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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Oh, and welcome to my favorite murder, your favorite cat podcast.
[17] since 2016 aside from the percast oh whoops whoa dude i've never seen stephen so angry stephen just quit stephen just ripped his mustache off and threw it on the ground sorry stephen please come back please come back please come back and put that back on it's really creepy to see you without it we don't just we can't have floating mustaches around here it's bad for the cats So anyway, this is the minisode where we are in Europe, so we're pre -recording this.
[18] It's all the time.
[19] It's hour four of recording.
[20] Yeah, we've done a lot of making sure everybody's asses are covered while we are in Paris, France.
[21] We are not going to Paris for the third time.
[22] We're going to join Europe in the European capital of Paris, France.
[23] I'm just going to laugh for this thing.
[24] You do, you do the work.
[25] Sounds great.
[26] Great.
[27] This is a minisode.
[28] Read me a story.
[29] Okay, good, because we're going to start with an update.
[30] Fuck, yes.
[31] Okay.
[32] And the update, it says, update on the serial masturbator or, and then S, in parentheses, after the end of masturbator, in Riverside.
[33] Hello, MFM family.
[34] Let me just note, almost every single female graduate student in my department went insane when you read the last email about the serial masturbator on campus.
[35] Almost all of us are diehard MFM fans and wait to listen to MFM when we were.
[36] in our respective labs so that we don't go crazy well hi everybody hi stay in school hi so we're like we're going to stop doing so many drugs and stay in school um also double freak out because now you're one of the rare people that gets two emails but it is an update so don't other other hometown people don't be so bitter we need to know this information ready go i just wanted to give a quick update on the insanity of public masturbation that is happening at uc rivers We just received a note that a second, yes, a second person has been arrested for public masturbation on campus.
[37] One man, a 21 -year -old from Coachella, uh -huh, who's from Coachella, was arrested last month, and a second man, a 27 -year -old from Riverside, was arrested last week.
[38] Holy shit, cops.
[39] Way to go in Riverside.
[40] They're on it.
[41] They're on it, like crazy.
[42] I'm not sure what the hell is happening.
[43] but the string of lewd activity has I don't know why that's such a funny phrase lewd activity has seemed to pull weirdos from out of our poorly lit dorm rooms and are striking with a vengeance on campus I've been on this campus for many years so I've dealt with the insane range of notices from UCPD like the dangers of playing Pokemon Go where the email reads that Charazard charizard Charzard?
[44] Charzard?
[45] I mean.
[46] Charzard.
[47] Say it, millennial.
[48] Explain it, Harry Potter.
[49] That Charizard is certainly rare and is an amazing find, but you will mean nothing if you are hit by a vehicle because you stepped on the roadway and your attempt to catch it.
[50] Wow.
[51] Don't understand any of that.
[52] We are much, much older than college students.
[53] And when a psychology student was kidnapped during finals week a few years ago, and she convinced the perpetrator to bring her back safely to campus.
[54] Side note, imagine that conversation with your professor about postponing your exam.
[55] I want her to write in now, please.
[56] College campuses are definitely shit shows for safety, but I'm glad we get the information we need to stay sexy and not get murdered.
[57] Thanks so much for the countless hours.
[58] You've helped me and so many others on a special thanks from the women in environmental toxicology and environmental sciences.
[59] Cool.
[60] Wow.
[61] UC Riverside, you guys.
[62] I love when we find out that smart people listen to the podcast.
[63] It's amazing.
[64] It's an honor to be listened to by smart people.
[65] It's a mystery as to what you people think you're doing.
[66] Focus on your science.
[67] They need to give their brains a break.
[68] And so they listen to this podcast.
[69] What is it about Riverside?
[70] Do you think that's so goddamn attractive that guys are just jerking at left, right, and center in public?
[71] Well, maybe we need to go to Riverside and find out ourselves.
[72] Is it the weather, Stephen?
[73] Even you're from the Inland Empire.
[74] What's going on in Riverside?
[75] I think it's a lot of meth.
[76] Yeah.
[77] Oh.
[78] Yeah, that's a bummer.
[79] So when you do meth, you need to masturbate publicly all the time.
[80] Well, your inhibitions are down.
[81] True.
