#1192 - Tony Hinchcliffe

[0] Powerful young Tony Incliffe.

[1] Hello.

[2] I'm smelling this weed.

[3] In 12 hours, I'll be free.

[4] I'm excited for you, dude.

[5] I didn't do shit for Sober October.

[6] Did you stay drunk?

[7] I didn't stay drunk.

[8] I just had a drink or two pretty much every night.

[9] Would you ever consider doing something like Sober October?

[10] I mean, like, if, you know, if I was a part of it and, like, I got all that promotional push that everybody's giving themselves.

[11] Hell yeah.

[12] For the business point.

[13] That's the only reason why you do it?

[14] That's the only reason I would do it.

[15] I have no reason.

[16] I'm in, I'm in, you know, I'm in perfect shape, feel good about life.

[17] Every day is good.

[18] You know, I've been cutting back on things naturally.

[19] Like, I'm done with my, like, college years of, you know, getting wasted at the store and things like that.

[20] Like, it's like...

[21] Well, you're also not smoking cigarettes anymore.

[22] Right.

[23] I'm off cigarettes, which helps a lot, by the way.

[24] You know, I got to say for anybody out there that drinks and smokes, the two correlate.

[25] You quit one.

[26] It's going to help with the other big time.

[27] I mean, I'm just saying, like, cutting back on smoking because the two go so good together.

[28] Yeah, you were finding that those pens weren't really helping you that much, huh?

[29] The nicotine pens?

[30] Oh, yeah, no, I love them.

[31] Yeah, they're...

[32] But did it help you quit?

[33] Yeah.

[34] You were still...

[35] You were saying that it's not the same.

[36] It's not the same.

[37] I mean, when you love cigarettes and both of my parents smoked, my mom quit when she got pregnant with me and then started again, like, a year later, and she would smoke, like, in the little, you know, the little house that I grew, grew up in and it was just always like my whole life was I was built to be a cigarette smoker those two were probably smoking siggy's while banging making me like it was like I just love cigarettes I even still love the nice gust of secondhand smoke now that I'm a non -smoker it blows my mind hearing people all those years say oh cigarette stink like it's like I I fucking love it oh I just love it it just makes me feel good it's weird and I know because it's pure poison it just goes to Like, what a dark lord I am.

[38] Is that you or is that just cigarettes in general have a grip on people?

[39] It's a dark grip.

[40] It's really is.

[41] It's so crazy because what else gives you nothing and takes everything.

[42] And still, it's just this is my favorite part of the day, favorite part of the night, after sex, during coffee.

[43] They said that Johnny Carson, when he was on his deathbed, was just rotting out from the inside.

[44] He was just falling apart.

[45] He was like, those goddamn cigarettes.

[46] Yeah, it's one of the main reasons why I actually, was reading about Johnny and yeah because it's sort of correlated I still you know go on runs every day pretty much every day short jogs and this and that to wake up and get the day started and there was a while there where I was had a lot of like coughing up like coming up not really coughing up shit but it was sort of just like it was there and I'd have to clear my throat before going on stage and it started to get like it wasn't on stage but it started to creep up during work hours like it's like Joey Diaz just murked a room and I'm next and he's bringing you guys ready for your next command I'm like uh -uh -uh it's like oh I gotta get my shit together Did you ever cough up anything black?

[47] No I've talked to people that have hawked up shit and it was black and they spit it in the ground and they saw black like a black luggy Yeah I was like why did you quit immediately?

[48] Yeah no six more years Yeah but I read about Johnny and he was talking about like not only was that a major thing like those damn cigarettes like he just kept repeating that on his death bit but they also talk about like how um he was like swimming which he loved to do and he just like couldn't do it anymore so he was like almost drowning all the time and stuff like it was just like he was out he was gone he just couldn't breathe that guy went through a rough patch like not just that do you ever read the divorce settlements that johnny carson had to go through no he was one of the most famous like divorce rapings where you just go oh my god like you find out how much you had to pay his ex -wife like oh jesus oh no he he he got taken oh man edie murphy had a bit about it edie murphy had a bit about johnny carson's divorce in his act i think it was in raw did it on one of his specials yes wow it was that bad geez yeah this is on the national choir but it says 220 grand a month was not enough wow cars wife rejects settlement and asks $220 ,000 a month in living expenses.

[49] 17 million is not enough, she said.

[50] What year does that say at the top left?

[51] 80.

[52] 83 or 93?

[53] What did she look like?

[54] She looks kind of hot there.

[55] Like that dirty 40, that dirty 40 year old look.

[56] I like that.

[57] My goodness.

[58] Back then, that's like a million a month.

[59] Closing on her.

[60] That was the one he split up with.

[61] he gives up fast life and is secretly seeing wife again oh well that's the inquiry so that's that's the gal he was married to that he had to give up 17 million bucks oh so he's married to her for a long time well how many times did he get married that seems like the same gal there world's most expensive world's most expensive divorce settlements johnny carson and joanna holland 20 million that ain't shit it now.

[62] We were going over some last night or yesterday on the podcast.

[63] Steve Wynn gave up a billion.

[64] Oh.

[65] Oh, what could she have possibly have done to earn that?

[66] Nothing.

[67] There's nothing she could have done.

[68] She had that voodoo pussy son.

[69] Unless she had all the ideas and he's just not admitting it.

[70] Yeah.

[71] You should start a casino.

[72] Maybe I'll start a casino.

[73] You should have crap.

[74] Yeah, maybe I'll open up a craps table.

[75] Even then.

[76] Even then.

[77] How much is a consultation fee worth?

[78] A billion.

[79] Oh, yeah.

[80] Well, that missed sort of, look at him, by the way.

[81] He looks like he's wearing a mask.

[82] He looks like it's Halloween 24 -7.

[83] Yeah.

[84] Third divorce unlikely for Steve Wynn.

[85] Poor guy.

[86] Good Lord.

[87] You think a guy.

[88] Yeah, these guys just keep going in.

[89] That's what's crazy.

[90] They're like, no, no, she's the one.

[91] Oh, no, no, it's never going to change.

[92] Yeah, he's got it all figured out.

[93] No, no, she's the one.

[94] Ugh.

[95] Yeah, it's a strange thing.

[96] You know, it becomes humorous.

[97] Like, Elizabeth Taylor, who was stunningly beautiful when she was young.

[98] Did you ever see who's afraid of a Virginia Woolf?

[99] Uh -uh.

[100] It's a must -see.

[101] It's a great, great old movie.

[102] But Elizabeth Taylor was probably in her 20s, I guess, when she did that, and she was just so beautiful.

[103] But as she got older, like, she was.

[104] She was, Wow.

[105] See if you can see, that's a pretty good picture of her, but if you can see like her whole body and everything, I mean, she was just a bombshell.

[106] And she was a bombshell and, you know, what was it, the 50s or something like that?

[107] Like that picture of her black and white on the second level where you see your body.

[108] Yeah.

[109] That's a real body, too, dude.

[110] They ain't no gym time there.

[111] That's just straight up genetics and whiskey.

[112] Look at them.

[113] Look at them legs in 10.

[114] That's just, that's just biology.

[115] But then towards the end, I mean, she had been married and divorced.

[116] Don't show the old pictures.

[117] Don't show the old pictures.

[118] You stop it, Jamie.

[119] Google Elizabeth Taylor amount of times married.

[120] Because I believe she was married.

[121] A lot.

[122] Yeah, I want to say she's like seven or eight times.

[123] No fewer than eight times Yeah She married a couple of guys twice Eight marriages Only seven husbands She married Richard Burton twice She married a bunch of gay guys too Huh Allegedly gay guys Her first marriage One of the heirs of the hotelier That's a weird word Hotelier Hotelier Is that I say it Conrad Hilton Ended in divorce After less than a year Yeah she was a wild woman Wild woman She got paid for all those That's its own business right She was rich as fuck You know, she was really successful as an actress, so she probably had the money in a lot of them because she was dating some guys that looked suspiciously homosexual, you know, like Liberace homosexual.

[124] Like, wait, what?

[125] Like, yeah.

[126] She paid a million dollars to play Cleopatra in 1963.

[127] Yeah, a million bucks in 1963 is probably like 20 million bucks today.

[128] What does a minute?

[129] Google that.

[130] What is a million dollars in 1963 worth today?

[131] that's crazy they paid her that much money damn who whoever her agent is dig that motherfucker up this is what dollar times dot com says it's worth a point one million eight yeah that's it so yeah wow i thought it would be like 20 annual inflation over this period was 3 .88 % that's um when you think of like like who's the top paid female today is it jennifer lawrence maybe probably yeah yeah what does she get she probably gets like 20 right Somewhere in that 15 to 20 range, probably, yeah.

[132] So she shits on Elizabeth Taylor.

[133] Fucking Hunger Games, bitch!

[134] Yeah.

[135] Yeah.

[136] Yeah.

[137] But anyway, she married a bunch of gay guys, I think.

[138] See if you find out Elizabeth Taylor married gay guys.

[139] Because that was, like, always a stand -up comedy joke that when I was first starting out, I remember a bunch of guys had jokes about Elizabeth Taylor.

[140] But I remember a chick had a joke about it, too, about Elizabeth Taylor, always marrying gay guys.

[141] Like, not knowing.

[142] Like that she's so old and fucked up on pills.

[143] She doesn't know the guy she's marrying her gay.

[144] That's crazy.

[145] I wonder why she would do that.

[146] She's probably won a companionship.

[147] Yeah.

[148] You know, she was, I think in the end, there was rumors of substance abuse.

[149] I mean, I'm proliferi, peripherally, peripherally associated with these news stories.

[150] I don't really know them that well, you know.

[151] I just remember reading something about.

[152] substance abuse and drinking and yeah the end is always rough man the end's rough for a lot of people bro yeah those those pain pills and everything catch you it's happening the roughest of the rough man yeah people who go out with those pain pill addictions when you think about we were talking about uh joey diaz and i were talking yesterday about prints um you know he was uh he called me up and he was singing to me he was singing me that song do you want him or do you want me because I want you He's like purple rain cock sucker Joe Rogan When was the last time you listen to Purple Rain?

[153] He goes, I'm stoned as a motherfucker right now Listening to Purple Rain God damn Prince was good And I was thinking about it Like Prince was just one of the many greats That we lost to pain pills Just real recently Tom Petty Prince Who else?

[154] We lost several Several Big name Powerful celebrities to pain pills Michael Jackson No he was purple fall he was um he wasn't pain pills he was that shit that they uh used to put people under yeah but he was in like a lot of pain right wasn't that one of his things i don't think so i think he was just so fucked up in the head so he had so much anxiety and he uh he just couldn't sleep you know he's just a mess man what there's rumors that he was addicted to pain pills michael jackson yeah yeah and he was working and shit he did yeah and he was working uh to make that big comeback thing at the time too so they had him out there dancing and shit looking like a bag of bones i'm pretty sure they said that the pro pro propo fall is what killed him because he couldn't sleep also yeah yeah you need to sleep and what that what he was doing is just getting sedated every night i mean that's the reason why his doctor went to jail he called it milk right can i have some more of the milk oh god can i'm having a little trouble sleeping the it's sparked from that accident he got in when he got on fire oh that's right He caught his hair on fire.

[155] For the pain from that.

[156] Yeah.

[157] Well, that's what happened to this guy that I know.

[158] He hurt himself doing construction and then got on some pills, you know, because he had a back injury.

[159] They put him on pills.

[160] And then life is over.

[161] That's all it takes is one accident.

[162] I've only taken a half of one pain pill one time.

[163] And I know the exact day that it happened because it was the day that the WWE network came out.

[164] I had my wisdom teeth pulled.

[165] And they're like, take all these that you want.

[166] I'm like, ah, I don't really, you know, I'm very reactive to pills, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[167] But I was in a lot of pain, so I'm like, fuck it.

[168] I'll take a half of one.

[169] And man, if I didn't go through that whole network's library that day, just with a smile on my face, drooling on myself, loving life.

[170] Just watching all the old stuff that I watched as a kid.

[171] Wow.

[172] It's so fun.

[173] See, it was the day the network came out.

[174] It would be nice if pain pills didn't do anything bad to you.

[175] they just fucked you up but no physical harm no addiction no addiction no physical harm I mean people are always going to be people are addicted to washing their hands I mean people are addicted to really weird shit there's always going to be people that are addicted to things in that they can't quit doing them but addiction like in your bones like those pain pills well they feel it felt so good I remember the feeling of just like oh this is the greatest feeling I could do this all the time.

[176] This is incredible.

[177] It's just such a, it's incomparable to even like, you know, drink or pot or anything like that.

[178] It's just sit there and smile just waves of heat.

[179] I was real sick once and I got a hold of that real NyQuil in the 90s.

[180] It was the last time I took it.

[181] The real NyQuil, that stuff, I guess it was codeine.

[182] Was it Kodine that was in there?

[183] Yeah, something like that, right?

[184] It's the Susserp.

[185] It was wonderful.

[186] It was wonderful.

[187] I was just my pillow and my blanket were just cuddling me with love and I was just lying in bed with a stupid smile on my face watching TV just like ah I'm so happy yeah they don't make that NyQuil like they used to you gotta get it from a doctor a shady doctor pseudephedrine is what it was called that's what it is yeah nasal de congestion I think I mean since it's what was taken out of it hmm why did I think is it like codeine is it a codeine we've done this before right we've talked about this before I saw there's a THC liquid something or other being sold like in 1 ,200 milligram, but it's sold in like a bottle that looks just like the propofil.

[188] Oh, Jesus.

[189] Our activist or something.

[190] Somebody tried to give me some marijuana beer.

[191] Mm -mm.

[192] Yeah.

[193] THC infused beer.

[194] Like, you get that shit the fuck away from me. They're making CBD infused beer soon.

[195] Like, I think Budweiser or Budweiser someone invests a shitload of money into it in Canada or MGD.

[196] Wow.

[197] Wow.

[198] That's interesting.

[199] Well, it would counteract the effects of alcohol and somewhat Because one of the things about alcohol, right, is that it causes inflammation CBD perhaps could counteract the inflammation Yeah, one of my scientists I don't mess around with any of that THC infused stuff I like the CBD but THC when it comes to anything other than smoking it I do not play You know what I like pal?

[200] I like these yep I like joints that are wrapped in in tobacco Yeah, these backwoods jammies these are my favorite favorite because they give you like a little bit of elevation you get a little bit from the from the cigarette the nicotine the tobacco and then you get the weed whoa it's a combo corona and madella hmm corona and medella was the first to take the plunge investing hundreds of millions of dollars into a Canadian outfit in order to bring THC infused brews to market in northern nation now Molson Coors the second largest brew in the world is reportedly getting into the game the game.

[201] Yeah, that's what's going to be interesting is when, like, Smirnoff starts investing in marijuana, you know, because they're going to.

[202] It's a hundred percent legal in Canada now.

[203] Canada is just, it's just like buying a beer.

[204] It's, thank God, Canada.

[205] You bad motherfuckers up there.

[206] And you can travel in Canada and fly with it.

[207] Yeah.

[208] Well, I love you can fly at LAX with weed now.

[209] Heck yeah.

[210] Yeah.

[211] They say, whatever happens when you get there is on you.

[212] Right.

[213] Yeah.

[214] Did you see the thing that they have in Vegas?

[215] They have dispensary.

[216] like uh or dispensers for marijuana like at the airport and then people are breaking into them and they're stealing weed out of them they're like give me that weed and they say they're not free weed boxes you assholes or that crossing international borders with cannabis is illegal it's at the airport there yeah but does that mean going back yeah or landing either i don't think you can bring it in or take it out but they're saying like if you're at the airport just make sure you're staying here isn't that interesting like you can't even bring it in you even though it's legal there.

[217] Yeah, that's weird.

[218] Wow, there's the box.

[219] Yeah, there's the box.

[220] Disposal for prescription and recreational drug.

[221] Is that in Canada?

[222] This one's in Canada, but they have them in Denver also.

