The Big Suey: You Live On a Hill

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[1] In the NFL, there is no margin for error.

[2] One mistake can change the outcome of the game.

[3] Science proves quality sleep can help boost reaction time, recovery time, and overall athletic performance.

[4] As the official sleep wellness partner of the NFL, sleep numbers mission is to provide players with data and insights to optimize their sleep for the ultimate competitive edge.

[5] Sleep is essential for recovery, and we all have unique needs.

[6] That's why Sleep Number smart beds are perfect for couples, with individualized settings for each side.

[7] Since 2018, Sleep Number and the NFL have teamed up to bring quality sleep to elite athletes.

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[23] Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by Draft Kings.

[24] Why are you listening to this show?

[25] The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.

[26] I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

[27] In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

[28] I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.

[29] That hasn't happened to you guys?

[30] I've done it.

[31] And now, here's the Marching Man to Nowhere, Fat Face, and the Habitual Liar.

[32] Every week, we get our version of Siskel and Ebert.

[33] It's David Samson from Nothing Personal with David Samson and Adnan Burke of the MLB Network.

[34] And they regale us...

[35] And cinephile.

[36] And synophile.

[37] Excuse me, and Sinophile.

[38] I'm a boy, Cody.

[39] And they regale us with their takes on Chinama.

[40] and rank top five lists for various categories.

[41] We're going to do that in a second, but first we want to start on a somber note, Adnan, the passing of Johnny Goodrow, who passed away him and his brother in an accident.

[42] They were on bicycles, correct?

[43] Correct.

[44] Hit by a drunk driver.

[45] Johnny Godro, a terrific hockey player, I mean, and, you know, I always talk on Calgary Radio every week, so I have been a real affinity for the flames because of that and keeping tabs on what's happening.

[46] Nine years, Goudreau was awesome with the flames.

[47] And he had a couple of great breakout seasons.

[48] And once he was available as a free agent, Everinson, oh, my God, he could be a transformative presence.

[49] And a lot of thought was because he's from New Jersey, could sign with the Devils or the Flyers, the team that I root for.

[50] Instead he goes to Columbus, played there for the last couple of seasons.

[51] He was back home in New Jersey for his sister's wedding, which was to take place this weekend.

[52] And he is his brother, recycling, and hit by a drunk driver.

[53] And it was absolutely stunning news to hear that they both have passed away.

[54] And I got the news alert last night, and I was in shock.

[55] I'm like, what happened to Johnny Goddrow?

[56] young man still the problem of his life married children all the rest of it but yet another example of a drunk driver taking a life way too soon of course thoughts and prayers the good drove family terrific hockey player and a wonderful guy yes thoughts and prayers and condolences to the good row family um we were talking with this is an abrupt transition because there's no way you can do this and then be smooth about it but we were talking about rich hill going back to the red sox for the fourth time.

[57] Dick Milton.

[58] Out of boy, Adnan.

[59] Thank you, Adnan.

[60] There he is.

[61] David, I'm curious.

[62] Was there ever a player that you guys brought back multiple times and why?

[63] I'd have to go back and think you.

[64] You basically get them at different stages of their career.

[65] Rich Hill now can't be part of a postseason, but neither can the Red Sox.

[66] And he can give them innings, and he really wants to keep going.

[67] And it's a nice story.

[68] They certainly know him.

[69] We used to, as a GM or president, when there's someone you know what they'll be like in the clubhouse, you're apt to give them a job when you have depth needs versus someone else who you don't know, even if you think they could be incrementally better in a role or in a time of the year that it doesn't matter.

[70] So the comfort of Rich Hill is really probably what gave him a chance.

[71] It raises a larger question in life, David, and in baseball.

[72] Yes, you want the most talented guy.

[73] But if talent relative league, we'll take the guy who's a good guy.

[74] And Rich Hill, yeah, he's serviceable.

[75] He'll get a few guys.

[76] He'll get a few guys out?

[77] Sure, why not?

[78] I feel like it is a uniquely baseball thing.

[79] Like, guys in the NBA, in the NFL sometimes come back for a second go -around.

[80] But the baseball thing where guys keep coming back, it's almost like good enough to want, not good enough to keep.

[81] And I get what you're saying, David.

[82] It's like, you have him at first, and he's a star player, and then he comes back, and now he's a relief, and then come back and you just need a good vet in the clubhouse or whatever.

[83] But you rarely see that kind of transition back and forth in the other main sports.

[84] well often they just stay i mean isn't isn't it possible at eudanus haslam is that yes where he had a chance to just stay on the bench when he really was an assistant coach yes wasn't worthy of a spot well i'm not going to say he wasn't worthy of course he was worthy he's worthy it's a culture the culture's right there is it any wonder they get bouncing the first round the first year today's show is going to make me lose my mind i think jeremy's having a rough show between the bounce house and now slander of udonis has let me ask them have either of you guys been at university at Central Florida.

[85] This is here you're going to.

[86] Yeah, I'm going to ask these guys about UCF football stadium.

[87] Thank you, Blake Bortles.

[88] All right.

[89] The only thing I can tell you about UCF is that I don't know sure why, but Jesse Palmer told him when he worked with Reese Davis, when they went to UCF one time, they kept seeing fans saying, with signs saying, what do you think about that?

[90] Like, as if their school was underappreciate.

[91] To this day, if you hear Reese Davis or Jesse Palmer mention UCF Davis, what do you think about that?

[92] That's my contribution to UCF culture.

[93] Same energy still.

[94] The only thing I know about UCF is their stadium stinks.

[95] I'm leaving.

[96] What do you think about that?

[97] Gentlemen, what's the top five of us?

[98] David knew what he was doing there.

[99] He was watching earlier.

[100] Oh, stop it, Chris.

[101] He just walked in right now.

[102] What are you guys ranking for us today?