[82] Your meth is up.
[83] Your meth intake is up.
[84] You get those meth levels nice and high.
[85] Yeah, real excited.
[86] And you're like, I want to share this with everyone.
[87] Yeah.
[88] I'm so happy.
[89] Okay.
[90] Well, yeah.
[91] Okay.
[92] All right.
[93] Settled.
[94] Here's, um, this is how Cousin Doris ruined her life by finding, Trazier.
[95] Trazier!
[96] Yeah.
[97] Hi, Karen, Georgia, Stephen and Pets.
[98] I'll be honest, after listening to you guys for close to two years, I'm both thrilled to finally have a story for a minisode category and pretty terrified of screwing this up.
[99] Uh -oh.
[100] All right, Kathleen, don't screw this up.
[101] You better fucking nail this, Kathleen.
[102] Cousin Doris was actually my dad's cousin, so she's probably my second cousin or something.
[103] like that.
[104] In the 1950s, she lived on a farm with her husband out in the sticks of Pennsylvania.
[105] Late one night, a friend of their stops in and asked him to hang on to a box for him.
[106] Yes, no problem.
[107] Won't look inside at all.
[108] Absolutely.
[109] We'd love to have that box.
[110] Give it here.
[111] Give it over.
[112] He'll be back to get it in a little while.
[113] Doris and her husband put the box on a top shelf in the closet and forget about it.
[114] Without even looking at it.
[115] Yep.
[116] Better person than I am.
[117] I bet it's his hat or...
[118] His hat box.
[119] It's in the whole check stubs.
[120] About two years later, Doris is wrestling around in that closet and knocks the box over.
[121] It falls to the ground and bursts open to reveal cash.
[122] Cash.
[123] More cash than Doris has ever seen in her life.
[124] She and her husband go on a shopping spree.
[125] She buys furs, and he buys a beautiful Packard convertible.
[126] Wait.
[127] How many years later, sorry?
[128] Two years later.
[129] So it's like 1950, whatever.
[130] Yeah, but where's the guy?
[131] They're just spending the guy's money?
[132] Oh, sorry, sorry.
[133] There's only one problem.
[134] I think that they were just like, fuck it.
[135] Yeah, cash.
[136] It's been two years.
[137] Nobody can prove, but we did or didn't have this cash.
[138] That's the problem with cash.
[139] There's only one problem.
[140] They live in a tiny rural town.
[141] Everyone knows their business, and everyone's super duper knows that they have no legitimate reason to have that much money.
[142] The authorities get involved and actually, and eventually pieced together that the friend who disappeared had robbed a bank.
[143] hidden the money at Doris's house, then accidentally fucked off and died.
[144] So, it's horrible.
[145] Go ahead.
[146] Well, I was just going to say, so if they had played it right, you never buy a fur.
[147] Or a convertible.
[148] First of all, you don't need a fucking fur unless you live in the mountains.
[149] Yeah.
[150] Yeah.
[151] Just move out of Pennsylvania.
[152] Just, you could go, you could move somewhere, or you could just buy small nice things.
[153] Right.
[154] Every time you go to the drugstore, a new pair of hose.
[155] Right.
[156] Something like that.
[157] Go to Sephora and do like a $250 sweep.
[158] No one is the wiser.
[159] The point is to be responsible with the money you've stolen.
[160] Yes.
[161] Please be a practical thief and criminal.
[162] Of course not.
[163] Just use your head.
[164] Bah, blah, blah, blah.
[165] Doris and her husband are convicted of aiding and abetting, receiving stolen goods, etc. She does 18 months either in prison or jail.
[166] I'm not sure which.
[167] Except here's the sad twist.
[168] Doris was in her mid -20s at the time that this happened.
[169] While she was locked up, she started hearing voices and being bothered by people no one else could see.
[170] Nowadays, we understand that the onset of schizophrenia is pretty common in a woman's 20s.
[171] But as far as my family was concerned, prison drove her nuts.
[172] Well, yeah.
[173] We called her crazy cousin Doris until we understood that that was not a cute nickname.
[174] No. Which probably took way longer than it should have.
[175] She got divorced pretty soon after getting out of prison and moved to California and spent the rest of her life reading magazines about aliens.