[223] I have the exact, I have photo the exact same thing from Vegas.

[224] I took a picture of it.

[225] Company that's supposed to come around and, like, pick the shit up and dispose of it.

[226] You get your little skinny arm in there.

[227] Oh, my God, that is so funny.

[228] It's a disposal all the times that last second I'm just throwing joint tubes into the, into the, into the trash can like who would actually go up to that thing and throw it in there no one let me let me let me tell you yeah super fucked up like pot only Toronto air cannabis amnesty cans that's hilarious this is just some guy laying on the ground with his mouth open at the bottom of that oh my god did you ever hear the story about a girl who was she went into a porta potty and she thought she saw something like when she was sitting down and then she realized, like, she heard, like, groans.

[229] She realized there was some guy in there inside the porta potty, just laying there watching the shit come out and hitting him in the head.

[230] He was mouth open while she's shitting and pissing on him.

[231] Oh, my God.

[232] He had climbed in to the shit and piss.

[233] That is so disgusting and hot at the same time for some reason.

[234] The fact that a monster would lay there like that.

[235] He probably had a fucking snorkel.

[236] Port -a -Pottie Piper, Luke Christo, suing Boulder for $99 ,99, or equal amount of gold coinage.

[237] Oh, my God.

[238] He's from Boulder, Colorado.

[239] He's suing Boulder, or he's, so it happened in Boulder?

[240] Yeah.

[241] Yeah, Boulder's a trippy place, man. People have been getting really high in Boulder for a long time, and there's no air up there.

[242] so if you get super baked in boulder like you could blow a fuse look at that porta potty it's like built for that it looks like it's like a float tank with the toilet on top it's like a little you know what it's like it's like one of those first class seats you get when you fly to australia oh yeah a little pod get a pod it says it's what yeah it's just getting weird i don't know hold on chrisco has made his mark on the internet under a variety of monikers including omni Rainbow and Sky Orion, whose YouTube channel features clips, including this one, in which he demonstrates his thigh -rubbing technique.

[243] The video's not there for some reason.

[244] Yeah, I wonder why.

[245] It's been pulled from the internet.

[246] Look at them.

[247] So this is the guy.

[248] So he climbed in there to have people shit on him.

[249] And how did he know that there was a girl?

[250] His reward for such patience was a sight of a slender, black -haired white man. What?

[251] I don't know.

[252] Wait a minute.

[253] Don't scroll.

[254] Where are you going?

[255] I didn't know what the hell they were talking about before.

[256] But I'm reading that.

[257] Go back.

[258] A slender, black -haired white man standing between six -foot -five and six -foot -eight -inch is tall with cuts on his back and arms wearing only a pair of sweatpants.

[259] What is this about?

[260] Oh, so this is the security guard realized that he was doing something.

[261] Scroll back up.

[262] So it gets to that.

[263] Imagine, like, waiting there under the toilet and the porta -potty for a hot chick to come in and just like...

[264] Joey Diaz comes in, like, oh, I'm excited about this.

[265] Oh, I've been eating Cuban sandwiches all week.

[266] There you go.

[267] In June 2011, we noted that a woman attended the Hamann Festival, stepped into a portable laboratory in which she lifted to its lid.

[268] She saw something moving in the deep, dark depths below.

[269] Q. Shock horror and a quick escape, which she fetched a man and asked him to look inside.

[270] He too saw some movement beneath a tarp inside the tank.

[271] And after exiting the chamber, he heard the door.

[272] locked behind them.

[273] At that point, he summoned the security.

[274] Okay, that's what happened.

[275] And then they caught that guy.

[276] So he's in there with a tarp, hiding under a tarp while people were shitting on him.

[277] Look at his face.

[278] Is that the mugshot?

[279] Is there shit all over him?

[280] Oh, God.

[281] You son of a bitch.

[282] Oh, me. It's like the it clown meets the shit clown.

[283] Oh, look at this.

[284] He sat down with Fox 31 for a jailhouse interview in which he referred to spying on urinating or defecating women, in quotes, the highest creature in the universe he maintained as, in quotes, praising God and said, in quotes, it sounds kind of weird, but I would just find my peace and go away, say, thank you, goddess, and go about my night.

[285] Wow.

[286] Isn't that the scariest part when you drop a deuce in the toilet and you hear the words, thank you, God, is coming from the toilet?

[287] Thank you, goddess, for your offerings.

[288] He had other people's and other places around Boulder also.

[289] Just to know that someone like that is a real person.

[290] Like you have to realize, sometimes you have to see someone like that to go, okay, I don't know everybody.

[291] There's a long range.

[292] You know, if there's a chart of like fucked up to like totally normal, there's a lot of variables in there.

[293] And there's a lot of people that just don't fit into your ideal.

[294] who knows we may know people that are into that type of thing we should set up like a trap did you say earl skakel what what did you say no i said we might know people why did you say earl what jeff ross did you say jeff ross you son of a bitch listen don't do that off camera and expect me to keep secrets we should put uh one of those jeremiah watkins does what just kidding folks just we like we love those guys just jokes Just jokes.

[295] Yeah.

[296] Do you think we do?

[297] Do you think we know anybody who likes to get shit on?

[298] Well, Jim Norton.

[299] Yeah.

[300] Jim Norton will tell you about it.

[301] We should put one behind the comedy store and see if anyone starts to, like, look it up and down and lay down in it.

[302] You know, they had this test they did with men where they took men that were now before we get any further.

[303] I don't know who conducted these tests, or Jamie could probably find it.

[304] They conducted tests where they put devices on penises.

[305] Who talked about this?

[306] Was Christopher Ryan may have talked about this?

[307] And maybe our friend Chris Ryan talked about this.

[308] They put sensors on penises and they showed homophobic men erotica and homosexual erotica in particular.

[309] Like guys getting their dick sucked by guys and they got aroused by it.

[310] They put like these things on it.

[311] So that's what we would need to do.

[312] We'd need to, like, homophobic men are aroused by gay male porn.

[313] Here it is.

[314] Homophobia is associated with sexual excitement by male -on -male sex.

[315] One study.

[316] This is the greatest reality show ever in the making right now.

[317] I know, right?

[318] One study asked heterosexual men how comfortable and anxious they are around gay men.

[319] Based on these scores, they then divided these men into two groups, men that are homophobic and men that are not.

[320] These men were then shown three, four -minute videos.

[321] That's a long time if you're sitting there watching a dude suck a dick.

[322] One video depicted straight sex, one depicted lesbian sex, and one depicted gay male sex.

[323] While this was happening, a device was attached to each participant's penis.

[324] This device has been found to be triggered by sexual arousal, but not by other types of arousal, such as nervousness or fear arousal often has a very different.

[325] meaning in psychology than in proper usage.

[326] I wonder what the device looks like.

[327] It's just some dude's mouth.

[328] Yeah, it's a dude's mouth.

[329] I'm pretty sure this was a Japanese game show experiment of some of the time.

[330] Was it?

[331] They had a guy get blown by another dude and he had to last a certain amount of time.

[332] Oh, I did hear about that.

[333] They kept him under a shot.

[334] Wait, man, he had to last without coming.

[335] He had to go like four or five minutes or something like that.

[336] Without blowing a load.

[337] He'd win a bunch of money.

[338] And if a guy was sucking his dick.

[339] Yeah.

[340] People don't realize that Japanese, before.

[341] fear factor Japanese game shows were on another level they were doing some fucking insane shit on Japanese TV that was one of the some of the early YouTube clips we used to watch was Japanese game shows those guys are way they're always ahead of it Ninja Warrior yeah yeah right was that a Japanese show first I think so ninjas and stuff yeah should be I mean then they first started like that's how it got on to the way it is because G4 had a contest for like the first American to go over and do it.

[342] And that just sort of snowballed from there.

[343] And then they had that show that was kind of a version of it for America called Wipeout.

[344] Right?

[345] Remember that?

[346] Because that was the same people that produced Fear Factor produced Wipe Out.

[347] And they had MXC where they would like auto -dub them or do the voice dubs.

[348] And it would seem a little funny, but they'd be like the waiters versus the service staff.

[349] And it'd be almost a big joke.

[350] Do you remember what I'm talking about?

[351] No. It was called MXC.

[352] Like, I don't remember the full name.

[353] Mm -mm.

[354] I'll pull up a video.

[355] M -X -C.

[356] So anyway, we put these sensors on Earl Skagel's dick and have someone taking shit in front of him.

[357] Earl's like, what the fuck?

[358] What did I do, guys, nothing?

[359] Earl, we're sorry, we're just joking around.

[360] Oh, that girl got hit in the head.

[361] Now, here's the thing.

[362] I can't help but thinking that that lady's running through shit now after we talked about it.

[363] I don't see that as mud.

[364] It's just a silly Japanese show, but here's the other one.

[365] I was telling you about.

[366] I can only find it on Live League, but it is...

[367] Gay versus straight blowjob challenge.

[368] Oh my God.

[369] So who's the gay guy?

[370] This is the big guy, I believe.

[371] The big guy's gay.

[372] Yeah.

[373] And the straight guy, wow.

[374] And the gay guy says those pants are hot.

[375] And so this guy has to stand there.

[376] See if we can get Takuya.

[377] Oh, my God.

[378] He just sucked this guy.

[379] Of course, if he doesn't get hard, see, he might not get hard like this.

[380] What does the expression mean?

[381] Oh, my God.

[382] Welcome to another episode of win -win.

[383] Either you win money or you come.

[384] The sound of a high -speed vacuum puts his hand in his mouth.

[385] His expression has changed dramatically.

[386] Oh, my God.

[387] Wow.

[388] It's always those fat guys that really suck the best dicks, I bet.

[389] I love that you throw, I bet, at the end of that.

[390] It's a comment.

[391] You have to say, I bet.

[392] I would imagine.

[393] It's like a comment.

[394] This guy took his shirt off.

[395] What happened there?

[396] Oh, he shot.

[397] He shot.

[398] Thank you.

[399] I enjoyed that, he says.

[400] Oh, my God.

[401] So that poor guy.

[402] Seems like we have a winner.

[403] That poor guy just nutted in that dude's mouth.

[404] He says that's frustrating.

[405] A lot came out, didn't it?

[406] He says.

[407] It's so frustrating though.

[408] Yeah, but a lot came out.

[409] So the guy's telling him, the guy's like, dude, you enjoyed that.

[410] You came really hard.

[411] He goes, it was very frustrating.

[412] He's like, yeah, but a lot came out.

[413] Like, you came hard.

[414] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but frustrating.

[415] Don't like.

[416] No, but you liked it at the time because a lot came out.

[417] Like, it only comes out if it feels good.

[418] That is, they're evil.

[419] That's fucking with the person's mind, you know?

[420] That guy has to think about that shit for the rest of his life.

[421] Oh, he's probably gay now.

[422] He's probably on the other side of the game show, sucking the dicks.

[423] The reason why I would imagine fat guys suck dick better is because it involves food and gay sex at the same time.

[424] It's a combination of things.

[425] Like, fat people probably like things in their mouth, and then on top of that, gay sex.

[426] And Asian as well, Kobayashi is the hot dog eating champion.

[427] I thought you were going to go with a little dick.

[428] Well, oh, that too.

[429] Yeah.

[430] Get the whole thing.

[431] That too.

[432] You're not choking.

[433] Yeah.

[434] You could deep throat it.

[435] You can really go to town.

[436] And it might not even make it to your throat, just deep mouth it.

[437] Deep lip it.

[438] I don't know.

[439] That's a terrible stereotype, but I'm really embarrassed that you brought that up on the show.

[440] Yes.

[441] How dare you?

[442] Indeed.

[443] And if anybody knows things about stereotypes, It's Asians.

[444] And Megan Kelly.

[445] That was an Asian stereo.

[446] I'll get it.

[447] I get it.

[448] Like Samsung.

[449] Yeah, exactly.

[450] I get it.

[451] Megan Kelly, that's a crazy one.

[452] That's a crazy one.

[453] Because she said, I never really got it all the way.

[454] She said that back in her day, people used to be black for Halloween.

[455] She said, why can't you dress up as like Diana Ross?

[456] Yeah.

[457] She essentially said, what's wrong with wearing me?

[458] blackface.

[459] She's like, why is it bad for a, she threw one in that's not even really bad as it, like, she started with why is it bad for a black person to dress up as a white person, or a white person dress up as a black person?

[460] Well, it's not.

[461] Nobody says it's bad for a black person who dress up as a white person.

[462] Dave Chappelle did it on his TV show forever.

[463] Remember?

[464] Yeah.

[465] Can we do that?

[466] Oh, yeah.

[467] Nobody cared.

[468] It's bad because they used to have minstrel shows.

[469] Like, if she knew the history of it, like you go back and watch Al Jolson.

[470] Have you ever watched some of that stuff?

[471] A little bit, but I mean...

[472] We should watch some of that.

[473] Okay.

[474] The Al Jolson stuff?

[475] I don't think we can.

[476] Really?

[477] Yeah, I mean...

[478] What would happen?

[479] We go to jail?

[480] No, I've just...

[481] PC police?

[482] YouTube?

[483] No, no, yeah, yeah.

[484] What about white chicks?

[485] Remember white chicks when the Wayans brothers...

[486] Oh, yeah.

[487] They had that whole movie where they wore white face.

[488] Huge movie.

[489] Nobody cares.

[490] Nobody cares.

[491] Yeah, you could be white.

[492] Nobody cares.

[493] So her saying that was very disingenuous.

[494] It was just to cover her ass.

[495] So that's Al Jolson.

[496] So the jazz singer, Al Jolson used to wear a black face.

[497] Yeah, and look at what he used to do with his lips.

[498] He used to make his lips cartoonishly exaggerated and he would sing.

[499] But he was like obviously a white man singing in blackface as a black man. It's really weird to watch and he would wear white gloves on.

[500] Is it wrong that I feel weird or watching this than reading about the guy that was getting shit and pissed on.

[501] Is it wrong that you came quicker than the guy getting his dick sucked by that guy?

[502] Man. That's crazy.

[503] Pretty sure that was the first movie with sound also.

[504] Whoa, the first movie with sound was racist as fuck.

[505] We've got to realize the first movie with sound was that probably 19...

[506] 27?

[507] 27?

[508] Okay, so that is, what is that, 60 years after slavery?

[509] That's after it was abolished, but it wasn't even really done when it was abolished, so yeah.

[510] When was it done?

[511] Arguably, it isn't with jails, but I mean, there were still.

[512] Oh, Jesus, Jimmy went deep.

[513] Wow.

[514] Well, yeah, we're still, they weren't all, but slaves weren't all media released.

[515] You got to cut them from slap.

[516] I'm just saying, but like slaves weren't all immediately released.

[517] And once the law passed, they didn't just say, you're.

[518] free.

[519] That's a good point.

[520] But what I meant was when it was a...

[521] I'm just like, I don't know the date you're looking for.

[522] It happened gradually over time, so...

[523] Yeah, because of Civil War, right?

[524] Civil War ended in 1875.

[525] Is that when it ended?

[526] It ended at 65?

[527] But the resolution to abolish slavery was passed...

[528] Anaccipation Proclamation.

[529] Is that what 65?

[530] 64, I don't know the exact day.

[531] Look it up.

[532] And then the Civil War ended just a couple years later, right?

[533] Space Proclamation, January 1st, 1863.

