MFM Minisode 232 - Almost Joined A Cult

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Oh, and welcome to the mini episode of my favorite murder.

[2] Your family -friendly podcast.

[3] Short version, slow -cooking podcast.

[4] That's not family -friendly.

[5] That is in no way.

[6] Well, it's about families.

[7] If you have a cool, older aunt, that's family -friendly.

[8] She can be into it.

[9] Yeah.

[10] And this is the episode where you guys send us your stories.

[11] We just read them to you.

[12] Yeah.

[13] Yeah.

[14] And listen, I'm sure you're thinking, I wish I had a story to send it.

[15] And you do, because we've asked for everything.

[16] So if you have a funny, weird story.

[17] Yeah, there's pretty much anything.

[18] Just think of the story that you tell if you are sitting in, say, a meeting and they go, go over on the table and say the most interesting thing about yourself.

[19] You know, you can pull something out of that.

[20] And then if you tell it and the whole room is quiet and no one talks to you again, we want to hear it.

[21] That's our story.

[22] That's the one we want to hear.

[23] That's what you owe to us.

[24] You know what?

[25] Send us the stories of the time you told a really awkward, weird story that you shouldn't have told.

[26] Tell us that story and the time you told it uncomfortably.

[27] Please.

[28] Great.

[29] New topic.

[30] All right.

[31] I worked for a sex cult man. Lighthearted.

[32] And listen, okay, a dude name, Stephen, Stephen, Bay, Morris.

[33] Stephen Ray Marie -Marie Morris instead of Marie -Rae Morris.

[34] And listen, I didn't pick it because of how he did the introduction, but it helped.

[35] I love you, Georgia, I love you so much.

[36] Hi, Mimi.

[37] Can you deal with that?

[38] And then cut to Mimi with her tiny mouth going like, I'm fine.

[39] Why do you want to know?

[40] Get off my leg.

[41] That's the best one so far.

[42] Mimi who beat on the bed three times while we were out of fucking town doing live shows this past weekend.

[43] Mimi who will not have any of it ever.

[44] Yes, say hi to her first and only.

[45] Only.

[46] Hi, Mimi.

[47] Hi, Mimi.

[48] I used to do treework for a small family run.

[49] And Arbrobic, Arbreast, Arbrioculture Company in Texas.

[50] They have to be fancy about it.

[51] If you're not hit to tree work, and I'm not, whenever you see a bunch of dudes wearing high visibility shirts tied to the top of a tree and totally wailing on that tree with chainsaws, those are tree workers.

[52] Hey.

[53] They are all hungover.

[54] No, yes.

[55] It was okay work, but I had to quit because I hate the winter and kept almost cutting parts of my hands off.

[56] my boss was a gregarious middle -aged man with a few quirks like how he was always drinking but were rarely drunk I think that one's just called having a sweet -ass time yeah he claimed to be friends with the guys in bow house oh he wouldn't let his wife have a career uh -oh he spelled he was very german yeah he spelled his name backwards for no reason um he kept encouraging the guys on the crew to take showers back at the shop after work.

[57] Okay, I see.

[58] Here we are.

[59] Here we go.

[60] Like he was, like he brought up taking showers all the time.

[61] The warehouse wasn't even supposed to have showers in it, but my boss personally built them.

[62] No. He liked showers so much.

[63] I asked my foreman about the showers thing, and he told me that under no circumstances, should I ever take a shower at the warehouse because my boss was in a sex cult.

[64] I did a little snooping, and the sex cult my boss was in was called Zendik, farm it was started by errol and wolf both fucking german names right yeah zendick in the 60s as a hippie hippified cultural revolution that mostly just sold bumper stickers at farmers markets and played psychedelic jam music okay their version of free love was to enforce a round robin style roster of sex partners so that by the end of the season everyone was fucking everyone i don't know why no i see it i see the thinking yeah yeah and then and then fuck that person just Yeah, fuck them.

[65] Yeah.

[66] Do it.

[67] Just fuck.

[68] The compound my boss had lived in, was in Bastrop, Texas, kind of by Austin.