[103] Well, today, you may not know this.

[104] It's Cameron Diaz's 52nd birthday.

[105] Wow.

[106] And I'd like to just take a moment and say, how the hell is Cameron Diaz 52 years old?

[107] Wow.

[108] I'm not saying that's old.

[109] I'm just saying it's older than I would have expected Cameron Diaz to be.

[110] Right age.

[111] Perfect day.

[112] It depends.

[113] Happy birthday, Cameron.

[114] And I think we should do, in her honor, a top five all -time Cameron Diaz movies.

[115] All right.

[116] I'm with it.

[117] First, we're going to do this.

[118] Happy birthday to her.

[119] I don't care.

[120] Good luck.

[121] Thank you, Chris.

[122] The Madden family cares.

[123] Is that a lie?

[124] No, Madden.

[125] Nobody?

[126] I thought there was a movie John.

[127] The Madden Family Cares.

[128] Something about Mary.

[129] You're talking about John Madden?

[130] No, she's married to a Madden.

[131] Oh, wow.

[132] How about that?

[133] Get with it, I mean.

[134] I did not know that.

[135] From Good Charlotte.

[136] Maybe I'm wrong.

[137] The guy with the face.

[138] You got the duck.

[139] You got the turkey.

[140] It's your duck.

[141] She's married to one and Nicole Ritchie's married to the other, right?

[142] Chris, I want you to clip that for Suey's next year.

[143] That's limited fake.

[144] Adnan Burke as John Madden.

[145] Or is Annabberg as as Brad Caliando has done that's correct you go all right David how about you lead us off let's go number five I'm oh jealelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah shrek baby great selection David best sui nominee I've watched it inside the stadium at UCF number four vanilla sky the movie that people don't understand but if you love Cameron Crow, you love Jerry McGuire, Tom Cruise, go watch Vanilla Sky.

[146] You won't be sorry.

[147] Number three, did anyone use hair gel the same after there's something about Mary?

[148] It changed an industry in a way that we've not seen maybe in any other movie.

[149] Top five industry changing moments for a product.

[150] There's something about Mary and hair gel.

[151] That's number three.

[152] Shout out to Brett Fowler.

[153] He was in that.

[154] Number two.

[155] He gave all the money to Mississippi.

[156] Number two, the holiday.

[157] Oh, great place.

[158] That's a good one.

[159] I like that one.

[160] Every December.

[161] Make fun of me all you want.

[162] But if you don't get emotional watching the holiday with Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Jack Black, and Cameron Diaz, what are you doing?

[163] How adorable are Kate Winsland.

[164] black in that movie.

[165] The chemistry that they have together is just amazing.

[166] Now, I just want to clarify, David gets emotional for the holiday, but not for - sentimental clap trap.

[167] His kids going to college.

[168] Listen, I can't say I'm perfect.

[169] I can only tell you that that fact is true.

[170] But if you want to know the number one movie for Cameron Diaz that I've watched more than a dozen times what happens in Vegas now before you criticize that choice ashton kutcher it's about two people who meet in Vegas they're both down on their luck the late great treat williams has not been very nice to his son ashton kutcher goes to Vegas cameron dyes gets broken up with by a geek and goes to Vegas they meet they have the night of their lives hangover style they get married and And then Dennis Miller is their judge as they try to get divorced.

[171] So bad.

[172] And guess what?

[173] It may end with them together.

[174] But it is so good.

[175] Spoiler alert.

[176] Spoiler alert.

[177] We did it on Cinephobe episode 96.

[178] Nice.

[179] I fobbed it.

[180] That movie's terrible.

[181] But Rob Corder and Lake Bell are great in it.

[182] So I'll give you that.

[183] That's your name.

[184] I do love Dennis Miller.

[185] Samson may have sold with the appearance of Dennis Miller.

[186] So I may just check it out just for that scene.

[187] But I'll take it.

[188] I've never seen the movie?

[189] I've never seen what happens in Vegas, and you've seen it a dozen times.

[190] I would encourage you not with your kids to watch what happens in Vegas.

[191] It couldn't be more of just like a rom -com.

[192] It's just straight down the middle rom -com.

[193] I like the facts arguing.

[194] We'll do the combo.

[195] I'll watch it, then I'll listen to FOB.

[196] There you go.

[197] I'll see why David loves it.

[198] I'll see what it means.

[199] All right, number four, number five, excuse me, gangs of New York.

[200] It's number five.

[201] Cameron Diaz and Leonardo DiCaprio, comparing scars she plays jenny everdeen who's a filch and of course you've got the titanic performance of daniel day lewis i took the father now i'll take the son you tell young ballon i'm going to paint paradise with his blood two coats and then has there ever been a list you've done without scorcese no listen that's an underrated movie gangs in york that's a great and then what won the oscar that year because i thought that was going to win best picture and it it was it was thought to be a meeting got ten oscar nominations and the pianist uh no excuse me Chicago, Chicago won.

[202] Oh, that's even worse.

[203] A musical.

[204] All right, continue.

[205] You guys continue to just break my heart.

[206] Number four, any given Sunday.

[207] Amidst Oliver Stone's bombast and testosterone, you've got to have one strong female character.

[208] That's Cameron Diaz playing the owner, challenging Pacino.

[209] Where is your heart, Tony?

[210] Where is your fight?

[211] Any given Sunday.

[212] It's ridiculous and preposterous, but it's more entertaining they might realize.

[213] Any given Sunday is number four.

[214] The most preposterous is that Cameron Diaz would be an owner.

[215] No, no, not at all, because she's the daughter of the owner.

[216] She inherits the team.

[217] That's what happened.

[218] Yeah.

[219] Number three, smoke him.

[220] It's the mask.

[221] I'm shocked that David did not have the mask.

[222] This was Cameron Diaz's coming out party.