[534] 63 and then the war ended 1865 so that's not that long like 60 years later they're doing me me me you ever heard it uh -uh it's so weird let's say it's weird watching old movies period yeah they go like the 1920s and shit it's like it's so i i watched king con with my kids i had them watch the original king con wow and they're like are we going to be scared this was a few years back like when um one was six and one was four like we're nervous we're scared i go don't be scared you know it's not scary just trust me you're going to think it's funny they were laughing they thought it was so funny it looks so bad it looks so corny right we're just cuddled up on the couch watching king kong it looks so corny like the claymation like we're it's just weird that back then that was a horror movie like people would go to go to the movie like that was terrifying yes it was i'm gonna go get a sandwich my goodness i'm gonna go a coffee for a penny i saw the new halloween movie the other day how's that it was awesome really they actually did it they made a great movie great reboot it was really awesome if you've ever enjoyed any moment or know anything about michael meyers at all it's unbelievable wow really great it's like modern day they make Jamie Lee Curtis a badass like she's like she's her age it's bothered her her whole life every all anyone wants to talk with her about is that so she like lifting weights and shit she holds she holds herself up in this big she builds a compound with fences and everything in case he ever fucking comes back and she teaches herself how to shoot like it's like real awesome dude you'd fucking love it I couldn't believe it the rest of the night I was saying to my wife just just I can't believe how great that movie was and she loved it too so it's like all around wow what does rotten tomatoes say about it well those people are all crazy i don't listen to any but any of these people's opinions i went to uh a yelp review the other day because uh there's a restaurant that i really like that's near my house and i said i wonder how it gets reviewed on yelp and it was like all five stars except one one one star and it was like a crazy review where some woman was she was yelling she was complaining that tips that if you tip on a credit card that they don't get it until the end of the week and then it gets taxed.

[535] Is that how it always works?

[536] Or do you get it at night?

[537] They cash you out.

[538] Depends on the restaurant.

[539] It depends on the restaurant.

[540] But I felt like that was probably common that some restaurants will give you with your weekly check all of your tips for the week.

[541] It's not typical.

[542] Yeah, that would be if they're pooling perhaps all the tips of the week together and splitting it amongst everybody, which only a really, really, really good restaurant would do.

[543] Oh, that seems like it doesn't encourage performance, though, right?

[544] Well, at that level of restaurants, the performance is like a given.

[545] Like, they're probably splitting vast sums of money because it's a full -blown machine.

[546] Right, like a five -star.

[547] Exactly.

[548] Yeah.

[549] I worked at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse coming out of high school, and I learned pretty much, you know, everything there is to know.

[550] They make you memorize a stack of cards.

[551] You have to know everything and the whole thing is a well -oiled machine.

[552] I was a food runner which basically means that I had to make sure that everything going to the tables was perfectly set up like because there's no fixing it once it leaves the door, right?

[553] So you're basically the final approver of everything and the server's just waiting at the table or follows behind you.

[554] You sit the tray down and they do it and you get 10 % of all the server's tips on the floor.

[555] So sometimes some nights, if there's, you know, say more than 10 to 1 food runner or servers to food runners, you can make more than even a server at a Rout's Chris Steakhouse.

[556] But each restaurant does it differently and splits tips.

[557] Maybe they pool them that night.

[558] Pooling the tips actually usually means that the service is going to be unbelievable.

[559] Unless it's just a janky restaurant, then they probably just do it normally.

[560] Well, this restaurant's a very nice restaurant.

[561] So anyway, I looked at this lady's one -star review, like one -star at a five -star.

[562] stars and I always have a big smile on my face when I see a one star review because that means this bitch gonna have a lot of one star reviews if you go to her page yeah so I went to her page it was all one star reviews this fucking malcontent yeah this monster it was just going everywhere and complaining about everything for fucking nail salons to movie theaters like everything it's it's crazy I don't think trolls know that anybody is just one click away from knowing from them being completely exposed like it's the same thing you know on twitter or really anything right you see someone say something crazy you just click on their profile and it's all crazy all crazy all the time to everybody yeah they're complaining about everything after rosam was on um i got a bunch of people that tweeted at me with these wacky conspiracies like wacky mind control conspiracies And what it seemed to me to be not a professional, but if I had a guess, a wave of mentally ill people were contacting me. And I was reading this, I was like, Jesus Christ, how many these fucking people are out there that believe, like, the most nuttyest CIA -based mind control experiments and NSA, you know, tapping into everything in your home and listening to your conversations by listening to the vibrations off of your window panes?

[563] Like, here's what people don't know.

[564] Who's got time for that?

[565] Here's the thing.

[566] Do you really think there's enough people in the world to be paying attention to all the people in the world?

[567] Does that make any sense to you?

[568] It shouldn't.

[569] There's no way everybody's watching everybody.

[570] Right.

[571] There's not enough people.

[572] See?

[573] Like, if you do something, like, say Tony Hinchcliffe runs for president, oh, they're going to fucking watch you for sure.

[574] They're going to find out why is Tony Hinchcliffe friend for president?

[575] Who's backing him?

[576] Is it George Soros?

[577] Who's looking out for Tony Hinchcliff?

[578] You know, who's trying to, who's for, yeah, they'll check you out.

[579] But the average person is like, remember that Mel Gibson movie conspiracy theory?

[580] Remember that?

[581] He played a mentally ill person who fell in love with Julia Roberts.

[582] He was like a hot mentally ill person.

[583] And he just believed everything was a conspiracy theory.

[584] I watched it the other day, like out of nowhere.

[585] It was on TV.

[586] And I just only watched this for a little bit.

[587] And I was like, wow.

[588] fucking wackies this movie.

[589] People that have schizophrenia don't realize that they're schizophrenic.

[590] People with bipolar notice, they might be aware that they're having an episode.

[591] People OCD, their OCD, ADD, ADD, schizophrenia, it's game set match.

[592] You start hearing, the voices become a normal thing.

[593] Like, you think everybody can hear them, and you're not really acknowledging them because they become so natural.

[594] The schizophrenic person can be in a a psych ward and say to their doctor, why am I here?

[595] And that's a breakthrough.

[596] Yeah.

[597] Do you know Mark Marin heard voices in his head for over a year?

[598] Oh, my goodness.

[599] After partying with Kinnison.

[600] Wow.

[601] That's a hard Kinnison party.

[602] Yeah.

[603] We're pussies.

[604] Man. We really are.

[605] I was talking to Argus the other day at the back door.

[606] And it's just like, my God.

[607] I literally said the words.

[608] Like, I'm like, I wish I was, I wish I had started back when you started, man. Really?

[609] Because he was talking about, we ended up getting off on this whole, I don't know how we got there, but we started off on this whole tangent about, about just, you know, sobriety and stuff.

[610] And he's like, man, you know, back in my day.

[611] And he was, I can't remember the exact dialogue, but it was just, yeah, I mean, those guys were all, it was all just a blur.

[612] I learned something from Argus.

[613] You know, Argus runs, like, insane numbers of miles every day, like 12 miles, 15 miles a day.

[614] The addict in him, the guy that loved getting wasted, that's his high now.

[615] He talks about it all the time, his runner's high.

[616] It's real, dude.

[617] It's real.

[618] I know now, because of this month, this month, the sober October month, dude, I've worked out no less than at least two hours.

[619] That's a small workout.

[620] A small workout.

[621] Well, that's all I could get in was two hours.

[622] The longest I did, I did six hours one day.

[623] Good Lord.

[624] Six hours of insane cardio.

[625] That's like both kill bills, dude.

[626] I did seven hours of cardio in the last two days.

[627] Between yesterday and the day before, seven hours of hard cardio.

[628] Different stuff, running the hills with the dog, elliptical machine or the rowing machine.

[629] You know you're competing with fat people, right?

[630] No, I'm competing with myself.

[631] First of all, my main competition is Ari Shafir.

[632] And whether you realize it or not, Ari Shafir, even though he doesn't exercise, Ari has a strong mind He's a very strong mind Ari ran 15 miles the other day 15 miles he rode 5 kilometers And then after he rode 5 kilometers He did something else He rode his bike He wrote a bike for a certain amount of miles How long did it take him to run 15 miles?

[633] The whole thing his whole workout was I think four hours My goodness he's got that power Jew gene He's got that escape from concentration camp jeans Dude, you saw how fucking hard he was going on the rowing machine?

[634] He goes hard, dude.

[635] He stayed in 80 % on the rowing machine for an hour.

[636] I mean, he really did.

[637] I saw him.

[638] I was out there with him.

[639] I filmed it.

[640] I put it up on Instagram.

[641] That's that point.

[642] When Bert was making fun of him for being at 75 for just walking.

[643] Isn't that him being out of shape?

[644] It's not because when Bert and him went walking, he was in way better shape than Bert.

[645] See, Ari rides his bike in New York, and he walks a lot in New York.

[646] And even though he's not in great shape, like in terms of.

[647] of, like, a guy who runs in comparison to Bert.

[648] He's in fantastic shape.

[649] When they went hiking together, Bert had a stop.

[650] Like, a bunch of times, like, we're going to stop.

[651] We're going to stop.

[652] And Ari was pissed off.

[653] He's like, why do I have to stop?

[654] Because you're fat?

[655] Like, he's, like, yelling at him.

[656] Yeah.

[657] So, like, he wanted to see what would happen.

[658] If the two of them went out together and did the exact same hiking, who's, because Bert was saying, oh, it's because you're not in shape.

[659] So your heart is always at 80%.

[660] No. Ari, in a week, is in way better shape than Bert is.

[661] in his whole life of working out and drinking vodka every night.

[662] Compared to Bert.

[663] But compared to Bert.

[664] But my point is, he was my real competition.

[665] I was very, very much worried about him.

[666] So up until two days ago, everything seemed to be going good.

[667] I was working out really hard, and it was hard.

[668] It's hard to do three hours a day.

[669] It's three and a half hours a day.

[670] Two days in a row was three and a half hours a day.

[671] But I started peeing and it started coming out dark.

[672] Oh, no. No. Like iced tea.

[673] Oh, shit.

[674] This sounds like a guy at a porta potty's dream.

[675] Oh, give me that sweet tea.

[676] Oh, that's sweet tea.

[677] What does he say at the end?

[678] Oh, bless you, goddess.

[679] Oh, bless you goddess for your sweet tea.

[680] I was famished.

[681] Yeah.

[682] It didn't look good.

[683] Oof.

[684] And today I had to go to some thing in my kid's school.

[685] That's some Halloween thing.

[686] and I had to go up three flights of stairs, free long flights of stairs.

[687] I got to the top, first of all, I barely made it up to stairs.

[688] I got to the top, I was out of breath, and my legs were shaking.

[689] Whoa.

[690] Three flights of stairs.

[691] And I was like, okay, I might have fucked something up.

[692] Oh, man. That was today?

[693] That was today.

[694] Jeez.

[695] It was today.

[696] What does it mean?

[697] I think my body's breaking down.

[698] I think I've got like serious muscle breakdown.

[699] To the point, Like, my muscles are so sore that I'm ignoring that they're sore.

[700] And even though they're really, really sore, I'm still doing like three hours of cardio.

[701] Like, I limped up to the trail when I ran with my dog yesterday.

[702] And then I ran two miles.

[703] And then after I ran two miles, I did an hour and a half on the elliptical machine.

[704] And then after I did an hour and a half on the elliptical machine, I did 45 minutes of kicking the bag, punching and kicking the bag.

[705] I took two naps yesterday.

[706] Two separate naps.

[707] My point is, Argus taught me something by telling me about this high that you get from all this cardio.

[708] And I was like, what kind of fucking nonsense is that?

[709] I knew that there's like an endorphin high, but I didn't think it was really specific.

[710] But there's a very specific high that you get.

[711] And it's like if you could take a pill that puts you in the state of mind that I am when I work out this much, everybody would take it.

[712] And the world would be a better place.

[713] Because you don't give a fuck.

[714] Right.

[715] You don't give a fuck about anything.

[716] I mean, not they don't care about people and friends and loved ones, but there's no anxiety.

[717] There's no, all the chatter, all the negative chatter that you get in your brain that you have to like push off and ignore.

[718] That shuts off.

[719] It's gone.

[720] Non -existent.

[721] And I wonder how much of that is there because your brain is almost trying to create problems and conflict because you're not getting enough exercise.

[722] Yeah.

[723] Because your body is supposed to get a specific amount of exercise.

[724] My dog is, I think, like eight months old or something.

[725] something now and I've learned a lot from having this dog this time like I didn't notice a lot of stuff with the other dogs that I've raised in the past because in the past because with this one it's very clear and I mean they're all that way but if you don't work it out and you don't take it and exercise it she's crazy she can be a nut and she shows you by being weird not necessarily destroying stuff but you know just being weird little things by nibbling at your finger a different way with just your little front teeth like sort of like telling you something like hey dude i need to fucking get some exercise in and we're all that we're we are that same way so our brain is going to make more complex ways for us to be freaked out basically run for our lives right yeah like if i don't just i mean again i barely do cardio but i do do it pretty consistently but it's short it's like a mile or two that's all you need really yeah but and it And it cleanses the palate.

[726] It's like ginger between sushi slices.

[727] And if I go without it, absolutely it compiles.

[728] I'll wake up bitter and angry about something.

[729] I'll see something on, you know, somewhere or something or work -wise and stress out about it.

[730] And like, why, oh, this and that and stuff that doesn't make any sense at all.

[731] Right.

[732] Yeah.

[733] And if you were in a good state of mind, you'd be like, eh, who gives a fuck?

[734] Exactly.

[735] But instead, you dwell on it.

[736] Yeah.

[737] So your brain's like trying to come up with problems.

[738] Yeah.

[739] because it wants us to do something my dog marshall's like that hardcore because marshall's in shape because he runs miles with me all the time so that dog's ready to go and so it's like we're running right we're running today I'm like not not today dude I got to work what the fuck am I going to chew with myself right he'll just start chewing socks and you know doing things that he's not supposed to do you know he's just you know he's just a ball of energy but at least he doesn't have like anxiety and negative chatter the complex human mind when it doesn't have enough energy output.

[740] I always think of the brain.

[741] It's almost like a battery that has a lid on it.

[742] And there's like energy is like flowing out of the battery and spilling over the sides and causing a mess.

[743] Because you've got to expand or expend a certain amount of energy every day in order to keep it clean.

[744] Just keep everything going well.

[745] Yeah.

[746] Dude, I feel fucking great.

[747] Other than the fact that I can't walk good.

[748] Yeah.

[749] But it's just I went too hard.

[750] It's just too hard.

[751] But I wanted to get so far ahead.

[752] my goal was to get so far ahead that no one could catch up I was like if I could just they could do these big days every now and then I go but it's hard to do a big day and then do another big day and then I do another big day that's what's hard I'm like that's where I'll get them I'll get them in the like when you wake up you're like not today that's the day you got to go yeah that's like I wanted to put some distance between them so what I did was I did one day where I did six hours I did five hours in the morning morning and then I actually five and a half then I did another hour at night so it was basically six and a half hours and I got a thousand points for the day and they were like what the thousand thirty five actually good god I guarantee you that when Marin was hearing those voices during that kinnison time that he wasn't working out no he doesn't work out now I don't right it's easy for a comedian to not work out and then it when you factor that in that it's not a normal job and you can go from your bed to your car to the venue, to sit down at a table, to wait till you go on stage, then you do that, you stand up.

[753] I don't think that had anything to do with it.

[754] I think it was cocaine.

[755] They did so much cocaine.

[756] They were up for days.

[757] Yeah.

[758] That's what it was.

[759] He broke his brain.

[760] And physically not doing anything, right.

[761] That too.

[762] But, I mean, I think the big factor was the cocaine.

[763] Doing cocaine with Kinnison, I think he just popped a fuse.

[764] Can you imagine fucking up for days and days.

[765] And Kinnis is like, where's the blow?

[766] Where's the blow?

[767] Oh!

[768] And you're like, I'm only 22, man. I've got to get out of here.

[769] I have a future.

[770] I have a life.

[771] Oh, man. You know, do you know that he, Kinnison and Roseanne, have something really serious in common?

[772] They were both hit by cars when they were very young and their personality radically changed.

[773] Wow.

[774] Yeah.

[775] Yeah.

[776] And that was one of the things that I really wanted to cover with Roseanne when I had her on the podcast.

[777] Because all these people were calling her a racist and alt -right and this and that, all these different things.

[778] I'm like, listen.

[779] You don't understand this woman.

[780] First of all, one of the greatest stand -up comics of all time.

