] That's the walkway of lights.

[959] There's salty old Virginia.

[960] She's got a full bottle of gin in her purse.

[961] Oh, totally.

[962] Yeah.

[963] Where you want to go, the pier?

[964] All right.

[965] There's a penny.

[966] Leave me alone.

[967] Get out of here, kid.

[968] Gary.

[969] His name's Gary.

[970] It's baby Gary.

[971] It's baby Gary.

[972] All right.

[973] Then in 1930, they build the humongous roller coaster, the cyclone racer.

[974] Have you ever seen this thing?

[975] No. Okay, it's rad.

[976] This is the entrance.

[977] It's 100 feet tall.

[978] It's all made of wood.

[979] You know, no?

[980] I don't want to go.

[981] Are you going to make me go on it right now?

[982] Yeah, you have to.

[983] And can we do the wide of it?

[984] Because it went out, essentially, the next picture is the wide.

[985] It goes out into the sea.

[986] Guys, no. So what is your fear?

[987] Heights, we got you covered.

[988] The ocean, we've got you covered.

[989] Yeah.

[990] Weird deaths.

[991] Yeah.

[992] We're there.

[993] Like early architecture that's made by, like, alcoholic hobos who, like, just don't give a shit and then like no licensing and no checks and balances they were like I like roller coasters so I'm going to build one see right over the ocean insurance we don't need insurance don't be crazy it's all that little kid's idea Gary is such an entrepreneur more than a few drunken sailors who had gone down to the pier because there's lots of sailors Sailor Station down in Long Beach ignored the do not stand up sign.

[994] And why wouldn't you?

[995] I mean, it's your special day.

[996] If it's your day and you want to have fun your way, stand up on this insane roller coaster with no safety features whatsoever and die, die, die, die, die, die.

[997] So, it had dual tracks, hairpin turns, a skeletal frame that dangled out over the ocean.

[998] like myself and by World War II the pike the whole amusement area had grown to 15 acres and then they had they added freak shows they added arcades shooting galleries dance halls bars tattoo parlors it was filled year round with tourists and quote thousands of salty stailers stationed in Long Beach sorry before I go any further I got all this information from an article on slate .com on a website called All That's Interesting .com, but it's just this story.

[999] And then there's a guy named Charles Phoenix who has a website.

[1000] You know that guy?

[1001] It's all like retro stuff, and he kind of explains like, it used to be nice down here.

[1002] Look at these pictures.

[1003] So the salty sailors quote is from his website.

[1004] That's what reminded me. All right.

[1005] So in 1950, they hold a contest to rename the pike.

[1006] Okay.

[1007] Do you want to do a guess of like a, what's a better name for the pike amusement park?

[1008] Oh, um, drunk people everywhere.

[1009] That is good.

[1010] No. The fighting.

[1011] The fighting?

[1012] Wave tectonics.

[1013] How did you do that?

[1014] They renamed it the new pike.

[1015] So, so.

[1016] So.

[1017] Okay.

[1018] I think I should have just called it Piker, right?

[1019] Piker.

[1020] Like more than Pike?

[1021] Yeah.

[1022] New Piker.

[1023] Piker.

[1024] Well, you should have entered the fucking contest then.

[1025] That's the thing.

[1026] Clearly.

[1027] That's the thing is they hold a contest and it's like the fish bowl is out on the desk and there's just that one piece of paper that says new pike inside.

[1028] And they're like, any else?

[1029] Any other people have ideas?

[1030] Anyone.

[1031] Seriously.

[1032] Just say anything.

[1033] It could be like.

[1034] Wave tectonics.

[1035] It could be wave tectonics.

[1036] Anything.

[1037] So, by the 70s, this place turned into, like, this shitty rundown carnival that looked like somewhere you would not have a ride away from and then be like, oh, this is it for me. Do we have a picture of what it ended up looking like after it was like 70s New Pike is pretty sad.

[1038] Cool.

[1039] I like this shit.

[1040] Close your eyes and pictured in your mind.

[1041] You're going to.

[1042] Did I not have the new Pike?

[1043] I might have skipped that one.

[1044] Well, if it comes up, it comes up and Stephen is fired.

[1045] Anyway, this is where our story begins.

[1046] I actually wrote that down because I was like, you're talking about this carnival so much.

[1047] No one knows what's going on anymore.

[1048] You're supposed to be doing a Halloween show where everyone's creeped out and spooky Halloween.

[1049] And instead, it's like, Carnival days in Long Beach.

[1050] So, in 1976, they're filming the $6 million man at the new pike.

[1051] I think that was my mom, I swear to fucking God.

[1052] Look at that hot piece right there in his whip -stitch jacket.

[1053] That is a motherfucking button nose if I've ever seen one.

[1054] He's just a precious man, that's all.

[1055] God, that guy, he was like when I was growing up because this show was on from 74 to 78, I think, and this was like some of my most baseline memories is like, oh, it's my mom and my dad and fucking that guy in the background.

[1056] Oh, wait, he was everywhere.

[1057] He was humong.

[1058] Okay, so just if you don't know, you're like, I'm a millennial and I won't pay attention to anything before 1999, then I'll tell you, this was a television show.

[1059] This was what we watched before YouTube.

[1060] And it ran from 74 to 79.

[1061] It was about a former astronaut named Colonel Steve Austin, who was played by Lee Majors.

[1062] That's him.

[1063] Very talented man. He had been given superhuman strength because the government had given him bionic implants.

[1064] It's a fucking true story, too, you guys.

[1065] It is.

[1066] They just don't want you to know about it.

[1067] He just wasn't super hot, the guy that they actually did it.

[1068] No, he was kind of plain.

[1069] Steve Austin could run super fast, but you knew that because he was running in slow motion.

[1070] And then there was like a machine sound that they laid over the top of slow motion running and they were like, God, he's so fast.