[223] Hello.

[224] Red dress, the mask.

[225] No one's arguing with that.

[226] Number two, being John Malkovich.

[227] One of the strangest, craziest movies in the 90s, and one of my favorites.

[228] It's sublimely original.

[229] She's in love of John Cusack, who's a puppeteer.

[230] He finds a portal where you go into Being John Malcovich.

[231] And then she realizes she's a transsexual and she's attracted to Catherine Keener and so is Kusack.

[232] But she wants to go in the portal and be Malikich and get with Keener.

[233] It's crazy.

[234] It's bizarre.

[235] At one point, QSack locks her in a cage with her own chimp.

[236] Brilliant performance by Cameron Diaz, very much against type, being John Malcovich.

[237] Boy, you really sold that one.

[238] People are running out to watch being John Malcovich now.

[239] Malcovich.

[240] And number one, like David said, I mean, hair gel has never been the same.

[241] We got a blater!

[242] There's something about Mary.

[243] iconic performance of Cameron Diaz.

[244] Unforgettable.

[245] Should have been nominated for an Oscar.

[246] Great film.

[247] David, why was it absurd that Cameron Diaz would be a owner?

[248] Yeah, David.

[249] Because they, I'm happy you can walk me into that, Roy, and I'm just saying that when Cameron Diaz walks in the room with Al Pacino and tries to exert what is normally the power play between an owner and a coach, she did not have the gravitas that is required.

[250] When Amy Adams walks into a room as the owner of the, I was going to say the Oilers, but it's going to be the Titans.

[251] That is a room that she commands.

[252] To me, Cameron Diaz did not command a room.

[253] I couldn't disagree more.

[254] Guys, I got my version of the list real quick here.

[255] My OLLI is, oh, no, it's my number five.

[256] I got straight to number five.

[257] I was so confused.

[258] I thought Amy Adams, the actress, owned one of these teams now.

[259] And then I was trying to figure out what movie we're talking about.

[260] And then I realized Amy Adams is a business and an actor.

[261] Me too.

[262] I thought she was the owner like that movie.

[263] movie with Kevin Costner with the Browns and stuff.

[264] We all went there.

[265] I thought he was like on the actress.

[266] 90 % of people thought we were talking with the act.

[267] Yeah, it was very good.

[268] All right, here we go.

[269] Number five, I can't believe that you guys didn't mention this one.

[270] Bad Teacher.

[271] I thought about it.

[272] I like that movie.

[273] Justin Timberling.

[274] That's the only argument you have.

[275] That's the only argument you need, Sean.

[276] Number four, being John Malcovitz.

[277] Nice.

[278] Number three, the mask.

[279] Yes, good good.

[280] Number two, gangs in New York.

[281] She did an accent.

[282] And number one, it's not.

[283] Shrek, it's Shrek, it's Shrek 2.

[284] Better movie.

[285] Ooh, no, no. Way better movie.

[286] Not even close.

[287] Trek 2 is amazing.

[288] It's Trek 2.

[289] Once the number one selling DVD of all time.

[290] Thank you guys.

[291] In the NFL, there is no margin for error.

[292] One mistake can change the outcome of the game.

[293] Science proves quality sleep can help boost reaction time, recovery time, and overall athletic performance.

[294] As the official sleep wellness partner of the NFL, sleep numbers mission, is to provide players with data and insights to optimize their sleep for the ultimate competitive edge.

[295] Sleep is essential for recovery, and we all have unique needs.

[296] That's why Sleep Number SmartBeds are perfect for couples, with individualized settings for each side.

[297] Since 2018, Sleep Number and the NFL have teamed up to bring quality sleep to elite athletes.

[298] Eight out of 10 NFL players, including 80 % of Kansas City Chiefs players trust Sleep Number for their best rest.

[299] And now, during Sleep Number's biggest sale of the year, save 50 % on the Sleep Number limited edition smart bed plus special financing for a limited time only at a sleep number store or sleep number .com Sleep number, official sleep and wellness partner of the NFL.

[300] C store for details.

[301] Don Lebertard.

[302] Oh, I like firing people.

[303] So I take the opportunity to fire whenever I possibly can because I can use it as a learning experience for them and try to help them out and try to point out what they did wrong.

[304] But in this case, the employee was enough levels below where I was that I did not do the firing, but I had it done within moments of discovery.

[305] I'm just like firing people.

[306] It's just absurd.

[307] It's absurd.

[308] Stugats.

[309] I'm talking about people who I fire who deserve it, who have done something that actively requires me to fire them.

[310] It is my unadulterated pleasure to do so.

[311] This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugat.

[312] I'm forever fascinated by the ability of people to get out of things they don't want to do at work.

[313] Whether it's Stugats and his lacrosse mitzvahs or Stugats and his Dead Tours or Stugats and the...

[314] WFAN.

[315] Yeah, they've got to go up to New York.

[316] It's just the idea that I'm going to do whatever it takes.

[317] to legitimize the reason why I just don't want to do this.

[318] Brandon Ayuk, you, sir, are a prince among us.

[319] Hold out, this offer is insulting, you guys need to trade me somewhere else, trade talks with other teams, and then yesterday the news comes out, signs a new deal for exactly the same money that they offered at the beginning of this.

[320] whole shit.

[321] It has to be that, right?

[322] It can't be like he overvalued himself and then realize, wow, whatever, and now comes back with hat and hand.

[323] This is just, I didn't want to do training camp.

[324] It's not like he's an older guy, though, or like a lineman, he's banging it.

[325] Like, I feel like, is training camp that crazy for wide receivers?

[326] Yes, man. You think training camp is easy?

[327] I think of more older players that are like, man, I just want to get out of training camp.

[328] It seems like he wanted to get money and there was maybe not the market that he thought.