[69] It was supposed to have disbanded in 2013, but I went to a Labor Day party at my boss's house, and all the sex cult guys were totally there.

[70] And they were totally still on board with the whole sex cult thing.

[71] My boss got a few sodas in him, and he started loudly insisting that everyone come out to the backyard and take a bath in a custom hot tub he had built.

[72] Oh, my God.

[73] My wife and I went home, but one of my coworkers took him up on it.

[74] He said it was nice, but not a very good hot tub.

[75] Don't make a hot tub.

[76] Because it sounds like it was probably a bathtub.

[77] Yeah.

[78] I work at a record store now.

[79] Stor.

[80] A lo, store.

[81] I work at a record store.

[82] No. And sometimes people send us old Zendak Farm or orchestra records.

[83] They're actually pretty fucking groovy.

[84] Stay sexy and don't take a bath with your boss.

[85] Stephen in Texas.

[86] Stephen.

[87] In Texas.

[88] I loved anything but learning.

[89] about the inner lives of an arborist.

[90] Come on.

[91] Arborist.

[92] Why couldn't I pronounce?

[93] I mean, why am I asking that?

[94] It's not really in our nomenclature.

[95] Oh.

[96] Bing, ding, ding.

[97] Hi, Mimi.

[98] Hi, Mimi.

[99] The first email I have here, the subject line is, my dad is a cult lawyer.

[100] Oh, fun.

[101] Okay.

[102] Hi, Georgia, Karen, Stephen, and Pets.

[103] So the other night I was listening to a podcast called Colts to follow us sleep, and I listened to an old one about the 12 tribes cult, started by Albert Spriggs.

[104] Have you listened to Colts?

[105] No. I'm done now.

[106] I'm straight up listening to Colts now for my Thanksgiving guys.

[107] Thanks for the recommendation.

[108] Thanks so much, David.

[109] I'll give you a little background because it's relevant.

[110] Okay.

[111] I was scared that when I first read this, that we had done the 12 Tribes Colt and I was like, shit, I have no memory of this whatsoever.

[112] Don't remember that.

[113] I felt real scared and sad and lonely.

[114] as Spriggs started the cult in the late 1960s.

[115] He taught his followers that all other religions are satanic.

[116] I'm into that.

[117] Kind of true.

[118] And that Satan must be beaten out of children before they turn four of the adult members.

[119] I'm not on board anymore.

[120] That's sickening.

[121] The community refuses all medical help.

[122] So some children have died from the beatings.

[123] To make money, Spriggs opened up food stores called the Yellow Deli all over the country, which sounds oddly familiar.

[124] familiar um i'm thinking of the hello deli from david letterman's show forget it it's just a rhyme it's not the same can you tell i'm wearing my pajamas right now because i'm wearing my pajamas at georgia's house right now tired today it's tired outside today it feels tired today so excuse us excuse me while i kiss this guy um okay Members of the cult, including children, worked for free there at the Yellow Deli, for up to 12 hours a day.

[125] Spriggs purchased single -family homes and would house up to 40 members in one home.

[126] No. The cult had so many allegations of child trafficking.

[127] Over time, the cult changed the names of its delis to shake the tail of the people who were catching on.

[128] All of this sounded oddly familiar to me. We have a bakery in the town where my dad's law firm is called the Blue Blinds Bakery.

[129] The people there are odd but friendly.

[130] and they dress really old -fashioned.

[131] I just thought the children that worked quietly in the back were their children.

[132] Oh, no. Because it's a, quote, family -run business, end quote.

[133] Yikes.

[134] I had been going to this bakery with my dad since I was an infant, so I texted him about it.

[135] Turns out, not only does my dad know that the Blue Blinds Bakery is part of the 12 tribes cult, but it gets worse, he's their commercial real estate lawyer.

[136] What?

[137] And there's five full exclamation points after that.

[138] I agree with those.

[139] He helps them buy and sell houses and bakeries to this day.

[140] No. He told me that three years ago, they invited him to Thanksgiving and asked him if he had any young children.