[1071] And that was CGI back then.

[1072] Yes.

[1073] Just some layers.

[1074] And then he also had one like real weird eye, like just a real sharp eye.

[1075] T .Bionic.

[1076] He's bionic.

[1077] Don't worry about it.

[1078] One time Steve Austin met up with Bigfoot.

[1079] Do we have that next picture?

[1080] Yeah, he did.

[1081] Look at him.

[1082] Holy shit.

[1083] I mean, like 74 to 79.

[1084] It's a long fucking time.

[1085] Like that fifth season writer's room, they're like, we did the thing where he fought against Russian Spock.

[1086] We did that already.

[1087] Did he ever meet up with, and I remember this happening, like this was a rule that had to happen on every show, the fucking Harlem Globetrotters?

[1088] You ever have to team up with them?

[1089] They're all inside this big foot suit.

[1090] Oh, my God.

[1091] Amazing.

[1092] This is actually one of a very distinct memory I have because when, I don't know if they were fighting or if they were just having fun in the forest, but Bigfoot was throwing huge logs.

[1093] I mean, we, that's all, we had no choices back then in our entertainment.

[1094] We're just like, no, I love this.

[1095] I love this.

[1096] I want a lunchbox with this on it.

[1097] Motherfuckers.

[1098] So, and now our story begins.

[1099] Okay.

[1100] So, so they're shooting.

[1101] an episode of the $6 million man at the New Pike Carnival.

[1102] And it's an episode where for some reason, Steve Austin, the $6 million man, goes on a spooky funhouse ride.

[1103] Sure.

[1104] That's dignified.

[1105] Yeah.

[1106] You know how government operatives when they're fighting crime?

[1107] Sometimes go on a funhouse to do so?

[1108] Yeah.

[1109] Perhaps he was chasing a criminal that also wanted to have fun real quick.

[1110] Sure.

[1111] Before he got away.

[1112] absolutely so it was they actually went on the real ride from the new pike and it was called laugh in the dark and I think we have a picture of it this is one the only things look at it left over wow yeah that's real okay and it was really there and it's the kind of thing where just like the children's institute you're like somebody made this up and it's not a good idea.

[1113] Laugh in the dark is dumb.

[1114] It's a bad name.

[1115] Yeah, and it's not spelled right.

[1116] It's not spelled right, and it doesn't look fun, funny, or scary.

[1117] It just looks like, it almost looks like where the bathrooms should be.

[1118] Okay.

[1119] Picture, if you will, the prop man, from the $6 million man, has to go into Laugh in the Dark and look at all the shit that's been stuck in there and be like, okay, well, if the shot goes through here, we're going to be looking at this, this, this, this, and this is what we want, or do we actually bring in things that are interesting looking?

[1120] And so as he does that, it says, in the ride, there's a tunnel where various ghosts, ghouls, skeletons, and demons pop out at you as your car is jerked side to side in the dark.

[1121] Sounds fun.

[1122] I mean, you know what to make you do?

[1123] L -A -F -F laugh, that's for sure.

[1124] So, the prop guy is fixing shit up.

[1125] He sees there's a mannequin hanging from a noose in the corner.

[1126] So he probably was like, I don't know if the kids will love that.

[1127] Now that we've got the Bigfoot crowd following us, we might want to take the noose out of the shot.

[1128] Yeah.

[1129] He goes up to grab the mannequin, and he ends up pulling its arm off.

[1130] And then when he looks at the arm, there's a bone inside of it.

[1131] Spooky Halloween.

[1132] Not only a bone, but tissue -like flesh around the bone.

[1133] gross so he puts that arm down very gingerly and then he proceeds to scream for 11 days in the dark stays there he stays there right in the dark screaming 11 days where did I go oh that's right at the bottom of the age wow scream oh I put screams for 11 years days is funnier years is too long we have to edit on the fly we have to know that everything is fixable.

[1134] Who's she?

[1135] That's the opposite of drunk Karen.

[1136] I hate her.

[1137] This, okay, prepare yourselves.

[1138] If you brought like a baby or something, turn it away.

[1139] This is what was found.

[1140] In the dark.

[1141] Why?

[1142] See where the arm was broken off?

[1143] That's how it was hanging when the guy still thought it was a mannequin over there.

[1144] No, that looks no. No, right?

[1145] The answer is yes or no?

[1146] No. I don't want to go on this right either, please.

[1147] Are you going to make me go on this ride?

[1148] Yeah, you have to.

[1149] No, you have to.

[1150] That's horrible.

[1151] Also, I can't tell if somebody photoshopped it red, which if you did hats off to you, because it makes it, that picture is awful and it looks like something that would be like a creepy pasta you're reading where you're like, this isn't real.

[1152] A child wrote this, and then that would be the picture underneath the article.

[1153] This, on the other hand, well, that looks like Tanduri chicken.

[1154] Oh.

[1155] Which is...

[1156] Delicious.

[1157] It's scary in a different way.

[1158] Oh.

[1159] It's scary and it's heightened.

[1160] Okay.

[1161] Oh, my God.

[1162] So here's what's happening.

[1163] It turns out the mannequin was Elmer McCurdy, an old West outlaw who died in a gunfight with police 65 years earlier.

[1164] Holy shit.

[1165] Right?

[1166] In 19, 11, Elmer McCurdy, the miss just making vagabond.

[1167] That's the best nickname of all time.

[1168] It's super long, you can't remember it.

[1169] He robbed a train in Oklahoma, and then he took his $46 and bottle of whiskey.

[1170] Which at that time was $17 ,000.

[1171] And he fled to Kansas.

[1172] When the police found him, he hid in a big haystack, because this is a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

[1173] And they start a shootout.

[1174] He says, you'll never take me alive.

[1175] And they're like, sounds great, it's a deal.

[1176] And they kill him, and then his body is taken to a funeral home.