[781] Second, mentally ill and talks about it openly and is very honest about her troubles and what happened.

[782] She was committed to a mental institution for nine months after this car accident.

[783] I mean, she was hit in the fucking head by a car.

[784] The car was driving.

[785] The sunlight was in her face.

[786] She couldn't see.

[787] Clipped her in the intersection, sent her flying.

[788] She was in intensive care for a long fucking time.

[789] in a coma for a long fucking time came out of it was fucked up couldn't concentrate in school and then they committed her to a mental institution for nine months good let that is a long time yeah the hood ornament spiked her fucking head dude yeah so when people are talking about her like this is all something that she planned out because she's an evil person that's like saying to a person who has a broken leg why are you limping yeah it's really like that like one of the reasons why she was so brilliant as a comedian other than she worked hard and she writes and she just got a great mind for it one of the reasons was she truly was like incredibly impulsive and insane and this is what allowed her to say things that other people wouldn't say especially back then like people have to realize when rosand bar was huge and she was huge before I ever did comedy she was huge when she was huge there was no women like her no one she was fat she didn't give a fuck she would go on stage she would talk mad shit it would be hilarious she would kill she would kill dude I remember watching her kill like on HBO when I was like probably like 18 or something like that she's one of Mitzie's true like success stories right did you guys talk about that her being in on in the main room and then being on like carson weeks later she booked carson in one of her first about that the first time we might not have yeah it's hard to remember she's a comedy store like for comedy store fans and historians like she's like an anomaly because i'm pretty sure her first ever spot as a paid regular was in the main room which was a big deal at the time and from that spot she got the tonight show like a week or two later like she got booked from her first paid regular spot to the tonight show from the tonight show got a sitcom like was a huge overnight success so it all went like bang bang boom yeah one thing that she talked about the first time she did the podcast was that she lost her mind when all that was going on she's like oh i went crazy i lost my mind yeah the kind of pressure to go from being a housewife in denver until like a couple years later being one of the biggest stars in the world like that yeah There's no, yeah, that's, it takes, it takes, yeah, that would drive anybody crazy.

[790] The whole thing's crazy because also waiting for it's crazy and working towards it's crazy and the whole thing's crazy.

[791] So to get it all at once, that seems crazier than anything because then you're like, oh my God, I'm not ready for this.

[792] What am I going to do?

[793] At least most of the time in show business right, it takes 10, 15, 20, 25 years.

[794] Yeah.

[795] So you're usually like, I'm, I've been ready for this.

[796] or you do all those years and then you're an overnight success like Tiffany Hattish Tiffany Hattish did a bunch of years and then out of nowhere she becomes his giant success but she prepared by doing all those years for Roseanne Barr was like instantaneous you know the thing that bothered me most about all that stuff was how quickly everyone wanted to just cancel her get rid of her like stop her from working ever again I don't want to hear her side of it there's no room for explanation there's no room for discussion there's no room for just get rid of her out we went from wanting to see people become stars american idol america's got talent to watching people's dreams get destroyed that's the new obsession the new thing is we've seen people make it let's watch the dream get crushed you're already rich get out of here get out of here trump get out of here rosan get out of here conier it's like these people I mean, except for Trump, I mean, Trump's its own thing.

[797] But, like, trying to, like, destroy people that are artists, it's the weirdest thing.

[798] Well, it's people that are on the outside that are watching these people live these spectacular lives.

[799] And if something goes wrong, they're happy because then that person has to be a regular person again.

[800] Or even worse.

[801] They have to be a has -been, which people love.

[802] People love a has -been.

[803] Like, I remember one guy was shitting on Gary Coleman because, Gary Coleman was a security guard.

[804] I was having this conversation with him.

[805] He was, like, laughing that Gary Coleman from different strokes, that was a show, was a security guard.

[806] He's like, that fucking guy's a security guard now, man. And I was like, okay.

[807] But if you saw like a regular security guard, would you go, ha, that fucking guy's a security guard?

[808] You wouldn't do that, right?

[809] You'd go, oh, there's a security guard.

[810] Hey, what's up, man?

[811] Yeah, I'm going to building three.

[812] Here's my ID.

[813] He'd be normal, right?

[814] But because he was famous, being a security guard.

[815] card's a joke and he's a loser like there was it was joy and glee and this guy describing how gary coleman who is born like with a disease mean he's deformed he's this tiny person with a fucked up body his whole body's a mess I mean he's physically a mess his health is fucked up and this guy was taking joy out of the fact that he was a security guard now it's like wow this is there's a weird tendency that people have to like to watch people to that they think had it better than them, fall.

[816] Yeah, the guy that was bagging groceries from, whatcha McCallets.

[817] What was that going on?

[818] Oh, yeah, from the Cosby Show.

[819] Yeah, yeah.

[820] Yeah, apparently Tyler Perry gave that guy a job.

[821] Oh, shout out to Tyler Perry.

[822] Heck yeah.

[823] Yeah, he said it like the fact.

[824] Casted him as a grocery bagger in some movie.

[825] He gave him double the money.

[826] Yeah, no, he said, I love the fact that guy's hustling.

[827] He's out there working.

[828] There's no shame in working.

[829] The fact that people are so obsessed with that, that there's a shame in it.

[830] There's a shame in just having a job and working.

[831] It's very strange.

[832] It's very strange how people are attached to that, you know, that they immediately think that this is something to mock and make fun of.

[833] You know, I mean, it was almost universal.

[834] So many people were doing stories on that guy bagging groceries.

[835] Yeah.

[836] It's the age we live in, man. People want to see people break.

[837] anybody's doing anything there's a chance they're just waiting people are so mad look if if Megan Kelly if we didn't know what her contract was right if it was just some in fact let's say we did know and let's say she was getting paid barely what we would ever guess right let's say she's getting paid i don't know a hundred thousand dollars a year at her new job at nbc she'd probably still have the job right i mean it's the whole crazy part is that we all know she got paid 68 million dollars for three years for what right that's the whole take so it's like you know let's get you know what get her people people are watching like what did you just say about Halloween costumes that's it we got her we got her yeah did you ever hear it uh -uh play it megan kelly shit what do you guys have like a button no no which comment like the apology or the original no the apology was hilarious this woman uh said that one some woman from australia you said that it seems like a hostage video.

[838] The only thing that's missing is her holding up a newspaper with a date on it.

[839] I retweeted.

[840] I'm like, it's so does.

[841] And then somebody else said, well, if you, there's one of the, one of the things about it that's so strange is how insincere it seems.

[842] Like, forced.

[843] Oh.

[844] Oh.

[845] It's from a forced.

[846] It's her apology.

[847] Yeah.

[848] Oh, yeah.

[849] The apology seems forced.

[850] Yeah, no, I haven't seen that.

[851] But the, but forget the apology.

[852] Let's play the actual video.

[853] If I remember correctly, it's two comments.

[854] She makes one, and then they come back.

[855] Oh, really?

[856] It was like the second comment, I think, was the one that was the issue, yeah.

[857] What was the first comment?

[858] I don't remember.

[859] Oh, I only saw it.

[860] There was a controversy on the Real Housewives of New York with Luann, and she dresses Diana Ross, and she made her skin look darker than it really is, and people said that that was racist.

[861] And I don't know, I felt like, who doesn't love Diana Ross?

[862] She wants to look like Diana Ross for one day.

[863] I don't know how, like, that got racist on Halloween.

[864] I appear to be.

[865] See, that's the first one.

[866] is it but it's weird when you watch it now like you know this is her demise like you're watching the stumble when she trips off the rock and falls off the cliff this is the stumble like I don't get it how is that racist do you want to be Diana Ross then play it again like back when I was a kid that was okay as long as you were dressing up as like a character and that this is some guy's comment from Wall Street Journal.

[867] That was a rap.

[868] My favorite one of hers that she ever said...

[869] My favorite one of her is that she...

[870] We're good.

[871] My favorite one of her she ever said was they were doing this thing on Fox News about Santa Claus and someone had something about Santa Claus being black.

[872] They did something about Santa Claus being black.

[873] And she just went...

[874] Well, Santa Claus is definitely white.

[875] And she was like...

[876] I think she said it to kids.

[877] Like kids, Santa Claus is definitely.

[878] right.

[879] Or this kid, Santa Claus is real and he's definitely white.

[880] I forget what the exact terminology was.

[881] But she basically said Santa Claus is definitely white.

[882] Like Santa Claus isn't fucking real.

[883] Okay, it's like saying Spider -Man's definitely white.

[884] She didn't get fired from Fox for saying that.

[885] She probably got a raise for saying that, right?

[886] Yeah, they licked her toes.

[887] A whole different thing at Fox.

[888] Well, it was then.

[889] They don't want her now.

[890] Yeah.

[891] She wanted to go back.

[892] They're like, nah, we're good.

[893] Yeah, they wouldn't even take her back.

[894] The thing is, you can't go from being an ice princess in a conservative right wing channel to being like Oprah which she was trying to be like Oprah I don't I'll never really get what NBC was thinking there they were thinking chiching get that pipe they thought those people were just going to come over yeah that's exactly what they thought they thought she has a giant fan base but she had a fan base for sure some came over but she a lot of her fan base was because she was the beautiful conservative woman who was a very tough very articulate very smart you know and they like that she was an ice princess and she would shut people down if they're incorrect and she wouldn't let people talk over her she was powerful kind of frightening in a hot way yeah boo box news has a bunch of those chicks just waiting waiting in the helms you know what they're like they're like that closet ex machina when the dude opens it up and sees all these robots with different skin and faces and they have so many of them.

[895] Just teleprompters ready to roll big letters so they can read it clearly.

[896] We'll tell you what you like.

[897] Yeah.

[898] They're making a movie and these three are the anchors.

[899] Yeah.

[900] Fox News.

[901] Argo Robbie, Nicole Kidman and Charlie's thereon.

[902] Yeah.

[903] Wouldn't mind being on the other end of that port -a -potty.

[904] How dare you?

[905] See, you could get fired for that.

[906] Imagine if you were on a show and you said that, that would be the end.

[907] Like that.

[908] This is a beautiful thing about podcast.

[909] Nobody gives a fuck that you said that.

[910] It has zero consequences.

[911] But let's pretend that you were on the Tonight Show and you were a guest.

[912] And you're like, I like being in the end of that porta potty.

[913] People be like, oh, did he really?

[914] Did he really?

[915] That woman was just trying to go to the restroom.

[916] You think that's funny?

[917] It's crazy what's happening.

[918] It's crazy.

[919] I've noticed it a little bit in.

[920] stand -up lately there's been a couple of these road trips i did something that you told me not to do joe rogan you ready for this you told me not to do it years ago and i did it and it was rough and i performed stand -up comedy in connecticut was that right you were right dude i told you it's a place of despair yeah it's really crazy so one of the things that happened was is I noticed this really cool old guy stood out in the front middle of the audience, right?

[921] And I'm like, you seem like out of place and cool as hell and old as fuck.

[922] What's your story, dude, right?

[923] And I noticed that there's this angry older lady, almost like Dana Carvey's like church lady character sitting next to him.

[924] And I go, and who's this angry lady that you're sitting next to?

[925] She doesn't want to be here at all.

[926] And he goes, that's my wife.

[927] and they were the most different seeming couple you could ever imagine this happy smiling laughing at everything guy and just this I mean she was looking at me with hate not just not having fun she hated me it could have been something that I talked about early on maybe it was like a something about your Amy Schumer joke could have been that could have been my me too joke could have been my Trump misdirect joke that people you know what I mean anyway and but But I noticed next to them, there's this girl who seems even angrier than the mom.

[928] And they're the only two angry people in the room.

[929] And it's a gig at a casino in Connecticut.

[930] Give me a face.

[931] Just literally.

[932] Like literally, like a modern day, like, if someone said to a bad actress, like, play angry, play angry, angrier, angrier to a horrible actress.

[933] to just like that.

[934] And, and, and I go, and I go, what's the problem?

[935] And, you know, there's like, we're, I ignore it for like 45 minutes, right?

[936] And I'm going on and on, but the mom's angry.

[937] It turns out that the chick next to them is the daughter.

[938] And they're basically mad because of whatever, whatever material or whatever.

[939] And I end up towards the end of my set going off on the girl.

[940] I go, I go, I go, take the scowl off.

[941] your face.

[942] Like, what are you doing?

[943] Do you think that's going to affect me?

[944] Lady, I'm getting paid the same amount, whether you laugh or not.

[945] And I'm back to L .A., back to the dream tomorrow.

[946] You know what I mean?

[947] Like, at this point, I'm just, my fans are loving it.

[948] And they're the ones that stumbled into the wrong casino for the wrong show at the wrong time if they were looking for Christian puppet comedy or whatever.

[949] And I said to her, I go, you seem like, uh, I go, I go.

[950] I go, you seem like an internet troll that just stumbled in here.

[951] Like, you seem like you're going to write about this.

[952] You seem like the type of angry where you think you're going to change something or you're going to do something to my career.

[953] That's what I, that's the vibe I get from you.

[954] I literally made the jokes.

[955] The crowd's loving it, by the way.

[956] You know what I mean?

[957] Because they can tell, like, it's not punching.

[958] Is she saying anything to you or is she just staring at you?

[959] There was one part where I go, I go, because my goal, the thing that.

[960] The reason why I ignored them for a while was because I go, you seem like a tough lady to the mom, right?

[961] I go, you seem tough, but I'm going to break you at some point during this set.

[962] And when I do, I'm going to make sure this whole room knows.

[963] I'm going to say, I got you.

[964] And I'm not going to tell you when it's going to happen, but I'm going to make you laugh.

[965] Anyway, 45 minutes later, I get to the point to where I had, in my mind, set up that there's no way she's not going to laugh at this.

[966] And sure enough, I got a big smile out of her.

[967] right i'm not i won't say what the joke is i don't want to give anything away but i got the smile and i'm literally like and the whole crowd's already laughing and they can tell that i'm looking to watch to see if the lady breaks and she doesn't and i go how in the i thought i was going to get you i thought i was going to get you on that one how is it possible that you don't laugh at that like what do you do for fun lady like at this point i'm just right all amped up And I go, what would I have to do to possibly make you laugh?

[968] And that's finally when the angry daughter goes, be funny.

[969] I go, oh, no, I've been killing for 52 minutes now.

[970] You know what I mean?

[971] Like at this point, whatever.

[972] There's everybody else, the 99 .9 % of the other audience is the witness at this point.

[973] And they're against this chick, right?

[974] Because this chick's now just mad because whatever.

[975] And I go, you see.

[976] seem like the type of girl that thinks that you can even affect an artist you know what i mean this is this little millennial nerdy girl and sure enough sure enough i go on twitter later that night there's at at mohegan sun you should not be promoting this comedian barbber two days later my manager gets an email and he's like dude we got this uh email from uh some lady in connecticut says you were mean to her on stage.

[977] I'm like, she wrote you a letter.

[978] He's like, it's three paragraphs long.

[979] I'm like, what is happening?

[980] Like, I mean, what is happening in this world where someone's taking the time to write a letter to my manager of all people?

[981] Who, by the way, is laughing at the whole thing?

[982] Imagine if your manager dumped you for that?

[983] Enough.

[984] Right, one audience member in Connecticut.

[985] Yeah.

[986] We pulled the crowd.

[987] 99 % thought you were funny, but that's not good enough.

[988] We need 100%.

[989] But man, you were right, dude.

[990] And Connecticut is weird.

[991] It's a weird place.

[992] You could run into a person like that anywhere, right?

[993] I mean, I've run into people like that at the store.

[994] They sit in the front row with their arms crossed.

[995] You're going to run into people like that everywhere.

[996] But there's something about Connecticut where it's no real cities.

[997] You got Hartford, which is a land of despair.

[998] And you've got New Haven, which is worse.

[999] And it's just a highway between Boston and New York.

[1000] That's all it is.

[1001] Boston's great.

[1002] New York's great.