[329] No, no, no, no. Nobody likes doing training camp.

[330] Maybe your first one, you're excited, you're a rookie.

[331] But, like, he's been around long enough.

[332] I know it.

[333] I know what we're doing, guys.

[334] I know what we're doing.

[335] I don't want to do any of this.

[336] Based on, like, the report, it seemed like there was never really much back and forth also.

[337] Like, it didn't seem like either side from what I read really had a plan.

[338] It was just like, here's the deal.

[339] And then it's like, well, I don't want that.

[340] And then it was just a lot of, like, nothing happening.

[341] And then there was, like, maybe attempts to trade and like, nah, we don't.

[342] don't like that and like okay and then everyone's just waiting around because no one really had something else that they wanted to ask for whatever and then they came back and like so you want this like okay he ever had this one like someone hey what do you want to get to eat and I don't know what do you want I don't know that and then you say something like no no not that you say something I said no no not that well do you have a suggestion no not really and so we just sit around we're doing this thing and then finally like hey you want to go to the like to the first thing I said like all right fine and it's like what do all this for we could We could have been went.

[343] We could have been done this.

[344] And in Brennan to Yucke's case, I feel like, he just didn't want to do that.

[345] He didn't want to do the heck.

[346] He didn't want to do Cam.

[347] My dad, inexplicably, any time he has, like, he hates that.

[348] Like, get into the car.

[349] Where do you guys want to go?

[350] He, for some reason, calls that who shot John.

[351] Instead of who shot J .R. He's just like, why are we playing Who Shot John?

[352] Is he trying to do Who Shot J .R?

[353] I don't know.

[354] I actually just looked it up because I was like, I hope this isn't, like, an offensive reference that my dad does.

[355] But it isn't, like nothing on the internet popped up.

[356] Well, who shot J .R. was a big deal in the 80s.

[357] Maybe.

[358] So, like, it was like, who do you think did it?

[359] I don't know.

[360] Who do you think did it?

[361] But that was, that's like, so there was a television show in the 80s called Dallas.

[362] It was like a nighttime soap opera kind of drama, whatever.

[363] And one of the seasons, they ended with, like, the main character was a real son of a bitch named J .R. He gets shot.

[364] And it was a big question.

[365] Like, who shot him?

[366] And so everyone all summer long went crazy trying to figure out who shot J .R. And then it turned out it was like.

[367] I could call my dad and ask him, but that might not have a good payoff.

[368] And then the Simpsons did a parody of that with Mr. Burns.

[369] Yes.

[370] He's always like just like, can we not play Who Shot, John?

[371] It's like, why are you calling it?

[372] I'm 98 % sure.

[373] He's saying it wrong.

[374] He's not making a reference or creating his own thing.

[375] He's saying that one wrong.

[376] It's like, I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want.

[377] I think we call him.

[378] That's the thing.

[379] It's like, I know I don't want out back.

[380] I know I don't want Chili's.

[381] I just don't know what I want those.

[382] But then you end up going out back.

[383] Yeah.

[384] And you have a -oh, you know what?

[385] I like the bread.

[386] And you have a ball.

[387] All right, that's the part that Oh, we got, we're getting Greg on the line here Hey, Dad, you're on the main show.

[388] I'm driving.

[389] Okay, he's headed down to Key West, by the way.

[390] He's a classic Greg Cody weekend.

[391] Putting his business out there.

[392] Yeah, I guess maybe I shouldn't have done that.

[393] Anyways, Dad, why do you, when we're in a car looking for a restaurant and you're like, why is it called Who Shot John, that game of what do you want to eat?

[394] Honestly, I am not sure the origin of that.

[395] Okay.

[396] If you Google a phrase, I don't know whether it even applies, but in the context, I use it.

[397] No, we know the context.

[398] I set that part up, yeah.

[399] Greg?

[400] Yeah, so I don't know the answer.

[401] It's just all those like catches, catch can.

[402] You know, who knows where that comes from.

[403] That kind of thing.

[404] Greg, this is a mean.

[405] I just want to know, is it.

[406] Thank you.

[407] Greg, is it because you're messing up who shot J .R.?

[408] No, it's a phrase.

[409] I don't know.

[410] I know who shot J .R. I think predates or came after me saying who shot J. Oh, wow.

[411] You know, I mean I've invented the phrase who shot J .R. I don't know.

[412] Okay, good work out of you.

[413] Thanks, Greg.

[414] That's that ladies gentlemen is content.

[415] So we got, this will be a great nominee for best story next year, right?

[416] That Greg Cody asserts that he is the inventor of the term who shot blank and the show Dallas stole that from him.

[417] And then Biggie stole it after.

[418] That checks out.

[419] And The Simpsons.

[420] Yeah, I like it.

[421] It's a great story.

[422] But let's listen to the best stories of the last year.

[423] It's the Sui nominees for Best Story.

[424] Oh, man. All right.

[425] Stall.

[426] Stalling.

[427] John has multiple meetings.

[428] It says here on the Internet, according to Google AI.

[429] Did I stall long enough for you?

[430] And now the Suey nominees for Best Story.

[431] Amina L. Hassan gets recognized by a fan.

[432] Cars are whizzing past.

[433] got to make sure that John Reed doesn't get hit by a car because he's filming me walking backward across the street and I'm really worried about this, right?

[434] Chris says, hey, I mean, you can come back now.

[435] I said, I know.

[436] I've been walking this whole time, walking back to the Elser.

[437] That's how far this thing was.

[438] But that's not the worst part.

[439] The worst part is at one of these intersections where I'm waiting for these cars to go by so I can cross the street.

[440] A car comes down and as it's coming by, I see them roll their windows down and the person driving leans over to the passenger site, to the side where I'm at, starts waving and says, Bomani!

[441] Oh, no. Pablo Tori misses Messi's first goal for inner Miami because he was eating chicken fingers.