[1177] It sits at the funeral home.

[1178] No one ever claims it.

[1179] So the undertaker who saw, it's 1911, so he's like, I need money, we all need money.

[1180] This is the Wild West.

[1181] So what he does is he puts Elmer's body out in front of the funeral home, still in his his casket and his setup is, you can come look at him if you put a nickel in his mouth.

[1182] Do we have the picture?

[1183] No, you have a photo?

[1184] Look?

[1185] Go right up.

[1186] Go right up, little girl.

[1187] What's wrong?

[1188] He looks like Ted Bundy kind of.

[1189] Well, no, I see how you think he's cute.

[1190] I didn't, I never said, I didn't, oh my God, that is terrifying.

[1191] Man, you try to live your life.

[1192] as a bank robber or whatever with respect and you end up being a fucking bank for children.

[1193] Yeah.

[1194] Not cool.

[1195] That's not cool.

[1196] But it doesn't end there because that goes on for a while.

[1197] And then in 1915, two guys from a carnival come and say they're Elmer's brothers and they're there to take him away to be buried.

[1198] I don't believe him.

[1199] And the Undertaker's like, oh, okay.

[1200] And then he like opens up his butt and all the nickels fall out.

[1201] Stop it.

[1202] Stop it.

[1203] That's not funny.

[1204] Don't say that.

[1205] Gumball machine.

[1206] How else do you get the nickels out?

[1207] Like, what's the thinking?

[1208] We were all wondering.

[1209] What was he going to do?

[1210] Yeah, we wanted to know.

[1211] How'd you get them nickels?

[1212] So the two brothers aren't real brothers or other carnival owners.

[1213] And so Elmer then becomes an attraction at their traveling carnival.

[1214] And he's displayed as the bandit who wouldn't give up.

[1215] Jesus.

[1216] This sounds like a Scooby -Doo cartoon.

[1217] Yes.

[1218] There should definitely be a big stacked -up sandwich somewhere in this.

[1219] Oh.

[1220] You've eaten one bite.

[1221] How did he do it?

[1222] He was so thin and he could eat all the tall sandwiches he wanted.

[1223] So jealous.

[1224] I hate shaggy.

[1225] Okay.

[1226] So when the body is considered no longer in mint condition, oh, sorry.

[1227] There's always these beauty standards that we have to live up.

[1228] to, they change the act and he then is displayed as the 1 ,000 -year -old man. Great.

[1229] Yeah.

[1230] The hits keep coming.

[1231] Yeah.

[1232] Carl Reiner's like, that was my idea.

[1233] Thank you.

[1234] Someone listens to comedy records from the 40s.

[1235] I'm not alone anymore.

[1236] This goes on for 60 years.

[1237] No, too many.

[1238] Displaying this man, Willie Nell.

[1239] at carnivals, wax museums, haunted houses, and then he finally ends up at Pike's amusement park where they applied a nice coat of paint to him.

[1240] Great.

[1241] And they hung him and laughed in the dark.

[1242] They thought the, whatever you call, authorities believed that he was hanging there for four years before he was discovered.

[1243] They took his body back to Oklahoma and buried him in 1977, which we have a picture of.

[1244] Is it going to be his body?

[1245] Oh, great.

[1246] Finally.

[1247] That's nice.

[1248] Although, after they buried him, they did pour an extra slab of concrete over his casket, so he wouldn't get out and wander about again.

[1249] You guys, that doesn't happen.

[1250] And also, he didn't do it in the first place.

[1251] They did it to him.

[1252] Right.

[1253] He wasn't like, you know where I want to go next.

[1254] And he's like, I don't know you stay down there.

[1255] I'd love to, motherfuckers.

[1256] I wanted to do this 65 years ago.

[1257] And that's the story of Elmer McCurdy, the mannequin at the carnival.

[1258] Amazing.

[1259] I found that one so long ago.

[1260] I'm so happy for you.

[1261] No, I really.

[1262] I am so happy for you.

[1263] No, that was, yeah, that was a good one.

[1264] Thanks.

[1265] Good job.

[1266] Thank you so much.

[1267] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[1268] Absolutely.

[1269] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[1270] Exactly.

[1271] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[1272] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

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[1283] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[1284] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[1285] That Shopify dot com slash murder.

[1286] Goodbye.

[1287] Hey, this is exciting.

[1288] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[1289] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.

[1290] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[1291] Who killed Saz?

[1292] And were they really after Charles?

[1293] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[1294] This season, murder hits close to home.

[1295] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[1296] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[1297] Amid the And glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[1298] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[1299] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[1300] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[1301] Goodbye.

[1302] Do we have time for a costume contest?

[1303] It's a costume contest.

[1304] You want to see?

[1305] Watch this.

[1306] Here we go.

[1307] Oh, my God!

[1308] What's time?

[1309] I'm dressed as Elvis.

[1310] Yes, you are.

[1311] Vince Averill, everybody, tour manager.

[1312] Vince, Vince, if I hadn't already married you, I would marry their shit out of you right now.

[1313] Just for this?

[1314] Yes, truly.

[1315] Real quick, the Bigfoot on $6 million man, Andre the Giant.

[1316] Oh!

[1317] Are you serious?

[1318] Absolutely.

[1319] I love him.

[1320] Double marry.

[1321] Now it's a double wedding, me and you and him.

[1322] Trick or treat, ladies.

[1323] I'll be right back.

[1324] Thank you.

[1325] Oh, my God.

[1326] He's also in character as Elvis.

[1327] I know.

[1328] He's not just wearing the outfit.

[1329] Our cat is named Elvis, guys.

[1330] For anyone who's new, that's...

[1331] Get it?

[1332] So Vince went around and pulled some interesting, some of interest costumes out of the audience.

[1333] If you're sitting there with your perfectly put together girl from the ring, and you're like, mine's better.