[1003] Connecticut's like, what the fuck are you doing here?

[1004] What's going on here?

[1005] It's become such a running joke that Lex Friedman, the scientist from MIT, who's on here the other day to talk about artificial intelligence, he brought it up as a joke.

[1006] What did he say?

[1007] Do you remember what he said?

[1008] Something about...

[1009] It's like he just wanted you to shit on it.

[1010] I don't remember exactly what he said.

[1011] Dude, I did so many gigs in Connecticut.

[1012] So many.

[1013] So many.

[1014] Because I lived in Boston, and it was like an hour and a half drive.

[1015] Two -hour drive.

[1016] You're in Connecticut.

[1017] We did a lot of gigs there.

[1018] Greg Fitzsimmons and I, we did a shit ton of gigs in Connecticut.

[1019] We'd always leave going, what the fuck?

[1020] What was that?

[1021] It was.

[1022] It felt dirty.

[1023] It's a gig I did purely for the money.

[1024] Some of them are good.

[1025] My good friend Tommy Jr. lives in Connecticut.

[1026] There's good people in Connecticut.

[1027] It's not all bad.

[1028] But it's disproportionately bad.

[1029] That's the problem.

[1030] It's not that everyone in Connecticut is full of despair.

[1031] No. I mean, there's a lot of people that live in, like, Hartford and not Hartford but what's that area outside of New York City where all the rich people live Greenwich that's where Vince McMahon lives super rich like estates yeah like David Letterman has a spot out there I mean like you got to drive like a mile to get to the property down their driveway the driveway the driveway is like a mile of like manicured lawns they have those great Gatsby type residences there hell yeah a lot of pills a lot of people piled up yeah look at these joints Just the average house is I guess Wow Look at these joints That's not real but it's being built Damn Those looks at the apartment building Dude I know but it's But let me see a house Let me see a house See that's a house That's a Connecticut house Dude there's insane amounts Of finance money Like that's great Gatsby type shit Did you ever read the Great Gatsby?

[1032] I watched the movie I was supposed to read the book As a student The DiCaprio movie is actually pretty fucking good Yeah, really good.

[1033] Great soundtrack, too.

[1034] Yeah.

[1035] And it was weird, too, because, like, they took artistic license with, like, the way the automobiles worked and moved, and there was, like, a lot of flair to it that made it exciting.

[1036] Beautiful movie.

[1037] One of those ones where you've got to turn out the lights, make sure your color on your TV's right and turn up the sound, yeah.

[1038] Yeah.

[1039] But that's that area.

[1040] That area of Connecticut is just unbelievably wealthy.

[1041] That area of Connecticut, and there's another area that's similar to that in Long Island.

[1042] like that's the hamptons the hamptons in long island is all just insane wealth just like matt lower has a house out there that's like 16 million dollars from all that today show money holla man he's doing it he's not what is he going to do you think that guy can make a comeback uh i think no i think no i think he's going to be like selling things any day now like how like larry king now like sells like things like on late night TV you ever see that what's he selling Larry King's like slinging like fake products and stuff Larry King saw the show so it's sort of a mixture of an advertisement Is this show on television or is it on the internet I think it's on the internet Sigurah was just on it Really?

[1043] Yeah I'm talking about the I know what you're talking about The TV that looks like a TV show But it's not a TV show It's really just a he's like asking questions like he used to do but it's just some guy like yes and another thing my prostate medicine can do oh right right right it's on the same set that's why i'm saying that i guess here's the set of his show it's on aura tv but like he shoots those commercials on that wooden background set oh okay so they just have a similar setup who's that girl in the upper right hand corner what is that what is that tricksy what what what in the hell am i watching fame drag queen what What?

[1044] What?

[1045] Go full screen, please.

[1046] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[1047] Look at her eyes.

[1048] That's insane.

[1049] Oh, shit.

[1050] Wait a minute.

[1051] What's going on there with the eyes?

[1052] I'm confused.

[1053] Lots of tense makeup.

[1054] But wait a minute.

[1055] I don't, where are our actual eyes?

[1056] Somewhere in there.

[1057] Whoa.

[1058] That's a drag queen?

[1059] Yeah.

[1060] It's got like she's like drew on extra lashes or something else.

[1061] Yeah, but she also drew white underneath the eyes.

[1062] There you go.

[1063] And then black on the, oh my God, that's insanity.

[1064] Those are the craziest eyes I've ever seen in my life.

[1065] Eyebrows going way up.

[1066] Yeah, well, the black triangles in the corners of the eyes, too.

[1067] That is the nuttiest makeup.

[1068] And look at the cheekbones, like how sculpted it is, where it's like has an abrupt line before the lower jaw.

[1069] It's like a spray painted with a box.

[1070] She's like an insane person.

[1071] That's crazy.

[1072] Larry King's just trying to play it cool.

[1073] He can't even tell.

[1074] He's so blind.

[1075] He doesn't even know what he's looking at.

[1076] You look great.

[1077] makeup's lovely so how long we've been a man I'm a woman I mean how long have you been a woman I've always been a woman oh yeah yeah I forgot he's born in the 1900s man he didn't know shit back then Larry King watched it all happen man dude Larry King went to the pokey the what the pokey the jail Larry King went to jail really?

[1078] Yeah there she is whoa look at that eye makeup man God, she looks like a Pink Floyd album cover How is that even real But she's got a signature look though I'll tell you that That's her look She wears all these pictures That triangle thing I'm scared to have her in here What does she look like without makeup?

[1079] Okay right there What does she look like?

[1080] What do you think she looks like?

[1081] Probably like me Probably better looking than you Maybe I don't know Look into the camera Tony Let me see Yeah maybe Picture me with cat eyes They're not cat eyes That was a cat.

[1082] I'd shoot it right in the fucking head.

[1083] That's an evil cat.

[1084] What did Larry King go to jail for?

[1085] Went to jail for something.

[1086] It's a crazy, like, it looked like he's all coked up in his mugshot photo.

[1087] He looks like a wild man. Grand larceny.

[1088] Oh.

[1089] Damn.

[1090] Yeah, look at him.

[1091] What is grand larceny?

[1092] It's like, uh, something bad.

[1093] Is that like money laundering?

[1094] Larry King was into some Ozark shit.

[1095] Come on.

[1096] Tell me he doesn't look.

[1097] Coked out of his mind.

[1098] Like him.

[1099] Fucking Miami.

[1100] These whores.

[1101] These whores, they had it coming.

[1102] Look at his sideburns.

[1103] He looks fucking amazing.

[1104] 1971.

[1105] Wow.

[1106] Baller.

[1107] Dude, I was four years old.

[1108] Larry King's getting arrested.

[1109] Damn.

[1110] Find out what he got arrested for.

[1111] What did he do?

[1112] Unable to pay back money he owns.

[1113] Oh, that's it?

[1114] Huh.

[1115] He owed a financier.

[1116] He was doing some work for where the judge throughout the larceny charge because the statute of limitation run out.

[1117] King pled no contest to one.

[1118] count of passing bad checks.

[1119] It's not that bad.

[1120] Dade County, Florida.

[1121] Look how cool that shirt is, by the way.

[1122] Like, they don't, they just don't make shirts like that.

[1123] Look, that's just white circles on a black -collared shirt.

[1124] You can get those from M -Undies.

[1125] You probably have shirts like that.

[1126] Could be blue.

[1127] Does M -Undies do shirts?

[1128] They do.

[1129] Yeah.

[1130] Damn.

[1131] Yeah, they have lounge pants now and brawlets.

[1132] What's the promo code I should use?

[1133] Brogan.

[1134] Meandies .com for it slash Rogan.

[1135] I love it.

[1136] Everybody was doing coke back then.

[1137] I got assumed Larry King was on Coke.

[1138] You've seen cocaine cowboys, right?

[1139] Yeah.

[1140] Fucking amazing.

[1141] Amazing.

[1142] Amazing document.

[1143] One and two.

[1144] Amazing.

[1145] When you just realize what, because you could be, especially if you're living in Ohio like you were or out here in Los Angeles, you might not know the history of cocaine in Miami.

[1146] You might not know how fucking.

[1147] fucking insane it was until you watch that documentary and you just go what yeah or narcos or really you know narcos is good but it's a lot of it is about another country yeah like cocaine cowboys is almost all about america yeah there's one one part of cocaine cowboys that i'll never forget where they said that the entire graduating class of the police academy was either murdered or went to jail.

[1148] Gee.

[1149] They were all corrupt.

[1150] Everybody was doing Coke.

[1151] There was more banks per capita in Miami, at least at the time, than anywhere else in the country, and it was all money laundering.

[1152] That's all it was.

[1153] Fucking hell.

[1154] My friend Steve Graham was going to school in Miami back then.

[1155] He was doing his residency in Miami.

[1156] He's an ophthalmologist, and he was there during the cocaine violence years.

[1157] So he was doing his residency you do emergency room work so he was there people bullet holes and fucking brains exploded he said it was crazy the amount of violence that you would say just every night people with bullet holes and gunshot wounds and knife wounds and fucking attack with barbed wire and chaos and a lot of people with things up their ass really oh yeah all kinds of things light bulbs you know those twisty light bulbs yeah they look like a pine cone yeah up the ass can't it out why would uh why wouldn't they why light bulbs warm loob it up shove it in there start beating off can't get it out oh no better get to the doctor how do you will drive slow i'll put my ass out the window i mean i don't know but he told me that that was one of the things they pulled out of guy's ass a light bulb one of them twisty light bulbs that's other things too like G .I. Joe dolls, shit like that.

[1158] That's what happens when you have a bad idea.

[1159] A light bulb appears in your ass.

[1160] Instead of over your head.

[1161] That's hilarious.

[1162] That would be actually a really fun.

[1163] A really fun thing in a movie.

[1164] You know?

[1165] Like a cartoon.

[1166] Boom.

[1167] I got a great idea.

[1168] I got a shitty idea.

[1169] Oh my god Yeah thank God we're not doctors Yeah seriously You know how morose you would get Every day you're dealing with people dying They just get too comfortable with it And you have to save them no matter what I was reading last night about the About the Jewish doctor Who had the shooter Of the temple in Pittsburgh He had to save his life he had to like make sure that he's okay you know what i mean sometimes you're just helping horrible human beings that just slaughtered some of your own people now you're a jewish doctor having to fix the guy now and our world tarantino world we like to think that oh oh so sorry to accidentally oh it appears as though i haven't given you the right medicine you know what i mean but in real life they have to just stitch them up and you know well it also means that guy probably has a record in terms of like his success ratio he doesn't want to fuck it up for some asshole right oh yeah it seems like being a doctor it would be very very hard like as a mentally it seems like racking up those losses and such a lack of control the human body EMT workers too same kind of deal a buddy of mine told me never date a female EMT worker I go why and he goes they're crazy he goes they've seen so much violence they just fuck everyone i go what and he goes yeah this is a bunch of female EMT workers that they work with they're just bang everybody obviously it's not every EMT female worker he's just my asshole friend yeah telling me this based on his very limited polling but my thought on it is do you imagine how fleeting you would feel that life is if every day you're seeing people die every day you're dealing with car accidents you're showing up people's brains are splattered all over the highway their legs are ripped off they've been run over by trucks every day all day long and this is what he he said he goes he goes first of all no one's supposed to see that much death he goes if you see that much death it rewires the way your brain works he goes you're supposed to see that you're supposed to see that very rarely very rarely in life but you see it every day it's like something goes wrong and he goes it's been my experience that some of these women where that goes wrong they just they're just wild they just fuck everybody god i go how what do you think they're doing that he's like they're distracting themselves trying to distract themselves from the violence again this is one asshole friend if you're listening to it's like fuck tony inchcliff and joe rogan i can't believe you brought that up i'm an EMT worker i'm a mom i'm a great person i'm sure you are ma 'am i'm talking about you but you used to fuck like an animal and you know it that's how those babies were made Wow.

[1170] How dare you?

[1171] That seems to make sense to me that female EMTs would be pretty horned up.

[1172] Cops, too.

[1173] Oh, for sure, cops.

[1174] Yeah.

[1175] Yeah.

[1176] I watched a porno the other day.

[1177] Two female cops getting banged by the black guy.

[1178] They were supposed to arrest.

[1179] Oh, of course, that happens.

[1180] It must happen.

[1181] It happens with guards in jail.

[1182] Female guards?

[1183] Remember those guys that escaped?

[1184] One of them was banging the guard in upstate New York.

[1185] They flew to Canada, they fleed to Canada.

[1186] Wow.

[1187] Some fugly looking female guard.

[1188] The dude was throwing dick her way.

[1189] The guard left with the prisoner?

[1190] Uh -huh.

[1191] Whoa.

[1192] Didn't she bring him the stuff to help him break out, right?

[1193] Yeah.

[1194] And then she turned herself in.

[1195] Yeah, yeah.

[1196] She couldn't handle it anymore when the fucking, the alarms are going off and the manhunt was underway.

[1197] Like, how did he get out?

[1198] She's like, I fucked him.

[1199] Wow.

[1200] Imagine that.

[1201] You're a prisoner.

[1202] There it is.

[1203] Look at her.

[1204] I can't help it Joyce Mitchell denied parole After helping killer inmates Escape New York prison Going to jail herself That's the look of a lady That messed up after getting good dick There was a guy I used to spar with Who was a security guard at jail And that was fucking with his head too He was just telling me About what the experience was like Like every day You're just always dealing with these fucking people that They're never getting out of there Like he was in a maximum security penitentiary.

[1205] It's like they're never getting out of there.

[1206] Every day you're just dealing with horrible people in terrible circumstances, and they know that you get to leave.

[1207] They know you get to leave.

[1208] But you're living with them most of the day.

[1209] He goes, yeah, I'm not a prisoner.

[1210] He goes, but my environment is surrounded by these people.

[1211] He's like, that affects you.

[1212] It's like, I never thought about it that way.

[1213] I just thought the guards have it okay.

[1214] It's just a job.

[1215] whereas the inmates, you know, well, those poor bastards are stuck in there.

[1216] Well, you're in there with them for eight hours a day.

[1217] Most of the time, you're not controlling them.

[1218] Most of the time, you're just coexisting.

[1219] Yeah, who's behind the bars, which way is behind, right?

[1220] Right, right.

[1221] They're in a cell with a hallway filled with bars, people, one person on the other side of each bar.

[1222] So are they.

[1223] Yeah.

[1224] Same exact thing.

[1225] Yeah.

[1226] And then they're wearing body armor and fucking, they have clubs, and they're always terrified that a riot's going to break out.

[1227] You saw Whitey Bulger got killed?

[1228] He did?

[1229] Yesterday in prison.

[1230] It transferred him in like first day.

[1231] First day.

[1232] A guy that hates rats killed him.

[1233] An Italian guy or like a gangster guy.

[1234] Really?

[1235] Yep.

[1236] The guy I read the guy is obsessed with hating rats and hating people that beat women.

[1237] And I guess Whitey killed women.

[1238] Wow.

[1239] So this guy, the first chance he got.

[1240] Whitey Baldi.

[1241] are met a violent end after a lifetime of brutality.

[1242] They tried to pull his eyes out of his skull.

[1243] Whoa.

[1244] I don't know if they were successful or not.

[1245] The thing I read didn't make it clear.

[1246] Hold on, make that larger so I could read that?

[1247] What does it say in a three -foot grave near a river, not far from Boston?

[1248] Pat McGonigle's body laid decaying, undisturbed, until his remains were found 20 years later.

[1249] Part of his pelvic bone, a fractured skull and a decomposed brain matter.

[1250] Oh, okay, this is...