[442] You miss Messi's first goal.

[443] For a chicken tender.

[444] A chicken tender.

[445] On my badge, it said field sweet.

[446] And I said to myself, I'm a veteran of this game.

[447] There's going to be stuff there.

[448] And I get there, and I don't eat it.

[449] and I go outside to see the beginning of the game.

[450] I tell Chris, Chris, when you break in the seal?

[451] Chris informs me, he already broke his seal.

[452] He's already eaten.

[453] And at that point, I'm like...

[454] It was an awkward thing where there weren't a lot of people eating.

[455] No one was eating there.

[456] You had that awkward feeling of like, can I or can't I?

[457] No one was eating because the match had started.

[458] In no way is Leo Messi just going to come out here and immediately score another goddamn goal?

[459] Of course, I would have enough time to grab a chicken tender because I hosted four hours of goddamn radio today.

[460] haven't eaten.

[461] And instead, what I witnessed through the glass smudged by the 100 degree humidity is a scene unfolding.

[462] And then I burst through the door and saw Chris Cody already with his phone out, pointed at me, laughing at the fact that I had missed actual history.

[463] Billy Gill's TSA story.

[464] So I'm going through like TSA pre -check, right?

[465] And, you know, the stuff goes through the x -ray machine.

[466] You know how sometimes it goes off on like a different thing and they have to start like looking through it.

[467] So this bag goes off on a different side.

[468] And I'm like getting my stuff minding my own business, whatever.

[469] And then the TSA agent is going to check the bag.

[470] He's like, who's bag is this?

[471] Who's bag?

[472] Is this?

[473] Whatever, right?

[474] And then a woman's like, oh, it's mine.

[475] And he looks at her with a straight face and he goes, are you a child trafficker?

[476] What?

[477] And she goes, no. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, is it been a wild answer?

[478] Well, no, because I'm like, who would say yes?

[479] He's like, are you a child trafficker?

[480] And I was like, oh my God.

[481] And in my head, I'm like, did a kid show up on that x -ray?

[482] Like, why would you ask that question?

[483] And then he looks at her, and he looks at her stomach, and he goes, you sure?

[484] And then it was because she was pregnant.

[485] She goes, oh, yeah, I'm expecting, blah, blah, blah.

[486] But that's how he asked.

[487] Are you a child trafficker?

[488] And then went like this when she said, no, he goes, he was like, that's what a child trafficker was.

[489] Dude, that's what's worse than a dad joke.

[490] The wildest joke ever.

[491] Ron McGill's Gorilla Sting.

[492] We worked with the U .S. Drug Enforcement Agency.

[493] to actually do a sting operation on a guy by putting a guy in a gorilla suit.

[494] We put him in a cage.

[495] We put him in a gorilla cage because this guy was trying to buy a gorilla illegally.

[496] And he came to one of us at the zoo and we, of course, certified the authorities.

[497] No, I'm out of the man. It's up.

[498] This is you.

[499] We put the dog.

[500] We put an agent in a gorilla suit.

[501] Did he arrest him?

[502] Did the guy in the suit arrested?

[503] Did he whip off the head?

[504] We put him in his cage.

[505] Like, okay, you're going to buy this gorilla illegally.

[506] We're going to get it.

[507] You got to come pick it up in the middle of the night.

[508] We put a bunch of gorilla poop in with this guy.

[509] So it stunk like a gorilla and everything.

[510] And yes, as soon as the guy came, gave the money exchange to the agent, the guy of the gorilla suit opened the cage, and they arrested the guy.

[511] David Sampson clogged a stranger's toilet during a marathon.

[512] What's the oddest place you've poop while running a marathon?

[513] It was right before the New York Marathon, and where you are staged is a army base.

[514] And I actually went into someone's house who was in the army.

[515] It was a veteran?

[516] Oh, my God.

[517] No, no. an active army like general thank you for your service thank you for your service lucy you're mortified and it ended up clogging and it flooded and i ran i didn't leave a note and i think about it to this day that poor person coming back after volunteering for the new york marathon and what i left that person with he comes home who's shit in my toilet is right who's shit in my toilet what what communist There's a little nugget, Dan.

[518] I chose the master bathroom.

[519] Oh, my God.

[520] Because it's comfortable.

[521] It was nicer.

[522] What do you mean?

[523] You were scoping out the bathrooms of the General's house?

[524] This is an uncommon horror.

[525] Roy Bellamy's hit and run on Billy Gill's car.

[526] Didn't you clip Billy's car once?

[527] He did hit Mike.

[528] It's worse than that.

[529] He hit, I was borrowing my mother -in -law's car and he crashed into it leaving the garage.

[530] Yeah, because somebody had turned.

[531] short and that's the story yeah so it was their fault he just happened to be your car he also tried to leave the garage and it was at the bottom of the ramp and I'm like hey what are we doing here he just crashed into me I didn't try to leave he was all the way at the bottom of the ramp and I was parked at the top of the ramp the bottom of the ramp yeah I never I never parked on the corners anymore on floors because Roy crashed into me Taylor Vipolis totaled his car I forgot to put the car in park it rolled off a cliff is that why you scooted it rolled off a cliff yeah wait it was on top of my driveway i lived on like a cliff type setting and i went to my my trunk you mean a hill he lived on a hill it was more of a cliff he doesn't like it because nobody lives nobody lives on a cliff you live on a hill some people live on that cliff you know just not us i put the car in park or so i thought and i went to the trunk to get my gym bag and then as i'm going i could feel the car rolling back and my foot's already we're already out of the car and there was like a little wooden beam that protected this cliff or this hill and I was like okay the car is just going to hit the hit the wooden beam take a little dent and as I'm thinking that the car just go straight through hold on a second and rolls off you're saying this so casually yeah the car got totaled it rolled off onto a street like off the side of a cliff onto the street did it hit anything no it didn't hit anything but everybody was driving by and they were like why is there a car upside down on the road everybody's calling my parents I'm trying to call them my mom was like at like a nail appointment and she got her nail appointment finished and she saw she had like 20 miss calls and I was like hey I'm okay you have that's how you have that's how you start a conversation I'm okay but the car is done Charlotte Wilder and Jessica Smatana's bizarre first word we have a fun fact about first words uh Jess and I have the same first word and it's really strange one two three back oh yeah like an excavators Yeah, that was both of our first words.