[1334] It might be.

[1335] Yep, you're probably right.

[1336] We just wanted to highlight some efforts.

[1337] Yeah, just a couple of cool people.

[1338] Why are we so defensive about the costume contest?

[1339] You all look great, by the way.

[1340] You really do.

[1341] Thank you so much.

[1342] Those of you dressed up.

[1343] Where are they, Vince?

[1344] They're all backstage.

[1345] Oh.

[1346] Just chilling out.

[1347] Cute.

[1348] Because get it?

[1349] My cat's Elvis.

[1350] I do.

[1351] It's like a play on words.

[1352] It's so cute.

[1353] Yeah.

[1354] It's very nice.

[1355] not like him.

[1356] I'm just really happy about that.

[1357] Yeah, he's not, he doesn't take big swings.

[1358] He's a very low -key person.

[1359] Yeah, yeah.

[1360] And with the gesturing, I don't know what we're waiting for right now.

[1361] He's fired, clearly.

[1362] Everyone's fired tonight at the entire Microsoft.

[1363] You know, today, when I was driving to work, there was a girl wearing a really tight, rogue costume.

[1364] She was dressed as rogue, but like in real latex, I think, or like, it was just this thing, and she had the hugest butt, and And so as I drove by it, I was like, yeah.

[1365] It's like, on Halloween, you put it out there.

[1366] And if you're going to put it out there, you should be supported by other big -budded girls, I think.

[1367] Put it out there.

[1368] People like it.

[1369] I love it.

[1370] All right, let's get our, let's pick these costumes.

[1371] Let's see what he's brought out.

[1372] What should we got?

[1373] Oh, my God.

[1374] I love that movie.

[1375] You look amazing.

[1376] It's Lee.

[1377] I'm in you guys.

[1378] What's your name?

[1379] Hi, my name's Jessica, but I'm also the Supreme Dean.

[1380] you say it again i'm jessica but i'm also the supreme bean the supreme being yeah that's right i thought the supreme being was that lady that sang opera nope it's li lu i'm going over here i protect you oh wait a second it's too hard her what's your name katie you look amazing it's katie's such a little peanut i love it i love peanut oh there she is it's a notorious r bg Toria's RBG.

[1381] Great job, you guys.

[1382] Thank you for dressing up.

[1383] You look incredible.

[1384] That's her Wednesday, Al. It's just my Wednesday alf.

[1385] Yes.

[1386] I love it.

[1387] Cool.

[1388] I don't know.

[1389] What do you guys want to do now?

[1390] I was just going to stand here for the rest of the night.

[1391] Okay, cool.

[1392] It's my bedtime, but I mean, is there a contest?

[1393] Well, I think you guys all three, already won here I have um oh what you got Georgia's got some prizes for you I have some you can't take some you don't it's not candy relax Ruth Bader Ginsburg for Christ say here I'm gonna give you my pin because I didn't bring three the pin off your jacket oh because you only have two here you go good job everybody thank you yes good job everyone thank you that's it thank you so much I do have to give a shout out to my girlfriend Lisa hi Lisa oh she would you a hang on?

[1394] A little bit.

[1395] I'm trying to become a murderino.

[1396] Get out.

[1397] Good job.

[1398] Hi, what's your name?

[1399] I'm John.

[1400] John, where the fuck were you?

[1401] Lost.

[1402] Really?

[1403] I have no idea where to go.

[1404] Did you have to get up here by yourself?

[1405] Well, no one said my name.

[1406] Oh, that's because you didn't get picked.

[1407] God, Halloween is tough sometimes, isn't it?

[1408] Do you have another pin for John?

[1409] No, I don't.

[1410] I'm sorry.

[1411] What'd you got?

[1412] my food perfect thank you thank you guys give my hand yeah that's it that's all good job we didn't really have a plan no yeah good job thanks you guys you can just go get lost kind of wander backstage I think there's some there's hockey next door oh there's one more he's just as a serial killer is there let's see Oh, it's fucking Ed Kemper You've got written from HBO's Mind Hunter is here Big mess, here comes it down with us Yeah Yeah Yeah How'd you like our costume contest, Cameron?

[1413] Pretty good?

[1414] Hello, it was, it was great This is my version of my own costume It's not great It's really good Yeah, I didn't have tennis shoes on like new balance on the day but this was what I auditioned in this was the shirt.

[1415] Is that true?

[1416] Really?

[1417] Yeah How many times did you have to audition?

[1418] I auditioned six times.

[1419] Really?

[1420] Wow!

[1421] And they told me that no one else had to, so I don't know nobody else Jonathan Groff was like, no I did twice and then I was.

[1422] Maybe they just wanted to see you act more.

[1423] Yeah.

[1424] Did you know who Ed Kemper was when you went in?

[1425] No, I had no idea.

[1426] You didn't?

[1427] No, but I could tell by the script that I was sent, I was almost sent a few pages.

[1428] There's something about it.

[1429] It just didn't seem like it was made up by a writer.

[1430] It seemed like quotes.

[1431] Yeah.

[1432] Very grounded.

[1433] Yeah.

[1434] So I just got a feeling.

[1435] I typed Ed Kemper into YouTube and I went down a rabbit hole of a long time.

[1436] I'll never forget.

[1437] Like we went that night I did a self -tape and then we went to a barn North Hollywood.

[1438] And my friend and I were talking about, like, okay, I just had this audition.

[1439] This guy really did, and I, like, went through the list of all the things he did to his mom, and, like, we're all just drinking, like, oh, my God, that's the craziest thing.

[1440] And then I was, you guys, I got a callback for that.

[1441] Really?

[1442] And then I was like, you guys, I got another callback for that.

[1443] And they're like, that's great.

[1444] And I was like, you guys, I got another call back.

[1445] It just kind of kept going over six weeks.

[1446] Wow.