[1251] all the different things that he's done yeah he was a horrible fucking killer West Virginia day after he transferred you know I used to train a guy that was one of his fucking mob henchman guy said to me once he goes if you were going to kill somebody how would you kill him I was like with my bare hands he goes yeah I go I probably hit him in the neck I was like yeah wow I was like okay that was the end see it's not scary until you find out that's the end of the conversation i was um i was 19 at the time and i was teaching taekwendo wow and i was teaching this guy who um he was friends with a friend of mine who absolutely worked for whitey bulger who wound up going to jail and they told me that this guy used to whack people i was like oh jesus christ and i was teaching him taekwendo he was very serious like he's very intense and I was very aware that there was something different about him like I was very aware like he wasn't just a guy that was learning for exercise or self -defense want to take a little classes learning a little martial arts he was going to use it like he was a guy that was in case he needed to use it you know what I'm saying like there's there's a mindset of someone who just wants to get better at a martial art and there's a mindset of someone who's thinking about okay it's going to come down I'm gonna fucking get him right dear okay and I'm gonna get him right dear that guy was like when he would practice there was a there was a certain amount of focus and intensity that he had that was palpable yeah mobsters need to get better at at that type of stuff you ever see remember De Niro's kicks and good fellas those just sloppy that's straight down just you mutt what's this why do you bolder's fate of suspect that did it yeah he was unrecognizable that's the guy who did it quote of a I am.

[1252] Mr. Bulger's eyes appeared to have been dislodged from his head, although it was unclear whether his attacker has gouged him out or they were knocked out because he was beaten so severely in the attack.

[1253] This information was relayed by a senior law enforcement official who oversees organized crime cases.

[1254] Oh, that's what it was.

[1255] It was a padlock stuffed inside a sock.

[1256] Oh, that's what they beat him with?

[1257] Yep.

[1258] And they also pulled his eyes out of his head.

[1259] At least in part with a padlock.

[1260] that was stuffed inside of a sock.

[1261] At least two inmates were quickly sent to solitary confinement after Mr. Bulger was found, according to three employees of the Federal Bureau of Prisons.

[1262] Wow.

[1263] Damn.

[1264] Yeah.

[1265] Well, couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

[1266] Whitey Bulger.

[1267] Do you know he won the lottery twice?

[1268] Really?

[1269] Yep.

[1270] Damn.

[1271] Not really.

[1272] Yeah.

[1273] Scam.

[1274] I mean, that was how he would show his income.

[1275] so someone else would win the lottery and they would come to him and he would like give them the money and they would give him the lottery ticket and he'd be like look I won the lottery that's how I'm rich yeah yeah it's dark like they probably would find the person who won the lottery you know they chase Dana White out of town do you know that no yeah yeah they wanted money they wanted payment from Dana White and Dana White got beaten up by them so severely that he had like tinnitus in his east years.

[1276] Yeah.

[1277] He had a fucking, he had a jet out of town.

[1278] He moved to Vegas.

[1279] Wow.

[1280] Yeah.

[1281] Because they wanted a cut of the UFC.

[1282] No, it wasn't the UFC.

[1283] It was no UFC back then.

[1284] He was like a boxing trainer.

[1285] Oh.

[1286] I forget what he was doing, whether he's running a gym, but he had to leave town because of the mob.

[1287] That's why he left Boston.

[1288] Yeah, it was real, man. I mean, this was all when I was a kid, I mean, I got seriously into taekwondo in 1982 that's when it became uh my like 81 82 that's when it really became like my whole life and that's right around the time where all that shit was going on and then when in 1988 i became friends with a comedian who was his brother went to jail for being a part of whitey bulger's mob yeah crazy yeah it was like everybody knew somebody who was in some way connected to the mob in some way you know i just one dude you want to hear a crazy story who it's one guy he's dead now i could talk about him his name is richie and he went to jail um while i knew him he was arrested for a murder that i don't think they ever got him on but this person who was killed wasn't just killed they broke every bone in his body with a hammer and kept injecting him with cocaine to keep him awake.

[1289] Yeah.

[1290] So he would black out from the pain, and they would inject him with cocaine to wake him back up again.

[1291] And then they would break another bone.

[1292] They were breaking all of his bones with a hammer.

[1293] They cut his hands off, cut his head off, they cut everything off.

[1294] Then when they found, you know, this broken heap of a body, he was somehow connected to this guy that I knew who sold Coke.

[1295] and this guy had gone to jail, and I knew him before he went to jail.

[1296] He was another guy from Taekwondo.

[1297] I knew him before he went to jail.

[1298] He was one person.

[1299] He was a young guy.

[1300] I was, I think when he went to jail, I was 16, and I think he was 20.

[1301] And then when he got out of jail, it was, I was 20, and he was 24, and he had scars all over his body, where he tried to, like, sand off his.

[1302] his tattoos.

[1303] He had tattoos all over his arms.

[1304] And I don't know what the tattoos were, whether they were a racist or whether he just didn't want him anymore.

[1305] But he had like either acid burns or scars.

[1306] Like whatever, how were the fuck he tried to get the tattoos off all over his arms?

[1307] Like his arms are covered in scars.

[1308] And he wasn't good.

[1309] He wasn't like a talented martial artist.

[1310] But he was insanely tough.

[1311] Like insanely aggressive and insanely.

[1312] me tough and when you sparred him you are fighting for your life for your life he would come at me and try to fucking kill me i mean fucking kill you throwing looping punches with every fucking ounce of his being and i'm moving around and i'm like oh we're fighting to the death here we're fighting this is not this is not sparring we only sparred a couple of times before this but one time he had me cornered he he trapped me in a corner and hit me with all fucking bomb on the top of my head just boom like as hard as he could punch he was a strong guy he was quite a bit bigger than me too irish guy i think he was italian um and uh i kicked him in the head so hard it broke his cheek like his cheek shifted over oh his his face i wheel kicked him so i hit him with my heel in his face and he dropped down he he collapsed went down to his like like went down like face first got up on his all fours got back up again wanted to keep going oh i said i go richie i go you got to look in the mirror i go come look in the mirror and he's like oh fuck i go yeah you can't spar anymore dude he wanted to kill me he wanted to keep going he wanted to keep going after i basically kicked his face in half jesus i hit him so hard it wasn't a sparring session it was an i'm trying to kill you you're trying to kill me session and i remember setting him up, setting him up, setting him up, boom!

[1313] And I hit him with that thing, and he face planted.

[1314] Most people would have just went out, but he was so angry and so mean.

[1315] He was trying to get up.

[1316] It's fucking scary.

[1317] But that was, I was the last time I sparred with him.

[1318] I'm like, we're not sparring anymore, dude.

[1319] I'm not fighting the death with some guy who I'm kind of friendly with.

[1320] I was friendly with him other than that.

[1321] Like, you would never guess.

[1322] I remember one time we went out, it was me and him and these two girls, and they were like real weird, right?

[1323] And, you know, this one girl was like, you know, like, Richie, when are we going to get that stuff?

[1324] I go, what stuff you're going to get?

[1325] And he's like, and she's like, he's going to get us some coke.

[1326] I go, you don't want any coke.

[1327] She goes, fuck you.

[1328] I was trying to tell her she doesn't want coke.

[1329] She's like, that's why I'm here.

[1330] That's why I'm hanging out with this guy, stupid.

[1331] That's so funny.

[1332] Yeah, it was one of the rare times I hung out with him outside of the gym.

[1333] He told me a story about how he had a fight off these.

[1334] guys with a broomstick in jail and how he's beating these guys to death with a broomstick.

[1335] There's a horrible story about him being forced to mop up something in a bathroom and these guys cornered him and he's just fucking attacking them with this broomstick and about how he got extra time for that.

[1336] I forget what he went to jail for.

[1337] I assume it's probably drug -related.

[1338] I don't remember what it was, but I remember just being so nervous about being connected to people like that, like knowing people like that from the gym.

[1339] Because there was people like that, they were always, they always wanted to learn how to fight.

[1340] So, because you knew, you know, you're teaching martial arts, you're training, there's always those guys would always come in.

[1341] Whenever it was kind of spar, oh, scary times.

[1342] There was no pulling back.

[1343] There was no, like, if you were sparring with some friends, like I was sparring with, like, my friend Leroy Rodriguez, a good friend of mine, who was fast as lightning, this Puerto Rican guy, was a bad motherfucker.

[1344] But he would not hurt me. We would spar.

[1345] We would go hard, but he would hold back from hurting you.

[1346] You know, like you could trust certain people.

[1347] Well, you were sparring.

[1348] You knew it was just sparring.

[1349] There was other people.

[1350] It was to the death.

[1351] Terrible.

[1352] Crazy.

[1353] Not only that, we did it over a fucking thin office carpet on top of concrete.

[1354] It was just office carpet on top of concrete.

[1355] So when people would fall.

[1356] Oh, God.

[1357] would bounce off the concrete.

[1358] Oh, fuck that.

[1359] Yeah.

[1360] It was horrible.

[1361] Good Lord.

[1362] That's the 80s, bro.

[1363] She was different.

[1364] No good, man. So terrible.

[1365] So terrible back then, man. People couldn't get concussions back then or something?

[1366] Oh, they got them.

[1367] Yeah.

[1368] They got a lot of them.

[1369] Yeah, I remember people getting them when they were just fucked up for months and months at a time.

[1370] You get that kind of a concussion.

[1371] you bounce your head off the ground and then, you know, just the impact of something like that is just so devastating, man. That's just so bad for you.

[1372] There's a great video, not great, but kind of crazy.

[1373] If you go to Saxon Muay on Instagram, there's a video of these two guys fighting in the parking lot and one guy is obviously a trained fighter and he's fighting these gangbangers and he leg kicks one of them and then punches him in the face and this other guy's going oh you think you're going to kick homeboy you think you're going to kick home boy and he goes come on kick me motherfucker and he takes a puff of his cigarette and he takes his shirt off like he's going to fight he has no idea how to fight and he's decided he's going to fight this guy who knows how to fight and this guy leg kicks him drops him to the ground he gets up the guy shoots a double, lifts his legs up in the air, and drops him on his head, and he just goes out.

[1374] Yeah.

[1375] It's so, it's watching, there's something about watching someone's head bounce off concrete that is so fucking disturbing.

[1376] For sure.

[1377] It's just, it's sadder than anything else.

[1378] Saxon, Muay.

[1379] Get some on.

[1380] You didn't see it?

[1381] Maybe somebody pulled it.

[1382] Let me see it.

[1383] I once had a concussion in a, you see the page.

[1384] Let me go, Scroll down a little bit.

[1385] Hold on.

[1386] We'll go to the top again?

[1387] Yep, that's it.

[1388] Scroll down a little bit.

[1389] Yeah, somebody must have pulled it.

[1390] I got a concussion in a wrestling match one time.

[1391] Maybe I'm wrong.

[1392] Maybe it wasn't sex on.

[1393] And I threw up Rice Krispy Treats everywhere.

[1394] I was out.

[1395] I was unconscious and I was throwing up Rice Krispy Treats because I loaded up on those after weigh -ins.

[1396] The weigh -ins were like an hour before the match.

[1397] I had a peanut butter and jelly.

[1398] and like the back then they had just debuted it was like a new thing the pre -made super processed rice crispy treats like that would just come in individual packages and after cutting you know my weight cuts were horrible horrible horrible and uh so like i would just be eyeballing all this food all week you know what i mean and like i remember i'd be so excited whatever you had what you'd be so excited for and i was way too excited about this whole box of rice crispy and treats that I had and I probably had like four or five right before the match and just boom out like a light some dude got my head yeah some dude got my head wrapped up in his legs like it was um it was like a like almost like a double chicken wing like he had he was I my chest was on the mat I think he got me in double chicken wings and started to walk around my head so that he hit your so that I rolled over and then and but I was really I'm really bridgy and agile and have a long neck that I can bridge up on.

[1399] So when I bridged up on my neck and he's just now, there's nothing he can do, he took his leg and swooped it and figure four in my head.

[1400] So now I'm in a figure four with my head and double chicken wings.

[1401] But then once he did that, I bridged up again.

[1402] The crowd, I remember sort of being like, ooh, you know what I mean?

[1403] Like it's like, you're not pinning me. And then he did this thing where he just bucked back like a bull in my head just right into the mat, out like a light.

[1404] I was taken off on a stretcher to the hospital, that wrestling match.

[1405] It's the only time that ever happened.

[1406] How quick after that did you go back to wrestling?

[1407] Oh, probably, probably a week or two.

[1408] Yeah, isn't that funny?

[1409] Our assistant coach's son had just died.

[1410] So, like, that night was, like, dedicated to him because he showed up.

[1411] We weren't expecting him to be there.

[1412] How did his son die?

[1413] It was like leukemia or something like that.

[1414] And we weren't expecting him to be there.

[1415] And, like, our head coach gave us one of those.

[1416] pep talks like coach burton's coming tonight and if he's coming after his son dies then you motherfuckers better not give up like it was one of those like super crazy like beyond all of our human potential which is probably why i ended up in that position in the first place because i'm just bridging for everything including my assistant coach's son's spirit and all of this you know what i mean better not give up right oh this is it this is the video someone sent to me on oh here it is it's on world stop boom watch this he gets him with the leg kick The guy gets up.

[1417] Now watch this.

[1418] Watch this.

[1419] Boom, strong leg kick.

[1420] Perfectly timed.

[1421] Watch this.

[1422] Watch this.

[1423] Out.

[1424] Go from the beginning, though.

[1425] In the beginning, you see...

[1426] It's long.

[1427] It's two minutes long.

[1428] Yeah, but the beginning you see how the fight starts.

[1429] So this guy, the guys are, come on, motherfucker, you want some of this?

[1430] He's got a shirt off.

[1431] And the guy's like trying...

[1432] He's by himself.

[1433] And he's like, do one -on -one, one -on -one, one -on -one.

[1434] He fought another dude first.

[1435] Did he?

[1436] Yeah.

[1437] Yeah, this guy.

[1438] This guy, this is the guy who legs kicks.

[1439] And after he leg kicks this dude, the other guy says, come on.

[1440] That dude doesn't have a wife beater on.

[1441] Give me some volume on this.

[1442] That's what's going to get taken down?

[1443] Is he going to get taken down from YouTube?

[1444] Oh, okay, okay.

[1445] You turn it down.

[1446] So the guy's like, come on, man. So it's just one dude by himself with a bunch of other dudes, but he steps in.

[1447] This guy knows how to fight.

[1448] Look at this.

[1449] Throwing a jab.

[1450] And then watch this.

[1451] leg kick oh so they're going out for quite a bit first whole different guy no no no yeah but that's it right there leg kick boom then he cracks him and so then the guy's like realizing he's in trouble and so he starts backing away and the guy's coming forward he's like come on bitch and so then the other guy afterwards goes oh you think you're gonna leg kick gonna leg kick so he comes back he's like tired of this dude walking away from him and he's like i fuck this dude up with one punch and he wants it back up and so this guy goes you want a leg kick You want a leg kick?

[1452] Here it, right here.

[1453] You want a fight, dog, it's cool.

[1454] You don't want the fucking kick, it's all right, nobody.

[1455] You want a kick on board?

[1456] You want a kick on board?

[1457] Watch, he takes a puff of his cigarette.

[1458] Watch this.

[1459] He's like, I'm going to try you.

[1460] He takes a drag of his cigarette at first, and then takes his shirt off.

[1461] Guy has no idea how to fight, which is hilarious.

[1462] Fat, not in shape.

[1463] Boom, leg kick.

[1464] But people are so ridiculous with this idea that they think they know how to fight.

[1465] Yeah.

[1466] Out cold.

[1467] But that's dark, man. The banging the head, the back of the head off the concrete is dark.

[1468] Yeah, that's memory.

[1469] He's gone.

[1470] That's a lot gone.

[1471] A lot gone with your head.

[1472] That's why I used to always get mad at those movies where people get pistol whipped.

[1473] And nothing would happen to wake up like, oh.

[1474] Like, somebody who liked you would pistol whip you because they needed to shut your mouth.

[1475] Like you can fucking die.