[141] No. So much for you're in a cult, call your dad, SSDGM, Hannah.

[142] Holy shit.

[143] That's the best.

[144] Fuck.

[145] Very fuck.

[146] that's like you know what do you do then what do you do what do you do that's your dad fucking shit up for people don't do that dad but you know all cults have to have they have to have commercial real estate lawyers they have to have arms dealers you know cults this is the business cults do this guy's trying to make a living as my dad always says there's no shame in a paycheck unless you're helping a sadistic fucking cult a child beating, a cult that's based on child beating.

[147] Yes.

[148] You might want to look into pulling your interests out of that.

[149] You might have some shame in that paycheck.

[150] There might be some shame, and there also might be repercussions later.

[151] Yes.

[152] From the business.

[153] Yes.

[154] Okay.

[155] This is called My Close Encounter with a Murder Cult.

[156] Hi, guys.

[157] You guys are my favorite.

[158] I started listening after my girlfriend recommended your podcast.

[159] She also reminded me that I have an interesting story to share, so I thought I'd share.

[160] Great.

[161] I was born in Venezuela.

[162] When I was seven, my family had been making arrangements to move to the U .S. One day I was hanging out with my cousin who lived two or three miles from my grandparents' house in a rural town in the middle of nowhere, Venezuela.

[163] They wrote it like it.

[164] It was dark.

[165] My aunt reluctantly let me ride back to my grandma's house.

[166] This was a usually fun ride, just a dirt road with nothing but vegetation on either side.

[167] I was enjoying the night noises.

[168] God, being outside a lot of life.

[169] alone as a kid at night.

[170] The best.

[171] And if you're far away from the city, if you're nowhere Venezuela, but the stars are pretty rad.

[172] I bet.

[173] Yeah.

[174] I was enjoying the night noises when all of a sudden there was complete silence.

[175] I could feel the tension in the air.

[176] I looked around me and noticed I was being surrounded by a group of people holding candles.

[177] What?

[178] They were chanting something I couldn't understand.

[179] When they got close enough to touch me, I wrote as fast as I could all the way to my grandma's house.

[180] Once I got there, I jumped off my bike, ran on my grandma, held her tight, and just cried.

[181] She saw the fear in my eyes and just held me. That morning, a girl that was close to my same age was found dead in close proximity to where I had been that night.

[182] No. Next to her body, there were candles, black feathers, and animal blood.

[183] This was the first in a series of child murders that happened in similar fashion with candles and all the other items near the bodies.

[184] No one was ever charged for these murders.

[185] it still scares me to think of how close I was to being a sacrifice of a creepy cult that may still be in operation almost 20 years later.

[186] Holy shit.

[187] I would ask you guys to avoid riding a bike at night in the middle of nowhere, but let's be honest, there's no way you do that.

[188] You're too smart for that.

[189] So instead, stay sexy and don't get murdered.

[190] Thanks, Leo.

[191] Wow.

[192] I know.

[193] Oh, that's so creepy.

[194] It's creepy and so sad, and now I want to read all about it.

[195] But I would like to say this.

[196] you Leo, because the important point of that, it's like when we talk about being aware of your surroundings, you're enjoying the night noises.

[197] It means something when all the crickets stop making noises.

[198] Like trust your weird little instincts.

[199] Yes.

[200] If you're, if the hair is going up on the back of your neck, it doesn't matter how normal people look.

[201] Yeah.

[202] Or how normal the situation is.

[203] Get the fuck out of there.

[204] Even like, yeah, just trust it.

[205] Totally.

[206] Oh, creepy.

[207] So close.

[208] The subject line of this is my roomie, the mooney.

[209] Okay.

[210] Awesome.

[211] Fun.

[212] Hello, Steve.

[213] Karen, Georgia, and assorted pets.

[214] Great.

[215] I was listening to one of the old minisodes, and I heard you guys mention the monies.

[216] My first college roommate and her family were and are monies, or unificationists, as they preferred to be referred to.

[217] It's like a religion, it's like a culty religion thing.

[218] It's a fucking straight up cult.