[1447] But then it ended up that you got an Emmy nomination for that one that you did.

[1448] That's a pretty good feeling.

[1449] it was pretty emotional actually this was my first guest star at 31 and it's led to being here talking to 7 ,000 people this could all be yours this could all be yours and we had the Emmys there and I sat right down there Oh that's right because they held them here I was right next to Jane Lynch The Emmys were a practice for this show Yeah that was what it was And I didn't get on stage that night But I'm here now so I'm on stage That's right.

[1450] And we're giving you our version of an Emmy.

[1451] Oh.

[1452] The Steffy.

[1453] So how long did you have to?

[1454] Because you played Ed Kemper so beautifully that it made me a little terrified of you when I met you earlier.

[1455] Yeah.

[1456] Because it was so good and real.

[1457] How long did you have to like practice being the biggest creep?

[1458] Well, TV never rehearses.

[1459] but we rehearsed we rehearsed a lot actually we discussed it a lot and I had a few months before the first shoot which we shot it in order and then maybe a few months later I did the next one final so it was nine months in character I just kind of passed up auditions and stuff so I just focused on him for nine months which in TV again as a guest star is impossibly rare and that's the show you know it anyone there hasn't seen it, it's, uh, it goes all out in making it as authentic as possible.

[1460] Yeah.

[1461] You know, there's no, I love Hannibal Lecter, but it's so over the top.

[1462] Uh, this is much more grounded.

[1463] Well, because they're real people.

[1464] I mean, it's that thing where we read these stories and we talk about the facts of these cases that are so, you just can't believe, you know, a guy cut his own mother's head off and buried her in the backyard facing the house.

[1465] It's like, shit where you're like, what?

[1466] But then it's like, it's a real person.

[1467] It's a real person that did that.

[1468] Yeah.

[1469] I still can't believe.

[1470] It's weird because, you know, like Stalin murdered millions of people.

[1471] But still, like, if you cut your mom's head off and you have sex with it, we're still like, what?

[1472] Yes.

[1473] What?

[1474] Yes.

[1475] No, you didn't.

[1476] And then he's six foot nine and his IQ's like 145.

[1477] I mean, the guy's just...

[1478] Did you have to...

[1479] You're not six foot nine.

[1480] I'm six five.

[1481] I mean, I didn't mean that as an insult.

[1482] No. plenty tall but did you have to wear heels I did yeah did you really high heels yeah it was boots with high heels and then I mean those hurt like hell yeah they fucking do yeah yeah finally try it at 300 pounds girls okay yeah but a lot of that stuff like I took my shoes off so not to you know take you out of the moment but if you're watching the show and my feet are under a table there's a good chance I have no shoes on, and just chilling back, you know?

[1483] Hippie, Ed Kemper.

[1484] Secrets of Hollywood.

[1485] You know what's really funny, too, is that, like, talking to you, it's not totally dissimilar, it's not like this, you know, but when you were at Kemper, there was no light in your eyes.

[1486] You were the most dead -eyed reptilian person.

[1487] Thank you.

[1488] Right?

[1489] Yes.

[1490] It's not, that's crazy.

[1491] I worked really hard on that dead -eyed thing.

[1492] You turn that light out real good.

[1493] Christian Bale talked about, he based a lot of American Psycho off of Tom Cruise because he noticed that his smile never reaches his eyes.

[1494] Whoa.

[1495] So there is a way, actors.

[1496] You can practice just killing your eyes.

[1497] Oh, my God.

[1498] We should start a Hollywood gossip podcast.

[1499] That's so fucking looting.

[1500] The three of us.

[1501] Yeah.

[1502] Yeah, let's start.

[1503] Right from here tonight.

[1504] Oh, my God.

[1505] Russell Crowe and Dakota Fanning, out.

[1506] No, I doubt they did ever.

[1507] You have a hometown murder story, right?

[1508] I do.

[1509] I do.

[1510] A hometown murder story.

[1511] It's an old family secret that my grandmother didn't, she didn't know that she had two uncles until she was 18 years old.

[1512] It was so secret.

[1513] But all the people involved are dead now, so they don't care.

[1514] So I'm going to tell you.

[1515] There's the best ones, the best ones.

[1516] You can make the most jokes on those ones.

[1517] Let's talk about the dead.

[1518] So let's go back to 1897.

[1519] This house was built on this property.

[1520] My family still has.

[1521] We still camp on it, but at that time it was sheep herding country.

[1522] Where is this?

[1523] This is in Casadero, California.

[1524] Which you may know, there's no way.

[1525] There are, to this day, 400 people living in the town.

[1526] They're not here to know.

[1527] They're all here to know.

[1528] they're all here.

[1529] Yes, even the mayor.

[1530] We could all become our own army and just take over Cassatero, all of us in a whim.

[1531] So this is even further up north than that.

[1532] This is way out in the woods of Northern California.

[1533] And my great -grandfather grew up in this house, and he'd ride a mule to school and everything.

[1534] I'm not kidding.

[1535] So when he, okay, so his two older brothers, Don and James.

[1536] James murdered Don.

[1537] Spoiler alert.

[1538] James was, he had a complicated birth, so they think he had a lack of oxygen.

[1539] So he had like the mind of like an eight -year -old.

[1540] And he, his mother, Anna, brought him to a mental institution and brought him in and looked around and then decided, no, it's not right for him, which is, you know, unfortunate because sometime later Don and James were down at the barn And we're really not sure on the dispute We think Dawn was heading to San Francisco And that made James jealous Because in that day, just going to San Francisco was amazing It's a big deal It was just like, oh, you're the coolest guy I've ever met That's how it was in my town too When I was growing up Wait, how old were the boys?

[1541] They were in their 20s at this point But my great -grandfathers, the younger brother He was like seven So I'm whispering like, oh, it's cute Gather around, gather around everyone Nice.