[532] It's an odd first word.

[533] Wow.

[534] Back ho?

[535] Darlet and I found out about our first words in one of the strangest ways possible, because we are a few years apart in age, didn't grow up in the same region of the country, never knew each other until our first job together at SB Nation.

[536] And we were typing in Slack, having a Slack conversation across the office, and someone brought up first words.

[537] And at the same time, we both typed into Slack, My first word was backhoe.

[538] And it was so spooky.

[539] We both stood up.

[540] We were on the opposite side of the office.

[541] We didn't know each other.

[542] Brad Penny's Bat Boy Milk Story.

[543] It was just a bet.

[544] And we said, it was me. Actually, I said, Nick, we'll give you $500.

[545] If you can drink this milk and keep it down for an hour.

[546] And, I mean, it took him to the very last minute to get it down.

[547] And I mean, it was hilarious.

[548] It was like a stream.

[549] I can't even I can't even explain to you how hard he threw up Please try I mean I can't It was it was I mean it was a good And it was in the What kind of exit velocity are we talking Oh big time Big time I mean it was I've never seen anything like it Unless it was on like the Exorcist movie Yeah law jangle How many heaves is unbelievable How many heaves?

[550] Is it two three heaves What would just one long stream.

[551] Dude, it was, we thought he would die.

[552] He could have died.

[553] Just on a side note.

[554] Never mentioned before is the fact that he could have died.

[555] I know this.

[556] I know you were so concerned about that kid dying.

[557] You fired him.

[558] Exactly right.

[559] Greg Cody struggles to drive in Ireland.

[560] Keep in mind, I'm driving on the wrong side of the car on the wrong side of the road.

[561] So I'm not used to the.

[562] It's really discombobulating me. It took days to adjust to the fact that I'm doing the opposite of what we get in the States.

[563] And so I want to hug the left side so that I don't head on somebody.

[564] And my wife must have said a thousand times, Greg, move over.

[565] You're about to hit a wall.

[566] You're about to hit a curb.

[567] Greg, move over, move over.

[568] And it's just so annoying.

[569] He's right I only hit one wall You were her I drove for eight days I hit one wall That's pretty good How many did you pass 100?

[570] There you go Thank you Not even one percent Now I hit a bunch of bushes They have a wall of bushes And so yeah And you're driving And you hear the car go Flap Flap Flap Flap Flap In the sitting all these bushes Didn't you clip something in a parking garage Do?

[571] We had a minor Mishap in a parking garage Minor Jessica's dad almost died in a plane crash.

[572] When I was a baby, my dad was supposed to be on a flight from Chicago to Pittsburgh got crashed and everyone on board died.

[573] It was one of the last major commercial airline flight crashes in the United States.

[574] But he either changed his flight at the last second or didn't make it on the flight.

[575] Ended up on a different flight, but my family didn't know that he wasn't on the plane.

[576] So we all thought that he died.

[577] What?

[578] And then lo and behold, we were in Pittsburgh and he was just, he showed up at my grandparents' house.

[579] And that's how we found out that he didn't.

[580] make it on the plane.

[581] Are you guys sobbing?

[582] Before cell phones.

[583] Yeah, my mom was like, shit.

[584] My mom was like, ooh, I have two babies.

[585] What am I going to do?

[586] Yeah, everyone was freaking out.

[587] Everyone was calling my grandparents, like, is Mark okay?

[588] And they were like, we don't think so.

[589] But they didn't have cell phones.

[590] They didn't have like a final flight manifest ready until like hours later.

[591] So yeah, my family all just thought he was on the plane.

[592] Diana Rusini's son makes an odd request.

[593] My fear is what my son did the other day, which he took my phone and she, charged so you know how an apple pay you can charge people um and give them money and ask them for money they charged a very very respected general manager in the NFL $50 um at 5 o 'clock in the morgue that's great that's style is in which that she had and this is why i i will fight for the chance the day i die wrote back to me hey is everything okay do you need money and I'm like what did Belichick say is everything okay he's going to fall for a scam and then Venmo you $50 because he thinks someone's abducted you at 5 o 'clock in the morning first thought is like whatever you need to die like I didn't know what was that bad you checked on a roster move I made the other We went that the last day was, do you think we probably wound up cutting this guy?

[594] And then like three days later, it's a $15 charge at 5 .5 in the morning.

[595] Like, it's horrible.

[596] And I said, so sorry, that was Mikey.

[597] And he's like, he wrote back.

[598] Is he all right?

[599] I'm like, he was fine.

[600] He's two.

[601] He just said, no. Chris Mad Dogg Rousseau took too many gummies.

[602] Have you ever taken too many gummies, doggy?

[603] And you just Oh, yeah, I sure have.

[604] Steve Tori, the dope, gave me his share.

[605] And, you know, He must be an elephant, but he gave me his last year coming back from the Super Bowl.

[606] It hit me when I was about to eat a sandwich, and I was about to open up the cabin and fly away.

[607] Thank God I fell asleep.

[608] That was a weird one.

[609] Cut him in half, Steve, for crying out loud.

[610] He gave me a full one, and I was in La La Land.

[611] I took a nap.

[612] Thank God I fell asleep.

[613] They were out of sandwiches.