[1476] or like they're trying to get information out of them like where's the money hidden it's like well now i don't remember and then when they would wake up they'd have no problems they'd just be fighting no problems no coordination issues meanwhile your equilibrium would be so fucked your legs wouldn't work right have you ever been knocked out like other than that not really no i've been in a lot of fights but i've never been knocked out only that wrestling match uh did when you find out how vulnerable you are like the human brain the way it's positioned in the head and all it has to do is get hit and yanked around i have a pretty deep i think i have a pro i think i have what they would call a good chin you think so i've taken some fucking i've taken some real pun at least when when i mean i was younger it's been a long time actually i took a good fucking solid headbutt about 10 years ago from my from one of my drunk comedian buddies Oh, God.

[1477] Yeah.

[1478] There's a great video of this girl, head button, this guy unconscious, outside of a bar.

[1479] You probably won't be able to find it.

[1480] But some guys fucking with her, and she's not big.

[1481] She's pretty small.

[1482] And she grabs this guy by the collar and just bang!

[1483] And the dude just crumbles and drops to the ground.

[1484] It's fucking awesome.

[1485] It's a real move, man. This part right here, hell yeah.

[1486] This is where people break their hands.

[1487] They break their hands on the top of the forehead all the time.

[1488] It's a super hard spot.

[1489] And if you smash someone on the jaw with that or on the, that's one move that a chick actually can pull off.

[1490] If she really knows how to do it, grab someone's shirt, and bang!

[1491] Yeah.

[1492] Hell yeah.

[1493] I've head -budded people.

[1494] Have you?

[1495] Yeah.

[1496] I've never head -butted anybody in my whole life.

[1497] Yeah.

[1498] Oh, I've been, I've had to because, you know, I mean, where I grew up, it was just fights, fights, fights, that was just the whole thing.

[1499] Youngstown, Ohio.

[1500] You're damn right.

[1501] Everybody was a boxer.

[1502] That's why all the boxers.

[1503] Were you with me when Kelly Pavlick showed them?

[1504] That was awesome.

[1505] Right, we all went out to dinner.

[1506] Yep, Matt Brown, too.

[1507] Bunch of Ohioans.

[1508] How cool is hanging out with Kelly Pavlick?

[1509] Dude, for someone from Youngstown, that's as cool as it gets.

[1510] I've hung out with boom, boom.

[1511] I had to knock out Kelly for the trifecta, and that was amazing.

[1512] We had a spread the size of this table.

[1513] That wasn't just any meal.

[1514] That was everything.

[1515] It's like, what do you want?

[1516] Because everything's on the table right now.

[1517] Yeah, we ate a lot of good food.

[1518] That was fun.

[1519] That was after the Schottenstein, right?

[1520] Wow.

[1521] Schatenstein?

[1522] That is crazy.

[1523] Said it right?

[1524] Shottenstein.

[1525] That was fun, man. That was a fun show.

[1526] Oh, yeah.

[1527] Only show I've ever worn a football jersey on stage.

[1528] That was so cool.

[1529] I fucking love Ohio.

[1530] I love Columbus.

[1531] Columbus is the anti -Kineticate.

[1532] Absolutely.

[1533] 100%.

[1534] It's fun there, man. The opposite of Connecticut.

[1535] I mean, people from Connecticut are like, what would I move to Columbus?

[1536] Just trust me. Like, if I would have done that same show that I did in Connecticut and Columbus and there was an angry, a lady that looked that angry in the audience, one face looking at me, and I said, what are you so angry about?

[1537] She would answer the question.

[1538] Yeah, yeah.

[1539] She would tell you.

[1540] Yeah, you shouldn't have said that about the me too.

[1541] And then at least I'd be able to really, we'd go back and forth and I'd win her over, but in Connecticut they just stay staunch.

[1542] Oh, that's young Jamie's photograph.

[1543] Yeah.

[1544] Young Jamie, photographer extraordinaire.

[1545] Number 18 for the Ohio State Buckeyes.

[1546] Ooh, wee.

[1547] So what's going on with young Tony Hinchcliffe's career?

[1548] What's the latest?

[1549] I know you've been killing it with Kill Tony.

[1550] Kill Tony's on a whole other level.

[1551] I've heard.

[1552] We're having a lot of fun.

[1553] It's a blast.

[1554] We're taking them all over the road.

[1555] The road shows are insane.

[1556] I heard of Toronto was insane.

[1557] Absolutely insane.

[1558] Absolutely insane.

[1559] We just did two shows in one night in San Francisco.

[1560] Kill Tony Mania.

[1561] Where'd you guys go?

[1562] Chaos.

[1563] Cobbs.

[1564] Two shows in one night on a Friday night insanity.

[1565] The shows at home are crazy.

[1566] We have Whitney Cummings on Monday.

[1567] We have this new cool thing called the Apollo 13, which is this group of black people that come every Monday.

[1568] And like really, basically, like, if any open micer ever does, like, too racist of a joke or if it's on the line or whatever, they're like the judges, like, I'll, like, point to them.

[1569] And it's like, uh, it's so funny.

[1570] We call them the Apollo 13 because I said that they're like, yeah, it's like they even have shirts made.

[1571] That's three of the members right.

[1572] there but it's like how you're always adding new elements and always mixing it up like it is one of the best live podcast formats ever because it's so crazy it's so chaotic and you're guaranteed to either get good comedy or terrible comedy which equals great comedy yeah just to show you a span this past monday we started the show off with a former reality star that uh that was horrible right he wasn't funny he's been doing it 14 years but he doesn't put any work into it no work ethic you know what i mean so it's like we roasted him and the crowd loves it because he's such an easily hateable guy and the last guy we pull out of the bucket comes out of the audience area with a with wearing shorts and one of his legs is uh is amputated he has a he has like a prosthetic yeah prosthetic leg and he talks about how he nearly died six months ago in a motorcycle accident and he's a huge kill tony fan and this is his first time doing stand -up this So we find this out after he has a decent set for a minute.

[1573] It's his first time ever doing stand -up.

[1574] The show keeps him from being depressed and all, you know what I mean?

[1575] So this wide span is what helps make it refillable, like what you were saying.

[1576] And, you know, it's just so cool because we're basically, when it comes to that PC stuff that we were talking about earlier, like, I don't know if there's many places where the vent for that, where you can get a real barometer.

[1577] because look we have the Apollo 13 which they're called the Apollo 13 because it's like showtime at the Apollo but there's like 13 of them so I call him the Apollo 13 this group of black people so like for example a few weeks ago this one kid like it doesn't even seem like he's 21 closes on this horrible joke about Kanye what somebody needs to throw Kanye a banana or something like that in the whole place the whole place is in chaos groaning and the Apollo 13 standing up like oh hell no And it's like, you know, since it's such a live show, that's sort of like, you know, if you make a racist joke that's not funny, you're going to die, dude.

[1578] You know what I mean?

[1579] Like, that's the worst type of, you know, so it's, since there's a real live comedy crowd, you get a real good barometer for what's going on and it makes it more exciting.

[1580] And it's just so, so fun what we're doing, keeping it refillable, like what you said, finding new ways to, tweak it here and there and you know every time i go i do it like once every six months or something yeah it's always a new element there's always something new something and the fact that the background guys like jeremiah and all those guys like change outfits all the time and they're constantly doing new things it's just it's a ridiculous show and that's the king domerara is the fucking king yep he is so good at that shit oh my god everybody smiling but redband look at him it's all sad so serious someone stole his dog fuck domerara is the king of that shit though he really is he's so good in it he really is he said you know if he did it he did this thing a couple weeks ago where he said to a guy like he's like I like how you don't try to do that whole funny thing you know everybody else tries these punch lines these comedy things not you different path all together like he's so great at that he just says it like it's like he's giving a big compliment what's the new thing that's the Hannah Gatsby path oh a lot of people are doing anti -comedy catch up Tony yeah I guess I will fucking cisgendered white male piece of shit I'm the bad guy yep but yeah just doing a lot of stand -up ramping up to hopefully make another special soon and uh I feel good about things so we'll see what happens life is good I'm pumped beautiful yeah yeah good to hear it's gonna be it's gonna be it's gonna be it's gonna be a naughty special winning if it happens it's not gonna be like Nanette you're gonna be naughty yeah hmm we're gonna talk about some things are you planning i'm being naughty or are you just naughty all the time it's modern day naughtiness man late night naughtiness built in the darkness i think this is a good time for comedy like a lot of people are complaining about comedy right now they think this is somehow or another this is a bad time for comedy but a rjafir said it best he said you know what's good about comedy right now comedy's dangerous yeah there's real consequences to saying fucked up things oh i agree a hundred percent and and it makes us some comedians are leaning towards it right like uh -huh i won't i don't want to talk about that i don't want to talk about that i don't want to talk about that and they're they're losing the they're losing the fun because all of a sudden i get up there you know what i mean you have the whole all of a sudden you're touching the untouchable yes are you exactly right it's also there's fun in explaining yourself there's fun in navigating the waters right like this one of the things that i i made sure that i did, I thought very, I thought out very thoroughly when I did strange times that my last special.

[1581] I wanted to make sure I really thought out how I can pull these bits off and how I can make them, like, Doug Stanhope said it best.

[1582] He said he looks at his material like a defense attorney, like as if he's defending his material.

[1583] Like that's a great way to look at it.

[1584] I look at my material like I'm a hater.

[1585] If I was a hater, how would I poke fun at that?

[1586] If I was someone who's looking to be offended.

[1587] So get that out of the way.

[1588] Like there was some bits that I did in the last one, in Triggered, that I changed a lot of what they were from the beginning to when I put them on film.

[1589] Because of the way audience members were reacting, I was like, well, clearly, I'm having a problem with this where they're not, I'm not even getting to the switch.

[1590] I'm not getting to the misdirect because they're upset before I get to the misdirect.

[1591] I'm not, it's, and it'll be fine if they let me get to the end but sometimes they would heckle or they would get upset like one lady at the comedy store I had explained to her twice I go listen I'm saying it like this because I'm going to shit on myself afterwards this is what I'm saying and this is what it was a bit about you remember that bit I used to do about um women can do everything men can do that's not true because men can't do everything some men can do that's why we have the Olympics like the idea that everybody could do everything that's ridiculous because it was about the woman who guarded the White House.

[1592] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1593] Yeah, I was like, I can't guard the White House.

[1594] Do you know how I know?

[1595] Because I met Shaquille O 'Neal and his dick is where my face is.

[1596] And I had explained to her, like, this is, see, this is where I was going to go with it.

[1597] If the White House is experiencing a shack attack, I'm the last guy to save the earth.

[1598] Right.

[1599] Okay, he's just too fucking big, you know, and I would explain, I was trying to get to this, but I was, this lady was getting upset at me before I was, so I had to think.

[1600] I was like, okay, if it's just a drunk dummy, how do I keep the drunk dummy, how do I keep the drunk dummy from popping off before I get to the misdirect.

[1601] So I had to restructure things and I had to figure out a way to make it so that it's clear and like you just have to you just have to navigate the waters more carefully.

[1602] Yeah.

[1603] But you could still get just as much juice out of it, just as much comedy and just as much shit that's forbidden, just as many tabooed topics.

[1604] It's just you have to be really clear.

[1605] Yeah.

[1606] You have to be really, you have to have good writing.

[1607] That's what's great about.

[1608] doing the clubs on the road before necessarily doing, you know, bigger venues or whatever is because you really can feel them.

[1609] You know, you feel where those moments are.

[1610] Sometimes in a bigger venue, you're sort of taking a gamble.

[1611] You know what's gonna, you know what's gonna get a laugh and what not a laugh, but you can't really feel they're like.

[1612] You don't develop material in a big club.

[1613] Right.

[1614] Well, it's like a 10 ,000 seat room.

[1615] You don't develop material.

[1616] At, like, Air Canada Center, you know, the Scotia Bank Arena that we went to.

[1617] Yeah.

[1618] You don't develop any material there.

[1619] You better have that shit solid.

[1620] Yeah.

[1621] You can't even have it memorized.

[1622] It has to be part of your...

[1623] You're better than anything.

[1624] You have to know it better than you know anything.

[1625] But, like, what is it, the Funny Bone in Columbus?

[1626] Yeah.

[1627] That place.

[1628] You develop material there.

[1629] Comedy Works, Denver.

[1630] Yeah.

[1631] Develop material there.

[1632] You develop material in clubs.

[1633] Yeah.

[1634] You have to have both.

[1635] I firmly believe that those guys who just do big play.

[1636] and they only play to their audiences, they're fucking themselves.

[1637] Totally.

[1638] It's like an athlete that doesn't strength train.

[1639] Or it's like, you know, someone who doesn't, they don't work out, but they don't watch their diet.

[1640] It's like, man, you got to, if you want the best results, you got to do the whole thing.

[1641] They're out of touch.

[1642] I mean, you got to do the whole thing.

[1643] Those people, let's just, I mean, I don't want to name any names.

[1644] Say it.

[1645] No, no. I mean, but let's just say a guy that's super duper famous, goes to a theater, you know, one of those big legends, what they don't do is they don't experiment not being funny.

[1646] What they should do is they should have a secret five -minute experimental bit buried in their set that's purposefully, nothing funny about it, and run it.

[1647] And when they hear those laughs, that's when they'll realize like, oh, shit.

[1648] Oh, shit.

[1649] They're laughing no matter what, because I have them trained.

[1650] Is that true?

[1651] If it's their fans and their dumb comedy, fans.

[1652] I don't think they're going to laugh at things that aren't funny, but I think they're going to laugh harder at things that aren't as good.

[1653] I think they're going to want, like I went to see a comic.

[1654] I'm not going to name any names.

[1655] Me and Joey Diaz went to see him because we were playing in the place the next night.

[1656] Yeah.

[1657] And it was, it was one of those situations where someone was doing their material for their audience and you could tell they hadn't been working out in the clubs.

[1658] You could just see it.

[1659] Yeah.

[1660] And the people wanted to laugh.

[1661] They wanted to laugh.

[1662] They were there were fans and they were with it.

[1663] That's the difference.

[1664] between that and say a set at the store when it's 11 p .m. on a Tuesday night when they've already seen you and Joey Diaz and Ari and all these other killers like you gotta be funny actually funny.

[1665] It doesn't matter if you're you know some fill in the name whatever fucking superstar.

[1666] You have to actually be funny.

[1667] They give you a minute or two to get settled in on stage.

[1668] They're clapping.

[1669] They're excited to see you come with the fucking jokes.

[1670] Barely did they give you a minute Really, they really do.

[1671] It's really truly 30 seconds.

[1672] Especially in the OR.

[1673] It really is.

[1674] It really is.

[1675] It's so hard to recover from a spin -out.

[1676] So much easier to start strong and take chances and fizzle out than it is to not start off on the right foot and get them going.

[1677] It's also because they're right on top of you in the OR.

[1678] They're right there.

[1679] I mean, you could just high -five them.

[1680] And they know.

[1681] At that point, they know what's going on.

[1682] know you better get to it.

[1683] They've already seen six of their favorite new comedians.

[1684] They're already waiting to Google the lineup after they go home.

[1685] They're like, oh my God, this is crazy.

[1686] And they know what the blue light in the corner means all of a sudden.

[1687] They're like, oh, this guy's got three more minutes.

[1688] He better fucking stick that landing.

[1689] They're not that dumb.

[1690] It takes what?

[1691] Seeing two or three comedians in the original room, which is only 45 minutes before you You're trained, and you know everything that's going.

[1692] Ooh, here comes the piano guy.

[1693] There goes the light.

[1694] You see the piano guy walking to his seat.

[1695] Here comes.

[1696] Yeah.

[1697] The weirdest place is the belly room.

[1698] That's the weirdest room.

[1699] I fucking love that room.

[1700] The room so weird.

[1701] The birthplace of Kill Tony.

[1702] That's another thing that makes Keltony fun is it's like it was totally just, it was a belly room baby.

[1703] And now you see this big, man, like having Kill Tony Mania, I drove a van of 14 people up there.

[1704] I saw a big giant picture up from Instagram.

[1705] It was one of the coolest things.