[1542] So then, so they were having a dispute, and James was known.

[1543] The children were all scared of him growing up for these violent outbursts he'd have, and they got in a dispute, and he grabbed the axe off the barn door, and he murdered Dawn.

[1544] And Anna, the mother, heard it, and ran down to the barn, and found James covered in blood.

[1545] And when my mom tells it, she goes, and it's really upsetting for James, because he was a clean freak.

[1546] That wasn't really like, I don't know if you need the icing on the cake.

[1547] Also, he was upset because of all his brother's blood on him.

[1548] It's sticky, you know.

[1549] But Anna is kind of a baller.

[1550] I still can't believe that she would do this.

[1551] She said, I got it handled.

[1552] And she stayed with James alone in this wilderness with her son.

[1553] I just murdered her other son.

[1554] And she sent George, my great -grandfather, at seven years old, to the nearest house to get help.

[1555] and that was two miles away in the dark in the woods in the dark in the woods in the dark in the so like it's like a bad day and then it's like a really bad day you know it's not great and thankfully he doesn't remember much of it but uh james went to a mental institution and he died there and yeah my grandma never knew until she was 18 uh and then four more people died of you know old age or just that stuff that people died of all the time in the day and in that house and that house got very haunted my mother seen ghosts in there and then we would go camp and sleep in this house and we'd be like we want to go to Disneyland and she's like no we're going you've got to remember your history oh no don't remember your history you can learn nothing and so and and that's really it what more do you want I mean listen people layer upon layer.

[1556] That's crazy.

[1557] So good.

[1558] So good.

[1559] And do you think, did you bring a little James into the Kemper characterization?

[1560] I don't know.

[1561] Maybe he's in there.

[1562] Maybe he's in there right now.

[1563] You know what was in there was Robert California from the office again?

[1564] Not to ruin it.

[1565] But it wasn't like I was like, and a little Robert California.

[1566] I was like sprinkling.

[1567] It just happened.

[1568] And then James Stewart, I just felt like there was a little bit of, a polite honest the formality you're right and then a lot of my dad who is Ed Kemper right yeah now that's another home yeah what's next for Cameron Britain yeah oh a girl in the spires web comes out November 9th Claire Foy's the best she's everything you'd hope she'd be and then okay so February 15th a new Netflix show called umbrella Academy comes out What's that about?

[1569] That one is a comic book series brought to live action.

[1570] Mary J. Blige and I play Two Assassins.

[1571] Nice.

[1572] Yes.

[1573] Give it to me now.

[1574] It's me and Mary J. Blige traveling through time.

[1575] And assassinating the good guys.

[1576] Did you win the lottery?

[1577] The two twins from the Shining are walking away.

[1578] Oh, they're so upset they have to leave.

[1579] You upset the twins from the Shining.

[1580] Oh, I'm not playing with you forever and ever and ever.

[1581] They're not there.

[1582] What are you talking about?

[1583] I don't see any twins from the shangier.

[1584] Bye.

[1585] And we can't talk about whether or not you're on the next season of Mind Hunter, but you can tell us one thing about someone else who's on it, right?

[1586] I found out that they'll have Charles Manson as an interview.

[1587] You heard it.

[1588] first, kid.

[1589] The same actor is actually playing Manson again in Tarantino's Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

[1590] So this guy is like so good at.

[1591] He's Australian.

[1592] Whoa.

[1593] And they got the makeup artist from The Darkest Hour, who just won an Academy Award.

[1594] So this dude looks like Manson.

[1595] And then they'll cover the Atlanta child murderers.

[1596] Wow.

[1597] Creepy.

[1598] Yeah.

[1599] So you're going to see Holden Ford, you know, not just do studies.

[1600] He's going to be in the field practice.

[1601] and trying to actually catch bad guys.

[1602] And we're going to see a little of that BTK, right, because that got laid in real subtle.

[1603] My favorite thing is people who don't follow true crime, and they would watch Mind Hunter, and then go, who's the guy with the mustache?

[1604] Really upset, and I'd be like, it's BTK.

[1605] I don't know.

[1606] I knew it immediately, but whatever.

[1607] Type in Wichita, Kansas, and then serial killer, and then go down another rabbit hole.

[1608] Just keep going down those rabbit holes.

[1609] Goodbye.

[1610] When he got arrested, because he sent a floppy disk in in 2001, did you guys cover him?

[1611] VTK?

[1612] I think I did.

[1613] I can't remember.

[1614] So he sent in a floppy disk to the cops, and he said, will you guys be able to pull up deleted files?

[1615] And they said, no, we can't do that.

[1616] And then they pulled up deleted files, and they found him.

[1617] And they pulled them over, and the cops said, you know why I pulled you over?

[1618] and Dennis Raider said, I have a pretty good idea.

[1619] And that's the story.

[1620] Oh, my God.

[1621] What a creep.

[1622] I cannot wait for Mind Hunter.

[1623] And we were so, we thought of this of having you.

[1624] And then we're like, because it was truly like dream, the dream idea.

[1625] And the fact that you said yes and that you're here with us tonight is so awesome.

[1626] Thank you so much.

[1627] Absolutely.

[1628] So exciting.

[1629] Thank you guys.

[1630] Cameron, Britain, everybody.

[1631] Yay.

[1632] Celebrities.

[1633] Oh, my.

[1634] Good.

[1635] He has a lot of ballet training.

[1636] We have another guest.

[1637] We have one more guests.

[1638] Yes.

[1639] It's very exciting.

[1640] It's Josh Mankowitz from Dateline.

[1641] Josh Makoets from Dateline.

[1642] Come on out.

[1643] We have to rehearse our cues.

[1644] We're not good at this.

[1645] We're not too fast.

[1646] Here, come sit here.

[1647] Let's pull our chairs back a little.