[614] I ate about 9 billion Oreo cookies.

[615] Double stuff.

[616] Not with that double stuff.

[617] You got it right.

[618] I know Steve Torrey.

[619] I work with a serious ex -exam.

[620] I had no idea.

[621] He was an edible guy.

[622] How about that?

[623] Strong ones too.

[624] Strong ones are very like an elephant.

[625] He's like a terrible fake doggy.

[626] Spin off knows there's no eye in football.

[627] It's a wee thing.

[628] An experience best enjoyed together.

[629] Whether you're home or away, we rally together.

[630] We cry together.

[631] And we always rally cry together.

[632] because in fandom, there's definitely no eye.

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[645] Don Lebertard.

[646] Cheaters never prosper.

[647] Stugats.

[648] I ain't cheating!

[649] This is the Dan Lebetar show with the Stugats.

[650] Some highlights Jessica Smetana's mom's reaction to thinking her dad is dead I got crap I got two kids and not like oh my God the love of my life is like ah shit I gotta do this shit now also the the disgust in Mike Pentes's voice He was the star of the entire Suey nomination It's not even his story And it's yeah Nobody lives Nobody lives on a cliff You live on a hill guy what is wrong with that guy it's not going to win best story because it's you know it's a good story it's a good story car rolling down a hill because nobody lives nobody lives on a cliff you live on a hill but that might be best dismissal that should have been you live on a hill that is a great dismissal that is a great dismissal I saw photos of said situation and it's more that there was there's a cliff aspect to this hill like it's not just like it went rolling down and it hit something it like it made a jump off the side of something onto something else but Like, it's maybe, if I remember the photo correctly, it was maybe like a 8 to 10 foot fall, but like it did roll off and then it fell onto something else.

[651] Nobody lives on a cliff.

[652] You live on a hill.

[653] You know what that reminds me of?

[654] You know when you're like, you live on a hill part is so dismissive.

[655] When you're in a friend group and there's one of the guys you don't really like that much.

[656] And then he's telling a story or whatever.

[657] And then all of a sudden that falls, you don't live on a hill.

[658] You live on a cliff.

[659] You live on a hill.

[660] Nobody lives on.

[661] But is the friend that we don't like Taylor or Fuentes?

[662] Taylor Fentz doesn't like Taylor In the front room Nobody lives on an effing cliff Because in my mind I just thought about He starts the story Like my car rolled off a cliff My house is on a clip I was thinking about like The Mission Impossible cliff That Tom Cruise motorcycles off Yeah I thought of a house And then like On the back side is this clip And then as he's describing it It sounds more like a hill And then Pueza comes in And says and says He wants you to play the clip again I was actually grabbing Taylor because Taylor's set up of where he lives is awkward in Mike Fuentes' defense On top of my driveway I lived on like a cliff type setting A cliff type setting That's something wrong with that I thought a mission impossible The other thing that I thought was I look I don't want to taint The voting process Billy I think you might have Best story man I think you might have best story The trial I forgot that story.

[663] When I heard it, I was like, this is an adventure.

[664] What happened here?

[665] I think the craziest part is the risk of that joke, like on many levels.

[666] Like, there's the child trafficking risk.

[667] And then there's also like the risk of, what if this person isn't pregnant?

[668] Because thinking back, I now remember, not very clearly showing.

[669] Like, not 100 % certain.

[670] Oh, my God.

[671] It must have been a situation where, like, they said, like, oh, you can't go through the x -ray or something, right?

[672] Isn't that a thing?

[673] Oh, maybe.

[674] But there is no x -ray.

[675] Those, that's not the swirley thing.

[676] You can go through that if you're pregnant.

[677] I don't know.

[678] But like, the other part of this is, what if she wasn't pregnant?

[679] That's what I'm saying?

[680] No, no. What if she wasn't pregnant?

[681] And she's actually a child trafficker.

[682] You have to say yes, right?

[683] It's like if you ask the cop, are you a cop?

[684] They have to say yes.

[685] Yes would have been a wild answer.

[686] She's just like, yeah, actually.

[687] How'd you know?

[688] Like, imagine her, child trafficker.

[689] She's like, okay, all I got to do is get through the security and we're home free.

[690] And then I guys, boop, ma 'am.

[691] Call of your lady.

[692] See, that's one of those dangerous jokes that, like, in a different setting, you could take to another level, right?

[693] Like, if you're her and he says, are you a child trafficker?

[694] If she wanted to take the joke to another level, not at TSA, not at an airport, just dropped her bag and run for it.

[695] Yeah, yeah.

[696] Like me in Vegas when security came because we spilled the water on the ground.

[697] No, but I'm just thinking.

[698] What?

[699] Oh, yeah.

[700] You were here.

[701] It's kind of like in Super Bowl.

[702] bad when he's looking at McLevin's fake ID.

[703] He's like, huh, you're an organ donor.

[704] I just love the idea of her child trafficker going, okay, all I've got to get through, get home free, whatever.

[705] It's like, ma 'am, ma 'am?

[706] And he's like, are you a child trafficker?

[707] Like, oh shit, he got me. And like, start sweating bullets.

[708] And then he says, pregnant, right?

[709] And he's like, yes.

[710] Of course.

[711] Yes, I am.

[712] And she gets through.

[713] Super pregnant.

[714] Yeah.

[715] She gets through, and then she goes on her life.

[716] of child trafficking.

[717] Because nobody lives on a cliff.

[718] You live on a hill.

[719] You live on a hill.

[720] The venom in that clip is amazing.

[721] Because nobody lives on a cliff.

[722] You live on a hill.

[723] I was laughing out loud last night going through the final edit, just that point is.

[724] That's a drop, man. Because nobody lives on a cliff.

[725] You live on a hill.

[726] You live on a hill.