[176] Hell yes.
[177] At least she was happy about the little gray men not creeped out by them.
[178] Stay sexy, don't get murdered, and be careful of free cash, Kathleen.
[179] Am I crazy cousin Doris?
[180] Because that sounds like a dream life.
[181] Reading magazines?
[182] In fur coats.
[183] But also sitting in a convertible.
[184] Right.
[185] You know how much you love your fur coats, Karen.
[186] You know that I have a fox fur coat Do you really?
[187] My aunt and I had to, I know There's actually a stole that goes with it That has the fox hat on it No no no no It's like a little piece of I was gonna say topiary Taxidermy Oh god that's horrifying It's because my two great aunts Also great aunts They were two old maids Were they?
[188] Wait Is this to show Abfab It's reverse Abfab they were like very repressed Irish Catholic never neither of them ever got married my aunt Anne never went on a date urges and they like had they used to work for the phone company the phone company that's how they that they had that accent never from sales ago we worked down to the phone company and they'd go see a picture on Saturday exactly right oh that was a good picture and I guess they saved up their money and my aunt and bought herself a full -on fox fur.
[189] It's like the first nice thing you ever bought, and the only nice thing she ever bought herself?
[190] Yeah.
[191] And so now it's in my closet.
[192] I've put it on once.
[193] It doesn't suit me. And it suits a fox.
[194] It's strips of fox.
[195] It's awful.
[196] It doesn't even, it's not even like kind of cool looking.
[197] Yeah.
[198] It doesn't, it's upsetting and odd.
[199] And also it's that thing of like, there's people that get into stuff like that, that status shit where it's just like well cut to 50 years later when it's like a little bit moth eaten and out of style and you'll feel very stupid for having spent like five grand on a coat totally it makes no sense it doesn't is it my turn it's your turn okay this subject line of this hometown is my uncle was in a tiger sanctuary cult what yes yes yes yes and yes Timmy hi Karen Georgia Stephen and various pets I was hanging out with a bunch of friends recently and we wanted to watch one of those Scientology recruitment videos for laughs well done.
[200] But one of my friends freaked out and refused to let us watch it.
[201] Yeah, that's the coolest friend you've ever had.
[202] Oh, I bet that friend's a fucking...
[203] I don't watch that video on in my house.
[204] Jim, can you calm down?
[205] Jim's like, do, do...
[206] No, it's not cool.
[207] It's not funny, man. The lukewarm response I got to come on, it's not that big of a deal.
[208] Everyone's got an uncle who used to be in a cult made me start to think that this is not a universal experience and that you guys might enjoy my family story.
[209] I love it.
[210] My mom's brother was working in construction when he was brought in to work on some of the enclosures in the Oregon Tiger Sanctuary.
[211] The sanctuary is operated by the foundation.
[212] This is all like title caps.
[213] The foundation for meditative studies, which is a group devoted to the teachings of Mafu, an ancient spiritual master, channeled by the group's leader.
[214] Channeled.
[215] by the group's leader.
[216] Oh, he channels this ancient person.
[217] Right.
[218] Oh, sorry, the group's leader Penny Torres, so I guess it's a woman, who goes by the name, Swami Parmananda Sarah Swakti.
[219] Well, I'm going to join.
[220] That sounds legit.
[221] That sounds great to me out.
[222] We're only halfway through.
[223] Okay.
[224] According to Mofu, they're all about love and awakening and joy and whatever.
[225] Sure.
[226] But according to, it literally says, and whatever, but according to my mom and a couple of forum posts, of from 2006, they ain't all that great.
[227] Apparently, after my uncle was done working on the tiger enclosures, he was told that he connected with those tigers so well that he should stay on and help them and stay on with them to help out.
[228] I've seen a bunch of accusations online about the classic nasty cult stuff that they have had going on, that it's one big orgy, the leader is super violent to members, and that they take all your money and stuff.
[229] But what I do know for sure is that they can, convinced my uncle that he was being manipulated by his whole family and that he was finally free of their control once he joined up with mafu he apparently left some really awful voicemails while he was there accusing everyone of manipulating him financially and emotionally and just accusing everyone of some really awful stuff i don't know how he got out but he did and now he's in a band with his wife what the fact he's in a band with his wife and he grows pot much So it sounds like he's doing great.