[219] Okay, great.

[220] But I think that when you're in it, you're like, this is my religion.

[221] Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

[222] I, and if you, look, I actually learned a lot.

[223] about the church, the first couple of years of college, 2013 to 2015.

[224] So this is recent.

[225] Yeah.

[226] Because she was and still is one of my closest friends.

[227] Her parents got married because they were personally, quote, unquote, matched together by the Reven Sung Young Moon.

[228] Her dad was Jewish, but ended up converting to unificationism.

[229] Must have been one of those spaghetti dinners, L -O -L.

[230] I don't remember that.

[231] And his parents regularly sent people to try to unbrainwash him for the first couple of years.

[232] but to no avail.

[233] I'm pretty sure they ended up disowning him.

[234] One of the big things in the church is that unmarried people were not allowed to date, but instead had to occasion a, quote, matching process.

[235] This meant you had to decide you wanted to get married and your parents, the church, would work together to find someone who also wanted to get married and they would quote unquote match you and the two of you would quote, unquote, date.

[236] I know it really does.

[237] The two of you would date and with the expert.

[238] that you would get married within a year or so I mean shit dude like half the fucking ladies I know are like sign me the fuck and I'll eat spaghetti and get matched with someone that's all I have to do that's all I have to do but here's the thing all you want is your friends to like the best dating option is someone saying I have a friend you're really gonna like yes and not enough people fucking do that everyone get on that it's all I do I'm always wrong it's true but you try a lot I try hard you try with old old Miss Havisham over here where George is always like like now have you ever thought about this where I'm like I don't think of anything anymore.

[239] I'll be like tell me your perfect person and they'll be like who do I know looks like that yeah no I'm there she also likes to run scenarios if I do have a crush on somebody and I'll just say a dumb thing then she'll be like here's what we're going to do if he walked in okay here's what we're going to do we're going to have a party and then when he walks down I'm going to shove you really hard you're going to clonk heads with him which at first here's my problem when we start to do that I laugh and think it's funny and then when the party starts right I begin a slow terrible panic and end up in the furthest back corner and I won't move.

[240] And you can feel the heat coming off of Karen because of her embarrassment.

[241] When you mention it, oh my God, it's the best.

[242] I can't.

[243] I don't understand how people flirt genuinely and earnestly with other people.

[244] I've never dated someone that I haven't like hit on when I met them cold turkey.

[245] I'm going to have to take your class.

[246] You just got to be, you got to act like pretend you have to like conjure someone.

[247] I conjured my mom.

[248] I love Janet.

[249] And I'm just like, what's up?

[250] I'm hot and you know it like let's talk you have to do you have to conjure someone you know I just the idea of it I get because as we said a million times my flirting technique is furrow my brows and act like either I didn't hear what they said to me or I didn't like what they said to me and turn around yeah let's walk away I'm from the 90s it's very unfair I bet it's so many guys have crushes on you because of that the problem is whether it works or not I'll never know I'll never fucking know.

[251] Ben's and I, when I've been, I fucking walked into our friend Megan Gans's birthday party across the room.

[252] Shout out Megan Gans.

[253] She also loves Endeavor.

[254] She's the best.

[255] Walked across the room.

[256] Saw a fucking Tog dude and a fucking Ben Sherman shirt and was like, I'm going to talk to that motherfucker tonight.

[257] He and I made eye contact.

[258] He doesn't remember.

[259] But he came over later and was like, hi, I'm Vince.

[260] And we just fucking hit it off immediately.

[261] So you were given the old Janet I across the room.

[262] So then he knew to come over.

[263] yes yes and they saw me talking to our friends and was like came over yeah you gotta and then when you shake hands you just like give it this little look this like baddie eyelash you're fucking jessica rabbit you're jessica rabbit no i am that's who you're conjuring oh god okay sorry cut all of this out i love it no no no i love it but i'm also now i'm sweating i can feel your heat i'm so you know what it is just pretend you're someone else for a minute it's true you know what If I could wear sunglasses at night, I would do it.

[264] Girl, they're called bangs, and they work just as well.