[727] Oh, man. You know who...

[728] It's so unnecessary.

[729] It's brutal.

[730] Yeah, there's an extra.

[731] an annoyance and irritation.

[732] This is the final straw for some reason.

[733] Because nobody lives on a cliff.

[734] You live on a hill.

[735] Taylor hasn't been back on Mr. Crate since.

[736] I can see him through the window also defending this take of his, Mike Fuentes.

[737] Because nobody lives on a cliff.

[738] You live on a hill.

[739] With a big smile, too, I can see him.

[740] That means he did it.

[741] You know he's lying.

[742] So speaking of living on a hill, there's someone who's going to be able to buy a very nice house on the hill, even though there are no hills in Miami.

[743] It's Mike McDaniel.

[744] You got to see the news?

[745] A little extension there.

[746] Ah, the NFL news, Dano.

[747] It never stops.

[748] According to Jeff Darlington, breaking news.

[749] There we go.

[750] The NFL news never stops, Dano.

[751] According to Jeff Darlington, Dolphins coach Mike McDaniel has signed a new contract that extends him through the 2028 season.

[752] So a nice little four -year extension for the boy.

[753] I hope that no one reacts to this story for Darlington and then we interview Mike McDaniel in a few weeks, and he talks about it, and then it goes viral.

[754] And then Darlington gets mad at us again.

[755] That would be awesome.

[756] That would be so incredible.

[757] That's not the only extension in the news.

[758] Do you guys see about Steph Curry also?

[759] One year.

[760] One year, 61 million dollars.

[761] Love it, love it.

[762] What do they mean by that?

[763] What does it mean?

[764] Well, it means that Jeremy's wet dream has to defer another year at least.

[765] Was this like an extension for next season or just a year added to his argument?

[766] It's a year added to his contract.

[767] So a nothing burger.

[768] Have you seen Steph Curry as a show on peacock?

[769] Dude, I hear it's good.

[770] Really?

[771] I saw the commercial for it and I was like, yeah.

[772] I was so skeptical and then a couple of my buddies watched it and like, yo, it's actually like not bad.

[773] How is he on?

[774] He's ass on, but everybody else is a very funny actor.

[775] So like everybody else carries a show and then he's just the one guy who can't act, but it's fine because they carry it comedically.

[776] But he also like acts like an exaggerated version of Steph Curry.

[777] You know what I mean?

[778] Like he just gives a guy a car.

[779] He's like, ah, you don't want your daughter wants a birthday?

[780] All right, let's try to keep it under nine figures.

[781] Yeah.

[782] He plays an exaggerated version himself, and it's about his buddy that he went to college with or high school with?

[783] High school with.

[784] Well, not even.

[785] I guess, like, based on the age elementary school.

[786] A quick, quick spoiler situation.

[787] You watch this.

[788] I'm like two episodes in, so I can give you, like, the premise of the situation.

[789] So he has a friend who was, like, the greatest player of all time.

[790] They were 12 -year -olds.

[791] Oh, my God.

[792] This guy had a future.

[793] the best thing ever.

[794] He was so good, so much better than all the other players.

[795] He was so much bigger than all the other players.

[796] Steph was 12 and Danny was the best player he had ever seen.

[797] And then we find out Danny's dad lied about Danny's age.

[798] And Danny was two years older than everyone else.

[799] And then there was scandal in Danny's life.

[800] Like another Danny.

[801] And Danny's life has kind of fallen on hard times and fallen off since.

[802] And then there's a situation where he needs to, needs a little bit of help.

[803] And he decides, you know what?

[804] Let me get close to my old friend, Steph Curry, but we're also kind of, there's now a false, false pretense of situations going on here.

[805] And Steph is being a kind -hearted, you know, friend because he thinks that there's one situation going on when it's really another situation.

[806] It's like Fred Claus.

[807] You ever watch that movie?

[808] It's just like Fred Claus.

[809] I've gotten a bit of an update here.

[810] It looks like a cliff to me. If everybody can check their phone, Taylor just sent us a picture of what it looks like.

[811] Well, let's do this.

[812] Can we get it?

[813] It's very, it's, I know we only have a little bit of time left, but Lewis, can we get this?

[814] Why did he send it to us instead of the video team?

[815] Isn't that his job?

[816] Also, very carefully crop out the address that's visible in this picture.

[817] Not a cliff, by the way.

[818] Ah, there's rocks.

[819] A cliff like setting, that's what he said.

[820] There's multiple layers of this cliff.

[821] Dude, this is not what I had in mind.

[822] Nice house.

[823] Nobody lives on a cliff.

[824] You live on a hill.

[825] Yeah, he lives on a hill.

[826] I thought, like, I literally thought it was.

[827] like high, high above the roadway.

[828] Nobody lives on a cliff.

[829] You live on a hill.

[830] This is not a cliff.

[831] Cliff like setting.

[832] Nobody lives on a cliff.

[833] It covers him there, like setting.

[834] Yeah, this is a hill.

[835] This is a hill.

[836] It's just, yeah.

[837] You fall off the side of a hill that does have the ramp.

[838] That's a cliff, right?

[839] He lives on a cliff.

[840] You live on a hill.

[841] It's not a bluff.

[842] To call this a cliff is like calling any stairway a cliff.

[843] Right?

[844] It's just stairs.

[845] Nobody lives on a cliff.

[846] You live on a hill.

[847] It's giant stairs, but it stares, none the last.

[848] less.

[849] Cliff Floyd.

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[866] Now's a good time to enjoy Cuervo.

[867] The Tequila that invented tequila.

[868] Go to Quervo .com to shop tequila or visit a store near you.

[869] Now's a good time.

[870] Trademarks owned by Beckley, SAB, the CV, copyright 2024.

[871] Proximo.

[872] Jersey City, New Jersey, please drink responsibly.