[230] So correct.
[231] Thanks for reading SSDGM Aaron.
[232] Wow.
[233] Everyone needs an uncle like that.
[234] An amazing journey.
[235] It was.
[236] Tiger Colts.
[237] I love the idea of it's kind of, it's like, you finally find this belief, right?
[238] Something clicks in your life.
[239] Yeah.
[240] And you're like, that's it.
[241] Tigers.
[242] I belong with tigers.
[243] That's right.
[244] I belong, tiger orgies, this is me. This is who I finally can be.
[245] Right.
[246] I've been waiting for a thing my whole life.
[247] Yes.
[248] And I'm super pissed.
[249] Yeah.
[250] Now I'm going to start leaving angry voicemails.
[251] Right.
[252] So that people know that this is, like, I'm going to burn every bridge in town.
[253] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[254] I love that day.
[255] Like, just like, let's the short film that we're going to make is like that is tag.
[256] He joins the Tiger Colt.
[257] He puts his membership card next to the phone, picks that thing up and just starts down.
[258] Just starts.
[259] Just starts accusing everyone in his family of molesting him.
[260] Just like...
[261] He pulls out the family phone tree.
[262] You molested me. And you were rude to me at Christmas.
[263] Right.
[264] All right.
[265] This is called...
[266] All right, here's another family story.
[267] Wonderful.
[268] Family mystery, light with a rabies twist.
[269] Yes.
[270] Okay.
[271] Hello to everyone.
[272] Wonderful.
[273] Hello, everyone.
[274] I finally have a story to write in now that you've opened up...
[275] You've opened it up to rabies -related stories.
[276] Amen.
[277] I grew up in Toronto as the youngest of four siblings.
[278] When I was about eight, we moved into a new house with an antenna pole in the backyard.
[279] I don't know what that means.
[280] Any child could easily climb to get to our roof.
[281] Okay.
[282] I think it was those, they used to have those things that you could hang your laundry on to dry.
[283] And it was like, it looked like it should be a toy, but it was just kind of a thin aluminum.
[284] And it had like sticks coming out and then that you could use like ladder prongs.
[285] And you hung a ton of clothes on them.
[286] Okay.
[287] As opposed to like a cord that went across the yard.
[288] I like it.
[289] Okay.
[290] My mom forbade us all from going up there.
[291] But naturally my two older brothers were always playing around on the roof, throwing loose shingles at each other.
[292] Yes.
[293] You find weird ways to entertain yourself when your single mom can't afford to send you to camp.
[294] That's right.
[295] Amen.
[296] Okay.
[297] One evening when my mom was at work, my brothers wanted me and my sister to play.
[298] outside with them and sent me in to recruit my sister.
[299] I returned to tell my brother she wasn't going to play, but when I walked outside, the younger of my brothers, who was 10 years old, is standing in the dark beside the house.
[300] Then all I see is him recoiling and shouting in pain.
[301] My other brother, 14, is nowhere to be seen.
[302] The injured brother and I go inside, and I see he has a gash on his forehead from being hit with something.
[303] When I go back outside, I see my 14 -year -old brother come out of the backyard and he sternly tells me not to tell mom about any of this.
[304] Fucking older brothers.
[305] It was a roof shankle?
[306] Well, when my mom comes home from work and sees the gas, she flips out and makes my injured brother tell her what happened.
[307] And he says the older brother threw a shingle off the roof and hit him in the head with it.
[308] My mom goes to get mad at the older brother who immediately denies it and says that he saw a bat, the animal, not the sporting good.
[309] My mom assumes he's lying and makes her tell.
[310] it makes me tell her what I saw.
[311] I said what I knew, that he was hit with something.
[312] The boys had been on the roof earlier.
[313] I didn't know where the older brother was during the incident.
[314] My mom wants my brother to confess, so she threatens to take the younger brother to get rabies shots if it really was a bat that hit him.
[315] My older brother refused to admit it, and we couldn't find the shingle on the ground as evidence.
[316] So my mom had to follow through with getting the younger one vaccinated.