[265] Here's the thing.

[266] You know what worked great for me for so long?

[267] Your giant tits.

[268] No. When Georgia just said your giant tits to me, she also looked at me the way she was talking about looking at someone.

[269] You gave me a little downward eye.

[270] I looked at your tits.

[271] I'm sorry.

[272] I've had three wines.

[273] Listen.

[274] And look.

[275] I'll do both.

[276] Okay, this is turning into it.

[277] That makes me laugh so hard because being a blackout drunk for all the time where I should have been practicing all stuff like this, I think I was doing stuff like that.

[278] I just don't remember.

[279] Yeah, great.

[280] That's like better because remembering it the next day is a horror show.

[281] Right.

[282] So you already did it.

[283] You're already there.

[284] You're practiced.

[285] Yeah.

[286] Listen, you're Zaja Gabor.

[287] Darling.

[288] And I slapped them across the face.

[289] I'm going to start slapping cops and see if that works for me. Okay, sorry, go on.

[290] We're in the middle of an email right now.

[291] I mean, this is being recorded.

[292] I love that this is being recorded and distributed.

[293] Stephen, you do send these out, right?

[294] Okay, thank you.

[295] So what is?

[296] Okay, go on.

[297] We ended with the idea that basically you tell the head of your cult that you would also like to be married like your 1 ,000 friends.

[298] So basically, so this other person would like to be married, you mean, And my point was, imagine the moment of, like, having to walk through that door where you're looking at this person and any impression you have, you're also like, and I have to marry this person.

[299] Yeah.

[300] It's not even like, just go and have coffee.

[301] It's no big deal.

[302] Yeah.

[303] You have to marry them.

[304] Yeah.

[305] It's very high stakes.

[306] Very exciting.

[307] Pass.

[308] So next time you are in a bar, be like, well, at least I don't have to marry this person.

[309] I can go talk to whoever I want and I never have to speak to them again.

[310] It's not like it's the moonies.

[311] That's what it is.

[312] There's not like it's the moon.

[313] There's no stakes.

[314] There's no stakes.

[315] thank you georgia you're welcome i'm good at this then you okay so then you had to go to a special mass ceremony i've seen these on tv in the 80s they used to show it on the news like every six months they'd be like the reverend moon had a ceremony for at this unification church and it was a huge room with literally a thousand or two thousand people all wearing the same shit all getting married at the same romantic i mean romantic um so then you'd at the mass ceremony to get married within the church, but afterward, you'd have to get a marriage license and get married in a courthouse to get those sweet, sweet tax breaks.

[316] Oh, because it wasn't legal.

[317] Okay.

[318] Well, wasn't necessarily real until they got their certificate.

[319] Sure, sure, sure.

[320] They still had to do the government work, is what this person was saying.

[321] Both my roommate and another one of her siblings were involved of something called Generation Peace Academy after high school.

[322] Good band name.

[323] Oh, my God.

[324] Right?

[325] Yes.

[326] Basically.

[327] they spent a year traveling around the country and raising money for the church which means they were raising money so that Reverend Moon could buy guns and ammo the magazine and lived out of cars and had to learn to survive camping out in the wilderness.

[328] Pass hard pass fun you lost me. Marry a stranger I never knew all the fucked up shit that happened with the Moonies I experienced them as regular people whose Christianity was just a little weirder than what I grew up with that's really open yeah it's true my former roommate well because i bet she her roommate was cool yeah yeah totally my former roommate and her siblings no longer believe in the teachings of reverend moon but like her good sons and daughters pretend to for their parents oh you don't don't do that though none of them are planning on getting matched l -ol stay sexy and sometimes you can't call your dad because he's in the cult too hey amazing ending like that was a great bring back around that was a profess letter that was great thank you so much much letter K. Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[329] Absolutely.

[330] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

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[347] Goodbye.

[348] That time I was almost recruited for a sex trafficking cult.

[349] Okay.

[350] And it starts y 'all.

[351] Y 'all.

[352] About a month ago, my friend Lauren and I decided to meet up for a quick shopping trip and an Asi Bowl.