[1648] If you work for Dateline, you dream about one day sitting in the chair that Ed Kemper sat.

[1649] Okay, all I'm going to tell you about the voice is that when I started in this business, which was before either of you were born, I worked for a different network.

[1650] I will not identify that network, but its initials are ABC.

[1651] And they sent me, because I had this voice, they sent me to something like $50 ,000 to $100 ,000 worth of voice coaching lessons to get me to get me to sound like every other announcer on the radio and I did my absolute best but I tried but it didn't work this is the voice I went in with this is the voice I came out with I love it but we're glad it works for us yeah now you guys date line you guys have followers that have a name for themselves right we you mean like murderinos Well, yeah, don't, isn't, aren't there Dateline heads or something?

[1652] Dateline?

[1653] There's a, there's a, on Twitter, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a group called Dateline Divas.

[1654] Yeah, there may be some of them here today.

[1655] Yeah, it's a, it's a big community, not tremendously unlike this one, devoted and, and, and they know all the details of the stories.

[1656] Like, people come up to me in airports, and they inevitably see.

[1657] say two things.

[1658] One is they say, I was watching murder at the crossroads and I fell asleep, what happened?

[1659] Oh my God.

[1660] You're just supposed to tell the rest of the case.

[1661] Clearly, I've put millions of Americans to sleep.

[1662] It's the voice.

[1663] Yeah, they're out.

[1664] And the other thing is they say to me something that they saw, not on Dateline, but where Dateline gets repurposed on ID or one of the other channels that it runs on.

[1665] And they say, they talk about a murder from like six or seven years ago.

[1666] They go, okay, what happened?

[1667] The guy who killed his wife, I'm like, I'm going to need a little more than that.

[1668] And then eventually we figure it out.

[1669] I always think when you guys are interviewing, like, you know how sometimes you interview the husband, because he's claimed that he's innocent, that whole thing?

[1670] Like, have you ever had an experience where you're interviewing one of those people and it's like creeping you out or you have to take a break or like you know they're full of shit in some way?

[1671] Well frequently you know that they're full of shit but but which we can't really say on Dateline but you know first of all frequently by the time we're talking to someone who's the accused murderer they're either the accused murderer or by the time we're talking to them they're the convicted murderer but you know we try and talk to everybody in the story and everybody gets their say.

[1672] That doesn't mean that I don't get to poke holes in whatever their defense was.

[1673] But usually by the time people are sitting across from me, they are on their best behavior because they're trying to, you know, this is all a big conspiracy.

[1674] My wife's family is out to get me. I'm really not guilty.

[1675] So usually they're not scary.

[1676] Now there was a guy last year in Montana who, girlfriend disappeared and has not been fed. Yeah, shout out to Montana with all those places to hide a body.

[1677] Congratulations.

[1678] She's never been found.

[1679] And we were speaking with him, and he was locked up at this point.

[1680] And he got very angry that I was questioning his version of events.

[1681] And he started yelling at me. and normally they're shackled and normally like if we're on camera like right there is some big corrections officer but in this case they were sort of out in the hall and he wasn't actually shackled and I thought to myself this guy's going to kick my ass because he's a lot bigger than I am and a lot younger but then he I think realized that that was not going to be the preferred part of the correctional experience and he did not and he calmed down and then he got up and laughed and then we got him to come back and you know it ended up it worked out okay but no I mean creeped out no and right and afraid for my safety probably only that one time but most of the time like you're talking to somebody and you either know or believe that the story they're telling you is not true but you know you're sort of more interested in the give and take of the interview yeah It is great when they think they're getting away with lying.

[1682] Or like that they really are, look.

[1683] I'm so smart.

[1684] I'm going to convince you.

[1685] Is there a case that's either your favorite or least favorite or the one you get asked about the most?

[1686] The one I get asked about all the time is the murder of Tom and Jackie Hawks right here in Southern California off the coast by Newport.

[1687] I'm sure you know this, many of you know this story.

[1688] A guy wanted to steal their boat.

[1689] They'd put it up for sale and he persuaded.

[1690] them to take him out on essentially a test drive he brought along a friend of his who was a gang member that he'd hired off some corner I think in Long Beach and they yeah again shout out to LBC they know the LBC knows who they were and they took him to the gap to dress him in a way that made him look inoffensive yes the gap's not like a sponsor of yours or anything yeah it is yeah pick up Some socks this week, three for five.

[1691] So they took this gang member to the gap, and then these people let him on the boat, and they ended up paying for it in a horrible way.

[1692] And that's the story I get asked about all the time, and all the people involved, they're locked up now.

[1693] Yeah, that's good.

[1694] That's so creepy.

[1695] I hate those ones that are the cold case ones.

[1696] What was your first, can you remember the first one that you ever reported on?

[1697] The first murder?

[1698] Yeah.

[1699] Brianna Denison in Reno, Nevada.

[1700] I'm still in touch with her mom.

[1701] Really?

[1702] Years later, yeah.

[1703] Well, you know, you end up, if you're doing this, or at least if you're doing it right, you end up sort of staying in touch with these people in your life because you spend a lot of time with them over a very short period of time and you end up becoming very close to them sort of as you talk about their story because you're talking about the thing they're never going to get over.

[1704] I mean, there's this myth that locking people up is somehow, you know, makes everything okay for the families.

[1705] It doesn't.

[1706] And, you know, so you end up getting much closer to these people than maybe you otherwise might.

[1707] And so, yeah, I'm still in touch with a lot of these people.

[1708] And that was a terrible story.

[1709] Amazing.

[1710] Like all of them.

[1711] And that was in, I think, 2006, 2007.

[1712] By which time I already been at Dateline 10 years, but we didn't start doing true crime until then.

[1713] Yeah.

[1714] Wow.

[1715] Do you want to plug anything?

[1716] What's coming up next?

[1717] Well, let's see.