[317] Luckily, just a few months earlier, the rabies vaccine changed from a giant.
[318] needle in your abdomen to a standard shot.
[319] To this day, my older brother still denies throwing a shingle, and I think it will always remain my own little mundane family mystery with a rabies twist.
[320] S -S -C -G -M cadence.
[321] That's hilarious.
[322] Fucking siblings.
[323] The brother would have broken by now.
[324] Wouldn't me?
[325] No. I don't think so.
[326] You think he would have stuck to it?
[327] Yeah.
[328] But there's no stakes anymore, right?
[329] If he's like an adult, hopefully.
[330] Yeah, but some people are weird.
[331] Oh, like, you're right.
[332] He probably enjoys that it's this thing.
[333] He made his brother get a series of rabies shots because he couldn't admit he was a bad person.
[334] What if the brother had, like, died from the rabies shots?
[335] And then he had to live his whole life.
[336] Then he'd really have to double down and be like, yep, nope, never threw that tile.
[337] Careful in this area.
[338] Bats are really, real fucked up in this area.
[339] You know, we had a bad issue in our family.
[340] We don't like to talk about it, but it was pretty serious.
[341] Anyway.
[342] He killed my brother.
[343] Anyway.
[344] Anyway, this Super Bowl is.
[345] Nuss.
[346] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[347] Absolutely.
[348] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[349] Exactly.
[350] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[351] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[352] That's right.
[353] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[354] Give your point of sales system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[355] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[356] So give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[357] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[358] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.
[359] Connect with customers in line and online.
[360] Do retail right with Shopify.
[361] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[362] important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[363] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[364] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[365] Goodbye.
[366] Hey, this is exciting.
[367] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[368] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.
[369] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[370] Who killed Saz?
[371] And were they really after Charles?
[372] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[373] This season, murder hits close to home.
[374] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[375] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[376] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[377] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[378] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[379] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on who.
[380] Lou.
[381] Goodbye.
[382] Did I go first?
[383] Yeah, we both done two.
[384] Well, can we do three?
[385] Because the subject line for this next email is, all caps, I got rabies at the Taj Mahal.
[386] What?
[387] Oh, I guess it's not that big of a deal because Stephen picked all of these.
[388] Okay.
[389] I was like, what a coincidence?
[390] No. Oh, you thought it was coincidence.
[391] No. It's not.
[392] He's always planning and scheming with that mustache over in the corner.
[393] Rip it off your face now.
[394] Okay.
[395] Dear beautiful creatures, human and animal.
[396] Well, hello.
[397] When I was 11 years old, I went...
[398] Is this from Paul Holes?
[399] What?
[400] Is this from Paul Holes?
[401] No. Could you imagine?
[402] Oh my God.
[403] Could you imagine?
[404] He's like, uh, girls, listen, I just really quickly want to tell you about this raccoon.
[405] Yeah.
[406] Stop saying my name.
[407] Girls, please get rid of that hashtag.
[408] I'm a happily married man. I have a family.
[409] And I like to put my hands on my hips all the time.
[410] When I was 11 years old, I went to India with my mom.
[411] And on our last day, thank fuck.
[412] We went to the beautiful Taj Mahal.
[413] We were touring baby Taj, tomb of Littemad Addaula.
[414] I did my best.
[415] We saw a swarm of adorable chipmunk like animals.
[416] Oh, no. I will touch anything with fur, parentheses, even now.
[417] I have yet to learn my lesson.
[418] So our guide said that they were very friendly and to try to pet them.
[419] Oh, no. Trying to live out my snow white fantasy.
[420] I approached the odd ball of the group.
[421] Oh, no. This is just, I don't want to hear any more of this.
[422] It's a real twitchy one over on the side that moves slow.
[423] Who just like can't keep up with the rest of the pack?
[424] And so it's making noises that that animal doesn't make.
[425] It's chewing its own fucking arm off.
[426] It's smoking.