[353] How do you say it?

[354] I think you did it right.

[355] Osiye Bowl at a nearby mall.

[356] This sounds like a very 16 -year -old thing to say, but we're very much grown -ass women.

[357] Well, trying to enjoy our berry bowls outside, three women approached us.

[358] They were dressed very professionally and asked if they could ask us a question.

[359] We are both too polite, so we said yes.

[360] I get it.

[361] Can we ask you a question?

[362] No. I know.

[363] But also like, what are they going to fucking say next?

[364] You're just curious.

[365] Kind of interesting.

[366] Yeah.

[367] One began to ask us random questions about if we had ever heard about God the mother.

[368] She then proceeded to read some scripture that apparently alluded to God the mother and was asking us more questions and sharing.

[369] We both had a kind of glazed over expressions.

[370] I kept eating, nodding, but not really listening.

[371] It seemed like she was trying to put a feminist spin on it, but it wasn't really landing.

[372] After a while, she asked if we'd be interested in coming to a Bible study class to discuss it.

[373] We both very politely said, no, then tried to jump back into our conversation, making it very clear we were done with a conversation.

[374] Then they asked again if we'd like to give our contact info for this study.

[375] And we said, no. That was my emphasis.

[376] But I'm imagining.

[377] That's how it absolutely would be.

[378] No. No. They eventually left.

[379] We rolled her eyes, but didn't give it another thought.

[380] Until today, all caps.

[381] Lauren sent me a screenshot of a post she saw.

[382] It was warning women in Charlotte where we live that there are well -dressed women approaching women at malls and outside shopping centers in the area, asking them to join Bible studies to talk about God the mother.

[383] See, when you look at this up to make sure it's not a creepy pasta woman, look up God of Mother in Charlotte.

[384] Okay.

[385] That these women are part of a sex traffic ring slash cult.

[386] It warned that they are approaching younger women.

[387] Why was I momentarily flattered when I read that part?

[388] I'm 37.

[389] What's wrong with me?

[390] Look, we take what we can get where we can get it, lady.

[391] What's wrong with you is that you're our best friend?

[392] Yeah.

[393] And that no matter what, do not go with them.

[394] Do not say you want to go to the Bible study.

[395] Do not give them your contact info.

[396] We're all like, no shit.

[397] Many women started replying that they've seen them around town, spoken to them, and that as soon as the Bible study women see security or police, they scatter.

[398] I'm just like, all right.

[399] I mean, who am I guess?

[400] Same was skateboarders.

[401] So, I mean.

[402] Yeah.

[403] One woman responded that she saw one of these ladies talking to a man in a blacked out van and left with him.

[404] Ooh.

[405] It's one of those things where we aren't sure if it's a weird urban legend.

[406] or what, but considering it just happened to us, we freaked out.

[407] And then we both said, all caps, we have to email our BFFs, Karen and Georgia.

[408] We both are grateful for the love of true crime and MFFM because it kept us from being too polite, stay sexy, and just keep eating your ostee eyeball, Kendra and Lauren.

[409] Yes, Kendra and Lauren.

[410] Good for you, girls.

[411] Very good work.

[412] Well, also that's that thing.

[413] First of all, I was like, is this nexium?

[414] That would be so exciting.

[415] We're like, did you recognize anyone from Smallville in that conversation.

[416] But that idea that people are fishing using women and, you know, some kind of like we're all together and the sisters.

[417] Her name's Ivanka Trump.

[418] Don't fucking fall.

[419] Don't buy it.

[420] Get away.

[421] Get away.

[422] Run away.

[423] That's right.

[424] Stephen, did you find it?

[425] So they're not sure the source.

[426] They said they've heard these reports of this group and the warnings.

[427] That's creepy pasta.

[428] But they haven't, like, they haven't been able to like track it down or confirm if it really is.

[429] They're telling us an experience they had.

[430] Yeah.

[431] Why would they lie to us?

[432] Well, and also just because they can't track it down doesn't mean it's not a creepy thing.

[433] Right.

[434] So it stays.