[1718] I have like three or four things in production right now, but I don't know when they're going to be on the air.

[1719] Are any of them with Mary J. Blige?

[1720] None of them.

[1721] Okay.

[1722] I can't say.

[1723] Okay, okay.

[1724] Yeah.

[1725] No, you're right.

[1726] You're right.

[1727] That would be inappropriate.

[1728] This Friday is a great story in South Carolina that's reported by Andrea Canning.

[1729] the story that took place, I think, in 2013, like two or three different trials.

[1730] And, you know, the stories that, I mean, at Dateline, we always try and sort of draw a line in between the story, which is extremely sad, and the storytelling, which can be kind of fun.

[1731] And, I mean, we don't say, here's the story about a guy who was accused of killing his wife, but it turned out to be the next door neighbor, now stick around for 59 minutes.

[1732] Yeah.

[1733] We draw it out, as you know.

[1734] So the hardest stories to tell are the ones in which the obvious suspect ends up being the guilty party.

[1735] This is not one of those stories.

[1736] There's a bunch of different places to go with the narrative, and Andrea Canny does a great job with it.

[1737] So that's this Friday on Dayline.

[1738] Awesome.

[1739] Well, we've been Twitter friends with you for so long.

[1740] I'm so glad we finally got you on.

[1741] I'm so thrilled to be here.

[1742] Thank you so much.

[1743] And, you know, I fly around the country all the time doing these stories.

[1744] And now when I fly around the country, I'm listening to the two of you.

[1745] Amazing.

[1746] Thank you for being here.

[1747] Josh Mankowitz, everyone.

[1748] Josh Mankowitz from Dateline, everybody.

[1749] So much.

[1750] Thank you.

[1751] Yes.

[1752] Happy Halloween him off the stage.

[1753] You guys, we did it.

[1754] We Halloweened.

[1755] I can't believe what an incredible audience.

[1756] and you guys have been.

[1757] You were triple the size we're used to talking to, and you were twice as quiet as any.

[1758] I mean, in my mind, I was backstage telling Georgia, who was just like, look, they're going to be talking the entire time.

[1759] You have to get ready for that.

[1760] You need to be prepared.

[1761] That's all I do to her all day long.

[1762] We'll start by telling them to shut up, and we'll yell at them.

[1763] I bet the bar lines were really long, and everyone couldn't get shit -faced.

[1764] Oh, that's right.

[1765] You went from us.

[1766] There's people in the front row going, that's fucking right you owe me four drinks they spent all their drink money on parking we got it we owe you one we should have snuck you a Coors like damn it I'm so sorry you can go to the guardhouse all our friends are there so we really did start talking and became friends at this Halloween party and we had talked all night and we were like let's meet for lunch I want to talk to you more We were talking about true crime, and we met and talked for five hours.

[1767] Like, Cafe 101, you guys know that place.

[1768] They let you sit there for five hours and just keep drinking coffee.

[1769] They do.

[1770] Pretty chill.

[1771] And a little while later, I think I texted you, do you want to start a true crime podcast with me?

[1772] Because all I wanted to do was keep talking to Karen about true crime because I hadn't met anyone who was excited to talk about theories and favorite cases and, you know, all this horrible things, these things that happen that are so awful.

[1773] I felt like I could talk to her about it.

[1774] And so we started this podcast in my old little apartment in 2016.

[1775] Yeah, and little, yeah, and little Armenia.

[1776] And now...

[1777] In real Armenia.

[1778] It was a war -torn summer.

[1779] And now we're downtown at the Microsoft Theater during the largest fucking live podcast ever.

[1780] And I can't believe it.

[1781] Honestly, I'm blown away.

[1782] We're so fucking honored and thrilled to be here and appreciate you guys so much showing up on Halloween and supporting us to this whole thing.

[1783] It's incredible.

[1784] We do spend a lot of time in between trying to answer emails quickly.

[1785] We spend a lot of time staring at each other going, what the fuck is going on?

[1786] And you guys have basically given us this humongous gift.

[1787] For some reason, it was like you were all just sitting there waiting to have this conversation.

[1788] with us.

[1789] And you were there from day one.

[1790] You have turned out show after show.

[1791] Everything we do, you're so supportive and you're also creating communities with each other.

[1792] And it is such a powerful thing to watch all of these people come together under the guise of true crime and actually raise money and make friends and deal with anxiety and do stuff that's such a hard thing to do alone.

[1793] And now you're not alone anymore.

[1794] It's the fucking coolest thing.

[1795] And you're doing it.

[1796] You guys are doing it for each other.

[1797] Yeah.

[1798] Thank you guys for letting us do this.

[1799] This is our dream job.

[1800] Thank you for being here.

[1801] And we have to thank...

[1802] Right.

[1803] We have to thank with Microsoft Theater.

[1804] They made us a fucking rug among many other things.

[1805] They're so supportive and excited.

[1806] There's a lot of...

[1807] Apparently, we've been told murderinos that work here, which is the coolest thing.

[1808] But we also have to thank our agent Joe Swartz.

[1809] The first year of touring goes, what if you did a live show on Halloween?

[1810] And we're like, shut up.

[1811] And then he was like, how about the Microsoft?

[1812] 7 ,000 people were like, shut up.

[1813] No, we were like, no. Why are you trying to set us up for failure all the time?

[1814] But he did it.

[1815] He convinced us to do it, and you guys sold it out.

[1816] And so thank you, Joe Schwartz, for letting us sass you constantly, and for setting up these tours in the live shows.

[1817] and thanks you guys for buying these tickets and making it a thing.

[1818] We're so thrilled.

[1819] We're just so thrilled.

[1820] Stephen and to Vince for supporting us.

[1821] Yes.

[1822] We love it.

[1823] Thanks, you guys.

[1824] Stay sexy.

[1825] And...

[1826] Bye.

[1827] Thank you.