[1706] I can't remember who I was talking to last night, but I said Yeah and I said it was the coolest 24 hours of my life because I picked everybody up at the comedy store.

[1707] I go be at the comedy store 9 a .m. Friday morning.

[1708] I'm going to pick you up and I'm driving everybody back that night.

[1709] And I literally did.

[1710] I went and rented this big cool, badass fucking luxury van.

[1711] So you did two shows in San Francisco and then you drove back that night?

[1712] Hell yeah.

[1713] What time Did you get home?

[1714] I think it was 7 or 8.

[1715] Actually, it was like 8 a .m. How'd you stay awake?

[1716] First of all, after a kill Tony, I'm a freak for like three or four hours, so I knew that.

[1717] So I'm like, that's going to be easy.

[1718] And I was because like adrenaline, like hosting adrenaline.

[1719] Like I'm crazy about that show.

[1720] So it's like so much.

[1721] Like I'm looking at what where red band's fingers are.

[1722] I'm trying to get the guest.

[1723] So you're involved.

[1724] You know, I'm thinking moves ahead the whole time.

[1725] time.

[1726] I'm super wired.

[1727] So I knew I really just needed to survive the last two hours.

[1728] And it was awesome, man. Hot coffee, beef jerky, cold, sugar -free red bull is enough for me. My body was like, what the fuck are you doing when I got home?

[1729] Did you do a set Saturday night anywhere?

[1730] Your damn motherfucking right.

[1731] Main room baby.

[1732] I slept from 11 a .m. to like 6 .30.

[1733] That's awesome.

[1734] It was so cool.

[1735] That's awesome.

[1736] But the really cool thing, as cheesy as this is going to sound, is like taking those 14 people, all with different backstories, all from different years and different amounts of appearances.

[1737] You know, Sarah Wineshank and Ali Mokovsky were regulars over the different years at different times that all the fans know from seeing them each 100 times on 100 different episodes and this guy and this guy and this guy and this guy and the band and everybody was just on fire.

[1738] We met some of the best and worst people you can imagine in all of San Francisco.

[1739] In the history of the 303 episodes of the show, there's only been one guy that ever walked off the stage angrily that couldn't handle the heat.

[1740] That happened in San Francisco like two and a half years ago.

[1741] The same guy, we didn't realize until he did it again, that it was the same guy.

[1742] He walked off again?

[1743] He walked off.

[1744] I go, you know, the only other time.

[1745] that anyone's ever walked off in Kill Tony history was here in San Francisco and the crowd goes and like 10, 15, 20 people stand up and literally go, that was the same guy.

[1746] I'm like, that was the same guy.

[1747] That was that same guy.

[1748] I mean, the energy of the show and the fans and everything, man, it's like so cool.

[1749] But yeah, I can't remember what made me get on this, but I drove everybody there and back and it made it like such like a, I was like the dad for a day.

[1750] You know what I mean?

[1751] Like I bought everybody.

[1752] in and out on the way up there like it was so cool everybody's just so happy that van strawberry shakes that van is hilarious and that's the second row there so like uh it's me and uh ali mccowski in the front on this picture who's the fake john reap in the back oh that's william montgomery and he's coming for everybody's jobs that's that guy that guy is a genius he's like andy koffman meets a fucking tennessee trucker he's coming for everybody's going to know who that guy is eventually he's been doing it 11 years out of memphis tennessee and he just got here a few months ago and he's just an improv guru like he just goes like you can ask he bullshits you can ask him anything and he's literally got like that uh that comedy twitch muscle where he just riffs and it's the dumbest shit and the most glorious shit at the same time so this is the second row so you're ahead in the front here driving well wadkins takes his picture you got afrodite taking a nap look at that frow second row from the back right j e belt the house artist you got josh who decided to sit in the middle the continuous grump he gets he's he gets motion sickness and he didn't sit next to a window for some reason so that's a genuine frown on his face mikey mccernan in the back left i mean all these people did amazing things it was just so incredible george and christian slinging merch at the front you know i just love like grassroots created shows like that where it just started out as nothing and then it became what it is now i just love shit like that i love when people have an idea and they stick with it and when are you gonna start doing the golden pony hour again speaking of which uh probably uh probably actually uh really soon i just got to i just got to do it i have to um i have to figure out whether i want to do it at the comedy store or not though because it seems like i don't know why not you're really good with live audiences like that off the cuff why not have a show like that and do it in the belly room do it on an off night in the belly room you know you did one monday night you were doing monday night yeah find another like off time 10 p .m especially if you do it late night like some weird late night show yeah i think you're right actually that might be the move i think i need to do it in front of a live audience it's your forte yeah i mean you're great at that kind of stuff yeah and to do it in a small intimate room like the belly room and to build it back up you can get a logo and a big sign behind you the golden pony hour yeah maybe you're a gold suit maybe you do every show with a gold suit on i like the way you're talking now i'm telling you right i can fulfill the prophecy the prophecy be the the mastermind remember the mastermind no the pro wrestling manager the guy that writes everything and executes it you could do something like that like some sort of a simple portable backdrop look at that oh hell oh come on $40.

[1753] It's for the cutout.

[1754] Oh, that's a star stand up.

[1755] Like, the suit's only $40?

[1756] What's it made out?

[1757] See if you can find one of them suits.

[1758] Gold, what is that word, LeMay?

[1759] What does that word mean?

[1760] L -A -M -E.

[1761] I've seen that word before, and it's one of those words I never bothered to look up.

[1762] Lame.

[1763] Ah, you said lame.

[1764] What does it mean?

[1765] LeMay suit.

[1766] Just type in suit.

[1767] Unable to walk normally No, that's lame, bro Oh, it does say it Well, I typed in the Here, fabric Oh, it's a type of fabric There it is, it's all right LaMay is the type of fabric Wovein or knit With thin ribbons of metallic fiber Oh, yeah That's your shit A fucking gold lame suit, dude That's what I'm gonna get Hold on, type in Gold LeMay suit Hmm Here we go Oh, baby.

[1768] Oh, $1 ,200 jacket.

[1769] Let me see.

[1770] No, we need to get some custom -made shit.

[1771] That's what we need to do.

[1772] If I hired someone to build you a suit.

[1773] Yes.

[1774] Would you, yeah?

[1775] I'd wear the shit out of it.

[1776] All right.

[1777] You kidding me?

[1778] There's someone out.

[1779] That shit was, that's ridiculous.

[1780] That one's a little ridiculous.

[1781] Isn't it?

[1782] I don't know.

[1783] Any old iron sequin suit.

[1784] I mean.

[1785] That's sequin, though.

[1786] There's like silver in there.

[1787] That shit's going to get in your fucking clothes.

[1788] and stuff.

[1789] It'll get in the washing machine.

[1790] It looks like a tony suit.

[1791] I think you need to get someone to make you one of them.

[1792] I think we need to hire it's like...

[1793] Jayree, come on.

[1794] What does it say?

[1795] It's a ninja suit?

[1796] It's a band -ex.

[1797] Oh, those poor cosplay people.

[1798] Oh, geez.

[1799] Yeah.

[1800] We need to get something to make you one.

[1801] Yeah, it needs to be like tailored properly.

[1802] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1803] It's got to fit you.

[1804] We need to get David August.

[1805] That's the company that makes...

[1806] They make Connor McGreg.

[1807] Greger's suits.

[1808] They make my suits for the UFC.

[1809] Really?

[1810] Yeah.

[1811] Oh, hell yeah.

[1812] I can't wear regular suits.

[1813] I'm not built like a normal person.

[1814] So, look at that.

[1815] She's wearing one.

[1816] Hot bitch.

[1817] Whoa!

[1818] Damn.

[1819] Yeah, okay, so we're going to do that.

[1820] I'm going to hire David August to make you a gold LeMay suit that fits you perfectly.

[1821] Yes.

[1822] And this will be the launch.

[1823] And you'll have heard about it here, folks.

[1824] The launch of the Golden Pony Hour.

[1825] Live from the Comedy Store Wednesday nights.

[1826] Live from the comedy store in the belly room.

[1827] Midnight Elvis's suit No, I don't want to buy Elvis a suit He's been farting in it Taking pills It's probably pills in that pocket That'll kill you right now Elton John Billy Joel And Elton John Sting all together again All right Yeah so we'll do it And dude I gotta finish my fucking act So we can get on the road again Yeah I'm excited What is it now It's October 31st Tomorrow's the first I'm gonna start doing mushrooms Immediately And I'm looking I have 35 minutes now.

[1828] 35 minutes.

[1829] I've timed it out.

[1830] 35 new minutes.

[1831] I can actually do a 35 minute set.

[1832] I did a 35 minute set.

[1833] I'm looking at January.

[1834] January, start booking dates.

[1835] I love it.

[1836] You're going to start booking in January or booking four?

[1837] Booking for January.

[1838] So November, stay in L .A., December, stay in L .A., January.

[1839] Maybe we do like the comedy works in Denver in the fucking dead of winter.

[1840] What?

[1841] I think I'm going to London for the last.

[1842] the first time in the middle of February.

[1843] Oh, shit.

[1844] You'll love it out there.

[1845] They're very polite.

[1846] Do you remember the first time that we did Stockholm and you thought that you weren't doing well because they're very polite in between sets?

[1847] And I had to say, no, no, no. They listen.

[1848] They were laughing.

[1849] You're like, I felt like a bomb.

[1850] By the way, I didn't believe you.

[1851] I had to ask everybody around me that, like, security, like, I was, I could not, I took what you said.

[1852] Like, I believed you, but I didn't really believe you.

[1853] Like, I thought you were.

[1854] just being, I thought you were being nice.

[1855] Like, it's like, oh, he's trying to give me a pep talk.

[1856] Like, oh, you did good.

[1857] I would never do that.

[1858] Right.

[1859] No. Just know that.

[1860] I know.

[1861] If you ate shit, I'd tell you, dude, you could do better.

[1862] I know, but I know you wouldn't do that.

[1863] That's why it was crazy to me, because I'm like, either the world is different over here on the other side of the world or they're fucking with me. Two things to take into consideration.

[1864] One, it's their second language.

[1865] So it's basically, it's a novelty.

[1866] They're going out to see comedy, which is a novelty.

[1867] I'm sure they're Swedish comedians, but I'm sure the timing and the language is just very different going from, you know, Swedish style comedy to American style comedy.

[1868] But they're just really polite.

[1869] So they would laugh and then they would stop and they would listen.

[1870] And you're like, it just felt like dead in between the bits.

[1871] I'm like, I'm telling you, man, you did great.

[1872] But then you saw it when they were doing it from my set.

[1873] And you're like, oh, that's how they really are.

[1874] I go, yeah.

[1875] I go, but they had a great time.

[1876] But they laugh, but they don't, there's not like all this chatter in between the jokes.

[1877] Right.

[1878] They wait, and then they're laughing again.

[1879] They laugh and again.

[1880] But then your second set, we did two shows that night, you came out and you were comfortable.

[1881] Yeah.

[1882] You were fun.

[1883] Because I embraced it.

[1884] Yeah.

[1885] I stayed in the pocket instead of being like, what's going on?

[1886] Well, they are that way in England as well.

[1887] In England, they really appreciate the craft.

[1888] They really appreciate stand -up comedy.

[1889] And they really appreciate it as a show.

[1890] They're extremely polite when they watch shows.

[1891] I really enjoy performing there.

[1892] I like it a lot.

[1893] I haven't been there in a while, and I know I should go back, and I will, I promise.

[1894] But the last time I was there, I was like, man, they're just, they're intelligent, they're polite.

[1895] Like, the way they watch a show, like, they go to see a show, you know.

[1896] That place is great.

[1897] Manchester's great.

[1898] London's great.

[1899] Newcastle.

[1900] I did a lot of places in England at a good time.

[1901] You know what else is fucking great, but in a different way?

[1902] Wild.

[1903] Dublin.

[1904] You got to do Dublin.

[1905] Dublin's chaos Yeah, I want to go over there But you've got to get drunk Have they done a UFC there?

[1906] Yeah, they've done the UFC there Sure Yeah Has Connor fought there?

[1907] I'm sure I don't know if there's been a UFC in Dublin While he was huge though I don't know That's a good question Because they were going to do Like a soccer stadium over there When was the last time Connor fought in Dublin I don't know man It seems like that would make sense Yeah was it Cage Wars He did fight one UFC UFC against Brandao Oh Diego Brando Second fight Yeah okay Yeah so I think is Yeah Yeah His first one was in Stockholm Then Boston then Dublin And then Okay that makes sense Except for two Yeah now though Jesus Christ That guy can't even walk in Dublin That guy can't go anywhere Ooh, that's something that we're about to do together We're going to go to Toronto Oh yeah, your girl's fighting My girl's fighting Guess who's undefeated with me next to the octagon Yohani and J -Chic Damn right, guess who's about to be Remember when she got that strawweight championship What'd she do?

[1908] She ran out of the octagon, came and took a picture with Tony She tongue kissed you That's right Yeah, she reached in your pants And grabbed your Malook stick Yep And I believe that's what's going to happen again.

[1909] No, she didn't do any of those things, folks.

[1910] We're just joking.

[1911] Yeah, we're kidding.

[1912] But she did jump out of the octagon and take a picture with...

[1913] Well, no, that's a different one.

[1914] Tony, I punch you in the face and you're doing nothing.

[1915] That one bottom right there.

[1916] Again and again and again and again.

[1917] Bottom right.

[1918] Yep.

[1919] Right there?

[1920] Boom.

[1921] Yeah, that's kind of it.

[1922] Oh, yeah.

[1923] That's right after Jamie.

[1924] She came out and she pointed at me and goes, come over here.

[1925] Look at that with her belt on.

[1926] Yep.

[1927] That is hilarious.

[1928] Yeah, it's a tough fight, man She's fighting Valentina Shefchenko Valentina is a fucking murderer man She is a monster However, I think not having to cut that extra 10 pounds is going to give you a lot of pop And a lot of extra energy And we're going to see the old Iona You know what I mean Rose had her number technically And that's the only person we've ever seen Have her number, so Yeah, she absolutely struggles To make 115 pounds Absolutely undeniably It's an agonizing weight cut for her.

[1929] I think it'd be better for her.

[1930] They have fought before, you know.

[1931] They fought two or three times in Muay Thai and Valentina's won all the fights.

[1932] Yeah.

[1933] Valentina's a beast, man. Yeah.

[1934] And she's bigger.

[1935] Valentine's coming down from 135 to 125 but but I like it.

[1936] It's probably one of the more technical female MMA fights you're ever going to see in terms of like, you know, you want to be in a world champion Muay Thai fighter, Valentina being, you know, at that same level.

[1937] They're just both super, super technical.

[1938] I'm pumped.

[1939] That's going to be fun.

[1940] Yeah.

[1941] Going to hang out in Toronto.

[1942] Hell yeah.

[1943] Woo!

[1944] All right.

[1945] Let's wrap this fucking thing up.

[1946] So, October.

[1947] It's been a good time.

[1948] It's over.

[1949] Let me see the standings.

[1950] See if anybody made a wild push today to try to...

[1951] Does it end a midnight East Coast or West Coast?

[1952] Do you guys have you set that?

[1953] Yeah, East Coast because...

[1954] Also, it ends in six hours.

[1955] What's going on with my fucking phone?

[1956] Six and a half hours.

[1957] Look, you won't let me open the phone.

[1958] Oh, great new bug, Apple.

[1959] Stuck in the notifications.

[1960] Look, the notifications, stuck in it.

[1961] Look at that.

[1962] The clock hasn't even shown up.

[1963] Look at that.

[1964] Wonderful.

[1965] Wonderful new bug.

[1966] Yeah, but what's up with that bug?

[1967] That's fucking terrible.

[1968] Oh, it's doing it again.

[1969] They had a button you can press.

[1970] Wonderful.

[1971] Wonderful new bug.

[1972] That's crazy.

[1973] New fucking piece of shit.

[1974] Good night, everybody.