[427] I approached the oddball of the group, which turned out to be a huge mistake as it promptly jumped up, bit me under the nail of my middle finger, and refused to let oh no despite my flail what despite my plows no it's my sister used to have hermit crabs when we were like she was eight and i was six yeah and one time i picked one up and it just really slow because they're just little tiny crabs went like this and like grabbed my thumbnail and i went like that and like through this poor and guy hermit crab across the room cracked its shell is very sad but it scared the shit out of me so the idea that like a squirrel thing having its teeth and not letting go the guide eventually got him off my hand and went back to our hotel and we went back to her hotel to see a doctor the doctor who saw me told me very bluntly that I was going to die they didn't have a vaccine and only one person has ever survived after not being injected within 24 hours post -infection.
[428] And she ended up in a coma.
[429] So, like, great.
[430] The flight home was 17 hours.
[431] My mom refused to take the next flight out because we already had dinner plans.
[432] Oh, my mom.
[433] Talk about mommy issues.
[434] Am I right?
[435] We had to pre -order the vaccine back home as I live in New York City and no one gets rabies from pigeons.
[436] And the doctors were freaking out about my time for.
[437] of course all caps when we landed my mom insisted on first showering unpacking and blowing out her hair before taking me to the specialist mom kind of sucks mom is doing her thing mom dh t dh t she's got a dh t lots of therapy behind this dang um got to look cute so when i finally uh saw the now exasperated doctor we had to give me he he had to give me he he had to give me shots in my arm and the bite sight.
[438] So again, under my nail.
[439] I had to get shots in my butt every day for a month.
[440] And the doctors told me that I definitely had rabies based on my reaction to the meds.
[441] So please, don't sass me about how small rodents rarely have rabies.
[442] It can happen.
[443] Oh, my God.
[444] Well, thanks for making me feel relevant.
[445] Your podcast is getting me through life in law school.
[446] Stay sexy.
[447] Don't pet the weird chipmunk just because you think it could benefit from some attention.
[448] All my love.
[449] Kaylee, I know my parents threw in all the letters.
[450] Oh my God, that was hilarious.
[451] I love that.
[452] I'm glad that we get you through your life that you can live, despite your mother's best efforts to fucking kill you from rabies, Kaylee.
[453] Your mother was from, I bet you my mother's same generation, where it was everything, no matter what was happening, she'd be like, put a little lipstick on.
[454] Yeah, or calm down.
[455] It's all they cared about.
[456] You're going to a doctor's office.
[457] Please pull a brush through your hair, Karen.
[458] You're going to the dentist.
[459] You're going to a doctor's office.
[460] You're taking a plane flight.
[461] Yeah.
[462] You're going on Southwest in sweatpants?
[463] Yes.
[464] Yes.
[465] And I don't give a fuck.
[466] And now I wear sweatpants all day, every day.
[467] Are you happy?
[468] These jing.
[469] I'm wearing a fucking moo -moo.
[470] What am I talking about right now?
[471] Like a literal mu -moo.
[472] If you have any jiggings or mu -mo stories, we want to hear them.
[473] Please send them to you.
[474] have i want any your your your fucking mom just almost killing you stories here's the thing this is a rich area yeah because especially if you had a parent who was if you had a mom who was a nurse like my mother shook off my sister broke her wrist and my mom's like it's fine just take your coke can and put it up against it girls please don't make a big deal i'm fine it's my day off and it turned out she had a broken was her no apologies though No, like, oh, I screwed up.
[475] No, no, because she was always like, you know, she knew.
[476] Yeah.
[477] She knew everything because she was a nurse.
[478] Yeah.
[479] So anyway, I'm sure there's lots of other types of moms that did the exact same thing.
[480] I want how your mom, uh, traumatized you.
[481] As a kid.
[482] Like anything from you sat out in the car while she drank in a bar to, uh, simply refused medical treatment.
[483] Yeah.
[484] All of it.
[485] Definitely want those.
[486] Bring it here.
[487] The thing, like, I got a perm.
[488] She made me do fucking, you know, beauty things.
[489] She made me wear matching clothes with her.
[490] Oh, oh, tell us.
[491] Thanks for listening.
[492] This has been fun.
[493] If you have any ideas for areas you want to tell us about, please send them to my favorite murder at gmail .com.
[494] That's right.
[495] Thank you for listening, you guys.
[496] And stay sexy.
[497] And don't get murdered.
[498] Oh, good boy.
[499] Elvis, you want cookie?
[500] Ah, good boy.