[435] This stays.

[436] Stephen, I swear to God, if you cut this, I'll fucking fire you.

[437] That's my new bit.

[438] Okay.

[439] This subject line of this hometown is, my uncle was in a tiger sanctuary cult.

[440] What?

[441] Timmy.

[442] Hi, Karen, Georgia.

[443] Stephen and various pets.

[444] I was hanging out with a bunch of friends recently and we wanted to watch one of those Scientology recruitment video.

[445] for laughs.

[446] Well done.

[447] But one of my friends freaked out and refused to let us watch it.

[448] Yeah, that's the coolest friend you've ever had.

[449] Oh, I bet that friends have fucking.

[450] I don't watch that video on in my house.

[451] Jim, can you calm down?

[452] Jim's like, do, do, no, it's not cool.

[453] It's not funny, man. The lukewarm response I got to, come on, it's not that big of a deal.

[454] Everyone's got an uncle who used to be in a cult made me start to think that this is not a universal experience and that you guys might enjoy my family story.

[455] I love it.

[456] My mom's brother was working construction when he was brought in to work on some of the enclosures in the Oregon Tiger Sanctuary.

[457] The sanctuary is operated by the foundation.

[458] This is all like title caps.

[459] The foundation for meditative studies, which is a group devoted to the teachings of mafu, an ancient spiritual master channeled by the group's leader, channeled by the groups leader.

[460] Oh, he channels this ancient person?

[461] Right.

[462] Oh, sorry, the group's leader, Penny Torres, so I guess it's a woman, who goes by the name Swami Parmananda Sarah Swati.

[463] Well, I'm going to join.

[464] That sounds legit.

[465] That sounds right to me. We're only halfway through.

[466] According to Mafu, they're all about love and awakening and joy and whatever.

[467] Sure.

[468] But according to, it literally says it and whatever.

[469] But according to my mom and a couple of forum posts from 2006, they ain't all that great.

[470] apparently after my uncle was done working on the tiger enclosures he was told that he connected with those tigers so well that he should stay on and help them and stay on with them to help out.

[471] I've seen a bunch of accusations online about the classic nasty cult stuff that they have had going on that it's one big orgy.

[472] The leader is super violent, is super violent to members and that they take all your money and stuff.

[473] But what I do know for sure is that they convinced my uncle that he was being manipulated by his whole family, and that he was finally free of their control once he joined up with Mafu.

[474] He apparently left some really awful voicemails while he was there, accusing everyone of manipulating him financially and emotionally, and just accusing everyone of some really awful stuff.

[475] I don't know how he got out, but he did, and now he's in a band with his wife.

[476] What the fact?

[477] He's in a band with his wife, and he grows pot in Montana.

[478] So it sounds like he's doing great.

[479] What sounds?

[480] So correct.

[481] Thanks for reading SSDGM, Aaron.

[482] Wow.

[483] Everyone needs an uncle like that.

[484] An amazing journey.

[485] It was.

[486] Tiger cults.

[487] I love the idea of, it's kind of, it's like, you finally find this belief, right?

[488] Something clicks in your life.

[489] Yeah.

[490] And you're like, that's it.

[491] Tigers.

[492] Yeah.

[493] I belong with tigers.

[494] That's right.

[495] They're right.

[496] I belong.

[497] Tiger orgies.

[498] is me. This is who I finally can be.

[499] Right.

[500] I've been waiting for a thing my whole life.

[501] Yes.

[502] And I'm super pissed.

[503] Yeah.

[504] Now I'm going to start leaving angry voicemails.

[505] So that people know that this is like I'm going to burn every bridge in town.

[506] Yeah.

[507] Fuck, send us your shit to my favorite murder at Gmail.

[508] Great batch, everybody.

[509] Great work.

[510] Thank you so much.

[511] These are the best.

[512] The best.

[513] You write them and we read them.

[514] It's the best.

[515] It's the best.

[516] Um, thank you so much.

[517] Thanks.

[518] Stay sexy.

[519] And don't get murdered.

[520] Goodbye.

[521] Do you want a cookie?